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1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 25,August,2003 | Ok, now I'm done, I swear! |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 24,August,2003 | |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 24,August,2003 | |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 24,August,2003 | soo... I'm being eclectic.... |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 24,August,2003 | |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 24,August,2003 | some words are hard to make come out of my mouth. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 24,August,2003 | Ok, so I'm going to post some more. Honestly I really am happy. I love my life the way it is right now. I suppose some people might think I'm kind of odd saying this, but I feel like I'm doing what God wants me to be doing. This is where I'm supposed to be. I'm so happy to have the people that I love so much, who mean so much to me. I'm happy to have the tasks I have to be doing. People keep telling me I go around looking like I'm glowing, because I'm so happy. This world is too beautiful to waste my time here being unhappy. When I was at World Youth Day, Alexandro {a guy we met there...} called me 'the Smiley girl'. At the time I thought that was an insult, but now I see that it was really an extremely nice complement {well, he didn't mean it that way, he DID mean it as an insult but hey...} I wish I could give people little slices of sunshine, and rain showers with a little thunder on the side... maybe a few hugs and a kiss, a years supply of friendly smiles from people you don't even know, and perhaps then all people could be happy like me. I'm still telling you too much. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 23,August,2003 | Random somewhat ironic thoughts in my head: 1. I try to be understanding... but there is only so much I can comprehend. 2. Every time you try to slam a door in my face, a window swings open. Its funny how words bounce around in my head like that, until they run into each other, and hook up into at least semi-comprehendable phrases like that, until my thoughts become a constant refrain of these words, and I have to get them out. Sometimes I think I know too much, sometimes I think I see too much. Sometimes I think I think too much, and sometimes I think I'm blind. Its also funny how words bounce around in my head, and I can't let them out, because then I would be saying too much... Or maybe I would be saying just enough, but then I would be feeling too much. There are things I want to explain to you, but I'm so bad at this. I told you that didn't I? There are lots of things I wish. Silly things, I should be glad to be the way I am... I'm not unsatisfied with the way I am, but sometimes it just seems like, if I were a little different... if only I could just... then everything would always be perfect. Wouldn't it? I told Sean maybe I'm pouring too much into this. I think I'm right... you can see too much of me here. and that's dangerous. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 23,August,2003 | yay for watching old musicals... with Judy Garland and Fred Astaire... its even better than a chick flick fest! |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 23,August,2003 | Yesterday was a very very long day... and I was really crabby for most of it. We had to go uniform shopping for Bobby, and we went about ten different places to find the right size. We were at Oak Park mall for a while, so when Sean called me, I told him to come save me. About ten minutes after he got there, my parents decided that we were done shopping, and that I had to go home with them... so then I was in an even worse mood... but then on the way home I asked my mom if it would be ok if Sean just came to the house and we hung out there for a while, and she said that'd be fine... so Sean came over to the house, and had pizza with my family, and then we sat out on the back patio until he had to go home. So I didn't end up going to bed in a bad mood, and I woke up in a REALLy good mood this morning. ;-) Today I have to practice my harmonies for mass tomorrow. Otherwise I might mess up, and THAT would be bad. I'm hungry... I'll probably post more later.... |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 22,August,2003 | From the Pratt Institute of Art book I got in the mail today: 'How do you see the world? Here's a simple test: Find a plain cardboard box. Cut a rectangular hole in one side.Put the box over your head, and look through the hole. Now, what do you see, or more to the point, how do you feel? Boxed in, limited, or claustrophobic? Or do the edges of your box suggest new ways of looking at the world, of isolating and composing elements, of telling a story? Okay, you can take the box off y our head now. It may seem like a silly exercise, but the truth is, most filmakers and photographers live their linves in that box, shaping individual images and whole worlds within those few simple lines. The experience isn't limiting... its liberating.' YAY!!! That's how I feel... I see the world through a BOX!!!!!!! that sounds horrible I know, but I LOVE IT... love it more than anything... |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 21,August,2003 | ugh I had forgotten, You don 't know who I really am So don't think any differently of me than you did before. Ignore the little glimpse of darkness, It's just a little piece of me If only I could laugh like Lauren Krum You would laugh too and forget the little piece of me you saw |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 21,August,2003 | Disorder Rating urlLink Paranoid : Moderate urlLink Schizoid : Low urlLink Schizotypal : Moderate urlLink Antisocial : Low urlLink Borderline : Moderate urlLink Histrionic : High urlLink Narcissistic : Moderate urlLink Avoidant : Moderate urlLink Dependent : High urlLink Obsessive-Compulsive : High -- urlLink Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- I am a mental case. I need psychological help. oh wow. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 21,August,2003 | 'so long sweet summer' {I think... it might be called something else} dashboard confessional {YeS AgAIN!!!} So long sweet summer I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays So long sweet summer I fell into you Now youre gracefully falling away Hey thanks Thanks for that summer Its cold where youre going I hope that your hearts always warm I gave you the best I gave you the best that I had You passed on the letters and passed on the best that I had So long sweet summer I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays So long sweet summer I fell into you Now youre gracefully falling away I hate the winter in Lexington I hate the winter in Lexington Lexington Lexington Lexington {I hate the winter... in Lee's Summit... hee hee} Top 15 Fun Times of the summer... in no particular order: 1. HYU... I already can't wait till next year! {except my mom's threatening to not let me go because they're hoping to let me go to photojournalism camp at Corcoran next summer} 2.The couple of times I spent on the phone 3-way with Sama and Chantele... oh wow. 3.getting my car :-) 4. ...going tower climbing with St. Roberts... THAT was cool.... I climbed like 55ft up in the air, and then jumped off the top... WHEEEEeee!!! 5. when Sama came over and taught me how to make guacamole... 6.going swing dancing with Sean and Meghan, 7. playing in the rain with Bobby... back when it DID rain...{Sean LIED to me last night and told me it was going to rain, and I got all excited, and it didn't.} 8. prayer jams at St. Robert's 9.going to Thoroughly Modern Millie with my dad 10. doing the Excited About Christ week at St. Roberts... that was the weekend Sean came over for the prayer service , and then afterwards we went over to Tiffany's house to go swimming, and I got thrown in fully clothed. oh that was probably the best. 11.going to world's of fun with David, and... yet again, the St. robert's people 12.going to california with my family 13. The day Chantele and Sean came over, and we went swimming and screwed around all day. 14.going to see the Sound of Music with Samantha, 15. and Samantha's birthday. wow, its all me hanging out with the same people... Chantele, Samantha, Sean, and the St. Robert's people... well, i know i'm guaranteed to have fun when I'm with them... so I guess I kind of seek them out. .:sigh:. well, the summer was satisfactory, and now its gracefully falling away... so long sweet summer! |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 21,August,2003 | Today was another good day. I drove to school and got my schedule changed... well that wasn't so good, but I'm not going to think about that right now, and then I had a liturgy planning commitee meeting and I got to see Katherine... I love her SO much. And I talked to Samantha and Chantele both today... I had lots of stuff to tell them... and then I met with Fr. Don tonight, and talked about the youth group and a scholarship I got from the parish, and liturgies and other general topics.... THEN I had my first cantor practice for mass sunday. Yes, I will be singing at noon mass on Sunday... I don't think you can even BEGIN to understand what a big step that is for me. but I talked to the music director, and she wants us to get more youth music started and wants me to help. So give me two weeks and I'll have St. John's whipped up into tip top shape for youth ministry!!!!!!!!! Don't you just HATE having to do everything yourself? anyway, I'm excited about my general prospects for the future, I can't wait to see the new journalism room at school, and hopefully I'll get to see more of Sean once school starts, and I'm already over in that direction anyway, and I'm praying I won't be so stressed out at school this year {I won't have to worry about the social issues I did last year} and NCYC is in November, and hopefully I'll be getting to sing lots of fun songs at church now.... la la la la la la la!!!!!!!!! |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 20,August,2003 | hee hee... the Two Towers comes out on DVD Tuesday... Don't let me forget! except we probably won't buy it... my mom has to wait until she can buy all three of them together... .:sigh:. but I'll go rent it and then watch it eight times. I can't wait till the Return of the King comes out... will you come with me to go see it? I'll probably have finals or something that day... I did last year, but Chantele and I went afterwards. I was looking at pics and stuff though, hee hee... Eowyn's still my favorite. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 20,August,2003 | I miss Italy... it was so beautiful, and there was so much to take in. When I'm in college I'm going to spend a summer there, in Bologna... no commercialized English speaking cities for me... I was fourteen when we went before... I don't think I really quite understood what an incredible experience I was experiencing {don't you love repetitiveness?} The culture in Europe is so much richer than what we have here... Thinking about it makes me feel shallow... Am I shallow? I'm pretty sure I am. Seriously... I'm sixteen years old, and incredibly naive, and I intend to stay that way, and if being shallow is the price I have to pay... .:sigh:. oh well. see look, I'm so shallow I can't even stay on topic... but then I'm famous for my ramblings aren't i? ANYWAY... and someday, I'll go back to Italy for Lent/Easter, and go to the Carnevale, the Venician version of Mardi Gras. Its amazing, people get dressed up in incredibly ornate costumes and everybody wears masks, so you never know who you end up partying with, and people, because everyone's wearing masks, do things they'd never do as an ordinary person... doesn't that sound like something I'd do? The piazzas and vias of Venice {Venezia} are filled with an incredible mix of the most vibrant colors, and the sounds of laughter and singing and music... and after then go to the Duomo basilica in Florence for Easter Sunday mass... they light fireworks during the mass. i thought the italian guy was lieing to me when he told me that, but apparently he wasn't. and I suppose that's enough of my hopeless dreaming. Last night after I posted I sort of got in a bad mood again, so I went and listened to 'The Best Deception' like eight times Well don't you see, don't you see that the charade is over? And all the 'Best Deceptions' and the 'Clever Cover Story' awards Go to you So kiss me hard 'cause this will be the last time that I let you You will be back someday And this awkward kiss that screams of other people's lips Will be of service to giving you away To giving you away I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers I'll be all right when my hands get warm Ignoring the phone, I'd rather say nothing I'd rather you'd never heard my voice You're calling too late, too late to be gracious And you do not warrant long good-byes You're calling too late You're calling too late You're calling too late {Dashboard confessional of course} and then Sean called and made me laugh, and we talked for a couple of hours...even though he had to go to school today :-P after that I felt a lot better ...I fell asleep smiling. ;~) |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 19,August,2003 | mmm... fun. So, we went to applebee's...and Sama and Chantele and I all ordered salads... and I just made Sean eat the rest of mine...and then the applebee's people all came out and sang to Sama, and we all went back to Samantha's house. I love that house, that family, really... I feel more at home in that house than I do anywhere else besides my own house. We messed around for a while, Chantele tried to pluck Sean's eyebrows while I was sitting on him, which was just mean, but Samantha caught her just in time. I'm content.... well sort of anyway... there's always school starting, and other things making me anxious/excited. Sama call me if you read this tonight... I need to talk to you. Having the three of you right now means the world to me... I'd never be where I am right now. mmm... I thought I was done, but the plot continues to thicken... its so thick its dried concrete, and I'm standing on it now. standing on it laughing at you. you can't do it. and suppose you think its you I'm talking about... don't be so selfish... do you think you're the only one I think about? of course not. Someday I'll slap some sense into you pretty one... but right now I need you where you are. but I sound mean that way... I have to harden myself sometimes... eventually... 'You need to be more harsh...' I think I'll go to bed. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 18,August,2003 | happy birthday to you... happy birthday to you... happy birthday dear Sama, happy birthday to you!!! yay, I'm excited to go out tonight. except I really am exhausted... don't let me fall asleep in my soup! I babysat last night, and I told Sean that I'm never going to have chubby kids because I would never be able to lug them around all the time like that... seriously, I was only there for three hours, i can't even imagine all day everyday I started reading The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver. I only read ten pages or so, but I was amazed at how fast that book drags you through different emotions, it goes from astonishment to pity to amusement to anger... |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 18,August,2003 | I had a good night last night, Sean came over and had dinner with my family and me, and then we made brownies, lol. and then after he went home, he called me and we talked through a lot of stuff... and I feel a lot more comfortable with that situation now... and today was boring... so yeah. tomorrow is Samantha's Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and we're going to go out to dinner or something and Sean's gonna come, and hopefully Chantele's not grounded, and maybe Katherine'll come TOO! yay, What fun! |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 17,August,2003 | well lets try this... note comment link in top left corner. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 17,August,2003 | Look, my dad put our urlLink California Pictures on the web! and again, i am not responsible for my unphotogenicness... seriously though, I am the most unphotogenic person i have met in my entire life... thus the reason I stay BEHiND the camera... :-) |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 17,August,2003 | I'm wondering what you think of when you think of me. won't you tell me? do you think the things you say? do you laugh? I hope you laugh. I think of warmth, safety and yellow. I think of security, and smiles. I think of thorny roses, and mauve. Maybe you don't know. maybe I don't either. WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? perhaps today I will be sweet and innocent. Do I dare be anything else? I think I'm rambling. broken thoughts. I've drifted in to vagueness again. but there are things that just can't be said. and so I release my thoughts like butterflies and watch them flutter away... Perhaps you'll catch them in your net... and read the patterns on their wings. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 16,August,2003 | Climb every mountain, search high and low Follow every by way, every path you know Climb every mountain, ford every stream Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream A dream that will need, all the love you can give Everyday of your life, for as long as you live Sama and I want to go see Sing-a-long Wizard of Oz at the Lied Center in Lawrence...and Yo-Yo Ma, and the Miami city ballet... we need season tickets! urlLink http://www.lied.ku.edu/ I am sixteen going on seventeen, I know that I'm naive Fellows I meet may tell me I'm sweet, and willingly I believe I am sixteen going on seventeen, innocent as a rose... I'm getting over being annoyed with people at church calling me cute all the time... at least I know they don't think I'm ugly!! I went to noon mass this morning by myself {I was a eucharistic minister.} and Mrs. Honkomp was there, and I talked to her for a while... She was there when I was born. seriously. That church is full of people who have known me since I was born, and that really is a cool thing... but sometimes its a little scary too. I also signed up to cantor at the noon masses... I'm diving in head first! AND I have a meeting with Fr. Don Thursday night to talk about this scholarship I'm getting from the parish, and a little bit about the youth group too....:groan:. He said that they'll be hiring a new youth minister by January... JANUARY... there will be no point in hiring a youth minister by January, we won't even HAVE a youth group then... .:sigh:. oh well. What would this day be like, I wonder What will my future be, I wonder... It could be so exciting To be out in the world to be free My heart should be wildly rejoicing Oh what's the matter with me I've always longed for adventure To do the things I never dared Now here I am facing adventure Then why am I so scared Captain with seven children... What so fearsome about that Oh I must stop these doubts all these worries If I don't I just know I'll turn back I must dream of the things I am seeking I am seeking the courage I lack The courage to serve them with reliance Face my mistakes without defiance Show them I'm worthy And while I'll show them...I'll show me...so... Let them bring on all their problems I'll do better than my best I have confidence they'll put me to the test But I'll make them see I have confidence in me Somehow I will impress them I will be firm but kind And all those children, heaven bless them They will look up to me and mind me With each step I am more certain Everything will turn out fine I have confidence the world can all be mine They'll have to agree I have confidence in me I have confidence in sunshine I have confidence in rain I have confidence that spring will come again Besides which you see I have confidence in me Strength doesn't lie in numbers Strength doesn't lie in wealth Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers When you wake up, wake up! It tells me all I trust I leave my heart to All I trust becomes my own I have confidence in confidence alone... I have confidence in confidence alone! Besides what you see, I have confidence in me. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 16,August,2003 | I think I'm glowing right now. but I almost fell to pieces again. I know better than that now. I've learned my lesson. I learned it for myself. With a little help from the divine signs sent to me. I saw them. They made me happy. and I am happy. and you can't take that away from me anymore. don't even waste your breath. I'm happy... so very happy. Thank you. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 15,August,2003 | oh yeah, I forgot. I watched 'The Hours' with Chantele last night. I LOVED it. It made me cry, and you know how I am about things like that. The soundtrack was gorgeous, and the photography was enough to take my breath away. It had an incredible attention to detail, and it was an extremely well made movie... four and a half stars out of five from Rachel...:-) |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 15,August,2003 | mmm.... I had so much fun last night... I really needed that. Chantele and I went over to Sean's house at like six, and we just basically screwed around all night... listened to music, and just hung around ;)...and then I spent the night at Chantele's house. You'd think that since she's my one of my best friends, and I talk to her all the time, we wouldn't find it neccessary to talk until four o'clock in the morning... but we do anyway. I think its something about the dark... its more conducive (sp?) to these conversations we have. Tonight I'm going to Starlight to see the sound of Music with Samantha... I'm excited. It's going to be fun. I haven't seen Sama in a while. We're going to sing along with all the songs, hee hee. we're in like the 34th row of the very very last back corner section, so I don't think there will be anyone around to mind. This is going to be a good weekend. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 15,August,2003 | urlLink I love these ... my next mission? learn how to do gouache or however you spell it. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 14,August,2003 | Incubus-- Warning Bat your eyes girl Be otherworldly Count your blessings Seduce a stranger What's so wrong With being happy? Kudos to those who See through sickness Yeah Over and over And over and over She woke in the morning She knew that her life Had passed her by She called out a warning Don't ever let life pass you by I suggest we Learn to love ourselves Before it's made illegal When will we learn When will we change Just in time to see it All come down Those left standing Will make millions Writing books on ways It should have been She woke in the morning She knew that her life Had passed her by She called out a warning Don't ever let life pass you by Floating in this cosmic Jacuzzi We are like frogs oblivious To the water starting to boil Now I flinch and We all float face down She woke in the morning She knew that her life Had passed her by She called out a warning Don't ever let life pass you by Pass you by today is a Rachel feels fat day. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 14,August,2003 | Your Political Philosophy According to your answers, your political philosophy is left-liberal. Left-Liberal Left-Liberals prefer self-government in personal matters and central decision-making on economics. They want government to serve the disadvantaged in the name of fairness. Leftists tolerate social diversity, but work for economic equality. interesting... lucky charms are yummy. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 14,August,2003 | |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 13,August,2003 | So I've been a little depressed the past few days... not near as depressed as I was before, but once again, I'm tired of being me... having to deal with the things I always have to deal with... I want to deal with someone else's problems for a while... surely I'd be better at than than stuck in this stalemate I seem to be in with my own issues. I'm tired. I want to be done for a while... I'm never done. Oh well. I'm going over to Sean's house tomorrow night for a party, and Chantele's going to come. That'll be fun, I haven't seen either of them since before I left. and I'm still looking forward to November too. Stupid scheduling people didn't give me an extra elective, next to newspaper... I have to have those credits or else I won't graduate! so I have to get my schedule fixed. I have four classes a week with Chantele first semester... and I'm thinking just four with Samantha too, because she's in the smart people classes... sigh... every time I think about that it makes me sick... I'm basically screwed if I want to go to a normal college, because my grades are crap, because I got jipped out of honors classes freshman year, and have been screwed ever since. anyway... I'll have four classes with Samantha... Latin III I'm so incredibly excited to start that class!!!! {that would be what is known as EXTREME sarcasm.} I'm going to fail that class... miserably. but no, I'm going to do well this year, I am NOT going to get stressed out... I will NOT worry about other people... I will NOT get stressed out... I will NOT get stressed out... {that's one of those things I think, if I say it enough, I might actually believe it} I will NOT get stressed out... ugh. but school's still two and a half weeks away...{what? have I started my six page summer reading paper yet? no... Do I even have the book yet? no... I will NOT get stressed out!} lol. There are things I want to say... but I can't. I'm afraid.... terribly so. I would like to explain...but I can't. That's too dangerous. I'll end up broken hearted... again. Nickelback's come out with a song called 'someday'... ironic how that word haunts me. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 13,August,2003 | I GET TO GO TO NCYC!!!! I'm going to have the best birthday... I'll have one here at home with friends and family, and then I'll have one with 30000 catholic kids... in HOUSTON... I'll be WARM on my BIRTHDAY!!!!! and I just got back from hanging out with all the St. Robert's kids I'll be going with, and I have so much fun. I didn't stop laughing the whole time... I haven't ever been with them and NOT had fun! oh, I'm so excited! And Happy Alfred Hitchcock's Birthday! Gravedigger when you dig my grave could you make it shallow so that I can feel the rain oh Gravedigger |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 12,August,2003 | look its my cell phone! aren't I cool? |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 12,August,2003 | don't you just love songs with nonsense words? like ruby ruby ruby ruby so-ho? or aweemba-weh aweemba-weh lol |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 12,August,2003 | poor poor nastily sick little Rachel. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 11,August,2003 | for Sean... hee hee I'm SORRY I couldn't resist... I just thought it was funny!!! CHANTELE... CALL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 10,August,2003 | I have a fascination with light and the different ways it is manipulated. Before I started school, I remember going into my parents bedroom in the mornings when the sun would shine through the prisms my mom had hanging in her window, and I would sit there warmed by the sun and watch the rainbows move across the walls as the day went by. {Pollyanna was always one of my favorite movies too} When I was in sixth grade, I made my own kaleidoscopes for a science project, and experimented with number of mirrors involved and what angles they were placed at. Now I have this infatuation with capturing light on film. Digital cameras are boring; they have nothing to do with the light, all they do is translate real life into pixels. With film, I can manipulate the way the light is recorded, by experimenting with different chemicals. I cant wait till I have my own dark room so I can learn the tricks of the trade. Im looking forward to going back to school, if only to be photo editor of the newspaper. Last year, I really fell in love with journalistic photography when Mr. Thomas asked me to stay after school the day we had had a shooting at a house behind the school. He handed me the staff camera, and walked over to the scene of the crime with me. I could feel the adrenaline pumping into my blood, pulsing through my hands as I tried to hold the camera steady. We slipped into the taped off section for the press. I felt so important I almost actually belonged there. There were reporters from news stations and local newpapers, and I was threading through them to get the perfect shot. When the negatives came back everyone exclaimed over my pictures, and how good they were.. I wasnt that impressed. But Mr. Thomas helped me pick the best one to be printed. {as the year went on, he spent a lot of time at the light table with me, helping me pick photos. Im hoping Ill be cured of my self consciousness and be able to decide on the best photos faster this year otherwise well never get anything done.} Anyway, the picture I had taken of the shooting ended up being published on the front page of The Dart {our school newspaper} I dont think I had ever been so excited to see my name in print, Photo by Rachel Straughn Last week I was perpetually getting myself grubby crawling around places to get the perfect shot. My mom kept yelling at me for laying flat on my back in the dirt to take pictures of the sequoia trees, but it was the only way I could get the perfect angle. When we went to see the tide pools, I was wading around in them with my jeans rolled up to my knees, braving the dangerous crabs that were as big as my toe. Of course I had my camera with me, but I kept a careful eye on the waves coming up behind me so as not to get my beloved wet, and that night I carefully wiped off all the ocean salt. When we climbed up on Morro rock I wriggled into a tight crevice to get the perfect shot of the mountainous horizon framed by the crevice I was in. I cried when I left a roll of film on top of our van. { I had been standing up out of the sliding door shooting pictures of the mama bear and cubs that we saw.} It rolled off down into the valley. I was a little consoled when my dad told me it happens to every photographer. I got more than a little upset later in the week though, when my mom asked my dad to take some pictures of a waterfall instead of me, when I already had the camera. She said, Im sorry Rachel, you just shoot film like its water, and I dont want you to waste it. I think I got a little huffy after that. I love every part of photography, everything from the so-called mundane cropping photos to be put in the paper, or flipping through negatives to shooting the pictures themselves, or seeing my name in print. This is my dream. I want to be buried with my camera. Maybe theyll decoupage my casket with the pictures Ive taken with my view of the world. There have been many instances where I have wished I could show people the world in the way I see it, and with photography I can begin to do so. I only wish I could completely convey the emotions I feel or the things I remember when I see the images I capture. Perhaps someday I will be able to that. Perhaps someday I will be that talented. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 10,August,2003 | why is it that all of a sudden punk music is so depressing?? so won't you kill me? so I die happy... I still love that radiohead song though... {see the archives, from a couple weeks ago...} I seriously listened to it over and over and over again on the airplane... its weird how I get stuck on one song like that. definately not normal... {yeah, yeah... weirdo ;) } so a lot of stuff happened while I was gone that I wished I could have been here for, but that's ok, I'm home now... but now I feel unloved, Chantilly won't ever call me back, Sama's supposed to be home, but isn't when I call her... and Sean is incessantly mean to me... poor Rachel. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 09,August,2003 | Psychic spies from China Try to steal your mind s elation Little girls from Sweden Dream of silver screen quotations And if you want these kind of dreams Its Californication Its the edge of the world And all of western civilization The sun may rise in the East At least it settles in the final location Its understood that Hollywood sells Californication Pay your surgeon very well To break the spell of aging Celebrity skin is this your chin Or is that war your waging Chorus : First born unicorn Hard core soft porn Dream of Californication Dream of Californication Marry me girl be my fairy to the world Be my very own constellation A teenage bride with a baby inside Getting high on information And buy me a star on the boulevard Its Californication Space may be the final frontier But its made in a Hollywood basement Cobain can you hear the spheres Singing songs off station to station And Alderon s not far away Its Californication Born and raised by those who praise Control of population everybody s been there and I dont mean on vacation Chorus Destruction leads to a very rough road But it also breeds creation And earthquakes are to a girl s guitar Theyre just another good vibration And tidal waves couldn t save the world From Californication Pay your surgeon very well To break the spell of aging Sicker than the rest There is no test But this is what youre craving Chorus ~~~~~~~~~~~ Rodeo Drive... $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Legoland... Bobby San Diego Zoo... Pandas Sequoia National Park... HUGE trees, and a Mama black bear with two cubs Monteray Bay... Blue and Humpback Whales and some of the prettiest highway scenery I've ever seen Hearst Castle... Walked on gold leaf floors-- I wish I had that kind of money Ventura beach... sun, sun, sunburn {again} I missed you guys. I wish I could hang out with you all RIGHT NOW |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 01,August,2003 | Lucky 7-- California Girl I saw her about a month ago Long blonde hair and turned up nose Eyes shine like a diamond ring She looked at me and I gave her a smile Asked her if we could hang for a while & cruise in my caddy with me (chrous) 'Cause she's so fine And I wanna make her mine all i want is to see her with the Rag top down Starlit sky Pretty little blue gleam in her eyes, she's my California Girl Rag top down Starlit sky Pretty little blue gleam in her eyes She's my California Girl Summertime is always the best Hangin out chilling with my friends Drinkin' juice making memories But summertime will never be the same Until that smile falls on me again Do you know what she means to me (chrous) feelin' all alone dog with out a bone she fills me up fresh apple pie so warm inside she's all that i need ok well, my hair's not blonde, but when I get back in a week, I'll be a california girl too! lol, yeah I know, I'm a dork... but you know you'll miss me! :) |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 30,September,2003 | another sleepless night turns colors black and white twenty one days... I'm going back to curl up in bed. maybe I'll find away to make myself sleep. It doesn't really matter what I want. I want a lot of things. that doesn't mean that I get them, or that that is what's right. but who knows whats right anymore? do I care? |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 29,September,2003 | silence swinging by a thread to and fro and somehow the words echo before they are even spoken. it is raining now and I would sleep curled in a corner feeling grey and cobalt blue tears tremble unheard these are my silent tears you will not know such pain that crumbles my world. and my delicate iridescent orb of happiness is shattered again. bent hairpins remind me of that which cannot be, and my fingertips are bloodied, slit open by my own masochistic dreams and I wonder if you know what that means. do you? I might have told you, but now it is late, perhaps an eternity late too late, and whispered words pass away unheard, like the butterflies I loved too, butterflies and fireflies shattered with the green glass vase which is no longer green but blue a deep dark mourning cobalt blue |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 29,September,2003 | an infinate confusion begins the cracks in this green glass vase, that is no longer green, but blue, a deep dark, mourning cobalt blue. afterwards, the vase is shattered to pieces falling to pieces all over again and thats what you get this is what you're left with, the shattered pieces of my heart. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 28,September,2003 | do you know what I am thinking? I am thinking far away. away away away. maybe some where closer to where I want to be. maybe some thing closer to who I want to be. maybe some day closer to when I want to be. I want to be. I want to be some where some thing some day. I want to be great. I want to be magnificent. I want to be me, and I want to be who you want me to be. I want I want I want I need. some where some one some day. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 27,September,2003 | Chantele and Bobby and I all went to see Pirates of the Carribean last night. it was fun. I don't think my house has ever had that much alchol in it before. interesting.... P.S. no we didn't have a kegger while my parents were gone. hee hee. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 25,September,2003 | samarae00000 (8:13:02 PM): samarae00000 (8:13:10 PM): its a mousie samarae00000 (8:13:27 PM): it works better w/ a quiggly tail samarae00000 (8:13:38 PM): but this font goes samarae00000 (8:13:51 PM): hey it worked! samarae00000 (8:13:56 PM): thats the real mouse samarae00000 (8:14:14 PM): wait, samarae00000 (8:14:19 PM): that better samarae00000 (8:14:27 PM): the 3 is too big samarae00000 (8:14:35 PM): sigh I ran into the grocery store earlier, and they had the prettiest roses out. I love roses. and more Margaret Atwood: you might get it, and you might not, read it all ok?: 'And that is how we go on. He asks a question, and I say an answer...Before, every word that came out of my mouth was as if burnt onto paper, and once I said a thing I knew I could never get the words back; only they were the wrong words, because whatever I said would be twisted around, even if it was the plain truth in the first place... But now I feel as if everything I say is right. As long as I say something, anything at all... I feel as if he is drawing me; or not drawing me, drawing on me -drawing on my skin- not with a pencil, but with an old-fashioned goose pen, and not with the quill end but with the feather end. As if hundreds of butterflies have settled all over my face, and are softly opening and closing their wings. But underneath that is another feeling, a feeling of being wide-eyed awake and watchful. It's like being wakened suddenly in the middle of the night by a hand over your face, and you sit up with your heart going fast, and no one is there. And underneath that is another feeling still, a feeling of being torn open; not like a body of flesh, it is not painful as such, but like a peach; and not even torn open, but too ripe and splitting open of its own accord. and inside the peach there's a stone.' That's not really how I felt, it just reminded me of that. I'm much less dramatic about it. I think that's everything. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 24,September,2003 | Thom: Design Doctor urlLink Which Member from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is your type? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla hee hee. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 24,September,2003 | I blogged out on xanga... silly Rachel. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 23,September,2003 | I'm a genius. Why do I know random things like that? only guys are supposed to know about stuff like that... |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 22,September,2003 | So I'm kind of behind on recent events, but I really don't feel like typing out every thing that's happened in the past week or so... it hasn't exactly been a good week... I mean it CERTAINLY had its good moments, but in general, over all, I need a vacation... already. When's Thanksgiving? Ms. Dolan, my english teacher is kind of sad. She's really cute, and really funny, and she's only like 28 or so, but she's single, and she seems really unhappy, in general anyway... Today she was talking about how she has no life, and never goes out on weekends and stuff... and she has this way of twisting her claddagh ring around rather wistfully... {yes Chantele, I took mine off, and put the demon ring back on, just because you wanted me too... even though it doesn't really mean ANYTHING} anyway.. I think we should set Ms. Dolan up with someone, lol. oh, and I saw this old junky beat up sedan car with an NOS sticker on it... that made me laugh... {I can never remember what the s stands for though... its Nitrous Oxide systems? I dunno. maybe I'll go look it up.} |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 22,September,2003 | so I've been awake for two hours now. I'm not quite sure what's the matter with me... but I don't really mind being up... I like it quiet like this. and I like lying in bed, watching the waning moon cross the sky. I also like feeling empty, and not being hungry.... its not like being anarexic, that's not what I mean... I just like this feeling of emptiness, like if my stomach is empty, then I can be empty of everything else as well. lying awake, its kind of like anything I want to be real, can be... projected on to my ceiling or walls, or wrapped up in my sheets and pillows. my sweet dreams are waking night-dreams... and I don't want to sleep for fear of missing them. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 21,September,2003 | so I've been remembering how I used to be. How I woke up in the mornings with a horrible sickening lump in my stomach... how every day I wished that I didn't have to get up, that I could just stay there and not have to deal with the world, and the people in it. I kept promising myself that if I just stuck it through that eventually everything would be all right. I had dreams of someday so distant that I knew they wouldn't come true. I was suffocating, drowning, dying away. but then somewhere I found the strength to swim to shore, I was safe again. and I'm so happy now, I love how things are now. I can't get enough of everyday. And there are a few people who mean so much to me, thank you, for everything. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 20,September,2003 | hee hee... its raining!!!!!! |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 20,September,2003 | Butterflies are so pretty. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 19,September,2003 | Jimmy Eat World-- My Sundown I see it around me, I see it in everything. I could be so much more than this. I said my goodbye's this is my sundown. I'm gonna be so much more than this. With one hand high, you'll show them your progress. You'll take your time, but no one cares. No one cares. I need you to show me the way from crazy. I wanna be so much more than this. With one hand high, you'll show them your progress. You'll take your time, but no one cares. With one hand high, you'll show them your progress. You'll take your time, but no one cares. No one cares. I could be so much more than this. No one cares. I wanna be so much more than this. No one cares. I could be so much more than this. No one cares. I wanna be so much more than this. No one cares. I wanna be so much more than this. No one cares. I wanna be so much more than this. Good goodbye lovely time. Good goodbye tin sunshine. Good goodbye I'll be fine. Good goodbye, good goodnight. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 18,September,2003 | So I'm reading Margaret Atwood again... 'Out of the gravel there are peonies growing They come up through the loose grey pebbles, their buds testing the air like snails' eyes, then swelling and opening, huge dark red flowers all shining and glossy like satin. Then the burst and fall to the ground.' 'If I am good enough and quiet enough, perhaps after all they will let me go; but it's not easy being quiet and good, it's like hanging on to the edge of a bridge when you've already fallen over; you don't seem to be moving, just dangling there, and yet it it taking all your strength.' --Alias Grace for other margaret atwood quotes see: June 6 and Jan 17 |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 17,September,2003 | So, I've been being really bad lately. I've been saying things about people behind their backs, and I really shouldn't do that. I'm being snotty and 'clique-y'. Mandy doesn't even consider me a friend any more because I've shoved her aside so many times to do stuff with Sama and Chantilly... Alison Jaros has really been getting on my nerves with newspaper and stuff but still, I shouldn't talk about her either... I was teasing Chantele today about not having anybody to sit with since Sama and I had psat prep, and she was like... I have other friends... I'm not as picky as you are about the people I hang out with... so maybe as much as I try not to judge people, or snub any one... I'm really bad about it. That really bugs me when I realize stuff like that. I don't want to be a bad person. On a different note... I was talking to Mr. Thomas about my photo column for the newspaper today, and he was like...'We need to figure out a good way to display the photographical genius you'll be showcasing this year...' and I burst out laughing, and he was like... 'I'm not laughing... I'm serious.' That made me feel really good. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 17,September,2003 | I told my chemistry teacher that I haven't been sleeping much lately, and she was like, ' Rachel, that's bad!. It's only the third week of school, and if you're already so stressed out that you can't sleep... you need help. You need to go take a yoga class or something... and learn how to sleep at night.' I think I really am stressed out. List of things I need to remember/have to deal with: Chemistry test tomorrow Latin test Monday Photo Editor Duties -shoot center spread pictures... how do I get parents checking up on their kids if I can't use my friends?? -shoot my photo column -shoot internet piracy/are you addicted to the internet pictures -collect photo assignment sheets -keep track of what film goes where -keep track of who's shooting what story -make sure pictures are decent -scan all pictures into the computer -become queen of photoshop -make film canister labels continuing on... Church Duties -Thursday night rehearsals for cantoring -youth group -youth minister hiring committee -lector/eucharistic minister... {crap I have to go to a retraining session tomorrow night!} -volunteer babysitter every tuesday night. -liturgy planning piano lessons every Monday night practice piano at least 30 min a day {YEAH RIGHT!!!!!} an average of 2-3 hours of homework every night does my car have gas? ...if I make the play {fingers crossed, but not getting hopes up} PSAT prep class darkroom class? ...friends {aka sanity} family {ack!} eat/sleep {Heh, heh} liturgy planning committee at school {Where do I find TRACY HADEN?????} um... St. Roberts stuff... I need to start practicing the music for the Oct. Contemp. Mass ... and that's just all of the stuff off the top of my head... I think I'm a little overbooked, what about you? oh... and I forgot stuff like HAVING A LIFE!!!!!! and also add to that the fact that I memorized a 1min 30sec monologue over night monday... I'm meeting Allison during my free tomorrow to go through the newspapers negatives from last year... club registration is Friday, and I want to be president of Photography club I need to figure out what I'm wearing to Cindy's wedding... {I'm doing the guest book!} homecoming is in four weeks... I need to start putting my portfolio together if I want to go to college the NPDA is coming Oct. 25 {Saturday} and I need to memorize the metric system by tomorrow... {except I think I've got most of that done.} and my allergies are killing me and I'm exhausted. I hope I live to see twenty. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 15,September,2003 | Today was a crazy day. Ms. Dunlay yelled at me, and you know how I get when people yell at me. Then I had to sit there and let people take my picture. I despise picture day...{unphotogenic...ehem...} I'm so incredibly tired... maybe if I slept every now and then... mmm... hee hee... I'm watching the black and white Nancy Drew... from like 1936... the guy just said 'gee that's swell...' lol. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 14,September,2003 | for some reason, I find that disturbing.... |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 13,September,2003 | lets play this game. what random word did I type into google to get all these pictures? |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 11,September,2003 | Notes on yesterday: I'm not sure you even noticed. I just can't. oh wow. obsessive compulsive {Smack!} indecisive? of course. So that was me being vague... and now I can tell you what happened... I went home with Chantele, and then Ben and Sean came over, and the four of us hung out... nothing TOO terribly exciting. For some reason I have a tendency to sit in a corner and watch in situations like that. {which isn't really like me... I don't think. Unless I've been lying to myself about who I am for the past four years.} I think it might have something to do with the competition thing... taking myself out of the contest I don't want to be in... That is not one I have any desire to win. not that its bad... just not right, right now. I don't think I'm making any sense. I'm going to go take a shower. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 11,September,2003 | You know what's really bad? When its only the second week of school, and you're already so stressed out about school that you intentionally go to the library and get really dorky, girly books about dorky girly teenage girls... who are dorky and girly {get the point?} and always have adorable boyfriends, and do the most dorky girly things that are so stupid you laugh out loud in your bedroom all by yourself, when really you should be doing your chem lab instead of reading dorky girly books... and now, I'm going to go attempt to go finish my chem lab... or maybe study for the Latin test? |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 10,September,2003 | I am fully and completely exhausted. Its a really good thing I have a late start tomorrow. I think I'm going to go take a brief nap, and do my chem lab until Chantele calls me and tells me what the crap is going on tomorrow. {I want to tell you something... I wish you already knew... but I don't know where to begin.} |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 10,September,2003 | |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 09,September,2003 | Well, I am an official Catholic, on my own now. I have recieved the Holy Spirit... THough I kind of feel like its been a summer long process... I've made I lot of decisions this summer that I could feel God guiding me through. so yeah. I'm confirmed now. My forehead is oily. lol |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 08,September,2003 | beyond my wants... beyond my fears... what is this that I fear? what is this that terrifies me so? why so many questions? yes, yet another, ironic isn't it? the walls of my head are a prison. my thoughts prisioners, held injustly, against their will. and with no crime no charge against them at all. so many questions? that curve and a final dot it mocks me. ? and for some reason some reason {what reason?} I know that this is good. {though I may not be.} This is it this is now. oh, but whatever happened to yesterday? and when shall I wonder about this yesterday which is now? so today was weird, I was in an incredibly good mood this morning... {maybe I just happened to start it out right} but you know, having the homework piled on doesn't exactly keep your spirits up. I did have a little brownie for breakfast today, but I guess it wasn't enough, because I really couldn't stand up right all day without blacking out... I was so close to falling over on the stairs, and there were a ton of people behind me, that would have been really bad. So I just kept walking, which is always good. I just got back from getting my new outfit for confirmation, and I got really excited because I actually fit in a size five pair of pants!!!!!!!! Because before, my hips were too wide... anyway, I'm sure you really wanted to know what size pants I can fit into now... horribly enriching content I've got on this site, huh? |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 07,September,2003 | well, I really cried today... violent sobs, yeah all that... it was really bad. Then I had to go to the grocery store all gross and splotchy... That's what kind of a day it was... all gross and splotchy... I still feel gross.... once again though, nothing I do is ever good enough. I'm never quite what I should be. I'm never who you need me to be. I am a miserable failure. I shouldn't have eaten dinner, I knew I wasn't hungry. I did get to talk to Sean for a little while though, a little bit of an escape. Then I had confirmation rehearsal... Those people bug me so much... all those guys I went to grade school with... yeah, the kind of guys that after they look at you, you want to go run and take a shower... so then I felt even more gross... but I talked to Kevin for a while... about how he cut my shoe laces off in first grade... lol. but yeah, so now I'm going to go take my shower, and then maybe I won't feel so gross. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 06,September,2003 | Goodnight, I'm going to bed, to see if I can sleep this off. otherwise, I might do something drastic. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 05,September,2003 | I need to escape from my house... will you come kidnap me? please? I'll tie my sheets together, and I can climb out my window, and then we can go sit out in the middle of nowhere and look at mars, k? |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 05,September,2003 | Ok, so I'm getting really sick of my parents freaking out every time I want to do something. I wanted to see Sean this weekend, but my mom decided that I already had too much to do, and I haven't seen Sean for almost two weeks, which isn't fun. and then I asked if I could go out with the St. Robert's people for a couple of hours, and I was going to be home before 8:30, and they still made the huge deal of it, and yelled at me and stuff. I'm really getting sick of it. I'm sixteen years old, and I do have a life, whether or not my parents like it. and I want to live it!!!!!!!!! Chantele... we're all doing something next weekend. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 05,September,2003 | |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 04,September,2003 | |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 04,September,2003 | urlLink read my profound xanga entry I'm getting paranoid that people really honestly don't like me. I'm not really so sure, but I just get this vibe that people just don't like how peppy I can be sometimes, how I'm always happy/smiling... I think I lot of people think I'm a 'poser' too... when I'm really not... I'm not 'punk' I don't have bracelets all the way up to my elbows or anything, but I really like a lot of punk music, and a LOT of my friends are 'punk' but I'm definately not a 'prep' either... I dunno, I just get really dirty looks some times from people like Marcy and Rose, who are both people that I think are very interesting... but I think they both hate me.... I dunno. And Sarah was talking about my 'giddy-ness' again today... ugh. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 04,September,2003 | can you tell my brain is fried today, and I'm bored, so I'm coming up with random things to post? First best friend(s):Ryan... he was my next door neighbor First real memory of something: I think its riding our big wheels down the hill we used to live on a break neck speeds... First car: my lil' white mazda First date: um...well... that depends... First real kiss: oh... First job: working at my dad's office First screen name: um, I think it was the one my dad came up with for me... Im4vball? First self purchased album: um... I can't remember, First funeral: My great-grandma elsie I think First pet: Oscar and Grungetta the oscar fish First piercing/tattoo: my ears First house/flat/apartment: when I was born, we moved into a duplex, then our old house a couple months later First credit card: um First true love: um First enemy: Ashley Williamson First big trip: we went to Disney World when I was four. First play/musical/performance:I was the great thanksgiving turkey spirit in third grade. First musician you remember hearing in your house: the beatles & Lasts Last car ride: home from St. Roberts Last kiss: I'm avoiding these questions. Last good cry: sometime in July I think Last library book checked out: photography books Last movie seen: lol, some disney movie Last cuss word uttered: crap Last beverage drank: diet vanilla coke Last food consumed: tortilla Last crush: ...well, I'd have to say Sean... Last phone call: I'm about to call Sean... Last tv show watched: I don't have time for that nonsense Last time showered: last night, but i'm bout to take another one Last shoes worn: nikes Last cd played: sugarcult .:surprise:. Last item bought: food Last annoyance: Chantele, duh? Last disappointment: ...... Last soda drank: diet vanilla coke last ice cream eaten: vanilla bean w/ chocolate syrup last time scolded: for my $188 phonne bill last shirt worn: baby blue polo last webpage visited: xanga |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 02,September,2003 | hmmmmmmmmmm......................? You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never knows what you're going to come up with next; this creates great excitement and arousal never knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end in a kiss as great as your mystery. urlLink What kind of kiss are you? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla that's odd... |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 02,September,2003 | Today was a good day. I somehow managed to remember how to conjugate verbs into future tense in Latin, and after school I went in to talk to Mr. Thomas about photography, and showed him some of my pictures, and he really liked them. He was like, 'These are REALLY great Rachel.' {take THAT silent bob} Mr. Thomas has sort of become my photography mentor. He wants me to come in a couple nights after school so he can show me how to use Photoshop, and he's going to help me put together my portfolio for the NPDA thing. I always feel so much better about my photography after I talk to him, and he always gets me so excited about it. and my mom's going to sign me up for darkroom classes at the community college!!!!!!!!!! I did get kind of depressed listening to Chantele talk about her art stuff today... its kinda hard to explain though. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 02,September,2003 | I think I am an insomniac G_G |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 02,September,2003 | Interesting conversation I had today: Sarah was talking about how Chandler didn't seem her usual perky self today, and then she said, 'well, but then again, nobody's very perky today... except for you Rachel, you're always perky. I think you have an extra organ inside you that manufactures your caffiene for you.' and I said, 'Wow, I must be really annoying then if I'm really that hyper all of the time...' ' Well, I'm not really around you that much, so its just kind of nice, you make me smile, but if I were around you all the time it might get kind of annoying.' Does that mean I need to tone myself down a little bit? I don't want to be annoying. oh, and just in case you were wondering, my first day of school went very well compared to how I thought it was going to go. I hope tomorrow is better though, since I have all the good classes tomorrow. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 01,September,2003 | |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 01,September,2003 | Good Morning... did you know that its easier to sleep until eleven when its cloudy and the sun doesn't come up shining right in your window? |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 30,October,2003 | So its that same question I've been asking since I was old enough to have my own identity {about third grade} Who am I really? and who do I want to be? Do I want to be the person I know people want me to be? because I want other people to be happy, and so I will be who I am to make them so? Do I want to be the person I know my parents want me to be? Do I want to be sweet and innocent? Do I want to be strong and powerful? Can I be both? Do I want to be the person that can be depended on to always say 'Yes'? Do I want to be the one people feel protective of, and be 'babied' to a point? Do I want to be the one who is wildly successful, though has given up every thing else to be so? WHO DO I WANT TO BE? WHO AM I NOW? am I who I've heard people think I am? Am I really the one who, {supposedly} when my best friend is having her first child, will be in the amazon, connected by cell phone yelling support? Am I the graceful beauty some people say I am, {though I see things quite differently}? Am I as 'good' as I've heard others say? {I know I'm not.} Am I catty and mean? Am I a fraud? Am I just a brilliant pretender, so good I've even fooled myself? Am I worth all the trouble? Am I a horribly irresponsible child? a slacker? lazy bum {lol, yes}? Am I really who you think I am? Who is that? Am I someone? Anybody at all? Who am I in relationship to this world I live in? in relationship to the God I praise? In relationship to myself? |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 29,October,2003 | So I had another revelation while I was driving with the radio off tonight. I was think about how we're supposed to be able to see the Aurora tonight, and I thought that would be the coolest thing ever to be able to see, I decided that I am meant to see all these amazing things that God has made, and that I just have this longing in the depths of my soul to see every miracle in this world that there is to see, and that I should do so... I just don't know how my catholic faith fits in with all that... its not like I can go to mass on sunday when I'm out in the ocean, or in the middle of Cambodia or something. I'm sure it'll all work itself out by the time I actually get there. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 26,October,2003 | I want for everything to just be fine for a while. I want to not be yelled at every time I come out of my stupid room, I want to know that's its ok that I want to do what I want to do, I want to not have to drag myself out of bed to go to school, I want to just get up, and be excited to go, but I'm not. I want to not have to think about anything for while, but there's always something... and if there's not, then I'll make up something. I want to sleep through a whole night. I want to be warm. I want to feel safe. I want to not have to worry about other people. I want to know what you're thinking. I want to know if you really mean it. I want to just chill out for a while. I can't wait for NCYC. I need to go away from here, and be with people who don't know who I am and don't know all my problems, and with whom I can be who ever I want. and I won't have to worry about what anybody thinks of me. not even my parents, or my best friends. I feel so encumbered right now. I want to be set free. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 22,October,2003 | So yesterday I went to the Kansas City Art Institute to have my portfolio reviewed, and I think it went really well. Milwaukee and Cincinnati both really liked my work, but they said I need to start drawing... so I suppose I'm going to start drawing... UGH! Albany tried to accept me right on the spot, which was kind of cool, and then I was like... uh, I'm a JUNIOR. so they changed their mind. The lady from the art institute of chicago didn't like my conventional photography though, she liked the work I had done with my altered book... So it was a very learning experience for me, and I'll be ready for this when it comes around again next year. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 22,October,2003 | ARG! oh look, I have 705 hits... that's a lot, though not considering how long I've had that counter up. I <3 Brittany Cummings. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 21,October,2003 | So, yeah, now I'VE copied it... but I need to save it, because I think its something I should read every now and again. oh, and eventually I promise I'll catch up on everything that's happened... Teresian, etc... Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you hadn't? or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own....when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 20,October,2003 | Are you gonna live your life wonderin' standing in the back lookin' around? Are you gonna waste your time thinkin' how you've grown up or how you missed out? Things are never gonna be the way you want. Where's it gonna get you acting serious? Things are never gonna be quite what you want. Or even at 25, you gotta start sometime. I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go. Now all I need is just to hear a song I know. I wanna always feel like part of this was mine. I wanna fall in love tonight. Are you gonna live your life standing in the back looking around? Are you gonna waste your time? Gotta make a move or you'll miss out. Someone's gonna ask you what it's all about. Stick around nostalgia won't let you down. Someone's gonna ask you what it's all about. Whatcha gonna have to say for yourself? I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go. Now all I need is just to hear a song I know. I wanna always feel like part of this was mine. I wanna fall in love tonight. Crimson and clover, over and over. Crimson and clover, over and over. Our house in the middle of the street, why did we ever meet? Started my rock 'n roll fantasy. Don't don't, don't let's start, why did we ever part? Kick start my rock 'n rollen heart. I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go. So come on Davey, sing me somethin' that I know. I wanna always feel like part of this was mine. I wanna fall in love tonight. Here tonight. I wanna always feel like part of this was mine I wanna fall in love tonight. So apparently this is the song of the week. It's been stuck in my head since Saturday, and it keeps popping up places. It seems to shove everything that I've been trying to ignore since June or so back in my face. Are you gonna waste your time thinkin' how you've grown up or how you missed out? and I can't pretend that nothing ever happened anymore. Everything that happened with Andrew is over, I have no regrets for being with him as long as I was, and I have no regrets about leaving him when I did. But a heart that has been shredded to pieces and scattered to the ends of the earth is not easily healed. Stick around nostalgia won't let you down. I am so happy where I am now, all the pieces fit together, I no longer have a stone around my neck... But I still have that thought in the back of mind, that once, I did have that stone around my neck, and I know how very easy it would be to get it back. I wanna fall in love tonight. Sean means the world to me, and we have so much fun together, I wouldn't want to give that up for anything. but I'm so desperately afraid, and I can't even imagine Sean putting me through some of the things that happened before, and I really do trust him... but my heart is scarred, and the walls that I thought had been broken down before almost seem stronger than ever. I want to believe they're not, I want to believe that I have learned what a beautiful thing love can be... but I'm afraid to test it. I don't want to question anything. I want to accept things at face value, and believe that beauty {in this form called love anyway} is only skin deep. BUT I KNOW BETTER. Gotta make a move or you'll miss out. Someone's gonna ask you what it's all about. I know that nothing can stay the same forever, people change and evolve... Chantele's figuring that out right now. I know that I'm not going to stay the same and things will change. I have to take charge of my life, and stop this... I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go. So come on Davey, sing me somethin' that I know. I wanna always feel like part of this was mine. I wanna fall in love tonight. Here tonight. I wanna always feel like part of this was mine I wanna fall in love tonight. so perhaps we'll see... |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 16,October,2003 | 'It's dark as a stone in this room, and hot as a roasting heart; if you atare into the darkness with your eyes open you are sure to see something after a time. I hope it will not be flowers. But this is the time they like to grow, the red flowers, the shining red peonies which are like satin, which are like splashes of paint. THe soil for them is emptiness, it is empty space, and silence. I whisper, Talk to me; because I would rather have talking than the slow gardening that takes place in silence, with the red satin petals dripping down the wall. I think I sleep... ...Here I come, I am coming now. You never obey me, you never do what I say, you dirty girl. Now you will have to be punished. It is not my fault. What can I do now, where can I turn? You must unlock the door, you must open the window, you must let me in. Oh look, oh look at all the spilt petals, what have you done? I think I sleep... ...On the palm of my hand there's a disaster. I must have been born with it. I carry it with me wherever I go. When he touched me, the bad luck came off on him. I think I sleep... ...When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered flass and splintered wood; like a house in a whirlwind. or else a boat crushed by the icebergs or swept over the rapids, and all aboard powerless to stop it. It's only afterwards that it becomes anything like a story at all. When you are telling it, to yourself, or to someone else.' --Alias Grace, Margaret Atwood. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 13,October,2003 | I'm having one of those nights. God is talking to me. I was driving to the grocery store, and I was playing some music, and was concentrating really hard on driving because it was raining pretty hard, and then I remembered our theme at school this year... 'Presence' and in talking about this theme, we've come up with different ways to apply this... Stopping and listening to others, or being present to them; presence of mind in class; or the Presence of God. and we keep coming back to the idea of silence as well. Like taking the time to turn off the music and listen to what God is saying to you. So while I was driving, I turned off the radio, and cleared my mind... well, other than focusing on the road anyway... and was thinking about how our church has just hired a new youth minister, which I'm very excited about, and praying that this is what is best for our church, and then I started thinking about how much my church activities mean to me. There are two things in life that I'm passionate about. Photography, and God. {that sounds funny, doesn't it?} and then I started thinking about what I want to do with my life. I want so badly to be a photojournalist at National Geographic, and travel around the world, and see everything there is to see. and in the past, I have applied this to my faith in the idea that I would be opening up the wonders of God's world to everyone. and that I would be able to help people less fortunate etc. etc. but I also think I might have a vocation to the Church. Probably not like religious life or anything {though I haven't ruled it out.. but I like kids too much I think} but I think I would be a really good youth minister, and I have the talents for it, and I love every minute of what I'm doing now. Just like I love every minute I spend behind a camera. So something has come to distract me from my life's focus. And God put it there. So now what do I do? |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 13,October,2003 | I am bored. therefore: Name Four Things That You Wish You Had: 1. a personal secretary to type my Women's Theology paper for me. 2. um... obviously I don't want a lot. 3. I must be as weird as people think I am... HOW CAN I NOT WANT ANYTHING? 4. oh, I know... I want someone to write a song about me. lol. Name Four Things You Would never wear 1. real fur. yucky yucky yucky 2. black lipstick. that's yucky too. 3. wow, I'm being really uncreative today 4. a barrel, like in those old movies when the gross old guys get their clothes stolen from them. Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now: 1. last night... :-) 2. my women's theology paper 3. newspaper 4. my dad... I want to go visit a mushroom farm! Name Four Things That You Have Done Today: 1. slept 2. went to church. 3. read my book, its taking me forever to finish this book, I swear!. 4. homework... yuck Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought: 1. gas 2. hairspray 3. Sean's boutineer {HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT WORD?} 4. groceries {I don't think my mom should be allowed to send me to the grocery store to buy hot dogs, since I am anti-eating hot dogs.} Name Four Bands/Groups Most People Don't Know You Like: 1. hmmm... I like spoon. 2. hee hee, System of a Down is fun too, {though I don't actually have any of their songs burned or anything, I think my parents would worry about me if I did} 3. Relient K 4. oh, and Watashi Wa... seriously, download their stuff, its great. Name Four Bad Habits You Have: 1. being mean to Chantele. I'm trying really hard to stop, its gotten pretty bad. 2. being disorganized, and procrastinating. 3. being racist against the blonde jocks at school. lol, or so london says. 4. not sleeping. Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink: 1. water... clear cool water..{was that a commercial or something once? a commercial for water? hmmm...} 2. mountain dew... even though it makes me fat. I need to get a hold of some diet md... its better anyway. 3. um... apple juice yum. 4. and white grape peach juice, even though my mom only buys it when its on sale... its still my favorite. X- Last Song You Sang?: I'm singin along to Monday right now! {someday I'm going to make a list of the bands named after days of the week.} X- Last Person You Hugged?: Sean. X- Last Thing You Laughed At?: talking to Sean on the phone earlier... X- Last Time You Said 'I Love You' And Meant It?: ' ' X- Last Time You Cried?: its been a while... probably when my mom yelled at me the other night. X- What's In Your CD Player?: rachmanioff themes on paganini... it makes me happy. X- What Color Socks Are You Wearing?: MY FEET ARE NAKED!!! OH DEAR!! X- What's Under Your Bed?: I don't think we want to know. but probably some shoes and other mysterious sustances. X- What Time Did You Wake Up Today?: I think my dad called around 8:30 X- Current Hair?: ponytail... with my lil' medusa hairs coming out... X- Current Clothes?: jeans and a blue polo sorta shirt. X- Current Annoyance? I have to go babysit in about fifteen minutes. X- Current Desktop Picture?: a cool black and white photo I found on the net... it was the pope before that...lol. X- Current Worry?: tomorrow is monday. X- Current Hate?: me, pretty much... I'm pretty fed up with me...I want to be someone else for a while, k? X- Favorite Place To Be?: curled up my bed. or... well, yeah. X- Least Favorite Place?: in a trash can... don't ask, I'm really sleepy right now. X- If You Could Play An Instrument?: I would play it. kind a like I play the piano, or my violin. X- Favorite Color?: indigo X- How Tall Are You?: 5'7' X- Favorite Season?: fall, though not the going back to school part. X- One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To?: Emma. or me when I was five years old. I was a cool kid then. X- Favorite Day?: my birthday. maybe... I like halloween too, even though I don't have a costume for this year, which makes me really sad. I wanted to make my Eowyn dress, but now I don't have time. X- Where Would You Like To Go?: four and a half weeks from now I will be headed for houston Yeah baby. X- A Random Lyric: 'wha hoo hoo!!!!!' X- Body: builder? X- Do you have straight or crooked teeth?: straight. braces, third grade to eighth, five very long years. X- What color are your eyes?: I don't think anyones ever really definately decided what color my eyes are, they're blueish greenish grayish pink... lol. X- Do you enjoy your hair style?: thoroughly. X- Are your nails bitten or long?: somewhere in the middle... I only bite them when I am really self conscious... abnormally self conscious I mean... Favorites: X- icecream?: the good kind of vanilla... like breyers. X- Singer(s): ME! just kidding. um I dunno X- Body part: eyes... I like eyes. windows to the soul. X- Actor: I don't know either, I have to leave soon X- Outfit: my uniform..sad isn't it? X- Person to be around: someone.. X- Friend: sama and chantilly X- Color: I already answered this. It was indigo. X- Food: pasta, yum. Which One: X- Pool or lake: pool X- Snow or thunderstorm: thunderstorm X- Time alone or with friends?: with friends, I get myself in trouble when I'm alone. X- Black or Blue: Blue X- Cats or dogs: dogs. X- Travel or stay home: Travel. I want to see the world. Random Questions: X- Do you get mad suddenly?: sadly I'm pretty docile. X- Do you act perfect?: yes, I am perfect. X- Where are you from? Kansas City. X- Have you ever smoked pot? no, though someone who shall not be named came up and shoved some in my face the other day, scared me to death, I was like OO, am I going to get arrested??? {jk} X- Have you ever done a body shot? what's that? X- Have you ever had a body shot done off of you?: I must be a poor innocent little girl who doesn't know anything. X- Ever stolen something?: of course not. X- Liked a girl/guy who didnt like you?: actually I've been pretty lucky since I've been in high school, but in middle school... ugh. Would You: X- Lick a fishtank?: for a hundred bucks. X- Smoke a cigar?: ditto. X- Try out for cheerleading?: heavens no, I may be peppy, but I'm not that peppy... ok maybe I am, but I still wouldn't. X- Audition for a movie?: if it was star wars or lord of the rings. X- What is the color of your room? sage green X- Do you have personal pictures on the walls? yeah, my photos. X- Did your parents let you pick out the colors of your room? sort of, it was between that and beige... who would pick beige? SERIOUSLY. X- Do you have magazine clippings taped to the walls: on my closet door. X- What are all the posters in your room? my corcoran focus on Photojournalism camp poster. X- How many windows are in your room? 2 X- Do you have a TV and VCR?.:sigh:. no X- Do you have a CD player? its my best friend X- Do you share your room with anyone else? no, but I have to share my bathroom... yuck X- Are you allowed to have food and drinks in your room? no. X- Is your room where you spend most of your time? unless I'm at the computer. X- What's your favorite thing about your room? my bed..mmm.. X- If you could change one thing about your room, what would it be? X- Do you have a desk in your room? yes but I don't use it as a desk, I use my dressing table as my desk X- Do you always do your homework on that desk? NO. X- Do you have a phone in your room? my cell phone and house phone, except when I'm grounded. X- What kind of phone is it? see above.. X- Do you have stuffed animals in your room? yeah I like stuffed animals, that's what everyone should buy me for my birthday, lol, just kidding, they attract dust... or so my parents would say. X- Any Porcelain Dolls? there's one in my closet. X- What color is your carpet? whitish... X- Do you have a mirror in your room? yeah, my dressing table, and my mirror over my sink, and the one on the wall... that makes me sound really vain doesn't it... I JUST LOVE LOOKING AT MYSELF, oh my. X- What do you dislike about your room? its a mess. X- What Poster would you like on your wall? National Geographic maps. X- Do you have a pet or plant in your room? I have cactuses... X- What kind of bed do you have? four poster... some times it has a canopy, when I feel like it. X- What is the color of your bedspread? green and blue and pink plaid. X- Is your room usually clean? goodness no X- What do you like best about yourself, emotionally?: I try and be pretty happy all the time. X- What do you like best about yourself, physically?: mmm. X- Do you bathe in the mornings?: when I need to wake up. X- Do you bathe in the evenings?: sometimes. X- How many times, in a week, would you say you've washed yourself?: uh.. what does that entail exactly? X- Do you flex in the mirror?: oh yeah. X- Do you like the cold?: That depends on whether or not there is someone there to warm me up. X- Does fall smell different to you?: YES! I love that smell, its my favorite. X- Are you more happy, than not?: yes, I wasn't last year, but I am now. X- Have you ever been hit before?: Mandy likes to punch me. X- Did it hurt?: I have bruises. X- How often do you swear?: no I never really picked up those words in my vocab. X- How often do you swear at other people?: pretty much never. X- How does this make you feel?: this makes me feel shpecshial.. X- Are you on some kind of medication?: allergy medicine.. X- Do you think you need it?: NO, my mom keeps making me take it though. X- Right now, who/what do you feel like hugging?: somebody. X- Name 3 songs you'd listen to right now: -island in the sun-weezer -something by the riddlin kids. -um... or something by MxPx, or maybe I wouldn't, nevermind... don't ask. X- What is your favorite noise?: crickets. X- What is your favorite word?: there are so many... X- What is your least favorite noise?: screechy violins X- Least favorite word?: greasy when people say it wrong... like greezie... THAT'S GROSS!. X- Least favorite color?: pink. X- Do you value your friends?: probably not as much as I should X- Do you value your family?: ditto. X- Do you value your stuff?: some of it, like my camera. X- Do you self-mutilate?: hee hee, masochistic ring. X- Do other people mutilate you?: what does this mean?. X- Do you mutilate other people ?: its my favorite hobby... or not.. X- Have you ever been beaten up before?: no... X- Have you ever beaten anyone else up before?: no... X- What's your favorite animal?: PANDAS. X- What's your favorite dessert?: something yummy, like Tirimisu.. or however you spell it.. X- People most often refer to you as: Rachel, or Rae Rae. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 12,October,2003 | I'm in the best mood today... and I had a lot of fun last night. Sean came and picked me up around six, and then we went back to his house and had dinner... then we went to the dance, but we only stayed there for like an hour, and went back to his house, changed our clothes, and went over to Alex's house, and there were a bunch of people from HYU there... Then we went back to Sean's house AGAIN, and stayed there till my mom came and got me. ok, so I suppose it doesn't really sound like fun, but it was... I promise. This morning I got up and went to church, and saw lots of people I know, Cindy was there and was telling me about her wedding... That day is going to be a full day, I'm going to the Kansas City Art institute for a portfolio review... {UGH! that's so scary} and that goes till four, and I'm supposed to be back for her wedding by four... and then there's the reception, and then Sean's parish is having a lockin that I'm hoping I can go to. any way, and then on the way home from church, I was sitting at a stop light behind a mini van, and this really good song came on the radio {I don't even remember what it was} but I was singing along, having fun, playing the drums on the steering wheel etc. lol, and I look up, and can see the guy driving the mini van in front of me watching me in his rear view mirror, and then like four kids in the back seat all turn around to look at me... it was really fun, I laughed pretty much all the rest of the way home... I'm such a dork... I don't want to go to school tomorrow. but our first issue of The Dart is coming out Thursday, so I've got lots of work to do. I'm going to have to stay after monday and tuesday to get it all finished... but that's ok, it'll be fun. I'm craving a grossly fat huge chipotle burrito. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 11,October,2003 | ...too much to do |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 08,October,2003 | |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 07,October,2003 | I think I'm having an identity crisis. I feel like I don't quite fit where I did before. I'm growing out of my old self, and some parts of my life are growing and changing with me, and some parts aren't. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm growing up. Like tonight, I went and interviewed someone for a job. I , at sixteen years old, am making decisions like who my parish should hire for what jobs. I'm not quite sure that's normal. and I'm taking on normal high school responsibilities, like photo editor, prez of the photo club, liturgy committee, study groups. Then there's normal school work... believe me, taking eight difficult classes is NO FUN. Then there's always church stuff. and I'm doing double time on that, juggling St. John's and St. Robert's. and I'm really worried about Kate and Elizabeth, and I have two homecomings back to back {not that I'm not horribly excited, because I am, its just a lot of work.}, and THEN there's Cindy's wedding, and maybe a lockin. AND I might have to go to O'Hara tomorrow night. AAAAAAAAAAAAH!. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 07,October,2003 | I feel discombobulated. and that same old sick to my stomach fear is coming back. why am I so scared? I'm happy-go-lucky, and nothing daunts me... then why am I so terrified of that which is apparently nothing????????? |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 05,October,2003 | I'm getting kind of excited about NCYC. ...a month and a week away... or something like that. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 04,October,2003 | I have way too much to do this weekend. And I really don't want to do any of it. I kinda want to go haunted housing with St. Roberts tonight, but I'm pretty sure I don't have time. I was supposed to sing at the contemporary mass this weekend at St. Roberts, but when I went up there Thursday night, Mary Mueller was there talking to the NCYC chaperones... so I guess I missed practice, and I have to sing at noon mass on sunday anyway, so this is a good thing. I'm SO out of every loop I'm supposed to be in. ugh. |
1,103,575 | female | 17 | indUnk | Scorpio | 01,October,2003 | I want to go... Enjoy an ALL-BEETHOVEN program as... Lied Center Swarthout Chamber Music Series, Commerce Bank and The Commerce Trust Company present TAKACS QUARTET Sunday, October 12, 2:00 p.m. The Lied Center concert will include the following works: String Quartet, Op. 18, No. 1; String Quartet Op. 74, 'Harp'; and String Quartet, Op. 130 with Finalerepresenting the early, middle and later periods of Beethovens life. (The ensemble last performed at the Lied Center in February 2001.) Current quartet members are Edward Dusinberre, violin; Kroly Schranz, violin; Roger Tapping, viola; and Andrs Fejr, cello. This renowned ensemble was formed by Gabor Takcs-Nagy, Kroly Schranz, Gabor Ormai and Andrs Fejr in 1975, while all four were students at Budapests Liszt Academy. It first received international attention in 1977, winning First Prize and the Critics Prize at the International String Quartet Competition in Evian, France. The quartet made its North American debut tour in 1982, and has appeared regularly in major music capitals and prestigious festivals. The quartet signed an exclusive recording contract with Decca/London in 1988, and has since recorded works by Haydn, Mozart, Brahms, Bartk, Schubert, Dvork, Borodin, Smetana and Chausson. The first volume of the Takcs Quartets Beethoven Cycle (middle quartets) was released in May 2002, received the Gramophone 2002 Chamber Music Recording of the Year Award, and Grammy Award nominations for Best Classical Album and Best Chamber Music Performance. Volume two (early quartets) of the Beethoven cycle will be released in fall 2003, and the final volume of the late quartets is scheduled to appear in early 2005. Running Time(s): Beethoven, String Quartet, Op. 18, No. 1 in F major (25 minutes) Beethoven, String Quartet in E-flat major, Op. 74, 'Harp' (30 minutes) Intermission (20 minutes) String Quartet in B-flat major, Op. 130 (40 minutes) Educational Residency Information: Sunday, October 12, 1:00-1:45 p.m. Pre-Performance Lecture with Roberta Schwartz, KU assistant professor of music and dance, Oldfather Dance Studio. A member of the Takcs Quartet will be a guest during the lecture. For tickets or more information about the TAKCS QUARTET, or any Lied Series event, contact the Lied Center Ticket Office at (785) 864-ARTS or visit our website: http://www.lied.ku.edu. Tickets may also be purchased online at: http://purchase.tickets.com/buy/TicketPurchase?organ_val=2981 |
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