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883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 18,September,2002 | I couldn't watch more than 2 minutes of Fastlane. That dude with the hair is like a poor (and I mean POOOOOR) man's version of Tom Cruise. Just thought I'd pipe up. Pipe. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 18,September,2002 | Wow. Thanks for sharing, Panda... that guy is my new hero. I lack the stamina. I saw urlLink this show last night, and enjoyed it. That frightens me. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 18,September,2002 | Just when I thought the 'Around-the-World' trip Billygoat and I are taking was a good idea, I find something urlLink better . This guy is friends with Anna Marie (for those of you out there that know AM). All I have to say is: BRILLIANT. God bless Mike Walsh and God bless bowling. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 17,September,2002 | I have to go to Cleveland... I just heard that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is going to have a special U2 exhibit starting in early 2003... it's like my dream come true, or something. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 17,September,2002 | Billygoat comes back from Cleveland today. Yay! In other news, I just ate a packet of Sour Skittles and am jumping around all over the place. Seriously, I just showed my coworker a reenactment of Mike Tyson biting your arms off in the classic Nintendo game 'Mike Tyson's Punchout.' In case you're wondering, you can play it for free urlLink here . |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 17,September,2002 | To all you suckerheads who don't live in Chicago: BONO IS IN TOWN TODAY. He is going to be on Oprah on Friday and the taping is today. Supposedly he was at the Stones show last night at the Aragon and sang with the band. Cross your fingers....perhaps I'll run into him on Michigan Ave. I hope I don't faint or something. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 13,September,2002 | Special thanks to Stoner for performing a vigilante rodent inspection earlier this week (she gave us the all-clear). My own rodent-removal procedure consisted of hysterical calls to our apartment management company (creatively called Apartment Management Company). The woman with the lucky job of answering the phones there calmly explained to me that the mouse will eat the poison put out by the exterminator and then leave your apartment to die. I wasnt quite sold with that premise as Id think a mouse would choose to die in the plush environs of our apartment versus venturing out into the world for one last adventure, but since we have several senior citizens in our building, this lady gets must get away with such tall tales on a regular basis. Whatever. To further complicate all this, Ive seen too many Tom & Jerry, Speedy Gonzales, and even Micky Mouse cartoons to begin to think that its a done deal that the mouse will eat the poison, no matter how enticing. Im nervous that left to its own devices, the little bastard will sneak the poison in my morning coffee and hit me over the head with a giant anvil. So now that weve confirmed that the only residents of apartment 205 are Stoner and myself, I can look forward to a pleasant weekend. *sigh* Further housing lowdown I caught a bit of urlLink Rear Window recently, and it has me even more suspicious of the clowns across the hall. Im determined to figure out whats up so far my sleuthing has uncovered the fact that they keep their mini-blinds nearly closed a lot of the time. Ill keep you updated. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 12,September,2002 | Hey...I got no shame, I'd do it. I'll eat AND get my toesies done. Hell, yeah. Which reminds me of something... Back when I was dating a complete psycho, she used to get a kick out of painting my big ol' Fred Flintstone feet. I didn't care, since you know...what else did I have to do, so I let her, we both laughed and I kind of forgot about it. I mean...REALLY forgot about it. Cut to: Time: 2 Days Later Scene: Bloomington Karate Center I used to be quite the avid kickboxer (and no, I don't look like John Cusack from Say Anything) and as such, I'd get suited up, hop in the ring and pound all kinds of fools into paste. I had a bit of a reputation as being a bruiser. As a shorter, stockier guy I could move quick and hit pretty gosh-darn hard. Well, imagine my absolute horror when I began to strap my footpads on and saw... Pink Glitter Nail Polish. Like a trooper, I fought anyway and avoided the odd glances I got from some of the other clowns, but I removed it quickly once I got home. I used the old 'Oh, my girlfriend did that' routine. They would just nod and go...'Uh-huh, yeah...' Ah...good times, good times. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 12,September,2002 | That sounds delightful! Even though I never met the Shovel, I think I would thoroughly enjoy seeing him get his toenails painted. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 12,September,2002 | That's funny -- I was just thinking the Pandyland staff should go out for manis and pedis when Panda is in town. Don't you agree? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 12,September,2002 | Bright Idea Of The Day: I think our Pandyland blogging staff should meet for a delicious Chipotle burrito someday. I'm just saying... |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,September,2002 | I just overheard someone say we had female problems yesterday, but then I realized they actually said we had email problems yesterday. That struck me as funny. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,September,2002 | Panda - your Bill story is classic, and informative. Ill have to keep the silverfish idea in mind for our neighbors across the hall as a defensive measure, of course. I thought I had good Bill stories, but yours takes the cake. And Stoner, stop with the quiz fixation, already. You have one alter-ego, and its Coco. If you want to nickname it Kylie or Mallrats every once and awhile, thats fine. But a rose by any other name is still a rose. Or a Coco. Im overdue to comment on the upcoming U2 release I hope youre sitting down, but Im excited about it. Not as excited as I am about an album of all-new material, but rest assured, Ill be picking it up on the first day of release (or midnight the night before, if possible). Its been a long week already, and todays anniversary isnt helping any. Tonight Stoner and I are going to Steens house for drinks (that sounds better than to drink, doesnt it?) and its a welcome diversion. They have an occasional bat problem, but I have mice, so I cant throw stones. Maybe VH1 will replay the show (a whole hour long!) Stoner and I watched last night about 'Booty'. We should be so lucky. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 10,September,2002 | This makes me very happy... urlLink Which female artist from my Cd collection are you? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 10,September,2002 | Aw...thanks, Stoner. I wasn't sure if my feeble contributions meant much. But (dab, dab) I guess they do. Keep this under your hat, but I'm currently teaching myself how to make them-there quizzes. I hope to 'roll out' my new quiz on Pandyland here in the next week or so. It should be absolutely amazing. Well...probably not, but... |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 10,September,2002 | DJS, I like to read your Soft Drink site. And I take all of the quizzes -- I forgot to weigh in on that before -- I LOVE quizzes. So anyways, this is what I just found out: urlLink take the test here brought to you by urlLink Quizilla . I've got to go out and shake it. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 10,September,2002 | That story sounds oddly familiar...Billygoat and I thought my silverfish were coming from Bill, the guy across the hall from me. Here is his story: I first ran into Bill in the elevator when I was doing my laundry. He's this huge, bald, gay man. Picture Mr. Clean with a lisp. When you first see him you think 'This guy is going to totally kick my ass' until you hear him say something like 'Oh, I just *love* your shoes.' So I thought he was just a bit eclectic. He even offered to give me his XBOX because he said he never used it. Sweet, right? Until I found out he was completely schizophrenic. I started running into him in the hallway at weird times. He would look at me strangely until I finally asked him what was up. Bill asked me stuff like 'Did you knock on my door the other night?' or 'Did you hear that pounding before?' I, of course, answered 'no' to both of these questions. He then told me something that was really wacko. 'Someone was pounding incessantly on my door last week so I went to the door but no one was there. When I looked at your door across the hall, I saw shadows of feet under the door.' I quickly responded, 'Wait a second, bud. I wasn't even in town last week.' (the ol' NYC alibi) But Bill insisted... 'The cops are after me (I'm a drug dealer, but just a *little* drug dealer) and so I think that they have someone watching me who is using your apartment as a hideout.' WTF?? I told him I appreciated the 'heads up', and I would look out for him and the mysterious door-knocker. Translation: 'I will continue to dead bolt my door and avoid you at all costs, you freakshow.' So last week he finally moved out. More like got KICKED OUT. It turns out he never paid any of his bills (and I thought drug dealing was a lucrative profession) and he started to use the outlet we had in our hall to plug in HIS ENTIRE APARTMENT. No lie, I tripped over his extension chord everytime I went to my apartment. It was pretty funny, though, since I hate the management company for my building and he was really socking it to 'em. But still, the guy was nuts. So that's why I have silverfish. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 09,September,2002 | For the record, our apartment is spotless (except for the peanut butter that is probably now all over the place, thanks to our old-fashioned mousetraps). We think the vermin has something to do with the people across the hall. They're very suspicious -- about two weeks ago, window washers were going into each apartment to wash the windows. There were signs posted everywhere telling us that our apartments would be entered, and our windows would be washed. This prompted the neighbor lady to hang a number of things on her door, including: 1) a doorknob hanger that says 'do not disturb', 2) a copy of the fax she sent to the apartment management company, requesting that she not be disturbed because she is working on a very important civil court case and just does not have time for this 3) a copy of the letter she sent -- via certified mail -- telling the window washer place that her apartment is not to be disturbed, 4) notes for the 'independent contractor window washers' in case they somehow missed the message that this apartment is not to be disturbed. This stuff is still hanging on their door, even though the window washers have been done with our floor for almost two weeks now. I've been a little too scared to read everything that is posted, because I don't want them to jump out, grab me, and pull me into their scary apartment. Hal thinks it is a human chop shop. ANYWAYS, that's why we think there is a mouse around...because of the dead bodies. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 09,September,2002 | Well, while we're on the subject... My girlfriend is a clean-freak. When I think our apartment is spotless, she thinks it's filthy. So... She was going to have a bunch of her friends over for a 'girls night' where they'd drink, watch chick flicks, talk about make-up or whatever... the works. The bottom line? My presence wasn't requested, so I hung out with my parents and such. In preparation for Girl Fest 2002, she cleaned the place, top to bottom until you could eat off of the floor. The girls came over, I was no where to be found, life was good. Wrong. I got a call on my cell phone around 9:15pm and she was a little excited. It seems that a bat had managed to get into our lovely Uptown apartment (a first, by the way) at the most opportune of times. The lessons? Clean doesn't always = vermin-free & sometimes it's not a good idea to kick me out of the apartment for the night. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 09,September,2002 | So I was thinking of visiting Hal and Stoner in Minneapolis, but now it seems I may have to reconsider. Vermin? Do you guys need me to clean your place or what? I should talk, though. Just when I thought I had my silverfish problem under control...I find another sneaky bastard on my window sill. Drat! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 09,September,2002 | RED ALERT! Hal and I have a mouse in our apartment. We're terrified. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 09,September,2002 | DJS, probably better that I missed lunch. I could get myself in trouble with sharing office gossip... And as far as video game obsession, I thought I would tell you that I too was addicted to one of the many Mario game some years ago (this is before I had to go to 'group' for Tetris issues). Somehow, I don't think that letting you know that you share a problem that commonly affects adolesent girls will help. So I won't tell you that. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 06,September,2002 | DJS, I've been there. I've felt your pain. In the 7th grade, I became horribly addicted to The Legend of Zelda. I wanted to win so badly. I remember dreaming about the game, and thinking about it during that last hour of school -- then rushing home to play until I had swimming practice. Thank goodness for organized sports, or I could have become a tech person or something. Ew. Instead, I decided to purse a career in marketing. What does that mean? Well, today me and the rest of my department are formatting recipes to put into a cookbook to sell during United Way week. Literally -- it's cut, paste, format, repeat. It's kind of depressing when you think about it -- that in theory, we're donating probably $3000-5000 worth of time and printing costs to raise maybe $300. But I guess that is better than nothing... |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 06,September,2002 | HAL: That stuff about the drunken slob was comedy gold. I miss all the good stuff. If you join us at Khan's today, I'd like to hear more stories from the trenches. I have a confession to make. I'm a Super Mario Sunshine junkie. Yes. I need to clean out the closet on this as it's gotten out of hand. Ever since playing the demo for the new Nintendo Gamecube game, featuring everyone's favortie mustachioed plumber, I knew I needed to have it for myself. I plotted, I schemed and somehow I convinced my girlfriend that along with a new entertainment center, desk, and chair for our townhouse, our new home wouldn't be complete unless we had a Gamecube and the Super Mario game. We bought it yesterday. Sweet Christ. I should've known this would happen. Now, since I don't watch a lot of TV, I whittle my idle hours playing video games. The wit of Seinfeld escapes me. I want Frasier dead. Don't get me started on American Idol. Televised sports? Sorry friends...no. I'm almost 30 and a guy, so I usually play video games with guns and cars and all kinds of mayhem. Not this time. I'm a chubby plumber chasing mushroom-headed little guys, collecting coins, and spraying plants with water. If you were to stand outside my apartment door, you'd hear the Super Mario music, the noise it makes when he jumps and the 'ching, ching' of collecting items needed to free the princess or whatever the hell it is I'm supposed to do. Help me. I was tired last night. My girlfriend went to bed around 9pm and I should've followed suit. It was hot and miserable and I really could've used the sleep. Getting the 8th red coin could've waited until a more reasonable hour. I mean...I own the machine and game. It's not like it's going anywhere. At around 12:30am...I crawled into bed: red-eyed, sweaty and jumpy. I must've looked like a crack addict. I woke up this morning thinking of excuses to not come into work today. Did I want to take care of some errands that needed taking care of? No. Did I have an appointment? No. Was I thinking I could catch up on writing my book? No. I wanted to play the stupid game. Damn you Mario. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 06,September,2002 | I will be in NYC all next week - yet again I have to be in NY on September 11th. So someone is going to need to say something on this site other than me. Let's hope I won't have to make another road trip across the country like last year. Ciao, bella. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 05,September,2002 | Who needs to watch the VMA's when you can catch the best bits on Conan O'Brien? Those best bits being the hilarious comments by everyone's favorite pooch: urlLink Triumph the Insult Comic Dog . Who wouldn't like a dog that humps Joey Fatone from N'Sync? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 04,September,2002 | After that 1-1/2 hour Marathon Medley (more like the Sweeney Sisters on crack) we finally got to the winner....the people have spoken: And the people chose the 20-year-old Texan cocktail waitress - Kelly Clarkson! All kidding aside, having been involved in choral music for most of my life, I've heard good singers as well as really bad singers...and I have to say - Kelly is one of the best I've heard for someone her age. What makes her voice so unique: completely effortless. Now if I could just get that stupid 'A Moment Like This' song out of my head. That, and picturing Seacrest and Dunkleman naked in a hot tub.... OK, maybe I just went too far. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 04,September,2002 | Greetings from So-Cal. Writing to you cordless!! Im here for some meetings and theyve been fine. Tonight the real entertainment began at our celebration dinner to celebrate a less than successful rollout, but it would be bad to not have the dinner that usually follows such rollouts, so whatever. A certain celebrant decided that celebration dinner translates in idiot as you should be drunk. Examples include when we had ordered our own desserts and then he said bring out another 3 or 4 tiramisus to share. Uh, there were only 9 of us, and we had all just ordered what we wanted. Throughout dinner, when someone finished their drink, he would order another one for them. They wouldnt know it till another (unwanted) new drink appeared in front of them. My boss (a vegan) joined the table only to have him helpfully point her our to the waiter by yelling, SHES THE VEGAN. Im sure the other patrons appreciated this info. After dinner, a bottle of Veuve Clicquot appeared, and he yelled THIS IS ON ME, THIS IS A CELEBRATION FOR CRISSAKES! I LIKE TO LIVE LIFE. Uh, okay but the best was at the very end, when a few people had filtered out. He cornered the two business sponsors and resident corporate bigwigs and told them I DONT UNDERSTAND OUR BUSINESS MODEL IT IS GOING TO FAIL. I KNOW THE BROKERAGE INDUSTRY LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND, AND WERE GOING TO FAIL. Mind you, were not in the brokerage industry Cue exit of everyone with the exception of Mr. My-resignation-is-forthcoming we left him at the restaurant as he told us I JUST SAW MY FRIEND HE WANTS TO FINISH THE BOTTLE WITH ME We re-convene tomorrow morning at 8am. Hope he makes it. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 04,September,2002 | I am very surprised (and disappointed) to see all you hard-core U2 fans have not even mentioned the fact that U2 is coming out with its second 'Best Of' collection in November. This one's covering some of my fave music from 1990 to 2000. So much to look forward to: 1. Even Better Than The Real Thing 2. Mysterious Ways 3. Beautiful Day 4. Electrical Storm (William Orbit Mix) (new song) 5. One 6. Miss Sarajevo 7. Stay (Faraway, So Close!) 8. Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of 9. Gone (new mix) 10. Until The End Of The World 11. The Hands That Built America (new song) 12. Discotheque (new mix) 13. Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me 14. Staring At The Sun (new mix) 15. Numb (new mix) 16. The First Time |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 03,September,2002 | A very ill person has given the Walgreens pharmacy the wrong phone number Hal and I keep getting their automated calls informing this person that their prescription is ready. We had another one today. He or she must take a LOT of pills (or use a lot of cream, if it is a skin condition) because the calls come pretty regularly. Sometimes I wonder if the person died and we got their phone numberand its just the same prescription, over and over. That would be sad. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 03,September,2002 | Billygoat has officially moved out of his place and out of Chicago. No more sweet location off of Michigan Ave to brag about for him. He can no longer bring chicks over to try and impress them with his Chicken Candle and Whale Bone altar. Instead, he's spending his days taking care of his grandfather in Cleveland. This entails trying to hide chocolate from him (last week grandfather ate an entire bag of Hersey's minibars) and taking the phone away (a couple days ago he called 911 and the cops came to the house - maybe he called because he ran out of chocolate?). Running out of sweets would definitely be an emergency for me. I love sugar way too much. I have a bag of Jelly Bellies sitting on my desk that are calling my name. Gotta go! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 03,September,2002 | I had the honor of golfing with Hal and Bobo le Clown this weekend. I never really liked golfing but this time I had fun! Hal and Bobo are good people to golf with. They dont get mad if you hit it on the wrong fairway and decide you can pick it up and play it from wherever you want. Afterwards, I had three tall, cool glasses of Diet Coke. What a refreshing experience! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 03,September,2002 | Oh man...I miss all the cool dirt while I'm out of the office, including the cake stampede. I swear, when sack of trash behind the front desk sends out an e-mail letting us know the birthday cake for the month hath been unleashed, the people in floor below us must wonder where we suddenly got a charging head of cattle. It's like they've never had cake before...or eaten befoe or something. So HAL...lay it on me. What happened with uh...Jan? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 31,October,2002 | I just had the most terrifying experience. I visited the link Panda put on there. That Peter Pan guy frightens the living shit out of me. I was going to post the following little Halloween story on Soft Drink, but since it's collapse, I've got no choice but to put it here. Sorry. ----- Holly-ween In October of 1996, I moved from Minnesota to California to pursue a career working in film and what-not. At the time, I was married, but my uh...wife wasn't going to move out until November. I basically had a month to 'set-up' camp. After struggling for a week without work, I landed a job working on the set of Dante's Peak. It was a crappy volcano movie...you don't remember it. Since I was alone and had nary a friend, some clowns at work invited me to a Halloween party. I thought: Sure. I can rub elbows with some big shots and maybe get in good for the next film crew they set up. Of course I needed a costume and I didn't have one. Time to hit the stores. I bought a nun costume. I know it's lame to do nowadays, but back then I had a real thing about being religious people. I've been Moses (complete with Ten Commandments) Jesus Christ, and a nun. But I wasn't going to be any ordinary nun. No sir. I bought some additional accessories for my get-up. Once I was back at my dumpy apartment, I got dressed for the big night. I hit the streets dressed as a cigar-smoking nun wearing combat boots, wearing an eyepatch and sporting a tommy gun. It was so cool, and I looked so stupid. I drove way out into the valley to go to this party and since I'd only been there a couple weeks anyway, it wasn't an easy chore to find. Luck was on my side and I got there in full effect. I saw the costumes other people were wearing and I smacked myself in the forehead. I worked with the Special FX department at Digital Domain and EVERYONE was wearing really elaborate costumes. It made me want to cry. I looked like a cheap, stocky nun with shitty accessories. Shame on me. The only way to get over this, of course, was to drink. So I drank. And drank. And driz-ank. Sometime over the course of the evening, I befriended a crippled pirate and exchanged quips with a docile Frankenstein's Monster. (it's true! click urlLink HERE ) I was out of my skull drunk. Take how drunk HAL was at Pandyland Burrito Jamboree and multiply it by 8. I was drunk. I could smell booze coming out of my pores. People were holding their mugs beneath my sweaty nun robes to fill their cups. Drunk. I had such a great time, I must've sat down to absorb the atmosphere. The whole party was outside on a patio decortated all spooky-like. I sat in a lawn chair and laughed, shot people with my fake gun and had a blast. Cut to tomorrow morning. I woke up and I had no idea where I was. I was sitting in someone's backyard on a rickety lawn chair. I looked down and saw that I was wearing a black dress and had some kind of dumb scarf thing on my head. On my lap was a plastic cigar. In one hand, I held onto an empty plastic cup that smelled like beer. In the other hand, I was gripping a plastic Thompson machine gun. What in the sweet name of Christ happened to me? The sun was out, there was dew on the grass and I had no idea where I was or how I'd gotten there. The Halloween party had been taken down and no one bothered to wake me up. I promptly stood up, staggered through the stranger's lawn and began to look for my car. Best Halloween ever, man. HAPPY HALLOWEEN Pandyland!!! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 30,October,2002 | Today I had a terrifying experience. One of the guys I work with came to the office dressed as one of the Village People. And I thought Britney Spears was the only one who thought that was cool. I'm reminded of last year when Billygoat and I dressed up as Tinkerbell and Peter Pan for Halloween. Billygoat in tights...it must have been love. At least he wasn't as feminine as urlLink this guy . |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 30,October,2002 | Yesterday I had a terrifying experience. I walked by two 8 year olds walking home from school, and they were both on cell phones. Happy Haloween, Heather |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 30,October,2002 | Dear Duffer, What happened yesterday? Signed, Stoner |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 30,October,2002 | Have you ever had one of those days where some things go incredibly right (you get an unforeseen pay raise no where near your review date, and you get a traffic ticket thrown out) and some things go incredibly wrong too (you're sick, your company loses a key account, there are struggles at home)? Well, I had such a day yesterday. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 30,October,2002 | Stoner, Congratulations! I can't wait to read your stuff, and I really can't wait for that point in the future when I can say 'I knew her when...' |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 30,October,2002 | AND I have another story. After a particularly bad day last week, I applied for a few jobs through Monster as therapy. I got a call for an interview today. Im starting to think I should go play the lottery. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 29,October,2002 | Um - I gave that magazine an idea for another story, and guess what. They want that one too! I have my first real official assignment, and they are going to send me a contract and everything! I am now really, truly, a gosh-darned freelance writer. I am so proud I could explode. I have to get one of those bowler hats with the little 'press' thingie in it. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 29,October,2002 | Greetings, Pandyland! As Panda mentioned, I'm currently in NYC staying with my bro/sis-in-law (aka 'my peeps') for the week. Last evening Panda and I walked by a trendy-looking bar at about 5:30pm. There were a few people inside, baracades at the ready outside, and big promotional posters for a certain heartthrob's new CD by the entrance. Seems we had stumbled upon a party for Nick Carter (aka a Backstreet Boy and Britney's rumored new squeeze for those not in-the-know). We flirted with the idea of waiting a few hours for the chance to scream at Nick and his party people as they arrived to celebrate his fantastic new release. But then we went into a non-trendy bar around the corner and had beers. I don't regret our choice (yet). While here, I've been enjoying the HBO provided by my hosts. I saw the Sopranos (yes, it's great) and it was weird to see it only a day after it originally aired. I'm used to being way behind on it (and Sex in the City, too) as I catch it on DVD. More importantly, I've finally seen 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'. HILARIOUS! Now I know what Duf has been talking about!!! More updates to follow. Congrats, Stoner!! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 29,October,2002 | This just in... The contest winners for that short story thingy Stoner and I entered. Visit this urlLink link to see who won and more importantly...who didn't. I think it was rigged. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 28,October,2002 | Just to let y'all know - HAL is here in NYC! We just went to lunch. What a nice surprise! Of course, she's a little too 'busy' to spend any evenings with the founder of Pandyland. I had big plans for the girl and got shot down. Ouch! Yes, DJS, I went to see Dancer in the Dark...twice. Billygoat was the one who cried like the little beyotch he is. Crocodile tears. Stoner, the only reason I knew that was a Laffy Taffy joke was because I love candy almost as much as you do. And obviously I buy them for the candy, not the laugh-potential. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 28,October,2002 | Stoner: I'm so proud of you I just don't know what else to say. That's awesome!!! Hurray for you! Who's your agent? Do they publish Children's Books? 'Cause I've got one, you know... All seriousness aside, I should point out that tomorrow we should find out who won the 24 Hour Short Story Contest both Stoner and myself entered. I'm hoping to win all the money. Panda: Despite what that Bono-nut HAL says, Selmasongs is a damn good album. Of course, I'm guessing you've seen the movie. I don't want to sound like a panty-waist, but I cried like a little beyotch. It's probably one of the best films...EVER. Duf: Sorry about Soft Drink. Can you find it in your heart to forgive? HAL: Where are you? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 28,October,2002 | Panda, you are so smart. That was off a laffy taffy wrapper. In other news, I am so proud of myself! In my writing class, I wrote an essay about swimming. I sent it to a little magazine here in town, called Twin Cities Sports. And do you know what? I think they just might print it. They said probably but first I will have to make it a little longer. I have not yet counted any chickens, but I am still very excited! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 28,October,2002 | That sounds like some lame-o joke off of a Laffy Taffy wrapper. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 28,October,2002 | Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 28,October,2002 | A bird that buries its head in mashed potatoes!!! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 28,October,2002 | I guess I need to ask: What? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 28,October,2002 | What do you get when you cross a turkey and an ostrich? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 28,October,2002 | And to have a hostile dentist on your hands is a very dangerous situation indeed! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 28,October,2002 | Panda Bear, I did not know you were a dentist! Signed, Duf |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 28,October,2002 | It's about time I openly bashed the company I work for. I highly doubt anyone who works here reads this anyway, so it probably doesn't matter if it's proclaimed here or not. DDS sucks. Today I was told I am 'hostile' and that I 'need to take control of [my] own career.' I should not wait until someone delegates work to me. Anyone who knows me at all knows that I'm the LAST person on earth to wait to take action. I'm laughing my ass off right now. Anyone in the Twin Cities need a maid? Cleaning toilets would be better than the shit I take here. Pardon the non-intended pun. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 24,October,2002 | Hey kids...rock n' roll, rock on...etc. Well, I got sick on Wednesday and here I am back at work a changed man. After diagnosing that I really abuse my stomach with some of my dining choices, I've decided that I'm going caffiene free. Can you believe it? Not only am I NEVER eating Asian food again, but my days of delicious Diet Coke are behind me. *sigh* Today marks the fourth day I've gone without that precious natural resource. Did I go through withdrawals? Yes. Did I get crazy headaches that lasted a 1.5 days? Yes. Have I kicked the habit? It appears that I have. So...alas, I'm different already because of this. Not that this is a bad thing, but I'm not NEARLY as hyper as I used to be. CK 2 even commented that she can see the change in me. Jesus...what was I like before? My new beverage of choice? Water. Yep. Water. Not nearly as exciting or effervescent, but it's for my own good. Poop. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 24,October,2002 | i-e-i-e-i-e-i-i |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 24,October,2002 | Why can't you do it? Why can't you set your monkey free? All it takes is a little doing. Do you want the monkey or do you want me? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 24,October,2002 | Anyone who knows me pretty well knows that I love monkeys. My brother gave me an 'adopt-an-orangutan' kit for a present and now I am the proud mother of a funny looking monkey in Borneo named 'Einstein.' I also love that Sprint PCS commercial highlighting the 'monkey with a cold.' No, not a 'movie that is old.' How cute is he with those Kleenexes? Pretty darn cute. Before the Snipers were caught, Billygoat and I commented on the $15 or so million they were asking for ransom money. We thought the people of Maryland could have a fund raising activity...perhaps a 'Bowling for Snipers' telethon. People could take pledges and then the Sniper would get one of those big, monstrous checks like they give away for Publisher's Clearing House. But then we thought that might not be a good idea for the Sniper because then everyone would see him. It's a thought anyway. I picked up and listened to Selmasongs today after it had collected dust over the last year. What a musical spectacular. Bjork is one talented imp. I remember how happy I was the first time I listened to this album, and in my excitement, I called up HAL to share my good fortune. She very unenthusiastically informed me that a 'certain coworker' of hers had the album too and played it all the damn time. I guess she didn't like it as much as me and the 'certain coworker' did. Hmmmm. I'm going solo to my cousin's wedding this weekend. My brother and dad already promised a dance with me. Great, that's all I need to feel better - to dance with a couple of 6' 6' buffoons. There better be an all-night open bar. Or the DJ better play U2-all-night-long. Things have been pretty slow around these parts. I go to NYC again next week, so hopefully things will pick up by then. Cheers! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 23,October,2002 | Christina Aguilera is trampy. I just saw this thing on MTV where she performed under the Brooklyn bridge and then was interviewed by Carson Daly. I have also seen her 'Dirty' video (though I'm kinda surprised by everyone's outrage there - it's not like they've undercovered Snow White's secret porn flick). So there's my judgement for today. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 23,October,2002 | Burn Junkie This morning I found myself thinking about the summer vacation I took with my family in August. We were in the south, in a state where there are fire ants. At midweek, the mid-point of our trip, a fire ant bit me on my right foot. For the uninitiated, fire ant bites start with a pinch-like sting, then leave a burning sensation that spreads an inch in every direction from the bite epicenter. About an hour after the bite, my foot was red in a circle (one inch in diameter) and graced by a mild itching sensation. At that moment, I realized that I loved the entire thing: the bite, the sting, the burn and the itch. On the last day of our vacation, I went back to the fire ant hill and stood there on my left foot until I was bitten again (less than ten seconds). This morning, as the mercury strived for 30 fahrenheit and the wind pushed hard for the 20's, I understood that soon winter will come to the entire country and the fire ants that were so kind to me a couple of months ago will be gone. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 22,October,2002 | I just have one question: If you have a regular site and a sister site, is that incest? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 21,October,2002 | Hiya Kids... Nah, I didn't go into hiding, I just decided to shut ol' Soft Drink down for a multitude of reasons. Below, here are a few: 1. Now that I don't have as much to complain about, content has been kind of thin. 2. It got to be more trouble than fun maintaining daily content. 3. People (in my old circle of friends) have made my goings-on the topic of too many drunken conversations. 4. A lot of clowns misunderstood or would read the wrong tone in some of my posts. 5. I want to do something different with the Soft Drink moniker. Something big, fresh, exciting... I've gotten a ton of e-mails about the site shutting down already and I feel kind of bad about it. No worries, though. I plan to get back in the blogging mix again with a new and improved page of sorts. When? Don't know. Until then, I've got Pandyland to frequent and I hope to get working on my 2nd book. It's almost finished, so I'll probably post more on my sister site: How I Got Published (or tried anyway)... |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 21,October,2002 | I think DJS had to go into hiding because of that whole fiasco with the Chipotle Mafia. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 21,October,2002 | DJS, what happened to Soft Drink? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 21,October,2002 | Im running into a little trouble here this morning. Im tired. And I keep zoning out. I keep catching myself staring off into space, and I dont even remotely look like I am working. I have become a zombie. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 21,October,2002 | Little Purple Pill/A Guy from Nebraska/I'm in love I'm pretty sure I have acid reflux disease...it was only a matter of time. Anyway, it was a good run for me, and now it is time for me to get right with God. At DJS's on Saturday night some guy named Murray mixed up a concoction called a...well, I don't know what it was called. Anyway, it was a shot of Jaegermeister submerged in half a glass of Red Bull. It was surprisingly delicious. It tasted like a sweet tart. I have to give Milton props for a great drink. I had one. DJS had 2 (at least). HAL had none. But Marcus begged her every time he poured one. Anyway, this guy Manny was from Nebraska. Just throwing that out there. In an unrelated news item, I'm in love with Bjork (add your own umlaut/diaresis). She is a total artist, and she is well pierced. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 18,October,2002 | Hey thanks! I had a great time on Saturday, even if it was a bit low-key. There were a couple of moments through the day where I stopped and looked at DJ LZ and was like: 'Holy shit. I'm 30!' But all in all, it wasn't so bad. I guess when I hit 35 or 40, I'll just spend the day weeping or something. Thanks for stopping by and for the book, HAL. It's going into the rotation immediately and from a cursory flip-through, it should be right up my alley. Thanks!!! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 18,October,2002 | Happy (belated) birthday, DJ Shovelpants! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 18,October,2002 | Was it something I said? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 17,October,2002 | About Soft Drink... I don't know that I'm gonna put a link on Pandyland to Soft Drink. It'd be kind of weird, like bridging two different worlds together that really should be kept seperate. Who knows, maybe if I lighten up a bit and not worry about it so much. Of course, one of my big concerns is that I've got two different blogging 'handles' and it might be confusing to those who don't know who I am. Does that make me a jerk? Quite frankly, I'm amazed anyone even reads Soft Drink, so... Since tomorrow is the big 3-0 for me, Duf, CK2 and I are going to see The Ring today on company time. We're calling it 'Team Building.' I call it getting the hell out of the office for a good 2 hours or so. Best...birthday...ever. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 17,October,2002 | Hey guys, DJS - Nice work with the links and photo page! Me likey. Any chance we'll get a link to soft drink? ;) Me also likey not working. This morning mom and I went for facials, then to Cafe Latte for lunch. While Cafe Latte is normally a great lunch spot it was more crowded then I'd ever seen it (due to MEA weekend??) and I felt rushed through the line by the pair behind us. It used up all the relaxation I had banked up the hour before. The crazy woman behind us kept telling her friend that she got her teeth 'from the bone bank - doesn't that sound weird?'. For the record lady, yes it does. She repeated it several times to her buddy, though I'm sure the she heard it each time, just like all the rest of us did. Then she said 'some people died from knee parts that they got from the bone bank, I hope that doesn't happen to me!!' Well, I disagree. I hope she dies. While in St. Paul I swung by the UST bookstore (long story). It was really weird to be in such a familar place with not a single familar face - except for a glimpse of Fr. Lavin shuffling through Murray-Herrick (speaking of people about to die...). Anyway, not much has changed, though the Grill got all new chairs and tables and it looks pretty nice. No update on 'Scooters', though. Sorry, Panda. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 16,October,2002 | Yeah...I'm a rotten Blogger. I might be just pooped from all the revampin' I did on this-here site. Nah...that's not it. I think part of it is that I've been a writin' whore on Soft Drink, so I guess I gots to wait until I have some exclusive fun to drop on Pandyland. Panda, if you find any cool jobs in your travels, let me know. I'm fed up with this place. Yeee... |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 16,October,2002 | Sorry Stoner. I can't talk for the other Pandyland slobs, but I've been caught up in job-searching mania. I think Pandyland Bratwurst Jamboree is a perfect name...not only does it touch on a Milwaukee delicacy, it has the same PBJ initials. Brilliant! You should be in communications or something. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 16,October,2002 | Why is everyone so quiet today....? Delayed-onset PBJ hangover? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 16,October,2002 | If we go to Milwaukee, it has to be the Pandyland Bratwurst Jamboree. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 15,October,2002 | urlLink Which Oct 2002 film are you? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla This is a dream come true. Ever since I was a little girl, I've wanted to be Madonna. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 15,October,2002 | urlLink Which Oct 2002 film are you? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla Interesting since I don't usually like Adam Sandler. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 15,October,2002 | urlLink Which Oct 2002 film are you? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla Thank you, Clarice... |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 15,October,2002 | TRI-MENDOUS work, DJS. The e-mail has been sent to my brother, requesting his floorspace. Let's hope he remains the coolest brother ever and lets us stay with him. This is definitely on. No hoax. I know at least HAL is with me. And Stoner and Duf can be suckered into anything. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 14,October,2002 | To quote Bjork: 'Sometimes the things I do astound me.' Some of our 'special features' are up and running already kids. Not bad for a half hour's work. Milwaukee: Are we seriously going to do this? I'll cry myself to sleep if I find out this is just some kind of hoax. I think it'd be a damn good time in America's Heartland. Last time I went there (to see Tenacious D) I got so drunk that I couldn't hear. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 14,October,2002 | Abort! Abort! Abort! Someone already took pandyland as a Yahoo user name....So our official e-mail is: [email protected] Pandyland members, e-mail me at [email protected] if you would like the password. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 14,October,2002 | Panda...I'm on it like a Jimmy-Cap. Set me up and I'll bribe the IT guy over here to show me some HTML magic (since I'm not boring and enough of a shut-in to learn that stuff on my own). Do we have any requests for links? I think we should set up a group [email protected] e-mailbox in case some visitors decide to send us a message. We can all have access to it and respond or check mail periodically. Also, when I get some time, I'll slap together a link that can take us to the Pandyland picture page. Everything is possible, yo. P.S. I wonder if Gino finished that sack of grass. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 14,October,2002 | Regarding The Milwaukee Pandyland Gala: it's really hard to find body-building midgets on this short notice. I might have to resort to finding a group of drunk girls who don't mind doing Jigs on street corners. Oh wait... My little brother doesn't know it yet, but we will be staying with him. If asked, he will wear his Angry Scotsman wig and Kilt apron to join us on Water Street in style. Stay tuned... |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 14,October,2002 | So now that the pics are 'live' on Ofoto.com, who needs Admin rights to put 'em up on this site (or at least via link)? DJS? Are you up to the task? The no-links look of this site has become a bit mundane. Let's spice things up! (However, that does not mean we need to resort to polls and Survivor-style tactics. Yech.) |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 14,October,2002 | Props to Panda for the great pics!! You'd think by this point in my life I'd know enough not to drink near flashbulbs, but alas, I am naive. Speaking of Panda, last night she told me that she's busy planning the Milwaukee-flavored jamboree. So don't expect too many post from her - you have no idea what it takes to organize a parade on short notice. Or am I saying too much?? Stoner, no more wart-related posts, please. In return, I'll publicly acknowledge the fact that you kicked my ass in 'Stratego' again last night. THAT'S sharing. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 14,October,2002 | At its height, the internet, like a vibrant democracy, provides a forum for the free exchange of ideas. As a community, we can work toward consensus and truth by debating issues of the day and elevating responses that are sound logically, ideologically, philosophically. Within the internet community, a blog, and in particular a group blog like this is a distillation of that forum. Together, us members of Pandyland can develop synergy and a higher collective understanding. We are all like mountain climbers progressing toward a summit and infinitely more likely to reach it because we are not working alone, but, rather, in concert with like minded people. We are a team focused on a single goal. In order for us to reach that goal, we need to feel that we can talk about things freely and openly. So, when Panda shares her story of love on the rocks, we are, as a community, elevated. When HAL told her story of back pain, we were enriched. DJS's deep sharing about his love of the Band the Eels was awe-inspiring. And in that spirit, I would like to thank Stoner for bringing us all closer together, for stimlulating a marketplace where ideas can be exchanged, and for bringing us all closer to higher truths by sharing her story about her struggles to overcome plantars warts. Which everyone knows come from sinful living and not swimming pools. Are you right with God, Stoner? You must be because the smite was lifted! But I digress from praising Stoner for helping us on our climb: can you see the summit friends? Also, DJS, I would like to suggest the band name: This Treatment (with mad props to Stoner). |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 14,October,2002 | Okay, I'm only admitting this because they are gone now, but I used to have plantars warts all over the bottoms of my feet. I was a swimmer all through high school and college, and pool decks and locker room showers are hotbeds for wart 'seeds' as my mom called them. Anyways, I just read about urlLink this treatment and it made me cringe. Still, it probably isn't worse than what I endured. I went to the doctor every other week for a few months, and she would cover each wart in a liquid that caused big, deep blisters. I'd have to poke them with a safety pin, and would limp around until they peeled and healed. (Note to DJS -- I think 'Peeled and Healed' would be a good band name.) Needless to say, these days I never EVER go near a locker room or pool deck without flip flops on. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 14,October,2002 | I just got Pandas pics. Man, the PBJ was great. I miss it. In other news, I tripped going up the stairs at work today, right in front of a guy I used to think was cute. For the record, I stopped thinking he was cute when I heard how many times hes dipped his nib in the office ink (as they say in Bridget Joness Diary ) but that didnt make the wipeout any less embarrassing. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 14,October,2002 | I'd like to have another Jamboree soon, as I don't remember much of the last one... *sigh*. I'm pretty sure I had a nice time, though. How did I get the 'Gino' tatoo?? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,October,2002 | She's gone for the day, so I'll sneak to her cube and eyeball the situation. 1. The drink is still in the glass. 2. It's still pink. (she thought we'd staged it and just used pink lemonade) 3. I could be wrong, but it looks like a little of it is missing. She might've taken a sip of it by mistake here at work. 4. Believe it or not, she didn't throw it away. It's still sitting out in plain view. I'm going to go over and take a digital picture of it. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,October,2002 | I thought knowing the fate of the drink would be enough but it only triggered more questions: 1. Was the drink still actually in the glass? 2. How did it look by Monday morning? 3. Did she drink it? 4. If not, what did she do with it? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,October,2002 | What a night. Expertly captured by D to tha U to tha F. Here's some of the things that stuck in my head: 1. Come to think of it...I WON'T have a Heineken. 2. Pick it up! Pick it up! pick it up! 3. The men's bathroom. Smelled like old vomit and heaven help the person who needs to go in there for an extended visit. 4. That idiot dancing and grooving by the jukebox. Went home alone. 5. The look on Gino's face when HAL said we were having a Jig-Off. 6. 'God Made All Of This' MC's' tyrade about God. Yeah, he's responsible for Gin N' Juice and all of the human filth and garbage in the Country Bar. If he made all of that...he must've taken the day off. 7. My repeated threats to wreck the place only fueled my Bon Jovi performance. I had a damn good time...really! A Milwaukee road trip really should happen. Hit Water Street in high style, and bring a laptop so that we can blog in real-time. How damn cool would that be??? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,October,2002 | Oh yes. She appreciated it ten-fold. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,October,2002 | I must know -- did the drink make it to CK 2's desk intact? |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,October,2002 | To quote DJS: Duf Fer's PBJ1 play-by-play is 'COMEDY PLATINUM.' I couldn't have said it better. Thanks to all who came out for our night of debauchery. The film (evidence) has been turned in and photos will be distributed this week. The rest of the weekend did not involve excessive amounts of alcohol, but it definitely involved excessive amounts of fun - the highlight being at the movie theater's photo sticker booth: Jillios, Stoner, HAL, and Panda have been forever emblazoned on a 'Girls Rule' sticker. Sorry Stoner - to really be part of the club, you must buy a cell phone to stick it to. See y'all at PBJ2 - maybe we should screw Milwaukee and head someplace warm - perhaps New Orleans? We could invite Gino to judge Jig Off Part Deux - 'Who Can Show the Most Skin.' On second thought, I don't want to be on the next 'Girls Gone Wild' video. Milwaukee is a better idea. Beer, cheese, & sausage...Delicious! |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,October,2002 | Pandyland Burrito Jamboree (PBJ1 - to those in the know): Would You Rather read a really long post about the PBJ1 or be forced to read bunghole for a week? Where to begin... The Beatnik Chicken ? The Flavor Twists ? CK 2's Cocktail ? No, I think we all know where we have to begin...the Jig Off! Like all official competitions that take place on Lyndale avenue after bar, our jig off need a judge and got one: Jig Judge Gino . HAL jigged. Panda jigged. C...e jigged. Gino studied the jigs intensely (too intensely?) and picked HAL as the winner. So, for those of you scoring at home, the winner of the First (annual? semi-annual? monthly?) Pandyland Burrito Jamboree Jig Off was HAL (for the record, DJS and your humble narrator did not compete). I think Gino kissed HAL, but I'm not sure. Gino shared his Flavor Twists with all PBJ1 attendees who were daring enough to eat them. Then, the ever cool (and primarily toothless) Gino declined our offer to go on and on until the break of dawn because, to quote Jig Judge Gino directly 'I'm fittin' to go home and smoke me some weed.' Does he know that marijuana is contraband listed among the items prohibited by our state's controlled substances statute? Who knew we were partying with a miscreant? But wait it gets worse... We take the party over to Super Big Mike's Subs or whatever the phuck it's called and it was too lame to tame so we go to Dulono's for some pie (except your ambitious author who had the grilled cheese), and our waiter memorized the orders for the entire table (including beverages, toppings, and everything). We declare: 'he's a genius,' and he replies 'no, I just smoke a lot of pot.' Is it me, or is the entire nation on the wacky tobacky? A Beatnik Chicken watched and Simon and Garfunkel provided (inaudible - no amped music after 12:00) background music to the meal. But, before I poo poo the Stoner Nation, the criminal world, I must report that the Pandyland crew pulled a couple of PBJ1 Capers : Your earnest secretary stole CK2's Cocktail glass from the Country Bar and DJS (a patriot if ever there was one) stole his American Flag Glass from Dulono's. He claims it was their fault for putting the flag on it. Frankly, I agree. But I haven't mentioned the Country Bar at all: The Karaoke master was a limp dicked nobody. We were surrounded by freaks. One guy came up to the table and asked DJS 'Do you have any reps at this table?' We still don't know what the phuck that means. DJS said 'no.' Another guy, after singing Snoop Dogg covers thirteen or fourteen times, challenged DJS's assertion that there was no God (because what God would deny us the mic when others had it all night long?) by saying 'look around you - God created this.' Then, as proof that God is real, and really does create stuff, DJS Got the Mic , and I assure you God was in him while he brought the hizzy dizzy with his holy spirit filled rendition of Bon Jovi's You Give Love a Bad Name . He really brought the house down (all the way down). Now, to end with the quotes of the night (in no particular order. I asked Gino to judge, them and he said 'man, cough...cough...cough...they are all...like...beautiful man. It would be like...cough...wrong to judge man.'). So here they are: 'Come to Milwaukee!' Hmmm...PBJ 2? 'Are we going to Gino's or what?' 'I want the dick.' 'Gonorrhea all the way.' 'Would you rather...?' 'I can't run, I have a cocktail in my pants.' 'Would you pass me a niz-ap-kin?' All in all, PBJ1 was a HUGE success. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 11,October,2002 | Warning! There are jokes on specially marked Diet Coke bottles. To get the punchline, you have to go to their web site. DO NOT GO TO THEIR SITE. The jokes suck. They arent funny at all. Okay one was semi-funny, but not funny enough to justify wasting valuable web-surfing time. Im so disappointed. I expected more from the worlds largest soda manufacturer. You'd think they would spring for the good jokes. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 10,October,2002 | News Flash: Duf Fer and I just got back from a quick jaunt to Rainbow Foods where I was asked to pick up some treats for a training session. Wait...you mean I can get out of the office for an additional half hour? Sold, baby. So we're listening to the Rolling Stones 2 Disc set we each purchased within the last few days. At the food depot, we snatch some cupcakes and a nice box of cookies and we're good to go. On the way out, I head down the pasta aisle. Why? Don't know. I just did...but now, I wonder if it's fate. On the lower shelf where no one can really see them is the most beautiful value pack this Blogger has ever laid eyes on. 5 boxes of delicious original Kraft Macaroni & Cheese packaged together with a bonus. What bonus, you ask? Why...a free E.T. bendable figurine, staring back at us from the cellophane box he's held hostage in. ' Gimme ,' I said and scooped it up. At a price of $3.99 I was more than sold. At the counter, the lady asked if I had an Easy Save card. Does the Pope shit in the woods? Of course I do. She swiped it and it was as thought the band started playing the parade song early. Her eyes widened as she told me about the savings I was about to reap. ' This is a good deal ,' Linda the Rainbow lady quiped. ' You saved half. ' $2.00??? Yes friends. Five boxes of deliciousness and a little brown friend to keep you company. Life is good. So good in fact that Duf ran back down the aisle and fetched a Blue Box Value Pack for himself. As he was checking out, I spied the offer on the back of the boxes. For a mere $14.99, you can have you child's picture put onto a box of macaroni & cheese, right below the banner that says 'The Cheesiest.' Now, I don't have any kids, but...well, let's say I've spent my money in worse ways. Sold! P.S. I'm anxious as all get out for the Pandyland Jamboree tonight. Gonna rock this town... (I'm so excited, I'm posting this on Soft Drink, too.) |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 10,October,2002 | I don't like cats either. In fact, I despise them and the people who own them, especially because I'm allergic. I'm a dog lover. And remember: God spelled backwards does not spell cat. |
883,178 | male | 36 | Fashion | Aries | 10,October,2002 | UmmmP. Diddy? Busta? I dont know who sings that. Give me more lines. I just interviewed the biggest character at my company. He absolutely, positively, completely and totally loves direct mail with all of his heart. And if you ask him how he is, hell say something along the lines of I am so incredibly wonderful right now, its almost impossible to be any better. When I first interviewed him last year, he tried to get me to change my auto insurance. Today he filled me in on the entire history of sales, marketing, and direct mail. (It was actually quite interesting.) He is definitely the king of leave silence and someone will fill it which left me cracking some pretty confused one-liners in hopes of getting the subject back on track. I knew I was in for it when I walked into his office and sat down the first words out of his mouth were so when are you getting married? to which I replied umsomeday? I hope? I am currently un-engaged, with no plans to get engaged in the near future He just looked at me with a straight face. I couldnt figure out if he was going to set me up with a grandson or something. (Hes old enough to be retired, but loves direct mail too much to quit.) I think he tries to shake things up at the start of every conversation, and thats why he has so much fun. Either that or hes crazylike a fox. Finally, Panda I hope that meow was coming from you and not from me (Coco) because I dont like cats. |
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