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3,369,668 | male | 44 | indUnk | Taurus | 17,May,2004 | This is my first entry. I have long wanted to a place write down my thoughts but have never gone through with the process. Today I saw an article on Yahoo that talked about this web site and decided this would suit my needs just fine. Today is my last Monday working for this company. I am a production planner. The company is closing operations in Mexico and our office, located in San Antonio, is no longer needed. I have worked for this company for twelve years, initially in Laredo Texas, and, for the last 10 years in San Antonio. Losing my job has me filled with anxiety. I have two children, a nine year old son and a seventeen year old daughter. Although my wife has a good job, I am unsure of what our future will be. My daughter will be a senior in high school next year and will go to college the year after. How we'll pay for that I do not know. My dad worked as a lithographer and lost his job when I was the same age my daughter is now. We moved to a little town in Illinois where I finished school. My senior year of high school was six weeks long. I had enough accumulated credit from the district I was in to graduate in Illinois and only had to wait through a probationary period to receive a degree. Knowing money was tight, I never asked about going to college but rather started working. My first job was with a company in Merriam Kansas near where I grew up. Finding myself in the same position now as dad was then is really scary. We kids never knew how difficult it was for him. On one hand I am sure all will turn out well and on the other I am consumed with guilt for failing my family. I worry about how we will survive financially and how we will give to our children the things we want to give them. I look at mom and dad today and see two people that have survived the years still waking each day happy and with a bright outlook. I know, I hope, I will be the same when I am their age. One of my brothers is currently searching for a job and it worries mom and dad so much I am reluctant to tell them about me. I feel so alone not sharing this but don't want to add the stress to their lives. They will probably be upset when they do learn of this but I'll accept that when it comes. Luckily, the company is giving me a generous severance package which will keep us afloat until Christmas. I have started searching for jobs here in San Antonio. I will probably have to take a job outside my experience at much less money. Finding work would be easier if I looked outside the city, or better, outside the state. I won't do that as I have promised my daughter I would not move the family before she graduated from high school. |
3,369,668 | male | 44 | indUnk | Taurus | 02,June,2004 | My son and I are visiting Mom and Dad. I have not been to their house in about a year and am overdue for a visit. It took 13 hours to drive here. Mom had dinner ready when we walked through the door. Spaghetti red, she calls it. It's pasta, hamburger, onion, and tomato sauce seasoned with chili powder. A staple from my childhood. I came here to tell them about losing my job but find I cannot do it. My brother is still searching for work and I do not want to add to their worries. Dad's breathing is worse. He and I went to the Walmart today and after walking from the parking lot to the store he had to sit on a bench to catch his breath. He has emphysema. His death looms just over the horizon. All the years of smoking have exacted a terrible toll and he knows it. It tragic to talk with him about the disease. My son spent most of the day with Mom sorting quarters and filing them in albums. She is trying to get complete sets of the new state quarters for each grandchild. He was thrilled to be helping Gram. She was thrilled too. We will be here one more day and will return home Friday. I plan to leave early so I can get home and clean the air conditioner that is having trouble keeping up with the Texas heat. The girls are home with all the windows open and the air turned off. Poor things must really be suffering. It's eleven o'clock at night. I have sorted through e-mail and checked my lottery numbers(dang! Missed again!). I am going to read the news and go to bed. Tomorrow will be another day spent with the folks talking about old stories and old friends. |
3,960,753 | female | 15 | Student | Cancer | 19,July,2004 | Its not the laughter. Its not just the fun. You always touch my heart. I know you’re the one. Your nothing less than a perfect friend to me. Don’t try to be like anyone else you don’t have to be. Its not the hours, the time that we’ve spent. Special moment like this makes you notes heaven sent. Your nothing less than the right one for me, Don’t try to be like someone else you don’t have to be. You’re the right one, the right one for me. We can be friends for life. Good friends we’ll always be. No matter where life leads us, we’ll always have each other ‘cause you’re the right one, the right one for me. Its not the sweet song. It isn’t the dream. Its just you’re my good friend and the love that you bring. Throughout the season you’re the one for me. You’re the one I love to love and you’ll always be. You’re the right one, the right one for me. We can be friends for life. Good friends we’ll always be. No matter where life leads us, we’ll always have each other ‘cause you’re the right one, the right one for me. You’re the right one, the right one for me. We can be friends for life. Good friends we’ll always be. No matter where life leads us, we’ll always have each other ‘cause you’re the right one, the right one for me. The right one for me. |
3,960,753 | female | 15 | Student | Cancer | 18,July,2004 | Our only wish for you, |
3,960,753 | female | 15 | Student | Cancer | 15,July,2004 | What a wonderful, wonderful world this could be. What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful world. Don’t know much about history. Don’t know much biology. Don’t know much about science book. Don’t know much about the French I took. But I do know that I love you. And I know that if you love me to. What a wonderful, wonderful world this could be. Don’t know much about geography. Don’t know much trigonometry. Don’t know much about algebra. I don’t know what a slide ruler is for. But I do know one and one is two. And if this one could be you. What a wonderful, wonderful world this could be. What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful world Now I don’t claim to be an A student. But I am trying to be. I think that maybe by being an A student baby I could win your love for me. Don’t know much about the middle ages. I look at the pictures and I turn the pages. Don’t know nothing about no rise and fall. Don’t know nothing about nothing at all. Boy its you that I’ve been thinking of. And if I could only win your love. What a wonderful, wonderful world this could be. What a wonderful, wonderful world this could be What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful world What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful world What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful world What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful world |
3,960,753 | female | 15 | Student | Cancer | 15,July,2004 | When I see you on the street I loose my concentration. Just the thought that we might meet creates anticipation. Won’t you look my way once before you go and my eyes will say what you wanna know. Well I’ve been thinking about you day and night and I don’t know if it will work out right, but somehow I think that it just might, if we try. Faces come and faces go in circular rotation. Something yearns within to grow beyond infatuation. Won’t you look my way once before you go and my eyes will say what you wanna know. Well you’ve got me standing deaf and blind, cause I see love as just a state of mind, and who knows what it is that we might find, if we try, and who knows what it is that we might find, if we try. Were walking different directions from most people I’ve met. You’ve given me signs of affection I don’t usually get. I don’t want you to pledge your future, the future is not yours to give. Just stand there a little longer and let me watch while you leave. ‘Cause when I see you on the street I loose my concentration. And just the thought that we might meet creates anticipation. Won’t you look my way once before you go and my eyes will say what you wanna know. Well I’ve been thinking about you day and night and I don’t know if it will work out right, but somehow I think that it just might, if we try. Somehow I think that it just might, if we try. Yes somehow I think that it just might, if we try. |
3,960,753 | female | 15 | Student | Cancer | 11,August,2004 | urlLink LINDSAY LOHAN raised the roof -- and smooched with boyfriend urlLink WILMER VALDERRAMA -- Wednesday night for the launch party of the T-Mobile Sidekick II, sponsored by the buff boys of the T-Mobile Action Sports Team: Freestyle Moto X star CAREY HART, skateboarder BUCKY LASEK, BMX riders DAVE MIRRA and RYAN NYQUIST, plus skateboarder/snowboarder SHAUN WHITE. ET caught up with Wilmer, who said his summer with Lindsay has been lots of fun and very interesting: 'I think she's an incredible girl. I'm very happy to experience some of the rollercoaster she's gone through this summer.' |
3,960,753 | female | 15 | Student | Cancer | 09,August,2004 | It's not Firday the 13th. Mr. Lago was absent. And the bullies were suspended. But Me and my friends really did have some bad luck today! First, we haven't finished our project in English, which will be submitted tomorrow! My friend, Jerelynn and Russell was left by their bus. And me and my other friends were stuck in school because of the rain. So what we all tease each other and do some crazy stuff. The only thing we did is to talk, chat, talk, and chat the whole afternoon, we were the only one left in school because it's halfday. It was almost quarter to 3 so we all just recorded our voice in the radio, and we dubbed all afternoon. We was so noisy that the teachers in the faculty room almost heard us. But we still talked and talked. We were getting really noisy, so our school directress ( which we call the 'penguin' ) heard us and started calling Mang Bhay ( our school's head janitor ) when we heard her voice, me and my friends started running, and we hid at the back of our school's canteen, but 'BULAGA' one of our janitor in school saw us. So we all run to get our bag and head off the school's gate. I was getting my radio so I was at their back when our english teacher saw me. I acted as if I didn't heard her, but I saw her furious face so I ran to catch up with my friends. We were in the gate and were trying to find some umbrellas we can use to protect our head and our uniform from the rain. Then when we had a glance from our back we saw 'THE PENGUIN' coming, so even wothout umbrellas we ran in the streets with only a folder on our head. So we thought were free from 'BAD LUCK' but we were wrong, we were all WRONG, when we was walking on the side of the street, this F****** jeepney splashed a mud in our skirts! THE END grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 21,June,2004 | Thoughts about the weekends' happenings in sports: Ken Griffey Jr. of the Cincinnati Reds FINALLY got homerun #500 versus the St. Louis Cardinals on Sunday. A lot of people have been asking, 'Well, should Griffey make the Baseball Hall of Fame?' I don't even know WHY people are asking the question: of COURSE he should! Consider the numbers, first: Only 20 players have ever hit 500 or more homeruns, and now he is one of them. That's an elite group in my book, especially being the *6th youngest player (age 34) to accomplish the feat. Griffey was also the youngest to get to 400, which is significant because it proves how much injuries over the last 4 years have really messed up a potential for a HISTORIC career, rather than a great one. His career numbers, as of now: a .293 career batting average, .562 slugging, a .378 On Base Percentage, with 2143 hits and over 1438 RBI. He's only 34! Plus, he WAS the star player of the league in which he dominated (with Seattle) from 1993-1998. AND he still has a good shot in the next 5-7 years of winning a ring (maybe even this year the way CIN has been playing). Yeah, I think the guy deserves to be in the Hall. Fred McGriff on the other hand, has played to long (19 years) and STILL doesn't have #500 (493), his RBI numbers are way too low for his career (1549), and he's just not as had an impact on the game compared to others that got in. He is however..... ....ON the hottest team in basbeall, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays! Can you believe these guys have won 11 in a row? I didn't even know until this morning that they won YESTERDAY, never mind 11 in a row. Too bad they play in the toughest division in baseball. They are 32-34 this year and 10/5 games behind the Yankees. But hey, where else can a fan feel good while saying, 'Look, we're ONLY 10.5 games out of 1st place!' All in all, just be glad that Lou Pinella won't have a heart attack for another 4 days........ Noting that milestone, it also makes me cringe that the Red Sox are now ONLY 6 games above the Devil Rays in the AL East. I'm not panicking (or at least not trying too), but the Sox usually make a June Swoon each and every single year, especially during interleague play. I think, if you are a fan, the things you have to focus on the most is that we now have Trot and Nomar back (and they're starting to play better), our pitching is still better than the Yankees (but their offense is WAY superior, kinda the opposite of last year between these 2 teams), and the fact that if you're talking Wild Card, that Texas (a good, young lineup that has average pitching) and Anaheim (a team that was my pick to go to the ALCS earlier in the year, but with all of these nagging injuries around the roster, as well as suspect starting pitching, they'll be lucky to finish 3rd in the tough AL West) are struggling, and with the Minnesota Twins/Chicago White Sox (It's like division 1-AA compared to the other tougher division in baseball) 'battling' it out in the AL Central, I think the Sox will be OK. They just need to make sure they win each series against Minnesota coming up, and the Yankees at the end of the month. It's a marathon, not a race...... .....finally congrats to South Africa's Retief Goosen on winning his second U.S. Open in Golf on Sunday. I watched and laughed as Phil Mickelson completely had a brain fart on the final two holes and not only lost the Open, but also the chance for a Grand Slam (winnign ALL FOUR major tourneys - Masters, US Open, British Open, and the PGA Championships). This guy has blown more big shots than Tera Patrick on a glory hole video. Good thing he won the Masters last month, otherwise ALL we would be talking about is how much of a choke master he is. He's still making more money than most people combined, I think he will be fine. One thing ALL golfers must be happy with: Tiger Woods becoming a non-factor all of a sudden. After dominating the last few years, he hasn't even been CLOSE to any of the major titles, never mind winning them. He barely made the cut this time! Maybe Tiger needs to go back to the Army to train, 'Abu-Gharib ' style, or maybe have Nike make some super golf shoes or something. I'll be in Cambridge tonight @ Derek Gerry's Mounting the Hump show at the Cantab Lounge on 738 Mass Ave near the Central Sq T stop. Show starts @ 8, and is FREE. You can check out more about the show at http://www.dvdemons.com/hump |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 18,June,2004 | From Friday's Boston Globe: 'Boston is too racist for me,'' he said. 'I couldn't play there.' 'Only what guys have said,' he said, 'but that's been going on ever since my dad [Bobby] was playing baseball. I can't play like that. That's not for me, brother.' When it was suggested the racial climate has changed in Boston, Bonds demurred. 'It ain't changing,' he said. 'It ain't changing nowhere.' They built a tunnel to honor Ted Williams in Boston. What did he imagine would be built for him? 'Nothing, man,' he said. 'I'm black. They don't build stuff for blacks.' ------------------------------------------------------------ O.K., why does Barry Bonds have to go out of his way to diss my city, huh? I'm sure if he was confronted on his improper grammer for the use of the wrod, 'ain't', he'd probably blame that on 'The Man' too. Does Boston have racist undertones? Yes. Even the Red Sox do (The original owner, Tom Yawkey, was from Tennessee and a former plantation owner). If you ever get a chance, read Boston Herald's columnist Howard Bryant's book, 'Shut Out'. Great stuff about how the Sox were the last team in the MLB to have a black player (Yankees were 2nd to last. You see? We CAN beat them at something!). That was also the famed tryout of where Jackie Robinson, Willie Mays, and Josh Gibson were on the Fenway grass and someone yelled out, 'Get those niggers off the field!' The city itself has had a shaky history, I'll admit it. We had the segregation of busing in South Boston during the 70's, the Charles Stewart dibacle, Bill Russell's house getting ransacked in the 'burbs, former Celtic Dee Brown being confused for a bank robber in a Wellesley bank when he was a rookie, and of course Malcolm X calling Boston, 'The most racist city in America'. It's still somewhat uncomfortable to minorities. Ever listen to WJAMN (Jam'n) 94.5? Yeah, it's a 'Hip Hop' radio station not owned or run by black people. Listen to it someday. It shows because it sucks. But the people in Boston arn't THAT bad! This isn't fucking KKKtown, Arkansas. For every one racist moment we have had, Anytown, MS has had probably around 20 to match it. It's not like we're burning crosses on lawns or having different proms for white and black students. Even black Boston athletes are being recieved more here than they ever have. And they feel more comfortable because of it. Look at Pokey Reese; corn rows n' all, he's by far the most popular player out of all of the new additions this year (AND that's including Schilling and Foulke). Plus, if Barry had known Boston's history, he would have known that when the first federal census was enumerated in 1790, Massachusetts was the only state in the Union to record NO slaves. He also said that Boston doesn't build stuff for blacks, where in fact, the African American Meeting house was built by the city in 1805 so blacks could have a church to call home (because they faced minor discrimination in white churches, and that was just by forcing them to the bleacher seats - but hey, at least the city acknowledged they're bigots!) In addition to its religious and educational activities, the meeting house became a place for celebrations and political and anti-slavery meetings, including a famous speech by Socalist Frederick Douglas. See, Barry? We arn't so bad when it comes to racism! Maybe if you came here and saw for yourself how warm of a city Boston is to minorites (And unlike in New York City, you'll even get a cab from the airport!), you would think twice about what you said. Plus, we would EVEN build something for your arrival to prove we're not racist AND to make you feel comfortable..... We'd build a needle.......a BIG GIANT needle. You'll feel right at home. Prick. |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 16,June,2004 | DID you see that god awful performance put up by the L.A. Lakers last night? Phew, for an elimination Game 5 in the NBA Finals, they sure bent over nicely for Detroit like Last Comic Standing's Ant in the U.S. diving team's locker room (Kobe might have to get used to bending over if he gets convicted during this summer). There are so many questions for the Lakers. Will Malone retire (Yes)? Is Shaq coming back (I think he is)? Where will Kobe be in 5 months (I say he'll be on the Clippers........of the Eagle County Penal League)? How about Phil Jackson? Even last night while on the bench, he seemed to be so exhausted from managing so many larger than life egos and diffusing various time bombs for the last 5 years. It’s kind of like my seeing my dad in the backyard when I was young, cleaning his 9 mm while drinking cans of Miller Lite, sitting around fantasizing about when I will finally be out of the house, then looking at me and realizing that I’m coming back for another year. I always said the one problem with the Lakers coming into this year would be their chemistry. When you looked at their roster before the season on paper, and then looked at their terrible play last night, no one thought they would ever be saying things after the season like, 'Yeah, they picked up a Hall of Famer like Karl Malone, but the Lakers sure will miss Robert Horry.' or 'I knew the Lakers were done in January when they put 53 year old Horace grant on Injured Reserve.' All kidding aside, at least those guys played together. They were part of the system, they didn't try to be the star or say anything to disrupt the team's flow. Even the young talent the Lakers have is promising. Hell, guys like Kareem Rush and Luke Walton are the types of young talent you want to develop for your future. Too bad they never got to shoot the ball, as Kobe was hogging it most of the time. Kobe wasn't even doing what he does best - penitrating to the hole >:-) I think Kobe and Shaq are done with each other. They got their rings, had their moment, now it's time to part. I just wish Reality TV pheomoneon would be the same. These Lakers remind of you of every dysfuctional family that you see on COPS. Even during the Finals, they were constantly bickering, yelling and blaming each other in front of the police while at the same time incoherently denying that they just finished smoking a crack pipe. Gary Payton sucked BALLS this whole year; he seriously needs to retire and get back to selling pot like he did in the early 90's. They don't call him 'The Glove', for nothing (cause that's where the weed was in his car). Hats off to the Pistons, though. I took a poll on ESPN.COM that asked who was the biggest factor for the Pistons, and i voted for the WHOLE TEAM. They just played together. The coach Larry Brown got them to get what he was selling, and they sacrificed individual glory for the ring. A real great season, a real great defense, and clutch offense........sounds like the Patriots! |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 15,June,2004 | Well, this is Sean Caulfield's new blog. I am a comedian in the Boston area. Hope you enjoy. If you don't know who the fuck I am, check out my bio. http://www.geocities.com/hiphopsanonymous/bio.html I'll try to post something later when I'm done rolling a blunt. |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 29,July,2004 | A report out of urlLink espn.com today says that Ricky Williams would have failed a drug test if he would has played this year, serving a 4 game suspension (which means he's tested positive twice before). And check out these pro-pot quotes (FYI, Ricky Williams has had a long bout with depression and was diagonsed with social-anxiety disorder, so he takes Paxil): '(Marijuana) It's just a plant' ''Marijuana is 10 times better for me than Paxil,'' he said. From Dolphins head coach, Dave Wannstedt: 'We knew nothing about it,' Wannstedt said. 'I'm totally surprised and shocked again.' He apparently has actually urlLink gotten away with smoking weed while on the job for the last two years by drinking a masking agent that fools scientists on urine tests , and forgot to take this masking supplement this year before this year's round of drug tests(How can the Dolphins be suprised this guy smokes pot? Not only is he friends with Lenny Kravitz, he's got dreadlocks and admires the life of Bob Marley. Have they ever watched this guy at the lunch line?). Masking agent that he used to fool the NFL (and ever since his retirement, has given tons of free publicity to)? 'Urine Luck.' That has to be one of the greatest names for a product, ever! |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 27,July,2004 | So, Miami Dolphin running back urlLink Ricky Williams is retired ; I say..............good for him! I totally support him quitting a life of football just so he can spend this fall/winter in the Fuji Islands smoking pot out of his bong. Especially since the fact that he was the best player on a team that plays MY favorite team (Pats), twice a year. Although the timing is suspect, I again thank Ricky for waiting until Antwoin Smith AND Eddie George were signed on to other teams before he called it quits. Maybe he is a closeted Pats fan, who knew? The Red Sox need an outfielder since urlLink Nixon will most likely be out for a loooooong time . I love Gabe Kapler, he's a good spot guy off the bench with great athletism and of course one hell of a right hand, but you you need someone who is more consistent with his bat, and has been in the playoff spotlight before, even though Kapler's hot right now. I recommend either urlLink this guy or ESPECIALLY urlLink this guy . If FiInley goes to NY, that could mean Johnson is going right with him. The DNC is here in Boston this week. My dad, who's a Republican cop that's working 24/6.5 (other .5 for sleep) shifts, commented on the chopper noise he's been hearing on his details: 'I hope John Kerry doesn't have any flashbacks about Charlie!' |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 26,July,2004 | First of all, what a turn-a-round weekend for the Red Sox! They lose Friday night's game in a fashion that they ALWAYS do: Take the lead early, relenquish it via errors and a bad starting pitching performance by Schilling, then fight back to tie the game in the 8th just to lose it in the 9th under the cut fastball of Mariano Rivera. This scenario has been happening for about 7 straight years. Then something happened. Something I've never seen before. Down 3-0 in Saturday's tilt, Bronson Arroyo (who's pitched better than his record and has more runs unearned than a tourist at a shitty* Mexican hotel) decides to hit Alex Rodriguez in the back with a change-up (which, if you usually want to hit somebody, you do it with a fastball). *pun INtended A-Rod tells Arroyo to go, 'fuck himself' (Thanks to Tivo for the mountless times I've watched this fight this weekend). Varitek, the catcher, tells him to, 'shut the fuck up'. A-Rod responds with about 11 'fuck you!''s, and Varitek goes after A-Rod with a bitch slap, and then we got ourselves a brawl! Varitek takes A-Rod to the ground like he's his 11 year old brother, followed by Gabe Kapler absolutely bubbles up Tanyon Sturtze, (who was stupid in being the starting pitcher, going after the most atheltically fit guy on the team) who's now bleeding profusely like he's just gotten himself into a steel cage with Terry Funk. He has to leave the game, and in the process we knock A-Rod out of the game as well with an ejection...... SO, we win the fight........ NOW to win the game, which it looked like they wouldn't. After fighting back to take a 4-3 lead in the 5th, the Sox proceeded to walk about every Yankee hitter in the lineup and then fall down to the tune of 9-4 in the bottom of the inning. But, this team, for the first time all year, shows some fight! Some spark! They come back to get the game close at 9-8 (followed by Nomar striking out, as usual). The Yankees get a homerun at the bottom of the inning and it goes to 10-8 into the bottom of the ninth. Then, for the first time in a while, the Sox come back like they did last year. Nomar and Millar each get a hit (a rarity in the same inning), followed by a Bill Mueller walk-off homerun off Rivera in the 9th to take the 11-10 victory! We win the fight AND the game. That's huge in for a momentum stand point. The Bruins did this 2 years ago, where they beat the shit out of Ottawa (at the time in 1st) on the ice and with their fist, then rolled off 10 straight wins. This is the type of game that CAN change things......if the Sox don't fuck it up. It was really one of the more enetertaining regular season games, ever, in my history of watching sports. And it was a huge win for a team that needed it. Now they must continue to keep winning through this 12 game road trip to convince me, and the rest of Red Sox nation, NOT to open up the Thursday paper just for the Patriots articles. Speaking off, good article here on the subject: urlLink http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/articles/2004/07/26/sports_crazy |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 21,July,2004 | 'The Hit Dog', a.k.a former Red Sox 1B and SUV accident tester Mo Vaughn is now in a lawsuit with former teammate and current Red Sox shortstop Nomar Garciaparra over a confidential internet mailing list that that was alledgedly stolen by Vaughn's former agent which was used to solicit clients for Nomar's hitting clinic. (Story here: urlLink http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/articles/2004/07/21/the_hit_dog_harmony_ends_in_court_filing ). Apparently, everytime someone would open up the Nomar emails, they would get a huge amount of pop-ups. |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 19,July,2004 | Rave : Gabe Kapler filling in for a 'hobbled' Manny Ramirez during the last few games versus Anaheim. I've always liked Gabe for the athletism and occasional hot bat he brings to the team. He's the type of guy the Sox usually don't have; they alwaysd go for the 'slow yet has homerun power' guys like Burks and Millar. Let's hope he continues his good play in Seattle. Rant : Manny Ramirez's Hamstring. Is it bothering him? Is it a hoax? He is a robot like Dick Cheney? I really don't care, I just want the guy heathly enough for the Yankee series. He's so valuable, yet he at times can be SO frustrating with his often puzzled behavior. Francoma ain't helping the situation. The type of guy Freud would have a ball with. Rant N' Rave : David Ortiz. WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING! His good play over the weekend too just demonstrates how much the Red Sox need him, and why it was so unnessicary to throw 2 bats at umpires on the field after being ejected during Friday's 4-2 win. I'll say he will get a 5-7 game suspension.......but the appeal will last long enough that he will make at least 2 out of the 3 Yankee series this weekend. Rant : Pedro, you're a funny guy. We love how you clown around in the dugout during wins. But during a blowout loss? Dude, you just need to chill and be a bit more professional. Or take some Ritalin. Rave: A split in Anaheim over the Angels, very key. The Angels will come on during the enxt few weeks, so it was important the Sox came out even. They SHOULD take 2 games in Seattle this week, even without Manny. Seattle SUCKS. Rant : Why haven't the Sox put in a claim on John Olerud yet? I like Dave McCarty, but Olerud is an excellent 1B who hits for average and is a seasoned veteran. He has had a subpar season with Seattle only because that team is older that the Bible. He might go under retirement, but still - the Sox need a guy like him on the team for the stretch run. Rave : I don't know about you, but I would do a Shoppach, Alvarez, & Nixon deal for Houston's Carlos Beltran ANY second. Love ya, Trot, but Carlos Beltran is a young star, and you're will always be an above average player who, in my mind, is damaged goods at this point. |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 14,July,2004 | Great job by David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez reppin' the Sox last night with 2 2 run HRs a piece in the AL's 9-4 romp over the NL. A lot of people say they should of been co-MVPs, but Alfonso Soriano's 3 run shot really set a tone and put the game out of reach. Plus, it was a HUGE blast over the rightfield wall in Houston. I am so glad that guy doesn't play for the Yankees anymore......he's actually developed patience over the plate, which is scary. Bud Selig wants the 'The winning league gets the home field in the World Series' thing renewed. Of course he does, because he's stupid. Not only does it devalue a win/loss record for the regular season, it also pins a square advantage to someone in a championship series via an EXHIBITION game! That's like giving someone the White House just because he only won the state of Florida........ Going into Stage 10 today, Lance Armstrong is in real danger of losing the Tour de France for the first time in 5 years. I've always found it ironic that in France's biggest race (a country known for surrendering and pissing on people), the leader and winner of the race gets a yellow shirt. I don't know why everyone outside of the USA is in a tussle over Lance's alleged doping. The guy had testicular cancer! I think he's allowed to take steroids after getting a nut cut off! If there's ANYTHING that critics should go after, it should be the fact that Lance has a huge speed advantage by being 2-3 lbs lighter for only having that one nut. The critics sure dropped the ball on that one (ok, I'll stop)....... I hope Randy Johnson does come to the Red Sox, not only to help them win a World Series, but maybe he can put a huge dent into this over population of pidgeons we have in this city. We used to have a big rat problem around here, but it got taken care of because those rats evoled and grew wings. When you see 4 albino pidgeons having breakfast at *2* different Dunkin Donuts', they're fucking too much. Pidgeons are the one of the many reason's the NRA could be a fun club to be in. It would be like duck hunt, except the dog would be replaced with a cat.......armed with lasers. Big series coming up in Anaheim this week. And they need to win more than we do so they can look more attractive to the 'Big Unit'. Speaking of being attractive to units, a sex video shot by a former husband of Baywatch blonde beauty Gena Lee Nolin (warning! not work friendly! http://www.anothersite.co.uk/gena-lee-nolin.htm ) is out. I was very impressed because it's her best acting performance she's had since.........wait, she could never act in the first place. But she sure can play it up for the camera! Now THERE'S talent! Gena.....Hey now, you're an All Star! |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 12,July,2004 | Well, it's baseball's all star break, and we're 86 games through the season. The Sox stand at a decent 48-38 clip, a game ahead of the wild card over Oakland and 7 games behind the Yankees, who I still think arn't that good. Who would have guessed that the Sox AND Cubs would be 7 games behind in their perspective divisions? These teams have so much talent before the season, that's like saying that Jimmy Fallon AND Nicole Richie will get Oscars by the end of the decade. I was at the game yesterday, still pretty bummed how they lost. Those umpires SUCKED, they had a major case of, 'We want to go home-itis'. At least my DAG % (Drunkness At Games percentage) is still at 1.000. Jesus HAS reincarnated himself as Johnny Damon (for now). I mean, look at the similaries! The hair, the closeness of the initals (JC, JD), and the many miracle plays over the past 8 games. Now if he can only turn the warm Bud Light drafts at games into GOOD beer....... Roger Clemens to the Red Sox, right? Sounds good and look good right? *SMACK*! It's never going to happen...... Randy Johnson MIGHT still go to NY.......but odds are he'll go to Anaheim (if they play well in the next 12 games). The Red Sox in my baseball season on EA's MVP BASEBALL 2004 are 60-26. I'm the man, and so is Nomar, who in my season, is hitting .354 with 34 HRs and 70 RBI with a .400 OBP. Barry Bonds is hitting .415! NCAA Football 2005 comes out July 15th. Madden 2005 comes out 2 weeks later. Two MORE reasons why I don't need a girlfriend........ Sitting in the bleachers yesterday drunk off my ass looking at cute girls in skimpy Red Sox clothing the ONLY reason to have a girlfriend...... Shaq to the Heat? That's OK, ain't like the Celtics are going to win the division for the next 10 years, anyways. A show at the Cantab Lounge today on 738 Mass Ave near Central Sq on the Red Line. It's a sports show, check it out. More info: http://www.dvdemons.com |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 05,July,2004 | Hey folks, sorry I haven't been posting for a while, but it's been a busy week for me with the July 4th holiday, a great end to the fiscal year at my job (which came with a nice bonus at around 4 figures), fishing in Falmouth, playing poker, and of course, the drunken 6 day therapy binge I have gone through with the Red Sox over the last week. I haven't wrote anything basically because I was physically zapped by watching all 6 of these last games versus Atlanta and New York. If it wasn't for Curt Schilling, I would probably done a Charles Stewart and jumped into the Charles River right now. That's how frustrating it is, and it's only the beginning of July. As many in the nation (including the Reverend Tim about to hang himself) have witnessed over this past horrible week, one has to conclude and ask: Do the Red Sox actually have a chance to be, agasp, competitve this year? They're now 3 games over the Devil Rays (I can't believe I just wrote that) and pretty much heading into a (they have to at least win 4 out of the next 6) big homestand versus AL West and Wild Card contenders Texas and Oakland. They are currently 9 games behind the NY Yankees, and unless a collapse by NY happens in the last 81 games (which could happen, as bad as the Sox are playing now, NY has serious issues with it's starting pitching and just got over a sweep by the rival NY Mets), the Sox will have to be thinking Wild Card....again. wITH THE STRUGGLES AND STEADY DECLINE, HOWEVER, ONE NOW HAS TO CONSIDER - DO WE BECOME SELLERS AT THE TRADING DEALINE? a) Nomar sitting on the bench during the 13 inning debacle still gives me fits (and for once, you could argue that Nomar should have stuck it out for at least one inning so Crespo should have been in the game over Millar in rightfield, so that Cairo ball doesn't turn into a double). Nomar is also not the .330/30/110 guy he used to be. And he's a free agent who's already rejected a 4 YEAR 60 MILLION dollar deal (wha?). He's going to the Dogdgers....so why not get Cesar Izturis and Odalis Perez in return? b) Derek Lowe pretty much psyched himself out of any type of talent since rejecting his 3 year, 27 million dollar deal and putting tons of pressure on himself to pitch well in his contract year. Oh well, Derek; have fun going out in the free market: 'Will Walk for Free Food'. Too bad he's pitching so bad they are talking about putting him BACK in the bullpen. He needs a psychiatrist like I need to get laid. c) And Kevin Millar, who suprises me every time he's on the field, because his career died about a year ago after hitting .220 in the last half of 2003. He just dyed his hair blond too. Hey Kevin....BOY BAND UP! Plus, why is HE the KFC spokeperson? He sucks! People will REJECT KFC now that he's promoting it. I think Pokey Reese would be a much better choice. SO, if this team doesn't get on a streak, and soon, these guys will be the first to go. And I think a deal should be made reguardless because this team needs a change. It's too comfortable. And too poisitive, thanks to 'I won't sacrifice' Zen Master and Moby look-alike Terry Francona. Thanks to the Moneyball/Murphy's law 'defensive errors happen' theory, the Red Sox now make more errors than the Bush Administration. Terry's a nice guy, but he's not a good manager. Aargh!!!! I told everyone they should have hired Bobby Valentine! They're are some good things about this year that make you still have hope. There are the Sox All Stars in Schilling, Ortiz, and Manny. And Pedro has been real optimistic in his quotes over the last few days. When things usually went this bad in the past, he usually uses the 'my 5th grandmother got sick' excuse and goes into seclusion into the Dominican Republic for 7 days. And they are always the Patriots. One movie that made me feel good about all of this that I saw today was, 'Major League'. You take away a few things from the movie: like the fact that Cleveland sucks, Charlie Sheen is a great method pitcher, the mystery of Corbin Bernsen's career, and that Pedro Serrano, despite hot being able to hit a curveball and worshipping the peagan god, Jobu, will still eventually become the President of the United States someday. The main goal of the movie, though, is that it basically reminds fans that if you keep the faith, you'll eventually get a winner. I say to Sox fans, just look at the bright side in that they are still 81 games left this year, and thank god for the Wild Card and 4th place! As Jack Byrne says in the movie, 'We're somehow still in this thing'. |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 11,August,2004 | Here are some news and notes in the world o' sports: Out of Red Sox injury report : Reports urlLink have claimed that reliever Scott Williamson's right forearm has swelled to twice the size of a normal forearm. Why is this a problem? After all, it never seemed to keep Popeye out of the bullpen; just give him less spinach, he'll be fine. Notes from last night : urlLink Tampa Bay left fielder Robert Fick's last name means 'fuck' in German. That gives him the most obscene name in the majors since the retirement of urlLink Rusty Kuntz (not making this up) . Soccer : The French National Soccer team has recently named Richard Fucka to their Olympic squad. Dick Fucka will be a key role player off the bench, as he will provide distraction in laughter from the other team everytime he turns his back. Football News : Since retiring because he failed a pot test, Ricky Williams is now in the process of chasing a film career. Since he, and follow running back and Raven's star Jamal Lewis (who's on trial for laundering money and cocaine trafficking) will have plenty of time on their hands, they are now in the process of filming the comedy, 'Ricky and Jamal Go to White Castle'. If Jamal can get to the set, expect to see this movie in about 20 years to life. Basketball : Former Los Angeles Laker Rick Fox is divorcing wife Vanessa Williams (Vanessa Williams!), citing irreconicible differences and potential infidelity by Fox. Apparently, Vanessa (Vanessa Williams!) is not quite good enough for his L.A. acting lifestyle. (Vanessa fucking Williams!) Too bad he's heading back to Boston in a trade that happened last week. Remember Boston, Rick? I live here now; good luck finding L.A.-quality hotties. You'll still get laid for who you are, because most Boston women are tools, but you won't find any L.A. quality hotties. Basketball : Rick Fox has now reitred at the age of 35 after comedian Sean Caulfield reminded him of how much Boston is a sausage fest and why the female dating pool here mostly sucks. Sports business : urlLink Madden NFL 2005 for all videogame entertainment systems comes out today in select locations. On a personal level, I am psyched because I had Terrell Owens and Corey Dillon traded to their new teams in the 2004 Madden franchises before they actually were. By the way, I haven't had a girlfriend in over 4 years. See bitterness above. Olympics : Yeah, I couldn't make any jokes about it, either. Girls are hot, though. |
3,644,456 | male | 23 | indUnk | Taurus | 02,August,2004 | So Nomar is gone as we all know, and I say, good for him, and good for the Red Sox. He wasn't going to stay, and he was acting like a bitch the last few weeks because he wasn't getting any attention, and he wanted to be healthy for free agency. 'I called him in his hotel room just to wish him luck and thank him for all he did for the franchise,' Sox CEO Larry Lucchino said last night. 'Then I asked him, 'How's the heel?' He said, 'It's great.'' '(I said,) 'Great? How can it be great? Two days ago, you thought you were going to have to go on the DL.' He said, 'Yeah, well, it's great now.'' Sox sources even alleged that Garciaparra said that he wanted to make sure he was healthy at the end of the season, when he would have to take a November physical as part of the free agent process. The Sox (and new ownership) weren't going to resign him, and were offended when he rejected a 4yr/15m dollar contract last year. So, pressured to make a deal, Theo though we might as well get some players out of this before he leaves for free (Cabrera isn't a bad player, and that play last night wasn't his fault - that's Terry's for not telling him the correct relay position. It's ALSO terry's fault that Pedro wasn;t in the game in the 8th inning.) Nomar was being a cancer in the clubhouse, despite the fact the guy DOES play as hard as he can while in there (and produces with stats). But the other players were tired with the, 'woe is me' bullshit, and Nomar was tired of the daily soap opera that is Boston Red Sox Nation. The problem with Nomar, as we are now finding out, is intangibles. You never know what to get with Nomar (see: sitting out 13 inning games versus Yankees this year), even though statistically (and even physical talent wise) he has the greater past. Remember when Sox and Yankee fans used to debate whether Jeter or Nomar was better? Well, the debate is similar to 'Who's career will be better? Michael Jackson and Prince?' Michael Jackson, early in his career, was a young and hot talent. A young prospect with great dancing talent from the Jackson 5, he came out solo and was winning awards. He carried on his family's tradition. He was the face of pop music, making millions.............. All in while Prince just kept the consistency turning out hit after hit, being original and gaining a fan base, making a movie, and maybe not outselling Jackson, but doing enough to be a force. He was making money and being a big player in music. Then, MJ fell off the face of the earth when he became a white pedo pop queen; while Prince became a Jehovah's witness and STILL continues to make good, solid albums that quietly get the job done on the charts. He OUTLASTED him. As Chris Rock said, 'In the end.....dat nigga Prince won!' Quietly, with a little flair, and consistency.......that's Derek Jeter. Just like Prince, you know he's going to come around again and again and never disappoint, especially in the clutch. He was never GREAT in terms of stats (or album sales or in dancing talent when comparing Prince to MJ) but you know what you're getting with him: a true leader and gamer who'll play every game with blood and sweat all while batting .310 with 15-20 HR and 80-90 RBI, and a .400+ OBP with over 100 runs scored; and of course......banging hotter chicks (which is true in BOTH cases). Nomar? Once a much better player in the field and on the plate, his numbers have decreased over the years. He can't play everyday (Orlando Cabrera, can) . His defense isn't what it used to be. His heel, ankle, and wrist are a concern. A 2 time batting champ and once hitting .325 with 30/100+, now he's about as good as Jose Valentin with a little better batting average. Oh, and his OBP STINKS (partly due to his philosophy at the plate, but every time Nomar popped up I wanted to kick MYSELF in the nuts). I think that's why we had to give the Cubs an extra prospect.....because THEY knew what the risks where in getting this guy. He's a head case (just look at him in the plate). He was the most paranoid player in Boston sports history; the media gave him good press, and the fans (esp. kids) loved him, and he still thought everyone was out to get him as if he was Alex Jones at a Republican dinner. Like Drew Bledsoe, it was time to go. Time will tell if Nomar will take a page ad in both the Herald and Globe to at the least, thank the fans of Boston who loved him and remembered the GREAT times (1997-2000), even when frustrated (this one included). He needed a change, and so did we. We gave up a great shortstop, but we got depth, defense, and some intangibles back (Doug Mient....whatever his name is a good friend of David Ortiz, and is a leader.) Only time will tell in wins and losses (and where Nomar goes next) whether how things will play out. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | I have learned never to expect anything from people. They always dissapoint. Especially, I never expect anything from myself. I never accomplish when there is stress. I hate people who have expactations for me, they want so much, from so little. I'm not much of an amount for anything. I can't even accomplish the task of finding myself, let alone any thing else. Everytime I put expactations into someone I am always more than let down. People have never fulfilled anything and I dont think they ever will, when ever I think I might have found that something in that person, and I am hoping that they can live up to me, they let me down. I think they have done that so much, I can't cry anymore. I am used to the fact that people dont care enough to let me feel ok that they have let me down, they just use me and that's it. I think I have only found one person that hasnt let me down yet, and I havent talked to him enough to really see what would happen. I cant seem to find myself. I better go. Pressure calls. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Today was the first day of marching band. It was, to say the least, ok..I wish I could have slept in more, but we all cant have what we want. I need to talk to *mention random name here* I've been thinking about something...need to talk to him.. but, non the less im getting back into the swing off stuff, so I can ease back into the school year. Although it will be weird since it's the high school and all. But I'll just hang out with some people, maybe get a boi, and have fun this year. I haventha fun in such a long time. It i'll be nice to let my hair down, (both figurativly and literally). I have my friends, and Im gonna stick to them. I dont care what anybody says. They have no more the authority over me than I have over them i dont really much care if there older than me, because I just dont care. I have a solid group, and thats all I need. There supportive of me. Im gonna go. It's getting late. I'll write tomarrow. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | A side note: I need a episode of Brendan Leonard. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | This summer has been truley boring. I have been completley anti-social..and I think that I need that. I dont need people interfereing with there problems I have enough of my own. Then again..Since I havent really talked to anyone this summer, I have absolulty no clue what is going on in the 'social realm' nor do I care. Marching band starts up again in 8 short days. Which will completley throw off my sleeping sense. I will have to get up at 8:00 in teh morning, and right now I am only getting up around 11:00 in the morning, and not going to bed until atleast 2:30-3:30 in the morning. I'm goingto be a complete wreck the first few days. I havent came to any new conclusions recently. I havent anything to conclude. I have been completly honest with myself all this summer, and I have found what I was looking for. For once I have accomplished what I set for myslelf..even with time to spare. I hope everyone else has too.. because I know what it's like if you dont. I really dont want to go into the high school..It seems like such a big step. Plus, I have gotten so used to going to the middle school that I really dont want to leave. But I guess it's a change I have to make, although its one I dont want to come to a conclusion about but I guess i have to. Dont worry.. I'll write later. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | I realized something while I was reading over my post's..I actually depend on people. While I was upset with *insert unmentioned person here*, for stupid reasons now that I look back on it..I was truley afraid, that if I lost our friendship, then who would that leave me to tell all my problems to, and to give me a hug when I need it. Nobody else really acts like that towards me. I mean yeah, i have a few other friends..but they would judge me. I guess he's just one of the people I need in my life. I was shocked when i thought about it..I thought i was this 'Miss Independant' (no pun intended) but I really am not. Im glad I realized it though, because maybe now I wont take the best thins in life for granted anymore. I really need another episode of Brendan Leonard. . . Well. I better get outa here..Oh, yeah..i changed my name to rotang because it sounds so much cooler..someone save me* |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | 'I will not die for your government or saffer religion, I choose life' - Brandon Boyd I hate the fact people try to force your beliefs on you. The whole time as a child and a teenager, your supposed to be finding your self, but what if you can't even see who you are. All my child hood I was never forced into religion by my parents, we never attended church and I had never saw a bible. My grandparents on the other hand, sent me a bible in the mail for me to read. I thought it was a pretty good story. That's all it was to me was a story. Then I was shunned from the people at school, because in 5th grade, the only thing you really know about your self is what you belive in. All I knew was that I had nothing to believe. In 7th grade, I had made a choice to myself that i would study diffrent types of religion, to make sure I was affirmend in my agnostic ways. At the same time there was need of participants in the local youth org. i went for 7 or 8 months. Comming to the soild conclusion I am agnostic. I had to go threw all of that just to reach a conclusion that I am havingto defend from people who were forced into it and had no choice! I think it's bullshit that these people can go around and say shit about my religion when they dont even have a clear mind of thir own. I am so pissed off about it....im gonna go clear my head...I get so worked up over this...someone save me.. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Geek urlLink What's Your Personality Type? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla enough said. I feel good to know what I am.. Geek Pride! |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | 'Moral: The pathetic thing that just gets in the way of everything.' Why people dwell on weather or not you have the 'Idealistic' morals or not...but whats the big deal. Morals are something that should be so deeply engrained into your skull that you dont even think about them. And this is only if you have any in the first place. I think our morals are just, as my father says, 'A product of your enviroment' you learn them from the people who are around you. You are never taught them. This summer is letting me think too much. I need another episode of Brendan Leonard. Its horrible how much people depend on other people. They act like if someone wasnt there ALL the damn time, they might go off the edge or something. I am fine by myself. Maybe it's because I never had anyone here anyways..but I dont really think that would matter. As a basic human instinct you react for yourself...by yourself. Not have to be right there with your hand being held. I think thats something that has done almost totally away with the human race today. And thats a very sad thing. I need to go think somemore about a few controversial topics. I will write later. I still need another episode of Brendan Leonard. I have to go. People cant survive without me. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | OMG! The game was horrible. First of all, we didnt play, second of all, the guys didnt show up. Meaning I had to brave the world and go to the game myself. O that was great fun! I came to a good conclusion though. I can't stand hanging out with the girls. They have horrible personalities. All they care bout are 4 things. Talking about each other, Clothes, boys, and gay random things. I almost went spaztic on them tonight, but saekho was there..thats not saying much, but, I didnt want them saying stuff bout her, cause she hangs with me. Evne though I already know they dig on her and shit cause of it. I gotta go, ('rents.) |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | I've been in a good mood for a rather suspicious amount of time now. 9 Days. Woa. Im going to the game tonight to. Because we dont have to march this one. *SCORE* I gotta hook ciara up with her guy..That will take sometime. I have nothing to write. I have no clue whats wrong with me. I'll write after the game. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | I hate weekends. I need to be around everyone again. Even though it seems like I get fed up with everyone, and irritated so easily, it's better when I dont have to think about things. There's too much happening at home. So much drama, damn communication. I hate the way I act around people. Especially family. I still can't let them in, to really know me. I don't trust them. I couldnt change it if I wanted to tho. It's like embeded into my brian. WARNING! These are the people who 'have your back' dont let them in on anything. I hate feeling like a damn robot. I regret acting like that. Once again, I hate the weekends. Thank you. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | -Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're the kind of chick that can hang out with your boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't care about presents or about going to fancy placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy being around your boyfriend. urlLink What Kind of Girlfriend Are You? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla Interesting Eh? I thought so. No, I am not on drugs. The shades of grey have cleared my path, sunny skies to stay. I need this feeling to hold me close, to make it right. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | 'Please don't play with me, my paper heart will bleed' -AAR If I was a toy, I would think my wind-up key was missing. I honestly don't know what it is anymore. There's just so much, and because of that, I can't even focus on one thing. There's just too much. I know what I want out of life, that I can't have. I think I am an Emotionally Homeless person. Im sitting on the edge of your sidewalk, and my can is out, and that's the farthest I've gotten, because I don't even have a house to call you from. The greatest prize in life is love, but whats to do when you have no absolution of it? I couldnt belive in love. If someone paid me a million dollars, I wouldnt. 'It's a known fact, when two opposites come together, it always ends in heartache.' The sad thing is, most experiance heartache before there even together. But you couldnt tell that person, because most likley your trying to cover-up the fact you have feelings for that person. And you get upset if the person does something, or acts a certian way but they can't help it, because they have no clue as to what their doing wrong. I wish we were all dead to the emotion of love, like robots. That would just make life easier to get thru, so of coarse that would never happen. 'Cause I'd never do something intentionally just hurt you And I've stared at the sky and I've asked myself why you've become like an angel to me' ~Allister Pain isn't planned, because it's always there. Never goes away, Never show remorse. It's like a ugly scar from a long time ago. Even the best neosporin can't take this away. I know my ramblings don't leave you to much of a plot line, but it's 10:00 in the morning, and I just cant take much more of this. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | umm... Well, to everyone who reads this damn thing, for some reason or another, I'll let you in on a little secret, today was very interesting. My bandmates and I had..'rehersal' if you want to call it that. Which was very interesting. Band sucked as usual. There's no mystery to that. The only awesome thing is, we dont have a.m. rehersal, so I get to sleep in! WOAH! Tomarrow is our first football game. And we gotta go all the way to that one place..um..Conneaut, that will be very interesting. I really dont have anything to say. The usual people pissed me off, and thats about it. *COUGH COUGH* They know who they are. If they dont, their even bigger jackasses then I thought. If something happens, I'll write later, if not, I'll catch you after the game. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | the bus from hell. 'I hope that when you wake up, everything that you've ever wished for is dead in your arms.' I hate having competitions. I'm not that kind of girl. Especially when the prize is sumthing that I should of had from the start, but the other person is...and ruined it. *cough cough* No, I am not obvious. Im just always pissed. I rarely talk about my problems, as people now know. I never did before, why start now. In all reality, I know there might be a few people who actually care and want to know..The others jut go and form a pity crowd. But Ive already been thru that explanation. Our bus rides are very interesting..*COUGH COUGH* Our small group.. you know what I mean. And yet again, I am the only one who didnt get anything. Tear. But thats ok. Conneaut is in 2 days. Which means a hour and a half bus ride. I know who I'm sitting with..*smile cheesy grin* School starts in about 12 days. Thats too soon for me. I need more time to listen to my 'Fuck off because the world doesnt care on the back of the bus music.' Not really..I need someone who cares.. Later.. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Misery has company. 'Today the weight of the world was on my shoulders, my life, wasnt spared. I hoped you would come, to help me out, but I found you never really cared.' 8-20-03 I hate people who make assumptions about me. Not even half of the people I hang out with really know me. They know the shaded side of me. The front that I put up. If I really acted the way I am at home, I would probably sit in the back of the class, in the corner, thinking of so much, that it means nothing at all. People see the happy side of me, and they think im depressed, I would hate to see their reaction now. (and to everyone who has read this, or is reading it now, im not a mental case. dont even think about it..) I can't help it though, I try to talk to people. They all just seem to depend on me to hear there problems, and deal with the problems for them, but if I would try to talk to someone, they would just blow me off and start on some completly random subject. I think the problem, isn't so much a 'me' thing. Everybody else is just way to self centered, to give a damn about how I feel. And if I would be sad, or angry, it's not like I could tell anyone, because I can tell that most of it, is just out of pity. I wont stoop down to that level. On the brighter side of the rainbow.. Tonight is our first preformance, woo..(in sarcastic voice...) I really dont want to go. I just want to sleep. I mean, we march pretty good, and sound pretty good..It's just that, this means I have to see everybody, and cover my front up again. And I am not in the mood for that. I rather slip into my emo mood and sit in the dark, while playing some music, and think more about why I am like I am. But thats just me. I might go and try out for 'Romeo and Juliet.' KSU is doing a production, and they need a 14 yr. old. right up my ally. Plus I already have more than half memorized, so it wouldnt be too hard. I dread the day that school starts. UGH! I'll probably end up spazing out on someone, or freaking out, and that's never too pretty. I hope I dont. But hey, im unpredictable. After dad leaves, I think im going to go and rest. I need some sleep. I need to think and relax. This day sucks. I'll write tonight when I get home. Someone save me. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Things are known. Everyone is catching on to me. I have people, left, and right asking me about it. I didnt know I was like a book. I dont think im so confused now. I kinda thought things thru a little bit last night, and today. Now it's just a race against time. I can't believe her. Being so selfish like that. I should have knew it would end up this way. She'll try and beat me to the punch, I know it. So, now, I am forced into making a decision I really dont want to make. About being inqusitive or not. (you get the point.) The thing is, I dont want this to turn out like another version of No Doubt. That would just suck. I know 'other people' dont want me to, for the sake of us all, but my feelings are telling me diffrent. But sometimes there blind. I dont want to just let this sit back and take it's coarse. I am afriad of the outcome. I need to go and stratagise. Before it's too late, and the whole situation becomes 'The one that got away' |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Today was a torment, of my own hell. I havent been this confused, for over a year now. and just when I think that things are beginning to look up for me..BAM! things just hit me like a train, and I dont know what to do.. I cant just tell people my confusion, first of all, they most likley dont care and just want some dirt to burn me with later, and if they do care, they have no clue of what to say, or do to help me, which to me is absolutly pointless. So I have to sit here completly alone, and try and console myself through this, before someone makes a move. I dont want anyone to make a move..I dont want to have to regret any of my actions. I dont want to be forced into a decision I dont think I can full heartily make. Especially because I know how it feels and I dont want to be the reason for another broken heart. I dont think I could put either one of them through that. Plus there best Friends. Now, how am I supposed to deal with that. If I would do anything with one, they would probably just turn around and go tell the other, and vice versa. And I know that that feels like an extreme kick to the chest. I wish that this would all go away. I even felt like going away to some far off place and putting thisall behind me, that way they would both come out even. Because neither one of them is better than the other. I cant keep this all in my head though..I might just go completly insane and up a wall if I would. And for fear of someone involved in this, reading this, and getting more info then what I need for them to have, I cant write anything that they can take out of context. So to save myself from more of a head ache, and more pain..Im going to stop here..and if I can I'll write later. pain is inevitalbe, misery is optional...enjoy the ride. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Well, band camp was last week. As I like to call it, Hell Week. School is in 16 days, and counting. I really dont want to go. It'll be cool to be with all the guys again and stuff, but I dont want to deal with the other people. That IS going to suck. I am really really really confused again..Thats half the reason I spazed out at band camp. I havent told anybody why yet..and I dont think Im going to. It's not the kinda thing I can just come out and tell people. Plus, it was more than just what was going thru my head. It was people pissing me off, and not caring about it. I really hope no body finds that hole in the wall that I punched... The horrible thing is, I cant even tell the guys what happened, because that would put them in such a awkward postion, and there too good of friends to do that too. One a brighter note.. I learned tat I can unwrap a starburst in my mouth and a piece of Orbit gum. Im still working on a hershey kiss, but I know Ill be able to do that too. I dont want to go back to band tomarrow. I only had 2 days off. Thats not enough! I need a week to recoupe. Im still kinda sick and tired from the food up in Edinboro. Damn Pizza. I dont want this school year to end. The sooner it does, the sooner I have to loose all my friends to the real world. That will just fucking suck. I better be going. I have to find out whats all going down tomarrow. Guys never tell me anything. Later. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Well. I guess I am not so confused...and not so sad. Which is a good thing, because Im going into my second week, and we have band camp in exactly 7 days. That really sucks. That also means school is right around the corner. And personally I dont want to technically 'go' into the high school. I just want to move into the grade ahed of me. My grade is just SO boring, conforming, and just like everyone else. Which is horrible in my point of view. LALALALALALA...LMAO!.. I gotta go because I have absolulty nothing to talk about and people I actually do talk to online, might be getting on shortly, or else I will have to be getting off very shortly! Either way it works..shortly!! |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Well, Its after the first week, and IM SO CONFUSED!!!! I like all the music were playing, it's really easy. And our band has been doing good. We kinda made our first song, called 'Huh?' it's sweet, but we kinda wrote it in about 15 mins. We need the melody and the ska breaks now. The best song, is 'Surf Wax America' by weezer. That song owns. Im horrible confused. I need still need to talk to some one.. or i might possbly go insane. I havent seen The Brendan Leonard Show in about a week or so now. I miss it.. but I have alot of...other....things to worry about. Corey better not be acting like a jerk. He only has came to 1/2 of the practices. We need to get Dan in the band. that way someone would actually be there to play. I cant wait for band camp...I really need to get a NEW BATHING SUIT!! Teh other one, is too, not there. And the guys will be there. Well I have to go.. I have to come up with dinner plans. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | You Have the Power to Turn Things to Stone! urlLink What's Your Magic Power? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla ...dude..im sweet..WOO!! Barmitzvah Time! |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | urlLink You are Yuuki Miaka You love food, boys, and hate studying. However, you are tying to make yourfamily happy by tyring your hardest to do things that are too hard. Often, when things get really tough, you depend on your friends to bail you out. You trust in others to do what is best, even when they often dissappoint you. Your greatest need is loyalty, and it is also your greatest asset. urlLink Take the 'What Magic Girl are you?' Quiz ^^Yay! I'm neat as a pile of freshly folded socks! *grin* |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Thank you for visting 2003, cuz 2004 herre I come!! This year's gonna be great. I know it. I can feel it. Good things are going to be comming. And its about damn time! Too many horrible things have happened to me this year. Too many to count on my fingers and toes. Wow, im on the phone with Sarah. Were confirming our evil plans for tonight. Which include movies, pizza, watching 4 little girls, and acting like complete morons!! YeS! Thats what we defintily do best. I must say. I wonder what the guys are doing for New Years?? Oh, well. I really dont care anymore. They dont give a fuck about me, or whats going on, so why should I care about them. I take that back. One cares. Thats it. And who that is, you know who you are. and it's defintly not the obvious. Dude, the Alice 19th manga is totally awesome! I love that one. dothack was pretty good, but I seem to like Alice 19th and Love Hina more. My Aunt, Uncle, and cousin are uptown from Columbus. Thats cool. My Aunt is awesome to hang out with. My cousin is 11 and he's at the stage where he thinks he knows everything that is going on and how to do everything. And he has no fucking clue. It's hilarious, yet agrivating at the same time. I know, I know I went thru the same thing..but I wasnt obvious about any of it. Well Im gonna skidattle, haha, I cant wait to party. Im gonna go pick something out to wear, and get a tshirt for Sarah. If anyone cares have a great NY!! |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | LMFAO!! This brightens up my day. I think you all should take this quiz. hahaha... Exhibitionist urlLink The ULTIMATE personality test brought to you by urlLink Quizilla |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | 'I feel diseased Is there no sympathy, for the sun The sky's still fire But I am safe in here, from the world outside So tell me What's the price to pay for glory' - Finch Hate. I think Hate is a strong enough word. But maybe it's not. I hate him. That's all there is to it. I can't stand to think about him, I can't stand to look at him, I can't even stand to say his name. So I'm not. He acts like he's my best friend, he acts like he doesnt know me. His a double-eged sword, and I sometimes wish that I never became friends...with him. But enough with that. I need some movie ideas. I gots my camcorder for xmas this year, and all the editing equipment to go along. I need to write scripts, and have willing-non-paid actors to come and be in my movies. I get to go back to school on Monday. Not today. Next monday. Oh, joy. (sarcasim) I really dont want to go back, because that means I have to see certain people. But on the other hand I will get to see the gorgeous Jon, (see previous entry.) *smile.* 'There I am standing all alone on the Sydney Harbor Brige. And you know I would jump into the fucking ocean if it meant I was truly capable of being satisfyed. Will I ever be? Did I just give up the best thing I ever had?' The Ataris. My head hurts, my stomach hurts, and Im getting hungry. You might think this all seems like it's too much. Because it is. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Now I find out how much people really care. I've noticed that when you have to see a person repedtly, it's hard to get away from that person. It's like your addicted to them. But when your givin an oppertunity to 'escape' from them for a while, people eat it right up! Finchaholic. Atariholic. Incuaholic. I'm a very 'holic' person. I absoultly love the song 'What it's like to burn,' by Finch. It's amazing. The construction, Lyrics, Emotion, it's all amazing. I think I've been listing to it for 2 days straight. I've also been consumed by 'Megalomanic' from Incubus. It's off of their new CD thats not out yet. Also, its like there old stuff, like a mix of Science, and Make Yourself. I hope theres no snow on the ground for xmas. That way everyone is upset and it creates major chaos. Haha. What I wouldnt give to be able to make something go wrong. I feel bad for the Fall From Betweeners. They didnt win battle of the bands last night at peabodys. I think their egos are damaged a little. Im still planning on seeing them for New Years Eve. I want to get a picture with the group and with the almighty Jon. He's a gorgeous man. It's one of the situations, where you can look but you cant touch, not only because he's taken, but because he wouldnt spend a second of his time with the likes of me. Belive me, I do look. Oh well. Im on my search for something, even though the lack for motivation, isnt any help. I guess eventually someone will show up for me. Eventually isnt soon enough. I wish I had the power to take everything back, the right and the wrong decisions that Ive made, and make it all diffrent. I dunno. I want to move and become unknown. Im gonna go. Gotta go wrapup the fucking holidae shopping. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | 'Think of today as a much-deserved day of rest, dear Libra. You are usually the one people turn to when they need comfort and consolation. Today, however, in spite of the tension that's in the air, your words seem to have no effect. Good! Let other people take care of themselves for a change.' Words need no guidence. Actions do. So misconcepted. People never get what im trying to get across. They take it out of context and blow it out of proportion. I can't make a friendly gesture, with out someone taking it wrong. Where's Brendan Leonard? ---> This was my favorite show over the summer, and it's gone! I havent seen it in months. Maybe someone thefted ABCfamily of the tapes. I think I need to place a call to the russian mafia. Wow. It's 11:57, as I type. That means only 2 days until I can open up my x-mas presents. (Note: At the household, we open gifts on x-mas eve. Just for the simple fact were too lazy to wake up early on x-mas day, and I dont feel like waiting that long.) No one showed up today. I tried calling but his line was busy. I think he doesnt want anything to do with me anymore. It's awefully funny (sarcasim) how they ditched us Friday, and how we havent gone anyplace just the normal 3 of us in a few weeks. I have a feeling something's up. Not like I could approch him about it though. Oh yeah I could see it now. Me: How come we never do anything anymore? Him: What do you mean? Me: Well we used to go places, walk alot and talk on the phone. We dont do any of that anymore. Him: Meh, dunno. Why do you care so much? Me: Because I still like you alot. Even though you used me, and ect..yeah. Him: WAAAH!?!? ---That would go over oh-so-smoothly. I need to move on to somebody else. Somebody better, who shows more respect, and who dosent want me to be something im not. But I have no clue who that is. Oh, well I guess Im not the like-able type because no one likes me like that. I made cookies today. Peanut Butter ones. The 'rents liked them. But I got sick both times after eating them. I think im allergic to Peanut Butter. That would suck. Oh, deary me. It's 12:08. and I gots some stuff to get yet. If I can I will write later. If not then I will tomarrow sometime. *Someone Save me.* |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Bright morning. Dim mind. I hate getting up this early on weekends. It's 9:31, and for all of you without an Ohio residence its bright, cold, and windy outside. Not too pleasent. It is amazing to think that only 5 months ago I was laying around with friends complaining about being too hot, and thinking that I was going to die of heat damage. But I guess that just goes on to prove that time is going by so quickly we dont fully have a concept of it. I think everyones comming over today. It'll be entertaining. I hate Christmas. I hate the corny, over the top, extent that people go thru to make it 'special' yeah, it's special enough to puke over. If I was in charge of a household, I probably wouldnt even decorate. I see no sense in putting out all of this stuff, like statues, trees, tinsel, ect.. for a month out of the year, and then packing it all up so you can put yourself thru it again next year. I also hate the family get-to-gethers. Actually, I just hate family. They make to big of a deal about 'how I've turned out.' I think I turned out just fine thank you. I dont steal, I dont do drugs, I do really good in school, and I have alot of good friends. In my book that makes a pretty good person. Im still sick if anybody was wondering. If anyone cares. I dont think anybody cares about me. They care about using me. They care about having someone to take their anger out on, or to get money off of. But once again, Im almost to the point where I absolutly dont care anymore...Im gonna go think about some stuff. I'll write later. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Disorder Rating urlLink Paranoid : Moderate urlLink Schizoid : Moderate urlLink Schizotypal : High urlLink Antisocial : High urlLink Borderline : Very High urlLink Histrionic : High urlLink Narcissistic : Moderate urlLink Avoidant : High urlLink Dependent : High urlLink Obsessive-Compulsive : High -- urlLink Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- Oh, yeah. This makes me feel plenty better about myself. Atleast now I know something IS wrong with me! You should take the test. It's very entertaining. ~*Love and Light*~ |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | 'I just found a friend in one of your lies, to treat me so nice, I can't belive my bones.' - Ever So Sweet. The early November. That's right folks, it's Christmas Vacation. A time of Boredom, Insomnia, Fights, and tears. I can't wait! I know, I know..I do need this break. I need it to take time from everyone who's been driving me up the wall the past 5 months. I dont think I have anymore wall to go up with out reaching the ceiling. New Years Eve will be fun though. Sarah and I are going to go to the Section 8 show to go and see Fall From Between. Fall From Between hit Brookfield like a new boy band hits TRL. All of a sudden everyone was a emo indie kid! How amazing! Now, dont take this the wrong way, they are a pretty jazzy get together, but when everyone and there grandma are so emo-licious it gets kind of overrated. I want to go back to New York City. That was ah-mazing. The people, the sights, it makes me feel all stuffed up and cloggy inside! Or maybe thats because I got sick again from it. Tonsilitius, Pink Eye, Ear Infecton, oh yeah i got it all. If anyone wants to be sick and miss some school, call me. I wish I had someone I could talk to. Someone I could spill my heart out to, and they would listen. I dont have anyone like that. No one will listen to me. There too self absorbed to give a damn about me. It really makes me angry, but theres nothing I can do about it. Im not a mean person. As much as everyone tells me that I dont 'have' to be nice to people I just can't help it. And with that, people just walk all over me and use me as a welcome mat for there problems. Maybe thats what I can attempt to change over break. Im not going to be so willing to listen. Maybe then they will all get the hint. Just maybe. Oh well. It's not like I have a choice. I just dont care anymore. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | A void. Things have been moving to fast to attempt to type it all. So I guess to avoid that, I will continue from now. Situations have come and gone, but I've kept my cool and stayed the same. Bonds have broken, been fixed and broken again. But we're on a road of empires and things like that just take it's tole. Things have happened in my life these past 3 months that will mean more to me than I ever know now. Grandma dying, Break-Ups, Make-Ups and Shake ups, and I realized that some friendships are no longer there. But I guess this is just the cycle that I fell into, and not by option. I have also been trying to figure out what people dont like about me. I've asked my camarades what they think. But they havent been able to come up with anything. I know Im not a perfect sociable being. Something must be wrong. Im also in search of something. Something I honestly dont think Ill be able to find. I still have attachments to a certian person, and I have been trying to keep it a secret, but people are catching on. If they catch on to anything, its not Algebra, or Science, but who you have feelings for. I can't help it. I dont know what it is. I've tried everything. Like having feelings for someone new, thinking about all of these horible things they never even did, and such..but it doesnt work! It makes me so aggravated. Especially when you tell someone who you think you can trust, and it turns out to be someone who can't keep there mouth shut. Not mentioing any names or anything. But with all of this I've decided to use the energy for a greater good. Like studying and reading Manga. Yes, you read correctly..m-a-n-g-a. That thing also known as anime. Its awesome, Im reading Love Hina, and .Hack\\Legend of the Twilight. Well, its Harry's Love Hina, but the other one is mine. Things are definitly changing and I have no clue about what to do. Im out for now. But I'll prolly write later. ~Me. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Hey all. Life is a jewish bastard. I dont care anymore. I hope you dont either. Hope is a waste. Emotion is rough. Can you say, Ive had enough? |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Sorry Im the person I am. If I could I wouldnt be me. Too Bad. Already am. I went over to Harry's today. Then we went sledding for quiet awhile. We ran into Tom and Scott, and went sledding with them. Then we got cold and hungry and decided to head back. Then we goofed off for a while and ate some dinner. I realized what I needed to along time ago. Why am I the way I am? Why do I have to be the one stuck so depressed all the time, and why do I have to be the odd one out by the whole vegetarian scheme? If I was normal like every other ska-bunctious kid then maybe I wouldnt be such a problem. Thats all I am. A problem. While im deep in thought, im going to go listen to some Early November, and think about some stuff. Nights are too long. Hope will never come. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | well. its been a few days. but ive been busy. as always. spent the weekend with my aunt in hubbard. its cold as a mother outside. I havent been in much of a mood lately. I guess that comes from thinking too much. Loneliness is a state of mind, not a state of being. :: jaTR 3:07 :: Wow. Isnt that a true mission statement of life. I think later, like around noon, im going to place a call to the guys and see if they want to do anything. Im thinking sno-boarding. but its fucking-cold-ass outside and I dont know if I want to brave the weather. Yeah, im still sick. But i dont think they know whats wrong with me. Sometimes when I eat, well after I eat, I get really cold, and really sick to my stomach all at the same time. Then I get really dizzy, almost blacked out. I dont think thats good. but thats between me and you. Im almost done reading the first vol. of Ceres it's pretty good. then again I like alot of Yu Watatse's works. So there you go. I know this is short, but I gotta go. Im getting really sick again, because I ate a pop-tart. I'll blog later. Maybe when the guys are here. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Today wasnt any better. What a surprise. Mid-terms are over. I can have my brain back. Single sentance. Double sentance. Bored as hell. Always am. Depressed as a mother. Always that to. You might think that because im cheerful in school. Im cheerful all the time. You thought wrong. I can be deciving. Three months untill permit time, and 8 months and three days untill freedom. Forever until I get a life, and make things right. but whats new. Im gonna go, because no body cares. Well a few people might. And, that's another story kids. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Yeah I get it. Nobody fucking cares. People act like im stupid and cant see thru what their doing. But to reassure those certain folks, I can. The outside shades the depths of reality. Wow. I love this song. I've had it stuck in my head for the past week. 'It's my life,' No Doubt. I kno I kno. Kinda corny, but it has a cool guitar part, and the pedals are awesome. I want a pedal. I want a life. I want some chinese food. There you have it. Three more things. Have fun. -It used to all be fun and games, until things changed. Like Ive said. I dont like change. I dont like snow. Or the artic. I want to be a pirate. Im sick. I think. Ive had random dizzy, nausea and tiredness spells. I dont think thats a completly normal thing. I cant tell the parents. I just got over having the flu, tonsilitus, Bronchitus and almost namonia. (_ Im not a very needy person. I only want a few things. But I cant get those. I guess I either dont have any luck. Or no one gives a fuck about me. Im thinking its a combination of both. Im going to go before I depress all of you too much. I wouldnt want it to wear off. I dont care anymore. cuz nobody ever did. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Forget me. It's that simple. You say hate is such a strong word. And yet. I use it most often. Coming from an agnostic person, I hope you should take my theory to heart. As Ive seen more sorrow than you religious pukes will ever. I see the normal human being. They belive what they've been taught from the start of their time. God Created them. And things are fine..as long as you have absolution. Others, who are agnostic, were (most likley) not grown up on religion. We just know that we are here, and we can do what we want with it. And thats life. Well, sitting there the other day, I realized how sad I was, and all the while I was thinking, 'I bet the kid who prays before bed, has never been as down as this, and I bet he will never know what the end is like before it actually happens.' Then I put into my mind the prospective that if there was a lord that heals the wounded and aids the sorrow of the world, that wouldnt this be a fitting punishment for all the disbelivers? If I were god, I would think so. Im not saying the whole ordeal made me into a beliver, because it didnt. But it made me think. It's still making me think. I hate thinking. 'Its funny how I found myself, and realized how I was played upon, from your game, but its MY life, dont you forget..' |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Well I was going to update yesterday, but I didnt get online untill 12:30 a.m. and by that time, I was wayyy t tired. The guys came over yesterday, Dan, Harry, and Joe. It was fun. We tryed to figure out songs for our band..that never goes well. I think we have one song on the list, good job kids. Then we decided to act like moe-rons, and try snowboarding, even though we have no snow only mud. Then we played twister for like 3 hrs. omfg my knee hurts like a damn mofo! It's so cold outside. I hate the cold. I hate hamburgers. I hate peppers. Yeah, now what. I dont want to go back to school tomarrow. Nope I dont. I like the weekends. Sleep. Food. Music. How much more fun could it get. Besides not having to do fucking mid-term reviews that the bitchass teachers give us. The parentals are bugging me about college already. They wanna know what im gonna major in, what school I wanna go to, tuiton costs...I have no clue. I want to go somewhere in New York City, Like NYU. I want to do advertising layouts for people, like musicians. That way I get to meet awesome people, and yet I get paid good money. What more could you want? I wish I lived in Cocoa Beach. That way I could surf all the time, and be really good at it. And it would rarely ever get tooooo cooold. Oh well. Not like anyone is reading this besides you. Not like anyone cares. But oh well. I dont care anymore. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | This week has gone by really slow. But today and tomarrow should be a boat load of fun! Were all going to go get some chineese, around 4:00. All include: Dan, Harry, Pat, Bob, Jeanette, myself, and I think thats it. Then Harry, Dan, Joe are all comming over tomarrow. I think Rob is comming later. Oh well gotta go plead with mom. --Later-- Alright. It's 9:15. Serious update time. Let's rock da socks off! Well chineese was fun. Though, Pat and Jeanette didn't show. I forgot Jen was grounded and that Pat dosent do anything without his better half. Oops. So it was just me, dan, harry, and bob. O yea. Harry's gma was there too. I miss having our group together. Just the 4 of us. It hasnt been that way in a while. So, I guess things are just changing. Have I ever told you I dont like change? I dont like change. Gots a new sn. I didnt like the xsurfpunk07 thing. Kinda gay. Oh, well. Im gonna go. I gotta get an icon. Plus, I cant type 'hard' the mother is sleeping. and drama calls. Like ive said before. Ppl cant live without me. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | 'i wanna stay 18 forever so we can stay like this forever and we'll never miss a party cuz we keep them going constantly and we never have to listen to anyone about anything cuz its all been done and its all been said we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get' - - Brand New 'Soco Ameretto Lime' Jonsessive Axeulsive. It's a new disease. Catch it soon. Today was very eventfull, stressful and full of self-realization! I hate it. I dont know why I do the things I do, like keep this blog, write in a journal, talk the way I talk, dress the way I do, act the way I do. I have no clue. There's so many things about myself that I want to change, that I cant. I want to be thinner, I want to be taller, I want to be nicer. There's so many things. Belive it or not, there's so many things that you can come up with while writing a french paper. I came with a new slanguage. Oh well. I'll write it later. My head hurts. I dont feel good. And Im the biggest nerd you ever knew. But as McCabe said. Im a princess. But thats Princess Taltua to you! |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | I got mad love for Pippen. That movie was ah-mazing. I don't think anyone could really expect a better production themselves..except maybe Tolkin himself. Well, today was the first day back to school. After a very long two weeks. Things, were in better condition than I expected them to be. Harry talked to me like nothing was wrong. I was completly shocked. I thought he hated me. I bet Rachel said something. She always does. I think i'm gonna buy a few packages of twizzlers, just to attack Bob with. And yes, I still have welts on my arms. I bet Dan does too. Wow, Corey came back. It's been forever and 3ft since I've seen him. I swear to you he has grown like 3ft. Hes almost as tall as me! Thats really ah-mazing. I don't want to go back to school tomarrow. I think I'm getting sick again. I just got over being sick!! I have a theory that I need my tonsils removed. I dont want to have my tonsils removed. That scares me. . . wow. something scares me. Theres a certan extent that you can talk to a family member, without them becoming extremly annoying, or to a pont that they know way to much about you to ignore them. because that folks is were a little thing called BlackMail comes in. And thats NOT COOL. I need to find the Alice 19th mangas. Waldens didnt have them, but they did have .hack\\ and I'm reading that, but I like Alice 19th better. So many social issues. So much drama. But what else is High School about? The worlds resting on my shoulders, and no ones here to help. urlLink You are Kusakabe Marron | Kaito Jeanne You are generous and talented, though often widthdrawn. You tend to have just a few close friends, rather than many. You appear very cheerful and enthusiastic, but struggle to keep up with what others expect of you. In the end, your perseverance and sacrifices help you pull through. urlLink Take the 'What Magic Girl are you?' Quiz |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Alright. Don't scurry, this wont take long. I dont think I need away messages. Everytime I put up and away message, something important is asked, or happened. And by the time I check those messages, they're signed off. WTF! Yesterday, Bob wanted to get some people together and go to the movies. I have been wanting to do that for SOO long! But because my away was up, I didnt get the message, and he signed off. That fucking sucks. Then, what happens, is if I dont put up my away message, then no one will message me and I am stuck browsing the net untill I have seen everything. And people told me that it was impossible! Umph! I watched a movie yesterday. Called 'The St. Francisville Experiment.' It was actually really kinda cool, untill the last 10 mins. when things got totally unbelieveable. Like a ghost cutting this fucking annoying psychic up, and she just stood there like a moron, screaming, covered in blood. Or, Tim. My, my, my. I was disapointed in Tim. He was so awesome, and became my favorite, and he had the cheesiest ending. The Blair Witch kind of thing. Ryan (a girl) was really lame too. She was the most terrifyed, and also had one of the cheesiest endings. Her table started shaking, and she fell thru the floor. They all ended up in some tourcher chamber that was secretly hidden thru a closet in the house. (tim found it first) They did have some good aspects, like the chair, (hey kids, that one worked.) And the little things. But WTF! Havent you ever seen a scurry movie before!?! Alright. I get frustrated when filmaking goes wry. Well, today Aunt Kathy and I are going to go see 'The Return of the King.' Were gonna go to the 4:00 showing. So, we problably wont get back until 8 or so. Yayy! Then I have school tomarrow. I dont wanna go!! I do, so I can get out of the house, but I dont because I dont want to have to but up with all the hysterics that are going to becoming from everyone. Oh, and I am going to re-dye my hair tonight. The red is really fading, so I got a new bottle last night. wOOt! Ok. Im out like a light. Write later. Promise. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Song -- 'Teenage Riot' The*Ataris I know, I have been slacking a little. That's Ok. I've got a major update to post. There's something for everyone here. I was browsing thru some of the blogs from the people I've met. And came up with this Questionaire. (Gimme a break, I was bored.) NAME FOUR BAD HABITS YOU HAVE: - Biting my bottom lip. - Cracking my knuckles. - Saying, 'Ya Know?' after everything. (almost.) - Spending an extreme amount of time online. NAME FOUR THINGS THAT YOU WISH YOU HAD: - Special Powers - '67 Shelby Mustang - Kurt Cobain Style 'Epiphone' - Ipod NAME FOUR SCENTS YOU LOVE: - Smell after the rain - coolwater colone - New socks - Axe Pheonix colone NAME FOUR PEOPLE THAT KNOW YOU THE BEST: - Sarah - Ciara - Eric - umm..Ephraim?!? NAME FOUR THINGS YOU'D NEVER WEAR: -Spandex pants - Anything pink besides my converse - Holiday Knited Sweatshirts with sequins - Extremly baggy pants, with pockets the size of China NAME FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT NOW: - Something to eat - My computer is gay - My band needs to practice - I need a boyfriend, and a life. NAME FOUR THINGS THAT YOU HAVE DONE TODAY: - Managed to get out of bed at 11:00 - Go to the store - Spend pointless hours online - Eat a pop tart. NAME THE LAST FOUR THINGS YOU HAVE BOUGHT: -Constriction Paper - 'Billy Talent' CD - A journal - 'Alice 19th' manga NAME FOUR BANDS/GROUPS MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW YOU LIKE: -Jets to Brazil - The Mars Volta - Further Seems Forever - Uncle Joe NAME FOUR DRINKS YOU REGULARLY DRINK: - Water - Diet Pepsi - Sprite - Occasionally Carmal Macciatio FIRST GRADE TEACHER'S NAME? - Mrs. Manion LAST WORDS YOU SAID: - 'See you later. dude' LAST SONG YOU SANG? - 'In this Diary,' The*Ataris ( It came on in Bed, Bath and Beyond. haha) LAST THING YOU LAUGHED AT? - The 'L33T' version of 'romeo and juliet' LAST TIME YOU CRIED? - I dont remember..(yes I do. I just dont wanna say!) WHAT'S IN YOUR CD PLAYER? - The Mars Volta 'De-loused in the Consortium' WHAT COLOR SOCKS ARE YOU WEARING? - White, soccer socks. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? - Drawers, because its a waterbed. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY? - around 11:00 CURRENT TASTE? - Diet Pepsi, and pop-tart. CURRENT HAIR? - A curly, messy ponytail, that's ready for action! CURRENT CLOTHES? -Finch t-shirt, Black bondage pants. CURRENT ANNOYANCE? - People with problems..haha CURRENT LONGING? - A old-fashioned PB + J CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE? - Brand New CURRENT WORRY? - That I'll die alone. CURRENT HATE? - Knowing that I have lots of friends, but having no phone calls. FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? - Awesome hair! (and good abs!) FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? - In my room, with the blue lights on. LEAST FAVORITE PLACE? - Grandma's house. Wow. Those are awesome. You are Persephone, from 'The Matrix.' Tough cookie, you are, yet there are strains of sadness and desire that lie beneath you- of course, you wouldn't want anyone to know. You're too busy putting up a facade. urlLink What Matrix Persona Are You? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla Yayy! I always knew I was a greek godess! hahaha...Well Im gonna go. Gotta get more stuff. I'll write tomarrow, or later I swear! |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Friends can surprise you. You can be surprised. Everything was fun. The Band. The really crappy-gay 80's board games. Sitting at the end of her driveway at 1 a.m. The deep convos. Cold Pizza. Sparklers. 'Coke-a-Cola.' Yelling out the window like a retard at Ryan, Jon and T.J. Barb-b-cue Chips. I thought. 'Hey dummy, it's new years. I need resolutions. Cool resolutions.' So, I thought what better place to put them but my blog-of-fame. Or, blog-of-shame. 1.) Forget about any feelings I have previously felt for *shall remain silent* 2.) Become a in-cogneto-super-hero. (anime-style. ah-hahaha.) With select powers I will list after..*grin* 3.) Become more self-confident. 4.) Loose (atleast) 10 lbs. (I kno, I had to throw it in!!) Thats about it. I only want to make those I think I can accomplish! And I think those are pretty good. Ok. Now I'll elaborate on the super-powers. The power to fly. ( a must!) Ablity to teleport! (totally awesome) MindReading. (another must) Immortality. (^^) The power to make guys fall in love. Any guy. *wink* I think thats about all for right now. I'll for surley come up with some more later on. I'll update again then too. Ugh! School starts again in 4 days. That is Monday. Too soon. I don't want to deal with *HIS* bitchass and the problems that risen over break. Oh, well. I guess I'll say enough is enough cuz it's not comming back from him. I can't win. I need to stop expecting change. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | -Song- 'Hands Down' Dashboard Confessional -Mood- Blah. Yeah, I'm not angry anymore. Well not enough to mean anything to you anyways. After I posted earlier, I went for a very looong walk. For like 2 hours I was gone. I was down in the bottom, in the woods..haha I was running from the people on the quads! It was crazy-hu-ha-hu-hu-ha! I hate the way I am. I hate being so funny, and so loud. I hate it. I wish I was more quiet and serious about alot of stuff. I wish I was more studious. People can't take me seriously. I can't take my self seriously. Maybe that's the reason I can never get a boyfriend. They have infurity complexes when Im around, because Im so loud. Guys always have to be the center of attention. I dont know what I could do to change that though. I mean I can't just change in a snap. Things take time. I never seem to have anytime. I hate this shiz. -*argh*- Oh well. I think Im going to go on a scary movie marathon! I need one! I love those movies. Oh, snap jesus, that kid has kicks. I need to read more some more of Edgar Allen Poe. He was such a genious for his time. He creates such atmosphere, and dramatities with words. 'The Cask of Amantillado.' Its very good. You can learn a thing or two about revenge in that short story. 0o; Well ima go. I need something. I dont know what yet. If you kno, let me know. I'll love you 4-lyfe!! Okay. Nevermind I've got something else to complain about. I hate people. I hate people. I hate people. I hate people. I hate people. I hate people. I hate people. I hate people. I hate people. I hate people. I hate people. Yes, That's right folks. I do. I dont care anymore. I am going to go far away. Maybe Cocoa Beach. That way I can live on the beach, surf, and go to school, where the people dont know me and everything would be all fine an dandy. I can't wait until I drive. I can just get up and go. I dont care, and I doubt you do. Oh, snap jesus, that kid gots kicks!! |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Hello fellow readers. This is time for another instal-ment of things that make Heather mad, and what she hates. -ding!- Okay. First of all. Alot of things have been making me mad. Dont ask me why, because I am normally a very not-mad person. Argh. Like, I can't stand it when people ask me a million bizgillion questions on the saaame topic I mind you, that I told them from the get go I dont know much about. Okay, the second thing that makes me angry is when people say that there going to do something, and they dont. When they completly blow the person off. That is really horrible. I can't stand that for the life of me. Third of all. It's really nice outside, but do you think I have anyone to go walking with, or go do something with? No. No. No. I am such a loser, that I have to spend it all inside on the computer typing in this damn blogger because no one ever wants to do anything. Ugh! *phew* Now, onto what I hate. I hate alot of things latley. I dont normally hate anyone/anything. I dont know whats wrong with me. Im not going to go into an extreme amount of detail, but yeah. It makes me soo aggravated because I cant say what I want to say. I always feel like Im saying something stupid. Or that something isnt right. People have that affect on me. I hate my four wheeler, because I accidently blew out one of the tires last winter, and I havent been able to ride for like 3 months now. Riding was defnintly one of my 'ska' things. That makes me so mad. I dont know what to do. But dont worry about me. Because no one ever has, and no one ever will. BaH! Im going to go before I get really mad. Some one Save me. I will love you forever if you do! |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Yeah. Nothing has really happened since I last updated, but Im horribly bored and not tired, so I fiured that I would type more of my ever-so-tragic-drama-less-life, in hizzle. Well, tommarow ima spend the night over Sarah's house, that way we can hang, and do the little secret mission. haha yayyyy. fun fun. I didnt get to el talko (L - TACO) tonight. Im mad. hahaha not really. I feel soo ADD. I really thing her case is wearing off on me. thats not cool man. Oh Yeah! (kool aid guy voice) Im soo bored! And tired. NOT a good combo. lmao. Ima gooo befooore i gets tooo off the wall. yup. Save Me Before I Go Insane. And ill love you for life. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | I thought I had everything figured out. Yeah, go figure. Let's see. At the beginning of last week, things were good. They were actually more than good they were great. cue *happy ska, happy ska* Than things started to turn around in simple directions. And I got lost. Did I mention I am still lost? Eyah. Things suck. Charades in band was a riot tho! And for the record. My happy streak was only 10 days. Ahem. 'Anthem of our dying day,' is an awesome song. I suggest all of you go out to your pc and download it. Yes. That's right.. ^^It's by Story of the Year, if any of you were actually going to dl it. Im going to go. My head is a mess. Blah. I need someone to talk to, and a drummer. That stuff makes it possible. Holy cruton of Christ. Someone save me..I'll love you forever if you can. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Mmmkay. It's been a few days. But my brain has been pulling a double-over time. I need some pink lemonade. That stuff makes it possible. Well. My good mood, has lasted for the longest I think a good mood has ever lasted. Oh, wait. It hasn't lasted 11 days yet. *cough* Yeah. And I actually found a ska band that I can stand longer than I work out. There called 'Madness.' Well, I only hurd one song, so I dont know if I could stand them for that long, but..eyeah. I need to find a new drummer. The ska band needs one. If anyone is a drummer, and good, IM me @ xsurfpunk07 or sign the board with your info. If you do, I will have mad love for you for life and go out on a date with you (^_^) I seriously need a life I swear. All I do is sit at home on the computer, or reading. If anyone would like to come save me sometime, be happy to stop on over. I need some company. Okay, I lied that good mood is kinda going away. Don't ask me why. I dont feel like going into specifics. I just need a few ears to talk it out with. Yeah. (I'll translate the Heather language into normalcey for some of you..) That means I wont talk about it because .. A. No one cares. B. Ppl who do care..dont. C. I dont like talking about my problems. There you have it folks. That makes it possible. Im gonna go talk to some more ppl. (which means ima go aimlessly click the screen) It's gonna take more than just a flotation device to save me. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Okay, I slept in until 11:00 a.m. , actually hooked up my Nintendo 64..(yes, thats right.) and played a few games, until I got motion sickness from Turok. Dont Laugh! Then I layed back down, at some leftover vegetarian lasgana, watched a movie, vistied with my visit-ees. Then came online. I have been so lazy! goodness! I found all of these questions in Espio's blog. I found them interesting. You should too. Which friend... 01. Have you known the longest: Liz 02. Do you argue the most with: Ciara 03. Do you always get along with: Sarah, Bob, Rachel 04. Is the most trustworthy: Sarah, Rachel 05. Makes you laugh the most: Harry 06. Has been there through all the hard times: Sarah, Ciara, Rachel 07. Always has a man/woman: Bob 08. Is the most sensitive: Sarah, Rachel! 09. Has the coolest parents: Me 10. Has the coolest siblings: Dan 11. Is the most blunt: Harry 12. Is the shyest: Dan/Corey (inperson) 13. Is the most outgoing: Harry/Bob/Joe/Sarah/Brian/Rachel 14. Is most rebellious: Rachel 15. Is most conservative: ? 16. Is most likely to become famous: could'nt tell ya. 17. Is most likely to become rich: Corey 18. Is most likely to wind up in jail: Harry 19. Is most likely to have a million kids: hummm... 20. Always wears a smile: The Ska Kids. 21. Is the smartest: Bill Gates. ( i have no clue.) 22. Who has the biggest attitude: Ciara! 23. Without thinking about it, who do you think would die for you: that requires thought 24. Complains the least: me 25. Biggest flirt: ..I dont know how to flirt.. 26. Needs a good man/woman: me 27. Never ever betrayed you: Sarah Personal: 01. Who is your role model: anyone whos happy 02. What are your pet peeves: arrogence 03. Have you ever been in love: hmm..No. 04. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: definitly. 05. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: definitly lots. (betcha didnt kno that!) 06. Do you have a 'type' of person you always go after?: Yes. 07. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): I dont think so. 08. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: probably. 09. Ever been cheated on: Nopers. 10. Ever said I love you to a significant other: Nopers. 11. Rather be dumper or dumped: dumper. 12. Rather have a relationship or a 'hookup': relationship 13. Want someone you don't have right now: Yes. 14. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: Yes. 15. Do you want to get married: Yes. 16. Do you want kids: No. I'd adopt before anything. 17. Do you believe in psychics: no 18. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: no 19. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: My Hair. 20. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: to fake being happy. 21. Are you happy with you: not really. 22. Are you happy with your life: no. 23. Are you depressed right now?: Yes and No. Im happy, but depression always takes over. 24. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: I would get a boyfriend, get happy, (not that i'd give up emo) and stop putting up an act. That's the truth ladies and gentlemen. Lotsa stuff you prolly didnt kno. Yays. Next will be Heather trivia. lmao. It makes it possible. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | I'm Anti-Valentines Day. What about you? Well, it's still early in the day, so something might happen. Woops! I lied. The guys (Harry, Dan, Joe, maybies Bob?) are comming over, and are bringing there instruments! What a first! They won't be here until noon-ish. That means I hafta practice my part and stuff before then. Yeah. I was in a really good mood yesterday. Was. I don't understand anything anymore. I thought I had a concept of how everything worked, but I dont. I totally have no clue. Remember back in like 4th grade, we would have to wear nametags and go around the room saying how we felt and things like that? I wish I could do that again. Later when the guys leave, I am going to have a horror movie marathon. Maybies. I might call Rachel Martin and see what she's up to this Valentines Day. Then we could go TO THE MALL! Yesh! Our Plans! For the record. My 'curse' is gone. People are really stupid. I felt like I should make that known. Yeah I might go see Trapt on the 17th. That would be so awesome. There playing up in Struthers for $15. I dont know if I really want to go, but Dad is excited about it, and that's rad. Track starts in less han a month. That is so kickass. I gotta go get my physical, and I hafta go get new shoes. The last pair dissapeared. I have no clue where they went. Im gonna go listen to Brand New. Im also going to go make a Anti-Valentines Day mix. Haha! Im sucha lozer! Yay! What is your emo band name? by urlLink spiralinghalo Your band name is: Tuesday not Monday You sound like: The Dismemberment Plan You will be signed to: Vagrant Records Your emo lyrics are: 'I hate myself, I'm going to cry now' Name: Created with urlLink quill18 's urlLink MemeGen 2.0 ! |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | New Conclusions. My, my, my. This could get interesting. Yeah, today we had early dismissal. That means more online time! I have like no life. I made the amazing new discovery that I absolulty am over the past, and I could care less! It's great. I feel so happy. I havent felt that way in a long time. (yes, that means i feel ska.) Today, when I woke up, I thought about nothing at all. I had no worries, I had no complains (except it was too early and I was still tired) no stress about anything. I found by the way a new band that is awesome. Well, they may not be new, but they are awesome. 'The Postal Service' I love it! Its like emo-trance-bright-eyes goodness! I need some more pink lemonade. That stuff makes it possible! I'll take 'O' for the win. Oh, we suceeded in finding my ska thing. Yeah. As odd as it may sound, it's emo music, but in the same sense it's something else. Yeah I guess you could say that. Hum. ^ there a good band too! Goodness, Sarah's rapidly increasing A.D.D case is slowly wearing off onto me. I can tell. I cant wait. I want to make a movie, 'The true life, of ding dong ditch.' And go around and play the prank on lots of people, and have me catch it all on film. That would be ah-mazing. I was kinda depressed today. I didnt get any carnations. At all. Everyone else did, but not me. I wish I could of gotten a silly flower. Even though it will die just like everything else. But oh well! enough of the sad stuff! Im gonna skidattle. Who ever is reading this needs to sign the tagboard. Yeah. Thats right. lol. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | If I told you that today was a very eventful than I was wrong. This could GET eventful! --Finish Later. I've got some talking to a certain person to do.-- Wow. Yeah that was awesome. Okay. Besides that. Today has been very boring. As always. Tommarow we get out early. That will rock. I might end up riding the bus home with Sarah and spend the night over there. That would get interesting. We go absolutly crazy. haha. I dont know. I have been in a really good mood today. For some randomly odd reason. *wink* I better skidattle. Sign the tagboard thing. Its awesome. Yeah. Go kick some ass. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Yeah. It's been a few days. Today, I realized just how much my life sucks. All I do is come home, go straight to the internet, get off, read, do homework and go to sleep. Im the ephiphany of a geek. Theres a new kid in school. Got a good sense of humor, nice personality. Someone I need to get to know better. Yeah. Valentine's Day is in three days. Oh, joy. Another Valentines Day wasted on my own self loathing because im too big of a loser to have anyone. Go me. And me and sarah's buisness hasnt recieved any customers. Yeah. Thats what I thought. If I could see into the future when I was 6, and see just how I turned out, I would killed myself then. I'll take 'X' for the block. School does nothing but bore me anymore. The only class I actually enjoy would be Algebra because it's a challenge, Public Speaking because Kozar is a riot and the people are awesome in there. And French is above all because it owns. Dont listen to 'I love you, Not' by Homegrown. Its nothing but a flashback. Yeah all my entries are like I have ADD. Random Comment here, there. There everywhere. I'm thinking about everything wayy to much again. When that happens I start feeling sick. I feel sick. Why cant anything good ever happen to me? I think I've paid my dues. Something good hasta happen. You would think. You would also think wrong. Yeah Im gonna go. I need to work on this gay template and figure stuff out. I dont care anymore. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Yeah today really sucked. First of all, I didnt get enough sleep last night. Plus I was stupid and took 3 advil before I layed down. That means I'll be sick for the rest of the week. Yay, for me. 'Mistakes are misleading, you shouldnt think what youre feeling..' Death Cab for Cutie - Lightness. Wow. That has never been any clearer to me. I need to talk to Rachel. I talked to her for quite a while online. Yeah. Were both basically in the same boat. She will be very interested in what I hafta inform her of. Yay. 'He always enjoed being the bearer of bad news..' Igby goes Down - Olie Same here. Wow. Maybe you should call me Igby. Lmao! O yea! |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Yeah, I know I havent written in here since, forever. Alot has been going on. Well not that you could easily tell, with my lack of communication to the outside world. Yeah I have been thinking about lots of stuff. You know, that it is never good when I think about lots of things. Such an interesting frame of mind. I dont care anymore. I wish that I could come right out and say everything that I have ever wanted, to whoever I wanted. Maybe all of this would then go away. Everywhere I go it seems that I unleash another memory. It has almost been 6 months and I still can't seem to get a grasp on anything. Like yesterday, I went to Best Buy to get 'Death cab for Cutie' because im in love with like 4 songs off of it, and when I walked down the cd aisle I passed this guy, and at that moment I got the largest wiff of axe from him. That brings back too many itself. Last time I said anything about it to someone, I got relayed back to him. That's not gonna happen again. I watched the greatest film that I have ever seen in a long time last night. Its called 'Igby goes down.' Wowzers. It was so powerful. It has Kieran Culkin, who is, for those of you who dont put two and two together McCaulay Culkin's younger brother..the 'Home Alone' kid. Yeah... Anyways the movie held to many truths to my own life that I dont want to go into detail about and bore you with, so i'll save you from that. Ok, I in relation to what is going on in my head I have kinda reached some questions that I cant quite seem to answer because I dont have all of the answers. If a person reaches a point of lonliness, does that person slowly start to forget about what made them sad in the first place? Like do they get to a point where its such a culmination of a million things that they forget who or what has caused it from the start? I think I have. I dont know. Im gonna go. Maybies I can get the guys to come over tomarrow. I hope so. Its so boring when they dont come over. Especially in the winter because there is absolutly nothing to do. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Bah. Bah. Forget it. Nothing more. Yeah Yeah Yeah. Woo. No. I said hell now. I mean no! Fiznucking Shiz! ^^Gotta love espio! |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | urlLink What Famous Leader Are You? urlLink personality tests by similarminds.com |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Crammed - Packed - Never - Ending - Weekend - Of - Mayhem. Wo0o0o. Okay. I've got nothing to rant, nor rave about this weekend, so I guess I'll just describe to you what I did. That works. Friday - Had early dismissal. Blah. Came home, ate, went online, and sat around until about 2:45. Then I went back to school so I could go to track practice. Yeah, I was there until about 4:30. Though, all we did was streches, blocks and 3/100's. Easy practice for Saturday. After when I came home, I did nothing, but sit around. Boring. Saturday - Got up at 7, because of my loud and ingnorant father who decided to be loud when he was getting ready for class woke me up. Left at 8:30, and stopped at the gerocry store so I could get some powerade ^_^' continued up to the school where the bus left at 9:00, got to Austintown/Fitch at 9:30, ran the 100 in 19.5 seconds, and ran the 200 in 41.3 seconds (I could of been faster in both, damn blocks!!) I didn't get home from that until 4:30. So when I came home, I was in a really good mood, and I played a little volleyball, and sat around, until randomly Harry showed up in my house, soon followed by Dan and Ryan. Then, they ubducted me, and we went down to the school, so I could film Dan trying to do a ollie over a skateboard, on a skateboard in 13 takes > While I was down there, I called back to my house to let my mom know where I was, and I asked her if I could spend the night. So I did, and we ended up sitting around playing the 007 game, which was being gay as hell, and Harry kept using my shoulder as a pillow, so we all ended up going to bed at like 2:30. Sunday - Woke up at 9:30, and sat in the living room because no one else was up yet. When everyone finally got up we all watched Weird Science (except Dan, because he was still sleeping, until he left at like 10:45) and then Dazed and Confused, I left around 1:30. Came home, ate something and did some shiz on the computer. The guys showed up at my house at like 2:00 - ish, and then we walked to downtown Sharon, where we sat around for a few hours. Walked back to my house at 5 - ish, layed around for a hour or so, and attempted to play twister until my mom came home ><. Then, they left at 6:30 - ish. Since then I have been doing a combination of computer/cleaning/dinner/bath/alias. Yeah. Well Ima go. Alias comes on in 2 mins! Woo. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Yeah, That's right. I really hate people. I take that back. I only hate certian person/persons. You guessed it ladies and gents. This calls for another round of 'Things that make Heather incredibly angry.' Round 1! Okay. Sometimes people have more than friendship feelings for somebody else. Therefor, that person wants to get closer to the other person, for this instance we'll use 'victim' in refrence to the other person. . . Kay. At the same time the 'hunter' is hoping that the 'vicim' feels the same way. Now, normally, the 'vicim' would show this by a thing called massive flirting, more than norm contact (verbally and Physically) and by many other things. We like to call that leading the 'hunter' on. If any of you are not familiar with anything I have just been ranting about, I suggest locking yourself in your room, listing to mad amounts of emo, and if you are totally lost, call Ben. . . Continuing. Now, there are circumstances, when the 'vicim' is, how should I put this, socially retarded. Well, Ima put this into diffrent terms. There basically users. Gay friznucking assed users. ArGh! That makes me so mad. And if you dont know who I am talking about, I honestly dont think you have any right to be reading this. Oh well. Im going to go, were all going over to Harry's and then to the buhl club for swimming. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Yeah. It's been a while..again! Alright. It's not like I can ask you what you want to hear first the good news or the bad news. So, I'll give you the good first. (Plus, I dont actually have bad news, other than my life.) Good Shiz: I get my permit in a month. Which is awesome! Yeah, cuz today is the 20th and my bday is October 20th. (keep that in mind) So next month is my 15 and a half cele! w00t! Bad Shizncking Shiz: Nothing has really changed with me so far. Other than the fact I don't like a certian person that will remain unmentioned, because of the fact, I am not 'outgoing' and I am a quiet person. *cough* So I'm just calling it quits on that little project. Well, last night at the mall with the guys, (Bob/Dan/Harry/Chris/Joe-ish Tonight's gonna be fun too! Were all heading over to Bob's house (same people) and watching a few good movies! Yay! I dunno when i'll be home, Im not heading over there until 5:30-ishel. It will be another late night event! But thats okies, because I don't have track in the morining. That is awesome. I def. need a day off. But I think they are comming over tomarrow. That will be cool too. I have so much fun when I am around them. Oh well. I gotta go. Im leaving in a little, have ppl to talk ta yets. I'll write later. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Yeah, I know it's been a while. But. My damn internet was down because of the stupid friznucking people at sbc doesnt know what the hell they are doing. And. I have had track for the past week. Im really tired. A-Kay. People are really starting to get on my last neve. I mean, people that I thought were my best friends, are randomly starting to hide things from me. What ever happened to telling people things. Not just any people or person, your friend. I mean, you guys know me. Im a layed back person. Im not one to over react about anything..well almost anything. I don't understand you people anymore. I take that back. I don't understand you. Yeah, you thought it was bad right? >Wrong. Bad only justifys the skin of things. If you want to save me, I'll be endebted to you forever. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | WoWzErZ!! Rachel Martin just made my day! She's the best! She's such a sista! lmao! That is soooo PiMp! |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | -Song- 'I'll Catch You' The Get Up Kids -Mood- Througly depressed. Wow. Today was such a fun day! Wow. I can lie really good. I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. Maybe it's because I don't wanna know.There's so many things that make everything so wrong. It's too hard to concentrate on them all. I wish I could just spill my heart out to some one, but I can't find anyone who would want to listen that hasn't hurd it all before. My life is one big block of cheese. It just sits there and let's the world take it's tole without fighting back. That is soooo not pimp. I need to loose weight and fast. I also need to run some for track before it actually starts. I have been lifting though, that way when I gotta throw, I have a arm. I don't know if I want to go to that ska concert now. I might, but I dunno. I havent been feeling the slightest bit of ska latley. That is definitly not pimp. Bah Humbug. If anyone would like to come and save me one of these days, I'd be more than happy to be saved. Ima go before I get you sad. Don't feel bad. No one does anywho. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | -Song- ''All we ever needed'' The Early November -Mood- ..umm..cheese danishes.. Um, yeah. Today was really boring. You have no clue. I'm reading this new series, it's pretty nifty. Called 'Jing: King of Bandits' Deals with a guy called Jing and his crow/assistant named Kir. It shows a bunch of diffrent things. Theres also pirates in it. That score's it about 10 points extra. Deary me, I am so excited. Track starts next week, that means, I HAVE to go on a diet. I need to workout more. The only problem is, I don't have determination enough to stick to any solid routine. Bah. I havent had pop in like, a week. That is awesome. Not really. I want some now. No, I do not have chipmunk cheeks. I wonder what it would look like if I wrote everything backwards.. sdrawkcab gnihtyreve etorw I fi ekil kool dluow ti tahw rednow I.. ^^ That was so nifty! You know what I hate? Well, theres alot of things, but let's zoom in on one.. I hate when people use me, and then try and pull it off like they did nothing. Argh. It makes me so mad. I dont care anymore. Not anymore. bah. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | -Song- 'Capitalism stole my virginity' The (International) Noise Conspiracy -Mood- Been Better. Sorry I didn't write yesterday, but I was gone almost the whole day. But it was fun. Haha. The guys are amazed at my video game playing skills. They didnt think I could play. But I can. Today was just another blur, nothing good has happened. As usual. I want to go to the last fall from between show, at North Sharon Firehall, but Nooo Im not allowed. I might hafta make it another secret mission.. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Well. I had a good day of workin' out today. -Phew!- We did 10 grovers, and a 800 meter run (two laps) then we did 100 of backpedals, knee-highs and butt-kicks. Fun for the whole family. Im really glad I joined track this year, because I've lost alot of fat. I need to loose more though, so I can be less fat. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | 'Whispering Actually' - I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Buisness Everyone needs to go download this song . www.purevolume.com Yeah, if you don't your lame. Seriously. Shiz. I need to go get the new episode of Red vs. Blue. It came out today. Gotta love it. I'm so stupid. Seriously dude. I don't even know anymore. Nor do I want to. Yeah, Im going to go. All I can do is ramble. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | -Sigh- I have no clue what is going to happen. You know, I thought I was at a perfect situation. I had plenty of people that I hung out with, I had very good grades, hell, I even made it on the honor roll with a 3.9 gpa. I ran in track, and each time I ran, I got better. What could be better? Honestly. But now, I don't know. I hate where I live, the people I've hung out with don't want to hang out with me, nor talk to me. My grades in some of my classes are starting to slip because I've been doing so much, I haven't the time to study and do all my homework. It seems as though all that has ment anything to me, is just slipping away. And, of coarse it had to happen right before summer vacation. Why?. This always happens. Can't I be happy? For more than a 8 or 9 month amount of time? Seriously. I just don't know anymore. I don't know anything. I need to go listen to more of The Early November. Then, I need to go to sleep, where I don't realize how shizzy things have gotten. .. Way away, away from here I'll be.... |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | -I have had it up to here. Go take your shiz somewhere else. - Honestly folks. I can't stand any of you anymore. Well.. maybe some of you..but only a select few! Argh. I dont feel like talking. No one cares. I need some sleep. Go have fun with your friends. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | You know what? - I can't stand this anymore. Why can't I say what I want to say? I want to sit everyone down, and tell them exactly what I feel, why I feel it. I don't want to just play around anymore. This sucks like a mother. I still don't feel like talking. Tomarrow is gonna be fun. O yeah. I get to do the 1600, 4 X 2 relay, the 200m dash, and the longjump. Great. Yeah, so I guess Im a distance runner now. That kinda sucks. But, it's okay. Tomarrow will be fun. As long as I think that I've got nothing to loose..right? I hope so. I need to make a new mix for track. That way I've got stuff I can think of. Saving me from all of this, would just be too much for you. Don't bother. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Why do you people think I'm going to flip out about everything? -I don't get any of you. I told you before I'm not a mean person. Why must you act like I am? I don't feel like much talking, except for a few people. And most likely you arn't one of them. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Wow. That's all I can say is wow. Sometimes people never fail to surprize me, even now. If you spend enough time with a person, when it's just you and them, the person can turn out to be almost completly diffrent than they normally act around you. I definitly have a new respect for someone. Yes, that's right folks. I have absolutly no courage. None. It's definitly not there. But I'm also lacking major in the self-esteem, self-confidence, all of the above. Yeah. I think I might need to work on that in order to aproch the aproch-ee. Yeah, about that, I'm definitly not saying anything to anyone else. Word gets out. Easily. I'm definitly going on a hour and a half of sleep. That's so not cool man. I didn't sleep until about 9 in the morning until about 10:30. But, for some odd reason I'm okay. I mean, I had the all day track meet @ East Palestine from 7:30 a.m. until almost 6:00 p.m. when I got home, then I walked down to Harry's hung out there, came home and got my clothes, went back down and hung out all night. And, I basically just got home. Sounds like loads of fun, right? Damn right it was fun. Wow. I bet you wern't expecting me to say that, were ya? Well. So what. I can't wait to talk to someone! Seriously! When I wasn't talking to this person, he was always online. And now that I'm not, he's not on. Go figure. That's okay. He's still talking to me. Does that make me Mary? Wow. I hafta talk to Rachel Martin today. I have somethings to tell her, a few updates. It'll be gravy, and she'll be mad, then she'll be sad, and it won't be gravy anymore. It will suck. But that's okay, because that's what I'm here for! I listen to everyone's problems! I don't know why, I just do. I don't like to all the time, but I honestly can't be mean. I don't have it in me. I wish that I could be mean sometimes, just to know what it's like, then I'd want to turn back because I don't think that I could go that long with out cracking a joke, or being anti-mean. Some people think I am mean already. I don't think I'm mean. You know what? I am so totally just rambling on and on and on and on in this entry it's crazy shiz pimp. That's right. I guess that's what happens when you get this little of sleep, worry about everything that's going to happen, are mad hungry and kinda bored out of your mind because there is no one here besides, me and the 'rents. It's amazing that I can go from never being allowed to do anything, to actually finding that I barley spend anytime at home. Not like that's a bad thing or anything, because it's all fun and games, but I do get tired after a while. Like riight now. I'm so freaking sleepy man. Oh well. It was fun. No regrets right? I think I need to stop worrying so much. That's not good. I think it might be making me go bald. Even though I'm not going bald. It might soon if I don't stop. Im going to go, before I ramble on even more. Blah. See YOU on the flip to the dip side. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Alright folks. Welcome to another addition of the special brodcasts from random people's homes!! For this lovley Saturday night, Im talking to you from Harry's house. Everyone is basically over, it's gonna be a party! w00t. Yeah, I had that track meet this morning at like 7:30 til about 6-ish. That was so not fun! But, I didnt get as burned as I did last weekend. Thats a good thing. Im still in a crappy mood from last night. But Im kinda better now. I guess. But not like that matters. I dont care anymore. I have the get up kids stuck in my head, I really want to talk to somebody in perticular, and I can't which makes me mad, but im not a home, so that makes me un-mad....just a little. Im gonna go. Prolly be back later. Somebody Save me. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | I was thinking. What is it about me that drives people away? I'm serious as all hell about this one too. Is there something that I do that people dont like, and they just dont tell me about? If there is, you should let me know, because I hate feeling like this. Especially when I have no one to talk to, and I'm just stuck thinking about it forever. That's never a good thing. I just don't know. I don't think I wanna know. Please don't tell me it's because I'm 'emo'. I've hurd enough of that to last me a lifetime and then some. I'm going to bed. Track meet tomarrow morning @ 7:30 a.m. See you there. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | I realized something today. It doesn't matter what I do. Nothing seems to matter. The world does not care what I do. Which completly screws with the concept of this journal it's self. Never the less. I'm sure a few of you get a joy out of reading this. It just hit me. Like that. |
1,415,200 | female | 15 | Student | Libra | 10,June,2004 | Wow. That's all I'm saying kids, Wow. I love that show. I want to go back. I need to go back. I need to listen to Mustard Plug and Big D. Can anyone help a sista out? Of you do, I'll owe you big. And I mean big. |
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