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3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 26,June,2004 | Such a great word... Anyways, today was the 2nd and final day of the yearbook deal, and it was pretty much the same as the other day, as in I didn't learn very much. But, go figure. Talked to some people at lunch today, found out they sucked as the use of these words/phrases 'fagget' 'that's tight' 'dashboard confessional and good charlotte rock' and last but not least, 'omg' pronounced OH EM GEE. Gag me with a fucking spoon and kill them with the knife that is part of the same utensil kit wrapped up in a napkin. Satt didn't show up today either, so we were completely on our own the whole time, and we kept asking questions that all the other yearbook students just kinda gave me weird looks, like when I asked what a 'flat' was, and a 'ladder' and a few other things. I had no idea, and they thought we were fucking 3 year olds. I wanted to go to Pinball Pete's tonight, but didn't. I need my god damned arcade fix. Maybe I can go when I don't have to work next. That's like, Sunday night. Maybe. Corey was also back in time for his shift today, and I dunno what when on there, I just saw the probe there and didn't worry further. Hopefully he's not fired, and just got yelled at or something of the sort. Wow, I realized that after all this time of writing shit and having teachers say its great, even though it takes 5 minutes to do and the only reason it gets done is because I want to pass the class, it actually is pretty good. I wrote some... Thing about today right in this spot, but took it down, because I know about 4 or 5 people (though, I doubt any of them read this anyways) may misinterpret. So yeah, I don't like writing. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 24,June,2004 | I wrote a big long ass update, but my computer froze right near the end of what I was typing, and I dont feel like typing it all again, so I will summarise. HELL FUCKING YEAH! I got cable modem today. It rules, to bad that I dont have the money for games/graphics card (I will soon, very very soon) or I would be gaming now. Its fast and that makes a happy Ryan I had half of my yearbook thing in Ypsi today. It was lame, I already knew mostly everything they told me, so no gain in knowladge. I also wasnt aware that yearbook was such a chick thing, because there was about a total of 12 guys, and like 110 girls. 30 or so were hot, so it worked out great for me. I didnt meet any of them because they all mostly seemed like the millions of preppie bitches that roam the highschools halls, so I didnt bother. I hate truckers hats. I wanted to stab about 15 people today because they were wearing them. I HATE THEM WITH A FUCKING PASSION! The dexter yearbook is also one of the better ones around, all the otherones suck quite a lot. They have companies take pictures for them, and even design shit. Where is the fun in that? Anyways... I will be working a lot lately, because I think Corey will be fired soon. I have to go down there tonight because nobody was at work today, and I will do the bare needs, i.e. backstop, sweep mop, and fill the lowest coolers. Also, Corey is supposed to work tomarrow, but wont be back from Alabama until LATE tomarrow, and I guess I'm going to have to go in and do some shit, even though I REALLY dont want to. Oh fucking well. If Corey gets fired, and I dont get a raise, I'm quitting. No fucking joke, because I dont want to be held responceable for all his shifts, there is no way in hell I can do that. I have shit of my own to do, not work 24/7. Ok, I didnt make that brief, in fact, thats more then I origanally posted. Whatever =P Oh yeah, I'm half posting these so you can see 'teh funnay' and half posting them so I can download them myself. Enjoy big movies. urlLink Pretty For The Party and urlLink 21 Grams |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 23,June,2004 | Still nothing much to write about. I will when I get my cable modem (Thursday) because thats also the first day of the yearbook conference in Ypsi, so I hope something intresting will happen there. Maybe I will meet some 'fine bitches'? |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 21,June,2004 | Nothing really worth talking about. Bye. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 20,June,2004 | Story of the night - At work today, some guy left his truck at the party store while he went canoeing. Now, people do this all the time, we get pissed, but it dosnt really matter. But today, this moron left his car out there that has a GAS LEAK. Party Store. Where people buy alcohol. AND CIGARETTES. Fucking moron could have blown up the place. We decided to throw some dirt over this so it didnt happen. Once the guy finally comes back, he backs up, over the curb and down TO the river. What a fucking lush. Once they are gone completely, I see that they threw a cigarette butt right on the pile of dirt. If that shit wasnt there, it would have been one intresting night. Other than that, I went to Peach Mt. for the public telescope... thing. It was cool, they had the massive (and DAMN expensive) telescope out, as well as people with their portable shit. There was a lot of cool shit to be seen, I need to go again to the next one. Thing is, they are once a month, and its not as clear as tonight was hardly ever that day falls on, but we got lucky this time. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 19,June,2004 | All you adoring christians need to know the urlLink truth! |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 17,June,2004 | Well, Phil had his little party deal tonight. First we watched 'The Ladies Man' and had some really shitty pizza (he didnt get any cheese, they got nasty toppings). People left, then a few of us went to D-ops. I didnt get to play the sweet setup, but I played Unreal, and for only playing once before, I fucking rock at it. I cant wait for my cable modem then my graphics card. It will totally rock my face. Yeah, other then that, nothing. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 17,June,2004 | I started working at the blue. The first few months I didnt mind, but then I gradually got sick of it. I'm not sure if I'm going to get the traditional one year raise because Bob is a jackass. I wish I could tell you how many hours I wasted there, but I dont feel like figuring it out. Well, I could have gone to D-Ops again today if I didnt have to work, but I did so I didnt. Oh well. Phil is also having a party tomarrow because he is going to Interlochen (someplace in Germany or something..) for 8 weeks, basically the rest of the summer. A lot of people do shit over the summer, and it makes me angry. I realized that I have never been away from this shithole town for more then 10 days at a time. I think a months vaction would do me good. Hell, a 2 week vacation would be fine as well, I'm just so sick of the same old shit week after week after week. Oh well, I guess thats life for ya. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 16,June,2004 | I dont feel like giving a full review of the other cd's, but I'll say this. They both fucking rock. Get them.... now. I went to urlLink Digital Ops today and they had this beast set up urlLink here with the 6800. All I can say is I cant WAIT for that fucking card to come out. GOD. UT04 rocks as well. I also got the original DDR and Rival Schools for ps1 today at the videoplace for cheap, so I'm happy about that. All in all, a damn good day. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 15,June,2004 | Well, I got the cd's I wanted finally. So far all I have listened to is the Beastie Boys one and heres what I have to say. Its definatly not a traditional BB cd. Its not the Boys that use a lot of guitar work and the general 'party' atitude. And, I understand this. They arent the young guys they used to be. But, I do still like it. That said, there are a few politically oriented songs that just come off... corny. This is another thing of the whole they are older deal, and want to express thier opponions more then before. I wish it was more BB traditional, but I think those Boys are gone, and never coming back. It wouldnt surprize me if this is their last album, even though it will sell well, and its a pretty damn good record. So, take what you will from that. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 15,June,2004 | Wow, a lot of people actually look at this. I'm surprized. Although, those are page hits, not unique visitors, so I'm going to add that in right below it, because I fucking want to =P I went to the DQ to get a rootbeer float. Simple, right? The bitch gives me this sad excuse for one, it has like, 1 oz of rootbeer in it. So, that got be pissed off. I even tipped her 75 cents. Tip whore. Anyways, today was generally uneventfull. I played a ton of SC today, and killed Casey every time in it, too. Me and my damn mutalisks, huh? I also STILL didn't get the cd's, but Drew supposedly gets his car back tomarrow, so I'll get him to drive me there. I'll probably also end up getting a GBA game or two, even though I already have a shitload and I should be saving my money. Fuck that. I encourage you all to leave comments, but if you do, put your name on there, I cant tell who a couple of the comments are from. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 15,June,2004 | Alright, I changed a couple things around here. The font style, and I added a counter, just for my own personal use so see if anyone really cares. Also, anyone can add comments now. Some people complained that they didnt want to sign up to do so, and that has been fixed. Comment away on my life! Now, I still dont have that damned Velvet Revolver cd, and the Beastie Boys new one came out today, so its a top priority to get to best buy or somewhere and get those CD's. Also, I heard that Franz Fern..... yeah, that guy's song the other day, and liked it. I might have to pick that one up as well. So yeah, no work today, or tomarrow, hopefully I can hang out with some people or something. Remember, I'm not just throwing this link into my away messages for no reason. Hint, Hint. Not much to say now, probably will later. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 13,June,2004 | I got the best responce at work today for getting a case for someone Hispanic Guy Wearing Backwords Hat With Tags Still On Them 'Good lookin' out, bro' and shoots me the piece sign. So little kept me from dying of laughter on the spot. It was hot today, and I was really blah all day until I had an energy drink (...Lost is the name of the BEST ONE EVAR) and yeah, then I was slightly less blah. I thought we would be seeing a nice and sexy new ATHF tonight, but nope. Oh well. I'm going to be experimenting with the layout and all that sorta shit on this site, so expect changes in a week or so, if you're lucky. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 12,June,2004 | Well, I ended up going over to Philly D's house last night and a few people were over there. We ended up making a movie because Casey is fucking obsessed with doing it, but it was still cool. I was a monster and I killed a bunch of people. It was fun. We also used some super top of the line special effects called 'Ketchup' and it worked out really nicely. The splatting sounds it made were definatly funny. People are supposedly going over to Andy's to edit to prettyness so I shall see the final project soon. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 12,June,2004 | I got my ass yelled at hardcore today for what I did yesterday. Oh well, not like it matters if I lose that worthless job anyways. Yeah, I dont really have much to write about right now, other then by the looks of it, I'm doing jack-shit tonight. Oh well, its turning out to be just like last summer... |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 11,June,2004 | I just realized another thing that pisses me off about people. This one is, that I HATE when people hate Bush for no reason at all. I mean the kind of people that think they are punk, listen to all the lyrics and shit, and hate Bush because its the 'OMG!11one PUNX0R' thing to do. A nice example of this is Emma. And, let me tell you this now, I will be blunt on this blog and give examples of people without caring if the person reads it or gets pissed off at it. I'd rather be hated for what I am, then loved for what I'm not. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 11,June,2004 | I am so fucking sick of this whole 'Reagan iz dead OMG!11' shit. He was a president, big deal. He didn’t do anything fucking incredible, but also didn’t suck the hell out of the office. Mundane. They declared today a federal holiday. Why? Because someone with power died? What about the thousands and thousands of people every day that die? They get nothing more then a report in the 10 o'clock news, if that? Is this going to happen when Clinton dies? Bush Sr./Jr.die? Devoting a whole day to them and remembering all the good they did and nothing of the bad? That defeats the whole purpose of remembrance, focusing on the good and not the bad. You need to remember things as they were, not all prettied up so to honor the person. I guess that’s why some people have a problem with me, I like it as it is. No falsities, just straight truth. And that can be applied to me in so many ways. I hate people who are fake, and I like being told the truth. Like my boss, I guess is a good example. I hear he bitches about me left and fucking right, but not TO me. How the fuck is it going to do ANYONE any good unless it is directed where it should be? Nobody else cares about your problems, tell it to the person you have a problem with so that it might not happen as often. Speaking of my job, I'm glad that it is currently impossible for me to be fired, because if I could, tonight I would have been. Got yelled at by all but 2 of the employees. The reason I cant be fired is because the only people doing what I do is me, obviously, and Corey. It would take at least a week to get someone ready to work alone by themselves, if not more. So, as it is now, I would be given something like this 'You are fired next week, but you have to train this fucker right here how to do the job' but that just wouldn’t happen. I have been working there almost a year (on the 17th is one full year). I hate that job, but maybe this raise will make it worth it? If I fucking get a raise, because of my cheap ass motherfucking boss. Whatever, I'm done here. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 10,June,2004 | Well, I will be posting a lot about how much my family sucks and the level at which I hate them, and this is the first one. I look over at the calender, which is my parents idea of telling us what they are doing, and see 'Dad Wedding/Mom Wedding /Mom b-day' I knew about all of this, just not the date that it occurs on. I asked where dad was about, 3 minutes ago and 'Oh, he flew down to the wedding yesterday'. I had NO fucking clue where he was or what he was doing. Thanks a lot, ass. And as for my mom, aprently I'm the 'thoughtful one' but that dosnt make one bit of sence to anyone but my fucking crazy mom. God, I'm so sick of this. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 10,June,2004 | Yeah, I ended up getting the Zim DVD, but I didnt get the damn CD because 'I wasn't 17'. Asshole Gore and his wife for making that damn parental advisory manditory to begin with. But, whatever. So, at work today, I was the clumsyest (wow, new word) person ever. Broke like, 6 bottles, knocked a stack of Mt. Dew over, and at the end of the night, spilled a whole fucking mop bucket of water onto the floor. Ahhh, I hate that job. I have to work tomarrow, Saturday, Sunday, and Monfuckingday. Oh well, whatever I 'Gotz to get paid'. I'm also really fucking sick of those stupid pr0n IMs I get all the time. Really fucking annoying. Also, you can plan on seeing many updates all the time, because as I'm sure you already noticed, I do it a lot. Probably end up doing it every time I get online. I dont have much of a life, oh well. Yeah. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 09,June,2004 | Yeah, so I'm going to borders right now in hopes that they have the Invader Zim DVD, and if they dont, I'm making Drew drive me every-fucking where. I called up like, 6 places, and for some reason they all thought I was saying 'Invaders in' despite the fact that I repeted myself 15 times slowing, and even to one guy, saying 'I-N-V-A-D-E-R SPACE Z-I-M' 'All im getting is 'Invaders from Mars' indicating that he typed in 'Invaders'. I hate people. And I'm getting the Velvet Revolver cd. And whatever else I feel like. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 09,June,2004 | Yeah, I mineaswell become a total blogger, and making that offical is my obligitory random ass questions thing. Last Cigarette:Never, but plenty of 2nd hand ::dies:: Last Cry: uh... months ago Last Library Book Checked Out: dont remember Last Movie Seen In a Theatre: Kill Bill Vol.2 (GOD) Last Book Read: The ultimate history of videogames Last Cuss Word: ass Last Beverage Drank: Blue Berry Bubble Gum Jones Last Food Consumed: Food? Cheesebread, Candy, Creme Savers Last Phone Call: Borders books. The assholes. Last Movie Watched: Starship Troopers Last Time Showered: hour and a half ago Last Shoes Worn: Carolina Chucks Last CD Played: Kill Bill Vol.1 Soundtrack Last Soda Drank: Blue Berry Bubble Gum Jones Last Thing Written: Ian Williamson's phone number Last Key Used: For the lock over at my work Last Words Spoken: 'Getting my drink' Last Sleep: uh... 1:30am - 11am Last IM: Ashley Last Sexual Fantasy: When? a few hours ago. Who? No telly Last Ice Cream Eaten: Incredibly overpriced Ben & Jerrys Cookies and Cream Last Time Wanting to Die: Hm... 2 weeks or so ago..? Last Lipstick: I'm a dude, KTHX Last Time Dancing: Dancing? uh... dunno. DDRing, about 4 hours ago Last Show Attended: show as in music? last battle, I suppose Last Big Car Ride: 3 1/2 hour upnorth to my Great Grandma's gravesite service Last Crush: Last? What if I've just had one for as long as I can remember? Last Annoyance: fucking mosquito bites Last Disappointment: 6th hour exam, for about 3 minutes Last Time Scolded: dont remember Last Shirt Worn: 'You Know What You're Problem Is? You're Stupid.' Last Web Site Visited: Some morons blog Last movie you rented: Honestly dont remember Last movie you bought: SNL Will Ferral (if I went to get it today, Invader Zim vol.1) Last song you listened to: Some shit on the radio Last song that was stuck in your head: That one whistle song on the KB soundtrack Last cd you bought: I'd have to check. If I went today, Velvet Revolver Last person you were thinking of: Celeste. I am talking to her right now. Last friend you made: I dont know who my friends ARE. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 09,June,2004 | Well, I have succomed to the hundreds of thousands of people who decided to make a we'blog'. Granted, my life isnt very intrested, I know there are times when I wish I could talk about something random as balls, and that sort of thing. So, instead of explain myself like a huge moron, I'm just going to post, and you will get my personality pretty quickly. Ok, now for the real 'Hey I'm going to pretend someone is intrested in my life'post. Yesterday (Tuesday) was probablly the coolest day of my life. I got into a car crash (kinda) and had taco bell after school got out for the year (w00t and a fucking half my friends), went to a park to throw some frisbee, owned in Halo (I hate that fucking game soooo much, not to mention the fucking zebra sized controllers) got into 2 separate water fights, watched the coolest movie ever, The Crippled Masters, and fell asleep in Ian's bed. Nobody was in said bed with me at the time, so get that right the fuck out of your head. Wow, I love run-on sentances. Today was kinda like, chill out day. Got home, and just did nothing. Played some Starcraft, and went upstairs to my air conditioned hole. Its been fucking hot lately. Well, I have work tomarrow, and I'm sure I will be bitching about that tomarrow at this time. Till then, later. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 18,July,2004 | Fuck this, I'm done. I lied. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 17,July,2004 | I am going insane. Seriously. I have no idea why.... |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 17,July,2004 | Yeah, not much has been going on lately. Home on a saturday night pretty much says it all. Oh well. Well, I see that there is a bunch of new shit on my bloggin site, so something may look different soon. If its intentional or not is yet to be seen. Had to work today, and thats about all that went down. Oh, I also went down to that St. Joes suck-fest, and looked for any videogaming goodies, all I found were some old ass PC games that dont work on my XP system, and a sealed Dreamcast Space Channel 5, and I dont even have a DC. It was only a buck though. I will probably end up getting one someday because there are a lot of good games and the systems are cheap. Poor Sega, I wished people supported them more. Oh well, most people are lemmings and blah blah blahdy blah. I get to work again tomarrow, lucky me! I get paid monday, and I bet I wont do anything that day either. Well, half of my summer was good, thats an upgrade from last year. I suppose. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 15,July,2004 | Well, I stayed up 'til sunrise. Heh. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 14,July,2004 | I had my sister give me a haircut tonight. It looks pretty stupid, but whatever. I can never get a haircut that looks good to me, but I stopped really caring about my hair when everyone else started to care about it. Ironic..... Other then that, just work. Want to do something tomarrow, and probably wont. Oh well. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 14,July,2004 | I decided that if I could only do one thing for the rest of my entire life, it wouldn't be listen to music, it wouldn't even be playing videogames. It would be watching a thunderstorm. The rain and thunder are just so soothing to me, I dont know why. I love the loud overhead snaps. Is it bad that I am calmed by something so destructive? Nah, cant be... Anywho, Not much has been going on in Ryan-land for me. So, I'll post some more cool shit, rather then what else I was thinking of posting (I'm sure I will soon enough though) K, first thing. urlLink Newgrounds . They have a bunch of crazy-rad flash animations and shit. For those of you who dont know, that is basicaly web animations. The site used to be riddled with pr0n ads, but they got rid of them, so feel free to browse. The naughty ones are even marked, so you can avoid (or flock) to them. Thats it for this one. I'm going to play something before I go to bed. Again. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 12,July,2004 | I just realized that I am actually having a good time doing this. Even though you fucks dont comment, its still fun. Anyways, today I found out that many, many people dont know what the 'Devil Horns' sign stands for. Pointer and pinky in the air, you know. If you are reading this, you should know what it means, rock on, or rock an roll. That sort of thing. A lot of dexter morons dont know what it means. I was at work, my brother drove by, did it, and my coworker was right there. She didnt know what it ment, and I decided not to tell her, being the cool guy that I am. So, she started asking customers, and got the strangest responces. Parents thought it was 'really bad' but when asked what it meant, they didnt know. They obviously were told (or, because they didnt know, maybe they werent) that it ment something along the lines of 'i warship the devil'. Some people mistook it for the peace sign, and the 'hang loose' sign. Crazy fuckers. Although, the funniest responce was this, 'It means peace in Iraq. It started when the war started to promote peace and to show them over there that we mean good.' I mean come the fuck on! If you dont know, then say so, dont make up some stupid bullshit lie. Again, my hope for this world dwindles every day. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 10,July,2004 | Leave some comments, assholes. I know people read this. Just comment. It'l take a few seconds. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 09,July,2004 | So, I went and saw anchorman, and it was some funny shit. It was just so incredibly stupid, that it was hilarious. Great acting and funny jokes. Will always goes to the next level with all his acting, and it makes it so much better. I mean, look at the cowbell skit! I went to that with Ian, and we just have a very thought provoking conversation: (9:08:09 PM): is it just me or dus cheny look like darth vader? (9:08:12 PM): sweet Hauntr88 (9:08:14 PM): just you (9:08:44 PM): is it just me or dose Edwards look like luke (9:08:57 PM): and bush is HAN! (9:09:08 PM): and KERRY IS LANDO! it all makes sense now! Hauntr88 (9:09:20 PM): riiight (9:10:14 PM): FUCKIN SHIT IT DOSE! (9:11:17 PM): dude, wouldent that be great if durng the debates cheny and edwards had a lightsaber fight (9:11:30 PM): and he was all 'Jhon, i am your father' (9:11:40 PM): and he was all 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' (9:11:48 PM): and droped in to that big hole (9:14:20 PM): and colen powel was all 'dag yo, this shit be wack nigga' and jumped in to his escalade and poped caps in his homies. Hauntr88 (9:15:19 PM): yes Hauntr88 (9:15:20 PM): it would (9:16:12 PM): shit dude, if i wer in charge polatics would kick ass |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 08,July,2004 | I went and hung out with Zach and Ashley today. It was a nice change from hanging out with 'the regulars'. But, we still managed to end up at Pete's. I love me 'dem videogames. Of corse, I showed them how much I rock at DDR, among other games. We came back here so I could pick up some DVD's, and we ended up picking Family Guy (only the first one, I still need the 2nd one) and watched it at Ashley's house. I also had to 'fix' her computer, but I didn't get enough time with it, plus its a really ancient machine, so whatever. Inuendo is fun! I was going to post about a more pressing issue, but once it comes up again I will, today just dosn't seem to fit in with it. Oh, I also got the UT2K4 demo, so I have just been ruling with that beast. I'm very surprized that it even runs with this shitty videocard. I almost have the money for the best card out there, but I dont know if I want to spend it all on that, because this computer has some problems, and I dont want to end up with another melted card. Maybe I need to get a new power supply for this thing. Whatever, I can worry about money later. Night- |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 08,July,2004 | All I ever talk about is stupid shit that is going on in my life. So, for this post, I'm going to share some cool shit with the all of you. First off, I'll go with the rad ass online comic, urlLink Ctrl+Alt+Del . Now, any nerd knows what that means, so thats a good hint as what its about. The guy posts a bunch of kickass comics, some relating with videogames, and they are all funny as shit. urlLink This one is the one that I found and started going to regularly for. Now for a good band. Tsunami Bomb. I found them at the Warped Tour last year, and have been a fan from that day. Even got the CD signed that day! Many of you have seen me with the shirt on no doubt, so there you go. You can go urlLink here and listen to some of the songs. Number 1 is from the newest album that isnt out yet, and 2 is the newest released, and the last is from the EP they have. Enjoy! Thats good for now, but I'll make it a point to post more about cool shit then just whats been going on recently. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 06,July,2004 | ...you have to whittle your own clothing. Think about it. Nobody wears wooden shirts, so its the only way to do it, sorry all you Hot Topic lovers! Anyways, yeah. Two nights ago I spent the night at Phil's, and that day we just did stupid shit. I had to work a little before, and after that we eventually went to d ops. I owned at UT2K4, like always. I also stole a GBA game from Meijers, because I was bored. It was a Crash Bandicoot game, and it was worth it, its a fun little platformer. We played video games until 4 in the morning. It was cool. I also woke up without anything written on my face, and I was surprised. (Last time, I woke up with a Hitler 'stache. Bastard.) So, I have been working randomly, like always. I got the biggest pay ever on Monday, being $140. Wewt. And today, Bob gave me a 20 for working my ass off on Friday and Saturday, because it was busier then hell. So, it was really $160. Yummy. Last night, I watched Big Fish. Best movie I have seen in months. When I asked people what it was about, and nobody could really give me an answer, and I understand why. Just go see it/rent it/ buy it, what the fuck ever, DO IT NOW! I'm listening to Mitch Hedburg right now, he's a comedian. Funny. Go buy one of his CD's. Again, now. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 04,July,2004 | Yeah, today I had to work 11-4, and it was rather busy. But, the coolest thing happened, there was like a fucking Vespa club. There was a good 30-40 of them, all rad as hell. They took up most of the parking lot, and all came into the party store. Busy busy. It was definatly cool to see them all. I also went to the Hudson Mills fireworks deal, like I always do. Met up with some people and hung out. Before I met up, I talked to a bunch of people from my grade that I hadn't really planned on seeing all summer, but it wasn't a problem at all. I actually found out that this blog does get around, and that high hit-count may actually be accurate. Go figure, huh? I may have decided to keep this up and running for a while longer. Atleast till the end of the summer. Who knows, maybe this time next year I'll still be doing it. Whatever, thats way to far ahead for me to be planning anything, even as stupid as it is. Yeah, later |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 02,July,2004 | Yeah, not much updating is going on. My brother with his game, and the two consectutive days that my computer freezes right in the middle of writing being the main causes, oh well. A few days ago (read: three) I went to some girls lake (Laura or Lauren?) and hung out. She was a friend of a friend, and we had shit to do, so it makes sense. Yeah, we were there for awhile, before we went all around Ann Arbor, I got another ATHF shirt at Middle Earth, and all was well. I have to work a lot lately, yesterday, today, tomarrow and the day after tomarrow. But, the last two are during the day, so its not to bad. Not intresting, is it? Also, I really am beginning to think that counter is way off, so if you actually READ this thing, make a comment. One comment, all it has to say is 'i read it' 'i hate you ryan' 'cheese is fun' whatever, just something so I know how many really read this. I dont know if I should still bother if its just like, one person reading. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 14,August,2004 | Today was Dexter Daze... day. For the possible one of you that dont live here that is reading this, its some crappy little event held downtown to sell shit. I usally go just to hang out with people, and this year was no aception. I hung out with Dirty Tom mostly all day. He had a little tent set up on some guys property that he knows right down there, so we were just hanging out and having people come join us. Not a whole lot of people were down there, but I wasn't that surprized, because it was a bit chilly, and because Dexter Daze is pretty stupid in general. Neil got this rad-ass wooden/picture/cutout thing of Jimi Hendrix, and its sweet as hell. This guy cuts pictures into pieces of wood and frames them, and they turn out sweet as hell. Me, being the loser that I am, thought it would be cool to have an ATHF one, because the guy had a bunch of other cartoon ones. But, it wont happen. The other best part, was this band playing. Not one at the gazeebo, but near the cookie place. It was three black dudes, and they were playing mainly blues songs. The lead singer had an incredible voice, and rocked at guitar. The bassist had a sweet looking bass as well. We talked to them, they said that they were actually a hard rock band, but for paying gigs they just played that stuff. Made sence to me. The shitty thing is, that there was pretty much 3 people watching them the whole time, me and Tom being 2. They had such a shitty location, they deserve to be on the gazeebo. Thats the thing, music is all about promotion these days, and not quality. They were a lot better than any band they had up there, hands down. Oh well... That also goes on tomarrow, and I will probably only be down there for like, 2 hours tops because I have to go to work at 4. I work until 10, and at 10:30-ish I'm leaving to go spend the night at some chick who I dont know's house. She is taking me and Brian to the Warped tour, and its easier if we just sleep over there. The lineup this year blows shit, but it gets me out of working, and its better than just sitting around doing nothing like this whole summer has pretty much been. So, I'll probably post again after I get back from warped, so like, 1 am monday. Yay. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 11,August,2004 | ..That being hard/metal Japanese music. I know, you probably didn't know such a thing existed, but it does. And it fucking rocks. I have obviously been playing DDR, and I always thought that the J-Pop was decent, and there are even a few songs that I like to listen to. But, this shit is different. The two bands that I currently love are 'The Pillows' and the 'Sex Machineguns'. The Pillows provide the soundtrack for the anime FLCL (Fooly Cooly, Furin Kurin if you want to be an ass about it. This is one of the only 2 animes that I have ever liked, so dont get all over my case) and it rules. They are mostly rockin out, but there are some slower songs. It does have to acompany some dramatic moments in the anime, so thats understandable. I found out about Sex Machineguns from playing Guitar Freaks. They also fucking rock. The only problem is that I cant find a CD of theirs that isnt a single that is less than $30 each. Not exactly something I want to do. Nothing of theirs is on Bittorrent either. And I stopped doing P2P. If any of you feel like being a pal, do a good ol' search on them, and send/burn me the results. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 10,August,2004 | I went and saw 'Collateral' tonight. It's the movie staring Jamie Foxx, and Tom Cruise. Basically, Foxx plays a Taxi driver, and Cruise plays a hitman. The hitman makes Foxx drive him around 'on hire' to do all his dirty work until he needs to leave in the morning. I suck at explaining, but anyways, it was a pretty decent movie. Nothing extrodinary, but still good. I'd say 7/10. It also proved that Jamie Foxx can actually act, something that I was unaware of. Other then that, I didn't do shit. Played some Doom 3, you know. Tomarrow I have to work. Oh well. I also decided that once skool starts up again (3 weeks or so... ::cringe:: I hate that place and 90% of the people in it) that I'm going to save the majority of my money each week (I. E., around $100 a week). It will probably go for a car, but I need to take drivers ed and all that good shit, so I figure that I can get a pretty good 2 or 3 grand car by the time I can drive it. Insurance is another thing... |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 09,August,2004 | I played DDR today, then went to work. Got home and a few hours later went out to Pete's. Played DDR, and they had the new version of Guitar Freaks. They replaced 4th mix, and that was my favorite. So, it kinda sucks. They are also going to get in DM 10th, so that will be a cool thing to play. They do need to fix the shit they have though, some of the sensors are a bit screwy on DDR, and the Drummania games drums are a bit fucked. Oh well, Hopefully they are smart enough to get that shit done. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 08,August,2004 | Just been working and screwing around. Playing Doom, all that good shit. Me and Dirty Tom when war-driving last night. Thats when you take a laptop with a wireless card in it, and drive around looking for Wireless Access Points. We didnt do anything to the shit we found, but we DID find a lot of them. A lot in the sub-division by Mill Creek, and the one behind Country Market. Not as many as I thought there would be in Loch Alpine, though. |
3,592,754 | male | 15 | HumanResources | Scorpio | 06,August,2004 | Yeah, I'm going at this again. But if the same shit goes down, I'll be bye-bye for good. So, I'll just post the intresting shit from the past while. On the second, I went to the most kickass show. The story of how I got there goes a little bit like this. First off, last year when Tsunami Bomb was in town, Clarissa's brother agreed to take us about 2 months before the show. The day before he decided that he didn't like me, so backed out. So, this time I tryed to make sure the same shit didn't go down, so I went with a reliable driver, Drew. Guess what he did? Backed out the day before. So there I was, asking everyone and their dad (seriously) to see if I could get a ride there. After I had basically given up, I mentioned something about what happened to Ashley. So she got her dad to drive us, and she owns me for awhile. (I decided it was only until Tuesday). The show ruled. The opening acts were pretty good, and I had a little moshing action going on there. Once TB took to the stage, I stopped with all that and listened. Such a great performance, I cannot even say. I did get to finally meet someone that I have been talking to for almost a year online at the concert, her name is Celeste ( urlLink www.cherrybomblovesyou.com click it, its painless) Anyways, she was cool, and it was great to finally meet her. We will hopefully be attending some more concerts together soon. Part 2 of three. I got my sweet ass new RedOctane dance pad for DDR. Call me a loser all you will, but this pad rocks my face off. Its really great, and I think that I can finally get to do some heavy songs with the good old DDR-ness. I got a bunch of stepmania songs for me to fuck around with once I get it all figured out on my computer upstairs. It will also rock. Last part, that happened today. Doom 3 Holy. Fucking. Shit. This game is beyond 'This game rocks, end of story' because it does. That makes sence. Graphics look great on my comp. Game is fun as hell. Scares the shit out of me (I had to pause to take a dump, and I wouldn't lie about something like that. Yeah, I'm back. SUCK IT DRY (Japanese accent) |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 23,January,2004 | Can't get moving today. Like a slug. Nice and sunny out tho. Early afternoon. Feel like being in Hawaii, lying in the sun but not getting a horrible sunburn. I've never been to Hawaii, but lately have been attracted to the '50's kitchsh of it all. Well, you know how it is. Or perhaps not. Perhaps you are highly 'motivated'. I find that I am not. My friend Natalie related an image to me, about how her mum would ride (a horse) through pineapple fields when she lived in Hawaii. You know, my body's okay, energy wise, it's just my mind. She had a hard week. She wants a day off, and I try to tell her 'tomorrow, just wait till Saturday', but she just kind of sits down, staring blankly into space, and passively refuses to get up again. Sigh. Just one of those days. Hope you all getting a bit of this sunshine. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 21,January,2004 | Hello my loyal readers (hgrhm!!)! Today was a much better day, I'm in a good mood, and put down your parkas cuz hell hath not frozen over (hmmm...did I take 1 or two of those pills?...). I managed to have a nice full day of school, and I've still got energy. I have a lot of catching up to do, but I'll be okay. Yesterday I heard Jack Kerouac recite some of his poetry over the net, and the sound was great and it was actually quite moving to hear him ask for a 'ciggy-boo'. Been listening to Ella and Glenn and Andre 3000. I've got to watch it though, I know I'm gettin' a little high over nothing. I should tend to my boys now, though (the chinchillas). They are huddled together, always a heart melting seen. I'm looking forward to their soft little noses pushing at my hand, looking for treats (raisins, their favorite). It's chilly out there tonight, so I hope you all are tucked in tight. All I have to offer you is my constant, jaw-dropped-open-and-drooling confusion. That's all. you're faithful life servent, Karolina |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 20,January,2004 | I sit here with bleeding thumb, a casulty of my failed attempt at making a 3D model for a class. I'm such a clutz, and I really don't think things through. Had a big cry session in front of Mother last night--about my general lackings, so it lasted for hours as you can imagine. Really I want to pull the covers up over my head and sleep this thing through. Thing is, I'd be in bed for years. Oh Well. I'm not going to have any of my work ready this week. Watched some tv. Ho hum. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 18,January,2004 | Hmmm...Alright, it's January 2004 and I've already had many an embarassing moment. My latest--a public emotional breakdown at school where I was struck by one of those crippling depressions which land you on the bathroom floor, immobilised. I'm learning about clay and I'm learning that my mind gets tired quick and then I make stupid decisions regarding how long to let my slab of clay dry before I can slap it into a form, and I can't seem to throw or do anything with clay. I'm a loser and socially inept but I've got two great cats who, for some inconceiveable reason, seem to like me. I cannot speak very well, which makes everyone think I'm sort of stupid which pisses me off and then gets me thinking, yea, maybe I am sorta stupid, and then I think how stupid the concept of 'stupid vs. intelligent' is and how I don't seem to be able to articulate my dislike for the vague and destructive concept of 'intelligence' and then I think, am I just really stupid and lazy? And then the voices say 'yes, now shut up because we don't like the sound of your voice.' and then I go to the psychiatrist who tells me I just need some confidence and then he bills me and I can't stop going cause I've got no self confidence and then and then and then. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 15,February,2004 | It's a bad sign when google starts putting ads concerning Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder on your blog page... |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 14,February,2004 | Well, I dropped out of school this past week (again!). I think I'm going for the world's record here, since it is the third time I have officially dropped out of an academic institution. I think I'm okay with it though. I've learned that I simply can't endure the institutional setting, no matter how un-institution like. I've decided to do nothing, for the first time in my life, to put as little pressure on myself as possible. I'll go swimming, spend time with my cats, and if I can, maybe try to write, ya know, just live. I haven't really 'written' in years. My psycho gave me some antipsychotics this week, and I took one and passed out. Since then, I 've decided to do without for the moment. He also increased the effexor by 75mg, which is too big a jump, and so the nightmares have been pretty nasty. The literature says I'm supposed to 'inform my doctor' if I have nightmares (they're epic dreams...no break and play out like a novel, the same characters and a story line...they're usually dreadful). Well I've informed many doctors of this side effect, and they don't seem too perturbed. Is there anyone out there who also experiences this side effect? |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 03,February,2004 | Notice how when some people are struck by a temporary depression they immediately stop what they're doing, and set about finding someone/something to blame so they can rid themselves of any trace of discontent (WHO'S TO BLAME??!!). Heaven forbid you're the only one around when this happens, because you have a big fat target stampped on your chest. I'm more of the avoidance clan, hiding under the bed at the first sign of life approaching. Not that one's better than the other. I have almost every personality disorder in the book. Now how about that? How can 'special needs' status accomodate me for that? I fear for my life. I fear I will take it, a knife to the heart, because it is a heart that is full of self-loathing, leaving pools of strife in it's thumping wake. I'm someone who's spent a lot of time in the waiting room, waiting for help, waiting for improvement. I had a therapist who was convinced I was causing myself to be depressed for 'artistic reasons'. If the bitch could only see the violent thoughts that triggered through my head during her sessions, I think she would not have been so cherry cheeked and sure of herself. I fear for those whom she's in the powerful position to 'counsel'. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 03,February,2004 | My teeth are soft and yellow, and just about right for the plucking. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 31,July,2004 | Wow, blogger has really become much more sophisticated since I last posted (awhile ago, admittedly). Thanks to the encouragement and kind words of a good friend, I've taken to writing again. This has been quite the week. I came out to said good friend (to Paul, the best of friends) but sort of different than you might expect...came out as not gay...it's a long story. It was truly a quantum leap for me, since I have had much difficulty being open, honest and genuine in the past. It felt so good tho, so much better than I ever could have imagined. I have experienced a new level of inner joy, can laugh with abandon, I think even my skin has taken on a healthier glow. I had my first session with a life coach, which I'm sure played an instrumental part in my opening up. If you're stuck in the 'therapy rut' I urge you to seek out information about life coaching (there's lots of it on the net) or to look up any of Rhonda (life coach extraordinaire) Britten's books and check out the Fearless Living Institute web page ( urlLink www.fearlessliving.org ). I had my last kayaking 'lesson' on small, polluted lake Wilcox (I didn't care, it was so much fun, and so nice to be on the water). I have experienced personal transformation since the last time I wrote. I look forward to sharing my life with you. Namaste. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 10,August,2004 | I would like to share the names of some of my favorite flowers that grew in the garden this year. I am drawn to the topics of bio-diversity and native flora, tho I've learned to appreciate the 'ornamental' garden as well. Ruby Flax (McKenzie seeds) I planted the seeds of this perennial wildflower directly into the earth in the spring, so I was quite surprised when I looked one day and saw a flower of the purest, most brilliant red floating above the fine, pretty foliage. That was a few weeks ago, and now there is an average of about 25 blooms per day. The small, ephemeral blooms only last a few hours a day, they don't bother to open at all if there's not enough sun. Sooo beautiful. I've never seen a shade of red like this. Marigold, 'Canadian Sunset' (McKenzie seeds) I planted lots of these in my vegetable garden. They are my favorite marigolds ever, such a profusion of the most perfect yellow-orange colour over fine, dark green foliage. They resemble little lights, and they are mesmerizing. Marigold, 'Bonanza Bolero' (McKenzie seeds) A French award winner, stunning bicolour. The colour pattern changes as the bloom opens, and looking down on a plant each flower is unique. Really pretty. Night Scented Stocks (McKenzie seeds) I, unfortunately, planted these re-seeding annuals in a container that was ultimately too small. I had to cut them back, so there is a small chance that they'll survive, and an even smaller one that they'll flower again. But the scent given off by the tiny white-purple flowers was heady and intoxicating. Very reminiscent of lilac. They only gave off scent when every drop of daylight was gone. There was truly a lack of scented flowers in the garden this year, which is a shame because I love scented flowers. Next year. It seems to me that newer plants/flowers, especially roses, are fairly bland when it comes to scent. I hear these flowers (the stocks) get better with each passing year, so I suggest planting them directly in the garden. Begonia I'm not sure what kind of begonias these are, exactly, but they are one of my favorite annuals ever. I spent one season planting these in a cemetery (as a job). There is a certain shade of luminescent pink flower, paired with a dark green leaf edged delicately with pink that is so beautiful my brain practically explodes on viewing it. These plants glow. They're surprisingly versatile as well. I'm going to attempt to pot some of them and move them indoors in a few weeks. Sunflower, 'Sunspot' My favorite flower, and I have many favorites. But this is the One. Well, sunflowers in general, not just this miniature one which is quite beautiful, and perfect if you don't have room to grow the 4' and up ones. Hemerocallis 'Rocket City' My favorite daylily EVER!! I planted this a couple of years ago in the front. This spring I moved it to a sunnier location in the back. The flowers were huge and profuse, and the colour was a stunning electric orange. Really, you need a pair of sunglasses to view these flowers. I looove them! Gooseneck Loostrife Like it's infamous cousin, the purple loostrife, this is quite the seductive plant, tho not nearly as invasive. I never see this plant in garden centres, and I can't figure out why. It's gorgeous! The foliage looks hand painted, and the delicate white 'goosenecks' that emerge in mid-summer aren't too shabby either. This is one plant that thrived this year, loved the wetness. Hmm...I hear drops on the window panes, it's raining (again!). The weather has been so very strange this summer. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 08,August,2004 | In writing this message I intend to record my experience of recovering from a bout of intense emotional mayhem. I know that I am still 'reactive' and that I'm still not doing what's in my best interests with any constancy. But I am learning more about myself with each day that passes. I am thankful that I had this opportunity so that I may reflect on why I reacted the way I did, and how I managed to find myself amongst the chaos. The first step I took towards finding perspective was to take loving actions. Very simply, I consider a loving action to be an action that will benefit one's overall health. I can take loving actions even when I'm lost in emotional chaos, by putting faith in the process, not the outcome. The loving actions I took were: taking a nice long walk by myself in the evening; thouroughly cleaning the kitchen; sitting outside quietly and listening to the noises of the night; spending time playing with and caring for my pets; working in the garden; singing along to a Sarah Harmer cd; tidying and cleaning in general; eating a healthful meal. By taking loving actions I was able to detach myself from my discombobulating emotions. I then came upon a short teaching by Buddha and it gently reminded me not to fall into the trap of shame thereby perpetuating my self-loathing. It is quite a beautiful little teaching, and I would like to share it: 'Eleven advantages are to be looked for in the freedom of mind through the practice of love, by making love grow, by making much of it, by making love a vehicle and basis, by persisting in it, by becoming familiar with it, and by establishing it well. What eleven? One sleeps happily and wakes happily, one has no bad dreams, one is dear to both human and non-human beings, one is guarded by the gods; fire, poison and swords do not affect one, the mind concentrates quickly, the complexion is clean, one dies without bewilderment, and if one develops no further, one will reach at least to the Brahma world.' |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 07,August,2004 | About ten unripe tomatoes fell off the vine today. I've got them in the kitchen. They're pretty small, but I hope they ripen. One of my cucumber plants has almost completely succumbed to bacterial wilt disease (I thought those cucumber bugs were so pretty! I didn't realise they were killing the plant they are named after). My bean plants aren't happy--they're dying off now, and pretend they don't know me whenever I approach. Strange how I get so wrapped up and obsessesed by something, and then I drop it. I've made yet another self-discovery--I'm absolutely-one-hundred-and-twenty-percent-full-on-no-doubt-about-it-out-of-my-MIND!! But in my heart, I always knew that. Ethan I am writing to you now, practically as I type this. toodles, C |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 06,August,2004 | This post is in direct response to the comments left by Ethan and Paul. I apologize for leaving this general message, I will e-mail you both as soon as I am able. About 12 hrs ago I popped the last tablet of Seroquel that I had, which is an anti-psychotic but for me takes the edge off of my agitation, the most destructive of states. The result is a depressed and sleepy me. Ethan: Thank you for your kind, encouraging words. I never, ever want to cause people to think that they must e-mail me every day. I didn't e-mail you either. It's okay, I am emotionally rocky (as if that wasn't perfectly obvious) and I'm always on this boat no matter the circumstances. But I do appreciate your thoughts concerning quelching the negative self-talk. That is a coping skill that does work, and indeed, I have been taught it over and over again. But again and again I choose to let my agitation overwhelm me. What I'm trying to say, is that I appreciate the reminder to use a skill that I can tend to overlook the times I need it most. Thank you, thank you. I hope you start to feel better soon (concerning your TB test situation). Paul: Concerning your starting a blogspot blog to post comments on my blog, well thank you! But it reveals how ignorant I am of the technical aspects of running a blog. When I first started this blog, there wasn't an option to add 'comments' and I did it through haloscan so you didn't need to have a blogspot blog to post a comment. I figured blogger had just made life easier and decided to offer the option themselves. I guessed wrong. Concerning your comment, yes, this too shall pass. And I agree, I don't like to claim the 'negative' states as being a part of me, whereas I have no problem doing so with the 'positive' ones. But I'm still very much confused and unable to picture the 'whole package of Carolyn'--and this constant struggle to overcome my despair and self-loathing seems pretty futile on these occassions. I feel as if even though I'm not 'doing anything' at the moment, that I have somehow failed. Anyway, I'm sure I'll gain some 'perspective' in the days to come. Thank you for your understanding and patience. I wish I had a better response for you. Anyway, I'm going to try and distract my brain by diving into a Sandman comic book. Hopefully when I come to, I will have a different slant on things. Carolyn |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 06,August,2004 | Why? Why am I such a resounding failure? I just spoke on Wednesday night at the self-esteem group reunion, how my life had turned around, how I felt less volatile because of the solid 'pillar' I had managed to build for myself--my strong sense of who I was. And now it's gone. Bam! Just like that, in the blink of an eye. Am I sick? Am I a horrible person? Why can't I just be, without the torture of being kidnapped by my emotions. I feel I have alienated everyone, I feel abandoned, I feel like a real bad person. Fuck. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 05,August,2004 | Thos BPD related ads at the top of my page are starting to haunt me. I have real identiy issues--in almost every aspect of my life. I know my emotions are still out of whack, and it's hard for me to know what I'm thinking. I guess that's why some subjects tend to send me over the top. Hmmm. I'm on damage control today. I would like to take this time to declare my love for Perry Farrell. 'the sea's a very easy place/ to disappear/ to drift away/ to fall asleep/ to make your peace/ I don't know if I'll make it home tonight/ but I know I can swim/ under the tahitian moon' |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 05,August,2004 | I wrote the last 3 posts with growing humiliation and anger. I'm still unsure about them. I chose to write them, to post them, because they represent a very real struggle. Yesterday was the first day within a very important time frame that I hit an obstacle in the road. I am grateful that I've been given this opportunity to grow. I acknowledge myself for not abandoning myself (no self-harm was done). Please know that the 'people' I referred to in those posts are just aspects of myself emerging. They are the passengers on my bus. There are more that you haven't met yet, that I have never formally met. They will introduce themselves tho--of that, I am sure. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 05,August,2004 | I have contacted my inner counsellor and requested an emergency consultation. For the purpose of personal amusement, my inner counsellor will herein be known as Rhonda. Our session is being recorded by The Observer. I am sitting in a small room, pink walls, two chairs sparse but warm. I am in a t-shirt and sweatpants with big holes in them. I’m slouching on the chair, arms and legs crossed, the lines on my face turned into a deep scowl. The door is open. Rhonda walks in, big fresh faced smile, taking off her coat and scarf as she enters the room, putting down her purse as she shuts the door. Rhonda: “Good evening Carolyn.” I give a stiff nod. Rhonda pulls the chair closer to me, sits down, leans forward, folds her hands in her lap and looks directly into my eyes. Rhonda: “So tell me what’s up.” Carolyn: “I don’t know. I’ve lost myself. I’ve lost perspective. Any perspective I once had I now feel was just a cheap façade to keep me from seeing myself for the stupid shit that I am.” Rhonda: “Uh-huh. I want you to tell me what emotions you are experiencing. What are your feelings? Can you identify them?” Carolyn: “Uhm, I think so. I can try. I feel very, very, very irritated. I feel hurt, I feel deceived. I feel inferior and deeply inadequate.” Rhonda: “Good. Now I want you to tell me what you are thinking. What are the thoughts connected to these feelings?” Carolyn: “Hmmm. I think that I am not a rational thinker, that I have very little intellectual ability. Because of this, I have little to nothing to offer the world.” Rhonda: “Good, I’m glad you were able to connect your feelings of inadequacy with your thoughts of not contributing to the world. Now I’m going to ask you some questions, and I’d like you to answer them as honestly as possible. Why did you first choose to become a vegetarian?” Carolyn: “I chose to become a vegetarian because I feel a connection with animals. I think we share many characteristics that are widely thought of as uniquely human. Animals have the capacity to sense, to feel emotions, to connect with other beings. Animals have great capacity for compassion. It is through careful observation of their actions that their autonomy and uniqueness are revealed. I could not rationalize exploiting animals, or condoning the cruelty and disregard that so many humans have for them. I would never, ever wish harm done upon them, as I would never wish harm done upon humans. Few humans acknowledge, cherish and respect life, as I feel it should be acknowledged, cherished and respected.” Rhonda is sitting back in her chair, her legs crossed, a sly smile forming on her countenance. Rhonda: “I would like you to consider what this reveals about you as a person.” Carolyn: “Hmmm. I don’t know. I’m a sentimental idiot?” Rhonda: “No. Carolyn, you make decisions based on YOUR experience of the world. Based on the decisions you’ve made, do you think you are a compassionate person?” Carolyn: “Ahm…well….” Rhonda: “Do you think you are being true to yourself by asserting your beliefs, your values, by choosing to be a vegan?” Carolyn: “Well, I guess so, but…” Rhonda: “Okay. Do you think that compassion is the language of the heart?” Carolyn: “Yes.” Rhonda: “Do you see any value in compassion as a contribution to the world?” Carolyn: “Yes.” Rhonda: “Do you think you contribute to the world by being an intuitive thinker? By having the rare and precious ability to accept and express compassion?” Carolyn: “um…” Rhonda: “Answer from your heart.” Carolyn: “Yes.” Rhonda: “Now, I’m going to ask you some questions, and I want you to continue to seek the answers in your heart. Are you stupid?” Carolyn: “No.” Rhonda: “Do you have something to contribute to the world?” Carolyn: “Yes.” Rhonda: “Are you able to contribute by being true to yourself—by being compassionate?” Carolyn: “Yes.” |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 04,August,2004 | Dear person inside my brain (you know who you are): Fuck you, fuck off, I don't need you anymore. You are oh-so-fucking-smart, and somehow you think that makes up for the foul energy from which you were divined and that you continue to manifest, to force to blossom by your soulful superiority. Fuck me in the brain ya little shit. You're driving me--insane. That's it. I'm going to take a shower now. Don't worry. I know karate. I can take him. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 04,August,2004 | Hmmm. I'm attempting to sort my thoughts from my feelings but it's proving difficult for me at the moment. My little cat Twinkle is lying on the blanket I've placed on my desk, and that brings me a sense of calm and love. 'Oh good Carolyn. It's good that you've managed to calm down. Good that you've accepted your idiocy, your emotional immaturity. Good that despite the ultimate absence of intellectual capacity, you are still managing to live with yourself. Cause if you weren't able to live with yourself, I'd have to come up with a good excuse to miss your funeral. And that would just be such a waste of my time. Because any time I spend in connection with you is an ultimate loss to the universe.' Sigh. He is with me again. That voice that just doesn't stop. I can lower the volume, but what's the use? He knows I know that he's there. 'Or maybe I would go to your funeral. I could wear my mask of divine Love. I could shed a tear or two, wear that suit that's just been sitting in my closet. Yes, that is what I will do. Because I know the base aspects of who you are emerging at the thought, and that simply delights me! I don't appreciate that you are transcribing. You're just not fucking smart enough to accurately depict what it is that I am saying.' It is abuse, and I'm trying to deal with it by counteracting this voice with actions of peace and love. But I feel that desire stirring up inside me. That desire to cut deeply into flesh, to stab so hard I bruise my bone, to scream and bleed and purge the Virus from my system. And he would leave me. Not for very long, tho. Let me cherish and celebrate the day. Let me fulfill a prophecy of Peace and Light. Let me know a deep love for life, from which Peace and Light will grow. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 04,August,2004 | I've been running around like a headless chicken this morning trying to get everything done for tonight. In about half an hour I have a tele-meeting with Jeannie. And then it's off to the hospital where I attended the self-esteem seminar--looking forward to seeing the ladies again. But I have to give a mini presentation on this book (doesn't sound like a big deal, I know, but when your speaking skills are as bad as mine, you gotta think of this in advance), and I made cookies, of course, little 'ol swell teacher's-pet-perfectionist Carolyn. Ethan I will write you (that is not a threat). I gotta go. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 03,August,2004 | Last night I read my brother's past blogs (I still have to e-mail him) and found myself crying hard through most of them...not that they were sad. I was just experiencing that strange mix of intense joy and pain that has been releasing itself within me as of late. I saw how similar certain aspects of our lives are--how he has had many of the revelations that I am starting to experience and accept. And, oddly enough, we've experienced them in approximately the same time frame--he started blogging when he was 23 as well. In my opinion, we even express ourselves in very similar fashions. I hope that we will become closer on account of this. I feel a deeply innate connection to him. I will also try to get him blogging again! This morning I worked on some of the homework assigned to me by Jeannie (my life-coach). Mainly on clearly defining my values, as well as my intentions. It is more difficult than I imagined, and my 'intentions' are at an early, confused, rambling stage. I will share them once I have something that resembles a rough draft. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 02,August,2004 | Just discovered my brother has been blogging for 3 yrs...and it's WAY better than mine, damnit! Will pass on the address, permission pending. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 01,August,2004 | This boy can write. I read it all and laughed my ass off. I wish there was more. Check it out. http://deliciously_sick.blogspot.com |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 01,August,2004 | To be at the dog park was difficult. Not that it's all about the people, lets have no illusions, it can't not be about the people no matter the number of dogs. There's been a rash of violence at the park which is actually the property of an elementary school. Terrible stuff, death threats to teachers, smashing the glass entryway and windows. Well, apparently the uniformed authority nabbed a few 13 year old kids playing in the playground with a large container of gasoline, a plastic slide already ignited. These kids need help. That got people talking about their children (their boys), and about how some of them had been bullied. But luckily, thank the heavens, they 'grew out' of their timidness and not only stand up for themselves but 'ya wouldn't want to cross them when they're angry.' They were happy and proud that their children had gained a sense of entitlement, and encouraged their blossoming aggression. I'm not a mother, but if I was, yes, I'd be absolutely terrified to send my child into the world, especially with vulnerability exposed. But surely there is a better answer than deffensive aggression? I don't know, I don't claim to have any idea what I'm talking about. Just a thought. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 01,August,2004 | Last night under the moon when I didn't end at my feet but spread across the surface of the earth so that I was no more. This morning when I could actually hear the rustle of the breeze above the awakening suburban din. And now people are out, mowing their lawns. The sun is out, I'm grateful for that. My Babcia's favorite flower is the sunflower. My Dziadzio used to grow them with the vegetables in the yard. My mom and her sister and brother would fight over who got to keep the heads. I understand all this now. I had to go up and feel those petals, so bright and happy and trusting in the goodness of the world, as if where it stands is the finest place on the face of the earth. I would have fought for those heads as well. Border collie Risky's heart burst with joy this morning, and she tore around the yard like a puppy, stopping occasionally to madly dig a hole, or grab a stick, or roll around on the grass, or smell something new. She is getting restless, anticipating our visit to the park to meet with her friends, both the canine and human variety. Time to go. |
2,702,951 | female | 23 | indUnk | Gemini | 01,August,2004 | Balance. I need it. Don't have it yet. |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 30,July,2004 | Will Mandela ever really retire? By Audrey Brown BBC correspondent in South Africa Mr Mandela holding the Olympic torch outside his former cell on Robben Island |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 29,July,2004 | July 29, 2004 Sydney, Australia Peace Activists, David Burgess and Will Saunders argued they acted in self defence when they painted an anti war slogan (NO WAR) on the landmark Sydney Opera House. This is part of the appeal against their conviction and sentencing to 9 months periodic detention Justice Michael Adams, of the New South Wales Criminal court of appeal, said if that were the case, all terrorists could use self-defence to justify their actions. Flashback to the slogan. Photo: Rick Stevens The otherwise tame looking, tourist magnet, Opera House must have seemed terribly menacing to these Lotus position, flower hugging, greenies on that day as they defended their very lives. The public watched in fascination while the collaborating Gestapo security guards fired live ammunition and rocket propelled grenades against these paint brush wielding heros. urlLink Opera House graffiti 'an act of self defence' 29 July, 2004 The World A spokesman for North Korea has accused the South of kidnapping its citizens after more than 450 defectors arrived by plane in the space of two days. 'This is an organised and planned kidnapping as well as a terror crime,' North Korea's spokesman said. Quoted by the North's state news agency, the official from the Committee for the Peaceful Reunification of the Fatherland said the South Korean government and 'other forces' involved would 'pay a big price', but gave no details. 'It is the most hostile act ever committed by South Korean authorities to destroy the North Korean political system,' the statement said, as monitored by South Korea's Yonhap news agency. As journalists were kept at a distance, the new arrivals were whisked away to be debriefed by officials from government security agencies, in part to ensure that there were no spies among them. |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 27,July,2004 | North Korea has rejected US suggestions that it follow Libya's lead and give up its nuclear ambitions. Washington called on Pyongyang to renounce nuclear weapons to end its international isolation and qualify for economic aid. But North Korea called the US proposal a 'daydream'. The rebuff came despite the US saying it is to donate 50,000 tons of food aid to North Korea. It said the gesture was unrelated to the nuclear negotiations. 'The US is foolish enough to calculate that such mode imposed upon Libya would be accepted by [North Korea] too,' a spokesman was quoted as saying. State department spokesman Richard Boucher said the donation of food aid, was 'to help relieve the suffering of the North Korean people', not to influence the nuclear negotiations. Hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of North Koreans are thought to have died from famine in recent years. urlLink N Korea refuses to follow Libya My Comments I cannot understand how people like the 'Dear Leader' can just sit idly by whilst his own country men are dying of hunger, is it a type of mental blindness or just indifference. I suppose I should be thankful that I cannot fathom how a person could do something like this. North Korea has nothing the world wants, it has no oil, no gold, no minerals, no food for export, no livestock for export, the 'Dear Leader' has pretty much reduced the country to nothing. There have been reports that the regime in Pyongyang is dealing in drugs and arms technology on the side in return for hard currency. There is also a lot of under the table support from the South, who don't particularly want to take on the responsibility of feeding their cousins in the North. In the past Pyongyang has resorted to extortion, where they threaten their neighbours with arms and weapons of mass destruction, into donating food aid. If it was not for the suffering of the common people this Dear Leader would be nothing more than an amusing act in an unpopular circus. I think it is safe to assume that he firmly believes that the population's collective bellies are filled with the daily propaganda and the the very sight of the 'Great General' is enough to quench their thirst and dispel the pangs of hunger. I woudn't be surprised if the food aid is taken and the citizens told that the 'Great General', has once again defeated the imperialist America, and the food was but a bribe for sparing the life of the US President. We can only hope and pray that some of this food aid will make it to the people who need it the most. In this weeks edition of Time, there was an article on the latest navel gazing excerise about the pre war intelligence in Britian, the protesters were there in numbers I assure you, it must be upsetting knowing that another deranged fool much like the 'Dear Leader' has been thrown out, and God forbid they had a hand in it. One of the banners read 'Blair lied, thousands died'. There were no quaint catch phrases for the long suffering Koreans, I suppose an adequate banner would be, 'Thousands die, nobody cares'. |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 26,July,2004 | Angelo de la Cruz , was treated to a hero's welcome of streamers and brass bands at his village north of Manila. The father of eight arrived in Buenavista under heavy police escort after spending a quiet evening with his family in Manila. He flew back to the Philippines from Abu Dhabi with his wife and younger brother on Thursday, after more than two weeks in captivity in Iraq. Mr de la Cruz has thanked the president (R) for saving his life |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 26,July,2004 | Israel rejects UN vote on barrier urlLink |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 25,July,2004 | By Tim Judah in Tindouf, south-western Algeria When one country invades another or a war starts we generally get to hear about it. Kuwait, Iraq, Bosnia, Kosovo ... Western Sahara? Over one thousand kilometres from Algiers, deep in the Algerian part of the Sahara near the town of Tindouf, 150,000 Saharawi refugees have had plenty of time to reflect on the iniquity of the world. Their country, Western Sahara, was invaded by Morocco in 1975, has no major oil reserves, a tiny population and no global strategic significance whatsoever. Hence the forgotten conflict. Important visitor Mr Annan shakes hands with Polisario leader On November 30 1998 Kofi Annan, the United Nations Secretary General, visited Smara, one of the Tindouf camps. He was there to meet the Saharawi's political leaders in a bid to break the political deadlock which has kept their people virtual prisoners in the desert for the last 23 years. Behind the scenes the UN is urging western powers to apply private pressure on Morocco's King Hassan in a bid to break the deadlock over one of Africa's longest running conflicts. The Camps When Mr Annan visited Smara he was given a hero's reception. Thousands of women, their faces tinted blue from the indigo dye they use to protect their skin from the sun and sand ululated joyfully. A forgotten people Children waved placards demanding an end to the Moroccan occupation of their country while hundreds of soldiers from the Western Saharan Polisario Front gave the Secretary General a full military welcome. Not a blade of grass grows naturally here and ever since 1975 the Saharawi refugees have survived thanks to aid and the little that they have, with great difficulty, managed to cultivate. They live in tents and mud huts but their camps are well run and clean. They have also poured what meagre resources they have into education meaning that this small refugee community in the middle of the desert has one of the best-educated populations in Africa. A high proportion of students are sent to universities either in Algeria or abroad. The War In 1975, just before the Spanish left their former colony they agreed to hand it over to Morocco and Mauritania. This was in defiance of a UN demand that the then 74,000 strong population give their own view in a referendum. From then until 1991 Polisario fought a war against both countries. The Mauritanians were driven out by 1979 but the Moroccans proved a far more formidable foe. In 1981 they began building the Sahara's answer to the Great Wall of China. The earthwork ramparts that they built snake for 2,000 kilometres across the desert. Although successful in keeping the guerrillas at bay the war was still expensive and debilitating. In 1991 both sides agreed to implement a UN peace plan to be monitored by UN peacekeepers. They also agreed to hold a referendum on independence or integration into Morocco. Human rights activists claim that since 1975 hundreds of pro-independence Saharawis have 'disappeared' over the years. In their turn the Moroccans claim that Polisario have tortured and imprisoned dissenters. The UN and the Peace Plan Ever since 1991 both sides have raised problems but now diplomatic sources say that the Moroccans are causing ever more delays because their strategy of packing the voters rolls with their own citizens has failed. The Moroccans have claimed that these people are Saharawis who live in Morocco. Without them though observers believe that Morocco would lose the vote and that Polisario would win a resounding victory in favour of independence. In that case Morocco would be obliged to leave the land it has claimed by historical right. If progress is not made within the first month or two of 1999 then Kofi Annan's plan to hold the much delayed referendum in December will collapse. That is because of the huge amount of preparations that must go in to it, including the repatriation of the refugees. If that happens it will be delayed again. In public Moroccan officials say that they do not want any more delays. On December 2 1998 Abdellatif Filali, the Moroccan Foreign Minister said: 'On the eve of the third millennium, I hope that we are equally on the eve of settling this problem once and for all.' Surprisingly Polisario officials are not at all downhearted by their years in exile and the prospect of further delays. As Radhi Bachir, a senior Polisario official explained, they are delighted by the way things are going. During the Cold War Polisario was associated with Cuba and Libya and so the west backed Morocco almost automatically. Now the tiny guerrilla movement, which today has a mere 8,000 men under arms - compared to 120,000 Moroccans along the wall, has turned the diplomatic tables. Hanging on to hope Morocco is now seen as obstructing peace and keeping the UN locked in a costly peacekeeping operation. As Mr Bachir puts it: 'The wind is blowing our way'. The Saharawis claim that one of the reasons that most of the world has never heard of them is because they have eschewed terrorism and kidnapping. The UN first called for a referendum on independence in 1965 - and the Saharawis are still waiting. If Mr Annan Fails If Mr Annan's mission fails then he has threatened to consider pulling his peacekeepers out of the territory. The last seven years have cost the UN $400m and Mr Annan, and the Americans especially, are loathe to keep on paying with no result in prospect. Umm Deleila: Queen of the Desert If the UN pulls out then war will return to this already troubled region. During his visit to Smara Mr Annan was greeted by Umm Deleila, one of the most famous Saharawi singers. Her songs of exile and lament are broadcast on Polisario radio and it is said that those Saharawis who live in the Moroccan occupied part of the country tune their radios by night to hear her. She said: 'We have given blood, the dearest thing that every human has - so we are sure that we will receive something in return.' urlLink Contributing Articles from BBC News urlLink Sahara women relish their rights |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 19,July,2004 | North Korea One of the few remaining countries in the world still under communist rule, North Korea emerged after world war II under Kim Il-sung, the Great Leader. After the Korean War, Kim Il-sung introduced the personal philosophy of Juche, or self-reliance, which became a guiding light for North Korea's development, or as some would put it, lack thereoff. Kim Jong-il the son of the 'Great Leader', Kim Il-sung took over in 1994 and is still ruling the country. Last week I watched a documentary on North Korea, conducted by the BBC, I have read about the country before in numerous articles but never actually seen a documentary, which pretty much confirmed the harsh truth about this hermit kingdom. The documentary was far from freely undertaken and was more controlled than most state jails, yet they managed to reveal a lot about this particular basket case. The crew was greeted upon arrival by minders who accompanied the film crew everywhere and took them to the places where they (the state) wanted them to film and see. First stop was the memorial to the 'Great Leader' Kim Il-sung, apparently people are regularly bussed from all over the country to pay tribute to the previous leader, an actor is employed to give a dramatic and herioc account of the 'Great Leaders' life to the visitors, basically she is given 2 minutes to extract a tear from atleast one of the gathered crowd. Everywhere the film crew were taken there were parties and celebrations, tributes to the 'Dear Leader' Kim Jong-il, or celebrations of their great victory over the enemy in the West. When they went into the country, the narrator mentioned that the roads were empty and that their's was the only car on the road for miles on end. You see petrol is a bit of a luxury in North Korea, the common mode of transportation is animal drawn wagons. They paid a visit to a housewife in some rural village, obviously ochestrated, she spends her afternoons watching state run television, this state run television shows the same clip of military parades, conducted by North Korea's infamous army, under the appreciative eye of the 'Dear Leader' every hour, every afternoon, every day, every week and so it goes on. They visited schools, where children as young as 7 and 8 are taught the name of the enemy, George W. Bush. Accoring to the official curriculum America started the Korean War 50 years ago, in a bid to take over Asia and colonize North Korea as well, to this day children and citizens alike are taught that South Korea is still under brutal US occupation and they would suffer a similar fate if not for the 'Great Leader' & his son the 'Dear Leader', who incidentally also likes to be known as the 'Great General'. The citizens are taught that those who oppose the Kims are enemies and should be hated and killed without question. While they were filming somewhere in Pyongyang, there was a power cut, as there usually is in most of the city, we were told that even though the city has to go about in the dark the memorials to the Kims are always lit, they even showed us a picture of North Korea from Space, the whole of the eastern seaboard of Asia, China, neighbouring South Korea and the middle east is awash with bright lights. However in North Korea, I kid you not, I froze the image and counted 5 points of lights across the entire country. The accompanying minders were at pains to point out through much of the documentary that it really was a wonderful paradise, in defense of the minders, the BBC crew could fly out under international protection when it was all over, whilst the minders would have to face Kim's secret police if they did not tow the line. Then came the horrors, the stories told by people who had escaped from North Korea, the political gulags, the famine that has killed an estimated 3 million North Koreans in the last 3 years, the prison camps where people are held without charge, beaten and tortured for merely being suspected of threatening the regime. Apparently, they apply a hereditory rule, it works like this, if you are suspected of being a spy or working against the state, no one really cares if you are guilty or not, not only are you punished, but your offspring for the next 3 generations also stand condemned, babies of female political prisoners are usually killed upon birth. Children are made to endure imprisonment along with their parents this is to rid the bloodline of the rebellious seed. They interviewed a officer who worked in one of these prisons, who defected to the South, he admitted quite frankly to beating prisoners on a daily basis for 3 years until the 'novelty' wore off and the priviledge was then given to the junior officers. I shall not go into detail, the account of torture victims but the one account that seemed rather tame, compared to the rest, was when a prisoner was put into a room filled to the waist with water, to cut a long and harrowing story short, he was let out after 48 hours, you figure it out. Other reports include chemical and biological testing and exprimentation on political prisoners, the above mentioned officer even recalled one of these tests which were conducted on a family, mother, father, daughter and son, just children. The defector said that when he saw the family's last moments, he knew this was wrong, that these were human beings with real emotions, not animals as they were indoctrinated to believe and that he finally had to leave. I can safely say that my mind is pretty sanitised due to the abundance of blood and gore from Hollywood, but to go into more detail into these harrowing accounts is too sickening. The documentary concluded by saying that the international community is pretty much turning a blind eye to the evil that is running the show in North Korea. They accused South Korea of preferring to maintain the 'status quo' and propping up Kim Jong-il to ensure that the regime does not collapse and they will then need to deal with the estimated 22 million starving cousins from the North. Yes the first step to failure is trying.. They said America is war weary and more interested in preventing Nuclear proliferation on the Korean Peninsula. In all fairness it is in the national interest of America, Australia and others to have the nuclear issue at the top of the priority list. The humanitarian side of it, I know, is being pursued as best as diplomacy allows. One has to understand, it's not easy dealing rationally with that lunatic in Pyongyang. George W. Bush branded North Korea in an axis of Evil, blunt, simple and hard. One can only hope that once the situation in Iraq is over maybe some of the American warships might decide to stop over in South Korea, give the 'Great General' something to squirm about. If I was not a religious person I would probably give up on life after seeing that documentary, but thankfully I am and so I know there is a special place in hell reserved for perpetrators of this evil. urlLink Contributing Articles from BBC News |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 16,July,2004 | Excerpts from BBC Article A Palestinian boy arrested with a bomb strapped to his chest has told the BBC he volunteered to become a suicide bomber to avoid going to school. It had begun at 6am that morning after he had said a prayer and kissed his mother goodbye, telling her he was going to school as usual. Instead he met some men from the al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades who photographed him for his martyrs poster, fitted him with a bomb belt and despatched him to Israel - the nightmare of many Palestinian mothers. 'If I had told my mother she wouldn't have let me leave the house,' he said. 'She would have yelled at me, cried and told me not to do it.' He added: 'It's not suicide, it's martyrdom. I would become a martyr and go to my God. It's better than being a singer or a footballer. It's better than anything.' Hussam was arrested at the checkpoint four months ago |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 15,July,2004 | Somalia's hope of a new era By Grant Ferrett, BBC correspondent in Mogadishu Continued lawlessness and the absence of a central government have deterred investment in Somalia. However, the recent opening of a Coca-Cola bottling factory in the capital Mogadishu, is the clearest sign yet of growing business confidence in the country. Standing on the white sandy beach at the port of El Ma'an, looking out across the Indian Ocean, I could almost have been viewing a scene from 19th Century Africa. Hundreds of porters were wading waist-deep into the sea to bring ashore the cargo from dozens of small boats. On the horizon, anchored in deeper waters, were the large vessels from which the small boats had ferried their contents. El Ma'an handles several thousand tonnes of goods each day without the benefit of a quayside, never mind cranes or modern containers. The impression of having travelled back in time was spoiled only by the fact that the porters were carrying crates of empty Coca-Cola bottles. The new factory was due to open in Mogadishu within 24 hours, and was desperately short of bottles and crates. The ones I was watching being unloaded had come later than expected from neighbouring Kenya because of bad weather. El Ma'an cannot work when the waves are too big. Mogadishu has a modern port. It is a 15-minute drive from the new Coca-Cola factory, whereas the journey to El Ma'an takes more than an hour along an untarred road. The problem is that Somalia's warlords, who have helped to drive the country to destruction, cannot agree who should control the port. The result is that no-one at all uses it. It is the same with Mogadishu's international airport. Any attempt to re-open it could ignite another round of fighting, so travellers are forced to use airstrips many miles from the capital. El Ma'an is able to remain open because it is very well-defended. Armed security Standing on the beach surveying the scene with me, the port's head of security told me he was in charge of 1,500 gunmen and dozens of technicals - trucks which have been modified to carry big anti-aircraft guns. When I remarked that it sounded like an army, he proudly responded that it was indeed. He and his senior assistants had all served in the armed forces during the days when Somalia had a government. His men needed to be disciplined, he said, otherwise it would not provide security. That discipline was not immediately apparent when I drove towards one of the checkpoints on the sandy track to the port. Groups of young men armed with AK-47s seemed to be engaged in an argument. One of them, who appeared no more than about 14-years-old, was sucking a lollipop. Another had his finger poised on the trigger of his gun, which was pointing menacingly forwards at waist height. He looked annoyed. As my personal militia of half-a-dozen gunmen drove through the checkpoint in a truck ahead of me - that is the standard bodyguard for any visiting Westerner in Mogadishu - there was a lot of shouting. I was not sure if the angry-looking gunman was telling my car to stop. As we drove on, he fired a single shot in the air. I prayed that he would not fire any more, and that my bodyguards would not fire back. He did not, and neither did they. In spite of all the guns and the air of incipient violence surrounding El Ma'an, Somalis do not consider the man who controls the port, Abukar Omar Adam, to be a warlord. He is referred to as a businessman - the most prominent of a growing number who carry out trade and happen to need armed guards to protect their investments. Warlords, I am told, are those who generate income not by providing services, but by extorting money through their militia, for example at roadblocks. In recent months there have been signs that some of the warlords are losing influence. In May, one of them tried to seize control of El Ma'an, provoking more than a week of fighting during which thousands of people were displaced. Alternative employment The warlord lost. Since then, many of his militia fighters have joined the businessman, and are now helping to protect the port. They are better paid, receiving $2.50 a day, and are given better food as part of the deal. The new Coca-Cola factory imported most of its equipment, including the bottling line, through the port. For the opening ceremony, the company increased the number of armed guards to more than 100. But the man behind the idea, AbdiRisak Isse, a 37-year-old Somali whose family lives in Sweden, says the real security comes not from the guards with guns, but from the goodwill generated by the company. Its 400 shareholders come from all clans and all parts of Somalia. It directly employs 130 people and suggests that thousands more will benefit indirectly, offering an alternative form of employment to being a gunman. The whole business community hopes that the arrival of Coca-Cola will in turn encourage more investment, and so help to promote security in Somalia. It is peace and nation-building through private enterprise. But for all their money and power, the businessmen are not yet strong enough to ensure the re-opening of Mogadishu's port. For now, El Ma'an remains the only option. urlLink Full Article from BBC News |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 15,July,2004 | I finally managed to track it down, the al-Jazeera website, although they prefer to call it Aljazeera. urlLink Knock yourselves out I must find a way of getting these links on the side of the site, I just don't have the time to fiddle around with html code. Anyway on the way to finding al-Jazeera, I make it sound like some sort of quest, I happened to stumble upon another site, Jihad Unspun urlLink Click Here . Well I was in for a bit of a surprise, the Jihad Unspun was some sort of news website, just heavily biased, including links like 'Zionist occupation authorities'. Anyway in the interests of wide exposure I decided to read one of the articles, Iraqi Resistance, I got bored after the first page, moved on to American Hegemony. Basically 9/11 was a CIA, FBI, Pentagon, White House, NSA conspiracy. It even went so far as to claim that 4 of the hijackers trained with the US government, I think the only thing left out was the theory that 'Jews' somehow knew about it and stayed away from the twin towers on 9/11. The article seemed, on the surface, well put together and believable, it made several references to credible news sources like Newsweek, BBC, AP etc, no links, just dates and times which makes these sources hard to verify. I tried unsuccessfully to check out the newsweek reference, no luck. So much for that. The al-Jazeera website was not quite what I expected, not as biased as I would have thought, not as independent or neutral either, I suppose that is to be expected, you can find non middle east stories, but you need to search for them and know what you are looking for. This does defeat the purpose somewhat and skews the amount of information being published. But none the less I stand corrected, I shall add them to my source of news and other stories. Watch this space.. |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 14,July,2004 | Key excerpts in the UK Butler Report into Weapons of Mass Destruction Key intelligence used to justify war with Iraq has now been shown to be unreliable, the Butler Report says. Mr Blair said he took 'full responsibility' for any mistakes made, saying that they were in 'good faith'. 'No one lied. No one made up the intelligence. No one inserted things into the dossier against the advice of the intelligence services,' he told MPs. The limitations of the intelligence in the September 2002 dossier were not 'made sufficiently clear,' with important caveats removed The 45 minutes claim was 'unsubstantiated' and it should not have been included without clarification - doing so led to suspicions it was there because of its 'eye-catching character' Intelligence was pushed to its 'outer limits' but not beyond - and there was no deliberate distortion by politicians, any blame was 'collective' JIC chairman John Scarlett should still take up post of MI6 chief - but future intelligence chiefs should be 'demonstrably beyond influence' Since the war key claims based on intelligence from agents in Iraq, including claims the Iraqis had recently produced biological agents, had had to be withdrawn because they were 'unreliable'. There had been an 'over-reliance' on dissident Iraqi sources and human intelligence in general. Mr Blair told MPs he accepted mistakes had been made. 'The evidence of Saddam's weapons of mass destruction was indeed less certain and less well-founded than was stated at the time,' Mr Blair said. But he said he had fully expected Iraq's WMD to be discovered by coalition forces. And he added: 'I cannot honestly say I believe getting rid of Saddam was a mistake at all. Iraq, the region, the wider world is a better and safer place without Saddam.' urlLink Full Article from BBC News My Comments There have been quite a few inquiries, reviews, commissions, investigations and other official forms of self examination amongst the coalition of the willing since the war. They are important and necessary to a point, that being we need to learn from the mistakes that were made, address the weak areas, strengthen what we can and try not to stuff it up again, ascertain whether any good came out of it and judge the outcome in a balanced fashion. On the flip side, it's all pointless to the critics of the war, as they will not be appeased by any of these tax payer funded exercises, only when we turn back time, invite ol Saddam around to a cup of tea, to which he responds 'Get Bent'. We then throw our hands up, wish the Kurds, the Shiites, the Kuwaiti's best of luck, nobody cares, try the Mukabarat hotline, will the critics be appeased. We don't have the time to be concerned with such trivial matters, we have our big macs, hip hop and for others, classical music, to get back to. Can someone please remind me, was it CNN (no it can't be, they're too biased), it must have been the fair and neutral al-Jazeera, that widely broadcast the numerous inquiries and commissions that Saddam instigated himself after the gassing of the Kurds in Halabja and that pesky Shiite rebellion in the south. My memory is failing me, I must be moving on in the years. We need to sit and nit pick, point fingers, assign blame, dig a nice and proper rut for ourselves, fear the future as we drag the past with us, learning from the past is irrelevant, dragging it along is more important, don't get back on the wagon, that way you cannot fall off, remind ourselves that the first step to failure is merely trying. |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 14,July,2004 | BMW's M5 will become the world's quickest sports saloon when it hits the streets in 2005, capable of blitzing to 100km/h in just 4.7sec and a theoretical top speed in excess of 330km/h , though it will be voluntarily limited by BMW to 250km/h. The BMW M5 will be launched in Europe in January 2005 and CarPoint sources indicate a mid-2005 Aussie launch carrying a price tag around $220,000. The M5's 5.0-litre V10 sets a number of new benchmarks for BMW, not the least being the first production V10 from BMW, and capable of revving to 8250rpm . With 378kW (507hp), it's the most powerful production engine BMW offers, and is only the second naturally aspirated volume BMW engine to exceed 100hp per litre after the 321hp, 3.2-litre M3 coupe. BMW claims the rear-wheel drive M5's seven-speed sequential manual gearbox (SMG) can change gears quicker than 'even the most proficient driver' in a conventional manual. It can be driven in automatic mode, or actuated manually via either wheel-mounted paddles or a good old- fashioned gear lever. The techno feast continues with a new Dynamic Stability Control (DSC) system that has been specifically developed for the M5 and offers three modes of control over the M5's power and chassis tuning. The standard mode will not allow any significant wheelspin or chassis drift and is suited to less aggressive driving. The second mode, called MDynamic, will allow the driver to fully exploit the M5's traction and performance with a higher intrusion threshold. The M5 gets a new drive option called MDrive, which allows customising by the driver of the chassis, gearchange, suspension dampers and dynamic stability control systems via the iDrive system. The M5's high performance sports seats now feature side bolster adjustment to better keep the driver in place during high G manoeuvres. Stopping power hasn't been neglected with a monstrous set of cross-drilled ventilated discs with aluminium sliding twin-piston calipers mounted behind the standard 19-inch alloy wheels. Measuring 374mm across at the front and 370mm at the rear, the M5's discs can stop the M5 from 100km/h in 36m. Huge 255/40ZR19 front and 285/35ZR19 rear tyres have been specifically developed for the M5 to strike a balance between ultimate grip and ride quality. urlLink Full Article from CarPoint My Comments *Why limit the top speed to 250Km/h? Maybe BMW is trying to maintain some inkling of responsibility. *With 378kW (507hp) of power going to the rear wheels, it's time BMW started looking at All Wheel Drive technology, Note the amount of fat rubber wrapped around the rear alloys. *I wonder if the high revving nature (8250rpm) of this V10 Engine will impact on long term reliability. *BMW's legendary history of delivering benchmark performance, on both straight line highways and winding country roads make this one scary piece of machinery. *Anyone behind the wheel of this automobile will have the time of their life scaring the bejeezus out of other motorists. |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 08,July,2004 | Dr Leonard Okello is the Ugandan head of ActionAid's HIV/Aids work and is leading the agency's team at the International Aids Conference. He is also an Aids widower bringing up three daughters following his wife's death. My day starts when most dads are nicely cuddled up in their beds. As early as 5am I am up to check on my two daughters who are eight and nine years old. My eldest daughter is HIV positive. I am a single parent. Meetings like the 15th International Aids Conference here in Bangkok offer some source of hope. But we must be true to each other in consolidating the strategies that have worked, be frank with each other, and forge meaningful partnerships as we respond to the vicious epidemic. I have known HIV when not so many people were free to talk about it as is happening today. Family tragedies My dear wife died on 9 May 1999. Two weeks later we buried her two sisters, who both died from Aids. The following week we buried my wife's brother. I have since buried my two brothers, two sisters, two aunts and two uncles. I have a brother whose health continues to deteriorate because he has Aids. Since the conference opened on Sunday I have walked to almost every stall offering information on treatment so that I have the most current information to benefit my daughter Smiley who is on anti retroviral drugs (ARVS). It's amazing what advances are being made. There is even a serious discussion on vaccines. But the question that remains hanging is when these ARVs will become accessible to all, in line with the conference theme of access to all. Trying to understand I have made a personal commitment to understand the disease and do everything possible to improve the quality of life of my daughter and the many others I am in contact with. The first time ARVs came to Uganda, I was paying more than US$1,000 a month. The prices have since come down - thanks to the international pressure on the pharmaceutical companies. However, the price of ARVs to this day remains beyond the reach of many Ugandans, even the middle classes. The noble initiative by the World Health Organisation to get 3 million people on ARVs by year 2005 will remain a dream unless there is movement in ensuring sustainability, expansion of delivery of treatment, poverty reduction and overcoming the inequalities that we see in our everyday life. The challenge calls for a committed leadership, at all levels, prepared to do business differently and putting people living with HIV and AIDS at the centre of any response. Above all we will need to put women and women's rights issues in the centre of this fight. Frustration My greatest frustration at this conference has been in the leadership front. We seem to know the answers to the problems of the epidemic but are skating around them, not hitting the answer. I have openly expressed my feelings at all sessions I have been to. The war we are in calls for action packed political action and not more commitments. The HIV and Aids problem will only be won if world leaders from George W Bush of the US to the president of Tuvalu with 12,000 citizens make political decisions to mobilise citizens and resources to fight the epidemic and deliberately build capacity at all levels in all countries. These leaders need to put their flags aside in favour of the war against Aids. I look forward to that day. urlLink Full Article from BBC News |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 08,July,2004 | I remember when the story about the Iraqi prisoner abuse broke, another story broke in Israel. While the prisoner abuse was widely condemned as it should be, those flinging the accusations, foaming at the mouth, burning American flags hysterically, shrugging off their own sins etc. They were deafeningly silent about a pregnant Jewish woman shot in cold blood by Palestinian gunmen, her four daughters who were with her also shot dead, brave honorable men that they were, freedom fighters and martyrs, ready to give their lives against the occupation. She must have been driving around in an Israeli tank, her children manning the machine guns and sporting sniper rifles. The 'emerging' (it was a fully fledged) crisis in Sudan also slipping under the radar. Last night i saw an interview of a Sudanese diplomat in America, refusing to acknowledge the part the government is playing in the crisis in Darfur, Sudan. It's widely accepted that the predominantly Arab government is persecuting the Black Africans in Darfur, you would be hard pressed to find al-Jazeera there. Yesterday I read about a car bombing in the city of Baquba, Iraq. Apparently the 9 Iraqis killed were attending the funeral of two men who were shot dead a day or two ago. A witness said the bomber drove into the funeral gathering and blew himself up. It was confirmed later that there were no Coalition forces present in the area and it looks like the targets were Iraqi civilians. Not content with killing whoever, but waiting for the funeral to kill more people related to the original victim. On Tuesday 6 July a previously unknown group called 'Salvation Movement' in Iraq, issued a public warning to Jordanian militant Abu Musab al-Zarqawi to leave Iraq on pain of death. 'We will do to you what the coalition forces have failed to do.', said the group, who appeared armed and masked. The statement accused the fugitive of 'heinous acts which killed innocents' in attacks across Iraq. 'What religion is he clinging to? Islam is a religion of forgiveness,' it said, condemning the murder of foreign workers and threats against interim Prime Minister Iyad Allawi. urlLink Article from BBC News al-Zarqawi and his band of vermin always appear in videos with hostages kneeling before them brandishing automatic weapons, hooded and can only shoot the tied up victim from the back or cut his throat from behind, brave souls that they are. Isn't it ironic, that their fate could probably be delivered by similarly masked men. Last week in Time i read an article about the insurgent movement in Iraq, there are more foreigners militants in Iraq now, backed by wealthy Saudis and other sources masquerading as charities, to cut a long story short, when the reporter finally asked them if their Jihad would be over if the Americans left Iraq, to this they replied, we will follow them back to America, so much for the liberation of Iraqis from the imperialist America. Then al-Zarqwi released videos of suicide bombers amongst his complex network of Jihad. A video showed a bomber on his way to blow up a bridge using a rigged tanker, smiling and hugging all his fellow Jihadists before setting out on his campaign. If women and children had been on that bridge, too bad, infact the more the merrier. The very nature of a suicide bomber is the higher the number of those killed, whether they are innocent or guilty is irrelevant, the better. The point of the suicide bomber is achieving martyrdom, giving his or her life for Islam in return for a place in heaven, apparently the men will be given around 70 (could be 100) virgins, not sure what treasures the female sex will be bestowed with, maybe it's equal rights or something. In light of all this one has to stop and think, why do they hate so much, I've been told that they are at the end of their tether, it's the last resort, they have nothing else to fight with. On the point of hate, i still remember watching a documentary a few years ago about Palestinian refugee camps, a small girl of maybe 10, even less, who quite emphatically said, she hates Jews, she would gladly kill Israelis if given the opportunity, innocent or not, anyone suspected of being an Israeli is fair game, a small child ready to strap a bomb to herself, filled with seething hatred. Can you blame the Israelis for erecting that fence? How do you deal with it, human rights, negotiations, apologies, a better future, all become irrelevant in the eyes of a suicide bomber. In some ways you start to respect someone who is so dedicated to his/her cause, enough to give up the gift of life. However, you have to put it into perspective, children see their parents blowing themselves up for freedom, the struggle, liberation and they are naturally inspired by this, the indoctrination has begun. I mean the message going out there is, if you don't like something or someone, just blow them up and take you with them, not interested in talking or conceding, no respect or consideration. Freedom and liberation cannot be achieved by one or two people blowing themselves up, it can be done by a concerted effort over the years by many, it's a kind of slow wearing down process for the victim, what i don't understand is, say they get this freedom and liberation in years to come, but there is noone left to enjoy it, those who wanted what they fought for the most are dead. Those left behind are few and still filled with hatred, but nothing left to hate, logically they will now have to start wondering if those left broken, battered and scattered by the campaign of their elders, will not strap explosives to themselves, filled with nails and broken glass, tables are now turned, walk into their buses, cafes, bridges and markets, and repay the debts for all the past years in the name of some cause. I also find this martyrdom process quite selfish, blow yourself up and get to heaven, that's all good and nice for the martyr, but the rest of us down here on planet earth are left to pick up the pieces and deal with the next one. Perceptions are changing all around the world, Arabs around the world are starting to realise that this not a war between Christianity and Islam, it's a war between the civilised world and the uncivilised world. In the last century Afghanistan was one of the focal points of keeping communism at bay, Iraq was also a focal point, but for keeping the Mullahs in Iran at bay. Well we're back there now making another stand against a different enemy, a flawed stand in some ways, but a stand none the less. It's going to be long, it's going to be dirty and a war we cannot lose. |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 07,July,2004 | Paul Kelly The Weekend Australian July 3, 2004 US foreign policy analyst Walter Russell Mead got it best when he told The Washington Post: 'You have a feeling that even Bush isn't saying, 'Hey, that was great. Let's do it again.'' If George W. Bush can find an exit strategy with honor, he will seize it. But, would you believe, Bush can't and won't act unilaterally. The reason that has still not penetrated Australia's debate is that the entire Iraq exercise - the transfer of sovereignty, the operation of the US-led multinational force and the timetable for elections and a popular government - has UN authorization. Of course, this endeavors may yet end in more blood, terror and ignominious failure. The strategic arguments against the Iraq war are as valid now (indeed they are more valid) than when it was launched. But there is a fundamental difference between March 2003 and July 2004. The war did not have UN authorization but the current processes in Iraq do. It is a pity that Australia's debate lacks the moral clarity and intellectual honesty to concede this. The international community, faced with the consequences of US intervention - a situation that most nations would have preferred never to have happened - passed Security Council resolution 1546 to manage Iraq after Saddam's fall. This is called dealing with the world as it exists. The June 8 resolution, carried 15-0, creates an international agreement on Iraq. The resolution ended the occupation of Iraq on June 30. It endorsed a sovereign interim Iraqi government. It affirms the right of the Iraqi people to determine their future and for elections before January 31, 2005, to create a transitional government that drafts a permanent constitution leading to a constitutionally elected government by December 31, 2005. It says the US-led multinational force has the authority to 'take all necessary measures' to maintain security. That force operates on the basis of an Iraqi request and it remains only on the basis of Iraqi consent. Iraq's forces are separate from the multinational force, which assists in their training. The role of the multinational force is to be reviewed within a year and its mandate expires at the end of 2005 anyway. This represents serious concessions under duress by Bush. The US is acting with the UN and Bush's unilateralism is in hasty retreat. The Iraqi trauma means that military pre-emption in relation to other states such as Iran or North Korea is a dead letter. There seems one certainty - whether Bush or John Kerry is president, the US will pursue its war on terrorism with more focus and prudence. Realism is breaking into US policy-making, reluctantly, slowly but surely. These outcomes are very good news for Australia. This doesn't mean that Bush has metamorphosed into Franklin Roosevelt. Bush won't concede defeat in Iraq or the lapse of his doctrine. But the march of history is extracting its own toll. So is the intensity of the intellectual debate under way in the US; witness Francis Fukuyama's frontal assault on Charles Krauthammer as part of his sustained attack on the neo-conservatives' position on Iraq. Writing in the latest issue of The National Interest, Fukuyama argues that America's war was based on miscalculations and 'the fact that our judgment was flawed has created an enormous legitimacy problem for us, one that will hurt our interests for a long time to come'. Fukuyama attacks the idea that the US is 'custodian of the international system', pointing out that other nations will not accept this. He calls on the US to be more prudent and realistic in its use of power, returning to the work of diplomacy and coalition-building and becoming more diligent about the task of nation-building. The UN resolution tries to make the best of a bad situation. It requests member states to 'strengthen their efforts to assist the people of Iraq in the reconstruction and development of the Iraqi economy, including by providing international experts and necessary resources through a co-ordinated program of donor assistance'. Full article from the Weekend Australian My Comments Many parties around the world are still unwilling to let go of their opposition to the War in Iraq, their original reasoning was supposedly in the best interests of Iraqis, i.e. spare them the pain of war and also the backing of the United Nations. But now that it's over and it's actually July 2004, it is in the best interest of the international community and the Iraqi people that we work together to make it a success, even if it means putting our differences aside. However from what I have read in the media, the pre war opposition camp has changed it's tune from 'no war', now to 'troops out'. Before I babble on any further, I need to state my position on the issue, I supported the coalition of the willing before the war, I agree that the case for war was shaky at best, the theory of WMD has been shot to pieces by now. At the time though, even the UN were not convinced that there were none in Iraq, so you could hardly blame the Bush Administration for erring on the side of caution. One must understand that if there had been WMD in Iraq and nothing was done about it, the consequences would have been too hard to imagine. None the less I personally could not care less what the reason for going to war was, but that sonofabitch Saddam Hussein needed to pay for what he has done. Like a lot of other despots around the world, he had escaped justice for too long, I like to live in reality and prefer to do something, rather than sit on my hands and pretend nothings going on. Coming back to the 'troops out' brigade, I am not asking that they change their opposition to the occupation, neither am I propagating that America is some jolly Santa Claus, free of wrong doing and utterly well intentioned. All I have to say is, keep your anti war stance, you don't need to do anything, but don't for one moment call for the immediate withdrawal of the troops, this effectively means Iraq would be worse off than ever before. It would be criminal to throw ones hands up and cry 'too much' and run back home, it would also be a slap in the face of 'best intentions of the Iraqi people'. The UN has effectively given it's blessing for the occupation of Iraq with resolution 1546, and for people to be still calling on the immediate withdrawal of the 'now' multinational force is tantamount to treachery of the very people they were purporting to be fighting for. |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 01,July,2004 | Audi is releasing it's new A3 model in Australia, the only issue is that the pricing is still undecided. Audi HQ want to increase the price of the new model to one higher than that of the current baseline A3, which is $35K. The BMW 1 Series, which is set to be released in October this year is said to be asking less than $40K for the 118i. This has Audi Australia worried, because no matter how stylish the new A3 is, and it does look better than the 1 series, BMW's brand power and reputation is too much to contend with. With competition fierce in every class of vehicle, Audi cannot afford to give the ever important price advantage to BMW. However, it gets more interesting, I read an article about the 118i today, link below, the editor was not entirely impressed with the car, lets just say the word count is higher in the 'Dislikes' column than in the 'Likes' column. If this is what the 1 series is going to be like, Audi should not be terribly bothered as time usually determines the popularity of a car. BMW 1-Series |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 01,July,2004 | Sudan The situation in the western province of Darfur seems to be improving, atleast on the surface. Yesterday the government in Khartoum pledged to rein in the pro-government Arab militias, who have been accused of ethnic cleansing in Darfur. This militia is largely known by the black African Sudanese as the 'Janjaweed', meaning 'evil men on horse back with guns'. I watched a documentary last night of the situation in the country. The Janjaweed have been accused of mass rape, burning villages, killing the old and very young alike, there are numerous reports from interviews with refugees by the BBC and other media outlets tell of babies and toddlers being thrown into the fires set by the militias. Villages are burnt and those who flee are bombed from the air by government helicopters and attacked by the militia on horseback. It's a sad state of affairs, the documentary last night was almost too much to bear, but we have to see it rather than ignore it. There is worse, the UN is desperate to supply food aid to the refugees who have had to flee with nothing more than the clothes on their back, there is a looming humanitarian disaster in the region, there are reports from aid workers in the region about surviving mothers having to watch their children die of starvation. The rainy season would have started by now in Darfur, this turns the few country roads in the region into mud and is impassable for the ageing trucks carrying food aid. Contact Worldvision or UNHCR if you would like to make donations or provide help. As I said earlier the situation is improving, the change in stance by the government in Khartoum is mainly due to pressure from Kofi Annan, secretary general of the UN and Colin Powell, Secretary of State of the United States. They are currently both in Sudan to find some solution for the crisis there. The UN's motives are clearly humanitarian, the Bush administrations are also clearly humanitarian. I have read statements that their motives may be for oil, the tired old knee jerk reaction, it seems like one cannot do Good in the world without someone somewhere with an axe to grind bitching about it. As if the rest of the world, silent and complacent up on the moral high ground, is powering their economies on recycled water. Hopefully with the international pressure from the UN and Bush Administration the situation in Sudan will improve. |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 01,July,2004 | By PIERS AKERMAN The Daily Telegraph July 1, 2004 DOOMSAYERS and ditherers should concede that the removal and capture of Saddam Hussein is an unmitigated triumph. THE unimaginable is taking place in Iraq with the former dictator Saddam Hussein being brought before a court and charged with war crimes, including the use of weapons of mass destruction against his own people, and the 1990 invasion of Kuwait. This event would not be scheduled if the United Nations Security Council had acted on numerous resolutions it passed over the past 14 years. Indeed, hundreds of thousands of Iraqis, Kurds and Kuwaitis would be alive today if the UN had acted at all, not to mention the 60,000 children killed a year as a consequence of Saddam's willful refusal to toe the line drawn by the UN. Even with the deaths of an estimated 11,000 Iraqi civilians since liberation, more than 40,000 lives which would have otherwise been lost, have been saved. These facts should provide reason enough for celebration, let alone the handover of sovereignty of the nation to the fledgling Iraqi government two days ago, but there are those (notably within the Labor Party) who still believe the coalition should not have liberated Iraq and that Saddam should not be in the dock today, but in one of his palaces. Bearing in mind that those (such as Green candidate Andrew Wilkie and ALP president Carmen Lawrence) who still want to wind the clock back also predicted floods of Iraqi refugees, starvation and malnutrition and the deaths of hundreds of thousands in the war, it's little wonder they now wish to overlook the apparent successes of the intervention. Those who were opposed to the liberation now sneer that the new government is still reliant upon upwards of 140,000 foreign troops, mainly US, for security. This is absolutely correct, but why should it be a cause for contempt? If Saddam's forces were such when he was in office that the doomsayers believed the war would involve the loss of hundreds of thousands of lives and would inevitably become a Vietnam-like quagmire, isn't it natural that the new government needs some help restoring a sense of civlity after more than three decades of dictatorship, ethnic cleansing, and genocide? After World War II, occupation forces remained in Germany, Japan and Korea for many years to provide security and support for the new governments. Why should Iraq be any different? In addition, there is the added threat from foreign insurgents determined, for religious reasons, to prevent the installation of a democracy-based government in the Middle East. Among political figures around the world, Opposition Leader Mark Latham is marginalised by his ignorance of the realities of the Iraq theatre. Quisling Spain, which believes it can withdraw from the real world, is hardly a role model for Australia. Most other European nations, through NATO, have recognised the need to rapidly train an Iraqi defence force to combat insurgents. It is in the global interest for the new Iraq to succeed. The largely Saudi-funded jihadist extremists who have attacked the West in North Africa, the Middle East, Afghanistan and Indonesia, in the past 20 years want to make a stand in Iraq. We cannot afford to lose to them there and see them go on and renew their evil attacks elsewhere around the globe. This is a most critical time for Iraqis. The cost of their liberation has not been high in comparison with the casualty count in other conflicts. Australians, among others from many nations, are working to deliver real benefits to the people via the rebuilding of the agricultural sector and the provision of clean water to more than 48,000 schoolchildren across northern Iraq. This is not the time for Western nations to cut and run, abandoning the new Iraq government and its people to the extremists working to destroy the new start. After the ravages of Saddam's regime, the Iraqis need time to come to understand and enjoy peace, decency, freedom and their own form of democracy. For them, and those interested in seeing liberty flourish, this is a very moving time. Australians should be proud that their nation has been hands-on in its involvement in Iraq but there is a lot to be done. Saddam's appearance in court is a small but necessary first step in the right direction. [email protected] |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 01,July,2004 | Saddam Hussein Death by firing squad, hanged from a crane, life imprisonment with no hope of parole? What should be done about this old despot. Before the war in Iraq, Saddam was an evil dictator, arrogant, power hungry, inhuman and cruel, when they finally flushed him out of his hole he was but a broken man, a dirty rat. I must admit I felt pity for him, but to take pity on this man would dishonor those who suffered under his regime. Iraqis themselves seem inclined to end his life, atleast the ones that suffered under him, I suppose if Saddam is kept alive, he will remain a beacon for his supporters, a sliver of hope for those who enjoyed the spoils of his dictatorship, and there are supporters for this old man. In many ways ordinary Iraqis may not be able to move on with their lives if Saddam is allowed to live, it would be hard to convince them that as long as he is alive he will not return to torment them once again. I personally do not support the death penalty as a punishment, but I feel quite strongly that this decision must be left with the people of Iraq, Saddam Hussein must face the people that he ruled over and he must be judged by them. I believe it is an important step in Iraq's history, they must decide for themselves what to do with him, free of outside intervention, much as they must take responsibility for their country and their destiny. The coalition has given them the chance to decide for themselves where they want to go. They now have the opportunity to confine Saddam and his cronies to the dustbin of history and create a future for their children. |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 04,August,2004 | North Korea is in the process of developing a new missile system for ships or submarines. A companion land-based missile is thought to have been developed already. The systems are based on the now decommissioned Soviet R-27 submarine-launched ballistic missile. The report, published in the authoritative Jane's Defence Weekly, says the land-based system has an estimated range of 2,500km to 4,000km (1,500 miles to 2,500 miles) while the sea-based system is thought to be capable of hitting a target more than 2,500km away. 'These new land and sea-based systems appreciably expand the ballistic missile threat presented by the DPRK [North Korea],' the report said. But the most significant part of the new developments appears to be the sea-based missile, as it could be transported almost anywhere in the world by submarine or ship. Such a system 'could finally provide [the North Korean] leadership with something that it has long sought to obtain - the ability to directly threaten the continental US,' the report warns. N Korea has already proved it has missiles, by publicly testing them |
3,810,098 | male | 27 | indUnk | Taurus | 02,August,2004 | DARFUR CONFLICT |
3,884,833 | female | 24 | indUnk | Pisces | 09,July,2004 | Noun. 1. A masturbator. 2. A contemptible person. 3. An idiot, an incompetent person. |
3,884,833 | female | 24 | indUnk | Pisces | 09,July,2004 | This blog has been created as an outlet to my domestic frustrations. Not generally a negative person, I have been drawn to blogging as a healthy outlet to my life. If I seem bitter, I'm generally not, but some people just know how to get under my skin. So after 7 months of putting up with a roommate from hell, I'm getting payback. This is my blog to chronicle just how much of an a** one man can be. Meet my roommate Wanker Boy (aka WB). 33 years old. No job. 2 kids he can't support. He can't hold a job and sits on the couch smoking 420 and watching television all day long. His car barely runs, registration is far overdue, no insurance. I'm actually surprised he has a legitimate license. He's living with my other roommate Angel Girl (aka AG) who is just that, a wonderful person. He's so insecure she's going to leave him I don't think she's spent more than 1/2 a day away from him in 6 months. Frankly, I wouldn't blame her. She's disabled yet working because he doesn't and they wouldn't have enough money to survive otherwise. Also living with us is his 3 year old son, occasionally his stepson from a previous relationship, and my daughter. AG and myself keep the house clean, make dinner, and see after the kids. WB sits on the couch, watches TV, yells at the kids, messes around on the computer, and occasionally cleans to floors. This blog is going to include lots of past IM's and emails just so people can get an idea of who this man really is. |
3,884,833 | female | 24 | indUnk | Pisces | 09,July,2004 | My response: Don't believe everything you hear or read on the news.... this has been on the web for a while and is just a way for spammers to get your email address. Take care, Jen His response to me: i know this is the thrid time i have sent it out so dont assume I have know idea what this is or that I belive everything I read OK!!!!!! Im still waiting for my check which I know is not coming so fuck it I like to send shit like this out & again DO NOT ACT LIKE IM DUMB OK!!!!! later WB My response back: WHOA!!! Didn't mean to offend, just wanted to let you know. I've gotten it before and thought it was real. As for you and some check, I don't know what you're talking about or why it means anything to me, but if life isn't going well at the moment I'm sorry to hear it. I don't think, nor was I trying to imply that you are DUMB. Take care, Jen His final response, can we all say bipolar? the check would be from bill gates. it does state that in there & yes the way you stated it to me was like this, dont belive everything you read or see on the news Hum sounds like your talking to a kid & not me. So thats what offended me the way you stated it. Ok anyway enough of that how is everyone doin get back? Bye for now WB |
3,884,833 | female | 24 | indUnk | Pisces | 09,July,2004 | Today... it was that I suggested going to Trader Joe's as opposed to just giving him food money because he likes to shop at Safeway. Last weekend.. it was the fact that he is borderline abusive towards his kids, yells all the time, and I just can't stand much more. I had an anxiety attack Sunday because of it. I can't stand yelling. My mother yelled at me all the time when I lived with her. SHE was verbally abusive. The rest of the time... it's hit or miss as to whether he's going to be in a good mood. If he is, and more often than not he isn't, then things are fine. We can all hang out, and life is good. If he isn't.. forget it.. he's rude and grumpy and leaves the rest of the house walking on egg shells. I'm tired of it. I feel like if I stay there much longer, I'm going to really grow to hate him and I don't want that. He's been a friend of L's for a long time and I don't see him suddenly exiting my life anytime soon. Not that I have to be close friends with him, but I'd like to be able to tolerate him and right now that's getting more difficult. He's incredibly controlling towards his girlfriend (not my problem, but I feel sorry for her) and I guess I'm just at my wits end. Sorry.. this is really frustrating me. |
3,884,833 | female | 24 | indUnk | Pisces | 10,August,2004 | Good is definitely not great. Being home causes me angst and anxiety. But for the most part recently all interactions with WB and AG have been good. Today however, as they are feeling the crunch from WB not working I get IM'd about money. You know what, when you make a contribution to the household.. come bitch at me. Until then, shut up! Here's the IM: WB (1:52:25 PM): just wondering if you were going to be helping out w/food or not Me (1:52:48 PM): I don't get paid again till next week Me (1:52:52 PM): and then.. yes WB (1:53:08 PM): & AG said somethiong about helping out w/the PG&e Me (1:53:18 PM): Yeah, I was going to cover this month Me (1:53:25 PM): she said it was only about $50 WB (1:53:36 PM): so Me (1:54:17 PM): so........ WB (1:54:44 PM): oh & why do i owe the gas station for papers? WB (1:55:07 PM): you aske dme at that time if i needed anything & use said you would get the papers Me (1:55:44 PM): OH! because the other day when I went up to get them I didn't have enough money.. I came back, but ran into AG half way and she had the papers.. I thought she had bought them, and then found out yesterday that she hadn't.. I told D that one of the three of us would get the money to him Me (1:55:57 PM): it was a mixup.. that's all |
3,941,629 | male | 23 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 17,August,2004 | 'I don't care what the mayor says!' 'Dick, you can't go through with this. You're not going to survive.' 'Oh ye of little faith. Have I ever let you down, Mel?' Mel just stood there for a moment, thinking. 'I guess you haven't. Okay, you have my blessing.' 'Thank you, buddy. Don't worry about a thing. I'll be just fine.' 'What are you going to do about the mayor? I'm sure she'll be sending the police. Knowing her, she probably called the National Guard by now.' 'Well, I was expecting some resistance. I have that little surprise for anybody foolish enough to try and stop me.' Mel gasped in horror. 'You can't mean...' 'Oh, yes,' Dick grinned. 'That's exactly what I mean.' 'No, Dick! No! That's horrible! I can't let you do it!' 'I don't think you have a choice in the matter, Mel.' Then Dick did the horrible act to Mel. 'How...could...you…,' Mel wailed. 'I thought you loved me!' 'This has nothing to do with love, dammit! It's just -' Suddenly, from out of nowhere, helicopters and S.W.A.T. vehicles surrounded the lovers. 'I'm sorry, Mel. But I regret nothing,' Dick said, with a tear in his eyes. 'It's okay Dick. You were only doing what you thought was right. I forgive you. And I love you.' 'It's not over yet, Mel,' Dick said as he was preparing to do the horrible, awful thing to the approaching armies. However, before Dick had a chance to do it, Mel, with his last ounce of strength, stopped Dick before he completed the vicious act. 'I'm sorry, Dick. I just couldn't let you do it to all these innocent people. They all have families as well. They all have lovers, too.' Mel smiled up at Dick with intense love in his eyes. 'Your faith in humanity is inspiring. From now on I will do everything I can to better the human race.' Nevertheless, Dick would never accomplish this feat. He was arrested and sentenced to jail for six years. He got out in five, and instead of helping humanity, he went back to his old, evil way of life. During Dick’s stay in prison, Mel divorced him and remarried. The new couple lived happily ever after. Until Dick killed them. The End. |
3,941,629 | male | 23 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 16,August,2004 | I just had a vision that I was elected the President of the United States in a landslide. It was the most amazing thing you could ever imagine. A slide of a large mass of dirt and rock down a mountain carried me to my doom the exact second Tom Brokaw announced the results. Then my good friend, and former Vice Presidential nominee, Herbert R. S. Dillon, was run off the road by a lunatic driver a few moments before government officials held the run-off election (since the previous election did not produce a winner.) Herbert survived, won the popular vote, but still lost because of that godforsaken electoral college crap. He did carry Florida though. |
3,941,629 | male | 23 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 16,August,2004 | Triumph the Insult Comic Dog made fun of me the other day. I thought I could handle it, but he was just too cruel. I cried and cried, but he wouldn't stop. He kept talking about pooping on me. After Triumph had his way with me I ate a whole can of French cut green beans. They tasted awful, so I called the 1-800 number listed on the label. 'Hello, customer service,' a saucy young man said on the other end of the phone. 'Yeah, hey, what's up? Um, yeah, well...You see my green beans that I just ate? They kind of tasted bad.' 'I'm very sorry to hear that,' he said. He really did sound sincere. 'Our green bean company prides itself on only shipping only the best beans in the world. I would be happy to send you a complimentary can. We apologize for any inconvenience.' 'Oh, okay. Thanks man. But I don't think I really want that. Your green beans kinda suck.' 'I'm sure if you just give our brand beans another chance you too will become one of the millions of satisfied customers served this ye- ' 'You guys make anything 'sides green beans?' I wondered. 'Corn.' 'Hmm, could you send me some of 'dat? I like corn.' 'It's on the way. Thank you for calling customer service, and have a nice day!' The corn arrived almost instantaneously. They actually shipped it next-day air. As happy as I was to receive the package, there was one small problem. So I called the 800 number again. But it was after 5 P.M. Pacific time, and they were closed. I had to wait through the whole weekend before I could talk to them. On Monday, I made contact. 'Welcome to customer service!' 'You mother $%&#ing ass-lickers! I'ma gonna kill you! I hate canned corn, you bitches! I thought you were gonna send me corn on da cob! Not 'dis bull crap s#*%! I hate you! I hate you! I hope your company dies! You can't do this crap to people. It's just not right!' I began to cry. 'Sir, this is a professional call. If you continue to use that language I will disconnect.' And so I was disconnected and apparently my telephone number was blocked from calling their offices ever again. I took the piece-of-crap can of corn to a homeless shelter and vowed never to eat vegetables again. |
3,941,629 | male | 23 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 16,August,2004 | I started to read a book tonight. It was about all sorts of interesting things. Then I fell asleep. I dreamt that I was living inside of a light-bulb. Judging from the brightness it must have been a 100-watter. It was quite cozy, enough room for my six children to each have their own bedrooms. The only problem was that the light-bulb was constantly left on. The children were all very tired but they could not rest because the light was shining so brightly in their faces. We all huddled around as a family and prayed that the endless brightness would cease so we could all rest comfortably. Thankfully, our prayers were answered. Pity that we all died in the end. |
3,941,629 | male | 23 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 16,August,2004 | Somebody said something very interesting to me today. 'Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart!' they told me after I finished buying some hygiene products. They were feminine hygiene products, but not the ones you may be thinking of. 'You're very welcome,' I said. 'I'm glad it makes you so happy.' 'You have no idea,' I was told. 'I sure don't,' I informed the salesperson. Then I hopped in my 3-seater airplane and flew off to go visit with Morgan Freeman. He was quite surprised. That just happened to be our first meeting. He agreed with me that ESPN NFL Football is better than Madden this year. There really is no contest. I waived goodbye and off I was to go kill some coyotes. I searched for three hours and unfortunately didn't find any. Eventually my plane ran out of gas and crashed into the Indian Ocean. Sucks to be me. |
3,941,629 | male | 23 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 15,August,2004 | I have this really cool remote control. You should see it sometime. Mayhaps I'll post a picture of it one day. I also have several awesome gold cylinders on my desk. They're about the size of a soda can. In fact, they are soda cans. Empty Caffeine Free Diet Coke cans to be exact. Now don't get all excited on me, they're not mine. My wife drinks that crap. Wolf Blitzer probably drinks it too. Princess Peach and Daisy as well, no doubt. Tom Brady is going to get his 3rd ring and SuperBowl MVP this year. He-Man told me so. He came up to me with his battle-axe and crossbow and explained everything. 'Pats are lookin' good this year again. You know they've won 15 games in a row, and there's no reason to doubt them now.' Thanks He-Man. Now you jynxed the whole damned season. Screw you! Actually, He-Man is pretty cool. He is the Master of the Universe after all. And this brings me quite nicely to my next point: Chester Cheetah, Master of the Cheetos. Believe it or not I once named my tennis racquet after the famed snack food icon. But that was a long, long time ago. I haven't stepped foot on a tennis court in a good 5 years. Maybe 4. I came to the conclusion that tennis sucks. Hopefully network TV will come to the same (I'm looking your way, NBC.) I just escaped from Monkey Island. You can imagine how that went. 9694. |
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