Datasets:

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mbkim

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AdvisorQA

like 1

[ "When you talk to a stranger at night/when its dark, what are some things you can do to show you are safe to interact with/don't have bad intentions? ", "When you talk to a stranger at night/when its dark, what are some things you can do to show you are safe to interact with/don't have bad intentions? " ]

[ "Sounds like something a psychopathic killer would ask who doesn't quite know how to mask their intentions....", "Call out to them/ask my question from a distance, as I'm making my way to them. I'll stop a few feet away from them as well instead of going right up to them." ]

[ 3, 2 ]

[ "how do I get more stable fingers/hands. So my fingers shake when I'm trying to solve my rubiks cube faster (personal record 1 min 55 sec) and it's just messing me up. What can I do to make my fingers/hands more stable\n\nMore: it's not just with Rubik's cube it also happens whenever I fiddle with little things", "how do I get more stable fingers/hands. So my fingers shake when I'm trying to solve my rubiks cube faster (personal record 1 min 55 sec) and it's just messing me up. What can I do to make my fingers/hands more stable\n\nMore: it's not just with Rubik's cube it also happens whenever I fiddle with little things", "how do I get more stable fingers/hands. So my fingers shake when I'm trying to solve my rubiks cube faster (personal record 1 min 55 sec) and it's just messing me up. What can I do to make my fingers/hands more stable\n\nMore: it's not just with Rubik's cube it also happens whenever I fiddle with little things", "how do I get more stable fingers/hands. So my fingers shake when I'm trying to solve my rubiks cube faster (personal record 1 min 55 sec) and it's just messing me up. What can I do to make my fingers/hands more stable\n\nMore: it's not just with Rubik's cube it also happens whenever I fiddle with little things", "how do I get more stable fingers/hands. So my fingers shake when I'm trying to solve my rubiks cube faster (personal record 1 min 55 sec) and it's just messing me up. What can I do to make my fingers/hands more stable\n\nMore: it's not just with Rubik's cube it also happens whenever I fiddle with little things", "how do I get more stable fingers/hands. So my fingers shake when I'm trying to solve my rubiks cube faster (personal record 1 min 55 sec) and it's just messing me up. What can I do to make my fingers/hands more stable\n\nMore: it's not just with Rubik's cube it also happens whenever I fiddle with little things" ]

[ "Exercise! Work your core and arms - also, it might be the stress of trying to solve a rubiks cube in under 1 min 55 seconds that's giving you the shakes. Adrenaline man.", "I have an essential tremor so my hands shake all the time, but much worse when I am trying to do fine motor stuff. I was prescribed beta blockers (medication that is usually given to people to stop chronic migraines). My doctor told me some musicians take them before a performance to curb their jitters/shakiness. Don't know if this is helpful but worth a try if your shaky hands are that much of a hassle ", "Yea my fingers are terrible too. Often when I type or im writing, heck even randomly the fingers would get shaking or twitch. They also tend to get much stiffer when cold and seem a bit painful at the joints if I move them when cold... Halp plox", "My cousin's hands always tremble when trying to perform delicate actions (like pouring in a drink). He can't help it, but drinking 1 or 2 beers make it disappear. Maybe try this? He always does this to be better at playing pool, but says his aim gets worse if he drinks more than those 2 beers :p", "How long have you been trying to solve a rubiks cube? It might just be the cube itself being slow that means you cant solve it faster.\n\nLook up BadMePhisto's Fridrich method tutorial if you want to solve it faster.", "Reaaaly unrelated but sometimes when I fiddle with something really\nsmall with my finger tips I get an uncomfortable tickling/tingle feeling\nin them. Does anyone else get this? " ]

[ 5, 1, 0, 0, 0, -1 ]

[ "When having a conversation with somebody, how do I show that I'm listening without having to say \"yeah\" \"uh huh\" \"okay\" while that person is speaking. This is more of a personal issue, but what are other norms that are acceptable when listening to someone speak during a conversation? \n\n", "When having a conversation with somebody, how do I show that I'm listening without having to say \"yeah\" \"uh huh\" \"okay\" while that person is speaking. This is more of a personal issue, but what are other norms that are acceptable when listening to someone speak during a conversation? \n\n", "When having a conversation with somebody, how do I show that I'm listening without having to say \"yeah\" \"uh huh\" \"okay\" while that person is speaking. This is more of a personal issue, but what are other norms that are acceptable when listening to someone speak during a conversation? \n\n", "When having a conversation with somebody, how do I show that I'm listening without having to say \"yeah\" \"uh huh\" \"okay\" while that person is speaking. This is more of a personal issue, but what are other norms that are acceptable when listening to someone speak during a conversation? \n\n", "When having a conversation with somebody, how do I show that I'm listening without having to say \"yeah\" \"uh huh\" \"okay\" while that person is speaking. This is more of a personal issue, but what are other norms that are acceptable when listening to someone speak during a conversation? \n\n" ]

[ "Just look at them when they're talking! Just stop doing the \"mhmm\" \"uhuh\" \"yup\" thing. It will be weird at first but you will get used to it!", "Aside from body language I would suggest using reflective statements instead of \"oh really \"mmhhh\". For example \"oh did he really do that\". \"Sounds like you really love (topic of convo). It is the \"what I hear you saying\" social Work/therapy trick. If you repeat back what your heard they know you were listening ", "every now and then flick your right nipple in cross ways direction. it wont indicate that you are listening, but they eventually stop talking and ask you why you flicked your nipple. at this point you tell them you're jewish and that their question was very rude. works 70%, all the time.", "Work retail. Be a cashier. It will be ingrained in your brain after a week.\nYou'll be the best fake listener in the world ", "Look at them and show with your facial expressions (subtly) that you are engaging with what they are saying. Then ask good questions. If you make a habit of asking good questions people will learn that you listen." ]

[ 13, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to be satisfied with what you have? I bet many of you guys face this problem, but sometimes my head just won't stop wondering \"What if x or y I have is not the best for me? What could be out there that is better?\"\n\nLately it's been happening specifically with women. I met a great girl, been dating her for 4 months. Our intellectual connection is great, and she's really cute, but I can't help wonder how it would feel to date some other girls that I meet that I really like.\n\nDon't get me wrong though, it doesn't happen only with girls, same with cellphones, computers, etc.\n\nAny tips appreciated :D ", "How to be satisfied with what you have? I bet many of you guys face this problem, but sometimes my head just won't stop wondering \"What if x or y I have is not the best for me? What could be out there that is better?\"\n\nLately it's been happening specifically with women. I met a great girl, been dating her for 4 months. Our intellectual connection is great, and she's really cute, but I can't help wonder how it would feel to date some other girls that I meet that I really like.\n\nDon't get me wrong though, it doesn't happen only with girls, same with cellphones, computers, etc.\n\nAny tips appreciated :D ", "How to be satisfied with what you have? I bet many of you guys face this problem, but sometimes my head just won't stop wondering \"What if x or y I have is not the best for me? What could be out there that is better?\"\n\nLately it's been happening specifically with women. I met a great girl, been dating her for 4 months. Our intellectual connection is great, and she's really cute, but I can't help wonder how it would feel to date some other girls that I meet that I really like.\n\nDon't get me wrong though, it doesn't happen only with girls, same with cellphones, computers, etc.\n\nAny tips appreciated :D ", "How to be satisfied with what you have? I bet many of you guys face this problem, but sometimes my head just won't stop wondering \"What if x or y I have is not the best for me? What could be out there that is better?\"\n\nLately it's been happening specifically with women. I met a great girl, been dating her for 4 months. Our intellectual connection is great, and she's really cute, but I can't help wonder how it would feel to date some other girls that I meet that I really like.\n\nDon't get me wrong though, it doesn't happen only with girls, same with cellphones, computers, etc.\n\nAny tips appreciated :D ", "How to be satisfied with what you have? I bet many of you guys face this problem, but sometimes my head just won't stop wondering \"What if x or y I have is not the best for me? What could be out there that is better?\"\n\nLately it's been happening specifically with women. I met a great girl, been dating her for 4 months. Our intellectual connection is great, and she's really cute, but I can't help wonder how it would feel to date some other girls that I meet that I really like.\n\nDon't get me wrong though, it doesn't happen only with girls, same with cellphones, computers, etc.\n\nAny tips appreciated :D ", "How to be satisfied with what you have? I bet many of you guys face this problem, but sometimes my head just won't stop wondering \"What if x or y I have is not the best for me? What could be out there that is better?\"\n\nLately it's been happening specifically with women. I met a great girl, been dating her for 4 months. Our intellectual connection is great, and she's really cute, but I can't help wonder how it would feel to date some other girls that I meet that I really like.\n\nDon't get me wrong though, it doesn't happen only with girls, same with cellphones, computers, etc.\n\nAny tips appreciated :D ", "How to be satisfied with what you have? I bet many of you guys face this problem, but sometimes my head just won't stop wondering \"What if x or y I have is not the best for me? What could be out there that is better?\"\n\nLately it's been happening specifically with women. I met a great girl, been dating her for 4 months. Our intellectual connection is great, and she's really cute, but I can't help wonder how it would feel to date some other girls that I meet that I really like.\n\nDon't get me wrong though, it doesn't happen only with girls, same with cellphones, computers, etc.\n\nAny tips appreciated :D " ]

[ "Grass is always greener. Everybody has these thoughts and it's normal. Only thing that helps me is to think about why I love the things I love. Thing about the things in the past that were negative and what brought me to be in possession of object x, or dating/married to person y.\n\nWith most things in life we really don't know. You might be able to dump your GF tonight and meet the true girl of your dreams tomorrow. Or maybe you'll spend the next 40 years in misery because she really was the best. Same line of thought can be applied in some way to just about everything.\n\nBest example I can give.. \nI used to have a limited ", "It sounds to me like you don't have an effective means to handle advertising. \n\nGirls advertise themselves, especially to guys that are in a relationship. It's a test drive, if you will, very low risk for them and fun. Same with every product in the world that's advertised for sale. \n\nPROOF: I'm not a great looking guy; never was. However, when I would go into a market or theatre or restaurant with my wife, I would get looks, sometimes get hit on. I was flattered, shocked, second guessing my commitment to my wife, all in a few seconds time. Sound familiar?\n\nGo anywhere by myself, and I might as well have been invisible. Not even a neutral smile.\n\nMy tip for you: learn to distinguish between what you need and want, and what others need or want from you. If you can do it with women, the rest will likely be easy. Then your need to have the latest cell phone becomes secondary to your need to talk to someone you like on your old cell phone. Your priorities will become more personal to you, more focused and meaningful.", "Project yourself into your future, 6 months after you bought the new thing or whatever. Has anything in your life really changed? Are you truly significantly happier or feeling more fulfilled for your purchase or the change you made? In most cases, you will find the answer is no. Your cool-ass new phone is just \"your phone\" after six months. A mansion is just \"your house,\" etc.", "Can't help you with this one. I hit what I'm gonna call rock bottom, I take everything I now have as something I've poured effort into, and I'm satisfied. Anything I want, I know I can work toward it, and when I accomplish those goals, I'll be proud of what I've done.\n\nSounds like you have a fear of missing out though. Consider that although there are many choices you make every day, the choices you make are unique to you and therefore special. Nobody can have your exact experience, and that's the best part of being a unique individual.", "Use what you have. Often you will get bored of something if it just sits around. If you use something to its full potential, you won't see the need to change it. Another trick would be to only buy what you would need. If you need to upgrade it, it probably wasn't the thing you needed. Sometimes less is more. ", "Start nurturing a culture of gratitude in your own mind.\n\nThink about 3 things every day that you are thankful for. Literally count your blessings. That way, you can slowly train your mind to focus on the things that are going well, instead of focusing on things that \"could have been better\".", "Keep a gratitude journal. Spending a few minutes writing down all the things you feel grateful for, will make you feel truly happy." ]

[ 6, 4, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to stop telemarketers from calling. I have been getting at least 10 calls a week from random numbers asking if I want to lower my cr", "How to stop telemarketers from calling. I have been getting at least 10 calls a week from random numbers asking if I want to lower my cr", "How to stop telemarketers from calling. I have been getting at least 10 calls a week from random numbers asking if I want to lower my cr" ]

[ "Here's the federal No Call List Registry https://www.donotcall.gov/register/reg.aspx\n\nAnd for those annoying RoboCalls https://www.nomorobo.com/", "I also have used the Federal Do Not Call list. When I do get a call now, I click to speak to an operator and let them know that my number is on the FDNC list and if they continue to call, I'll have to repost them to the FCC. Ta-daa! No more calls!", "I am on the registry and that doesn't stop people from calling. The best way to do it, is to block the numbers through your cell phone provider. If you have an iPhone, you can easily block it via cell phone. DO NOT EVER PICK UP THE PHONE. They will know it's a live number and have others call you. Block every single number you don't recognise. \n\nThese people are scammers, if they cared so much about the Federal Government (Do Not Call List) do you think they would be out scamming people?" ]

[ 6, 2, 1 ]

[ "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already.", "Overcome nasal spray addiction & rebound congestion So over the last 6ish years, I have taken some form of decongestants, daily.\n\nI took Zicam decongestant religiously for the first 4ish years about every hour of every day. Then I went to an acupuncturist who introduced me to Piyenchen eye drops but told me they had been used hundreds of years in China to cure nasal problems. Surprisingly they worked, but I quickly realized it was the same negative effects of using Zicam.\n\nSo I've been using those the last 1.5 years and long story short, I think the Piyenchin drops does the same damage as the Zicam.\n\nOn Dec. 28th 2020, I decided to stop taking these drops. I went from using them every hour, to only using one drop in each nostril at night before bed to go to sleep. \n\nI still suffer today from rebound congestion. It does seem to gradually get better some days, but other days one of my nostrils will go back to being completely blocked off. \n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\*So my request is, who else has suffered from rebound congestion and how long did it take for you to get completely get rid of it? weeks, months, years??\n\nAnd how did you get rid of it? \n\n​\n\nThanks in advance for any LPT on this. I've been suffering way too long and enough is enough already." ]

[ "I have tried so many times to get myself off of needing Sudafed nasal spray (several times a day). The rebound congestion has actually given me panic attacks it was so bad (on a few occasions). \n\nI have managed to wean myself off almost completely a few times by forcing open the bottles and gradually watering down the spray - however, as soon as I got even a mild head cold I was straight back onto the full strength and right back where I started. \n\nI have bottles in nearly every room of my house “just in case”.\n\nI’d love to hear what methods folks who have successfully gotten off them have used.", "I weaned myself and it was probably the worst thing I ever had to do. (And I’ve given birth 3x!) it took a few months. I tried cold turkey and it was terrible. So I chose “a side” and only used it on that side at night for a few weeks to let the other side heal. Once I felt comfortable enough, I threw them all out and suffered through for a few weeks. I have allergies so I do use a nasal spray for them, but it has zero negative side effects IMO. It’s not a decongestant so there isn’t a rebound effect. \nI will say then when I used them I could see how swollen my nasal passages were in a mirror. Once I started only on one side I could see them shrink down over time. \n\nSeriously people underestimate how addictive it is. When I am sick my husband controls the spray so I don’t go crazy. The last time I used it I got a MASSIVE sinus infection and I’ve sworn it off for life now! \n\nAlso, one side of your nose is always “clogged” as part of the nasal cycle.", "I've gone through this before, to the point where I lost my sense of smell. (It was FAR before COVID - think 20 years ago or so, and I have thankfully regained it.)\n\nHonestly, recovery just happened. I'd forget my bottle of nasal spray or forget to use it, and be able to cope rather than counting the seconds until I could get at it again. Whenever that happened, I ran with it.\n\nIt was in the range of months to recover.\n\nI have needed to use nasal sprays again, but never to that point.\n\nAlso: ALWAYS throw away open bottles after about a week if you're the least bit sick, regardless of whether you used it just once or it's emptyish. Using older bottles just kept me sick.\n\nSaline nasal rinses, like neti pots and the sprays you can buy premade over the counter, do help a lot, but you use those while everything is fine, too.\n\nBest of luck. It's a hellish feeling.", "I am literally going through the exact same situation right now! I’ve using Sudafed nose spray daily ever since I was around 10 and I’m 17 now, so a good 7 years. I would use it every single day maybe 5/6 times a day. I can’t sleep without it. Yesterday I went to the doctors and they prescribed me this steroid nose spray that should work over time but doesn’t unblock my nose instantly like Sudafed does, but told me what I really needed to do was stop taking my Sudafed nose spray at all. \n\nIt’s been 2 days without it. I say that but currently I am using the Sudafed nose spray before I go to bed or I literally cannot sleep, but I’m not using it through the day at all which is a big big step up for me. I’ve been using this saline spray to drain my nose and a lot (I’m sorry it’s kinda gross) or snot is coming out but it just doesn’t unblock my nose! Have you found any ways to cope and anyways to unblock your nose in a way that’s not damaging it? Because right now I’m really struggling especially with withdrawal symptoms; the migraines are awful \n\nPlease can you let me know if you found any useful ways", "Have you seen an allergist? Perhaps your house and it’s microbial specs are causing your nasal drip. You should even give your house a deep clean and take a look at your bedding.", "Cortison nasal sprays. Here you need a prescription for them and you will still have a congested nose for some time but it helps in the long term. \n\nAlso nasal salt flushes help. \n\nMaybe start of with reducing the normal sprays to only before going to sleep and then use my tips.", "I’ve use nasal spray for only 8 days. Then I’ve read about rebound congestion so I’ve decided to stop it it in cold turkey. But now I’m 7 weeks and it’s still congested. ONLY 8 DAYS for this long of suffering. The nosestrill of one of my nose became small and I think it because of deviated septum. Barely small amount of air goes through it. When I sleep it became congested so I need to sleep sideways for me to breathe on one nose. I also drinking oral decongestant for 10 days but it has no effect. Every time I blow my nose there is a blood on mucus. Some experienced my symptoms? Thank you for responses.", "I've used oxymetazoline based nasal decongestant for like 2 years now. I had another year long run half a decade ago, not sure why I stopped using it the first time but remember using a lot of saline solution nasal spray in its place which didnt work anywhere near as well as the oxy based. I use the current one probably 4 times a day and try to get a good blow right before bed, wipe the inside of my nostrils out so they're dry and no mucus for the solution to get stuck in. That way its straight into the cavity. Some mornings I wake up and cannot push any air in or out of my nose so I have to get a few good blows in to open the passage up enough to get a spray into each side. Then other mornings, it's still working just fine and I can breathe almost like I just took it. I sleep about the same on average every night so it's not like the mornings I cant breathe at all are because I slept longer and it wore off or anything.\n\nAt this point, I cant really function without it without being miserable. I havent noticed any negative long term effects or anything. No infections, discharge or even pains. I wish I had a solution to your issue but I don't, just kinda wanted to vent and add my own experiences. Hope all is well for everyone.", "I was on Afrin for about 10 months. I haven’t used it for a solid 3 months now (went off of it cold turkey and was using pseudoephedrine for a couple weeks, not anymore though.) It was getting better until about the 2 month mark, and now I’m at a plateau. Sometimes it seems like it’s gotten worse. I’m still congested every single night in one of my nostrils (only one at a time for some reason). I’m curious as to other people’s stories of recovery. I have no nasal polyps (got a CT scan) and took a course of antibiotics right when I got off Afrin to make sure a sinus infection was treated if I had one. It’s super annoying... I thought most cases went away sooner than this.", "I know it's an old post. But been browsing through these myself for couple of weeks, thought I'd share my experience. \n\nBeen on Xylometazoline (Otrivin, Olynth) for at least 3-5 years in a row. Had to take a shot every few hours hours otherwise my nose would get completely shut and I wasn't able to think clearly, I was so focused on the clogged nose.... I wasn't able to eat, sleep and so on...\n\nLast month I said I'm done for good, I had 4 free days ahead of me. I stopped fully taking it. Went through the cold-turkey, the first day was pretty bad. The second and third, I don't remember as much, but I know that besides not being able to breath properly, having my mouth dry and waking up every so often thorough the night, it was sort of ok. I mostly used my mouth for breathing.\n\nBy fourth day, I was able to breath relatively fine. It was surprising to me. Although there's a chance I forgot how is it to breath without clogged nose. \n\nIn the next 14 days, I had phases of being able to breath just fine, to having my nose a tiny bit clogged (still enough to breathe). More often, having my nose clogged happens when I lay down. I can bare it, but it's not the most pleasant experience. \n\nI relapsed after those 14 days, used just a tiny bit of the spray, and I couldn't believe of how much I can breath. (Yes, even after 14days..) I stopped right after and nowadays I sometimes use tiny bit of the spray every once in while. 1-2 times a week, (when I'm too stressed for example hehe), I usually regret it though, because after roughly 12hrs, my nose gets again very clogged, but it's usually gone within a day. And I hopefully be able to stop the habit completely. (I don't recommend relapsing :P)\n\nThe outcome? I can leave the house without worrying. I don't need to carry the spray everywhere. My nostrils are still not 100% unclogged and I'm unsure what to do about it, it usually is not bothersome and I often don't even notice it; usually it gets worse at night. I can still 100% recommend. The feeling of being dependent on something is gone. Though it's still only been a month... Will see in the next few months. ))\n\nGood luck.\n\n", "Tough...had the same problem for years. Weaned off myself (even tougher, took months), but my nostrils are ruined for good especially in the winter season.\n\nOne help might be using a mentholated medical ointment which you can apply around the nostrils and under the nose (with care - too close to the eyes and they will water like hell!) and on the chest and back (when you go to sleep for example). \nBut only when really necessary...you won't get around some sleepless nights and tired days, I'm afraid.", "I know this is an old thread but I wanted to volunteer that an oral steroid (tapering over about 12 days) is the only way I was ever able to quit long term. It worked for many years ago after an addiction that began during pregnancy. \n\nEven so I had addiction gradually develop again after usage during a cold - at night. I refused to use during the day to try and minimize the addiction and its effects. (Of course I also can get relief from oral sudafed during the day). \n\nThere is also the Rhinostat system which is a system for diluting doses to help with withdrawal. I have not tried it but the concept is sound and plenty of us have tried a similar approach manually.", "I got covid end of March 2022 and started using a nasal decongestant. It worked instantaneously and was a miracle while I was struggling to overcome covid and taking care of my toddler. I used it for about a week (2-3x a day). Once I recovered from covid, I caught a cold from my son about 2 weeks later. I went back to the nasal decongestant (active ingredient xylometazoline) I used the spray pretty hardcore for about a week (3-4x a day) and then recovered. Then 2 weeks later I caught another cold from my son (he catches a lot of colds from his daycare) and went back to the spray. In retrospect, I probably had already caused some damage to my nostrils with how often I had used it. I would get rebound congestion and blame it on allergies (which I never had before) or another cold. Anyhow I unknowingly resorted to the spray again at nights to fall asleep for another week. My nose is constantly clogged and easily irritated. My nose will start to itch and then i'll sneeze a lot and my nose would clog up fully. I also have lost my sense of smell which on a good day might return temporarily but highly diminished. I've been off the spray for a little over two weeks now but my nose still has not recovered and neither has my sense of smell. Antihistamines would help about 50%, but neti pots for example don't do anything for me. It's worse in the evenings before I go to sleep and I struggle to sleep well. Sometimes I'll wake up with a clear nostril, but I still am unable to smell and the moment I get up to drink water or use the restroom my nose will completely get clogged again for a couple hours. It's truly miserable. I'm on day 16 of being off the spray and hoping to document my journey here in case anyone is interested. I know that many are struggling similarly and perhaps any insight I gain might be helpful.", "Cutting back today. ONE SQUIRT EACH NOSTREL before Ingo to sleep of the .05 equate brand. Wish me luck Ive been waking up with my mouth open so dry My tounge feels like sand paper. I CANT LIVE LIKE THAT ANYMORE! Wish I would have never touched the stuff", "been on all sprays sudafed, flutase etc for 6 weeks too long now but going to stop them all eom, i'll update how i get on", "Thank you everyone for sharing your stories! I feel inspired. \nDay 1 tomorrow. Got a steroid spray from my doctor and will use it saline rinse and I ll buy nasal strips tomorrow as well. Good luck everyone! You are not alone.", "Start by getting some pseudoephedrine or with a prescrption, then get a nasal steroid, then start alternating nostrils on pseudo and steroid, then eventually your off from that and then wean off from pseudo and then your good", "Reddit, correct me when im wrong,\n\nIs it not the case that one nostril is always clogged for a \"cleaning\" phase and that it swaps every 4 hours with people not noticing because were accustomed to it?", "Just wanted to add to this old thread because it has helped me a lot. I am 8 days into going cold turkey after approximately 15 years of Nasal spray addiction! \nWhile I’m not out of the woods yet and it has been extremely tough there does appear to be a light at the end of the tunnel. The first 2 days in particular were hard. I couldn’t breath unless I was upright and exercising and I didn’t sleep much. However, while I continued to be blocked up at random intervals each day, this has lessened slowly. The nights still aren’t great but it doesn’t stop me sleeping eventually.\nWhat I will say is, remember this. YOU CAN DO IT! \nIt is easy to keep putting it off and reaching for that bottle but don’t do it. Throw them away and push through the pain. Most of it is mental. It will seem impossible at first. But it isn’t. You are stronger than you might believe. Think of all the damage you are saving yourself from in future. Think of all the money you will save in the long run. If I can do it, you can too!", "I'm starting my first day of going cold turkey. I've been using it for like 6 months now, so not as long as some other people. But I'm dealing with the rebound so I want to prevent any further damage I might have done. Any safe nasal spray suggestions?", "I use oxymetazoline nasal spray each time I get a cold or flu, which is often because kids are in daycare. Currently I have covid and have been using it for 10 days straight.\n\nI always get mild rebound congestion. I’ll tend to use the spray until the heavy mucus phase resolves. After which I’ll deal with the rebound congestion.\n\nWhen I start the process of stopping the nasal spray, I take 1 shot in each nostril in the morning, once my sinus are open I like to use a netipot. \n\nI’ll end up with a single nostril blocked. Which tends to be the nostril closest to the ground on which I slept.\nSo I will spend 15-20 minutes laying on the other side just as I wake up. Once I notice the congestion moving to the other side. I blow snot out heavily, and then use the netipot.", "I know this thread is old, but....\n\nStarting my journey today. For at least 5 months, I've stupidly used the Equate shit. Stupidly ignored the warning about overusing it and now I'm paying for it. I have no one to blame but myself.\n\nThe first day without it wasn't as bad as I originally thought it would be. As much as I hate it, I'm forcing myself to breathe through my mouth (all while thoroughly brushing my teeth). There's been a few times where I've tried to breathe through my nose, and when there's no mucus, it's not impossible. Difficult, but not impossible. It gives me a glimmer of hope.\n\nI've noticed that the biggest impact was to my sense of taste. Since I can't smell hardly anything (due to the rebound congestion and seasonal allergies), the only time I can taste anything is if I blow my nose right after taking a bite. It sucks, but it's not the end of the world.\n\nIt was really refreshing to read other people's experiences and to know that I'm not the only one who made this mistake. I laugh about it, but there is still a part of me that's worried about the long-term effects.\n\nLooking back on it, there's no chance in Hell overcoming that short term congestion 5 months ago was worth all this shit today. Had I known what would happen, I would've never touched the spray to begin with. I'm still debating whether or not I want to quit cold turkey, ween myself by diluting the spray, or take the \"one nostril\" approach. I'm currently sticking with cold turkey, and I hope the journey isn't as bad as I fear.\n\nCan't wait until this is all over.", "I know this is an older post but I hope that y’all are still active. It’s 530 in the morning here, another day of waking up through the night and having severe cotton mouth and dark yellow pee. I have been taking nasal spray for 3 years straight, and the last month or so I have had bad panic attacks because of not being able to breathe. Worst feeling ever, like somebody is pinching my nose shut. Enough was enough. I weaned myself for 4 or so days while on vacation, only spraying in left nostril and suffering in right. Then I said screw it, I’m going cold turkey. My last dose was 7pm last Saturday, so the end of today will be day 5. Here has been my experiences. Some parts of day, can breathe out of one nostril while the other is plugged, others they both still get blocked. What helped me js exercise and distraction. I’ve noticed exercising they open up a good amount, and I can breathe although not like an athlete should.. distracting myself also helps keep my mental health in check. I just want to know how those who quit cold turkey had made out/their recovery phase. This is by far the worst thing I every started in my life. It has been the center of how I live, always carrying a bottle with me or not being able to function. I am trying to stay strong but this is literal hell…", "I know this is an old thread, and I know currently my story is no where near as bad as others on here but I’m struggling.\n\nI’ve been using Sudafed for five days straight due to the flu. I know I shouldn’t keep using it, but my god, I cannot breath. I went to the pharmacy today and they gave me saline spray instead but it does absolutely NOTHING.\n\nI’m freaking out because I don’t want to do any permanent damage or become reliant on it to be able to breath, but it’s so hard without it.", "I know this is an old post, but it appears to be unlocked, so I'm going to try to post this in case any other internet wanderers arrive here.\n\nCheck out this site: [Rhinostat Labs (nasalspray.com)](https://nasalspray.com/) \n\nThey've been around a long time, and have a great method for weaning off of nasal sprays, including oxymetazoline (aka Afrin). \n\nThere's hope and help to kick this awful habit!", "I have been using this for around 4years now like everyday upto 5times a day but on good days only 3 times. I have the same problem as you all... I did however stop using it for about a month... I went cold turkey off all sprays and what I found useful was to wear the clear see through nasel strips you put on your nose. You can buy really big packs of them on amazon cheap. They open up your nasal passages which is handy but like some of you I rebounded when I got a bad cold... I hate the unpleasantness of not being able to breath through my nose... if you can't then it irritates mate and my changes my mood for the worst... to the point I'm an asshole to be around. So I keep on taking it. Worst thing I ever did was use nasal spray.. I'm feel like a crack head on spray.", "I have a couple questions and I hope someone can help me on this!\n\nOkay, I've been using nasal spray (afrin menthol)\nFor about 3 years or so at least 6 to 8 times a day and today I've noticed its done some questionable damage in my nose which Im going to go get checked out to see how severe it is. I've thrown out all the bottles I had. I also just bought a neti pot. So, do neti pots actually help as in also help me to get away from nasal spray? Secondly, should I use it given that there is damage already done? \n\nNote: the damage done doesn't hurt. I wouldn't have noticed it if it wasn't for a small nose bleed that happened today. \n\nPlease answer ASAP!! Thank you!!", "Hey I've been using nasal sprays for about 7 years, I've been using oxymetazoline only. I am getting really tired of using them and I just want to be able to breathe independently again. I use a nasal spray everyday, every hour I use around 3-4 sprays depending how bad my nose is blocked. Today I decided to try and go the longest I could without using it and wow its been awful... both of my nostrils have completely been blocked off and causing my ears to get blocked, so i go a bit deaf because my nose is completely blocked if that makes sense. I am going to try and use the nasal spray less and less each day and use at night because I literally cannot breathe through my nose. Any tips on how to battle this and how to cope without nasal spray? I've just had to use my nasal spray because my head felt like it was going to explode due to my nose being so blocked. So far only my right nostril is kinda open and my left is still fully blocked even though I used the nasal spray. So yeah I feel like my situation is really bad and I don't know how to get better.", "Hello all. The tips in here are so useful. This is Day 1 of recovery after 10 years of Sudafed! I've tried to stop a few times before but found it very tough.\n\nThis time, I'm hoping to push through the first 3-4 days with full attack and hopefully it'll get easier after that. \n\nI've got the following on the go:\n\nPseudoephedrine tablets\nIbuprofen\nSaline spray (and a netipot for when I start to improve)\nMenthol chewing gum and olbas oil inhaler\nBreathe right nose strips\n\nI'm feeling positive. It's Friday today and I'm working from home today and Monday so hopefully I have a breakthrough by the time I am in the office on Tuesday.\n\nI'm currently at 100% congested so I'm anticipating a rough first night. \n\nIf anyone has any further tips, please let me know!", "Extra strength nasal strips, Benadryl and Vicks vapour rub, propped with pregnancy pillow and Flonase is getting me to quit! Good luck everyone", "I dont have this problem, so my recommendation is only an idea- have you tried the netipots that rinse out your sinuses with a saline rinse?" ]

[ 20, 11, 9, 8, 5, 4, 3, 3, 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0 ]

[ "how to handle foot odor and keeping shoes/boots from smelling bad Sometimes I work 12 hour days in work boots and by the time I get to peel those bad boys off I've worked up a smell that makes me leave my boots outside. How do you keep your feet from ruining your footwear?", "how to handle foot odor and keeping shoes/boots from smelling bad Sometimes I work 12 hour days in work boots and by the time I get to peel those bad boys off I've worked up a smell that makes me leave my boots outside. How do you keep your feet from ruining your footwear?", "how to handle foot odor and keeping shoes/boots from smelling bad Sometimes I work 12 hour days in work boots and by the time I get to peel those bad boys off I've worked up a smell that makes me leave my boots outside. How do you keep your feet from ruining your footwear?", "how to handle foot odor and keeping shoes/boots from smelling bad Sometimes I work 12 hour days in work boots and by the time I get to peel those bad boys off I've worked up a smell that makes me leave my boots outside. How do you keep your feet from ruining your footwear?", "how to handle foot odor and keeping shoes/boots from smelling bad Sometimes I work 12 hour days in work boots and by the time I get to peel those bad boys off I've worked up a smell that makes me leave my boots outside. How do you keep your feet from ruining your footwear?", "how to handle foot odor and keeping shoes/boots from smelling bad Sometimes I work 12 hour days in work boots and by the time I get to peel those bad boys off I've worked up a smell that makes me leave my boots outside. How do you keep your feet from ruining your footwear?" ]

[ "Usually shoes get nasty because they don't have enough time to dry out before you stick your feet in them and get them wet again. \n\nYou may consider getting another pair and wear 1 pair every other day. That will give the shoes enough time to dry out between uses. \n\nSomething else to consider is to putting a couple crumpled up newspaper sheets or a rice sock in your shoes overnight to help them dry. \n\nAnd definitely dump some Gold Bond or Baking Soda in your shoes to cut the smell. ", "Lipton (or whatevers cheap) Tea bags. Sounds stupid but it absorbs the odor and prevents further stank. Just remember to take them out each morning or you'll have broken bags and a big ol mess.", "Assured Foot Powder Medicated from Dollar Tree. Used it for years and feet went from stinky to nice. May be be cheap ($1 US) but it is the best. Put it in my shoes every night after use and doesn't matter if leather or sneakers, works great. Blue plastic bottle. Best think I have ever used.\n", "There are activated charcoal inserts available as well. You can stick them in your shoes overnight to help dry and absorb odors.", "Take a pair of stockings and fill the feet with cat litter. Slide the cat litter filled feet into your stinky boots or shoes. The cat litter will absorb the stink.", "Fill clean socks with baking soda. Store soda socks in the shoes when shoes are not in use.\n\nAlso, see if the foot liner can be removed and washed." ]

[ 8, 3, 3, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "how to soundproof apartment from neighbors' voices? I rent, so I can't just reconstruct the walls. I moved into a new place with a 12 month lease, I really like the place, and as soon as I move in I find there is a loud screaming baby nextdoor and you can literally hear it and the neighbors talking directly through the walls. It's so loud I can make out what they're saying half the time. I'm pissed. Is there anything I can do to soundproof the place?\n\n", "how to soundproof apartment from neighbors' voices? I rent, so I can't just reconstruct the walls. I moved into a new place with a 12 month lease, I really like the place, and as soon as I move in I find there is a loud screaming baby nextdoor and you can literally hear it and the neighbors talking directly through the walls. It's so loud I can make out what they're saying half the time. I'm pissed. Is there anything I can do to soundproof the place?\n\n", "how to soundproof apartment from neighbors' voices? I rent, so I can't just reconstruct the walls. I moved into a new place with a 12 month lease, I really like the place, and as soon as I move in I find there is a loud screaming baby nextdoor and you can literally hear it and the neighbors talking directly through the walls. It's so loud I can make out what they're saying half the time. I'm pissed. Is there anything I can do to soundproof the place?\n\n", "how to soundproof apartment from neighbors' voices? I rent, so I can't just reconstruct the walls. I moved into a new place with a 12 month lease, I really like the place, and as soon as I move in I find there is a loud screaming baby nextdoor and you can literally hear it and the neighbors talking directly through the walls. It's so loud I can make out what they're saying half the time. I'm pissed. Is there anything I can do to soundproof the place?\n\n", "how to soundproof apartment from neighbors' voices? I rent, so I can't just reconstruct the walls. I moved into a new place with a 12 month lease, I really like the place, and as soon as I move in I find there is a loud screaming baby nextdoor and you can literally hear it and the neighbors talking directly through the walls. It's so loud I can make out what they're saying half the time. I'm pissed. Is there anything I can do to soundproof the place?\n\n", "how to soundproof apartment from neighbors' voices? I rent, so I can't just reconstruct the walls. I moved into a new place with a 12 month lease, I really like the place, and as soon as I move in I find there is a loud screaming baby nextdoor and you can literally hear it and the neighbors talking directly through the walls. It's so loud I can make out what they're saying half the time. I'm pissed. Is there anything I can do to soundproof the place?\n\n", "how to soundproof apartment from neighbors' voices? I rent, so I can't just reconstruct the walls. I moved into a new place with a 12 month lease, I really like the place, and as soon as I move in I find there is a loud screaming baby nextdoor and you can literally hear it and the neighbors talking directly through the walls. It's so loud I can make out what they're saying half the time. I'm pissed. Is there anything I can do to soundproof the place?\n\n", "how to soundproof apartment from neighbors' voices? I rent, so I can't just reconstruct the walls. I moved into a new place with a 12 month lease, I really like the place, and as soon as I move in I find there is a loud screaming baby nextdoor and you can literally hear it and the neighbors talking directly through the walls. It's so loud I can make out what they're saying half the time. I'm pissed. Is there anything I can do to soundproof the place?\n\n", "how to soundproof apartment from neighbors' voices? I rent, so I can't just reconstruct the walls. I moved into a new place with a 12 month lease, I really like the place, and as soon as I move in I find there is a loud screaming baby nextdoor and you can literally hear it and the neighbors talking directly through the walls. It's so loud I can make out what they're saying half the time. I'm pissed. Is there anything I can do to soundproof the place?\n\n", "how to soundproof apartment from neighbors' voices? I rent, so I can't just reconstruct the walls. I moved into a new place with a 12 month lease, I really like the place, and as soon as I move in I find there is a loud screaming baby nextdoor and you can literally hear it and the neighbors talking directly through the walls. It's so loud I can make out what they're saying half the time. I'm pissed. Is there anything I can do to soundproof the place?\n\n" ]

[ "When this happened to me I explained to my landlord the situation and asked if he would consider building another layer of wall. We ended up splitting it 50/50 it was like $400 but it was so worth it.", "When apartment living, I used several options that helped. 1. I bought a $10 blanket and hung it on the wall. 2. For the ceiling, I hung an inexpensive sheet from 6 points so it billowed down. Both seemed to reflect enough sound to reduce its impact on me. 3. White noise/music to muffle the rest. 4. Get to know them if possible. If they are nice people, then you tend to not notice it as much.", "It will be fairly pricy, but you can use mass loaded vinyl (MLV). This is what they put in the walls for sound studios, and also what is used to deaden the sound in higher end vehicles. \n\nYou probably want to get at least the 2lb/sqft stuff. The heavier the better. Just get some rolls of it and hang it on your walls. \n\nIf you really want to go all out, you could do a full 3-stage sound deadening treatment. Stage 1 is a resonance muffler like kilmat. Stage 2 is a decoupling layer (reflectix works good for this), and finally the mass loaded vinyl on top.\n\nYou won't hear shit with a full 3 stage treatment.\n\n[MLV](https://www.amazon.com/Loaded-Barrier-Square-Soundproofing-Acoustic/dp/B07Z6M63QC/)\n\n[Kilmat](https://www.amazon.com/KILMAT-Deadening-Automotive-Insulation-dampening/dp/B092DMQ5NF/)\n\n[Reflectix](https://www.amazon.com/Reflectix-BP48010-ubble-Pack-Insulation/dp/B000BPAULS/)\n\n", "AU CONTRAIRE MON FRÈRE\n\nI bet your landlord didn't have the walls properly insulated. When I was younger I had an apartment like this, I could hear my neighbor punching in numbers on his microwave. Luckily it was a square studio will plenty of square footage. \n\nIf your apartment is fairly rudimentary against your neighbors; Find the studs in the wall and reframe over those walls. It should look like a giant sideways ladder. Then throw some rockwhool in that bitch, drywall it up, then all that's left is finish work. Tape, spackle, sand, paint these types of things. \n\nThe already existing wall (since it's hollow, not insulated) will act as a sound buffer; along with the new wall insulated by rockwool, which is generally for exterior walls but is a great sound proofer.\n\nHeres where it may get tricky. If there are recepticals in that wall, (outlets) simply turn off the circuit breaker and extend them out to your new wall by splicing in some jumper wires. Its just additional finish work from there. \n\nYoutube is king for all of this and will be a nice project for you to learn some basic carpentry and wiring. Your landlord will never know and if he says something ask him wtf he's talking about?\n\n", "Reducing sound transmission can be achieved in numerous ways, usually a combination. Most you won't be able to change, like distance, more mass in the structure, isolation of the structure, insulation. You're really only left with air tightness. Adding foam or rubber strips around door jambs and door sweeps at the bottom will significantly reduce noise into and out of a room. It's also very cheap and easy to do. If you do that in your house and convince your neighbours to do the same it might have a very noticeable effect. But windows are harder to do and obviously you don't want to go blocking air vents.\n\nBut if the walls are so thin you can clearly hear regular speaking levels then screaming babies isn't something you're ever going to reduce to a comfortable level.", "Make a wall of used pizza boxes and beer cans.\n\nAlso, it might be grounds for breaking your lease but I'm just a guy on the internet.", "White noise? Turning the tv on? Play music? At least you have the opportunity to engage in random conversation at your leisure", "Move to a house. People who live in apartments..STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT NOISE. You live in large buildings with OTHER PEOPLE !!!!!", "When I was a hobo, I rented out a tool shed at the base of a radio tower for a few months. The only real issue I had with it was that there was a diesel generator that kicked in in the middle of the night for no reason like 4 feet from my head. \n\nHomemade sound absorption panels made from 2x4 framing and thrift store bath towels reduced the sound from \"deafening\" to \"can sleep through it if I've got a fan on to overpower it\"", "In order to stop sound you need as much thickness and density as possible. Thin materials won't work. An additional wall will need to be installed with rock wool or another thick dense material." ]

[ 6, 6, 6, 6, 5, 5, 3, 3, 1, 1 ]

[ "Make a towel more absorbent. Doing a search, there are a lot of solutions for washing old towels (don't use fabric softener, vinegar, etc), but nothing for a new towel. I bought some hand towels a few months ago, and they are terrible. It's the same brand as my bath towel, and it's great. I've put the new towels through wash cycles. Dyer. Air drying. Vinegar. Nothing helps. Any ideas?", "Make a towel more absorbent. Doing a search, there are a lot of solutions for washing old towels (don't use fabric softener, vinegar, etc), but nothing for a new towel. I bought some hand towels a few months ago, and they are terrible. It's the same brand as my bath towel, and it's great. I've put the new towels through wash cycles. Dyer. Air drying. Vinegar. Nothing helps. Any ideas?" ]

[ "First run them through the wash with HOT water, no detergent, and add 1-2 cups of baking soda at the start of the wash. Let run through full cycle. Then wash again with 1-2 cups vinegar, no detergent, on HOT water. Dry however you like (dryer or line dry). I've found that using the baking soda first really makes a difference. Also, it's true, the towels will get better over time (as long as you don't use softener).", "What I've always found is that towels become much more absorbent and softer over time. They're usually covered with chemicals when they are brand new to avoid getting musty on shelves. \n\nI've never had a brand new towel that I've been pleased with. I don't buy $30 towels, but the ones from Walmart for $8 are great once they get used a bit! Just like wine, they get better with age." ]

[ 2, 1 ]

[ "A good guide for how to whistle loudly (like, with two fingers) Because man, I've tried a bunch and I just can't make sense of it.\n\n(Related question: To whistle loudly, does one have to be able to curl one's tongue? Because I can't.)", "A good guide for how to whistle loudly (like, with two fingers) Because man, I've tried a bunch and I just can't make sense of it.\n\n(Related question: To whistle loudly, does one have to be able to curl one's tongue? Because I can't.)" ]

[ "Step 1. Wash your hands\n\nRelax your tongue put it about 1 inch out of your mouth\n\nMake an \"okay sign\" with your hand\n\nWith your thumb and index finger gently push your tongue almost all the way to the roof of your mouth while blowing \n\nTry different angles until you whistle", "You can pinch your bottom lip and inhale to whistle loudly, won’t require you to curl your tongue at all." ]

[ 12, 1 ]

[ "Advice for \"jack of all trades\" people. Anything from career advice to how it can be demonstrated on a resume other than \"quick learner/multifaceted\" would be greatly appreciated. ", "Advice for \"jack of all trades\" people. Anything from career advice to how it can be demonstrated on a resume other than \"quick learner/multifaceted\" would be greatly appreciated. ", "Advice for \"jack of all trades\" people. Anything from career advice to how it can be demonstrated on a resume other than \"quick learner/multifaceted\" would be greatly appreciated. ", "Advice for \"jack of all trades\" people. Anything from career advice to how it can be demonstrated on a resume other than \"quick learner/multifaceted\" would be greatly appreciated. " ]

[ "List concrete examples of things you've quickly learned and were able to deliver on. \n\nYou want to show conversion. Learning is one thing. Execution based on the learning is another.", "You should try and avoid using the jack of all trades moniker in the first place. While it sounds great initially, it usually signals to people doing the hiring that you've never specialized in something long enough to get really good at it. You should, instead, list concrete examples of things that you know and have delivered on. If it shows a large breadth and depth of knowledge in the process you'll get your point across without invoking the crappy connotations associated with it.", "a) i think the verb isn't \"to list it\", but rather how to \"demonstrate\" it. You can come with a myriad ways to massage teh language into something other than \"multi-faceted\" or what have you. (also, quick learner isn't necessarly a trait of \"jack of all trades\" - I'm pretty decent at a lot of things, but learning fast isn't necessarily one of them.) So take a look at your \"hobbies & interests\" Section, if you havae one. you should be able to have that highlight your various skillsets.\n\nb) spend a few hours sifting through the hundreds of thousands of resumes you can find on the internet (/r/resumes is a good place to start.) After I did this, I ended up spitting out 3 or four different new versions that highlighted diff. information in diff. ways, and trashed my 15 year old version. See what options exist out there, and you'll find a way to show off what you want to show off.", "First off, there really isn't a \"Jack of all trades\" person.\n\nBecause the volume of knowledge required to know everything about everything can't be fit into the limited memory capacity of a human being.\n\nWhat a \"Jack of all trades\" really is is someone that knows some basics about many things, mostly in the construction field, but really isn't a specialist in any one of them.\n\nYour best to describe what you know, how many years of experience or training and how it can be used at the job your applying for.\n\nYou can also state your familiar with so and so, if the need arises.\n\n" ]

[ 4, 3, 2, 1 ]

[ "How to minimize bed squeaking I'm attempting to buy a bed on Amazon, but every bed I look at has complaints of squeaking. I think every bed I've had has squeaked, at least during \"relations\", are there beds that don't squeak? Or, is there some way to stop beds from squeaking?", "How to minimize bed squeaking I'm attempting to buy a bed on Amazon, but every bed I look at has complaints of squeaking. I think every bed I've had has squeaked, at least during \"relations\", are there beds that don't squeak? Or, is there some way to stop beds from squeaking?", "How to minimize bed squeaking I'm attempting to buy a bed on Amazon, but every bed I look at has complaints of squeaking. I think every bed I've had has squeaked, at least during \"relations\", are there beds that don't squeak? Or, is there some way to stop beds from squeaking?" ]

[ "After researching the matter for a bit, I found out that there is no sure way to stop the squeaking. So I used a combination of putting used socks at the bindings and tightening the screws on the joints and spraying a little WD40 on them. It seems to work, for now.", "We have a memory foam and have never had an issue with squeaking.\n\nAlso, make sure it's not actually your bed frame. Slats or the frame itself can be the cause of squeaking.", "Have a platform bed made of sturdy wood and dont use a box spring. Use a padded headboard and put it up against an exterior wall. Works for us and not terribly $$$. Good luck. " ]

[ 5, 2, 2 ]

[ "How to Wake Up If You Simply Can't So I'm convinced I have something like Dysania or Clinomania. Regardless of how much sleep I get, regardless of how much I desperately want or need to wake up, I can't. It's become a massive problem and every responsible thing, from loud alarms to adequate sleep have failed. I also wake up, and then involuntarily fall asleep again. I do a lot of stuff and need to follow my schedule. How do I fix this? Suggestions?", "How to Wake Up If You Simply Can't So I'm convinced I have something like Dysania or Clinomania. Regardless of how much sleep I get, regardless of how much I desperately want or need to wake up, I can't. It's become a massive problem and every responsible thing, from loud alarms to adequate sleep have failed. I also wake up, and then involuntarily fall asleep again. I do a lot of stuff and need to follow my schedule. How do I fix this? Suggestions?", "How to Wake Up If You Simply Can't So I'm convinced I have something like Dysania or Clinomania. Regardless of how much sleep I get, regardless of how much I desperately want or need to wake up, I can't. It's become a massive problem and every responsible thing, from loud alarms to adequate sleep have failed. I also wake up, and then involuntarily fall asleep again. I do a lot of stuff and need to follow my schedule. How do I fix this? Suggestions?", "How to Wake Up If You Simply Can't So I'm convinced I have something like Dysania or Clinomania. Regardless of how much sleep I get, regardless of how much I desperately want or need to wake up, I can't. It's become a massive problem and every responsible thing, from loud alarms to adequate sleep have failed. I also wake up, and then involuntarily fall asleep again. I do a lot of stuff and need to follow my schedule. How do I fix this? Suggestions?", "How to Wake Up If You Simply Can't So I'm convinced I have something like Dysania or Clinomania. Regardless of how much sleep I get, regardless of how much I desperately want or need to wake up, I can't. It's become a massive problem and every responsible thing, from loud alarms to adequate sleep have failed. I also wake up, and then involuntarily fall asleep again. I do a lot of stuff and need to follow my schedule. How do I fix this? Suggestions?", "How to Wake Up If You Simply Can't So I'm convinced I have something like Dysania or Clinomania. Regardless of how much sleep I get, regardless of how much I desperately want or need to wake up, I can't. It's become a massive problem and every responsible thing, from loud alarms to adequate sleep have failed. I also wake up, and then involuntarily fall asleep again. I do a lot of stuff and need to follow my schedule. How do I fix this? Suggestions?", "How to Wake Up If You Simply Can't So I'm convinced I have something like Dysania or Clinomania. Regardless of how much sleep I get, regardless of how much I desperately want or need to wake up, I can't. It's become a massive problem and every responsible thing, from loud alarms to adequate sleep have failed. I also wake up, and then involuntarily fall asleep again. I do a lot of stuff and need to follow my schedule. How do I fix this? Suggestions?", "How to Wake Up If You Simply Can't So I'm convinced I have something like Dysania or Clinomania. Regardless of how much sleep I get, regardless of how much I desperately want or need to wake up, I can't. It's become a massive problem and every responsible thing, from loud alarms to adequate sleep have failed. I also wake up, and then involuntarily fall asleep again. I do a lot of stuff and need to follow my schedule. How do I fix this? Suggestions?" ]

[ "Go and talk to a doctor about it, they‘ll do a sleep analysis and will find out what‘s wrong and what you can do to improve the situation.", "If you can invest in those Smart Lights have them linked to all turn on when you're alarm goes off. A house full of bright light might help convince your body. But I'd suggest conducting a sleep study anyways to make sure it's not something medical.", "8 hours sleep each night and it needs to be the same 8 hours. If you are doing g thid and eating right go an see a doc.", "I use an alarm called \"Alarmy.\" You can't turn it off until you take a picture of a specfic object or do math problems etc. \n\nI'm currently doing the following. No snooze, I have to take a picture of the coffee pot in the kitchen, my phone is rubber banded to my wireless charger so I can't just grab it and lay back down to sleep through the alarm, I put the remote to my LED light strip into one of the rubber bands so I can turn it on and get some light. \n\nI also found that my ideal sleep is 6 hours, whenever I oversleep or undersleep I have a hard time getting up. Waking up cold also makes it hard to stay up, I ended up sleeping in a hoodie isntead of a tshirt / shirtless. \n\nLastly, my phsycologist said that a lot of people oversleep because they are avoiding something. Maybe your issue is that you really hate going into work. He also said that it helps to fall asleep thinking \" I will get up and stay in the morning\" when you fall asleep thinking about your goals you wake up thinking about them. ", "I work a rotating shift, 6am-6pm for 2 weeks, then 6pm-6am for 2 weeks.\n\nHow do i get normal sleep? I'm tired all the time.", "I know you said you can't get up and often fall back asleep. I agree with everyone else you should get a sleep study and see what's going on. I suffer from pretty severe insomnia and I often have trouble getting up. To fix this, besides the strongest dose of Ambien my doc will give me, I use my phone as my alarm. I changed the alarm tone to one that is very high pitch like a smoke detector going off. Also most phones give the option to gradually increase the volume from 0 to 100% over so many seconds. I do 60 so I have incentive to get up before my ears start bleeding. I change my alarm tone once a week to keep me from getting use to it. I cycle through 4 different tones that are very high pitch. Besides this I place my alarm on the opposite side of my room so I'm forced to get up and grab it. Just a few things to try if you haven't already while your waiting on a sleep study.", "There is only one option, Just get out of bed cause you need to.\nIt's never easy, or fun or what ever.\nIf i stay in bed, i lose my job and then im fucked. ", "Sleep less, start going to bed early say 9:30pm exactly, wake up even earlier say4 am, should be about 6 hours of sleep, by 9:30 the next night you will be tired, continue this habit until you can function on very little sleep. Being tired by the end of the night will force your body to have a restful sleep on with very little time .\n\nTiming your REM cycles plays an important role in this, when you sleep you are constantly in and out of these deep sleep cycles. Get a simple fitness tracker, I use a Fitbit flex it’s cheap but waterproof and very effective at timing sleep cycles.\n\nSource, I sleep 5 hours and 15 minutes every night. In bed by 10 and up at 3:15 am." ]

[ 6, 4, 4, 2, 1, 1, -1, -3 ]

[ "Getting into contact with someone you've not seen for a long time. Hi reddit, so I'm in quite an odd situation. I study at university in a city away from my home city, and realised through social media that someone that I went to school with until the age of 9 or so has now moved to the same city. I haven't spoke to this person since then, the only contact being that I had them added on Facebook.\n\nOver the last few weeks I've been thinking that it might be nice to get in contact with them and try and convince them to have a little reunion to get to know each other again and the 10 years between our last meeting. How do you think I should go about making first contact?\n\nThanks!", "Getting into contact with someone you've not seen for a long time. Hi reddit, so I'm in quite an odd situation. I study at university in a city away from my home city, and realised through social media that someone that I went to school with until the age of 9 or so has now moved to the same city. I haven't spoke to this person since then, the only contact being that I had them added on Facebook.\n\nOver the last few weeks I've been thinking that it might be nice to get in contact with them and try and convince them to have a little reunion to get to know each other again and the 10 years between our last meeting. How do you think I should go about making first contact?\n\nThanks!" ]

[ "Send a Facebook message: \"Bob, Facebook tells me you now live near me. It has been so long since we've spoken and seen each other. I'd like to fix that. How about coffee next Tuesday?\"", "Nothing simpler, I did it just this week.\n\n\"Hey! Anon! I was thinking yesterday, it's been x years since I saw you! It would be awesome to catch up. Free for a coffee/dinner/drink next week?\"" ]

[ 2, 1 ]

[ "Any job interview tips? I’ve had multiple job interviews and they’ve all fallen flat. Any advice that could help me land a job?", "Any job interview tips? I’ve had multiple job interviews and they’ve all fallen flat. Any advice that could help me land a job?", "Any job interview tips? I’ve had multiple job interviews and they’ve all fallen flat. Any advice that could help me land a job?", "Any job interview tips? I’ve had multiple job interviews and they’ve all fallen flat. Any advice that could help me land a job?", "Any job interview tips? I’ve had multiple job interviews and they’ve all fallen flat. Any advice that could help me land a job?", "Any job interview tips? I’ve had multiple job interviews and they’ve all fallen flat. Any advice that could help me land a job?", "Any job interview tips? I’ve had multiple job interviews and they’ve all fallen flat. Any advice that could help me land a job?", "Any job interview tips? I’ve had multiple job interviews and they’ve all fallen flat. Any advice that could help me land a job?", "Any job interview tips? I’ve had multiple job interviews and they’ve all fallen flat. Any advice that could help me land a job?" ]

[ "How many interviews and what kind of jobs? I was so nervous the last time I had to do interviews that I failed 3-4 of them in a row just because I NEEDED the job so badly. I had given up all hope by the last one and it went fine. No one likes the smell of desperation.", "Do some research into the company's values the job requirements and the interviewer if possible. You could pepper the conversation with bits of the values and job requirements, and find a common ground to connect with your interviewer. It would be great if you have anecdotes to support the items you mention, even if its from your schooling days.\n\nAlso think of questions you want to ask about the role. They are interviewing you as much as you are checking whether it would be a great fit for you. They need to sell the role to you too.", "Why do you think they've fallen flat? You did not get an offer, you had difficulties answering some questions, you felt nonverbal feedback indicating you're not at the level the interviewer expected?", "Eye contact. Clear concise language, try not to blather on. A good, firm but not fierce, handshake. Dress professionally appropriate to the job - collared shirt is a minimum.", "If you're getting turned down for entry-level retail and grocery store jobs (as you've stated), you're going to have to tell us more about how you're presenting yourself during an interview. Are you sitting up straight? Are you affable? Do you come across as willing to work steadily with minimal supervision? \n\nI have no idea what your presentation is like, but I can imagine if someone is slouching, not making much eye contact, responding like a robot or like a sullen teenager, or appearing wholly uninterested in the job and in the person interviewing, then yeah that's a recipe for failure. \n\nImagine the sort of person who would be the perfect candidate. Now try being that person in a mirror, responding to the same questions you've been asked at your 5 interviews. What aspects don't line up? Then consider how you can present better.", "Have you contacted your local unemployment agency? They have significant resources that you can advantage that will increase your saleability.", "Contact the interviewer or proper job listing contact and ask if may receive feedback as you were truly looking forward to the opportunity to work there and would like to know how to better yourself as a future candidate", "Try to match/mirror the energy level of the interviewer. (ie, be calm and relaxed if they are.. or show some energy if they are doing the same. Same goes for their body posture, if they are leaning in, lean in, if they are leaning back, lean back a bit.\nAlso, ask them questions. (What do you love about the job? Tell me about your career path? What advice would you give to someone joining your company? Can you describe the qualities you are looking for in your ideal candidate?) \nHave 'your story' planned out and when telling it, add examples which would highlight applicable skills for the job.\nSmile a lot. Make eye contact. Repeat the persons name when meeting them, say it at least two more times during the interview.\nThank them for taking the time out of their busy day to interview you. \nCast a wide net, apply to more jobs than you think you need to. Each interview is practice for you and you will get better each time.", "My tip would be to trust your gut instinct of you feel something isn't quite right, and be prepared to walk away.\n\nI know not everyone has that luxury... But if you see red flags and think chances are high you can get interviews better places, don't put yourself through the torture of an abusive employer.\n\nKnow your worth, but don't be cocky. \n\nDon't lie - if they ask a question that you can't answer just say that you can't answer that right now but you're a quick learner and willing to put in the effort to get up to speed." ]

[ 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "get the dank musky smell out of a car that had its windows open in the rain. I left my windows open in the rain a few days ago. I took precautions to prevent mold, and all my seats are now dry. However it still smells like a dank basement. Any way to clear the smell out? ", "get the dank musky smell out of a car that had its windows open in the rain. I left my windows open in the rain a few days ago. I took precautions to prevent mold, and all my seats are now dry. However it still smells like a dank basement. Any way to clear the smell out? ", "get the dank musky smell out of a car that had its windows open in the rain. I left my windows open in the rain a few days ago. I took precautions to prevent mold, and all my seats are now dry. However it still smells like a dank basement. Any way to clear the smell out? ", "get the dank musky smell out of a car that had its windows open in the rain. I left my windows open in the rain a few days ago. I took precautions to prevent mold, and all my seats are now dry. However it still smells like a dank basement. Any way to clear the smell out? ", "get the dank musky smell out of a car that had its windows open in the rain. I left my windows open in the rain a few days ago. I took precautions to prevent mold, and all my seats are now dry. However it still smells like a dank basement. Any way to clear the smell out? ", "get the dank musky smell out of a car that had its windows open in the rain. I left my windows open in the rain a few days ago. I took precautions to prevent mold, and all my seats are now dry. However it still smells like a dank basement. Any way to clear the smell out? " ]

[ "1. Dilute vinegar in a spray bottle and spray interior. Vinegar destroys stinky molecules and mold. Rub into fabric. \n2. Dilute baking soda in water with a few drops of fabric softener. Spray interior of car. Baking soda destroys vinegar. \n3. After drying, vacuum.", "Place unused charcoal in an open container in your car for a week or two. For better results...after a few days, take the charcoal out and place under intense sunlight for a few hours before putting it in your car again. hope it helps OP.", "That smell likely indicates that your carpet is still wet underneath. Many vehicles have a thick foam attached underneath the carpet and that foam retains water. Unfortunately the only good way to dry it out is to remove the carpet or at the very least lift up the edges and stuff lots of newspaper underneath to soak up all the moisture. Professional detail shops may have an ozone generator and this can help neutralize odours as well.", "I used to have a car with automatic windows that chose when they would function correctly. After a torrential downpour one afternoon, my floorboards were completely soaked. I used a shopvac and placed dryer sheets under the seats and covered the floorboards. It seemed to work well.", "Get a car dehumidifier, as the smell is most likely because of the moisture in seats/carpet. Another bonus of it is that your car won't steam up again! ", "Air circulation is key. Keep your windows open as much as possible on hot and sunny days. I also placed a few well sized fans around my car, angled towards the floors and seats, with the doors open on hot and sunny days. Smell eventually disappeared within a week" ]

[ 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How do you \"slow down\" and stop stuttering. I have a slight stutter and its only really noticeable when im excited about what im talking about, and its a bit inconvenient.", "How do you \"slow down\" and stop stuttering. I have a slight stutter and its only really noticeable when im excited about what im talking about, and its a bit inconvenient.", "How do you \"slow down\" and stop stuttering. I have a slight stutter and its only really noticeable when im excited about what im talking about, and its a bit inconvenient.", "How do you \"slow down\" and stop stuttering. I have a slight stutter and its only really noticeable when im excited about what im talking about, and its a bit inconvenient.", "How do you \"slow down\" and stop stuttering. I have a slight stutter and its only really noticeable when im excited about what im talking about, and its a bit inconvenient.", "How do you \"slow down\" and stop stuttering. I have a slight stutter and its only really noticeable when im excited about what im talking about, and its a bit inconvenient." ]

[ "I used to have the same issue and I know the frustration. \n\nIt took me a LONG time to realize this, but the causes of my stuttering were always very much in my subconscious mind. My stuttering usually came from a conflicting thought process that had nothing to do with my ability to speak, but caused \"mental hesitation\", which resulted in a momentary (or sometimes a prolonged) stutter or speech block.\n\nFor me, the solution was to give myself permission to be myself and speak at my own pace (which I found, is easier said than done). It boiled down to more of a confidence issue than anything - I needed to concentrate less on \"sounding perfect\" and simply allow my thoughts to flow out verbally, in the same way that I can breathe without overthinking it, my speech should work the same way.\n\nSmooth speech happens when we're relaxed, and most people are relaxed when they're confident in who they are and what we're saying. Try to look at your verbal communication not as a performance for which you need validation, but as a natural expression of what you're thinking.", "I use to be an instructor in the military. I had an accent and they ride me hard to get rid of it. I developed a stutter because I was always trying to focus on not speaking without my accent. Like you when I got excited I started to stutter. It took me years of catching myself stutter, pausing, slowing down and continuing. It's difficult but you can beat it. ", "I find that when I'm excited, the words often come out of my mouth before my head has fully processed them and decided what I'm saying - If you slow down everything and make an effort to cut out any filler words like um and ah, you should find yourself communicating more succinctly. Maybe practice it when you're in a no pressure situation?\n\nI used to jabber away and found that with a couple of seconds more thinking time, I will produce a sentence which is more eloquent than just opening my mouth and letting the words fall out in whatever order they desire. ", "If I can't seem to get a word out properly I stop trying to say that word and use a synonym or rephrase the sentence. I don't know if that's helpful since its hard to get out of the loop and it can sound abrupt since in order to break the loop its best to think of a new word that doesn't include the sound that's troubling you or at least doesn't start with it.", "If it's a true stutter, I read somewhere that you should practice singing, and then kind of pretend to sing when you're speaking normally. Maybe you can find something on that technique.", "I used to go to speech therapy for my stutter, basically what I was told was I should be conscious of my words because I was speaking without thinking and try to breathe between my sentences so I had a stopping/slowdown point. I also opened up a lot to this therapist about my problems with my mom because she was someone our family knew, but not well enough to where I felt she would tattle. After this my stutter got better, maybe it was the speech therapy, or the emotional therapy, or a combo of both. So if you have any personal issues now might be the time to deal with it." ]

[ 4, 4, 4, 3, 2, 2 ]

[ "How to put in eyedrops It's allergy season again, and I'm a pro at getting eyedrop fluid running down my cheeks. All the advice I find online is in the form of some dumbass list that tells me things like how it's better to aim for the outside of the eyes, or how often I should take them. But as for landing the drop on the damn eyeball, the only good advice I've seen us to get someone else to do it, which isn't always practical. \n \nCan anyone help me out with tips to help aim right? I try standing or sitting, and try my best to keep my eyelid as wide open as possible, but it still takes me 7 or 8 goes before I get anything in. Is there a technique that I could try?", "How to put in eyedrops It's allergy season again, and I'm a pro at getting eyedrop fluid running down my cheeks. All the advice I find online is in the form of some dumbass list that tells me things like how it's better to aim for the outside of the eyes, or how often I should take them. But as for landing the drop on the damn eyeball, the only good advice I've seen us to get someone else to do it, which isn't always practical. \n \nCan anyone help me out with tips to help aim right? I try standing or sitting, and try my best to keep my eyelid as wide open as possible, but it still takes me 7 or 8 goes before I get anything in. Is there a technique that I could try?", "How to put in eyedrops It's allergy season again, and I'm a pro at getting eyedrop fluid running down my cheeks. All the advice I find online is in the form of some dumbass list that tells me things like how it's better to aim for the outside of the eyes, or how often I should take them. But as for landing the drop on the damn eyeball, the only good advice I've seen us to get someone else to do it, which isn't always practical. \n \nCan anyone help me out with tips to help aim right? I try standing or sitting, and try my best to keep my eyelid as wide open as possible, but it still takes me 7 or 8 goes before I get anything in. Is there a technique that I could try?", "How to put in eyedrops It's allergy season again, and I'm a pro at getting eyedrop fluid running down my cheeks. All the advice I find online is in the form of some dumbass list that tells me things like how it's better to aim for the outside of the eyes, or how often I should take them. But as for landing the drop on the damn eyeball, the only good advice I've seen us to get someone else to do it, which isn't always practical. \n \nCan anyone help me out with tips to help aim right? I try standing or sitting, and try my best to keep my eyelid as wide open as possible, but it still takes me 7 or 8 goes before I get anything in. Is there a technique that I could try?", "How to put in eyedrops It's allergy season again, and I'm a pro at getting eyedrop fluid running down my cheeks. All the advice I find online is in the form of some dumbass list that tells me things like how it's better to aim for the outside of the eyes, or how often I should take them. But as for landing the drop on the damn eyeball, the only good advice I've seen us to get someone else to do it, which isn't always practical. \n \nCan anyone help me out with tips to help aim right? I try standing or sitting, and try my best to keep my eyelid as wide open as possible, but it still takes me 7 or 8 goes before I get anything in. Is there a technique that I could try?", "How to put in eyedrops It's allergy season again, and I'm a pro at getting eyedrop fluid running down my cheeks. All the advice I find online is in the form of some dumbass list that tells me things like how it's better to aim for the outside of the eyes, or how often I should take them. But as for landing the drop on the damn eyeball, the only good advice I've seen us to get someone else to do it, which isn't always practical. \n \nCan anyone help me out with tips to help aim right? I try standing or sitting, and try my best to keep my eyelid as wide open as possible, but it still takes me 7 or 8 goes before I get anything in. Is there a technique that I could try?", "How to put in eyedrops It's allergy season again, and I'm a pro at getting eyedrop fluid running down my cheeks. All the advice I find online is in the form of some dumbass list that tells me things like how it's better to aim for the outside of the eyes, or how often I should take them. But as for landing the drop on the damn eyeball, the only good advice I've seen us to get someone else to do it, which isn't always practical. \n \nCan anyone help me out with tips to help aim right? I try standing or sitting, and try my best to keep my eyelid as wide open as possible, but it still takes me 7 or 8 goes before I get anything in. Is there a technique that I could try?" ]

[ "If you were to put eye drops into you right eye, follow this procedure. Aim the dropper at the far right hand corner of your eye whilst looking at it. Now look at your nose with the same eye. Gently squeeze until you feel a drop or two. Repeat with the opposite eye. ", "You know that pink part of your eye, nearest your nose? Aim your drops there while lying down, close your eyes, and dab with a tissue. If you're having trouble aiming, put it closer to your eye.\n\nI've been using eyedrops every day for the past 6 years as a result of OK lenses. :)", "Pull lower lid down enough to make a \"pocket\". Put drops into that pocket. Blink ... a lot.\n\nSource: Several decades wearing contacts and still unable to \"bombs away\" rewetting drops right onto my eyeball.", "If you're not squeamish about having something in your eye you can try this:\n\n* Insert the dropper as close to your tearduct as possible ([the dropped should fit in the little dip](http://eyelidsandface.com/images/Tear%20Duct%20Surgery.jpg))\n* Close your eye\n* Squeeze a drop or two (or however much is needed but you usually won't need to apply much with this technique) and lean your head in the direction of the eye your put drops in (eg. right eye -> lean head right, left eye -> lean head left) to allow the liquid to spread along your eyelid as its closed.\n* Blink your eye a few times\n\nYou should be good. This was actually a LPT from a while back, I just couldn't find it. Hope it helps.", "I used to suck a eyedrops until I had lasik done.\nThe best advice I can give is to keep your hand on your cheek to balance it.\nThe moment you do a hover hand you lose all sense of where it's going to land.", "I just put the dropper against the side of my nose near the eye, drop it and let it roll into my eye. You actually drop the liquid right on the skin near the eye and it spreads, near the tear duct. Basically drop it a the top of the[ spermy looking thing on the nose](http://omardurrani.com/images/DCR.jpg)", "Here's what my eye doctor taught me, and it works perfectly every time: \nLean your head back and aim the dropper at your eye, right at your pupil. Like, stare directly at it, such that if you were to actually squeeze a drop at this point, it would be uncomfortable. Then look away from your nose (ie for your right eye, look right, and vice versa). Then squeeze however many drops you need. Bullseye!" ]

[ 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "how to say no to \"Do you have any question or comment?\" without being awkward? This question bothers me a lot in interviews and meetings. I don't really have anything to say when someone ask me with full expectation to ask her something interesting. I have no questions or comments whatsoever. How do I politely and cleverly let her know I have nothing to say? ", "how to say no to \"Do you have any question or comment?\" without being awkward? This question bothers me a lot in interviews and meetings. I don't really have anything to say when someone ask me with full expectation to ask her something interesting. I have no questions or comments whatsoever. How do I politely and cleverly let her know I have nothing to say? ", "how to say no to \"Do you have any question or comment?\" without being awkward? This question bothers me a lot in interviews and meetings. I don't really have anything to say when someone ask me with full expectation to ask her something interesting. I have no questions or comments whatsoever. How do I politely and cleverly let her know I have nothing to say? ", "how to say no to \"Do you have any question or comment?\" without being awkward? This question bothers me a lot in interviews and meetings. I don't really have anything to say when someone ask me with full expectation to ask her something interesting. I have no questions or comments whatsoever. How do I politely and cleverly let her know I have nothing to say? ", "how to say no to \"Do you have any question or comment?\" without being awkward? This question bothers me a lot in interviews and meetings. I don't really have anything to say when someone ask me with full expectation to ask her something interesting. I have no questions or comments whatsoever. How do I politely and cleverly let her know I have nothing to say? ", "how to say no to \"Do you have any question or comment?\" without being awkward? This question bothers me a lot in interviews and meetings. I don't really have anything to say when someone ask me with full expectation to ask her something interesting. I have no questions or comments whatsoever. How do I politely and cleverly let her know I have nothing to say? ", "how to say no to \"Do you have any question or comment?\" without being awkward? This question bothers me a lot in interviews and meetings. I don't really have anything to say when someone ask me with full expectation to ask her something interesting. I have no questions or comments whatsoever. How do I politely and cleverly let her know I have nothing to say? ", "how to say no to \"Do you have any question or comment?\" without being awkward? This question bothers me a lot in interviews and meetings. I don't really have anything to say when someone ask me with full expectation to ask her something interesting. I have no questions or comments whatsoever. How do I politely and cleverly let her know I have nothing to say? ", "how to say no to \"Do you have any question or comment?\" without being awkward? This question bothers me a lot in interviews and meetings. I don't really have anything to say when someone ask me with full expectation to ask her something interesting. I have no questions or comments whatsoever. How do I politely and cleverly let her know I have nothing to say? ", "how to say no to \"Do you have any question or comment?\" without being awkward? This question bothers me a lot in interviews and meetings. I don't really have anything to say when someone ask me with full expectation to ask her something interesting. I have no questions or comments whatsoever. How do I politely and cleverly let her know I have nothing to say? " ]

[ "A good response I use is \"I think you covered any questions I had\" the thing is, be ready to know the response if she/he asks \"which question were you going to ask\" I have used this exact verbiage a handful of times and it's great for cutting off any Q&A the interviewer tried to initiate but also keeps the conversation opened ended on their part.", "I usually ask them \"how do you like working here\" or something to make them engage in conversation and essentially sell ME the job. Plus they like talking about their job most of the time :) ", "I'd recommend asking something to show that you're interested and engaged. A pretty good one that covers most cases is \"Is there anything we didn't discuss that you think I should know about the company/job/whatever?\" It kind of turns the question back around on them and may give you some helpful insight.", "I generally answer with \"No, I'd just like to say thank you for taking the time out to meet with me today and it's been really great meeting you.\"", "When applying for jobs in the teaching profession, I have asked interviewers: \"Given your experience in the field, do you have any advice for me as a new person starting out in this profession?\"\n\nThis questions can be applied to a variety of jobs, and shows that you look up to your interviewer and value their status and opinion.\n\nCaution: depending on how you phrase this, or what job you are applying for, it can come out sounding like you don't know how to do your job or are trying to get insider information (ex. asking a top sales guy what his secret is may sound like you are asking him to tell you his secret to success and may not go over that well.)", "If it's an interview, have a genuine question ready. If it gets answered during the interview you can reply with honesty at the end, \"No, I think we covered everything.\" If it doesn't get answered, you've got your response ready!", "Spend the meeting thinking about the subject matter of the meeting and ask an interesting or engaging question not covered. If it is an interview ask a question about the specifics of the company to show you've done research.", "Remember Joey and \"smell-the-fart\" acting?\n\nLook up and to your left for about five seconds. If you think you can carry it off, touch your knuckles to your chin. Then say, \"No, I think you covered everything.\"", "If you don't have any questions you're allowed to say no. It takes time to digest information so a lot of times we don't have questions until later.\n\nHow do you know that the other person expects you to have a n interesting question?\n\nAnd why is it that you think you never have an interesting question or perspective..? Is the subject matter boring? Are you not paying attention?", "I've used something like this before: \"I don't have any right now but if I think of anything how can I contact you?\"\n\nIt has worked for me before where an employer gave me his cell number and I had some time to process and ask a question or two later." ]

[ 10, 6, 3, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Getting rid of a dark grease spot on a shirt, even after you wash it. You know, you're out to eat, a dab of butter or some sauce gets on a shirt, you forget to wash it right away so it sets in. \n\n You wash it a week later, and out of the dryer comes a grease spot. Help?", "Getting rid of a dark grease spot on a shirt, even after you wash it. You know, you're out to eat, a dab of butter or some sauce gets on a shirt, you forget to wash it right away so it sets in. \n\n You wash it a week later, and out of the dryer comes a grease spot. Help?", "Getting rid of a dark grease spot on a shirt, even after you wash it. You know, you're out to eat, a dab of butter or some sauce gets on a shirt, you forget to wash it right away so it sets in. \n\n You wash it a week later, and out of the dryer comes a grease spot. Help?", "Getting rid of a dark grease spot on a shirt, even after you wash it. You know, you're out to eat, a dab of butter or some sauce gets on a shirt, you forget to wash it right away so it sets in. \n\n You wash it a week later, and out of the dryer comes a grease spot. Help?" ]

[ "Just rub butter on the rest of it, then wash the shirt and no one will know. Just be sure to get that butter smell out.", "Use Dawn dish soap. Others may work but that's the brand we buy. Apply generously and toss into the hamper until you're ready to wash those colors. It has worked countless times. ", "Try rubbing baby powder or cornstarch into it and then wash it again. You may need to do this several times. You only need to rub in over the stained part, and the very fine powder will wick up some of the oil trapped in the fabric, causing it to clump up on the outside of the fibers. Wash it only in -cold- water for this.\n\nI had a tube of chapstick in the pocket of a pair of pants that went through the dryer, and I had to do this several times to save some of my favorite clothes, but it did. It seems to work better on finer-woven fabrics.\n", "Pre-treat it like a fresh stain using your laundry detergent or something like Shout. Let it sit 24 hours, then wash." ]

[ 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to teach math to a kid I have a little cousin that constantly visits me to teach him math. When a question is direct such as subsract x from y and divide result to z, he can do it with ease. However If question is a little bit indirect, he struggles a lot to understand what to do.", "How to teach math to a kid I have a little cousin that constantly visits me to teach him math. When a question is direct such as subsract x from y and divide result to z, he can do it with ease. However If question is a little bit indirect, he struggles a lot to understand what to do.", "How to teach math to a kid I have a little cousin that constantly visits me to teach him math. When a question is direct such as subsract x from y and divide result to z, he can do it with ease. However If question is a little bit indirect, he struggles a lot to understand what to do." ]

[ "Go to Khan academy, do and exercises there and tailor your questions like their. Factor in the kid's skill level.", "There's such a thing as a simple math question that's indirect? Need an example. Unless you're referring to those math questions that seem outrageously hard until you know the trick/concept to solving it...", "Check out or crosspost over to /r/math. They will have some good suggestions over there, at least very tailored ones compared to LPT." ]

[ 3, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving.", "How to get rid of irritation after shaving? My neck gets full of little pimples two days after shaving. Things I've already tried (none of them seems to work):\n\n- using hot water;\n- using shaving oil;\n- using no alcohol aftershave;\n- applying Nivea cream;\n- anti-infective cream.\n\nBUT it only happens when I shave against the grain, which is the only way to get a smooth shaving." ]

[ "Someone's inevitably going to link it so go here: /r/wicked_edge \n \nSome things like only getting a smooth shave when shaving against the grain means it sounds like it's worth checking out a different style of shaving. Go read the stuff on that subreddit and try it out. The whole reason it exists is because so many guys like you these days get irritation after shaving and so this exists because it's effective for most guys at stopping that completely. It also saves money.", "Try preparing before the shave rather than treating after. \n \nUse moisturiser the night before, and then again in the morning before getting into a nice hot shower. Shave on coming out of the shower. with the grain first, then against the grain as a second run. done. \n \n\nalso, dont press too hard/pull the shaver too fast.", "I am really surprised that this hasn't come up. Most department stores have a [shower mirror](https://www.google.com/search?q=shower+mirror&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&channel=fflb#q=shower+mirror&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&tbm=shop) that has suction cups on the back. Shave in the shower (using hot water), use conditioner if really necessary, and stand for a couple of minutes in colder water before getting out. This will close the pores on your face and body, giving you that \"clean\" feeling for longer everyday. \n\nI have been doing this for 5-6 years, and never have problems with razor burn. ", "You really need to find the grain of the different parts of your face and follow them, for one thing. What that means practically is that, for instance, I need to shave my neck TOWARDS my jawline (upstrokes), and towards my mustache/VanDyke, I shave DOWN. my cheeks usually need to be shaves across, from ear towards nose, but my sideburs area gets shaved downward, in short strokes.\n\nOK, so you are having an issue with getting a sufficiently close shave. Let's look at two things. First, many guys insist on trying for a closer shave than they can probably support without running into the kind of problems you are getting. You may have to somewhat lessen your expectations, but shave more often.\n\nSecond, make sure you are using a decent razor. Not necessarily a wicked expensive one, but a decent one. I've heard good things about the razors from that \"razor of the month club\" people always talk about on Reddit. I do well with a store-brand triple blade. I have a safety razor, but found the learning curve just a bit too annoying (that's a personal thing - I have ADHD).\n\nI hope there was something in there that you find useful. Good luck!", "What if you shave every day? I get more irritation if I skip a day and then shave. When I shave every day, my irritation is minimal. Also do the other things people mentioned. ", "Dad taught me this, hot towel on face before shave. Then after, wipe face with hot towel again. After that rinse face with cold water. The cold water seals the pores, not allowing any dirt in. ", "ironically a cactus is your best friend at this point...\n\nTry Aloe Vera if it is available. Not the crap they put in lotion, there is usually not enough in there to do anything for you.\nBreak off a piece, and cut out the gooey clear center with a knife.\n\nJust wipe that all over the irritated areas. Works on sunburn too. You will feel immediate relief.", "If you pull your skin taut, and shave against the grain using a multi-blade razor, then you will always have this problem. Solutions are one, or a combination, of: \n\n- don't pull your skin taut\n\n- use a single blade razor\n\n- shave with the grain\n\nExperiment and you'll figure it out. All the things you're doing/products you're using will only attempt to relieve symptoms, they won't fix the problem.\n\nBut, there is one product (and, in my opinion, *only* one product) you should use post-shave: Witch hazel applied with a cotton ball. I am 50+ years old and have been doing this since I was 16. Not only will it relieve all of the post-shave irritation and clean off the micro-whiskers that rinsing won't get, it also leaves your skin super soft.", "I use an alum block. After I shave, I rinse the block in cold water, rub it all over my face, then rinse the block. My understanding is it acts to constrict your capillaries, which reduces bleeding, and swelling. It stings a bit. Worth a shot though? [Here's a popular one at Amazon.](http://www.amazon.com/Bloc-Osma-Alum-Block-Ounce/dp/B004NEHR28/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1382473486&sr=1-1&keywords=alum+block)", "Buy this:\n\nhttp://www.amazon.com/Dove-Invisible-Solids-Sensitive-Ounce/dp/B001ECQ4SK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382487410&sr=8-1&keywords=dove+unscented+deodorant\n\nPut a little on for 5 minutes, wipe it off, wash face with soap.\n\nIt's designed for women who shave their armpits (obviously) and is designed to prevent razor burn. ", "Use a straight razor. It's a much closer shave, and is meant to go with the grain, hopefully eliminating your razor burn. [Here is a link of how to use one, though the host is an obnoxious fuck](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lflM1A9KJJU&list=PLYT7t0pcxEIO9eSA_av5UYBQoe--g0S-U&index=8)", "I've had similar problem, and can only tell you what worked for me.\nFirst of all; preparation.\n\nI always shave right after I shower.\n\nSecond: method of shaving\n\nI shave using a double edge safety razor and a Taylor of old Bond Street shaving cream. I go with and across the grain, 2-3 passes, feather light touch.\n\nThird: the after works \n\nI douse my face in lukewarm to cold water, and use a Truefitt&Hill 1805 aftershave balm mixed with a pyricept anti-infectant cream.\n\nI know you've tried some of the stuff I mentioned, but in this combination it helped me immensely. No razor rash at all. ", "I use to have the same issue, now I shave in the shower and I use a Mach 3 turbo razor. The constant hot water and steam seems to help. You can use a mirror, but I don't. Took some time make sure I knew how and where to shave. I also go with the grain first and then against the grain for the close shave.", "I have the same problem with both electric and regular razors. The only thing that I found that helps is hydrocortisone creme (often marketed as anti-itch creme), which is an anti-inflammatory agent.", "Gillete after shave gel dude. It's cheap, the ladies like how it smells, and I haven't gotten razor burn from even the gnarliest and most- rushed shaves in months", "Do you shave when you get out of the shower? If not, start doing so. Being in a hot shower really opens up the pores and helps for a good shave. I know a lot of people will recommend /r/wicked_edge , and it's a fine subreddit, my problem with it is that they're such elitists when it comes to the equipment you buy. I bought a $7 D/E razor, a $10 badger hair brush, some blades, and a bunch of van Der Hagen soap, and all of that stuff has served me well. Shaving with soap has changed things for the better with me, as has using a D/E over a Mach 3. I really think it's worth it for you to give it a try. \n\n", "Use after shave lotion that's more expensive. I don't feel a thing afterwards and the Ladies love the smell ", "I've been shaving my whole head and face since I was 14 due to alopecia areata. My life changing moment when it came to irritation is when I started using a badger hair brush and shaving soap. I cant use cream anymore. I still use a three blade razor, but shaving after a shower with a brush is fantastic. I also use aftershave and avoid lotions for about an hour afterwards. \nHere is the article that turned me towards a more classic shaving style that really helped me out.\nhttp://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/01/04/how-to-shave-like-your-grandpa/", "I have particularly thick facial hair and struggle to get a close shave, even with a straight edge razor and pre/post shave regimens. I've tried a professional Turkish barber with a cutthroat razor to see where I was going wrong, but even he cut my face to ribbons. I'm of the opinion that not everyone can achieve a pain free close shave. The best advice has already been given but if you have thick hair I suggest experimenting with different razors until you get the best results.", "Exfoliate after shaving. It gets rid of the dead skin that clogs your pores. Plus it makes you very snuggable!", "Everybody has their systems. They don't always work for everybody.\n\nOne that I used to use, before the problem mysteriously disappeared in my late 30's was to wash my stubble and lather *the instant* I awoke.\n\nThen I could go about my morning tasks - making my breakfast, brushing teeth, etc. Periodically I would refresh the lather.\n\nAfter the shower I would lather up a final time and shave. Like buttah." ]

[ 25, 19, 7, 4, 4, 4, 3, 3, 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0 ]

[ "Any tips to help with self consciousness? (repost cause last one didn't say LPT Request) I'm pretty self conscious, and could use some tips.. what do you do to deal with it?", "Any tips to help with self consciousness? (repost cause last one didn't say LPT Request) I'm pretty self conscious, and could use some tips.. what do you do to deal with it?", "Any tips to help with self consciousness? (repost cause last one didn't say LPT Request) I'm pretty self conscious, and could use some tips.. what do you do to deal with it?", "Any tips to help with self consciousness? (repost cause last one didn't say LPT Request) I'm pretty self conscious, and could use some tips.. what do you do to deal with it?", "Any tips to help with self consciousness? (repost cause last one didn't say LPT Request) I'm pretty self conscious, and could use some tips.. what do you do to deal with it?", "Any tips to help with self consciousness? (repost cause last one didn't say LPT Request) I'm pretty self conscious, and could use some tips.. what do you do to deal with it?" ]

[ "You will feel a lot more free when you realise that people are extremely self absorbed and all the people who you are worrying about are just thinking about themselves. It's refreshing to accept that no one gives a shit, so focus on the positive relationships with your friends and the people who do care about you.", "M", "A few details would help, for instance are you affected by this when alone or is it mostly vis *à* vis with others?", "You’re only in high school, you have to realize that the little insecurities stressing you out are far irrelevant in the long term. Nobody actually cares enough to go out of their way to judge you all that much, and even if they do, who gives a shit. You said you have a circle of friends so that is good, just focus on your friends and on yourself. Worry about being a good human and being considerate towards others, rather than spending all your time thinking negative counterproductive thoughts. When you grow older you will quickly realize that it doesn’t matter how attractive you were or how popular you were in high school. High school is an awful environment but you don’t need to let the environment drag you down. I used to be insecure a lot as well in my first few years or high school but then I ditched my ego and matured a bit to realize that there is no use worrying about how other people judge me. I’m just gonna be me and do what makes me fulfilled and happy, that’s all that’s relevant at the end of the day. \n\nAnd if all else goes wrong, the dude with the reply about mushrooms is definitely onto something lmao.", "There’s a saying that you stop trying to entertain And impress people when you realize that when you die basically nobody will remember you and even if they do, very soon nobody will care that you’re dead either. So now im in my late 20s and I’m a businessman entrepreneur making 340K a year and am happily married because I ignored (pressure from) my parents and community social circle’s ‘encouragements’ to ignore my passions and pursue a ‘realistic job’ like becoming a medical Doctor.", "I was in the same boat as you. I realized that I could've better spent my time thinking about things that would better my future than all that. There are high schoolers now who are reading up on investments, like stocks, ETFs, and Bonds. (I mention this because I'm interested in it now). I only wish I was interested in that when I was younger. I had 18,000 at 15 and I could've grown it to 40,000 by now. Instead I kept on thinking about how I looked, what others thought of me, who was more well liked, who was a complete loser etc. Now at the age of 30 something, I can hardly remember all that, and it's the same for my classmates as well. Everyone is doing their own thing, and nobody cares. I guess what I'm saying is take up a hobby to better your future and you won't have time to think about your looks and you'll be bettering your future at the same time. You won't even remember high school as much as you think you will." ]

[ 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "how do I sell coupons at people's door to raise money for my sports team? So my coach wants the players on the lacrosse team to sell 15 coupons to people for 20 bucks. Im not really great at presenting myself to people so how should I go about selling them. I was thinking along the lines of saying \"Hello, my name is _____ and im part of _____ high school, we are selling coupons for $20 to support our lacrosse team\"", "how do I sell coupons at people's door to raise money for my sports team? So my coach wants the players on the lacrosse team to sell 15 coupons to people for 20 bucks. Im not really great at presenting myself to people so how should I go about selling them. I was thinking along the lines of saying \"Hello, my name is _____ and im part of _____ high school, we are selling coupons for $20 to support our lacrosse team\"", "how do I sell coupons at people's door to raise money for my sports team? So my coach wants the players on the lacrosse team to sell 15 coupons to people for 20 bucks. Im not really great at presenting myself to people so how should I go about selling them. I was thinking along the lines of saying \"Hello, my name is _____ and im part of _____ high school, we are selling coupons for $20 to support our lacrosse team\"", "how do I sell coupons at people's door to raise money for my sports team? So my coach wants the players on the lacrosse team to sell 15 coupons to people for 20 bucks. Im not really great at presenting myself to people so how should I go about selling them. I was thinking along the lines of saying \"Hello, my name is _____ and im part of _____ high school, we are selling coupons for $20 to support our lacrosse team\"" ]

[ "say the positive first. meaning \"hey do you want to save whatever the best coupon is\" and then say its for a fundraiser for school. normally when people hear fundraiser or buy they are not interested and dont pay attention. ", "The best advice I've ever gotten is give people a choice. \"Would you care to buy 2 or 3 chocolate bars for a fundraiser my school is holding for X\" Mr. Hopkins was one hell of a dean.", "I'd start with a smile, shaking their hand, asking them their name, asking how their day's going, asking if they have a moment, and then going into what you're selling. Jumping right in to selling things can be off putting, especially when someone you don't know knocks on your door.\n\nAlso, make small talk. If you notice something about them you can relate to, talk to them about it a little bit. Maybe ask them if they ever played lacrosse, if they have a kid who plays lacrosse, or if they're fans. \n\nUsed to sell cleaning products door to door for a living when I lived out of my car. People like people who like talking to them. Act confident, be blunt and honest.\n\nGood luck. ", "\" hi, my team mates and I are fundraising for our (insert generic team here) to help get us to the state championships this year. The money goes to buy much needed equipment and covers travel costs some of our team mates can't afford. We understand times are tight for a lot of folks so we decided to do something different by offering folks in our neighbourhood a chance to save a ton of money on things they already spend money on. Our coupon book will save you over a hundred dollars at least on places like (name local places in coupon bokk) and your investment in our teams success this year is only 20 (Don't say dollars, just the number 20) \n.... would you like to support my team and I? " ]

[ 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to stop stuttering? I tend to stutter in between words, and it's a real pain.\r\rAny advice on how to **try** and prevent this?\r\rThanks in advance!", "How to stop stuttering? I tend to stutter in between words, and it's a real pain.\r\rAny advice on how to **try** and prevent this?\r\rThanks in advance!", "How to stop stuttering? I tend to stutter in between words, and it's a real pain.\r\rAny advice on how to **try** and prevent this?\r\rThanks in advance!", "How to stop stuttering? I tend to stutter in between words, and it's a real pain.\r\rAny advice on how to **try** and prevent this?\r\rThanks in advance!", "How to stop stuttering? I tend to stutter in between words, and it's a real pain.\r\rAny advice on how to **try** and prevent this?\r\rThanks in advance!", "How to stop stuttering? I tend to stutter in between words, and it's a real pain.\r\rAny advice on how to **try** and prevent this?\r\rThanks in advance!" ]

[ "I've had a stutter most of my life. I'm in my 30s. Here are some things that have helped me reduce my stuttering to the point that it's not really noticeable unless you are looking for it. This applies to stuttering that has persisted into adulthood and not developmental stuttering. They are two different things. \n\n- don't take yourself too seriously; everyone else is worrying about themselves and not you\n\n- do you stutter when you're alone or read aloud to yourself? Most stutterers don't. If you don't you must realize that you are physically capable of speaking without a stutter, therefore the issue resides in your mind. Practice reading aloud to yourself and record it. Get comfortable hearing yourself speak without a stutter. \n\n- don't look for the reason you started stuttering. You'll never find it and it doesn't matter \n\n- get out of your comfort zone. Most stutterers are quiet because they don't want others to hear them stutter. Start striking up conversations with strangers, calling instead of emailing, asking questions at stores, etc\n\n- stuttering is actually a choice you make. This may sound crazy depending upon how much you've investigated this issue, but once you really understand it you can make the choice not to stutter. Some speech therapists will tell you it's a problem with the way you breathe or something similar. I'm sure they're well intentioned but most have never stuttered in their lives and don't understand the mental torture that stutterers go through. \n\n- you won't lose a stutter overnight. It's like a habit and it takes time to change habits. Be patient. \n\n- don't let it define you. I have only made significant progress with my stutter in recent years and I have a great career where I speak regularly in front of large groups of healthcare professionals. I'm not bragging, I just want you to know that stuttering doesn't have to hold you back. \n\nI hope this helps some. You can PM me too if you prefer. ", "I have this too, I just talk to fast the majority of the time. Maybe just slowing down and thinking first would definitely help.", "Know what you are going to say. Rehearse the conversation within the realms of your own mind and the part where you talk to perfection, and take it away.", "[This podcast](http://www.wnyc.org/story/opera-meets-autism/) actually has a great story about that. It's about a trained Opera singer working with an autistic student who has major stuttering issues. May have some good ideas for you.", "I used to stutter, I started pretending to type with my fingers in sync to the syllables, you can do this very subtly with your hands in your pockets. It helped me, now I rarely stutter without said method!", "I actually stuttered a lot when I was really young. Was it a matter of confidence, was it a matter of anxiety? I don't know. There were phases where I began to stutter and phases where I had a break from the costant stuttering. \n\nWhenever I stuttered I also noticed I had occasional blocks where I couldn't speak at all. \n\nTime fixed the stuttering partly, however I managed to overcome being too paranoid, anxcious or nervous.\nSure, if I'm nervous I'll stutter a bit, but it won't really matter. Back then, I visited a specialist about it, so here's a few tips:\n\n-think before speaking, but not for too long\n\n-if you're preparing yourself for a speech, don't just do it mentally, but verbally: repeat the same speech/phrase over and over, helped me quite a lot\n\n-slow down whenever you talk: this will give you time to relax and prepare yourself about what you are going to say next. Don't be rushed\n\n-stay chill: whenever you stutter, just have a laugh about it, many famous TV show men had the same issues but managed to overcome them, and always have a good laugh because it's no big deal. If you stutter occasionally you see that people won't react to it, because stuttering is normal and everybody stutters once in a while. :)" ]

[ 6, 5, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n", "How to stop worrying. Started using a trick the other day. If I worry about something I write it down, and say I'll worry about it later. When later comes I end up not being worried about it.\n\nAre there any other anti-anxiety tips or tricks out there like this? Specifically having to do with shit I gotta do. The above method only really works well for small/pointless worry.\n\n" ]

[ "Sit back and focus on your immediate surroundings. Unless you are on fire, injured, or feeling really sick, you should notice that you are alive, healthy, and it's usually nice outside. Bringing your focus to something not as abstract as school / money / work is good - like having some food or napping. These are all good ways to cope with anxiety.", "Exercise. It doesn't have to be much, really. Just walking or pushups, etc. always help me burn off some anxiety, get the endorphin release, and feel a lot better. \n\n", "In my experience, anxiety is caused by narrow goals. You undershoot your goal, and you feel anxious. You overshoot, and it brings you now joy.\n\nYou have to say to yourself, \"If I just achieve/get this small thing, I'll be happy with that, leave work on time, go to sleep at night.\" That sets the bottom marker for your happiness target. The lower you can honestly set it, the better.\n\nThen think about he possibilities that are ahead of you - invent something and get rich, fall in love, get to the frontpage etc. And think about how amazing that would be. That's the top marker. The higher you can honestly set it the better.\n\nNow almost all the time you will hit the happiness zone in between, yet remain motivated but happy. Works for me. \n\nI think a lot of people who have led sheltered lives have trouble realistically imagining bad scenarios, so they fear them excessively. Fail, suffer, and lose - just to try it - you'll see it's not so bad.\n\nI meet a lot of people whose happiness zones are razor-thin, and they are always miserable and complaining.", "*I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me, and when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.* \n\n*Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.* \n\nStarted saying it as a joke in college whenever something was getting to me, but I've said it enough that it's a relaxation mantra.", "My Dad always used to say, \"If you can't do anything about it, it's out of your hands so there's no point in worrying about it. If you can do something about it, then just do it and stop worrying about it. Either way, worrying about it helps nothing.\"\n\nIn retrospect it sounds like mental-mumbo-jumbo, but it's always helped me to remember his advice.", "Here is a little song I wrote \nYou might want to sing it note for note \nDon't worry be happy \nIn every life we have some trouble \nWhen you worry you make it double \nDon't worry, be happy...... \n\nAin't got no place to lay your head \nSomebody came and took your bed \nDon't worry, be happy \nThe land lord say your rent is late \nHe may have to litigate \nDon't worry, be happy \nLood at me I am happy \nDon't worry, be happy \nHere I give you my phone number \nWhen you worry call me \nI make you happy \nDon't worry, be happy \nAin't got no cash, ain't got no style \nAin't got not girl to make you smile \nBut don't worry be happy \nCause when you worry \nYour face will frown \nAnd that will bring everybody down \nSo don't worry, be happy (now)..... \n\nThere is this little song I wrote \nI hope you learn it note for note \nLike good little children \nDon't worry, be happy \nListen to what I say \nIn your life expect some trouble \nBut when you worry \nYou make it double \nDon't worry, be happy...... \nDon't worry don't do it, be happy \nPut a smile on your face \nDon't bring everybody down like this \nDon't worry, it will soon past \nWhatever it is \nDon't worry, be happy \n\n[source:](http://www.lyricsondemand.com/onehitwonders/dontworrybehappylyrics.html)", "Don't worry about the little things. Are you really going to worry about that $5 that your buddy owes you for paying for his cab from the bar? He's your friend, forget about it. He'll get you back another day. Someone bumps you on the sidewalk by accident? Don't spaz, just say it's cool and walk away. Got 50% on your quiz at school? Take it as a sign that you need to study more and that it was only worth 2% overall anyway.", "If it is a issue in daily life check with the doctor to investigate actual anxiety illness, there is a lot of medicine made for it that actually helps.", "For big stuff you have to take care of but are overwhelmed with worry about, just frickin' start. Get started on it. Break it down in to bite-sized bits and start chewing. Just do it. Worrying about it and not starting will just lead to more procrastination and worry.", "Even reading this thread is making me feel better about a lot of things. It helps to know that everyone worries about shit that doesn't matter.", "Whenever I feel stressed, I sit back and visualize the universe around us. Remember, you're just a primate species on a big rock orbiting a star in this huge galaxy....and there are billions of other galaxies out there. The small thing you're probably worrying about right now doesn't mean shit.", "I am an expert worrier but after working on it for a long time, I think I'm finally starting to control my worries more.\n\nSomething that I sometimes find helpful is thinking about the worst possible outcome and how I would deal with it. Often times my problem is that I think that if something goes wrong, it will be the end of the world - but when I actually think about what would happen if everything went wrong, I realize it isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. \n\nFor example, let's say I was worried about passing a very important test. The worst possible outcome would be that I fail the test. Now obviously this would suck, but when I think about how I would deal with it (do extra cr", "Breathe.\n\nMost people know the standard advice to take a deep breath, and completely forget about it.\n\nTake a deep breath, all the way in, and then let it out slowly through your mouth.\n\nThis won't make everything better all of a sudden, but it will usually help a good deal.", "The best advice I have ever been given was when I was taking a class on persuasion. The professor said to us, \"Remember, you control what you think about.\" It's so obviously true, but whenever I start to worry I remember this advice and know that I have control over what goes on in my head, and if I don't want to worry I can control that.", "Read the Enchiridion. \nhttp://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html\nIt's basically how to be happy, and not worry about things. \n\"Work, therefore to be able to say to every harsh appearance, \"You are but an appearance, and not absolutely the thing you appear to be.\" And then examine it by those rules which you have, and first, and chiefly, by this: whether it concerns the things which are in our own control, or those which are not; and, if it concerns anything not in our control, be prepared to say that it is nothing to you. \"", "Make a list of how you would be acting if you had all the things you are worried about disappear. Start acting like that.", "Exercise works wonders. If you're not to prone to panic attacks, try cannabis.\n\nI found that 10-20 minutes of m", "Count things. Activating the \"mathy part\" of your brain has been shown to disrupt the thought loops involved in worrying (sorry, no citation handy, this is something I learned in therapy - but I trust my therapist to only give me scientifically valid treatments). Count how many green things there are in the room, or how many different sounds you can hear, or how many books there are on the shelf. ", "realising that everyone has problems, everyone has something to worry about and more often than not they are far more serious than whatever it is that I'm worrying about. also accepting that anything bad that comes out of whatever it is I'm worrying about will just be another experience in life that makes up my character, even if it is a negative experience. ", "[This](http://stephenslighthouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/528worrychart.jpg) always works for me. Easy to memorize, and it makes perfect sense.\n\n", "When I start feeling myself get super nervous/anxious, I try to visualize an open space or play super calming music in my head (or iPod/music player if you have one handy; a song that calms me always is Sleepless by Kate Havnevick).", "If you can't take care of the thing that's worrying you, set up a plan to take care of it. Make intermediate goals to get you there. Generally progressing towards the goal or even having a plan in place takes away the worry for me.", "I use a mantra that helps me trough my anxiety, a mantra is basically something that you can repeat to yourself, it should be something you're trying to become (a better person i hope :D) and you should look at yourself at the mirror, in the eyes, and repeat it.", "I like to look at the stars. All my troubles seem so insignificant. If the stars aren't out, look at a leaf or something. *Study it.*\n\nHere's a video that helps everything else fade away, for me. I put it on loop and just watched it about 10 times. Every time I noticed something new, a different pattern in the clouds, a different star twinkling. Incredible. \n\nhttp://vimeo.com/22439234", "Worrying doesn't help. Lets say you knew the world was gonna end tomorrow. Why worry about it? It wont change anything, you just make yourself sad. That's how I think to stop worrying about stuff.", "From the Hagakure: \"Treat matters of great concern lightly, and matters of little concern greatly\"\n\nYour trick will work with all problems Op." ]

[ 75, 40, 24, 10, 9, 7, 6, 5, 5, 5, 4, 4, 4, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0, 0 ]

[ "An easy setup that helps prevent cheating when playing 4-person split screen First Person Shooter games? ", "An easy setup that helps prevent cheating when playing 4-person split screen First Person Shooter games? ", "An easy setup that helps prevent cheating when playing 4-person split screen First Person Shooter games? ", "An easy setup that helps prevent cheating when playing 4-person split screen First Person Shooter games? " ]

[ "It's only cheating if you're not doing it.\n\nIt's a lot of work to create a \"cheat free\" environment for playing on the same screen.\n\nYou can always have the \"gentleman's agreement\" but honestly, even if you're trying not to look, you're still going to notice stuff.\n\nIt's best to just say \"ok, we're all looking, that's part of the game.\"", "Create or find a giant cardboard box that is the dimensions of your screen, but set at a height that is one fourth of the distance between the screen and the closet seated. Insert two intersecting panels along the planes of screen splitting of your game. Next, buy one set of blackout curtains, cut the two sides in half (length wise!) then sow the length sides together. Now that you have the parts, let's put it into a pro-cheat-busting tool: attach at your own judgment the box to the screen (remember to attach the length and width of the box to the length and width of the screen, respectively) then attach the curtains around each of the smaller rectangles. I've used a thick needle and leather to attach the two, sowing the curtains to the inside of the boxes for a steam punk look, but tape will work just as well. Lastly, put the other side of the curtains over the heads of the players. \n\nI know the only problem you'd see with this is the issue with the angle of viewing the screen. Experiment with inset mirrors inside the curtain tunnel to reestablish the player's view. \n\nOh, and hope no one jumps out of their seat for excitement after still beating you even with this anti-cheating device installed as the celebration may pull your screen to the floor. ", "Well it works for two players... [two player setup](https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/3bjxi6/these_little_shits_arent_cheating_anymore/)", "They actually make televisions that can display multiple screens full screen, but only viewable to those wearing glasses for their specific screen. I can't remember the name of the technology off the top of my head, though. CoD is comparable with it. " ]

[ 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How do I keep my clothes from shrinking? Mostly my shirts but pants sometimes as well. I'll buy some new shirts and they get too small within a few months. I tried buying the next size larger but they're too baggy and don't shrink enough.\n\nI do only cold or warm wash and dry on low. I TRIED HANG DRYING IN MY BASEMENT AND THEY STARTED TO STINK. I think it's too cold down there.\n\nWhat can I do to keep them from shrinking so much?", "How do I keep my clothes from shrinking? Mostly my shirts but pants sometimes as well. I'll buy some new shirts and they get too small within a few months. I tried buying the next size larger but they're too baggy and don't shrink enough.\n\nI do only cold or warm wash and dry on low. I TRIED HANG DRYING IN MY BASEMENT AND THEY STARTED TO STINK. I think it's too cold down there.\n\nWhat can I do to keep them from shrinking so much?", "How do I keep my clothes from shrinking? Mostly my shirts but pants sometimes as well. I'll buy some new shirts and they get too small within a few months. I tried buying the next size larger but they're too baggy and don't shrink enough.\n\nI do only cold or warm wash and dry on low. I TRIED HANG DRYING IN MY BASEMENT AND THEY STARTED TO STINK. I think it's too cold down there.\n\nWhat can I do to keep them from shrinking so much?", "How do I keep my clothes from shrinking? Mostly my shirts but pants sometimes as well. I'll buy some new shirts and they get too small within a few months. I tried buying the next size larger but they're too baggy and don't shrink enough.\n\nI do only cold or warm wash and dry on low. I TRIED HANG DRYING IN MY BASEMENT AND THEY STARTED TO STINK. I think it's too cold down there.\n\nWhat can I do to keep them from shrinking so much?", "How do I keep my clothes from shrinking? Mostly my shirts but pants sometimes as well. I'll buy some new shirts and they get too small within a few months. I tried buying the next size larger but they're too baggy and don't shrink enough.\n\nI do only cold or warm wash and dry on low. I TRIED HANG DRYING IN MY BASEMENT AND THEY STARTED TO STINK. I think it's too cold down there.\n\nWhat can I do to keep them from shrinking so much?" ]

[ "We simply gave up and wash everything in cold water, and dry on a middle or lower setting. Haven't had a problem since.", "Wash in cold water then dry on low heat. Remove shirts after 5 minutes in dryer (after they de-wrinkle) and hang them in your closet. Takes about a day to dry but saves shirts from getting shrunk (and stinky in your case)", "Wash clothes in cold water. Buy a drying rack that fits your budget. This lets you air dry the clothes wherever you have room to put the drying rack. Most fold up for easy storage so don't worry about it having to be out there all the time.", "When you buy new clothes, do not wash them in washing machine instead just soak them overnight with washing powder for first couple of weeks, amd later you can wash it in the machine. Your clothes will never shrink amd will have good life", "Try washing with borax and whatever laundry soap you prefer. Use cold water. When done, spin on low heat in the dryer for 15 minutes or so (still damp) and hang near a heater vent." ]

[ 5, 4, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to realize you don't need someone to be happy Just came out of a long term relationship (4 years, and I'm only 20) so a great deal of my \"life\" I've spent with this person. How can I put this person behind and find happiness again? ", "How to realize you don't need someone to be happy Just came out of a long term relationship (4 years, and I'm only 20) so a great deal of my \"life\" I've spent with this person. How can I put this person behind and find happiness again? " ]

[ "[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/2e9jvg/lpt_request_getting_over_a_breakup_asap/) older post hast some pretty solid advice you might want to read through ;)", "Honestly, the way I learned this was going through a few lousy relationships and realizing that while some are good, being alone and doing my own thing is way better than the bad ones. \n\nI have plenty of hobbies I enjoy doing on my own, for their own sake, not as an excuse to socialize with others. A former GF got into bowling but didn't really enjoy it much. She mainly liked the socializing in the league, not to mention being one of the few attractive females. When the league broke up she quickly lost interest.\n\nIt's important to find things you genuinely enjoy and want to do, partner or not. Those things are part of your individuality and exist whether or not there are others around to share them. When you find an interest you really enjoy, partaking in it will naturally lead to new friendships and possibly relationships, even though that's not the main goal of doing them. It will also lead to greater self-confidence because you're not wrapping up your happiness soley in another person. When they're gone it leaves a giant hole.\n\nTLDR: Get a hobby." ]

[ 6, 2 ]

[ "Best way to read pdf text books? I started college and I'm saving a bunch of money by getting pdf textbooks. However, the experience of reading it on a computer and on a book is so different. Is there a good program to read them? ", "Best way to read pdf text books? I started college and I'm saving a bunch of money by getting pdf textbooks. However, the experience of reading it on a computer and on a book is so different. Is there a good program to read them? ", "Best way to read pdf text books? I started college and I'm saving a bunch of money by getting pdf textbooks. However, the experience of reading it on a computer and on a book is so different. Is there a good program to read them? ", "Best way to read pdf text books? I started college and I'm saving a bunch of money by getting pdf textbooks. However, the experience of reading it on a computer and on a book is so different. Is there a good program to read them? ", "Best way to read pdf text books? I started college and I'm saving a bunch of money by getting pdf textbooks. However, the experience of reading it on a computer and on a book is so different. Is there a good program to read them? " ]

[ "PDF is terrible for eBooks, try finding epub files. Then you can use Calibre to read them on PC or get an eBook reader (Kobo reads epubs)", "Microsoft's OneNote may be a possible solution.\n\nAfter you download OneNote, you can open up your PDF and print it into OneNote, which will import the file. Each page will become an actual page (or note, depending on your terminology). \n\nYou can then read the files on a tablet device, and use a stylus to write on the screen, which will save and display on any device you use. (Or you can also just regularly type on top of the notes, or draw/highlight with the mouse.)\n\nIt depends on what kind of improvements you're looking for specifically. ", "Definately use ePub. This way you can quickly define words you don't know the meaning to. Saves A LOT of time.", "Try inverting the colours on your monitor, way less strenuous on your eyes. On macs there's a keyboard shortcut, ctrl+cmd+option+8, i'm sure on windows/linux there is something similar.", "Reading a lot of digital scientific articles in university, I had trouble with pdfs which didn't allow the 'find word on page' feature because they were literal scans. I got around this by finding OCR software and converting them to text in whatever format that pleased me at the time. " ]

[ 9, 5, 3, 1, 1 ]

[ "Apps/strategies for building good habits? I’m looking for a good way to track habits, maybe even gamify it? Just want to know what people out there are doing", "Apps/strategies for building good habits? I’m looking for a good way to track habits, maybe even gamify it? Just want to know what people out there are doing", "Apps/strategies for building good habits? I’m looking for a good way to track habits, maybe even gamify it? Just want to know what people out there are doing" ]

[ "The “Done” app. You create habits, check them off as you do them each day, and view your streak on the monthly calendar. :)", "The app Habitica is exactly what you’re looking for - a habit tracker productivity app that uses a retro RPG interface to make tracking habits like a game.", "Check out Andrew Huberman's channel on youtube. He has a whole episode about building habits, it's good material." ]

[ 3, 2, 2 ]

[ "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. ", "How to find a summer job as a college student. I feel like it shouldn't be so difficult, but I'm a college freshman who has no idea where to start looking. I know it's only March, but I don't think it's too early to start the process. Anyways, I'm not very particular, but I would like to either get a job in an academic environment (as in doing work at my college, even if it is very basic) or in a field that I have had experience in (which at the moment is only tutoring). Finally, money isn't as an issue for me as finding something that can help me land a good internship in the future. " ]

[ "Look for internships in your field and start ASAP. I know you are only a freshman but he earlier you can make connections the better. I would look to see if they have career fairs and also get in contact with any professors or staff who might be able to find you an internship through their various connections.\n\nThe key is to be very proactive in regards to searching and making connections. You may get turned down to a lot of them for being a freshman but it never hurts to try.\n", "You won't need anything else other than this:\nhttp://www.nsf.gov/crssprgm/reu/\n\nThere's hundreds of colleges to apply to. I applied to UMASS, and earned $6000 all summer. I got a paper published, got a great reference, performed research in a lab, and met some lasting friends.\n\nOh yea, its ONLY FOR UNDERGRADUATES!", "Man. Forget all the crap that everyone is telling you. Seriously. What job do you want? Pick three. Then walk in to the building, and tell them you want to work there. Show up until they let you work there. Works, 100% of the time.", "Nobody wants to hire someone for just 3 months. At least not a real job. \n\nFind a professor doing research you be interested in helping out with. Data entry. No pay. Still lab experience. ", "**Your major, GPA, past work experience, and even your gender/ethnicity, have a huge influence on the job opportunities that are available for you.** In my experience, women and minorities in the STEM field have far more opportunities for paid internships than, say, a white guy majoring in business or sociology. I'm not sure what your situation is, or exactly what your talents/interests are, so I will make some general recommendations.\n\n\nFirst of all, March is *not* too early to start looking. In fact, it may be a little on the late side. Many structured internships have application deadlines in February or early March.\n\n**1. Talk to professors in your major/area of interest.** Even if a professor doesn't have a job opportunity for you, they probably know someone who does. \n\n**2. Consider being a summer orientation leader.** Most campuses have some sort of freshman orientation during the summer. Check out your school website to see if they have any paid opportunities to be an orientation leader.\n\n**3. Consider being a campus ambassador/tour guide.** In addition to orientation sessions, many college campuses offer tours during the summer. Again, look on your school website to see if any opportunities are available. \n\n**4. Attend career fairs at your school!** Career fairs are a great place to find out about internships and full-time career opportunities. Bring your resume and come prepared to ask questions and talk about your interests.\n\n**5. Attend industry receptions or information sessions.** As an engineering major, I have had an opportunity to attend numerous information sessions for companies. These sessions are a great place to network and ask about internship opportunities. Also, free food is usually provided!\n\n**6. Consider opportunities within your \"network.\"** Ask your friends and family members if they know of any job opportunities. \n\n**6. Don't be afraid to volunteer.** Even if you can't get a paid internship this summer, it is important to begin gaining work experience. Consider volunteering or shadowing a professional in industry. Who knows, they might offer you a paid internship later down the road!\n\nBest of luck to you!\n", "With tutoring experience- you could be a summer nanny. Going with stereotypes of redditors and assuming that you're a guy, \"mannys\" are pretty highly sought after for families with boys and you can easily make $15/hr depending on where you live. Probably wont help with securing future internships... but it's a great job!", "Look up your university's professors. Read about each one's research, then send them an email briefly saying that their research sounds exciting and if there are any spots for an undergraduate in their lab. ", "Look up your school's development/alumni relations office. Tell them what kind of internship you are looking for and at which firms. They have databases with alumni info and may be willing to help you reach out to alumni", "Look for research groups/departments within your university. My university has a small website where professors can list their research studies that need a student's help/work. \n\nReach out to professors in your department who do a lot of research and see if they need help on their studies.", "Just start already. I see a lot of your comments saying you're thinking of doing this or that. Just do it already. You want to do econ? Find a list of professors and show up at office hours. Most professors hardly ever see undergrads in office hours, so they'll probably be psyched. The best way to do something is to DO IT.", "If you're looking at academics, go to your local school board office and see if they have summer school slots for Teacher's Assistants or 1:1s. It isn't the most glamorous educational work but you learn A LOT about the educational field and how to handle a variety of complex situations with students of all ages. It takes no degree to get in (though an associates or higher nets you better pay and benefits in my district at least) and you meet a lot of great people (not what you know, who you know).", "I'm in Biology and I know of a lot of Junior/Seniors who get turned down because the mentors know that they will not get as much development/commitment out of them. Start now! Go to office hours and just talk to professors. ", "I don't see it mentioned so I'll throw in my two cents: Start working at a summer camp. There's countless opportunities at those places, and being a Junior in college, I've been working at my summer camp the past two summers as a ropes/zip-lines specialist. You learn something new, you work with kids, you get paid money, you meet new people. It's not a bad gig. I'm sure they always have positions open.", "March is not too early... In my experience, February was getting to be on the late side.\n\nAlso, it's often a numbers game, you just have to send out tons of resumes.", "I am a grad student, and to give my brain a break I worked at a summer day camp with little kids. Spent my time finger painting and playing kickball. It was an amazing summer. Check with your local parks and recreation department if you have any interest in something like this. ", "Apply apply apply. Make a professional portfolio. Look on LinkedIn.com. Make it your job to find a job. Oh it will be the same when you graduate. Good luck. What is your major? ", "Also, any ideas for EMT certified college students? Most Fire departments/Ambulance companies won't hire me because I am pretty young, I am volunteering at an FD right now but I need money and I don't want to work as a lifeguard again.", "i am at the exact same place as you. \n\nThere are a couple of internship opportunities that I know of.\n\n[Workplace Alaska](http://notes5.state.ak.us/wa/postapps.nsf/JobsByScope?OpenView&RestrictToCategory=All+Applicants&count=180) is one that I am applying to, but I am looking into going into Law enforcement and my uncle is the director of the Internship Department there.\n\nunfortunatly, it does require that you move to alaska and revoke your drivers licence for where you live.\n\non the plus side, you do get great pay benefits, expiriance and connections.\n\nhope that this helps :)", "Ask. Over and over as if you had no fear of rejection. Make it your job until you get a job. \n\nFocus on things you are good at or enjoy. Request information interviews with people fairly high on the food chain. Try to network through professors, family members, other employed students, church members, if applicable, campus career services, recent graduates in your field.\n\nIf you obtain interviews, follow up with a thank you note and at least two inquiries.\n\nOf course you want something that leads somewhere. So does everyone else. If necessary seek jobs that others don't want: factory temp nightshift which involves lifting, call centers, fast food, sales, custodial work, etc. Can you walk dogs, care for the aged, infirm, or handicapped? \n\nThe national parks hire students as seasonal help, often waiters, cooks, bussers, or drivers.\n\nTemp agencies often have a few openings for data entry, customer service, security, or telemarketing.\n\nGot a lawnmower? Just asking. Seasonal farm work?\n\nPizza delivery and driving a cab can sometimes work out pretty well.\n\nI hope these suggestions are not too depressing but it's a poor job market right now and things are hard. I am 59 years old with two master's degrees from respected universities and most of the things I suggested are the ways I've put bread on the table in recent years.\n\nThere is also the military and the job corps...\n\nI commend you for starting early but many others started even earlier so don't delay. And also try to get your grades up since that's the main way you'll be evaluated for campus jobs.\n\nI wish you all the best. Almost anyone can outlast the disappointments if they persist long enough. Winston Churchill said \"Success consists of the ability to face repeated failures without loss of enthusiasm.\" He should know.\n\n\n\n" ]

[ 16, 9, 6, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0, 0 ]

[ "How to stop eating out of boredom. I wouldn't say I'm fat but I've definitely put on some weight recently. Mainly since I went from a very active job with lots of lifting, to my current job where I'm sat down for most the day. \nI find myself buying snacks a lot, not because I'm hungry but for the sake of eating and boredom. Especially slow Saturday night shifts! ", "How to stop eating out of boredom. I wouldn't say I'm fat but I've definitely put on some weight recently. Mainly since I went from a very active job with lots of lifting, to my current job where I'm sat down for most the day. \nI find myself buying snacks a lot, not because I'm hungry but for the sake of eating and boredom. Especially slow Saturday night shifts! ", "How to stop eating out of boredom. I wouldn't say I'm fat but I've definitely put on some weight recently. Mainly since I went from a very active job with lots of lifting, to my current job where I'm sat down for most the day. \nI find myself buying snacks a lot, not because I'm hungry but for the sake of eating and boredom. Especially slow Saturday night shifts! ", "How to stop eating out of boredom. I wouldn't say I'm fat but I've definitely put on some weight recently. Mainly since I went from a very active job with lots of lifting, to my current job where I'm sat down for most the day. \nI find myself buying snacks a lot, not because I'm hungry but for the sake of eating and boredom. Especially slow Saturday night shifts! ", "How to stop eating out of boredom. I wouldn't say I'm fat but I've definitely put on some weight recently. Mainly since I went from a very active job with lots of lifting, to my current job where I'm sat down for most the day. \nI find myself buying snacks a lot, not because I'm hungry but for the sake of eating and boredom. Especially slow Saturday night shifts! ", "How to stop eating out of boredom. I wouldn't say I'm fat but I've definitely put on some weight recently. Mainly since I went from a very active job with lots of lifting, to my current job where I'm sat down for most the day. \nI find myself buying snacks a lot, not because I'm hungry but for the sake of eating and boredom. Especially slow Saturday night shifts! " ]

[ "chew gum, drink water. what helps me is instead of brushing my teeth at 1130pm before bed, I brush at like 830pm so i won't feel the urge to dirty my teeth with food. ", "Don't be bored. Get enthusiastic about something new and put time researching, buying, building etc. E.g. fishing, coffee, drawing...", "Counting and tracking calories really helped me here. My wife and I kept a running total of our caloric intake each day on a whiteboard on the fridge when we were trying to lose some weight. It's a lot easier to decide to leave the snacks alone when when you see those numbers adding up.", "Stop buying stuff that you don't want yourself eating. Instead buy healthy snacks or snacks that you don't really like. ", "Plan your meals and snacks. It's super annoying at first, but if just for one week you write down exactly what you're going to eat and when, it's a lot easier to break bad eating habits. \n\nThe important thing is to plan your snacks as well as your meals. People tend not to do this because they don't think it's necessary, but it definitely is. ", "Chew gum, drink water.\n\nHow do you go about getting the snacks? If its I bring them, don't bring them. If you buy them from a shop or something, don't bring change with you.\n\nNight shifts in particular mess's up your sleeping pattern and doesn't help with weight loss. Unsure of what your job is, but read a book or something to keep you not bored!" ]

[ 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "what is the most cost-effective way of auto-body repair? I recently was cornered by a large truck in a small parking garage. I missed the truck but scrapped the bumper of another car. The other car barely had any damage, but my two right side doors took a beating and have a large dent and some paint scratched off. \n\nI'm worried that if I turn it into my insurance it would cost me more in the long run. Anyone have any experience with this? \n\nIf I don't do anything, could the missing paint end up further damaging my new car?", "what is the most cost-effective way of auto-body repair? I recently was cornered by a large truck in a small parking garage. I missed the truck but scrapped the bumper of another car. The other car barely had any damage, but my two right side doors took a beating and have a large dent and some paint scratched off. \n\nI'm worried that if I turn it into my insurance it would cost me more in the long run. Anyone have any experience with this? \n\nIf I don't do anything, could the missing paint end up further damaging my new car?", "what is the most cost-effective way of auto-body repair? I recently was cornered by a large truck in a small parking garage. I missed the truck but scrapped the bumper of another car. The other car barely had any damage, but my two right side doors took a beating and have a large dent and some paint scratched off. \n\nI'm worried that if I turn it into my insurance it would cost me more in the long run. Anyone have any experience with this? \n\nIf I don't do anything, could the missing paint end up further damaging my new car?", "what is the most cost-effective way of auto-body repair? I recently was cornered by a large truck in a small parking garage. I missed the truck but scrapped the bumper of another car. The other car barely had any damage, but my two right side doors took a beating and have a large dent and some paint scratched off. \n\nI'm worried that if I turn it into my insurance it would cost me more in the long run. Anyone have any experience with this? \n\nIf I don't do anything, could the missing paint end up further damaging my new car?", "what is the most cost-effective way of auto-body repair? I recently was cornered by a large truck in a small parking garage. I missed the truck but scrapped the bumper of another car. The other car barely had any damage, but my two right side doors took a beating and have a large dent and some paint scratched off. \n\nI'm worried that if I turn it into my insurance it would cost me more in the long run. Anyone have any experience with this? \n\nIf I don't do anything, could the missing paint end up further damaging my new car?" ]

[ "Go around to local body shops and get estimates, they are free. Without going thru an insurance claim, you can just pay them privately. If you feel that it's too much money (painting 2 doors plus bodywork can reach $1000 here), consider making a claim. You'll have to pay your deductible... But it should be less than that (average is around 300). Depending on your insurance provider, your rates shouldn't go up for a comprehensive claim... But it depends, I suggest calling them and asking.\n\nAn alternative is to pick up some touch up paint and brush the bare metal before it starts rusting. Won't look pretty, and lowers the value of your car, but it will stop it from getting worse.", "Find someone with good reviews to do a paintless dent removal, that is the cheapest way other than doing it yourself. Lost paint will rust, so at least get touch up paint to cover it or have a small spot repair done.", "If you are going to delay repairs takes some fine grain sand paper and smooth off the damaged areas then spray some clear lacquer. It will not look different but for $5 you can prevent rust and further paint chipping. ", "If it's a newer car just go through insurance. If it's older try to find a wrecked model of your car in the same colour at either a scrapper or on Gumtree or whatever the equivalent to Gumtree is in your country. You should be able to buy two replacement doors for quite cheap if you haggle well and replacing them is a sinch.", "If it's a new, newer or otherwise in good shape. Why wouldn't you have it professionally repaired. That just makes no sense. With a dented or damaged car, you will take less pride of ownership and start a snowball effect of skipping or skimping on repairs. Ultimately reducing the life of the vehicle, costing you more in the end. A clean aesthetically nice vehicle draws much less scrutiny. " ]

[ 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Clean your teeth when you don't have access to floss/a toothbrush Once in a while I check my teeth and they don't look freshly cleaned. Obviously, I don't always carry a toothbrush with me. I know those 'Wisp' (little brushes with toothpaste) things exist but I can never find them anywhere. So what can one do in a pinch?", "Clean your teeth when you don't have access to floss/a toothbrush Once in a while I check my teeth and they don't look freshly cleaned. Obviously, I don't always carry a toothbrush with me. I know those 'Wisp' (little brushes with toothpaste) things exist but I can never find them anywhere. So what can one do in a pinch?", "Clean your teeth when you don't have access to floss/a toothbrush Once in a while I check my teeth and they don't look freshly cleaned. Obviously, I don't always carry a toothbrush with me. I know those 'Wisp' (little brushes with toothpaste) things exist but I can never find them anywhere. So what can one do in a pinch?", "Clean your teeth when you don't have access to floss/a toothbrush Once in a while I check my teeth and they don't look freshly cleaned. Obviously, I don't always carry a toothbrush with me. I know those 'Wisp' (little brushes with toothpaste) things exist but I can never find them anywhere. So what can one do in a pinch?", "Clean your teeth when you don't have access to floss/a toothbrush Once in a while I check my teeth and they don't look freshly cleaned. Obviously, I don't always carry a toothbrush with me. I know those 'Wisp' (little brushes with toothpaste) things exist but I can never find them anywhere. So what can one do in a pinch?", "Clean your teeth when you don't have access to floss/a toothbrush Once in a while I check my teeth and they don't look freshly cleaned. Obviously, I don't always carry a toothbrush with me. I know those 'Wisp' (little brushes with toothpaste) things exist but I can never find them anywhere. So what can one do in a pinch?" ]

[ "Try eating an apple if you have one around, it's nature's toothbrush. Biting through the fruit brushes off the surface of your teeth and gets through the crevices too.", "Okay bear with me cause this might seem gross... but find a reasonably clean cloth and rub that against the fronts of your teeth.\n\nIf you're wearing a t-shirt, the collar of your t-shirt works great sincs it is usually made of a rougher material. Rub vigorously against your teeth. Just give it a bit of a rinse in the bathroom afterwards.\n\nIts certainly no substitute for actual brushing but the abrasiveness of the cloth against your teeth temporarily gives your teeth that \"polished\" feel similar to after you just brushed them.", "Keep a small bottle of mouth wash? In your purse for a woman, in your satchel for a man. Everyone has a satchel, right?", "It might be strange to carry around baking soda but you can sprinkle a bit of baking soda on your toothbrush (with toothpaste or not) and get whiter, cleaner teeth !", "Baking soda and a damp cloth. Also this might be of interest to you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miswak -this was used before toothbrushes were invented, basically it's a twig and once you trim the outside bit of the twig (hardest part of it) the inside is soft and wont hurt your gums and it makes your breath smell nice. Never ever try this with any other type of twig; also, these can be found on [ebay](http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_trksid=p5197.m570.l1313&_nkw=miswak&_sacat=0&_from=R40).", "Somewhat relevant. Great for morning sexy time. Bring a few grapes back to the bed in the morning, freshens the face for sexy time." ]

[ 6, 3, 3, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "Memorizing similar words. I have an upcoming test that covers some Confucianism, and I am to know the meaning of around 10 Confucian terms. Te, Tao, Li, Jen, etc. I've made flash cards for each of them, but worry I will associate the word with the wrong meaning, as they are all similar and bare no real meaning to me. What is an efficient way to memorize these words and their respective definitions without confusing them with one another?", "Memorizing similar words. I have an upcoming test that covers some Confucianism, and I am to know the meaning of around 10 Confucian terms. Te, Tao, Li, Jen, etc. I've made flash cards for each of them, but worry I will associate the word with the wrong meaning, as they are all similar and bare no real meaning to me. What is an efficient way to memorize these words and their respective definitions without confusing them with one another?", "Memorizing similar words. I have an upcoming test that covers some Confucianism, and I am to know the meaning of around 10 Confucian terms. Te, Tao, Li, Jen, etc. I've made flash cards for each of them, but worry I will associate the word with the wrong meaning, as they are all similar and bare no real meaning to me. What is an efficient way to memorize these words and their respective definitions without confusing them with one another?", "Memorizing similar words. I have an upcoming test that covers some Confucianism, and I am to know the meaning of around 10 Confucian terms. Te, Tao, Li, Jen, etc. I've made flash cards for each of them, but worry I will associate the word with the wrong meaning, as they are all similar and bare no real meaning to me. What is an efficient way to memorize these words and their respective definitions without confusing them with one another?" ]

[ "Music has always helped me. Just make the things you need to remember into a tune. Even if they don't rhyme. It's so much easier to remember a song than a monologue. ", "I would suggest NOT memorizing them -- not by rote, anyway -- but learning the topics. I've never tried to \"memorize\" the meaning of tao or te, but by being genuinely interested in the Tao Te Ching, and reading a lot about it, the memory of it comes naturally and easily, with ZERO chance of mis-remembering, because the topics are now so well integrated into my overall, personal philosophy. In other words, learn confucianism for confucianist things, but if you want to understand and remember taoist words, delve into taoism a little too.", "Colors can help too. Write the word and definition in the same color, so then you can think, what did the blue one look like? Te, not Tao. ", "Build a memory palace. A memory palace is a real or imagined location where you visualize the information with novel images. So you visualize, for example, walking through your house and at your desk there is something symbolic or visually arresting that reminds you of one term. For example, a huge duck is on your desk that reminds you that Tao is the way because ducks are found on or near waterways. This seems silly but it's unbelievably effective. So you walk through your memory palace seeing all these things and your spatial and visual memory are used instead of just words which the human brain isn't as good at remembering." ]

[ 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "how to maintain a positive outlook in spite of world events? I’ve found my outlook to be increasingly negative due to world and local events. It is making my depression flare up. I’m very pessimistic with my children. I feel like there is no hope, at least in the US. \n\nI see a therapist weekly. I’m hoping for suggestions that people use in their daily lives. \n\nThank you!", "how to maintain a positive outlook in spite of world events? I’ve found my outlook to be increasingly negative due to world and local events. It is making my depression flare up. I’m very pessimistic with my children. I feel like there is no hope, at least in the US. \n\nI see a therapist weekly. I’m hoping for suggestions that people use in their daily lives. \n\nThank you!", "how to maintain a positive outlook in spite of world events? I’ve found my outlook to be increasingly negative due to world and local events. It is making my depression flare up. I’m very pessimistic with my children. I feel like there is no hope, at least in the US. \n\nI see a therapist weekly. I’m hoping for suggestions that people use in their daily lives. \n\nThank you!", "how to maintain a positive outlook in spite of world events? I’ve found my outlook to be increasingly negative due to world and local events. It is making my depression flare up. I’m very pessimistic with my children. I feel like there is no hope, at least in the US. \n\nI see a therapist weekly. I’m hoping for suggestions that people use in their daily lives. \n\nThank you!", "how to maintain a positive outlook in spite of world events? I’ve found my outlook to be increasingly negative due to world and local events. It is making my depression flare up. I’m very pessimistic with my children. I feel like there is no hope, at least in the US. \n\nI see a therapist weekly. I’m hoping for suggestions that people use in their daily lives. \n\nThank you!", "how to maintain a positive outlook in spite of world events? I’ve found my outlook to be increasingly negative due to world and local events. It is making my depression flare up. I’m very pessimistic with my children. I feel like there is no hope, at least in the US. \n\nI see a therapist weekly. I’m hoping for suggestions that people use in their daily lives. \n\nThank you!", "how to maintain a positive outlook in spite of world events? I’ve found my outlook to be increasingly negative due to world and local events. It is making my depression flare up. I’m very pessimistic with my children. I feel like there is no hope, at least in the US. \n\nI see a therapist weekly. I’m hoping for suggestions that people use in their daily lives. \n\nThank you!" ]

[ "Unplug from most of it...at least the parts that are out of your control.\n\nI got rid of my news apps, Facebook, etc...there's never any positive stories", "As someone who worked for a news agency, I say ditch the news. Most of the things are blown out of proportion to boost ratings. The reality is not as bad as it's shown. Especially in the US. Imagine living in Syria ;)", "Take one day at a time that’s all we can do. Just enjoy the blessings you have and do your little bit to help those around you. There is a saying I learnt from some Arabs: ‘What can’t be achieved in full, isn’t abandoned in totality.’ All I’m saying is that we can die unhappy and depressed which in my opinion is actually adding on to the negativity and grief, or we can look at the good and do what is within our capacity to spread good and joy and make the most of it. \n\n‘In every life we have some trouble but when you worry you make it double.’ \n\n‘Take everything with acceptance, but react to it in the best possible way.’ \n\n‘Let go. Be free. Accept stuff. Make your actions positive and don’t worry about what’s going wrong otherwise you won’t be able to make things right.’", "I might be in the minority here, but I think you need to look at this differently. The world is, and therefore seems, very unfair. That can be depressing. \n\nSome people react to that unfairness in the world by taking action. It can seem hopeless, because one person can't change the world. \n\nBut if enough people start taking action, it can. \n\nThere are people in America (and everywhere) that are as concerned as you are, for your children's future. They are joining organized social movements that want to make real change.\n\nA sense of powerlessness is one of the most stressful experiences. You don't have the power to single handedly change the world (unless you go full Nelson Mandela levels of perseverence) but you have the power to *help* change it. \n\n", "With the advent of the internet and non-professional journalists, click bait headlines and articles are saturating our so-called news media. They are written to raise your emotions so you'll click more and more and they'll get advertising $$. As most are saying, you have to unplug. I find the BBC to be the least outrageous, maybe check in once every few days just to kinda know what's going on but try not to obsess every moment. If you have some nature trails nearby, get out in the fresh air with your kids. It'll keep you away from the online poison.", "Remember that news isn't in the business of informing you, they are in the business of keep you engaged to see their ads. They do this by making you feel things emotionally. Not saying you shouldn't care about the world, but things aren't that bad really.\n\nWorth remembering that the world has had literally billions of people coming out of poverty in the last few years and the progress is continuing. It's also far less likely for people to be killed by violence now than in the past. So yes, there are a couple wars going on right now, but you care more because you see them. In the past there were far more wars that were far more brutal but you couldn't expect to find a video recorder connected to the global communication infrastructure in any small village in Africa.\n\nTo top it all off for an American perspective, worth remembering the De Toqueville quote from *Democracy in America* - \"The greatness of America lies not in being more enlightened than any other nation, but rather in her ability to repair her faults.\"\n\nThat was nearly 150 years ago. The country literally went to war over the ability to own others as slaves. Almost 60 years ago we were damned close to complete nuclear annihilation.\n\nTrump is an idiot but it's a flash in the pants and the institutions are doing their job of basically bringing the whole system to a halt and keeping things from working until we get competence back.\n\nNow seriously....try and take just 1 week without watching news and even away from the internet if you think you can. You'll be amazed at how much better you feel.", "Get off the news tit. It's bad for you. The world is pretty scary under a microscope, but seen as a whole, it's great. \n\nThere are three types of people you cannot trust to tell the truth or do the right thing; politicians, corporate newscasters, and the clergy. Learn to ignore those freaks and you'll live a happier, healthier life. " ]

[ 6, 5, 3, 3, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How can you get work done on a project if you are partnered with someone you don't talk with/don't like. It's so annoying when teachers make your groups and put you with a person you have never spoken to and probably never will.", "How can you get work done on a project if you are partnered with someone you don't talk with/don't like. It's so annoying when teachers make your groups and put you with a person you have never spoken to and probably never will.", "How can you get work done on a project if you are partnered with someone you don't talk with/don't like. It's so annoying when teachers make your groups and put you with a person you have never spoken to and probably never will." ]

[ "Welp seeing as how you will be in the work force someday here is my tip: GET OVER YOURSELF! In the real world having this attitude will get you fired no matter your field or position. \nThink of it as having a meeting with someone you don't like but management wants this project done, money is money and in that situation you're wasting it by being shallow.", "Just because it's a group project doesn't mean you guys have to be BFFs. Just be civil and communicate well. ", "There comes a point in one's life where one simply has to grow the fuck up. Now seems to be your time.\n\nI know that sounds rude but I mean it in the kindest way possible. Good look with your project!" ]

[ 3, 3, 2 ]

[ "are there any other uses for packing peanuts? I've been getting a lot in shipments lately and it seems a waste to throw them out, and a waste of space to store them for a potential re-use of packaging since I never mail things.\n\nI *feel* like I remember a post about packing peanuts somewhere on Reddit a long time ago, but the search bar for LPTs and Frugal revealed nothing much.", "are there any other uses for packing peanuts? I've been getting a lot in shipments lately and it seems a waste to throw them out, and a waste of space to store them for a potential re-use of packaging since I never mail things.\n\nI *feel* like I remember a post about packing peanuts somewhere on Reddit a long time ago, but the search bar for LPTs and Frugal revealed nothing much.", "are there any other uses for packing peanuts? I've been getting a lot in shipments lately and it seems a waste to throw them out, and a waste of space to store them for a potential re-use of packaging since I never mail things.\n\nI *feel* like I remember a post about packing peanuts somewhere on Reddit a long time ago, but the search bar for LPTs and Frugal revealed nothing much." ]

[ "* Stuff an old pillowcase and make a dog or cat bed.\n\n* Packing peanuts are absorbent. Line a plant pot with them and they will hold water, allowing you to water less. Going away for a week? Shovel out some dirt, replace with packing peanuts, cover, and water. Dig em up and replace with dirt when you return.\n\n* Peanuts can make great insulation if you have bare spots in your attic. Just fill garbage bags with them and stuff them tightly into trouble spots.\n\n* Do your closets smell like shoes? Take a potato bag or other type of mesh bag, fill with peanuts, and spray with an odorizer of your choice. They will retain the scent for a long time. Just throw the bag in the back of your closet and when the scent fades, re-spray.\n\n", "This is not a way to reuse them, but, you could offer them for free or a small price on craigslist. I have bought packing peanuts before and they aren't cheap. I sell a lot of stuff online and often need peanuts. ", "packing peanuts+gasoline=napalm.\nnot a good idea indoors. also, I take no responsibility if you hurt yourself.\nhere's how: dissolve the nuts into a little gas until its pudding like.\nignite. fun en fuego." ]

[ 10, 5, 3 ]

[ "A simple and cost effective way to deafen sound. I live in a college apartment with very thin walls. Since I don't want to hear everybody's business, or have them hear my business, what are some ways to block incoming/outgoing sound?", "A simple and cost effective way to deafen sound. I live in a college apartment with very thin walls. Since I don't want to hear everybody's business, or have them hear my business, what are some ways to block incoming/outgoing sound?", "A simple and cost effective way to deafen sound. I live in a college apartment with very thin walls. Since I don't want to hear everybody's business, or have them hear my business, what are some ways to block incoming/outgoing sound?", "A simple and cost effective way to deafen sound. I live in a college apartment with very thin walls. Since I don't want to hear everybody's business, or have them hear my business, what are some ways to block incoming/outgoing sound?", "A simple and cost effective way to deafen sound. I live in a college apartment with very thin walls. Since I don't want to hear everybody's business, or have them hear my business, what are some ways to block incoming/outgoing sound?", "A simple and cost effective way to deafen sound. I live in a college apartment with very thin walls. Since I don't want to hear everybody's business, or have them hear my business, what are some ways to block incoming/outgoing sound?" ]

[ "It really depends on what frequencies you're trying to block. \n\nPart of the solution may be dampening whatever connects the noise making to the floor/walls. For lining surfaces, egg crate packing foam/mattress covering is a cheap method.", "If you kill yourself or everyone around you. This will no longer be a problem. Not that I recommend either one.\n\nJust one possible solution. Plus it is free!", "Hanging fabric over the walls will help a little bit. \n\nAlso, as people have said, isolate your speakers if you don't want to disturb others (don't have your speaker touching the walls, keep your subwoofer elevated a little bit extra off the floor, etc)", "Empty Egg boxes are sometimes used for people wanting recording studio lining on the cheap. \n\nAlternatively you could just get studio panels.", "Block Outgoing: items needed include foam Material (egg crate packing foam is easy/cheapest and may be gotten from some local area places for free i.e. grocer, distribution place, shipping place etc. If you can't get the egg type but get smooth you can take random chunks out of it to make it disperse better. Try to get some corrugated cardboard also (pizza boxes)...glue smooth side of foam to cardboard w/ spray adhesive. Attach cardboard side to your wall. (I would use command strips)...Keep in mind the less uniform/symmetrical you make the 'pattern' as you put it on the wall the better. This will absorb part of the sound, disperse a lot of the sound. ", "http://www.amazon.com/V-MODA-Noise-Isolating-Metal-Headphone-Gunmetal/dp/B000V5L5MG\n\n$40 for long lasting and nice noise reduction/canceling. " ]

[ 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 0 ]

[ "How do I, as a 32 y/o, invest/develop myself for a better financial future? Hi, \n\nI am asking how do I best invest myself in improving my financial prospects/life if I look to the long term. I am 32, I work and don't really get much more than the minimum wage. (UK) Enough to live on, right now at least. I've had some changes in life over the last year where it has rendered me financially independent, and made me re-evaluate my relationship with money. I would like to see a potential where I don't just work, but develop so after ten years I can start a career. My current job is not highly skilled and not in any sense, a career, as it's retail.\n\n​\n\nI am interested in a mortgage, as a single person, again lately there have been some opportunities where I am just under the cut for my own flat, and even if I make the cut, I would like some security. \n\n​\n\nI have been looking at job ads for a second job, if it's zero hours I can work with that in contrast to my current job. Studying? I would not know what to study, I think this is the biggest part of my question. I did not take higher education. I left secondary school, fumbled a bit in life, and then got my first job at 24, which I'm still at now. I would like to study, is there any advice on what are good career prospects? I think I am willing to learn anything and invest if I am slightly confident with it.", "How do I, as a 32 y/o, invest/develop myself for a better financial future? Hi, \n\nI am asking how do I best invest myself in improving my financial prospects/life if I look to the long term. I am 32, I work and don't really get much more than the minimum wage. (UK) Enough to live on, right now at least. I've had some changes in life over the last year where it has rendered me financially independent, and made me re-evaluate my relationship with money. I would like to see a potential where I don't just work, but develop so after ten years I can start a career. My current job is not highly skilled and not in any sense, a career, as it's retail.\n\n​\n\nI am interested in a mortgage, as a single person, again lately there have been some opportunities where I am just under the cut for my own flat, and even if I make the cut, I would like some security. \n\n​\n\nI have been looking at job ads for a second job, if it's zero hours I can work with that in contrast to my current job. Studying? I would not know what to study, I think this is the biggest part of my question. I did not take higher education. I left secondary school, fumbled a bit in life, and then got my first job at 24, which I'm still at now. I would like to study, is there any advice on what are good career prospects? I think I am willing to learn anything and invest if I am slightly confident with it.", "How do I, as a 32 y/o, invest/develop myself for a better financial future? Hi, \n\nI am asking how do I best invest myself in improving my financial prospects/life if I look to the long term. I am 32, I work and don't really get much more than the minimum wage. (UK) Enough to live on, right now at least. I've had some changes in life over the last year where it has rendered me financially independent, and made me re-evaluate my relationship with money. I would like to see a potential where I don't just work, but develop so after ten years I can start a career. My current job is not highly skilled and not in any sense, a career, as it's retail.\n\n​\n\nI am interested in a mortgage, as a single person, again lately there have been some opportunities where I am just under the cut for my own flat, and even if I make the cut, I would like some security. \n\n​\n\nI have been looking at job ads for a second job, if it's zero hours I can work with that in contrast to my current job. Studying? I would not know what to study, I think this is the biggest part of my question. I did not take higher education. I left secondary school, fumbled a bit in life, and then got my first job at 24, which I'm still at now. I would like to study, is there any advice on what are good career prospects? I think I am willing to learn anything and invest if I am slightly confident with it.", "How do I, as a 32 y/o, invest/develop myself for a better financial future? Hi, \n\nI am asking how do I best invest myself in improving my financial prospects/life if I look to the long term. I am 32, I work and don't really get much more than the minimum wage. (UK) Enough to live on, right now at least. I've had some changes in life over the last year where it has rendered me financially independent, and made me re-evaluate my relationship with money. I would like to see a potential where I don't just work, but develop so after ten years I can start a career. My current job is not highly skilled and not in any sense, a career, as it's retail.\n\n​\n\nI am interested in a mortgage, as a single person, again lately there have been some opportunities where I am just under the cut for my own flat, and even if I make the cut, I would like some security. \n\n​\n\nI have been looking at job ads for a second job, if it's zero hours I can work with that in contrast to my current job. Studying? I would not know what to study, I think this is the biggest part of my question. I did not take higher education. I left secondary school, fumbled a bit in life, and then got my first job at 24, which I'm still at now. I would like to study, is there any advice on what are good career prospects? I think I am willing to learn anything and invest if I am slightly confident with it.", "How do I, as a 32 y/o, invest/develop myself for a better financial future? Hi, \n\nI am asking how do I best invest myself in improving my financial prospects/life if I look to the long term. I am 32, I work and don't really get much more than the minimum wage. (UK) Enough to live on, right now at least. I've had some changes in life over the last year where it has rendered me financially independent, and made me re-evaluate my relationship with money. I would like to see a potential where I don't just work, but develop so after ten years I can start a career. My current job is not highly skilled and not in any sense, a career, as it's retail.\n\n​\n\nI am interested in a mortgage, as a single person, again lately there have been some opportunities where I am just under the cut for my own flat, and even if I make the cut, I would like some security. \n\n​\n\nI have been looking at job ads for a second job, if it's zero hours I can work with that in contrast to my current job. Studying? I would not know what to study, I think this is the biggest part of my question. I did not take higher education. I left secondary school, fumbled a bit in life, and then got my first job at 24, which I'm still at now. I would like to study, is there any advice on what are good career prospects? I think I am willing to learn anything and invest if I am slightly confident with it." ]

[ "Follow “the Money Guys” on YouTube. Very simple, basic financial content and strategy. It will work. They get into complicated subject but you’re at the basics, emergency fund, 401k match… go from there", "one potential possibility is to reach out to your manage what skillset you need to move up. offcause it depends on the what type of job you have. But i have successfully in 2 companies received a response with getting certain certificates and I would get a pay boost.", "The options are endless if you are looking at *every* possibility. Start to narrow down where your interests, skills, and desires overlap. Office work? Fixing things? Operating heavy equipment? Working with animals? Working with kids?\n\nAs you are able to narrow down your choices, look for internships or apprenticeships. \n\nDon't be afraid to try something and then decide to move on to something else if you're not happy. Sick it out long enough to really give it a chance since learning a new skill is often overwhelming. The job I loved the most required a specialized skill set that ultimately took close to two years to get proficient at.", "The first thing you should do is invest in yourself, you don't have to wait 10 years to start a career. Go back to school or learn a trade. Learn a skill that will allow you to earn more money.\n\nAfter you start earning more money, start a savings account. Ideally, you'll have 3-6 months of expenses saved up. After that, you can really start investing in your future. I don't know if employers in the UK have retirement accounts like a 401k but that's an easy place to start and it's potentially free money. You can also do self funded investment accounts", "I mean, the first step is to find a career.\n\nThe first step to doing that is to figure out what you might like. The best way to do this is to talk to people who work in roles you think sound interesting. You would be surprised how many people are willing to take a half hour to talk with you about their job if you just cold email them. That said, people you know are much more likely to say yes.\n\nA lot of these conversations will also come with various recommendations for you to pursue and may even directly lead to a job opportunity. This kind of networking is the key to finding a good job." ]

[ 3, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Being witty NOW and not 12 hours later This has got to be one of the most frustrating things that I have been dealing with for years and I don't know how to work on it. \n\nLet's say I'm talking to someone; in person, in a group, over text, whatever. When they say something or send me a picture or whatever, my reactions tend to be quite....normal and dull. Then a few hours after the fact a witty comment will suddenly pop into my head and I'm left thinking, \"Why the hell could I have not thought of that *then* instead of now?\"\n\nDo tips to improve this even exist?", "Being witty NOW and not 12 hours later This has got to be one of the most frustrating things that I have been dealing with for years and I don't know how to work on it. \n\nLet's say I'm talking to someone; in person, in a group, over text, whatever. When they say something or send me a picture or whatever, my reactions tend to be quite....normal and dull. Then a few hours after the fact a witty comment will suddenly pop into my head and I'm left thinking, \"Why the hell could I have not thought of that *then* instead of now?\"\n\nDo tips to improve this even exist?", "Being witty NOW and not 12 hours later This has got to be one of the most frustrating things that I have been dealing with for years and I don't know how to work on it. \n\nLet's say I'm talking to someone; in person, in a group, over text, whatever. When they say something or send me a picture or whatever, my reactions tend to be quite....normal and dull. Then a few hours after the fact a witty comment will suddenly pop into my head and I'm left thinking, \"Why the hell could I have not thought of that *then* instead of now?\"\n\nDo tips to improve this even exist?", "Being witty NOW and not 12 hours later This has got to be one of the most frustrating things that I have been dealing with for years and I don't know how to work on it. \n\nLet's say I'm talking to someone; in person, in a group, over text, whatever. When they say something or send me a picture or whatever, my reactions tend to be quite....normal and dull. Then a few hours after the fact a witty comment will suddenly pop into my head and I'm left thinking, \"Why the hell could I have not thought of that *then* instead of now?\"\n\nDo tips to improve this even exist?", "Being witty NOW and not 12 hours later This has got to be one of the most frustrating things that I have been dealing with for years and I don't know how to work on it. \n\nLet's say I'm talking to someone; in person, in a group, over text, whatever. When they say something or send me a picture or whatever, my reactions tend to be quite....normal and dull. Then a few hours after the fact a witty comment will suddenly pop into my head and I'm left thinking, \"Why the hell could I have not thought of that *then* instead of now?\"\n\nDo tips to improve this even exist?", "Being witty NOW and not 12 hours later This has got to be one of the most frustrating things that I have been dealing with for years and I don't know how to work on it. \n\nLet's say I'm talking to someone; in person, in a group, over text, whatever. When they say something or send me a picture or whatever, my reactions tend to be quite....normal and dull. Then a few hours after the fact a witty comment will suddenly pop into my head and I'm left thinking, \"Why the hell could I have not thought of that *then* instead of now?\"\n\nDo tips to improve this even exist?", "Being witty NOW and not 12 hours later This has got to be one of the most frustrating things that I have been dealing with for years and I don't know how to work on it. \n\nLet's say I'm talking to someone; in person, in a group, over text, whatever. When they say something or send me a picture or whatever, my reactions tend to be quite....normal and dull. Then a few hours after the fact a witty comment will suddenly pop into my head and I'm left thinking, \"Why the hell could I have not thought of that *then* instead of now?\"\n\nDo tips to improve this even exist?", "Being witty NOW and not 12 hours later This has got to be one of the most frustrating things that I have been dealing with for years and I don't know how to work on it. \n\nLet's say I'm talking to someone; in person, in a group, over text, whatever. When they say something or send me a picture or whatever, my reactions tend to be quite....normal and dull. Then a few hours after the fact a witty comment will suddenly pop into my head and I'm left thinking, \"Why the hell could I have not thought of that *then* instead of now?\"\n\nDo tips to improve this even exist?" ]

[ "There's probably some kind of [L'esprit de l'escalier](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier) community that could help you out. :P", "I have a fairly quick wit. I guess it's a matter of knowing your audience and what will entertain them and then finding a tangible connection to something humorous they can relate to.\n\nFor example if you're at work this might include recent meetings, policy changes, etc... Problems you all face.\n\nWith your friends maybe that involves shows they watch or jokes they've made to you based on whether they are into dark humor, dirty banter or dad jokes, that sort of thing.\n\nBasically you find something that is funny and relates to the situation at hand and then link the two. \n\nJust don't force it. Don't try to be witty, instead make a game of causing a reaction from the other people.", "Go to a bar and chat with the less attractive girls (or boys, I don't judge) there. It'll be easier to talk to them and after a few drinks or just chilling out there for a little while will loosen you up and help you practice. Do that a few times and you'll get used to it.", "I don't know if it's the sort of thing you can really learn, but:\n\nWhenever I'm bored I tend to think about random things and maybe try a little too hard to find some humor in them. This ends up building a sort of \"cache\" of funny connections that sometimes end up being useful for a quick joke or witty comment.", "Watch, read and listen to a lot of comedy. And I mean a lot. The timings, expressions and gestures are all there to absorb. I'm not saying copy what comedians or characters say, but rather what was their take on the situation at that exact moment? Did you find it funny? Clever? Was it a curve ball response – or, was it sitting there waiting to be said? You just have to pre-empt what people say sometimes especially in real life conservations.\n\nText replies can be as simple as one word. i.e. saying \"DIRRTY!\" if someone texts you: \"Have you seen Christina Aguilera's new hair cut?\" The response was sitting right there! One word... BAM! Leave the room. Of course this could or couldn't work if they say: \"Have you seen Britney Spears' new hair cut?\" and you got the two young ladies mixed up. Fuck it, just text back \"DIRRTY!\"", "One thing I've learned helps is having a vast repertoire of pop culture references.\n\nWatch a lot of movies and TV shows, play a lot of video games, listen to a lot of music. And, of course, browse the internet. You'll have much more material you can allude to in your responses.", "I'm pretty quick witted and I still will sometimes hours later think of something that would have been even better. It's just human nature.", "As others have stated, practice and contextual input is the most important.\n\nBy being in situations where the opportunity for wit is common, you will become more practised in applying your wit. Similarly by having a large knowledge base you will increase the amount of topics in which you can be witty.\n\nOne thing no one has recommended is to hang out with witty people, at first this will slow you down as your opportunities for wit will be claimed by others, but the more you spend time with them the more tour thought process will align with theirs. Unfortunately this last method requires quality friends which are hard to find." ]

[ 4, 3, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "A tiny cat snuck into my car's engine. It's a very cold night and I don't want him to stay there, how can I get him out of there? ", "A tiny cat snuck into my car's engine. It's a very cold night and I don't want him to stay there, how can I get him out of there? ", "A tiny cat snuck into my car's engine. It's a very cold night and I don't want him to stay there, how can I get him out of there? ", "A tiny cat snuck into my car's engine. It's a very cold night and I don't want him to stay there, how can I get him out of there? ", "A tiny cat snuck into my car's engine. It's a very cold night and I don't want him to stay there, how can I get him out of there? ", "A tiny cat snuck into my car's engine. It's a very cold night and I don't want him to stay there, how can I get him out of there? ", "A tiny cat snuck into my car's engine. It's a very cold night and I don't want him to stay there, how can I get him out of there? ", "A tiny cat snuck into my car's engine. It's a very cold night and I don't want him to stay there, how can I get him out of there? ", "A tiny cat snuck into my car's engine. It's a very cold night and I don't want him to stay there, how can I get him out of there? ", "A tiny cat snuck into my car's engine. It's a very cold night and I don't want him to stay there, how can I get him out of there? ", "A tiny cat snuck into my car's engine. It's a very cold night and I don't want him to stay there, how can I get him out of there? ", "A tiny cat snuck into my car's engine. It's a very cold night and I don't want him to stay there, how can I get him out of there? ", "A tiny cat snuck into my car's engine. It's a very cold night and I don't want him to stay there, how can I get him out of there? " ]

[ "Lets start thinking like a cat here, alright? You know - we need another cat. That's what we need. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to crack a little hole in your car- a tiny one, it'll be cool - and then I'm going to slip a second cat in with a string tied around it. Those two will become codependent, then I'll rip the second cat out and the first one hopefully, hopefully will follow.", "Guys, I put the can of tuna on a plate on the floor, along with some milk and a box. This morning the tuna was gone and milk was drank, and he was chilling in my porch getting some sun. The moment I opened the door he ran away into the car's engine. Goddammit.", "Open a can of tuna on your porch and put out a box with some warm towels or blankets so he will have a better option than car engines.", "Get that B some fancy feast, put it in a glass dish, and then clink it with a fork until it comes prancing into the kitchen", "Being a cat-lover all my life, I agree with the suggestion of water. Cats hate water.\nI'd get out the water hose and douse the cat. He'll scamper, I assure you. \n\nAlternately, you could scare it out with a vacuum cleaner. For some reason, cats will scamper at the sound of a vacuum cleaner. You'll want to use the hose attachment hose, of course.\n\nPlease, whatever you do, don't start the car. You may end up with a tragedy on your hands.", "We had the same thing happen to us. It was a hot summer day. We sprayed water in there. We tempted him with food (but this just attracted strays), so we left him. Once it was quiet, he got out on his own. He's probably snuggling up to the warm engine. Bad thing is that if he's in the wrong spot when you turn on the engine, you could kill him.", "I saw a tutorial recently where a person made a cat-house using straw, two plastic tubs, and styrofoam as insulation. It probably didn't cost more than $10. Make one of those for that poor cat. \n\n", "Cat treats (if you have them), or even dog food any kind of meet leave some on a plate and then walk away, don't wait for the cat right beside the truck, but like around the corner, stray cats tend to scare easy a lot of the time and you don't want to scare it back into the truck once hes out", "Play high notes on a clarinet near the cat. Cats don't like it at all. It got my stressed and injured cat out of a tight hiding place so we could take her to the vet to get fixed up.", "Did you try the ol' box, stick, and strong method? You know, tie a string to the stick, prop open the box with the string, put some food under the box, pull the stick out when the cat goes to eat.", "is he stuck? if not, he'll get out of there at some point.\n\nIf you have to use the car, I guess slamming a door open and shut a couple of times should get him out of there with the noise and the vibration.", "Do you have a laser pointer? That usually works with cats. And once out, are you taking him inside? Otherwise, he'll be right back in there.", "You could call animal control. I imagine they deal with that pretty often during winter. If they don't come themselves then they may be able to give you a better idea what to do than any of us morons." ]

[ 109, 58, 38, 27, 13, 8, 8, 7, 5, 3, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n", "I have tried so much to get telemarketers to stop (more info below) What can I do? I get the calls all the time, and each time I try the \"mail me your privacy and opt-out policies\" thing that was on here a while ago, but they always hang up and keep calling from different numbers. I have over 100 blocked telemarketer numbers in my phone, and I am unable to connect with someone if I call back. \n" ]

[ "I'm on the do-not-call registry, I've filed the online ftc complaints, I've asked them not to call, told them not to call, shouted at them not to call, asked them to remove me from their lists, nothing works.\n\n\nNow I just breathe heavy and use a husky whisper to ask them what they're wearing. Their awkwardness is palpable.", "If you're an American:\n\n1) [Register with the Do Not Call Registry](https://www.donotcall.gov/).\n2) [Report offenders](https://www.donotcall.gov/complaint/complaintcheck.aspx).\n\nIt takes some upfront work but has been very successful for me.", "[Do number 10 first](http://ihatetelemarketers.com/ten-ways-to-mess-with-telemarketers/) then just have fun with them. \n\nIf it's an actual company, whether telemarketer or debt collector, first step is to revoke consent - \"take me off your list\" or \"this is my cell phone, do not call again\" and then if they keep calling report them to a consumer advocacy group like the one linked above, [IHateTelemarketers.com](http://ihatetelemarketers.com/)\n\nLawyers are happy to take on these cases since 2013 when congress imposed stiff fines for these companies who engage in illegal practices. Like most attorneys you see on TV, they only get paid when you get paid, so very little/no risk. \n\nIf they are scammers there is not a lot you can do - they just rotate phone numbers and are impossible to track down. Sorry. \n\nDisclaimer: IANAL and this is not legal advice.", "Best thing to do is waste their time. Pretend that you're interested, have a 15+ min conversation, every wasted minute costs them money. Plus, they won't want to call you back because they know you'll waste more time.", "Well.. Here I live we have 1 huge firm that's really aggressive and calls all the time, just for 'other firms\". Fuck that. So one day they called, I got pissed and finally Tok the phone. \n\n'\"hi, it's from xxx to ask for xxx, am I talking to xxx? \n\nMe: \"no, it's not. He recently passed away, and I'm having his phone just to give anyone who calls this message \"\n\nThem:\" I'm so sorry for your loss sir, bye\" \n\nHaven't heard from them ever again. \n\n", "STOP answering unknown calls. If it is a real person and important, they will leave a message. Every live answer is marked as a valid number. You can tell them to stop calling and they might by law, but they can still sell your number to someone else. Some apps have a capability that only allows calls through from your contact list.", "Lawyer here:\n\nIf you can actually identify the name of the companies calling, contact a TCPA attorney. If they're really persistent, and they don't stop, you can sue them (usually at no cost to you) for $500-$1500 per call.\n\nunfortunately, most of the telemarketers who ignore the DNC list are either overseas or who a masterful job of spoofing their caller ID.", "Stop signing up to win a free gift card or iPad. \n\nRemove all instances of your name and phone number online.\n\nBuy a second phone. It's cool to have two phones now. One for the plug, one for the load.", "My dad's name is jean pronounced nothing like a pair of jeans, which is John in French. Every telemarketer starts by asking, is ms. Jean (the female English name) in? He just says \"no she's not in\" and hangs up.", "I usually go on youtube and type in \"Sorry this number is not valid\" Once I get the recording of it I put it against the mic of my phone when they call me. They usually end the call right after the message and it works very well!", "I like to believe that my method is original, Being that most companies require you to be 18+ years old to sign up for anything; I'll usually tell them i'm lie 15 and they usually hang up on me... \n\nhaven't had a telemarketer call in about two months now...", "I don't know how to stop them calling, but I have some good tricks to get rid of them once they do:\n\n* After they've presented themselves, just say \"That's strange, someone from your company called just a few hours ago, something must be wrong in your system.\". They'll apologize and hang up, and quite possibly, someone will spend time searching for bugs in their system which does not exist (especially if many use this trick).\n\n* If they want you to switch phone provider, just say (on the phone...) \"I have no phone\". There is no way for them to save that call, so they'll hang up.", "I did this a few times because they really wouldn't stop calling even after telling them to take me off the call list several times. \n\nWhenever they call and ask if you have a minute say \"yeah sure, go ahead.\" Let them talk for about 30 seconds then say \"Ah shit. Hey could you hold on a second? One second I think I just--just hold on a sec.\" \n\nLeave the phone on speaker and go about your business. When they ask \"Excuse me, are you still there?\" say \"Yeah sorry!! I'm just trying to fix this -aah dammit! Sorry just hold on for another few seconds I'll be real quick.\" \n\nRinse and repeat until they hang up. ", "Get a child to record ou voice message for you, when I was eight I recorded one for my uncle (as a joke) and now the telemarketers hang up or at least don't call back if they get voice mail (usually.", "Change your number. Typically AT&T and other phone companies will allow a free number change by request if you explain whats going on. ", "Ask them for documentation and licensure. the more professional sounding, the more it sounds you mean business", "Apply to the no-call list, most companies wont call you after that, but know that accidents happen, Tell the telemarketer what's up, they will apoligize and Tell their supervisor about it(just make sure they write your number and name down because they will otherwise forget). Have a full comversation with the guy of a company because they often will move you back to the call list if the call is too short. People fuck up, yes the Person who is calling you is actually a Person so be nice, they often have no control who they HAVE TO call from the hundreds they call.", "Do not call registry does not work for callers outside of your country (or in the US it might even be state) as there is no way to hold them accountable. Many will use auto-dialers from overseas that spoof numbers so you can't really do anything about it. I just ignore private numbers & numbers I don't recognised, if it's important they will leave a voicemail." ]

[ 27, 8, 6, 5, 4, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "How to become a better negotiator This is an odd place for me to ask for this type of question, but I'm in somewhat of a high powered position, dealing with other high powered CEOs with decades of experience. In a given board meeting, it's 8 - 10 high CEOs and VPs that are in their 50s, and then there's me, a 32 year old who pretty much fell into the job. Unfortunately, I am very weak in negotiations, and I feel like I'm at a disadvantage. I get run over during the negotiations. Essentially, I feel like Richard Hendricks in silicon valley.\n\nHow do I become a better negotiator, and not get run over on these deals?", "How to become a better negotiator This is an odd place for me to ask for this type of question, but I'm in somewhat of a high powered position, dealing with other high powered CEOs with decades of experience. In a given board meeting, it's 8 - 10 high CEOs and VPs that are in their 50s, and then there's me, a 32 year old who pretty much fell into the job. Unfortunately, I am very weak in negotiations, and I feel like I'm at a disadvantage. I get run over during the negotiations. Essentially, I feel like Richard Hendricks in silicon valley.\n\nHow do I become a better negotiator, and not get run over on these deals?", "How to become a better negotiator This is an odd place for me to ask for this type of question, but I'm in somewhat of a high powered position, dealing with other high powered CEOs with decades of experience. In a given board meeting, it's 8 - 10 high CEOs and VPs that are in their 50s, and then there's me, a 32 year old who pretty much fell into the job. Unfortunately, I am very weak in negotiations, and I feel like I'm at a disadvantage. I get run over during the negotiations. Essentially, I feel like Richard Hendricks in silicon valley.\n\nHow do I become a better negotiator, and not get run over on these deals?", "How to become a better negotiator This is an odd place for me to ask for this type of question, but I'm in somewhat of a high powered position, dealing with other high powered CEOs with decades of experience. In a given board meeting, it's 8 - 10 high CEOs and VPs that are in their 50s, and then there's me, a 32 year old who pretty much fell into the job. Unfortunately, I am very weak in negotiations, and I feel like I'm at a disadvantage. I get run over during the negotiations. Essentially, I feel like Richard Hendricks in silicon valley.\n\nHow do I become a better negotiator, and not get run over on these deals?", "How to become a better negotiator This is an odd place for me to ask for this type of question, but I'm in somewhat of a high powered position, dealing with other high powered CEOs with decades of experience. In a given board meeting, it's 8 - 10 high CEOs and VPs that are in their 50s, and then there's me, a 32 year old who pretty much fell into the job. Unfortunately, I am very weak in negotiations, and I feel like I'm at a disadvantage. I get run over during the negotiations. Essentially, I feel like Richard Hendricks in silicon valley.\n\nHow do I become a better negotiator, and not get run over on these deals?" ]

[ "Here are a few things to know:\n\n1) know what you want and then ask for more. Whenever you negotiate, it will always be a battle. \n\n2) go to a local swap meet and buy 10 things from 10 different merchants. Do not pay their price, but negotiate down and say you want to make a deal, but only have $8 for a $10 item. It’s a small thing, but will be good practice for you. \n\n3) the difference between negotiations and conflict is when you want the same resource. Conflict is difficult, negotiations are easier when you can find out what both parties want. \n\n4) it is only ever a negotiation if you are willing to walk away. Always, always start with that in mind. If you aren’t willing to walk away, then you aren’t ready for it. Find out what you want and what the other party wants. Be creative and flexible on both sides. This is an exchange of value. \n\nI’m not much further ahead than you (37) and have similar meetings with suits and can appreciate where you are. Feel free to dm me if you need anything specific answered. ", "I’m sure there are quite a few great books out there for this sort of thing. They’d probably give you much better advice than random redditors", "I've worked in sales for a few years and one thing rings true; tell them the benefits to them/their organisation. \n\nUs humans are selfish and rightly so, if you appeal to an individual's self worth you're much more likely to convince them of an alternative.", "Figure out how to make their opportunity cost of not working with you (doing the deal, making the decision etc.) greater than the cost of doing things the way you want to proceed. Where is your value and what do you bring to the table? How can you make your advantage create value for them? Once you figure out what you can do to create a net gain on both sides pitch it. https://fee.org+/articles/how-to-make-better-decisions-by-understanding-opportunity-cost/", "Secrets Of Power Negotiating by Roger Dawson is a great book. I would defiantly recommend reading it. It has defiantly helped me. " ]

[ 5, 3, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "How to get deodorant off of clothes I often wear black T-Shirt, and end up with white deodorant streaks sort of near the bottom, which I can assume got there when I put my shirt on, no matter how careful I am. What are some easy ways to get these streaks out?", "How to get deodorant off of clothes I often wear black T-Shirt, and end up with white deodorant streaks sort of near the bottom, which I can assume got there when I put my shirt on, no matter how careful I am. What are some easy ways to get these streaks out?", "How to get deodorant off of clothes I often wear black T-Shirt, and end up with white deodorant streaks sort of near the bottom, which I can assume got there when I put my shirt on, no matter how careful I am. What are some easy ways to get these streaks out?", "How to get deodorant off of clothes I often wear black T-Shirt, and end up with white deodorant streaks sort of near the bottom, which I can assume got there when I put my shirt on, no matter how careful I am. What are some easy ways to get these streaks out?", "How to get deodorant off of clothes I often wear black T-Shirt, and end up with white deodorant streaks sort of near the bottom, which I can assume got there when I put my shirt on, no matter how careful I am. What are some easy ways to get these streaks out?" ]

[ "Would you consider putting on deodorant after you have the shirt on? \n\nI'm not sure if there's any other way to prevent the streaks if you put the shirt on after, but if the deodorant happens to be staining your shirts, [there was a post awhile back](http://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/mlsuo/lpt_got_white_deodorant_stains_on_your_dark/) that had some tips on how to remove stains.", "I used to have this problem, I also got white marks in the pits of my shirts. I would rub the spot with my hands and it went away.", "Before putting on the shirt, fold the waist of it up halfway. Then if deodorant gets on it it'll be on the inside of the shirt.", "Put your shirt on first, then put your hand (with the deodorant) through the collar/opening at the top. ", "I put on my shirt, then lift/fold it up half way (as if I'm making a belly shirt). Now, the real hem of my shirt is up higher, and the fake hem I just created is actually the inside waist area. Then I put the deodorant on, so if I do accidentially hit the edge my shirt, it will fold down and be the inside of the shirt. This is easier to explain with pictures, but I unforunately have not captured this part of my day on film yet." ]

[ 6, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to prevent/eliminate the seat of your pants from sagging & looking unattractive. For my entire life I have had a problem with the butt of my pants (shorts and long pants) sagging. I am not talking about the material sagging over time, but just because of the shape of my body the seat of my pants always seems to sag and look \"dumpy\". I try to pull my pants up higher on my waist or tighten my belt but the pants always slip back down after sitting down, bending over, or really doing anything. Any tips on how to wear my pants or alter the pants to solve this problem?", "How to prevent/eliminate the seat of your pants from sagging & looking unattractive. For my entire life I have had a problem with the butt of my pants (shorts and long pants) sagging. I am not talking about the material sagging over time, but just because of the shape of my body the seat of my pants always seems to sag and look \"dumpy\". I try to pull my pants up higher on my waist or tighten my belt but the pants always slip back down after sitting down, bending over, or really doing anything. Any tips on how to wear my pants or alter the pants to solve this problem?", "How to prevent/eliminate the seat of your pants from sagging & looking unattractive. For my entire life I have had a problem with the butt of my pants (shorts and long pants) sagging. I am not talking about the material sagging over time, but just because of the shape of my body the seat of my pants always seems to sag and look \"dumpy\". I try to pull my pants up higher on my waist or tighten my belt but the pants always slip back down after sitting down, bending over, or really doing anything. Any tips on how to wear my pants or alter the pants to solve this problem?", "How to prevent/eliminate the seat of your pants from sagging & looking unattractive. For my entire life I have had a problem with the butt of my pants (shorts and long pants) sagging. I am not talking about the material sagging over time, but just because of the shape of my body the seat of my pants always seems to sag and look \"dumpy\". I try to pull my pants up higher on my waist or tighten my belt but the pants always slip back down after sitting down, bending over, or really doing anything. Any tips on how to wear my pants or alter the pants to solve this problem?", "How to prevent/eliminate the seat of your pants from sagging & looking unattractive. For my entire life I have had a problem with the butt of my pants (shorts and long pants) sagging. I am not talking about the material sagging over time, but just because of the shape of my body the seat of my pants always seems to sag and look \"dumpy\". I try to pull my pants up higher on my waist or tighten my belt but the pants always slip back down after sitting down, bending over, or really doing anything. Any tips on how to wear my pants or alter the pants to solve this problem?" ]

[ "Sorry to burst your bubble but you need to find better fitting pants. If the regular \"store bought\" pants dont fit you right then youll have to get measured.", "I do appreciate everyone's input. Just to clarify, I am mainly looking for a solution to this problem with jeans. Can jeans be altered in this way? I feel like the material and stitching may make this difficult.", "I don't know where or in how big a town you live, but get to a mall and go to a store like [Buckle](http://www.buckle.com/). They're awesome for helping you find jeans that fit you well, and they have a million different styles. True story. I counted once.\n\nI dragged my 41-year-old husband in there once because he was having the same problem you are. His jeans were 15 years old and completely out of style. While a lot of Buckle's stuff is very trendy and college-boy looking, they found about five different, more subdued styles for my shy husband to try. He found some that looked really good on him and make his butt look nice.", "When pants shopping you don't need to find ones that fit perfectly. Find ones that don't droop and have a tailor adjust the waist/length to make it fit.", "I think it's just a case of finding pants that fit correctly.\n\nHint: pants should stay up on their own without a belt, but you should be able to pull them down with a little effort." ]

[ 9, 3, 2, 1, -1 ]

[ "Becoming friends or more with a coworker I am an 18 yr old female. Two months ago, I began working at an ice rink. Theres a guy there (29) that I like, but I'd really love to build a friendship. We have witty banter and I have his number, but we've never texted. I'm not really sure how to initiate hanging out since he isn't a people person and is very picky with what we do. Any advice would be lovely! ", "Becoming friends or more with a coworker I am an 18 yr old female. Two months ago, I began working at an ice rink. Theres a guy there (29) that I like, but I'd really love to build a friendship. We have witty banter and I have his number, but we've never texted. I'm not really sure how to initiate hanging out since he isn't a people person and is very picky with what we do. Any advice would be lovely! ", "Becoming friends or more with a coworker I am an 18 yr old female. Two months ago, I began working at an ice rink. Theres a guy there (29) that I like, but I'd really love to build a friendship. We have witty banter and I have his number, but we've never texted. I'm not really sure how to initiate hanging out since he isn't a people person and is very picky with what we do. Any advice would be lovely! " ]

[ "He probably thinks you are too young for him. I have been in that position and it didn't interests me because she was just too young, ten years difference is quit a bit when you take maturity, goals, interests and intent etc. etc. into the situation. \n\n I wouldn't take it personal, if it's clear you're hitting on him and nothing happens then thats all that will happen. Not being a people person I can attest that if he don't bite, working on him like that will just annoy him. ", "Being a male person that does not like the company of others.\n\nI'd recommend asking to go do something he enjoys together.\nThe fact you have banter at work means he likely already considers you more of a friend than a coworker.", "Be straight up with him and tell him you'd like to be friends with him. Tell him you'd like to do something he's interested in/get to know him better. Being forthcoming is the easiest way about that. \n\nStill, the age difference is something slight to take notice of because of the stages of life each of you are in. Be precautions with your feelings and definitely try to be friends first.\n\nGood luck! " ]

[ 3, 3, 1 ]

[ "how do i iron my clothes better, so they look nicer after ironing, and doesn't take too long. Any tips will be appreciated. ", "how do i iron my clothes better, so they look nicer after ironing, and doesn't take too long. Any tips will be appreciated. ", "how do i iron my clothes better, so they look nicer after ironing, and doesn't take too long. Any tips will be appreciated. ", "how do i iron my clothes better, so they look nicer after ironing, and doesn't take too long. Any tips will be appreciated. " ]

[ "hang everything up as soon as you pull it from the dryer, while it’s still warm. Also, try a garment steamer. Much faster, and no chance of ironing in a wrinkle because you didn’t notice there was a wrinkle on the other side when you started to iron it. Then just hit the cuffs and collars with the iron to make them look crisp. ", "I used to work at a clothing store and we would always use a steamer to make the clothes perfect. I find that it’s easier and you get better results. ", "Put the clothes you're going to wear into the shower with you. The steam will get rid of the wrinkles.", "Make up a light starch solution (water, liquid starch, optional few drops of fragrance), put in a spray bottle. Use lots of spray before or while ironing. It will go quicker and hold up better." ]

[ 5, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "how to deal with panhandling I live in the Charlotte area and panhandling at traffic lights and gas stations is obnoxious. Every light every gas stop. \n\nNow I'm conflicted because I feel like I wanna help em but some of these people have an Obama phone, wearing new kicks and don't look to bad. But still beg for money. \n\nNormally I completely ignore them even if they call out. Which makes me feel horrible.\n\n Is there a better way to deal with these interactions? ", "how to deal with panhandling I live in the Charlotte area and panhandling at traffic lights and gas stations is obnoxious. Every light every gas stop. \n\nNow I'm conflicted because I feel like I wanna help em but some of these people have an Obama phone, wearing new kicks and don't look to bad. But still beg for money. \n\nNormally I completely ignore them even if they call out. Which makes me feel horrible.\n\n Is there a better way to deal with these interactions? ", "how to deal with panhandling I live in the Charlotte area and panhandling at traffic lights and gas stations is obnoxious. Every light every gas stop. \n\nNow I'm conflicted because I feel like I wanna help em but some of these people have an Obama phone, wearing new kicks and don't look to bad. But still beg for money. \n\nNormally I completely ignore them even if they call out. Which makes me feel horrible.\n\n Is there a better way to deal with these interactions? ", "how to deal with panhandling I live in the Charlotte area and panhandling at traffic lights and gas stations is obnoxious. Every light every gas stop. \n\nNow I'm conflicted because I feel like I wanna help em but some of these people have an Obama phone, wearing new kicks and don't look to bad. But still beg for money. \n\nNormally I completely ignore them even if they call out. Which makes me feel horrible.\n\n Is there a better way to deal with these interactions? ", "how to deal with panhandling I live in the Charlotte area and panhandling at traffic lights and gas stations is obnoxious. Every light every gas stop. \n\nNow I'm conflicted because I feel like I wanna help em but some of these people have an Obama phone, wearing new kicks and don't look to bad. But still beg for money. \n\nNormally I completely ignore them even if they call out. Which makes me feel horrible.\n\n Is there a better way to deal with these interactions? ", "how to deal with panhandling I live in the Charlotte area and panhandling at traffic lights and gas stations is obnoxious. Every light every gas stop. \n\nNow I'm conflicted because I feel like I wanna help em but some of these people have an Obama phone, wearing new kicks and don't look to bad. But still beg for money. \n\nNormally I completely ignore them even if they call out. Which makes me feel horrible.\n\n Is there a better way to deal with these interactions? " ]

[ "Understand that if you gave everyone money who asked for it - unless you're independently wealthy - then you too will also go broke. I struggled for two years trying to live in Boulder, CO... Very expensive town with a lot of homeless and transients, but learned that lesson very quickly. You have to watch out for yourself first, then if you have enough to share, then share.", "It's pretty bad in NYC as well. \n\nI simply say \"No Thank You.\"\n\nIt's a bit of psychology and trickery. By pretending they just offered me something instead of asking me for something I make them and myself feel better about the exchange. Rarely does someone go past that. They usually just smile.", "If you want to help them then donate (money, food, clothes, toiletries) to a homeless shelter or similar resource; you'll be helping in a way that appeases your \"guilt,\" while also productively helping.\n\nAs for in person, \"sorry, I don't have any cash\" is a pretty safe answer- especially when it's true!", "What is an Obama phone?\n\nTo answer your question, it ok to help every now and then, but don't get too emotionally involved. If you feel guilty, volunteer at a homeless shelter where you know the effort goes to directly help feed them. Otherwise, you don't know what your money is being spent on. ", "Anger helps me. While I sympathize, this is a problem that can only be addressed in a top-down way. \n\nIf you're like most of us, you have to work for whatever money you have. You do things you'd rather not. You spend your time, energy, and maybe blood/sweat/tears. The money in your pocket is a physical transmutation of some of your work and everything work takes out of you. \n\nWhen a person wants it, expects it, even, for nothing... just for the asking, they're saying *You're worthless. Everything you did to get that is worthless. You should give it to me because it means so little to you, that you'll give it away simply when asked*. Well, my labor means a lot to me and I take offense when it is demeaned. ", "they say they make $400 a day,i give money on the street to people,but never at intersections,you could give them food,at intersection as they are there 12 hours a day" ]

[ 8, 8, 5, 3, 1, 0 ]

[ "How to comfort a friend/SO who's stressed out and saying \"It'll be okay, or I'm here\" to them doesn't help. ", "How to comfort a friend/SO who's stressed out and saying \"It'll be okay, or I'm here\" to them doesn't help. ", "How to comfort a friend/SO who's stressed out and saying \"It'll be okay, or I'm here\" to them doesn't help. ", "How to comfort a friend/SO who's stressed out and saying \"It'll be okay, or I'm here\" to them doesn't help. ", "How to comfort a friend/SO who's stressed out and saying \"It'll be okay, or I'm here\" to them doesn't help. " ]

[ "Do something that only you can do for only them.\n\nAnyone can say \"It'll be okay.\" or \"I'm here.\" to anyone, it's superficial and hollow.\n\nSaying \"I've noticed you're really stressed out lately.\" is much more likely to get across to them than \"How are you feeling?\" , because it means you've actually been paying attention and noticed they are stressed. Asking \"Can I mow your lawn?\" is better than \"Can I do anything for you?\"\n\nThough, reaching out to someone brings with an obligation. You need to meet that person half way. Don't feed them empty promises and meaningless pleasantries. \n\nSomething I have noticed is that almost nobody actually means the superficial pleasantries they say. It's just stuff people say because that is what they are expected to say. They might say to call any time, or that they're here for you, but then when you need someone to just sit with you so you can feel normal for a while they've got errands to run and need to get up early for work tomorrow.\n\n\nKeep in mind though that not everything is a secret cry for help, sometimes people tell you they're fine because they want to be fine, or that what they want is not something they can ask for. Say, maybe you feel isolated and what you want is for them to break up with their spouse to be with you. That's not the kind of thing it's reasonable for someone to say.", "Listen to what they have to say. Invest in their problem. Put yourself in their shoes. Don't be afraid to take a minute to process the information before you speak. Be genuine. Don't tell them what they want to hear. Tell them what they need to hear.", "When I was pregnant and we found out that something was wrong with the baby, I was unbelievably upset. My husband didn't know how to handle the situation and he just kept telling me that it was going to be okay. I realized that hearing that made me feel worse, because this problem wasn't going to go away, it was something we would have to deal with forever. I needed him to validate my feelings, tell me it's ok to be sad, tell me that he was sad too, agree with me that the situation sucked. I told him all of this, we talked for a long time, and then I felt much better, knowing that he was feeling all the same things.", "The most you can do is be receptive to their needs. Are they normally someone who responds well to human contact, or do they prefer to be alone? I would go from there.", "Empathize and let them know you're on their side. I think it helps the most when they feel they have an advocate, even if they're partially in the wrong. " ]

[ 5, 4, 3, 3, 1 ]

[ "How to clear up a sink clogged with hair without any special solution I've got a sink that's got something down there (probably hair), and so water is slow to drain.\n\nAnything else other than expensive solutions at the store? ", "How to clear up a sink clogged with hair without any special solution I've got a sink that's got something down there (probably hair), and so water is slow to drain.\n\nAnything else other than expensive solutions at the store? ", "How to clear up a sink clogged with hair without any special solution I've got a sink that's got something down there (probably hair), and so water is slow to drain.\n\nAnything else other than expensive solutions at the store? ", "How to clear up a sink clogged with hair without any special solution I've got a sink that's got something down there (probably hair), and so water is slow to drain.\n\nAnything else other than expensive solutions at the store? ", "How to clear up a sink clogged with hair without any special solution I've got a sink that's got something down there (probably hair), and so water is slow to drain.\n\nAnything else other than expensive solutions at the store? ", "How to clear up a sink clogged with hair without any special solution I've got a sink that's got something down there (probably hair), and so water is slow to drain.\n\nAnything else other than expensive solutions at the store? ", "How to clear up a sink clogged with hair without any special solution I've got a sink that's got something down there (probably hair), and so water is slow to drain.\n\nAnything else other than expensive solutions at the store? ", "How to clear up a sink clogged with hair without any special solution I've got a sink that's got something down there (probably hair), and so water is slow to drain.\n\nAnything else other than expensive solutions at the store? " ]

[ "Straighten out a wire clotheshanger, and bend a little hook at one end. Remove the sink stopper (usually pretty easy to do), and push the wire down the drain. Twist it, pull it back out, and you should have what appears to be a small rodent. Repeat as necessary.", "Five out of the five times that my wife has clogged our sinks I have had fast, complete success with the use of a plunger. Get the sink half full of water and give 10 hard jerks. It should come quickly. I wrote it that way on purpose.", "I've had success with lots of boiling water.. melts away mineral deposits that the hair gets stuck on.\n\nAlso, my dollar stores have knockoff Liquid Plumbr, though I haven't tried it.", "Baking soda and vinegar. Be sure to hold your hand or something over the drain so that the reaction moves down the drain, instead of up and into your sink.", "Try the tips [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/lzen3/lpt_request_what_house_hold_chemicals_can_clear_a/). And [here's](http://www.instructables.com/id/Unclog-your-sinks-drain-with-just-zip-ties/) an Instructables tutorial on making your own de-clogging tool using zip ties. And I'll add the suggestion of occasionally pouring some hydrogen peroxide down the drains in your bathroom just for maintenance.", "Just [take it apart and clean it](http://www.instructables.com/id/Unclog-bathroom-sink-without-chemicals/). It'll stay clear longer than using chemicals.", "Best thing I have found is to use the wire out of a hanging file folder. It has the notches at the end to grab hair and is thin/sturdy enough to slide easily down the drain.", "2 table spoons of bi carb soda 1 cup white vinegar wait 5 minutes and pour 3 cups of boiling hot water :-) " ]

[ 12, 11, 4, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "I need to read a book but have no motivation. Are there any good ways to get motivated. I have to read 200 pages of a biography by tomorrow, but I don't feel like doing it, even though I know I should. Are there any good ways to get motivated to read, any tips on how to make my reading go faster would be appreciated as well.", "I need to read a book but have no motivation. Are there any good ways to get motivated. I have to read 200 pages of a biography by tomorrow, but I don't feel like doing it, even though I know I should. Are there any good ways to get motivated to read, any tips on how to make my reading go faster would be appreciated as well.", "I need to read a book but have no motivation. Are there any good ways to get motivated. I have to read 200 pages of a biography by tomorrow, but I don't feel like doing it, even though I know I should. Are there any good ways to get motivated to read, any tips on how to make my reading go faster would be appreciated as well.", "I need to read a book but have no motivation. Are there any good ways to get motivated. I have to read 200 pages of a biography by tomorrow, but I don't feel like doing it, even though I know I should. Are there any good ways to get motivated to read, any tips on how to make my reading go faster would be appreciated as well.", "I need to read a book but have no motivation. Are there any good ways to get motivated. I have to read 200 pages of a biography by tomorrow, but I don't feel like doing it, even though I know I should. Are there any good ways to get motivated to read, any tips on how to make my reading go faster would be appreciated as well.", "I need to read a book but have no motivation. Are there any good ways to get motivated. I have to read 200 pages of a biography by tomorrow, but I don't feel like doing it, even though I know I should. Are there any good ways to get motivated to read, any tips on how to make my reading go faster would be appreciated as well.", "I need to read a book but have no motivation. Are there any good ways to get motivated. I have to read 200 pages of a biography by tomorrow, but I don't feel like doing it, even though I know I should. Are there any good ways to get motivated to read, any tips on how to make my reading go faster would be appreciated as well." ]

[ "Just asking this question is procrastinating, don't expect to feel motivated to do something you don't want to do, you never will. It's one of those things you just have to decide to do (or not) without being motivated. \n\nIf you decide not to read it that's fine, accept it, stop stressing and deal with the consequences tomorrow. If you decide you are going to read it then just read it, don't dick around on the internet pretending you are working up to it. \n\nEither choice is valid, but don't lie to yourself hovering between the two choices all night. It accomplishes nothing and makes you lose faith in yourself. Pick a choice and follow through.", "Maybe try the audiobook version and listen to it throughout the day, on your commute, at the gym, between classes, etc. ", "Tell yourself you only have to read 1-5 pages, something small, and then you can stop if you'd like. Chances are you'll be willing to continue and then it will be much easier. It's the starting that's the hardest.", "Spark Notes you're welcome. Just got a 97 on a 60 question quiz about a book I never picked up... I went to about 3 different websites to read different perspectives and key things on the book. I know almost everything about the book. In fact I had a discussion with the professor about the book. Just take 30 minutes of internet research.", "You can find value with almost anything in life. Let alone a book which should present immense offerings to take interests in. Make a concerted effort to find something to cling on as a driving force that would push you to read the book. To make it more pleasurable. For example if it's a time piece novel maybe just get intrigued by how people spoke and lived back then.\n\nAll those saying 'just force yourself' don't really get the crux of the problem. It's that the person finds it hard to even do that. Plus even if they do it initially there's always a high chance of relapse.", "There is no real shortcut to motivation sorry. The internet can't be helping, even asking the question is avoiding the issue. \n\nIf it is a biography, maybe read the wikipedia article of that person first to get a decent background, you can then maybe skim parts or get a better understanding when you read the book proper. I would remove distractions, personally I would take my book to the nearest pub (or cafe) and sit down with a drink until I have read it all. ", "How to do:\n\nCornell Notes,\nMusic,\nAlcohol or coffee,\nPomedoro Timer,\nPorno.\n\nIn graduate history classes. You want all of these for your cute book reading. You know what to do.\n" ]

[ 18, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "What do you do with boxes of items you're not sure you'll need to return or not? I tend to hang on to all of my boxes of everything, but most of the time I end up keeping the item. Still, it makes me uneasy getting rid of boxes... just in case. I also can't stand hanging onto stuff that has no function. Obviously the bigger boxes serve no function and just take up space.\n\nWhat can I do?", "What do you do with boxes of items you're not sure you'll need to return or not? I tend to hang on to all of my boxes of everything, but most of the time I end up keeping the item. Still, it makes me uneasy getting rid of boxes... just in case. I also can't stand hanging onto stuff that has no function. Obviously the bigger boxes serve no function and just take up space.\n\nWhat can I do?", "What do you do with boxes of items you're not sure you'll need to return or not? I tend to hang on to all of my boxes of everything, but most of the time I end up keeping the item. Still, it makes me uneasy getting rid of boxes... just in case. I also can't stand hanging onto stuff that has no function. Obviously the bigger boxes serve no function and just take up space.\n\nWhat can I do?", "What do you do with boxes of items you're not sure you'll need to return or not? I tend to hang on to all of my boxes of everything, but most of the time I end up keeping the item. Still, it makes me uneasy getting rid of boxes... just in case. I also can't stand hanging onto stuff that has no function. Obviously the bigger boxes serve no function and just take up space.\n\nWhat can I do?" ]

[ "Put the smaller boxes in the bigger boxes (collapsed, of course). You keep your boxes, and give the bigger boxes purpose in life so they won't have an existential crisis.\n\nOr failing that, they make for excellent kindling in a fireplace or burn pit.", "Smaller boxes in bigger boxes, or break them down so they're flat and just stack them all on one shelf. ", "My reasoning for saving boxes and packaging is for re-sale.\n\nDo a search on Ebay or Amazon, and compare the prices of second hand items that come in original packaging as opposed to the identical items being sold out of their package.\n\nYou will find the prices of the items in original packaging are considerably higher than those without.", "I do the same thing and have boxes stashed in various places around the house. As another person mentioned it really helps if you resell stuff on eBay especially if you get bored with gadgets and electronics." ]

[ 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How can I get the bubbles out of my iPhone screen protector? Recently purchased a screen protector for my iPhone, and made sure I cleaned the screen thoroughly before carefully applying the screen protector, yet there are still lots of small bubbles under the surface. What can I do to get rid of them?", "How can I get the bubbles out of my iPhone screen protector? Recently purchased a screen protector for my iPhone, and made sure I cleaned the screen thoroughly before carefully applying the screen protector, yet there are still lots of small bubbles under the surface. What can I do to get rid of them?", "How can I get the bubbles out of my iPhone screen protector? Recently purchased a screen protector for my iPhone, and made sure I cleaned the screen thoroughly before carefully applying the screen protector, yet there are still lots of small bubbles under the surface. What can I do to get rid of them?", "How can I get the bubbles out of my iPhone screen protector? Recently purchased a screen protector for my iPhone, and made sure I cleaned the screen thoroughly before carefully applying the screen protector, yet there are still lots of small bubbles under the surface. What can I do to get rid of them?", "How can I get the bubbles out of my iPhone screen protector? Recently purchased a screen protector for my iPhone, and made sure I cleaned the screen thoroughly before carefully applying the screen protector, yet there are still lots of small bubbles under the surface. What can I do to get rid of them?" ]

[ "I was told to put a piece of clear tape on either side of the screen protector before applying it to the phone so that you can hold it by the tape and line it up super evenly. I haven't tried it yet, but the dude at the Verizon store made it look easy.", "This my my domain. Okay so normally clean the screen try to be in the most dust free are , me I do my desk with no fan or window open so dust does not move about... At least not as much. Place the screen guard on and allow it to set let all the bubbles go, if you see any left take the screen guard off and cover it with tape, use a small piece of tape to clean the iPhone screen too but don't cover the iPhone with tape because it will leave residue, after cleaning the iPhone peel the tape off the screen guard and you should have a perfect screen! Works every time for me however sometimes it needs to try again because of the dust in my house. So dust free room, tape, iPhone.", "I'm super OCD about making this perfect. Once you line it up an get it in place correctly, you won't want to completely remove it again. You should be able to see if there is lint or dirt causing the bubble. Use a piece of regular tape to lift up the closest corner, and use another piece of tape to grab the lint (it may stick to the screen or the protector). If no lint or dirt, usually lifting the corner with tape and letting the air release is enough", "Get the screen as clean and lint-free as possible before putting the protector on, and don't touch the sticky side of the protector. Once you get dirt or whatever under the protector, you're going to have a bubble there no matter how much you smooth it out.", "2 days late, but here's what I did:\n\n1. Put the screen protector on straight, without worrying about dust and bubbles.\n\n2. Take some Scotch or similar tape, and make two sheets out of overlapping parallel strips, each slightly wider and about two inches longer than the screen.\n\n3. Fold each sheet in half, so the short sides of each meet, with the sticky sides out. Then push the fold inside itself about 3/4\" and stick it together. You should have a sheet of tape that looks like a lowercase m, with very long side verticals and a very short center vertical, sticky side out.\n\n4. Lift up one end of the screen protector—tape might help—and peel it slightly more than halfway off.\n\n5. Insert one folded sheet, with the sticky side out and the stuck-together bit (the pull-out handle) as close as possible to the line where the screen and screen protector meet. Stick it smoothly to both the screen and screen protector.\n\n6. Pull it out by the handle, while pressing the screen protector down with a card as the tape peels off.\n\n7. Repeat steps 4 through 6 with the other sheet of tape and the other half of the screen." ]

[ 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Removing Rust I recently bought an old bike minor rust on it. What is the best way to remove said rust? Also a couple of the bolts are really rusted... is there a method for that?", "Removing Rust I recently bought an old bike minor rust on it. What is the best way to remove said rust? Also a couple of the bolts are really rusted... is there a method for that?", "Removing Rust I recently bought an old bike minor rust on it. What is the best way to remove said rust? Also a couple of the bolts are really rusted... is there a method for that?" ]

[ "I have only done this once using a mess kit, so I don't know if it works in all cases, but here goes. Take a large peice of aluminum foil and crumple it into a ball. Get the aluminum foil wet, then vigorously rub the rust. If it is a thin layer of rust it should come off.", "you can use a sponge soaked in vinegar. it'll get that shit right off with a little bit of scrubbing\n\nSource: cleaning dissection tools at my school ", "Not household stuff but you can buy rust converter from hardware stores. Its kinda looks like paint stripper and it converts the rust into something you can sand and prime." ]

[ 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "Quitting my job. I posted this in r/advice too, but I figured I'd get more help from this larger community. I'm 19 years old and I work two jobs. My boss at job #2 is a complete and utter prick. I want to quit without a two weeks notice because I don't need/want that stress and negativity in my life, and I know stress and negativity are unavoidable in life, but removing this particular form of it from my life would be a great release. Since I have a second job I can afford to quit, and pick up a new job some point later (I only need minimum wage.) Along with that, they (and my primary job) have me scheduled for the Fourth of July (which is also the birthday of one of my youngest family members). If I actually didn't mind the job, I'd have no issue working that day, but since I absolutely loathe it, I'd rather not miss out on my baby nieces birthday. Any tips for this? Could it hurt my chances of getting future employment?\n\ntl;dr: I'm 19, I want to quit one of my two minimum wage jobs without a two-week notice. Will that hurt me in the future?", "Quitting my job. I posted this in r/advice too, but I figured I'd get more help from this larger community. I'm 19 years old and I work two jobs. My boss at job #2 is a complete and utter prick. I want to quit without a two weeks notice because I don't need/want that stress and negativity in my life, and I know stress and negativity are unavoidable in life, but removing this particular form of it from my life would be a great release. Since I have a second job I can afford to quit, and pick up a new job some point later (I only need minimum wage.) Along with that, they (and my primary job) have me scheduled for the Fourth of July (which is also the birthday of one of my youngest family members). If I actually didn't mind the job, I'd have no issue working that day, but since I absolutely loathe it, I'd rather not miss out on my baby nieces birthday. Any tips for this? Could it hurt my chances of getting future employment?\n\ntl;dr: I'm 19, I want to quit one of my two minimum wage jobs without a two-week notice. Will that hurt me in the future?", "Quitting my job. I posted this in r/advice too, but I figured I'd get more help from this larger community. I'm 19 years old and I work two jobs. My boss at job #2 is a complete and utter prick. I want to quit without a two weeks notice because I don't need/want that stress and negativity in my life, and I know stress and negativity are unavoidable in life, but removing this particular form of it from my life would be a great release. Since I have a second job I can afford to quit, and pick up a new job some point later (I only need minimum wage.) Along with that, they (and my primary job) have me scheduled for the Fourth of July (which is also the birthday of one of my youngest family members). If I actually didn't mind the job, I'd have no issue working that day, but since I absolutely loathe it, I'd rather not miss out on my baby nieces birthday. Any tips for this? Could it hurt my chances of getting future employment?\n\ntl;dr: I'm 19, I want to quit one of my two minimum wage jobs without a two-week notice. Will that hurt me in the future?", "Quitting my job. I posted this in r/advice too, but I figured I'd get more help from this larger community. I'm 19 years old and I work two jobs. My boss at job #2 is a complete and utter prick. I want to quit without a two weeks notice because I don't need/want that stress and negativity in my life, and I know stress and negativity are unavoidable in life, but removing this particular form of it from my life would be a great release. Since I have a second job I can afford to quit, and pick up a new job some point later (I only need minimum wage.) Along with that, they (and my primary job) have me scheduled for the Fourth of July (which is also the birthday of one of my youngest family members). If I actually didn't mind the job, I'd have no issue working that day, but since I absolutely loathe it, I'd rather not miss out on my baby nieces birthday. Any tips for this? Could it hurt my chances of getting future employment?\n\ntl;dr: I'm 19, I want to quit one of my two minimum wage jobs without a two-week notice. Will that hurt me in the future?" ]

[ "If your resume will still show uninterrupted employment without this job, then I don't think there's any reason to mention this one. Quit today?", "Don't put it on your resume nor work history on applications. If he's truly a prick, you owe him nothing. ", "Agree with what others said, if you need to quit quick, do it without two weeks notice but if, for instance, you know that tomorrow is your last shift, consider telling the boss now. That reduces the karma fallout (no I don't believe in literal karma but it's never good to make things harder on others when you don't have to, even if they are jerks).\n\nHere's how, just call and say \"A serious life issue has come up suddenly and I'm not going to be able to work any longer at XYZ after my shift tomorrow. I'm really sorry for the short notice but it can't be avoided and I'm giving you all the notice I can. The nature of the issue that's come up is personal and private.\"\n\nThis has the benefit of getting you out asap, being at least karma neutral and not telling a lie. The \"serious life issue\" is obviously that you hate the job and the manager but you're not disclosing the reason. It's important that you don't expand on the reason or lie, just keep repeating that it's a serious personal matter that you have no choice but to deal with immediately. The manager can imagine whatever he wants and will generally not pry beyond asking once. If this person ever is asked about you, it sounds better than just no showing one day or rage quitting at the end of a shift.", "Do you plan to use them as references? If not there's not a huge risk in quitting with short/no notice. It is, however, a dick move to your coworkers." ]

[ 3, 3, 2, 1 ]

[ "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?", "How to stay awake I am just finishing week 3 of my Radiography program and I am having a hard time staying awake. Class is from 8am to 4pm Monday through Friday and I have 2 years left.\n\nOn top of that, I work from 5pm until midnight four to six days a week. I've worked at the same place for five years now and I'm a manager so I have to be there until midnight Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.\n\nI sleep as soon as I get home. I bring coffee and soda and water to class. That helps a little. Chewing gum seems to help a bit too, and occasionally I will stand up to stretch (I sit in the back so this isn't disruptive).\n\nDespite all these things, there are still times when I can not stay awake for the life of me. My head will fall back and I almost just lose it right there in the middle of a discussion. \n\nI live on my own so I can't cut back any further than working 4 days a week because then I couldn't afford my already cheap apartment.\n\nDoes anyone have any advice for me?" ]

[ "Ditch the sodas. They'll give you about 20 minutes of energy and then you'll come crashing down. That's what sugar does. Drink water for energy. Coffee no more than twice a day -- One in the morning, one for the 2pm blahs. \n\nWatch your diet. Try to eat on the healthy side. Proteins and veggies will aid in keeping your energy levels up. Also, if you get to the head bobbing phase, eat an apple. \n\nOnly stare at screens when you must. Eye strain will leave you tired. \n\nWhenever there's a break, go outside. Sunshine is a vitamin. It'll boost your energy.", "As an ex-intellectually smart person, the basic advice people here are offering are excellent, and it's worth talking to your Dr about. \n\nDo you feel 'refreshed' when you wake up from having slept?\n\nAre you in the states / elsewhere for school, are loans a realistic option to reduce your workload? (radiography isn't exactly a low paying job once you're out of school)", "Honestly; you're going to have to cut down on work...eventually. In the meantime, you need to learn the trick of the power nap. \n\nStep one: \n\nDitch the decaffeinated beverages. Use them only as a last resort. You need to get your caffeine tolerance down to a minimum so that caffeine is like your EPI pen when sleep is that bee sting that'll kill you.\n\nStep two: \n\nGet a white noise app for your cell phone. (assuming you have one)\n\nStep three: \n\nLearn the art of a power nap. It will save you. What's a power nap? Ok; you know how you have a nap, and you wake up and you don't feel like you got any rest? It's because you slept too long. I know it's counter-intuitive, but that's what it is. You need to stop that nap from being longer than 20min. Your amount will be different, but 20min is pretty average. More than 20min and you'll feel just as drowsy. Less than 15min will just be a waste of time.\n\nSo when do you power nap? Whenever you can, where ever you can. If you're at work, and you've got one of those mandatory breaks you have to take, head to your car and have a power nap. If you've got space between two classes and you've got an extra few min, powernap.\n\nNow...the white noise app is important to help your nap be efficient. Even if you're super tired, if you have audible distractions your brain will continue to wake you up to listen to them. So plug the earphones in, set your timer to 20min and run the app. You'll sleep. Wake up refreshed. and off you go onto the next task.\n\n\n\n", "Take notes. Write down everything in the lecture and weed out the useful stuff later. I used a laptop when I was in my program and this was my saving grace. You think it's bad now wait till clinicals that are an hour and change away that you have to be there at 6 for. I worked 3 jobs, had 2 kids and still completed my program with all 1650 clinical hours. You can do it and it only sucks for a little while. Also take as many exam prep tests as possible starting now. I found a lot of the questions are just recycled through the years and I wish I started the prep tests earlier. Don't get caught up in a low score, it's worth it just to see the questions. ", "Or eat an apple or a pickle when feeling tired. The Apple has chemicals that alert your body, and the pickles... Well, who doesn't love pickles.", "Is standing up an option? When I had boring night classes, I'd bring strong minty gum or candy. Chugging some cold water works too. ", "I have a tremendously hard time staying awake in meetings. They're just so BORING. My tricks for staying awake are unlike any mentioned so far:\n1. By twisting your foot and pointing your toes just right you can often induce a calf cramp. The agonizing pain will keep you alert. This is my #1 trick.\n2. Surreptitiously yank out body hairs. Also good for some pain.\n3. Under the desk/table, extend one leg all the way out. Eventually your quad muscles will tire and start to hurt.\n4. Try to find something to panic over. A good shot of internally-generated adrenaline can keep you awake for ten minutes or more.\n5. If you can get a few moments alone, a few hard slaps to the face work wonders. DO NOT GET CAUGHT DOING THIS. No one ever understands.\n\nI'm not kidding about any of this. ", "A 20 minute nap will help you. Mythbusters did an episode on this on sleep deprivation and how it affects the mind and body. And how a 20 minute nap can help.", "Sugar is good for energy but not when it's processed. Stay away from the soda. Eat some fruit for breakfast. Good nutrients and hydration. Always keep a water bottle on hand and stay hydrated. Cut down on coffee if you drink quite a bit. I also take magnesium before bed. It's to help me sleep but it also helps you relax while you sleep. At least I have heard.", "Protein bars work wonders for me and would be worth a shot. I prefer builder bars. Also, make sure you have a nice dark quiet room. You don't want anything standing between you and uninterrupted sleep.", "Military here. I spend 8 hours of shift work staring at a computer screen. \n\n\nDrink water. I drink a lot. I also drink a lot of coffee but I'll have a water bottle next to me for the whole 8 hours. I doodle or write on scratch paper a lot and that keeps my mind running.\n\n\nI've also been staring at computers for almost 6 years so I got used to it.", "Might want to see a doctor. Nuvigil (generic being modafinil) has been used to treat shift-work disorder. \n\nI don't know if it's covered by insurance or not, but people have used it before and it supposedly works very well.", "It will take a bit of investment, but committing to regular exercise 3 days per week will actually boost your energy levels significantly. I know you have a busy schedule, but could you fit in 20-30 minutes 3x per week? Go on a run, lift weights, yoga, rock climbing, martial arts, whatever fits your interests and schedule.", "I used to be in the same (almost) predicament. First off, cut out the caffeine and sodas, and drink lots of water. In class, I'd be so hydrated that every 3 hours I was heading to the bathroom. Hard to be sleepy with a full bladder. Another thing that may help bust through periods of sleepiness- hold your breath as long as you can, then exhale. I've tried the standing up thing regularly. \n\nI think the most important thing is to do everything you can to ensure you're getting the absolute best nights sleep possible, but I suffer from insomnia so I'm no help there. ", "Do simple exercises on breaks. Do some push-ups, jumping jacks, etc. It's amazing how some extra movement can help keep you more alert. ", "That's an insane schedule. I've been there.\n\n**Take naps**\n\nDon't use your lunch break to eat lunch. Try to eat snacks during the day (smaller meals is better for energy levels anyway). Use your lunch break to take a solid nap in a break room or a car. A 15-30 minute nap will make a world of difference and make you energized even if you only have 6 hours of sleep the night before.\n\n**Change your living situation**\n\nCan you cut down on your work hours if you live at a cheaper place? It sounds like you're never home. So why do you care where you live? Move as close to work/school as possible, and find the shittiest apartment you can live in. You're not home anyways. You just need a place to hang your underwear. Consider getting a roommate. \n\n**Take modafinil**\n\nModafinil is a miracle drug they developed for people with sleep apnea. Try taking 100 mg on days when you're especially tired. Check out /r/afinil for more info. This is just a short term solution though, just to tie you over on especially rough days when you MUST be awake and coffee is no longer working. Don't become reliant on this. Even though its not habit forming, it does diminish in effectiveness if you use it every day.\n\n**Exercise**\n\nI know your schedule is crazy, but just doing a 30 minute cardio workout can make a big difference in your energy level. \n\n**Have excellent diet**\n\nIt is easy to eat shitty when you're tired and busy. Resist the temptation to do so. Limit yourself to salads, lean meats, beans, and nuts. Stay away from carbs, refined sugar, and too much meat.\n\n", "I stab my arm with a pen (not opened or clicked. But sharp enough to hurt). It helps but can leave some ugly marks for a few hours. Whatever it takes to not snore in front of a room full of execs. ", "Have you tried coffee naps? http://www.vox.com/2014/8/28/6074177/coffee-naps-caffeine-science\nWhat I do when I feel myself passing out is take a deep breath and hold it; once you let the air out, the blood will rush and become oxygenated, giving you a \"second wind\" of sorts.\n(Sorry for formatting, posting on mobile)", "Did you have this problem before working so much? If so I recommend you look into ADHD-PI... Especially if you are female.\n\n" ]

[ 97, 9, 7, 6, 4, 4, 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to comfortably use your laptop while laying in bed If you lay sideways then you cant look at your screen right, and its a strain on your neck to put it in front of you.. know any tricks?", "How to comfortably use your laptop while laying in bed If you lay sideways then you cant look at your screen right, and its a strain on your neck to put it in front of you.. know any tricks?", "How to comfortably use your laptop while laying in bed If you lay sideways then you cant look at your screen right, and its a strain on your neck to put it in front of you.. know any tricks?", "How to comfortably use your laptop while laying in bed If you lay sideways then you cant look at your screen right, and its a strain on your neck to put it in front of you.. know any tricks?" ]

[ "a 3 ring binder creates a perfect incline. bigger rings = greater angle facing you.\n\n", "I took a shelf off of my book shelf and put my laptop on that, get under the blankets and all that goodstuff, then put the shelf on my lap. Prop yourself up with pillows and BAM, I am comfy", "Fold a pillow in half and stand it up, open side down. Then rest laptop on whichever side will be comfortable for you.", "> its a strain on your neck to put it in front of you.. \n\nI strained my neck to read that (though I mostly blame the lack of glasses)" ]

[ 5, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "Clearing an ear wax jam. I just pushed the ear wax too far in while trying to clean my ear. What's the quickest way to hear again?", "Clearing an ear wax jam. I just pushed the ear wax too far in while trying to clean my ear. What's the quickest way to hear again?", "Clearing an ear wax jam. I just pushed the ear wax too far in while trying to clean my ear. What's the quickest way to hear again?", "Clearing an ear wax jam. I just pushed the ear wax too far in while trying to clean my ear. What's the quickest way to hear again?", "Clearing an ear wax jam. I just pushed the ear wax too far in while trying to clean my ear. What's the quickest way to hear again?", "Clearing an ear wax jam. I just pushed the ear wax too far in while trying to clean my ear. What's the quickest way to hear again?", "Clearing an ear wax jam. I just pushed the ear wax too far in while trying to clean my ear. What's the quickest way to hear again?" ]

[ "If warm (NOT HOT) water doesn't do jack, use hydrogen peroxide. It'll fizz and get warm, when it stops fizzing, gently rinse it out with warm water. I've gotten some nasty, nasty giant clogs out that way (we're talking pea-sized or bigger chunks of wax). If it starts to hurt, rinse IMMEDIATELY and do not attempt again. If you have broken skin, an infection, sensitive skin, ect, do not do this yourself, see a doctor.\n\nOnce you're done cleaning out your ears (if it's really bad, I do two hydrogen peroxide treatments), after the final flush, go ahead and do one final rinse with rubbing alcohol. This will displace and get most of the water out, and then evaporate quickly, getting rid of that icky water-in-the-ear feeling.\n\nNever, ever use q-tips. The general rule for sticking things in your ear is \"don't stick anything in your ear smaller than your elbow\" -- which is to say, don't stick things in your ear. Only let professionals who know what they're doing stick things in your ear.\n\nOne last thing: do not clean the ear wax out of your ears unless it's bothering you. If it's not bothering you, there's absolutely no reason to disturb what's in your ears. There is no purpose in regularly cleaning out the earwax, and it can actually cause problems because that wax is there for a reason.", "http://www.foodservicewarehouse.com/tablecraft/108k/p1573682.aspx?utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=Tablecraft-108K&utm_campaign=Squeeze-Bottles&utm_source=googlepla&source=googleps&gclid=CPvxzY7tjMMCFdgagQodkikAEQ\nBuy one of these. Fill out with warm water and GENTLY squirt it into your ear. Most of the wax should come out.", "You should be able to buy specific ear wax drops from your pharmacy. \n\nI've used Otex in the past, works a treat. Takes a couple of goes but if you have a build up you may need to get it cleared out at the doctors.", "While in the shower, let warm water fill your ear canal. Let it sit for a bit, tip your head and empty, repeat. If this doesn't clear the first few times, you can try the OTC ear wax removal or hydrogen peroxide (though h2o2 irritates my ears). I get clogged ears every year or so, I naturally produce a lot of ear wax, and the shower melt works the best, though it usually takes a few days, up to a week. ", "There is an over the counter product called debrox that I have used before which softens ear wax. Apparently a good potion of it is peroxide. http://www.debrox.com/ It is available everywhere and is safe. ", "Roll newspaper into a cone insert into ear and light it on fire the gentle sucking of the fire consuming air will draw the wax out. Most healthy grocery stores have wax coated paper cones for this.", "My doctor told me to put olive oil in the ear. A few drops twice per day. That should be enough to get the wax out on its own. But if not, one of those ear bulbs will. Personally, I'll go to nurse treatment for this." ]

[ 5, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 0 ]

[ "How to carry books in my backpack without destroying them? I read on my commute, so I'm always bringing a given book in my backpack. However, after a few days of carrying my book around, it'll be in significantly worse condition then when I got it. The spine folds and the corners get folded/torn/rubbed down.\n\nI've tried putting the books in plastic bags, using a messenger bag, putting the book in a small pocket... nothing works. Help!", "How to carry books in my backpack without destroying them? I read on my commute, so I'm always bringing a given book in my backpack. However, after a few days of carrying my book around, it'll be in significantly worse condition then when I got it. The spine folds and the corners get folded/torn/rubbed down.\n\nI've tried putting the books in plastic bags, using a messenger bag, putting the book in a small pocket... nothing works. Help!", "How to carry books in my backpack without destroying them? I read on my commute, so I'm always bringing a given book in my backpack. However, after a few days of carrying my book around, it'll be in significantly worse condition then when I got it. The spine folds and the corners get folded/torn/rubbed down.\n\nI've tried putting the books in plastic bags, using a messenger bag, putting the book in a small pocket... nothing works. Help!", "How to carry books in my backpack without destroying them? I read on my commute, so I'm always bringing a given book in my backpack. However, after a few days of carrying my book around, it'll be in significantly worse condition then when I got it. The spine folds and the corners get folded/torn/rubbed down.\n\nI've tried putting the books in plastic bags, using a messenger bag, putting the book in a small pocket... nothing works. Help!", "How to carry books in my backpack without destroying them? I read on my commute, so I'm always bringing a given book in my backpack. However, after a few days of carrying my book around, it'll be in significantly worse condition then when I got it. The spine folds and the corners get folded/torn/rubbed down.\n\nI've tried putting the books in plastic bags, using a messenger bag, putting the book in a small pocket... nothing works. Help!" ]

[ "This might sound odd, but maybe try and find a similarly shaped plastic food storage container? Like a lunch box? I know all books are different sizes, but I know I have a big draw full of random plastic boxes in my kitchen...", "Try to get hard covers if you can but you probably already thought of that. Otherwise, out the spine of the book against the bottom of the backpack, between two sturdy items, like textbooks or binders. When you put it down, always make sure to lay the backpack on the strap part, not the bottom, so that the book will get more sandwiched and not get bent. If you out the backpack down on its bottom then the pages can spread and fold up", "Put them in a ziplock bag in your backpack, gallon and even two gallon sizes. The plastic slides against the hardcovers and softcovers.", "I know I'm a bit late here, but it's only been a day. While I now use e-books a fair amount, I do prefer actual books and many in my collection are out of print, never available as an e-book. The simplest method I've found is to use a Ziplock freezer bag (the thick ones). For a standard paperback, quart sized ones work well, gallon sizes for larger books. The key is to get as much air out of the bag as you can and zip it up.\n\nI've never found anything quite as inexpensive as this for the purpose. I use baggies like this when packing for any trip, also. It saved several things from damage when one bag was thoroughly soaked somehow while in transit (baggage handlers in the airport left it outside or something; never found out). It also keeps books in good shape and takes up almost no extra space when you remove the book from it.", "I use this:\n\n[](http://www.interplas.com/product_images/1000/7.25-x-12-Bubble-Wrap-Heat-Seal-Mailer-Envelope.jpg)" ]

[ 5, 1, 1, 1, 0 ]

[ "How to quit a job after the first week? Bonus: and how to keep it from being awkward so I can remain a patron?\n\nGot a job at a gym but I want to quit because it is on call but I dont have many guaranteed hours and I got a more permanent job. But I still want to use the gym after!", "How to quit a job after the first week? Bonus: and how to keep it from being awkward so I can remain a patron?\n\nGot a job at a gym but I want to quit because it is on call but I dont have many guaranteed hours and I got a more permanent job. But I still want to use the gym after!" ]

[ "\"Thank you very much for the opportunity, but I am not able to support myself with the flexible hours and I have a more permanent position elsewhere. I will absolutely work out my two weeks notice, but since I'm still in training I understand if that doesn't work for you. I love this gym and I hope to continue to be a member.\"", "Why make this difficult? Just go up to the boss, tell him, I've changed my mind dude i am going to quit the job to pursue greater job etc. Its pretty simple honestly, its just you having lack of confidence. If he wants you out of the gym he'll tell you, if he doenst, it'll be allright" ]

[ 21, 1 ]

[ "How frequently should I use coconut oil, baking soda, and/or hydrogen peroxide to whiten my teeth? So after searching around this subreddit, I've narrowed my choices down to these 3 products.\n\n\nMy plan was to mix all 3 together, swish the concoction around for a few minutes, and then brush my teeth. Maybe do this every other day.\n\n\nHowever, I'm wondering... should I use a product more frequently than the other? For example: oil pulling daily, but hydrogen peroxide only once a week. \n\n\nHow can I maximize the effectiveness of these products while keeping my enamels safe?\n\n\nThanks! :3", "How frequently should I use coconut oil, baking soda, and/or hydrogen peroxide to whiten my teeth? So after searching around this subreddit, I've narrowed my choices down to these 3 products.\n\n\nMy plan was to mix all 3 together, swish the concoction around for a few minutes, and then brush my teeth. Maybe do this every other day.\n\n\nHowever, I'm wondering... should I use a product more frequently than the other? For example: oil pulling daily, but hydrogen peroxide only once a week. \n\n\nHow can I maximize the effectiveness of these products while keeping my enamels safe?\n\n\nThanks! :3", "How frequently should I use coconut oil, baking soda, and/or hydrogen peroxide to whiten my teeth? So after searching around this subreddit, I've narrowed my choices down to these 3 products.\n\n\nMy plan was to mix all 3 together, swish the concoction around for a few minutes, and then brush my teeth. Maybe do this every other day.\n\n\nHowever, I'm wondering... should I use a product more frequently than the other? For example: oil pulling daily, but hydrogen peroxide only once a week. \n\n\nHow can I maximize the effectiveness of these products while keeping my enamels safe?\n\n\nThanks! :3", "How frequently should I use coconut oil, baking soda, and/or hydrogen peroxide to whiten my teeth? So after searching around this subreddit, I've narrowed my choices down to these 3 products.\n\n\nMy plan was to mix all 3 together, swish the concoction around for a few minutes, and then brush my teeth. Maybe do this every other day.\n\n\nHowever, I'm wondering... should I use a product more frequently than the other? For example: oil pulling daily, but hydrogen peroxide only once a week. \n\n\nHow can I maximize the effectiveness of these products while keeping my enamels safe?\n\n\nThanks! :3" ]

[ "Coconut oil: Never. No evidence it works.\rSodium bicarbonate: Never. It removes enamel. Which may look like it whitened your teeth...but its not..its actually destroyed them\rHydrogen peroxide: Can work, in the wrong concentration will damage your soft tissue. \r\rSwitch to:\r-reduced intake of foods which stain enamel\r-use fluoride containing toothpaste, I'd recommend alternating use between using a whitening toothpaste and a toothpaste for sensitive teeth.\r-Go to your dentist or hygienist for a scale and polish\r\r\rThings like natural toothpaste do not clean plaque effectively.\rFluoride is essential to reminerlize enamel. \rOil pulling is stupid, you damage your periodontal tissue.\r\rJust watch your diet. Brush and floss twice daily. Drink water after every meal. Use chlorhexadine containing mouth wash.\r\r\r", "Have been brushing my teeth with a sip of hydrogen peroxide for over two years. I have noticed my teeth are much whiter. But the real kicker I haven't had a tooth ache or swollen gums and my teeth are seldom sensitive. Highly recommend.", "i buy whitening strips to use for 14 days, every 6-12 months. i've found the $50ish is better spent on something that actually works and doesn't damage my enamel and make my teeth hurt instead of the cheap \"home remedies\" you mentioned. ", "Personally I have been brushing my teeth with coco oil daily for about 7 months. I oil pull once a week, and use sodium bicarbonate only when I need abrasion(if you ate meat or something). I would only use hydrogen peroxide as a mouthwash, and try not to combine both sodium b and hydro p together as they can irritate your gums. Also hydrogen peroxide shouldn't be used daily, when I did I noticed my gums were on FIRE for a couple days." ]

[ 27, 11, 5, 3 ]

[ "How to handle moving with large, bulky items Anyone have tips on what to do with large, bulky items (large outdoor animal cages, kids outdoor play equipment, potted trees, etc.) when moving? Sorry if this is a dumb question, but I haven't made many moves in my life and it's daunting to imagine transferring every possession to a new location hundreds of miles away.", "How to handle moving with large, bulky items Anyone have tips on what to do with large, bulky items (large outdoor animal cages, kids outdoor play equipment, potted trees, etc.) when moving? Sorry if this is a dumb question, but I haven't made many moves in my life and it's daunting to imagine transferring every possession to a new location hundreds of miles away.", "How to handle moving with large, bulky items Anyone have tips on what to do with large, bulky items (large outdoor animal cages, kids outdoor play equipment, potted trees, etc.) when moving? Sorry if this is a dumb question, but I haven't made many moves in my life and it's daunting to imagine transferring every possession to a new location hundreds of miles away.", "How to handle moving with large, bulky items Anyone have tips on what to do with large, bulky items (large outdoor animal cages, kids outdoor play equipment, potted trees, etc.) when moving? Sorry if this is a dumb question, but I haven't made many moves in my life and it's daunting to imagine transferring every possession to a new location hundreds of miles away." ]

[ "Generally I recommend considering the financial impact of moving such a thing vs leaving it for the next people (assuming this is an option… not always the case with rentals and such) and buying a new one in your new location. Also consider the headache of dealing with it, chances of the item(s) being damaged in a move, etc when making a decision.\n\nFor example if it’s $1,000 for a new thing, and it would cost $900 to move the thing, it could be worth the extra $100 to simply not deal with the move. Again, this assumes that you have the option to leave it behind. If that’s not the case then of course this advice wouldn’t apply.", "Definitely think about how much the item costs and if it's even worth it to move.\n\nAlso, is it cheaper to just hire a moving company?\nLast time I moved me and my girlfriend I had to take 3 days off of work, rent 4 days of a truck, pay 3 friends for food and helping not to mention all the gas for the truck.\n\nI think all said and done if I went to work and hired a mover It would have been about $200 cheaper.\n\nAnd I wouldn't have had to contemplate driving into oncoming traffic daily because I absolutely loath moving.\n\nAtleast look into it. Can save a ton of headache maybe even cash", "I'm moving across the country, and it is daunting! Find out more about using a moving company, depending on how much of the packing and prep you are willing to do yourself, it will likely cost MUCH less than the estimate you got from MollyElise in her comment. \n\nIt costs nothing to have a mover do a walkthru. Ask a LOT Of questions, find out ALL the options. And be prepared to leave behind, sell, give away, or move in your own vehicles: food, plants, chemicals, paints, solvents, cleaners, guns and ammo. We are using Atlas, they have been great so far.\n\nHere's a good place to start... \n**https://www.movingapt.com/how-much-does-it-cost-to-move-500-miles/#:\\~:text=Pricing%20Estimates%20for%20Moving%20Long%20Distance&text=Though%20it's%20much%20better%20to,Up%20to%20500%20miles%3A%20%242%2C900**", "For furniture, check whether the item in question is put together with cams. It’s super easy to disassemble and reassemble them as you only need to use a screwdriver to turn them to lock and unlock them. That’s how my dad and I got a fully assembled computer desk to my apartment in a compact car." ]

[ 7, 4, 2, 1 ]

[ "How to keep from interrupting people Inspired by a recent post on here, but also by my own shortcomings. I'm an incredibly extroverted and extremely ADHD person. Occasionally, when I'm in a conversation, my mind will race ahead and think of some fantastically relevant story and before I even realize it, I interject into the conversation and interrupt whoever is speaking.\n\nI hate being rude, I hate rudeness in general, and I absolutely hate myself the second I realize what I've done.. But at that point, it's too late. Since I've recognized this as a problem and tried to stop interrupting others mid-story, I've definitely improved, but it's just SO rude that I want any advice or tips on how to stop more completely. Thanks in advance!", "How to keep from interrupting people Inspired by a recent post on here, but also by my own shortcomings. I'm an incredibly extroverted and extremely ADHD person. Occasionally, when I'm in a conversation, my mind will race ahead and think of some fantastically relevant story and before I even realize it, I interject into the conversation and interrupt whoever is speaking.\n\nI hate being rude, I hate rudeness in general, and I absolutely hate myself the second I realize what I've done.. But at that point, it's too late. Since I've recognized this as a problem and tried to stop interrupting others mid-story, I've definitely improved, but it's just SO rude that I want any advice or tips on how to stop more completely. Thanks in advance!", "How to keep from interrupting people Inspired by a recent post on here, but also by my own shortcomings. I'm an incredibly extroverted and extremely ADHD person. Occasionally, when I'm in a conversation, my mind will race ahead and think of some fantastically relevant story and before I even realize it, I interject into the conversation and interrupt whoever is speaking.\n\nI hate being rude, I hate rudeness in general, and I absolutely hate myself the second I realize what I've done.. But at that point, it's too late. Since I've recognized this as a problem and tried to stop interrupting others mid-story, I've definitely improved, but it's just SO rude that I want any advice or tips on how to stop more completely. Thanks in advance!", "How to keep from interrupting people Inspired by a recent post on here, but also by my own shortcomings. I'm an incredibly extroverted and extremely ADHD person. Occasionally, when I'm in a conversation, my mind will race ahead and think of some fantastically relevant story and before I even realize it, I interject into the conversation and interrupt whoever is speaking.\n\nI hate being rude, I hate rudeness in general, and I absolutely hate myself the second I realize what I've done.. But at that point, it's too late. Since I've recognized this as a problem and tried to stop interrupting others mid-story, I've definitely improved, but it's just SO rude that I want any advice or tips on how to stop more completely. Thanks in advance!", "How to keep from interrupting people Inspired by a recent post on here, but also by my own shortcomings. I'm an incredibly extroverted and extremely ADHD person. Occasionally, when I'm in a conversation, my mind will race ahead and think of some fantastically relevant story and before I even realize it, I interject into the conversation and interrupt whoever is speaking.\n\nI hate being rude, I hate rudeness in general, and I absolutely hate myself the second I realize what I've done.. But at that point, it's too late. Since I've recognized this as a problem and tried to stop interrupting others mid-story, I've definitely improved, but it's just SO rude that I want any advice or tips on how to stop more completely. Thanks in advance!", "How to keep from interrupting people Inspired by a recent post on here, but also by my own shortcomings. I'm an incredibly extroverted and extremely ADHD person. Occasionally, when I'm in a conversation, my mind will race ahead and think of some fantastically relevant story and before I even realize it, I interject into the conversation and interrupt whoever is speaking.\n\nI hate being rude, I hate rudeness in general, and I absolutely hate myself the second I realize what I've done.. But at that point, it's too late. Since I've recognized this as a problem and tried to stop interrupting others mid-story, I've definitely improved, but it's just SO rude that I want any advice or tips on how to stop more completely. Thanks in advance!", "How to keep from interrupting people Inspired by a recent post on here, but also by my own shortcomings. I'm an incredibly extroverted and extremely ADHD person. Occasionally, when I'm in a conversation, my mind will race ahead and think of some fantastically relevant story and before I even realize it, I interject into the conversation and interrupt whoever is speaking.\n\nI hate being rude, I hate rudeness in general, and I absolutely hate myself the second I realize what I've done.. But at that point, it's too late. Since I've recognized this as a problem and tried to stop interrupting others mid-story, I've definitely improved, but it's just SO rude that I want any advice or tips on how to stop more completely. Thanks in advance!", "How to keep from interrupting people Inspired by a recent post on here, but also by my own shortcomings. I'm an incredibly extroverted and extremely ADHD person. Occasionally, when I'm in a conversation, my mind will race ahead and think of some fantastically relevant story and before I even realize it, I interject into the conversation and interrupt whoever is speaking.\n\nI hate being rude, I hate rudeness in general, and I absolutely hate myself the second I realize what I've done.. But at that point, it's too late. Since I've recognized this as a problem and tried to stop interrupting others mid-story, I've definitely improved, but it's just SO rude that I want any advice or tips on how to stop more completely. Thanks in advance!" ]

[ "For me, I cut people off when I'm super excited about an idea and I want to get it out before I forget about it. When I'm in a conversation I try to remind myself that I'll always have something awesome to say or remember, so if they don't get to hear one of them it's not a big deal. If they're talking and a story pops up in your head try to push it aside and don't think \"oh no what if I forget it\" because it's okay for other people to not know it. There'll always be another great story to tell and you'll find that you'll also get to talk with them more than if you try to jump your turn.", "The moment you catch yourself interrupting, stop. Address the initial speaker, apologize for interrupting and try to get them to continue. Something like \"I'm sorry for cutting in. You were saying something about [topic]?\"\n\nAnd don't forget, a conversation isn't a race to see who has the more interesting story. If someone is speaking, focus on engaging them further on the same topic. Think of things you'd like to ask them\n\nFor example: \n\nIf they say \"I bought a new bike.\" \n\nInstead of trying to interject with a relevant story like \"Oh I bought a new [whatever] too.\" \n\nTry saying something like \"Have you taken the bike out for a spin?\"\n\nThey will appreciate you for showing interest in their conversation in addition to not interrupting them.", "Forewarn your conversation partner that you have this tendency, apologize in advance, and ask them to be patient while you try to work through it. The interruptions aren't as egregious as the perceived lack of self-awareness they indicate. Also, when you catch yourself interrupting, immediately stop your tangent, apologize for the interruption, and allow the person to finish their story. Then you can continue with your story if it's still relevant. \n\nRecognize that your mind racing is an indicator that you're not really LISTENING to your conversation partner. The key component to conversation is listening. I contribute a proportionately small amount to the majority of the conversations I participate it, but I listen attentively even when I think the other person is just prattling on about inconsequential things. Ask yourself if you want to come away from a conversation having gained insight, or having given someone else insight. You never learn anything by talking. ", "When you catch yourself doing it just apologize and ask them to continue. \"Oh sorry, I cut you off there, what were you saying?\"", "Usually people doing this aren't actually focusing on what's being said. In some situations it might make sense to take notes, which helps focus you on listening and writing, rather than letting your mind wander off track.\n\nFunny, I had to chastise a team member today who kept asking a consultant questions, then interrupting with more questions before the consultant was finished answering. \n\nPractice active listening, too.", "Pay attention to the other person's conversation is a good starting point. If you need to talk, ask yourself if you really need to talk right there right then.", "Make a list in your mind with all subjects if your interruptions. (I like that / but what if / and this / Oh I know why ETCETERA) and pick the best two. Then only use those two, and wait for the speaker to finish. If someone changes conversations, and someone either interrupts that, or changes the conversation again, scrap your list - it is no longer relevant. (You can still kinda move back to the subject you wanted to respond to if there was only one change, but after two it's too much) ", "I have what I call \"Movie quote\" Tourettes (my apologies to anyone with actual tourettes) where I have this urge to say the quote that was triggered by the conversation. I have gotten better and 'swallow' it, then ask them what they'd want to be asked. \"New bike? Have you ridden it?\" (reference shorts_onfire)" ]

[ 13, 7, 4, 3, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to cool down your car after parking in the sun? I'm not talking about the engine. Talking about the salon of the car. \n\n\nSummer here means 4 months of >45 degree (celsius) weather. If you park it in the sun, and it's a black car, you can expect 2nd degree burns when you get back in it.\n\n\n", "How to cool down your car after parking in the sun? I'm not talking about the engine. Talking about the salon of the car. \n\n\nSummer here means 4 months of >45 degree (celsius) weather. If you park it in the sun, and it's a black car, you can expect 2nd degree burns when you get back in it.\n\n\n", "How to cool down your car after parking in the sun? I'm not talking about the engine. Talking about the salon of the car. \n\n\nSummer here means 4 months of >45 degree (celsius) weather. If you park it in the sun, and it's a black car, you can expect 2nd degree burns when you get back in it.\n\n\n", "How to cool down your car after parking in the sun? I'm not talking about the engine. Talking about the salon of the car. \n\n\nSummer here means 4 months of >45 degree (celsius) weather. If you park it in the sun, and it's a black car, you can expect 2nd degree burns when you get back in it.\n\n\n", "How to cool down your car after parking in the sun? I'm not talking about the engine. Talking about the salon of the car. \n\n\nSummer here means 4 months of >45 degree (celsius) weather. If you park it in the sun, and it's a black car, you can expect 2nd degree burns when you get back in it.\n\n\n", "How to cool down your car after parking in the sun? I'm not talking about the engine. Talking about the salon of the car. \n\n\nSummer here means 4 months of >45 degree (celsius) weather. If you park it in the sun, and it's a black car, you can expect 2nd degree burns when you get back in it.\n\n\n", "How to cool down your car after parking in the sun? I'm not talking about the engine. Talking about the salon of the car. \n\n\nSummer here means 4 months of >45 degree (celsius) weather. If you park it in the sun, and it's a black car, you can expect 2nd degree burns when you get back in it.\n\n\n", "How to cool down your car after parking in the sun? I'm not talking about the engine. Talking about the salon of the car. \n\n\nSummer here means 4 months of >45 degree (celsius) weather. If you park it in the sun, and it's a black car, you can expect 2nd degree burns when you get back in it.\n\n\n", "How to cool down your car after parking in the sun? I'm not talking about the engine. Talking about the salon of the car. \n\n\nSummer here means 4 months of >45 degree (celsius) weather. If you park it in the sun, and it's a black car, you can expect 2nd degree burns when you get back in it.\n\n\n" ]

[ "If you live somewhere hot and dry, leave a spray bottle of water in the car preferably where it will get as hot as possible. Prior to entering the car, spray the hot water in a fine mist all around the interior of the car. This will significantly reduce the sensible temperature. The cooling effect is due to the \"latent heat of vaporization\" where the water absorbs about 1000 times more energy during a change of state than it does when it picks up heat, but doesn't change state.\n\nTL;DR Mist hot water in the car and the car is cooled by the magic of science.", "If you need to go quickly: Air conditioner set on just the feet vents, and then crack the windows. This circulates the hot air out.\n\nIf you have a little bit of time and don't mind looking really stupid, [here you go.](http://lifehacker.com/5823069/how-to-quickly-cool-down-your-cars-oven+like-interior)", "You can buy a [sun screen](http://www.autoanything.com/driving-accessories/20A10024A1.aspx), that shiny thing you see in people's windshields.", "They sell battery powered window fans the clip over the windows and allow them to fully close. They keep the air in the car circulating.", "Roll down your windows when you first start your car. Its easier to cool off when the air temperature is 100 degrees Farenheit then 120 or whatever rediculous temperature cars get up to.", "Keep a spray bottle of water in the car. You can mist your steering wheel and at least cool it off enough to get driving. Once you're driving everything will cool off faster.\n\nOr drape a white towel over the seat and steering wheel when you get out. Move the towel when you get it, to keep your seat a bit cooler.", "If you have one, keep the sunroof open. It's what I do, and since heat rises, it makes a world of difference. It also keeps me from worrying that a thief is going to take advantage of open windows. ", "I live in Arizona so I too come across this same problem, now for the solution, open only your passenger side window and open your driver side door repeatedly like flapping a wing, you will be pulling out the unearthly hot air from the car and creating a sort of pressure draft pulling in cool air.", "I hate when my car becomes an oven specially cause I'm scared of burning my little one. Usually I turn the ac on,roll down all windows and open doors then with a baby wipe I wipe my baby's seat and then sit him down close the doors and drive, takes less time to cooks down the car" ]

[ 13, 8, 5, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2 ]

[ "Cleaning up broken glass on carpet without a vacuum cleaner This may not actually be possible, but on the off chance it is, thanks!", "Cleaning up broken glass on carpet without a vacuum cleaner This may not actually be possible, but on the off chance it is, thanks!", "Cleaning up broken glass on carpet without a vacuum cleaner This may not actually be possible, but on the off chance it is, thanks!", "Cleaning up broken glass on carpet without a vacuum cleaner This may not actually be possible, but on the off chance it is, thanks!", "Cleaning up broken glass on carpet without a vacuum cleaner This may not actually be possible, but on the off chance it is, thanks!", "Cleaning up broken glass on carpet without a vacuum cleaner This may not actually be possible, but on the off chance it is, thanks!", "Cleaning up broken glass on carpet without a vacuum cleaner This may not actually be possible, but on the off chance it is, thanks!" ]

[ "Actually the most simple and effective solution is to dab the area with bread. The small shards of glass will stick to the bread rather than the carpet. Naturally the shaggier your carpet, the more difficult this becomes. Also don't eat the bread; bad times. ", "You could try gaffa tape, use it like you were getting pet hair off a suit; roll it around your hand adhesive side out and dab at the carpet to get the glass fragments to stick to it.", "For the really small pieces (works with most crumbs) get a wet paper towel and lay it on top of the glass, then the glass or crumbs sticks to the paper towel", "Beat the crap out of the floor with a hard rubber mallet to break the remaining glass into smaller, harmless pieces. \n\n", "not for carpet, but if you break it on a hard surface you can pick up a lot of teeny tiny shards with a slice of bread. ", "Get some duct tape. Make a loose loop of it around your hand with the sticky side facing out (also makes a good makeshift lint roller).\n\n\"Roll\" this along the carpet while using a comb or hairbrush to loosen up the little bits trapped in the fibers.", "Buy a roll of duct/duck tape. Seriously there's a million uses for it. The glue sticks while solid and is time related. Dab your carpet and it'll pick the glass without damaging the carpet.\n\n" ]

[ 55, 11, 3, 3, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?", "How to make a 16 hour flight easier. Have to get ready for a 16 hour flight. Anything to make it suck less?" ]

[ "i think it's great to brush your teeth and wash your face during a flight that long (cleansing cloths are great when travelling in general). i also like to take off my shoes and put on discrete slippers (like moccasins for ex).\n\nbesides that, agreed on ear plugs, activities like books laptop tablet etc, headphones/music, layered comfortable clothes, water, snacks and wine.", "If you're doing flights regularly, get a pair of headphones with active noise cancellation. They frequently sell Bose QuietComforts at the airports, and while they're expensive, they also help a lot. Earbuds can do you good as well, and some planes will hand them out to people (not music earbuds, but noise earbuds).\n\nFor 16 hours, get something to lay your head on, unless your side pal likes you using his/her shoulder (doesn't work well when that someone is shorter than you. My sister can rest her head on my shoulder, not vice versa). \n\nMake sure you get plenty of water, rather a toilet visit too many than one too little. Get some food too, to take away anything that can cause you to be less comfortable.\n\nMake sure you have something to distract yourself with. You can't sleep all 16 hours, so have something to do whenever you're not sleeping. This is especially handy if you start feeling sick, or uncomfortable, to have something to loose yourself in.", "If you have a tablet, get movies for it. Lots of movies. Bring an external battery like a 2300mah battery. I also listen to podcasts and a kindle.\n\nMost importantly, put yourself in a suspended animation. What I mean is don't think about how long or how far you've traveled when you get on the plane. \n\nTry to fall asleep ASAP. Ambien or alcohol might work for you, not me. If you don't fall asleep than you are just more tired. In the end, just relax and enjoy the downtime. ", "Do NOT forget to walk around a bit!!! Massage your calves, no joke. After sixteen hours at that altitude, your feet WILL swell, and not circulating the blood can lead to a blood clot. Learn from my bad experience. =)", "Bring a change of clothes.\nSomething pyjama-like. Change into it before boarding (or during first hour inside).\nChange back after landing. Also, new socks/underwear.\n\nSleep well before the flight. ", "One more thing, I've taken this long of a flight before and didn't sleep. It wasn't the end of the world. By definition, the goal is to get there and you will.", "Most long flights like that have lots of movies. Those will keep some interest in between naps and food. I always stay up at least 24 hours before a 16 hour flight so that I'm in and out of sleep the whole time. Something comfortable to rest your head on is nice and wear clothes that breathe. You'll be one stinky person after the flight if you don't. I like what someone said about changing, I'm going to try that out.\n\nP.S. The thing about napping is you may miss meal and drink opportunities, so make sure to ask the flight attendant for your meal if you slept through it. Alternatively (which I haven't done) is ask your neighbor/FA to wake you for the meal. ", "Maintaining freshness is key.\n* As hard as it is, I avoid alcohol because I'm sensitive to it and makes me feel like shit. \n* If you had a long day of travelling before getting on the plane, change into comfortable clothes right before your board the flight. Especially underwear! Put on deodorant. Brush your teeth at the terminal.\n* For pants, the key is to have plenty of space in the crotch. I have comfortable jeans that I don't wear on flights because the crotch is way too tight for that amount of time seated... I have a pair of men's pants (I'm a lady) that I wear on flights because the crotch has extra space.\n* Wear the long socks they give you. Swollen feet are real.\n* Ear plugs; I prefer them over noise cancelling headphones because it's easier to sleep with ear plugs in.\n* Travel pillow: I just use a small pillow because neck pillows don't work for me.\n* Have an empty water bottle and when you are even a little thirsty, go to the galley and ask an attendant to fill it up.\n* Get facewipes to get oil off your face when you feel dirty. \n* Bring a pair of moccasins/slippers to wear on the plane.\n* If you have lots of time waiting in an airport, it might be worth it to pay to use the lounge, especially if it provides showers!\n* Have a plan for how you carry your luggage around. Know exactly what items go in your purse, carry on, and luggage. Don't rush and be left with junk everywhere. Keep your airplane space tidy. \n* Be really careful with taking medication to sleep. I've done this in the past and had mixed results--sometimes it was great, but other times it left me far worse off. Now, I err on the side of caution and don't take anything. If you can't sleep, just accept it and think of the next pleasant thing to do.", "If you have the cash buy the seat next to you so you don't have to be cramped up, buy a neck pillow and eye mask to sleep easy, bring entertainment such as a book or tablet.", "I once took a couple ambien before an 18-hour flight, woke up with 6 hours to spare, manageable. \n\nFor my other flights that were just as long, laptop + movies, lots and lots of movies, your own small blanket is useful, the airplane ones suck. Blindfold(for like when you're sleeping)", "I fly a 9hr 45min journey every 4-6 months or so.\n\nSome tips:\n\n* Wear comfortable clothing, I usually put on a jumper/hoodie and my most comfortable jeans, loosen up your shoe laces to make your shoe more roomy (Don't remove the shoe at any cost, be considerate).\n\n* Stay hydrated (water is key, only consume caffeine before arrival).\n\n* Put on your headphones, listen to ambient music and prepare yourself for a long nap. Try to sleep as soon as the plane is taking off, the lights are off at that time and the airplane's angle also makes it more suitable to sleep on those uncomfortable seats. \n", "Grab a TV series/season you've been meaning to watch and something with enough battery life to last the trip.\n\nDrugs are also an option; I prefer the 'stay up really late and make myself naturally tired' method though.", "Before you fly:\n\nEarplugs. The engine noise is loud and constant. Even if you stop noticing it consciously, it will annoy you and keep you awake.\n\nComfy clothes.\n\nEyemask.\n\nBooks.\n\nFully charged electronics.\n\nNeck pillow\n\nSweater (planes get cold and it can be used to pad up the seat)\n\nEmpty water bottle. You can't take a full one through security but an empty one can be filled once you're through.\n\nAny medication you might need including antacids and iburprofin (or whatever).\n\nA large clear ziplock bag with everything but the sweater and the bottle in it. \n\nBoarding:\n\nDon't be in a rush: in 16 hr you will hate that seat with a passion you never knew you had. The only thing people race for is to get a bin close to their seat. Walking 1/4 of the length of the plane 3 or 4 times really isn't a hardship on a 16 hr flight.\n\nAs you board, toss everything onto your seat then deal with your carry on. If the cabin attendant wants to put your bag somewhere, just let them know that you will need to access it during the flight.\n\nThe goal now is to sleep as much as you can. Unless the plane is half empty, you're flying first class or you have the flexibility of a ferret, you're going to be shifting between a bunch of uncomfortable positions. You can use your pillow, sweater and even shoes to pad the seat and take the sting out of the armrests. A window seat is best because you can lean against the wall. A position that most people don't think of is to just put your head down on the tray table (depends on your height and the seat pitch).\n\nGet up fairly often and change sleeping positions fairly often. Never say no to another glass of water.", "After everyone is boarded, ask the flight attendant if there are any spots open (2-3 seats) if you are next to someone. I usually get a row to myself when I fly to the motherland (Korea)\n\nor if that fails.. fly first class ;]", "16 hours straight?\n\nI fly from California to Shanghai all of the time. Once or twice a month. \n\nMy biggest thing is a small USB humidifier. I think the reason most people feel like crap is because the air is so dry. This was pretty much a game changer for me, but the thing that sucks about it is that your face has to be pretty close to the device. \n\nI don't fly on airlines without wifi and power outlets - I would pay a couple hundred more if I had to. You can't stream movies, but it is amazing for keeping in contact with friends and stuff. \n\nSave a lot of movies, avoid tv shows, unless they are long. This is kind of a personal choice. If I watch a sitcom or something I find myself checking the time at the end of an episode which is usually only 15-20 minutes long and it really only grabs your attention for 15-20 minutes. I really like trilogies, it really helps to pass the time.\n\nIt might make you look like a weirdo, but get up and move around. \n\nSomeone with similar travels as mine once told me he has a ritual of staying up the day before, then drinking alcohol at the airport and taking a sleeping aid, and he's out before the flight takes off, then he wakes up mid flight, washes up in the restroom, eats a bunch of snacks and pops another sleep aid and then falls asleep again and when he wakes up, it's time to leave the plane. I've tried it once or twice and it works. ", "As soon as you get to your seat, if there's nobody behind you, put your seat back just enough to be comfortable. When the passenger behind you comes they'll just think that is how the seat was and you won't look like a dick for putting your seat back." ]

[ 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, -1 ]

[ "Home-Made postal package Hi Reddit, i sell a few things on eBay and i was wondering how i could make a postal package to put things such as clothes or games in when i send them off for delivery. I have lately just been using plastic bags taped up, but it looks very shoddy and unprofessional. (i know i could just use jiffy bags but they are expensive and i want a easy home made method that looks good and holds well. I am only 17 so i try & save as much as possible)", "Home-Made postal package Hi Reddit, i sell a few things on eBay and i was wondering how i could make a postal package to put things such as clothes or games in when i send them off for delivery. I have lately just been using plastic bags taped up, but it looks very shoddy and unprofessional. (i know i could just use jiffy bags but they are expensive and i want a easy home made method that looks good and holds well. I am only 17 so i try & save as much as possible)" ]

[ "When I used to sell on Ebay free boxes were helpful.\n\nhttp://collectibles.about.com/od/valuableresources/a/blEBuspsboxes.htm\n\nDoesn't hurt if you have a friend that works at a UPS store. They can generally give you some free bubble wrap.", "I think you should just get a large roll of brown or white paper. Wrap the package in plastic or bubble wrap if needed, then wrap it nicely in the paper, as if it were a present. (For odd shaped packages, make it like a jiffy bag.) Use shipping tape to seal it all up.\n\nWhen you have large volume, you can get a bulk amount of the stuff at an office supply store, or even look into a shipping company." ]

[ 1, 1 ]

[ "How to stop forgetting things I keep forgetting my thumbdrive at school in the computers. Any advice on how to prevent this from happening?", "How to stop forgetting things I keep forgetting my thumbdrive at school in the computers. Any advice on how to prevent this from happening?", "How to stop forgetting things I keep forgetting my thumbdrive at school in the computers. Any advice on how to prevent this from happening?", "How to stop forgetting things I keep forgetting my thumbdrive at school in the computers. Any advice on how to prevent this from happening?", "How to stop forgetting things I keep forgetting my thumbdrive at school in the computers. Any advice on how to prevent this from happening?" ]

[ "Have it attached to a retractable keychain like [this](http://www.ibpsecuritywarehouse.com/product.asp?Code=GA038)", "http://lifehacker.com/5847035/usb-guard-makes-sure-you-never-forget-your-flash-drive-when-you-shut-down\n\nor use dropbox instead", "Write a note in a separate word document in large text saying \"REMEMBER THE THUMBDRIVE\" Just put it in the background and then when you go to close everything down you will see it and it will remind you.", "I like to put things I need to remember with my car keys. Even if its food ill put my keys in the fridge. Your'e not going anywhere without your keys, right?", "I used to do this a lot at college. Just keep a word document telling you about the thumbdrive and leave it in the background so then when it's time to close everything you'll notice it.\n\nFor remembering other things, think of what you will naturally do last before requiring the thing you need to remember.. then write a note or something about that thing or put the thing you need to remember near the last thing you'll do. (Eg. Before leaving house you're going to put your shoes on, so put your car keys in your shoes)." ]

[ 5, 4, 4, 3, 2 ]

[ "How do you keep your computer's screen from killing your eyes? Like many people, I spend 12 or more hours staring into a screen on a daily basis. Lately I've been noticing that my eyes are definitely straining.\n\n\n My eyes were so dry sometimes that the texture of my eyeballs seemed different. My vision was noticeably blurred, even when I looked away from my screen. It was really affecting my productivity, and it was exceptionally uncomfortable. It also kept me from being able to relax at night. \n\n\n Would love to hear how everyone else deals with the strain of working at a computer all day. What methods or products do you incorporate?\n", "How do you keep your computer's screen from killing your eyes? Like many people, I spend 12 or more hours staring into a screen on a daily basis. Lately I've been noticing that my eyes are definitely straining.\n\n\n My eyes were so dry sometimes that the texture of my eyeballs seemed different. My vision was noticeably blurred, even when I looked away from my screen. It was really affecting my productivity, and it was exceptionally uncomfortable. It also kept me from being able to relax at night. \n\n\n Would love to hear how everyone else deals with the strain of working at a computer all day. What methods or products do you incorporate?\n", "How do you keep your computer's screen from killing your eyes? Like many people, I spend 12 or more hours staring into a screen on a daily basis. Lately I've been noticing that my eyes are definitely straining.\n\n\n My eyes were so dry sometimes that the texture of my eyeballs seemed different. My vision was noticeably blurred, even when I looked away from my screen. It was really affecting my productivity, and it was exceptionally uncomfortable. It also kept me from being able to relax at night. \n\n\n Would love to hear how everyone else deals with the strain of working at a computer all day. What methods or products do you incorporate?\n", "How do you keep your computer's screen from killing your eyes? Like many people, I spend 12 or more hours staring into a screen on a daily basis. Lately I've been noticing that my eyes are definitely straining.\n\n\n My eyes were so dry sometimes that the texture of my eyeballs seemed different. My vision was noticeably blurred, even when I looked away from my screen. It was really affecting my productivity, and it was exceptionally uncomfortable. It also kept me from being able to relax at night. \n\n\n Would love to hear how everyone else deals with the strain of working at a computer all day. What methods or products do you incorporate?\n", "How do you keep your computer's screen from killing your eyes? Like many people, I spend 12 or more hours staring into a screen on a daily basis. Lately I've been noticing that my eyes are definitely straining.\n\n\n My eyes were so dry sometimes that the texture of my eyeballs seemed different. My vision was noticeably blurred, even when I looked away from my screen. It was really affecting my productivity, and it was exceptionally uncomfortable. It also kept me from being able to relax at night. \n\n\n Would love to hear how everyone else deals with the strain of working at a computer all day. What methods or products do you incorporate?\n", "How do you keep your computer's screen from killing your eyes? Like many people, I spend 12 or more hours staring into a screen on a daily basis. Lately I've been noticing that my eyes are definitely straining.\n\n\n My eyes were so dry sometimes that the texture of my eyeballs seemed different. My vision was noticeably blurred, even when I looked away from my screen. It was really affecting my productivity, and it was exceptionally uncomfortable. It also kept me from being able to relax at night. \n\n\n Would love to hear how everyone else deals with the strain of working at a computer all day. What methods or products do you incorporate?\n", "How do you keep your computer's screen from killing your eyes? Like many people, I spend 12 or more hours staring into a screen on a daily basis. Lately I've been noticing that my eyes are definitely straining.\n\n\n My eyes were so dry sometimes that the texture of my eyeballs seemed different. My vision was noticeably blurred, even when I looked away from my screen. It was really affecting my productivity, and it was exceptionally uncomfortable. It also kept me from being able to relax at night. \n\n\n Would love to hear how everyone else deals with the strain of working at a computer all day. What methods or products do you incorporate?\n", "How do you keep your computer's screen from killing your eyes? Like many people, I spend 12 or more hours staring into a screen on a daily basis. Lately I've been noticing that my eyes are definitely straining.\n\n\n My eyes were so dry sometimes that the texture of my eyeballs seemed different. My vision was noticeably blurred, even when I looked away from my screen. It was really affecting my productivity, and it was exceptionally uncomfortable. It also kept me from being able to relax at night. \n\n\n Would love to hear how everyone else deals with the strain of working at a computer all day. What methods or products do you incorporate?\n", "How do you keep your computer's screen from killing your eyes? Like many people, I spend 12 or more hours staring into a screen on a daily basis. Lately I've been noticing that my eyes are definitely straining.\n\n\n My eyes were so dry sometimes that the texture of my eyeballs seemed different. My vision was noticeably blurred, even when I looked away from my screen. It was really affecting my productivity, and it was exceptionally uncomfortable. It also kept me from being able to relax at night. \n\n\n Would love to hear how everyone else deals with the strain of working at a computer all day. What methods or products do you incorporate?\n", "How do you keep your computer's screen from killing your eyes? Like many people, I spend 12 or more hours staring into a screen on a daily basis. Lately I've been noticing that my eyes are definitely straining.\n\n\n My eyes were so dry sometimes that the texture of my eyeballs seemed different. My vision was noticeably blurred, even when I looked away from my screen. It was really affecting my productivity, and it was exceptionally uncomfortable. It also kept me from being able to relax at night. \n\n\n Would love to hear how everyone else deals with the strain of working at a computer all day. What methods or products do you incorporate?\n", "How do you keep your computer's screen from killing your eyes? Like many people, I spend 12 or more hours staring into a screen on a daily basis. Lately I've been noticing that my eyes are definitely straining.\n\n\n My eyes were so dry sometimes that the texture of my eyeballs seemed different. My vision was noticeably blurred, even when I looked away from my screen. It was really affecting my productivity, and it was exceptionally uncomfortable. It also kept me from being able to relax at night. \n\n\n Would love to hear how everyone else deals with the strain of working at a computer all day. What methods or products do you incorporate?\n" ]

[ "F.lux can eliminate the blue light that makes your eyes ridiculously tired. Works for me. I have a feeling someone else might be able to give better advice ", "These 2 have worked for me personally: \n\n1. Using a lamp with a dimmer switch. I bounce the light off the white wall. But you can get the same results with shaded light that distributes it evenly. Glare strains your retinas and having; even, flat (albeit sufficient) lighting is optimal for comfort and the health of your eyes. \n\n\n2. Using a foaming eyelid cleanser. I like to take a break every few hours and wash my face. I've noticed it helps me maintain focus, and the moisture actually made my vision temporarily less blurry. A friend recommended me [*We Love Eyes*](http://lynk.my/fLNC) I use it because it's made of tea-tree oil, and it leaves my eyes feeling immediately refreshed, like I just put in eyedrops. \n\n", "While F.lux is a great program for the computer I think you might find using your phone late at night is the worst. If you have an android, you can get an app called Twilight from the app store. It works in a similar way to F.lux by reducing the amount of blue light emitting from your screen. Blue light is proven to inhibit melatonin production in the body as it tricks the brain into thinking it's still day time. \nSource: \nhttp://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21552190", "I have the same problem. My optometrist told me to either start using eye drops or try to blink more. Apparently when we stare at a computer screen we don't blink as much which dries your eyes out and makes them \"burn\".", "A special pair of glasses, which blocks a good amount of the blue light coming from the monitor, should help you relieve some eye-stress.\n\nAnother solution could be a pair of pinhole glasses. The holes force your eyes to move more (less staring at the screen).\n\nI cannot really explain it well, so I will include images to the glasses below!\n\nGood luck, hope you will find a solution!\n\nhttp://computerlenses.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/computer-glasses.jpg\n\nhttp://images.e-deala.com/700063/002.jpg", "Use this program.\n\nhttps://justgetflux.com/\n\nIt makes the light from your screen warmer and hence less damaging to eyes ", "If you have the money and the freedom to do it, get yourself a huge desk where the monitor can be placed pretty far away, and use a large high quality 4k monitor or multiple monitors (depending on the kind of work you're doing). Wear glasses instead of contacts, and be sure your prescription is up to date. Make sure there is plenty of ambient lighting in your work space and that the monitor is not overpoweringly bright.\n\nTaking breaks helps, but it doesn't thwart the cause of your eye strain. The cause is primarily having to focus on a screen so close to your face. Our eyes were evolved to mostly focus at objects in the distance, and the modern world is not very accommodating to this. Having a bigger monitor that is farther away from your face is not economical, which is why I call it a luxury.", "If it's the light from the screen that's bothering you try out Flux. It helps a lot.\n\nhttps://justgetflux.com/", "I like how the OP requests help with their computer screen and everyone responds with info about what to do with your phone.. phones have become computers for people heh.. \n\nI am with you OP i have been putting in 12-18hr days for years and my eyes are fried.. I should really just give it up and go live in the woods and maybe my eyes will come back...\n\nI do have one thing of help .. sleep in the darkest room you can .. nightlights or other things will cause you problems.. unfortunately i average about 5hrs a night if lucky.. thats probably also a problem.. ", "[mirrors](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cmwov/hey_reddit_what_tattoos_do_you_have/c0tpyls)", "Try working on complete darkness. Only your monitor on. \n\nThis works for me. If I have any light other than the monitor, my eyes want to focus on different light density. I tried a light behind a monitor, desk lamp, room light and window light, but my eyes want to also take a peak at the brighter or darker light on the side of my eyes.\n\nDoing this, I can work for unlimited hours without hurting my eyes, but if I get up and go outside for what ever reason, my eyes burn and need a while for the adjustment." ]

[ 50, 46, 8, 5, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 0, 0 ]

[ "remove dog hair from car carpet I lay down sheets when transporting dogs to the vet. No matter how careful I am there is always dog hair left over and it sticks to the carpet. It’s hard to vacuum. Any life hacks?", "remove dog hair from car carpet I lay down sheets when transporting dogs to the vet. No matter how careful I am there is always dog hair left over and it sticks to the carpet. It’s hard to vacuum. Any life hacks?", "remove dog hair from car carpet I lay down sheets when transporting dogs to the vet. No matter how careful I am there is always dog hair left over and it sticks to the carpet. It’s hard to vacuum. Any life hacks?", "remove dog hair from car carpet I lay down sheets when transporting dogs to the vet. No matter how careful I am there is always dog hair left over and it sticks to the carpet. It’s hard to vacuum. Any life hacks?", "remove dog hair from car carpet I lay down sheets when transporting dogs to the vet. No matter how careful I am there is always dog hair left over and it sticks to the carpet. It’s hard to vacuum. Any life hacks?" ]

[ "Ex detailer here. Use a straight razor to scrape the dog hair off the carpet into bunches that can be vacuumed. For seats, use a nitrile glove to rub your hand along the seats. The friction bunches the hair which makes it much easier to vacuum.", "Pumice stone. Sounds stupid but I've used it at my shop for years. Bunches it right up. Pair it with the vacuum.", "I bought a rubber tool of sorts for car detailing... little bigger than a cr", "The side of your shoe, or at least a rubber soled shoe, dragged along a carpet can remove hair.\n\nJust drag the shoe sole edge along the carpet towards an edge, and the hair will roll into sausages that can be picked up or vacuumed.", "This works just fine when you need a quick cleanup or just can’t stand for one more minute to see that gold hair on your maroon rug." ]

[ 7, 6, 3, 2, 1 ]

[ "What are questions a person/student wouldn't think to ask while having a Q&A with a mentor or person in their future field? ", "What are questions a person/student wouldn't think to ask while having a Q&A with a mentor or person in their future field? " ]

[ "am i here to fill a spot or am i here to be apart of a team?\n\ni’m looking at a career change, i was under the impression that i knew exactly what my job outline was because i specifically asked, three years later i carry my entire department but i have no sight of any legitimate growth in the company nor do i care to take positions of the higher ups given they’re on salary and working their lives away. \n\nthat, and asking exactly who to talk to when you’re in a tough situation. not just your direct manager but anyone above him/her or anyone in a position to actually help you help your company by coming up with solutions to any troubles in the workplace. just because the work is done on paper DOES NOT mean the individual(s) who made it happen weren’t struggling to get it done. nothing is worse than being the only person to do what you do and fearing retaliation or no positive consequences for asking for help while on the job, especially when you’ve got a family to support. mental health is just as important as being physically safe... i feel like benefits packages, daily ops, required equipment and pay(had a company refuse to discuss this with me) are standard topics.", "Might be good to ask about specialization niches. For example in my field, 95% of us do the main thing, but those who are detail-oriented enough to do intricate tasks flawlessly, and who enjoy working alone, may go into a small branch of the field that has pretty decent pay and less competition for work. Perhaps some weird little job off the main path would have more of the tasks you enjoy/do well, and/or less of the tasks you dislike/aren't as good at, compared to the work most people in the field do. Pay attention to the differences, jot it all down, because though you may like the mainstream gig now, maybe in a few years you will have decided you hate X or yearn to do more Y, and perhaps checking those notes you'll realize one of the niche gigs is perfect. An obscure branch of your original field is easier to switch to than a whole new career, should you find certain parts of your job unbearable." ]

[ 1, 1 ]

[ "Please please please help me stop procrastinating, like, right now. If I have homework to do, chances are I'll do everything else on offer, even if it's less fun than the homework, before ending up staying up late finishing the homework. Often it's not hard or even overly boring, I just can't seem to stop putting it off. I have homework to do right now, I'm putting it off by writing this. \n\nIt seems like I'm procrastinating more and more recently and it's really starting to get annoying, especially when I plan exactly when and how I'll do the work and then still haven't done it a week later. I've tried writing schedules and stuff, no success. I think if I don't find a way to get a half-decent work ethic really soon it's going to start causing real problems.", "Please please please help me stop procrastinating, like, right now. If I have homework to do, chances are I'll do everything else on offer, even if it's less fun than the homework, before ending up staying up late finishing the homework. Often it's not hard or even overly boring, I just can't seem to stop putting it off. I have homework to do right now, I'm putting it off by writing this. \n\nIt seems like I'm procrastinating more and more recently and it's really starting to get annoying, especially when I plan exactly when and how I'll do the work and then still haven't done it a week later. I've tried writing schedules and stuff, no success. I think if I don't find a way to get a half-decent work ethic really soon it's going to start causing real problems.", "Please please please help me stop procrastinating, like, right now. If I have homework to do, chances are I'll do everything else on offer, even if it's less fun than the homework, before ending up staying up late finishing the homework. Often it's not hard or even overly boring, I just can't seem to stop putting it off. I have homework to do right now, I'm putting it off by writing this. \n\nIt seems like I'm procrastinating more and more recently and it's really starting to get annoying, especially when I plan exactly when and how I'll do the work and then still haven't done it a week later. I've tried writing schedules and stuff, no success. I think if I don't find a way to get a half-decent work ethic really soon it's going to start causing real problems.", "Please please please help me stop procrastinating, like, right now. If I have homework to do, chances are I'll do everything else on offer, even if it's less fun than the homework, before ending up staying up late finishing the homework. Often it's not hard or even overly boring, I just can't seem to stop putting it off. I have homework to do right now, I'm putting it off by writing this. \n\nIt seems like I'm procrastinating more and more recently and it's really starting to get annoying, especially when I plan exactly when and how I'll do the work and then still haven't done it a week later. I've tried writing schedules and stuff, no success. I think if I don't find a way to get a half-decent work ethic really soon it's going to start causing real problems.", "Please please please help me stop procrastinating, like, right now. If I have homework to do, chances are I'll do everything else on offer, even if it's less fun than the homework, before ending up staying up late finishing the homework. Often it's not hard or even overly boring, I just can't seem to stop putting it off. I have homework to do right now, I'm putting it off by writing this. \n\nIt seems like I'm procrastinating more and more recently and it's really starting to get annoying, especially when I plan exactly when and how I'll do the work and then still haven't done it a week later. I've tried writing schedules and stuff, no success. I think if I don't find a way to get a half-decent work ethic really soon it's going to start causing real problems.", "Please please please help me stop procrastinating, like, right now. If I have homework to do, chances are I'll do everything else on offer, even if it's less fun than the homework, before ending up staying up late finishing the homework. Often it's not hard or even overly boring, I just can't seem to stop putting it off. I have homework to do right now, I'm putting it off by writing this. \n\nIt seems like I'm procrastinating more and more recently and it's really starting to get annoying, especially when I plan exactly when and how I'll do the work and then still haven't done it a week later. I've tried writing schedules and stuff, no success. I think if I don't find a way to get a half-decent work ethic really soon it's going to start causing real problems.", "Please please please help me stop procrastinating, like, right now. If I have homework to do, chances are I'll do everything else on offer, even if it's less fun than the homework, before ending up staying up late finishing the homework. Often it's not hard or even overly boring, I just can't seem to stop putting it off. I have homework to do right now, I'm putting it off by writing this. \n\nIt seems like I'm procrastinating more and more recently and it's really starting to get annoying, especially when I plan exactly when and how I'll do the work and then still haven't done it a week later. I've tried writing schedules and stuff, no success. I think if I don't find a way to get a half-decent work ethic really soon it's going to start causing real problems." ]

[ "Try the pomodoro technique, work for 15-20 mins take a fine minute break, after every 4 chunks of 15-20 minutes take a 15-20 minute break. I'm like you and it works for me.", "Extreme procrastination is often a sign of adult ADHD. It's a form of self medication, increased stress from putting things off, can lead to increased neurotransmitter levels in your brain, something you may have a lower level of than a \"normal\" person. \n\nDo you often twitch or move your legs constantly when sitting? Do you have tons of projects or hobbies that you start but never finish? Is your short term memory terrible? Can you never remember the names of new people you meet?\n\nPerhaps seeing a psychiatrist may help ? \n\nExercise can make a huge difference. If you know you have something you need to work on, go for a jog. Something physically stimulating can completely change your state of mind, making you a lot more willing to start whatever it is you're putting off.", "What gets measured gets done.\n\nFind a way of measuring success, and agree a reward when it's done. This can be done alone, or with a friend to hold you accountable. As an example- Do homework, earn guilt free video-game time.\n\nOR\n\nMake a logbook. Can be just a calender, could be a spreadsheet, or even just a piece of paper with squares drawn on it. Every day you do your homework, you get a tick/star/unicorn in today's box. Then, aim for complete lines- streaks. Knowing how well you are doing can be incredibly motivating.\n\nFOr more Ideas https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/ ", "It's a matter of perspective.\n\nYou think that you can get away with it, and perhaps you can... right now... but what you need to realize is that will not always be the case. There'll come a time when procrastination will lead to more shit than you can handle and when that time comes you'll need to have trained yourself to conduct yourself differently or you won't be able to do it.\n\nDon't listen to anyone who's talking about ADHD. We all procrastinate. It's our default state. No one wants to do the things that they don't want to do. However, in time we learn to endure the things we *have* to do. What you're lacking is self discipline. \n\nWhen you have a plate of food in front of you, do you eat your favorite item first or leave it til last?\n\nProcrastination is eating the good stuff first and then having to slog through the boring stuff.\n\nWhy do that? Instead, rush the food you're not so hot on, then spend as much time as you like savoring the good stuff. It's called delaying gratification and it's what separates the winners and the losers.\n\nYou have a certain number of hours. Do the homework right away and the rest of your hours are completely free. Moreover if you continue to invest your time into things like homework, you'll buy yourself even more free time in the future. The worst case scenario involves you working a 60 hour week and having no time or resources at all. That can happen if you fuck up badly enough, or even if you do everything right.\n\nSo get used to doing the ugly stuff, the boring stuff, right away. Get them done, then you don't have to worry about a damn thing and you can do whatever the hell you want with the rest of your time.\n\nWork; then play. That's the only pro-tip you'll ever need and if you practise it, you'll master it.", "The best thing that always works for me is just stay focused on what you need to do. Keep telling yourself to focus and try to remember to focus.", "Small tasks that you can measure and set goals. Reward yourself with a break, like getting onto Reddit. For example, tell yourself you have to get these 5 things done before going to bed. And maybe 3 of them before dinner. Write them down and mark them off as you go. They should be small enough that you can get them done. Those small accomplishments will be a reward for your brain. Figure out a pattern that works for you and use it. Lists, goals, and small tasks usually work. But you have to stick with it and be disciplined about getting the work done. \n\nAlso look at the bigger picture. Print a page with your long term goals and remind yourself that you're getting closer with every small tasks. Walking a mile starts with the first step - treat every one of those tasks like a step toward your success. ", "Just **fucking start**. Seriously. \n\nMomentum is a powerful force. If you are at rest, you will stay at rest. Once you get moving it is far easier to get going. Don't look at your task in a huge pile and say \"oh its soooo much! I *just can't even*!\" Look at it in small manageable steps and start there." ]

[ 6, 4, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect...", "How to ask for a raise. Specifically, a 20%-30% raise. I'm not looking for pennies on the dollar per pay check. I plan to renegotiate my salary after (completeing college or getting certifications) ect..." ]

[ "Always present evidence as to why you deserve a raise first. Don't start with \"I want a raise\". Start with what has changed (eg, completing college or getting a certificate). Next explain how this change benefits **them** (This is the most important!). Finally, ask for a raise. You should have 2 amounts in mind when you ask for a raise too. 1. The amount you would like (say 30% more) and 2. The lowest amount of a raise you will accept without quitting (if that is your ultimatum). \n\nThe really important part is stressing the beneficial impact that you currently have on the company and how the company can benefit more from your new skills. It's best to wait till you have proof that you have implemented those skills too. More proof is always better.\n", "Listen to the people here.\n\nI can't stress enough giving them the evidence before asking. Asking first puts you on the defensive every time you justify it. Telling them why you're worth it first puts them on the defensive and if you're valuable and they have no tangible reason to refuse then they won't have anything to say.\n\nIf they just want to be dicks and not give you a good raise that you are worth, and you quit, do not go back. They might be screwed and say \"we will give you your raise\" only to fire you 2 weeks later when they've found a replacement.", "Best method I've heard is to first gauge your value on the job market. If you really are worth 20-30% more, go get that offer from another company. A lot of times just because you finished a degree or got a certification will not directly equate to a large raise. If you can get that money from another company, you can then take that offer to your current employer and ask them to beat it. Just be sure you are really ready to leave your current company if they say no. ", "Get another offer and be ready to leave. It'll be way easier to get a 20-30% raise from an outside company with a new job. Then just be honest and say you want to stay but it's hard to turn down such a generous offer. \n\nI tripled my salary in <4 years by consistently using the market to determine my value. Left twice and got three raises to stay. \n\nIf you're good, and can prove it, this is the straightest way to shoot. ", "Demonstrate how you you have increased in value for the company with specifics. Cite added responsibilities, noteworthy accomplishments and allude to industry rates. \n\nIf you can't explicitly say why you are worth more, then you aren't going to be worth more. ", "I've found also that looking around for jobs that pay what you're looking for helps-- even getting an interview. I personally prefer to get a higher offer then tell my boss that I really want to stay here, I just have to do what's right for my family.", "I'm a business owner and deal with this from the other side. I'm in the insurance industry and the transportation industry (I own multiple businesses). Harsh and blunt thoughts coming: \n\nPeople that approach me with the \"I need a raise\" attitude or \"You don't pay me enough\" tend to be blown off. I don't care if you don't think I pay you enough, why are you doing this job then??? I don't know anyone who thinks they \"make enough money.\" If it really is just about the money, you can quit and go find another job where they pay you what you think you deserve and someone else can deal with you complaining about wanting and deserving more than what you're getting. Good luck!\n\nNow... I know everyone's value that works for me, I know who works harder than others, I know who bitches and complains the most/least and *I VALUE THEM MORE* When people approach me with specifics about why they feel they are worth more than what they are getting I am much more inclined pull up a chair and to listen to them. Also, no offense, but your degree isn't worth squat to me. Talent is. What you bring to the table is what defines value. Your $75,000 piece of paper that you spent 4 or 5 years to \"earn\" is probably the most worthless thing I've ever seen, and I'm bothered when people wave that piece of paper in my face. That doesn't bring ME any money, it just shows you are a dumbass by not investing in a skillset or a trade and somehow think you are more valuable for your lack of planning for the future. I know that's the opposite of what society tells you, sorry. I am investing in our local schools for trade programs personally. I believe in an education if it translates to actual skills in the future. I've seen complete idiots with a college degree though. We don't live in the 1950's anymore. \n\nCertifications are different, it's expected that a raise accompanies certifications. In one of my fields though, you are typically better off taking what's offered and spending a year or 2 perfecting your skills, and then opening your own business in that trade - contract work is much more profitable in my experience. \n\nTo summarize: Can I replace you easily and quickly? If I do, will I have a similar quality work product from someone else for what I'm currently paying you? If yes, you will be replaced. \n\nDo you have skills that are difficult to find in the market? Do you take direction well? Do you promote a positive and healthy work environment for your peers? Do I like being around you? If yes, I'd definitely consider a 20-30% raise to keep you. ", "Renegotiating salary at a large company is a little more difficult because they generally have a process that bases annual compensation increases based on the previous year's financial performance. It's certainly worth asking but anything more than 10%-15% (in line with shift differential) is rare in my experience. I did eventually learn that an easier way to get a raise, better schedule, and/or put myself on a fast track for promotion, was to shop myself around to other companies. You already have a job so you won't feel the pressure or desperation in interviews, plus you won't simply be happy to take what they offer. You can be more selective to offers and more comfortable negotiating schedule, vacation, salary, etc... If you really like your current company (and I mean really, really like it for some reason) you can give them the opportunity to counteroffer when you give your notice. But make sure you leave on good terms because you can always go back later. And companies almost always pay outside \"new blood\" more then internal promotions. Go elsewhere, make more money, gain experience, and in a few years submit your resume to your old company and negotiate with the confidence that you already have a job and more to offer. Don't get hung up on some idea of loyalty to a large corporation. The only thing they owe you is your last paycheck and that's all they'll give you. Shop yourself around and always look out for number one because nobody else will. ", "Here's how I did it:\n\nStep 1: Know your company. What do they value? How do they show that value? \n\nStep 2: Start planning to ask for that raise now. Go to your boss and ask for a performance review in 2 months, or however far in advance you need to demonstrate that value. Point out that you'd like to use that performance review to talk about your future with the company.\n\nStep 3: Start collecting data points. Every time you do the thing that the company values, save it. Screenshots, customer thank you letters, testimonies from co-workers, you name it. Become obsessive about this. Do it at least once a week.\n\nStep 4: Make an honest evaluation of your situation. How much are you worth on the open market? Are you willing to leave the company to get that value? How long are you willing to go without getting that raise? Are you willing to stay at the company if you don't get a raise? What are your long term career goals? Can you meet them at this company? Are there other things the company can do (like paying for education) in lieu of a salary increase?\n\nSide note, if your research reveals you're doing better than average that your current position, you might want to reconsider asking for that raise. But don't be afraid to find other things to request; you don't get 100% of the things you don't ask for.\n\nStep 5: Are you prepared? Good, performance review time. Be patient through the whole thing. Let your boss tell you what you are doing right and wrong. Get a feel for what kind of an asset you are to the company. You may not be as valuable as you think. On the other hand, you may be awesome. Once you have an honest valuation from your boss, share why you think of your value, and what that value is. Look for signs of agreement or disagreement.\n\nStep 6: Finally, lay out your case for your future with the company, and include that you'd be looking for a 20-30% raise in the next 3 months, education benefits, or whatever you decided to request. Show data that this is the industry standard for people in your position. Don't argue, but use the data points from the performance review to make your case. If there is disagreement between the performance review and your boss' reaction, point out the discrepancy and ask for clarification. You are finished when both you and your manager have laid your cards on the table as best as possible and everyone understands each other. Thank your boss for their time.\n\nAt this point, you've given ample warning about your expectations, given your employer multiple ways to address those expectations, and laid out your case as well as possible. You'll know you did something right if there are follow up actions taken, preferably by your boss' boss.\n\nStep 7: Finally, 2 months in, if nothing happens, start looking for a new job. If your research is correct, you should have no trouble finding a position that pays what you are looking for and you shouldn't stay at a job that is undervaluing you without good reason. Keep performing well at work and busting butt. If you have to go, give two weeks notice and don't mention the earlier steps, just say you got an offer you couldn't turn down. Don't make your boss look bad, you'll probably need them for a reference down the road. Leave on good terms.\n\nI've done this twice: once resulted in a raise, and once resulted in me leaving for greener pastures. Both managers have since given me glowing references. Good luck, OP.", "if you can't even figure how to do a search for 3 seconds and find the multiple times this has been answered already something tells me you don't deserve a raise.\n\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/search?q=raise&restrict_sr=on", "1. Make sure you actually deserve a raise. And there is only one way to sufficiently deserve a raise: make sure they are willing to pay you your requested amount instead of just firing you and getting someone else. \n\nI feel like a lot of people on here do not appreciate how a business is run. They believe in things like karma, and being rewarded for hard work. Which may be how some businesses are run depending on size, and your boss. \n\nBut if you are in any type of corporate setting, a real mid-size + firm with a professional executive team, it will simply come down to how fungible you are. \n\nIF your raise is cheaper than it would cost to replace you (including training, lost efficiency, etc.), then you will get your raise. If your raise will cost more than simply replacing you, then you will be let go (eventually). It may not happen immediately, but management will know you are not satisfied, and will look to replace you when convenient. \n\nYou should ignore that nonsense that you see on TVs about inviting your boss over to dinner because you have been loyal to the company and all that nonsense. Didn't really happen in the 50s, and doesn't happen today. \n\nBusiness is business, and you should remember that. ", "Always let them know you want to talk about it first. Give them time to put together an idea of how much they want to give you, and their records on your performance. ", "Never ask for a raise. Ask them what their policy on raises is and that makes them either start the discussion with you if they don't have one or it puts them on a schedule if they do raises.\n\nIf their answer is never, just quit.", "It's important to make and keep salary an ongoing topic with your superiors, you should be talking about it formally once or twice a year. If it's an open and shut issue, you will only get a yes or no. With a dialogue you can include some measures / outcomes that can be attached to it, making your case build gradually. Also- always talk to market as opposed to saying you've got an offer, loyalty and buy-in to the company is a very desirable quality. ", "Here is the e-mail I sent that got me the raise I was looking for. This basically a temp job I do covering PAs when they go on holiday. I probably could have asked for more, but in fairness compared to what some companies pay I was already doing pretty good.\n\nGood afternoon xxxx,\n \nWorking at xxxxxx has been good for me, the flexibility to come in support the team when needed has allowed me to continue other projects.\n\nIt is great to always be welcomed back by the team, even when months pass between shifts and I hope this is a reflection of the job that I do.\n\nI continue to work with xxx to ensure when he is away I am able to provide cover, this includes xxx holiday in October and over the Christmas period, However, my salary is still on the same level since I first joined to support xxxxin basic office duties (filing, card scanning etc) in xxxx and have since taken on more responsibility when I do provide cover.\n\nSimply because of this increased contribution and loyalty I strongly believe that I’ve earned a pay raise. Going forward a 5% rise would be equal and extra £xxx an hour, taking my hourly rate up to £xxx.\n\nTherefore, I humbly ask for a review of my performance and the salary increase that reflects the above issues.\n\n\nThank you in advance,\nSincerely", "Every two years move on to a new company, that's the only way to get 20-30% otherwise you'll be lucky to get them to agree to a 5%", "You have to first get yourself valued in the market. If you believe you can get 20-30% outside only then you should go ask for this money. \n\nPresent concrete evidence that YOU can get something like this in the market. In terms of how to present this evidence, go with what /u/persephone11185 said. ", "This isnt a good example but i once went into my boss's (bosses?) office and made a speech about why i deserved a raise. He let me finish and then very calmly told me that i had already gotten one and i hadnt been paying attention to my paychecks ", "Serious question here: what kind of jobs/careers are you guys talking about where raises are negotiable? For example I work for a railroad and we have Union. Pay is predetermined with contracts yearly and asking for a raise is pretty much useless. The only kinds of places that I can imagine asking for a pay raise is maybe working for a company where you have a personal relationship with the owner/ manager. \nOP: if you don't mind sharing... What industry do you work in? You don't have to share anything that will identify your place of business but I'm really interested. ", "Not sure if you'll see this but look up ramit sethi on YouTube and then google. He has tons of great videos on this exact thing and the psychology behind asking for a raise. I've found it very valuable and understanding the reasoning goes a long way. My friends have used it successfully many times.", "My boss is cool so one day we were chatting about buying stuff and i said \"I wish my job paid me more so i can have more things\" ", "Good reasons to ask for a raise. \n\nPeople in your team left for other jobs internal or external. If you are critical to your teams success, and other people transfer or change jobs you are in a stronger position because it will be more important that you are retained. \n\nYou are under paid. Check glass ceiling to find out what people in your city and line of work are paid. \n\nBad reasons to ask for a raise - You feel you work harder than your peers. Everybody thinks they are the key to their team but others rarely see it that way. You want more money just because. \nOutside of scheduled performance reviews you are less likely to get a raise if they can avoid it. Again the exception is if you are not being paid enough for your position. People are human and sometimes they don't realize your salary isn't up to snuff. \n\nTips for actually making yourself invaluable and making it easier for raises to be dispensed and discussed. When you succeed, document it, make sure others know of the success. You want people above your boss to see your name in a positive light. They probably don't know much about you and what little they know is going to come from 'Oh that was the guy that got the kudos email from our biggest customer' etc. Encourage your customers to provide feedback to your manager good or bad but try your hardest to make sure it's good. \n\nThe way it works is managers have a budget and they have to make the most they can of it. This can mean having fewer more capable and higher paid people, or more and less skilled lower paid people. It's not always their decision if they don't have the budget for discretionary raises it won't happen even if they want to give you one. \n\nThe surest way of increasing your salary is to get new jobs. Even in situations where you leave a company, and later come back to it, your pay will go up more usually than if you had stayed with the company. \n\nIt's not comfortable for many people to constantly switch employers every few years but if your goal is to increase your asking salary as much as possible, that is the way to do it. Every job you take should pay a little more, you should learn all you can at it, and then you should move on. Contracting is a good way to do this and I don't mean contracting like for hire or temp work which pay less, I mean real contracting where you get paid MORE than an employee because you have no benefits, and the type of work you do is so highly paid that many places can't afford to hire you full time. \n\nYou can double your salary in 5 or 6 years by doing this and staying on top of career related education, training, and certifications. ", "You want a 30% raise?\n\nYou better have years of experience and proof that you've knocked it out the park consistently over those years.\n\n30% is an insane increase in today's world surely?\n\nIn the UK, unless you're a manager or director, asking for 30% would just get a laugh. You'd be lucky to get 5-10%.", "You have to consider the person you will be asking and if they are not the decision maker, the person they will forward your request to. Some people take offense to requests for raises and you have to start with the question, \"when is a good time to review my compensation?\"\n\nOther people would welcome the discussion and you can be frank with them.\n\nThe biggest and most important step however is preparation. Know what you are worth on the open market. Know what you can get elsewhere. Glassdoor and other salary sites can provide information on this, but take it with a grain of salt. Nothing proves your value like a competing offer from another company.\n\nAnd if you interview and get competitive offers, you don't have to disclose them in your request for a salary. But they sure do provide backbone to your spine if you decide to stand your ground with your current employer.", "When I started, my job was to ____________.\n\nNow, I do _______________________________.\n\nPersonal qualifications are great but not always relevant to your job. \n\nDemonstrated ability to perform above and beyond your job duties will give you the best opportunity for getting a raise. As others have said I guess, provide proof if its applicable in that industry. ", "Whatever you do, focus on the company side of things, which come down to a few factors:\n\n1) What is the market rate for someone of your skill set? Replacing you would cost just as much as giving you a raise if not more because they will have to recruit and train someone.\n\n2) What value do you bring do the company. Demonstrate figures. The last raise I got before I went full time freelance was at the Ice rink I worked at. I pointed out the number of skates I sharpened per week more than paid for my salary, even after cost of supplies and maintenance on the machine. If I did nothing but sharpen skates it was a net gain to the company. Not only that, but a lot of people only let me sharpen their skates because I was perceived as one of the best (Not really true, I just gave a shit so my work was consistently good).\n\n3) Point out any new responsibilities you have been given since you were hired. Things not in your original job description.\n\n4) Point out any unfilled vacancies. Have any co-workers quit and not had their positions filled? That means your work load has increased and their costs have gone down. Giving you a raise is cheaper than hiring someone new.", "Typically what works is saying you have another offer and you want to stay but the other offer is 20-30% more. \n\nAnd by that I mean don't lie about the offer. Really have one. Companies typically will not pay you what you deserve on the market until they are forced to retain you. ", "This video worked for me got $15 an hour and boss raised it to $25 an hour \n\nhttps://youtu.be/cYKOlHfEgWU", "This is simple..... Just ask.... Of you are indispensable you'll get it.... Of boot you're an idiot and need to stfu and do your job.", "This doesn't answer the question, but when you are interviewing for the next role up in your company or even moving laterally, you won't be paid what you're worth - you'll be paid how much you ask for.\n\nThis tidbit applies for when you're changing roles, but keep in mind if they want you to move to another position or move up a tier, you are in the position of power and can request more pay, they are unlikely to rescind the offer if your request is even halfway reasonable. Just be prepared for the counter and the subsequent race to the middle.", "There's an easy way to work this in your favor. Complete your college/certifications etc. If you don't already have one, setup a profile on LinkedIn. Go online for tips to make it look professional. Lastly, do your research. Look at sites like Department of Labor dol.gov The labor department maintains salary information for literally every job. Look at other job postings for similar jobs. \n\nIf you like your current employer then use this information to realistically negotiate a new compensation package. If you're happy then congrats. If not, then start applying elsewhere and network like crazy. Good luck", "So, what about a person who works at retail store and only gets paid hourly and minimum wage? How do you convince them to give you a raise?", "Question in regard to temp arrangements: if I start as a contractor working for a staffing agency, then get hired on full time by the company (which in my case would mean that I did really well), should I negotiate an increase at that point? I mean, the staffing agency is taking salary off the top as part of the agreement anyway, right? Is there a reason I shouldn't be able to get more money at that point?", "Present research that you do online to present the case that a similar job with similar qualifications as yours makes x amount. Job sites like indeed.com and glassdoor provide area specific salaries for general job titles", "Not sure what you are saying? 20-30% is a renegotiation. You are planning to do this twice? This may be easier to do with a large corporation, harder with a smaller company. You need to know what the going rate is for your job in the industry. How much will it cost to replace you? Reason being you really want to be prepared for possible outcomes. If you are significantly underpaid then you should be able to get a raise. Learning stuff... if it expands the things you can do for a company may be useful, otherwise not. College.... are you a part timer that you can go to college? I would not have much expectations there.", "No one gives a fuck about degrees. \n\nSpecifics about value to company. Honestly everyone thinks they are underpaid but my experience is its typically about right for your mpl - admittedly some bosses as dumb as fuck and that inhibits your value, but generally it's about right. ", "My organization is currently hiring people for the same role as me but for 15k more with zero industry experience (transportation and logistics). Us senior sales execs are livid. They're defense is more stringent hiring practices = better candidates = higher pay. The worst part is we have to mentor these people. What the fuck do I do about this?? ", "Make sure they know about a big project you have coming up. Under-promise and over-deliver on that project. After it succeeds with flying colors, ask for the raise and preface it with your success.\n\nAsk for a dollar value relative to what you are currently making and what other people in your position are making. Don't throw out a large percentage value. Simply renegotiate the value of your position.", "It's not going to happen. The only way to get a 20%-30% raise is to either be promoted from ordinary staff into management or to get a job at another company.\n\nAnd you'd better have another job lined up before asking this question because you'll be painting a target on your back. Your boss isn't stupid, they know damn well that if they deny your raise then you're going to look elsewhere. You will be the first head on the chopping block when they decide that layoffs are in order, and they might even decide to be proactive and find someone to replace you so that you are kicked out on their terms instead of your own.", "It helps to have pictures of your boss in a compromising position. A guy I worked with progressed upwards and was given perks and breaks no one else enjoyed. Whenever the Big Boss would give him hell, he would jokingly say something like \"You don't want Marlene (boss's wife) finding out about Florida!\" They would both laugh and things would go on.\n\nThe rest of us thought it was a joke, but later it turns out, pictures did in fact exist.\n", "It depends on the company and the personalities involved. I have had best results by simply asking \"What do I have to do to get a raise?\" I got an immediate raise then more money per hour after I bought some tools. ", "Interesting tips. I suppose they also apply to those of us who work online.\n\nI recently started working as a freelancer, and after two months, I do **MUCH MORE** than what I was hired for. My employer is a very cool guy—he even gave me a bonus after a month of work, however, I'd appreciate a little raise. Problem is, I wasn't sure whether I should wait for him to bring it up or I should take initiative and ask.", "In negotiations, you need leverage. Start looking for a new job, even if you don't intend to take it. Then you can tell your current employer that you're looking to stay with them, and see if they'll give you a retention raise. As long as the raise you want is reasonable, the easiest thing for your boss to do is accept, and they can easily justify it to their boss.", "If you're looking for 20-30 percent, you're going to need to be pretty damn indispensable and ready to walk if you don't get what you want.\n\nStart interviewing elsewhere in the months leading up to the renegotiation. Take some personal time to do it. Have someone you can trust start spreading rumors that you might be looking for work elsewhere. Maintain plausible deniability. If you're important to the operations, this will make them sweat. If they're not sweating, you're not worth it.\n\nYou gotta go into it with the right mindset as well. You're not after more money from your employer. You're graduating college, you're trying to get a life established, and while you're grateful for the opportunity thus far, you're not sure if you can do that with what you're making now.\n\nAnd following that thought, have a dollar amount in mind. Trying to negotiate around a dollar amount comes off as more sincere. Don't be arrogant, and don't try to highball too much. You're already asking for 20-30 percent.\n\nPractice what you're going to say. Get drunk, take notes, bounce things off friends. Have conversations with the people involved in your mind, and practice them out loud. Be humble, but don't kiss ass transparently. They love humility, but they tend to find obvious ass-kissing insulting.\n\nKnow in advance how to frame the conversation. Set the frame. Do not let them change the frame.", "If you need to ask how to ask for a raise I will go ahead and say you don't deserve a raise just yet.", "I'm in the same boat as OP.\rI will add my situation here though I'm not trying to piggyback OPs post.\r\rI got an annual hike of 14% in April. I also got a raise this month of 20%. Effectively I will be taking home 35% extra(I don't pay taxes yet due to paying other things).\r\r\rMy question is- the amount of work I've done and have given to do further on is way way way more than I should be doing. Does this justify explaining why I deserve another hike? Or possibly a promotion?\r\rThru the grapevine I've heard people who haven't done *a thing* have got 10% hikes when I got my 20%. I feel a little let down though I shouldn't. \r\rI work in Investment Research and I'm pulling way way way more weight than I probably should. Maybe im seeing things wrong and I should just be happy\r", "I think the most important thing to recognize is that there is a very good chance that, even if you deserve it, they are not going to give you a 25 or 30% raise.\n\nThe best thing you can do is start applying for other jobs and see what they are able to offer. If you get an offer for a job that you like that is offering you a raise you'd be willing to leave for, then you have some leverage.\n\nOnce you have that offer in hand , call a meeting with your manager and have the conversation everyone has been mentioning: outline your accomplishments , the value you bring, your market value, etc.\n\nIf your employer does not immediately say \"I will talk to my boss and argue for you to get a raise asap\", then wait a couple of days, accept the new job, quit and don't look back.\n\nAs some have said, a lot of companies are completely ok with not paying their top talent as well as they should. When you quit, it is likely that they will make you a counteroffer to stay. Don't take it, because that counteroffer is now stained with the fact that you had to threaten to quit to get it, and it will be held against you.\n\nI literally did this last month. Starting new job on the 26th with a 25% raise and a two position promotion.", "I recently presented my case for a raise and was basically laughed at. I Know they value my work. I know they have the money. They have a reputation for waiting until someone puts in their notice to quit before taking them seriously. Up until now I've willingly put everything I had into my job going above and beyond daily. Now I feel insulted, depressed, and disposable. Sad because there are many aspects of my job that I really enjoy. But not enough to work for less than I'm worth. Btw, I'm a degreed professional and the only one skilled in my particular functional area within the company. It would take 3-6 months for a new hire to get up to speed. ", "I listen to copious hours of podcasts. This is by far the best one I've heard so far. He even goes into the exact words you should use when asking for a raise. They even had a follow-up about someone who did just that and got a substantial ride after listening. \n\nSo I'd say it's worth an hour of time whole your doing some housework to give this show a listen. You can do so from the link directly or whatever podcast app you want.\n\nhttp://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/alex-kouts-art-negotiating-episode-326/", "I just finished a year of school and got a $10/hr raise. I finish my trade certification next year and am on track for another 10/hour after I finish. ", "I finished my degree and asked for a raise. I was doing controls engineering work and had just finished a VERY profitable project and was about to start another that required extended travel out of the country. \n \nI asked for a raise twice and reminded them that I had finished my degree with on change in pay. I got brushed aside and told \"ask again after this project since it will give you more leverage to ask for better pay\" \n \nThey ignored me - so I ditched the new project and got a new job with way better responsibilities and that pays about 50% more. ", "I actually wrote an in-depth LPT on this a year ago. [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/2eoiqv/lpt_how_to_get_a_raise/) it is.", "Here are some things to know. First, it depends on what type of organization you are working in. Smaller companies have more latitude, larger companies have very strict compensation policies. Finance gives each department a budget for salaries. For that level of increase, unless your department is short on staff, it would be hard in the current year to get that amount.\n\nHowever, it can be budgeted in for the following budget year.\n\nHow to request it - once you have completed your degree, you need to put together a business case that states how your degree makes you more valuable or productive in your job. Do some research at salary.com too confirm what you are truly worth. You may be surprised to learn what is fair pay for your job, or you may find justification for a market increase, meaning the market would pay you more for your skills and ability.\n\nMost HR departments have the ability to reclassify a job, based on market rates and enhanced skills. If you put together a good case, start by going to your manager, hopefully they will support your argument. Then the two of you can take this to HR, to show that with your degree, the market would pay you 20 - 30% more for your work.\n\nFinally, if there is no interest in giving you a good increase, you should interview for other jobs. If you really deserve that much more, you may only get it by going elsewhere. Also, sometimes having an offer from another firm will suddenly be the incentive your boss needs to get you more money.\n\nGood luck. Hope that helps.", "Go find another job and come back and tell your current job that you are resigning after receiving another offer and that you love working there but the pay is much better than you currently make. Then wait for them to ask what you need if they want to counter. If they tell you that tell them either 15% more than the new offer or a somewhat better than average amount from the market. \n\nNever ask for a raise without having a backup plan. ", "Find another job that pays higher, and then tell your employer you want to stay at your current job but that the pay is better somewhere else.", "Find a new job, negotiate the pay you want. Then you have leverage at work, and if they say no you have backup. That's how I've always done it. Only thing is.... If you don't kick ass at your job they will just say \"see you later.\" ", "Find a job paying more for the same work. Present as justification of value. If ignored, take higher paying job,", "Don't forget that skiing for a raise needs evidence which you should be collecting and preparing for all the time.\n\nEvery good job you do, every brag you can collect, stash it in an email folder or in your notes.", "Develop an alternative that gets you where you want to be. Start the discussion about needing an increase, before you have the alternative. You are only as good as your next best alternative. Give them the opportunity to get you there, test what the market will bear, be prepared to leave. ", "CEO here. The comments here about explaining your value are on the right track but what's missing is the focus on your importance to the company going forward. Raises are not given for past performance. Raises are given in expectation of future performance at certain levels. What you have accomplished in the past is relevant mostly as a signal for what you can do for the company going forward. A great employee makes the company better, more profitable, more loved by its customers, more innovative, and improves its culture. Focus on how you are improving the company in tangible measurable ways and the rest of the script writes itself. You don't generally need to say \"or I will go someplace else.\"\n\nAlso, for what it is worth, I strongly recommend that when people start jobs they ask their new bosses what it will take for them to earn future salary increases and promotions. This is a great way to find out what your boss cares about. Some bosses are measured on top line sales numbers. Others on net promoter scores. Others by EBITDA (profits). Some care most about you helping them look good. If you know what your boss cares about, you agree up front what good, great, and exceptional performance look like, and you then deliver exceptional performance, you're nearly guaranteed to see your overall compensation increase.", "Be careful taking the advice based on fear of being replaced if you're actually a valuable work resource. \n\nI.e., if you're negotiating after getting a degree in something guaranteed to yield you a good job, don't approach it like some teenager afraid of being replaced as a minimum wage bagger at Target. In the former situation, a negotiation should be more of an amicable chat about finding the middle ground you can both live with.\n\nIf you can't find middle ground, then simply walk away. Go in any other way and you'll lose nine out of ten times due to transference.", "Always helpful to artfully mention any 'dead bodies' like bad business practices or coverups you are a team player on.\n\nI recently asked for a 6 dollar raise and they offered me a 4 dollar raise. I said that is acceptable for now", "Also side note: a raise in salary isn't everything. Perk bonuses from insurance coverage, more vacation days etc. can be just as effective. ", "All that matters is supply and demand of people with your skillset. Not what you think you deserve. Find out what you could make somewhere else and use that for negotiations. \n\nI don't think anyone ever gets a 30% pay raise without changing jobs (outside of the company.)\n\nWhen I was younger my boss told me I was doing really well and acknowledged that I was earning less than my peers but out performing them. He asked me to be patient and said he would fix it. I got their maximum 10% raise for three years in a row.", "A couple things to remember as you negotiate:\n\n* Know what you are worth. If the employer had to replace you, would it be easy or difficult? If you needed to go somewhere else, what kind of compensation could you get there? Could you get a new job lined up easily? Which plays into:\n\n* Have nothing to lose. As long as you can make a drastic move if you have to, you are not beholden to your employer, and can negotiate. If you need the job and have no alternatives, you're in a bad negotiating position. Same as if you were buying a house or a car, you have to always be prepared to walk away. \n\n* Remember: the negotiation is your employer vs. the market. It should always be a matter of what you can get elsewhere, it has nothing to do with what you want or need. Don't attempt to justify by talking about how you can't make ends meet, or how you have a baby on the way. It's all about what you are worth to other employers. \"Hey boss, I'm wondering if we could do a bit of a market rate adjustment on my compensation, seems we're a bit on the low end.\" Be prepared to show evidence of this. glassdoor.com, friends, and best of all: other offers.", "A 30% raise in this economy? You are going to have to play hardball kid. First you threaten your boss with blackmail. Maybe some nudie photos of him with a hooker, I dunno. Be creative. If that don't work, resort to racketeering. Tell Vinny to bring a baseball bat and meetup at your bosses house. Show up and say something along the lines of, \"We aren't going to be having some problems right?\"", "20% or 30% is most certainly not going to happen. These types of pay increases generally follow switching jobs/companies.", "*etc. If you are putting in anything in writing to your boss, especially if it has to do with asking for more money please for the love of God spell check it first. Even if it's the email heading. This is a massive black mark for something that can be simply checked and rectified. ", "* Figure out when your last raise was\n* Write down significant contributions you have made since that some. Bonus points if you know how much they saved or made the company. \n* List the new qualifications that you have and why they benefit the team, department and/or company.\n* Do your research and know how much you are worth\n* Spend time thinking about how else you want your role to change now that you have these qualifications or experiences\n* Speak to your boss to request a meeting about your role and responsibilities now that you have a new qualification.\n\nIn the meeting, tell him what you have done since your last increase. But don't phrase it in a way that sounds like, \"I have done this, give me more\". Now that you have more experience and qualifications, show your boss that you want to put this into action in your role. That doesn't have to equate to a promotion and can be different responsibilities inside of the existing role.\n\nPart of the meeting is about what you have done, and part needs to be about you want to do next.\n\nYou request will be viewed far more favourably if your boss knows what they will get from this.\n \nWondering if my staff will read this ...", "You should ask a hostage negotiator http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/04/ask-a-hostage-negotiator-whats-the-best-way-to-talk-about-a-raise/391943/", "What you have to do is be able to prove that you are consistently working \"above your pay grade\" that you want it or have 14 hungry children to feed holds no water with your boss. Not that they don't care, they might even feel sorry for your struggle, but they have to justify the raise to their boss. \n\nAs for certification, you might actually want to talk this over with your boss before hand. Is the certification of any use to the company and is it transferable to another company that would hire you if your current employer declines or is unable to give you the raise. ", "I would actually like an answer for this both applying to salary and base wage jobs as it tends to be different ", "Ask for a specific amount. For example, $65,783. It will make it seem like you came to a reasoned calculation. ", "As someone who has done this... You need ammunition. Make yourself priceless to the company. Buff up your resume. Find an offer somewhere else. Come back and make them counter offer, or leave. Timing also influences how much you can get, budgets, company changes, people leaving, big projects.. You don't get a 30% raise by \"asking\", you need to move around and get offers. Be aggressive, be the offender. Don't be afraid to leave or make truth of your own bluffs.", "20 to 30‰ raise?. Yeah good luck with that. That's not realistic and that's quite naive for you to think that's reasonable. (inb4 personal anecdote). \n\nRealisticly, the only leverage you have for a raise is what the industry standard pays in your are plus how much the cost of living has raised since you got the job. Walking into your boss's office and expecting to have any words or any documentation that can result in you getting a 30‰ raise is absourd. \n\nFocus on getting that degree first and being a good, productive employee. Then you can focus on asking for a realistic raise. Expect a realistic raise to be between 3 and 8 percent. \n\nTrust me, you're just a kid growing up. It gonna be a long long time before you're in any sort of upper level management where you are in charge of major operations and a large amount of employees to justify asking for a 20 to 30‰ raise. ", "1) PBS Newshour has a great blog that answered this very question and many others like it called [**Ask the Headhunter**](http://www.pbs.org/newshour/making-sense/ask-headhunter-ask-higher-job-offer/)\n\n2) **Competition is the best motivator**. Apply to a competitor, make the case for a better salary (see blog above). If you really like your current employer, offer to stay if they beat it. \n\n\n3) As others (check out /r/jobs for example) have pointed out, its important to realize that even the best managers and **businesses aren't looking for reasons to give you a significant raise**. ", "I'm pretty young, so I still don't understand how asking for a raise could ever work. You're already working for the employer. If you say you'll work harder for more money, then you're admitting that you're not doing your best. That will make the employer value you less. How could the employer ever think they're gaining something from paying you more, rather than telling you to do your best or be fired?" ]

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[ "How to get over an ex that ghosted you? My ex is my coworker and she abruptly broke up with me via texting and she cut me off of her life. She told me we should remain friends because we've had many setbacks then ignored my texts for a week then blatanly lied to me, saying she hadn't replied because she had had a massive cold during the weekend.\n\nAfter many months of doubting myself, I accepted I wasn't the one at fault. However, she was recently moved to a nearby department, so I see her every single day and it's driving me crazy. She never apologized for being so disrespectful and acts like nothing happened. I don't talk to her and try to act like she doesn't exist.\n\nI don't feel sad that she broke up with me. I feel angry because she didn't have the guts to do it in person and gave me a bullshit reason to do so.\n\nIt's gotten to the point where I feel uneasy or on edge just by hearing her voice. I need to get over her and move on.\n\nPlease help.", "How to get over an ex that ghosted you? My ex is my coworker and she abruptly broke up with me via texting and she cut me off of her life. She told me we should remain friends because we've had many setbacks then ignored my texts for a week then blatanly lied to me, saying she hadn't replied because she had had a massive cold during the weekend.\n\nAfter many months of doubting myself, I accepted I wasn't the one at fault. However, she was recently moved to a nearby department, so I see her every single day and it's driving me crazy. She never apologized for being so disrespectful and acts like nothing happened. I don't talk to her and try to act like she doesn't exist.\n\nI don't feel sad that she broke up with me. I feel angry because she didn't have the guts to do it in person and gave me a bullshit reason to do so.\n\nIt's gotten to the point where I feel uneasy or on edge just by hearing her voice. I need to get over her and move on.\n\nPlease help." ]

[ "This is one of the many drawbacks of getting sexually involved with coworkers: it can become awkward, and if the relationship goes south, then it *really* can become awkward.\n\nMy advice is just to try to forget about it. I was in a very similar situation myself a few years ago: I got involved with this gorgeous coworker of mine who ended up breaking things off with me, and work because incredibly awkward after that. Plain and simple, it just took time for me to get comfortable around her. After a few months or so, things were back to normal as far as the workplace went and as far as my comfort level around her went.\n\nIMO, that whole \"I want to stay friends\" line is a bunch of dog shit, but I understand why people say it. In my experience, when sexual relationships end, the person and I don't remain friends; we go our separate ways.\n\nTry to stay confident. Be sure to exercise regularly, as that's always a big confidence booster. Go get drunk with your friends and get laid. Getting laid after a break-up is a guaranteed way to start feeling better about yourself.\n\nTry not to overthink being around her. Just try to view her as another coworker that you're there to do a job with, plain and simple.\n\nHope this helped. Feel free to ask me more questions if you'd like.", "As someone who has gone through this before, this will definitely not get any easier in a short term (it took me 6 months), but I'm hoping an understanding of why you're feeling this way might help with the transition.\n\nTo begin with, what you're going through is perfectly normal, and is due to our psychological need to have closure after a traumatic event. At this point, the ambiguity of the situation is probably why you're feeling on edge, and until you can get some answers, or somehow accept that you're probably not going to get any, you wouldn't be able to feel better.\n\nAlso, the reason for your ex avoiding closure in the first place is probably because she would face some negative consequence by tying up the loose ends, so this break up is most likely not your fault. In addition, you might want to consider that being someone who hates ambiguity, you may not have gotten along with this avoidance-type behavior in the long run as well.\n\nSome Strategies to help ease your transition:\nSubtly seek answers to related questions from mutual friends pertaining to your ex's decision. \nWrite a formal breakup letter detailing your emotions as it will help you feel much better and move on. You can decide whether or not to give her the letter in the future.\nEventually you might want to work on forgiving her rash decision as well, as getting rid of any leftover emotional baggage is a good way to move on\n\nI wish you the best, and do consider the tips from ThinkingPrimate2 as well. Exercise is a good way and healthy way to vent and take the mind off things :)\n\nFor further reading, you might go to\nhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closure_(psychology)\n\nRegards" ]

[ 2, 2 ]

[ "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**", "How to be less emotional (i.e. tearful) when frustrated or upset I am a woman in my mid-twenties. All of the women in my family are like this - when we are sad, angry, or frustrated, a shaky voice and tears are almost immediate responses. \n\nI have gotten better over the years - for example, I can have serious conversations about my struggles with a mentally ill family member with friends or SOs without crying, which used to be impossible. And crying when I'm downright sad is more understandable (and socially acceptable). But, as soon as I become frustrated or angry, like in an argument or confrontation with someone, it's as if these feelings manifest in tears rather than an ability to clearly and rationally articulate what it is I'm trying to say. And this is what I want to change.\n\nI've noticed this lately in some tough conversations with my SO. I want to be able to just explain how I feel without getting emotional, but it's really difficult for me. Being vulnerable in that moment, the reality that what I have to say might be hard for them to hear, and my own feelings of hurt contribute to the emotional-ness, I think. But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. My SO immediately gets defensive when I start to cry, even though I try to assure them (and they know!) that crying doesn't necessarily mean that I'm more upset or hurt than usual since I cry frequently, and sometimes with very little understanding of why myself. \n\n**TL;DR - I hate that I immediately get a wavering voice and start crying whenever I'm frustrated or angry. It makes it difficult for me to articulate my feelings, it makes it harder for people to take me seriously, and it puts people on the defensive, making it difficult for them to receive whatever message it is I'm trying to get across. Any tips!?**\n\n**" ]

[ "Actor here. You're clenching. Basically you're creating an unending loop of the emotion you're trying not to have. Sort of like saying, \"don't think of pink elephants.\" You create the problem you're trying to stop. There are acting exercises to teach people to do this so they can sustain an emotion over a scene.\n\n I would make a few bets based on how you describe this. One I would bet it comes out of frustration most of the time more than direct anger. I would also bet that it happens when it is so important to get out your point and you feel you are not getting heard. \n\nHow to stop it:\n\nIt has a physical trigger. So rather than smothering the impulse the next couple times just pay attention to it. Do you clench your teeth? Do you wring your hands? Do you tense your abs? Find out what your physical trigger is and do something else. \n\nThe emotional trigger. Make sure your partner is heard and then make your statement/question. \"You said this and this and I hear you, but when you do this and this it makes me feel like this and I would appreciate it if you would do this instead\" if you go in with this framework for everything it will go a long way towards clearing up the \"everything at once\" thing your brain is doing. Hope it helps. \n\n", "Don't worry, I used to do this all the time too. By the time you're in your 30s you'll be too dead inside and disillusioned with the world to cry at all. \n \n(actually I haven't fully mastered it yet, but I have noted that breathing helps). ", "Hi! I read this tip on another thread a few months ago: when you're in the heat of the moment, try to emulate your favourite badass character, like Darth Vader for example. The more you focus on playing that role (calm, cool, collected) it will distract you from breaking down. Hope this helps!", "I suffered the same exact problem as you do, OP. The women of my family have the same issue. My psychiatrist helped me to realize the difference between anguish, helpless emotions and strong, righteous ones. For example, if you saw a person being kicked out of a wheelchair by a bully, would you run over to the bully and cry anguish tears or would you scream at the bully for the indignation you feel for the wheelchair victim? See the difference? \n\nMy psychiatrist helped me realize that when I break down into tears from my emotions (whether they be anger, frustration, sadness, etc), it's actually a sign of weakness stemming from the fact that we don't feel righteous about our emotion. We feel guilty, wrong, or feeble about our emotion and thus we cry because we lack the righteous conviction for our feelings. This may be due to a plethora of different reasons but the fact is, until you are comfortable in feeling 100% right about your emotion (anger, sadness, etc), you're going to always collapse into tears. You have to find out why you're not allowing yourself to feel that righteous conviction of emotions for yourself, the way you would for another person if they were being bullied or mistreated badly by a mean person. \n\nI hope this helps. I'm still working on this as well, best of luck to you!", "Understand what's happening. Your body is having a fight or flight experience. It's stronger in some than others. Recognize what's happening and understand this natural physiologically. Being aware of the trap is the first step to defeating it. Something that really helped me was arguing with Internet strangers to be honest. Getting desensitized to conflict helped me to stay calm and focused when conflict arose in real life. Practice, awareness and age should all be helpful in calming down a bit. :D", "One of the things that helped me when dealing with some major issues in my life is to have a time and a place for tears. I had to go to court a few times to protest things that were done to me by abusive idiots in my life. I refused to give them the benefit of seeing me cry. Instead of breaking down in the courtroom, I just repeated to myself, \"You get to cry on the ride home. You get to cry on the ride home. You get to cry on the ride home.\" \n\nIf it happens in the middle of a confrontation, like your situation, then remove yourself from the confrontation until you feel like you are able to proceed with the conversation with less emotion. When you're too riled up, it'll stop you from being able to effectively communicate as well. Call it a court recess. Come back to the table when you're ready.", "This is me. Reading this was like reading my own mind! When I saw the title I was desperately hoping it was someone offering advice on how they've conquered the shaky voice, immediate freaking out that happens when you get angry or upset or worried or anything! I can't even sit in front of a doctor or talk to my boss at work about personal things without welling up. I HATE it because it doesn't reflect what's going on inside, what I really want to say, it just makes me look like I can't handle myself and I just resort to tears to deal with any situation. \n\nI have, like you, also gotten better over the years, and working in a ridiculously stressful management consultancy in London taught me a lot (where I cried at the pressure on a regular basis, and this therefore damaged my reputation and 'image' (bullshit I know)), so I'll try and give you my 2 cents in the hope it helps because I know exactly how you feel. \n\nI have gotten better by basically forcing myself to think about crying when i feel it coming on. I figured out that the more I worry about crying and try to tell myself NOT to cry, the quicker it came on and the worse it was. So now, before I even go into a situation where I think it might happen, or when I feel the situation changing (like an argument that you could never predict) I literally talk to myself and say things like 'what is it that's making you feel like you're gonna cry' and 'this is nothing, it's not life & death so there's no need to stress about it' and 'be calm and you'll articulate yourself better'. I take massive deep breaths and let that horrid throat tightening feeling come - basically accept it, breathe through it, almost step outside it and I've found (not on every occasion but definitely some) that if you face it you are more likely to overcome it. It's like you take yourself to the edge of bursting into tears, then when you're there, you take a huge breath and remind yourself that everything's fine, and the feeling seems to subside. \n\nIt's not perfect, and I'm still mega emotional on millions of occasions, but it has really helped me on certain occasions. And when you make a little victory, you feel like doing a victory dance there and then on the spot. Which makes you more confident doing it the second time around. It's mad but I hope it helps :)", "Whenever I feel myself tearing up I say the names and colors of things around me in my head (eg \"blue couch...yellow pillow...\"). It sounds SO WEIRD but it stops me from crying every single time ", "I have the same problem. I find that tears are anger trying to find it's way out of me. It's the suppression of anger that causes the tears. Once I started allowing the anger to flow forth, rather than trying to suppress it, I felt much better, and my point gets across more effectively. I was holding in the emotions, trying not to scream and flip out. Now, I just scream and flip out. I feel great.", "It wears off with age. At work you learn to be assertive and dispassionate. As a parent you will learn to be dominant, aloof and patronizing. And as the thrill of 'love' becomes tempered by arguments, loss of trust, disillusion your relationships will become just another negotiation.\n\n\nCurrently your feelings are too raw, it all seems so overwhelming, every discussion is so 'important'. So I'd say live this passion rollercoaster highs AND lows as dramatically as you want. Don't be afraid to cry or shout. It's who you are. Passion is life. Passion is human. (Spock wished he could be more human, only nerds wish they could be more dispassionate). So until age makes you hard bitter and cynical, revel in how crazy love makes you feel. Let it out. Communicate with your feelings, not just words. Laugh, cry, shout. Push through the hesitation as if jumping off a cliff and fly with the emotion instead of standing on the edge in fear. If you do this you will be able to control it more. Bottling it up is just making it less controllable when it does flood out.\n\n\nAlso have a position. A goal, an end state. And know what you are willing to give up and trade. All communication is compromise and negotiation. Know that you have power and don't be afraid to win by any means at your disposal. So crying makes him love you more? Does it actually prove your depth of feeling that they should acknowledge? Yes! So use it. You are an emotional being.", "I have the same problem. I've tried to dissect it a million times, try to figure out just *why* it happens like this, and I think part of it is that, in the moment, it all seems so overwhelmingly important. As in all of my energy is now going directly into one conversation and one train of thought and there are no distractions - it's very daunting. Something that has helped me when I'm in the thick of it and I feel that lump in my throat, may sound odd, but I tell myself \"In a year this won't even be a memory\" or \"In 100 years we'll all be dead and this won't matter.\" I know it can seem a little grim, but the thought behind it is to take the power out of the moment and wrap my head around the fact that whatever is causing my emotional reaction isn't the biggest or the baddest thing, it's just the loudest.", "Rehearse! Ask a friend to help, switching sides every so often, until you can say it without crying. That's assuming you know what you need to say and fear what the SO might say in response.", "When reading tips here keep in mind that some people have NO CLUE what you are talking about. They think about their ways of coping with sadness. But they simply lack what you describe. They assume that what you describe is like them crying. It is not. \n\nIn general crying is seen as an expression of extreme sadness. Which is true for some people. But not for others. \n\nIn German the expression is that 'somebody is built close to the water'. \n", "Me and my mother both suffer from the same sort of thing. We both find that stopping for a second to do some simple math in our heads helps a lot. Any sort of mindful thinking is useful in situations like this!", "I would recommend you to try out m", "Hello, i recommend the book The Dance of Anger. It is a book that provides techniques to break communication habits that aren't working. It has scenarios in the book very similar to what you describe in your post, and a technique to break the pattern. \n\nAdditionally, as a mid twenties female myself, I have found that reducing my coffee intake has decreased my emotional outbursts. If you are someone who drinks coffee, perhaps try switching to black tea for a while. \n\nGood luck and good for you for working on improving yourself!!", "I am an early 20s guy and I just got over this (for the most part). This might sound like a cop out but it helped me start to get over it. I just told whoever I was talking to to give me a second and think. That's exactly what I did. Every time so far the listener has been patient enough to sit through my short silence while i collect coherent thought. Then I speak slowly and intentionally to allow logic to prevail over my impulses. This was instrumental to having serious talks with my girlfriend early on and has helped tremendously in other areas of life. In time my pauses have become unnecessary. Good luck!", "I have the same issue. I also tend to cry from time to time with, what feels like, essentially no reason, and then I get even more upset simply because I know I'm crying or about to cry. It's even worse when your brain is saying, \"Why are you crying? There's literally nothing about this you should cry over,\" but your body is completely uncooperative. \n\nThe only thing that's actually helped me is to ask myself, \"What would Olivia Benson do?\" Law and Order: SVU has helped me with a lot of mindfulness thought-processing. \n\nBatman doesn't have shit on Detective Olivia Benson.", "You just need to change your perspective on things. When getting to that point where it all falls apart you need to stop talking for a minute, take a breath, collect yourself. And then attempt to rationalize to yourself why you are becoming emotional over something, and what benefit it grants you. For me compartmentalization works fantastically for handling those encounters. ", "I used to have the same problem when I was younger and on into my teenage years. The best thing I can say to do is to keep your eyes open and breathe long and deep. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Compose yourself as long as possible and with enough practice it will become second nature. \n\nI used to remember the looks on everyone's faces when I would get overly emotional. I hated feeling either what felt like their pity or their disappointment from not being able to handle things. \n\nTry to remember that your feelings are valid, but there are other ways to gain people's empathy than being visibly distraught. \n\n", "Look into Dialectical Behavior Therapy - you can buy a workbook on Amazon that lets you start without having to see a therapist. It's not analytical - it's a set of concrete tactics you can apply when you get triggered.", "I saw a tip on Reddit a while back to imagine that you're Batman. Or Darth Vader or whichever character you feel has a confident persona. Personally I do Gandalf, or Aragorn.\n\nFuck I'm a nerd...", "Find a job or situation where you have to put up with a lot of stupid shit. I recommend customer service or some sectors of legal work. This will destroy your faith in the human race, which naturally then stops you giving even half a fuck when things go sideways. It worked for me!*\n\n*this solution comes packaged with a new suite of emotional problems AT NO EXTRA COST TO YOU!", "Stop, evaluate the facts of the situation, identify the emotional trigger, disassociate from the trigger. Revisit the situation.\n\nEmulate Spock. Become one with the Spock. You are Spock.", "If you want you can practice all of the advice that people have said on here, just please don't feel that crying or anger is a negative in all situations. You might end up distancing yourself from your emotions which is not a good thing to be accustomed to. (also, my tips for avoiding this type of situation in the first place: you don't always have to win, before complaining take a second to get some perspective, surround yourself with only positive people, if you feel that someone isn't taking you seriously you shouldn't take them seriously either and before accepting or giving an argument on something serious, take a second to imagine the argument the other way around, then choose what to say). \n\n", "I'm a 35 year old male and do exactly this. Mid 20's females can get away with it. Mid 30's males can't.", "reading through this thread, maybe try a couple of things:\n\n1. excuse yourself using a practiced and standard line: i'm getting more emotional than i want to about this, so i need to go cool off for 10 minutes\n\n2. during that 10 minutes, cool off and think about what you are going to say, feel, think, do\n\n3. come back and continue\n\nat least the ppl you talk to often (SO) will appreciate and recognize that you are making an effort.", "i didnt wanna admit this but im 29,male and have this exact problem as well....thanks for posting this, all the responses have helped a lot", "Wow, thank god a tip like this came up today. I have to tell my dad it's okay to let go and pass away and I've been prancing around because I get teary-eyed even thinking about it. Going to use these tips. Thanks reddit", "There is a school of philosophy called Stoicism that is all about controlling your emotions and not letting them control you. Some the more famous Stoic Philosophers include Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emporer, Plato, and Cicero, the Roman statesman.\n\nI have successfully used Stoicism to combat my anger issues and depression.", "I do the same thing and I'm a dude. Shit sucks. Exactly how you described it, but it can be about anything, not necessarily emotional. If I have to talk in front of more than like..5 people, this happens. Shaky, wavering voice, and people always ask if I'm okay. I purposely put myself in public speaking situations to try and get rid of it, but the same thing happens every time. I don't feel nervous, but my body exhibits the symptoms of anxiety, and I feel like it's completely out of my control. I don't usually cry, but sometimes I can tear up, and sometimes I tear up for really odd reasons. You're not alone.", "Hey Cochon, (love your nickname btw)\nHad the same problem, and you had already plenty a very good advices. Just want to bring another aspect on this emotional flow you're having every time you have to speak up.\n\nAs a woman, we tend to avoid conflicts and be really scared of the reaction from your listener. You are basically already reacting in a possibility that your listener will maybe going to mock you, yell at you or be sad from your talk. You probably care so much about the feelings of your listener and the way they will perceive you if you speak up, that you are already tensing up and crying.\nI noticed the same in my way to interact with people. I've got shaken up every time I have to speak up or say something delicate.\n\nI'm 28 yo, and I'm just starting to control it. You have to realize that nobody is going to hurt you and that you are not hurting someone with your words when you are simply disapproving or saying something sad. I stopped trying to go in other people heads and try to over analyze every word I say. You need to find confidence and trust in your words. What you have to say count and your listener is not judging you.\n\nIf you are this type of kind hearted women, very quiet and need to say something that can bring emotions to others, don't be afraid. You will still be a kind person even if you stir strong emotions on others. I think you are also someone who gets frustrated a lot and get angry only where there is no other way to solve a situation. I don't think you are emotional, I think in contrary you don't show enough and it just overflows when you stress out, which makes you more guilty and frustrated and try to hide it more.\n\nAnyway, be assertive, be confident, be angry and speak up, it helped me a lot to handle the small talks when you are able to express the strong emotions\n\n", "Well let me just say that I feel your pain. By the sounds of things you're just like me and you have everything sorted out in your head but your body is just like LET'S CRY NOW!\n\nI am still not perfect, but I've come a long way in dealing with it.\n\nSo to start, is there anything going on with your body that could be contributing? Sleep, diet, sunlight and lady hormones all affect my mood and my ability to be calm. Have you always felt this way? I've had issues communicating when upset/stressed my entire life but certain types of birth control made it worse. I use an IUD now and for me it has made a difference.\n\nI've spent a LOT of time struggling (my entire life, to be honest) to get it under control and the years of internal reflection, and talking it out with very patient boyfriends has also been a large factor. If your family and SO have been unable to help you process things, do you have friends or a medical professional you can speak to? \n\nWhat articulated the process best for me was something called [Dialectical Behavior Therapy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy). (Which I came across through an article about weightlifting so... huzzah internet.) Just like we learn how to do math, there are specific techniques we can learn to help regulate our emotions and navigate emotional situations. The main thing I took away from my readings was the concept of a \"teflon mind\" - you work at observing the feelings you are experiencing, accepting them, and then letting them pass. \n\nIt's not instant or straightforward by any means, but it's definitely a worthwhile process and I hope that it will help you as it has me :)", "Try being a male in his early twenties with this same problem thanks for posting this. I don't think I could've worded this right ", "Speaking from experience with having to stay calm through adrenaline dumps in violent/emergency situations, breathing exercises/control helps immensely. In 3 controlled (do a count for inhale/hold/and exhale) I'm almost always able to deal with a situation calmly and rationally. Sometimes it may take a few more. \n\nPractice breathing exercises, with the goal of focusing all your thoughts on the act/sensation of breathing. When you find yourself getting emotional or panicky, getting your thoughts to halt their emotional spiral and focus on a single thing is like taking a chalkboard covered in a giant complex math equation, wiping it clean and starting with only step one of the problem.\n\nI usually use 5/5/5, that's inhale for a 5 count, hold for 5, exhale for 5. By the third exhale I'm calm and in control of my thoughts.\n\nThe hardest part is learning to catch/remind yourself to do the breathing exercise when you start getting upset. Practice regularly when you're calm and practice using it to deal with small upsets to build it as an almost unconscious reaction to your thoughts/emotions slipping.\n\nEven without practice or measured breathing, taking deep and steady (not hyperventilating) breathes is proven to calm, relax, and help think more clearly.", "My best quick tip for in the moment when you start to feel yourself well up: \n\nScan the room and describe the things you see to yourself (in your head). It sounds a little kooky, but I swear it works! Use as many descriptive words as you can, eg. \"Butter-yellow wall with light grey metal vent held on by two screws\" or \"acoustic ceiling tiles separated by ivory coloured metal brackets. Third one from the corner has a dusty speaker partially embedded in it\".\n\nI was told that this works by engaging a different, less emotional part of the brain that can pull you away from the treaty frustration for a minute. I don't know if that is true, but this works for me! You can just look like you're taking a breath or listening but have this commentary running in your head when you need it.", "It's actually okay, kinda cute actually like Bunny in Zootopia when apologising to Fox (she was crying and all, but stick to her points).\n\nMaybe accepting and understanding the emotional reaction you have will make you calmer, instead of being embarassed by it.", "Im not sure if this will work in your particular case, but box breathing helps me calm down whenever i get heated. Basically create a square of time with your breathing. Inhale slowly for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale slowly for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds. Repeat until calm. Im typically a pretty cool customer and i almost never have your exact reaction to a stressful situation, but my heart races when i get especially angry or nervous and the box breathing helps every time. I learned it as a calming technique from a navy seal who said they use it to slow and control their heart rates during training and missions. Its imperative for them to be able to control emotions in wartime.", "If I missed this already being said my bad, but if you're on birth control, maybe switch to a different one? Don't remember the name but one of the few that I've been on made me a hot mess, no matter what. Cried at puppies howling, soldiers videos, elderly eating alone at my job.... It was horrible. ", "I've had a few embarrassing incidents at work where I've cried when angry, frustrated or upset. It was baffling; I wasn't sad, so why was I reacting this way? I finally figured out that it tended to correlate with lack of sleep. When Im sleep deprived, I'm much more likely to react to something by crying. So get your sleep! :-)", "I'm the same, but I'm a man! I bearded, baritone voiced man and I'm a mess during crucial conversations unless I apply special effort and strategy. I asked a similar question on a thread and got 3 useful replies (from women):\n\nu/shakatay29:\n\"I cry almost every time I need to have a tough talk with my boyfriend (10 years together, not married...yet!). Things that do not help me are: visualizing said talk, running through every answer he can give me, having full blown arguments in my head before he even knows I want to talk. I have a bit of anxiety and quite the imagination. Things that do help: writing down bullet points, holding my cat, deep breathing, talking to a friend about what I want to say ONLY, and sleeping on it for a night. I don't know if any of these would work for you, but I'm an emotional, empathetic mess sometimes and having something concrete to look at helps keep me grounded. And I usually still cry, but not immediately!\"\n\nand u/ohkatey:\n\"In another thread in this sub a while back, someone suggested thinking of a famous person (fictional or non) who is very stoic or icy (depending on what is appropriate) and emulating them. An example: Claire and Frank Underwood. I actually tried emulating Claire during a difficult conversation with my boss a couple weeks ago and it was a successful strategy for me!\"\n\nand u/p_iynx:\n\"I have this problem (as a woman, though) and I've found that keeping my voice very steady and approaching things with a business-like attitude helps the most. When I feel tears welling up, I take a second, do some deep breathing, and continue. I also tell people \"I can't control my tear ducts, but please understand that I'm calm and in control of my emotions.\" Lists help, and basically divorcing my emotions from my body/the situation if need be.\nAfterwards though, I think it's important to let those feelings out. It's the difference between bottling them up (which makes it worse in the long run) and just delaying the emotional aspect until a better time. Journaling before and after helps. Also check out Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. There are work books, but I recommend a therapist who specializes in it, or finding a class/workshop in your area. CBT teaches very important skills that help you manage your emotions in a healthy way. :)\nGood luck with everything! And lots of love!\"", "I used to have similar symptoms along with pretty severe anxiety. Well, I say \"used to\" Like it's stopped and isn't just part of who I am. But what helps me maintain composure is just a little old world knowledge. It's cr", "I know you have a thousand comments- but just maybe you will see mine here. Well, I was becoming the big boss when I ran a restaurant at one time. I had to get people's respect, and the kitchen guys did NOT like having a female as a boss as they were from a culture where that didn't usually happen. But, like you, every time I got frustrated or angry, I cried. Of course this undermined my authority. Drove me nuts. \n\n\nWell, I was also doing a little cognitive behavior therapy, not a full on course, but a few classes. They suggested that if your emotions start to overwhelm you, try to change your body temperature. Like, wrap yourself in a warm blanket from the dryer or take a cool shower. The next time I started tearing up at work when upset I thought of that (but thought, oh shit! Can't do any of those..) so I decided to step into the bathroom and get as much cold water into my hands and arms and neck. This instantly calmed me enough to go out and say what I needed and even though I no longer work in restaurants, I use it in life all the time. You may think, well, of course you're calming down, you're taking a time out. Nope, I would just think about it before on my time out, get more mad, and cry more. It was the shock of the cold. \n\n\nI will always have a lot of emotion- it's a part of who I am and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I just use that as a trick for times when I also need to be taken seriously. Maybe it will help you, maybe not. But I just figured you could try. \n\n\nTl;Dr- same exact prob. Doctor told me to change my body temp. Didn't have time so would just run really cold water on my hands, arms, neck and face (if I was wearing no makeup.) Worked like a charm. ", "I have to say one more thing. I work in the school system and have a spouse, so I understand the immediacy of difficult conversations. But as I have gotten older, I understand also that 1) resolution can be more than a one conversation situation and 2) sometimes I need space and time even within the conversation. My spouse and I have worked on \"breathers\" because he shuts down when I cry and I hate yelling. So I do small things like close my eyes, take deep breaths, count to 10, etc WITHIN the conversation and we just pause until I collect myself and I am ready to go again. Sometimes I leave the room when I feel myself getting too emotional. I regroup, think about what is most necessary, what is the most essential concept I am trying to get across, and then I try to work from there. \n\nIn my job, I try to keep key concepts in the front of my mind. I have been yelled at, cussed at, told I was incompetent (all in front of kids) because the parent is feeling frustrated. So, I try to keep key concepts like, \"I love kids\" and \"Parents love kids\" and \"When people love their kids they do what they think is best\" and I try to work from that angle. It allows me to separate, just a little, from what is being said to what is being conveyed. This space, usually, allows me to professionally deal with the situation, \"I like Justin. He's a great kid, he's funny, he's doing great in his math class. However, today he punched someone in the face and we just need to figure out why and how we can prevent this from happening again.\" Especially in high emotional situations where I might tear up or look scared, etc. \n\nAn emotion does not define you or the moment. You may not be able to prevent emotions (although, I do believe you can work towards changing perceptions so that emotional triggers change) but you can change the responses to emotions. I tell my kids, just because you feel mad doesn't mean you have to yell. You make those choices be being analytical and then intentional. ", "I have the same types of issues and I struggle with them every day. Everything I feel and perceive seems amplified by 2x or 3x (which I've dubbed the 3x disease lol). I take medicine, go to therapy and have done so for over a decade. I think what I've found to be most effective for me in dealing with issues like this is to understand why I feel the way that I do. Once I identify that, it becomes easier to deal with.\n\nI think that our 'generation' (I recently turned 30) was inundated by messages that instill fear of failure. Failure is good; you learn from it and become less prone to make the same mistake. In my case, it was school and my parents (and I'm sure I/my brain didn't help) inadvertently created this dichotomy where I could succeed and still feel like I failed and if I failed, I just beat myself up more. I'm not sure how common this is, but it became something I had to overcome.\n\nThe reason I say that is because maybe there are things like that in your life that affect your initial reaction to things. You are asking for advice and that's a great step. I think that if you try to remember that you can become emotional, you can at least exert some influence over how you react. Also, a tip that I use constantly is to ask the other person if I could have a bit of time to process things. Once the subject matter is 'digested' it becomes much easier to predict how you'll react. \n\nYou should be happy with yourself that you reached out; some times people don't even get that far. Hang in there, keep trying and everything will work out.", "I don't want to sound trite, but here's a suggestion from Daniel Tiger (inspired by Mr. Rogers). \n\n\"When you feel so mad that you want to roar, \ntake a deep breath and count to four\" \n\nIt's supposed to be a lesson for parents as well as kids (In-show, the one of the parents does it themselves when Daniel Tiger makes an outstanding mess in the house). And it's literally taught so that everyone can calm down emotionally enough to be able to cleanly express their feelings.", "Also reading a lot of replies on here that talk about defence mechanisms and not feeling like you're allowed to have the feelings you are having are so true. I have also found my emotions so much more in control after ending the second of what were two very oppressive relationships. I once threw a China bowl into a wall in an argument with my last partner and it broke me because I'd never felt frustration like it and never done anything like that in my life. \n\nNow that I'm out of that, and out of stressful situations at work, I feel like I've conquered some massive shit times in life and therefore feel so much more equipped to deal with that kind of situation. So the posts about experience and it coming with age are so true as well. Whatever's going on, it's temporary, you WILL be through it so soon, and once it is over, it'll have built you up to be so much stronger as a result. Just got to keep your hands in your pockets and carry on :)", "A few have mentioned it, but learn to accept your emotions. The darker, or negative emotions aren't actually negative at all. We were given them for a reason. Emotions might not seem rational, but when you can accept your emotion, understand what triggers it, and understand why that trigger exist, you can see the rational behind the emotion and you can begin to learn how to control it.\n\nThis is how I think about emotions, they are really good at telling us when something is or might be wrong, however they are crappy at telling us the most appropriate reaction.\n\nSo while you might want to react by crying, learn how to refocus that emotion. It is hard because you feel vulnerable, but your vulnerabilities can be your greatest strength. \n\nFor example, I have bipolar disorder, so I know how difficult of a challenge it is. When I hear people speak unkindly about mental illness in general, it saddens me, frustrates me, angers me, and enrages me. I don't let this break me down though. When I have the opportunity to bring awareness about these issues, I do.\n\nOr when I have to deal with a angry or upset customer, while I might want to be angry right back at them, I think of what they might be going through, and that allows me to do my best to help them. If I can help in anyway to make them feel just a little bit better, then I'm happy.\n\nSo yeah, accept your emotions and learn how to use them.\n\nAlso, before you begin a conversation with your SO where you have the likelihood of crying, tell give them a heads up, and when you feel yourself wavering, take a deep breath. If you get into a fight, consider going to another room to calm down and to gather your thoughts.\n\n", "**Silence is your friend**\n\nEspecially if you feel challenged, take ten seconds (more if you need it) of *complete* silence before formulating a reply. Count in your mind if it helps. Remaining silent will give you a chance to both process your thoughts/feelings and combat any reactions your body is already beginning (shaking, tears, quickened heartbeat, etc.). Silence sometimes has the added benefit of putting you in a position of power, as your opponent becomes bewildered and increasingly more agitated as you remain calm and process your response.\n\n\n**Learn how to Breathe**\n\nAs your heart rate rises and your body tenses up, your breath will begin to quicken in pace. This is the fight or flight response - a physiological reaction to a challenge or threat. The one thing you *can* control during that response is your breath. This will take lots of practice and training. Nearly any m", "mindfulness m", "https://www.t-nation.com/training/tip-use-box-breathing-to-regain-focus\n\nBox breathing can help you to calm yourself. \n\nViewing the situation from the perspective of an observer, rather than a participant may also help.", "allow yourself to succumb to the fear, the fear of feeling. It'll allow you to potentially not feel anything at all. I don't feel anything! I'm basically out to lunch always and never do anything out of the ordinary ever! Give in to your fear!", "acceptance. accept things and continue living your life! there are plenty of other things to focus on, and anything that steals and eats your time simply isn't worth your time. Eckhart Tolle says there are three emotional states of enlightenment: acceptance, enjoyment, and/or enthusiasm. We can and should use our powerful decision-making skills to always be feeling at least one of these three.", "[This has helped me out a few times](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-T0brYYn6wyo/Va5tJlOVTGI/AAAAAAAAAyg/MpV6IE4pcwQ/s1600/10649884_1647483478802628_2164202860205426894_n.jpg) \n\nRemember to breathe, ground yourself, and don't forget that you are in control. Hope this helps. ", "Your ability to communicate written word is outstanding and a delight to read. I wish more of us were in touch with our emotions and that ability to communicate, oraly or otherwise this is outstanding communication! I might suggest you draw on your strengths which seems to be written word. Realise and use this as a defence shield. Know you are powerful and can say anything you put articulation to. You seem to know your triggers. Try standing up to them like a bully and react differently, the way you'd desire! Practice practice practice, Changing behaviours one encounter at a time. Best wishes!", "You probably won't read this as you've gotten so many comments but I have one question, are you on birth control? (and the other women in your family)", "You might be an introvert. It's common. Even if not, the same technique that helps introverts can help you. \n\nWrite down what you want to say in advance. This takes away the many pressures of trying to decide what to say, the right way to word it, etc in an instant, and worrying about reactions at the same time. \n\nYou have a bottleneck with many thoughts as well as perceiving the other person. It's like two crowds coming and going through a single-width door. \n\nWrite it down, take your time. Then you only have to be concerned with delivery (just ONE of the tasks). Also, having mentally gone through the ideas a few times, you will have lowered your reaction to it somewhat. ", "You could try to pretend youre talking to yourself. Be objective about it, pretend they are just a shitty mirror and youre just rehersing, telling yourself these things, again! ", "You can imagine that you're another Person (like voldemort or darth vader) and \"play\" their role. Because these wouldn't cry", "Wiggle your left pinkie to make a counter-clockwise circle. Unless you're left handed, then do your right pinkie clockwise. \n\nFocusing on an arbitrary, unintuitive, generally unnoticeable physical action helps.", "Why do you have to contain your emotions but your SO gets to be defensive? Maybe having a talk with SO where you explain that you get the sense that they're acting defensive. Make sure you are both understanding why the other is acting the way they are; no assumptions. And let each other know your needs (do you need a time out? A hug? A joke?) Also, I have a friend who is very emotional and that's one of the things her husband loves about her. He's learned to get in touch with and express his emotions from her and now they're emotional together! I get that the tears can be bad in certain situations like at work, but this is part of who you are. You're in touch with your emotions, sensitive, and expressive. Those are good things! (I refer to myself as a delicate flower). If this SO is sticking around, they've got to learn how to deal with it. I know this doesn't answer your question but maybe it answers another one!", "When you know you're going to be in an emotional or stressful situation try chewing gum. \n\nchewing gum is associated with reduced anxiety and lower cortisol levels. The stress relief can occur almost immediately, but has long-term effects, too Chewing gum alleviates negative mood and reduces cortisol during acute laboratory psychological stress.", "Well I did the same thing until I was just fed up (30years)with not being able to express myself. It takes years of practice and will still rear its ugly head from time to time. Don't get me wrong I value my emotions but don't enjoy when they shut me down. I started by making lists of what I wanted to say and prefacing the conversation by acknowledging that I would be crying and most likely unintelligible but that I was hoping this would be the first of many honest conversation about thing that are important to me. I made it through the list, it didn't go well but I was proud of myself for trying. After that I got rid of the list and would stick to one emotional thing at a time. \nUsually if I have something emotional I want to talk about I will ask the person if there is a good time we could meet and talk about X. Before the meeting I outline my feeling and their (imagined) feeling, then come up with 2 scenarios. At the meeting, I talk about one or two emotional things at a time. After making \"I feel because\" statement and listening to responses i focus on future collaborative solutions. If I start getting emotional I take a short break (bathroom is good for this) then either keep going or set another date. It's good to practice on things that are mildly emotionally charged then work up to bigger issues. \nI am doing well after 10 years of working at expressing myself without drowning in my emotions. Looking back at that first failed \"crying list\" still makes me proud. My quality of life has improved every day since I made the decision to not let my emotions drown me again. \nGood luck! It is worth the effort. ", "Videos in this thread:\n\n[Watch Playlist &#9654;](http://subtletv.com/_r4nc4af?feature=playlist&nline=1)\n\n\tVIDEO|COMMENT\n\t-|-\n[Mad Men - Don and Peggy confrontation about the Glo-Coat commercial idea](https://youtube.com/watch?v=LruKCZkWVZY)|[1](https://reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/4nc4af/_/d42xstg?context=10#d42xstg) - You could try \"channeling\" someone more confident or badass. Personally, I go with Don Draper of Mad Men. Be more like Don and less like Peggy. \n[Matthieu Ricard: The habits of happiness](https://youtube.com/watch?v=vbLEf4HR74E)|[1](https://reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/4nc4af/_/d433g5o?context=10#d433g5o) - I would suggest some reading or youtubing on m", "Usually this is because you can't fully articulate what you want to say and you get upset at the largeness of the issue. \n\nThe only advice I can give you is to control your breathing and heart rate. Focus really intently on your breathing.\n\nThen if you feel those emotions coming on notice it. Don't give into it but try to \"watch\" or observe the feelings. Once you realize you are not your feelings it can help you put distance between the you that exists and the emotions you feel. \n\nIf you can picture the emotion try to ball it up and push it away in your mind. Try to visualize the feelings and mentally try to \"see\" it going off in the distance. ", "Use some tricks from neuroscience! \n\nVagal stimulation slows your heart and breathing. Try rubbing the sides of your neck gently (careful if you have a clot there you could release it and have a stroke). Another way to do this is to take a poop. I'm not even kidding. \n\nTaking deliberate, deep, slow breaths help in a similar fashion. \n\nAlso we know from research that the brain's own awareness of our heartbeats either causes or is a driver of anxiety. Distract yourself as best you can when you begin to notice your heart beat. \n\n\n", "Try to observe yourself objectively. Far from yourself. Try to find out why you are frustrated or angry and what made you like that.", "This is pretty late so I hope you get a chance to read this. There's a lot of advice here about what you need to do or change. I'm the calm(er) half of a couple. I needed to learn that every conversation/confrontation didn't need to be resolved immediately. That taking a break didn't mean the issue would just be dropped. I had to learn to trust that we would actually talk about it when we're less emotional, rather than sweeping it under the rug until we blew up again.", "This is going to sound fairly crass....but hear me out. Sometime around 29ish (I'm 35 now) I took the attitude that \"you can go get fucked\" in regards to most people. If you feel emotion coming on while you're trying to have a serious conversation with someone, and that person goes on the defensive instead of pausing for concern due to your distress, then it's probably over. He's either seen it too often and just automatically thinks it's his fault, or he's causing it in you and that's no good either. Doesn't matter what it is, because the most important thing is your happiness. If you are in a situation where someone or something makes you unhappy, then that person can \"go get fucked.\" Life is too short. Go read [this] (https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/2xc947/text_soon_i_will_be_gone_forever_but_thats_okay/) Then take a deep breath, look that person straight in the eye, and the second the conversation even LEANS the way you don't want it to, be like \"No motherfucker, go get fucked, and listen to me.\" Say it in a mirror first if you have to. You will feel empowered. You're welcome.\n", "This is common for many individuals. Among other factors as listed below, we are often not taught in childhood how to properly regulate our emotions. Emotional Regulation is the key. You can google it and read about it. The city I live in has a women's \"Dealing with strong emotions\" drop-in psycho-education group. Maybe you can find a group/therapist/counsellor/online course to learn some coping techniques to help you. I'm in the same boat as you. \n\n", "This has been my biggest frustration in life and I am 50. I realized that this came from some conditioning being raised as an orthodox mormon woman. We were not allowed to be angry. At the same time, we were taught that when you feel strongly about something (have a \"testimony\" of it) that you need to express the deep feeling that you have about it. Additionally I was raised to experience and feel a lot of shame and guilt and all these things really stunted my emotional intelligence way into my adult years. I have used a lot of therapy with EMDR to correct and adjust this way of dealing with emotion. EMDR has assisted me in being able to dull very hot traumatic feelings and bring my response and the pain level around them to a manageable emotionally adult level. That said, there is something refreshing and beautiful about an emotionally honest and vulnerable person. Keep a balance. It is okay. especially when you are with someone who is in pain.", "This happened to me when my testosterone levels were low. Women need that hormone too, in much lower doses than men, but if your body isn't making much of it due to either natural or medicinal reasons then your ability to handle conflict situations and emotional upsets can become more along the lines of what you describe. \n\nI will have my hormone levels checked every few years and those years where I've been on the higher end of the normal range for women (we can go up to 70ng/dL) I've had high conflict situations slide off my back like I'm just going to the grocery store for eggs. If I'm on the lower end, though, I can get severely depressed and cry very easily over any kind of disagreement, even those that don't warrant that response from me. \n\nSomething to get checked with a doctor, at least. If it's that then you can actually take action and test it. If it's a personality trait or learned response, though, they you've still got the option of therapy and such to work through it.\n\nOne thing to keep in mind, though, is that you're entitled to reasonable emotional responses. If someone is shaming you for being upset over reasonably upsetting events or their unwarranted hostility then *they* are the problem, not your emotions. In that case, you need a LPT on getting rid of toxic people, not on how to stop feeling your feelings. ", "This doesn't work every time for me but if you can, imagine you are talking about yourself in the third person, as if you are defending or arguing for someone else. \n\nThis especially works for me dealing with physical pain too, if I can imagine the pain is being experienced by someone else I am watching and sympathizing with, but not myself directly.", "Think life is greater than all the insignificant shit the rattles us. We're all but specs of dust floating in a vast universe.", "These are all decent answers. If you try them and they still don't work, consider talking to a doctor and taking medication for anxiety/depression. There's a point where if you just don't have control over your emotions then taking a pill everyday may make your life much happier. ", "There are a lot of great replies and advice in this thread. But I think it's worth noting that if the problem persists, seeing a psychiatrist / psychologist can be really helpful. While you may be referred to a speech therapist, psychs are often able to help you to both address the underlying reasons why you may tear up at certain times as well as build effective strategies resolve the issue. ", "The only things that help me when something hurtful happen to me or I must talk about a sensitive subject. I look at the event as an eyewitness and not as the person who live it. It help to be more objective and take things less personal", "The next time you are angry, lay back. Prop up a few pillows around you, place your legs on a table, breathe deep and slow, arms out in a power pose and feel each muscle from head to toe relax as a wave travels from your head to toe.... this way your body will calm down and feel confident and in sync. \nAnd then you can close your eyes and take a nice little nappy nap. ", "That is such a hard one! My trick is to escape into the restroom and have a little cry and breath. Count to 10. Let your SO know when your PMSing . seriously. \n\n\n\n", "Thank you so much for requesting this!! This is my exact issue. Thanks for all the tips everyone has shared!", "Thank you so much for posting! This is something I experience as well. I am also a woman in my mid-twenties and I work in IT, a male dominated field. I cry out of frustration and my peers can't believe it since I have a reputation of being extremely logical and a bit brash. It's hard to explain where it's coming from and even harder to contain it once it starts. ", "Thank you so much for asking this - and thank you everyone for the great answers! I am 41 and I have been like this my whole life. Now I have some tactics to practice.", "Thank you for asking this!!! Just last night I tried to Google it... I'm exactly the same way and I hate it!!!", "Take this with, like, a gallon of salt...\n\nBut I've read that women sometimes internally transform feelings of anger into more socially acceptable \"feminine\" feelings like sadness or tearfulness. The idea is they do this unconsciously because from a very early age girls are reprimanded for behaving angry, shouting and physically expressing frustration or being aggressive. However, crying and being less aggressively sad or upset is allowed and might even get little girls what they want. Because passive feelings and behaviors are continually reinforced and aggressive, \"masculine/macho\" feeling and behaviors (rage, shouting in anger, etc) women are conditioned by society to sublimate feelings of anger into more socially acceptable feelings of sadness/tears. Women are called \"bitchy\", aggressive, off putting, unable to work with others, etc if they deviate from societies unwritten ban on women being justifiably angry. \n\nThe reason I say all this is because you mentioned all the women in your family cry at the smallest reasons or whenever their mad. Maybe your family is genetically predisposed to wavery vocal chords or something. Maybe you all have overactive tear ducts. But maybe you all grew up in a community culture where women were discouraged (overtly or covertly/unconsciously) from expressing anger like the boys do. If everyone in your family, regardless of gender, had this problem I might say you all grew up in the culture where getting good and mad and shouting up a storm was strongly discouraged. \n\nThis probably doesn't help at all in fixing your problem. I'm sorry. \n\nBut maybe this can help? When I was younger I had this problem whenever I would get really mad in a fight with my mom. She called it me \"crumping\"because it was like I just crumpled into a heaving, sobbing mess. Angry tears, hot and red faced. I used to pretend I was in a cool, white room, where none of the noise of people shouting could reach my ears. This blocked out the sound of my moms voice, so not very helpful if you need to keep your wits about you. \n\nGood luck!", "Take a second, close your eyes, and breathe out. Breathe in and out until you stabilize.\n\nThe wavering and tearfulness happens from suppression of the emotions. ", "Something that helped me learn to express myself better is a book called *The Assertiveness Workbook* by Randy J. Paterson.\n\nThe book focuses mostly on things like how to acknowledge your ideas, wants, and needs, and how to express them in a way that you will feel heard, and others will be more open to hearing. That stuff may or may not be helpful for you, but it's not the main reason why I'm recommending the book.\n\nI recommend the book more because there is an entire chapter regarding the stress response. They talk about what it is, how to recognize it, and techniques for managing the physical reaction that inevitably accompanies--and often exacerbates--an emotional response.\n\n**", "Someone told me once that you can't cry while drinking water. I'm not sure if it's true, but it may be enough a distraction to give it a try!", "Someone said on another sub to clear your throat. I started doing this and it totally helped in those awkward situations. ", "So, in short/in *rational* terms: You think, that everyone thinks, you're 'just being a crybaby'. You disagree with them, but can't disprove them since you physically cry very easily. Ergo, how do I not cry when faced with a 'loaded' situation?\n\nPersonally, I've found 2 ways. Both different but effective. Right now your emotions have the high ground over your mind. You need to get in touch with yourself again.\n\nOption 1: Rationalize and put everything in perspective. All the time. \n\n- Drinking a glass of water? Glad there's clean water coming out of the tap instead of drinking from some murky pool in the desert.\n\n- Mom is nagging again? Glad she's still alive.\n\n- I can feel safe walking down the street at night because of our prosperous society? Thank goodness I live here.\n\n- Argument/breakup with SO? Even though this is a painful experience, I'll learn everything I can from it and keep it in mind for the future so I can be better for the next one.\n\nThis is a double-sided coin. On one hand you'll appreciate everything way more, but you'll be prone to cynicism.\n\nOption 2: Become stoïc and tranquil. At peace with everything. But in the short term this means, not giving a damn about anything or anyone. This come back to option 1. Take this as a mental exercise. \nSince it's always worse somewhere else, to someone else, why would you let anything in this life bother you. You won't die, you're not going to lose a limb, your parents aren't going to suffer horrible deaths so why waste even your fucking breath on one single goddamn tear. Get in the saddle and stay in it.\n\nAlso, as a final tip, look into m", "Slowly, over the next couple decades, smother and suppress your emotions by building a wall around yourself. Let go of old friends and realize that your potential will not be met, your life will be fruitless and lonely, and drudge through life performing tasks you don't care about for a paycheck to supply you with basic cable. You should slowly become numb to any feelings at all. Worked for me! Good luck! :)", "Shit, I'm a man in my mid twenties and I'm the same. I'm rather big, I have a beard and people think I'm a \"tough guy\", but when it comes to REALLY stressful situations I cry like a bitch. I'm not even sad or angry, it's out of frustration I guess. \n\nsorry I didn't help, I just wanted to say that there are more ppl like you", "Read a lot. You'll be spewing information at people (about things other than yourself) instead of trying to disclose information (about yourself or your mood). ", "Practice Mindfulness m", "People have some great tips here, emulating powerful people/characters, slowing down and taking your time, practicing/role playing, etc. etc. \n\nSomething else you can do is in the way you word things. To help take the confrontational edge off what you're saying, always phrase things (esp. with SO's) as \"When you X, it makes me feel Y\", or \"I feel like X when Y happens.\" By saying how it makes you feel, it's doesn't come off as a threat/confrontation, but as you expressing how their actions affect you. ", "Pause for poise. \n\nI don't have a problem with crying at all, but I have had a similar problem with public speaking. It's that's same feedback loop of self conscious pressure you're exerting on yourself. What works for a lot of people in this situation is to pause for poise. \n\nWhen you feel your voice quiver and your emotions are welling up, say to yourself in your mind 'pause for poise'. And when you say this in your mind, actually pause, take a breath, mind your posture, clear your throat and picture yourself poised. You may feel like the brief moment of silence while you do this is awkward, but it really won't be. It gives you a chance to get back on top of your emotions and the situation. People will admire it. Try it. Don't rush to the next thing you want to say, or the next feeling that is overwhelming you. \n\nThink about the reality of the situation. The hardness of the corners of the table next to you. The fresh air that you know is outside your window. The gravity that is holding everything down in the room, including your feet to the floor. Feel the solid, undeniable, obvious reality around you. Try not to be so lost in your mind. Remember to pause for poise. \n", "Own it. If your voice cracks, don't feel as though you've done something wrong or that you are weak. It's a totally normal response and if the other party has a problem with it then you have one more thing to give them hell about. My mom and my sister both cry at the drop of a hat and I learned at a very early age that the last thing I wanted to do was make either cry... So if anything, this worked out in their favour. ", "On the flip side; can someone explain how to cry when it matters? I was routinely beaten \"until the tears stopped\" and now consider everyone pussies. Semi serious actually. ", "Oh god, I hate losing my cool. I have a similar problem to you for arguments where I have a significant investment(relationships or life change type arguments etc.) and also when a bunch of stuff starts going wrong at once. The hardest part about this is that after I lose it, I forget that I'm working on keeping control of my emotions. \n\nHowever, I've given a lot of thought to this and after enough failed attempts, I have started to occasionally realize that I'm either getting exhasperated or angry in some conflict as it's happening. It is quite a concentrated effort and it doesn't even mean that I won't lose my cool, but I'm moving in the right direction. The very fact that you recognize that you lose control of your emotions gives you an opportunity to change that. The fact that you are actively trying to solve it and think of ways to overcome it means that eventually you will be able to deal with it better. Even if it is a slow process. IMHO\n", "Oh dear. I like to think of myself as a badass most of the time, but even though I'm a 44 year old female...when I get into a confrontation with one of the young dumb punks at work I usually eat them for breakfast...but sometimes they get the best of me (NOT THAT THEY KNOW THIS), but when I get SUPER MAD, it brings me to tears...fuckers. I have always been this way...but I **NEVER** let them see me tear up. I just make sure to walk away so I'm not seen as a limping gazelle or some shit that they can attack anymore. ", "OP, I applaud you seeking out answers or \"life hacks\" to solve this issue. I've skimmed through the replies and I feel compelled to give you a take on it that I'm fairly confident you haven't heard before.\n\nCrying for you has become an unconscious tool that you use to get your way or be heard in a situation. This is why your SO becomes defensive or frustrated. When we were kids, a response to physical pain was crying. When you are in a serious conversation or argument and you start crying, it's almost as if you're communicating that the other person has physically harmed you when they have done nothing. When you start crying, you are unfairly trying to \"win\" or distract the other person and reshape the paradigm of the argument.\n\nYou need to look deep inside yourself and (as the kids call it) do a little \"adulting.\" Focus on facts and not feelings. If I had to guess, you learned this behavior at a young age and have kept it because the people around you rewarded you by coddling or ceding a point during a conflict. As you have grown older, you have discovered that most of society is repulsed by this behavior and you (rightly) fear this could impact professional and personal prospects.\n\nI know this sounds like a typical, callous, mean reddit comment, but I know people with this issue in my life and their lives have suffered for it. Also, I'm willing to also bet you probably have many gifts you are unable to share with the rest of the world because this issue has stymied you.\n\nI truly wish you well and hope that my message comes through here. Take responsibility for your output. Focus on the facts, not your feelings. Good luck to you!", "OP are you me? Last night I cried it out for thirty minutes over something silly. Going to soak up these tips like a sponge.", "OMG this is me! I tear-up as a response to any intense emotion, happiness is definitely included in that. I don't have any amazing tips but I can say that the most basic act of slowing down and taking deep breaths is the most helpful. Also allowing yourself to just be in those situations is great for practice and presence. Having a loving supportive (and perhaps also on the sensitive side) who get it is wonderful too. ", "No solution, but oh my god this is my life long struggle. Thankfully I don't get emotional often, but anytime I do I can't fucking talk/express my feelings because that damn shaky voice won't go away, it grips my vocal cords and I can't say anything...\n\n> But, what I'd rather do is learn to better articulate these feelings calmly, without crying or having my voice falter, so that they are better received. \n\nIt's like you stole this right out of my head.\n\nIt's a pain because i've been wanting to talk to a therapist/social worker for a long time about some issues and i'm so afraid of getting into emotional stuff because I know this will happen and I won't be able to talk/express what I want to say. Ugh, the struggle.", "My only advice would be , dont blame your self, if your thoughts say you shouldnt do that, it doesnt mean you hav control to stop , if you want to change something dont resist it, first acept the moment you are feeling that way, and you will have better perspective", "My ex gf used to cry about stuff that i personally thought was ridiculous. She just lived a very sheltered life. If you're anything like her, and you want to toughen up, stop focusing on your own trials and tribulations. Listen to others. They or may not have it worse than you, but at least you will gain some perspective. Travel, volunteer, teach. These things will make you a stronger person", "My dad once told me that when I feel the tears coming on to cough a few times and it actually helps keep them back! ", "Maybe this won't help you, but for myself I found that learning about the neuroscience behind emotional and cognitive responses helped to manage them.\n\nThere is a lot of info out there, but to summarize:\n\nThere is a part of your brain that is responsible for taking input (what you see, hear, touch, taste, smell) and triggering a basic emotion. There is evidence that this happens first, before you are even conscious of the stimuli. That emotional signal gets sent to the part of your brain responsible for conscious thought afterwards. Somewhere in the mix is a sort of check or reference against long-term memories associated with strong emotional responses. If something in the stimuli matches up with that, the emotional response can be very strong - sometimes overwhelming.\n\nAnyhow, once it reaches the part of your brain that is responsible for conscious thought, you have a choice. Do you recognize the emotion and let it \"pass\" without acting, or do you treat it as a real warning and hold onto it? The trick is to teach yourself that you can do the first option. If you are angry, for example, you don't have to stay angry. You can recognize that you feel angry, think about why, and then decide to let the emotional response go. It might be hard to do that now, because when you feel very angry you have unconsciously tied whatever it was that made you angry to some long-term memory association that you might not even know is there, and as a result, the cognitive (conscious) part of your brain tends to take that very seriously and not want to let it go. However, once you understand that it is just a consequence of how your brain is wired, and that just because you feel very strongly in a given situation, that doesn't mean those feelings are representative of reality, it becomes easier to let it pass.\n\nThe theory is that this used to be a great thing in early evolutionary history because small details like an odd smell or a rustling bush might mean a tiger was about to eat you, so being able to rapidly generate a strong fight-or-flight response without thinking about it was key to survival. Nowadays, it tends to work against us because it's more common to run into mild frustrations in day-to-day life, rather than actual life-and-death situations.\n\nHopefully this makes sense. I guess the way I think about it now is, if I feel very strongly about something, unless there is an obvious danger to me or someone around me, I basically just assume that it's the primitive part of my brain trying to tell me something that it thinks is important. Then I think about what that might be, and decide whether it is important or not. Just that process of mentally separating the two creates a little bit of distance and gives me time to control my physical reaction.\n\nGood luck!", "Math seriously helps- take a deep breath, do some math in your head to distract you from crying, and remember what point you were trying to get across. It gets easier with practice. ", "Look at everything from a nihilistic perspective and then laugh because everything is now menial. Life is a joke. Hahaha.......;_; My life is a joke! ahaha", "Lol I've never told anyone this, but I say the pledge of allegiance in my head. This is whether I am angry and feel like I'm going to boil over or if I'm about to cry. It's always helped me get my bearings. ", "Late to this thread, however as a young professional in the exact same boat: I have stopped being afraid of silence. If I can't express my feelings, or get my point across without feeling in control I just wait. I don't ask for a second, I sit for 3-5 seconds and collect my thoughts. If someone in the room butts in, anger usually overpasses frustration and I tell them I am not done and I can continue. ", "Know that the calmer you are the better decisions you will make, it takes practice but it becomes easier to understand why your upset and what values you feel are being disturbed and how to resolve the conflict. ", "Ive had this problem my whole life as well. In fact i recently started seeing a therapist and this is one of the biggets things we've been working on.Here's the things that have helped me so far:\n1. Stomach breathing. When inhaling, trying \"filling your stomach\" instead of your chest. It takes some practice, sit comfortably place a hand on your stomach and try to initiate the rise and fall you feel in your chest when breathing in your stomach. There's a physiological basis behind this that I thought was pretty nifty, it essentially activates your parasympathetic nervous system rather than your sympathetic and cuts off that fight or flight response. Its helpful in the heat of the moment but it will be even more helpful if you can establish some sort of regular practice so your body \"gets used to it\" so to speak, its like training a muscle (i do mine for 5 minutes on the train in to work, you can do it anywhere after you initially get the feel for it!)\n2. Mindfulness and non judgemental awareness of your emotions. I'm sure someone else here has to have mentioned mindfulness, it's just so helpful. Again, like the stomach breathing, its much more effective if you cultivate it when you aren't in crisis mode. Try and notice your emotional responses to situations, in a NON JUDGEMENTAL way. The most imprtant part is the non judgemental. Right now you start to cry and you kind of beat yourself up for it, which only perpetuates the emotional response. If you feel like you have to cry, dont fight it and let yourself, the emotional will pass much more quickly than if you fight it I promise. Just think \"I am uoset because of x, I am crying or want to cry because im upset and leave it at that. This is a lot harder to do than it seems especially after a lifetime of doing it the other way but it will get easier with practice, and its a good idea to practice with other types of emotions (i.e. when you feel happy) and m", "It's been said that many times anger is a secondary emotion covering up what's really going on. I know for me a lot of times I might get pissed off, but I'm actually sad about the situation, which could explain why you're sad. \n\nLike say your friend doesn't invite you out with some other people, so you get pissed off, when in reality you may actually be just sad that they didn't include you.\n\nAcknowledging that I'm sad has helped me a lot with the situation you are in, rather than trying to hold it down under a veil of anger.", "It's a sign that you are emotionally healthy. It may be embarrassing, but true confidence is as simple as saying, \"sorry, this subject stirs me a bit\". Own your passion.", "It takes practice and mindfulness in the moment. Sometimes writing out what you need to discuss beforehand is helpful, but if it's spur f the moment, you may only find that time and mindfulness work.", "It helps to step back from the situation and force yourself to view things from a broader perspective. Easier said than done, I know. But watch this video - it's really helped me to give less of a fuck about the small stuff: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln8UwPd1z20\n\nAlso, anxiety meds.", "If you're serious about wanting to address this issue in yourself (rather than just try a bunch of two minute Reddit solutions), then I highly recommend the book, \"Stop Overreacting\" by Judith Siegel. \n\n\nhttps://read.amazon.com/kp/kshare?asin=B003VPWXFG\n\nHer insights have really helped me with some similar issues. Some of the advice I've read in these comments is similar to her theories and exercises, but she presents a well organized, research backed analysis. ", "If you do cry, don't fixate on the fact that you're crying, or how other people will interpret your crying. Fixate on what needs to be said. Don't apologize. *Don't apologize.*", "If there's one trick I can always count on, it's to get angry.\n\nTL;DR: Accept that it's okay to be mad. Dissociate offender from offense, get mad, and let the feeling pass through you harmlessly.\n\n---\n\nNow, for some context... I'm a very tiny girl who was raised in a very conservative household. I was raised to believe that to feel anger was a sin, and that only heathens and abusers got angry. As yo could expect, this was a very angry home, but nobody would admit to it. So naturally, I had (and still have) a big problem with blaming everything on myself. When something goes wrong, I look at myself and think, \"What did I do to cause this? What are all the reasons why this can be my fault? Do I deserve this pain and why is the answer yes?\" Naturally, even when things aren't my fault, I've been trained to believe they are. This led to many tearful nights in my life, all since I was raised to blame myself when stressed.\n\nWhen something bad happens to you and you're about to cry, there are times when you *need* to be angry. Anger is a healthy emotion in the right hands, and for some of us, accepting healthy anger needs to be taught. However, the trick isn't to get mad at the person who offended you. Instead, dissociate the person from what they did, then get angry at their actions. **Dissociating offender from offense is key.** Once you've learned that, it's time to become okay with your feelings. Constructive anger allows you to release your emotions without hurting others. It's a feeling that must be released, because if you don't, you'll turn it on yourself. That isn't healthy, and it's not what you deserve.\n\nWhen I know I need to get angry at something, I go somewhere quiet where I can pace around and think alone. I focus on the feeling, understand what caused it, and accept that it's okay to be mad at an action. I allow the feeling to run its course, and before long, it passes without causing me pain. It feels really weird at first, but over time, you can re-teach yourself that anger is okay, and if you channel it properly, you can feel it without hurting anyone else.", "I've found thinking of something non emotional and rational like doing math problems in your head helps take away the emotional side and bring about the more rational side of the brain.", "I'm the same.\nSomeone (possibly on Reddit) recommended trying to zone out of the person/ situation upsetting you and do the times tables in your head. I always do 7 or 8 times table because they're hard and make me concentrate on it. Also I have learnt the art of staring at one spot on the wall slightly to the side of the person talking to you.\nThis works for me as I work in a pretty bullying environment where girls get kinda picked on by bosses for a power trip. \n\nIf I know I'm going to cry and it's 100% unavoidable I feign a coughing fit to go to the loo where I get a grip and give myself a pep talk. \n\nIt's weird really, been to 2 family funerals lately and didn't cry at either. My boss told me off for being 3 minutes late and I started to well up!", "I'm still struggling with this. (I don't have my No Fucks Given degree despite the shit I've been through, and I don't know that I want it. Becoming jaded seems like giving in to me. Having the courage to remain sensitive in a world that does everything it can to make you calloused is something I want. It's the harder way to live, but I feel it's the right one for me.)\n\nI've improved somewhat in at least not showing how hurt/frustrated/angry I am with two strategies.\n\n1) I don't try to address my emotions directly in that moment. I focus on keeping my face neutral instead. Your emotions have an effect on your physical self, of course, but your physical self can also have an effect on your emotions. There was a study (don't have it handy) that showed faking a smile long enough buoys your mood. It doesn't make you happy, but it can make you less sad. Controlling my face seems to translate to controlling my emotions. \n\n2) I give myself permission to deal with the feelings later. I usually tell myself (over and over), \"You need to keep it together right now but only for five more minutes (or however long until I can cry in the bathroom).\"\n\nIt's not perfect. I still need to be less teary when I talk to my spouse, but these things have definitely improved my interactions, especially with everyone other than him. \n\nI think my brief forays into m", "I'm sorry I was too lazy to read all comments, but I agree with the ones about deep breathing. Actually I imagine breathing out what I call \"bitter sad air\" and breathing in air which is new and clear.", "I'm just seeing this as I'm about to sleep, I'm a dude who gets really emotional when upset and I wouldn't mind advice if people left it. Also, it'll remind me to look back at this. ", "I'm in therapy for anxiety and she's given me a large array of \"tools\" to help when I start feeling like I'm about to lose it. \n\nThe most helpful tool has been a rock. No bullshit, it's a quarter sized smooth rock that I carry around with me. When I get into a destructive cycle (catastrophizing) I take out the rock and think about how it feels. Is it cool? Warm? Soft? Hard? What's the texture like? Should I clean it soon? \n\nIt really helps break the cycle. \n\nIf you had asked me to rank my tools in terms of how effective I thought they would be when I first got them, I would tell you that the rock would be dead last but it has totally proven itself and I love it. ", "I'm exactly the same way. Even today when someone at work gave me advice on how to improve that I feel humiliated and then I have a shake voice and my eyes water. I hate it. ", "I'm exactly like this, too! I instantly start crying when my SO and I get into a tiff, and I generally don't handle confrontation without becoming shaky/cry face at some point. For me, I think the overflowing of emotions comes from the accumulation of little things that bother me over time that I don't ever make a big deal out of. Call it passive aggressive. So when there is any sort of confrontation, everything that has built up over time, comes to the surface in the form of a crying mess, haha. My mind becomes flooded with defences, immediately. Do you think this might be the case for you? It's kind of complex, but no matter the case, taking ten seconds to take some deep breaths and focussing on relaxing all of your muscles will put you in a better position to work things out with the other person. ", "I'm almost 30 and I've been struggling with this for most of my adult life. I think the more you think about something, the more it will consume you. By the time you have a 'conversation' or you are discussing something with your SO, you will end up bringing up the thing that is consuming you (usually it's another point you couldn't get across at another time and because of that, for you, the issue isn't resolved. Because you are frustrated and cannot get your point across, you tear up and feel like you're losing - at least that's how I felt). \n\nUnfortunately there is no easy fix and what worked for me may not work for you. I basically had to ‘train’ my mind to think of other things rather than constantly focusing on things stressing me out, frustrating me and ultimately consuming me. There were times when I had no idea why I was feeling the way I did or why my emotions would get the best of me. Basically you need to preoccupy your mind and just learn to let go (easier said than done). Pick up a few hobbies - you will feel more active and less preoccupied in your head. If you end up thinking about whatever it is is that is frustrating you, force yourself to think about something else. It probably took me a few weeks to a month before my mind could comfortably space out (but I must admit I still have problems every now and then). Also try to embrace a bit of an ‘I don’t care’ attitude. Before you know it, in the moments where you would previously be anxious, have the wavering voice and start tearing, you will instead notice that you’re a lot calmer and less frustrated. Over time things will just slowly get better.\n\nSometimes it’s just good to know that there are people out there that feel the way you do and, if they can overcome it, so can you. Good luck OP!\n\n", "I'm a guy, teenager. Happens to me my entire life.. It's kind of embarrasing especially when it happens when I argue with teachers.", "I'm a guy in my late thirties. Always been a really calm collected guy, but when the really rare anger gets up, or I have to have a pointed conversation with someone, the first sentence comes out and there is a wave of dizziness. \n\nThe first sentence that leaves my mouth that I know is harsh and either by design or I know could hurt some one, I go seriously dizzy for 1 second. I wish I knew how to fix that, but I assume it's the same response? ", "I'm a guy and that would happen to me probably till the age of 20 or so occasionally. It is weird to think what it would be like if that had just never gone away. Then again maybe I'm just numb now and when I was younger I felt everything more.", "I'm a 19 year old guy and I have a similar problem when taking personal criticism, I don't understand it, I have no conciousness emotional problem, but physically my eyes tear up and I have to hold it back. I don't understand why because conciously I take the criticism well but my subconscious seems to have a problem", "I would try to de-escalate the emotional stakes of it. Take a break in the middle of it and have a glass of water. Have that glass of water there and take a sip from it once in a while. It'll force your throat to do something other than tense up for talking, and also makes for a natural break between things being said which you can use to sort out what you're saying.", "I would suggest some reading or youtubing on m", "I would get some CBT rather than take advice from strangers on reddit. The thought habits that lead to your emotional state should be addressed, and that is properly the work of a trained psychologist.\n\nThe idea that you can address a physical tic like crying or shaking, while ignoring the underlying mental processes and habits that result in that tic, and yet have long-term success -- this idea is flawed. The thought habits are the core of the problem and if not addressed will just manifest themselves in other, equally problematic ways, maybe even via physical symptoms that resemble -- or even cause -- illness. ", "I would also recommend mediation. I started with Headspace but there are plenty of great apps out there if you want a hand getting started. ", "I would add that I used to have this happen, but controlling my breathing really helped. I noticed I used to be a real shallow breather, but by forcefully focusing on taking deal breaths all the time I no longer experience this. Whenever I'm angry I always breath deeply now and that's helped me stay calm. \n\nEven when you feel happy just focus on breathing deeply, when you're at a stop sign or a red light, when you're typing on the computer or doing anything boring focus on deep breathing to make it a habit. ", "I went through a bit of depression when I was younger, from around 7-14 (caused primarily by bullying) and what helped me sort it out was facing it directly and thinking; \"What is the point in being upset? It isn't doing anything for me.\", then most of my depression quickly dissapeared. The mild side effect being I am slightly sociopathic now? idk.\n\nIts fine to feel upset and emotional but realize that you control your own emotions; don't let them control you.", "I was given this pro tip for calming yourself down in high stress situations from MLB player Jim Eisenrich who was laghued off the field his first appearance in the major leagues due to a major Tourette episode at bat. Focus and relax the jaw muscles. If you find yourself in a high stress situation you jaw muscles naturally tense. By relaxing them the stress will dissipate.\nFollowed this advice in the military and it served me well in managing physical stress and controlling my emotions and natural body reactions.\nGoogle Jim Eisenrich laughed off the field by the Royals fans to see what he has to overcome. He eventually went on to be MVP for the Phillies during the World Series.", "I used to struggle with my temper in stressful situations, my adrenalin would almost blind me. I found that focusing on my breathing and relaxing muscle groups in a systematic way worked for me. ", "I used to have this very same issue until my life truly fell apart a year ago. I hit rock bottom. Now that I survived, I no longer get over emotional when angry.\n\nI do like the suggestion of pretending to be a powerful character. Oliva Benson from SVU is one of my favorite fictional characters. Channeling her would definitely help if I ever feel overwhelmed/over-emotional again.\n\nThank you OP for being brave enough to share your experience with us.\n\n\n\n\n\n", "I used to have the same problem, I always assumed that it was a symptom of my anxiety/depression as it always felt like a mini-panic attack, and it's a much rarer occurrence now that I'm on anti-depressants. Just bringing this up in case you wanted to research mental illnesses to see if any of it feels relevant to you.", "I used to do this all the time. I found getting enough sleep and not overwhelming myself with weekend plans help a lot. If I'm overtired everything makes me upset, plus being upset about being tired. Listening to your body is key- and you don't have to do *everything.*\n\nMy fiancé and I did a few sessions of couples counseling and it really helped us communicate better, and made me more confident overall. \n\nGood luck! I'm glad I'm not the only one that's like this. :) ", "I think you can't be too emotional without a reason. Maybe you are too exhausted, and your defense got weaker (this is a fact - we get physically vulnerable when tired). Or you are trying to handle and control too much, so your brain just refuses to operate this way.\nIf you have an emotion it is better to express it or it will eventually add to your load. Tears are just an expression for something, not a separate thing. Find the triggers and reasons and fight them.\nIf you are tired then sleep more or do something relaxing. E.g. I can be brave and smart but I totally lose control when I'm yelled at. I know this and try to avoid such situations, and if it's not possible I just try to have some time on my own before I react to this in any way so I calm down and logically recall the dialog.", "I think I'm missing a gene of some kind. I never get really mad or emotional at anything other than watching my favorite football team play. \n\nI have empathy for people and I can get teary eyed watching a commercial. I can also get extremely happy about things but I simply do not have a range of sad, mad or negative emotions. I'm in my 50's now and lost everything, including a 30 million dollar business in the recession and once you've been stripped dry maybe that has given me perspective.\n\nEver since then nothing has really bothered me. I take everything in stride and I know it'll be okay. I will also say I do have a hard time relating to people who are so emotional about things. It's like I've created my own sphere of living where eveything's good and if something bad happens I don't let it bother me.", "I once resigned earlier than planned after getting (unfairly) ripped a new one during an annual review by a boss who'd only worked with me for a few weeks. I wanted to tell them to go to hell, but I had to play nice because I effectively gave a months notice. This is how I staved off my hate-sobs. \n\nI forced myself to laugh and say \"Well, this is awkward\" and took a lot of quiet deep breaths, blinked long and slow whenever I had the chance, and went glassy-eyed while I resigned and finished the review (about 5 more minutes). I teared up a little but they thought I was just emotional about leaving a \"good job\". \n\nThen I got out of earshot and promptly burst into tears because I was absolutely livid and humiliated.", "I like to pretend that whoever I'm angry at is trying to anger me. Convince your subconscious of this, and you'll be relaxed in defiance.", "I know this might sound silly...but to 'practice' I would read sad animal articles on thedodo.com and I would repeat 'apples' in my head over and over, when I felt myself tearing up. It's worked well for me. Maybe you could give it a try?", "I haven't seen this reply so I'll put it here. Open your eyes, wide. I mean physically open your eyes as wide as possible. Your lacrimal glands are less active when your eyes are wide open, because we usually cry with our eyes closed. This tricks the glands to release less tears and dry up/spreads out the ones already there. \n\nObviously try not to look sadistic at your opponent while you do this , but you can take a second to turn away and open those eyes when you feel the tears start flowing! Works for me", "I have this same problem. I'm just used to it now. What helped was that I discovered that I am a Highly Sensitive Person, meaning that we just feel things more strongly and thus have bigger reactions. If you think it could be you I recommend checking out the site hsperson.com . Lots of great info there. \nLong story short, I just accepted that I was more emotional that other people and now it doesn't bother me anymore and I can control it better.", "I have this problem too. I actually got into a confrontation with my boss a few days ago. I got so angry my eyes teared up and my voice started to shake. I'm a 24 yo male in a factory job. If I wasn't an outcast before I am now. I'm definitely going to use some of this advice next time. ", "I have the same issue. I'm working on it because I'm embarrassed by it and don't think it's very professional to cry at work. My mother was like this too and I've always struggled with it also. \n\n\n (I'm female and 33 by the way). ", "I have the same issue! The worst part would be when my SO would ask me why I'm crying or say \"don't cry\" and it would cause me to cry more. I have been able lately to control my voice wavering by taking a pause for a breath but those tears just fall no matter what. ", "I have the same issue at work. I work in construction which isn't normally a woman's world. Sometimes I mad or frustrated at a situation and want to stand up for myself or speak out but I cant because I am in tears. Looking forward to trying some of these techniques!", "I have the answer you need. It will completely solve your problem. You see, im 28 now and the idgaf has now become so strong..... aaaaaahhhh.... fuck it.", "I have no solutions other than the fact that the very same thing happens to me. I hate it!! Thank you for asking this question, I have gained a lot of help from reading the answers too.", "I have been realizing lately that i have so much shit bottled up from my past, so much anger and grief and frustration, at myself, at other people in my life, just so much pent up emotions, there is nowhere to put it all in my brain, and it spills over into situations where i become so frustrated i don't know what to do with myself and i end up exploding. It's not healthy or good. I used to process this in therapy and it was beneficial and i have learned tools and coping mechanisms from being in therapy for so long, but i haven't been using them due to the sheer amounts of emotion and anger and sadness and frustration that has built up inside me these last few years. I have become comfortably numb, and then a volcano. I don't know why i am posting this here but i think i needed to get it out. Don't be like me. Be the best you that you can be.", "I gotcha covered....I have been a big over-reacter. This was me very recently until I started a new mantra that is a cure all....it's not that bad.\nIt's not that bad.\nIt's not that bad.\nI feel like I'm giving up my dreams doing a shit job...it's not that bad.\nThis guy is a total asshole to me...it's not that bad\nSo much is missing from my childhood...it's not that bad\nDeath is knocking on my door...it's not that bad\nDonald Trump...it's not that bad\n\nIt has seriously chilled me out and instantly relieved anxiety...do try it out\n", "I get this way as well. I am a 43 yr old man and I've been a crier my whole life. It mostly happens out of frustration, especially when I feel that I'm not being heard or understood. My emotion wells up in me so much that my brain kind of scrambles. Unfortunately my natural reaction to this is to get louder. Then I just come off as an incoherent crazy man with a temper problem. I also get emotional in response to positive things. If I'm in a group of people and I say something that the others appreciate our laugh at, I feel overwhelming pride and it causes me to tear up. Also I get teary eyed when witnessing acts of kindness, selflessness and love. I sometimes cry at a good phone commercial. I'm a mess.", "I feel you girlie. .... even when I'm upset at work, trying to hide it is impossible. I start swelling up with tears and my face starts getting bright red.", "I am the same way. Wavering voice, racing thoughts, can't get it all out, starting to cry, stop crying, please eyes stop crying, ok I can't help it now, full on cry. I have a perfect example but I won't share it right here. It is minor panic attacks, but seriously this is the way you personally deal with it. I know your pain...\n\nSimple tip for almost any situation: \n\nWalk away. Collect yourself. Look in the mirror. Cry a little more. Wipe the tears from your face. Control the tears on your terms. If it takes a while, who cares. This is about you. You will get better at it. The more you walk away and collect yourself, the stronger you will be in future situations.\n\nI've been doing it for years. When you walk away you feel out of control but all the while you keep the ball in your court. Nobody sees other than that. They look at you as the strong one who walked away...came back...and layed out how you felt. No one will ever think you walked away to cry/ compose yourself/ and collect your thoughts. ", "I am a woman in my late 20s who works in an aggressive predominantly male field. I find that looking directly up and into a bright light helps the actual tears go away as well as holding my breath for a count of 5. \n\nThe actual emotions I lock down and say I will feel this later, but I have to get though the next 2 minutes and I'll be okay. Then it's the next 2 minutes, and the next. It takes practice and a physical outlet later but worth it for those unpleasant and aggressive conversations that are sometimes unavoidable.\n\nGood luck", "I am a 26 year old female and I have this issue as well. I try to take long, slow deep breaths to slow down the adrenaline rushing through my body. But in the end, emotions are natural, it isn't good to keep them hidden.. ", "Honestly the best thing I ever did for this was to start doing Jiu jitsu. There is something about the phsical exertion and problem solving that you learn in the heat of the moment that makes frustrating or tough situations in every day life seem silly by comparison. I mean I draw on the fact that nothing I do each day is going to be more difficult than a trained martial artist trying to choke me out or break my limbs. By comparison it makes petty arguments seem just that , petty.", "Honestly just taking a deep breath, and keep breathing deep and take a second to process what is going on", "Hey girl, I'm not sure I have any good tips for you but I thought you would like to know that there is some biology behind this that you don't need to be ashamed about. According to A study done in 2012 women have 60% more prolactin than males-A hormone that stimulates the production of milk after childbirth. Emotional tears have a significant amount of prolactin in them which could explain why women on average tend to cry more than men.\n\n\nhttp://www.omicsonline.org/scientific-reports/srep476.php\n\nhttp://www.livescience.com/51183-tim-hunt-why-women-cry.html\n\nYou do you, and If all else fails, look at the light", "Hello friend! Hmm I can only speak from personal experience, but I hope it helps you a little. Whenever emotions start to build up within me, I try to be logical. Why am I feeling this way? What caused things to be the way they are? Is there anything I can do to solve this situation? Is it worth spending energy over or should I just move on and forget about it?\n\nThat's usually how I remain calm during stressful situations.\n\nNow when I'm confronted by happy stuff (especially funny ones), I end up having tears of joy lol! Now that's weird, but hey at least happy tears and better than angry/sad tears. \n\nGood luck and I hope you can somehow find a way to control yours :)", "Hello OP, I'm not sure I have advice for you per se vs. for your SO. My SO struggles with this, and as we've matured together I've found the following helpful steps for me to take in having a productive discussion when emotions are high:\n\n* withold my sarcastic retorts. She is already emotional, you hurt her feelings so you can feel clever, it doesn't usually progress the discussion.\n* no mocking her emotions, but also no allowing her to tell me how I feel (this is a biggie). I don't ask her to interpret or guess my feelings, I share them. This is a trust thing I think, in that she has to trust that I will share them vs 'making her guess'.\n* Do not allow myself to turn an emotional discussion into a logical diatribe. I may find that an easier path, she does not.\n* one topic at a time, with pauses to allow her full thoughts in response while we talk. No piling on item after item when I'm angry. She finds it overwhelming, shuts down, cries.\n* Sometimes we save these talks for when we are doing a household chore together (folding laundry, washing dishes, etc). We can talk but get a lil distraction/distance by doing something we do habitually. We also \"take a breaK\" from the talking to mull over everything while finishing the chore.\n* If it has gotten to the point where she is crying or we can't communicate we table it, sleep on it, and then she'll text/msg/email me at work with her thoughts. This allows her to put them down fully, and express herself with less stress. This one works for us, it may not work for everyone. We don't argue back and forth, I typically just thank her for telling me, and tell her we will talk about it that evening.\n\nThat's what works for us (mostly) :)", "Have a look into the philosophy of Stoicism. It involves mindfulness, managing how reality affects you etc. \n\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/stoicism\n\n[I just signed up for this online course.](http://donaldrobertson.name/)", "From a logical standpoint, it would help to just approach the problem you're trying to solve like any other day-to-day issue. Realize that all the extra emotion isn't going to help you solve the problem, and focus on finding the best way to articulate the point you need to get across. Added emotion can be of use in some situations, but unless you're specifically trying to come across that way, you don't gain anything from it. Emotion won't help in a discussion based on facts, no matter how hard those truths might be. \n\nTake a few deep breaths, focus on the message, and deliver your points in a collected manner. Don't try to blurt everything out at once in a huge cascade. Take it point-by-point, and add plenty of pauses for the other person to interject. \n\nYou'll focus more on making a good case and rebutting their responses than getting bottled-up and trying to stanch the symptoms of your frustration without doing anything to relieve their cause. ", "For your SO in particular. Explain it. I know you have, but repeating it a few times helps. Explaining that them getting more defensive doesn't help. and, perhaps most importantly, share some stories about silly times you've started crying. Bonus points if you can do this casually like \"Oh man, and then she asked if I had smaller bills and the guy behind me was grumpy and I could barely stop myself from crying.\"\n\nIt can be really hard and I don't know what to do about it myself but share my experience. My SO's had a lot of tiem to work with me and he knows that some things make me cry easily, so when I start getting upset, he's calm and tries his best to let me speak, despite getting super squeaky and having trouble saying more than 2 or 3 words at a time. and on my part.. I take deep breaths and say one or two words at a time, and don't force more than that. I try to keep my tone steady even if tears are running down my face.... so sometiems it comes out like: \"What I'm.... trying to say is..... that.... The dishes... Need.... Need to be b... boxed up... SO that.... the lemmings.... don't jump... jump on them...\"\n\nI guess tha'ts not all that helpful, but good luck.\n\nfor your SO especially, if the two of you are articulate via text, you MIGHT consider emailing or instant messanging. my hubby and I do that sometimes. It gives us the chance to look at the WORDS and not focus on the tone of voice, and we can easily look up a few lines and reread some of the things said before rather than having to remember, which helps clear up some misunderstandings ", "For me, (I'm a teen, take with a grain of salt) I find writing it out helps, so I can get all my thoughts out without another person interrupting, or crying, since I can take a brake. This is what I did when I was down in the dumps after my grandpa died a bit ago.", "For me the key is telling someone I need time to think about shit acc by that I really mean I need time to get ask my emotions out so I can logically ava rationally approach the situation when I'm ready. Works most of the time.", "Emotions are natural. No matter how hard you flex your prefrontal cortex to ignore your emotions, your animal brain (back brain) won't let you do it in a healthy way. \n\n This is why kids throw temper tantrums, and ten agers are emotional over the smallest shit. The pre frontal isn't developed enough yet to deal with emotions. \n\nTry some EMDR therapy. The are childhood learned behaviors or reactions to certain triggers. Not SJW triggers damnit! But reactions to emotional events. You learn how to control your emotions and model them from the way your parents handles things. Most likely why everyone does it in your family. You can go back to a \"tragic\" event that cause this garunteed every time, look at it as an adult vice as a child, and reevaluate the situation. Once you identify what causes the emotion (trigger) you can learn to react in a certain way.\n\n I suggest you ask your SO to do this with you but independently. If you grow as a person from it you will grow without them and often leave them behind emotionally. This therapy makes you very angry at first then eventually the severity of things fade and you have a better more adult reaction.", "Dude here, early 20s. I suffer from a similar affliction. I find rubbing my tongue on the roof of my mouth (like I'm trying to avoid brain freeze) can help me \"swallow the lump in my throat\" and if I focus on speaking in a deeper voice then it trembles less. As for the tears, I just try to push through. Hope that helps. ", "Distract yourself. Play some video games, watch TV or even go outside for a walk. Distracting yourself out of a bad situation / event is a good way to not get emotional about it and you'll forget about it, at least for a while", "Detaching yourself from your physical and emotional state. Takes practice but you become aware of your being as if you are watching a movie; the same way you can feel emotionally invested in a movie yet distanced from it. \n\nTaking deep breaths makes you conscious and occupied about your breathing. Slow, deep breaths are part of a parasympathetic response that sort of counteracts the sympathetic response of emotional stress. \n\nThese are central ideas in Buddhism, so if you are interested, look into that not as a religion but as a way to deal with problems in your life. We recognize the \"thirst\" to vent, cry, and feel, for example, and we are aware of this thirst. We do not try to stop it or fight it, we simply recognize the thirst as a temporary state like all things in life. The idea that it isn't good to bottle up your feelings doesn't exist in Buddhist philosophy because feelings aren't some form of currency that can go into debt, but the constant fighting against those feelings is what causes emotional wear. Instead of trying to stop or lessen feeling, we seek to become more mindful of feeling. \n\nRemember that crying is a natural response of the body to stress. It's a normal condition just like feeling sleep pressure when you're sleep deprived, or hungry when you haven't eaten. It's a response to help the individual and people around them realize that something is wrong. \n\nThe way my SO communicates to me when she is feeling stressed and wavering, she takes a piece of paper and writes down her thoughts and hands them to me. It helps with communication and creating a sense of temporality.", "Despite all the responses being well-intentioned, they're all bullshit. Sadly, as you've probably already realized, your reaction is biologically encoded - it's genetic. You can minimize and reduce but you'll never be able to completely remove your body's reaction to stressful situations.\n\nI take it you're a much more deep-feeling and empathic person in general compared to others? Maybe more passionate about others and their feelings and causes?\n", "Conversely, I have an extremely hard time getting emotional over almost anything. My parents discouraged crying or such weaknesses. My wife is sometimes upset that I don't really show emotion.", "Check, record you mooodiness and daily stability level. Daily m", "Breathe. Seriously--breathe deeply, slowly, and release it slowly. Practice what is known as \"belly breathing\", where you feel like you are filling up your abdomen with air. Maybe search the Internet for tips. \n\nPeople have a tendency to not breathe properly in stressful situations. They either breathe too much (hyperventilation) or not enough. This can trick your body into thinking it is suffocating, which only adds to your stress. \n\nM", "Bite the inside of your lip, it will help you focus. Then take a moment, deep breath to center and decide exactly what you want to say then say it. I get like this when I'm overwhelmed. I find biting my lip and taking a pause helps me feel more in control", "Assertion training maybe. There's bound to be groups which do that in almost every large town or city.", "As someone who just broke through this struggle: all you can do is remove yourself from the emotions you're feeling consciously, which is no easy task. M", "Are you me??? This is exactly how I am, but I do it when incredibly happy too. Any strong emotion results in me crying. Sucks balls. ", "Another actor chiming in- so much of it is physical. Long, slow breath out through pursed lips, long slow breath in through the nose. The first big breath in usually quivers, but this controls the speed of your exhale, obviously, and in doing so it gently manipulates your diaphragm, which is the source of that shaky-choking-breath feeling. \n\nAnd this is a silly trick and super specific but it has helped me and scene partners in the past- in scenes where someone is always prone to laugh, or in a scene where one may become more emotional than is warranted: think of a paperclip. Visualize a paperclip a foot or so away from the front of your face. Look at it and think about it. There's nothing funny, sad, or otherwise remarkable about a paperclip. It's always helped bring me back down to earth in an oddly consistent way. ", "Ah! This happens to me as well. It's really when I'm the most angry. I always thought \"it's a girl thing\" and it sucks. I'm reading through comments about trying not to think about crying when you're mad but I promise I don't. I'm just engaged in the argument and from one line out of my mouth to the next, bam! Wavering voice and tears.\n\n", "A quote I keep in front of me every day:\n\n>Ignore the thought. Feel the emotion, until it resolves into peace. \n\nBasically a rephrasing of all the other great advice here, but different people need to hear things in different ways so I'm offering it in case it works for you or anyone else reading. \n\nWhen you're feeling shit, don't focus on the thoughts of the projections or the calculations you are making. They are side effects, and they are coloured by the lens of whatever you're feeling. \n\nJust focus on what you are feeling and why. Are you angry? What are you really angry at? It's really easy for humans to experience an inconsistency in our sense of selves, and find a way to pin that on something external (someone else mentioned feeling righteous about your emotion). Sometimes you might notice that, or other times you might really just be disrupted by someone else's actions. \n\nEither way, get the emotion of of the way first - just ride it through to catharsis, and then deal with your actual thoughts once you have a handle on it. \n\n\n", "0 - Strive for objectiveness in all situations; that get's rid of the emotional subjectivity that makes us have unwanted or less than optimal responses.\n\n1 - Make your very first response, one of a slow deep breath with your body as open as possible ( head up, neck tall, chest out and abs tights).\n \n2 - Try laughing at the frustration. Im starting to succeed but im the king of bad luck. When frustrating things happen, I just laugh, and it's slowly become a natural thing that calms and soothes me.\n\n3 - realize it doesn't matter in the long run. Remind yourself of that. Every time you do, the time it takes to feel better gets shorter and you can articulate yourself easier and easier.\n\n4 - you have nothing to prove to anyone. No need for defensiveness.\n\n5 - Say less, listen more. Even when you want to introject with commentary or your POV, fight the urge. Listen more. Silence is ok if need be too\n\n6 - practice, practice practice ", " You have perfectly articulated a problem I have suffered from for years, but did not have the words to express. Thank You so much!!" ]

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[ "How to raise morale around the office? We're getting into the busy season here at work, and everyone is going to be very stressed for the next few months. This happens every year. We all get very busy and end up putting in 60+ hours a week, and naturally stress levels go through the roof resulting in bickering and the occasional shouting match. Everyone is fine with it because it's when we bring in the most income, but I'd like to do what I can to help the team stay happy, focused, and productive while avoiding burn outs.\nI'm not above putting in a small budget to help out with this. Last year I would bring in donuts on Fridays, but people started acting like it was an expected entitlement that donuts would show up on Fridays.\nI'd prefer doing something that could ease team stress level than being donut guy one day a week.\nWhat are some things you have done to improve everyone at your work's attitude, and how could it be applied somewhere else?\n\n", "How to raise morale around the office? We're getting into the busy season here at work, and everyone is going to be very stressed for the next few months. This happens every year. We all get very busy and end up putting in 60+ hours a week, and naturally stress levels go through the roof resulting in bickering and the occasional shouting match. Everyone is fine with it because it's when we bring in the most income, but I'd like to do what I can to help the team stay happy, focused, and productive while avoiding burn outs.\nI'm not above putting in a small budget to help out with this. Last year I would bring in donuts on Fridays, but people started acting like it was an expected entitlement that donuts would show up on Fridays.\nI'd prefer doing something that could ease team stress level than being donut guy one day a week.\nWhat are some things you have done to improve everyone at your work's attitude, and how could it be applied somewhere else?\n\n", "How to raise morale around the office? We're getting into the busy season here at work, and everyone is going to be very stressed for the next few months. This happens every year. We all get very busy and end up putting in 60+ hours a week, and naturally stress levels go through the roof resulting in bickering and the occasional shouting match. Everyone is fine with it because it's when we bring in the most income, but I'd like to do what I can to help the team stay happy, focused, and productive while avoiding burn outs.\nI'm not above putting in a small budget to help out with this. Last year I would bring in donuts on Fridays, but people started acting like it was an expected entitlement that donuts would show up on Fridays.\nI'd prefer doing something that could ease team stress level than being donut guy one day a week.\nWhat are some things you have done to improve everyone at your work's attitude, and how could it be applied somewhere else?\n\n", "How to raise morale around the office? We're getting into the busy season here at work, and everyone is going to be very stressed for the next few months. This happens every year. We all get very busy and end up putting in 60+ hours a week, and naturally stress levels go through the roof resulting in bickering and the occasional shouting match. Everyone is fine with it because it's when we bring in the most income, but I'd like to do what I can to help the team stay happy, focused, and productive while avoiding burn outs.\nI'm not above putting in a small budget to help out with this. Last year I would bring in donuts on Fridays, but people started acting like it was an expected entitlement that donuts would show up on Fridays.\nI'd prefer doing something that could ease team stress level than being donut guy one day a week.\nWhat are some things you have done to improve everyone at your work's attitude, and how could it be applied somewhere else?\n\n", "How to raise morale around the office? We're getting into the busy season here at work, and everyone is going to be very stressed for the next few months. This happens every year. We all get very busy and end up putting in 60+ hours a week, and naturally stress levels go through the roof resulting in bickering and the occasional shouting match. Everyone is fine with it because it's when we bring in the most income, but I'd like to do what I can to help the team stay happy, focused, and productive while avoiding burn outs.\nI'm not above putting in a small budget to help out with this. Last year I would bring in donuts on Fridays, but people started acting like it was an expected entitlement that donuts would show up on Fridays.\nI'd prefer doing something that could ease team stress level than being donut guy one day a week.\nWhat are some things you have done to improve everyone at your work's attitude, and how could it be applied somewhere else?\n\n", "How to raise morale around the office? We're getting into the busy season here at work, and everyone is going to be very stressed for the next few months. This happens every year. We all get very busy and end up putting in 60+ hours a week, and naturally stress levels go through the roof resulting in bickering and the occasional shouting match. Everyone is fine with it because it's when we bring in the most income, but I'd like to do what I can to help the team stay happy, focused, and productive while avoiding burn outs.\nI'm not above putting in a small budget to help out with this. Last year I would bring in donuts on Fridays, but people started acting like it was an expected entitlement that donuts would show up on Fridays.\nI'd prefer doing something that could ease team stress level than being donut guy one day a week.\nWhat are some things you have done to improve everyone at your work's attitude, and how could it be applied somewhere else?\n\n" ]

[ "Hire more staff so they don't have to work 60 hrs a week. Did you seriously think doughnuts compensated for a soul crushing work schedule? ", "Someone needs to address the underlying issue here.\n\nStress levels \"through the roof\" is not healthy for work, for employees or the employees' families. It takes it's toll (hence all the bickering and shouting). Over sixty hours a week is not healthy - that is how people become ill.\n\nUnion up and sort the real problem out for everyone.\n\n", "Not being in management puts you at a disadvantage but I'll share what I used to do.\n\nFor one, people like to be recognized for their efforts. As an employer I let no good deed go unnoticed. If someone is putting something extra into their day I should do the same. One thing that everyone seemed to enjoy was having some flexibility in their schedule. Come in late, work later, come on early, leave earler. This went over bigger than raises with employees who had kids. I also made sure that I asked about family and if something was coming up like a dance recital, ball game, or whatever I knew about it. I did everything I could to make sure that their parents got to be there. \n\nTaking employees out to lunch. One at a time. It gave me a chance to stay in touch with what was going on with them.\n\nCasual dress allowed. What do I care if their not wearing shoes or show up in pajamas? Not one bit so long as what needed to get done got done. \n\nI'm sure you can think of more. If you're not in charge talk to those who are. Maybe they'll buy it, maybe not. Nothing will happen unless you bring it up.\n\n", "Just from my experience generally I know middle management or lower doesn't always have the authority to just 'hire more people' and I'm guessing that's probably the situation you are in.\n\nOne of the best things I could suggest is to make these people feel like their hard work now is going to pay off for them *personally*. This would make the awful hours less awful when they feel like it is a personal investment.\n\nVacation is generally the best way to do this. Work harder now, no work later is a big selling bonus. Have you ever heard people talking about the 4 day work weeks, where many people would prefer to work 4 10hr days instead of 5 8hr days? I think it's a similar concept. \n\nAlso, given the stress of the awful season, [vacation is really beneficial](http://www.stufftoblowyourmind.com/podcasts/vacation-tribulation/). Even for the business.\n\nThere would be a lot of different ways to implement this, depending on what exactly is going on. Just for example, a 1:2 ratio. Every 1 hour you work of overtime nets you 2 hours of vacation time. Or a blanket vacation reward: everyone gains 2 weeks. Or implement no-work-Fridays for a month after the season ends where people aren't required to come in. \n\nAlso - even though you think people feel 'entitled' to small benefits if they become regular... that's because THEY ARE. They are working their asses off to net the company a ton of money. The very minimum the company can do is provide some kind of food. \n\nI'd recommend extending it further - have lots of fruits, veggies, nuts, drinks and snacks in the break room regularly. Have sandwiches brought in for lunch sometimes, bring in breakfast sometimes, cater dinner sometimes, bring in a ice cream bar (my company did this once, totally surprising). If you make it something different each time (instead of doughnut-fridays) people will enjoy it more.\n\nBut food alone isn't going to make their pain 'worth it', and you'll still have problems. The company is benefiting massively off of them. If they don't personally benefit in some way - whether that's benefits, raises, bonuses or whatever - then you won't see improvements.", "I manage a team as well, and when we have crunch time, which is rare, we provide snacks, drinks, and dinner if they are staying past 8pm. Every day. \n\nI'm not surprised that if they are working 60 hours a week for months on end they feel entitled to some freaking donuts. Quite frankly, that sounds abusive. I've done that kind of schedule at past jobs and it's a terrible way to live. I would never expect it of my team.\n\nYou probably don't have the ability to hire temps, but if I were you I would try as hard as possible to get that done.", "I had a whole thing written out and I did something and it was gone, so I am going to try and remember what I had written.\n\nI think one of the most important things is not to be a boss, or a manager, but be a leader. Work side by side with them. Don't get caught up in titles. Show them that just because you may have a more senior title than they do, that you don't think you are any more important than they are. \n\nTake time to have one on one meetings with the team. Just to tell them they are doing a great job, and you really appreciate them and the hard work they are doing. Try and have a team meeting once a week, with the whole team. Talk about the previous week and what they accomplished and the week ahead. Encourage people to bring ideas to the meeting, or just to talk about whatever is on their mind. Make it open forum. \n\nHave an open door policy. Let them know if they ever want to talk about anything, that your door is always open, whether it's work related or not. \n\nYour team should be your #1 priority. Everything else is secondary. Show them you care and appreciate everything they do.\n\nPush to get additional staff hired. It's not acceptable to make your team work 60 hours a week for months at a time. Overtime should be a voluntary thing, especially when we are talking about that much of it, for that extended of a period. People should not have to work that much OT, unless they want to.\n \nRead this book - http://smile.amazon.com/dp/B0058DRUV6" ]

[ 7, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to take life not so God damn seriously? As I've gotten older and older, my attitude towards the world and others has gotten more and more serious. I'm giving way too many shits about everything from what people think of me, to how society is shit, to how much I hate social media and selfies and shit like that. \n\nAny tips or tricks would be appreciated. \n\nThanks", "How to take life not so God damn seriously? As I've gotten older and older, my attitude towards the world and others has gotten more and more serious. I'm giving way too many shits about everything from what people think of me, to how society is shit, to how much I hate social media and selfies and shit like that. \n\nAny tips or tricks would be appreciated. \n\nThanks", "How to take life not so God damn seriously? As I've gotten older and older, my attitude towards the world and others has gotten more and more serious. I'm giving way too many shits about everything from what people think of me, to how society is shit, to how much I hate social media and selfies and shit like that. \n\nAny tips or tricks would be appreciated. \n\nThanks", "How to take life not so God damn seriously? As I've gotten older and older, my attitude towards the world and others has gotten more and more serious. I'm giving way too many shits about everything from what people think of me, to how society is shit, to how much I hate social media and selfies and shit like that. \n\nAny tips or tricks would be appreciated. \n\nThanks", "How to take life not so God damn seriously? As I've gotten older and older, my attitude towards the world and others has gotten more and more serious. I'm giving way too many shits about everything from what people think of me, to how society is shit, to how much I hate social media and selfies and shit like that. \n\nAny tips or tricks would be appreciated. \n\nThanks", "How to take life not so God damn seriously? As I've gotten older and older, my attitude towards the world and others has gotten more and more serious. I'm giving way too many shits about everything from what people think of me, to how society is shit, to how much I hate social media and selfies and shit like that. \n\nAny tips or tricks would be appreciated. \n\nThanks", "How to take life not so God damn seriously? As I've gotten older and older, my attitude towards the world and others has gotten more and more serious. I'm giving way too many shits about everything from what people think of me, to how society is shit, to how much I hate social media and selfies and shit like that. \n\nAny tips or tricks would be appreciated. \n\nThanks" ]

[ "That's called cynicism. It goes away when you accept that it's natural to think this way. Your personality is rejecting the societal norms of the moment. \n\nJust realize that you are not in control of how the outside world moves on. Just let others do as they please as long as it's not hurting you or anyone in your sphere. ", "just remember that no matter what we all wind up dead. will depress you for a bit but then you will think \"fuck it\"", "Just say \"fuck it.\" Don't use social media. Look at the ugly things in life as well as the beautiful things. Read the Bhagavad Gita. ", "Take your ten fingers.\n\nOn your left hand, use each finger to determine what you car about TODAY. Eventually, they go to weeks and maybe the month. But for now, let's get through the day.\n\nThumb is a NECESSARY evil\nPointer is a goal\nMiddle Finger for the longest or most unforgiving task\nRing finger for don't forget\nPinky for short task\n\nFor example, my left hand is as follows for today:\nThumb - I have to pay my student loan payment today (necessary task)\n\nPointer - I want to complete my prototypes today (a task I WANT to achieve)\n\nMiddle Finger - I need to deep clean my kitchen (a long task that I can say \"fuck it\" too for now if I want but it'll be on tomorrow's hand saying the same thing)\n\nRing finger - I can't forget to call my mom (I'll get around, like a ring, to it)\n\nShort task - I need to power wash the driveway (short and sweet)\n\nANYTHING not pertaining to or outside of those task are none of my concern TODAY. Of course there will be other things to do BUT they don't take higher priority of these things. Once these things are done, I have a hand to give! But until then I'm (time and attention) tied up.\n\nNow for your right hand, won't have the same symbols but just as important. These are the five things you care about the most--everything else is noise. For example, my right hand:\n\nHealth being physical, mental, emotional--\n\nSpiritual Health\nMy, Family's and Friend's Health\nHouse's Health\nBusiness Health\nMotorcycle's health\n\nAnd these change about, wait for it, every five years. If you would have asked me 5 years ago I would say:\n\nMy grades\nMy jobs\nMy bike\nMy SO\nMy beer and bass\n\n(Quite selfish I was but could afford to be)\n\nAs broad as the right hand things are, they are *tangible*. You should be able to say whether or not those things are good or not with a YES and NO. Not \"well this affects that so it's all connected\"--NO. They're either good or they're bad. Compartmentalize. They are each their own.\n\n\n\nThis helps me--\n\nTL;DR Anything outside of those ten cardinal task and things are just noise that can cancel itself out. I have neither the time energy or ~~fucks~~ fingers to give.\n\n\n", "What works for me is to volunteer. Find something that you are passionate about and put in a few hours a month helping people or a cause. It actually gives you balance on your life, appreciation for what you have and how even in the crappiest situation, there is always hope.", "Focus on you - not the rest of the world - chances are, there are probably quite a few areas in your own life that need a little attention.", " * Get off social media, I have facebook but ONLY for close family members to keep in touch easier.\n * Determine what you are most giving a sheet about when it comes to people thinking of you, and see if there is something mild you can work on. Fixing one area will help this outlook a lot.\n * Take some [of this](https://www.amazon.com/St-Johns-Wort-Capsules-Concentrated/dp/B00NSGHJK2)" ]

[ 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n", "How to deodorize shoes I've tried freezing them, dousing them in vodka, letting them sit for weeks, pouring baking soda inside, silica packets, and putting them through the washing machine. Nothing works. I've currently got four pair of shoes I can't wear at all because the smell is so strong.\n\nI wash my feet daily, etc. Nothing gross. My shoes. Just. Reek. \n\nAnyone have the cure for the shoe stank of death?\n\n" ]

[ "My son has stinky feet/shoes that make my hallway smell like death if let on their own. What I do is spray the inside of the shoes with Lysol Disinfectant or Dr. Scholls Odour Destroyer every day or two. It doesn't need a lot just a quick spritz making sure you point the spray into the toe area. Now we can actually breath when walking in the door.", "The smell is caused by hue, bacteria and fungus.\nI tested plenty of products and methods. (freezing, spraying (Sholl and others), ethanol, drying in drier, etc....)\nAnd ended up with HG chlorine-based mold remover. I prefer HG (http://www.diy.com/departments/hg-mould-remover-spray-500-ml/136829_BQ.prd)\nJust spray shoes thoroughly from inside, let it work for a few seconds, wash it in clean water and let them dry.\nThere will be a short-lasting chlorine smell, but that's away after one walk.\nBe aware that chlorine may decolorize some textiles.\nYou can also shortly spray your feet but wash it fast as it may be irritating.", "Hello, lifelong sweaty, smelly foot owner here. This is my system:\n\n- use a foot spray day. Odor Eaters, Gold Bond, whatever is on sale - they pretty much are all meant to do the same thing. Less messy and more comfortable than powder.\n- if your feet are really sweaty, use regular antiperspirant on them as well! You can use a stick or roll-on but the spray or lotion variety might be easier to use (but harder to find).\n- get washable insoles. I like the Dr. Scholl's with a fabric top (rather than the plastic-y top on most of the gel insoles). Wear a different pair every day and wash them with your clothes - just pop them in a mesh laundry bag and air dry them. \n- make sure your socks are getting totally stink-free when you wash them. If not, try a longer wash, extra rinse, vinegar, different detergent, Oxyclean, etc.\n- related: make sure you're wearing socks!! You can find socks small enough to go with almost any shoe. For things like sandals, try a stick-on insole like [Summer Soles](http://www.summersoles.com/).\n- keep your feet REALLY clean. Not just \"soap up in shower.\" Scrub with a washcloth or pouf or your hand (make sure you scrub between your toes), use a nail brush on your toenails, use a pumice to get rid of dead skin, clip your toenails regularly, use the little file on your nail clippers to clean out under and around the edges. If you don't shower daily, wash your feet each night or each morning. Or both! \n- don't buy cheap, crappy shoes and avoid synthetic materials. A pair of canvas sneakers will breath a lot better than those plastic foam Crocs. \n\nFWIW (no disrespect to other commenters), I've tried all the powders, dryer sheets, freezer, and every commercial product that is meant to be placed inside a shoe. None of it worked for me. The smell comes from bacteria eating the dead skin and sweat, so it makes sense that keeping your feet and shoes as sweat- and dead skin-free as possible would help the most! ", "Put a dryer sheet in each one. You can leave them in there when you wear your shoes. I've found this to work quite well. ", "Had similar issue with my shoes as well. The following helped - \n1. Fresh pair of socks every day\n2. Make sure you let the shoes dry overnight (since you have 4 pairs, that should not be an issue)\n3. Best of all - buy a big container of hand sanitizer (you can get cheap one in Walmart). After your shower or washing your feet, apply a generous amount of it and massage your feet with it. This helped me immensely. ", "Gold bond foot powder was always my first recommendation, though often times the issue persisted due to damp socks/no socks. If your feet sweat profusely during the day you may have to powder your shoes & feet multiple times. At which point changing your socks would be ideal as well. \n\nSame thing goes if you're wearing shoes/boots that are consistently getting wet. It is always better to change into dry clothing then to try and tough it out.\n\nArmy Medic from the Swamp Pit of America.", "Fresh Fogger Shoe Spray. It works for me, I suggest you try it out :) \n\nLink: Sof Sole Fresh Fogger Shoe, Gym Bag and Locker Deodorizer Spray, 3-ounce https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01BSO9K7K/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_mQJuzbX3CGE13\n\n", "Lots of good ideas, many of the usual remedies so I'll approach it differently...\n\nWhat do you do for work that causes your shoes to smell? \n\nIf it's just from being on your feet and your feet are sweating, what kind of shoes are you wearing? Could you opt for a more breathable shoe?\n\nMaking something to put in your shoes to dry & deodorize when you're not wearing them is crucial. Save those silica gel packets from things you purchase and use those, perhaps making some satchels filled with dryer sheets, activated charcoal (can find at pet stores with the aquarium stuff), baking powder, newspaper, peppermint tea bags, etc. Rotate which shoes you're wearing so the others have time to dry and deodorize. \n\nAlso, where do you put your shoes when you're not wearing them? A nice, sunny spot would be ideal, as sunlight is a great killer of mold and bacteria. If you can treat them to some UV light as well, that would be helpful. Otherwise put them in front of a fan to thoroughly dry.\n\nSometimes it helps not just to think about what products to use to kill the smell, but if you can change what shoes you wear, or where you're storing them, that could make the difference. ", "I've read somewhere that putting dried up used fragrance tea bags work. \nAfter I've drunk any fruit tea(bag) , i dry them out and leave it in my shoe when I'm not using it. Smells like rose and green tea after awhile", "Good odoreater insoles are the only thing that really work for me, event then it is short term. Once the stink is in them, it is too late really. They need to be fully dried, regularly cleaned, insoles changed *before* they start to smell.", "Change your socks daily and wash them properly. May be wash them with Dettol. \nChange your socks after every workout if you are into it.\nI normally put crumbled news paper in my shoes when i am not using them. So that paper can soak dampness.\n\nIf nothing works you can use spray as mentioned in other comments. but it is just chemical to reduce smell. \n", "Soak them in vodka. Some super cheap stuff will work. My mom did this with my football cleats and gloves back when I was in highschool and it worked wonders! Then wash with dish soap to get rid of the vodka smell. ", "Smelly shoes are a symptom - you need to fight the root cause. Your feet. Go speak with a podiatrist about the issue, you may have a bacterial/fungal infection causing the smelly feet.", "Only one suggestion for bleach? That's my go-to for any *seriously bad* smell problem. Dilute some bleach and spray it inside the shoe. Let it dry. Spray it again. Repeat as necessary. ", "My grandma ysed to wash my feet with a leaves infusion of pirul tree and also put my shoes under the sun forma a whole day so that the onside get dry", "I use Boot Bananas, works fine :) But I guess shoes with synthetic materials might be ruined at some point smell wise. Maybe try with the next pair?", "I put a small amount of 'Shake and Vac' carpet powder in the shoes after wearing them when my feet would be sweaty, i haven't noticed any bad smells from them since.\n", "For me, changing shoes every day has worked. I have two work shoes that I change every day. Then when I get home, I have running shoes for the gym, going out shoes and flip flops for being around the house. ", "Did you look in a store for a product or have you only tried home made remedies? Dr. Scholls odor-x destroyer.", "Bottom line, change your socks. \n\nIt might be too late for the shoes you've ruined but if you never wear a pair of socks more than once before tossing them into the hamper, bacteria won't build and your feet and shoes won't stink. \n\nYes you'll need to own 30 pair of socks if you only do laundry once a month. ", "1. Get a small ozone machine. \n\n2. Get a box that is approximately of a size to hold a pair of shoes and the small ozone machine. \n\n3. Close it up while routing the wire through the box flaps and plug it in. \n\n4. Let run for 1 hour. If smell not gone continue ozone for another hour. \n\n5. Put this near a window as you don't want to breath the ozone. ", "Wash them with bicarbonate and then once they dry, leave them in the freezer for a day or two (in a ziplock bag). It sounds crazy, but it has worked for me.", "If you don't care about color fading, use hydrogen peroxide. If you don't care if they're white, bleach with hot water.", "You have a fungal/bacterial issue. The problem can really be a serious one, if you say that your feet are clean. Try cleaning your diet, try a low/no carb diet add digestive enzimes and probiotics and report back. That's what helped me when I was in your shoes 😀", "The BEST way I've found to get that Terrible odor out of tennis shoes, and I ONLY do this my Tennis shoes. And you DO need to wear gloves if you choose to do this... At your own risk of course but it does work.. Like... Instantly...\n\n1. Buy the blue stuff, yes I mean the stuff they use in portable toilets, RV toilets, camping toilets etc. You can usually get it at Walmart, Lowe's, tractor supply, etc. It's basically holding tank solution. Wear gloves. Get a spray bottle... Dilute it.... I don't know 50/50 is what I usually do. I spray this on the inside of my tennis shoes ONLY because ... Well its blue. I've never had it stain the insides of my shoes after I get finished running them through a wash cycle.....but just be aware that you don't really want to soak your shoes in it... It doesn't take much.... I spray the inside sole of the shoe all the way along the back side of the tongue of the shoe and the side walls and the back. I also make sure to take out the removable souls I guess that's what they're called\n\nAnyway I lightly spray mine on the inside wearing gloves, I usually let them sit for about 30 minutes Stick them in the washing machine .... By themselves of course, put some liquid detergent actually on top of the shoes in the washer. watch them on warm or hot whatever... I put mine in the dryer on low or no heat after that .. or let them air dry. But I have to say after you spray the insides of them the scent is gone pretty much immediately I mean think about it It's basically eating up people's pee and poop in portalets. So I can pretty much take care of whatever horrible smells your tennis shoes have managed to end up producing after time. \n\nPS do not drink the blue liquid or put your face in it or try to smoke it or any ridiculous crap that people somehow managed to do every single time they are given specific instructions. Okay thanks bye.", "Keep us updated, OP! I love experiments like these, where household remedies and tips are involved. I'd love to try these out and collect data, but I only have one pair of shoes. So I'm living this through you!", "I read if the shoes are new it’s a good idea to get an old pair of socks and add 2tbsp baking soda to each tip of the sock. Then tie each into a knot and place inside the shoe each night. Has anyone done this? Does it work? And do you just put it in each shoe by itself or do you need to stuff the shoes with something else like newspaper or a washcloth or something that fills up the shoe as well?", "I know you've already got a ton of answers, but i'd really suggest you just spend the $10 on Crep Pills. I use them to preserve the value of my more expensive sneakers and they work very well.\n\n" ]

[ 43, 22, 17, 13, 11, 11, 10, 9, 8, 8, 4, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to wash a knitted blanket? I have a beautiful knitted blanket that was given to me by my great-aunt. However, I haven't washed it ever and it's pretty obvious. It's collecting stains, dust, and general debris and I figure it's time to get it taken care of. How can I safely wash it without ruining the integrity of it?", "How to wash a knitted blanket? I have a beautiful knitted blanket that was given to me by my great-aunt. However, I haven't washed it ever and it's pretty obvious. It's collecting stains, dust, and general debris and I figure it's time to get it taken care of. How can I safely wash it without ruining the integrity of it?" ]

[ "Let it soak in the bathtub with warm water and soap. Let it soak an hour or so, if the water is really gross, repeat. Rinse clean when your satisfied, don’t wring it dry but squeeze it dry as much as possible then lay flat to dry. I’ve had success with this, and on some sturdier knitted things after the bathtub I put it in the washer on spin only cycle to get more water out.", "I would wash it on a low temperature programme, then dry it as flat as possible (on a table or something) so it doesn’t “hang” under its own weight." ]

[ 5, 0 ]

[ "How to be more bubbly and outgoing I'm trying to get a job and I have been training at a cafe and they told me I must be more confident, positive, bubbly and more comfortable by tomorrow. I really need this job!!\n", "How to be more bubbly and outgoing I'm trying to get a job and I have been training at a cafe and they told me I must be more confident, positive, bubbly and more comfortable by tomorrow. I really need this job!!\n", "How to be more bubbly and outgoing I'm trying to get a job and I have been training at a cafe and they told me I must be more confident, positive, bubbly and more comfortable by tomorrow. I really need this job!!\n", "How to be more bubbly and outgoing I'm trying to get a job and I have been training at a cafe and they told me I must be more confident, positive, bubbly and more comfortable by tomorrow. I really need this job!!\n", "How to be more bubbly and outgoing I'm trying to get a job and I have been training at a cafe and they told me I must be more confident, positive, bubbly and more comfortable by tomorrow. I really need this job!!\n", "How to be more bubbly and outgoing I'm trying to get a job and I have been training at a cafe and they told me I must be more confident, positive, bubbly and more comfortable by tomorrow. I really need this job!!\n", "How to be more bubbly and outgoing I'm trying to get a job and I have been training at a cafe and they told me I must be more confident, positive, bubbly and more comfortable by tomorrow. I really need this job!!\n", "How to be more bubbly and outgoing I'm trying to get a job and I have been training at a cafe and they told me I must be more confident, positive, bubbly and more comfortable by tomorrow. I really need this job!!\n" ]

[ "Never stop asking questions of other people, and force interest by becoming an active listener, don't ask 10 random questions... ask 1 question, and then 9 accompanying questions that drill deeper into question one. ", "Be genuine, be genuinely curious. Good talkative people are interested in other people, their ideas, their feelings, their goals. Bad talkative people are constantly interested in letting people know about them. When you are or appear interested in what others say and feel, it makes them feel good about themselves and makes them feel like they are important and interesting. People tend to get turned off or bored if you boast, brag, or otherwise advertise yourself.", "They don't know you, you can be anyone you like. Many people put on these \"masks\" at work and act differently, I for one tone down my personality. ", "Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) *might* work for you. These are seminars (which I do not recommend) or audio programs (much better option) that train you to be more outgoing. Note that there is no evidence that NLP actually works, but if you can get a set of audio files from your library for free, it might help you. I know plenty of people who have used them to good effect ... albeit that effect was short lived. \n\nAlso, \"The Power of Positive Thinking\" is a damn good book. ", "Fake it till you make it.\n\nNo matter how anxious, you hold your head up, you smile, you ask questions and be curious. The confidence will come with time.", "Fake it till you make it with a smile on your face. You always sound more out going while smiling. Don't know why it works, but it does. Even works over the phone. \n\nAlso, ask people simple questions about them selves. How's your day going? Works better than how are you. LUCK", "More energy could help immensely. I don't know what sort of foods you favor or if you excersize or m", "Assume most ppl are unhappy due to no fault of their own (because lots are). Spend a little bit of energy being polite or cheerful to try to brighten their day. Making ppl happy makes me feel good about myself. It's a win win. Ppl will find you pleasant and you will feel better about yourself too. You'll quickly find that so many ppl in this world are happy to share such little moments but they usually expect the other person to be a cold asshole so they don't begin to try themselves. It's really not hard and doesn't take much. Force yourself to smile. Focus on inflecting your voice to show excitement or that you care. Say little words like \"really\" (ex if you get tipped: instead of \"thanks have a great day\" something like \"thanks so much I really appreciate it, hope you guys have an awesome day\"). Also, if someone is rude to you don't let it get you down. Preventing others from affecting you is as important as having a positive approach yourself!" ]

[ 10, 10, 6, 4, 4, 3, 2, 2 ]

[ "What are some ways to learn some skills on the fly for free? And advice for a layabout with a degree but no experience.\n\nLong story short is I'm a college grad living with family, I should have more serious in college and more recently when I graduated but now I'm at a point where it's reaching two years since I graduated or a couple of years since I finished college. I'm almost in my mid-twenties but my next job would be my first job and like I said I have no discernible skills. Would appreciate some more general advice (or is it simple as putting myself out there and getting a start)but at the very least.\n\nWhat are some ways I can learn from skills on the fly for free, preferably online like through online videos like Youtube?", "What are some ways to learn some skills on the fly for free? And advice for a layabout with a degree but no experience.\n\nLong story short is I'm a college grad living with family, I should have more serious in college and more recently when I graduated but now I'm at a point where it's reaching two years since I graduated or a couple of years since I finished college. I'm almost in my mid-twenties but my next job would be my first job and like I said I have no discernible skills. Would appreciate some more general advice (or is it simple as putting myself out there and getting a start)but at the very least.\n\nWhat are some ways I can learn from skills on the fly for free, preferably online like through online videos like Youtube?", "What are some ways to learn some skills on the fly for free? And advice for a layabout with a degree but no experience.\n\nLong story short is I'm a college grad living with family, I should have more serious in college and more recently when I graduated but now I'm at a point where it's reaching two years since I graduated or a couple of years since I finished college. I'm almost in my mid-twenties but my next job would be my first job and like I said I have no discernible skills. Would appreciate some more general advice (or is it simple as putting myself out there and getting a start)but at the very least.\n\nWhat are some ways I can learn from skills on the fly for free, preferably online like through online videos like Youtube?" ]

[ "What is your degree in? Is it something you no longer want to do? You need to give a little more info. What have you been doing the last two years?", "You’re going about this wrong. You don’t get a decent job by looking at Youtube for days. \n\nUse the skills or degree you have already to get something entry level and climb the ladder that way. Or apply to the railroad or civil service that doesn’t require too much to begin with. Or go back to school for a trade or certification.", "If you don’t mind free, volunteer in your chosen field and don’t ever tell yourself something is beneath you. Let’s say you want a job in politics. Volunteer for a campaign, even if it means you’re setting out chairs. Always be prepared and train yourself to anticipate what’s likely to be needed next and either do it or offer to do it so everything you do adds value. At the same time, meet people - and not just those that run things - and if you can, create meaningful connections with everyone you meet. Handwritten notes thanking them for the pleasure of their company (or whatever) are such a great and underused way to follow up and standout. Don’t look at these connections as people you’ll be able to use later because we’re all attuned to it and that’s not the point. But they can provide more information / help in your chosen field than strangers on reddit as we don’t have enough information. And many people get their first “real” job through a recommendation from a friend - there’s nothing wrong with that if you earned it by doing the hard background work. \n\nAnd GOOD LUCK! You’re not behind, there’s no schedule for life, and you’ll be great :)" ]

[ 7, 3, 2 ]

[ "How to develop a softer, quieter voice. I have an extremely loud voice. I am that loud friend that you have that is obnoxious at times. When I am having fun, or just having a good time, I get close to yelling without even thinking about it. I would like to learn how to speak a little quieter, so I'm not so loud in conversation.\n\nAny tricks or tips?", "How to develop a softer, quieter voice. I have an extremely loud voice. I am that loud friend that you have that is obnoxious at times. When I am having fun, or just having a good time, I get close to yelling without even thinking about it. I would like to learn how to speak a little quieter, so I'm not so loud in conversation.\n\nAny tricks or tips?" ]

[ "Relax and use a \"neutral\" face and when you speak. Sometimes I get nervous/shy talking around people and I find that if I just relax the muscles in my face (so I am not unconsciously raising my eyebrows, bobbing my head, etc.) I will talk more softly and normally. Exceptionally expressive body language kind of calls for a loud, expressive voice. So I do the opposite and use small gestures", "Book a trip for a week to Paris. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, speaks quietly there-- in stores, the Metro, whatever. They will stare at you if you don't. It's like immersion of learning a language." ]

[ 2, -1 ]

[ "How to recover a stolen laptop So ive got this old Alienware(m17x) laptop im planing on giving my nephew, as he is wanting a PC to play some games on, He doesn't live in the best of neighborhoods to say the least, so i am wondering.\n\n Is there a program I can install on the laptop that will let him track it if it gets stolen? Something we could give the police and actually get it recovered? It doesn't have GPS support so I assume it would only be able to track the IP's if it connected to the internet. Any advice would be much appreciated though!", "How to recover a stolen laptop So ive got this old Alienware(m17x) laptop im planing on giving my nephew, as he is wanting a PC to play some games on, He doesn't live in the best of neighborhoods to say the least, so i am wondering.\n\n Is there a program I can install on the laptop that will let him track it if it gets stolen? Something we could give the police and actually get it recovered? It doesn't have GPS support so I assume it would only be able to track the IP's if it connected to the internet. Any advice would be much appreciated though!" ]

[ "I can also vouch for [https://preyproject.com/](https://preyproject.com/) except I've had a client recover they desktop that was stolen. \n\nThe biggest thing you can do is record all the information for that laptop. aka the serial number.\n\nThere are actually alot of recovery services out there... but most are kinda geared to intermediate level users.\n\nBut Prey is actually geared exactly for rookie level users.\n\nAn example of this program can be seen on a BBC report story. [Video Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7WDVciEwdQ)\n", "You need to have proof the laptop is yours. Take a slip of paper and write your name and then put it in the battery compartment in a way that doesn't interfere with the battery. Having your name on something gives you much more credibility. " ]

[ 2, 1 ]

[ "How to cool a high ceiling room? I live in an old hospital, and with that comes double height ceilings with a mezzanine bedroom.\n\nUnfortunately, it’s a listed building and AC is not possible to install properly.\n\nCurrently I have a standing AC unit on the ground floor with the pipe out the window - and a board to block incoming air.\n\nHowever, since cold air sinks it stays on the ground floor. Even then, the ground floor only drops a couple of degrees C.\n\nMy flat is 28 degrees centigrade inside and 30 upstairs on the mezzanine.\n\nBecause I can’t move the hot air down, it’s insufferable. Anyone have any ideas what I can do?", "How to cool a high ceiling room? I live in an old hospital, and with that comes double height ceilings with a mezzanine bedroom.\n\nUnfortunately, it’s a listed building and AC is not possible to install properly.\n\nCurrently I have a standing AC unit on the ground floor with the pipe out the window - and a board to block incoming air.\n\nHowever, since cold air sinks it stays on the ground floor. Even then, the ground floor only drops a couple of degrees C.\n\nMy flat is 28 degrees centigrade inside and 30 upstairs on the mezzanine.\n\nBecause I can’t move the hot air down, it’s insufferable. Anyone have any ideas what I can do?" ]

[ "I am not affiliated with this company with a catchy name and large products:\n\n\nhttps://www.bigassfans.com/", "A nice alternative is to have a ceiling fan installed in lieu of an AC unit. It’ll be much cheaper and it will force the hot air down and become circulated" ]

[ 3, 3 ]

[ "The cheapest, healthiest, and most versatile foods to get on a budget. If I about 20 bucks to last me the week for food, what would be some of the healthiest and most versatile things to get? I know eggs, potatoes, and frozen veggies, but are there any other options?", "The cheapest, healthiest, and most versatile foods to get on a budget. If I about 20 bucks to last me the week for food, what would be some of the healthiest and most versatile things to get? I know eggs, potatoes, and frozen veggies, but are there any other options?", "The cheapest, healthiest, and most versatile foods to get on a budget. If I about 20 bucks to last me the week for food, what would be some of the healthiest and most versatile things to get? I know eggs, potatoes, and frozen veggies, but are there any other options?", "The cheapest, healthiest, and most versatile foods to get on a budget. If I about 20 bucks to last me the week for food, what would be some of the healthiest and most versatile things to get? I know eggs, potatoes, and frozen veggies, but are there any other options?", "The cheapest, healthiest, and most versatile foods to get on a budget. If I about 20 bucks to last me the week for food, what would be some of the healthiest and most versatile things to get? I know eggs, potatoes, and frozen veggies, but are there any other options?", "The cheapest, healthiest, and most versatile foods to get on a budget. If I about 20 bucks to last me the week for food, what would be some of the healthiest and most versatile things to get? I know eggs, potatoes, and frozen veggies, but are there any other options?" ]

[ "Eggs shouldn't be on that list.\n\nBeans, rice, potatoes, pasta, canned tomato products. \n\n$20 can easily get you through the week. Dried beans are even cheaper than canned, but you do need to soak them overnight and cook them longer.\n\nRice can be used a thousand different ways, and so can potatoes. Pasta is versatile too, plus it's healthy and filling.\n\nBaked potatoes topped with random leftovers and whatever you have lying around (frozen veggies, beans, etc) are a great super broke meal. ", "Frozen veggies too - not sure what they're like where you are but you can easily get big bags of frozen vegetables where I live for about €1", "Fresh veggies aren't that expensive either, and you can always get canned tomatoes / veggies too\n\nMost places can sell whole chicken or chicken parts for around $5-$8, which can easily last a week\n\nAnother solution is Rice. A whole 5 pound bag of rice would probably cost you like $10, but that shit should last for a month or 2 depending on how often you cook rice", "Buy some dried beans. Soak 3 cups over night then cook them the next day. Buy some brown rice. \nCook a giant batch. Buy some kale. That's dinner every night of the week for about $10 total. Buy sweet potatoes and microwave them for lunch. Oatmeal is a cheap breakfast. That's a lot of nutrients for very cheap. ", "I play this game often, and a big tip from me is to have flour and oil on hand; I've used them to turn other staples into more food a lot. I stretched a rotisserie chicken and frozen veg into pot pie for a week, for one, and it can turn ramen and tuna into a casserole. Macaroni and cheese made with a roux can hold veg and become substantial. Oil and flour can be mixed with water and egg to make puffs that you can put other foods in with very little of either.\n\nAlso, produce sections are your friend. Cabbage is good, but broccoli, kale, potatoes, and onions are good. Onions are important because they can be the difference between bland and flavorful. \n\nEvery time I've bought bread and peanut butter thinking it will make it until payday, I never use it. The important thing is figuring out what you like to eat and how to make it cheap. Rice and beans and all the usual junk is good advice if you enjoy eating them. If you don't, you'll just be miserable.", "My I am broke and trying to eat healthy list of stuff.\n\ncarrots.... Everybody always sleeps on them but you can get 1lb-3lb for a dollar. Learn how to do quick pickles and you can add a lot of variety to dishes.\n\nI shop discount or bargin savings, so I go with ground beef. Or if you have a grinder, buy thigh meat when on sale and grind it yourself. Add to beans for a decent chili.\n\nSalsa- Buy some cheap pace knock off and you basically got your veggies for the day. Add to eggs to make a decent flavorful meal. (tomatos are expensive most of the year)\n\nOnions- when in season it is great.\n\nCabbage- Great filler. Good nutrients generally year round.\n\nAnother little tip, learn to shop earlier in the morning when they are restocking the deli and meat departments. Buy those discounted products. Then you can add some spice to your life." ]

[ 7, 5, 5, 3, 1, 0 ]

[ "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?", "What to do all day at work I work as an IT guy, waiting for problems in the workplace to come up.\nOn slow days, when I have no work, I'm allowed to spend my free time doing what I like on the computer. Unfortunately YouTube is blocked for me. \n\nI really need some advice as to what to do when I have nothing else to do at work. I use Reddit a lot but I can only take so much.\nPreferably not reading or video games or things that, any ideas?" ]

[ "Spend time improving your skills or somehow adding to your toolbox in a way that increases your value to the company. That way no one can argue that you are \"wasting\" company time. If they have to choose between you and someone else who is a time waster whom do you think they will keep?\n\nIf you present it properly, they may even open Youtube up to you as a learning resource.\n\n", "Make yourself a project, instead of waiting for a problem ask yourself how you can stop it happening before it does. Keep having the same problem with the same person, spend a morning with them showing them were thier going wrong. \n\nUse your skills to make peoples life easier, you'll become more valuable and pick up new skills.", "Lots of great ideas here. If you want to do something that helps others where you work and shows bosses that you are a self-starter, use your free time to create a mini-workshop in some IT topic that you can offer to the employees. \n\nFor example: how to FTP. How local networks are set up. How to update an OS. Basic HTML. Document version control. Passwords.\n\nJust common topics that the employees could benefit from. Lunchtime workshops can be nice as an excuse for people to lunch together - make your workshop 25 minutes and people get the rest of the hour to hang out, network, ask questions.\n\nCreate Value.", "I'm an IT guy as well, have been for about 7 years. When it's slow in the office, I find something work-related to do. Do you know how to write scripts? batch files? how good are your powershell or cmd skills? Mac experience? How can you work smarter at your job, and do things more efficiently? \n\nAlso, customer service skills in the IT field are increasingly going to become more important. Talk to people. Coworkers, customers, people that come into your office, anyone! Be more personable. Give your company a reason to keep you employed. Collaboration on IT problems really helped me develop important skill sets.\n\nIn my office, we have two other guys; one is actively participating in life with me and the rest of the team, asking about problems and in general just talking about work. We respect one another. The other just sits in the back of the office and watches youtube and the only time he engages with me is to complain about customers, or to criticize me or the other coworker. I hope we get rid of him. Don't be him. Get engaged, everyone will appreciate your attitude. Good luck to you!", "Start a part time degree in your local university, choose some different field that interest you, and before you know, you'll have a degree in you free time. My friend commutes 2 hours everyday on the train, he did a master degree on his commute. ", "Look on improving what is already there, don't just wait for shit to go wrong and fix it. Improve documentation and/or processes, educate users, address stuff that was put off long ago. LPT companies keep people that save or make them money, if you're not doing that, your time is limited.", "You can go to the bathroom and masturbate\nYou can learn a new skill (programming,beatboxing,pen tapping,pen spinning)\nYou can m", "Take an online course (like a MOOC, or a Khan Academy unit), or learn a new language online. Write -- write letters, write a diary, write short stories, write an article for publication. Write and desktop publish a newsletter for an organization you care about. Research things that interest you. Listen to podcasts. As long as I live, as long as I have an internet connection (or a pad and paper, or a ball of yarn and knitting needles) I'll never be bored. Just find something that interests you and pursue it! ", "I've been spending time researching and learning SEO. Currently building my own PBN network, rank and rent sites, and web 2.0s. Takes up time and can earn you extra money.", "I like to listen to music with Pandora on my phone. You said not reading but audio books are nice. I use audible and get 1 book per month.", "I have the same problem, only I'm also the first point of contact and general reception. \n\nI bring my kobo and journal to work with me. I write when I can. I read when the phone is quiet. I do a lot of research about my hobbies and nutrition. I find that the key is to keep my brain active or I disconnect and become miserable. \nSo my advice is to challenge yourself somehow. ", "Are you interested at all in learning a language? That could be a valuable and enjoyable use if your time.", "They should be able to find something for you to do. Ask them, and in addition, make your own projects that somehow translate into making or saving your company money. ", "Find a new job?\n\nSeriously, I'd rather flip burgers than have nothing to do and be stick staring at the wall.\n", "Bring a tablet from home into work and use that for entertainment.\nRead a book or set up an online business you can run in your spare time and after work. Consider taking up knitting or crocheting or some hand skills like tatting, or drawing. One can never spend enough time working with a pencil, and skills take time to develop. Get yourself a good collection of pencils like a Royal & Langnickel Tin Life Drawing Art Set, whose pencils range from hard to soft,and are wonderful to hold and use... and get some quality heavy- weight sketching paper and start drawing. consider using adult coloring pages (you can scan and alter in a photochop program on the computer to print out before coloring... there are plenty of adult coloring books available and plenty of designs on the web. My sons and I recently finished an adult coloring book for goths ( and wanna- be's) from my own art work and we used designs from wood block prints adapted from the middle ages and some other weird drawings we found on-line, which we slowly improved for modern times, and are awaiting it's finalization with a graphic artist who does incredible line work.... before going to print. ", "Are you only looking for ideas of things to do on your computer? Depending on the size and privacy of your office, you could learn to juggle, do bodyweight workouts, practice playing an instrument, hang up a dartboard and challenge coworkers, ride a unicycle, paint something, learn some card tricks, etc. " ]

[ 34, 3, 3, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0, 0, -1, -1 ]

[ "Is there anything useful I can do with ash after a bonfire? I burn fires in my back yard quite regularly and I'm getting a big pile of ash. Is there anything useful or organic (compost?) That I can do with this ash? \n\nNote: beer bottles and cans have been burned in the fire as well, but are all mostly totally disintegrated", "Is there anything useful I can do with ash after a bonfire? I burn fires in my back yard quite regularly and I'm getting a big pile of ash. Is there anything useful or organic (compost?) That I can do with this ash? \n\nNote: beer bottles and cans have been burned in the fire as well, but are all mostly totally disintegrated", "Is there anything useful I can do with ash after a bonfire? I burn fires in my back yard quite regularly and I'm getting a big pile of ash. Is there anything useful or organic (compost?) That I can do with this ash? \n\nNote: beer bottles and cans have been burned in the fire as well, but are all mostly totally disintegrated", "Is there anything useful I can do with ash after a bonfire? I burn fires in my back yard quite regularly and I'm getting a big pile of ash. Is there anything useful or organic (compost?) That I can do with this ash? \n\nNote: beer bottles and cans have been burned in the fire as well, but are all mostly totally disintegrated", "Is there anything useful I can do with ash after a bonfire? I burn fires in my back yard quite regularly and I'm getting a big pile of ash. Is there anything useful or organic (compost?) That I can do with this ash? \n\nNote: beer bottles and cans have been burned in the fire as well, but are all mostly totally disintegrated" ]

[ "You can make lye out of wood ash, then use it to make your own soap, build a secret network of clubs beginning with a shared custom of hand to hand combat, finally ending with you leading them to bring down buildings in order to erase everyone's debt. \n\nWell, I mean that depends on how much ash you have. ", "Depending on what you burn and the soil conditions of your yard, it might be useful as a fertilizer. If you intend to do this I would stop burning bottles and cans.\n\nhttp://extension.oregonstate.edu/gardening/wood-ash-can-be-useful-yard-if-used-caution", "I knew of a guy who used leftover hookah coal ash to fill an urn and spill it in public on \"accident\" as a prank.\n\nSo you could do that.", "You can also mix it in with concrete to improve the concrete (but make sure you sieve out the charcoal bits)", "I once read in a folk medicine book that white ashes and blacker/grey ashes are good for relieving constipation and relieving diarrhea...I'm not don't remember which was which though haha....could cause some hard times in the woods if you got it wrong." ]

[ 40, 8, 3, 1, 0 ]

[ "How to stop razon burn/rash. I've recently started shaving more than my face and I find myself getting a lot of razor burn, I've never encountered this while shaving my face. I've tried changing the blade before I shaved, cold water after, using after shave, but nothings working. \n\n.........................................\n\nThanks for all of the tips, hopefully they work.", "How to stop razon burn/rash. I've recently started shaving more than my face and I find myself getting a lot of razor burn, I've never encountered this while shaving my face. I've tried changing the blade before I shaved, cold water after, using after shave, but nothings working. \n\n.........................................\n\nThanks for all of the tips, hopefully they work.", "How to stop razon burn/rash. I've recently started shaving more than my face and I find myself getting a lot of razor burn, I've never encountered this while shaving my face. I've tried changing the blade before I shaved, cold water after, using after shave, but nothings working. \n\n.........................................\n\nThanks for all of the tips, hopefully they work.", "How to stop razon burn/rash. I've recently started shaving more than my face and I find myself getting a lot of razor burn, I've never encountered this while shaving my face. I've tried changing the blade before I shaved, cold water after, using after shave, but nothings working. \n\n.........................................\n\nThanks for all of the tips, hopefully they work.", "How to stop razon burn/rash. I've recently started shaving more than my face and I find myself getting a lot of razor burn, I've never encountered this while shaving my face. I've tried changing the blade before I shaved, cold water after, using after shave, but nothings working. \n\n.........................................\n\nThanks for all of the tips, hopefully they work." ]

[ "Persian hairy male here. Been getting ingrown hairs since 2 years old. bought a fog less mirror for my shower and shave during one. haven't gotten one since. ", "Try using coconut oil instead of soap or foam. \nI use this on my legs and lady parts and haven't had issues with razorburn since. Make sure to take extra care to clean your razor afterwards or it will get build up.", "Shave with the direction of the skin instead of against. If that's not enough also use Aqua Glycolic. The active ingredient is glycolic acid and this soothes the skin. (it's easier found online these days, than it is at the pharmacy, like it used to be. And it's also great for treating acne if you use it without salicylic acid as a facial cleasner at least once a day.)", "I used to get some pretty bad skin irritation after shaving. Someone told me to rinse afterwards with water as hot as you can handle, and then to re-rinse with cold immediately after. I'm not sure if it's accurate, but he said that the hot cleans the pores, and the cold closes them.", "I am 28 and have been shaving since around 14. I now wear a beard, mostly because it looks awesome, but also because of the tremendous razor burn I get anytime I take a razor to my neck. I have figured out that my razor burn is a result of having very curly hair. I have since learned to never do that and instead I use clippers [like these](http://www.goodmans.net/i/41/andis-04603-outliner-ii-hair-trimmer.htm?sc=GOOGLEBASE&k=AD-04603&utm_source=GOOGLEBASE&utm_medium=datafeed&utm_campaign=AD-04603&gclid=CjgKEAjwnfGbBRDlxoHrl6uikyESJAD-nzCFMDn_zaP31q5gsKNNePPYXl-XDRyJMq2F4fqZmqTa1PD_BwE). They do not cut the hair beneath the skin so it vastly prevents razor burn and ingrown hairs. I still use a razor on my cheek though and, for some reason, it never seems to break out." ]

[ 4, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation.", "How do I stop the voice in my head from over-analyzing EVERYTHING I say? It hinders my efforts at socializing. I just keep over-analyzing everything I say/what I think I should say. It doesn't help for a natural conversation." ]

[ "M", "**Combat decisions.**\n\nImagine a young 2nd Lieutenant leading his troops into combat. His orders are to move into unscouted enemy territory and disable an enemy airstrip which is part of a large, coordinated offensive. His part is small, but important to the overall offensive and time sensitive. As they near the airfield, not knowing the enemy capacity, the terrain and being in a time crunch they encounter enemy resistance. Under fire, his men dying around him, scared out of his mind and with his men looking to him for orders he makes a combat decision; he splits his company into three for approach groups: one to go east, one west, and one down the middle. The attack succeeds when the eastern and middle groups encounter little resistance and take the airfield easily. The western group stumbles into fortified, entrenched enemy resistance and suffers heavy casualty.\n\nDid our Lt. make a mistake sending his men west, to their deaths? Yes.\n\nWill he mourn and regret the loss of his men? Yes.\n\nWas there a better approach? Yes.\n\nKnowing what he knows now, if he could go back and do it a second time, would he do it differently? Yes.\n\nKnowing only what he knew at the time, would he do it differently? If he's a good leader, no.\n\nWhy not? Because he made the best decision he could at the time considering what he knew then. You are the 2nd Lt. You need to absolve yourself of your blame and guilt for mistakes. When a situation arises, you must make a combat decision. Make the best decision you can, follow through and **trust yourself**. You cannot know the future. You will make mistakes. You can look back on those mistakes with regret, but it is pointless to second guess yourself. Mistakes are how you learn. Look back and learn so that you can better yourself and those around you. You are not your past self. You cannot know what the future will bring. Assess the situation and the information you have at present. Use that information\n\nIs there a difference between the man whose best intentions hurt you and the man who intentionally hurts? Both men deserve consequences for their actions, but only the malicious man deserves blame for both his maliciousness and his hurting you. Your past self is that ignorant man. Learn from it so that he cannot hurt you again, but also forgive him. He is only a man and was trying his best. It's all any of us can do.", "You need a positive activity to focus on. \n\nStopping the voice is a negative. You should try doing something so that you're too busy/engaged for the voice to get a chance to speak.", "You already said it once in a comment OP, if working out works for you...then do that...\n\nAlso, the over-analyzing isn't a bad thing unless it creates or leads to negative thoughts. Be happy you have a hyperactive brain, we are the smartest people cuz we are 20 steps ahead...however, sometimes we are a couple steps behind when put on the spot. \n\nStart stopping yourself when you find your thoughts are getting negative, that will lead to cognitively positive thoughts.", "All the m", "You gotta understand that you're just a human surrounded by humans. Everybody in the room is an insecure mess trying to avoid saying anything that makes everybody hate them. \n\nFocus on wanting to be a nice person and don't penalize yourself for being flawed. Try not to be offensive or defensively opinionated. As long as you do that you're doing better than a huge margin of the population. \n\nAnybody who's gonna judge you for what you say is not the kind of person who's opinion you need to worry about. ", "Something that helped me was rather than try to stop your inner voice analysing everything try to change the tone it says things in.\n\nFor example rather than thinking: \"Fuck your stupid why did you say that.\"\n\nSay something like: \"That wasn't so good. But maybe next time.\"\n\n", "Maybe it's helpful to view it as a process that cannot be really stopped, just a necessary function of your mind. Better to learn how not to pay attention to it, or not to take every thought literally/personally/100% true. \nLearn to watch thoughts and see how they pass by like clouds, when you observe them. Mentioned things like m", "I used to have this a great deal of the time and now I don't. I agree with the people who are suggesting changing what the voice says to be something both true and helpful. For example , \"Most people do not care if I make a small social mistake.\" \"If my clothes are unfashionable the world won't end.\" \"I am a person who has friends.\" \"I can make friends.\" \"I have something to offer this conversation.\" \"I am probably more comfortable than someone else and if I am pleasant it may make their day better.\" Usually for me the voice would be negative and would be saying something like \"You are so stupid. \" \"People are looking at you .\" Generally though, these statements weren't true. In fact, I have plenty of reasons I know I am pretty smart, and most of the time people are worried about their own stuff. So changing the voice to say something true and also helpful that helped me get past thinking my own small embarrassments were important enough to suck up all my brain power. Even thinking \"This is not worth emotional energy\" is helpful.", "I once read, \"you'll stop caring so much about what everyone thinks of you when you realize how infrequently they do.\" This idea has really helped me. Do you sit around and analyze the stupid things that everyone else says? Probably not. And they don't about you. Everyone says stupid things sometimes. No one cares more than 30 seconds afterwards, because they're too busy thinking about themselves. \n\nIf you don't like something you've said or done, chalk it up to a learning experience and move on. Everyone else has already long forgotten about it. ", "I make the voice as nice and kind as I possibly can, like I'm talking to a cute puppy or a sad friend. So instead of it being this harsh over analyzation, it's more like \"aww you worked so hard, good job. That was really hard work, but you stuck it out and learned new things :D!\" \n\nCompared to \"SUCK IT UP YOU WUSS! YOU DIDN'T GET ANYTHING DONE, LOOK AT THIS LIST OF SHIT!\" \n\nMaking that shift changed my life. ", "I can't find the source but I read a study that said the first step is to realize what you're doing and then actually say out loud \"stop analysing shit\". This has actually helped me with impulsive spending. I think, \"oh I should buy this\" and then after realizing what I was about to do I'll actually tell myself out loud \"stop\". Give it a try", "Check out a book called ['The Untethered Soul'](http://www.amazon.com/The-Untethered-Soul-Journey-Yourself/dp/1572245379) it's all about doing exactly that through a few different methods. ", "that is the point of the voice in your head, it is there to protect you by figuring out everything that is going to happen before it happens! \n\n", "sure, all these people got good ways for you to improve you soul. I say do that on your own time. Wanna get really good with people? Have scripts of what you're going to say before you say it. It's really not that hard, as people mostly talk about the same shit anyway. After you get some basic scripts memorized, you can start throwing in literary references, pop culture hits, the list goes on and you can make yourself as zany and unique as you like. Just remember, people only really get 20% of what you say, so you damn well better have something to get through to them!", "booze worked with me. er, and surrounding myself with the most ingnorant people imaginable. Honestly, you won't care anymore what you say.", "You're analyzing the things you say because you feel that a certain form of expression is more important than other forms. And so, you give importance to this analysis so that you can keep your expressions within \"acceptable bounds\", so to speak.\n\nIt's all about what you deem as important. If you are doing something obsessively, ask yourself why you feel it's important. Maybe that leads to a few ideas that you feel are important. Ask yourself why those ideas are important. What you will be doing here is exploring your beliefs, which are ideas or rules that you entertain without question.\n\nSo question them. Bring those ideas to light. Explore other ideas that contrast with them. Dive into the exploration. Then come back and realize you have a choice of expressions; that the importance you placed on your expressions was unnecessary. Understand that you can allow yourself to express freely and without bounds.", "You could use distraction and involvement in other activities, but then again, what if you really need that voice?\n\nIt could be you're over-analyzing, on the other hand, it could be you're just very smart.\n\nBut, what if it's not?\n\nIt could be a sign of something else as an issue. But what? I dunno.\n\nMaybe I have the same issue as you, but I don't think so.\n\nThen again...", "You cant \"stop\" it. You can accept it and rob it of its power. You will always have an anxious response, thats human. The fact that you hold onto the anxious thought and think about it giving it power, is what makes it so strong.\n\nWhen you hear that voice going, dont try and stop it, just try and forget about it, switch your thoughts to another topic or nothing.\n\nLook up some deep breathing m", "You can't really stop it - you can become aware of it and watch your thoughts pass by, like leaves going along a stream. Let your mind do its thing and relax knowing that thoughts come and go. Eventually your mind will feel clearer and you'll feel calm. Try downloading an app called Headspace too. It's great for learning mindfulness. Good luck! ", "You are the voice in your head. It's a behavioral pattern that you can stop, but the first step is to take an active role in the process.\n", "You are living too much in your head. Be more physically active and more outdoorsy. Hiking, running, working out, bicycling, skating, climbing, hackysack, swimming, sports and activities. Even computer games/video games (preferably multiplayer online). You can't fight overthinking by thinking about it more, you have to get OUT of your head and INTO your body.\n", "You are literally \"talking\" when your inner voice is running:\n\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/3ihueq\n\nYou can test it out. Just use your inner voice to try and hit the highest pitch you can and you should feel movements in your larynx. Now, when your inner voice is running, try to control it like you would if you were in a meeting or listening to someone in an interview.", "Work on mindfulness to help calm down the thoughts. I'm a fan of vinyasa yoga because it's great exercise but has the benefit of helping me learn how to shut up my brain. ", "While there are some good (and bad) tips for relaxation in this thread, the real answer is that you outgrow it. \n\nAs time passes, and you become more comfortable in your own skin - your confidence continues to get better and you care less about what other people think.", "Switch your attention on breathing through your nose. Both on the physical effect of the air going through your nostrils and the mental effect of inhaling and exhaling.\n\n\n[Cognitive Neuroscience of Mindfulness M", "Stop caring, that has helped me beyond measure. And if a situation turns weird, always remember \"two tears in a bucket, fuck it!\"", "Say over and over \"I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks, move on.\" It will take a while, but eventually your brain will believe it.\n\nI used to do the same thing as you when I was in my 20's. I finally decided that whether it was the right thing to say or not, I already said it, deal with it, move on. \n\nWhen I TRULY realize I've said something I shouldn't have, I always go and apologize. But it has to be pretty blatant. The minor stuff, I just shrug and let people think I'm a bit of an asshole. I don't need everyone to like me.\n\nI actually get more respect than I used to. People like confidence. Even if I'm a little dickish now and again.\n\n", "SLPT:\n\n1) Close your eyes and think of the voice as someone on your back. \n\n2) Take him/her off and beat the shit out of them and toss them away or burn them. ", "Practice mindfulness, sounds like new age bullshit but it really helps keep you in the here and now instead of getting lost in your head", "Not so much as a tip but more of a way of thinking. People are lazy and don't tend to analyse what other people say and are more concerned about their own position and problems. There's something called \"Protagonist Syndrome\" which is basically where everyone views themselves as the main character for everything they do and everyone they interact with is merely a side character, with this in mind \"I\" myself come to the conclusion that everyone is just too caught up in their own lives to be bothered with or to over think about someone else. \n\nI know this wont massively help your over thinking but I hope it helps you achieve a more laid back easy going approach in life.\n\nTL;DR: people don't really care THAT much about what you say, everyone is a little bit egotistical and don't tend to obsess about others more than what they'd obsess about themselves.", "No Idea how to fix it other than just focusing on something else, the level of my social encounters really vary though.\n\nThen again I got more than just the 1 voice.. ", "M", "Inner voice = ego. \nEgo is ultimately useless and clouds judgment. \n\nYou may find (as cheesy as he is sometimes) Eckhart Tolle helpful. He is a good primer on 'silence', introspection and eliminating useless inner chatter and emotion. \n\nBasically, analyzing a situation practically in the moment, or as far as is required to effectuate concrete steps, is acceptable, and a certain amount of introspection to analyze errors or mistakes is helpful, but as a general rule any anxiety over the future or regret about the past is useless and robs you of the moment. \n\n\"*Everything you have ever done, or ever will do, you will ultimately do in the present moment*\". \n\n-some guy", "I have the same problem. I've do 2 things to help make this better. Take beginning improv class and get into a toastmasters club.", "Small amounts of pot have worked to help me focus (everyone is different, though, and this may have alternate effects on you). ", "If you're over-analysing what you're saying, then do you pay attention to what the other people say in response?", "Doesn't it help with anything else, like math or business? Second, is there ever a situation when you aren't hearing yourself talk through your options, like sports or driving?\n\nThe ability you're describing is not necessarily a bad thing. Find a way with someone else to practice going from problem solving to learned reactions; flood relief to comic relief. A little practice can improve a lot of performance.", "\nM", "If you are having problems with ruminative thinking...you should talk to a psychotherapist instead of reddit, dumbass." ]

[ 104, 24, 18, 8, 5, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0, 0, 0, 0, -3 ]

[ "How to prevent co-workers from stealing your office chair? My desk is right next to a couple of meeting rooms and quite often my chair is swiped, taken into a meeting and kept there when I'm not around, sometimes for the whole day before I can go in to retrieve it. Other times it is taken from the other end of the office, and tracking it down requires requests to view company surveillance. \n\nOther than resorting to never getting up from my chair or using cameras, what counter-measures can I undertake to either: \n\n* prevent this from happening entirely, or\n* more efficiently track where my chair is when it's commandeered? ", "How to prevent co-workers from stealing your office chair? My desk is right next to a couple of meeting rooms and quite often my chair is swiped, taken into a meeting and kept there when I'm not around, sometimes for the whole day before I can go in to retrieve it. Other times it is taken from the other end of the office, and tracking it down requires requests to view company surveillance. \n\nOther than resorting to never getting up from my chair or using cameras, what counter-measures can I undertake to either: \n\n* prevent this from happening entirely, or\n* more efficiently track where my chair is when it's commandeered? ", "How to prevent co-workers from stealing your office chair? My desk is right next to a couple of meeting rooms and quite often my chair is swiped, taken into a meeting and kept there when I'm not around, sometimes for the whole day before I can go in to retrieve it. Other times it is taken from the other end of the office, and tracking it down requires requests to view company surveillance. \n\nOther than resorting to never getting up from my chair or using cameras, what counter-measures can I undertake to either: \n\n* prevent this from happening entirely, or\n* more efficiently track where my chair is when it's commandeered? ", "How to prevent co-workers from stealing your office chair? My desk is right next to a couple of meeting rooms and quite often my chair is swiped, taken into a meeting and kept there when I'm not around, sometimes for the whole day before I can go in to retrieve it. Other times it is taken from the other end of the office, and tracking it down requires requests to view company surveillance. \n\nOther than resorting to never getting up from my chair or using cameras, what counter-measures can I undertake to either: \n\n* prevent this from happening entirely, or\n* more efficiently track where my chair is when it's commandeered? ", "How to prevent co-workers from stealing your office chair? My desk is right next to a couple of meeting rooms and quite often my chair is swiped, taken into a meeting and kept there when I'm not around, sometimes for the whole day before I can go in to retrieve it. Other times it is taken from the other end of the office, and tracking it down requires requests to view company surveillance. \n\nOther than resorting to never getting up from my chair or using cameras, what counter-measures can I undertake to either: \n\n* prevent this from happening entirely, or\n* more efficiently track where my chair is when it's commandeered? ", "How to prevent co-workers from stealing your office chair? My desk is right next to a couple of meeting rooms and quite often my chair is swiped, taken into a meeting and kept there when I'm not around, sometimes for the whole day before I can go in to retrieve it. Other times it is taken from the other end of the office, and tracking it down requires requests to view company surveillance. \n\nOther than resorting to never getting up from my chair or using cameras, what counter-measures can I undertake to either: \n\n* prevent this from happening entirely, or\n* more efficiently track where my chair is when it's commandeered? ", "How to prevent co-workers from stealing your office chair? My desk is right next to a couple of meeting rooms and quite often my chair is swiped, taken into a meeting and kept there when I'm not around, sometimes for the whole day before I can go in to retrieve it. Other times it is taken from the other end of the office, and tracking it down requires requests to view company surveillance. \n\nOther than resorting to never getting up from my chair or using cameras, what counter-measures can I undertake to either: \n\n* prevent this from happening entirely, or\n* more efficiently track where my chair is when it's commandeered? ", "How to prevent co-workers from stealing your office chair? My desk is right next to a couple of meeting rooms and quite often my chair is swiped, taken into a meeting and kept there when I'm not around, sometimes for the whole day before I can go in to retrieve it. Other times it is taken from the other end of the office, and tracking it down requires requests to view company surveillance. \n\nOther than resorting to never getting up from my chair or using cameras, what counter-measures can I undertake to either: \n\n* prevent this from happening entirely, or\n* more efficiently track where my chair is when it's commandeered? ", "How to prevent co-workers from stealing your office chair? My desk is right next to a couple of meeting rooms and quite often my chair is swiped, taken into a meeting and kept there when I'm not around, sometimes for the whole day before I can go in to retrieve it. Other times it is taken from the other end of the office, and tracking it down requires requests to view company surveillance. \n\nOther than resorting to never getting up from my chair or using cameras, what counter-measures can I undertake to either: \n\n* prevent this from happening entirely, or\n* more efficiently track where my chair is when it's commandeered? ", "How to prevent co-workers from stealing your office chair? My desk is right next to a couple of meeting rooms and quite often my chair is swiped, taken into a meeting and kept there when I'm not around, sometimes for the whole day before I can go in to retrieve it. Other times it is taken from the other end of the office, and tracking it down requires requests to view company surveillance. \n\nOther than resorting to never getting up from my chair or using cameras, what counter-measures can I undertake to either: \n\n* prevent this from happening entirely, or\n* more efficiently track where my chair is when it's commandeered? " ]

[ "For the meeting room I would just go in and get it. People will learn. You vould also hang a sign on the back of the chair.", "https://www.thetileapp.com/?utm_campaign=846069592&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=205091127072&utm_term=tile-e&adgroup=41596361485&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5vze9N2S2QIV0rXACh20JA1kEAAYASAAEgIeNfD_BwE", "Heavily personalise your chair. \"I'm sorry, I have to get this work done, and my desk chair is one of the tools I require to do my job\" take back your chair. Once you have stated that your chair is a tool to do your job, taking it away more than once becomes a form of bullying. The shenanigans will stop pretty quickly. You could also tie it to your desk, or put a noise alarm on it (like a key finder). Chair wanders. ALARM! \"I'm so sorry, I have work to do, probably don't take people's workstation away?\"", "Paint red nail polish on one of the arm rest, drape your shawl or jacket over the back, spray with your perfume. ", "Come to work from the gym several times. Place your \"sweat towel\" over the back of the chair. Ensure people see you do this.", "You could put one of those tile rfid tracking things on the underside... make it beep and then walk into the room like “ oh that’s where my chair is” and leave with it", "While a tracking tag would help you find it, you're still facing the problem of people taking your chair. \n\nI like the idea of putting a jacket on the back of your chair. Is that one at home just don't use that you can keep at the office? \n\nOne of my co-workers has stapled a Superman cape to the back of his chair. \nYou could do the same with a lace doily at the neck rest area\n\nOr like some other suggestions, lock it up. \nWrap this around the base of the chair and lock it to a part of your work area. Maybe even tuck it under a corner of your desk. \nIt should stay under your feet and out of your way\nhttps://m.lowes.com/pd/Master-Lock-180-in-Gray-Steel-Keyed-Cable-Lock/1000004536", "Put a sign on the back saying that’s the chair has been carefully adjusted to help with a back problem (in accordance with occupational health guidelines, or however you’d word it where you’re located) and to therefore please not take it or adjust it. I’ve seen this done in the workplace quite a few times - it might help in this case :)", "Just buy a car alarm and install it internally with a power source. If its gone sound the alarm I'm sure you'll fix this issue after the first couple times.", "Get a cheap cable and attach it to the chair. As mentioned keep a personal item or two on the chair should somewhat discourage people. You need to think of a way to incentivise your co workers to not take your chair. Is it gross? Does it look bad? Does it squeek like the devil when moved? Does it no longer have wheels? Make it even a small hassle or some sort of negative re-inforcement. \n\n Then again, why not seed the conference room with more chairs so they don't have to take your chair? I have read a bunch of people advocating direct confrontation, but I don't think this situation warrants this as long as your response does not seem overly petty or passive agressive (like, well, the cable thing or a booby trap like shoe polish). Have fun!" ]

[ 7, 4, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to pour liquids from one cup to another without a portion of it running over the lip and down the cup. I feel so incompetent for never being able to pour without at least a little bit spilling...", "How to pour liquids from one cup to another without a portion of it running over the lip and down the cup. I feel so incompetent for never being able to pour without at least a little bit spilling...", "How to pour liquids from one cup to another without a portion of it running over the lip and down the cup. I feel so incompetent for never being able to pour without at least a little bit spilling...", "How to pour liquids from one cup to another without a portion of it running over the lip and down the cup. I feel so incompetent for never being able to pour without at least a little bit spilling...", "How to pour liquids from one cup to another without a portion of it running over the lip and down the cup. I feel so incompetent for never being able to pour without at least a little bit spilling..." ]

[ "do not hesitate. commit, and act briskly.\n\nthis actually gets the liquid moving fast enough to break its surface tension on the container, which is what causes the dribble. ", "Use a stick/spoon/handle/whatever held across the top of the rim you're pouring from. It will run down the stick rather than the side of the container, and will land where the stick is pointed. [Example](http://www.modernsoapmaking.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/pouring-the-fragrance-without-dribbles-300x300.jpg)", "Reciprocating u/whiskeybridge and also adding that it depends on the cup you're pouring out of. Pouring out of a coffee cup is going to be much harder to do neatly than pouring out of a pint glass.", "Drink contents of cup 1\n\nWait some time\n\nPee in cup 2\n\n...some might still run over the lip and down the cup depending on your control", "Don't tip it super slow so that the liquid spills like you say. The liquid from cup A needs to have some momentum behind it. I'm not saying tip cup A super fast, but just enough so that it gets some momentum to pour and not just spill." ]

[ 19, 5, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to 'look busy'. I'm in a temp contract and I'm filling in for someone whose job is... minimal. \n\nI sit at a desk answering any basic queries at what is essentially a library that you can't take books out from. 90% of my time is spent with nothing to do (It's very rare anyone needs help with anything). I've searched out alternate tasks, of which I am working through one, but it is just copying over files from one place to another and so again 90% of the time I am just waiting on it to copy so I can do another. \n\nEverything I do is extremely heavy on downtime. Fortunately I barely see the boss and he doesn't seem to notice how little is actually going on. However, whenever he *is* around, for the few minutes of that per day, I always feel like I should be doing something more to make it look like I am doing good work, definitely worth the rather-high wage I am receiving. \n\nCurrently, I get in at 9am, sit down, open the place up, and start moving things around on the system. While things are moved around, I can either sit and watch the progress bar, or I can browse the internet. I spend a good five hours of the eight I am there trying to come up with things to do, failing and then browsing Reddit or similar sites, searching for interesting things. One of those eight hours is also lunch, meaning that I feel like I am not appearing to do enough. I don't want to come across as lazy, so is there anything I can do that will help make myself look like I am doing more than I actually am, or other things that I can *actually* do to make what I'm being paid worth what they get from me?\n\nI will only be there just over another week, before I (hopefully) get moved to another sector as this area is scheduled to close down over Christmas. I'd like to ensure that I leave a positive impression.", "How to 'look busy'. I'm in a temp contract and I'm filling in for someone whose job is... minimal. \n\nI sit at a desk answering any basic queries at what is essentially a library that you can't take books out from. 90% of my time is spent with nothing to do (It's very rare anyone needs help with anything). I've searched out alternate tasks, of which I am working through one, but it is just copying over files from one place to another and so again 90% of the time I am just waiting on it to copy so I can do another. \n\nEverything I do is extremely heavy on downtime. Fortunately I barely see the boss and he doesn't seem to notice how little is actually going on. However, whenever he *is* around, for the few minutes of that per day, I always feel like I should be doing something more to make it look like I am doing good work, definitely worth the rather-high wage I am receiving. \n\nCurrently, I get in at 9am, sit down, open the place up, and start moving things around on the system. While things are moved around, I can either sit and watch the progress bar, or I can browse the internet. I spend a good five hours of the eight I am there trying to come up with things to do, failing and then browsing Reddit or similar sites, searching for interesting things. One of those eight hours is also lunch, meaning that I feel like I am not appearing to do enough. I don't want to come across as lazy, so is there anything I can do that will help make myself look like I am doing more than I actually am, or other things that I can *actually* do to make what I'm being paid worth what they get from me?\n\nI will only be there just over another week, before I (hopefully) get moved to another sector as this area is scheduled to close down over Christmas. I'd like to ensure that I leave a positive impression.", "How to 'look busy'. I'm in a temp contract and I'm filling in for someone whose job is... minimal. \n\nI sit at a desk answering any basic queries at what is essentially a library that you can't take books out from. 90% of my time is spent with nothing to do (It's very rare anyone needs help with anything). I've searched out alternate tasks, of which I am working through one, but it is just copying over files from one place to another and so again 90% of the time I am just waiting on it to copy so I can do another. \n\nEverything I do is extremely heavy on downtime. Fortunately I barely see the boss and he doesn't seem to notice how little is actually going on. However, whenever he *is* around, for the few minutes of that per day, I always feel like I should be doing something more to make it look like I am doing good work, definitely worth the rather-high wage I am receiving. \n\nCurrently, I get in at 9am, sit down, open the place up, and start moving things around on the system. While things are moved around, I can either sit and watch the progress bar, or I can browse the internet. I spend a good five hours of the eight I am there trying to come up with things to do, failing and then browsing Reddit or similar sites, searching for interesting things. One of those eight hours is also lunch, meaning that I feel like I am not appearing to do enough. I don't want to come across as lazy, so is there anything I can do that will help make myself look like I am doing more than I actually am, or other things that I can *actually* do to make what I'm being paid worth what they get from me?\n\nI will only be there just over another week, before I (hopefully) get moved to another sector as this area is scheduled to close down over Christmas. I'd like to ensure that I leave a positive impression.", "How to 'look busy'. I'm in a temp contract and I'm filling in for someone whose job is... minimal. \n\nI sit at a desk answering any basic queries at what is essentially a library that you can't take books out from. 90% of my time is spent with nothing to do (It's very rare anyone needs help with anything). I've searched out alternate tasks, of which I am working through one, but it is just copying over files from one place to another and so again 90% of the time I am just waiting on it to copy so I can do another. \n\nEverything I do is extremely heavy on downtime. Fortunately I barely see the boss and he doesn't seem to notice how little is actually going on. However, whenever he *is* around, for the few minutes of that per day, I always feel like I should be doing something more to make it look like I am doing good work, definitely worth the rather-high wage I am receiving. \n\nCurrently, I get in at 9am, sit down, open the place up, and start moving things around on the system. While things are moved around, I can either sit and watch the progress bar, or I can browse the internet. I spend a good five hours of the eight I am there trying to come up with things to do, failing and then browsing Reddit or similar sites, searching for interesting things. One of those eight hours is also lunch, meaning that I feel like I am not appearing to do enough. I don't want to come across as lazy, so is there anything I can do that will help make myself look like I am doing more than I actually am, or other things that I can *actually* do to make what I'm being paid worth what they get from me?\n\nI will only be there just over another week, before I (hopefully) get moved to another sector as this area is scheduled to close down over Christmas. I'd like to ensure that I leave a positive impression.", "How to 'look busy'. I'm in a temp contract and I'm filling in for someone whose job is... minimal. \n\nI sit at a desk answering any basic queries at what is essentially a library that you can't take books out from. 90% of my time is spent with nothing to do (It's very rare anyone needs help with anything). I've searched out alternate tasks, of which I am working through one, but it is just copying over files from one place to another and so again 90% of the time I am just waiting on it to copy so I can do another. \n\nEverything I do is extremely heavy on downtime. Fortunately I barely see the boss and he doesn't seem to notice how little is actually going on. However, whenever he *is* around, for the few minutes of that per day, I always feel like I should be doing something more to make it look like I am doing good work, definitely worth the rather-high wage I am receiving. \n\nCurrently, I get in at 9am, sit down, open the place up, and start moving things around on the system. While things are moved around, I can either sit and watch the progress bar, or I can browse the internet. I spend a good five hours of the eight I am there trying to come up with things to do, failing and then browsing Reddit or similar sites, searching for interesting things. One of those eight hours is also lunch, meaning that I feel like I am not appearing to do enough. I don't want to come across as lazy, so is there anything I can do that will help make myself look like I am doing more than I actually am, or other things that I can *actually* do to make what I'm being paid worth what they get from me?\n\nI will only be there just over another week, before I (hopefully) get moved to another sector as this area is scheduled to close down over Christmas. I'd like to ensure that I leave a positive impression.", "How to 'look busy'. I'm in a temp contract and I'm filling in for someone whose job is... minimal. \n\nI sit at a desk answering any basic queries at what is essentially a library that you can't take books out from. 90% of my time is spent with nothing to do (It's very rare anyone needs help with anything). I've searched out alternate tasks, of which I am working through one, but it is just copying over files from one place to another and so again 90% of the time I am just waiting on it to copy so I can do another. \n\nEverything I do is extremely heavy on downtime. Fortunately I barely see the boss and he doesn't seem to notice how little is actually going on. However, whenever he *is* around, for the few minutes of that per day, I always feel like I should be doing something more to make it look like I am doing good work, definitely worth the rather-high wage I am receiving. \n\nCurrently, I get in at 9am, sit down, open the place up, and start moving things around on the system. While things are moved around, I can either sit and watch the progress bar, or I can browse the internet. I spend a good five hours of the eight I am there trying to come up with things to do, failing and then browsing Reddit or similar sites, searching for interesting things. One of those eight hours is also lunch, meaning that I feel like I am not appearing to do enough. I don't want to come across as lazy, so is there anything I can do that will help make myself look like I am doing more than I actually am, or other things that I can *actually* do to make what I'm being paid worth what they get from me?\n\nI will only be there just over another week, before I (hopefully) get moved to another sector as this area is scheduled to close down over Christmas. I'd like to ensure that I leave a positive impression.", "How to 'look busy'. I'm in a temp contract and I'm filling in for someone whose job is... minimal. \n\nI sit at a desk answering any basic queries at what is essentially a library that you can't take books out from. 90% of my time is spent with nothing to do (It's very rare anyone needs help with anything). I've searched out alternate tasks, of which I am working through one, but it is just copying over files from one place to another and so again 90% of the time I am just waiting on it to copy so I can do another. \n\nEverything I do is extremely heavy on downtime. Fortunately I barely see the boss and he doesn't seem to notice how little is actually going on. However, whenever he *is* around, for the few minutes of that per day, I always feel like I should be doing something more to make it look like I am doing good work, definitely worth the rather-high wage I am receiving. \n\nCurrently, I get in at 9am, sit down, open the place up, and start moving things around on the system. While things are moved around, I can either sit and watch the progress bar, or I can browse the internet. I spend a good five hours of the eight I am there trying to come up with things to do, failing and then browsing Reddit or similar sites, searching for interesting things. One of those eight hours is also lunch, meaning that I feel like I am not appearing to do enough. I don't want to come across as lazy, so is there anything I can do that will help make myself look like I am doing more than I actually am, or other things that I can *actually* do to make what I'm being paid worth what they get from me?\n\nI will only be there just over another week, before I (hopefully) get moved to another sector as this area is scheduled to close down over Christmas. I'd like to ensure that I leave a positive impression.", "How to 'look busy'. I'm in a temp contract and I'm filling in for someone whose job is... minimal. \n\nI sit at a desk answering any basic queries at what is essentially a library that you can't take books out from. 90% of my time is spent with nothing to do (It's very rare anyone needs help with anything). I've searched out alternate tasks, of which I am working through one, but it is just copying over files from one place to another and so again 90% of the time I am just waiting on it to copy so I can do another. \n\nEverything I do is extremely heavy on downtime. Fortunately I barely see the boss and he doesn't seem to notice how little is actually going on. However, whenever he *is* around, for the few minutes of that per day, I always feel like I should be doing something more to make it look like I am doing good work, definitely worth the rather-high wage I am receiving. \n\nCurrently, I get in at 9am, sit down, open the place up, and start moving things around on the system. While things are moved around, I can either sit and watch the progress bar, or I can browse the internet. I spend a good five hours of the eight I am there trying to come up with things to do, failing and then browsing Reddit or similar sites, searching for interesting things. One of those eight hours is also lunch, meaning that I feel like I am not appearing to do enough. I don't want to come across as lazy, so is there anything I can do that will help make myself look like I am doing more than I actually am, or other things that I can *actually* do to make what I'm being paid worth what they get from me?\n\nI will only be there just over another week, before I (hopefully) get moved to another sector as this area is scheduled to close down over Christmas. I'd like to ensure that I leave a positive impression." ]

[ "You could use something like [this](http://pcottle.github.io/MSOutlookit//) to help kill the time while being discreet about what you're up to.", "Act like you're in a hurry all the time. People assume you have lots of shit to do when you´re in a hurry. Obviously don't interrupt your boss or anything, but walking quickly to and from the coffee machine etc sends positive signals.", "Since it sounds like you have a lot of reference material , you could create your own research project. Become an expert in the late Ottoman empire or in number theory- or in epidemiology of emergent zoonoses--whatever interests you. Write a research paper. Correspond with experts. Why not?", "Learn something that will help your career. Best if it helps the company too, but if not, it is still better than aimless internet.\n\n\nI was a programmer for years and I would find an issue or problem the company had and created something to help during any slack time. I also got certified in a programming language during slack time and once learned how to use my left hand for the mouse to balance any carpal tunnel syndrome issues.\n\n", "I had a similar problem at my old job, but i managed to find people who needed help frequently enough that i seemed uselful", "Dont look busy, be busy. Holy fuck if youre that good at doing your job that you get it done 4x faster than everyone else bring it up. Show someone and youll move forward. Bragging rights get you nowhere. Do your job and dont expect a god damn pat on the back. Fuck", "Have a lot of Windows open! For example sticky notes, excel and emails on one monitor, and an Adobe open on the other screen with visio charts!", "Dont look busy, be busy. Holy fuck if youre that good at doing your job that you get it done 4x faster than everyone else bring it up. Show someone and youll move forward. Bragging rights get you nowhere. Do your job and dont expect a god damn pat on the back. Fuck" ]

[ 12, 7, 3, 3, 3, 3, 2, -5 ]

[ "How to organize paper documents? It's a vague question, so here's some more specific topics I'm anxious about:\n\n- Which \"device\" is best? (ring binder, folder,...)\n- How to group things? Date? Topic (ex: Health Insurance, Taxes,...)? Institution (ex: IRS)? \"Project\" (ex: Specific job, all things related to a specfici car,...).\n- Which should I keep and which should I throw away?\n- How often should I do it? I guess every 5 years isn't very good...\n- Anything else you'd tell a newbie...\n\nThank you very much :)", "How to organize paper documents? It's a vague question, so here's some more specific topics I'm anxious about:\n\n- Which \"device\" is best? (ring binder, folder,...)\n- How to group things? Date? Topic (ex: Health Insurance, Taxes,...)? Institution (ex: IRS)? \"Project\" (ex: Specific job, all things related to a specfici car,...).\n- Which should I keep and which should I throw away?\n- How often should I do it? I guess every 5 years isn't very good...\n- Anything else you'd tell a newbie...\n\nThank you very much :)", "How to organize paper documents? It's a vague question, so here's some more specific topics I'm anxious about:\n\n- Which \"device\" is best? (ring binder, folder,...)\n- How to group things? Date? Topic (ex: Health Insurance, Taxes,...)? Institution (ex: IRS)? \"Project\" (ex: Specific job, all things related to a specfici car,...).\n- Which should I keep and which should I throw away?\n- How often should I do it? I guess every 5 years isn't very good...\n- Anything else you'd tell a newbie...\n\nThank you very much :)", "How to organize paper documents? It's a vague question, so here's some more specific topics I'm anxious about:\n\n- Which \"device\" is best? (ring binder, folder,...)\n- How to group things? Date? Topic (ex: Health Insurance, Taxes,...)? Institution (ex: IRS)? \"Project\" (ex: Specific job, all things related to a specfici car,...).\n- Which should I keep and which should I throw away?\n- How often should I do it? I guess every 5 years isn't very good...\n- Anything else you'd tell a newbie...\n\nThank you very much :)", "How to organize paper documents? It's a vague question, so here's some more specific topics I'm anxious about:\n\n- Which \"device\" is best? (ring binder, folder,...)\n- How to group things? Date? Topic (ex: Health Insurance, Taxes,...)? Institution (ex: IRS)? \"Project\" (ex: Specific job, all things related to a specfici car,...).\n- Which should I keep and which should I throw away?\n- How often should I do it? I guess every 5 years isn't very good...\n- Anything else you'd tell a newbie...\n\nThank you very much :)", "How to organize paper documents? It's a vague question, so here's some more specific topics I'm anxious about:\n\n- Which \"device\" is best? (ring binder, folder,...)\n- How to group things? Date? Topic (ex: Health Insurance, Taxes,...)? Institution (ex: IRS)? \"Project\" (ex: Specific job, all things related to a specfici car,...).\n- Which should I keep and which should I throw away?\n- How often should I do it? I guess every 5 years isn't very good...\n- Anything else you'd tell a newbie...\n\nThank you very much :)" ]

[ "I'll try to describe my method and maybe that will help.\n\nLegal documents (house, lease) go into legal sized pressboard folders with the 2-hole punch on top. For example I have one for every house, car, and apartment I've had.\n\nMajor purchases go into plastic sleeves in a 3-ring binder. I staple the receipt to the user manual in case something happens. I have categories like computer, garage, electronics, and appliances.\n\nI have several hanging folder where I keep things like medical expenses, utility bills, cr", "I use ring binders and sort the papers according to topic (salary, bills), then company and then chronologically.\n\nThis summer I went through all of my papers that I've collected and threw away so much. Only kept anything that didn't mean anything anymore (old receipts, warranties, etc).\n\nI clear my inbox about once a month (for the stuff that needs some thinking) or immediately if it's something I'm well familiar with. I have all my regular bills on automatic pay (don't know the correct word, please educate me), so there's really nothing for me to pay.\n\nIf you have access to a scanner, you can scan some stuff if you wanna have easy access or want a backup.\n\nGet rid of any excessive paper directly (envelopes, spam, etc). They only clutter. Recycle what can be recycled.\n\nAlso do this for your email account. It will make you more organized.", "I just buy cheap manila folders and label them by topic (e.g. vital records, taxes, utilities, cars, medical, etc.) You'll want to keep vital records permanently, tax stuff for a couple of years, and bills/EOBs/etc. about a year. It's best to convert the really important stuff to digital and back it up to an extra hard drive or cloud storage. It's not a big deal to lose the warranty for your Mr. Coffee, but you definitely want to have copies of your lease, tax documents, etc.", "For tax stuff, you generally want to keep anything related to taxes for at least 5 years, though it's often recommended up to 7 or 10 years. I used to work for the IRS and you can only claim a refund up to three years back (at least that was the case when I worked there in 2003). Likewise, they can come after you for back taxes up to 10 years later. So try to keep that stuff somewhere safe and easily accessible for, I'd say, the full ten years just in case. ", "I use those box-like standing paper folders (don't know the English term), according to this system:\n\n* Unpaid bills.\n* Paid bills this year.\n* Paid bills previous years.\n* House\n* Car\n* Contracts/insurance\n* Job (CV, work records, contracts and so on)\n* Warranties\n* Small manuals (these are the think manuals for stuff like USB hubs and other trivial things)", "After several years I have ended up with a shelf of three-ring binders. The binders have titles like \"Car Insurance\" and \"Appliance Manuals\" and \"Medical Visits\" and \"Company Benefits\" and \"Taxes Filed 2014.\"\n\n\nAt different times in my life I have had binders for \"Notes from School\" or \"So and So's Wedding\" or \"Buying a New Whatever.\"\n\n\nThe reason I find the binders useful over the long haul is that when I have to look stuff up, I can flip through a binder very quickly, without risking scattering the papers all over the table. \n\n\nA binder becomes kind of like a book.\n\n\n(For me manila folders are deadly - I start spreading papers out and taking individual ones into different rooms or even, say, doctors' offices, and might forget to put one back or file it back in the wrong folder. Or just spill my Starbucks coffee on them.)\n\n\nI use transparent document sleeves in the binders. So, for example, when my insurance company sends a batch of papers to me, instead of punching each one with a three-ring hole-puncher, I just put the whole mailing in its own sleeve. Including the envelope that shows when it was mailed to me. Also including my own sticky notes of what I told them or they told me on the phone. So useful to have that quickly and easily stored, all together.\n\n\nInterestingly, as everything goes electronic I am using fewer and fewer binders, as so much stuff is now on my computer. For one-page things I mail off, like a paid water bill, instead of photocopying them as I used to, I am shifting to just taking a photo of what I am sending out. Now I have to keep track of two systems though, a paper one and what is in my camera. Also camera is more likely to get lost and is maybe a privacy issue if I did lose the camera, so I only use it for low priority things, and I do not put this stuff on the cloud.\n\n\nThe binders are best when things need to be 1) referred to often, especially while you are talking on the phone 2) referred to so seldom that I will forget where I put it on my computer or which computer I put it on 3) easily grabbed for a meeting with someone, like a doctor or a landlord, in which a bunch of history is needed all at once.\n\n\nWhen a binder gets too stuffed or when I realize I have not referred to it for a year or so, I sort through it and throw out what I can and put the \"Gotta Keep Just In Case For a While Longer\" papers in a 9 x 12 white fully closable envelope, label that with whatever binder title it had, and the time range, and toss it into deep storage (that inreachable shelf) for a few years. Then when deep storage gets too full it is time to revisit deep storage and re-sort to throw out what I can then. That goes faster since usually things are more clearly outdated/irrelevant.\n\n\nThis system keeps things from landing in big piles in a desk. It does not require a file cabinet, just a shelf, or a box or two . . . hope that is helpful." ]

[ 3, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?", "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?", "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?", "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?", "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?", "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?", "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?", "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?", "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?", "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?", "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?", "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?", "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?", "Ignoring and combating intrusive thoughts. My days get so depressing so fast when my brain randomly puts upsetting thoughts and images into my head. Do any of you have suggestions for combating these?" ]

[ "Instead of trying to remove a negative thought, it's easier to change it into a positive thought. The reason negative thoughts keep coming back is because they're problems you want to solve. To stop thinking about them, you have to believe the problem is no longer a problem.\n\nSo, if you're worried about public speaking the next day, for example, the thoughts aren't the problem - it's the belief that it won't go well that's the problem. So you can just start thinking about doing well, getting complements, dealing with questions, etc. Once you're no longer worried you'll do badly, you'll stop thinking about it.\n\nIf you're worried about bigger things, like wars or starving children or something, you can start practicing leaving problems unsolved. So, you say to yourself, \"I can't fix this right now, and I can't fix this on my own.\" This puts your responsibility in perspective. It doesn't matter how you feel - you can't change the whole of society on your own. You can do a small part if that's part of your moral system, but you can't expect yourself to function if you decide to take responsibility for everything. It's good to take stock of things. What are you willing to change and what *can* you change? Are you willing to travel to war zones or third world countries to hand out food and supplies? If not, there's no need to nurse feelings of guilt or sadness about refugees. The universe is a huge place full of suffering - if you knew about all of it and took responsibility for all of it, you'd live in a perpetual state of paralyzed dispair. It's good for the social system we rely on to be helpful and kind, but you don't have to feel negative emotions in order to be helpful or kind. You need to filter the problems by what you can control and how much control you're willing to exert. I like to remind myself that feeling bad doesn't actually change anything.\n\nSo take stock, and if you're thinking about a problem you have no control over (What if an asteroid hits? What if ISIS wins? What if I'm shot at in a movie theater?) you can procrastinate solving those problems. You won't be able to know the details of the problem or what you actually need to do until the problem happens, anyway, so you can say to yourself, \"There's nothing I can do about this right now, I'll worry about it when it happens.\"\n\nIf you *do* have control over the problem (presentation to do, interview, money problems, sick cat, homework) you can focus your mind on solutions and good outcomes instead of bad ones. Thinking about negative outcomes narrows the mind because fight or flight kicks in. When you're in this state it's very easy to keep shooting down solutions because you're so focused on the threat. This works well for running away from tigers, but it's not a good solution for intellectual thoughts. Thinking positively turns off the fight/flight impulses and suddenly the problem is much more managable.\n\nFinally, keeping in mind your size and influence in the universe is important. I like to think of other humans and global events as nature playing itself out. There are floods and earthquakes and asteroids and gamma ray bursts and black holes bashing and crashing their way through the universe and our planet all the time. Our minds and the societies we create are ruled by the same natural processes. Human nature is just nature, and the larger trends are far beyond your ability to influence or control. There's no reason to be afraid of this because we have to account for size. The stories on the news are, largely, nothing to do with you because they are so much larger than the influence you have, and even these stories are nothing when faced with the utter vastness of the universe. Being small means you don't need much room in this vastness to make a nice life for yourself, so you don't need much influence anyway.", "M", "A psychologist might help? \n\nSorry, I don't really know. I work a really boring part time job and reddit helps to take my mind off of things sometimes. \nSo I think maybe if you're able to do **something** where you have to think, it'd help. An app on your phone like cross fingers works I guess? \n\nBut really, if you're at a point where you're afraid of your thoughts and / or it's bothering you, you might need a shrink. \nIt's nothing to be ashamed of. Other than being anonymous, you might also get other qualities out of it. \n\nIf anything, PM me if it's a real problem. I'm no shrink, but I'm a good listener. \n\n", "Headspace. Free app that walks you through m", "Not everything works for everyone so take this stuff with a grain of salt. What i did was literally every bad thought i would have I would say \"everything will get better, i will get through this.\", \"no! Fuck those thoughts.\" Or say \"i got this/i can do this.\"\n\nEven if i didn't believe it i still said it, still say it. Only now I believe it when I say it.", "[My response to a similar question](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/36ammr/lpt_request_how_to_stop_overthinking_worrying/crcm0ha). I couldn't talk myself out of it. Medication was a miracle for me.\n", "TL;DR: You've discovered something about yourself, similar to a sore spiritual muscle. Enjoy your growth!\n\nConsider that these thoughts and images are not random at all, but have just somehow changed from being subconscious thoughts to conscious thoughts. Now, instead of brain short circuits that disrupt your conscious thoughts, you have background noise. Now your problem changes from defending yourself from a personal attack to plugging a leaking thought pipe.\n\nConsider for a moment that intrusive thoughts may not all be from you. Now, instead of having a dysfunctional brain, you sometimes have a brain that is sensitive enough to translate the energy around you into a conscious thought or image. Now your problem changes from one of combat tactics in your mind to one of regulating a pretty cool ability.\n\nYoga, m", "My psychologist recommended this book: http://www.amazon.com/The-Mindful-Way-Through-Depression/dp/1593851286\n\nHe said something like \"Mindfulness is a way of thinking where you let negative thoughts pass you by\". I guess the idea is that you don't have to dwell on these thoughts and can somehow ignore them, which the book describes.", "Mindfulness m", "It can help to imagine the negative thoughts as something apart from yourself. I've trained myself to hear a different voice (more like tone of voice) to accompany negative thoughts so that they are easier to talk back to. It's easier to tell something to go away if it is actually separate from yourself.", "I know this is a super short answer, but, /r/m", "Go to a yoga class. You get a little bit of the m", "Count in 3s in your head (3...6...9...12...15 ect) \n\ncounting in 1s/2s/4s is to easy :). 3 its the magic number.\n", "A book I read on ADD described something called \"Automatic Negative Thoughts.\" Maybe this is what you're dealing with, or similar to it. I -think- the book was Healing ADD From The Inside Out by Daniel G. Amen. I read a couple similar books in the same time period though and it might have been one of the others.\n\nThe suggestion in the book was to write those thoughts down when you have them, then cross them out and underneath write a more positive and productive replacement thought for them.\n\nFor example if your thought is, \"I'm so stupid\" You could write that down and then underneath write something like \"I'm a very intelligent person.\" or \"I always try my best.\"\n\nBest of luck to you! I've had some personal experience with ANTs and they can be very frustrating. \n\n\n" ]

[ 36, 12, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to bowl straight Whenever I go bowling, I can barely get above 50. However straight I try to keep my arm, the ball always seems to veer to the left hand side. I've taken to standing on the right hand side so the ball swerves towards the middle. I tried following the instructions of keeping the wrist straight, twisting it slightly to the left as you release the ball and ending in the handshake position but it didn't make much difference. Any tips for how to improve? ", "How to bowl straight Whenever I go bowling, I can barely get above 50. However straight I try to keep my arm, the ball always seems to veer to the left hand side. I've taken to standing on the right hand side so the ball swerves towards the middle. I tried following the instructions of keeping the wrist straight, twisting it slightly to the left as you release the ball and ending in the handshake position but it didn't make much difference. Any tips for how to improve? ", "How to bowl straight Whenever I go bowling, I can barely get above 50. However straight I try to keep my arm, the ball always seems to veer to the left hand side. I've taken to standing on the right hand side so the ball swerves towards the middle. I tried following the instructions of keeping the wrist straight, twisting it slightly to the left as you release the ball and ending in the handshake position but it didn't make much difference. Any tips for how to improve? ", "How to bowl straight Whenever I go bowling, I can barely get above 50. However straight I try to keep my arm, the ball always seems to veer to the left hand side. I've taken to standing on the right hand side so the ball swerves towards the middle. I tried following the instructions of keeping the wrist straight, twisting it slightly to the left as you release the ball and ending in the handshake position but it didn't make much difference. Any tips for how to improve? ", "How to bowl straight Whenever I go bowling, I can barely get above 50. However straight I try to keep my arm, the ball always seems to veer to the left hand side. I've taken to standing on the right hand side so the ball swerves towards the middle. I tried following the instructions of keeping the wrist straight, twisting it slightly to the left as you release the ball and ending in the handshake position but it didn't make much difference. Any tips for how to improve? ", "How to bowl straight Whenever I go bowling, I can barely get above 50. However straight I try to keep my arm, the ball always seems to veer to the left hand side. I've taken to standing on the right hand side so the ball swerves towards the middle. I tried following the instructions of keeping the wrist straight, twisting it slightly to the left as you release the ball and ending in the handshake position but it didn't make much difference. Any tips for how to improve? ", "How to bowl straight Whenever I go bowling, I can barely get above 50. However straight I try to keep my arm, the ball always seems to veer to the left hand side. I've taken to standing on the right hand side so the ball swerves towards the middle. I tried following the instructions of keeping the wrist straight, twisting it slightly to the left as you release the ball and ending in the handshake position but it didn't make much difference. Any tips for how to improve? " ]

[ "If it continually veers to the left, you're likely twisting it \"slightly to the left\" too much. Take a game or two and don't care about score, do a slow motion version of your follow through and pinpoint where the ball will roll straight and try to not go beyond that point.", "The general tip for correcting this problem is to \"move in the direction that you miss.\" So, say you're aiming for the middle arrow, for example. If your ball crosses over that arrow but then misses way left when it hits the pins, try moving your feet a couple of boards while keeping the same target (i.e. the middle arrow).\n\n[This picture](http://www.bowl.com/uploadedImages/Welcome/Welcome_Home/angular%20adjustments2.jpg) illustrates what I'm talking about; path A was too far left, so they moved their feet left, and path B went straight to the pocket.\n\nRemember though, it's crucial that you learn to throw straight (i.e. up the back of the ball, without twisting your wrist around the side of it) and get those mechanics solid before you start trying to hook it.", "When you bowl you will notice there are lane arrows on the floor. Set your feet on the same space on those lane arrows every time you go to bowl. Next you don't want to aim at the pins I know sounds crazy but the lane arrows is where you want to aim for the center ones. The lane arrows are right at the front of the lane. Always keep your shoulders straight and parallel or is it perpendicular when you approaching the lane\n If you always start at the same spot and aim at the same spot then you can figure out how the ball is going or did you step in the same place or did you aim at the wrong arrows. \nsource took a bowling class at college was pretty sweet. Increased my score from low 90s to solid 130 ", "This is how http://izikitchen.com/i/2015/06/Cherry-Extra-Large-Serving-Bowl_red-cherry-ceramic-serving-bowl_italian-psta-serving-bowl_red-melamine-serving-bowl_large-red-ceramic-serving-bowl-design-ideas.jpg", "Start the approach cradling the ball in your left hand, right hand in the holes, thumb at the top. During the back swing and release swing, keep the back of your thumb facing the pins and don't rotate your wrist.\n\nNow for the secret: As you release the ball, act as though you were thumbing your nose at the pins. Follow through; as the ball leaves your hand continue the motion in a smooth sweep as you bring your outstretched thumb up to your face, at no time rotating your wrist. It should look like you are pointing over your shoulder with your thumb.\n\nAn uncle taught me this trick years ago and it improved my accuracy greatly. When you get this down, and the ball is going straight (it shouldn't take long) your scores will improve (low to middle 100s). Then, to get to the next level you will want to throw a ball that seems to go straight most of the length just to the right of centre and then curve into the pocket between the ten and three pins. It should break like a baseball pitcher's slider. You do this by rotating your wrist counterclockwise just a little bit as you release. It doesn't take very much rotation. You have to practice and experiment to get the rotation and its timing just right.", "I found that I overshoot when I release the ball too late. Now I release the ball closer to the ground before I \"over-correct.\" ", "First, straight throwers will have a hard time with high scores. Most high scorers will bowl with a curve/arc to the ball path.\n\nI am assuming you are bowling right handed. I think you right leg is in the way. I swing my right leg behind my left when bowling and end up releasing standing on one leg that way my right arm has a clear path to swing parallel to the alley.\n\nhttp://assets.envisiant.com/images/video_clip/thumb/16235/Bowling_Techniques_3.jpg\n" ]

[ 4, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "efficient fan placement Summer is starting soon and I don't want to suffer. I live in socal and I have had enough. AC is to expensive to install so I think Im better off with maybe 2 or 3 fans. What I need help with, is finding the most efficient ways of fan placement, and what variety of floor/tower/ceiling would do the best in keeping my house cool.", "efficient fan placement Summer is starting soon and I don't want to suffer. I live in socal and I have had enough. AC is to expensive to install so I think Im better off with maybe 2 or 3 fans. What I need help with, is finding the most efficient ways of fan placement, and what variety of floor/tower/ceiling would do the best in keeping my house cool." ]

[ "If your in a two story house put fans in the upstairs windows blowing air out. Put fans in the downstairs windows blowing in. This will blow the warmer air that rises out of the top windows while pulling in cooler air from ground level to cool the house. Also if it's possible block all sunlight from entering the house then open up all the windows and doors with screens at night.", "You can buy a window air conditioner unit for less than two hundred dollars which will cool one room. So you can sleep cool. Use a drill and screws to attach it to the window frame so no one will push it in and burglarize. Put in wood braces so the window cannot be raised. \n\nNew window AC units come with remote controls with timers. They can be set to turn on an hour before you return from work. They have a setting to raise the temperature after you are asleep. They will cool you. You can even set the timer so they are off for a half hour or so for quiet." ]

[ 3, 1 ]

[ "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!", "How to keep hands and fingers warm in the winter? It seems no matter what type of gloves I wear, as soon as I get outside my fingers immediately get numb and I can hardly move them!" ]

[ "My guess is your hands are like mine and tend to perspire a lot. Once the moisture forms, your hands freeze. Try wearing gloves that insulate but also breathe. Gore-tex works well for me.\n\nThey make work gloves with Gore-tex, too.", "I'd look into glove liners if you have to be outside for extra warmth, layer up on your clothing and shove them fingers into pockets if you have to be moving about outside when it's cold. If it's for work I'd look into equipment they can provide. Make sure you're hydrated and you might want to look into how much Vitamin D and Fish Oil you get in your diet. You may want to look into rheumatoid arthritis to see if it might apply to you. Hope that helps, stay warm.", "If you want to wear gloves, put on a pair of latex gloves underneath. I've worked outside many winters while still needing the flexibility of my fingers and this is the only thing that seems to trap the heat.\n\nOtherwise, wear mittens like everyone else suggests.", "Do your fingertips get white or change color in the cold ever? If you are that cold sensitive it is possible that you have Raynauds.", "You could try heated gloves, or a rechargeable electric hand warmer. \n \n[Heated gloves](http://www.thewarmingstore.com/heated-gloves.html) \n[Hot Pod hand warmer](http://www.amazon.com/HotPod-Rechargeable-Pocket-Warmer-Sleeve/dp/B00I4OFGZ8/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1455264738&sr=8-4&keywords=electric+hand+warmer) \n[Energy Flux hand warmer](http://www.amazon.com/EnergyFlux-4400mAh-Rechargeable-Double-Sided-External/dp/B006Q5ACKG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1455264738&sr=8-1&keywords=electric+hand+warmer) ", "You can try using lotion if you don't do that already. Putting lotion on your hands helps to keep the warmth inside.", "Wear overall warmer clothes. When your body temperature sinks, your outer extremities get cold first because the body's priority is to keep the torso heated. So by better heating your torso, you're indirectly heating you're hands+feet. ", "There are lots of simply DIY hand warmer videos on youtube. My favorite was one that just used microwaved rice or something like that.", "Mittens instead of gloves is a good tip, but what everyone seems to forget is that when your core temp drops, blood stops flowing to your extremities. So it's equally important to keep your body warm ", "Leather gloves or mittens with wool lining are great. Also a nice fleece or hoody under your jacket with a hand lining feature like [this](http://i.imgur.com/PMs0ScA.jpg) prevents the cold air from entering your sleeves, what I'm wearing in the picture is actually the removable fleece liner from my \"snowboarding\" jacket.\n\nAlso, if you're going to layer your top half with long johns, also wear the long johns bottoms because your legs will feel cold if your torso is warmer.\n\nAnother thing I use in the winter is flannel lined jeans, they're great.\n\nAs for your feet, I don't generally have a problem with my feet as they are usually too warm so I just wear regular socks as the thicker winter socks make my feet sweat and sweat in the winter is bad. But for shoes I do use my winter combat boots from the army, they're awesome.\n\nI know you only asked about hands, I just figured I'd do a bit more of a rundown for any southern folk experiencing unusual cold.", "Latex gloves underneath your normal gloves/mittens will work well! Also keep your fingers moving to pump blood through them which will keep you warm. ", "I work outside in temperatures down to -20 celcius. I use wool against the skin, from head to toe, gore-tex boots, gore-tex gloves, and a thermal suit. I never freeze.\n\nOh, and I grow a beard every winter. Makes me look like some kind of Heisenberg Santa Claus, but at least it stops the cold winds from burning my chin.", "I used to wear glove lines, etc. I recently got nice down gloves that are really much better (I don't wear them with liners). My old leather gloves were better in wind than anything (but liners didn't fit underneath), and leather mittens were actually great.", "Get a pair of mittens with wool liners called choppers (it's a style, not a brand). They have been the only thing that has kept my hands warm in sub zero temps.", "Cover well your head & neck. \n\nWhen your body gets cold, it will prioritize vital parts (blood flow).\n\nWon't do miracles but will help. And it seems consistent with your fingers getting numb and not just cold." ]

[ 4, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Keeping track of all the passwords to various accounts The last one I needed to update said I couldn't use any of the past THREE passwords that I've used. How can I possibly remember which version of my password I've used if I have to have 4 different versions? Does anyone have a good system for this?", "Keeping track of all the passwords to various accounts The last one I needed to update said I couldn't use any of the past THREE passwords that I've used. How can I possibly remember which version of my password I've used if I have to have 4 different versions? Does anyone have a good system for this?", "Keeping track of all the passwords to various accounts The last one I needed to update said I couldn't use any of the past THREE passwords that I've used. How can I possibly remember which version of my password I've used if I have to have 4 different versions? Does anyone have a good system for this?" ]

[ "http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2407168,00.asp\n\nHere's a recent article about password managers.", "KeePass. You can also use it as a portable version. I always carry an USB-Stick with KeePass on it with me.", "I tried a password manager but of course forgot the password and couldn't retrieve the password as there was no such option with the manager.\n\nWhat I do now is, I write down my password and take a picture of if and save it to my cloud. My writing is pretty small and can sometimes be illegible to other people. To associate passwords with accounts I generally draw a picture or a scribble beside it that would remind me which account such password is for.\n\nAgain, illegible writing and having a drawing only I can associate with the account makes its pretty encrypted if anyone was so get access to you cloud or photo device." ]

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