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3,389,918 | female | 37 | indUnk | Aquarius | 19,May,2004 | First, you should read my profile. Having done that, we can proceed... This is mainly a place to collect all my favorite quotes, poetry, some of mine included, and websites I like... I am a large mix of many personalities and talents... this could be an interesting trip... |
3,389,918 | female | 37 | indUnk | Aquarius | 30,June,2004 | Ok. Maybe that last entry was typed with rose colored glasses on... he is a very great guy, but I never get to see him that much. haven't seen him in two weeks, or talked to him in over 1 week... I really think we could be perfect, except I need somone I can do things with... My sister (the 'golden child') has a great man. She always has great guys...and always gets her way, and has a perfect house...blah, blah, blah.... not to mention she is 6'1', about 130 wringing wet, is very pretty and very classically feminine... she has it all, always has....ANYWAY... She and her boyfriend are constantly together, doing things with his kids, and working on his farm together... he is very respected, he is the undersheriff of our county. I seem to have a sign on my forehead that says 'Losers Welcome', because that is the only group of men who ever ask me out... *sigh* Not that Steven is a loser, by all means, but he is so busy in his life, and set in his ways, he doesn't think about taking me with him to go do things, and I live 45 miles away, and most of the time he would have to pick me up because my ex-husband has my car...(long story) Anyway... life just kinda sucks, but seems I'd better get used to it, eh? |
3,389,918 | female | 37 | indUnk | Aquarius | 13,June,2004 | It never ceases to amaze me how wonderful it is to go to Steven's farm ... out in the middle of nowhere, with a half mile long driveway... it is quiet, secluded... beautiful... not to mention that Steve is the most wonderful man on the planet... I am so glad we decided to stick it out and stay together, looks like we are going to be together for a long while... He told me, 'I have finally decided to admit it...after three years, I admit that I love you, and I want more of you in my life.' then he asked me what I thought about that... I said 'It's about damn time...' LOL... Patience Perserveres... the good girl wins out in the end...lol Life couldn't get much better than this...lol |
3,389,918 | female | 37 | indUnk | Aquarius | 11,June,2004 | I have the night off... And I'm spending the day and probably the night at Steven's... I am so psyched... I hope that my patience has paid off.. He has come to a point in his life where he wants to settle down with one woman he can trust... And, he says, the only one he can trust is me... That he has always known that I was the one... Said I scared him a bit, because I understood him way more than any other woman ever has... He isn't the sort to get close to anyone, really.. But we are close, and that has bothered him in the past, but he has accepted it now... He knows I love him no matter what... We will see how it goes... I have thought this was happening in the past, only to go months without hearing from him... But maybe this is the time... I'm holding back judgment, though, I have been hurt too much before... We shall see... There are a couple of guys who have been sort of trying to get me to see them, but they are both attached... Both of them not traditionally married, but have live-in girlfriends... And I just won't go there... I talked to both of them last night, and they both made slightly jealous little comments...LOL... I am just not that sort of girl... Plus, Steven has always been the 'high standard' in my heart... No one lives up to him.... |
3,389,918 | female | 37 | indUnk | Aquarius | 09,June,2004 | Old school punk! You just say what you have to say regardless of what everyone else thinks! You're one of my most favourite types of music... You're raw and uncut! You're surrounded by hype...just don't let it make you go insane... urlLink What genre of rock are you? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla |
3,389,918 | female | 37 | indUnk | Aquarius | 08,June,2004 | I have had an on-again off-again relationship with Steven for the last three years. He goes months without calling me, but every time he calls, I go back to him... It's hard to explain, but he is exactly what I want... And if living this way is the cost of being able to be with him occasionally, I suppose its worth it... He is EXTREMELY intelligent, 6'4', 240,piercing blue eyes, very intense, disciplined, confident...But he is also very kind, and caring... He makes me feel completely safe when I am with him... And even in the months in-between, I know that if anything happens to me, I can call on him and he will be there... If anyone ever hurt me, I know he would 'take care of it'... He is a little scary, maybe, knowing what I know about the world he lives in, and some of the people he knows... But he is so strong, I have always felt like he was my 'protector'... Anyway, he has contacted me again... It is so wonderful seeing his messages, knowing he is still thinking about me, even if his life gets too complicated to call or email me at times... Maybe I will go to be with him soon, that would be wonderful...Someday, I hope to be with him all the time... But until then, I will take what I can get... |
3,389,918 | female | 37 | indUnk | Aquarius | 08,June,2004 | Arwen If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings , I would be Arwen, Elf, the daughter of Elrond. In the movie, I am played by Liv Tyler . Who would you be? Zovakware Lord of the Rings Test with Perseus Web Survey Software I would have rather been Eowyn... I think I have more in common with her... we both would rather ride into battle with the men than stay behind...we both end up falling in love with a man already taken... she and I have lots more in common I think than Arwen and I... (Although having a man like Aragorn in love with me is worth this test saying I am Arwen...lol) I do have a man I am in love with... he is sort of like Aragorn, although he has a dark side that Aragorn doesn't have... maybe he's more like Boromir...who, by the way, is the one in that movie that really drove me crazy...lol |
3,389,918 | female | 37 | indUnk | Aquarius | 02,June,2004 | Last night, my night off, I ended up working from midnight to 4:30 am because my best friend at work pulled a no-show, no-call... he showed up at 4, seems he and his girlfriend were fighting all day and he took off too mad to think about coming to work... hmmm... he'd better grow out of that, maybe take some anger management classes, and maybe get rid of the girlfriend if she's gonna be that much trouble...just because two people have a child together doesn't mean they were meant to be together forever... Anyway, I didn't have any sleep before I went in, and I was dead by the time I got home... got woke up by severe thunderstorms this morning... hail as big as shooter marbles...now its just wet and gloomy... Will be going to sleep later, have to go in to work at midnight, (my own shift this time!) This gloomy day will make for good sleeping... Found some interesting movie trailers last night... look like pretty good movies... One of them is from M. Night Shyamalan, who has done some really great movies like 'The Others', 'Signs', and 'Sixth Sense'... its called 'The Village'... can't wait to see that one... urlLink http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2483648 the other is 'Ju On: the Grudge', a Japanese horror film... it looks awesome too... urlLink http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2639981 Can you tell I like horror movies? lol... that urlLink http://www.ifilm.com/ is a great website... another one I really like is: urlLink http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/ I can't wait for my daughter to get here to watch her brother... its extremely dark in my bedroom, and its nice and cool,(maybe I lived in a cave in a former life????) and the thunder is still rumbling, and the rain falling lightly... what a great afternoon to sleep.... |
3,389,918 | female | 37 | indUnk | Aquarius | 26,July,2004 | This place is wearing on me like it did growing up here. Everyone in this town works their ass off trying to be just like every one else. Someone needs to tell them that the world does not end at the county line. We are citizens of the world, not just of Hick County. Around here, music means classic rock or country. Period. (Nothing wrong with either... I listen to those too...) I listen to Gothic, punk, alternative, jazz, R&B, soul, classical, techno, industrial, you name it... Anything but polka...LOL I have friends around the world, (online) and from all religions and races. If most of the people here knew I had friends that were Pagan, or wiccan, or heaven forbid Agnostic, I would probably be burned at the stake. I get so tired of know-it-all people who never think outside the box... I love art, and poetry, and good literature... I crave intelligent conversation, on literature, philosophy, religion... I want to be able to buy really good clothes without driving 250 miles... (I HATE Wal-Mart!) I long for coffee shops, with real cappuchino, not the powdered kind that sputters out of a machine like bad hot cocoa... A book store with a good selection, a music store that actually has the music I want (Cooper Temple Clause is an unheard of group in this God-forsaken place!!) I want to get my nose pierced without losing my job. (Yes, I was told I can't work where I work with my nose pierced!) My house is probably the only one for miles that is decorated in modern furniture and artwork... (95% of all homes here are done in 'cutsey' country... ) All women are expected to be sweet little things, quiet, 'respectful'... that isn't me either! I am tough, intelligent, and that scares most rednecks... What am I still doing here?? I wanted my son to go to a small school. Not one with rampant drugs, and teen pregnancies, and security guards... I suppose this is a small price to pay for my son, but I will be 49 years old when he is 18... Will I be too old to start my *real* life then???? |
3,389,918 | female | 37 | indUnk | Aquarius | 18,July,2004 | Why can't I just learn to say no!? Last night at work, a guy came in I hadn't seen in a while. We... Well, for lack of a better term, were 'fuck buddies' when I was in high school. He was with another woman, but while she was busy at the counter, he came back and talked to me...Flirting, hinting at things that we had done 'back then', and asked for my phone number and email... And I gave it to him! I know for a fact that he is not interested in what I am looking for... I want a real relationship, I want someone that respects me, cares about me. He just wants someone to 'play' with... I KNOW THAT, so WHY did I not just say no??!? When I married my husband, I loved him. But I also had, in the back of my mind, the thought that no one else would ever ask me to marry him, so I'd better say yes. That recording seems to be still playing in my head, as if I should feel grateful to any man who shows the least bit of attention to me. I know that is what I am doing, yet when the man is standing there I don't think about it... I don't say no... I simply grab onto the attention like a woman overboard grabbing a flotation device. I get so mad at myself sometimes... I seem to be scared to say no... I have been doing the same thing with another man, Stuart. All he is looking for is a good time... But I tell him, oh yeah, I'll call.... Instead of just telling him that we want different things, and a 'roll in the hay' is not what I want... Someday, somehow, this has got to change... But IM not sure how to get there... |
3,389,918 | female | 37 | indUnk | Aquarius | 07,July,2004 | I have a habit of constantly heading down dead-end roads, that I KNOW are dead ends. Not real roads, but life's roads... I usually ONLY am attracted to older men. I have never really been attracted to younger men. BUT... I have a friend that is 10 years younger than me that I am VERY attracted to. Not a bad thing in and of itself, BUT he has a girlfriend. A pretty permanent one. Why do I always fall for the ones I can't have? Girlfriends, wives... Every man I find myself being attracted to is already attached... Isn't there some psychological reasoning behind that?? Maybe it's just that what they say is true... All the good ones are taken... I don't know, but it drives me crazy... And HE drives me crazy... And it doesn't help that he is an incessant flirt, that just makes me feel worse... **NOTE TO GUYS: If you are otherwise attached, please don't be a tease! If you are not happy in your relationship, get out of it, THEN you can flirt... It's not fair otherwise... |
4,304,458 | female | 25 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 23,August,2004 | Even though I am exhausted after today, I must get in my rant to get a good night's sleep. My sister freakin disgusts me. I'm completely serious. Those who've kept up to date with my family drama knows what she's like, but it's like she gets more disrespectful towards my parents, me, whomever, every day. And the fact that my folks continually put up with her sh** astounds me. KICK HER OUT OF THE GOD DAMN HOUSE!! I'm sorry, she no longer has gas money to get to/from work until her next payday because she's giving it to her deadbeat, no job, I-scam-my-own-kid-because-I'm-too-lazy-to-work boyfriend. Make her walk to work Dad, take the bus, whatever. MAKE HER GROW UP!! Stop bailing her out, literally, figuratively, you name it. Just stop. Stop cosigning her bankruptcy papers, stop interrupting your day to bring her lunch, stop letting her order beer with dinner after two DUI's, stop allowing her jackass boyfriend over without backing your threats to call the cops on him. STOP ENABLING HER! I'm beyond angry at her now-- there's no point anymore. She is and will probably always be a me-me-me person, and the way she treats my parents, she can frankly go to hell at this point. But the fact that my parents keep taking it over and over, saying that they're finally going to draw the line and enforce rules but then get lazy about following up with it, I'm about ready to distance myself from all of them. If your own lives, household, health, or sanity isn't worth fighting for, nothing I can try to say anymore is going to change your minds. You pretend to listen, but apparently I'm the only one who feels your existence is worth it. Kick her out, for the love of god, and let her finally live with the consequences of her dumbass decisions. She's freakin 24; she'll learn to deal. My God! Are there any non-dysfunctional families out there anymore, seriously??? Okay, I'm done now. Really can't wait for the holidays now.... |
4,304,458 | female | 25 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 22,August,2004 | Today Travis and I went out to run a few errands and have a nibble afterwards. In an attempt to do so, however, we discovered the true meaning of hell on earth as we know it. This hell is otherwise known as U Village. You may be familiar with it, what with its trendy, overpriced department stores and coffee shops, orange-fleshed patrons pushing the pedals of their graduation-gift Lexuses with their pristine Ugg boots. Hell. We honestly could not understand what about this place made seemingly normal people such twits. Parents suddenly flinging their toddlers into the street because they, after all, do have the right of way. Stay at home moms in trendy Touregs blocking entire lanes in the parking lot so that they could selfishly have that next available spot, no matter how long the line behind her was. HELL! It all connects to a bigger picture to me, the things that rank high on my pet peeve list. It's why I hate leaving home on weekends. The chaos, the carelessness, the selfish people who think it's all about them in this world. It's making me already dread the approaching holiday season, for the love of God! I hope people don't mind more internet shopping this year; I fear that with my lowering tolerance and increasing road rage that my braking foot might fail at a very inopportune time for you, dear affluent family with your triple-seated stroller walking down the very center of the road without any regard of my approaching bumper right on your Tevas. Come now, would it really be such a shame to have one less of you out there? I thought not. |
4,304,458 | female | 25 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 21,August,2004 | Because I fear The Wraith and Hoggle equally as much, it will probably be a while before a young fellow called Kristensen will hear about my joining the blogging world. For those who do learn of my existence here, expect nothing earth-shattering or mind-blowing. You should know by now that I am a quiet one, not as politically savvy as the men-folk in my life, opinionated still but just choose to keep it to myself more often than not. So here goes, some inner thoughts. I just read some of Foutsy's previous postings, and I have to say it, he's an outright liar. When referring to the 4th's fireworks display, he states that he's 'just not as impressed with big flashy things.' And yet not a single other person could outjump him or squeal louder than his shrill soprano voice could at Tim's bachelor party. All of the other men had fallen silent at the sight of the groom-to-be's scrotal bling, but not the Fouts. It was blinding and it was magnificent. I like boobs. Most of you do too, admit it. They're one of the only true bonuses of gaining a few extra pounds, and I love it. They're squishy, they bounce just so, they help fill out an outfit just a bit more, they draw (sometimes flattering, other times creepy) stares, they're fun. Picture two octopi rubberbanded together, and poke. Neato. Last night the kids and I went to a local eating establishment and met Tim's new coworker, Gina. Sweet girl, funny, outgoing, cute for a borderline midget. I, however, hope that we can use young Gina to get to her acquaintance with a most unfortunate name. Run and hide, Tora Teenus , for you shall have no peace once you are found. |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 30,May,2004 | 'PAinkiller' The past is like a gaping hole No matter how hard you try to run from it You just find that you are running in circles You think of the cause and effect Every action you have made The scar, which the past had inflicted, cannot be healed Like a wounded bird trapped in a cage You realize that the same mistakes being made Your conscience hunted you You start to doubt yourself Asking yourself the same questions over and over again You felt weak No longer the will to walk on Prayers to god was a momentarily salvation But never was it a cure Painkillers ease but not your pain As you see your love ones One by one Vanishing into the darkness When you tried to grasp and treasure them They were all gone Your eyes were hollow, empty without life When you tried to love another Mistakes were repeated Sorrows and misery embedded Deepened and worsened |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 28,May,2004 | It is the birth of one And the evolution of another Slave to its master Yet a master to change Bending rules Forgoing the ancient laws Words carved beautiful statues Bringing them to life Beating heart beats and explosion of emotions Sorrows, love, pain and joy All intertwined Birth of life and the dawn of death All raised from its graves Only one who weaves its thread Wield its might Like a tamed lion Becoming a friend to its lord |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 27,May,2004 | A cup filled with the rainbow of colours Each signify a different meaning Some surfaced to simplicity others hid deep meanings Colours varied in different forms When blue might appear blue Often it does not I was a boy A simple boy My appearance, my shell My face, my mask My heart is so disguise I fear so much to reveal my true self Will others shy from me? Will the people who care for me leave? Will I be alone? So many questions,so many answers I need to know Fatigue washed over me like a tidal wave Maintaining the cloak sapped my strength The weight of the world weigh down upon me Nothing seems to aid Still I have to carry on Battling against an unseen enemy |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 25,May,2004 | Time past like a dragging cart I studied the sea of sweaty faces Some delighted in mirth Others solemn and distant While I struggled with my apparent task The weight of the rifle seems to drag me down Blood flowed from cuts Pain and fatigue weakened my determined mind I lick the dry skin of my lips My feet turn from flesh to lead My mind and eyes wandered As sun faded out of view The day ended The weight of responsibilities and rules lifted from my shoulders A young primary student walk past me Reminding me how fortunate they were But still they have to face the inevitable weight of responsibilities And the winding paths of failures |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 24,May,2004 | “We must not fail our duty, let us ride on!” Lysandros barked a command as he spurred his steed onwards. He muttered a silent blessing to Khaine as the fog begun to shroud the land. He and the few other scouts have lost their way among the fog, if he does not bring this message to Aldamir, the rest of the army would be in peril. Adamantios pointed ahead as a tide of darkness swarmed over the path ahead. Lysandros nodded as they rode into the trees, which provide ample cover for them. There was an order to keep silent and any communication was to be passed by hand signals. The chitterling horde marched forward, ranks and ranks of units were tightly packed together. “I hate this damn whether!” Quikchitter bared his teeth. Quikwarp who stood proudly. beside him nearly squirted the musk of fear as he tried to push it back. He was honored to be invited by the Grey seer to ride upon the Cauldron of thousand poxes. As the cauldron went it releases terrifying screams and laughter, which would even send chill down the spin of a dragon. Quikchitter pondered about where will be their next destination, the arrogant Quikwarp was almost too proud he should have let him walked with the rest of the army. “ Quikwarp I have an important task for you.” “What is your wish? Most potent of potentates,” He replied boldly as he swings his tail around excitedly. “I need you to go down and check to see if the ratling guns are working well, recently there seems to be some minor malfunction,” Quikchitter spoke rapidly spurting saliva into the cauldron of thousand poxes. Only to be responded by hideous hissing sound. His ears lowered and lost his enthusiasm as he heard the bad news. He muttered silent cures to the Grey seer and half hopingly that he hadn’t heard it. He made his way down the filthy corpses as he pinched his nose, he wondered how could the Grey seer have stand to all these perhaps he have a spell which could remove this repugnant smell. It was all too possible; the selfish Grey seer would not impart his arcane arts to anyone. As he walked towards his own company of clan Skyre rats, he thought he had smelled something. Among the smell of furs and rats, he smelled something unusual as he tried sniffing harder. “Elves!” He curse the day that he had been born, the foul rats have spotted them. If they were to ride out from here they would be swarmed by hundreds of rats. There would be no chances of survival. If they were to abandon their horses here they would not make it in time to deliver the message. But sacrifices were needed to be made. He signaled one of men and whispered into his ears. His face betrayed incomprehension but swiftly nodded and proceeds to task. The Grey seer stood upon the surveying his army as pride swelled within him. He attempts a grasp at the winds of magic. Gathering a small globe of energy in his hands, he blasted a slave pulling the cauldron. The rat expanded and contracted his eyes were red and was swelling to a point of bursting. Poxes and symptoms of diseases appeared on his skin. And soon the rat exploded leaving only a pile of bones producing putrid smells. “Faster, faster, quick, quick!” The Grey seer snarled as he lashed out with his whip. Suddenly, bells were rung and he knew they were being attack. Anger and rage boil within him as he wondered who dared an intrusion into his army. The frenzied monks broke of the ranks and gave chased towards their enemy. Shouting war cries and froth and phlegm’s dripped from their mouth. Quikchitter quickly cast a spell of vision, and so he could see clearly what was disturbing their flanks. The vision shifted in and out, blurring images and palpable ones. The spell stabled as he could see a horse running away from his army. “Stupid fools, its only a horse,” he spoke softly under his breath. A green light glowed madly on his fingers, sending the shadows dancing like a mad caper on the ground. He incanted the ancient words of his ancestors and unleashed a streak of green lighting towards the escaping horse. Reducing it into a pile of dust. The blood frenzied monks gave up as they saw there was nothing to kill and hurried back to bolster the ranks of the army. A boyish smile appeared on his face as he savors the victory. “ Well done men.” Lysandros spoke softly but just enough for the elves to hear. |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 23,May,2004 | The young elf ducked as a blade shimmered past, at the same time lashing out and hamstringing his brutish foe. The orc gave a deafening roar and fell to the ground like a huge tree shaking the ground. The thin elf stepped aside nimbly, avoiding the collapsing bulk. Drawing his dagger, he bent down and delivered the killing blow. The champion looked up from the dead body and saw that his comrades weren’t doing so well. Many of them had fallen before the orcish onslaught. He knew any moment from now would mean life and death. He raced with elegant steps across the slaughter ground avoiding the corpses on the ground. “To me!” Mansuetus commanded as he raises his sword high so everyone could see. Within minutes the elves formed a circle around him raising their spears high threatening anyone who comes within a metre length. He surveyed his disciplined soldiers proudly. The well-trained elves did not fail him. A few orcs made a daring attempt trying to carve its way through but only ended but with spears through his torso. “ Hold! Elves and you would live. Expect no quarters, for you would give them none!” The leader bellowed and every elf shouted in a single tone.” Hundred of orcs surrounded them waiting for a hole the defenses. A few orcs again made daring attempts but soon ended up dead. It seems the orcs weren’t as patient, Mansuetus thought as a smirk appeared on his face. “ On my command, you would send this brutes to wherever they came from!” He shouted a command in the ancient language to the crossbowmen. The crossbowmen loaded their crossbow and nodded in understanding. Finally the orcs patient was at an end, the green skins roared and shouted war cries in their primitive language. “Now!” the champion signaled and spears was leveled to the eye and sound of crossbows unleashing death. This was what he savored every moment as the orcs lumbered into the wall of spikes. Steel met steel, blood splattered everywhere and sound of screams and shouts filled the air. “ Fight on my elves and fight well for this day you will replenish the blood within your armors!” Mansuetus charged in fray of combat, slashing and hacking as he went. An orc twice the shoulder length of him and was the largest orc he had ever seen. The massive orc bawled a challenge, and was quickly answered. Through the visor he stare into the eye of his foe trying to anticipate his every move. The orc wield his axe menacingly and gave an evil laughter. “Fle’ be fo ma, da wil‘ na de fet ma.” His voice boomed loudly as he made his unstoppable assault. Mansuetus parried with every ounce of strength and speed he could muster. Strands of hair flew as he avoided the humongous axe only by an inche. He saw an opening and made a riposte attack only to see his blade bouncing harmlessly off the orc tough hide. What would appear a grin appeared on the orc ugly face. Beads of perspiration dripped down his delicate face. He was panting heavily and he felt he could not hold off the assault anymore. His bones ache like a rusty mechanism. His green skin foe seems to be tireless only to be laughing and fighting. Fear gripped him like a vice. Darkness descended. His eyes were wide opened, he groaned in pain. Blood streamed down from his open wound. Every strands of strength was sapped away from him, he could no longer feel his legs, and his limbs were drained. He dropped his axe and crashed into the ground. Mansuetus took moments to realize that a shadowy figure was at the standing at the back of the orc general. He wanted to laugh at the moment but could not. From the shadows came a calmed voice, “Thou have done well Mansuetus, champion of fifth regiment of the Shadow Warriors.” Only to realized he was the assassin, whom his general had spoken well of Mansuetues made a courtly bow and said, “ I thank thee for thine compliment for if thou wouldst have saved me, and I wouldst have fallen to these cursed orcs.” “The battle is over, assemble the elves and have them report back to the camp immediately,” he spoke softly. Mansuetus nodded and said, “Yes, my lord.” Mansuetus walked into his simple house, he took off his armour and took his scabbard and hang it by the side. “Mansuetus! You are finally home I was so worried about you.” Mliara said excitedly as tears swelled in her eyes. She was a beautiful woman, with striking features and fine figure. She ran over to embrace him, and kissed him deeply. Fatigue of the battle and heat of love conflict, and he spoke softly, “I missed you greatly, but I am tired now I wish to rest.” He gave a reassuring smile and wiped the tears softly away from her face. “I have prepared your clothing and when you have finish bathing, we can have a good feast tonight.” He took up his fresh clothing and walked over to the river. He could see the clear water flowing gushing down the endless river. The wind blew softly and the leaves rustled. He stripped off his bloodstained tunic and entered the refreshing water. He rested on the rocks by the riverbank and enjoys the peaceful and soothing ambience. Life was too perfect for a moment he had a caring and lovely wife and recently he was promoted to captain of his regiment. The extra income would provide a better life for his wife and he himself. He opened his eyes lazily not knowing for how long he had slept. Suddenly sound of splashing water made him jumped to his feet. He quickly put on the robes his wife had sewn for him and with drew the dagger in his boots. He sneaked among the bushes, his natural talents made him moving like a cat, among the bushes. He crouched down and to his horror he saw bands of men dressed in barbaric helms and leather clothing wading through the river. He quickly made his way back to his house and put on his battle equipment. He and his wife quickly made their way out of the house. Every second lost would mean life and death. They ran as fast as their legs could carry them. Suddenly shouts could be heard. Mansuetus heart raced, as he knew the enemy had spotted them. Mliara tripped on a piece of rock and fell, blood was spotted on her knees. “Mliara!” shouted the battle-trained warrior. “I can..not…..go on any fur..ther, Mansuetus you must…carry on!” she slurred as tears burst forth from her. “My love I cannot go on without you, if we must die we must die together.” He ran back and carries her on the back. “You cannot run fast enough if you would carry me, they would soon catch up with us.” Perspiration streamed down his face, muscles tensed as he ran with all his might. Sound of his pursuers came closer and closer; he knew with every step they make they would be one more step towards the city. The chaos men were coming closer and closer. He fought on against the endless tide. What would have seemed forever, he thought ended with a loud thud sound. Droplets of blood glittering in the sun spurted forth. Grief and sorrow overwhelmed him. He stopped and slowly put her down by the side of a tree. An arrow protruded through her chest. “I’m sorry my loved one,” she said drawing all the energy within her. Her eyes closed and he knew she was dead. He gripped his sword and there was a glint of madness in his eyes. Blood course through his veins. He invoked the name of Khaine and turned around to face the chaos worshippers. A muscular man held a bow in his hand and smiled, happy that he had shot the target but soon his smile was gone as he head rolled off to the ground. Mansuetus, captain of fifth regiment of the Shadow Warriors fought with frenzy and hatred. He was cutting left and right beheading anyone who come within the tip of his blade. The chaos worshippers soon learn to fear him, they surrounded him and no one dared to attempt an attack. He glared menacingly at his foes, if it was as if just a look of his eyes to even cause fear in the heart of a stout dwarf. He swings his blade in a sinister way. Light danced off from his blood-forged armour, the runes on his sleeves glowed brightly. Instead of waiting he lunged forward skewering the groin and hamstringing another. More chaos men formed up around him. Only rage and sorrow were gushing through him. In his eyes he knew no fear. Regardless of his own life he charged into the tide. Hacking and slashing and hewed a path though the chaos men. But slowly he was overwhelmed no matter how fast he could dodge or strike he was unable to. The chaos men swarmed down on him and held him tightly. He roared in rage and bit his teeth into his tongue the sweet taste of blood filled his mouth. Veins were bulging up as he struggled frantically. A group of elves charged into the fray and it was all too much for the chaos worshippers. They turned and fled ignoring leaving their weapons on the ground. Mansuetus lay on the ground filled with cuts and bruises. A huge scar was evidently marked on his armour only missing his flesh only by a few inche. His eyes were vacant; he felt life has no meaning with the death of his wife. “We spotted this band after a few peasants had sounded the alarm. We apologies for the late arrival.” The leader’s words contained sympathy and fear. He ordered two of his men to aid him to stand. Their faced betrayed irritation as they tried to push it back. Mansuetus staggered across to his wife and knelt beside her. Tears swelled in his eyes, as he buried his head in his wife hair. “ Please wake up my love, I beg of you.” |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 23,May,2004 | Friends are like ships Anchored their lines by the harbor Each secrete their own goods Revealing only the hull Whether they bring wealth or disasters Cannot be foretold Some anchored for long others drift into the vast empty seas Some grow stale and become constant companions |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 23,May,2004 | I looked upon the world A pulsing light Growing every minute Daring and brave was I I challenge its unknown might Blood was spilled Tainted the lands A new champion arises Such was its might I was imprisoned Chained to the bounds of eternity Strength and life was drained from me The brightness in my eye flickered and faded Sorrows and agony clenched my heart Fatigue was my constant companion Memories and nightmares haunted me The aura of it presence tremble me every moment Flesh rot and hang from my whitish limbs The seductive allure of hell draws me towards it Writing the last sentence of my life I watched my life flashed before me Like a rat was I Staring at the unassailable titan Witnessing my blade turning to dust My armor my faith swept away with the currents My shield my honor is what I have left Crows and vultures flew the skies covering the sun to an eclipse Jokers and minstrels both sang and mock at my foolishness Perusing his poems And studying mine Looking down at my own demise Drowned my heart and soul |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 30,June,2004 | urlLink 'Church' Bells rang of my failures Rows of empty seats marked my mind Sorrows came instead of prayers Vanishing briliance of gems, faded my eyes Tapestries hung torn and tattered,worn my facade Tainted walls, wounded my soul Flames flickerd against the winds And darkness flown with the chill |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 28,June,2004 | 'Splinters Love' Dawn of the sun Is the end of night The end of summer Is the onlslaught of winter So many times When you love someone Even loving was painful When the love was broken So much does the splinters of love hurt the heart The birth of love Is the dawn of joy And the end of love Is the renewal of pain |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 24,June,2004 | 'The puppet' His eyes sparkled A smile brightened his face He danced in the lucid night Twirling and spinning He sang songs equal of a bard Graceful was his movements and his soul and body became one Kings and queens were dazzled by his arts Servants and slaves paused in awe Time drags on And kings yawned Time and his mind became mine Strings attached, Snapped and torned His purpose was fulfilled And so he was to end A smile faded his off his face |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 21,June,2004 | 'The deer' Eyes darted Ears perked Shuffling sound of dead leaves, Fingers of the frigid wind caressed the innocent soul Muscles and sinews tensed Watchful eyes watched its prey And wolves howl in triumphant Dark clouds shrouded the moon Shadows danced back and forth Signalling the end |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 21,June,2004 | There have been times in my life when I have felt helpless.It is perhaps the most acute pain a person can know, founded in frustration andand ventless rage.The nick of sword upon a battling soldier's arm cannot compare to the anguish a prisoner feels at the crack of a whip. Even if the whip does no strike the helpless prisoner's body, it surely cuts deeply at his soul. We all are prisoners at one time or another in our lives, prisoners to ourselves or to the expectations of those around us. It is a burden that all people endure, that all people despise, and that few people ever learn to escape. I perhaps are one of them who cannot escape the bound of reality. Sometimes living for others seems like the only choice, we in life are chained by society and law. Do we have to follow? |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 20,June,2004 | 'Five for fighting' Song I can't stand to fly I'm not that naive I'm just out to find The better part of me I'm more than a bird I'm more than a plane I'm more than some pretty face beside a train And it's not easy to be me I wish that I could cry Fall upon my knees Find a way to lie 'Bout a home I'll never see It may sound absurd But don't be naive Even heroes have the right to bleed I may be disturbed But won't you concede Even heroes have the right to dream And it's not easy to be me Up, up and away, away from me Well it's alright You can all sleep sound tonight I'm not crazy or anything I can't stand to fly I'm not that naive Men weren't meant to ride With clouds between their knees I'm only a man in a silly red sheet Digging for kryptonite on this one way street I'm only a man in a funny red sheet Looking for special things inside of me, inside of me Inside of me, yeah inside of me, inside of me I'm only a man in a funny red sheet I'm only a man looking for a dream I'm only a man in a funny red sheet And it's not easy… It's not easy to be me |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 16,June,2004 | 'The hierachical order' Blades tore skies apart Lightning splits the wounded bird Silent winds swept the lands asunder Angry clouds darkened the skies Scythe of reapers plough the cities Lucid dreams haunted in forms of echoing shadows Treachery spoke louder than compassion Every corner was a silent dagger, And a coup practiced neater than a courteous bow Even masters contorted in fear While slaves waited for the darkness to descend Shadows rise and fall unendingly |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 14,June,2004 | Unsurprisingly, it is the 14 of june. I have been spending my time most often in Npcc, but many things have past that worthed my attention and pondering. The Angel Well over my days i must say, i have valued and tried to learn as much as possible. I read the book, Woman can't read maps and men just can't listen. Haha, strange choice ehh? It made me understand the difference between men and woman and why such difference exist, and what we can do to prevent pressing the red button. Now i move on to a new book written by a famous and good writer, R.A Salvatore who wrote many good series. I have only managed to the first book among the hundreds. Other than that, it has been most satisfying to win another battle against the odds. Perhaps i have played too long and the expierance have been instilled upon me or perhaps my opponent needed more time. Another attributes which i have gained over the days was being able to control myself over problems and everything. Being composed in difficult or tough situations is a most useful skill. I have to thank warhammer for that...haha The devil There are always evil thoughts which sprouted in my youthful mind. Sometimes it pays to heed its call but i must not be misled. Now i realise more that firends are the essential ladder steps to climb to the top. But perhaps it is nothng more than a evil thought. Still it makes sense, other than simple ladder steps friends provide companionship and someone to talk to. Now i must try to get rid of it.Begone creature of hell! The dark Since from last week, my good cousin or rather my best friend had left for army. I miss his companionship and a listener for my sorrows and joys, and nevertheless some good laughters.Still i cant change anything it is beyong my capability to prevent it. Though I was glad that he was positive about it instead of frowning. Npcc has took up most of my time, spending my time sitting on iron steel chairs and listening to chants. Much time is wasted, a good thing is i can practice my body language reading. Managed to read a few but still i'm not very good at it. The shooting competition was of my msot regret in this past ten days? Yes it was the most regretful thing. I didnt expect that i have enough time, so i didnt aim for the shooting competition. I have only managed to score a score of 93 which was fairly poor although i pass. I didnt try my best was the worst mistake i have commited!Now i truly wish for a time machine. |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 10,June,2004 | 'Knowledge' Pages withered, wise and old Pages flipped, dust fluttered high and low Worn and tattered hid its view from common man Centuries flickered in the light of words The wise wrote its course And the lesser ones seek its enchantment |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 08,June,2004 | 'Truth of reality' As I sat on the sun set hill How the scenery seems mundane compared to you Looking into your enchanting eyes The presence of you gladdens my heart And your words sweeten my soul Time stopped parallel to space Holding your warm hands, seeped the strands of love You are the one Who I’m willing to sacrifice for upon the altar of love To brave through the flames of hell To don the shinning armor and be your knight To hear your sorrows and despairs To understand and love you But when the dawn of reality shines upon me How I realize This was all an elusive dream There is no everlasting love No true love Every lie renders me apart Leaving me torn and tattered in an inevitable demise Dark devils fed my soul And men mocked my foolishness Winter now prey upon the land Leaving it bare and dead Life faded into the whispering wind |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 05,June,2004 | Warmth||||||||||||||||||58% Intellect|||||||||||||||||||||70% Emotional Stability||||||||||||||||||||||||74% Aggressiveness||||||||||||||||||58% Liveliness|||||||||||||||42% Dutifulness||||||||||||||||||||||||78% Social Assertiveness|||||||||||||||||||||66% Sensitivity|||||||||||||||||||||66% Paranoia||||||||||||||||||||||||||||86% Abstractness||||||||||||||||||||||||78% Introversion|||||||||||||||||||||66% Anxiety||||||||||||||||||||||||74% Openmindedness||||||||||||||||||||||||||||86% Independence|||||||||||||||||||||62% Perfectionism||||||||||||||||||58% Tension|||||||||||||||||||||66% |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 02,June,2004 | 'Power of love' They say angels birth from hell And devils warp from heaven No one knew the truth When time fled into space And space into time None shelter it with concern When love seeks to blind the heart of the lonely one None forsee its path As the blinding of love unbind it self The legends of knights in shinning armor reincarnated The soul of saints rebirth And the blessing of the gods shone once again Such awe and splendour Hidden in the seed of love itself |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 02,June,2004 | 'Flashes of life' The winds blew the memories of the dead The past flashes like a train Emotions swelled to pain, sadness and joy Familiar faces carved into the graves Something emerged triumphant The icy cold swept up in a torrent devouring the warm and lush air Like a man frozen with no feelings, thoughts nor love |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 31,July,2004 | I drunk myself with wine |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 30,July,2004 | They say there is nothing we cannot overcome in life What of times when steel of determination were cut open by the blade of love? Fallen so many times to dark pits Hurt, torn and shattered. They say men should have no fear But to me the world was divided by fears Fears that could end everything Fears that others would not understand And I Fear that love could end a friend Why must the tears linger for the winter’s chill? When will the sun shine the light? When will the rain wash away all the wounds? |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 28,July,2004 | 'One chance' |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 26,July,2004 | It was her face which etched clearly in my mind |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 24,July,2004 | Shower of rain hid tears of a man Clouds of bewilderment cover truth from lies Where his smile secrete every sorrow |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 16,July,2004 | 'Wounded soul' |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 15,July,2004 | Love, present, past and the future Where art thou? I left my dreams and hopes As the light shimmer of memories To a new land, I am there Smashing the mirror, I knew there was no way back Ruins of past and present lay before me Am i to find the one who i love and who love me not, in the midst of the sunless lands? Where the wind seems an absent vacuum And the air tainted with death My home? I do not know There seems not a presence of a smoke nor shadow AS i tread lifeless waste I found a charcoal sheet Upon it wrote ' July 2 Year 3210 ' |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 09,July,2004 | Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing. |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 05,July,2004 | There were so many times When i look into her eyes but yet she shun them from me So many times Is there an end? I knew i must leave But where? Perhaps somewhere where I can find love and care or perhaps a dark corner where i can cry alone I do not know.. Treading upon the silent street Hands warmed by my side Eyes cast down Every step leads me into the oblivion The lingering pain in my heart was my solitude companion and none could take it from me |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 05,July,2004 | Fatigue reverberate though the ear Deep lines of wrinkles carved in depth Dark lines embedded by the eyes Pensive thoughts swam in the hollow pool Influx of memories flooded like streams of river Yet tainted and impure it was Strands of white brushed softly against the wind And eyes faded to dark thoughts Where death stalks in the shadow Wisdom and knowledge dwindled into the vast ocean |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 01,July,2004 | urlLink Are we the slave to our mind in life?Going towards directions that we knew were wrong, yet we went ahead.When you love someone even when you know there will only be pain, you yearn for her, listen to her voice, listen to her sorrows and sacrifice everything for her happiness. Slave we are to the mind, holding us to the chains of the overmind.Even when the one you love betrayed you, often we would just cling on to the illusion which our mind fed us.Love is such a strange feeling, no amount science or maths can measure or decipher what it feels like.Even words could not descibe.... 'The ones you love most, is the ones who hurt you most' Prince of shadow... |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 07,August,2004 | Standing by the window Watching the bright stars shine their light Seeing her face in my mind Listening to the song of the nightingale Feeling the soft caress of the wind Dwelling in solitude -- Pieces of puzzle Fixed on piece by piece I knew so many answers Yet I fear to face them -- Call me a liar, a fool But I hear not of them If there was a chance to spin the wheels of time To reach the tunnel of past and present To staunch wound which bleed in my heart -- I would still say |
3,429,420 | male | 15 | Student | Aquarius | 05,August,2004 | When I saw everything cumbling before me |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 28,May,2004 | I'm at work eating lunch right now. A turkey scamich and a 'Courage' Sobe, those commies don't have Green Tea in the machine. I have been thinking about writing another game but don't know what to write. I thought about doing a combat clone (like the old atari 2600 combat tank game) but that is a little too basic. A big problems I have with making games is my lark of a real artist. I gave up on my Rolling Thunder(tm) style game because it was really hard to stay excited about a bunch of odd chapes moving around on the screen. I want to make an adverture type game with swords and stuff, but that's probably because I've had Zelda on the brain recently. I wonder if the Zelda games are named specifically after Zelda Fitzgerald...I guess I'll never know. I like top down shooters, maybe I'll make another one of those. Earth Defender B was kinda lame, though it still ranks as my only game with sound effects. For the people reading what kind of 2D game would you like to see, maybe a puzzle game? I don't know. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 27,May,2004 | Well,I just got out of my last class of the semester. The final wasn't that hard except for one problem that I didn't do because I didn't even know where to start. The only class I'm worried about is Linear Algebra, or as it should be called 'Hard ass shit that I'll never remember and barely understand in the first place'. Man, I thought Calc 2 was tough. I'll take problems dealing with the surface area of graphs rotated into 3-space any day over these problems. I really hope I get a C or B in this class. If I did worse on the final than I though then I could get a D. If that happens then this semester is a total waste. I need so many more math classes than anything else that to not pass one puts off my graduation by one more semester. The fact that I can't take any math classes this summer semester is, for me, a total travisty. Add to that the fact that I can't take ANY classes this summer and I'm pretty bummed about that. I was hoping to at least be able to take another yoga class or a programming class, or an art class. But no, nothing fits my work schedual. I feel like I should want to party because I'm done with school for a little while but I really don't. As much as I can't stand individual people I like to be around people in general and school is a great way to do this. Now I'll have nothing to do on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I guess I could look for another job for the summer, but that would be lame too. OHH SHIT!! I got it, I can try being a dealer at a casino,I've always wanted to do that. Man that would be so sweet, I would be standing there and be all like 'Sir would you like to hit or stand...' and he would say 'Hit me' and I would give him another card and then I would probably say 'Ohh Sorry sir, I guess you shouldn't have hit' and then I'll take his money. The only problem is that the only casino within driving distance (for me) is Casino San Pablo and playing blackjack there is like playnig golf underwater, it doesn't work the way it's supposed to and it just isn't fun. Well, now I don't have anything to do for several hours. Ohh well, maybe I should just be depressed about it or something... |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 26,May,2004 | I can't believe that no one has commented on my Zelda post. Surely I'm not the only one that sees not only one, but the prospect of TWO new Zelda games as momentous news. Hmm...there is indeed something wrong with this world. I was much later for work than normal today, my alarm clock may be broke or something. It better wake my ass on time for my comparitive politics final tomorrow. I brought home a broken Palm m515 (or some similar model number) from work today with high hopes to take it apart and finally get a part I need to fix my Palm Zire 71. After 30 minutes of using various tools to break apart the Palm I finally extracted the tiny ribbon cable that I needed only to find that the connector on one end is different. What a bunch of damn communazi jerks. I was so let down. I wasn't even mad (at first). Oh well, it's not like I'll die without a PDA. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 25,May,2004 | Yesterday I was driving somewhere and Mongolia crossed my mind. I realized that I knew nothing at all about the country. I have a vague notion that at one point in history mongol hordes swept across the land killing a bunch of people and stuff, but after they got beat back did they just become hermits? When was the last time you rememberanything happeneing there, or them doing anything at all in the world? Never. After Mongolia I started thinking about Portugal. You never hear anything about Portugal either. I can understand Mongolia, it's way the hell out of the way near Siberia. It may even be part of Russia or China these days. But Portugal, man they're right there on the edge of Europe. I never hear anything, and I mean anything about portugal. I remember talking about WWII in school. We leraned that Spain was neutral during the war, we knew about how pretty much every European country stood, every one aside from Portugal. What happened to them, did they just vanish after the age of exploration....has anyone bothered to check!!! Since I'm obviously on the internet right now I know that I could just read about these places, but that would be too easy. I think it's time that T.V. started informing us about countries that it doesn't really talk about already. We need to hear about Mongolia, Portugal, Estonia, and others I don't know that name of because I never hear about them. STOP THE GEOGRAPHICAL ELITISM. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 25,May,2004 | I've just checked out the page for the new Zelda game and I have to say that I can't wait for it to come out. After the big pile of dog poo that was the Ledgend of the Windwaker I'm so glad that they decided to make the Zelda game that people want, not try to reinvent the series as a cartoon that you play. At first, when looking at the screenshots, I was a little confused. I thought 'Hey, these are screenshots of 'A link to the past''. Then I realized that there wern't four Links in that game. However this game does indeed use many of the same graphics that were used in 'Link to the Past'. Hopefully it will also include the dark world and stuff, though this game looks prettty triforce free. Well, I guess you can't have everything, even though I really really would like to have the Triforce of wisdom....hint hint... Oh yeah, stuff has happened in my life since yesterday, but it hardly seems worth talking about considering this Zelda news. UPDATE: I have learned that there is another Zelda game in the works . This one is 3D and looks like it will give little kinds and grown-ups alike nightmares that will put them off sleep for days. Just check out the screenshots, the one with Link fighting the GIANT ASS DEMON looked scarey as hell. I saw that guy and figured it had to be all over for Link, I really don't see how the little guy can pull off a victory aginst what looks like a 5 story building of a demon. Ohh man, I can't wait for this shit.....I wish I could freeze myself in carbonite or something untill this shit comes out. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 24,May,2004 | Read this and rejoice (unless you live in South Carolina) That's right folks, coming soon to a South Carolina near you, Christian Fundamentalism!!! They plan to break away from the nation to form an independant christian country, lets all pray that they get it. I'm sick of my federal tax dollars going to other states and having them still look down on California, it's like 'Hey assholes, we may have a screwy economy but we're still the piggy bank of the nation, where do you think you get your farm subsidies? Stalin Claus?'. Shit, we're (California) like the ugly step-child of the US, we give all our money and get back insults in return. Well it's time to rejoice that one of the other jerk states is going to bail. As an added bonus they are supposedly taking 50,000 nutjobs away from other states. Woohoo! You're going to stop taking our money and remove a bunch of nutjob chiristian fundamentalists...man...can I donate to your cause? |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 22,May,2004 | Well, I guess I lied. I have been updating this blog, more even than the others I know with blogs update theirs. I guess I should have called it 'Don't read my boring ass blog that has bad spelling and doesn't have any updates you will care to read because I never really do anything important anyways.', but that title seems a bit long. Before I forget I'd like to give a big shoutout to Isabella Wunder for linking to me, though she could have used slightly better link text than 'Boring Ass' but I guess you have to take it how it comes. I'd also like to give a big shout out to Miss Macy and Ember I guess the Benicia crew is in da house or off the hook something. Reguarding my dreams, it seems that my sunconscious picked up on my distaste for my recent dreams and game me a little treat last night. I had a dream I was playing a dope ass team based FPS similar to Tribes but with really good graphics and you could control players with your mind. However it wasn't all good, I had to put the game system together before I could play the game and even then my step dad was watching the whole time grunting about wanting to watch tv. Damn...don't get any peace anywhere... |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 22,May,2004 | Lately I've been having the more boring lame dreams ever. Being stuck trying to turn right at a country road stopsign, trying to play pool but not being able to find a pool que, arguing with someone about the use of mercenaries in the war in Iraq. While I'm sure that all this is just dripping with deep meaning and insight both into my own mind and into the true nature of human society I just with that the way this insight were conveyed was a little more interesting or exciting. Why can't I have dreams where I'm superman or something and I just fly around and save people....that would be so rad. Anyways, my subconscious mind aparently wants me to know that hiring mercenaries in Iraq is cheaper than sending our own troops because we don't have to pay for six months of training, during which time we have no extra troops. I hadn't thought about this point before having it told to me in a dream, odd that a part of me is spending time thinging about arguemnts to support things I'm against. What a jerk. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 21,May,2004 | Sometimes I fancy myself as a fiction writer. And since fiction is more interesting than describing the fact that I took some test yesterday or that I talked to someone the I hadn't seen in a while I guess I can write some here and have almost no one read it anyway. I removed the story I was writing, it was leaving the realm of bloggable short story and entering the realm of longish tale. Plus it was boring and uninspired. I still like the idea of the story with only really reflects the experiances I've had in office work. It's funny how you got to places and everything seems to run smoothly, but then you get a job there and you realize that it's like one big balancing act and it's amazing that everything doesn't come crashing down all the time. My favorite was when I work in customer service. Man, I didn't know crap about the products people were asking me about, no one did. Ohh well. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 19,May,2004 | I just read this story and I have to say that I don't normally get this pissed of at the sad state of affairs anymore, but this one really got me going. It seems that this principal fancies hiseld as the thought police for the school. One person wrote a poem he doesn't agree with and not only does he call the student un-American, fires the teacher that sponsers the poetry club, terminates the teaching of poetry in the school but also removes all student art from the walls of the school and doesn't renew the contracts of teachers that leave art in their classrooms. I can't believe that this commie has the nerve to call someone un-American. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 19,May,2004 | Unluckily for you you have somehow landed here, on my blog. I fail to grasp why one would want to read my blog, however I have to admit that I don't exactly have the most favorable view of blogs that can be had. I have been known to say, and still say that they are one of the biggest wastes of time known to man, and one that offers the fewest rewards. So, why then am I posting this? Well, for two reasons; one, I wanted to post comments on another blog that doesn't allow anonymous comments, and two, I'm the one wasting your time. I have to think about my life anyways, now I'm making you do it too.....ha ha, sucker. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 30,June,2004 | After reading this news story I knew I had to write about it for a couple different reasons. First off, as long as she isn't butt ugly I doubt many boys were very thrown by this punishment. I know I know, it damages them physomindaly or something but come on, how many boys alreay have little fantasys about their teachers and now they have one asked if then want to be caned or to suck on her breasts. Man, some guys would shoot their loads just thinking about that setup. All joking aside it always irks me how little attention is payed to woman on boy sexual abuse. I know this took place in another country but it happens here and it never gets the same kind of media coverage or reaction than when the perpetrator is male. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 25,June,2004 | It's strange to think that every person is like a walking universe. Every person sees things through their own perspective and with their own thoughts coloring what they see. You would think that with all this uniqueness of thought and perspective going around there would be many different personalities and a real sense of individualism to go with it, but there's not. For as far as people have gone group affiliation still seems to be a driving force in society. It's like once we stopped living in tribes and towns got too large for everyone to know everyone else we had to create tribes of our own, and in order for these tribes to have meaning and consistency in our large society each member of these neo-tribes must conform to an even stricter set of guidelines than would be necessary in an average tribal society. It's funny how every group seems to think that they are unique and that they are true individuals, however most members of a group almost always dress the same, or at least very similarly. I swear to god that if I see one more of those 'You laugh at me because I am different, I laugh at you because you're all the same' shirts I'm going to barf all over the person wearing it and them that I'm laughing at them because they think they're 'different' while wearing a shirt that could have it's own wearers convention I've seen so many people wearing it. Every person has the capacity to have so many interests it's not funny, sometimes I think I bore people to death talking about my own, but I've noticed that many people never seem to have any real interests. It's almost like people are afraid of being kicked out of their neo-tribe if they express an interest in something that none of the others like. Each group has it's own safe area it could be literature, music, clothes, style, whatever, and you will often hear people talking about those things, but not so much about other things. I think it's important to note that I'm not talking about friends, there is a difference between a group like the neo-tribe that I'm talking about, and a group of friends. It's also important to note that my friends kick ass and that I'm not talking about any of them. However, I am talking about many people I do to school with at DVC. It's strange to walk around campus and hear people talking about the dumbest most meaningless shit. It's even stranger to try to talk with people and try to talk about meaningful things, not like the meaning of life or anything just about things that actually interest people (what they plan to do after school, where they grew up, hobbies...), and have them get all uncomfortable and leave. I don't know if people think I'm hitting on them or what but almost every time I talk to someone like an adult with full comprehension abilities rather than talk to them like they are children (how are you? I like your hat? the sky is nice...) they end up looking at me like I'm nuts. The other end of that spectrum are people that try to talk about the craziest thing they can to prove how different they are. Somehow these people annoy me even more than people that talk about nothing because it just seems that they are forcing something that isn't there. It would be as if I talked about the goatse man with everyone I met. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 23,June,2004 | This is kind of a continuation of a previos story line in my blog and has to do with my job. If my readers will remember I have been in trouble with my boss for not doing a good job and coming in late and basically being a bad horrible person. Well imagine my surprise when I came to work today to find a 'Spirit Award' sitting on my desk. These are given out to employees that capture the spirit of the hospital workplace and go above and beyond what is expected of them. Do they know who they gave it to? The best part is that it can be handed out by any manager and I got one from my bosses boss. This doesn't change my work situation at all, but man was I surprised. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 22,June,2004 | I've been working on my new game for a little while now it's coming along okay. I have a lot of good ideas and am starting to flush them out before actually setting about writing them into code. Recently I've been working on implementing a 2D SDL based particle engine. I've had a few problems because unless I use single pixels for particles I can't figure out how to color them. So I would have to have different particles drawn in each color I would want , or have all particles be the same color. It's so much easier to do in OpenGL. Half the game effects I have planned are particle effects so if I can't figure out how to do them in SDL I may have to do the partiels in OpenGL, I know there is a way to use OpenGL with an SDL window, I just han't read up on how yet. Right now I'm working on this game less than any others I have worked on in the past. By this point in time on my missile command clone I had already finished an OpenGl particle engine and setup all the particle effects I would use in that game. My lack of work is mostly because I spend more time playing pool than doing almost anything else, aside from sleeping and 'working'. I need a laptop that can boot and get on my network in about 5 seconds, that way I could just transfer to my laptop and take it with me everywhere. But it's too much work shuffeling code around all the time, and wanting to go out but having to wait for the laptop top boot and then copy over the files. If the USB on my home computer actually worked I guess I could just use a thumb drive to move things around. But alas it does not work. ASUS makes some great boards, but this one isn't exactly the greatest. Maybe I should buy a new motherboard and processor and shuffel this one to my windows system. Hmmmm....my birthday is coming and a nice new ASUS board with a gig of RAM would look mighty fine under the tree. With a nice P4, ohh man, that would be so sweet. The only thing sweeter would be a dual processor board with TWO nice P4s nad TWO gigs of RAM and maybe a 10 gig solid state hard drive. Well, time to go play some pool I guess. At least I did write a few lines of code today. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 18,June,2004 | Yesterday was, all in all, a pretty good day. Even if certain people that needed certain rides to work from certain hospitals didn't give me money for gas or the bridge. I took the oppratunity to go to lunch with my Mom since I was in the East Bay anyways and it's been a while since I've gone to lunch with her. I then went to Cody's Books in Berkeley and looked at (Surprise!) some books. I bought one. For the purpose of suspence I will not reveal what the book that I bought was untill a later date. I went home, played some video games, and took a long nap. That nap ended up screwing me in the end. I woke up, went to Kinders and talked to a couple friends for about 5 minutes before heading off to a pool tournament. I ended up taking second place and wining a heafty sum of $35. Not too shabby considering that I got lucky in quite a few games. But that's just the way it goes, sometimes you get the bear and sometimes it gets you...I guess I got it last night, but it wont be long before it gets me back. What a jerk. I ended the night be getting a sticky Sobe from Wolves and talking to Miss Macy for a little bit. I went home, played some more video games and went to bed to try to sleep, something which I failed miserably at. It's now the morning of today and I got about one or two hours of sleep. I guess the bear did get me back...while I was in bed, he is a jerk! |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 15,June,2004 | Well, today is my last day of forced vacation from work and I'm kinda glad to go back because the heat is killing me. I wanted to do more with the past week then just hand out like normal. But It's hard to find people that want to get out and do stuff early in the day, especially when you're not so sure you want to yourself. Is it getting hotter!!! It's 4:00pm, I figured it would start cooling off but my house defies me again and shows it self for the oven that it is. Roasted griffenjam is on the menu tonight. I got the new Zelda game, Four Swords Adventures, last week. It came with a free shirt and I'm wearing it now, for the third time this week, I did wash it yesterday though so that is no excuse to stay away from me. The game is alot like the new Harry Potter movie. It's really good for what it is, but don't try to compare it to anything else in the series (or in the movies case the book) because it just wont live up. In practice it's very much like Final Fantasy Mystic Quest. Which was the worst Final Fantasy game ever. The thing I hat...dislike the most is that you cant just walk around the world at your leisure. You have to select a specific are to go to, then select an available section, and clear it to move on to the next area. I don't like games that are too controlling, let me do my own thing dammit. A Link to the Past kicks this games ass so hard the bruises may never go away, but like I said, it's fun for what it is. My, and Isabella's, birthday is coming up soon. I'm wondering if my dad will call, I doubt he will but I hope he does. It's normally pretty easy to milk an absent parent for good gifts or cash, as long as they feel bad about being absent. However I didn't even get a card for Christmas so I think that I may be out of luck. I wonder what the etiquette is with crappy dads when it comes to the rest of the family. My Grandmother, his mom, is having everyone at her house for her birthday soon and I was invited. I want to go, but I don't know. I always get the feeling that I'm a little set apart from them, except for Grandma. For example, I'm the only liberal in a very conservative family, I'm also the only non-baptized one. I also know that if I go I'll just get even more mad at my dad than I already am. Like last time I went up. Some cousins and I were playing softball and then one of them said something about playing softball with my dad recently. This was funny because my dad lives in Arizona and she doesn't. That means that my dad came to California and at some point played softball with her (something he hasn't done with me) and never even called me. Before that day I thought it was the entire family that he ignored but during that trip I found out that it was just me. Everyone kept asking me about what I thought about things he's been up to or have happened to him. All of it was news to me. Ohh well, what can I do, but if he thinks he's getting my liver or any other organ someday he can think again. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 11,June,2004 | I don't want to make a habit of posting news stories but this is one I felt I just had to share. It would seem that in the year 2003, the second full year of our all out war on terrorism, the amount of terrorism used in the world actually increased. They tried to lie about it and say that the level of terrorism had dropped lower than it has been in 34 years, but someone called them on it and now they look pretty dumb. This is exactly what I have been saying will happen. A war on terrorism will only increase the number of people that are willing to use it to acheive their aims. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 09,June,2004 | Okay. So, in my last post I said I had a meeting with my boss that I thought was going to be bad. It was. Due to my non-stop lateness and over the top internet useage I've been suspended for two days. While I think that suspension was a little harsh I could use a little time off. The only thing that bugs me is that I'm not the only one in my department that does this stuff. I'm just the most obvious one. Hell one person plays flash games all day. Another gets off the phone from yelling at his wife just long enough to call someone regaurding his after hours work. Ohh well, I guess that's what it means to be low man on the totem pole. Enough about that, now it's time to tell about me being hasseled by the man. The other night I was driving home from playing some pool and I see a cop driving around, I say to Isabella, 'He's going to pull me over'. Low and behold he does. I wasn't doing anything wrong, nothing at all. He tell me that the computer says that my registration is expired. Just to make it totally clear, I had registred my car a week previous and considering that the police had a connection to the DMV computers right in their car I find it hard to believe that my registration is showing up as expired. He eventually lets me go. Last night, just two nights after the first incident, after leaving a pool tournament (which I didn't win) I see a cop, and he sees me walking to my car. He pulls around in a parking lot and waits for a few seconds watching me, then he leaves and goes up the street out of sight. He's out of sight for all of five seconds and I see his front end creep around the corner watching me start my car and let it warm up for a minute. The second I drive off he's on my ass. I LOVE it when cops tailgate me! So I try to be carefull not to do anything stupid but in the end I kinda do. I'm at a red light and and I see a car coming but it looks far enough away that I think I can safely turn right. The cop didn't agree. He pulled me over and asked for my license. This piqued my interest because he didn't ask for my registration. I would have thought that if my registration was showing up as expired he would have said something about it, but even after checking the computer and coming back with my license he didn't ask for it. He just told me to yeild next time and let me go. God I love the cops in Benicia. I live in Vallejo and drive around that city all the time, at all hours but never get pulled over there. I go one town over and it happens quite often. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 09,June,2004 | I have a meeting with my boss in about 10 minutes. I always hate meeting with authority figures. I have a feeling that this will be bad. It's a follow up to a meeting I had previously with her when we discussed how late I always am, I've been late alot lately. In my defense I've been sick lately and it's harder to get up and around early when you're sick. I don't know how to tell her that without sounding like I'm just making excuses, which is something I really don't want to do. I guess it doesn't matter really. This place isn't known for handing out raises so it's not like I'm going to miss a chance at a raise because I'm a bad employee, and I don't think I'm quite fireable yet. Though that would really suck. I'd hate to have to turn to selling my body to pay rent. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 06,June,2004 | It's funny how much time can change you without you realizing it. When I was 17 I had the world figured out; I was the person I really wanted to be and couldn't imagine ever wanting to change. I was going race people on the feeway with my VW Bug for the rest of my life. I was going to do other things too, but I was sure that racing my bug was going to be a big part of my life forever. Well, two accudent later I no longer had a bug to race and it's really hard to look like a straigt up hardcore pimp driving a Bonneville (and it was so easy in a VW Bug!). Now that I have a car that can race I find that I never actually want to do it. Maybe I'm just afraid that I'll get in a wreck and die, I mean how fast could I really go in a VW Bug? Heh, actually it's funny for how much one changes, how much of them stays the same. I remember when I was young, maybe in third grade, I used to be afraid that when I grew older I would turn into someone else. That somehow the voice inside my head would be different and not connected to the one I had at that time. I was afraid of being older, like 15 or 16, I didn't know how to do it then. It all seemed very scarey. I would be expected to do things and know things about the world. Like how to pay taxes and register cars. I would be expected to know how to SPELL!!! Well, I guess I can't get everything right. When I made it to 15 the last thing I wanted was to be 18. There were breif moments when I wanted the freedom that being 18 would bring but those moments didn't last long. I didn't have a large college fund, $1000 doesn't even go far at community college, and I knew that none of my parents would be kicking down the many thousands that it would take to send me to school. I also knew that my grades weren't good enough to merrit and kind of scholership worth talking about. This all ment that I would have to work for a living when I turned 18 (which actually turned out to be when I was 16) and even thought I hadn't done it yet I knew one thing anout work, it was for suckers. Ten jobs later I have only confirmed that, work really is for suckers. I know that a blog is supposed to be like a diary. A log of events in your life, but I find my typical day to be too mundane to talk about. I don't mean to diminish the importance I place on hanging out with my friends thought. I saw a few of my friends yesterday and last night and I really enjoy it every time I'm around my friends. Whether it's going to the mall and getting a bit to eat or sitting around shooting pool and trying to win stuffen animals the time I spend with my friends is the most important time in my life. That is something that has never changed about me and I hope that it never does. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 06,June,2004 | I just got back from see the new Harry Potter movie and I guess I'll say some words about it. I wont try to spoil anything but if your looking to be surprised then dont read this post (like anyone reads these posts anyways). Overall I thought the movie was good for what it was however it pays the book absolutely no service at all. Some events are out of order, happen in entirely different places, or are completely missing. Unless it was after the credits the trainride home wasn't even in the movie and that means that pidwidgen (spelling?) wasn't either, sorry Ron I guess Errol will have to do for now. Quiddich was completely forgotten about after the first match, which is too bad because I was really looking forward to seeing Harry's patronus run down Malfoy. Actually many things arn't in the movie at all, which I was expecting but it seems that too much is missing. Time also seems to move very quickly. Before you know it it's christmas time, but strangely enough it never actually is christmas. It seems that opening presants on christmas is a feature of every book, but it didn't make it into the movie. Sorry guys, no sweaters from Mrs. Weasley or any other preasents . One thing I was sorry wasn't in the movie was the lack of normal interaction. You never really see the students in class unless there is a major event in that class. The books deal not only with the main story line but also with the life of Harry and his friends in school, this is something that is completely missing from the movie. I still liked it none the less. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 04,June,2004 | All my life I've had lucid dreams, dreams which you can control, however when I have them it's fairly rare that I realize that I'm dreaming at the time. Ladt night is a perfect example. I had a dream that I was arrested for some reason and thrown into jail, this was a lucid dream, however it's hard to take control when you don't realize that you have any; I thought it was real. I was totally freaking out, wondering what the hell was happening. However it was that bad because every time I wanted anything I would find it right away. I was a little thirsty and instantly found a coke machine, I wanted something to do and found a rec-room filled with pool tables. I wanted something to eat and I just all of a sidden had food, I don't even know where it came from. After a little while it turned out that I was in the coolest jail ever. Somehow I missed that fact that there was a surprisingly small number guys in this jail and the majoiry of the population was filled with hot girls. How did I not reailze that I was dreaming. I'm staying home from work today, my sickness I mentioned before has not gone away and I figure that if I have to deal with it for a while I may as well take a day of work. This sucks more than is immedatly apperent to anyone that doesn't work for communists. At the hospital I for at your sick time and your paid vacation all come out of the same bucket. The time I'm taking now is subtracting from my paid vacation time....that is so lame it makes me even sicker. It's actually a very bad policy to have in a hospital. I wonder how many people, in order to conserve vacation time, go to work sick....in a hospital...go to work sick...sick...to their work....their work which is where tons of people are that shouldn't be around anyone that is sick that they don't have to be. Ohh well, I don't make the rules, I just try my best to not follow them. I saved some of the best news for last. Last night I won a pool tournament. Brought in a wooping $69. Woohoo! Actually I got quite lucky, and you can believe me when I say that because I think false modesty is one of the fakest things since McDonalds cheeseburgers. It really rips me up when I know that someone is trying to be modest and saying things I know they really don't think. Well, I have to go, I told Isabella and MaterialGirl that I would come hang with them. Don't do anything I wouldn't do....and if you do call me first so I can come and watch... |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 02,June,2004 | As you may have noticed by the fact that it is plainly stated above, I am in a bad mood. I couldn't sleep at all last night and when I did drift off for a short period of time I had a strange dream about Optimus Prime and I hiding in a room on a space station that looked surprisingly like the pharmacy at the hospital I work in. It seemed that most of the Autobots were being mind controlled and they were looking for us. Optimus wasn't in high spirits and neither was I. So, I'm tired and cranky and I have a sore throat and so when I got to work I decided to do what any sane person would do at work and try to plan my class schedual for next semester. This turned out to be the wrong thing to do on an already bad day. Budget cuts at school have now hit home for me. There is a greatly decreased number of Tuesday/Thursday classes and some of my favorite teachers arn't teaching the classes I need to take, which is okay because the classes arn't at time I can take them anyways. Why is it patriotic to blindly support every war Bush takes us into but it's okay to let education funding slide. Wanna talk about patriotism, how about putting some stock in this countries future and educating people for a change. Our big bad weapons wont mean shit when others develop energy shields and were left behind because were a nation of dumbasses that don't care about funding education. I was going to talk about a bunch of other stuff but I just got blindsided by my bad day. I need to talk to a counselor about what classes I can take for my major now that I can't take the math class I need or the programming class I need. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 27,July,2004 | Last sunday was the anniversary of the day of my birth. It's not a global holiday yet, but I'm working on it. I had a pretty good time. I had gone to Lake Tahoe with my parents, my sister and her husband. I won some money on the first night I was there, that was pretty cool. We went to Nevada and saw some sights, including the town that Bonanza was filmed in. Then we came back and went out on a dinner cruise in the lake. It was pretty cool. The food was alright except for the fact that no matter how anyone ordered the steak it came out medium well. But considering that it also came out within five minutes of ordering it I have an inkeling that it may have been already cooked and would have been hard to uncook it a little to make it med. rare. The boat sports a small glass bottom that is too small to be of any use to anyone that isn't just trying to check on the color of the water under the boat. But it was a nicvee trip altogether and I enjoyed the views of the lake. I took lots of pictures, as people normally do in that kind of setting, then in five years I'll probably do what countless others have done, I'll look at those pictures and wonder where the hell they were taken and what exactly I was taking a picture of, because aside from trees and water there is nothing remarkable in the pictures. After we got back we all went gambling. The idea was to go together but we ended up going our seperate ways after long. I did well but wasn't making the millions I wanted to so I quit and walked to a pub that sports a pool table and figured I'd shoot a couple games. This was a great decision it turns out, because I met two very nice girls from Oakland in the pub. We shot a few games then decided to go gamble a little, but on the way to the casino stopped off at a club called the Cabo Yabo or something or other. Now, I don't drink, smoke, or have sex with everyone I meet so the clubs have never really been my thing but we were having a good time none-the-less. I turned 26 standing in that club. We stayed there for a little over an hour then went to do some gambling. I lost a little money ($6.50). And at 2:30am figured that it was time to go to bed. I bid my new friends farewell and left for the warm, if not lsightly stiff, embrace of my bed in my temporary home. I should have gotten their numbers but I didn't. Ohh well, maybe I'll see them again. In the morning I went to a breakfast buffet with my family and had a pretty good breakfast. After that we gambled a little more, I lost thirty dollars. Then everyone left, one group at a time, with me leaving last. I came home ans went out with some friends to a local bar. Aparentally I spent the whole night muggin' (staring in a menacing way) people, or so I was told, repeatadly. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 23,July,2004 | For those that don't know, and since everyone that reads this knows me I'm talking to no one that's likely to see this, I play in a pool tournament every thursday night. Last week I did pretty bad, the word dismal comes to mind. Losing is one thing, but missing a bunch of easy shots is another. To put it plainly; I just plain sucked. However this was a new week and my sucking seemed to have abated because I came out swinging this time and I was dropping fools like that's what they were made for. Well, I guess I could remember it that way if I were drinking or doing some heavy drugs. In reality I got lucky in alot of games and owe many victories to the person I was playing choking or getting really lucky with a leave. My luck ran out in the last two games. This is a double elimination tournament so that means everyone can lose twice and the winner of the winners bracket plays the winner of the losers bracket. This means that the last person in the winners brackets has to be beaten twice by the last person in the losers bracket, which is exactly what happened, with a little help from me. For me the only important shot in both those games was the last on of the second game. The eight ball was sitting on the side pocket and I had a clear shot at it. I took carefull aim and hit with just a little right english to make sure that I didn't follow it into the side pocket and took my shot. I had hit to hard and the right english carried the cue ball right down the table and into the corner. Ohh well, it happens. Sometimes I feel like the whole thing is a luck game anyways. And that's all I have to say about that. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 22,July,2004 | So, today I did stupid shit like waking up and going to work and coming home and stuff, then I did something pretty cool. I went to see some bands play at Blakes in Berkeley. I ended up going by myself which is cool with me, but stuff like this is always more fun with friends. Ohh well, at least no one I know saw me jogging down telegraph trying to find a place with a public bathroom I could take a crap in and not die from some disease five minutes later. I got there rather early and the show started rather late, which ment that I did alot of standing around outside by myself before the show started. Yet again, I don't mind being alone. My dislike for humanity as a whole compells me to no talk to most other people and since I'm a pretty momentumy person my non-talkingness carries over to pretty much everyone, even people I might like to meet. However this doesn't stop crazy people from talking to me and telling me about how they think that Kurt Cobain was alot like Earnest Hemmingway because both blow their brains out. But figuring that you just have to take it as it comes I just smile and say something like 'Wow, I never saw it that way.'. The bartender at blakes, the girl that works on the main level, has a very strange thing going on. I normally have a pretty good feeling about what people are like, what kind of person they are and so on, and this girl game me a really strange feeling, but in a good way, kind of like the Buddah or something. I wanted to ask her a bunch of questions and try to figure her out but I figured that some creapy guy in a green hat asking where she grew up and what her favorite color is might seem at best like I'm some creapy guy that is hitting on her, and at worst like some creapy loser that is wearing a strange hat and hitting on her. She was also cute and smiled alot, I like people that smile at people they don't know, I do it all the time but rarely get one in return. The first band that played was pretty good. There were from the East Coast and played something that sounded very much like L.A. ska. I don't remember their name though and I didn't care to get their CD I kinda had the feeling that they were jerks. This was confirmed when I saw them mocking the band that played after them, Sputter Doll. Sputter Doll played a great set, I really loved it. I felt kind of bad though because all the other bands were pretty much straight ska bands and here they were playing punk. I got the feeling that most of the people there weren't really digging on them too much, which is too bad because they sounded great. I wanted to get their new CD but they packed up and left before the band after them finished their set. Which brings me to Warsaw. I got a Warsaw Cd back in '97 and thought they were pretty cool. I had no idea they were still around untill today. They played a great set with a bunch of original sounding ska, and even had someone playing a conch shell in one song. It was great to see all the people dancing and haveing a good time, I know I was. However I really had been hoping to hear some of the songs on the CD I have, but they only played recent stuff. Ohh well. Like I said, gotta take it like it comes, no use complaining about it. After they were done I left, I didn't really care to stick around for the next band. I drove to the Pastime to play a little pool. Which is exactly what I did, play a little pool; two games to be exact. Once I got there I realized that I was too tired to stay for long. I played and them came home, sucessfully getting out of Benicia without getting pulled over. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 12,July,2004 | Last night I was sitting on the can and had the thought that it might be a good idea to write about something that happened to me years ago, just over ten years ago in fact. It's about the first time I fell in love, or at least thought I did. I'll leave out many of the boring details because I'm told that they, rather than adding depth and interest, just make my stories long and drawn out. I was a youngster staying at a hotel/casino with a parent. This meant than while my parent was gambeling and doing whatever I didn't have shit to do. However I was a horny youngster so I went to hand out by the pool, I didn't have a swimsuit, but I figured that girls probably did. Well, while sitting by the pool I noticed a girl around my age, who actually turned out to be a couple years younger, sitting with her grandparents. She was very attractive in an offbeat sort of way; I couldn't really put my finger on it or figure out why I thought she was so attractive but you don't really questions those things too much do you, if you think someone is hot you don't really care why. Well, being a little wuss I knew that I wouldn't talk to her, especially no in front of her grandparents, so I didn't really think about it. Now, it becomes important to point out that I am, and always have been, a big ice eater. In my earlier years it wasn't uncommon for me to just get a cup full of ice and munch on that for a while, something that I did at exactly this point in my story. I got up and got a cup full of ice and sat back down. About five minutes after that the girl got up and got some ice as well, on her return trip to her seat she commented to me about how great the ice there was. This shocked the hell out of me because at that point, and to a certain degree to this day, I had the feeling that I was pretty much invisible and went unnoticed unless I walked into someone or something. At that moment nothing more came of that. Her grandparents and her eventually got up and left, I had nothing to do so stayed there for a while. There was a view of the river nearby from the pool area, so I checked that out for a while. I eventually got bored and decided to walk around elsewhere. I left the pool area and hit the elevator button, which was right on the other side of the door from the pool area, when I heard someone say hi to me from behind. It was that girl, we talked for a little bit (untill the elevator got there). It turned out she was waiting for her grandparents. When the elevator arrived I really wished I could keep talking to her but I didn't know if I would look crazy if I called up an elevator and didn't get into it so I left. I kicked myself all the way to whereever I went after that. I did something, ate dinner, blaa blaa for the next few hours untill it was almost time for bed. I told my parent that I wanted to go for a walk, which was true. I was told to be back by 10pm. I went back to the pool, mostly because I wanted to see the girl, but also because I enjoy being outside at night and looking at the stars, even to this day I can sit outside and look at the stars for hours and not get bored. When I got there I found that I was the only one there, I sat down and thought about things for a while, then a door opened and she came out. We talked for a couple hours about all sorts of stuff. I found out that she was from Seattle and her grandparents lived in Sacramento. I can't remember her name (I'm terrible with names) and for some reason it completely slipped my mind to try to get her address. When midnight rolled around we both figured that we were probably in quite a bit of trouble for staying out so late and went back to our rooms. I was happy that I had met such a cool person but sad because I knew I would never see her again. I was actually depressed about this for a few days. I wrote in a journal at this time in my life and I'll repete here the advice I wrote in my journal. If you take the time to get to know the perfect person, at least make sure to get her address. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 09,July,2004 | Well, I've been working on my new game, Earth Defender C, for the past few weeks. I do it a little at a time, I'm not a very hardcore developer these days. Think I got this far with Earth Defender B within the first two or three days. But this game is going to be better developed and have a special quality that Earth Defender B didn't quite have, this game will be fun to play. Since I don't do much artistically that I can share with others I figure all I really have right now is my games so I'm going to post a screenshot so all can see my fledgeling game in all its glory. Before you start dissing my game, or me, remember this is still very early on and that I'm not an artist. Also the map isn't exactly laid out for looks right now.l..blaa...blaaa, here is the pic. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 08,July,2004 | Well, I'm trying to sign up for classes and I'm having some problems. It seems that thanks to budget cuts all the classes I want are at times I can't take them. I can accept this, for now. So I'm thinking that I will talk to a counselor and see what classes I need that are in times I can take them. So I call up and try to make an appointment. This was my big mistake. I expected a department in a college to do something that makes sense (give advice to students before a semester starts). I was told that for now they are only giving appointments to people that are already taking summer classes. So in other words they are only helping people that already have classes and don't really need help. I was told that I couldn't make an appointment until school actually started, and even then I can only make the appointment once school starts, it would be weeks before I could actually see one. WTF!!! So they only counsel people that have already made mistakes. Hey, glad you made an appointment to come see me, ohh look at this, you took all the wrong classes and wasted this semester, should have talked to someone before signing up for these, but now it's too late to even add classes because not many teachers will let you after the first week... THIS MAKES NO SENSE!! Why only help people after it's too late for the help to do any good! Why are there no sections of Calculus III at a time when I can take them, not only at DVC but also at Contra Costa Community College, Solano college, and Napa College. Are there any others I can try? And I'm tired of people that use its when they mean it's, if you want to say it is use IT'S DAMNIT!!! The same goes with your, and you're. And what's with Yellow Cabs anyways, so what if it's yellow, doesn't have to be in the damn name does it! |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 06,July,2004 | I just read this and found it pretty sad. This kid wants to go kill Muslims. That's it, kill Muslims. God I hope they don't let him into any branch of the armed forces, just what we need, some kid with his own Muslim killing agenda. This is sad on so many levels it's not even funny. Normally when someone gets mad at things like immigrants or people of other races it mostly fear that drives it. Normally fear that these people aren't actually inferior to them and can do things just as well as they can. How many times do you hear highly skilled people go on about immigrant problems...not alot, because they know they are secure in their job and aren't afraid that someone that isn't acclimated to the culture and can't speak the language well is going to come and take their job away. As far as I'm concerned if you can be replaced by someone that can't speak English and only just got here then you probably didn't deserve your job in the first place. I also love how the same people that talk about wanting unfettered capitalism and a laissez faire government are also the same people that hate on the illegals. I'm sorry but you can't go on about the glory of the free market one minute then talk shit about people that are the living expression of it the next. Illegals work harder for less money than most of this country, they had to go through more shit just to get those jobs and they risk far more thanany of us ever will just by coming here in the first place. They embody free market capitalism, they risk everything for a shot at a better life, and they are willing to work hard for it. And because of them we have cheap fruits and vegetables. I don't hear anyone complaining about that, you never hear anyone say 'Damn those illegals, these oranges should cost 10 times this much!!!'. The funny part of it is that we, as a country, support the illegals every day. If you buy fruit chances are an illegal picked it. Do you shop at Walmart? Guess who got busted for using a company that hires illegals. Just like my answer to anything you don't like in our society, if you want to do something the only real way to make an impact is to boycott. If you don't like illegals then don't buy anything they pick, shop anywhere they clean, or pay them for anything. Personally I don't care about illegals, like I said, I know they aren't taking my job. And I'm pretty secure in knowing that most Americans are too lazy, stupid, and cheap to actually do anything effective about the illegal 'problem' so all they will keep doing is talking shit. Another thing I love in this country is people thinking they are better than anyone else on Earth just because they are born here. I'm sorry, but this kid has no room to talk about what other people should do or about how they don't deserve to live here. I've got news for you kid, no one born deserves to live here, some of us are just lucky. And before you start acting like the popular kid keeping the nerds out of your party I have to ask you, what have you done to make this country great? People go on and on about how great this country is, and I don't disagree, this is a great country, but it's not through their actions that it's great. It's thanks to people like Thomas Edison, The Wright brothers, and, thought I REALLY hate to say it Henry Ford that this country is great. It has nothing to do with John Q. Asshole that does alot of talking but doesn't do shit worth talking about, every country has those. Until you do something worth talking about I don't really want to hear your views about who should be here and who shouldn't because for all we know the child of that fruit picker that came here illegally will invent something that will allow the U.S. to maintain it's dominance in the world. It always amazes me how a country of immigrants could have so much hatred for them. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 05,July,2004 | As the title suggests I had a great weekend, I'm just sorry that it had to end. I wont go into all the specifics but I hung out with bunches of friends and family and even saw La Plebe play at the Phoenix Theatre in Petaluma. I got to see my friend from the good ol' state of Oregon and her twins. I think of the twins, Charlotte, is starting to like me but Maggie still seems pretty wary of me. I got to see two parades this year, Vallejo and Benicia's. I think I can say without too much hometown bias that Vallejo's was the better of the two, although both shared quite a few floats. I have a feeling that is the reason that Benicia has it's parade on the third, because if it did it on the fourth many of it's floats would be in Vallejo. Benicia's after parade festivies beat Vallejo's handsdown though. In Vallejo the Vallejo symphony plays after the parade and there is like a mini-crafts fair. In Benicia there is literally dancing in the street as a rock band plays various other bands hits. I saw no crafts booths, but there were a few food stands. There is one thing that Benicia is missing and that is a Ducky Durby. I know I bought a duck from a person in Vallejo's parade, thought I didn't go to the actual race. Maybe my duck won, that would kick so much ass. I would even love to get fourth place....hmmm, I don't know what happened to my duck ticket though, well they have my name and address. Well, this was a great weekend and I'm glad that I got to spend it with family, old friends, new friends, and people that are just becoming friends. If every weekend were like this life would be grand and almost any lame ass job would be bearable because I would know that I had the weekend and great friends and family to look forward to. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 09,August,2004 | I know no one care about this, but I will post about it anyways. I have been working on my game and it's going somewhat well. Since I posted that screenshot I have added such wonderfull and awe inspireing things as bullets, and one enemy that doesn't have the ability to fire at you yet, which is okay because it's mostly just a flying bomb itself, it has been named a spin-drone. Mostly because it's a drone, and it spins, or it should. Right now it just looks like a tweeker robot thing that is makeing strange movements that don't really resemble spinning at all. I am such a bad pixel artist it isn't even funny. Well, for other people it's funny, and I guess I do laugh sometimes at my own crappy art, so I guess I should say that i'm such a bad pixel artist that it's only occasionally funny, and most time the horrors oof my art are beyond humor. Maybe I'm going over the top a little, but I don't think so. I'd post another screenshot but I'm lazy and no one would care so why bother. Plus the game isn't that visually different yet. I need to work on the HUD a little more and take all the debugging text of the screen, and add another enemy or two, then I'll post another screenie for you all to ignore. BTW if anyone that may be reading this is a pixel artist and wants to have their name in the credits of this game post your e-mail addy and I'll get back to you. A large chunk of the coding for this game is done, everything I have do has been done with the idea of code re-use in mind. All I have to do is add support for a few things and the buld of the game will be finished, so if an artist were to join up now if would be quick easy game credits to show their art in action. So, after all I'm really the one helping you out, not the other way around. |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 06,August,2004 | So this week I took a break from doing absolutely nothing with my life to go to Linuxworld and try to waste my time getting cheap Linux related junk that will collect dust in my house. It was a great success. On Tuesday LoveLostLibra came with my and we made the rounds hitting up every booth we could, gaining information and looking for cheap crap like it were the holy grail. Some products I had a real interest in, Blackduck had a pretty cool app for programming teams, and others that I couldn't care less about, ahem...veritas..., but only talked to to get the cheap crap. LLL and I had a pretty good time, I think (maybe he's really plotting to get back at me for boring him to tears for bringing to a Linux trade show, who knows), Intel threw a pretty nice after-party that had some great food and a pretty cool 80's cover band. They also had a bunch of free-to-play pool tables. We all had great fun and ate and drank and were merry and stuff. Then we took BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit, it's a train) back to where I parked earlier. Let me tell you that was the longest BART ride I ever had. I had to pee so bad my teeth were swimming in it. I ended up having to go in the women's restroom because there was someone in the men's room and there was no time for politeness for formality. If the women's had been locked I would have been peeing into a trashcan or something. Thursday I went back to Linux world on a solo mission of justice. I had been cheated of a great bounty of cheap shit the previous trip and I was coming back to clean house, and clean house I did. Four T-shirts, a bank, a mini-USB hub, enough mints and pens to make Mr. T cry. I especially liked the end of the conference on this, the last, day. The roles were reversed, vendors were practically begging people to take their stuff so they wouldn't have any left over. I can't think of one piece of swag that I missed. There was no after party however, ohh well. Can't win em all ehh? For lunch I ate at a 'Mexican' restaurant in the Metreon. I had a chicken quesadilla and a Sobe, it came to just over $9.00. While eating I was forced to think about the Mexican place I recently ate at in the Mission. This food was bland and almost tasteless, and very expensive, while the food server just a couple miles away was authentic, real, and not very expensive at all. It made me sad to think that things would be so watered down for the people ate at this place. What mostly made me sad was how much I paid for this crappy food. How lame... |
3,389,671 | male | 26 | indUnk | Leo | 02,August,2004 | I was telling Miss Macy about my idea that the Smurfs were communist propaganda and she told me to write it in my blog, so here it goes... First off you have Papa smurf. He takes care of all the smurfs and coordinates the resources of the entire village. He also wears a RED hat, what a fucking commie. All of the smurfs have names that denote what they do in the village. Handy smurf, Heafty, Brainy (?), ect. They all do something, even if it's only just stand there and look good and no matter what they do they all get the same reward for their work. They all have the same house, the same food, and they all want to get some from smurfette but she aint givin' up to any of them. I don't know what that has to do with communism, but it still sucks all the same. Now this brings us to Gargamel. This is where it gets deep. Gargamel is a capitalist that is always trying to make some cash by turning the smurfs into gold. Or to put it more simply, he wants to make money off of the hard working smurfs. If that doesn't scream bourgeois exploitation of the proletariat I don't know what does. I don't know what the hell those two prince kids represented, but I'm sure it's something communist. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 31,May,2002 | Heheheheheehehe I AM.... You are 10% evil! urlLink [How EVIIIIL are you ?] That's right! You're the meekest of the meek! You're the least amount evil! The philosophy in ying and yang is that no one person can be completely good or completely evil, but you're pretty close to complete, goodie-two-shoes! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 30,May,2002 | What does everyone think of the new 'Shpiel of the Week' column at the side? Basically it's where I use a keyword, and spin a paragraph around it. I got the idea from my friend urlLink Jeff Yen who picks a random word from a dictionary and writes a journal entry on it. I was his 'guest' entry for this particular word,Threat, which I've used as a starting point for my weekly shpiel. What do you guys think? Drop me a flooble yah? |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 27,May,2002 | Doli Incapax and the 50-egg cake I was at my friend urlLink Joy's Blog the other day, and read something interesting, called doli incapax . Basically it means that kids under the legal age of responsibility can't be held accountable for wrongful actions/ crime that they commit 'coz they can't yet tell right from wrong, and may not understand what they're doing. Just what is the 'legal age of responsibility'? Hmm...maybe the argument can be used for certain *ahem* 22 year-olds? I'd love to plead that case. Especially for me, the bumbly butter-fingered buffoon . Well, it was Shawn's 24th B'day party today, though his b'day's tomorrow (that's the surprise!), and I kept doing bumbly things. Like dropping Joy's camera (classic 3 stooges stuff), biting into my plastic fork, and worst, accidentally hitting E-Gene's still-recovering-from-ligament-operation knee. ARGF. After I was so careful not to. (He was in pain - you should've seen his face.) Oh and did I forget to mention that I left the sandwich maker on and it burnt through it's own rubber insulated wiring? How one day can go so wrong I don't know...sigh... And it's not just today. It's EVERYDAY. I'm constantly making a fool of myself, either putting my foot in my mouth or causing/being involved in accidents. Charles says I should just try to be more aware, but as you can see from the knee hitting incident, it makes no difference. I'm just bumbly lil' ol' me. Ah wells..... Enough of my whinging and whining... Shawn's party was pretty great, organised by his girlfriend Joy. We stuffed ourselves silly with party food like egg sandwiches, pasta and nachos. BURRRRP. And of course, later, the DENSEST CHOCOLATE CAKE EVER. It must have had 50 over eggs in it (I'm extrapolating that figure after considering the fact that a block of Peranakan kueh lapis has 30 eggs in it. I'm not kidding.) ACK...feeling the pain now... I think the highlight of the party has to be the 'What do I hate/love about Shawn part' where everyone got to air their grievances. For more information, check out urlLink his Blog . Let's just say we had a ball of a time...hee hee hee... Whatever it is, we all had a great time. Too bad Shawn did all the cooking and cleaning up after. :-) Now THAT'S what I call a good party, when the birthday boy prepares his own surprise birthday celebration. (No lah, he's not that pathetic...he was only let in on it 'coz there was no way to get him out of the way. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! doodeedoodeedoo... His pasta was pretty good though.) Bit of a borin' ol' read innit? All rights, that's all for today. Sorry it's a bit of a boring read so far, only 'coz I'm too busy/lazy to write with my usual *ahem* creative flair. Tune in after I finish me essays for a more updated look to this site, and hopefully I'll be able to add more interesting links n stuff. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 27,May,2002 | Oh man Just checked out urlLink my sis' Blog . Man that girl is crazy. Anyways, thing is, i followed the link to the 'Which Ep. 2 character are you?' website and found out my true calling is to be...bam bam bam bam.... urlLink which Episode II character are you? 'Anakin Skywalker - jedi apprentice. Like Anakin, you know your morals and usually always stick to the rules. However, stray away from those who know best and you may become naiive to what anybody tells you. Stay with those whom you trust and have always been your friends. Otherwise, you may find yourself being manipulated by outside parties.' Darnnit - i really wanted to be Obi-Wan Kenobi! ah wells... Anyways, do me a favour and take the quiz then let me know which character you are! (In the flooble msg box at the side...) |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 23,May,2002 | Big Event E-Gene had his knee operation today, to fix his torn ligament (soccer soccer soccer...the bane of all knees...) Went with him in the morning, and checked into St Vincent's Private. Not bad - the room is pretty retro - the wallpaper, floor, TV etc. He has his own room and bathroom, so it's cool. The meals are pretty good - I know 'coz i ate his! (MMMM....yummy satay beef skewers on jasmine rice with peanut sauce, caesar salad, bread roll with butter, fruit salad, fizzy lemonade and clear consomme.) He wasn't allowed to eat anything coz of the anesthesia. He could have had something to eat in the morning, but coz we thought the Op was at 11 or 12, the time he checked in, so he didn't have anything to eat. In the end the Op was actually scheduled for 4pm. Anyways, in the afternoon I left for the Apple store, came back but missed 'seeing him off' to the operating theatre. It was about 5pm, so I hung out at a cafe for the next couple hours, then went to wait in his room and watched TV there. He came back about 8.15-8.20 pm. He came back looking woozy and tired - he was under General Anesthesia after all. He's now on a morphine drip 'coz he's allergic to other painkillers - and it's self-administered. Hmm...wonder if anyone ends up euthanising themselves by accident... Anyways, thank God the operation went well. He seems fine, and will probably be out on Friday or Saturday. Check back for more details on this page! Just a quick update on my iBook situation. Yesterday I ran a check using Disk Doctor. It was pretty cool 'coz i used it via Wally's Disk Doctor, installed on his Powerbook, through FireWire. I couldn't start up the Disk Doc using the CD so had to use my iBook as FireWire disk, and scan my HD on Wally's Powerbook. It was so cool! We connected the FireWire cable, pressed T as my iBook started up, and voila! My iBook's contents appeared on Wally's desktop! Woohoo Macs rule! Anyways, went to the other Apple Centre today. The IT guy there was really nice. I explained what happened, and mention the *ahem* small knock it had. Told him my dilemma of warranty running out, as well as the countless assignments due. He said no prob, he'll register my problem, so when I go see him again (when I can in a few weeks time after essays are done), the warranty would still cover it. Excellent! So now I have time to do my assignments, and also try reinstalling Word for OS X again to see if that could fix the problem. (Am doing work on Word for OS 9 right now btw. For non-Maccers, with the new platform, my iBook has 2 operating systems - OS X and OS 9.2. Programmes on OS 9.2 can start up in OS X via Classic mode, which is what I'm doing now with Word. Capeesh?) The IT guy was pretty cool. He's like one of those 'dude' IT guys lah - streaked blonde hair etc. And he kept saying 'no dramas' meaning 'no problem'. So now it's Charles' (who was also there to collect his new OS X software) and my catchphrase - No Dramas! haha... Oh yes. Got a poster as well from the place. Pretty nice. It's the iMac - but the old one lah, not the new one. Am planning to pop by other Apple stores to see if they have other posters that are just stocking up... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 20,May,2002 | It hasn't been a good day. Firstly, I went to the Apple Store in town and they tell me the problem is probably the software, and the warranty doesn't cover software, only hardware. Then they tell me if I want them to check it out, it'll cost a $90 diagnostic fee, and then they'll give me a quote if I wanna repair the software. If it is a hardware problem, then it's covered under warranty. The whole process will take 3-4 days (or did she say it'll be 3-4 days b4 they get a LOOK at it? Which means it'll take at least 10 days altogether!) I don't have Norton Utilities or Disk Doctor either. It could very well be a software problem that can be fixed by reinstalling my MS Word for OS X, or even reinstalling OS X itself. But i don't have the MS Office CD right now - it's with a friend. Thing is, my warranty runs out in 6 days. So if i wanna get it fixed, i gotta do it quick. But i don't have the time to send it in 'coz i really need to finish researching and writing my essays! ARGH. Basically I just want it done in the quickest way, less stress, NO $$$ spent. Everything costs so much in Australia!! I'm gonna try another Apple Store near my place tomorrow, and see what they say. I'll call ahead though, and ask how much they charge for diagnostic fees etc. (The place i went to today didn't even take a look at my Mac!) I think it's horribly unfair that they charge to tell you what's wrong with it. I can understand charging to fix the problem, but not for taking a look at it! Previously they had fixed a problem I had with the iBook on the spot (it wouldn't start up). Today they weren't even helpful! I don't get it. Sigh...why don't I ever learn? |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 19,May,2002 | AAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHGGGGHHHHHH I dropped my iBook. My precious precious iBook. On the ground. From a chair. I knocked it over. By accident. Honest. Ack! Now my Microsoft Word application won't open, and certain folders in the Finder can't be opened either. And I have 3 MAJOR essays due soon. HELP!! I'm almost in tears. This is terrible. And I really wanted to finish an essay by today so I could start on the rest. But I guess it's not meant to be. The scary thing is, I think I may have to send it into the Apple Store and get it fixed, and they might wanna change the hard drive or something. Which means I'll have to backup all my applications etc. and I don't have a CD writer or anything (although I could back it up on iDisk on the Apple servers, but that'll take too long on my 56k modem). I think hopefully my *AHEM* good buddy Charles (nudge nudge) might lend me his external CD-writer so I can back up my stuff. WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN NOW?? I'm sure there must be a reason for all this to happen, some sort of Big Master Plan or something. Either that or I should just be less lun-zun . Personally, I think it's the latter. Not that I don't believe in a BMP, just that I'm always lun-zun ;-) Charles and E-Gene tell me that all the time. Like how if I could just be more aware, and watch what I'm doing I could avoid lotsa accidents. But the point is, it's not like I'm not trying or anything. When you're unconsciously unaware, you just ARE. It's not like you can really help it. Or Can You?? I don't know. I really don't know. As a famous man once said, So Help Me God!! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 18,May,2002 | SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! I can't seem to see my flooble on my Mac. WHY?? My page views fine on PCs...just not on my iBook. BOO HOOOOOO |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 18,May,2002 | I have given up Given up on writing my essay So I just had KFC for dinner I'm gonna watch a DVD now WoopeeDOO!! ----------------------------------------------------------- As you can tell I'm learning and testing HTML as i go along. Crazy isn't it. Picking up bits n pieces along the way. But I'm still pretty new at it. That's why it's an obsession now, to tweak my Blog. ARGH... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 18,May,2002 | Oh my goodness. I've spent the WHOLE day bumming around. Haven't written much! only about 78 outta 2000 wds! ARGH!!! what's wrong with me? i should really get off the net and get cracking... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 18,May,2002 | I'm supposed to be doing my essay now but am obsessed with fiddling with my Blog's appearance. Picking up a lil' HTML along the way - never done so b4. Am not a techie. The only prob is i can't seem to change the colours on the side bar for shawn, e-gene and bart's links to orange like charles' n tessa's. And i can't seem to see the 'flooble chatterbox' (a forum thingy) anywhere on the page - i think coz i use a mac and haven't updated my javascript capability or something... I'd also like to enable a comments link to my posts. Anyone has any idea how to do so? Btw, g0ldfi5h.blogspot.com is no longer in use - although the page still exists lah - the archives. It's herefishyfishy now. Although the ones i wanted, like goldfish.blogspot or fishbowl.blogspot were already taken. Darnnit |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 18,May,2002 | urlLink Went to the Hoyts Cinemas website and saw a contest they had for Spiderman - winner gets an original signed poster. So i entered the contest - the question was 'If you could be a super hero, what kind would you be and why?' I wrote: I wanna be Super-Essay-Girl ! To save the world of Uni Students from the drudgery of writing essays on post-modernism and psychoanalytic theory! With my acto-plasmo eyeglasses I'd scan all textbooks and regurgitate information into 16-pg Times font size 12 scripts! Cool huh? Hehe wish she'd really exist so she'd handle my essays for me haha... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 18,May,2002 | All rites... Well then, things are starting to heat up for me now..lotsa essays and stuff. Feeling the pressure a bit..sigh. Not sure what to do. Plus i have to struggle with the various assignments, and i keep procrastinating. I think that's (one of) my biggest faults... Anyways, am eating butter and sugar on bread right now - the poor man's brekky hehe. But it really doesn't taste fantastic on sourdough bread. My advice is, stick to plain ol' white 'lo-ti'. I got my radio assignment back today. Had overslept and missed class this morning - the second time this week! I was royally pissed that it happened - really wanted to make the class and discuss/workshop my ideas with people 'coz i was feeling a little lost. Was so upset. Ack. Anyways saw my tutor just before her next class and got back my radio assignment, which i did pretty ok in. My good buddy Charles got his back too - and i'm pretty upset on his behalf. I read his piece a little before he handed it in, and i really don't think it deserved a P. At the very very least an H3 (the grading system in Melbourne Uni is H1, then H2A, H2B, H3, Pass, Fail). And according to him she sorta 'dissed' his idea for the feature story too. He wanted to write on Palms - or rather Personal Digital Assistants. Can you believe that she hasn't heard of them? Then again, I'm not surprised...apparently Australia is about 5 years behind in the whole PDA world - like their AUSPUG (Australian Palm Users Group) was just set up recently (as compared to the thriving one in S'pore and the States which have been around for ages). Geez Louiz... Oh wells, so much for that. He's gonna try to reangle his story, and pitch it again. Hope she takes the bait! As for me, I'm planning to do my topic on Naturopathy. Like natural healing and all. But i think the story's been done before, so I'm trying to take a fresh approach. I thought of pursuing the angle of people studying naturopathy and why they choose to do so etc., but i realise that it's too narrow for a 2500-wd piece. The most i can squeeze outta this angle is about 1500 wds? And that's the max. So what to do then? (Any ideas, please let me know). I'll prob. see her again on Monday to discuss. All ritey then. I'm gonna sleep now. Even though i don't really feel sleepy - slept from about 6-10pm just now! eeks..screwing up my whole system. But I'm supposed to wake up early and go for Brekky at this place called Fruits of Passion. It's got really good brekky, but a lil' expensive. Ah wells...pancakes yay! Nitey nite! TTFN (Ta Ta For Now!) |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 25,June,2002 | Bras 'n Things Woohoo...went shopping again today. Myers is having a sale, today and tomorrow only, so i ended spending $88 on lingerie!! But i bought like 7 items, so that was pretty worth it (usually 80 bucks only gets you about 2 bras and 1 underwear...). So yes, am pretty happy. Going crazy shopping i know. I spent 2 hrs there, SOLELY in the lingerie section, while poor Charles had to wander around the department store alone...poor guy. But all this spending really means i have to get down n search for a job. Eeeks..praying for a good and fun one. Anyways, we had a nice night after all that shopping...came back to Homebush (my old apt. where Wally, E-Gene and Shawn still reside) and cooked dinner, then had our Monday TV night. Yay, nothing like good food and good company (friends and the telly heehee). Tomorrow my friend Joanne's supposed to arrive from Canberra for a visit. That should be fun! I'm also supposed to watch 'I am Sam' tomorrow as well, can't wait. By the way, everyone's vacating Homebush on July 7. Wally's moving to stay with a church friend, Shawn's moving to Jon's place (and therefore becoming my neighbour!), while E-Gene may or may not be returning to S'pore for good. I feel sad..it's like an end of an era or something. Had good times here, plus both Michelle's and Kenneth's places are in North Melbourne. Sigh...Wells, we're having a going away party on Thursday, have the whole gang over to bid this place a fond farewell. Getting late, better sleep now. Nites |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 23,June,2002 | It's been awhile... Yep, i'm back to blogging again...it's been quiet, mostly 'coz i've been tied up with assignments n essays n stuff. But it's the hols now, at least till 29 July! Been having fun since stuff ended on the 14th. Went skiing at Mt. Buller with E-Gene's family, and that was really fun. His whole family was there, including his sis and bro-in-law and nephew. Boy, the baby's cute! His name's Ethan, and if i knew how to upload a pic onto my blog i would, but sadly...need to find erm, some server or something b4 i can upload pics right? (Hmm... i think i can put it up on my mac site...will check that out.) Anyways, skiing was really fun, had a ball of a time just tumbling down the slopes hehe....would have loved to ski more, or at least try a longer distance, but it wouldn't have been much fun without E-Gene around...he couldn't ski 'coz he didn't want to risk injuring his knee again. Watched the England-Brazil match at a pub yesterdat afternoon (the telecast here was at 4.30pm). The crowd was a good mix of Brazilian and English fans, so there was an equal amount of cheering going on. We had originally intended to go down to a pub in the city, but my friend who got there first said it was so packed they were turning people away. So we went to a place on the outskirts of the city instead. The match was pretty exciting. Let it be known, I'm not exactly a huge crazed fan of soccer, but i do enjoy watching the game now and then, especially between good teams. But i think i still prefer watching it by myself, or with a smaller group of people. I guess when you don't share as much passion about the team as the VB-drinking bloke next to you, it's hard to cheer the team on (and in the process slosh beer on your clothes). But there were these calm collected group of girls at the next table too, watching the game, having chips and wedges and the occasional Lemon Ruski. They looked as out of place as I did, me with my calm claps, plastic smile, and feeling torn between rooting for England (which my friends were, and i'm 'supposed' to by default as E-Gene is a Liverpool fan...), and Brazil which i kinda liked for their playing skills. Plus Brazil seemed like the underdogs in the beginning after Owen's goal. (AND!! Ashley Cole wasn't too friendly to Ronaldinho who'd placed his hand on the former's shoulder as a friendly gesture, or what i perceived as a friendly gesture at least, only to have Cole shove his arm away. Plus Cole was equally rude to other players later on. erm, if anyone disagrees, drop a flooble and we can discuss the finer points of soccer etiquette Which was why my heart kinda tugged towards the Brazilian players after a while...) Well, two Bacardi Breezers and many contraband hot peanuts (we bought some from the Asian grocer and snuck them in) later, Brazil's in the semi's for the World Cup. No surprises there i guess, although it would've been nice to see England in the semis after all this time... Wow...i actually sound like i know my soccer stuff huh? Amazing... Oh wells, anyways, it being the hols and all, i'm trying to find a job now. Either at a cafe or as a sandwich hand or something. Both seem pretty fun to me... :-) Less boring than an office job. But i need a good environment (pple and boss must be nice), good flexible hours (so i can still enjoy the hols, and spend time with my sis when she comes over), and good pay (not too worried about that, pay here is pretty decent, from $10-15 at least, depending on the job). So praying for opportunities... All rights, almost 1am now, am planning to go to church tomorrow (after a looooong hiatus...bad huh?) so gotta go sleep! Nites! Okies, it's late. Will write more (hopefully) tomorrow. Drop me a flooble yah? |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 09,June,2002 | Something Wrong with Blogger? Is somthing wrong? 'Coz I've fiddled around with the blog, but it seems kooky. Like I actually added a counter, but it keeps disappearing. And I also added some new links and that disappeared everytime I refreshed the template menu (in the Edit Blog mode of Blogger) too. What's happening? Hmmm...something FISHY's going on around here in my goldfish bowl... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 05,June,2002 | FINISHED 2 essays The major ones at least. Phew! Now only 2 to go.. I've actually done the Intercultural one, the Monsoon Wedding Review. Now it's just a matter of completing the Feminist Film one. Phew. |
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