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1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 15,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Today this little kid got run over by one of those eight-teen wheeler semi's. He then was stampeded by a heard of elephants... A creepy man came out from under the earth and ate out the kid's insides. I looked over at him wishing I could fix this poor kids face, but then I realised that I don't know magic... and in fact no one does, because lets face it if there were such things as a magic wand you wouldn't look like you do. Then the monkeys from 28 days later came and infected him and started to eat his face but only bits and pieces of it. After that delightful turn of events I thought of you and wondered. Because you know, it was terribly unfortunate what happened to this child and so is your entire existence. Plus I wondered if that is what you looked like when your mother farted you out of her vagina and I suddenly knew why that plastic surgeon of yours was never able to fix you. Talia P.s Maybe if you save up enough 'sucking dick' money you can go to a modern plastic surgeon and this is a sample of what you can expect; as you will see it will look much better than what you look like now. This is the best we can do. http://www.horrordvdtalk.com/reviews/28DaysUS/28Days-42.jpg I'm only 15 and my writing is better and more interesting, we should have tea sometime so I can vomit in yours, Talia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 14,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Your girlfriend is really getting on my nerves. Who ever said you couldn't teach monkies how to read... LIED! Babies for cupcakes, Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 13,June,2004 | Dear Susan, I can't believe you finally found a partner for life I'm sure you fathags will make each other very... um yeah whatever. Oh yeah and in response to your previous question, if Chelsea Starr, your poonswat bride just isn't keeping that fresh smell... tell her, twat hair was to keep sticks, berries and small insects from living in her coonskin... evolve and wax bitch. our love will fight the middle east, Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 13,June,2004 | Dear Susan, I was going to pick up a copy of the Dallas Observer, that paper they give away for free that you 'write' for, but then I saw that you had an article about some crappy local band in it. So I just picked up the latest 'Thrifty Nickel' instead. Far more engrossing than your bland, tiresome horseshit. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 13,June,2004 | Dear Susan, I've decided that I'm going to start blaming all the bad things that happen in my life, the world, and the entire universe on you. You're like the Devil, only worse. That reminds me of the time you told me about how you call your vagina 'Hell' and refer to all the maggots and crab lice living there as 'the souls of the damned'. Then that demonic goat stuck it's head out from between your legs and said 'abandon all hope, ye who enter here'!!! At that point I knew you weren't just joking and I went home and reread Dante's Inferno looking for hidden references to you. As it turns out they weren't so hidden after all. Thanks for the doctoral thesis topic in world lit., you loathsome whore. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 13,June,2004 | Just ran across something one of your old flames must have written... 'When I was 15, I was thoroughly socially maladjusted. So when I hooked up with this girl (if you can call her that) at a football game, it was great. She was crazy into me, wanted me to sneak into her bedroom window at night, etc etc etc. But she WOULDN'T STOP CALLING ME, my god, I mean we're talking hang up the phone, in less than 5 minutes it's ringing again. This would go on ALL DAY EVERY DAY, seven days a week. It was driving me crazy. I'd try just hanging up and of course the girl would call right back. Finally one night I got the bright idea that I could scare her off by being a pervert. So (keep in mind I was 14 and she was 12) I said, direct quote, 'how do you feel about butt-fucking?' out of the clear blue. Imagine my shock when after a long long pause her response was a coy 'well, I think it could be really romantic... *with the right guy*.' OMFG. Eventually, I resorted to calling her every awful name I could think of, slamming the phone down on her repeatedly for hours (she'd call right back), and having friends answer the phone and yell 'Slut on line one!' It took like two months of that before she finally quit calling. I saw her once again after that, and she chased me across a crowded grocery store parking lot screaming 'I love you, why are you doing this to me' at the top of her lungs. Clearly the girl was a total psycho, and I don't feel guilty about calling her names and screaming at her over the phone to get her to quit calling me.' |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 13,June,2004 | I remember when I first saw your picture, I thought to myself baby jesus,where have you seen this picture before? and then I remembered. Legend. Recognize Did you know that Legend Inspired the video Game Legend of Zelda? Well it did and it was straight from the creators mouth. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 13,June,2004 | Dear Susan, My cock that you so lovingly sucked and massaged with your Vagina is now covered with your Genital warts. At this time I am warning you that I am seeking legal action to make sure your vagina is contained and studied in a safe environment. So my legal team is working out a deal with some Scientist from Bangkok. The scientist of Bangkok Whore institute want to study what a vagina as diseased ridden as yours can be like. ps. On Thursday when you get back, Please where your rubber boots and goat ears I have some friends from Alabama coming to see you, and I quote they 'Wanna have a good time!' |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 12,June,2004 | Dear: Susan My cat coughed up the most disgusting fur-ball today. It was all pukey, and discolored. It was absolutely repellent to watch, and it got me thinking......I bet stuff like that comes out of your pussy all the time. Hoping that you don't donate blood, Christina |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 11,June,2004 | Dear Susan, My friend asked me if I knew what a Dirty Sanchez was--immediately I thought of you. When I did find out what it was I realized that it was not by coincidence that I thought of you. S. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 11,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Everytime some lonley fucker on Yahoo! decides to drop me a line telling me about how my life is lived in sorrow and depravity because of all the 'fucking, and drinking and smoking,' I think of you. Because, only a loser that looks like Simon Birch would waste time trying to preach to anyone else. Also, I don't even smoke you fucking gayassholes. S. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 10,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Everytime some lonley fucker on Yahoo! decides to drop me a line telling me about how my life is lived in sorrow and depravity because of all the 'fucking, and drinking and smoking,' I think of you. Because, only a loser that looks like Simon Birch would waste time trying to preach to anyone else. Also, I don't even smoke you fucking gayassholes. S. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 10,June,2004 | Dear: Susan I had too much to drink last night. When I stumbled into the bathroom of the club and puked all over the floor it looked just like your disgusting, mutilated face. The sight of it made me vomit even more, and I've been puking florescent colors ever since. Burn in hell, you dumb bitch. Love always, Christina |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 10,June,2004 | but the zombies look better. your face looks like steaming hunk of poop love |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 10,June,2004 | die and choke on jason cucumber |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 10,June,2004 | Dear Susan, I am sorry that you stalked me around in your creepy old man costume. I am also sorry that your mom drank while she was pregnant. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is not a joke. Sabrina_C |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 10,June,2004 | Dear Susan, hmm wait a minute lemme just, if only I could *ENHANCE* *ENHANCE* *ENHANCE* yeah the red really does nothing for you... Fruit Cocktail, Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Dear Susan, I cried for Jason... why Jason urlLink WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Is this why you were so angry at Roy Horn? meebee? You are the sunshine of my life, Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Dear Susan, SUSAN KILLED CHRIST TOO! plus she looks like an X-Men experiment gone wrong... who has their arms enlarged to twice the size of their pudgy body? Christ forgives all, Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Damn you Susan just because your hispanic doesnt mean you can eat anything/anyone! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111 |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Dear Susan, I really think it's a shame what you did to Roy Horn... HUNGRY? Grab a snickers! TigersMilk, Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Dear Susan, If I were you I wouldn't wear shirts that showed off ANY cleavage. Bitches with zits/scars on their tits are NOT sexy...I don't care what your dad told you. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Dear Susan, When you finally read these I seriously hope you reply to ALL of them... not just one. These are heartfelt pleas, letters and comments. And just because I've written enormous amounts of letters to you... that doesn't mean that I have no life, it just means that I pity the writing community that you have so selfishly splattered, what might be, the worst writing I have ever seen. Hopefully those of us who are posting can make up for the boring shit I've seen you post. Like updating your fucking weekend... 'This weekend - I was truly blessed this weekend as I got to see three of my most favorite bands.' ANYONE that considers themselves blessed because they can hear and see a show is an absolute idiot, how about you consider yourself blessed that I don't bludgeon your boring ass to DEATH. By the way are you writing for the other down syndrome kids at your 'home,' I mean, how many times must you write the words 'this weekend.' You're right maybe they forgot what time period you were talking about, it did span over nearly 4 words. I did however start laughing, no Sooze! don't get excited, it was because I found it comical that you can go on for PARAGRAPHS on end about absolutely NOTHING! rock-hillbilly... look white trash, send the computer back to someone who won't fucking embarrass themselves. Plus you're old. and way too ugly for posting several pictures on websites like friendster... which now should be called terrifyingpictures-sitester... quite frankly you were asking for trouble Mr. Toad. You are my hero, Gia P.S. as a fashion note... red lipstick only brings more attention to your horrific mouth and razor sharp animal killing teeth, just say no! |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Dear Susan, What do you and the super model Gia Carangi have in common? You both have/had AIDS! Only her flesh slowly fell off and yours looks like its recruiting help... Can we be friends? Gia p.s. you are ugly |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Dear Susan, What does a hydrocephalic, syphilis-ridden, crack-head have in common with you? Everything. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Dear Susan, I saw you gave some hair tips to Jason King... Do I need to post your picture AGAIN. Pipe down retard. I LOVE YOU, Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Dear Susan, I heard you were a hippy. Hippies remind me of down syndrome children. You know, all that free love bull shit, and seeing the good and what not. OH THE BEAUTY!The happy for no fucking reason, mostly because they can't handle anything else, fat kids running and hugging legs, wrapping themselves around trees because maybe its a person? no one really loves them kinda people. Are you retarded? Nice Glasses, Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Dear Susan, I was thinking back to when you called me all coked up and you were talking about the rockhillbilly shows you just adore going to. And then you invited yourself over at 4 in the morning. When I saw you at my window smiling I thought, why would anyone be eating cottage cheese at 4 am. Then I looked closer and remembered you just don't brush your teeth. Sorry about the Restraining Order, Chocolate Kisses and Lemondrops, Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Good Idea: Anal sex or sex Bad Idea: anal sex or sex with Susan. die bitch |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Dear Susan, I love it when you leave a snail trail from my bed to the bathroom. However I do take offense to the green goo that you leave in my toilet. FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST DOUCHE THAT SHIT OUT . |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Look! I found one of your baby pictures! Like your mom said: 'Too bad that abortion didn't take'. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 08,June,2004 | Dear Susan, I can't believe Gia realized that you were a child star. I wonder if that was before or after your career as a child porn star. Sabrina |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 08,June,2004 | Dear Susan/Ian Michael Smith, Yesterday I saw a kid running across the street he was cute and blonde, genetics at perfection. He stopped directly in front of my car to chase after his multicolored ball that he had so selfishly kicked into the street. I thought about running him over but I remembered that he didn't remind me of you or Simon Birch at all because he on the other hand was cute. I let him live. He should send you a thank you card or something, don't ya think? Chocolate & candy, Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 08,June,2004 | The other day I saw a smashed catapillar lying on its side with its delicate innards oozing onto the hot arizona sidewalk. Then I saw a lady sneak up with the quickness and gobble it down like it was the only food around. Then I saw the picture that GIA posted and I knew it to be you, hunchback and all. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 08,June,2004 | Dear Susan: I remember you once said, 'I want that license plate holder that says 'TRUTH not tolerance'.' I agree, truth is important, and I can't tolerate you anymore. The truth is: no one really likes you, not even your hamster. It only uses you for food pellets. please cry again, it makes us feel victorious. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 07,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Could you please stop sending me pictures of your gaping asshole. It's just not right! But this clever comparison photo of you before you decided to tuck the old willie in the cavern, is entertaining, I like you as a fake woman just as much as I liked you in Simon Birch... I pleaded for your ugly death then too! Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 07,June,2004 | Dear Susan, This homeless guy stopped us to ask for money. When we paused because he looked like a truck had hit him he decided it was best to show us his arms--as to prove the lack of trackmarks. When he did this one of my friends screamed SUSAN. Kind like yahtzee. It was so funny that we gave the junkie 50 bucks for being like you. Sabrina_C |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 07,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Um, how did the King get involved? Why would you bring him into this? Herpes? -Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 07,June,2004 | Dear Susan, you remind me of the head of my penis and as we all know nothing good comes out of it. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 07,June,2004 | dear susan - i love how you used to tell everyone you hated me and then told me that you loved me you thought you were so clever but those herpes you thought you got from the mexican food toilet? yeah i had a friend borrow some of your panties oops. guess i could have been more honest too. forgive me? -chris |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 07,June,2004 | Dear Susan, When I sat down last night I felt a sharp pain in my rear--at first I thought you had drugged me and let people ram me in the anus for 8 hours. Turns out it was just a boil in the shape of your face. Sabrina |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 06,June,2004 | Dear Susan, You just aren't even worth it anymore ~Kate |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 06,June,2004 | Dear Susan, How come you look like Buddy Holly? Is that the reason Jason ass fucked you for so long, because he likes boyish men... Could he be heard saying 'That'll be the day when I die?' whilst doing this? Fist 'ya Lata, Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 06,June,2004 | Dear Susan - remember that old couch in the auditorium, the one that you entertained so many boys on? We nicknamed that the HPV couch. That's where you contracted many of the festering diseases you now possess. have a nice day. - chris |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 05,June,2004 | Dearest monkey butt I hope that one day when you wake you you will die from choking on the monstrous cucumber that you had shoved in your trough that you call your anus. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 05,June,2004 | Peace |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 05,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Your radio active mouth gave me cancer. Thanks a lot nigger. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 05,June,2004 | Dear Susan, After I choked out my mom. I beat her head in because for a second, I thought she called me Susan. Sabrina |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 05,June,2004 | Dear Susan, My tits are really fucking tan. You have the hiv. Sabrina |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 05,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Meet me in the alley with your switchblade. Wear a mask--looking at your face could prove to throw me off. I won't let you use your 'garbage pail kid' mouth to win. Sabrina |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 05,June,2004 | Dear Susan, That time I had the party was the best. You showed up late and drunk after all my other friends had arrived. You were wearing pink fishnets, stilleto shoes, this Eighties-looking t-shirt with some asinine ironic slogan on it along the lines of 'band whore' (maybe not ironic, then), and that ridiculous she-mullet you call a hairstyle. That wasn't embarassing at all. Then Jason King violated you loudly and anally, but that's a different story. I totally want my good friends to think I socialize with ugly whores. Ugly clown whores. Thanks. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 04,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Why is it--whenever I see a red door that I think of your big gaping asshole? Sabrina |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 04,June,2004 | an education film on what not to be by yours truly. Muhammed ali 'the greatest' |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 04,June,2004 | i mean! Susan why do you hate your people? why why why? is it because they remind you of your past? someday they will avenge themselves drenched in mayo and pickle sauce on your doorsteps. until then die bitch |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 04,June,2004 | Dear Susan - I hope you die. Patrick |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 03,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Is it true that you said 'The only Fruit of my Loom is when nigger pinches one off on my chest.' This offends me. Why are you sick? -Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 03,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Thanks for all the decorating tips that your apartment inspired. I moved to the worst, ghetto-ass neighborhood I could find, my place smells like cat piss and shit, I never clean, and I hung up pictures of that moronic faggot Bam Margerra all over the walls. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 03,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Why do you hate black people? |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 03,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Thank you so much I went to your website and saw your picture and I haven't stopped vomitting since. I have lost so much weight... trimspa ain't got nothing on you. Every time I think about eating I just think of that picture and it's like magic. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 03,June,2004 | Dear Susan, Are you having sex with the Giant Oxen that is featured in Sabrina's blog. The bulldog known as Yanis? |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 03,June,2004 | Can you guess the title? thats right! Susan. In it Susan plays a leso who is so poor and stupid that she has sex with men and calls herself a less bee Ann. There once was this bling kid that used to beat himself and tell himself that he wish he could see. It was the saddest thing I had ever seen until I saw this wretched filth. Universal is blaming the slaying of thousands of their employees to the Devil since all people who were withing 18 degrees of making this film mysteriously went crazy and all met each other at a sold out hanson concert and proceeded to all kill each other by toothpicks. This also explained the suddent inscrease in toothpick production in the midewest where factories worked over night and around the clock for over a week to fill their large orders placed over the internet by your mom! |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 26,July,2004 | Dear Susan, I thought you were following me this weekend but it turns out the town across the way was having a buffalo rodeo. Love, Tif |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 22,July,2004 | Dear Susan, You haven't posted in a while besides your ripping off of some Elliott Smith lyrics which only insults and degrades his legacy. Good job with that. But since you haven't been posting your usual dross in a timely manner I think I speak for all the sentient beings in the universe when I say : pleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedead pleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedead pleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedead pleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasepleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedead pleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasepleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedead pleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasepleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedead pleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasepleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedead pleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebefuckingDEAD. thanks. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 21,July,2004 | Dear Susan, I read your post about having nearly 7 yeast infections in the past 3 weeks... how about you buy some fucking pants that fit, so your oversized crotch isn't eating half of your pants, suffocating the mouth of the beast... no one likes the smell of fallopian tubes. Give the old dungeon some breathing room you dumb hoe... oh yeah AND... wash the shit. What kind of fucking nimrod gets 7 yeast infections... hey if it itches and it isnt going away, and you keep getting it... how about you stop letting the black students in your class do your gynecology exams you cheap fat bitch and realize that maybe the itching is from fucking that bald red assed baboon looking flea bag of a boyfriend or maybe its from the fungus your unruly pubic hair is sustaining which has taken over the lower half of your body... OR you could just die You disgust me, Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 21,July,2004 | Dear Susan, I realize why you are so fucking dumb... half black NIGGER die -Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 21,July,2004 | Susan, I don't like you HAHAHA |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 20,July,2004 | Dear Susan, I was at the gym yesterday when I noticed this disgustingly fat man on the stairclimber sweating up a storm. He was stepping like there was no tomorrow. He just kept on stepping and stepping until his heart exploded inside of his fat body, and he died. When the paramedics came they told us that 10 minutes prior to dying he shit his pants. Nasty, awful stinking man. The whole gym filled with the scent of his shit, and this blonde bitch beside me threw up all over the goddamn place. It was a real mess. Completely and utterly disgusting. I have never seen something so vile... ..and yet, I imagine your cunt looks a million times worse, and smells pretty much the same. Love, C xoxoxoxo |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 20,July,2004 | the other day I got my period and I realized wait a minute, wait a republican sniffing minute! I am the Mulk. the Mulk is impervious to all known man made forms of weapons and germs. His only weakness be that of the woochata(tm)! I realized I had contracted your venemous touch simply by reading your name. You poison runs real deep susan I curse ye! |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 19,July,2004 | Dear susan I have been in jail for over a month now. I am currently a free man. In jail I found an abundance of activities to keep me occupied. prison bitch,drug smuggler, assasin, cook, sock puppet, drag queen, ass defender. But I must admit, the Idea that kept me going inside the fortress of despair was to one day be able to breathe the sweet sweet smell of burning susan. watch your! back bitch! love Ricardo Jaimes |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 18,July,2004 | Dear Susan, Today I got my period and as I looked at the clumps of blood and uterus lining I couldn't help but think that as disgusting and stomach turning as it was, it was somehow still far less revolting that even the mere thought of you. Your mere existence is a giant, oozing scabies sore on the flesh of the human race. Do us all the favor and go frollick blindfolded in traffic. Regards, The Diva |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 18,July,2004 | Dear Susan, I just wanted to say that YOU FUCKED UP FOR THE LAST TIME. Remember when you came home last night? You where so drunk that I was helping you to your room. Well You shit your pants, I mean it looked like you where smuggling sausage for christ sakes! So I am leaving, and I am not paying rent because I feel that I have done enough for you all ready. You fucking retard I am not paying rent and or utilities because I have literally cleaned up your fecal matter. Oh and by the way your test results came back you have a raging case of Clamidia. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 16,July,2004 | Dear Susan, My daughter saw you at the swim park and she has never been the same since. Shouldn't you consider becoming a hermit or something? I mean the poor kid plucked out her eyelashes and rolls on the floor drooling all day long now. On a happy note, I read that some doctors in England are very close to performing the first face transplant. There is hope for you. -Tif |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 13,July,2004 | Dear Susan, Remember Treasure Trolls (tm)... well if they were fatter, uglier, and had vaginal warts that would be an uncanny resemblence of YOU! I mean, you know that belly button ring you always wear. The one with a jewel that looks like a diamond amidst mountains of your fleshy fat fucking gut, which is placed strategically in your gaping cavern of a belly button... Rub the Jewel, Make a Wish Fatass, Gia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 06,July,2004 | Dear Susan, This is pretty neat. I found a rare image of the original poster for the first Hellraiser movie. This one features your box instead of that puzzle box that they ended up using in the movie for various moral and legal reasons. I only have two questions: 1. What's with all that green shit on your vag? Is that moss or some St. Patrick's Day thing? 2. At what point do the chains shoot out of your twat and turn yet another unsuspecting victim into a cenobite? I'll bet that looks pretty cool when it happens. Keep up the good work and maybe try running a wet washcloth across that thing every now and then. |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 04,July,2004 | Dear Susan, Your mother was an insufferable, lonely, bitch of a woman. She couldn't even get Petey, the one legged, black quadrapalegic from down the hall to throw her a mercy fuck...She had to jerk him off into a cup and insert his man sauce with a turkey baster. Looking at how quickly you've grown up it's safe to say the apple doesn't seem to fall far from the tree, you malignant little whore. Drink A.I.D.S. and Die, The Diva |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 04,July,2004 | Dear Susan, It's Mom. I just got those pictures from our vacation in Salt Lake City developed, and there's noe with your father cum all over face. I tore it apart. I'd hate for your Uncle Mike to see it, and know that you're cheating on him. Mom |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 04,July,2004 | Everyone hates you. You should actually consider bathing with your toaster. Don't forget to plug it in! Kittens with fleas, Talia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 02,July,2004 | Dear Susan, There once was a bird the size of a turd sitting on a telephone pole. he cocked his little neck and craped a little crap. It looked like some sap so you went up to it and put it on your eyes. That explains the crap on your eyelids. A friend of 'A Little Bird', Talia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 01,July,2004 | Dear Susan, you keep asking me who your 'dad' is. i guess you are at the age now where i can tell you the real truth. when i was 14 we ran out of toilet paper and i used an old tissue from the trash to wipe my oozing cunt. somebody must have just used that last bit of the t.p. to jack off a big load into, and thus you were concieved. im pretty sure it was my brother jimbo, but it might have been uncle mike. hope this helps. love, MOM |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 01,July,2004 | Dear Susan, I could write some really bitter diatribe about you and your disease spreading cunt. Instead I'll just say this: everyone hates you, and we always will. Kill yourself and make this world a better place. Love always, Stolenswan |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 01,July,2004 | Dear Susan, 'I have the second yeast infection in past two months straight on the heels of my second bacterial infection in the same time period. i'm sure you guys didn't want to know that but yeah, talking about physical hell and all. -- Ask For Samantha (...), June 11th, 2004.' Get it straight nobody wants to know about your dirty pussy. Grimlins with elf hats, Talia |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 01,July,2004 | Dear Susan, Your 'boyfriend' is fucking BALD! Good luck with that... |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 01,July,2004 | Dear Susan: Just to clarify, I am asking you to leave my house, Why? because you shit and piss on the floor and then you try to hump my leg, frankly I don't need your shit stained undies touching my pants. So now that I am kicking your hail damaged cottge cheese ass to the curb, You can make me a sandwich you fuckin bitch! |
1,713,845 | male | 23 | Student | Taurus | 01,July,2004 | Hey everybody...and Susan, You might already know me. My name's Weird Al Yankovic. I have been getting tired of writing my wacky song parodies about food (I've been doing it for almost 25 years now!) and was getting burned out. Then I discovered this wonderful site called 'Dear Susan'. So now I've decided to devote my sardonic songwriting skills to penning parodies about the pariah named Susan. I'll be posting bits and pieces of works in progress on here from time to time for your perusal and enjoyment. Here's two very rough parodies I've been working on lately. Best Regards! Ass Junkie (to the tune of the Beastie Boys’ “Brass Monkey”) Ass Junkie Your trunk is funky And skunky, drunkie You’re such a flunky Your ass has a stench that’s so unreal You’re an Ass Junkie but that's how you deal Put your left leg down your right leg up Tilt your head back and guzzle my spunk Your Dad with the bottle, King rocks your can Susan gives ass to every man... Cum Where You Will (to the tune of Nirvana’s “Come As You Are”) Cum where you will In my ass On my grill Where you want Take your fill Fuck my cunt Or my rump Spread my cheeeeeks, yeah Spread my cheeeeeks, yeah And I swear that I don’t have the HIV No, I don’t have the HIV... |
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