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649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 04,February,2003 | Hair today, gone tomorrow... Hate my hair. Not the cut - love the cut. Just the colour. What was supposed to turn out as a pink block at the bottom of my wispyish chin-length bob turned into a chalky orangey-red mess. And the best part was, I'd spent 1...2...3...4 and a half hours doing it!!!!!! Wah lau eh.... 3 hours to bleach it, and it was still not white enough, but me and the stylist, a 17 year old sweet young student, decided we should just go ahead a try it. Then she had to mix up some colour 'coz they ran out of the one I wanted, and the teacher said the mix'll do. But combined with blondish hair, it came out less funky Pink and more Hong Kong Ah Lian. What should I do now? Should I dye it all black (and maybe do a couple of red 20-minute streaks)? Or should I wait a week (as suggested by one of the supervisors) and bleach it again, then do the colour myself, using the Fudge range of semi-permanent colours? Dammit....good thing it was only $32.10 for the cut and colour. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 02,February,2003 | Darn... EG's return has been pushed back another week, 'coz of problems with his visa approval. Something to do with the need for a police check 'coz he's stayed in Australia before. What a hassle...and the Oz High Comm in S'pore isn't really helpful at all. Plus they employ really grumpy women to front their counters and be rude to people applying for visas aka my boyfriend. Must be all that power going to their heads. Harrumph..if I was there.... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 02,February,2003 | Picnic Wow, today's CNY picnic for church was a load off my mind. Praise God for the good weather, and everything went smoothly, and everyone had a good time. All the running around, blood, sweat and tears was worth it. We had games - a group skits, CNY karaoke competition, and of course, a Lion Dance! Oh man, spent the whole night before sticking and layering the crepe paper onto cardboard boxes. Darn...what a waste. If I had server space, I'd upload some photos so u guys can check out...but unfortunately...ah wells. But trust me, we had a lot of fun, and lots to eat, and everyone pretty much seemed to enjoy themselves, and we also had sparklers too! And lanterns...yes, even though lanterns are more for Mooncake/Lantern festival, but hey, it's still Chinese-y eh? A funny story I heard today btw. A group of the people from church were in Chinatown, enjoying the festivities, when one of them got handed a booklet containing some facts and info about Asian businesses in Chinatown. She rejected it though, saying 'I'm not Asian!' under her breath. Thing is, she's Chinese! But she doesn't consider herself one I suppose. A couple of Aussies there heard it too, then smiled. I wonder, why do 2nd-generation Asians sometimes deny their heritage? It's a whole issue I've been reading about for class, the diasporic community in a new homeland, and how the kids adjust being part of both worlds. About 95% of the people in my church are Asians, a good number being Aussie-born Asians. I wonder how they really see themselves; most don't speak Mandarin, some occasionally follow their parents to visit relatives back home in S'pore or M'sia, and a lot don't know a large part of their cultural heritage. Few of the Asian-Aussies turned up for the CNY picnic today - most were the Intn'l students, and the adults. I guess now I'm beginning to appreciate and value the education I had growing up, being forced to learn Mandarin for 11 years ('O' and 'AO'-level Chinese). Some of it really sticks to your brain yah? I guess if I end up settling down in a country where my Mother Tongue isn't widely spoken, or part of the curriculum, I'd also send my kids to Chinese School, just to learn a bit of their heritage, language and culture, something extremely important (and marketable!) in this global age. They can thank me for it later. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 02,February,2003 | Dates Happy Chinese New Year!! :-) Had a great reunion dinner at Alan's place with his family - sob, so sad that I didn't get to spend it with mine. But they're only a phone call away.... Btw, did u guys notice that yesterday's date was 010203? hehehe cool huh? |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 18,March,2003 | Back home EG flew back yesterday to settle some visa stuff, and praise God, he's got it down n settled, and it lasts till March 31st 2005. Woohooo! I called me mum yesterday to talk, and yet again it turned into another session contemplating her worry over my brothers' future. Seems like the older one's acting up again, understandable seeing how he's going through the teenage angst years, but he's more difficult than she's imagined it to be, and she's worried over the company he's been mixing with, who've recently been caught shoplifting. Stealing for the Winona Ryder-esque thrill of it. And we're talking about a pack of rich spoilt boys from his school here. Bored rich kids who don't understand the value of money, who bandy about their fathers' wealth like a troupe of marauding monkeys, sucking up innocents who wish they could be like them, like my brother. Maybe I'm being judgemental here, but I honestly don't care, just wish my bro would wise up. Sigh, the financial situation back home is really taking a toll on everyone. I'm hoping to apply for a bursary from school to help with living expenses, at least till I graduate. I missed the boat on the rent one, which subsidises about $60 a week, but hopefully there are others I can apply for. It's no-strings-attached, so prayerfully, that'll work out somewhat, to alleviate the financial burden on my parents. It's quite pathetic how I keep running to God only when I'm in trouble or worried, however understandle it is, being a part of human nature. Yet sometimes I wish I could find the passion I once had about church and reading his Word, yet am bogged down by the mundaneness of life such that I can't find a reason to, or more appropriately face the inertia of picking up my Bible to read and meditate. Although I see myself reaching out some way, in my little human form, for that vast expanse that is 'spirituality' and 'passion for God' yet coming up short most times. Is it the engagement of the topic however? Does the deliverer of the sermon exist to entertain or educate? We (and I say we in the broadest sense 'coz I think most of us tune out once in awhile) learn when we're receptive and humour creates such an environment. How much then, do we learn when we switch off or don't connect with the speaker sometimes? But beside the Sunday agenda, there's more work to do to, on a daily basis, building such a close relationship, which to be honest, makes me wish I could have a proper conversation with God - as in hear audibly and see physically. Are real relationships based on this? The seeing and hearing and touching and feeling? The tangibility of the other? Ah wells...back to my little worm hole I guess... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 13,March,2003 | Numb Today was a day spent waking up late, rushing to work at 7am (was supposed to be there at 6.30 only to be woken up by a piercing phone call at 6.45), rushing to school, going to bridge road, walking around hunting for a pair of good black shoes to wear to work and with jeans for winter 'coz the pair I'm wearing right now is literally falling apart, failing to do source said pair, going to Myer in the City, finding a good pair only to find out they'd sold out of the black one in my size (curse my status-quo size 7 feet), having the salesgirl call up all the Myer stores in Victoria, finally finding the LAST PAIR in the WHOLE of VICTORIA and thankfully not too far away, grateful for fiance for offering to drive me and my numb tired feet to Doncaster to pick it up, only to arrive at his office to sit about for one and a half hours waiting for said kind generous fiance to finish work and whisk me off to buy shoes. Am still waiting. Am also facing possibility that we might hang about Westfield Shopping Town in Doncaster for a bit, when all I want to do is go home, rest my tired aching feet and numb self, and watch a good night of sitcoms on Channel Seven. Oh curse late night suburban shopping centres.... Sleep...oh to sleep...perhaps to dream. To paraphrase some famous person who said/wrote/sang that. Bah Humbug. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 16,April,2003 | Lola-post-loser What is wrong with the archiving system on this blog?!! For the countless many times I've tried republishing my posts and tried to put up the archives again, it won't let me!!! But the posts are still around, thank God, 'coz I can access them in my 'edit blog' mode, I just can't seem to link it up on my blog. Can't the blog/Pyra people see this and help me? I mean, you've customised the banner ads to speak specifically to me, so I KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING! What's up dudes? Can't you just show some tech support? I've followed your instructions in the FAQ section about republishing and how it's an indexing problem yada yada...and it's still not working! Can someone out there reading this help me? |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 07,April,2003 | And now it's time for another Silly Song with Sarah! I dance in my vagabond shoooooes.... Twirling and spinning till bluuuuuee.... I stop for a moment Catch my breath before it's stolen I feel my lunch coming ...it's puuuukke.... Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 03,April,2003 | Today Today's the day we got the keys to our new place! It's all nice and wet and green. The carpets freshly steam cleaned and damp. My new room smaller than I imagined. Today's the day that I found out I don't need an extension after all - the due date for the assignment has been extended for all. Today is the day I have to frantically pack the remains of my belongings, and prepare for a new phase in my life. Today is the day I leave Evie and Chris and Jon and Sturt Street and great public transport behind. And say hello to Kensington and mediocre public transport. Today is the day I have to start reading for my Understanding Australian Media presentation on Thursday. Today is the day I can watch 24 on TV instead of taping it. I have missed many many episodes...didn't bother watching the tapes. Today, today today.... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 03,April,2003 | Apologies So here I am, facing a spectacular view of Melbourne City, the sun reflecting a gold-yellow hue off parched walls and fresh concrete, perched on my comfy black office chair in the Law Library. A quiet spot this is. I really should be doing my work. Bah humbug - who really care's about Proppian narrative functions? I'm sorry. Because you all can't enjoy this view with me right now. So there they were, chatting and laughing and joking around, needlessly wasting time, indecisively deciding where to lunch. And there I was, waiting, playing watch-for-parking-attendants (which I hate), stressfully seeing the precious seconds tick by when I could be doing research, when I storm over in a cloud black debris. I'm sorry. Because I was rude. Because I should control, not react, not express, but repress, and let it burn, and not take it out on you. So there I was, thinking, culling worries, SARS, money, schoolwork, missing out on my brother's teenage years. I'm sorry. Because I should be there for you guys, to watch and teach and motivate. And here I am, sitting, facing a view, reading how I should write more. I'm sorry. Should have entertained you earlier. But I'm back, at least for now, till my next disappearance. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 03,May,2003 | Angst My brother's acting up again. Going thru' that whole teenage-rebellion phase. I hope he wisens up soon, and stops hurting the people around him who love him the most. I know it sounds patronising, but well, I am his older sis. Sigh. I hope he knows we love him. Very much. At all costs. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 03,May,2003 | B'days It's Miriam's b'day party today, and we're all going as pirates! The theme's 'Out of the Ocean' or something like that, heheh... it's really cool, I managed to scrounge up stuff last minute and put it all together. Used my red plum-coloured scarf as a pirate headscarf, and found a ribbon (in the exact same colour!) as my eye-patch. Matched it with one of my big hoop earrings (woohooo, finally a real use for it; Shawn's using the other one) and voila! Sarah the Pretty (sic) Princess Pirate! As a prezzie, we got her a nice starfish pendant from Tiffany and Co., 'coz it's her 21st! Plus, she's leaving in July to go stay in the UK for a couple of months...sigh am really gonna miss her. Miri, I'd just like to say, I Love You! :-) |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 03,May,2003 | Here comes another lunatic Praise God, I passed my driving test! I'm now on my P-plates! Wooohoooo! I'm gonna miss David, my instructor. He's really the best. Patient and fatherly. Sigh. I have my P's!!!!!! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 20,June,2003 | A Tribute to my Father I will always remember my dad as a strong man, with shoulders broad enough for six-year-old me to perch on; he with the round tummy, a twitch in his moustache, and a twinkle in his eye. I remember the times us kids spent in the queen-sized bed he shared with Mum, playing 'I Spy with my Little Eye' as he picked out easy items within plain sight, while we picked out items that couldn't possibly be hard to guess, yet he humoured us, and tried multiple times before we laughingly yelled out 'No Pa! It's the TV lah!' I remember how he used to purse his lips together whenever he got mad, a stern warning to stop being naughty before he brandished the dreaded cane. But I also remember how he restrained from lashing out when he saw my terrible A-level results, and how he tolerated my first serious boyfriend even though he knew that guy was never right for me. And how he embraced the next, now my fiance, into the warm folds of our family. For all this, I say, Thank You Dad, for being the head of our household, for being inspiring and uplifting, for being the earthly image of our Father up above. Thank you for caring, thank you for loving, and thank you for leading me in my life. God bless, and I love you. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 31,July,2003 | Geez Louise What are some of the most annoying Americanisms you've heard of? I'll start with mine: 1. Geez Louise 2. Holy Canoly 3. Jeepers Creepers 4. Heebie Jeebies 5. Hubba Bubba And must they all RHYME??!! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 31,July,2003 | Discovery 3 reasons why my dad's awesome: 1. He's always cheery. 2. He loves me. 3. He can't stand watching a camel being mauled on the Discovery channel because, quote unquote, 'It's scary, and I don't like sad endings'. It's nice to see that despite 54 years of life spent on this world, he remains refreshingly innocent. It's more than I can say for myself heh. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 28,August,2003 | Apathy Read about this true life horrendous right-before-your-eyes case that my friend urlLink Chuckie witnessed. Did you know the first thing they teach in rape-prevention class is NOT to scream for help when you're attacked? 'Coz most people would turn away to avoid confrontation!! (Read that recently in a urlLink Reader's Digest article). How horrible is that?!! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 26,August,2003 | More on Flashmobs... A urlLink thought-provoking piece . Flashmobs: Political or Apolitical? Nonsensical or A-nonsensical? (heh) You decide. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 25,August,2003 | 'Participatory Urban Street Theatre' Read about the urlLink Melbourne Flashmob that congregated last Thursday (which I really wanted to be a part of but couldn't 'coz I was still stuck in Singapore...) |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 23,August,2003 | Barcode Yourself Chanced upon this website, and the guy makes really interesting art out of barcodes. Like you see a photo of a person's face, and you put your nose right up to it and realise, hey, this picture is made up of small barcodes! . How cool is that? Anyways, I barcoded myself. I am, in our Matrix-ey world of Neos and Trinitys and Zions and what-nots, am humbly number 0 23003 64121 0 . What urlLink barcode are you? |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 23,August,2003 | Illustrations While at urlLink Brennie's site, I came across urlLink this one. If you have time, check both out. They're extremely extremely talented illustrators (the former more than the other, I believe, but I'm biased hehe...), and I really enjoy thier work! Brennie: I LOVEEEE the urlLink shampoo one. It's hilarious! I really like urlLink sundress and urlLink jammies too! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 17,August,2003 | Intuition is... 1. Jewel's latest hit single 2. What I used when smashing the bloodsucking mosquito that landed on my computer screen. 3. What is required when navigating a stretch of road while various family members simultaneously scream into your ears to both 'turn LEFT!' AND 'U-turnnnn!!', which, might I add, is rather difficult considering we drive on the left side of the road. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 17,August,2003 | Television History Why? Check urlLink this out!! Wooohhoooohohohooooo. And yes, Tess (the reporter) is my sis. Harhar...nepotism at its best. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 06,August,2003 | Yo de lay hey hoooo I wonder how many people actually still read my blog? I know I haven't been blogging much, so to calculate, I would have to say it's the number of people who actually know about this blog, coupled with the trajectory of minute comet fragments floating down from space after burning up in the atmosphere, multiplied by the incessant number of phone calls answered in the cinema by a loud 'ah, an zua? watching movie lah', divided by the intensity of Fear Factor contestants' projectile vomit after searching for objects in a tank full of live maggots WITH THEIR MOUTHS, which brings me to a grand total of...two, yes TWO people who read this blog regularly besides me. Thank you, Charles and Tessa, who've left messages on my TagBoard. I will never forget this. Never. As for the rest of the lot of you, may a thousand fleas from a camel's bottom infest your armpits! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 04,August,2003 | Speaking of Reunions... Went back to poly today to visit old mass comm lecturers. My, my what a week of meeting up with people! Yup, and word has spread among them that I'm getting married soon, so that was pretty quick. All in all, it was pretty fun, shooting the breeze, catching up with mentors I haven't seen in yonks. Ziggy's the same, so's Des and Robin and Yi Ling. Wanted to catch up with Mrs Yeoh, but she was on course. Maybe I'll just pop by again another day. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 04,August,2003 | My High School Reunion Am meeting a couple of former classmates from my JC days. My goodness, I haven't seen them in ages. In like, 6 years! I'm not sure whether to feel nervous or just plain old.... That said, tomorrow nite at Embargo should be a good one. I haven't been there, mostly 'coz I've been away of course, and I'm not exactly the type you see raving up the clubbing scene. So tell me, is it all right to feel that slight wee bit nervous at impressing former classmates whom you want to think that you are a) beautiful b) witty and intelligent c) thin? I think c) is pretty much cancelled out here. I'll try to work on the first two. Surgery anyone? |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 04,August,2003 | It's gettin' hot in here... And even though it's raining and cloudy and stuff, it's still so hot and humid! Euch! I'm often left feeling like one of those little-known species of gnats u see on Nat Geo programmes - all sticky and slimy and occasionally expelling venom through my pores. Growf. If only our country was fully air-conditioned inside AND out. Work'll be a breeze (pardon the pun!) |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 17,September,2003 | More flashmobbin' Here's what happened at the urlLink latest Melbourne Flashmob . Join the discussion urlLink here . |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 05,September,2003 | Am blogging 'coz Charles says I have to be faithful to my audience Settling into a new role at work is a real challenge. I feel lost, often directionless when it comes to this new project. But it's wonderful at the same time, to have a job in such a dynamic, yet nurturing environment, that allows you to breathe life into and concentrate on your walk with God. Such a privilege - and I'm getting paid for it too! Yay!!! It really brings home the lesson 'I'm Strong in your Weaknesses' (to paraphrase the verse). Praise God - He's been so good to me. I pray for inspiration, wisdom and guidance, and the discipline to carry my ideals through. Is the world ready for the new Global Advance Network Coordinator? |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 05,September,2003 | Gagh Am currently traumatised because: 1. I just saw a horrible Photoshop-ped picture of a breast that supposedly belongs to an anthropologist who's returned from Africa and contracted some sorta rash. Her nipple had a couple of holes in it with squirming larvae. 'Nuff said. 2. I was driving along Bukit Timah Road and was about to turn into a lane when my dad suddenly grabbed ahold of the steering wheel from the passenger seat 'coz he wanted me to go straight on instead. I nearly ended up in the ditch!! (NEVER EVER do that to the driver, not least an inexperienced one!!) 3. I'm returning to Melbourne tomorrow to start a new career. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 30,October,2003 | Another 'ilarious encounter Here's an excerpt from an email from my mum, who'd quote-unquote 'nearly 'pengsan' laughing after reading the grapefruit account (Sat 25 October's post): ------------------------------------------------------- Hi Sweeties, Read Sarah's blog linked to Bart's blog on the Grapefruit episode, I nearly 'peng-san' laughing. Good fun for the week. Maybe share with you this one just heard from a visiting pastor from Malaysia. Pastor Gan from Malaysia shared that some years back, he offered his home to shelter a village girl from Ipoh, who was an orphan. One day, she had some food particles stuck between her teeth and asked this pastor friend of mine what to do. Pastor Gan offered her a string of dental floss and taught her how to do it. She went into the bathroom and didn't come out till quite some time. Pastor then asked her did she floss out the food particle and she said yes. Then, handed the dental floss string back to Pastor and said 'I washed it many times already. Return to you.' hahahhahaha...some ulu kampong girl.... Mummy.... ----------------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: 'ulu kampong girl' is not descriptive of all girls from Ipoh, nor the greater area of Western Malaysia... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 27,October,2003 | Kaploink Just some random thoughts 1. Congrats to Karen and Jon, for entering a period of courtship!! May God bless you in this journey of discovery together! 2. Terence and Brenda have decided to name their son Joel Ong Li En!! (and mind you, it's 'Jo-EL' not 'Jo'll'. El as in Hebrew for 'son'. In which case, shouldn't he be named 'Ter-El' or 'Bren-El' ?) 3. Feeling bloaty. I pity the people around me when the gas gets expelled, one way or another... 4. Living the righteous life, dying to self, living and serving the one true living God...... is DAMN hard!!! (pardon my french). And tho' I know it's worth it, the turmoil of making conscious right choices has turned my world upside down, on end. We're not called to lead the easy life, we're called for greater things, to be dynamic infusions that pervade humanistic, hedonistic society...to Live. And sometimes I just want to crawl under a rock and give in to the tempations that rock my world, that provide relief and not rest. To not think and just carry on in the doing of things. Ay Caramba! In other news, check out urlLink this site . Conservatives, mind your manners. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 25,October,2003 | *ROTFL* Came across this via my friend Bart's livejournal. It's the urlLink most hilarious thing I've read all week!! hahahhahahah...... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 22,October,2003 | YAYYYYYYYY!!! urlLink What Finding Nemo Character are You? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 14,October,2003 | New Arrival Terence and Brenda have a brand new baby boy!! Wooppeedoo! I hope they call him Reuben. He looks like a Reuben. A strong name, yet sorta cool. Hey Reubs. Yo Reubs! Watcha doin' Reubs? Mmmmmm..... I don't think they got much sleep last night tho. Babies always wake up just when you're about to sleep. Hmm...am thinking of visiting them and the little one again. Ooh...plan to bring a prezzie tho. I've got a perfect one. hehe... urlLink The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupry!! er...don't steal my idea, can? |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 14,October,2003 | New Silly Song ahead... The sun's shing outside and I'm feeling strangely disconnected. Unintiated. Not feeling like doing any work but wanna just blughpz around. That's my new word for the day. blughpz. 'If you feel like a leach, just wanna go to the beach, Just blughpz. If you move like a slug, just wanna settle on a rug, Just blughpz. Just blughpz. Just blughpz....' Amen? |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 14,October,2003 | Halp... There are just some days when you come off feeling inadequate, and often times, insignificant. Tuesdays are those for me, often times 'coz the Exec. team meetings are long and arduous, and whatever little I contribute seem of even lesser importance. But that's just today. Most times, it's pretty all right, it's just that being surrounded by thinkers and visionaries and perpetuators of God's kingdom is pretty intimidating. Plus the fact that it starts at 8.30 in the morning and coupled with the sore lack of sleep the previous night for goodness-knows-what reason. Sometimes I question my calling in this ministry, this field. Where do I truly fit in, in all of this, in the ever-changing environment that I've been planted in? A lot of issues on self-worth and -centredness get thrown up in the mix, and I have to keep reminding myself that there's a greater purpose involved and at stake. To be honest, the sore lack of sitting down and meditating on his Word and doing my devotions is probably a key cause of this. Need discipline!! Ah wells, just a bit of a whinge s'all. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 08,October,2003 | NEW SHPIEL!!! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 08,October,2003 | Friends and friend-sters alike I'm currently hooked on this whole urlLink Friendster business, and am unearthing friends and acquaintances from eons ago. It's like Six Degrees of Seperation gone mad! Currently, with my personal direct network of 23 friends, I'm linked to more than 140 000 people! How bizarre is that? Although, I'd have to say, a friend did make a pertinent point. How many REAL friends have we made thru' this crazy machination? Or are we just content finding long-lost friends? Or is it the fun of bragging rights (hey, i have 245 friends and you only have 18!! How pathetic are you ?) So far the experience has been interesting. Hooking up and messaging ex-classmates and realising they know people whom I know too. Like a primary school mate who's urlLink my sis' colleague at SPH, and also a good friend's girlfriend's brother's girlfriend. Oh, you get the picture. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 26,November,2003 | Ick Icker Icky What happens when u need to poop, burp, eat and fart all at the same time? You're me for the afternoon, that's what. And coupled with an intense pain that comes from gastritis, induced by hunger, plus the blockage of my large intestine due to a lack of bowel movements in the past few days, I'm NOT a pretty sight. Just thought I'd add a little grossness into your reading material for the day... hehee.... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 25,November,2003 | Memememememme (sorta) Check out urlLink sarahwong.com! I've mentioned her before. She's a really good photographer. Took pics of Andrea Bocelli too! sigh..wish i could take photos like that... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 01,November,2003 | Jesus (Pop) Freak... Came across urlLink this article via urlLink Winnie's xanga blog, and a whole lotta questions ran through my mind. It throws up a lot of issues to do with the convergence of religion with mainstream pop culture, and the harkening of 'being the salt and light of the world' - to influence (rather than be influenced). In this case, who's influencing whom? Mass media or Christianity? Are we merely using whatever means necessary to reach today's jaded youth? To 'reclaim' popular culture? Or has popular culture claimed us? Is usurping pop culture a means to an end? But to what extent? Has it become a turn-off? Jesus can be cool, and he sure can be radical. But so what? Any thoughts? |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 31,December,2003 | I feel it in my fingers...I feel it in my toes... So sings glam-rock bad-boy has-been 'Billy Mack' in the opening sequence of 'Love Actually'. And he sings it so, so well - the ol' geezer, gyrating to the rhythm. But he's not the only one to gyrate (or vibrate, or translate, or prostrate) in the movie, no. For 'tis the season to be jolly, and Love, Actually, packs a punch! The movie was hilarious! Tho' the plot intricately weaving through various (love)-lives was predictably naff, understated British humour never ceases to make me laugh till my belly aches. I'd expect nothing less from Richard Curtis, the man who brought us Bridget Jones' Diary, Mr Bean, and the Black Adder series. (And yes, Rowan Atkinson does make a couple appearances). Truth be told, the movie should really be titled 'Lust Actually', or 'Luff Actually'. It charts the fluff-luff lives of several characters in present-day Christmas season London. It's love-at-first-sight. Or love-and-sex-at-second-sight. And where it comes close to the true meaning of Love - choosing to love, each day, again and again, despite mistakes and close encounters with infidelity - it shies away, preferring to gloss over its painful reality in favour of the 'sweet pure agony of being in love'. One of the perks the movie offers is the fact that you'd recognise most of the faces in the movie, including Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson, Colin Firth (Bridget Jones'), Alan Rickman (the bad dude in Harry Potter), Kiera Knightley (Bend it like Beckham, Pirates of the Caribbean) and Hugh Grant as (can you believe it?) the British Prime Minister!! Like i said, it was hilarious! (Although I must say, Mr Four-Weddings-and-a-Funeral can still charm the ladies with his foppish yet debonair ways...) Look out for the cameos! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 29,December,2003 | Ponder I've just finished a book by Francine Rivers called 'And the Shofar Blew'. It's a very real, telling, tale of the lives lead by a Pastor and his wife, called to serve a local community when the church's pastor retires. The book weaves intricately, and into depth, of the anguish the wife faces as her marriage disintegrates while her husband presses forward in building his ministry, into growing a church that he hopes would please his dad, the respected leader of a well-known mega-church. It's not a plot-driven book. The climax is almost predictable, and the pace tends to dawdle at times. But the attention to emotional detail is amazing, and you feel and cry and smile as the characters do, while facing their daily demons. I expected to turn the last page and sigh with a breath of contentment, of longing, that the journey I'd begun had ended all too shortly. But surprisingly, it left me cold. A cool splash to wake me up, to alert me to the dangers of ambition getting in the way of ministry, of being blinded by personal goals with no regard for wise counsel. Are we building projects too fast, steamrolling whatever (or whoever) gets in the way of progress? Am I constantly listening to the Spirit's guidance? Is this what the Lord wants? These questions were whirring through my head as I finished the last chapter. And I have no answers. Not yet anyways. And I'm glad for reading that book - not just due to its entertainment factor - but for the fact that it got me thinking. And to dwell on thoughts that challenge my approach to ministry, my calling (which may throw doubts in the face of faith - always an unpopular approach). To think of what I'm doing, and how it ties in with the Purpose of My life, and to think about why I choose to do what I do; why I work on the projects I do right now; whether I'm going along with the flow 'coz it's my job; do I truly believe what I say I should believe in for 2004? Questions questions questions. It's good, I think. At least I'm thinking, and not following along like a blind herded sheep. The answers, I believe, lie somewhere along the lines of dying to my Self - the Self that's lazy, unmotivated, procrastinating, happy to coast along with whatever life throws at me. And I know that's not how life should be; rolling with the punches, drifting from pleasure to pain and back again. There's more! Wake up Sparky!! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 06,December,2003 | Mother My mum's coming on Monday morning! Yippeeee! Till the 18th, after my graduation. In other news...really wondering if the journey to marriage is worth it. Sigh, the ups and downs of coupledome....sometimes i just wanna give in to my animalistic instinct and be self-indulgent. Be all drama-mama and fling something against the fall - usually the ring on my finger. Like some movie/soap opera. Don't worry peeps. It's all in my head...just a bit of a whinge in the valley-lull of my life. I realise I whinge more on my blog rather than expound on the good things happening in my life. Hmmm.. Really feeling the change in taking an active role of leadership in the church. Even friends have pointed it out, although a part of me is still reluctant to accept that I have changed, and for the better too. I'm more passionate, more vocal, feeling the zest to be close to God. (Yet strangely hypocritical 'coz I havent' been reading my Bible or spending time praying as much as I should. And it's not for anyone's, or God's sake that I do it mind you, it's really for my own. Tsk...the angst of procrastination....) To wit, I say, onward Christian soldier! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 04,January,2004 | Blogger beware Yet another dude fired from his job 'coz of blogging (one was dooce.com): See it urlLink here Blogger's advice urlLink here On another note: check urlLink this out --> interesting view on the world, people and markets. This should keep u busy for awhile... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 04,January,2004 | New Movie!!! Check out this new flick - very noir/anime/comic-book! I'm sure Tess and Ami would approve...love the feel of it already... http://www.skycaptain.com/home.html (Click on 'menu' to locate the trailer) |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 04,January,2004 | News Once more, our small little island has gained international attention! woopee... Check out ad #5 http://www.adage.com/news.cms?newsId=39422 |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 02,February,2004 | A little birdie told me... Here's an email from my mum. Enjoy. 'Hi girls, Tell you something funny..... Last Saturday, invited some old friends for CNY dinner including Egene's parents, Uncle Thomsas & Aunty Rosemary. Half way thru dinner, I tried to switch on the TV to watch the Chingay Procession 'live' but can't get it. I was asking them 'Hey, Chingay what time huh?' Then, Uncle Tom and Auntie Rose started to look at their watches to tell me the current time. One old friend shouted 'Oi, you asking your 'chingay' what is the time or you asking 'what time will be chingay be on?' Then I realise Egene's parents thought I was calling to them as 'ching-gay' in Hokkien, which means 'in-laws'. hahahah so funny...... Luv, MUm' All I can say is, OH... MY... GAWD..... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 01,February,2004 | Hi there I know I should post something up, but am not quite sure what to say. Heh. Post post blah blah blah.... So a quick recap: 1. Just returned from a whirlwind tour of Bangkok & Koh Samui, and HOME sweet HOME! 2. Now back in Melbourne, freezing in our cold 'summer' weather. 3. Over-indulged in CNY goodies over the past couple of weeks. 4. Gained extra kilos 'coz of said CNY goodies. 5. Does anyone know how to make more CNY goodies? 6. New roles at job. :) 7. Just watched Honey - am inspired once again (though not by the stilted acting) to 'shake my tailfeather'. 8. Thinking of taking dance class so I 'booty to the beat, 'yo' like Jessica Alba in Honey (and to lose said CNY kilos). 9. Thinking of volunteering at local campus radio station to 'get back into the game'. 10. Should really stop annoying habit of speaking in 'quotation marks'. Also, I confess, in my MTV-fuelled madness while back home, I bought 'In The Zone' (simply because I can and I like her ok? ). Needless to say, my friends have disowned me, my brothers loathe me, and my pet fish and I are no longer on speaking terms. Sigh. ;) |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 14,April,2004 | Am enjoying... This has by far gotta be the best publicity effort we've seen in a while...babies and celebs, what'll they think of next?! urlLink Who is that with Jeremy? |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 07,April,2004 | Silly Songs with Sarah I'm not sure if I've ever shared my 'Wilbur' song with anyone via my blog, but I thought, heck, maybe I should entertain people once in awhile... To the tune of Copacabana His name was Wilbur He was a show-pig With that blue ribbon on his snout He was the one that was no doubt He was the winner! For all their dinners... Bring out the forks, and the knives, and the plates, Because dear Wilbur... bam bam bam He's Christmas ham... How didja like that? Didja didja DIDJA ??!! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 07,April,2004 | Thrills and Shpiels I'm surprised urlLink my other blog is still around, considering I haven't updated it in ages!! Enjoy. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 07,April,2004 | Comparative Natures Right after I blogged the last post, I took it upon myself to visit other bloggers' blogs - mostly friends from church. Boy oh boy, have I got a lot of catching up to do, especially with this bunch of eloquent peeps we have. And all emerging from the woodork! They have a knack of turning the terribly mundane to something far more interesting! Very much like how my sis does, with urlLink her blog , which btw, is still one of my all-time fav. blog reads. Hmm, doesn't quite run in the family, if you know what I mean... Ah wells, back to work! Seeya in a while. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 07,April,2004 | Hmmm Haven't blogged for a long time, primarily 'coz ive been caught up with work, plus I've been, well, er, lazy. 'Hi, my name is Sarah, and I'm a lazy blogger.' 'Hello, Sarah.' Teeeheeee.... Also, if you're wondering, or waiting for me to say something new and exciting... erm, I will. Soon enough - be patient my young padawan. Provided I'm not being the lazy blogger that I am again.... Ack. It's too early in the morning. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 28,May,2004 | Frustration Part 2 Wouldn't you know it. Just as I'd predicted aloud to Yuls - 'y'know what the funny thing will be? I start typing and he calls to say he's on his way...' No prizes for guessing what happened next... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 27,May,2004 | Frustration I'm so frustrated! At the lack of productivity. At the hunger pangs caused by waiting...waiting...waiting... I'm meant BE at Soony and Michy's for dinner right now, yet am stuck waiting for my ride to come, who's in turn, stuck at a meeting which should have been settled eons ago. The complications of starting a new business. Sheesh... Ah wells. Yuli is heading down now to hand me some forms for data entry. Yippee. Am finally doing something... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 27,May,2004 | Tag's Here Sit straight. Now look to your right. Look at the section below 'About Me'. TA DAAAAAH!! You have just located the tag-board. Congratulations. Now, on to fixing some sorta table with links, and tidying up the look in the side boxes... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 27,May,2004 | Comments Hmm, do u guys know there's a comments function? 'Coz i haven't figured out how to add the tagboard yet, so please reply using the 'comments' button below. So far, the only comments I've gotten are...my mum's. Sigh, my biggest fan. Also, inadvertently, my biggest contributor: Saz.....Mummy like yr new blog! So refreshing! So full of life...just like you. So clean and green...so Singapore... Luv ya. Mum So Singapore??!! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 25,May,2004 | A Trip Down Memory Lane Taking my own advice, I revisited the posts I'd written when I first started. I just realised I've been with Blogger for almost exactly TWO WHOLE YEARS now!!! Can ya believe it? hehehe.... Reading the trials and tribulations of uni life brought a smile to my lips teehee. And reminded me of the anguish of assignments etc, and having my sacre bleau!! iBook damaged. Those were the days. Thankfully Azalea, my trusty iBook has served me well in the last 3 years. Only the battery's shot, 'coz of the 'overcharging' I did to her. Basically, Azalea functions more as a desktop rather than a laptop nowadays...but she's still pretty! I think the new look has really inspired me to blog/write/journal again! It's amazing what a little greenery can do to jumpstart a floundering writing career! Ok, ok. I reeeeeally need to go sleep now. urlLink Alex my man, I hear ya. Blogging is highly addictive, especially when one should be doing something else... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 24,May,2004 | Man oh man I really should be preparing for my 1 Timothy session/presentation at the meeting tomorrow arvo, but am hooked on blogging and shifting my template designs around. Oh, darnit! Wish I were more disciplined! (or at least know a little more about HTML!! Where do I add my tagboard html in this new template?!!!) Father, please give me fresh inspiration, wisdom, and discernment as I tackle the Pastoral Letters tomorrow! (This really feels like I'm back in school, tackling last-minute homework. ACK!!) |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 24,May,2004 | How Do Ya Like It? How do u like the new look? I like very much. Me so happy. Yay. On a serious note, it'll take awhile to put in the shpiels and tagboard and the links I've had before, so bear with me. (On the plus side, my archives have returned!! YESH! You can now revisit posts of years gone by, and see my personal journey in Melbourne!!) Anyways, if u have any comments on the new look, let me know - leave a comment! For the meantime, enjoy the scenery. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 22,May,2004 | Coming soon A new look will arrive. Am in the midst of choosing. Stay tuned. Also, here're the rest of the lyrics for Wilbur! Introducing....Verse 2!! To the tune of Copacabana His name was Wilbur He was a show-pig With that blue ribbon on his snout He was the one that was no doubt He was the winner! For all their dinners... Bring out the forks, and the knives, and the plates, Because dear Wilbur... bam bam bam He's Christmas ham... (doo doo doo... he's Christmas haaaamm) When he was chomped down They were still hungry They needed something added, more! Or they were walking out the door And then came cranberries Right for their tummies Juicy and sweet, they looked great, such a treat, To go with Janice... bam bam bam Their pet turkey... (doo doo doo... their pet turkeeeeey...) |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 06,May,2004 | Stay tuned Just wanna let y'all know that the next verse of my silly song 'Wilbur' has been created! In a space of only 15 minutes at Mark Teo's b'day dinner/bunch time, in between the meal and cake-cutting (it was a challenge by the fellow bunch members) last week! *pat pat pat on the back* haha... Am v. excited. Have gotten good reviews so far, and it's even inspired a cabaret-style performance idea, with life-sized props to illustrate the story, with Ellen (Philpott) and assorted backup singers/dancers in shiny costumes bobbing up and down, holding top hats and canes! Very showy, but what would you expect from a song to the tune of Copacabana?! Imagine...a darkened theatre, a solitary spotlight focussed onstage, where a lone figure sits on a barstool, her head bowed down, capped by a black fedora. The tune plays over the sound system, and on cue, I pop my head up and start singing, softly at first, then louder and louder and joined in by the bopping chorus behind me, while the dancers carry the life-sized illustrations as they prance about on stage as the sounds cultimates to its dramatic climax and..and...and... Phew!! Gotta get my head outta the clouds.... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 16,June,2004 | I am... Teeheehee, how incredibly accurate!! How to make a sarah Ingredients: 3 parts competetiveness 5 parts silliness 5 parts beauty Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of lustfulness Username: urlLink Personality cocktail From urlLink Go-Quiz.com |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 11,June,2004 | Hellos agains I have so much to get done before the week/day's up, especially in terms of the Annual Dinner that I'm planning that's coming up. So much to get done! And so many people to liaise with. Sometimes, I wonder if it's just easier to NOT work with people, especially when u have to push, cajole, beg to ask them to get things done. I hate doing it, hate being the middleman. I want the Vision to inspire people enough that they're clamouring to get it done, to support what we're planning, but those darn exams just get in the way!! Planning a wedding, on the flipside, seems to generate much more excitement. Most people ar ecstatic to be invited to be part of the intimate undertakings of planning a wedding! And I fully understand why - it's like being a part of a secret sorority that creates something beautiful, and once-in-a-lifetime chance! And I'm so terribly honoured and grateful that my friends have jumped at the chance to assist and be a part of something that holds so much meaning to me. I guess I just wish that that sort of excitement could be generated in everything I need help to do! Is it really how well I have to cast a Vision that'll inspire others to move out of their comfort zones? Sometimes even I don't want to move out of the zone myself, to do above and beyond what's just required of me. I mean it's not like I need/want others to do the tasks - but really the sense of delegation-as-empowerment. As in 'teach them how to fish, and they can fish for a lifetime', that kinda philosophy! (But of course, there are instances where my skills are sorely deprived in departments of creative design, graphics and layout, and I have to depend on others.) As you can tell I'm ranting. Lord, I ask for wisdom and strength and calmness in times like these! Teach me to be more like you! Less Self, more You!! Father, I need your supreme wisdom, patience and kindness to fill my every thought and deed. Let me not be so tired that I forget how to see others as images of You! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 10,June,2004 | Just what are collared greens??!! Tonight was spent, quite lovely in fact, in the presence of like individuals who enjoy the oftentimes eccentric humour shared intrinsically. Yes, we're all kooks. That's why our bunch's called 'Out of the Box'. That aside, it was pretty fun to revisit the Veggietales 'King George and the Ducky',not least Larry's silly song on Barbara Manatee. BUt mostly, it was the time spent after that we engaged with the creative side of our minds as we prepared for our song-and-dance bunch item for the upcoming annual dinner. In the words of Bob the Tomato, 'have we got a show for you!!' Suffice to say, we're ripping off showtunes and putting our own words in it. They're songs that kids would appreciate I presume, not least for the fact they're composed by a bunch of adults with very kid-like mentalities. I can imagine the spiel: 'Bible characters come to life in this charming stage rendition of stories like you've never heard them before!' Cue spotlight as the cast emerges. I'm lovin' it! |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 03,June,2004 | Brrr...it's cold in here...there must be some Torros in the atmosphere... It's officially the start of Winter, and the chills are setting in. Surprisingly though, today was still pretty warm. I guess 'coz it's only the 9th day of winter. Which also marks the 9th month mark of my term as an Intern at ACCF!! (applause applause) Today's BIG QUESTION: What does it mean to live a life that's adventurously expectant ? Romans 8:15 [MSG]: The resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike, 'what's next, Papa'? I guess for me, a life that's lived adventurously is one that's on the edge (however cliche that sounds!), built in faith. Expectancy calls for faith, calls for living beyond what we can see and often times beyond our means or capabilities. Adventurously - that's a call to be daring, to leave our comfort zones. So today, I shall begin like this: I adventurously expect... Post your adventurous expectancies, people! (in the comments section) |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 28,July,2004 | Hope you don't mind Bart... Here's what my friend Bart's been up to lately which I think is ultra ultra cool urlLink revamping his iBook! Qn to Bart: Is the Friend's image a temporary solution or permanent? (Hope it's the former...hehe) |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 26,July,2004 | Dissociative Identity Disorder aka Multiple Personality Disorder aka (only by popular usage) Schizophrenia A word can trigger off many emotions, and the consequent turmoil as the mind and spirit tries to grasp one that befits the occasion is...well...confusing. It's like playing word association, where each phrase conjures up an expanse of images and feelings and heightened senses. These are the words for me: Aunty Yvonne CNY Angpow Chicken Wings Wedding Funeral Life Support Heart Lung Breath Cancer Crash Distant Close Love Home Tim Danny Adeline Daisy Telok Blangah Short hair Maternal Peace Heaven Love I wonder if any of these memories are simply confabulations, stop-gaps to create a sense of connection, like I'm grasping bits of straw that inevitably slip through my weak fingers. I don't know what to feel, and I'd gather most in my situation wouldn't as well. Sad, yes but yet, at times, not really. It's only when triggers appear, or when I'm not distracted by something else, work, people, church. Like I'm trying every emotion in the spectrum for size, to see how it fits. Do I grieve? Yes I guess, where the wracking sobs appear inexplicably, but not very long each time, and anyways, just what are the rules for the mourning process? So new, this is. So very new. I wonder if my Grandma realises what's happened. And I wonder what that would trigger in her too - will she babble and smile, and greet familiar faces at the wake, not comprehending its significance? Or worse, understand the full painful measure of the loss of a child? Too many thoughts to ponder... |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 23,July,2004 | Embarking In about an hour's time I'll be on my way to Flinders, in the Mornington Peninsula area for an overnight camp/retreat/intensive with the rest of the community. We're going to be Equipped in tools, teaching, and the bonds of friendship, this Weekend, to carry us through the tide and turmoil of an everchanging world. I got a frantic SMS from my mum today, read it disbelievingly, then called her back immediately, only to hear the distress in her voice. She sounded like she'd be crying, and rightly so I suppose. We just found out my closest Aunt, on my Dad's side, has been declared (and I HATE this word) brain-dead. Brain-dead. Almost a cliche. Like a sufficiently melodramatic phenomena constantly portrayed in a daytime soap opera or Channel 8 serial. She's on life support right now, and I don't have the full details, but suffice to say, I'm shocked. I had no idea this was coming. Her cancer's been in remission for awhile, and I'd never known that she'd been in-and-out of the hospital over the last couple of months. This was sudden. Bringing up her name always conjured up images of love, warmth, and fantastic food that we'd always enjoy at her place during CNY. And though we only ever saw each other during my trips home in the Lunar New Year period, we've maintained a certain sense of closeness, I feel. I'd anticipated meeting up sometime during my trip back in December (even during CNY again if possible), or if not, at the wedding in April, but now... I don't know what I feel. Close, yet distant. Worried, anxious, helpless, yet...not quite believing it. Not quite coming to terms. Maybe my mum's message was wrong. Maybe it was a 'she might be brain-dead' kinda thing - mum often leans towards theatrics, it run in my family. We'll just have to wait and see. Maybe I'm wrong. Hopefully. Prayerfully. Uncomprehendingly. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 15,July,2004 | Lull Am suddenly filled with the depressive haze that assaults me in periodic moments. After the high from learning and utilising my brain at the Rikk Watts seminar over the last couple of days, coupled with the social performance of maintaining friendships over a meal, I'm suddenly feeling really, really, for lack of a better word, sian . I suddenly feel like I'm being extremely unproductive. Lots to do - but it's all a blur of tasks that I'm not quite up to doing. It's all the planning I have to do - hate sitting at a desk, interacting with a voiceless machine, and trying to articulate the swim of thoughts and things-that-need-to-be-done in point form. Am expected to plan and strategise. but am neither equipped nor have the passion to do so! I totally dislike a desk-bound job. And there's the praying meeting in an hour-and-a-half's time, which I don't feel like going to, yet don't wish to spend my night distracting myself with the meaningless void of watching TV or a movie. It's a waste of time, which I've always known, yet can't seem to tear myself from. Hence I've to put my foot down on that one right now. Which is why I'm going for the meeting. Altho' of course, a huge part is so I won't disappoint the people who expect me to be there - BUT! If that element serves to stop me from distracting myself with other meaningless objects, then so be it. ARGH. The groans and pains of a growing Christian living in the POST-post-modern world. Blech. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 12,July,2004 | Grandma I was suddenly reminded of my grandma. Of the fraility of life. Of the lossness of memory, of being a prisoner of self, of the fading distance between the conscious mind and the unconscious one. The reminder served to halt all trains of thought and brought great, sobbing tears to my eyes. Will I see her when I return in December? Will she live long enough to celebrate my impending marriage? Will she be there, waiting on the front porch, smiling through the haze of her cloudy vision? I wrote this in response, to that reminder: 'I'm crying at work. Sobbing in fact. Mostly due to the feeling of abject horror and loss, a total and overwhelming sense of helplessness, and guilt. Oh the guilt. That I can't even give her a hug when I most want to, that she has totally recessed from my conscious mind, only to turn up as a blip in my radar when her name is mentioned. But yet I understand the passage of life, the frailty and fruitlessness of the achievements made in decades past, fading as distant drops in the misty horizon. Which is why I'm reminded once again, that I cannot live it the way most do, climbing, clawing, attaining and ultimately losing, everything. And I'm cheered, and conforted, by the fact that she's as much an eternal being as me and you; her body and mind will disappear, but her soul, bouyed by her faith and belief in her Saviour, will never cease to exist.' To the person who reminded me, I hope you understand, too. Not because I seem to know the answer, and that this is the only answer, but it's my source of comfort and strength. He is. And will be. |
649,790 | female | 24 | indUnk | Scorpio | 06,August,2004 | Food Alert Am reading a book Charles lent to me called Eat Chocolate, Drink Alcohol and Be Lean and Healthy by Andrew Jobling. Sounds impossible? Yeah it does to me too. But catchy title aside, it's pointing out that nutritional dieting may not neccesarily mean a deprivation of all luscious food, great and holy. From the glimpses I've had, it's pointing out how moderation is key, understanding how your body works, and maintaining a healthy relationship with food to ensure quality life over YEARS. So that means a good balanced meal of protein, veggies, and YES! CARBS and FAT even! HAH! Take that, consumer marketing....No fads. Watching your Glycemic intake, eating smaller but more frequent meals, among other things. So bring on the chockkies, (just not as much tho'!) :-) On another note, am also checking out this supposedly free weight-loss programme, also touting long term effects, by watching calories. Hmmm... Oh well, we'll see how it goes. Don't worry folks, am not planning significant weight-loss, just wanna tone up and de-train myself from the unhealthy obsession with processed junk food (that's not just at Maccers but in your local supermarket too! Sob....). Am signing up with the Arrow gym too! Can ya believe it? Target date: by Yuli's wedding in December... |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | Every morning when I wake up I think, 'This, this is the day that I will go to bed early!' I hate getting up in the morning. I am so not a morning person that I am the anti-morning person. If you talk to me as I am waking, I will growl at you, even if you are being ever so sweet and tying to gently rouse me. I crave Saturdays when there are no waking up deadlines and sleep goes on and on and on. But, somehow, and micraculously, after about 15-20 minutes on the weekdays, I begin to perk up, start making the coffee (thank God for coffee) and think that maybe I can make it through the day without vertically snoring. I do end up making it through the day, but have to fight like hell not to take a nap in the afternoon. The hours between 4-6 have become my nemisis. The problem revolves around the fact that I stay up 'til about 12:30 or 1 everynight (I teach school so this is way late). There is no real reason why I do this. I am not writing a novel or developing photographs or even knitting an amazing sweater. No, you can usually catch me doing, well, nothing I guess. I can't acurately say what I do each night. Sometimes I'm reading, sometimes watching TV, sometimes reading blogs online, and sometimes talking to west coast friends. I used to actually stay up to watch Letterman, but TV bores me more and more lately. I have always been a night owl. I can't remember when I didn't like staying up late. It must have started in late elmentary school or middle school when I can remember watching Saturday Night Live and Johnny Carson with my family (I know, quality bonding time). I remember in college wishing that exams were given at night because my brain was just so much more alert then and I was convinced this would improve my grades. I still 'wake up' at about 8pm everynight. This is when I begin getting things done, the dishes, the laundry, the phone calls, the emails, the projects, the organizing. About 2 hours into my second wind, I remember that I wanted to go to bed early so I don't feel like shit in the morning, but 10pm rolls around and I think I can give it one more hour and then I think if I go to bed at midnight I'll still get about 7 and 1/2 hours of sleep. Sounds good, but this never happens. So, everynight I stay up doing things that will sadly not bring to me to enlightenment anytime soon. I wish that I could say that I have an extraordinary social life filled with late night gallery openings and wild parties, but no. That's not me anyway. Instead, I'll be washing my hair, helping my friends pick the perfect bridesmaids dress online or shutting the world out with a book. Tonight I will be, um, let's see, um, well, how about reading my fabulous travel book on London (no, I'm not going anytime soon, I'm just obsessed) until midnight. And tomorrow morning when I wake up I will think 'This, this is the day that I will go to bed early!' |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | Who, pray tell, designed apartment buildings so that you can hear everything that is happening in the apartment below you with almost complete and utter accuracy? I mean, is it that hard to place some sound absorbing panels in between the floors as you build? Think, architects, think! My neighbors downstairs are college students. Why they live in our beautiful, mostly populated by the elderly and some young professionals, far away from the college they attend apartment complex, I don't know. And, I actually, don't know them. I know that one is a boy and one is a girl. I know that the boy plays guitar and sometimes tries to sing along, mostly Dave Matthews songs. I know the girl will occasionally put on some Jason Mraz. (My connections to the above musicians would probably blow their minds, but I will never be friends with these college brats and so they will never know.) And, I know that I can hear the boy cough at times. What does that mean he can hear me do? I wonder about this one. Tonight, they are listening to the radio and they have what I think is a subwoofer cranked up so as I sit here trying to watch TV or listen to my music, I just hear deep voices and bass. It BLOWS!!!!!!!!! So, being the oh so nice and always ready to lend you some sugar should you be baking something neighbor, I turned up my subwoofer to the MAXIMUM. Take that you slackers! I am usually quite kind with my subwoofer. When my brother installed it and put it at Maximum, I told him I had neighbors below and that it needed to go lower, a lot lower. So much for thinking of other people. The reason for this retaliation is that I think that they like to bang their ceiling, my floor, when they think that I am being loud. I am not loud. OK, so I always have some kind of noise on, I hate quiet, but when I am watching TV and they bang, and I check the volume, it is on 2 bars. 'OK people, I pay enough in rent to listen to my TV at 2 FUCKING BARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' I am not actually sure what the banging is about. I wonder sometimes if it is my imagination. What could 2-3 pounding-like sounds in rapid succession be? One day I came home and as I walked in the door I heard the 2 bangs. I threw my stuff down and yelled at the floor 'I haven't even been here to make noise. What, you don't like it when I open my door?' Maybe, just maybe, there is some phantom mouse running around and driving them crazy while I am constantly monitoring my volume. I can't help but remember the Friends episode where the old neighbor below is always banging on his ceiling when the friends are not actually making noise. When he dies and they go to his apartment they hear what sounds like a party going on above them, but they are all in his apartment. Could this be what is happening in my building? I don't know, but I always turn down the noise if I hear the banging until, of course, tonight and the subwoofer wars. Game on! |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | Richmond's annual chili cook-off held many feasts for my eyes: 1) William Hung. I know, you're jealous. He was one act among many at the festivities and his one song performance of 'She Bangs' was almost worth the $20 admission fee. 2) People wearing clothes that should have been retired years ago (or never purchased)- a) Belly shirts- these should only be worn by people who do not actually have bellies and then only when they want other women to hate them. b) Clothing that is too tight- there was a woman who looked normal in everyway except that her tan linen pants were a bit snug above her thighs, and by snug I mean she had a perma-wedgie. c) Stripper shoes- The shoes which I am referring to had a 3 inch clear plastic heel, silver souls, and clear plastic straps. I know, you're jealous again. Note to self- don't go to the chili cook-off as can't handle the dress requirements. 3) People running after beer- the beer trucks ran out of beer about an hour before the cook-off ended. We were waiting in line and when they would announce that the beer was gone people would scatter quickly to another truck, and so on, and so on. Note to self- don't go to an event where grown people run after silly things, unless there is a sale on at Saks. 4) A woman's bare ass- as I walked to my car I saw that the passenger door of the car beside me was open, blocking my door. There was no one around and as I got closer and closer I looked for someone to tell that I needed to close the door. Then, as I approached my car I saw that there was in fact someone behind the door, a woman's bare ass peeing. Um, OK, um, um, look in the other direction, um, wait, um, don't look, hope that friend tells her I am here, um, um. When she is done and is pulling up her pants over her bare ass and says 'I'm sorry, I just really had to pee,' say 'It's OK, do what you gotta do' and quickly get in your car and pull away. Note to self- never, never have to pee that bad. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | When I checked the mail one day last week and saw the oversized, cream envelope with my name and address perfectly printed on it, I thought 'Oh hell, here's another one.' I open it to find an invitation to a cousin's wedding in May. As I scan the card for the wedding, the reception, the directions, and the reply card I think, 'And so the season begins.' Every year there is a flow of weddings in my life. I have probably been to at least 50 weddings since I was small. Since college, they just keep on coming. Someone told me that there is usually a boom right after college and then again in your 30s. Um, there has been no let up in the bombing, apparently the troops refuse to surrender, give up and just go home. I do have to say that I sometimes, am on the firing squad, well in some capacity anyway. This year marks the seventh run as a bridesmaid for me (OK, so 2 of them were my brothers, but still 7, come on people). That's right, seventh (this does not include the ones in which I will merely be a spectator). I love my friends and family and am so honored to be included in these special days and this is no diss on them in anyway. This is all about me. I mean, it's always about me anyway, right? This year are the weddings of 2 very special people, my cousin who is like a sister to me and my best friend who basically is a sister to me. These are probably the most special ones that I will be a part of and in my best friend's I am the maid of honor. When she asked me, I cried, and then reality set in, this is my 7th time walking down the aisle, alone. Oh, there are no pitty parties, Anna is an independent. One friend said, 'Well, at least you're getting closer.' I was like, um thanks, that's as close as I want to be, for now anyway. So, I do my duties of planning and attending showers, giving my measurements to strangers (probably the worst part of the whole process), and being there for the bride in any way she might need. I do all of this thinking, as Cinderfuckinrella (thanks Pretty Woman) did, that someday my prince will come. But, oh no, don't think he needs to rescue me, no. I've already rescued myself. I want a prince for all the other reasons, plenty of cash, big house, private jet. No, really, I want a prince who is prince of humanity in that he treats me and everyone I love with kindness, who is so funny that I laugh out loud just thinking about things he has done or said, who wants to learn to do things that I love just because I love them, and who wants me to do the same for him. I think my friends (and cousin) have found these princes, I know they have. I'm just hoping that they haven't gotten the last ones. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | I love NPR. Music stations can make you feel like you are stuck on repeat of a mixed CD. The same songs over and over. People, please. But then, there in the distance, on the hour, every hour, and during rush hour and some good hours on Friday night and Sunday, there is NPR to rescue me. I like a pop song just as much as the next person, but I don't think that I ever actually will 'find [you] in a club with a bottle full of bub,' but I do know people who have taken prozac which now appears to be causing suicidal tendencies. (I heard this tidbit before eyeing it on any other news source that day.) I love the idea of multitasking, driving and getting abreast of what is, or is not, going on in the world. I can't watch news on TV anymore, unless it's BBC and then only when I'm actually in England, because the inane (trying to be) analytic dribble drabble that procludes from these people's mouths is too much for me to stand. I tell my father everytime that I am home that FoxNews is one of those broadcasts that actually does write its copy for people with an 8th grade education because that is there audience (if you didn't know, that's suppose to be the industry standard for level of writing, 8th grade, yeah I know). He just ignores me and continues to be 'dumbed down.' Newspapers are fine, but I don't have the dough to subscribe to them and reading a newspaper online just doesn't seem right to me. And so, when I get in my car and I'm just sick of hearing the same 4 songs, I check the clock and thank God that it is after 4 in the afternoon and there is information to be learned as I drive home. Some days, I even leave early in the morning so that I can hear the more in-depth news as I drive in (the closer you get to 9am the more 'entertaining' the pieces get). I mean, all things considered I just need a little fresh air to handle this American life. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | Today I heard a school secretary say to a little girl, 'Now, you're not going to get suspended anymore, are you?' As I passed by the conversation I wanted to say, 'No, you're wrong. This little GIRL wouldn't do something to get suspended. I mean look at her, she's cute, well-dressed, calm, and polite.' And then metacognition set in and I realized that I had just committed a mental act of sexism. Our mothers might not understand why this scene might make us step back and take note of our place on the 'balance of the sexes.' My mother didn't even begin college until I, her third child, was in elementary school. And she is the only one of her sisters to have a college degree. A few years ago, she got her Masters in Administration (approximately 1 year before I go my Masters), hoping to become a school principal. It seems that her age has hindered those hopes, sexism replaced by ageism. (My mom is older than my friends' parents. She has a 39 year-old son after all.) I'm not sure if this is really true, but she continued teaching and thanks to Bush's unfunded No Child Left Behind, she has, in fact, been left behind. It now appears that she must have in hand a different type of Masters to do the same job she's been doing for 3 years. But, I'm sure that 40 years ago she never would have thought she'd be worrying about what type of Masters Degree she had. Former generations of women only hoped that women would have as many choices and possibilities that we do now, but with the entire world laid out before us, what do we really have but more questions? What if we just want to be married and have children? And that's it. What if we want it that simple? Is it sacrilege to not take advantage of the choices, or is that the whole point anyway? I personally would feel no shame in dropping the 50,000 dollars and 20 plus years spent on my education to be a happy homemaker. But, alas, baby making and the perfect spinach quiche are not the path I stumbled onto, nor will it be anytime in the near future. After all, I have a research project due for my 'might turn into a PhD' class. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | When riding my bike and a slight hill appears I must use all my leg power to tackle the mere incline (I'm not talking real hills). As I'm peddaling with more and more emphasis I can't help but be aware of my powerhouse legs. My calves are huge and this is not actually related to me being overweight. There are two reasons for my treetrunk legs. First, there is genetics (I know, blame your mother). But seriously, I've never seen the women in my family ever really break a sweat, sure there is the occasional walking of the dog, but no intense exercise going on, and yet these women do not have dainty legs. We have legs built for... well I don't know what for. The second reason is Linda Watkins School of Dance. I was a dancer from age 4 to 18 and dancers have powerhouse legs, how else could they leap like that? I tapped, balleted, toed, and jazzed my way through 14 years of jetes, plies, and time steps. I usually hated dance class, but the recitals I lived for. There is nothing like being on stage and performing. My favorite was the kick line. And still, years later, when I hear Elvis Costellos' 'Hot Hot Hot' (which is not that often) I want to throw some eye high kicks and do a split, oh there were splits. Sadly, I couldn't do a split now if you paid me. I miss the way a dancer knows her body, how every move is fluid and somehow perfectly calculated, even walking can be a dance. Our dance instructor used to tell us a story about a dancer's grace. The story goes that she was coming home from the grocery store holding a bag of groceries in each hand. When she stepped up her back stairs to her house, she slipped on a thin layer of ice. And this is where the grace comes in- she would emphasize that because she was dancer, she knew how to fall and thus landed safely on the ground, legs folded perfectly to soften the full body blow. The strange thing is that I don't remember ever practicing or in fact ever falling in dance class, but I understood what she was saying. A dancer's right hand always knows and reacts to what the left hand is doing. I've never broken a bone, pulled a muscle, or torn a ligament, could this be due to the dancing? I don't know but, thanks to Linda Watkins, when I'm 85 and fall down my front stairs, I may not in fact break my hip. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | I was cruising on my bike through Windsor Farms today. It's a posh neighborhood in Richmond's westend where the houses are big and beautiful, the yards are kept up by hired hands I'm sure, and all children go to St. Catherine's, or St. Christopher's (cause being educated along ghettofied kids is to much of a reality for these folks). OK, so I would like to own a house here, but my kids would go to public school, damnit. On my bike tour past the beautiful AgeCroft (yes, some aristocratic cook had the house torn apart and shipped over here from England, but this was a long time ago when ghettofied kids would have been slaves). The house is amazing and has a prescious spot in Richmond, it rests on a small hill and looks out to a small mountain which has not been tainted with developments. It's serene, and reminds me of my hometown and of my last home, C-ville. Growing up among moutains, I hated them. My hometown is in a valley and therefore surrounded on all sides as if the hills protect and keep the people below. And, in many ways they did, my hometown is a sheltered place. Though quaint at times, it could possibly be the redneck version of 'A City Upon (surrounded by) A Hill (hills).' But, we all know what happens to Utopia, oh yeah, it doesn't exist. So, for most of my life I have cursed the moutains and hills, especially when trying to learn how to drive a stick shift (I actaully gave up trying for a good year). I didn't start to accept and reclaim them until this past summer in Montana. I traveled to Montana for a friends wedding and when I stepped off the plane and found myself surrounded by mountains I thought I was back in my hometown except there are no semi-tall buildings and I don't think they know what urban sprawl is. Throughout the weekend I kept thinking, 'What is so great about these moutains?' OK, so they are huge and the ranges are much bigger than Virginia's and they are bit more pristine, but really, no Virginian would be that amazed as I wasn't. Then when drving back to C-ville from the airport in DC and going up and down the rolling hills, I thought 'These are my hills, Montana has nothing on these.' I think I began to love my state then. I'm proud to be a Virginian which is saying something, considering I have always wished to be an North Carolinian. Richmond has no hills or mountains to look at, we're too far east. I actually miss them. Some days as I'm driving to work I feel like I don't have everything that I need for the day, I check everything, my watch, my purse, my coffee and I and can't find the missing piece, but maybe it's the moutains, the Blue Ridge, that I'm missing, without really knowing it. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | My sister-in-law had an embroidered pillow which rested on her white loveseat which sat in an area off to the side of her kitchen in her former house. The pillow said, in green thread, 'Bloom Where You're Planted' and of course had simple, colorful flowers sprouting underneath the words. The first time I saw this pillow, I thought 'What a great saying.' After 3 eye-opening, ego-blasting years in a teaching position that drove me to see a therapist, a move to a new city, a new job, and lots of downtime, I can now see the sunlight. The cloud which followed me around all my life, much like the dust cloud that follows PigPen from Charlie Brown, has lifted. The weather is not always clear, it rains and storms still, but mostly there are sunny days. I've moved to Richmond to start over and when I first moved here I was so excited and thrilled to begin again and to do it right this time. Well, 6 months into living here, I was not happy. The cloud was back, my apartment was a shambles, and I hated waking up to go to work every morning. I was obsessed with New York City and sad that I could not afford to move there or to London, or anywhere. Then I began to repeat and reflect on that pillow in my sister-in-laws kitchen. And while I'm not ready for blooming, at least for now, I think I'll germenate. And I'm sure, with all this sunlight, a stem will form. Next Time Ginko trees live 1,000 years. Eating the leaves will clear you brain. When I heard about them, I thought of my mother, how much I would like to sit under one with her in the ancient shade, nibbling the flesh, the stem, the central vein. ~Naomi Shihab Nye |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | I love the bridges of Richmond. They are no architectural triumphs by any means. They are simple and quiet, sometimes elegant, and to me, quite satisfying. My favorite is the Nickel bridge. It is a small two lane bridge that is made of intricate iron workings on either side and is lighted by short lamps which are part of the iron work. It is a quaint bridge and one of the quite one I think. As cars pass each other in close proximity, it's as if they are quitely saying hello to each other. The one I take to work everyday, the Powhite Pkwy, is a toll bridge and although I pay everyday and hope that my $.50 will soon make enough of a difference that the tolls will soon go away, I make sure to enjoy the view on either side of me. On the left is a train bridge that was clearly built when we took time for grandeur and beauty in transportation. The train bridge is grey stone with slender arches that reach just under the flat top. Everytime I look at this bridge I imagine riding in a cafe car on a train in the 20s, sipping tea and headed south to somewhere fabulous. Just visible beyond the train bridge is the Nickel bridge, much shorter than the train bridge and sometimes I think it is a whisper of a bridge in the distance. Back to the right side of the Powhit bridge. On the right is only the James river and it's tree lined banks. The river is a bit rocky at this point and every morning I can gauge the level of percepitation west of Richmond. When the river is at a normal level, birds perch on some rocks that barely rest above the water level. The first time I saw I bird sitting on one of these tiny rocks, I wondered if he thought himself a daredevil. The Hugenot bridge is at the end (or beginning) of Cary St. It extends into the posh westend of Richmond. This bridge is two lanes with rails on either side that mimic a picket fince in metalic piping. But, it's length is what is so fascinating. It goes for at least a quarter mile and part of is not over water at all. When you start the bridge from the Cary St. side you enter and curve around into a grove of trees. Because it's a bridge a this point, you feel as if you are suspended through a small forest. As you curve around, train tracks appear quickly and then the banks of the of the river. It's a bit like a fairytale bridge, no exactly magical, but unnexpected. The Willey Memorial Bridge mimics the Hugenot bridge in length and setting, but is far different in description. The bridge is all concrete and lit by standard street lights. The Lee Memorial bridge is my least favorite. It connets downtown to a area that could be referred to as the 'projects,' a sad and large part of this troubled town. This bridge is open to pedestrians on either side so that the blank concrete feel is even more guarded by chain link fencing. Although the bridge is wide with four lanes, you feel boxed in and can't see the water underneath. The idea and realization of being suspended over rushing water does elevate the drab feel of this bridge for the brief trip over the James. The 2nd st. bridge is another non-descript bridge, but on the downtown bank there is a memorial to Vietnam veterans of Virginia. It's a beautiful memorial, a large stone wall in the background, a grand shape of a women inside, behind a glass wall. I've haven't seen it up close, it's on my list of things to do. Just the other day I discovered an walking suspension bridge under the 2nd st. bridge. The walking bridge literally hangs below the towering car bridge above. It reminds me of the Millineum Bridge in London, another beautiful walking suspension bridge. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | My name is Anna and I reside in the old town of Richmond, VA. I'm a Virginian by birth, but this my first time living in the capitol city. I'm a teacher for children with special needs in public schools. I used to teach children with Autism which was fascinating. For a long time, Autism was my passion. At times, I still yearn to work with those kids again. I'm damn good at it, but the culture of Autism is too abrasive for me. It's a complicated, long story. I love the kids, it's just everything that surrounds them and thus henders a teacher's effectiveness was too much for me. I like what I do now, but not sure if I love it. What does it mean to love a job? What does it mean to love anything? I just turned 27 with no fanfair and am in the throws of confusion and searching that inhabits all 20somethings. Things about me: when 'Sex and the City' ended I felt like my best friends moved away. I love my nieces and nephew. I love to read pop fiction (yes, Bridget Jones is a friend of mine). I have TiVo. I used to write poetry (fairly seriously in college and worked with some big names). I have a very well decorated apartment, it's beautiful if I do say so myself. I love to cook and don't do it enough. I need to learn to exercise frequently. I wish that I could: take amazing photographs, publish some poems/ book/ picture/ dna, travel to any city anytime, live in NYC, live in London, etc. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | Do you remember watching music videos? I mean really watching them, like for hours. My brother and I, along with some neighborhood kids at times, would sneak snippets of MTV. We were banned from such filth as kids though we seemed to watch endless amounts of it, our parents not as quick as they were prudish. I was enamored with George Michael. Funny, he never seemed gay to me at age 10, but then again I didn't know what gay was then either. He was the perfection of hotness to me and that song, Careless Whisper, where he crones after a lover lost and that stubble, whew that stubble. These days, he's not so hot and I wonder why I never saw the obvious 'batting for the other team' going on, but again, this was the 80s, I don’t think he was letting many people in on his secrets, lest he lose album sales. A few months ago I was flipping through the channels and found FUSE, a music video channel here in Richmond where all they do is play videos. I was stunned. Some flashy hip-hop song was on and I paused, filling the commercial time during another program and actually watched a whole video. I felt like I was 12 again, the volume turned down, the den door closed, and my finger on the remote ready to switch channels should the door open and my mother walk in. I haven't watched another video since that FUSE moment months ago. I miss the old videos where the stories were weak, if anything, the bands were overly made up, and the women had clothes on. The current generation has no idea what endless, mindless hours of music videos are like. They think MTV was created to expose the unreality of 18-23 lives. The teeny boppers today won't have slumber parties and stay up late to see how many times their favorite videos appear. They're lucky if they see their favorite video once during the terribly drab TRL. And, what happened to a music video doing magic for the unknown artists? The one hit wonders of the 80s would be nowhere without their videos. Remember Divo and the whips? My brother's band made a video a few years ago. And if you blinked you missed it. It did nothing for them because kids don't watch videos anymore, they want the (non) reality shows or the watered down, over-produced, uncreative pop star in their mist, and they only want the 10 best knows videos of the day. Or at least, this is what MTV thinks they want. MTV has gone from groundbreaking to heartbreaking. And VH1, don't even let me go there. And it's sad to realize that I am no longer the target audience of MTV. They don't care about my demographic anymore, even though I busted my butt sneaking hours of videos into my childhood. Sorry Dire Straits, you can have your money for nothin'. It turns out I don't want my MTV. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | I was playing with my 3 year-old niece today when she said 'I'm the king of the castle.' Then pointed to me and said, 'You're the dirty rascal.' And I was immediately placed inside the melody of CRASH. I was irrovacably sadden that my childhood is now wrapped inside the lyrics of a Dave Matthews song. Then later, in the backyard waiting for the hotdogs on the grill I heard a bright, highpicthed song lingering in the air. I knew immediately that it was an ice cream truck. Whew! How long has it been since I've seen on one of those. Oh, the days of yore. *sigh* |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | People, really. You can leave comments. I don't bite and I like to hear from the people I love in my life. Really, I'd like to hear from you. Seriously. If you stop by, tell me so. Love ya, |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | I'm funny. Ask my friends; they'll tell you I'm funny. It's my thing, my party trick. I come from a long line of funny people. No, none of them are famous. We're funny the way your family is funny. The way you take family or friendly information and turn it around, spin it on it's head, give it a sarcastic tone or link it to a historical travesty and spit it back into the air. My relatives have dry and sarcastic one-liners down to a science. It's like a racket ball game when we are gathered together. The puns and witty observations fly so fast you’re not sure you can hurl them back, but then, you do, you always do. And so, I find friends who can play this game, who can come together in one accord on making fun of the world and each other. Friday night, sitting amongst a group of co-workers for 'happy hour' I was anything but happy. Oh, I was jovial and jokey and witty and brilliant, but somewhere along the line I realized that this wasn't the real funny me. I had to work hard that night to tone my references down and to pull what little information I knew about these people to the front of my brain. I've only worked with them for 6 months and this is only the third large group social thing we've done. There is a few staff I know really well and with them I can joke all day, there is enough reference material there, but when you stick me with a large group of people I only see in the hallways I can't do much. My jokes on Friday landed on unfertile ground. There were some hits, but mostly misses. When you don't know the people well, you're jokes and puns and one liners have to come from outside the group, I usually choose current events, historical events, local events, world events, OK so anything really. But I'm sad to say I don't think my audience understood my references. There was a discussion of a painting in the Mexican restaurant, which was of a man holding his own head. I said I thought it was John The Baptist and then asked whose name was signed. It was Raphael. I stated again that I was pretty sure it was John The Baptist. A co-worker said, 'Is it a religious thing?' 'Um,' I thought, 'I give up.' Then there was my self-deprecating comment when another co-worker asked if I had gone to VCU with him, that I looked like someone in his ethics class. I stated that I had no ethics, so no, I didn't go to VCU. He didn’t bowl over with laughter. 'What’s wrong with you?' I thought and then realized I don't really know these people. Sometimes I don't want to spend all that time it takes to get to know people, I just want it to be immediate. My cousin's wife was telling me about a dinner party she and 5 other women have every month. They get together and discuss politics by having various members' research topics then they come together to discuss. She said she thought of me and that this is something right up my alley. Well, after tonight and the failed attempts at garnering some sort of recognition for my brilliant repartee, I think she is right. I need some good conversation, I need some deep thinking, I some cognitive stimulation. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | I went to Carytown today with my brother's little family. My 6 year-old nephew's artwork was being displayed in a window of a store there, part of a city-wide school art project. He was 1 of 2 children chosen from his 1st grade class to be placed for all the passersby to see. It was a great picture full of blue and red and purple and white and yellow. There was clearly a sky with clouds and then there are 2 distinct sections on the bottom. One blue square section takes up the majority of the picture with two building shaped things inside. To the right of the large blue square is a skinny blue rectangle with an American flag in it, just hanging out. I asked the little artiste what exactly he had painted and he shrugged. His grandmother said it was a house and then I asked 'Well, is it a house that you thought up in your mind or a particular house?' He said he just thought it up. 'All right, well, good picture little boy.' I then began talking and playing with the little nieces when the artiste's mom states that the two buildings are 'Our house and Annie’s apartment building.' I turned my body and swung my head around, 'What, my apartment building?' To which the little one said 'Yeah' in his sweet, Well-what-else-could-it-be-? voice. I looked at the picture again and there it was in all the many colors. It was clearly a small one-story house sitting beside a 3-story brick apartment building. How did I not see it before? I said, 'Well, look at that, I'm famous.' And then the love swept over me. When a 6 year old paints your apartment building into a picture, that is love, real love. Thank you my little A----baby. I love you too. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | I believe that dog-earing pages in a book is sac-religious. I think I may have engaged in this practice when I was 12 for a day or two, but it never stuck. It seemed too finite a thing to do. Reading a book is a fluid thing. Though you stop, put it down, go on about your life and come back to it, the story is fluid, or should be. So, to me, dog-earing the pages is like telling the pages, even the words to stop going, stop moving because the crease is always there. It stands as an acknowledgement that someone paused this scene, stopped the monologue, or took a break between chapters. It will take days of hard pressing to reduce the dog-eared indentation. For me, the damage is permanent. Literal and literary disrespect has occurred, something a book can never shake off. So I use anything I can get my hands on to save my places. I have bookmarks, but they never seem to find their way into the books. In bookstore checkout lines I see pretty little bookmarks with clichéd phrases and artsy black and white pictures and salivate. But my Pavlovian reflexes are always pushed aside because I know that the $3 bookmark will sit in a drawer or beside a stack of books and never actually make it into one. There is no real reason for this. When I need to hold my place I franticly search for something flat or something related to the process of reading. Beside my bed there are a number of books 'held' by varying objects. The most frequently read book has my glasses holding court, the short story book that I dip in and out of is splayed, open side down on a table, a book of memoirs is conversing with my itty bitty book light™, a travel book on London is held in place with the thin, red, satin ribbon attached to it, and another short story book has the receipt for itself tucked inside. The receipt is my favorite placeholder. I think this is partly sentimental in that every time I open the book I look at it and remember the store and the circumstances for the purchase. Partly I'm sure I do this to subconsciously remind myself to get every bit of escapism and pleasure out of the $10.95 I spent on the paperback edition. And partly because it's convenient and perfect. A receipt takes up no space between the pages, it doesn't ask you to clip it on, it just slides right in like it was meant to be there and it never leaves a mark. It's the answer to the damaging dog-ear. It's the lazy woman’s pause button. It's quite possibly the very best un-bookmark. Yesterday I was digging through my assortment of not-yet-read books and discovered an odd bookmark tucked inside Carson McCullers' THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER. I'm sure at the time, my former therapist's business/ appointment card was the closest thing around when I stopped reading. I can't imagine that I just randomly put this card in this book. It was slipped between pages 4 and 5. A bookmark placed so early in a book would make me think that I never really began reading it. Maybe I went for a teaser from the first couple of pages. I have a terrible habit of beginning books and then about 20-50 pages into it, I pick up another book (see the bedside assortment listed above). This is one of my worst habits and one I really hate. Commitment phobia rears it's ugly head in some many places in my life. I just can't help but think there is a small, or rather quite large, message in THAT card in THAT book. Sometimes I wonder... |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | I have seasoned chicken in the oven right now. The smell is amazing and began wafting from the kitchen about 10 minutes after I put it in the 350º box. The smell is of earthy paprika, pungent garlic, and sweet basil. It smells like home, like a weekday dinnertime when a family's house is quiet after a day of harried activities and mouths are watering. My father gave me this container which describes its contents as 'The World’s Best Chicken Rub.' He bought it at Food Lion, a place I never go because Ukrop's has spoiled me and I am OK with the overpriced ingredients for my cooking, or lack there of. I don't even know where a Food Lion is around here. I'm sure I've passed one on my travels trough town, but I couldn't tell you where. The seasoning gift was unexpected and handed to me in the Food Lion bag with the receipt still inside. Two containers where purchased, one for me and for my brothers family. I think I was the afterthought, but my dear sweet dad didn't want to leave me out. The seasoning is described as a 'rub' and the directions tell you to brush the seasoning mixed with oil and lemon juice over the chicken. In my kitchen, the brush consists of a plastic bag and there is no lemon juice. A poor single girl's kitchen is usually devoid of fancy cookery, i.e. brushes or fresh citrus. I actually do own a cooking brush, however, I believe I bought it at the dollar store and then only in the hopes that I would someday make delicate puff pastries brushed with butter. I have made none so far. The brush did make an appearance two weeks ago on Easter weekend when my visiting mother sort of decided I would cook a ham for the family on Saturday night. I didn't know until I was cooking it that this would be my job. I've never cooked a ham before. Luckily, store-bought spiral sliced hams are pre-cooked, you just have to know how to heat them up and glaze them. The glazing scared me and when I asked my mom how to do this she simply said 'brown sugar and mustard.' 'OK,' I thought 'but how the hell much of either one?' I couldn’t ask her again, she was busy with my little nieces and there was an air of 'Have you learned nothing from me?' in her voice. I looked in the cupboard and found a clump of petrified brown sugar and of course there is always mustard in the fridge. I remembered that brown sugar comes back to life with heat so I set the stove to high flame, put the brown sugar and a splash of water in a small pot, squirted about 6 seconds worth of mustard and stirred. The resulting taste test was good; it tasted familiar, like sweet Easter ham. Two hours into the ham warm-up I pulled it out and brushed on my brown sugary mixture. The glaze was perfect, sweet and tart and just right for a first time try. My parents let me keep the leftovers because I'm poor and because they live 3 hours away. I said thanks, that I'd eat on it all week. I didn't touch it after they left, despite my glaze of glory. The first few months I lived on my own with no dining hall or catering company to feed me (college dorms and sorority respectively) I bought more food than 3 people could eat in 2 months almost each week. I researched and concocted difficult recipes from Martha Stewart and Junior League cookbooks. I even spent 3 hours on a fancy dinner for a going away party for a friend once. (I've since learned that friends will come over for your grilled cheese as much for your 'whole roasted chicken with goat cheese and sage.') Now, I've settled into the typical single girl's fridge. I have a door full of condiments waiting for a salad or bread and meat or even fries, but I have none of those things actually in the fridge to put them upon. In college, my fridge was stocked for weekends and nights I just didn't want to leave the apartment to go eat with my 'sisters.' One roommate and I would try to make what we thought were balanced meals. We would go grocery shopping and come home to heat up canned beans, boil a bag of rice, and bake chicken with rosemary in tinfoil for 45 mins. We thought our moms would be proud. We also bought an entire red velvet cake once and after 2 days gave up the polite slicing and plating to simply spear it with a fork as we stood at the kitchen counter in our pajamas and bare feet and chatted about how we had really sunk to a new low. During the day today I had a brilliant thought of going to the store after work to pick up a fresh lemon to squeeze in the bag with the chicken and over some freshly cooked rice. I never made it to the store and the poor herbed chicken has no side dishes, no friends to share the stomach with. A single girl just doesn't have the time or the energy really for all the fuss, and especially all those dishes. There will probably be no leftovers either (what with the 1 piece of chicken I fixed), my fridge will go another day (or 10) with not much more than fancy mustard and light Italian dressing. But, right now my dinner's calling me. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | Miraculously my blessed computer is now typing. I have no idea why it decided to go bananas and turn the letters 'HJKL andM' into '1234 and 5.' I took it to school today and I think maybe my baby didn't like being away from home. I wasn't that upset as my computer has been showing signs of trouble for a few months and I expect that everyday may be it's last day. I have an order to send it in to Apple but am terrified that they will wipe out the memory and start over with all the programs. This makes me want to run away with my sweet sick computer and try to nurse it back to health. But, I know I can’t do that. So I'll have to work on saving all my things like my music and documents and pictures. This is not that hard, just dump it on a disc, but I have a habit of rereading things and going through everything and reminiscing. What should take me about 2-3 hours will probably take me 2-3 days. I'm just sentimental like that. My laptop is my baby. In fact, that's its name, My Baby. In the upper right hand corner of my Macintosh G4 Titanium is a tiny replica of my hard drive and the words 'My Baby' underneath. My laptop is one of my best friends. Not like 'Oh I can’t wait to go home and type on my computer.' But kinda. And no, I'm not a computer nerd. I use it for writing and Internet and well… music and pictures and to watch movies and a to play a game for about an hour every 6 months or so. It's like a best friend who enjoys a good flick, listens to my favorite tunes, and doesn't disagree with my neurotic banter, AND travels with me almost everywhere I go. This current computer is 2 years old, but is still fabulous. When I bought my G4, my older G3 was only 2 years old and one of my brothers thought that I was crazy to buy another one and asked which one I liked better. I stated that it was like choosing between two children, it was like Sophie's Choice, the Apple Macintosh version. If you like Macs then you LOVE them. There are few Mac people who could go either way, PC or Mac. I am quite obsessed with my Macs. I've had 3 so far and used pretty much every version they have come out with. They are beautiful, efficient, and easy to use machines. This is the first time I have ever had enough trouble with one that the friendly techies on the Apple help line couldn't solve. This is the first time they have asked for me to hand over my baby. I'm scared, but today with the typing fiasco I came to terms with having to let go for bit and let the experts do their thing. Then I realized that my G3 was still available. I couldn't wait to get home and dig it out, to feel the tall, black keys under my fingers. Pressing them is like pressing down on soft dough. It makes writing fluid and effortless. I miss that keypad. When I opened the black chunky laptop I ran my hands over its edges. The design team at Apple gave the G3 PowerBook curves, like a woman. The edges are smooth and shapely; the sides of the computer make subtle 'S' shapes. It's high fashion, computer style. I miss the friendly rainbow Apple at the base of the screen. It goes to show that Apple did not make a big enough impact on the world market to claim the rainbow Apple without bringing along the rainbow symbol and all of its stereotypes. Apple now goes for a sleek mono-colored, often white or grey, Apple, a more stylish replacement to its colorful twin. The rest of my G3 is simple and elegant. There are no extra buttons to 'go straight to the internet,' 'open you’re email,' or anything else that junks up a PC keyboard. There could be key functions that did those things for me of course, but I get to decide, Apple does not predetermine my preferences. I think the thing I love most about Apple is the company's adherence and strive for simplicity. Their computers have clean lines and their mice have one button, not five. Choices can complicate life. A simple gift, that is was Apple has given us in its computers. PC people think that we Mac people are strange. 'The whole world is Windows and you are using a Mac. You poor deluded youth,' someone once told me. I told him he better step back and then began my rant on why Macs reign supreme. I was showing someone a keying shortcut on a Mac (like open Apple and s for save) and explaining the ease and simplicity of Macs and she said 'Oh, they got those shortcuts from Windows.' I said, 'No you didn't' and then explained how Bill Gates just made a PC version of the perfected Mac interface because people were sick of having to remember which drive to boot up and save on. Deluded youth indeed. My cousin says she would rather go without a computer than own a PC, which is what she is currently doing. She gets her Mac on at work. It's a far better place at the top of world my friends. Come to the land of milk and Apples, we are a friendly, simple-minded, and visionary bunch. And remember... as you sulk at us that almost every piece of music or visual media you hear or see has been touched by Apple. *Anna is OK with being in love with her computer. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | My computer is on the blitz. When I went to type today this is what I got: 2230234550300 and that was just hitting random letter keys. Um, OK. Have to send it off. I'm scared they will erase it's memory and leave me with a shell of a computer and I will have to start all over. But, I can't exactly do anything on it unless I develop a code language using 01234 and 5. But, who has time for that? |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | Yesterday I stopped by my nephew's soccer practice just to say hi and show him how much I love him. He loves to show off, but he also gets frustrated with not being perfect when he kicks the ball. He's 6. He has a lot of perfectionist disappointments ahead of him. While I was there a mother of another child came up to talk to my sister-in-law. She was asking who was the mother of whom and I said I was just an aunt. She stated how nice it was that I came out to see my nephew. During school yesterday a teacher was telling me about a girl who was behaving badly (there is a long story about how bad this teacher is and how she creates the behavior problems in her classroom, but that is for another day). The teacher was talking about the girl and how she lives with her aunt because her own mother is in jail. The teacher was trying to point out to the girl that she needed to straighten up because he aunt was good to her even though money was tight in her house. I hear these stories all the time, an aunt or a grandmother or even a great aunt taking custody kids in their families. For some reason, yesterday, it hit me that this is wonderful and strange at the same time. Another little boy told me a few weeks ago with a smile on his face that his daddy was out of jail. This was a follow up to the statement 'my daddy in jail' that preceded a few weeks before. I often don't know how to react to these statements and they are frequent. Richmond is a troubled town. The murder rate here evens out to about 10 murders a month. That is unbelievable to me. Crime is so prevalent that it isn't even a frequent topic of conversation. The newscasters announce the death tolls almost nightly, but my friends and I don't worry because most murders are gang or drug related. This makes us feel safer, but should it? I've become desensitized to so much in this town. I'm not shocked when teachers or kids tell me about people going into or getting out of jail or prison and I'm not surprised by bodies being found behind school buildings or churches being burned down. I can't help but think that most of my feelings about family members taking on the responsibility of other family members is cultural. Yesterday, though, I realized when that mother at the soccer field was so impressed that an aunt came out to a soccer practice that I'm so thankful that my nieces and nephew don't live with me. I can't imagine taking custody of these kids because my brother was in jail (I would of course, but I can't imagine it). I just can't even fathom it for my family and yet when a child tells me something like this I don't even flinch. It seems so normal in the schools I teach in. I realized yesterday that my desensitization is a bad thing. It causes complacency and this will never help a child. But, what can I say for Kindergartener whose role models are in jail that will stay with him and keep him off the streets when he grows up? |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | This is a quote from a graduate of my college from my graduating year, 'I am about to finish up two year of MBA education at the Wharton School and will start work in September at McKinsey & Co in their Brussels office. Between graduation and starting work I plan to bicycle across the USA in 48 days...' Our five year reunion is this summer and some people have chosen to update all those who are waiting with bated breath to see what they have been up to over that last five years. The above update caught my eye because really, as if the Wharton School wasn't enough this guy had to throw in his hot job in Brussels and then of course the side note about the cyclying across the USA, but that wasn't enough, no, then he had to add that he'll do it in 48 days. Sometimes, I wish I had gone to a podunk small town college where I would send in updates like 'I just consolidated my debt and hope to be out of my misery is 5 to 10 years.' And my podunk fellow classmates would think 'Wow, I really wish my life were as on track as hers. I really need to reassess my life and get my goals straight.' OK, well, anyway, I've got to run. My bicycle needs to ridden, around the block in 48 minutes. Wahoowah! |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | Yesterday, Bunny Day, I was driving out to my sister-in-laws' parents' house for Easter dinner (yeah, we're all close like that) and noticed store after store closed. Her parents live in the suburbs... (sorry, I just puked) and there is mega store juxtaposed to mega store juxtaposed to posh mall along the way to their house. This is how it went down inside my head: 'Hmm. Why is Best Buy closed? What time is it? It's only 4pm. Oh yeah, Easter. But Best Buy is corrupt and charges restocking fees. Why are they all of a sudden holy? More like Best Butt to me. OK, there are no cars in front of World Market, Home Depot, ah Kroger, there you go guys, sell those hams. Target is closed. What the? McDonald's? You mean I can't go get a Big Mac cause the Easter Bunny is busy. What? Oh, Wal-Mart. Good, dear sweet heathen Wal-Mart. Damn, rednecks like to shop on Easter, that parking lot is full. Is Sam Walton rolling over in his grave? Nordstrom, good for you. You show them how to fear God, close you store.' Um, I guess I've never been out on Easter Sunday to realize that we still observe this holiday by barring heathens from their purchases. I guess I am now a heathen. Well, good, really, I don't believe in judging people for their religious beliefs anyway so um, a heathen I may be, but I still hang out with non-heathens and other heathens and I love them all. I think it says a good deal about a company to close on a religious holiday in this country, being that the majority of corporations seem to pray to the God of the U.S. Mint rather than the Almighty. I didn't even go to church yesterday. This is the first Easter that I haven't been to church. I just wasn't down with going to Mass with the rest of my family (the only Catholic is my sister-in-law) cause they don't think I'm Christian enough to drink their wine (Catholics do it right, there is no grape juice up in their joints). So, I slept and joined the fam. for the important part, the food. OK, so this is all blasphemous of me to say. But, I probably would have gone shopping yesterday being none the wiser. I had no idea we were that pious a nation what with Blue Laws being banished within the last 20 years. Alright, well, you go people, stand up for something, except of course Kroger and Wal-Mart, you guys keep selling on major holidays cause you never know, I might need to buy some ice or a fishing pole at the last minute. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | This past week was my Spring Break from school and I spent most of it tidying up loose ends and looking for a condo (not successfully). All in all, not an exciting week considering that this time last year I was getting over my jet lag from London. Last year that I had a longing to revisit my favorite city in all the world. After my first tiring and horrendous year of teaching, I was planning on going backpacking through Europe with a girlfriend of mine, but she backed out. Then, I thought I would spend a summer in London as a reward for getting through the fire, but I failed to ever find out how to rent a flat for a reasonable fee for a few months. So, two years later, after 9/11 and with a pending war in Iraq, I decided that I would go to London, by myself. There is a time when you realize waiting around for other people isn't worth it. Luckily, British Airways had cheap tickets and AAA travel helped secure a great cheap hotel and off I went. My family was not pleased AT ALL. My brothers were convinced I would be blown up mid flight, my mother thought I would be killed on the streets, but I (and my therapist) thought why live in fear? I almost backed out though, because at the time the war in Iraq was only a month old and I did get scared. But I knew I had to get through the bit of fear for many reasons. So, here is what got my on the plane; I thought, sure I can stay here and be safe and not take the risk and it will drive me crazy because the plane on which I have a reservation will be flying with or without me so I can be on it and be in London or sit here for a week and wish that I had gotten on it, because after all the worrying it didn't blow up. So, I got on the plane and I loved every minute of it. It was wonderful and fabulous and there are not enough cliched things to say. I saw 4 West End shows and revisited my favorite spots and went to museums and shopped and loved it. A good many people think that it was ballsy of me to go and to go alone. I've never had that feeling about that trip. My parents instilled great traveling skills in me and traveling just feels like breathing sometimes. I love it and I must do it. I think I am my best self when I am traveling. I'm an easy traveler. I don't stress about what the day will bring or getting through an itinerary because the best things happen when you don't plan. There are too many stories to back up that statement, but the places and cities at the moment should be the tour guides, not a piece of paper or a set schedule. I missed the traveling this break. I had planned to treat Richmond as if I were a tourist this week and go to the historical places and museums that I've been meaning to go to, but the week slipped away from me and now I have a paper due. Sometimes, the real world is not quite a nice as the magical, mystical, travel filled one inside my head. Oh well, there are always books to take me there. I'm currently (and just now) reading CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET by Sophie Kinsella, a British novelist. I bought the book last year in Harrods of all places because I knew that it was not in the US yet and I enjoy her books. They are the mindless Chick Lit type that a girl just needs sometimes (don't worry I also bought some Seamus Heaney). So, I hadn't read it until now because I've been trying to read a little more high-brow (though not much more- maybe just a brow lift). So, I got it out the other night and read a few chapters each day. Then, in B&N the other day I saw it is out in hardback as a new release. Funny, how it's not new to me at all and yet it is new, now. Last year I took Kinsella's book SHOPOHOLIC TIES THE KNOT to London as I had just begun to read it before the trip. It's about a girl who loves to shop (obviously) who is British, but lives in NYC, but goes back to England to get married (again, obvious). I would take it on the Tube to read between stops because I also feel that when traveling, you don't need to always act like a tourist (do what the locals do, read on the Tube). So, I was on the Circle line train going to Leicester Square by way of Embankment reading and reading and being nonchalant. The funny thing is that I was reading about the main character visiting her friend in London and going out for tea in Sloane Square when the train stopped and the doors opened and I heard the announcement of Sloane Square station. Sometimes, the universe just aligns. And, no, I don't believe in that crap, but sometimes... Sloane Square and Sloane Square meet and I just can't compete. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | And by the devil I mean Uncle Sam. I now have to sell my soul and get a second job. Turns out, I do owe taxes (see 4/3/2004 post). I went back today to pick up the papers that had been sent to the processing center and there it was in black and white tiny type 'You owe (arrow) {a shitload}.' Thanks Uncle Sam, thanks. The reason why I owe in the first place is because I tutored some kids with Autism last year. And, being the honest taxpayer that I am, I reported all income and expenses and now I owe. That sucks. Honesty, sometimes, not the best policy for my I-really-want-to-go-shopping-but-now-I-have-to-get-another-job self. 'O where o where has my little life gone?' Over the hill to 'Do you need any help or are you just looking?' I'm thinking Barnes and Noble again. I love that place. OK, so most of me wishes that small independent bookshops were the norm rather than giant corporate monsters, but when I walk in there and there are a million books on any subject and the Starbucks and the prettiness, oh the prettiness of it all. I love that place. I have to work there, not because I love it, but because I have to, to pay the damn taxes and thereby accrue more taxes and then next year get another job and, oh god, will the cycle ever end? Fraid not. |
3,022,585 | female | 27 | Education | Aquarius | 01,August,2004 | I hate it when I settle into a quiet night of phone calls to my friends and not one of my dear friends is home. There is nothing like a warm-hearted answering machine to make a girl feel loved. I mean my friends are fabulous. They are kind and funny and fun and far away. Distance from my good friends hurts sometimes and so when I call them out of an act of loneliness and they are not at home, the loneliness gets deeper. Their fabulousness outshines my fabulousness to nothing and I go back to what I was doing before the desperate plea for conversation. Tonight, I got 6 messages and 1 number out of service. The latter was a friend of a friend that I've been meaning to have over for dinner, but come on people. Then I think about why I wanted to talk anyway. So much of the time I am just ranting on in my neurotic self-obsessed way and what is in it for them? I hope that I am a good friend, but I know that have my bad moments. One particular friend is excellent at getting me to divulge more and more information. She is a question asker and she is a lawyer. She asks for more and more info. to the point that I have to stop myself and say 'OK, so what’s up with you?' about 45 mins. into our phone calls. She is great, but she also feeds my self-obsession. She's also taught me the act the listening because she does it so well. Then there is my best friend who's mother is a school counselor, need I say more. While she herself, doesn't have a degree in counseling, she's actually a science nerd, (you know I love you PK) she is fabulous at her second job. And she does this for all her friends. In fact, she is so good she just may pick friends based on their level of neediness. Hmmmmm! The immediate lonliness was brought on by my re-watching of my 'Sex And The City' DVDs. I just really miss my girlfriends sometimes. I miss the closeness that women can have in true friendships when you live in close proximity. My best friend lives across the country and my other dear friends live 2-24 driving hours away. Oh, the mark of having successful, adventurous, independent women friends! So, I sit down and write and try to work out whatever brought me to the phone in the first place. I think about what my friends are doing right now that takes them away from their phones. Are they out with other friends? Are they watching a movie? Are they discussing recently read books? Are they organizing fundraisers? Are they laughing? Are they happy? I hope they are laughing. I hope they are happy. They are my friends and I love them. |
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