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3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 25,May,2004 | Here is Tuesday's clue in the 'Search For Shania' on KKYC. Today's clue is 'Rest a minute'. So, the two clues are: 1) North of the BNSF 2) Rest a minute Listen for the third clue tomorrow morning on my show sometime between 6 and 10, if I get up and get to work on time. |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 24,May,2004 | After a few weeks of drooling non-stop and gnawing on everythung in sight, our 5 month old has finally broken through that first tooth. Front, bottom right. Too cool. The first clue in the Search For Shania is 'North of the BNSF'. Listen for clue #2 tomorrow morning on my show. |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 24,May,2004 | Oldhippie1, the smell was actually pork chops and hot dogs, but fortunately I got to shower over the weekend. Speaking of which, weekend was good and busy. Hosted our annual 'School's Out' party for our kids. Normally we plan for 40 or 50 and have 2 show up, but this year we invited our church too, and since we're Baptists and there was food, and Baptists really like to eat, we had a full back yard. Then I spent all of yesterday afternoon trying to set up a swimming pool that is supposed to be ready for water in 30 minutes. 2 Hours later when I started filling it with water, I realized 10 year olds think 'ready for water in 30 minutes' actually means 'ready to swim in in 30 minutes'. They forget the part about 'takes 8 hours to fill up with water so you can swim'. I'm just glad my 8 year old was over at her grandparents so I only had to hear it from one impatient child. 'Search For Shania' is officially underway! Glad I was able to hide the voucher at midnight last night without getting arrested. Listen through the day today for the first clue. I'll post the clue each day here on the blog, so you'll be able to get it in cased you miss it oon the air. I'll actually post it and add it to the list of clues, so each successive post will have every clue so you can see them all together. Might help you out seeing them all together. Ain't I nice? |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 04,June,2004 | Not long ago I was sitting at a stop light here in town, and a Cadillac Escalade pulled up next to me. Now, I was sitting in my Ford Expedition, which I consider a pretty kick ass vehicle, even though it's a 97 model, so it's a few years old. But still, Expeditions are pretty dang nice. But an Escalade is an Escalade, right? Anyway, I noticed the back wsindow of the Escalade was dirty, and had some doodlings in the dirt, but even more, some bird had decided to make this Escalade it's personal outhouse. And it occured to me, no matter your social status, no matter how classy a vehicle you drive, bird's don't care, they will still crap all over it. Kinda sums up life, if you ask me. Also have a cocroach in the hallway ooutside the studio door this morning, obviously not feeling too well. Don't know if heate too much crap or what, but he's on his back and not kicking too much. I haven't stepped on him yet, though, as much as I'd like too. No, it's not pity...it's not wanting cockroach guts on the bottom of my shoe. |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 03,June,2004 | Can you believe it? If someone had told me we'd hit the 100 degree mark for the first time June 2nd, I would have said, right, sure we will. But it happened. At 4 yesterday afternoon, it was 100 at Cannon Air Force Base. 100 degrees! And it's still 3 weeks til Summer officially begins. So, hot enough for ya? |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 02,June,2004 | You ever get up and almost immediately you know it's going to be one of those days? Welp, today is one of those days. Hopefully I have things back together and things will return to a semblance of normalcy. Thanks COurtney for the posts. The path ih that last clue was kind of a double clue, although it was meant more to mean the walking path. However, one of the clues for this week was going to be 'Follow the pathway', referring to CCC's old slogan 'Pathway to your future'(which, as an aside, when I first got to Clovis almost 10 years ago and heard for the first time, I thought said 'halfway to your future'...I know, I'm not always too sharp). Congratulations on winning the tickets, and sorry I didn't get to meet you and your husband in person. Thanks for listening and playing! |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 01,June,2004 | Exercise your democratic right and get out and vote! OK, just because someone found the Shania voucher doesn't mean the blog is closing down. Oh no! The blog will continue forward. It existed before the search, and it will continue long afterward. And speaking of the search, where was the voucher? I know you're all dying to know. Well, it was at Clovis Community College, at the track, taped to the underside of a cement bench at the west end of the track. I still haven't at this point had the winner come in and claim the tickets, but the business office is justg now opening, so I expect her to arrive any minute. I'm dying to know which of the 5 very vague(I thought...shows what I know) clues gave it away for her and her husband. I'll let you know.... |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 31,May,2004 | I can't beleived someone found the voucher already! I am amazed that someone could find it from those clues. I would never have thought to look where it was hidden from the 5 clues from last week. Where was the voucher hidden, you ask? Well, I'll finally reveal that Tuesday morning on the air after the winner comes by the studio to claim the tickets. Hope everyone has a safe and happy Memorial Day. Remember today why we have Memorial Day every year. Go lay flowers on the grave of a veteran you don't know, and of course on the ones you do. And say a prayer for all the men and women fighting right now in Iraq and Afghanistan. And remember, if you're celebrating with a few libations, don't drink and drive. |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 09,June,2004 | First of all, let me say I am not immune to the pain the family of the woman tragically killed last July 4th in a police pursuit here in Clovis. That being said, I am curious. I see in an article in our local 'newspaper' that her family has filed a lawsuit against the city, and the former Clovis police officer involved, for being negligent. The point I question is not whether they were or were not, because I have no idea. What I do wonder is why the person who is responsible for the pursuit, the person who crashed into and killed the woman, the person who, if he had not run from the police, would not have caused the death of the woman, why is the family not suing him as well? Is it because he has no money should they prevail in their lawsuit? How can he bare no responisibility? Had he pulled over as he should have when the police officer attempted to stop him, none of this would have happened. So why is it solely the responsibilty of the city and the former officer? Again, why is the person who ran not named as well in this lawsuit? Maybe it's because he doesn't have $750,000, or insurance that is kept for just such an instance as this that will probably eventually settle? Makes one wonder... |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 08,June,2004 | You know, I have been here at the radio station for almost 10 years now, and for that entire time the trash can in the kitchen area has been in the same place. Yesterday, for some unknown reason, they moved it. Now, I realize this is a small thing, but why did they have to move it? What was wrong with the space where it has been since I got here? Was it something mandated by OSHA? Had it become a hazard where it was? Or did someone just feel the overwhelming urge to screw with stuff? Or is this part of the ongoing great conspiracy here to drive Joe crazy? If that's the case, I ain't got far to go. Man, glad I don't own an automatic weapon. |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 07,June,2004 | The Tampa Bay Lightning are the Stanley Cup Champions! My new favorite team took the cup with a 2-1 win over the Calgary(Alberta, Canada...Lance Storm, anyone?) Flames last night. Now I really don't have anything personal against the Flames, but the Lightning have been a laughing stock in the NHL for so long I just had to root for them. Plus, as long as a Canadian team doesn't win the cup, I'm happy. Hey, it's a friendly rivalry wit da Great White Nort, but it is s a rivalry. I don't know how many, if any, people are actually checking out this blog, but if you are, let me know, ok? Take a couple minutes to register with blogger.com so you can post comments. Any comments. I just am looking for some feedback, whether it's about the blog, my posts, the radio station(either one, KKYC or KICA), or just life in general. This is a good place to get hold of me if I'm not on the air, obviously. Want me to play a request tomorrow morning? Make a comment on here, and more than likely I'll see it in time to get it on for you the next day. Heck, I might even see it in time to get to it today. Give it a shot. What, you actually have better things to do while you're sitting at work, surfing the net? |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 07,June,2004 | by the weekend passing of the greatest president in our country's recent history. President Ronald Reagan was a great American, and I am sad to hear of his death. It seems hard to believe that it had been 10 years since he announced that he was suffering from Alzheimer's. He had been so much out of the public eye that it was easy to forget that, I guess. I can only think of one thing that I wish Ronnie hadn't done, and that is the deregulation of the broadcast industry. That has resulted in all the bland, cookie cutter, sucky radio you hear across the country. Kinda scared me that Ronnie thought a nuclear war was winnable, but you know what? If Ronnie had been president, Afghanistan would have been nuked, and I'm not sure that would have been a bad thing... |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 15,June,2004 | Well, on one hand I am glad to see the Supreme Court tell this putz Michael Newdow to go home, but on the other I am disappointed they didn't make a stand and tell him to permanently go away, that 'One nation, under God' does not violate the seperation of church and state. I mean, George Washington himself said the blue in our flag represented Heaven. And where does it say that a person that is an athiest HAS to say that part anyway? I could come closer to understanding their argument if they were required by law to say it, but they are not. They're not even required to say the pledge. But instead, the Supreme Court said he couldn't sue to have that phrase removed on behalf of his daughter because he doesn't have custody of her. While that is true, why did they take the easy way out and leave the door open for him or some other moron to bring it up again? One of these days they'll have to rule on it on the basis of seperation of church and state, and I guess all we can do is hope they make the right ruling.... |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 14,June,2004 | Here are some links to check out if you want to know more about our beloved Stars & Stripes: http://chinfo.navy.mil/navpalib/allhands/ah0697/jun-pg18.html A neat graphical representation of how to hang and display the flag, courtesy of the U.S. Navy http://americanhistory.si.edu/ssb/2_home/fs2.html The Smithsonian's site 'The Star Spangled Banner: The Flag That Inspired The National Anthem' www.usflag.org The flag's web site includes history of the flag, graphics of historic and current flags, and a collection of flag FAQ's www.legion.org flag FAQ's provided by the American Legion, just click on 'The Flag' Long may Old Glory wave! |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 14,June,2004 | If you have logged on here recently looking for some pearls of wisdom, or something remotely enlightening or even mildly humorous, my apologies. I just have not been feeling the mojo of late. Been out of sorts for some reason. I think I'm getting too much sleep. I know, sounds odd, but I am at the point, after almost 10 years of being here and on the air by 6 am almost everyday, that I seem to function better on about 4 hours of sleep. And I love to sleep, so that really sucks. But, see, just now I had a thought that seemed worth putting down on the screen, but it slipped away. And I can't get it back. ARGH! Plus, I can't get rid of this damn phlemg! |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 25,June,2004 | It never ceases to amaze me how unproductive I can be when I set my mind to it. I've worked a lot this week, but I still feel like I haven't accomplished a thing. And now it's the weekend, where you aren't supposed to accomplish anything. I should be going to visit my parents and brothers in Borger, but don't feel like I can get away this weekend. Plus, our two youngest aren't feeling well. Hopefully they are feeling better this morning. Haven't heard from the better half yet this morning, which should be a good sign. Hope it means they haven't gotten up and woke her up yet. So, do 2 year olds normally puzzle out things? I'm referring to our 2 year old, Mr. Furious, who yesterday for 2 hours tried everything he could think of to circumvent my rule that he not get in our swimming pool as he is too short to not drown without help. He drug every chair, toys, rock, you name it, to the edge of the above ground pool and tried to climb in. I'd get rid of one thing, he'd look around until he found something else. And you could just see the wheels spinning in his little pointed head. It amazes me. Plus, I think he's a mutant. I've never seen a 2 year old that could pick up a 32 inch TV, but if he could get his arms around it, the little turd would lift it up. The only thing keeping him from doing it is that one fact, his arms are just too short to get around the TV enough for leverage. He can lift either end with no problem. Amazing. |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 22,June,2004 | http://www.herald-sun.com/votebook/citizenship/citstart.html Here is the URL for the test. It's fun to see how you would fair. After the one test I took where I got the question about the mayor of Durham, I took it a few more times and eventually got a question about who is the Governor of North Carolina..I didn't chbeck, but my guess is the Herald-Sun is in NC, and probably in Durham...Duh, huh? |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 21,June,2004 | So the terrorists in Saudi Arabia have beheaded another American. How do we handle this? How do we stop this? For years, I have said the way to stop planes being hijacked was the next time some group of terrorists hijacked a plane, we blow it up. Yes, that would also kill all the passengers on board, but do you think any more hijackers would be lining up any time soon to hijack a plane? Not all the terrorists are in such a hurry to go see allah as the ones on 9/11. So, back to the question of how to handle the current crisis of Americans being kidnapped, and then beheaded when demands aren't met to release captive al-Quida members. First of all, don't suggest, REQUIRE that all Americans in Saudi leave the country. Secondly, what we should do THIS MINUTE is take every captive that the terrorists were demaning be released before they beheaded Paul Johnson and behead them. They are making the rules, maybe it's time we started to play by them. |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 01,July,2004 | So the price for the life of a 2 week old girl is now 14 years, eh? If you haven't heard, the individual that crashed his semi into he back of a car near Elida last August, killing the 2 week old daughter of the couple inside, was sentenced to 14 years in prison. He admitted having been drinking and fled the scene of the accident on foot. HE KILLED A 2 WEEK OLD GIRL AND HE ONLY GOT 14 YEARS IN PRISON! No wonder our justice system has become such a joke... |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 30,June,2004 | Went last night to the midnight premiere of Spider-Man 2. I have been looking forward to the release ever since I heard the date. My wife actually accused me of being more excited about the release of the movie than I was about getting married. Not true, but I was excited and looking forward to it. Then, as it got closer to midnight, I started to get apprehensive about going to see it. What if I don't like it? What if it doesn't live up to the hype? Sequels are NEVER as good as the first movie. Well, in this case, it is. It was worth not getting to bed until nearly 3 and having to be at work at 6. Doctor Octopus was very cool. It didn't seem to me that there was as much fight action between Spider-Man and Doc Ock as there was with the Green Goblin in the first one, and I'm not sure if that was an effort to focus more on Peter Parker, or because the Doc Ock special FX were more expensive. It was cool none the less. So, who is the villian going to be in the thrid installment, which they have already announced will be made? Will it be Harry as the new Green Goblin? Maybe he'll be Hobgoblin. Or, could it be The Lizard, since they introduced Dr. Connors in this one? Or perhaps Man-Wolf, John Jameson, the son of J. Jonah Jameson, who stole the show again in his scenes, which thankfully there were more of this time. Guess we'll have to wait 2 years to find out, as I hear it is a VERY closely guarded secret. HMMM, maybe they'll use Venom... On another note, who's running the property formally known as Lucky Dog here? Is it the city? I ask because as I was driving in to work this morning at 6, after the good rain we got last night, the sprinklers were on full blast all over the property. So much for the Stage 1 water restrictions the city and the water company want us to adhere to... |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 09,July,2004 | Something bothers me about the 14 year old that killed his father, stepmother, and stepsister on Sam Donaldson's ranch near Hondo. Something other than the fact he killed someone, other than the fact he killed his father. It bothers me that a 14 year old, abused or not, thinks that is an acceptable way to handle the situation. Our culture of violence has taught kids it's okay to handle a situation like that in this manner. And it also bothers me that everyone seems to know the boy was being abused, and either didn't or couldn't do anything about it. And now they all seem to be of the opinion that it is ok he killed his own father, as well as his stepmother and stepsister, because he was abused. Does that make it ok to kill your own father? To kill anyone? I don't know, but it bothers me that we seem to think automatically that it does. |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 08,July,2004 | Haven't posted anything in a week, and it's because not much has happened, I guess. But since I have this blog, I feel the overwhelming need to post SOMETHING, no matter how boring. Actually, last Friday was pretty exciting. We had a great day on our rock station selling gas for an hour for only 98 cents. It was a madhouse, which is exactly what we wanted. Got a lot of attention, although we didn't get the newspaper coverage we had hoped for. Oh well, can't have everything. |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 15,July,2004 | Someone please explain to me how someone can become so far gone as to set their 3 children on fire, along with their mother and themselves? If you didn't hear, a guy in Seattle poured gas on himself and his ex-girlfriend and their 3 children, ages 6 months, 1 1/2 and 2 1/2, as they were driving down the road. The car then crashed and he jumped out, on fire, and started firing guns. He and the kids died at the scene, the woman lived for 8 hours and was able to tell authorites what happened. She had recently filed assault charges against the man. I have 4 children, ages 10, 8, 2, and 6 months. I can't even fathom a situation where I would intentionally do something like that to them. They are the most important things in my life. Anyone who tried to harm them I would kill with no hesitation and no remorse. How could I possibly injure or kill them? I could never be that far gone. Or evil. I realize the Bible says all sin is the same in God's eyes, and hell is as hot for one soul as another, but being human, I can't help but hope their is a little hotter corner of hell for this person, and people like him. And I pray the children were asleep and never knew what happened, just woke up in Heaven. |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 14,July,2004 | I'm not even sure where to begin, because nothing of really extreme significance has occured, yet a lot of significant things have happened. Had my 2 year old's birthday party finally last night, almost a month after his birthday. We had a party for him on his birthday up at the lake, but this was the big cookout bash birthday party that all the friends and more family got to come to. It was hot dogs for about 25 people. And a huge Spider-Man birthday cake. My wife was leary of getting such a big cake, and then was very glad she talked herself into it. Had a Spider-Man pinada too, one that was the head and shoulders of Spidey. The kids didn't so much break it open as they decapitated poor ol' Spidey, and when that happened my son went into hysterics. Didn't handle seeing his hero decapitated too well. But after he realized Spider-Man was full of candy, he was better about it. We also found out that he's now tall enough to stand in our swimming pool and not be below water. I don't know if that is good or bad. I say that because on one hand it's good...if he manages to get outside and into the pool by himself(which he is very capable of doing), then he shouldn't drown...the bad thing is it takes away his fear of the pool, which has been the only thing keeping him from climbing into the pool by himself. If he does that, even though he can stand up and have his head well out of the water, if he slips and goes under, he might panic only being 2 and not realize all he has to do is stand up. Sometimes, fear is a good thing. He has none what so ever. My 2 year old has a lot of 'Hey, y'all, watch this' in his future, I am afraid. |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 29,July,2004 | First, starting Monday morning I will begin doing a tried and true radio thang, called 'Pick It or Flick It'. You know what I'm talking about, I'm sure. At 8 every morning I will play a new song that we have not added to our normal song rotation, and give listeners a chance to call in or post a comment on here as to their opinion, should we pick it or flick it, meaning should we keep playing it or toss it. Hope you'll participate. Second, I have noticed a song that has been a pretty big pop and rock hit, the Los Lonely Boys' 'Heaven', is at #18 on the CMT Top 20 Countdown. And now I have started getting requests for it. Have you heard the song, and do you think we should play it? Post a comment on here, or call me at 762-8200. |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 26,July,2004 | I am so proud of myself...for the second day in a row, my show this morning was completely live! Now, you say to yourself, 'Self, what does he mean? I listen to him and he sounds alive, usually. Occassionally he sounds a bit comatose, but not dead. So what does he mean by live?' Well, here comes the dirty little secret part... we have a computer that allows us to record ourselves and plug it into the music, hopefully making it sound like we are here when we are actually not. We could be on the other side of the globe, for that matter. Better than almost every other station in the market, though. Except for one other station in Clovis and Portales, other than our 2 stations(KKYC-FM and KICA-FM), all the stations here are on satellite from either Dallas or Denver AT LEAST 21 hours a day. Some are on a satellite fed service 24 hours a day. So we are the exception, and are truly your local hometown stations. That being typed, however, let me continue to let the cat out of the proverbial bag. What you hear on our 2 stations after 9 am is usually recorded. Example, I usually start recording what you hear me say beginning about 8:30 that morning. Hopefully, you think it sounds like I am really there. My shift from 4 to 7 every Monday through Friday on KICA-FM(98.3, rock, should you care to tune in) is 99.9% recorded. I usually 'track it out', as we say in the biz, around 3:30. But the last 2 mornings, I have felt compelled to do my entire shift from 6 to 10 on KKYC-FM(102.3, country, should you care to tune in) live, without recording a thing. Almost like the old days of radio, except I didn't have to actually change records or CD's, the computer still played all the music. But you know what, it was a blast to do the whole thing live. I think I might start doing it everyday, as long as I don't have something I have to go take care of that necessitates me having to leave the studio or building for an extended period. God, I miss live radio.... |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 26,July,2004 | Well, I certainly hope you guys missed me, otherwise, why the hell did I come back from vacation? Went to Conchas Lake and did some fishing for a few days, and caught a whopping 2 perch that could have been twins. Make that triplets, because my oldest son and my nephew caught the third one right on the surface with our net. My 2 year old caught his first fish(with some help from dad and his cousin), a baby catfish that, even though it was a baby, outweighed both my perch put together. And I did have a pretty good sized bass that I at least got to the surface before he spit the hook out, and he went one way and the hook and worm went the other way. Oh well, had fun and family time, and that is really what it was all about. And not catching any fish meant I didn't have to clean any fish, which is always a good thing. Anyway, and this is totally unsolicited, if you ever go to Conchas, I highly recommend you stay at Adobe Lodge. It used to be housing for the Corps of Engineers when they were building the dam, and now someone has bought it and turned the duplexes into lodges. Very, very nice. Very close to the North marina and a great view of the lake. Check them out. Two thumbs WAY up! |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 06,August,2004 | The Pick It or Flick It for your TGIF is: Montgomery Gentry--'You Do Your Thing' Exercise your democratic right and vote! Pick it, or flick it, what shall it be? |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 05,August,2004 | As promised, here is the URL for the Site For Sore Eyes from Friday morning, the one about the health site: www.ivillage.com/diet/tools/healthcalc/ enjoy! |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 05,August,2004 | Thursday the Pick It or Flick It is: Los Lonely Boys--'Heaven' Post a comment, let me know what you think... |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 04,August,2004 | Once again, your old friend Joe Daniels displays his amazing cognitive abilities...All along I have been saying I don't think Kobe Bryant is guilty of rape. Stupidity, yes. Felony stupidity. But rape? Don't think so. Why? First of all, he's KOBE BRYANT! He has women lined up around the street to do anything he wants anytime he wants anyhow he wants. He doesn't have to rape someone. Secondly, everything about this from day one has smacked of the 'victim' filing a civil lawsuit eventually. Well, guess what, my friends...it came out today that the 'victim' is going to talk to the prosecutor in the case about dropping the charges because she is afraid details about her sex life might keep the trial from being fair. In other words, it might prejudice the jury AGAINST HER . And wouldn't that screw up her civil lawsuit which, oh by the way, she said she might file now. Now before I get strung up for being insensitive, let me say that a woman's sexual history doesn't mean she can't be a victim of rape. A woman can be raped whether she is a nun or a hooker, and it is no less horrible a crime because of her history. However, for a woman to allege rape when none occurred is equally apalling. No matter what the outcome of all this, whether the charges are now dropped, whether it goes to trial and Kobe is acquitted, or it goes to trial and he is convicted, Kobe Bryant will never be the same. Now, could I be wrong about his guilt? Of course, but I don't think I am... but if I am, I hope his celebrity does not get him off and I hope he does the max. |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 03,August,2004 | Today's Pick It or Flick It: Toby Keith--'Stays In Mexico' What do you say, folks? |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 03,August,2004 | Today it's: Billy McKnight--'All American' What do you think? Let the people be heard.... |
3,367,100 | male | 39 | Communications-Media | Libra | 02,August,2004 | Monday morning's Pick It or Flick It: John Michael Montgomery--Goes Good With Beer What do you think? Pick It... or Flick It? |
3,698,079 | female | 14 | indUnk | Aquarius | 21,June,2004 | Around 1:00 my mom picked me up from work and took me to my dance class. It started at 1:30 and ended at 3:00. I had fun I got 2 work with my old dance teacher from my prevous years at dance. After dance was over nate called my house twice. When i got home i checked the phone and saw it that he called twice. So after i checked i called his dads house back and we talked about and hour long. I had a good conversation with him. Know its 4:30 and i'm talking 2 people on the net and listening 2 music. I might go by sam's later but idk. |
3,698,079 | female | 14 | indUnk | Aquarius | 21,June,2004 | Around 1:00 my mom picked me up from work and took me to my dance class. It started at 1:30 and ended at 3:00. I had fun I got 2 work with my old dance teacher from my prevous years at dance. After dance was over nate called my house twice. When i got home i checked the phone and saw it that he called twice. So after i checked i called his dads house back and we talked about and hour long. I had a good conversation with him. Know its 4:30 and i'm talking 2 people on the net and listening 2 music. I might go by sam's later but idk. |
3,698,079 | female | 14 | indUnk | Aquarius | 21,June,2004 | Around 1:00 my mom picked me up from work and took me to my dance class. It started at 1:30 and ended at 3:00. I had fun I got 2 work with my old dance teacher from my prevous years at dance. After dance was over nate called my house twice. When i got home i checked the phone and saw it that he called twice. So after i checked i called his dads house back and we talked about and hour long. I had a good conversation with him. Know its 4:30 and i'm talking 2 people on the net and listening 2 music. I might go by sam's later but idk. |
3,698,079 | female | 14 | indUnk | Aquarius | 21,June,2004 | Today i have 2 go 2 work but i don't want 2. After work i have 2 go 2 dance practice. Then after that i'm going 2 my friend sam's house and i don't know what we r gonna do. We might go 2 another of her boyfriends baseball games. If we go 2 her boyfriends game her mom will bring me home after the game but i would rather sleepover at sam's house. If i dont sleepover at sam's i'll call my boyfriend when i get home. But hopefully he will call me 2day but idk. |
3,698,079 | female | 14 | indUnk | Aquarius | 21,June,2004 | Today i went running at 6:00 in the morning. When i got home i got dressed for work. Then at 8:45 i left for work. When i got 2 work i worked for 4 hours. I left at 1:00 2 go 2 my dance lesson. The dance lesson started at 1:30 and ended at 3:00. When i got home i checked the phone 2 see who called and my boyfriend nate called twice. So i called him back. We talked for an hour. I went on the net after and talked 2 friends. |
3,297,343 | female | 23 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 22,May,2004 | I'm so sad right now. It's sad that I feel the way I do. I shouldn't be this upset over a person. Letting this feeling ruin my mood and my evening. But it's happening. I don't know if this is real or my mind and my heart are distorting my actual feelings to make it seem like I should be feeling this bad or that I actual love him this much. I just wish he would just take me back so we can be happy. I know I can make him happy. If only he knew. I feel like such a loser, it doesn't even make sense. Someone should get a gun and put me out of my misery because I am making a fucking mockery out of my self not to mention embarrassing my self. God. Love Sucks! It just grabs a hold of you and jerks you all around and then throws you on the ground and leaves you there all bruised and bloody. Not to mention hurting and confused. But its so wonderful while it lasts right!? Sure whatever. Yakima |
3,297,343 | female | 23 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 13,May,2004 | I am so in love. It is ridiculous. I'm sure that he loves me too, but I don't know if he loves me with the intensity that I love him. Shit I'm thinking of him throughout the day. Talking about him constantly. It seems to come from out of no where. Natay this, Natay that. I know people get tired of it. I do too. It only makes my fall harder and stay deeper in the feelings I cannot seem to control. I just want to be with him forever. It sucks, because when it doesn't happen I am going to be sooooo hurt. Man, I can almost feel it just thinking about it. Why can't I just have him. I don't know if I can't, but I don't know if I can either. This not knowing sure sucks. I don't like it. What did he do to make me fall for him so. He is just wonderful. He's beautiful. He has a beautiful person. He's so true and so honest. How many guys out there are this good. There probably are a lot, but how much rubbish do you have to crawl through to find them. Too much. I just want to keep him. It makes me feel so dreamy and so longing and the same time thinking about it. I think I'd be so happy if I could be with him forever. We have so much fun together. Laughing, talking playing, smiling. We just genuinely have a great time in each other's company. Love, it is something funny isn't it. The emotions it takes you through. But it can feel so good. Just being in love. Man I want to see him right now. I can wait until I see him this weekend. I'm like a kid getting ready to go to Disney land for the first time. May the lord bless me with sweet dreams tonight. |
3,297,343 | female | 23 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 10,May,2004 | God I miss my ex so much. We broke up about a month ago. He broke up with me. He says he has a lot on his mind and he doesn't know what direction his life is taking and he doesn't want to hold me back. Hold me back from what? From who? He's who I want to be with. Does he really mean he doesn't want to hold himself back? He says that he's not even sure he wants to settle down for good. He doesn't know if I'm the last girl he wants to date. Oh. Okay. Now I'm sitting here missing him. The wierd thing is at first it didn't even seem like we had broken up because we still did all the same things. But now that I've moved out, we're not together all the time anymore. So now the reality of it is setting in. We're not together. I love him so much. All I can do is shake my head, sigh and hope for the best. |
3,835,942 | male | 25 | indUnk | Taurus | 04,July,2004 | Last weekend was a memorable one for me! I have been to the street at George V near Arc De Triomphe to buy a camera looking for a SONY showroom. It’s verisimilar to the Brigade Road in Bangalore but its very long and very wide with wide platforms. When I reached here I was thinking that people here are too cold like the weather here. But the walk down that street made me re-think! People are screaming! But maybe that’s not real happiness, but at least you get a feel of how it would look like! On both the sides of the street there are big automobile showrooms of every international carmakers! Wherever you go you see the orderliness of the buildings and the meticulous plan of the city that makes transport so easy and trouble-free unlike our Indian roadways and railways which are quite confusing! You just have a map of Paris with the routes of RERs, Metros and SNCFs (various types of trains) and voila! you can go anywhere without troubling anybody. Cool! Then at last in a showroom in La Defense I saw a camera that was good and I bought it. The next day I’ve been to 'Musee de Louvre' and 'Tour Eiffel'. Just to behold the building of the museum, which they say was used by Napoleon Bonaparte, is wonderful. It’s too huge. The museum is divided into 4 main buildings with 2 stages. After spending some 6 hours inside, I could cover only half of it! The sculptures and the paintings have a lasting influence, which makes them eternal. The Greek and Italian sculptures of the well-built kings and soldiers made me feel very puny! There is one feeling that runs and that connects all these pieces in the museum together. BEAUTY. Exquisite, exemplary beauty in all its splendours. No inhibitions whatsoever. The artists just seem to express themselves. The sculptures and paintings make you think that artists love nudity for its revealing beauty of the human body. Felt proud of having one of those myself! Common people seem to abuse this! When I saw those paintings, I really wondered how the society would have tortured those artists, those amazing gods of eternality, for they might not have been 'productive' by its standards! Surely many of them would have died of starvation for the world accepts a genius only after it slays him! Felt really strange! Every one of those paintings and sculptures tell you a story , even though the explanation given by the placards placed in front of them speaks French! I understand and cry as a salute to those gods! There was a rush to see the Monalisa painting .For once, you feel that all ways in the museum lead to that painting! But when I saw that, I couldn’t quite understand what’s so great about it, thanks to my appalling ignorance of art! That too the lady looks as if she has not slept properly posing for the picture! In spite of my ignorance, I saw many other paintings that captured my attention and ate my memory card of the camera! Next I've been to the Eiffel tower, just to have a look at it. Thought that it would not be so interesting and would be dull to behold. But as usual I was proved grossly wrong! What a massive structure and what imagination! Indeed people who love beauty seem not to think of logic, reasoning and purpose. But I think that even though it looks like that prima facie, its not so. Beauty is in itself a purpose! Create things which are beautiful and you have given them a meaning for them to exist! When I get closer and closer to the tower, I slowly realized the size. I felt really fearful when I was at its foot. Beauty and mass mixes up to produce fear?! Quite strange! For every 10 minutes of an hour they switch on the lights, which randomly sparkle all over the tower and which simply cannot be captured by a still camera! Nor do I think that any kind of recording can capture the feeling. I stopped clicking and just stood at the foot and looked up and it’s a dream! Forget everything and look at it! You feel at once lost and above anything else! People here seem to pay a lot of attention to beauty, love and experience. THEY LIVE! Merci. |
3,835,942 | male | 25 | indUnk | Taurus | 04,July,2004 | As if I command the sunrise and sunset, I planned to visit all over the 2nd and 3rd arrondissements of the city of paris! So I took the map which I had bought earlier and noted down the important landmarks in those areas.It read like this: 1.Notre Dame Church, 2.Beauborg district (a book said that it’s the most picturesque place in Paris), 3.Ile de la Cite, 4.Quartier Latin, 5.Top of the Eiffel Tower, 6.Ile Saint-Louis. This seems to be a short list! When I reached Notre Dame Church it was already 1pm, since I woke up very late! Notre Dame church is an architectural feat! And it has been carved in the early 14th century. When I was in there , I could not realize the historic importance of that building. If you do not know a bit of history of Paris and its monuments, its of almost no use visiting them except for their picturesque beauty! It has witnessed great historic moments like the crowning of King Napolean to the most recent one like the visit of King Narayan I ! I have always wondered why does a human being require an institution like religion and more strangely an institution like marriage! Its quite perplexing if I go looking for an answer! It seems to me a pre-historic question which should not be pondered upon in the post-modern 21st century where its taken for granted by majority that these institutions are indispensable part of a human life! Quite strange! But in spite of having not an answer for this question , I realize Notre Dame church epitomizes the importance given to a religion by the kings and the commons, verisimilar to the attention that the temples in south India had received. Before getting into the church I circumambulated around the building to record its beauty. It has intricate carvings with a lot of detail. Outside the church there's a wonderful garden. Before again reaching the entrance to get into the church, I went into a small gift shop and bought some souvenirs which were quite cheap by money but pretty rich with meaning. I don’t buy things like this very often. I consider them junk .But this time they had some meaning to be transferred! Then I went into the church. There was some prayer going on. The hall looked gloomy and tall with lot of arches on the roof. Nothing much to see inside. The carvings, a placard said were done in mid-14th century! It had those colourful stained-glass paintings. I got bored inside. Things like these look pretty outside, but internally they stink with rotten meaninglessness! When I came out of the church it was 4pm and I had to buy vegetables and other cookeries at Gare Du Nord and had to visit the top of the eiffel tower. I had to ditch the idea of visiting all other places since that shopping will take a couple of hours and I should be there at the top before sunset to capture the view both at daylight and artificial lights. I went to the Eiffel tower. There was a huge rush and I thought it would take a couple of hours to even get the ticket and then ditched that idea too and went to Gare du Nord, bought some vegetables and returned to the room. But amidst these I roamed around the Beauborg district , before going to Eiffel tower. As far as I have seen Paris and that place, its certainly not the most picturesque one! Bastille seems to be a very good place, with peaceful gardens, to live at. When I was walking along these streets I saw an old woman who looked like some 40 years old. She was almost half-naked and with a lot of facial make-up. At the first sight I thought she was waiting for somebody, just like anybody else and my pace of walk was quite normal. Then within another furlong, I saw another woman in the same state. Another one...another one...Now I realised who they were!! Some were young too! I had a lot of money in my pocket. There's nobody in that part of the world who would recognize my identity. All alone in that atmosphere! I could do it if I want! Then a strange fear crept inside my mind. I cannot explain to myself why I felt like that. Freedom and fear, I thought are quite opposite. But here I experienced both these seemingly mutually exclusive emotions at once. That increased my pace of walk. I got out of that place as soon as I can! Even now I feel that pace! There was another incident which affected me this day. When I was metro-ing towards Eiffel Tower I guess, there came a violinist-beggar inside the cabin where I was sitting. By now, I am used to these metro-beggars who play some music and ask for money and the kind of body-build and the faces and eyes they possess. Opposite to me there sat a man whose eyes cannot concentrate on a place for long. His hair was disheveled and his eyes rotund. He was holding a new tome in his hand. I could read from his face that he doesn’t have what it takes to read a book! He opened the book and started reading. Within a second he flipped through the pages and looked at me who was staring at him! He kept on flipping the book like that as if he lost his golden ring somewhere in between the pages! My guess was right! He cannot read a book. In the meanwhile the violinist had been playing his tune. His eyes looked quite strange. There was no sign of begging. He was adroit with that instrument. But this is not unusual since he might have played the same piece of music a thousand times before. His face impressed me. He looked like a normal guy who might as well be working as a software engineer! I felt from his eyes that he could take up my job and he would do better than myself and definitely I cannot play that violin like that! He ended his play. Took out a ticket pocket that we have for having our photo and the monthly pass and used it to collect the coins that people gave him. The train stopped at the station where I had to get down. I took an euro and gave it to him! I still cant believe that I dropped an euro to a beggar. I had never dropped a coin to a beggar even in India! If you have read and digested Ayn Rand, a beggar cannot impress you. And if you are impressed by one, he cannot be a beggar! I was sure that he didn’t want money just to exist but to live. So I decided so. He too got down in the same station and I asked him to pose for a photo. He did and eagerly looked at the image I had captured in the camera. He said 'merci' and walked away without turning back. I took the map to read about the next train I had to take. I could not read it. My throat was choked with a heavy heart.I sat in the nearby bench and tears started oozing out of my eyes.I somehow controlled them so that they do not wet my sweater! It took me some time to get back to normal. There is something really wrong with either that fellow or the society in which he lives. The day ended with these many things worth recording! The next day I decided to take a walk along the banks of river seine. This river is seen as the reason for the birth of this historic city. I hoped that the sceneries would be good to capture. Unusually, I was not dismayed. I started at the station of Gare de Lyon and from there started walking along the banks. Surely the panoramic views with the bridges, the Notre Dame church and the Eiffel Tower far away, is a sight that one should not miss. It was so beautiful. I could not believe in that heavenly beauty. What a fantastic scene! I tried my level best to capture them in my camera. Along the banks of the river are the church and the Concierge building and Musee de Orsay museum and if we cut a little bit farther from the banks then and there we can see good monuments (of whose identity I am unaware) and pillars and statues. I came to the church and thought of getting inside again! There are a lot of second-hand book sellers along this bank near the church who also sell paintings and covers of old magazines and posters of historic importance. There were a lot of books, but very few in English. I saw a couple of pictures of Einstein with his quotes: 'Imagination is more important than Knowledge' 'If you have trouble with your Mathematics, do not worry. I have greater ones with mine!' Coincidentally, the day the 14th of March was Einstein's birthday. I thought he is right. A man can live a life without knowledge. Its no sin. But if he is living without imagination and artistic expression then he's no more a human being. I thought, 'Knowledge is Present. Imagination is Future'. Just before the entrance I saw a man who was inviting people to be drawn as caricatures of themselves. I thought its a good idea to have a caricature of myself drawn. After a bit of argument that guy settled for 10 euros.Surprisingly, I said ,'Go Ahead'! I sat before him for some 10 minutes. He asked me to look at the side to get a good view of my facial features. I could see the picture he was drawing in his glasses! 'Where are you from? London?', he asked! 'India'. 'What are you doing? Student?' 'Software Engineer'. I felt a bit strange. When I look myself in the mirror I cannot believe that I am a software engineer. The notion of a student is, I think, better suits me and well deserved, because I have a lot to learn. He finished it and it was not what I wanted. I said thanks to him. Took a picture of him. While walking back to home , I tore away the picture and deleted his photo from my camera, since I didn’t like the thing! I cursed myself for wasting 10 euros just like that. I thought I would like a portrait of myself rather than a caricature which follows the whim of the artist. While taking a walk inside the church, looking for anything that I had missed the last day. The same boring religious drawings and paintings! But still the church from outside is worth looking at! After walking along the banks for a few hours, I returned to my room to re-fuel myself. Then I went to the Eiffel Tower to go to the top of it. I thought there would be a mad rush since its Sunday and I was there around 5pm so that I could watch Paris from the top of it. To my surprise there were few people. In another half-an-hour I went to the top. I am an acrophobic and I was alone! I thought that anyway even children are there and there would be enough safety measures. There were and I didn’t feel any fear at the top. I discovered that my fear is not the height itself, but in climbing the height. Since it was inside a lift with lot of people , I didn’t feel the fear. But I could not take the stairs due to that fear! At the top of the Eiffel tower, the view although not as beautiful as anything as looked at from the ground, it was a good one. Nothing special about Paris. I thought if Bangalore had an Eiffel Tower then it might look as good too! The only thing worth capturing from that height is the flow of the river Seine. I waited for skyline to get dark. Unfortunately it was a cloudy day and I could not see the sunset properly. It was really chill and very windy at the top. But I was there for around 3 hours just to see Paris, the city of lights, lit. It drizzled a little too! After it got dark completely, and when the whole city was lit, it was a good sight to behold. But its very difficult to capture those details in a camera. But I tried. And in that chill breeze, even though I was wearing woolen gloves, my fingers were trembling and the pictures I was taking, shaking! I would go to a calm place there, warm myself, take a picture and then go back! I cannot forget the couples who kept on kissing each other standing at the zenith of the tower. I wondered why do they come to the top of the tower and try this stunt in this unbearable weather. They could very well do that in the warmth of their bedrooms with much more savour! I am kind of getting really annoyed of these French kisses. Indeed, couples who travel in metros do not waste their time. They keep kissing , happily ignoring the public. I kind of like that care-free attitude. To watch a beautiful couple kiss each other at such close quarters, as inside a lift, within a feet away from you, is a sight to be savoured every second! A note of a trip to Paris is not complete if it doesn’t talk about the French kisses, I guess! So now I have done that! After taking enough of pictures, I came down. So this weekend ended this way! I think slowly the Paris-fever is running down! |
3,835,942 | male | 25 | indUnk | Taurus | 04,July,2004 | The weekdays rolled on too fast to me that at the end of it I realized that the weekend was not planned properly. I just thought I would visit the 'village' Paris. This week was a bit boring. The theme of 'village' Paris included the area stretching from Montmatre to Batignolles and the museums Musee de la vie Romantique and Musee de la Eroticisme. I was wondering what would be a 'funiculaire' train. At the foot of the Butte Montmartre, there's this train which could take us to the top of it where the church of Sacre-Couer sat. Its a kind of a coach on rollers on an inclined plane. I took the stairs anyway, not wanting to part with my euros. The church was beautiful. The weather was very cloudy. From the top of the hill, I had a good panoramic view of a part of Paris equivalent to what I saw from the second stage of Tour Eiffel. Lots and lots of tourists. Most of them were speaking English. Maybe one of the reasons why the guy who drew a caricature of mine asked if I am from London! I went inside the church just to see if there's anything worth seeing! To my dismay, nothing. All of the glory of any monument here, seems to be interwoven with its history. Without that its just another good piece of a building. After the prayer was over, it was good to see people shaking hands with whoever sat around them for the prayer. I was surprised to see a placard in Tamil asking the devotees for donation towards the water and electricity of the church. Thought that there are many Tamilians around there to visit the church. Maybe SriLankans, as there are plenty of them in Gare Du Nord. There were a couple of street-musicians as usual there too. Beside the church, there’s 'Place du Tertre' where were a gathering of artists who drew everything from caricatures to portraits to landscapes. Different types of them too. Indeed to watch them paint and to see their finished work was really fantastic and awe-inspiring. One artist told me that he needed 50 euros to draw a portrait of mine. I withdrew. But the prices vary greatly depending on the type you need. For sometime I thought of getting a portrait of mine done. But I thought its too costly. To go to the museums, the map said that I had to get down the hill and walk a bit further. When I got down the hill where the narrow street led to a wide road across, a big building stared at me with its huge neon sign reading 'sexodrome'! I was taken aback a bit. An English lady screamed to her husband, 'how the hell did we reach this hell of a place? the sex place!!'. Both sides of the road were full of sex shops hosting live shows, peep shows.... Quite a strange sight for me who has only seen streets dedicated to jewellery, garments and the like! I realized that I am in Pigalle. The street was demarcated by the two metro stations Pigalle and Blanche. Took a slow walk along the walkway to see the shops. The pictures that were displayed outside the shops, glaring at the passersby were quite obscene- the kind of pictures that are banned even in cyber cafes in India! Pornography is quite public here! I thought that people who live here, can come to this place, perform the sin, go up the hill to the church and confess it and go back home purified! Quite a smart way to live indeed! Along the road was the Musee de la Eroticisme! It was a small building. I entered it and saw that the entree[sic] fee was 7 euros. I looked around. The room was full of lewd statues and porno. Surely, I don’t want to spend my money here! Then while walking down the street, a woman who was wooing the pedestrians into a shop, came running and said 'Excuse me, Sir' and began to pour out words in French. I didn’t turn back to her fearing that that might be taken as a sign of approval! I almost started running! Its quite a disgusting place. I thought that I should not buy sex. Instead I should earn it. If I earn it, then it means that it comes with love and it'll take me to heaven. If I buy it, it'll become an indelible thorn of steel in my heart and given the kind of character I am, it would surely kill me! Its so fatal. So I'll better remain away from this. But the problem is, I always think that I am not smart enough to 'earn' it. There's a great probability that I'll be a failure in this regard. Its very rare to come across people who earn their sex. The majority satisfy their appetite either by buying it or begging for it or settling for something cheap. I do not want to do anything of these. And when I think of Love, I realize that its so elusive that those who seek it will not find it. The choice is not ours but Her's! The 'Moulin Rouge' which was glorified by the eponymous Hollywood flick, starring Nicole Kidman, is in this street. I went to the street again the next day night to take a picture of that windmill placed on that mall, lit. While taking the picture and returning back too, I was accosted by a man who showed a shining card and pointed to a narrow street nearby and said 'there are beautiful girls there, sir?'. Instead of running away, this time I paused and said, 'No.Thanks'! After all, he too is a human being and in a sense, we both are beggars! The boredom which I go through is making me one! Getting quite repugnant of the place and thinking of seeing those artists again at the top, I went to Place du Tertre and then to the church. There I sat at the steps. I was sweating due to the uphill climb and I took off the jacket and felt the chill air on my warm wet skin. At this moment, I couldn’t quite grasp why, I felt really completely lonely. The old feeling of boredom which used to kill me while I was in Bangalore got its grip again on me! I felt tired and bored of the whole thing! Paris has failed to remove this sense of boredom from me. Then I started pondering about my favourite, unanswerable, ever-mysterious question of my career. Till now, I could not find what would enthuse me. It seems that my mind is altogether inconsonant with whatever I experience, be it anywhere, anytime! I desperately want to find something which resonates with my mind. Or else its better to die, than going through this boredom and loneliness and the feeling of worthlessness. I am sure that with this sense of detachment to anything I cannot achieve anything in my life and am already a failure. But somehow this fact doesn’t seem to bother me. I always think that its perfectly fine to be a failure. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I cannot find what I really want out of my life. Everything still looks meaningless, even though they are beautiful! After resting outside the church, I got up with no specific place in my mind and roamed around the streets of Montmartre, which they say had inspired even some of the great thinkers who frequented the place. Quite a good place. Calm and serene. The narrow streets, typical of a village, without any tourist noise are good to be in. Later in the evening I went to the village of Belleville just to see what’s there. But when I got out of the metro station onto the roads, the first impression of that place and the smell of it wasn’t good. To forget that hangover, I went to the 'timeless' Paris again, where I've been last week, to take a picture of Pont Neuf across river Seine lit in the night. As I expected, that place had a magic touch! I felt good again. Took some pictures and returned to my room. Since I was bored this day I thought going of nowhere the morrow and went to sleep! While returning to my room, in the metro, I saw a person who can neither be called a boy nor a man. Somewhere in between, like me. I liked his countenance. Lots of hair, clean cut of his nose and a 2-day old beard. He was reading a book and when I saw it I envied him! It was Victor Hugo's Les Contemplations. I felt like learning French to read Victor Hugo, Voltaire , Rene Descartes and the like - the kind of men who are keeping me alive and who make me realize that there’s nothing to get bored and there’s a universe to learn and contemplate upon. Its a never-ending quest! I only wish to ask them, 'THEN WHAT?'! I couldn’t sleep beyond broad daylight at 7:30AM.And again got bored of the room! So I went to Musee de la vie Romantique and Jardin du Luxembourg. The museum, unlike what the name suggests, was not at all romantic! In fact I found boring portraits of the Rouart family of artists and a not at all beautiful woman artist called George Sand and the materials they used and even their hair sample! I wrote in the visitor's book 'Nothing romantic about this!'. Got really pissed off. At times, while strolling around this paradise, I feel a bit of wonder to think that I am at the opposite side of the world , so far from India, wearing the same jeans and T-shirt which I wore in Bangalore. And I feel a bit of sadness when I realise that I had to return! Dreams only last until you realize that they are dreams! Now the dream has ceased to be. I expected the garden of Luxembourg to be huge and beautiful. But it was pretty small, even though beautiful. Spent some time there and then went to Gare du Nord as usual to buy cookeries with my roommates Amarnath and Srinand and returned to the room. |
3,835,942 | male | 25 | indUnk | Taurus | 04,July,2004 | Last weekend turned out to be another memorable weekend for me. I thought that I have exhausted Paris and there's nothing more to see in it. I am grateful for Marc, who explained about the places to see in Paris and made me realize that I had barely seen Paris and there's a lot to be discovered and who guided to me to a bookstore in La Defense where I bought a guide. I had to start my sight-seeing almost from the scratch to be comprehensive. So this week my plan was to cover: 1.Ile de la Cite 2.The Marais 3.Beauborg and Les Halles 4.Tuileries Quarter. But I couldn’t go to the last one for want of time. It seems that every week I had to start with a church! So now it was St.Chapelle. The church, even though not as huge as Notre Dame, was quite impressive in its architecture. It had two chapels on 2 stages. The lower one was meant for the commons and the upper one seems to have been used by the kings. The lower chapel wasn’t quite attractive except for its roof which had many arches and was in a bright blue colour. A narrow circular staircase led to the upper chapel. Wow! It was so colourful and full of stained-glass paintings. But the tourists who were quite large in number made a hell lot of noise and the building reverberated it to my annoyance! I tried to take a good picture of the rose-window which depicts the scenes from old and new testaments. But my camera's zoom wasn’t good enough. One of the faces of the apostles there attracted me a lot with the calm in its face, carved so beautifully! You have to believe in something or the other to attain that calm or else you'll be pushed into eternal chaos and void. I would like to have a hairstyle and beard like that. If not for the damn tourists' noise I would have sat there for much more time. Felt that the environment was very good to sit and contemplate on something. The marche aux fleurs et oiseaux (market of flowers and birds) was quite a treat for the eyes. It seems that the island was once famous for its flower markets and this is one of the very few left! There was a shop beside this for decorative items. The items were so beautiful that I wanted to build a house just to host them there! Then I went through Rue de Arcole which was full of souvenir shops to reach Notre Dame church. There were a few places there which I had missed earlier. Those are the point zero mark - from where all the distances within France are measured and crypte archeologique underneath which there are relics which are almost 2000 years old.I was looking for the statues of Gargoyles (chimeras) when I had been there before and found them now atop the walls of Notre Dame. Again my camera zoom was not powerful enough to capture them in close-up. The woman who was in charge of the public toilet of Notre Dame church affected me a bit. She had quite a pleasant smile on her face always and she looked like an Indian. She was guiding the people to a free-cabin in the toilet. I thought nobody could have a passion for such a job and still she manages a smile. Every street in Paris has a historic lusture. I was amazed to see a street sign on Rue de Francois-Bourgeois which pointed to 3 museums in 3 directions. Thought that one day or the other the residents of Paris will be evacuated for want of place for hosting the museums. So many of them. I cannot forget Musee Picasso for the rest of my life for the impact it had had on me. I was quite half-hearted when I paid and entered the museum. But slowly I began to realize the genius of Picasso. It was so intense that it could pierce my ignorance of art. Mind-blowing imagination. Until then, my perspective of art and painting was that its just drawing portraits and landscapes and caricatures and theres no intelligence or analytical thinking involved in it. But many of the paintings that I could comprehend made me realize that I was egregious to an abysmal extent. At first many of the paintings are quite inscrutable. I read the placards placed in front of each of the rooms explaining the importance of the exhibits and the phase of life of Picasso in which he drew them. Combined with a bit of imagination and absurdity, slowly I could decipher a few of them and those had a profound impact on me. What if I could understand everything? I would go mad! I used to think that only symmetry in objects and paintings would be beautiful. For once and forever I realized total incongruity can also be beautiful insofar as they depict the concept handled by the artist and the depth of it. I could see that at the start as an artist he too was drawing normal pictures and as he aged he paintings involved more and more abstraction. And also the subjects of the paintings like bull-fight, war, romance, sex, illness, death et al reflect the agony of their creator. And it was quite interesting to know that his wife ran away from him. Not surprising. They say that theres a woman behind every man's success. They forgot to add that he has to overcome that woman too to attain that success! They turn the simple task of life to an herculean one! I was very much affected by a bronze piece of skull sculpted by him which reminded me of my mother's skull. Its still fresh in my memory and would be there till my head turns to one. The works which depicted illness, death, gruel war with dark and dull colours and which depict the frailty and ephemerality of life invoked sadness in me. Death is a subject which I am grappling with for quite sometime now and its unfathomable and quite disquieting! I believe that instead of trying to understand life by attacking it directly, I might get some light if I approach it by trying to comprehend its absence, death. They are two sides of the same coin. One inevitably leads to the other! After going through most of his works and a bit of his biography I was wondering how could this world understand his complex conceptual works and allow him to rise to prominence. He is a genius inasmuch as he found a language to express his emotions. I was very much amused to see a group of little girls debating which leg belonged to which face in a painting and an elderly girl trying to guide them and make them realize the picture. I am ashamed of my ignorance of art. Another part of the museum had his sculptures. They were works of a creative genius in Picasso. I've read about the bull-head created with a bicycle-seat and handlebar. To see that and to see many others like a goat's stomach made of a waste basket and a child in a trolley made out of iron pipes and pots was quite intriguing. It takes a genius to bring simplicity in chaos. This is exactly my state of mind - utter chaos and I am afraid I do not have the intelligence to discern the simple and eternal concepts behind them which runs this universe. One more reason why I was annoyed with myself is my ignorance of the meaning of colours. If only I had that knowledge, I could fathom much more of Picasso. My heart and mind was full with pleasure when I came out of the museum for the only reason that I had discovered another language of expression. Quite a treat! Then I went to the garden in Places des Vosges. Its beautiful with the surrounding buildings. There were lots of children playing there. And there were a group of violinists playing at a corner. There was a rush to hear to them. I envied those children very much. There's so much of art, music, poetry around and surely many of them would grow up as artists, poets, philosophers and musicians. No seed in a child would die of starvation of imagination and expression. Its a very appealing ambience. In 6,Places des Vosges is Maison de (house of) Victor Hugo. There were a lot of paintings of his and the manuscripts and old posters of his shows were on exhibit inside. I didn’t know that he could paint. Everybody seems to have some knowledge of art and music. Its very bad that I didn’t study them. But many of the paintings depicted poverty and illness and other somber subjects. I didn’t quite like them. I would have appreciated if he had depicted glory and heroism. I equate him to those qualities. But it felt good to visit that house where its said that he wrote most part of Les Miserables. The whole of the next day I spent in the beauborg district with most of the time in Musee National d'Art Moderne in the Pompidou centre. I started my tour at the Pompidou centre. Its strikingly different than any other building I would ever see. In short its a building built inside out. All kinds of pipes, elevators, escalators are outside the building! The pipes outside the building were coloured distinctively to symbolize their function like ventilation, water, air-conditioning, electricity etc. The escalator which takes us to all the floors was set up across the facade of the building which was quite an attraction. At first, I was not interested in the modern art museum. But I could go to the top of the building only if I take a ticket to the museum! So I dropped the idea of going there to the top to take pictures. The centre hosts a cinema complex - playing kind of art pictures. And from 19March to 17April its Bollywood special! They were playing chaiyya chaiyya song in a TV and then I heard the Hindi version of a song from the Tamil film Kandukondein Kandukondein! In the library there dedicated to art and industrial design I was amazed to see a book on Indian films with Simran on its cover. And there was a book on photography which was dedicated to human genitals! Really crazy! Beauborg district is very small but its very beautiful. Last time I've been to the wrong part of it and thats why I felt that it wasnt the most picturesque. Place Igor Stravinsky, very near to the pompidou centre, has a lot of so-called modern fountains which were quite funny to look at. They seemed not to have been maintained well. Many werent working properly. But the place looked colourful. Besides this place, there's St.Merry church. I went inside to see the old 13th century pulpit. The church was quite small. Many churches here have the look of Notre Dame. Then I went to Fountain des Innocents and Forum les Halles. Forum les Halles is quite intriguing in that it has a garden at the ground floor and a big shopping complex, cinema complex , swimming pool, gymnasium in the floors below the garden! The building which surrounded the garden was pretty to look at. After going to all these places, I entered into the Pompidou centre again.Got the ticket for the museum and went to the top!But I was dismayed to see that I could not get out of the closed glass escalators to the terrace or anywhere to take clear pictures.I could only take pictures from inside that glass tube!Then I went to the modern art museum!It turned out to be another lesson for me, like Musee Picasso. Many paintings were quite indiscernible. The paintings were like scribblings of a kindergarten kid hung in the name of contemporary art! It was quite funny. But I was bemused very much with the works of artists called Cesar, Sigmar Polke(for Pasadena), Andy Warhol (for Electric Chair), Jean Pierre Raynaud(for Container Zero), Opalka (for Details).I could not quite understand container zero and pasadena. I noted all these names and works for investigating a bit on them! I myself felt strange. Many works which involved optical illusion and compression mechanics were also intriguing. Roman Opalka's details is a bit weird. The painting is nothing but a series of numbers. But the importance of it comes from the meaning given to it. Opalka seems to have wanted to do something that would only die with him and uptill then keep on evolving! So he decided to write numbers on a board. He started from 1 and I do not know where he ended. Only part of his work was on display. I could see numbers like 3309916, 5131330 and so on. When he finished one board of numbers he would take a photograph of himself. I think the total work includes a dozen boards. The colour of the board gets lighter and lighter starting from gray. The numbers are in white. So as he gets older, it becomes more and more difficult to read the numbers. What a crazy idea! I was wondering how much he should have been affected by death and the finiteness of life to make him take up this kind of a work. Another artist that I should mention is Yaacov Agam. His is a fantastic idea. He hated the static nature of art and succeeded in bringing dynamism in it by involving time and motion. They call it kinetic art. A room was dedicated to one of his works. In a room, 3 sides , the floor and the ceiling contain some strange patterns. One side is ofcourse open for us to see! For once I was lost. I thought this is another one that I could not understand even a bit. But the silver ball placed at the centre of the room explained everything and the genius of Yaacov. I saw patterns of circles and diamonds and various other shapes. As you walk from one end of the face of the room to another you see the pattern changing! What a genius! What kind of painstaking imagination! Superb! That was indeed my favourite. But my body got tired and hungry and I had to leave the centre to my room! So this week turned out to be a week that awakened me towards art.Picasso and Yaacov Agam have lit the light! There are abundant languages to express oneself. And I think the best and perfect among them is SILENCE. |
3,835,942 | male | 25 | indUnk | Taurus | 04,July,2004 | This weekend I didnt spend much time outside and from the few places I went, the predominant theme seemed to be, my pet pondering, Death. I started at Place de la Concorde.Its a majestic square.Only one side of it has a building and all the other sides are open.There were two fountains in the middle with 8 statues each symbolising the french cities.The star attaraction of the square is the 3200 year old (!!!) Luxor Obelisk.With the Eiffel tower not far behind, it adds to the scenic seduction, I should say. Very near is Jardin des Tuileries.A beautiful garden.Its better than the one in Luxembourg quarter.Here I was accosted by a boy who had a similar build like mine but far younger than me. 'Excuse me,Sir.Do you know English?'. I thought he's going to ask me the way to somewhere for which I had a prepared answer, 'Sorry.I am a foreigner!'. But he asked me to read a card,which read,'I am staying with my mother and brother here.We are from...(I forgot!).My father died in Bosnia.We are starving.Please give me some money'. These were not the exact words,but the meaning is intact. I read and looked at his face. 'Sorry!' and smiled.I still do not know why I smiled then! These kind of acquaintances, although very short, kindles my mind very much and makes me ask seemingly silly questions for which I have no answers and I had to decide that I went by instinct rather than reason, which is very sub-standard for a rational being. After enjoying the garden, I proceeded to Palais Royal and the surrounding garden. Nothing very attractive. To go to the palace, I had to go through Rue de Rivoli. At the middle of it is the statue of Joan of Arc. It reminded me of the movie with Milla Jovovich as the protaganist. I liked her figure and the way she portrayed the character. Fantastic. Rue de Rivoli is magnificent and imperial. You suddenly forget that you are in a very modern city and feel like being in a period where an emperor rules the country. This is not the only place where I get that feeling, since Paris is painstakingly maintaining her countenance. They don’t allow buildings to soar so that all the monuments and other historically precious places are prominent in the skyline. That’s why when I look Paris from the top of any tower or a monument, I get a feel of being in 18th century with all its kingly glory. The road has a lot of shops and I went into a few of them, just to see what’s in there and how the shopkeeper looks like! The second part of my day was spent in the Latin quarter. I think they are the prettiest streets of Paris in the evening with lots of boutiques and restaurants. It was very busy. Then I landed in the place of the day, the Pantheon. The facade looks like the pantheon of greece. I pitied the poverty of the imagination of its architect. But its supposed to be an architectural feat. All I could reason for that feat is its difficult to place 2 huge domes on top of one another with lot of room in between and support them with only 4 pillars which form the end-points of the 4 aisles, with the plan of the building looking like a cross with a circle at the intersection of the cross. They call this kind of mix of Greek and Gothic architecture as neo-classical style! It means that its neither new nor classic. Its a confusion. But the facade with this greek Pantheon-like pillars and the peristyle of the lower dome , looked royal. The space inside is vast.The place is the necropolis of the great french personlities. The names I could recognize where Saint Genevieve(the patron saint of Paris, who (she) is said to have saved Paris once from an attack of some barbarians),Victor Hugo, Voltaire, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Marie & Pierre Curie .I couldn’t go to the main place called the Crypt, which hosts the tombs below the chancel, for I had arrived there lately. In the middle of the space, at the intersection of the four transepts, is suspended the Foucault pendulum, right from the centre of the dome. I have to study what its all about! The walls had a lot of big backed pictures and pendentives. The spiral staircases took me, with lot of other tourists, to the peristyle, to have a panoramic view of Paris.I asked to take a picture of mine with the Eiffel tower far behind, in the colonnade, to the lady who guided us to the top. I gave her clear instructions on how the picture should come and where I and the tower should feature. She invariably messed it up! Somehow cameras or the photographers screw up my photos. All the passport photos which I had ever taken, except for the one in my Nortel ID here, have suffered this. Every photographer and camera seem to conspire against my face! So I ditched her and gave the camera to a tall guy and gave the same instructions. To my surprise, he took it almost as I wanted. I was happy. 'Where are you from?', he asked. 'India. Bangalore'. 'I am from Mexico'. Then I heard the guide cry something in french. I thought he is explaining something and ignored it and was immersed in a bit of day-dreaming. After a couple of minutes, when I realized where I was, there were nobody around. When I looked down, all the other tourists had went down. I could see them on the terrace down there. There was a door open. Then I came around the place to see if anybody else is there. When I reached that door again to go down. It was locked. For a moment I feared being left there. I started yelling 'hello' towards the stairs hoping that somebody would hear me. No reply for a couple of minutes. I pushed the button which was besides the door thinking that its some kind of an alarm. No reply for that too. Then I turned back. All the tourists were still standing there staring at me yelling. One of them shouted that the guide is on her way. I felt relieved. Then I roamed around the latin quarter streets for sometime. Her I came across a treasure trove! Shakespeare & Co! At last I have found a book shop which sells good English books! It was very old. I forgot that the guide book had mentioned about this. There was an odd-tempered very old man owning the shop. The shop too looks pretty old. Theres a reference library in the first floor of the shop. Earlier I had seen one more bookshop in that quarter. But the books were all of those not so meaningful subjects like engineering and technology and science. But this one dealt only with those soulful, and hence comparatively although not completely meaningful subjects like philosophy, literature and art! I bought Les Miserables. When I came out of the shop it started drizzling and I returned to my room. The next day I roamed around Montparnasse. Hell lot of theatres. Every street atleast has a couple of cinema theatres. And some sex boutiques too. Should look lively in the night. I saw Tour Montparnasse, which was, when it was built, one of Europe's tallest towers. This, I guess is the only skyscraper in the heart of Paris. All others are in the outskirts like La Defense. I didn’t go up the tower for it would have set me back by 8 euros! The next place in my plan was to visit Cimetiere du Montparnasse (The cemetery of ...), one of Paris's biggest cemeteries. It hosts the tombs of many french prominent personalities across all the fields. I went to see the one of the famous existentialist couple, Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir, the couple I most envy. They dominated the 19th century philosophic and literary scene of France. I took a couple of small stones from their tomb as memento mori! Some names I would recognize there were Guy de Maupassant and Henri Poincare. I wondered at the man's thirst to be remembered even after death when I saw some strangely designed tombs. I wanted to see the whole of the cemetery but I had to go to Catacombs by 2PM and so I rushed through it. For the first time, the map in my guide showed a wrong pointer to a place. Because of that I have to disturb some localites there to arrive at the place of Catacombs. This is a very special place! Napolean, once wanted to clear all the cemeteries in Paris and clean up the city. So he dug up all those and stored all the remains of dead bodies under some 3 'mont's of Paris. One of those is Montparnasse and the place where he put all of the remains is called Catacombs. I had to go down a seemingly unending spiral staircase to go to the underground storage place. Once my head started rolling and I had to stop for a moment to regain myself! At the entrance there's a warning asking weak-hearted and weak-bodied people not to take the journey! Then I had to walk some 2 kms underground to arrive at the storage place. The walkway was very narrow and fearful, if alone. Thousands and thousands of skulls and bones. Wow! what a sight to see! Good that I didn’t miss this. For the next 2 kilometres of the maze-like dark alleys which were dimly lit, wherever you turn you see the skulls staring at you. I was petrified at the collection! In some places the underground water was seeping through the roof, making the walk even more difficult. For the next hour or so all I saw were those skulls, the emblem of Death. This is one of those places where I want to go again for I forgot to take a picture of myself with full of skulls and bones in the background. It would have been a marvelous photo. Then again to come up to the city, I had to enervatingly climb those stairs. I was a lot relieved to see sunlight and brightness! And I was a kilometre or further from where I entered and I had to search my way back. I was satisfied with the treat of these places and ended my weekend stroll! Mother Death, it seems, is waiting for me to get matured to reveal herself! Till then I'll enjoy the fun and freedom of being immature. |
3,835,942 | male | 25 | indUnk | Taurus | 04,July,2004 | With thoughtful books to read, With soulful music to hear, With beautiful places to stroll, With intellectual art and sculpture to tickle my mind, Paris is a paradise! Sitting at the banks of River Seine, Wear Lucky Ali on your ears, Hold the little finger of Victor Hugo and ask him to walk you through his woods of ideas and now you know how heaven would feel like! Wanting a change from monuments, churches and museums, I started my weekend with Bois de Bologne. Its a huge garden. Its the remains of a forest which was beside Paris which is well tended now. The atmosphere was absolutely serene, far away from the din and bustle of the traffic and noise of any tourists. Its the best an ultra-cosmopolitan city can do to take its citizens close to nature. There were many people seen around. They had come with their kids and pets and were having their time. You should be an idiot of a bachelor, like me, to go to such a heavenly place, alone without a girlfriend! There were ponds in between with calm water with birds and ducks and pigeons. I roamed around for some time to drink the beauty and then settled in a calm shady place. I was disturbed by that calmness! To face silence has become difficult for me, for I have to face myself and my stupid questions. Men cant easily live in silence and solitude for they dread to be denuded by that one-word interrogation upon oneself which they have no guts or patience to face. So many prefer to inundate themselves into noise for that reason and die without ever attempting to answer that eternal query. In the park, I could see a couple of young beautiful girls jogging, a married (hopefully!) couple, an old lady walking with a middle-aged man; maybe her son. How many roles do women play in a man's life from birth to death, I wondered! And I always wonder about the inherent duality of nature. Why should there be men and women? Why did not human beings choose to be asexual? And why should I allow this duality to screw up my life?! But without this duality, I realise that this world which has progressed from molecules to men, would have remained inert and be impotent of any reaction and procreation. Conflict is indispensable for creating harmony. But I don’t understand why should there be any progress or procreation in the first place. Why should there be something? Why not nothing? Isn’t that calmer? Isn’t that more peaceful? Isn’t that beauty? Why should I exist and experience chaos? I dont know. I am clueless. But all I can fathom is Chance and Change are twin directors of life and Love its producer! And I, the actor. How colourful it is, even though meaningless! There were a lot of children playing around in the garden. I envied them a lot, as I did in Places des Vosges. I felt that this is quite a good environment for children to be brought up. India is not a good place for children to grow up and get educated. Not only that the educational system is hopelessly marred by the mud-headed politicians, but there's a complete dearth of role-models to look up to for kids; dearth of soaring of human spirit, dearth of order, dearth of discipline, dearth of planning and perfection. Children should definitely not be educated in such a place. Their mind would become crippled with the narrowness of their vision. The fundamental and primary objective of a teacher is to show the ideal and then to teach how to go and attain it. But this happens rarely in Indian schools. No teacher is worth his salt. I have come across only three of the breed of good teachers in my school life, who deserve some respect. India is against the grain to impart soulful knowledge. All it can achieve is to produce meaningless software engineers like me! The calm of Bois de Bologne disturbed me a lot and I walked back to my room, not wanting to disturb myself further and in the evening I walked along Champs-Elyssees with amar and srinand, looking for a compact flash card for my camera and to enquire about the prices of cellphones for suneetha. Musee Rodin hosts the works of the master sculptor Auguste Rodin. Its placed in one of the 'finest town houses of Paris'. The 'Gates of Hell' welcomed me. Its a very famous work of Rodin and I wondered how the hell he put all these pieces of bronze together. The house had a marvellous and big garden around it were the masterpieces of Rodin are kept. I couldn’t understand why the other sculptures were regarded as anything wonderful, thanks to my blissful ignorance. Le Penseur (The Thinker) attracted me a lot, if not for any of its scuplting brilliance which I am incognizant of, for its simplicity and profound meaning.At the first sight it reminded me of Rene Descartes's 'Cogito ergo sum'.He is an exemplary thinker, who set out to build an entire philosophical system from scratch, not believing in any misleading logic, but his own reasoning. I was quite stunned to look at a photograph of him, for he shattered my pet ideas of physiognomy. To put his idea succinctly, denuding the benumbing abstraction of philosophical parlance, he proved that the existence of self is beyond doubt and we exist because we think. He looked a bit ugly outwards(!) as opposed to Rodin who looks like a sage. All this came to my mind with that piece of scultpture. Its powerful. And its so fitting that Rodin's tomb is below this statue. Inside the house, there are numerous works of Rodin. I liked those erotic statues very much, for their expression. There are only a handful of emotions experienced by human beings that are so severe that however refined is the form of art used to express them, it would never be complete. Sex is one of them. Sex is sublime. That exalted state can be experienced, I believe, if I can check my sixth sense. That’s the reason, I guess, that every sculptor, painter and musician tries his hand at it, to gauge his mastery, against the infinite! When I see the statues nude and get out of the picture to see myself and all others dressed up and standing there, I feel odd. It’s not the statues which look odd but its our dress! Its as if I dress to conceal my weak body with a frail frame. The statues make me feel ashamed. In the afternoon, I had been to Tombeau de Napolean and Musee de l'Armee. The tomb (crypt)of the great emperor Napoleon I is kept inside a dome church. The church is quite majestic to look at. Did I read somewhere that it took 27 years to build that dome? What were they doing sitting on that rotunda for so long!!? But the gold gilded dome with a cross at its zenith, with sun shining as best as He can through the clouds above Paris, it looks splendidly effulgent. Felt like entering the gates of Heaven after having seen the gates of hell at Musee Rodin! When I entered and beheld that massive dome from inside and the beautiful altar of a crucified guy called Jesus Christ, I felt that its quite a fitting place for that emperor's soul to rest in peace if at all it chooses so! Its quite amusing to note that he rose from obscurity to become a glorious emperor. He was extremely brilliant and is considered one of the greatest military commanders in history. He is also one of the father's of Paris's beauty. If not for anything else I would remember him for being a part in sculpting such a beautiful city. Its a myth that he was short. He was 5'6.5' tall, average height, but half an inch short of mine! This character inspired me to proceed further into Musee de l'Armee where there are exhibits of things used by the Napoleon dynasty and is quite comprehensive. It’s considered one of the best and wide collection in the world of the materials used in a war. When I entered the museum I was still revelling in that erotic mood which Rodin has managed to create! But suddenly to switch the context from Love to War was difficult! It was quite a complete switch nevertheless, I should say. The museum educated me of the complexities involved in a war with all its exhibits of swords, daggers, pistols, guns, plaques, flags, epaulettes, uniforms, water-cans(!), heavy metal suits, iron masks, ornaments, bonnets, keys and various symbols used by the infantries and regiments. I was stunned by the administrative genius of Napoleon I.I was awe-struck when I came out of the floor. Sheer power. I felt very very puny before that emperor. He is what I call a Man. I felt sad that he was caught as a prisoner of war by England and was sent in exile to St.Helena on southern atlantic and died there. His remains were brought back here by King Louis XIV and was deposited in the Dome church. It was a bit ironic and saddening to see the set up of the prison room in which his soul departed with the bed and chairs originally used by him. He lived only for 52 years on this earth and see the legend he has left behind for us! It was good to see that the seal of Napoleon I was N which is the first letter of Narayan, the King, too. There was another floor dedicated to Napoleon III where I saw a rifle. The moment I saw it, I thought there should be something wrong with its design and it should have been very awkward to handle it. If I had been a soldier I would not have used such a rifle for anything. Its not good enough to kill in a swift way. Amazingly my suspicion was proved right by the plaque that read that it was an ill-designed lounge-rifle, with long bayonet (which was the root cause of my doubt!) at the end of the barrel, which was approved by the king and could not be used extensively and hence failed! So I observed that Napoleon III was not as good as his predecessors. Such is the incompetence that dynasty-rule produces. After this I got a bit pensive about the efficiency of the rulers in the systems of democracy and aristocracy. Terrorists do not jump from the skies onto the earth. They are the illustrious sons of democracy whose major achievement is producing incompetent and dumb-headed leaders who only know how to manipulate the sentiment of the majority to their whims. Democracy, in short is the mother of incompetence and corruption. Decisions at any level, from the individual to the government should not be taken by the majority. Majority of the decisions taken by the majority are hopelessly ignorant. Decisions and power should only reside with intellectuals and philosophers. All others, for the sake of good, should submit. In the evening I didn’t go anywhere. Amar and Srinand taught me how to roller-skate in an open space in La Defense. I had a good time! After 1 hour of practice, I know how to stand up on my own with the roller-skates on! I had a lot of times deliberately avoided many things for the fear of success. I don’t fear failure that much for I am the personification of it! Then when I returned to my room I got a bit moody about success and failure. Nobody succeeds unless and until he is aware of his success. And nobody fails unless and until he is aware of his failure. And if he is not aware of his failure, he loses the capacity to transmogrify a failure into a success. I bet that every man who had succeeded, in whatever way you define success, has failed marvelously. If he loves success, there has been umpteen moments when he has faced failure with love, for neither success nor failure is what he exactly loves, but the endeavour towards it. Its the journey that matters and bring true ecstasy, not the destination. Here again I cant stop repining about my state. Even though I realize all the above, my problem is that I am not able to define my journey and make my sleeping spirit wake up and walk through it. Where there's no definite and conscious journey, all the so-called successes and failures fail to impress the soul. It starves. Journey is the soul of life. Destination is only as good as the body to the soul. As if I am standing uncontrollably on a roller-skates, which for the first time I wear on my feet and find it extremely difficult to get up and balance myself and almost impossible to thrust myself forward in a chosen direction, I am being pushed by the strong wind of chances which has any influence only upon those who have no sense of direction and is absolutely harmless for those who know where they are going, into the gates of hell. I feel that I am very near to those gates. But I can see that heaven is not far away but the next door!. Still I cant change my direction for I am stuck with the roller-skates on my foot which I had been wearing all along in my life, which is commonly called Ignorance. I feel like screaming to my throats capacity, for it would give me a ray of hope that somebody in heaven would heed me and take me under their wings. Hope! Unreasonably hope! 'You bastard, hope!', I tell to myself. The next day I've been to a place where I long wanted to go after coming to Paris. Its Espace Montmartre which hosts the museum of the great surrealist Salvador Dali. Dali is considered as a genius in the art of surrealism. His strange mustache will itself tell you his character! The first work which welcomed me was a famous Dalinian symbol of a fluid watch, which consists of a watch draped over a branch of tree. This flowing fluid image of a clock is the masterpiece of Dali which he exploits to the maximum extent. Its seen repeated in many more works of his. Dali's time is not precise, not rigid and it dances to our thoughts. Its subjective and an extension of human perception. He preaches, through his works, that man must learn to strike a balance between time and life, to maximize the gift of life. There was a sculpture which depicted the nobility of time, with a woman symbolizing desire, reality and this material world and with an angel which is a simile for the deeply religious nature of a human being. In between these 2 there stands the Dali clock to preach that inspite of the other two feelings which drive man in his daily life, time reigns, with a crown on its head. There were many more sculptures like 'Space Elephant' which were amusing. He uses egg to symbolize the intra-uterine life and re-birth. That’s a good idea! I was able to appreciate even some of his paintings, thanks to the placards that were in English beside each sculpture and painting. He paints and tells stories in his own surrealistic way. He has painted Bible, Alice in Wonderland to name a few. When I was climbing up to reach the entrance, after I was done, I saw many poses of him with some questions and answers which were interesting. I could remember these: What is ugliness? Disorder. What is beauty? Harmony. Why do you wear (such a strange!) mustache? In order to pass unobserved! What is surrealism? Surrealism is myself. Do you think that a painter of your style belongs in our atomic era? Certainly. I personally indulge in atomic explosions. After this I roamed around the beautiful Montmartre area in the streets back to the Sacre-Couer church. Then returned to my room and wonder about this subject of surrealism, which has always been with me, so beautifully portrayed by Dali. I thought that if his works are called and celebrated as works of a genius, I could produce thousands of ideas like those. After all I am a surrealist of myself! N. (Inspired by Emperor Napoleon I and the '.' signifies that King Narayan is an end in himself!) |
3,835,942 | male | 25 | indUnk | Taurus | 04,July,2004 | Thanks to Nellai(Nellaiappan Soundarrajan) for lending me his laptop to record my thoughts over the weekend.I missed gvim, for Windows always expects her users to be pretty dumb! I would love to live and die in Paris for it treats me so well, even though I have no ideals to live upto or die for. I was in Rue Mechain to start my weekend for the sake of Vidya, my teammate and friend.The administrative headquarters of the school in which she studied, the St.Joseph de cluny in Malleshwaram,Bangalore, is located here in Paris and she wanted me to get some photos of it. The street was barren and it was drizzling a lot. I thought it would be a holiday and thought of taking some pictures of the street and the door of the building and return. Also since I could roam around only in the weekends, it would be difficult to come in the weekdays and satisfy her wish. After taking a couple of snaps I went near the door. It had no numeric keypad which most of the doors in the houses of Paris have, but a button to press. I hoped it was a calling bell. I heard a couple of rings on pressing it. No response. Slowly I pushed the door to see that it was opened. A receptionist welcomed me. I explained her the purpose of my being there. She asked me to wait for sometime and went away to fetch a sister. There was no school inside as opposed to my belief. But it was a mother house and it hosted a church. While waiting for the sister, another sister turned up in that room and before I could grasp her face completely, she thrust a T-shirt into my hand and said, 'Have it' and went away without waiting for any answer as if I am there to receive whatever they give! I didn’t want to act rudely there. So I kept the T-shirt, for I should hand it over to Vidya, who was the root cause for it! The sister whom I am supposed to wait for turned up and took me to a small meeting room. After my introduction, I came to know that her name was sister Violet and she is basically a Tamilian, whose family is in Bangalore and who is in Paris for 6 years now! She started conversing in Tamil. She took me to all the gardens and the church inside .She started with a tree whose seed was sown by the founder of the institution, St.Anne-Mary XYZ, which was almost 200 years old. Beside the church is the crypt (the tomb) of the founder. She said that in the box kept there, the heart of the lady is preserved! Then she showed me the office buildings and the sisters' residence. Then when we were walking along a garden, as if she could connect two different things, she asked, 'Do you know to solve computer problems?'. She didn’t know that she is asking a guy who has slogged in a call-center like a night-watchman troubleshooting PC problems! But that necessarily doesn’t mean that she would be as dumb as some of those US customers! 'Yes.' 'Then I have a problem with my PC. Will you solve it?' 'Sure.' The stroll came to an abrupt end and she took me to her room where the PC was.From whatever she explained I understood that PC doesnt play audio.Its 5 years old and all along it has been like that with the dumb speakers staring at her and the poor lady has been watching her movies in another sister's room!She had tried calling up the technical support for no avail.They had replied that the essential software is already installed!Then she gave all the CDs that has been supplied with the PC.Here in Paris, she explained that even if you buy a PC, nobody comes to your house to install it or troubleshoot it.She had set the system up herself following the instructions given in the manual.Good job, I thought.After fumbling around for half an hour, I could install the right device driver for her sound card and made it work.She played a Tamil movie DVD and shouted, 'Thank You.Thank You.', on hearing the sound. 'Do you eat pork, beef and things like that?'. I was taken aback a bit. 'No. I am a vegetarian. But I'll take egg too'. Then she took me to a dining room. And gave me cooked carrot, cauliflower, mashed potato and some bread and cheese. She made some coffee too. In the midst she brought some prawn pickle and told me so. 'What is it?!' 'Fish. Vegetarians eat fish. Dont they?' 'Sorry. I don’t take it'. 'How come you do you eat these bland things with not much taste?'. I kept mum. I thought curd rice is enough to keep me going. After conversing a bit she said, 'Am happy to see you.', with absolutely no sign of it in her face. All along, until this statement I was comfortable. But the way she delivered it injected a feeling of uneasiness in me and I wanted to move out of the place as soon as possible. I hate people whose heart and tongue do not express the same. She came until the main road and showed me the way to the nearest metro station. By now I had grown very uncomfortable about her and the place. I walked fast without turning back. Religion is a dead body. For me, a perfect religion is dynamic. Nobody can come out with frozen rules and regulations for a dynamic entity. Does it sound like Heisenberg's uncertainty principle on the motion of electrons? My religion should be shaped every minute according to the tune of my soul by myself. Only I know how it dances. That is religion with life, for it evolves with me. Once I freeze it and write down stringent rules to be followed, the soul runs away as fast as He can and leaves the dead frozen body in my hands, useful for nothing and which would stink like hell. The stinking body would only attract vultures to it! Vultures do not have the necessary competence to catch their own live prey. They wait for something to be dropped down as useless, to pounce upon. I can see these rapacious vultures in contemporary religious leaders. Musee Grevin is equivalent to Madame Tussaud's of London, hosting wax statues. The entrance to it had long set of mirrors which faced each other at an angle to produce infinite number of reflections. I realized that the entrance fee was 13 euros and walked back. Not worth it for somebody who converts euros into rupees before spending! In that area of Fauborg Montmartre, there are ancient shopping complexes. They date back to 1800's! Every shop is unique. There were a lot of cafe restaurants in which much of romance was going on. I thought this is the place where I want to be, for it has life and expression. I felt relieved a bit. There were shops for philately, vintage photographic devices, books from gay sex to history of France, figurines of every character that you can imagine for kids. The place had a Paris touch, which always leaves a pleasant feeling behind. Inside one of those shopping complexes and on Rue de Fauborg Montmartre I spotted a couple of chocolate shops, handmade chocolates. The smell out of those shops made my mouth water! They were so rich. But still I couldnt quite get out of the bitterness of that mother-house. So I consulted the map and among the few choices I had, chose the farthest one! It was Parc de la Villette. The guide said it hosted a science and technology complex. Thought that the place would be interesting, but not as quite as art or sculpture. But when I was done for the day, I was equally satisfied! Its personally a healthy sign that science and technology can impress me as much as art! It was a big complex with various centers like Explora which hosted the permanent and temporary science exhibitions, Cite des Enfants which is a children's science village, centers for shows and films, forums and conferences. I chose to go to 'The Geode', one of the theatres there playing short-movies, which Marc had told me would be good. It was, indeed. The geode is a sphere. And hence the screen of the theatre is a spherical surface, which is the speciality, as we see in planetariums. But the films that are screened seem to be special documentaries. Each film lasts for an hour. I have to choose one among the 5 films; 'L'Inde' Tigre' whose hero is the bengal tiger and which is inspired by Jim Corbett who pioneered the Indian wildlife conservation, 'Adrenaline' which studies sky-diving, 'Station Spatiale' which is the story of the world's first international space station or otherwise an orbiting research lab and the people who built it, 'La legende de l'etalon noir' which is about the friendship between a lonely girl in a desert and a young black stallion, 'SolarMax' which depicts the humankind's struggle to understand the Sun. I could quickly narrow down to the last two.And the phrase 'struggle to understand' which prettily rings along the same line as my state, decided the film. They had given me a wireless headphone for hearing English audio instead of French and hence I could decipher and enjoy the film. The film was fantastic. It was written, produced and directed by John Weiley. It explained how our forefathers studied the sunlight to mark the start of the year, about Aristotle's geo-centric universe(I was very happy to see his face), the genius of Copernicus who propounded the heliocentric solar system, Galileo Galilei who built the first ever telescope to view the objects in the sky and confirmed Copernicus's proposition, how he was shown the tools of torture by the then government of his to make him accept that he is speaking nonsense (!).Here I thought that when there's a clash between an intellectual and a society, its always the society which loses the battle in the long run, irrespective of the immediate outcome , even if the individual is killed as is the case of Socrates, for intellectuals are dynamic and society tends to be static and hence falters. The point where dynamism should necessarily succeed the static rule is seen, by commons, as a revolution, which inevitably leads to another higher state and wait for another revolution to take it further above! It takes a genius of a character like Mohandas.K.Gandhi to design and spearhead a revolution without a single drop of blood. India, if not for anything else, can be proud for having produced this prodigal son who claims to have experimented with truth when I am struggling to discern it. Art is waiting for another Picasso and science is waiting for another Einstein. This is how we climb the staircase of civilisation. The two shows in planetariums, which I had seen in India, stopped with Galileo, as if he is the most recent and modern astronomer.But the film came far ahead.It went on to explain about the sun's dark spots, study of sun's composition through spectrography which was very neatly and succintly put as based on the property of elements to absorb a unique wavelength of light to leave a unique signature in the spectrum, the way kids could easily understand, Berkelin's theory that sun spews out energy symmetrically through both of its poles and how humanity has to wait until man's first space voyage to confirm this hypothesis through videographing sun spewing out its corona, how earth is protected from sun's flares by its magnetosphere, how a couple of thousands of satellites placed around earth influence our daily life, how SOHO was built and placed a million miles from earth balancing exactly the forces of gravity due to earth and the sun to capture the sun's activity directly, how it was troubleshooted by the international NASA team for a silly mistake of their own which turned the system dead, where do we draw the frontier of science and technology now, role of the various observatories all over the world, how they form a chain to study the sun. A notice at the start of the film said that none of the images of the sun were created by computer animation, but were original images captured by various observatories around the world. I was very much satisfied with the film and its content and the way it was presented keeping in mind the level of knowledge of its audience. Brilliant. I badly wanted something to drink and for the first time in Paris, I bought something to drink, a cup of Expresso Cafe and settled on a chair there. The children I see here are pretty cute, with their rosy skin, blonde hair, tender lips, chubby jackets, faltering gait, questioning innocent deep stares. All over the world, children are the same. I feel like kissing these children on their cheeks and hugging them and playing with them and answering to their questions with utmost sincerity and successfully pass over atleast a part of my chaos to them! I want to grab all these nascent minds and make them grow as intellectuals. I was very angry then with the kind of range and method of education that the schools which I studied were able to deliver, when I wanted to learn something in my tender age and as good as now, when I was completely ignorant of my goals. I was very upset so much so that I wanted to build a school and create revolutionary concepts in imparting knowledge and which spews out nobel laureates! I would take pieces of coal as students and turn them into diamonds of immense value through the infinite energy of knowledge, by inspiring their elements to point towards one direction. I'll cultivate intelligence and harvest knowledge in the lands called their minds. I would make sure that these lands remain fertile by giving them enough nourishment from outside. I would deploy the best minds in this world to impart them the education. My school will have all the subjects ever touched upon by humanity and invent many more. Geniuses in art, sculpture, philosophy, literature, science, engineering, sports, music will be created. A student would pass out as a complete human being and a powerhouse of knowledge in his chosen field of study. The necessary and sufficient qualification for getting into my school would be the will to learn, the hunger for knowledge. And the necessary qualification to sustain oneself there, would not be the fee, but the love of his job. The system would be such that it would automatically eject out the incompetent or uninterested. Along the course of education from kindergarten to a doctorate every step, the tenure of it, the speed of it, the style of it, its composition, its breadth and depth, will be decided by the individual himself. There will be no admission based on age, race, religion, caste, previous field of study or any other bullshit. All I needed were proper motivation and inspiration. I didn’t find one worthy blackguard who could deliver these. I'll create my own Men. I have never felt at home when I was in school or college. My children who study in my school will feel completely at home, with tremendous deal of motivation and inspiration around. This will come from the kind of teachers I have deployed and they'll be envied all over the world for the kind of pay that they would receive from me. I'll make these teachers, the gods of knowledge, as a bunch of richest men in the world. My eyes were hot with anger and as if to cool themselves they oozed out tears and they ran down to cool my face too! Its a shame on me that, for the first time, I cried in public. I said to myself, 'Get up. Don’t cry in public again. And don’t dream in public again.' I immediately mopped my tears and put the coffee cup in the dustbin and walked out of the place to the room. For the day, I can’t suffer anymore. Since I am not yet 25 years old, I could visit almost all the places with 'reduit tarif'! This has saved me some euros. I had to give only 4.10 euros as against the usual rate of 6.10 to visit the Conciergerie. The conciergerie is called so, for it was the office and residence of 'the concierge'( the keeper ) of the King, who was vested with lots of power. The entrance was a huge hall complete with Gothic archs. It looked royal. It has been originally constructed as an office but later many cells were added which made it the bloodiest prison in the history of France. After the great revolution in 1792, the accused who were thousands in number including personalities from all walks of life from peasants to emperors have been guillotined here. The prisoners faced only two options once they were brought in: freedom or death. Still I could smell the suffering of those hearts there, for the authorities have managed to keep the ambience intact and replay those events through documentaries and pictures well. I could not even imagine the kind of suffering of the people who were sentenced to death would have gone through. If natural death disturbs me so much, how much these people on whom death has been imposed by heartless savages could have got disturbed? I wondered. It should have been a deadly agony for I read that some of them committed suicide with raw tools that they managed to procure there. The paintings there depicted the feelings who were guillotined en-masse in Place de la Revolution which is now the Place de la Concorde. Very somber. Man's intelligence is so paltry that nobody can ever manage to create a soul. I do not know who has any moral prerogative to put an end to one. No individual or government is qualified to bring an end to somebody's life, not even their own. Its the nadir of justice and the zenith of evil to award a judgement to a fellow human being as to end his life. Its not fair by any moral or ethical standards. I came out with a heavy heart from that erstwhile prison. Outside it was raining heavily and the weekend was marred by a pretty bad weather for sightseeing.So I returned to my room and continued my dreaming! With her long lithe legs, the lustful shape of the seat of her pants, the fatal curves of her pelvic girdle exposed neatly by her tight jeans, slender sleek waist, voluptuous bump of her bosom drawn by her skin-tight tops, shining shoulders, slender rosy fingers, svelte lines of her face, cherry red seductive lips, the lovely pink skinny cheeks, the wavy upperlip with its minute pale-brown hairs, the tip of the nose which has been made red by the blood rushing to rescue her white glowing skin against the chill wind which splits itself at that point notwithstanding the fast gait of hers, soft thick pink earlobes, the blue eyes which pierce into mine, the look of disdain as if she descends from heaven and I have dug myself up from the netherworld, the flaring forehead, the golden blonde hair which cascades down on her shoulders, the young french girl looks like an angel and disturbs me a lot. I've enjoyed seeing these features in the same fashion described atleast a few hundred times and I don’t think I'll ever get bored of it! The chill weather increases the need for warmth! I saw the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life a couple of weeks ago. Her features had a deadly perfection. She was taller than me. She had the kind of face I would love to see every night. Being so close to me physically in a metro, her face told me that she is still unsullied. I couldn’t take my eyes off her blue ones till she disappeared from my purview. Phew! It pained. I have not heard of a bachelor king. So my queen should be skulking somewhere out there. I should find her out. But how?! Lets see! Lets Hope! N. |
3,483,063 | female | 16 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 28,May,2004 | ~*Basics*~ { .001. } First Name: Jillian { .002. } Middle Name: Erin { .003. } Last Name: Love { .004. } Nickname(s): Jill, Erin, Brat, Sweetpea, Hun, Honey, Tru { .005. } Gender: Female { .006. } Age: 16 { .007. } Birthday: December 06th, 1987 { .008. } Height: About 5'11' { .009. } Hair Color: Reddish brown { .010. } Eye Color: Golden-brown { .011. } Race: Caucasian { .012. } Glasses Or Contacts: Glasses (for reading) { .013. } Do/Did You Have Braces: Never had 'em and will one day { .014. } Is Your Hair Long Or Short?: Ees Long... { .015. } Where Were You Born?: Denver, Colorado { .016. } Current Location: Englewood, Colorado { .017. } Zodiac Sign: Sagitarrius { .018. } How Many Languages Do You Know?: Three - English, Spanish, French (not fluently) { .019. } Nationality: American { .020. } Bad Habits: I bite my nails and complain about everything { .021. } Piercings You Have: Two in each ear { .022. } Piercings You Want: I'm happy with the ones I have { .023. } Tattoos You Have: None yet { .024. } Tattoos You Want: I want a butterfly on the base of my spine, right before my big booty. { .025. } Today's Date: Monday, May 3rd, 2004 { .026. } The Time: 9:43 PM - Can't sleep get about 4 hours a night { .027. } Ready For More Questions: Bring 'em! ~*Family*~ { .028. } Mother's Name: Jackie { .029. } Father's Name: Barry { .030. } Step-parent's Names: Don't have any step-parents { .031. } Brother(s)'s Name(s): Charles Shawn Patrick Love (deceased), Christopher John Nichols (no blood ties) { .032. } Sister(s)'s Name(s): Susan Renee Love (deceased), Katherine Anne Humbert (no blood ties) { .033. } Favorite Aunt: none, they can all go to hell { .034. } Favorite Uncle: Danny { .035. } Favorite Grandparent: Granpa Stewart (rest in peace) { .036. } Worst Relative: Granma Marr { .037. } Best Relative(s): Uncle Danny and Christopher (deceased cousin) { .038. } Do You Get Along With Your Parents?: My father is an asshole, and my mom and me have our days of trouble... { .039. } Does Anyone In Your Family Understand You?: Nope, not really, don't want them to. Wait... maybe Uncle Danny.... ~*Pets*~ { .040. } Do You Have Any Pets?: No, I got urlLink NEOPETS ! { .041. } What Are Their Names?: I use to have two dogs Waco and Otis { .042. } What Kind Of Animals are they?: Waco was a beagle and Otis was a mixed german shepard ~*School*~ { .043. } Are You Still In School?: Yes, rock on! { .044. } Did You Drop Out: No... thank GOD! { .045. } Current GPA, Or Last GPA You Got: Like for the whole thing or like this semester? Acamedic GPA: 3.842, class rank 23rd of 304. YAY! { .046. } Favorite Grade: 8th, cuz I got to do the continuation speech! { .047. } Least Favorite Grade: 5th { .048. } Favorite Teacher: Mr. Sano, Ms. Moses, Mr. Clubine, Mr. Dahl, Mrs. Kitchell, Mr, Barlock, Dr. Deserino... all my teachers { .049. } Least Favorite Teacher: Mr. McMillan, he's an ass... { .050. } Favorite Subject: Literature { .051. } Least Favorite Subject: Math { .052. } Do/Did You Buy Lunch Or Bring It?: Bring it { .053. } Play Any Sports On The School's Team?: Yep, girls' swimming and diving team. { .054. } Do/Did You Do Any Extracurricular Activities?: Yep, NHS and Link Leader { .055. } Are/Were You Popular?: No, not worth all the crap that they go through { .056. } Favorite Dance: Freshman year's first dance, when Sean stripped down to his tidy whitey boxers! { .057. } Favorite Memory: My sister dancing at the church, smiling and laughing { .058. } Least Favorite Dance: Sophomore year's Homecoming { .059. } Least Favorite Memory: Too many, not enough space. { .060. } Most Humiliating Moment: I wouldn't tell ya for a million bucks.... ~*Favorites*~ { .061. } Number: 21, 3, 13 { .062. } Clothing Brand: What brand? Brands are a sign of a sterotype. { .063. } Shoes: Flip flops { .064. } Saying: Get bent on something { .065. } TV Show(s): The Simpsons, CSI, Everwood, 7th Heaven, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, and loads more... { .066. } Sport(s): Football, basketball, racing, and swimming { .067. } Vegetable(s): Broccoli { .068. } Fruit(s): Cherries, pinapples, apples, anything but bananas and oranges { .069. } Movie(s): The Crow, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Crow: Salvation, Underworld, Thirteen Ghosts { .070. } Magazine: Seventeen { .071. } Actor(s): Johnny Depp, Brandon Lee (RIP), and Leo { .072. } Actress: Angelina Jolie { .073. } Candy: Chocolate { .074. } Gum: Dubble Bubble { .075. } Scent: Rose, sandelwood, and Lucky { .076. } Candy Bar: Snickers { .077. } Ice Cream Flavor: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough { .078. } Color: Pink, Purple, Blue, Black { .079. } Season: Winter and Spring { .080. } Holiday: Christmas, Halloween, Spring Equniox, Yule, El Dia de Muertos { .081. } Band: Anything { .082. } Singer: Anyone { .083. } Group: Isn't this the same as band? { .084. } Rapper: Don't care.... { .085. } Type Of Music: Everything, including country { .086. } Thing In Your Room: My bed, my stuffed animals, my computer, a bunch of junk, clothes, posters, faeries { .087. } Place To Be: Woods, River { .088. } Radio Station: KBPI 106.7 FM, KISS 95.7 FM { .089. } TV Channel(s): Fox, the WB, Noggin, Disney, Nick { .090. } Junk Food(s): CHOCOLATE!!! { .091. } Overall Food: Enchilladas { .092. } Store(s): Hot Topic, Spencers, Torrid, Walmart, Goodwill, anything really { .093. } Shoe Brand: Sketchers { .094. } Fast Food: McDonald's, or Sonics { .095. } Restaurant: The Blue Bonnet { .096. } Shape: Cresent Moon { .097. } Time Of Day: Night time { .098. } Country: America { .099. } State: Colorado { .100. } Boy's Name(s): Michael, Lee, James, Jonathan, Darien { .101. } Girl's Name(s): Serenity, Serena, Lita, Isabella, Michelle { .102. } Mall(s): Southwest Plaza { .103. } Video Game(s): Don't play video games { .104. } Shampoo: Bed Head { .105. } Board Game(s): Monoplay! { .106. } Computer Game: The Sims { .107. } Car: Mustangs! { .108. } Music Video: 'Fancy' - Reba McEntire { .109. } Swear Word: Uh, probably fuck { .110. } Word: Dude, sweetheart { .111. } Month(s): December & October { .112. } Cartoon Character: Liza Simpson { .113. } Scary Movie(s): Thirteen Ghosts, Scream I, II, III and Stephen King's It { .114. } Team: San Fransisco 49ers { .115. } Possession: My diary ~*First Thing That Comes To Mind When You Hear...*~ { .116. } Eminem: Crazy { .117. } Dog: Ex { .118. } Hot: Sex { .119. } Britney Spears: Major SLUT { .120. } N*Sync: Nice music... LANCE! { .121. } Real World: What? { .122. } Orange: no thanks { .123. } Choice: Great! { .124. } Fuck: Yeah { .125. } Bisexual: Who? { .126. } Black: Mystery { .127. } ICQ: NO! { .128. } Insane Clown Posse: Still need to hear them... { .129. } Linkin Park: Awesome { .130. } Jack: Just don't say Jill { .131. } Rainbow: Peace { .132. } Cherry: Yummy! { .133. } Cucumber: Where? { .134. } Shark: Where? Run! { .135. } Lifehouse: Who? { .136. } Bat: Baseball { .137. } Leather: Duster { .138. } Whip: Kinky { .139. } America: the Beautiful { .140. } Water: I wanna swimming { .141. } Volcano: FUN! |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 31,July,2004 | So I was watching 'The Transporter' today..and the main actRESS, is Shu Qi, a Taiwanese girl. Sometimes she's a TERRIBLE actress, and she can't speak english very well, (obviously, with her accent and everything), yet she stars in many english movies. and chinese movies..but her main language is taiwanese.duH..so when she speaks cantonese..it sounds funnie. I believe that the only reason why she IS in the movie business is because of her looks... urlLink ...why is she so PRETTY? I wish I could be as pretty as her=( |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 30,July,2004 | damn, i forgot to bring my digicam with me to take pictures of the JOYFUL adventure i had with courtney, wandering the streets of toronto...i wanted to post them on my blog.. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 28,July,2004 | omg..i'm like FREAKED OUT..there was this random guy...who i don't even know...started talking to me when i was standing from the rain after school, with ken...and he just started talking to me..he said... -hi -..hey.. -so what course are you taking? -..um.data management, i'm accelerating so that convo went on for awhile..and i wanted to get outta dere, because i didn't want to talk to him..i had a hard time hearing him..his voice was really low....so finally i got my ride..and i left ken there by himself with him..and so ken tells me..that he asked him if i was his gf, so ken says no...then he said..something along the lines of he likes me..and that he said 'black mixed with chinese make nice kids'..and that he asked ken that next time he wanted ken to introduce him to me, and then leave us alone…he wanted to talk to me in a 'one to one basis' NOW YOU TELL ME WHAT THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!! omg..i'm like so friggin scared..lol..he's like going to stalk me..good thing he doens't kno my name..HOW CAN HE LIKE ME IF HE DOESN'T EVEN KNO ME, AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNO MY NAME?!?! oh yeah, and ken didn't tell him i had a bf.....i'm staying FARFAR away from this guy..even I don't know his name..i just kno he's new to canada..and he moved to pickering...so today, I didn’t walk near those doors..and ken a I looked to see if he was dere, and he WAS!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m never going near those doors again!! Everywhere I go there now, I check around me to see if he’s anywhere near..lol..and I walk really really fast..so scared..lol, the look he was giving me was like he wanted to touch me. no joke!! kinda like a smiling smirk..omg..i never wanna see that guy again. and even this morning as i was walking up the stairs there was this guy standing on the top of the 2nd floor, and he looked at me..and he said 'morning' to me..and i said 'morning' back..cuz it's rude not to say anything back...and i continued walking up the stairs..and he's STILL looking at me..like up and down..he was like checking me out! 3 guys in one month, courtney. lol..this isn't right.! why am i attracting these guys?! ahhh! get away!! lol. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 26,July,2004 | yay!! i finally got to see brian today!! i never see him..even tho we live on the same STREET!! like a 3 min walk from each other!! damnit brian, MAKE AN EFFORT! LOL. i did!! we're supposed to meet at 5 at your hosue..and you weren' teven home!! how dare you!! and you give me a DRY CLEANERS EXCUSE!!! *grrrrrrrrrrrrrr* hehehe...iono, theres something aboutyou..that whenever i'm talking to you, i can never leave..maybe cuz you always bring something else up that i wanna talk to you about. lol..DO YOU WANT ME TO GET IN TROUBLE?!hahahha.. i know when your birthday is!! january 7th!! ...no...11th!! no....13TH!!! hahahahha..too many birthdays in january buddie...YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME TO YOUR PARTY!??! YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO WALK DOWN THE STREET AND RING MY DOORBELL AND INVITE ME OVER?!?! lol..i thought we were friends..*sniffles* oh yeah..friends for 8 YEARS!! DON'T EVER CHANGE OR I'LL RUN AFTER YOU BEAT YOU DOWN!!! hahaha. i'lll never change. i promise..your mom, haha, so funniee..'i wanna see joanna!! hahaha you haven't changed one bit!!' =D i'm happy about that. well..i don't need to change into one of those druggies and smokers ppl or those 'barbie girls' whom avy calls, who think they're so hot. 'yeah there's these girls that like me'-brian. 'are they good lookin'-jO 'yeah, some of them are..others..not so much..'-brian 'are they better lookin' then ME??'-jO hahahahhaha!!! cuz you know brian, you're SO MINE!! if any girl tries to get with you..they have to go through me PHIRST!! lol. so jokezzz* we be crusing the streets once you get your g2 aite? lol..nice..mercedes benz *wink* awww, you so kute=) i need a pic of you!!! |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 25,July,2004 | PHirST tyme for 'Cmoore' (haha), goin' to pacific mall..(asian fob central, lol) |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 24,July,2004 | urlLink awww, so kute, so kute. hehe..picture taken at...2AM?! KrAzY..=) no wonder you look so TiReD!! hehe, GO TO SLEEP! |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 22,July,2004 | Some people live for the fortune Some people live just for the fame Some people live for the power, yeah Some people live just to play the game Some people think that the physical things define what’s within And I been there before but that’s life’s a bore, so full of the superficial Chorus: Some people want it all, but I don’t want nothing at all If it aint you baby, if I aint got you baby Some people want diamond rings, some just want everything But everything means nothing if I aint got you, yeah Some people search for a fountain The promise is forever young (You know) Some people need 3 dozen roses And that’s the only way to prove you love them Hand me the world on a silver platter And what good would it be? With no one to share with no one who truly cares for me Chorus: Some people want it all, but I don’t want nothing at all If it aint you baby, if I aint got you baby Some people want diamond rings, some just want everything But everything means nothing if I aint got you, you, you Some people want it all, but I don’t want nothing at all If it aint you baby, if I aint got you baby Some people want diamond rings, some just want everything But everything means nothing if I aint got you, yeah If aint got you with me baby, ohh, ooo Say nothing in this whole wide world don’t mean a thing If I aint got you with me baby. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 21,July,2004 | hahaha, damn..i want my ToAsTeR right now..but i guess this one has 'gotsta' settle............ for now.;) urlLink OoOOooO..sHinEy! YOU GUYS GOTTA READ DIS!! FUNNIEST THING EVER!! ToAsTeR :) u wouldnt' play eM' i kno, but they all seem to b madly after u:) hehe damn jO, u r FINE! lol :D haha i'm sry lol i cna't stop:) |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 21,July,2004 | urlLink oH yeaH..you know you wanna get wit DIS!! hahahaha..a.k.a. hOt PiC *wink* Come and Get me deN;) LOL. omg, i'll never forget it..never again tho..never again. haha. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 21,July,2004 | hehe, miss. stephanie saliba...i haven't seen you in awhile buddddieeee!! *pssssssst i was threatened to make this blog!!* LOL, so i said, whynot=) plus..she IS the funnnnnnnnniiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesttttttttttttttttttt person EVER. i swear, if i'm around her for like 1 second...1 SECOND, i can't stop LAUGHING!! HAHAHAHA..i laugh so hard i cry when i'm with her. good memories...never change!! |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 21,July,2004 | oh YEAH and i'm the FIRST PERSON OUT OF OUR GROUP TO START BLOGGING! These ppl are COPING ME,AFTER THEY STARTED MAKIN' FUN!=( hehe,yeahyeah,i started it all,THE CHAIN STARTER OF BLOGGING,*out friends keep in mind*hehe,well i guess that's jO,giving such GREAT ideas. what an influencer^.^=D like all of sudden these ppl are making blogs....haha, good luck wiht them guys...i learned how to work everything on my own>. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 20,July,2004 | haha, so this is what happened right... i was online yesteday, and courtney decided to steal one of my hat pics from my display,,, then put it on his display, all the while he's talking to this other guy named Dillon': 'who is that?? she looks like a 'diva''.-Dillon *hahaha, who says that?!?!* 'That's my best friend Joanna. '-courtney so then courtney puts on another pic of me, my so called 'hot pic' 'is that her...?? She's kinda hot//'-Dillon so then courtney putson yet anotehr pic of meee, the one with my chains and an adidas hat..;) 'tell her i said she's sexi'-Dillon Courtney-'uhh, jO, i think he wants you.He thinks your soooo hot.' jO-'What?!?!?! he doesn't even know me!!Courtney-'yeah, he said he wants to date you, and i asked him how he would do that when he lives in scarbrough, and you live in ajax, andhe said, by WEBCAM!! LOL' and courtney told him that i had a boyfriend ,after he commented on my pics, and he's like..i know..i know.. LOL, so i start talking to this guy right, and he gave me a pic of him, and he looks SO much older than what he really is. PLUS, HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. wow, i feel bad for her lol. and i was talking to him, and i asked him 'tellme about yourself' and he freaked out, he's like SCARED of me...and he asked courtney..'what should i say!??!?!' hahaha..awwwwwwww..i'm like...'i didn't mean to scare him!!' to courtney. lol. and now, he's stealin' my display pics!!! also, he's moving to pickering december..and he's prolly going to go to our school...he also added, that he hopes to go to mine;) lol..this kid doesn't even know me..so random. haha. thanx courtney...FOR SELLING YOUR BEST FRIEND TO SOME RANDOM 14 YEAROLD! haha. urlLink Dis is Dillon, hehe, doesn't he look older than 13/14? And he's purdy tall to, just startin' highschool, and wishin' he was older;) lol, so he can get with 'older' girls, haha. Complain' that 'why do these things have to happen when i'm young?? i hate being young, i wanna be older!!' speakin' like a tru kid..haha. jokes.. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 20,July,2004 | damn that cell phone is loud. hehe. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 19,July,2004 | oh yeah, and i was also being stupid yesterday night...see i had a test today..and you know with my lack of sleep lately.. i talked on the phone with courtney from 12am to 2am. hahahha it was so funnie tho... jO-'my brother's not home yet' Courtney-'why?' jO-'what? i said my brother's not home yet.' courtney-'why?' jO-'my brother's not home yet!!' Courtney-' i know what you said!! i said why??' jO-'oh!! i couldn't hear you!! i thought you said 'what?'' courtney-'i was saying 'why'? and you just kept on repeating yourself!! i heard you the first 3 times!!' i had to whispher, and he turned the volume really high so he could hear me better..altho sometime we still had trouble hearing ourselves then i wake up this morning even more tired...did my test..(boyohboy i know i failed that) and NO courtney, i didn't need TYLYNOL!! lol. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 18,July,2004 | Yayyyyyyyy, today i went shopping with chris today...hahaha..it's not what you think. well first, he picked me up at around 4pm, and at that time, i was napping..you should know why *read previous blogs* First stop: Simon's well we went to simon's house, because chris wanted to borrow the xbox game spiderman from him, since simon is going to poland..'he won't be needing it. i'm stealing all his games...well..jsut this one' simon:'what? why are you both here? wait....HOW are you both here, how are you guys together?! I'M CONFUSED!!' 'we have our ways' *wink*-jO Second stop: McLean's hehe, returning 2 novels that his sister was reading...something about..arctic.? ummm, everest i think...arctic/everest..they both have snow. Third stop: dominion 'chris..we're grocery shopping together..this is too wierd..'-jO awwwwwwwwwwwww, they made a grocery list for you chris!! hahahaha....let's see...what do we have to get..? tuna fish bananas mustard marshmellows ricecakes 'how many bananas do you need?'-jO 'about 12 maybe'-chris 'NO!! don't pick the completely ripe ones!! they'll go bad faster!!'-jO 'then YOU pick them!!'-chris 'ok, how many do we have now?'-jO' 'uhhhhhhh, 11, so one more'-chris 'WHAT?! DON'T JUST BUY ONE BANANA!! THAT'S STUPID!!you don't have to get exactly 12 chris!!'jO Forth stop: Home Depot . 'first grocery shopping then shopping at home depot...chris..what are we doinG?!'-jO so we found everything we needed at home depot...just one last thing..we need cable wire..well we found the cable wire..and you know how whenever you're at home depot, and when you need something, there's like, NO ONE THERE? but when you don't need anything, THEY WON'T STOP BUGGING YOU?? YEAH!! that happened. we needed to get cable wire cut..but there was no cutters. so we needed to find someone to cut the wire for us. 'where the hell is everybody when you need 'em?'-jO so we ran around the store lookin for someone to cut the wire...we found this guy.. 'excuse me, i need to get some cable wire cut.'-chris 'table wire cut?'-crazy old man 'no... cable wire'-chris 'table wire?!'-crazy old man 'no!! CABLE WIRE!!'-chris hahahahhahahahahha.........what a crazy old man. then he said he was going to go page someone for us..cuz he ca'nt help us..cuz that's not his work area...*coughcoughbullshitcoughcough* well if certain ppl have their work areas, then where the hell is everyone in the work area where we need someone?! so we wait...for another 10min. no one came.. 'look there's another dude, ask him!'-jO 'excuse me, we need some cable wire cut.'-chris 'uh, yeah wait there, and i'll get someone to come'-some dude called marcus no one came. 'forget it let's just leave'-chris 'oh no, they're gunna get a piece of me..i wanna yell at them!! go up to customer service and tell them that you've been waiting for 30 MIN TRYING TO GET SOME DAMN CABLE WIRE CUT, AND AFTER 2 PPL SAID THEY'D PAGE SOMEONE TO COME, NO ONE CAME!!'-jO and of course chris, being quite passive..says...'i'll come tomorrow' well if it was up to me,, i'd yell lol. but it wasn't. we wasted 30min in homedepot, for NOTHING Fifth Stop: walmart we need apple sauce we went all the way to walmart..........to get apple sauce. why? cuz his parents phoned him and added it to the list of things he need to get. by the time that was all over..it was 5:30pm. i got dropped off home, and chris went to pick up his mom at the GO, at 5:30. the good thing is..i came home just in time, before my dad got home..hehe, he came home at 5:40pm. perfect timing=D |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 18,July,2004 | what a long night..........actually it felt kinda short..it just flew by!! i swear..it was 12am one moment, and the next, it was 8am!! all and the while..i was talking to my BaBy forever..BIGGEST RISK EVER!! I SWEAR I WAS LITERALLY HAVING A HEART ATTACK! I WAS SO SCARED. seee, what happened was that i was online till around 11:45pm, and then got told to go to sleep, so, i went upstairs, and laid on my bed and closed my eyes, and almost fell asleep, but i had a little light on in my room..and i heard someone coming in my room, and i thought it was my mom, so i quickly shut the light off, but it turned out, it was my brother... 'yo Joanna, your 'friend' is online' 'whaaaaaaaaaaat? right now?!' 'yeah, you wanna talk to him?' this is the moment, jO jumps outta bed, out of her room, and runs downstairs to the basement where her brother sleeps. (good thing my dad was already in bed, and my mom was like brushing her teeth or something int he bathroom, they didn' thear me go downstairs) so i get down there (my brother has his own laptop) and started talking to Chris....then we came up with a plan you seee..to stay up all night together talking on msn...the latest we ever stayed up on there was 4am. so what i had to do was hide in my brother's room UNDER HIS DESK, in the dark, so if my mom came into his room, she wouldn't see me. cuz they already think i'm in my room sleeping. we spent the whole night talking...not closing our eyes, cuz we shut them...they won't open again!! lol. and our hearts would beat so fast, cuz we're so scared for ourselves and each other. if we got caught...we're done for. =S so we spent the whole night talking, and i went back upstairs, at 8am, to my bed..very quietly so no one could hear me..and fell into my bed...and slept..for a total of about 4 hours..i'm going back to bed soon i assure you. hehe. it was SO worth it. nearing the middle of the night i was like talking drunkness...but by the time sunrise hit,...i was so hyper.. 'i've never seen this side of you before.' -chris 'you've beenwith me 15months, and you've never seen this side of me?! it's gotta be the tiredness, lol'-jO seee chris, i've told you before...life's all about risks...!! if you ain't going to take risks...don't expect anything to happen. we practically risked our lives. !! lol, the way our parents are..yeah.i would say so. huh, funnie thing actually..we kinda got to know each other even better...despite the 15months...we even got to know how we are without sleep, at 4-8 am..in the morning. haha. i'm going to remember this memory for sure, 'my g/f is giving me girl tips' NEVER ASK A GIRL HER SIZE you're buying me CLOTHES!? LOL. making dreams together then making them come true PATTERNS!! past g/f's and b/f's completely ObLiVIOus innie/inbetweenies where's the whipped cream!? that's all i can remember right now with the lack of sleep..some reason..it all felt like a dream..like it didn't even happen..like the times when you came over..they still feel like dreams too.. i was saving the convo, since i was on my brother's laptop, and put it on word..but at the last couple of minutes..i closed the window b4 i saved..cuz i was too concentrated in planning to how i'm going to get upstairs, and listening for my dad walking around....sorry chris=( oh well. we were talking randomness anyways. lol, the BEST randomness. key thing: at least we didn' tget caught... 'i leave when my dad opens the basement door to come down and go to the bathroom...he opens the door to freedom for me! LOL.' *i need sleep* urlLink |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 17,July,2004 | went to STC got new sandles went to ptc came home fixed/added to my blog went bike riding w/ Courtney went to kaiser's house realized he's not there went to mini mart went to courtney's house got bike tires pumped (good job) went to mullen came home went to KFC because they screwed up my brother's order saw russel at KFC..DISCOUNTS!! came home started eating stopped eating cuz i felt sic feelin' sic dying i think i'm dying... |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 16,July,2004 | soso yesterday right? i'm tiredddddddddd... i couldn't type thisin yesterday cuz i was too lazy too... who in the right mind would go BOWLING at 4pm!? Ryan, Tash and ME of course! lol. too bad Ryan lost TWICE to two girls! ....sorry ryan.=) but all was funnn...cept for that pin that kept falling down. haha..ryan..'can that one count as a poinT??' NO! 'i'll dispose of the evidence..let us never speak of this again' way to go ryan..spending $18 worth of cleaning supplies for avy..'swifers/dustpan/those things you put in the toilet that cleans it/a BELL' well actually the bell is for ryan to ring and get avy's attention. smart idea! and tash being my personal chair and all..(i hear i'm very COMFORTABLE) and her legs falling asleep on me. ohand tash and leila trying to carry me up the stairs on their backs..piggybackrides. lol..well tash failed..and leila..almost fell downthe stairs doing it. lol. *i ain't THAT heavy am i?* ohh the cake..so chocolate..like..SO chocolate. i felt sick after all that junk food. i tried to eat more veggies. well that's like what i mostly ate..and then iwent back and forth onteh chocolate and miss. vickies. why am i a walking joke to these ppl? best if i just disappear from the face of this EARTH. wouldn't that solve ALL our problems? i'm just so entertaining that way....let's all look at jO and point and laugh... pillow fight with mee and tash..and just me dancing and twirling, looking like i'm 'drunk'...'take a picture of jO!!!' why don't you all just DIE! wow..i'm not making any sense in this blog..i better stop now. haha. i just finished eating.and i'm still hungry i want to have a party..but i don't at the same time......my basement won't fit so many ppl well..neither could simons..but he's had TONS of ppl over b4...and i realized yesterday..that no matter what..i'll never be able to see chris on my birthday. well...i meant..not forlike 5 min/10 min. that doesn't count..like actuallly AT my house. for like 5 hours...that's never gunna happen is it? it hurts to think about it. i had a dream the other night..i was actually SMOKING like ciggarettes, 2 in fact..i think my brother is the one who handed it to me lol..but i can actually like taste it. and like feel the smoke..and everything..wow..weird..then the next day i had like an urge to smoke something cuz i was watching this movie..and the girl was like smoking marijuana right? and it reminded me of me smoking..cuz she was doing it the exact same way that i was doing it in my dream... ryan welcomed me to cut his hair..well welcomed me and tash..was it hair? i forget..that..and i wanan go paintballing with you guys..but..will it hurt?!?? probably...ouch. and i know the PERFECT gift for ryan's birthday..hehehe..he'll LOVE it. yes ryan..i'll go to your house at 1 and get drunk, throwup, and then go home at 10 or even walk home. great idea! just tell me when. lol. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 16,July,2004 | to my baby christopher, and one of my best friends Avy.. Happy 17th Birthday=) Wishin' you guys have an awsome day.. love you both^.^ kinda funnie how one of my best friend's and boyfriend's birthday land on the same day..lol. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 14,July,2004 | urlLink |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 13,July,2004 | Mr. Courtney Jordan White Moore;) urlLink urlLink |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 12,July,2004 | wow..i just finished washing my hair..and i was brushing it..and when i looked at my brush..there was make up on it..i was brushing my hair..with make up on my brush..great...just GREAT. well it was just a little spot on the brush..i dont know..still..can i have a better day tomorrow..please?? |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 12,July,2004 | *sigh..ok..let me start this off by this morning..woke up..already a bad day. lol.i was so tired. i wanted to go back to bed..but i couldn't cuz i have summer school. so i get dressed and every thing and go downstairs. every morning b4 i go to school , i fill up one of my water bottles, (you know me and water). so i go and pour water in my bottle..well..while i was pouring this water...i'm guessing i spaced out..cuz i was pouring it..and i was being stupid..cuz i had to stop pouring when it got near the top..but i didn't..i just like ...WATCHED it spill over..yeah...how stupid am i? lol, so i spilled water all over the floor. i went to get the mop, and mopped it up..and then i went to pour some water out into the sink..well..i didn't see this bowl right..that was in the sink..and it was full of water..and i poured my water straight into that bowl and the water splashed up..INTO MY EYE...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, MY EYE!! IT'S BURNING!!! lol..i was like..WHAT THE HELL/. lol...great..now my eye is like full of dirty water. lol, it didn't effect me that much, i ran to the bathroom to wipe my eye up..ewewew...ok, then after i was like..i should pack something to eat at school, cuz obviously i am a human being and i need to eat, and i get hungry..well guess what?? THERE WAS NO BREAD AND NO BAGELS! what is going on here?!?! lol. so i get angry..and thought, i'll just eat breakfast, and not pack anything..so i grab a bowl..and take some cereal..as i was pouring the cereal..IT DROPPED ALL OVER THE FLOOR!! well like..it kinda bounced out of my bowl onto the floor..since when does cereal BOUNCE?! well today..it did..so i finally ate my cereal and went to school (all this happened in less than 30min) crazy..so i go to school..and we had..hmmmm. 2 FIRE ALARMS..what is with this school and fire alarms!? and one of them was right in the middle of a quiz..and the other ..right b4 i suppposed to do my test...so the test got cancelleld..cuz we would've had to write it in like and hour..which is UNLIKELY..and all through the day..i was happy cuz i couldn't wait till the end of the day where i go home..and at 4 or so my baby will come over and see me..hmmm..when i got home tho..i realized..my brother wasn't home..'where's stanley, mom?' *jO reads a note dad left for mom* 'what's this?? it says..something..uh..' *it was in chinese. lol* 'umm..it says, me and stanley went to peterbrough something for..carsen?' (carsen is the company my dad works at) uh..wait..'if stanely's with dad..doesn't he have to go to work today at like 4?' mom says, 'yes he does' jo says 'then ...doesn't that mean..dad's going to be home because he's driving stan home? is he goign back to work afterwards?!' *mom phones dad to find out what's going on* 'no, your dads coming home right now..' *time..3:00pm* hahahhahaha...WOW. then i had a heartattack, cuz if my dad's home..and he comes..i'm in BIG TROUBLE. so i went up stairs..sat in my room, did 'homework' while STARING outside of my bedroom window, to watch for him just incase he came. and then i saw him ride by at like..4:15? hehe..awwwwwwwwww, he had his adidas hat on..and i think he was with his dad..on a bike ride..awwwwwwwwwwwwww, it's a father/son thing. THANKGOD for that, lol. but after at like 4:30, i was THEN homealone. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..stupid plans screwed up on me..but i can guarenteee..they won't screw up tomorrow..and i hope i have better luck. bad day...veryvery bad day.. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 12,July,2004 | oH yeah..and i almost got my BIKE STOLEN TODAY. seee, i was going to Simon's house right, and i was ringing the doorbell, and you know simon, never answering the door, because he can't 'hear it' from the basement...so was standing outside for like 5 min. ringing that doorbell, and suddenly this guy rides past on the other side of the sidewalk, and looks my way, then shouts behind him, 'don't do it'...hmmm..sounds kinda fishy to meeee, so i walk back to my back..and there's this girl on the driveway..tiptoeing to my bike,, and was about to pick it up, and i stood there, looking at her..like 'what the fuck do you think your doing?'..and she lloked up at me..and right at that moment i know what she was thinking..'shit..' lol..so all she did was like laugh..cuz there was nothing she could say..and she went back to her bike..picked it up..and rode off..well at this time..simon FINALLY came out..and yeah..it all went from there..interesting eh?? now simon's scared that he can' tleave his bike out on his driveway..fear of getting it stolen. haha. 'this is bad neighbourhood now...='( now i can't leave my bike out!!' hmmm, reason ithink she wanted to steal my bike was because her's didn't have a seat on it..lol. i noticed that much. plus, i knew who she was ..she goes to pickering, and she was in my business class in grade 10...you know chris? the one who asked for a pencil near the end of the school year out of nowhere when we were at our locker? yeah, THAT girl. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 11,July,2004 | ...and i'll never see it again...never wear it again...i miss it already..*sniff* i want it back...so white..so red..so black..so...adidas..so new..so STYLIN' IN IT. i look better in it than YOU DO!! ...ok, maybe i don't. so anyways...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i had two quizzes today, and i have another one tomorrow, PLUS a test!!! and now that the temperatures are going up...+ concentration..= HeaDachE. Meee take tylonol *sigh* i miss my ToAsTeR...how it makes toast..how it makes my slices of bread all nice and golden brown..how it makes it all crunchy when you bite into it. lol..oh and peanut butter and jam together..so simple yet so good. yeah...ToAsTeR..my ToAsTeR...simple...yet so good. Now i'm hungry for some ToAsT=) |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 11,July,2004 | hmmmmm, so...now i can't go out because i'm a GIRL?! and my brother goes out like every single day. they don't even know where he is right now, and they don't even have a problem with that! i haven't gone out since forever, and if i had asked to go out today, they would've went PSYCHO ON ME. 'Girl's aren't supposed to go out' WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!? so what do i do? i stay home. what do i do at home? 'clean the house, wash the dishes, vaccuum the house, dust the house, fold the laundry, do the laundry...' why don't i just do EVERYTHING, while my brother is out god knows where, and while my sister stays in her room and goes on her laptop 24/7, and does absolutely nothing?? now you know...now you know why, i go out, when they're not home.. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 10,July,2004 | urlLink |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 10,July,2004 | just a typical sunday...where there's nothing to do, no one to talk to, so what do i do?? i GO SHOPPING!!=D!!! well the only reason i went to the mall today is because i had to exchange something for a certain somebody..and for some reason they had to take my name/address/phone number/ the works...=S hmmmmmmm, they best not be sending me mail!! OOO!, and i gots my freeeeeeeeeeee icecream scoop at baskin robbins!! thank god i had a coupon for a free scoop from buying a shrek dvd...or else i would've had to pay like $2.34 +tax..which is SO not worth it...it used to be like $2, and that was already expensive. actually i didn't buy the dvd, guess who did? (psst..he's crazy i tell yah!) mmmmmmmmmmm, maui brownie maddness...chocolate with brownies, and nuts. and then i walked over to freshly squeezed..and my brother's friend works there, so now, i can get free drinks!! hahahha..for FREEE. did you know that strawberry&mango tastes like tomato? lol. and i was being a good girl today and doing my homework..actually i'm not really good, if i'm doing it on sunday right? but anyways, i'm doing my homework, and then i was like leaning on my chair back..and something BLUE caught my eye out side of my window...i was like...HEY!! isn't that...someone i know?? hmmmmmmm, i don't remember his name, but he was lookin' real kute wit his baby blue football jersey. i just wanted to run outside and TACKLE him down. hahahahhahahha. too bad i didn't, i'm sure he would've enjoyed it just as much as i would;) |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 10,July,2004 | urlLink sOsO jO-ness=) |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 10,July,2004 | ok...I am a new user to this..and i have no IDEA what i'm doing!!! =S *lookin' scared* haha, i accidently stumbled on this 'blog' site cuz my brother had one up..and i wanted to leave a msg, but i somehow ended up with my own blog site....i'm wondering...how did THAT happnen?!?!?! but now that i have one, i might as well work on it and keep it right??...RIGHT?!??!?! hahahha..ok w/e. so yesss...and now i wondering how to put up pictures that are not url..i want to upload..but i don't wanna read the help section..too long and lazy. lol. anyone wanna help meE?? =( I know i'm going to end up reading it anyways...=P |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 14,August,2004 | LOL, yeah..umm..only my sister and my brother would get that title..i was being stupid again today..only my family has seen me the craziest..no one else has..which is a good thing..cuz to you guys..i'm already crazy..but you haven't seen me..when..i'm at home. lol..which is good. cuz you'd be SCARED. but anyways, i was hardwood flooring ALL DAY. and i couldn't help but sit down every 5 seconds..and i got so tired..i didn't want to walk anymore, so i would fall to the ground, and slide my way across the room=D and my dad kept on telling me to sweep the dirt and the floor or w/e, so my sister told me 'just swifer it'. but see..we don't HAVE A SWIFER!! we have one of those..pledge grabits..BITERNESS PPL WHO COPIED SWIFERS..but..swifers prolly copied some other brand. hehe..any ways..so i said fine..i grabbed it and went around the room 'swifering' the floor, and was doing those impressions of the ppl on the commercials..HAHAA, and my sister couldn't stop laughing, i was like practiacally dancing...and i reached underneath our 3 seater, and said..'i swifer it GOOD!!' HAHAHHAHA, in a funnie little jap. accent. LOL, funniest thing EVER. but of course..it's not funnie if you weren't there. OBVIOUSLY. hahaha, ryan..hope you had a fun time yesterday at your SURPRISE PARTY. i know you did..you couldn't stop smiling..i saw youuzz=) hehe, i hope you had a great birthday, damn ryan..why do you have to be so much older than me?! wellwellwell...4th time chris...4th time...you know...we DO cause trouble..lol. ok, i'll stop causing trouble for the both of us, if that's what you want.=( i just can't help it *winkz* courtneycourtneycourntey...tsktsktsk..not home at 9pm...and i KNOW your rents' weren't in!! where...were you? hmmmmmmmmmm? i called, and your brother said youweren't home, i said ok i'd call back later, and he's like...'yeah Joanna, i 'll tellhim you called' awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, he knew who i was!!! i smiled=) and said..'thanks!' lol. so kute. YES I SAID YOUR BROTHER IS KUTE. hahahhaha. 'yeahyour brother? he's not that bad lookin'..;)' 'what's that smell....*sniffsniff*....IS THAT YOUR BROTHER?! HE SMELLS GOOD!' LMAO i'm going to be so busy this weekened and MONDAY...but the worse part is...i don't think i'll be seeing my baby..=( especially on my birthday..when i wanna see him most. actually, i wanna see him everyday..and i still don't have that..lyfe's not fair. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 11,August,2004 | ughhhhhhhhhhhh, i'm tired...and i haven't blogged in a couple of days..thanks for that update COURTNEY! lol...my blog cannot be YOUR WORLD and i'm sorry if it's the only thing that will make you feel BETTER..but i'm doing this now..for you...it's just..i've been very very lazy in typing..and just thinking of what to write up..and.it just seems like i have nothing to say..but here goes... shopping? we HARDLY even wwent shopping it was more like a get together..cuz all we did was sit around..stand around talking..we could've done that ANYWHERE. it's not like ptc is THAT BIG, if we actualy walked around the mall it would've took less than 1 HOUR, but no..you guys decided to do..absoluetley ..nothing. WAY TO GO!! lol, ok..i'm j/k..it dun matter tho. because it was fun with all my close friends. funny thing is..i didn't buy a single thing..odd.. but anyways...omg, chris..and courtney...I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS LIED TO ME!! no one lies to jO like that....and i can't believe i fell for it...the only reason i did tho..is because I TRUST COURTNEY SO MUCH, that i felt he would NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS to me...courtney..you broke my trust...LOL..but since it was for something good..i forgive you..as for you chris...YOU ARE NOT FORGIVEN!!! lol..i'm gunna haf to teach you a lesson;) haha. but i love you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much...BUFFY SEASON 6 DVDS!!! OMG, *FREAKING OUT* i can't wait to start watching them..with a bowl of popcorn..*sigh* thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH, no wonder you knew for sure that i would love it..trickytricky!! hehe. staring at it everynight..geez..lol so shopping today right? ok...so..i can see now..when i shop wiht chris for the first time..he is DEFINETLEY NOT A SHOPPPER...i felt like i had to drag him with me..and once he would'nt even go into a store..he just suddenly stoppped!!!=( i felt like i was going to cry...*snifflez* HIS EXCUSE: ToAsTeR says: u b a crazy shopper tho lol i can shop, when i wann'a i'll run around the mall for hrs. on end., but i hafta', a) not b dead tired and b) b lookin' at thingz i udnerstadn lol and clothes.. confuse me video games... ToAsTeR says: lol ToAsTeR says: tiredness especially hehe, soo 6:30 earliness |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 07,August,2004 | so i call courtney..his brother tells me to phone back..AGAIN. sure thing *rolls eyez* then courtney gets back from DELIVERING!! (hahahahaha PAPERBOY! i'll tease you forever for that) and his brother tells him that i phoned..(for once)..but..while HE'S ON THE PHONE!! so how do you expect him to phone me back..LOSER! so courtney doesn't care, and runs outta the house not telling his parents that's he's leaving, hops onto his bike and rides over to my house, despite the fact that my parents might've been home, and rings my doorbell..(way to take the risk buddie! see how taking risks is a good thing?haha, i love you for doing this) meanwhile i'm in my house..heard the doorbell..'i don't wanna get the door jul.' 'well check the window' i look out the window, only to see a very familiar bike..IT'S COURTNEY!!=D!! i run downstairs, open the door and can't help but smile=) drop everything, just to come and see me, not telling you're leaving, just to see me. hehe. so crazy. you were lucky my parents weren't home. =) but even if they were..all you would say is..'hey JO!! LONG TIME NO SEE!!' HAHAHA.. we end up swinging at the hidden park..cuz i hate ppl.=Dand these 3 younger girls came outta the forest, and asked for the time..this is important for later...and for once...COURTNEY HAS MONEY!! we rode to little ceasers to get crazy bread. and when we left..we were riding on the parking lot to leave..and he didn't realize there was a car in front of him, i was going to shout out to him, but it was too late....lol, no he didn't get hit..but the car honked at him, and i passed by the car..looked STRAIGHT AT THEM WITH THE DIRTIEST LOOK EVER..why?? BECAUSE HE WAS DRIVING ON THE PARKING SPACES NOT THE FUCKING ROAD, HE HAS NO FUCKING RIGHT TO FUCKING HONK HIS HORN AT HIM. and so...i shouted that out to the dude driving..hahaha..courtney told me to calm down..but i couldn't help it, it made me so mad! he wasn't even driving on the road!! he was driving through the parking spaces!! then we rode back to mullen to swing on our swings and eat, we see 3 different girls in the park playing..with..woodchips? haha c.moore-'good, our swings are free' we ride up to our swings get off, as i saw the same 3 girls that we saw before walking towards the park..jO-'let's get our swings before those girls take it'..just then..the 3 different girls that were playing in the park..RAN SO FAST AND TOOK OUR SWINGS!! jO-'..or..not..' i swear...DAMN KIDS, STEALING MY SWING, AFTER THEY KNEW I WAS HEADING FOR THEM. courtney-'i swear they were playing in the sand!!' jO-'more like SPLINTER VILLE! i swear, i would push 'em off just to get them..but..*breathe* i won't..stupid kids..I HATE THEM!' courtney-*yells back as we're riding away* 'YOU STUPID FUCKING KIDS!!' jO-'HAHAHAHAHAHHA...see, courtney..i swear at them undermy breath. indirectly, but making sure they HEAR me..you...you jus tswear at them DIRECTLY!!! ' LMAO...oh boy..pretty funnie.. i hate kids..and i hate ppl...stupid kids..next time, i'm beating them off the swing..how dare they steal our swings.. |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 06,August,2004 | Hey jo....its me courntey..... i decided to tell u my werid dream that i had last night on ur blog... and also to every1 else LOL....These dreams make no sense or meanin what so ever. ne ways since they are kinda long i'll start right now. =) Dream 1: The silky B-day Dress.... (sounds intrestin jo doesnt it..LOL ) As usal me and jo we doin a lil mall walkin....... in scarbrough town...and for sum reason my brother was there with me ...dont ask no clue ne ways... Jo wanted to walk around the mall and watch a movie..but for sum reason the moive she wanted to watch was sold out..but jo really wanted to watch a movie and spend a lil cash she had . ( that doesnt sound like jo AT ALL LOL ) So we watched this really really gay movie that had to do sumthin witt bunnies and more bunnies tryin to kill other bunnies...LOL but to get on with the story and tryin to make this as short as possible...The moive was starting and jo said she would get sum popcorn and be right bak..and at the same time my brother saw his friend entering the theatre so my brother went sum where to go hide LOL (typical brother LOL)....ya so..... i was sittin there watchin the moive for more that 30 mins waitin for her to get the popcorn and being tortured by dancin bunnies.. tryin killin other dancin bunnies..LOL after 15 more mins jo came bak..NOT WITH POPCORN INSIGHT!!!!!!! Me: UM WHERES THE POPCORN!! Jo: Well i was in the line and i saw this lady show her daughter this really nice silky dress so i asked where she got it and i went to look at it... Me: O... ok....( me being as passive as i am LOL) so we watched the rest of the moive.. At the end of the movie, jo was laughin really loud and talkin bout how the moive was SOOOOOOO GAY and this was the craziest thing she ever did with me. the lights slowly turned on AND WHAT DID I SEE!!! Me: JO WHAT ARE U WEARIN!!! jo: i wanted to try it on ( as she walked away from me laughin) Me: WHAT!!! ARE U CRAZY!! U DIDNT TELL U Bought IT!! (cuz i really knew what was wrong which ill explain later) Me: U gotta bring that back!!!!! jo: y dont i look nice it ( jo spinnin) Me: yes but... u cant have it.... um..bring it bak..., as we were walkin out the theatre jo ahead of me jo RAN BACK IN A GRABED MY ARM !! Jo: I cant go over there my PARENTS ARE OUT THERE!!!!!!!! Me: WHAT!!!!!!!! R U SURE Jo: YES!!!! SHIT OMG WHAT AM I GONNA DO!! .. Me: jo jus use my Gap sweater and since u are wearin that silky new dress they might not notice u when we walk by. Jo: R U STUPID!!! THEY KNOW ITS ME!!!!! Me: well if u wanna sit here waitin all day for them to leave ... ur choice Jo: FINE!!!!!!! so she put it on and then we started to leave. Jo: im sooo scared right now i cant even think Me: JUS KEEP WALKIN! (sry ppls this is where i cant remeber what happened that good cuz as u do kno... this is a dream and dreams start to fade when u think about them too much) Jo and i walked pass these escalators and jo said she see's CHRIS!!! and not with his parents or ne one...so she turned around and ran towards the escalator goin up.. Me: where is he there's too many ppl ...JO WAIT UP!! me beside the escalator and jo already half way up then started screamin at me... OMG COURNTEY MY PARENTS ARE AT THE TOP!!!!! I was gettin freaked out when she said that then told her to run back down the escaltor NOW! I then i bumped in to sum one as i started runnin closer to jo.. It was Julia jo's sister.. Julia: hi courntey where's jo.. Right there on the escalator... Julia: WHAT!! OUR PARENTS ARE UP THERE!!! ..Me: i kno!!!!.. as we headed for the escalator... Julia Screamed!! Julia: OMG WHAT THE FUCK ARE U WEARIN!!!. ME AND CHRIS GOT U THAT FOR UR BIRTHDAY!!!! ( Julia startin to cry) Jo: coverin her face wit my gap sweater i guess was embarssed and she still didnt make it to the bottom floor seemed like she was in deep shit!!! THEN.... i suddenly woke up... Damn it i wished i could see more LOL!!!!! ~The End~ |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 04,August,2004 | it's raining, it's pouring...........LITERALLY! and it's not stopping...it was raining yesterday night, it was raining this morning...and it's raining now. why does it have to rain? haven't we got enuf rain for this summer? 90% of our summer so far is RAIN. stupid rain...likes to ruin my day..ruin my summer..give me a headache... alright..i haven't much to say..so i'll just randomize and specify it to individuals for this entry cuz it's way too short: |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 02,August,2004 | sorry, ihad to delete my last entry, because it screwed up my whole blog.>. •~Aniblade~ Or courtney if u wanna kno who i am LOL : hey jo, so where do i find these ingrdents? LOL i dont think that dominion or ne other places i kno supply them!! come on JO I NEED TO MAKE IT QUICK EVERY HOUSE WANTS A DELIOUSCS Joanna...i wonder how much it costs...can u tell me or alteast sum1... Coutney singin: (taste..HER.. ice cream!! Come and take a scoop of her ice cream baby.. jo has the flavas that will make u go craza) HAHAH sry i gotta stop im laughin and i am supose to be eatin dinner LOL!!! BYE!! By Anonymous, at 7:49 PM •HAHAHAHAHA, SO JOKEZZZ!! i hate that song so much, don't ever ever sing that again! lol. oh yeahhh, cuz you KNOW that every one wants a JO COCKTAIL!! HAHAHA. *sippin' on mah chardinade* *winkz* mmmmm, tastes good dun it? *muah* By Mayu-Mikiki, at 8:12 PM sorry again..it was a cool entry too!! it was an icecream quiz!! i was choco chip cookie dough!! it said..:You are fancy shmancy! You have all the bells and whistles and you attract the most gluttonous of ice-cream shop patrons. You are fattening and intensely rich. That being said, you are very tasty and have a huge fanbase! good for you!---->;'>'Taste my Icecream' I HATE THAT SONG! C, should know that. haha. hey guyzzz, i'm FATTENING! and a personal cocktail drink=) How to make a Joanna: 3 parts friendliness 5 parts crazyiness 3 parts beauty Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add curiosity to taste! Do not overindulge want the ingredients? lol, come on ova 'n i'll hook yuh up *winkz* |
3,887,270 | female | 17 | Student | Leo | 01,August,2004 | hahaha, i'm at my cousin's house right now, and i just finished eatingggg!! One of them is mad at me tho..cuz i stole his smirnoff green apple twist and drank it!! eventho he IS 2 years YOUNGER than me!!! HAHAHAHAHA, now he won't talk to me...=( my family is wondering if i'm drunk, WHICH I'M SO NOT, i think they're forgetting that i'm NATURALLY HYPER! and they made me sing,( THANKS TO MY BROTHER AND HIS BIG MOUTH,) because he said that i was the best singer in our family so then everyone wanted to hear my voice *nervousness* ...STOP LOOKING AT ME!!! lol. 'joanna!! you're turning red, are you sure you're notdrunk???' NO!! lol, i'm a RESPONSIBLE DRINKER DAMNIT!!' 'yeah..so responsible that you're drinking UNDER AGE!!' lol...well you know everyone has heard of peer pressure forcing friends to drink alcohol...well in this case...it's not my friends..it's my family!! FAMILY PRESSURE!! haha...if they see you not drinking, they offer you one, or hand you one. and if you don't drink, they make fun of you..and think you're weird. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ?? lol. stupidfamily..oh well..one..or..A FEW bottles won't hurt...HAHA, j/kj/k..7% alcohol? i can handle that;) *jO passes out* LOL no, iam not an alcoholic, and i don't plan on being one.=D |
4,179,573 | female | 15 | Student | Cancer | 19,August,2004 | today was sooooo funny!!! i don't no were 2 start!! okay!~in career ed today melli was playing with this little black bug on the desk, going 'bugy,bugy,bugy'.it was so cute. like watching a 4yr old. well the thing is i didn't have the heart to tell her it was just a bit of black fluff!! in the end steven and i told her and she was so upset. we virtually killed her new little frend. oh and by the way steven....GET A BRA. u need the xtra support!!!!hahahah JJ but today was good. i was supposed to go to my boyfrendz(lee's) place afterscholl so we could 'talk'hahahahaha! but he locked them in the house. poor guy looked like he was gonna kill himself!! but i have no idea wot else to rite so i gotta go!! BYE PS; melli how are we supposeed to do the 6 or 7 pages of mathz work in 1 nite???!!! god mrs khong is a phyco freak....and how the hell did she become a mrs????!!!! |
4,179,573 | female | 15 | Student | Cancer | 10,August,2004 | Things i have learnt today: Fact of life #1:nomatter how good u r, there's always some1 better!! so u'd best give up now Fact of life #2: Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Fact of life #3:Fashion police do exist!! Fact of life #4: Every one had a uncle who tried to steal their nose( my uncle still has mine!!) Fact of life #5:I'm always right!!! neway. yesterday i went 'riding'(for people who don't no...that means i went to my boyfrends when no 1 else was home) with Lee. and mum got pissed cos i got home 30 mins late oh well. hey melli!!! guess wot!!melli and devon sittin in a urlLink tree...f*@#ing!!!! haha u no u want 2!!! sorry....i'm a sugar junkie it's not my fault i'm crazy and can't spell!!! well g2g. mwa...catchya later!! oh and steven H is sooo hot......sorry just went delirious then. too much sugar i guess. |
4,179,573 | female | 15 | Student | Cancer | 09,August,2004 | Well well well. Look who it is! I knew you couldn't resist me!! so melli. I finally got a blog. HAPPY NOW????!!!! for everybody who doesn't know. Melli is the annoying visable, invisable friend that kept bugging me to get a blog. i have no idea wot to write so..........i'll talk to mel and write more tomorrow in artsmedia.i have such bad luck!! I'm stuck with mel 5 days a week, all day.could it get ne worserer!!! |
4,116,577 | female | 36 | Student | Gemini | 02,August,2004 | I had a good appointment with K this past week. We had missed a week because she was gone, so I was sort of feeling like there was so much to cover and not knowing where to start. Ended up with us talking about Panther (not a suprise...) and me for most of the time. Interesting thing happened... As we were talking about us, and what I get from the relationship that is positive and what the lessons are to be learned, my necklace that I wear all the time just slipped off. Came unlatched and just slid off. I caught it and made the comment that that was odd (and heres why I love K), she then started asking me what the necklace ment to me... and how important it might be that it came unhooked right then in the point of the conversation we were having which was basically about my frustration with Panther... I told her the necklace is something I have worn for years in different ways. I change out the items all the time, but am always wearing something. and 99% of the reason I wear it is because of Panther...I wear either something he gave me, or something that has pertinent meaning to him and I on it pretty much all the time. Right now I have 3 things on it a Faery that he gave me a Konji charm of Faith that we bought in DC an amethyst crystal that is just mine... She then lead me through discussing what it might mean that it fell off...and what we came up with was that while it fell off, and that would to the outside world seem like it was 'broken' in reality I could tell it was not (the clasp was still intact) and because I was aware of the fact it slipped off I was able to catch it and put it back on rather then ignoring it and losing it, or assuming it was broken and throwing it away. This lead to the idea that with Panther and I, that while from the outside perspective it seems 'broken', from my innerself I see that it is **really fine** and that as long as I pay attention to that fact and dont ignore things and let them fall and be lost, it can be put 'back on'. Onward now to the lessons I feel I need to learn within this relationship. I came up with 2 possibilities, which actually leads to one... Let me see if I can sum them up. Well the one possibility that I have pretty much thrown out and I'll explain why in a minute, is the idea that I am to learn to not be naive and to learn to walk away... the other lesson (which is the harder of the two possibilities) is that I am to learn patience and trust. Trust in my innerself more then anything. To trust the inner voice that tells me to keep holding on, and that it is all worth it, while the outer voice is going 'dont be a smuck, just let go and walk away...it'll hurt less now then if it happens later'...see that is where the conflict comes in to play. The idea of the lesson being to walk away is really the 'easier' of the two...and it really is just the complex expressing itself...the no trust, fear of getting hurt complex...its not really a lesson now is it. Now the other one, the trust in me, the listen to my inner self one, that one is the hard lesson and the more difficult because it means going AGAINST all my inner defenses that have built up because of the complex that is trying to fool me into thinking its a lesson to be learned. Sooooo, basically we came to the conculsion that as frustrating as things are right now for me, I really do want to give Matt and I more time and I dont want to turn my back and protect myself. I need to learn patience, self relience and trust, while at the same time learning to speak up for myself. ***I cant pick easy lessons now can I?****** We also discussed how this relationship Panther and I have really in all its oddity has some good sides. The fact that I am 'alone' so much makes it where I am 1) forced to be dependent on myself, therfore stronger then I would be if I was in a traditional relationship where I could dump things on someone elses shoulders and 2) gives me alot of time to do this work, move forward on this journey I have started. I have no conflicts of someone tugging me away from my inner work and that is partly why I am able to do so much and move forward so quickly. Also, my doing this work, and shoring myself up, makes me a stronger person to be there for Panther as he starts his own work and really needs my dependability and not my flakyness... |
3,821,963 | female | 15 | Student | Leo | 29,July,2004 | HmM..feelinG sOOOooo...dUno hOw to explaiN..i nOe it's nOne of my busIness..but dUno y feeL sOoooo...haha...aiyA..mUz be wonderiNg waT i tOkkinG rite..haha..slowLy gUess... |
3,821,963 | female | 15 | Student | Leo | 26,July,2004 | heya..i getting lazy..seldom write blog nowadays..Hmm..i admit i m a lazy piggy..haiz..getting bit paranoid nowadays..alwis think someone is tokking bad abt me..or is it true..sobx..anywae..i can feel michelle tt grp not vry happy wif me..thou for watever reasons i duno..did i step on their toes??haix...ParaNoid... Oh..example..tt dae i brought a new bag to sch..deN dey all were lyk staring at mi lyk a freako..n so bu shuang..scary lehx..deN i thot i hearD deM saying smth abT copyiNg shih ying..haiz..but i didnt..i buy tt bag becoz i lyk it..watever i do some ppl will sure not happy..i noe i shud juz ignore deM..but some remarks can be real biting lorx..i reali hope everyone can be happy lorx..m i not sensitive enuff...................................... Another thing..y m i trying so hard to try to please everyone n let dem be happy when dey dun even care abt my presence n care abt my feelings..i feel so sadddd...saded.. buddeN..the bible says we must be forgiving and nv expect smthing in return when u help someone or etc..but smtimes it juz so difficult..afterall..we are humans..fine..lets juz sae i m childish or immature.. i also feeling depressed nowadays actually..so slack..juz cant bring moi to study for Os..i juz cant get myself into study mood...my momentum kena broken larx..but force myself...but vry difficult leh..haix..see bks liao den feel so lazy to pick dem up n concentrate revising for few hrs..haiz..but in the past i can..hu can help mi bring back the momentum??argh!!! reali wan do well for Os de leh..if i cannot take sci i think i will reali break down..but dun worry..will not commit suicide..bleahx..but life's juz lyk tt..my usual quote..instead of blaming y life is lyk tt..y not make an effort to improve it to the way u want it to be..??whoa..sound vry chim horx..hee..k larx..i wan go do maths le..zOOkx.. |
3,821,963 | female | 15 | Student | Leo | 24,July,2004 | tOdae weather sOOOoo cOld..earLy in the MorniNg raiN..deN i gOt mOCK exAm..No sweaTer tO keep mOi waRm..cOld..buT thiS tYpe weatHer beTa deN Hot aftErnOOn..unbearaBle aNd sticKy..toDae sEE pikaChu sO siaNx..is it trUe all woMen hu reaCh a certaIn agE will naG naG anD naG(menopause??)caNt stand hEr lorx..her VoicE wiLL bE 4eva ringinG iN my ears..yiKs..actUally caN toleratE de Lorx..buT smTimEs hOrx..sHe caN reaLi juZ gO on naggIng lOrx..eveN if we make tHose nastY remarKs..heeX..hOrrible ritEzx..oh ya..hOw cOme sHe nv evEn get foOd poisOninG when she tastE thE pastrY aR..??pEngz..we tasTe a bit dUno lyk waT le..XinyI eVen vomit 'PINK' substanCe..haha..yeT she seeMs oKie..sHe tasTe so many ppl's pastRy..lOlx.. |
3,821,963 | female | 15 | Student | Leo | 19,July,2004 | Hi..i'm baCk..it's awfullY lOng sInce i lasT enTered a nEw pOst hOrx..bleHx..shuCks..todae iN tHe aFternOOn feeL sO sicK unTil almOst vomit..bUt nOw feeliNg betA..haHa..btW herE iS a sOng dedicateD tO evEryOne.. The cAllinG - oUr liVes Is it love tonight When everyone's dreaming Of a better life In this world Divided by fear We've gotta believe that There's a reason we're here Yeah, there's a reason we're here Cause these are the days worth living These are the years we're given And these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives See the truth all around Our faith can be broken And our hands can be bound But open our hearts and fill up the emptiness With nothing to stop us Is it not worth the risk? Yeah, is it not worth the risk? Cause these are the days worth living These are the years we're given And these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives Even if hope was shattered I know it wouldn't matter Cause these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives We can't go on Thinking it's wrong To speak our minds I've gotta let out what's inside Is it love tonight When everyone's dreaming Can we get it right? Yeah, well can we get it right? Cause these are the days worth living These are the years we're given And these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives Even if hope was shattered I know it wouldn't matter Because these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives |
3,821,963 | female | 15 | Student | Leo | 16,July,2004 | waH..i m deaD beat..toDae help tHe geRs wiF f&N practicaL..hMm..weird hUh..duNo y nowaDays feel tirEd sO easily..diE..izit becoZ nv ExercisE foR lOng tiMe le..i m lyK..a batteRy..neeDed tO be recharGe tt tyPe..hAha..tmL goT gEog moCk eXaM..muZ studY woRx..cAn anyoNe teLL me whetHer dO i nEEd tO studY develOpmenT..cOz shuD be dUn neeD ritE..aiYa..tMl go scH asK..if need deN dO sOme last minutE browsinG loRx..eH eH..tMl goinG out wiF yOke liNg aNd micheLLe i thiNk to buy LipiNg's bdaE preseNt..shuD be buYing a soFt toY..coZ hearD frOm yOkes tt shE wanTs a biGgy sofT tOy..hEe..my bdaE alsO cOminG sOOn lEhx..sO fRens hu saW tiS bLog..rMb me bdaE k!!!iT's On 18th Aug..niCe nUmbeR hUh..i borN in 1988 sOmemoRe leHx..haHA..craPPy.. |
3,821,963 | female | 15 | Student | Leo | 13,July,2004 | pEngz..goodness knOws wat happen to me..aft scH feel sO exhausted and weak..had a bit of difficulties breathing..den reach hOme suddeNly feel so feverisH..siaNz..nOw got feveR..feel so giddY..muscle ache all oveR the bodY..duNo tml wan gO scH nT..maybe not..but tml got the project B planning thingy..lata i duno how to do how..reali ma fan and terribleto get sick loRx..haiz..dun wan type anymore..wan go rest again..getting reali giddy..seeing the surroundings go round n round..haha..tt's juz bin to lie ya..not tt kua zhang larx..byez.. |
3,821,963 | female | 15 | Student | Leo | 12,July,2004 | haha..the blog title anyhow write de..nth to do wif the content i m writing..juz type it in when i was listening to 'i believe' by tata young..hee..one of the verse..hmm.let mi recall wat happEn toDae..eh..o ya..pengz..my class actually spend 1 whole hr deciding the design for class t-shirt..i listen until sianz..so difficult to fit into everyone's liking..but wat to do..poor xinyi..muz be very stress..xin ku le..actually i m fine wif the design as long it is appealing to look at larx..N not tOO expEnsiVe..otherwise gonnA be brOke agaiN..hahA..another thinG..i juz found out todae jiehui quite gd at writing short stories worx..althou some of the story quite AHEM..groSS!!especially tt rat thingy..haha..but the weird thing is..jiehui wrote tt herself n yet she wanted to vomit when xinwei told her a more gross way of trting the rat..loLx..anywae..gtg do hw..erm..i mean revise..todae no hw..bleahX.. |
3,821,963 | female | 15 | Student | Leo | 11,July,2004 | Hmm..actually toDae waNna gO out de..bUt nO onE pei wO..stay at HoMe will die de..especiaLLy haV nTh tO do..oH ya..tOOpid larX..my parents weNt gambLinG agaIn..eveN my grandma alsO gO..pengz..wat's the worLd cOminG to..my grandma instead oF teLLinG deM not To gamBle actuaLLy WENT wif deM!!!argH!!but suaN le..i alSo caNNot saY anyThinG..i think dey went on leisure worLD ba..haiZ..i reali canT imagIne iF the sIngapoRe governMent decide to set up CasiNos in Singapore..pengz..den it's rEali a goner liaO..dun wanNa thinK abt it..since i noT goiNg ouT..beta finisH my Hw deN..bubBYez..zOOkz.. |
3,821,963 | female | 15 | Student | Leo | 07,July,2004 | shiT shiT shiT!!!!i haTe iT..wat The heLL..sHe is sittiNg beside Me aNd i reaLi feeL lyk retortiNg heR..y caNt i geT a raiSe iN allowaNce..it's nOt beCoz i waN To paY oFF my deBts..okIez..maYbe partiallY i dO..buT overaLL..aiya..fuCk oFf laRx..i in a daMn blooDy baD mOOd nOw anD i reali dUno whaT to saY..i juZ caNt stand iT wheN deY theMselveS bOrroW mOney frOm otHers anD yet teLl mi Not to..dUn deY nOe whaT is Yi sheN zHuO zhE..i reaLi hatE tOkkiNg tO deM nOw..juZ wanNa shUt myseLf iN my owN rOom..arGh!!i wanT tO crY..i caNt stand iT!!!i reali caNt staNd iT!!!i waNt to scReam!!!nOw for no reaSon..deY inVite a few monKs to oUr hse..oh goOdneSS saKe..iF deY aRe siNcerE deY wUn eveN gaMble kNowing it's is one of thE principLe of budhism..or waTeveR it is speLLed..shuT up..i caNt eveN staNd heariNg their Voice nOw..reaLi feel Lyk teLLinG deM to SHUT UP!!!arGH!!!!!!!i goinG bersek..i dUno y..i reali so sad anD depressEd noW..tearS arE gOnNa flOw lyK a rivEr anY MomeNt..i m tryIng to control deM..buT i canT..i beta gO and hide mYselF iN a corNer of a Hse.. |
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