id
int64 5.11k
4.34M
| gender
stringclasses 2
values | age
int64 13
48
| topic
stringclasses 40
values | sign
stringclasses 12
values | date
stringlengths 2
18
| text
stringlengths 4
790k
|
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1,241,231 | male | 37 | Technology | Aries | 27,July,2004 | urlLink Control Room - FilmReviews - www.smh.com.au : 'CONTROL ROOM Directed by Jehane Noujaim' |
1,241,231 | male | 37 | Technology | Aries | 19,July,2004 | urlLink The US media could learn from al-Jazeera - www.theage.com.au : 'Maybe President Bush should ask al-Jazeera for some advice on how to introduce some of its BBC-based journalistic values into the American popular media ' |
1,241,231 | male | 37 | Technology | Aries | 19,July,2004 | urlLink The Australian: Why can't Arabs understand it's all part of the show? [June 30, 2004] . Emma Tom, who appears on Sunrise, the channel 7 breakfast show once a week, and who is a bit if a dag writes this cute satire, which is very unusual for an Aussie as satire normally whizzes over the head of the average aussie. 'DEAR Al-Jazeera, We here in the Axis of America want to register our disgust at your continued broadcasting of gruesome casualties and kidnappings in the Middle East. Now that we've handed the new and improved Iraq back to its people (don't you just love a makeover?) we think it's high time you learned to deal responsibly with images of ultra violence by following the lead of the civilised world and restricting it to blockbuster films and children's cartoons.'.......... |
1,241,231 | male | 37 | Technology | Aries | 19,July,2004 | FAILURE of intelligence? What failure? Washington's spies, analysts and sundry apparatchiks were highly successful in giving their masters exactly what they wanted - an excuse to wage the war that Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz had been planning for years. Unsuccessful in persuading Bill Clinton to wage it, they knew they could enthuse George W. Bush. urlLink The Australian: Where are the bodies of evidence? [ 27jul04 ] |
1,241,231 | male | 37 | Technology | Aries | 19,July,2004 | Short but good interview with Michael Moore, director/ maker of the documentary Fahrenheit 9/11. In Fahrenheit 9/11 I wanted to deal with the mass fear and the mass hysteria that those in power often try to create, in part to distract the population from the real issues that we need to be dealing with, and in part to see that their agenda is enacted. There is no way that the Bush administration could have had the Iraq war unless they first tried to scare the American people into believing that Saddam Hussein had something to do with September 11. In this film I wanted to show Americans how they're manipulated with all of this fear, with these Orange alerts, and this thinking that we could be killed and attacked at any time. This is the essence of what Orwell was saying in 1984: that the leaders needed to have the people in a constant state of fear. Because if you could convince them that the enemy was everywhere, anywhere, and could attack at any time, the people would willingly give up their freedoms in order to be protected. And that is what they have been attempting to do for the last two and a half years. urlLink BBC - Films - Michael Moore : 'Fahrenheit 9/11' |
1,241,231 | male | 37 | Technology | Aries | 06,July,2004 | Last week The Age published, under the Title 'The corruption of democracy', the edited version of Queen's counsel urlLink Tony Fitzgerald's written speech for the Sydney launch of journalist Margo Kingston's book urlLink Not Happy, John - Defending our Democracy (Penguin, 2004). It gives Australia, Australian politicians and the public a good rebuke. However, in todays paper, Michael Scammell, a former media officer for the US consulate in Melbourne takes issue with this in The Age artcile urlLink The real corrupters of democracy? The media , trying to point the finger at the media as the source of the corruption of democracy. My view: It's only with a free and open media that we can have true democracy and 'keep the bastards honest'. That brings up my next (soon) blog entry. Channel 9 is owned by Kerry Packer, and the respected 'Sunday' show did a hatchet Job on Mark Latham on Sunday. There is a huge amount of muck raking at present. Most of it is coming from the non-indpendent media who have taken 'sides' and are out to influence our opinions. 'The Australian', 'Hearld Sun', news.com.au. - News Corp (Rupert Murdoch) Channel 9, ninemsn.com.au - Kerry Packer Fairfax publish the Age and the Sydney Morning Herald, and seem to be free of their owner's opinions. |
1,241,231 | male | 37 | Technology | Aries | 07,August,2004 | 'Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.' -- George W. Bush urlLink Quoted from Sydney Morning Herald |
1,241,231 | male | 37 | Technology | Aries | 07,August,2004 | Fairly shocked at this High Court decision as it is very un-Australian. Australia's treatment of refugees and asylum seekers is shocking, and it will only get better under a Labor government. urlLink Court upholds indefinite detention - Immigration - www.theage.com.au : 'The High Court has upheld the Federal Government's right to detain failed asylum seekers indefinitely in a decision that has angered refugee supporters and opposition parties. The court, in a 4-3 finding yesterday, ruled that unsuccessful asylum seekers who could not be removed to another country despite their wish to leave Australia could be held in immigration detention indefinitely. It overruled an earlier Federal Court ruling that failed asylum seekers should not be detained indefinitely if no country could be found to take them. The decision has led to calls for a bill of rights and amendments to migration legislation. Civil libertarians say the ruling fails to recognise basic human rights and a lawyer drew comparisons to the situation of David Hicks and Mamdouh Habib in Guantanamo Bay.' |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 28,June,2004 | A majority of people are far to stupid to ever effectively use a computer. |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 25,June,2004 | Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. -The Bard |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 24,June,2004 | Is low carb really the way to go . As I entered my office I notice the unfamiliar shadow but reacted too slowly. |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 23,June,2004 | What can you do? Even the best laid plans can fail. Over all a good day. The new low carb Atkins diet is no real stress and I am prob. eating better. I do need to pull out the Nordic trak and start exercising to speed things up. I would also not be surprised to find out it makes me feel better. I have been dry long enough to not have to worry on that account and need to get off the sugar. The job lead is still hot. |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 19,June,2004 | They, the ones who judge us as lacking, too often exist only in our own minds. |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 17,June,2004 | Fine she wants to take my happiness and kill it? Fine! Have at it it's what she does best! So what's a wife for anyway if not to ensure your misery and murder your hope. Hell I'm not even allowed the luxury of bitterness. |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 16,June,2004 | Hate 4364. I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, that they will be forced to deal with pain. James Baldwin 4365. Hatred is self-punishment. Hosea Ballou 4366. Hatred is the vice of narrow souls; they feed it with all their littlenesses, and make it the pretexts of base tyrannies. Honore' De Balzac 4367. Forcible ways make not an end of evil, but leave hatred and malice behind them. Sir Thomas Browne 4368. Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule. Buddha 4369. Never in this world can hatred be stilled by hatred; it will be stilled only by non-hatred - this is the law eternal. Gautama Buddha 4370. Hatred is the madness of the heart. Baron George Gordon Byron 4371. Hate burns up more energy than anything else, more than hard work, illness or justifiable worry. So when hatred is entering our hearts, let us just put it out, make room for pleasant thoughts instead, save our precious God-given energy for something worthy of it. Dale Carnegie 4372. When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them at all, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil. Dale Carnegie 4373. The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less. Eldridge Cleaver 4374. We hate some persons because we do not know them; and we will not know them because we hate them. Charles Caleb Colton 4375. There is no hate without fear. Hate is crystallized fear, fear's dividend, fear objectives. We hate what we fear and so where hate is, fear is lurking. Thus we hate what threatens our person, our liberty, our privacy, our income, popularity, vanity and our dreams and plans for ourselves. If we can isolate this element in what we hate we may learn to cease from hating. Cyril Connolly 4376. There is a community of hatred. Hatred floods your mind with the ideas of the one you hate. Your thought reflects his, and you act in his spirit. If you wish to be like your enemy, to be wholly his, open your mind and hate him. Charles Horton Cooley 4377. Hatred - The anger of the weak. Alphonse Daulet 4378. It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme works. All good things are difficult to achieve and all bad things are very easy to get. Morarji Desai 4379. We shall always discover reasons, which we shall proclaim inevitable and divinely ordained, for hating one another. Paul Eldridge 4380. There are glances of hatred that stab and raise no cry of murder. George Eliot 4381. Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat. Harry Emerson Fosdick 4382. He that fears your presence will hate your absence. Thomas Fuller 4383. Hate is a dead thing. Who of us would be a tomb? Kahlil Gibran 4384. Hatred is active, and envy passive dislike; there is but one step from envy to hate. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe 4385. Hate is that evil State of mind Which feeds the worst In human kind. Edgar A. Guest 4386. A man's hatred is always concentrated upon that which makes him conscious of his bad qualities. Carl Gustav Jung 4387. Hate is always tragic. It is as injurious to the hater as it is the hated. It distorts the personality and scars to the soul. As a race we must work passionately and unrelentingly for first-class citizenship, but we must never use second-class methods to gain it. Luther King 4388. We never get to love by hate, least of all by self-hatred. Basil W. Maturin 4389. The rage of the southern poor white against the Negro suspected of some dereliction is referable to the hate he feels inwardly at having been like the Negro, unwanted. The same is perhaps true in the situation of Germans and Jews and in many other situations which give the opportunity for the expression of hatred in the feeling of being rejected. Dr. Karl A. Menninger 4390. It would be a rather serious error if the child did not learn to hate certain things. The real fact seems to be that he does not learn to hate; he comes into the world equipped with it, for better or for worse, and then he learns to use it, wisely or unwisely according to his experiences. Dr. Karl A. Menninger 4391. If I wanted to punish an enemy it should be by fastening on him the trouble of constantly hating somebody. Hannah More 4392. Psychiatrists today see the irrational hostility that people everywhere vent upon one another as chiefly projected self-hate. Bonaro Overstreet 4393. Hate is always a clash between our spirit and someone else's body. Cesare Pavese 4394. Dislike what deserves it, but never hate, for that is of the nature of malice, which is applied to persons, not to things. William Penn 4395. If you hate your enemies, you will contract such a vicious habit of mind as by degrees will break out upon those who are your friends, or those who are indifferent to you. Plutarch 4396. When our hatred is violent, it sinks us even beneath those we hate. Francois de La Rochefoucauld 4397. The value of love will always be stronger than the value of hate. Any nation or group of nations which employs hatred eventually is torn to pieces by hatred. Franklin Delano Roosevelt 4398. Hatred of enemies is easier and more intense than love of friends. But from men who are more anxious to injure opponents than to benefit the world at large no great good is to be expected. Lord Bertrand Russell 4399. Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated. George Bernard Shaw 4400. The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity. George Bernard Shaw 4401. Malice can always find a mark to shoot at and a pretense to fire Charles Simmons 4402. Hate is able to provoke disorders, to ruin a social organization, to cast a country into a period of bloody revolutions; but it produces nothing. Georges Sorel 4403. It is human nature to hate him whom you have injured. Tacitus 4404. There are people who will hide their love from you, and people who hide their hate, and you will be wise to stay away from both. Author Unknown 4405. The neurotic usually obeys his own Golden Rule: Hate thy neighbor as thyself. Author Unknown 4406. Hate pollutes the mind. Author Unknown 4407. Hatred is cancer of the intellect. Author Unknown 4408. Doctors tell us that hating can cause cancer, heart attacks, headaches, skin rashes, and asthma. It doesn't make the people we hate feel too good either. Author Unknown 4409. Hate is the most inefficient use a person can make of his mind. Author Unknown 4410. Hatred is a luxury no one can afford. Author Unknown 4411. Hatred is a boomerang which is sure to hit you harder than the one at whom you throw it. Author Unknown 4412. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the high cost of hatred, and the waste of energy. Author Unknown 4413. It is far better to forgive and forget than to hate and remember. Author Unknown 4414. Hatred would starve to death if it did not have unjust suspicions served to it. Author Unknown 4415. Hatred is like an acid. It can do more damage to the vessel in which it is stored than it can to the object on which it is poured. Author Unknown 4416. If we miraculously became the people we hate, how lovable we would find ourselves. Author Unknown 4417. Hated does not ceease by hatered, but only by love: this is the eternal rule. Author Unknown 4418. I shall never permit myself to stoop so low as to hate any man. Booker T. Washington 4419. Whenever there is hatred between two people there is a bond or brotherhood of some kind. Oscar Wilde |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 15,June,2004 | People more and more need to hate. I do not want to hate any one so I am a perfect target for hate. You hate me because I have a receding hairline. You hate me because I am over-weight. God are they gearing up to hate the fat. You hate me because I am a 'nice' guy and that deserves your scorn. You hate me because I do not have wealth. You hate me because I tried to be happy. You hate me because I wont share your hate. I will always be hated and their is nothing I can do about it. |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 15,June,2004 | Let's face it, there is no happiness to life. To delude yourself into believing such a thing exists just sets you up as a target for all the people who can't understand why they are so miserable. No I will NEVER be happy..All I can do is minimize the pain. If I accept the fact that no one wants me to have joy will hopefully make them stop attacking me. There is nothing left to make life good so I must try to avoid some of the pain. Life sucks and then you die. I promise never to be happy now please just leave me alone. |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 11,June,2004 | A Second Adulthood? I like the sound of it! Hell I did okay with the first one before I crashed and burned. So now I can start over and take advantage of my experience. I find I would like to stay in the same field and in fact feel rejuvenated. I like working with computers. I also know that loyalty to a work place is an illusion so this time around I will look out for myself. I can even have fun doing it because I don't feel the need to advance at all costs. I can see now that I let others push me into things I didn't want to do. Why go into management if you don't care if the company lives or dies? Right? I will pursue my own interests and see where they take me. Let everyone else flail around in misery. I want to live laugh and love. Who cares who's president or if there's a war on I can't change it so I'm not going to worry about it. This country deserves a 911 attack every week. If they want it let them have it I can't change it so I'll keep my head down. Enjoy, I'll be making a pesto pizza! Hey now! This is liberating, I like it man. A second adulthood on my own terms. |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 10,June,2004 | I seem to have tweaked my back today. Crap!! I hate this! My back has been stable for years. What the hell is going on? Now it will have to be worked. I love the way liberals have been sitting on their hands re: Reagan. It has too be killing them to be civil, certainly not a normal state of affairs for this bunch. The 'experts' now say dogs can understand words. Gee tell us dog lovers something we didn't know. And we are supposed to believe that global warming exists? HAHAHA! Nice try, I think I will go out and murder a tree today :) |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 09,June,2004 | BOOGA BOOGA |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 07,June,2004 | Can life be used as a canuba wax substitute. Oy Vey! the muchkins reel in grief as the Gipper passes on. Take a round and joke about it, now that's a man's man. Indeed. #2 or 64 bit what to do as we sink in a morass of RAM drives of speed. |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 07,June,2004 | Farewell Ronnie you never let them get you down. |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 05,June,2004 | I love what that guy did in Granby, way cool. More people should do the same. Long live the revolution! I saw that 250,000 new jobs in May. Great the economy is finally getting going. Now if we can just keep the terrs. from causing another 911 we can all get back to work. I would love to finally get a better job. I have paid my dues doing this one. I will never, ever, ever, EVER give any company the slightest bit of loyalty for the rest of my life. From now on I look out for number one. Hey they showed their true colors when all the layoffs went down so they get what they gave. Fuck them! I will walk away from a project and screw over an entire team depending on me for another $1.00 an hour.No loyalty on more baby! |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 04,June,2004 | urlLink |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 04,June,2004 | Check it out: Middle East - AP Iraq PM: U.S. Departure Would Be Disaster 10 minutes ago By HAMZA HENDAWI, Associated Press Writer BAGHDAD, Iraq - Iraq (news - web sites)'s new prime minister made his first address to the nation Friday, saying security was his top priority, calling for an end to guerrilla attacks and telling Iraqis that the withdrawal of U.S.-led troops now would be a 'major disaster.' AP Photo AFP Slideshow: Iraq Cleric Gives Tacit Boost to New Iraqi Gov't (AP Video) Latest headlines: · Sadr militia, army signal truce, toll of US killed in action hits 600 AFP - 3 minutes ago · Iraq PM: U.S. Departure Would Be Disaster AP - 10 minutes ago · Pope Urges Bush to Hasten Iraq Self Rule AP - 14 minutes ago Special Coverage The televised speech by Iyad Allawi — a longtime exile with close ties to the CIA (news - web sites) and State Department but with little popular support in Iraq — was the first by an Iraqi head of government since Saddam Hussein (news - web sites) fell a year ago. For the past year, such addresses have come from L. Paul Bremer, the top official in the U.S. occupation authority — or from the president of the U.S.-picked Iraqi Governing Council, a position that rotated every month. Allawi, appointed last week to head the interim government taking power on June 30, told Iraqis: 'Your government sees that only the restoration of security and the safeguarding of citizens' dignity, honor and money will allow us to successfully proceed on the political track and achieve the transfer of full sovereignty.' He defended the continued presence of 138,000 U.S. troops and thousands of troops from other nations on Iraqi soil even after the handover of sovereignty. 'The targeting of the multinational forces under the leadership of the United States to force them to leave Iraq would inflict a major disaster on Iraq, especially before the completion of the building of security and military institutions,' Allawi said. 'And I would like to mention here that the coalition forces, too, have offered up the blood of their sons as a result of terror attacks,' he said. The speech was aired on Al-Iraqiyah, the nationwide TV station set up and funded by the United States, and was picked up by Arab satellite stations Al-Jazeera and Al-Arabiya. Throughout the speech, the camera focused tightly on Allawi's face, giving no indication of where he was speaking from. Allawi also said the new president, Ghazi al-Yawer, will attend the Group of Eight summit being hosted by President Bush (news - web sites) in Sea Island, Ga. next week. Allawi was named to head the 33-member government in part because he was seen as strong on security. The administration will rule Iraq until elections are held by Jan. 31 to create a national assembly, which will then choose a new government. The prime minister thanked the United States, Britain and other coalition nations for their role in ousting the former regime. But he added 'Iraqis can never accept occupation.' 'We are ready to end the occupation and receive sovereignty on June 30 and our government has begun effective participation in the ongoing discussions in the (U.N.) Security Council to adopt a new resolution regarding the transfer of full sovereignty to the interim Iraqi government,' he said. Allawi said his administration would work toward national unity after the divisions created by the fall of Saddam Hussein and the U.S. occupation. 'Former Baathists can live with dignity in society so long as they have not committed any crimes,' he added. The government will soon issue regulations on the entry of foreigners into the country. Iraqis have complained that U.S. forces were not diligent enough in curbing the entry of foreign terrorists and criminals following the collapse of Saddam's regime in April 2003. Allawi, a Shiite Muslim, also expressed appreciation to the country's most influential Shiite cleric, Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Husseini al-Sistani, and others in the 'revered religious leadership in supporting the political process...' Al-Sistani gave a tacit endorsement of the new government if it succeeds in regaining full sovereignty, preparing for new elections, and improving security and conditions for Iraq's 25 million people. On the economy, Allawi cited inflation, unemployment and a weak purchasing power as the main economic problem facing Iraq. He said the government planned to stabilize the exchange rate for the dinar, improve living conditions and boost oil output. He offered no details. (Corrects date of handover to June 30 instead of June 20.) Story Tools Email Story Post/Read Msgs (24662) Print Story Ratings: Would you recommend this story? Not at all 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 Highly Tools Sponsored by: HP Print better photos. Special Feature Missed Tech Tuesday? We look into our liquid crystal ball and see what's next for TV. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Next Story: Sadr militia, army signal truce, toll of US killed in action hits 600 (AFP) More World - Middle East Stories · Pope tells Bush situation in Iraq must be 'normalized' (AFP) · Treatment of Iraqi prisoners a 'stain' on Iraq's freedom: UN (AFP) · Israel's Sharon sacks two ministers before Gaza pullout vote (AFP) · New Iraq PM sets out main policies in keynote address to nation (AFP) · US Army, Sadr militia start truce in Iraqi Shiite holy cities (AFP) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 03,June,2004 | We must see this through! We either pacify the mid-east now or we do it later at a much higher cost. Don't cry for terrorists remember 911 they started this fight and we must end it if we have to kill 100 million of them. Remember: They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. -Ben Franklin |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 03,June,2004 | When oh when will they reach the IT field, ay? I have been preparing, getting my long over due A+ and Network+ certifications. I am now working on my MCP(WindowsXP). Will they help as the economy improves? I hope so, and, so after the MCP what next? Either go for the MCSA or the CCNA. One must improve one's martketability, shouldn't one? My current job supporting the poor abused customers of CompUSA is not taxing and helps pay the bills. It also allows me to study for the certs.. Bush will win this fall much to the dismay of the haters out there :) |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 03,June,2004 | I'm feeling much better today...Thank you my Higher Power. Cruising toward 4 mos. sober and I fall into depression. On the bright side I did not want to drink. I just feel bad for the people that have to deal with me. But! When I'm good I'm real good! I realize that the day at a time approach is the only way to go. I's all we really have control over in any meaningful way. Take care of business today and tomorrow will take care of it's self. |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 02,June,2004 | They Suck! What right does the gov. have 2 tell me to wear a belt in MY truck! We fought a revolution because of no taxation without representation. We may have to do it again. First kill all the lawyers and then the cops! |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 02,June,2004 | This should be a trip! Ineed to share my thoughts as I have reached a point in my life that requires serious eval. Stay tuned. |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 12,July,2004 | and so forth. Never believe everything you read in a magazine. |
3,527,397 | male | 46 | Technology | Taurus | 09,July,2004 | BLOGG!!! |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 28,May,2004 | I reckon as you get older time goes faster. I remember being in primary school and if there where 4 weeks to the holidays it would seem like an eternity. now 4 weeks goes like lightning, thats only two pay cheques! gotta go get the train. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 27,May,2004 | Lunch. Thats a pretty funny word if you say it heaps. I'm playing indoor netball tonight, Our team is called 'The Michael Bolton Experience', last season it was 'The Kenny G Perm Explosion'. We go for the bad muso names. Next season it's going to be something to do with Craig McGlachlan. I'm having a pretty bad day today because Like the title of my last entry, Council People are wankers. They're retards that don't know how to do there jobs. They make my job really hard. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 27,May,2004 | Work is done for the day. I'm now waiting for the train, sort of, I'm at the office for about another 10 minutes. I'm not really sure about this whole blog thing. I don't know who would ever read mine, or how they would find it. Its not like its funny.......Yet. Wait for it. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 27,May,2004 | As the title suggests I'm waiting for some guy to call in regards to driveway conflict as stated in RTA Guideline 6.2.2. Riveting stuff. Plans to go to the Haze later, I'd live there if I could. I love those guys! |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 27,May,2004 | I'm at work so I don't have time to be doing this. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 30,June,2004 | This is cool, now I listen to music everywhere I go. Speaking of go, I'm going to the train station. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 12,June,2004 | urlLink www.homestarrunner.com I've gotta say, this is the coolest website...... Possibly in all of time. Strongbad's email replies are like nothing else, and by that i mean there is possibly nothing funnier. Ever. What are you gonna do about it! Go there and laugh you hands off! |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 12,June,2004 | My computer had the sasser virus and I just got it fixed today, it cost me $35. That's shit! But on the up side my home computer now works so I don't have to do this at work as much, which I'm sure will please the boss. Not that I would be wasting company time cause I did it in my breaks anyway. It's a long weekend which is heaps good. I don't have plans yet, I'm just going with the flow. Hopefuly that flow takes me somewhere fun! |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 07,June,2004 | What can I say, I've had a really bad day. Not bad for me personally, just bad, like I've been retarded and haven't got much done. I'm going home to pitch the idea of a blog to Zoe at the Haze and see what she thinks. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 04,June,2004 | This weekend two of my friends got drunker than I had ever seen them before. That was pretty funny. On Friday night Kathryn wrote herself off completely at Robey and spewed a few times. She is THE loudest drunk in the world. On Saturday Abbie, playing a drinking game called Trunket, got so drunk it wasn't funny, and it wasn't funny, just annoying. So, I think I'm gonna start one of these things for our excursions into a smokey haze at The Haze. It is bound to be funny, how can it not be?! 'He died by sneaking around.........Forget I said that'. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 04,June,2004 | Sanity, the CD shop seems to have gotten rid of the alternative music section. I assume they've intergrated it into the rest of the music. It was bad enough before cause Nickleback and Linkon Park and shit like that was classed as alternate, but now I'm gonna have to search though all that poppy bullshit to find the stuff I want. Its Friday, the start of the weekend. I just got a credit card so tomorrow I'm going shopping to buy a heater and a pair of ug boots. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 03,June,2004 | You heard me. How bad is mainstream music? And commercial radio for that matter. I just had to work down in the other office for an hour or so and they listen to a dumb mainstream channel. We on the other hand listen to Triple J. The only channel worth listening to. Except the one I happen to do a show on.............But then that one's only good when I'm on. Yes, I have my own radio show. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 03,June,2004 | That's three seasons in one day, one more and I might as well be in Melbourne |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 03,June,2004 | So, Now it's sunny and warm which is excellent, good balcony weather. We have this balcony at work which looks out over the street. We get to see some pretty funny things when we are out there having breaks. In particular, people trying to parallel park below us. There is this pole right next to the Kurb and heaps of people back into it trying to park. Some people are so bad at parallel parking it takes them maybe 6 goes and they still end up about a metre from the kerb. SO funny to watch! I should be working.............I'm bludging. I bet bosses all over the world hate the internet for the amount of time employees waste doing crap like this. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 03,June,2004 | I thought this thing would only last me a couple of days and I was kind right. There's not that much for me to write about. I couldn't be fucked writing everything I do in here that'd get boring real fast. I'm still figuring out exactly what this whole thing is going to be about. It's raining today, I like rain. Also it's not cold which is heaps good, I hate the cold SO bad. It's possible that I might be getting my hours cut back at work because we are entering a slow period. That'd be shit, I need the money. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 31,July,2004 | Yeah, I went to Splendour In The Grass last weekend, I had such an awsome time. The bands weren't as good a last year but the company this time was perfect. I only missed a couple of the bands I wanted to see. Here's what I saw: Xavier Rudd Franz Ferdinand Spiderbait Electric six 1200 Techniques Ozomatli Ash Hilltop Hoods Jurassic 5 Franz Ferdinand went off so much it wasn't funny, I've never seen anything like it before. The only band I was disappointed by were Electric six. They seemed like a bunch of posers, which sux cause they were one of the bands I was most keen to see. We stayed in cabins at a caravan park, we didn't end up camping which is good. On the Sunday night we all sat up talking till we got told to shut up by the manager of the park, turns out we were sitting outside his house or something. That conversation had some weird drug induced topics like ewoks and I don't remember what. I went out last night and had a pretty crazy night, I met this chick who was at Splendour called Zoe. I can't be bothered going into details about this but what followed was weird, it involved my friend Zoe and this other Zoe getting an email from some guy who met a Zoe from the uni out one night and then sent an email to every Zoe at the uni to track her down. The Zoe I met last night was THE Zoe from the email. My crappy story telling abilities don't do this story justice. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 20,July,2004 | Ok, I'm at a radio station doing a radio show. It's called Funk and Acid. I'm on my own tonight so I thought I'd update this thing. The guy that does the show before mine is such a mainstream wanker jock. He always runs into my show and tonight he was playing this shit metal and it was running into my show so I faded it down and started my show. He was all 'What about the listeners man?' What about mine Wicksy, ya fuckin' wank. your show ends at 11 not 5 past. Go on cry in the car on the way home cause you suck at radio and sound like a tool when you open your mouth. I hate that Mother Fucker! On a brighter note I'm going to Splendour in the Grass this weekend Franz Ferdinand, Jurassic 5, Electric 6.... I'm so keen. I'm leaving on Thursday night with a bunch of friends and coming back Monday. It is going to be the best road trip ever! We are camping so chances are it's going to rain, but I reckon that'll just add to the experience. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 10,July,2004 | I've just spent the last hour watching cartoons at urlLink www.homestarrunner.com . I can't get enough of those crazy cartoons. How can anyone be that funny? Surely it's against the law.?! I woke up this morning and thought it was a week day and I had to go to work. Then I realised it was Saturday, I love that feeling. I slept in till 11. Yeah I've also been looking for some other blog that would be cool to read but I haven't found one yet that interests me enough. To many depressed people make these things and talk about how crap life is. C'mon, life is good, even if it is boring sometimes. I'm gonna go hang with friends. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 08,July,2004 | Today I haven't had much to do at work, it's abit quiet at the moment. I've spent the morning researching Professional Indemnity Insurance. Woo Fucking Hoo. After weeks of having nothing in particular to do on the weekend I have been invited to two parties on Saturday. Conundrum. One is a suit party (wear a suit), the other is an 80's party (wear the shitest thing you can find). I think I'm gonna go to both, I'm not at all keen on the 80's so I'm just gonna wear a suit. A cool suit, 70's, flares. I wonder when people are going to start having 90's parties? Parachute tracksuits! YEAH!..................... YEAH! ....Wait a sec...... NO Lunch break just ended. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 05,July,2004 | It's the start of July and yesterday it was 23°. This is the middle of winter I bet it's probly about this hot in England right now and it's summer there. So, anyway, me and my flatmates took advantage of theexcellentt weekend weather and went and flew a kite and kicked a soccer ball around in the park. Who my age flies a kite these days? Me and my flatmates I guess. Maybe we could start a trend, like how young people love lawn bowls now. Some chick in Sydney got suspended from school for some 'provocative' photos she had of herself in her Blog. I tried to have a look at her thing but it seems to be gone. These blogs have got a few people in trouble I think. Splendour In The Grass is in 3 weeks. YES! |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 01,July,2004 | Kenny G is back and in championship winning form. The Return Of The Kenny G Perm Explosion is the name of my indoor netball team. Last weekend we won the Championship and we are back for another waz at it this season. I rate our chances. Like I said before, I got an iPOD. It is so fucking cool. Now I listen to music everywhere I go. It's a 15Gb one and I've only filled about 3.5Gb so far. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 09,August,2004 | Tomorrow two friends of mine are going to New Zealand, then America (BOO), Then England / Europe. They'll be gone for two years or something. On Friday night someone threw something at my car while I was driving and smashed my windscreen. Now I have to get a new windscreen and that is so crap. Why would you do that to someone. It's such a dumb thought. Last night my flatmates and I talked about what would happen if the train going past across the park exploded or turned into a giant dragon train, with wings and talons. And it lifted off the track up into the air then turned and swooped over us. Then, if you try to shoot it down carriages fall off and turn into mini dragon trains. Then we had Apple Pie and Apple and Berry Pie and Custard and Whipped Cream and watched the end of Ocean's 11. Today I went on a site visit for work and at this house they had this clock with a heaps 80's picture of John Farnham on it. It's the funniest thing, I bet they're so proud of it. He has the biggest mullet in the world. MAN. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 04,August,2004 | I am so hungry I could eat something, like the sugar packet I found in my hot chocolate today at Grind. No wait, not that hungry, and why was that even in there. 'woops, I dropped a packet of sugar in this dude's drink,........Oh well.' But I am really hungry. I want cake or a muffin. Chocolate or blueberry (muffin). No, Caret cake. And a Milo or a steak, I'd like a steak, and pasta, carbonara or something. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 03,August,2004 | The Watts Breakaway by The Johnny Otis Show is a really good song. Get it and listen to it. I was only going to do the show till midnight but I'm enjoying myself too much to stop now. 24-Carat-Black by The 24-Carat-Black is playin' now, such a sweet break. I had a sick day today and even though I actually am sick I had a good time. I went op shopping, hung out with friends and got a hair cut then went out for tea. My fringe is now abit short but it'll grow.......right?! Bring on the juice, Bring on the juice, Bring on the juice, Bring on the juice, Bring on the juice, Make me sweat. James Brown - Funky Drummer I don't know how Clyde Stubblefield does that for the nine minutes or whatever of this track. It sounds so effortless. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 03,August,2004 | I'm at radio and I'm diggin' the music. I love this music.....Love it. ps I'm not going to work tomorrow, I'm too sick, or maybe even two sick, or 2 sic....... Nah, not the last one. |
3,456,608 | male | 24 | indUnk | Libra | 01,August,2004 | Two of my friends had farewells last night, I went for a while but piked around 1:30. I got to tired cause I had a big night on Friday. Also I have a sore throat, I think I'm getting sick. I think I might track down some friends and do something, this is boring. |
3,303,677 | male | 23 | Technology | Libra | 27,May,2004 | I love it myself, but I hate it when I have to drop everything I am doing just to go move a computer so that floors can be waxed. Oh well, it is part of what I do. I really wish I wouldn't get fired for using the classic line of 'A lack of proper planning on your part, doesn't constitute an emergency on mine'. I hate policies that regard grooming. I really think that having picked the new boss with the military background might have been a bad idea. Now policies are getting put in place that govern how hairy my face is allowed to be, and we might not get to wear shorts this summer. I really hope the one with the shorts gets put in place, that way I can take whoever came up with the idea and have them walk around with me in 100+ degree heat, wearing pants and a thick ass shirt and see if they change their mind. Ah the joys of work. I also think I fixed my ankle. Special thanks to the power cord for that one. Anyway all in all not to bad of a day. I am sure my evening will be better. I get to spend it with someone I really care about. Anyway it is time to put up the golf carts and almost time for me to go home from work. |
3,303,677 | male | 23 | Technology | Libra | 26,May,2004 | I can't come up with a title for this, there aren't words to describe how I feel right now. Verbal communication doesn't have the ability to express the totality of my joy. I can't even put anything into words right now. Part of it could be lack of sleep, but I am certain most of it isn't. I can't wait to see her again. good thing it will only be about an hour and a half. |
3,303,677 | male | 23 | Technology | Libra | 25,May,2004 | Yes that is right I finally got a new cell phone. It is not active yet, but it should be soon. The really good news is that my number didn't change, Yippie!!! I also for the first time in my life (other than the one time before that didn't count) ate sushi. It wasn't bad, I would have to aquire a taste for it. I will probably try it again the next time I have a chance. |
3,303,677 | male | 23 | Technology | Libra | 21,May,2004 | We got our new laptops for work yesterday, and they are pretty nice. They aren't the best in the world, but they are much better than what we had. I just wish the resolution would go higher than 1024x768. I will find a way to fix that problem. |
3,303,677 | male | 23 | Technology | Libra | 19,May,2004 | I really hate to use baseball terms but they kind of work in my mind at the moment. Anyway things are looking up. I really hope they keep going the way they are. |
3,303,677 | male | 23 | Technology | Libra | 19,May,2004 | A swing and a miss, you know what I am talking about. That extremely poorly executed play last night. Oh well, get over it because here comes the second pitch. |
3,303,677 | male | 23 | Technology | Libra | 18,May,2004 | urlLink AMD's Opteron 150 and 250 processors - The Tech Report - Page 1 When can I have one? I can't wait to get my new computer built. Arg Sleep is good and I didn't get enough last night, oh well it isn't all bad. The reason I didn't get much sleep is worth it. |
3,303,677 | male | 23 | Technology | Libra | 18,May,2004 | urlLink Slashdot | Economics of Online Gaming This just goes to prove the line from PCU is true. 'that's the glory of college, you can major in gameboy if you know how to bullshit' I thought this was excellent. |
3,303,677 | male | 23 | Technology | Libra | 17,May,2004 | Weekends are a beautiful thing. I had an excellent weekend. I got horribly trashed on Friday with my closest friends. I spent all day Saturday with a special someone. I then went to New Orleans with my closest friends and got smashed (not horribly this time). It was one of the best weekends I have had in a long time and I can only see more on the horizon like this. Wow I am in a great mood today. It could be better but I am a chicken shit. Chuck knows what I mean. Well After a great weekend I have a rainy Monday. It is not a bad Monday, but it is rainy. I wish my job didn't make me go outside. Well I have to go get wet again. |
3,303,677 | male | 23 | Technology | Libra | 14,May,2004 | I have now been working on this same computer for about an hour and a half. Due to my lack of sleep last night, I have dozed off at least 6 times. I hate slow computers, and I hate Microsoft even more. I found a URL written on a post it on this monitor. It is . urlLink I think it is kind of funny. Mmm, time for sleep. |
3,303,677 | male | 23 | Technology | Libra | 12,May,2004 | I suppose that I should introduce myself in the off chance that someone might be reading this. My name is Stimpy (at least that is what my friends call me). My real name is unimportant. I am 23 years old and work for a higher-education institution doing computer technician type stuff. I am currently working on a Bachelors degree in Software Engineering. I live in the wonderfully backward state of Mississippi. I live with a cat in a small 2 bedroom apartment. My interests are computers, technology, science, alcohol, the ocean, and anything else that happens to float my boat at the time. This blog is about my thoughts (Warning they can be random and strange) and feelings about my daily life. When I have time I will put in entries that some people might find interesting or amusing. I personally would find comfort if someone found them oddly similar to their own thoughts. Anyway I have to return to work now. Enjoy reading. |
3,303,677 | male | 23 | Technology | Libra | 11,May,2004 | Ah Wednesday that wonderful day of the week which is closely related to limbo in my mind. All that needs to happen is for time to reverse and we all have to re-live Tuesday and Monday all over again. I take comfort that the universal laws of physics are harder to break than that. One of these days I will get up the nerve to do what I have been wanting to do. It is a good thing I am not trying to alter the course of time otherwise I might never get up the nerve. |
3,303,677 | male | 23 | Technology | Libra | 11,May,2004 | I had heard rumor that Google might be giving out beta accounts to people based on who was signed up for blogger, so I decided to sign up and see if that was true. Since I am here I think I will share my brain with you. Unfortunatly, I have to get to work for now, but I will be back later. |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | well today we all went to the Opry Mills mall in Nashville. it was a very nice mall. pretty big. lots of stores. i didnt get to go to all the ones i wanted to but thats ok...there were 6 other people with me so we couldnt really go everywhere we wanted. i got a frozen cafe mocha from ghiradelli's chocolate shop! OH MAN IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD! OH DANG! i did stop at Sketcher's and picked up 2 pairs of shoes. just cuz i was bored. hahahaha! my legs hurt real bad cuz of all the walkin. well actually its more cuz of the standing. the walkin made it feel better. anyways. feelings again have not changed much. it's gettin easier to hide them. but not much has changed. i dunno...they arent bad feelings. just natural i guess...to miss someone. i cant say im depressed about it. cuz im really not. ya just miss it....yanno? yeah. Alias is on in a bit. mom and i will be watchin it as we usually do. i love my mom. i should tell her i do more often. i really do though. she's one of the few people who understand me. well at least a little. anyways. kris is gettin a bit emotional now. must go. au revoir. |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | well today isnt much different from yesterday. still feel basically the same. dunno if that's a bad thing or a good thing. yeah. GUESS WHAT IM WATCHIN! thats right! NEMO! hahahahaha! have i ever mentioned that i love this movie! we did it! we did it! oh yeah yeah yeah! no..eating here tonight! woo! no no no...eating here tonight! you're on a diet! OH I LOVE THAT PART! and E-S-C-A-P-E! and SUIVEZ-MOI! ok Nemo moment over. i think i shall go now. dunno what to talk about. i might be gone all day tomorrow so i wont be writing...unless its like real late at night. so yeah. bon soir. |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | i dunno what to talk about today. we went out for some of it. not a good idea. EVERYONE IN HUNTSVILLE WAS OUT! it was absolutely crazy. i must say i've been feeling a lot better than i did a week ago. i still miss Mal though. i try not to think about it. i dunno what it is. she is one of the sweetest people on this planet...when she wants to be. oh man...there are no words to describe how much i miss her. i cant help it. i mean im not depressed about it anymore. but i guess you cant help but miss someone you love. course i still miss Kari. but gosh i miss Mal hugging me. or just tellin me she loved me. and i miss her lookin at me the way she used to. there is nothin that can replace that. unfortunately. its a strange feeling im having. like i feel so calm and relaxed cuz i know that God is there. i know he's watchin me. but at the same time i miss people. i miss someone who loves me. i dunno. i guess i like to be able to feel a person...or hear their voice. i dunno..guess im weird like that. i didnt watch Nemo today. rather sad. didnt have time. but thats ok. 6 days in a row...i can skip a day or 2 here and there. hahaha! im feeling rather lonely right now. Marbles has abandoned me for my brother. gosh! after all the attention i give her this is what i get?! my brother hardly even notices her! its not fair! aww well! she's just a player cat! well gonna go to bed. goodnight. |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | the girl found out last night. that both us guys liked her. yeah it was very confusing. basically we both found out that she didnt like either of us. so yeah. im not hurt i dont think. i have to say i really didnt expect for her to ever consider me. but i had hoped she would have at least given the other guy a chance. he's a really good guy and he's been kinda lonely. i dunno. i guess i felt bad for likin the same girl he did. cuz i've had 2 great gf's...yeah they both hurt me but they were still wonderful...and he..he never reallly did. well once that i know of. i dunno. i guess i felt he deserved someone like her more than i did. its ok with me. im not really hurt. im just kinda sorry for her. she's not exactly havin the easiest time. i know exactly how she feels. i know how hard it is for her right now. ok i probably jsut confused everyone there. ha! dont worry about it. yeah. well life goes on. so...yeah. dunno what to do now. im bored out of my mind. blah! i think i shall go and try to find somethin to do. instead of sitting in front of this computer screen. adios. |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | well its thanksgiving. we just got done eating. Beke and Claire are here from England. we're havin a great time. im gonna watch Nemo later tonight i think. of course! hahaha! i like this girl. someone else likes her too. we both know that we both like her. its confusing. i actually think its funny. its not awkward or anything. which is awesome. cuz i hate it when people are all awkward around eachother. i dunno though. i personally doubt she'd like either of us. but ya never know. im actually more skeptical about me. i dont think she'd ever like me. im more of a friend to her. and thats probably all ill ever be. i seem to stuck with that alot. there have been plenty of girls that i've liked but that wouldnt go out with me...or even consider me cuz i was just a friend. i guess it can be frustrating. but then again...i can always be there for them as a friend. ha! there's this one girl who i've really liked for a long time. she'd never give me a chance. i even asked her out twice. well sorta...the second time was kinda indirectly. but still! she's like someone i'd wish would give me a chance but she just wont. she likes other guys and im just a friend. which doesnt really bother me that much. i mean i guess its sorta better bein her friend. i've always been there for her just like she's always been there for me. so i guess it worked out the way God wanted it to. anyways. slightly complicated. but yeah i like this new girl. she's very nice. of course so does he. i feel guilty. like i do like her but i feel maybe he deserves her more. i dunno. im trying to decide if im even going to attempt anything. i dunno. AHHHHHHH! SO CONFUSING! ok well im going to go have dessert! oh yeah! adios amigos! |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | hey grumpy gills! when life gets you down yanno what you gotta do? just keep swimming...just keep swimming...just keep swimming swimming...thats what we do we swim swim! HAHAHAHAHA! i love Nemo! im watchin it for the 2nd time today. i guess im what you call obsessed. hahahaha! omgosh this movie is the bestest! it never gets old! i could just watch it all day long and be happy. hehehehe! HE TOUCHED THE BUTT! hahahahaha! i love stayin up late and watchin a good movie. so much fun. lol. anyways. im going to watch my movie now! ttyl! bon soir... |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | i dunno what to write about? i honestly dont. i feel better. i feel comforted. but im still sad. i guess i dont really have to feel better yet. im still hurt but at least i can find comfort in God. it will be ok. i still need time to hide my feelings...but i will be ok. God will make it ok. thats where my comfort will always come from. i've learned that the hard way. twice. ha! i took me 2 times to get it. but i did. after all of that i realized that God is the only thing that will ever truely remain constant. the ony one who will never turn their back on me. and when the rest of the world does he will always be there with his hand streched out to help me. that is one of the greatest feelings ever. i still have to get used to it though. its so hard not to depend on a person. i still miss her. even though i do feel better. i guess thats ok. i mean i do love her and i dont really want it to be this way...but i know its what God intends. so why try and stop it. i will survive. i will be ok. life will go on. and God will guid me and give me the strength to keep breathing...no matter how cruel the world becomes... |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | well its rather late. 11:03 to be exact. i dont wanna go to bed. i cant sleep. lots of emotions today. happy but still sad. lots of people made me laugh today. and i played the piano. my piano teacher is so cool. she's so hilarious. omgosh she just makes you laugh so hard. i have so much fun practicing there! yes and 'she' is so funny! ahhhhh! i was laughin so hard! 'she' is sucha goober! hahahaha! still sad. still depressed. L was really gettin on my case today. ha! i love her...she is just so honest. and she'll just get up in your face and tell you the truth. which quite frankly i do need to hear sometimes. i dunno. she just kinda said that i really had an issue with letting people go and that i really needed to fix it. i dunno it kinda made me mad. she's right i need to try and let go. but its so hard for me. cuz its never like i lose the feeling. its never like im the one who's leaving. its always them. and im always the one left with feelings. i wish i knew what it was like to lose the feeling. L said it was much easier to let go when you're on that side of the break up. anyways. ok im in alot of pain. my chest...is killing me. i dont even know how to describe it. im havin a very difficult a conversation. im going to leave now. goodnight. |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | ASHLEY ANNE IS THE BOMB! OH DANG! she understands exactly the kind of loneliness im feeling! ASH YOU ARE AWESOME! I LOVE YOU ASH! |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | i know you believe that i am not alone. and maybe im not. but i still have not met anyone like me. never. i know one person who can understand the pain that i feel everyday. and even she doesnt understand it completely. can you imagine a massive boulder crushing your chest all day? not bein able to breath? not having any relief from it? it never goes away. and now imagine living your whole life that way. every waking moment in pain. every laugh...every smile...every expression hiding that pain. that's what everyday is like. dont try to tell me you understand. you dont. and no im not trying to be harsh. im telling truth. you cant understand the feeling. just one day being able to be happy. do you remember the first time you felt happiness? i do. the first time i smiled without that pain. there are no words to describe that feeling. nor the emotions. tears from being so happy. tears from being free. it was like i'd been missing out on life for so long. and finally i could feel what people feel all the time without even noticing it. and do you know how i discovered this feeling? how i could be free from all that pain? she cared. she listened. she talked to me. and maybe for a short time she loved me. and then i lost that all. in an instant i lost the shield that hid me from the pain. and in an instant all of it was back. and this time it was so much worse. i was like a knife had been stabbed through my chest. and when i talk about this pain i dont mean it figuratively. thats really what it felt like. but after her it just all fell apart. all that control i had over this pain. it was all gone and that pain attacked so hard. no mercy at all. and i fell. i sunk so low. and i know you know how low i got. and thats when someone else showed up. and she too cared. and believe it or not she lifted me. she showed me that it would be ok. and then even she left. thats when i realized...only about a few days ago that i cannot rely on people to help me. as much as i love people they cannot give to me what i can give to them. people will reject me. people will hurt me and i cannot control that. even the people that i love will hurt me...which i've learned the hard way. i rely on God to ease the pain. so far he hasnt which must mean that i am meant to bear this. im not mad because i have to. only upset. only because it hurts so bad. and it wears away at me. its like having to drag around somethin. somethin heavy. but if i must then will bear it. as i said once...i know that bearing this pain and not giving up takes pain away from people i love. all those people who would have to bear a pain of sadness if i were to give up in life. i guess that helps me go through each day. knowing that by living i am protecting the people i love from a pain. even if the people i love cause some of my pain. i dunno...i guess thats just that side of me that thinks that i owe God somethin. like i feel so guilty that i almost took my life and wasted Jesus's gift. anyways...this getting waay to personal. i need to go. to Drew: i tried talkin to the only person that could really help me. she showed me no sympathy or pity and gave me no comfort. i know you mean well but there are very few people who have ever been able to make me feel better. thank you though for caring enough about me. i will be ok. i will live... |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | thank you to those who do care. you dont know how much that means to me. thank you so much. |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | who cares? bout any of this...who gives a crap bout me or the way i feel? i've decided to clam up. i cant solve this problem. no one seems to care enough to help. its ok though. im not mad at anyone. im just going to pretend like everything is ok. and maybe someday God will make it all ok. maybe by saying this some people will know the truth. that i am not happy. and that what you see is an elaborate act. and that i still am crying. quietly behind my wall. God give me the strength to breathe...through all of my tears... |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | i dont understand why? i dont get it! why do i have to lose her?! why do i have to suffer?! why must i bear more pain?! when will it stop? why must all this happen? why? |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | today hasnt been to great either. erik got yelled at and mom and dad got upset and were yellin at him and it was not fun at all. it stresses me out when they yell. i hate it so much. i was crying. they didnt see me i dont think but i was. i just wanted them to stop. it was like too much goin on. all this stuff in my life and then all that on top of it just made me burst. i dunno. im not ashamed that i cry but i wish i didnt have to. i wish that i wouldnt. im so tired of everything. im tired of bein hurt and tired of crying and tired of...EVERYTHING! i want comfort so bad. i want to talk to someone who wont be afraid to listen. where is L when you need her?! ha! i should talk to her. i havent in a long time. she usually helps. im so messed up with talkin to people. like the people that i always get the most comfortable talkin to are like my gf's and i tell them everything. and then they break up with me and its not comfortable to talk to them anymore. and then i have no one to talk to. except L...i've always been able to talk to her. she's never done anything mean to me...she's never hurt my feelings...she's never hurt me at all. ok well i g2g! church time! bye! |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | well its like 10 or so. im watchin Finding Nemo. i love this movie. they're stuck inside the whale right now. gosh this movie makes me feel so good. its so silly. a kids movie! i love it! its bittersweet though. it reminds me of Mal. good memories. but it hurts that there will be no more memories made with her. i miss it. sigh. anyways. dunno bout this other girl. dunno if i wanna have feelings for her. my feelings are still so strong for Mal...and even some for Kari. i dunno. just blah. my feelings are all so screwed at the moment. i need more time to sort them all out. and figure out how to handle all of them. ok. dont feel like writin much anymore. i spent all day workin on my chemistry project and im very moody right now. so yeah... |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | ok well here i am. its like 10:26. i just got back from Cow's party. i had a good time. just bein able to laugh was great. i have to say there were times when i was really just quiet. i kept on remembering Mal. specially when we watched part of Nemo. only part cuz SOME people wouldnt stop bein loud! but yeah. i was a bit sad at the time but i still had a good time. and then...ok yeah wait not gonna say that. it would be too obvious. anyways! im tired. exhausted. im still not sure bout this girl. i dunno if i really like her. guess im just interested. dont really think she is though. kinda disappointing. i mean maybe she'd give me a chance. time will tell. not quite yet though. im not ready for anything right now. the wound is still fresh. it will never close but at least maybe ill get used to the pain that ill be able to be back to normal again. or at least as close to normal as i can get. well im goin to bed. night... |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | blah! today wasnt cool. im still hurting from Mal. very badly. its almost like i dont believe it happened. like it was so good and so real and then in like a couple of days it just fell apart. and its so unbelieveable that it could be lost like that. and she really wasnt upset about it or anything. like i meant nothin. it was just like 'sorry its over'. i almost feel like i was used. except i dont want to believe that she would do that to me. so yeah. i miss her very badly. i really miss how nice and sweet she used to be to me. and i miss talkin to her. i have to admit though. there is someone else who's caught my eye. she's really funny. oh my goodness she makes me laugh! which is like great right now! im not startin anything though. its too soon. i dont want to do anything stupid. the only problem is that i dont think she'd ever think of me like that. its like i've known her along time and i think im just a friend to her. its very frustrating. i dont think she'd ever give me a chance. ha! someone told me that other day that i was a really sweet guy! and that i was one of those hard to find kinda guys! lol! that made me feel better for awhile when i heard that. then i just thought really? it doesnt seem that anyone else thinks so. or maybe no one else really cares. it wasnt enough for Kari or Mal. i mean gave them both all of my heart. i doesnt seem to help. i doesnt seem to be enough. what more can i give? oh im goin to Cow's party tonight! so i wont be writing tonight. anyways... |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | today wasnt any better than this whole week has been. i looked at her today and i could just feel all that pain just rush over me. all the regrets and the good memories. she is so beautiful. and she is such a great person. i just looked at her today and i was just so upset at what i lost. it was like she was so perfect. i just felt like i didnt deserve her. i actually i was felt like that. i felt like i wasnt good enough for someone like her. i know i wasnt good enough for her. i mean come on...someone like me...a weak pathetic little boy who cant even control his own pain...me with this wonderful beautiful girl. i dunno. it felt so special when it all started. it made me feel so good that she wanted to be with me. somebody as good as her wanted me. it made me feel like so special. so blessed. i love people just noticing me. like the other night when i came to church. L just comes out and says 'hey kristopher' right when she saw me. she probably doesnt know how good that made me feel. just the fact that she was happy to see me. or when ashley made a little hand stiched thingy! that made me feel good that she did that for me. yanno i like it when somebody notices me without me havin to try to be noticed. like when someone just says hi and just starts talkin to me cuz THEY wanted to. they thought about me and thought i was important enough to talk to. makes me feel wanted. its a great feeling. |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | bon soir... |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | i give up. i have no hope left. that feeling is gone. Mal's feelings for me are lost. i realized today that it was gone. that sweet girl that i fell in love with. she wasnt there anymore. that tenderness was no where to be found. the understanding was gone. the assurance and the comfort from her was gone. and that look she would give me was gone. her love for me was lost. and now i have deal with the pain and the hopelessness. the cruel reality. i have to live with a love that will not be returned. a love without hope... |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | it's been a rather sad day...man it hasnt been good at all. this must be the...oh i dont even remember how many nights i've ended up just crying. i just start and i cant stop. i was tryin so hard to have a good day and be happy. i really didnt wanan be sad for my concert. i think i did a good job...it sounded good and for a little short while i could feel some happiness left in me. just a bit. but it jsut all fell apart and i just broke down again...luckily it was after i'd left the concert. oh man...YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN I AM IN!!! i didtnt know i could hurt this much after kari...thought it could never get any worse. i miss her more than anything. i miss how sweet should would be. i miss hearing her voice. i miss her attention. i miss her love. i cant stop crying. i dont know how to stop. i dont know how to feel good bout this. i need a hug. i need someone to tell me that ill be ok at night. im speechless now. i dont know what else to say. goodnight. |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | i dont like discussion questions in chemistry. they are so stupid. im feeling very sad today. i miss Mal terribly. yanno what the really sad thing is though? i dont think she really misses me. as Ashley put it 'she did what she had to do'. i dont understand why she HAD to do this. she told me that it wasnt my fault. but im the one who has to feel hurt. funny isnt it? the innocent ones suffer for the decisions of others. but like i said i dont think she misses it. she seemed just as happy and fine today as she usually is. she didnt say a word to me. i felt terrible...i felt totally ignored. i just want it to be like it was. it was just starting to get good. i was really happy. and then just out of the blue she loses the feeling. i dont understand how it was lost. maybe thas a good thing..i dunno. i still love them. yeah both of them. i hid my love for kari. that was the only way i could get over it. well actually it was more just moving on. but i still love her. she was a great person. and now i have to try and hide Mal. cuz i cant stop. i cant lose it. you cannont lose love. if you do then you never loved in the first place. sometimes i wish i could fall out of love. it would make alot of the pain go away. but then i guess my love wouldnt be as true. actually i dont believe in falling out of love. i dont thinks its possible. cuz if you really love then it will never die and you can never fall out of it. i guess thats why im screwed...all these teen relationships where people think they're in love..but it ends up not bein real. i cant be like that. i cant help falling in love. and everytime its for real. and i dont lose it. it doesnt go away. all i can do is hide it. burrying it deep in my heart. do you know how much i envy married couples? i want that so bad. i want someone to be devoted to me. i want someone who will not leave me cold and alone. and i wnat someone to love me in return just as much as i love them. yeah im willing to wait. im willing to wait all my life if i have to. but im sick of bein hurt by people. because im not like other people. other people can just leave, break up, be hurt, and whatever and they can go on in life just fine. i cant. it doesnt go away. i always remember it. and it always hurts. how long has it been since kari? i still hurt from that. it will never go away. people around me dont understand that. and i dont blame them. but they affect me so much. its why i hate people bein mean to others. cuz i know that there are other people out there like me. people who are affected so much by cruelty. its not like we just get over it. it sticks with us. some of us its there forever. its why i try so hard not to be cruel to anyone. cuz i dunno how much that will affect them. one little thing i do to someone could be stuck with them forever. i know cuz im that way. and i still have that pain. even my best friends have done it to me. most people dont even know they do it. im not one of those people who just tells ya when you hurt me. i keep it locked inside. im too afraid to tell people. i hate people not bein happy with me. its funny that even with all the pain that people cause me i still love them. i love people. so much. i dunno why. i love to help people. its what i want to do with my life. i want to grow up and help teens like me. teens that think that there is no one in this world who understands them. or that think they are alone. i dont want them to be alone. i want them to know that they are not alone and that their is at least some person on this world that understands. or that can understand. i want to give them what i didnt have when i needed it. i want to give them what i dont have still. i want them to have someone who they can talk to and who will care. my gosh i'm already loving people that probably arent even born yet. ha! i dont care though. i know what i want to do with my life. well i dunno if i feel any better...but oh well! at least i said it. yeah i still feel pretty bad. im so tired. physically, emotionally, mentally...i want comfort...i need comfort... oh and here's a great song...Ashley reminded me of it with what she said...she did what she had to do... Do What You Have To Do by Sarah McLachlan what ravages of spirit conjured this temptuous rage created you a monster broken by the rules of love and fate has lead you through it you do what you have to do and fate has led you through it you do what you have to do ... and I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go every moment marked with apparitions of your soul I'm ever swiftly moving trying to escape this desire the yearning to be near you I do what I have to do the yearning to be near you I do what I have to do but I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go I don't know how to let you go a glowing ember burning hot burning slow deep within I'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you I know I can't be with you I do what I have to do I know I can't be with you I do what I have to do and I have sense to recognize but I don't know how to let you go I don't know how to let you go I don't know how to let you go |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | i want to cry... |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | we'll see if i actually sleep tonight... |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | well i guess it hit me today. i miss her. terriblly. it hurts. i mean i never was dependent on her to be happy. i can be happy without her. and i guess in a way i am still happy. its more content i guess. but its like i want her because of who she is. because i love her. not because im dependent on her. not cuz i need her to make my pain go away. God does that for me. its a genuine feeling. i love her and thats why i want to be with her. i guess i couldnt complain. maybe at least for a little while i could feel what is was like to be loved in return. cuz i know she loved me. even if she lost the feeling. at i could feel it for a little bit. and lemme tell ya it was great. it was a wonderful feeling. gosh i love her so much. |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | this is the third time i've written today. wow bit obsessed now i am. actually im jsut having 'problems' so im writing. nothin's changed really. i have no feelings. nothin. i dunno what to feel. sadness from losing somethin i cherished and yet i am content. im dont want to kill myself. i dunno...i just know that i will be ok. maybe im losing my feeling. maybe im losing hope that ill ever find what im searching for. i dunno. im so confused with my feelings...what feelings i have left. i guess i know that what im goin through all has a purpose. i know ill be ok and that God will make it ok. im gonna leave now and go watch a movie...goodnight |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | well nothin's really changed. im still upset. its such a weird feeling. its like im sad and upset and i wish that it could be different. i wish she didnt have to go. i wish we could be happy together. but i know that ill be ok. even though i am not happy with what has happend. i already miss it so much. i dunno if my faith has been strengthened at all. im just...emotionless. i have none left. i have nothing left to give. no more tears. no more cries. no more pleads. i am so tired. so tired of this world. im so tired of getting what i want and then having it taken from me. but i guess i at least still have my soul...i still have my Lord. and i know that no matter what people do to me...no matter how they hurt me he will still be there....unwavering...and that gives me comfort. and the fact that in heaven i wont have to cry and more tears... |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | well nothin's really changed. im still upset. its such a weird feeling. its like im sad and upset and i wish that it could be different. i wish she didnt have to go. i wish we could be happy together. but i know that ill be ok. even though i am not happy with what has happend. i already miss it so much. i dunno if my faith has been strengthened at all. im just...emotionless. i have none left. i have nothing left to give. no more tears. no more cries. no more pleads. i am so tired. so tired of this world. im so tired of getting what i want and then having it taken from me. but i guess i at least still have my soul...i still have my Lord. and i know that no matter what people do to me...no matter how they hurt me he will still be there....unwavering...and that gives me comfort. and the fact that in heaven i wont have to cry and more tears... |
2,219,341 | male | 16 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | and so it's happened again. i've lost what i love. and i dont know how to feel. i am so depressed and upset. i've been crying none stop since last night. but oddly im not as hurt. maybe its cuz i have some hope that its not over forever. maybe God will give me a second chance. oh but how i am going to miss it. it had barely even started and now its over. and i feel as if all the love i gave was wasted again. i mean i give all of my heart and i always think that they love me in return. but then they 'just dont feel the same way anymore'. and i dont blame them. they are only human. but it hurts. even though its somewhat easier this time it still hurts. it feels like i've been lied to again. but i dont want to believe that any of them did that on purpose. cuz i know they didnt. but the pain is easier this time. i spent all night praying and crying. and now i know that my God can give me the relief from the pain that i have endured all my life. and that gives me hope to live one more day. and each day. and someday he will give me rest... |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.