Datasets:

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mbkim

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AdvisorQA

like 1

[ "Best positions to place a fan in a room? I'm trying to figure out what the most efficient way to cool my room with a fan and a window is. In the summer do I want to blow air up or down? Does sticking the fan in the window sill help?", "Best positions to place a fan in a room? I'm trying to figure out what the most efficient way to cool my room with a fan and a window is. In the summer do I want to blow air up or down? Does sticking the fan in the window sill help?" ]

[ "Fan in window, negative pressure if it's hotter outside, positive pressure if it's cooler. (Aka, blow outside when outside is hotter, suck inside when outside is cooler.)", "If you have a multi-story house you should always have the fans work with the pressure gradient. Basement or first floor fans should suck in, and second floor or attic fans should blow out. Leave interior doors open. If you have hatches to your attic open those.\n\nAlso use shades and/or curtains to block radiant heat.\n\nIf it's cool inside then turn off the fans and close the windows and doors, ventilating can only make it worse.\n\nSource, I'm a building envelope professional. Building science and shit." ]

[ 4, 3 ]

[ "how to most efficiently read dense, dry, or boring textbooks mainly regarding upper division college but also for anyone trying to read through dense information under a tight deadline ", "how to most efficiently read dense, dry, or boring textbooks mainly regarding upper division college but also for anyone trying to read through dense information under a tight deadline ", "how to most efficiently read dense, dry, or boring textbooks mainly regarding upper division college but also for anyone trying to read through dense information under a tight deadline ", "how to most efficiently read dense, dry, or boring textbooks mainly regarding upper division college but also for anyone trying to read through dense information under a tight deadline " ]

[ "Don't be too proud to use Cliffs Notes or other summaries. I refused to use them until I saw that all the top students in my class used them. \n\nPlus, in the real working world, everyone reads summaries and notes of things. ", "What I always did was go straight to the chapter summary and read that first (if it has one). If not, I would skim the section headers and read whatever sections caught my eye. After that, I would take more time to read through most of the chapter, but honestly, I rarely read every chapter of my text books entirely and I did perfectly fine in undergrad and grad school. ", "If you need to know it in detail I have found the best approach is to offer to make notes for other people. Then try to add something funny to the notes every few pages. The extra pressure and the jokes made it bearable for my difficult physical chemistry textbooks.\n", "What I do for some of my engineering stuff is go to the chapter summary and copy it down a few times. Writing things down consciously that you feel are important can help with retention too. Another tip could be to take any class notes and then read up on what the professor emphasised the most. " ]

[ 7, 6, 3, 2 ]

[ "What to do to form better relationship with coworkers you may not like or don't like you Pretty much the title - work goes by faster when you're enjoying yourself so what can I do to get along better with some of my coworkers?", "What to do to form better relationship with coworkers you may not like or don't like you Pretty much the title - work goes by faster when you're enjoying yourself so what can I do to get along better with some of my coworkers?", "What to do to form better relationship with coworkers you may not like or don't like you Pretty much the title - work goes by faster when you're enjoying yourself so what can I do to get along better with some of my coworkers?" ]

[ "Do good work on a professional level, don't bother them when they are working, be positive and interesting when you interact with them socially, understand that not everyone there wants to be your friend.\n", "All of the other comments, if you do good work, your coworkers will like you, \nAlso, a simple hi, good morning and smile goes a long way. \n", "Be professional and give a little extra when working with that person. Think to yourself \"I don't want to let them down\"" ]

[ 6, 3, 2 ]

[ "Unclogging a Slow-Draining Shower/Bath tub My bath tub/shower drains very slowly, most likely due to hair being stuck in the drain. I've used a bottle of Drain-O which temporarily solved the draining issue in my bathtub, but it's draining very slowly again. Is there any kind of concoction I can make to de-clog or possibly dissolve the hair in the drain?\nI've tried using a plunger, it didn't do anything. Also, I don't have access to a high-pressure hose of water to push the drain clean.", "Unclogging a Slow-Draining Shower/Bath tub My bath tub/shower drains very slowly, most likely due to hair being stuck in the drain. I've used a bottle of Drain-O which temporarily solved the draining issue in my bathtub, but it's draining very slowly again. Is there any kind of concoction I can make to de-clog or possibly dissolve the hair in the drain?\nI've tried using a plunger, it didn't do anything. Also, I don't have access to a high-pressure hose of water to push the drain clean.", "Unclogging a Slow-Draining Shower/Bath tub My bath tub/shower drains very slowly, most likely due to hair being stuck in the drain. I've used a bottle of Drain-O which temporarily solved the draining issue in my bathtub, but it's draining very slowly again. Is there any kind of concoction I can make to de-clog or possibly dissolve the hair in the drain?\nI've tried using a plunger, it didn't do anything. Also, I don't have access to a high-pressure hose of water to push the drain clean.", "Unclogging a Slow-Draining Shower/Bath tub My bath tub/shower drains very slowly, most likely due to hair being stuck in the drain. I've used a bottle of Drain-O which temporarily solved the draining issue in my bathtub, but it's draining very slowly again. Is there any kind of concoction I can make to de-clog or possibly dissolve the hair in the drain?\nI've tried using a plunger, it didn't do anything. Also, I don't have access to a high-pressure hose of water to push the drain clean.", "Unclogging a Slow-Draining Shower/Bath tub My bath tub/shower drains very slowly, most likely due to hair being stuck in the drain. I've used a bottle of Drain-O which temporarily solved the draining issue in my bathtub, but it's draining very slowly again. Is there any kind of concoction I can make to de-clog or possibly dissolve the hair in the drain?\nI've tried using a plunger, it didn't do anything. Also, I don't have access to a high-pressure hose of water to push the drain clean." ]

[ "Get hold of a plunger. Clear out whatever comes up and then pour some bleach down there and leave overnight before rinsing (thoroughly).", "Before you start dumping caustic soda down the drain, pick up one of these type pullers. [Gross hair ball maker](http://zipitclean.com/). Should be less than 3 bucks, and they actually work. Picked one up in desperation when we were staying at my mother-in-laws holiday condo. Its a former time share and the drain was super slow. Pulled out what seemed like a couple of pounds of hair of various colors, and now I swear by them. ", "Sometimes a tub will have a vent. Usually near the drain closing mechanism. In order for a plunger to work effectively, you need to cover that vent. I usually take that whole mechanism out and cover the hole with duct tape. Without that seal, you're just pushing air in and out of that hole. ", "It's almost always hair in the trap. If you can get to the trap, it's better to clear it by hand than with chemicals. There's a plumbing tool (flexible cable) that can often do the job.", "This works for toilets too. Take a bottle of Dawn ( generic doesn't work) and pour liberally down drain, like a cup of it. Wait half hour and pour boiling water down the drain. It works. I was shocked but I've done it several times now. " ]

[ 4, 4, 3, 3, 2 ]

[ "How to become more articulate I feel like in my head I can generally see the truth of issues or how to work through problems, but I can rarely come up with the words or sentences to properly and fully express my ideas to others. I've tried reading books on becoming more articulate/etc, but I haven't noticed any improvement. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to work on this?", "How to become more articulate I feel like in my head I can generally see the truth of issues or how to work through problems, but I can rarely come up with the words or sentences to properly and fully express my ideas to others. I've tried reading books on becoming more articulate/etc, but I haven't noticed any improvement. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to work on this?", "How to become more articulate I feel like in my head I can generally see the truth of issues or how to work through problems, but I can rarely come up with the words or sentences to properly and fully express my ideas to others. I've tried reading books on becoming more articulate/etc, but I haven't noticed any improvement. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to work on this?", "How to become more articulate I feel like in my head I can generally see the truth of issues or how to work through problems, but I can rarely come up with the words or sentences to properly and fully express my ideas to others. I've tried reading books on becoming more articulate/etc, but I haven't noticed any improvement. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to work on this?", "How to become more articulate I feel like in my head I can generally see the truth of issues or how to work through problems, but I can rarely come up with the words or sentences to properly and fully express my ideas to others. I've tried reading books on becoming more articulate/etc, but I haven't noticed any improvement. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to work on this?", "How to become more articulate I feel like in my head I can generally see the truth of issues or how to work through problems, but I can rarely come up with the words or sentences to properly and fully express my ideas to others. I've tried reading books on becoming more articulate/etc, but I haven't noticed any improvement. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to work on this?" ]

[ "You need to read articulate writing, not read about how to be articulate.\n\nPeople say I'm an articulate speaker and writer, but I know most of it comes from the eclectic interests I have and the wide array of material I've absorbed in my time on the planet. And it isn't just reading material; it's visual material and audio material.\n\nEminem, Picasso, Beethoven, Warhol, Hitchcock, Tarantino, Dickens, Twain all have something to offer. They all have ways of translating complex ideas, notions and emotions into other forms.\n\nIf I'm writing a business paper, I'm going to use a Time, Harvard Business Review, NY Times, or BBC approach. I often find myself trying to take technology and explain it in business terms, or describe a solution in terms of benefits and value it represents rather than what it is. I don't know if I use metaphors, similes, or analogies -- I'm no English language major. In fact, I don't even have a degree. However, I do have a passion and in interest in betterment, and this is something that I've spent years working on.\n\nLearn from everything. Imagine you were reading/writing/presenting in the style you want to become, study it, dissect it, and copy it. And then widen the breadth of your interests and never stop learning and emulating.", "Read published writings. Back when I was younger, my mother used to tell me to read anything and everything, but that doesn't hold true anymore. Now we often read exclusively things written by our peers or things that are not reviewed or even well written. I often find myself reading something someone wrote on FB or Reddit or what have you, and find myself thinking I'm going crazy because I can't for the life of me understand what they are trying to say. If you want to be more articulate, read things written by people who are articulate. It will broaden your vocabulary, expand your knowledge and good use of grammar, and make you change the way you use language. I think one of the biggest problems with the Internet is that we are exposed to such poor writing. In short, read books, newspapers, etc in addition to things on the web.", "If you want to get better at talking, one thing you can do is practice talking.\n\nAnd if there are specific things you want to talk about, you could stand to specifically practice talking about those things.", "Try writing your thoughts down for yourself (as in with pen and paper) every now and then, think about what words you could use.\nSee it as a sort of practice.", "Read and write, read and then write, Read and then you know what to do. Slowly language will become almost like second nature to you, you just have to practice the muscle regularly. You'll be fascinated by the words that are suddenly at your disposal and your communication with other people in general will improve. You just have to stick with the process of flexing your reading/ writing muscles and you'll see results in no time.", "Consciously give yourself time to form sentences. In job interviews -- one of the more stressful situations for conversing -- I'll occasionally say, \"That's a great question. Let me think about that for a moment.\" \n\nBuys you maybe 10 seconds to put the right words together; that's often just enough.\n\nAlso, in classroom or work meetings, wait to raise your hand or interject until (1) you've got a well-formulated idea in your head, and (2) the conversation hasn't moved on to another topic. If it has, decide whether it's worth a follow-up conversation with an individual to share your thoughts in a more informal setting." ]

[ 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "I had a divorce and cross country move. I’m an introvert that rarely starts conversations. What are some techniques and conversation starters to meet new friends? I never know what to say or do. ", "I had a divorce and cross country move. I’m an introvert that rarely starts conversations. What are some techniques and conversation starters to meet new friends? I never know what to say or do. ", "I had a divorce and cross country move. I’m an introvert that rarely starts conversations. What are some techniques and conversation starters to meet new friends? I never know what to say or do. ", "I had a divorce and cross country move. I’m an introvert that rarely starts conversations. What are some techniques and conversation starters to meet new friends? I never know what to say or do. ", "I had a divorce and cross country move. I’m an introvert that rarely starts conversations. What are some techniques and conversation starters to meet new friends? I never know what to say or do. ", "I had a divorce and cross country move. I’m an introvert that rarely starts conversations. What are some techniques and conversation starters to meet new friends? I never know what to say or do. ", "I had a divorce and cross country move. I’m an introvert that rarely starts conversations. What are some techniques and conversation starters to meet new friends? I never know what to say or do. " ]

[ "My introverted buddy did this a couple years back. He found a meetup group which happened to be a book club and started making friends who introduced him to more friends. He started to go to a second meetup related to another interest he had and the same thing happened.\n\nSo, maybe a meet up group around your interest.\n\n Also with a hard divorce, I suggest the gym or yoga something to clear your mind. Also therapy, for closure and personal stability.", "Meetup.com had all kinds of groups for anything you might be interested in. \n\nThere are even groups for introverts.", "Become a regular at a coffee shop and strike up conversations with the people who work there. “Hey im new to town and was wondering what people do for fun” “ hey is there any bowling leagues around here” “what do you enjoy doing” ect. As an introvert myself doing this helped me with my social anxiety.", "Do you have any hobbies? Maybe get invested in a hobby you like, join a club with like minded people.", "Sign up for some random classes in a community college to make some classmate friends. Or if you’re even slightly religious, join a church.", "\"hey there, do u know ____ by any chance? i heard its ____.\"\n\n\"ye, it is, u should ______.\"\n\nand then conversations start. this is ur new friend. i have lots of social experience as an extrovert btw, hope this helps.", "Never know what to say or do? Probably because you're too concerned about how you come across and what people think of you. Here's a secret... so does everyone else! Accept that and you can really start being yourself which is your greatest asset.\n\nGet over that and you'll find you'll start bonding with similar people and repelling the uncompatible ones." ]

[ 14, 9, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 ]

[ "buying your first home. My wife and I are born and raised in NYC, only ever rented. Looking to move and purchase an actual home, not an apartment. What do we do?? (Common pitfalls to avoid, etc.) Thanks in advance!", "buying your first home. My wife and I are born and raised in NYC, only ever rented. Looking to move and purchase an actual home, not an apartment. What do we do?? (Common pitfalls to avoid, etc.) Thanks in advance!", "buying your first home. My wife and I are born and raised in NYC, only ever rented. Looking to move and purchase an actual home, not an apartment. What do we do?? (Common pitfalls to avoid, etc.) Thanks in advance!", "buying your first home. My wife and I are born and raised in NYC, only ever rented. Looking to move and purchase an actual home, not an apartment. What do we do?? (Common pitfalls to avoid, etc.) Thanks in advance!", "buying your first home. My wife and I are born and raised in NYC, only ever rented. Looking to move and purchase an actual home, not an apartment. What do we do?? (Common pitfalls to avoid, etc.) Thanks in advance!", "buying your first home. My wife and I are born and raised in NYC, only ever rented. Looking to move and purchase an actual home, not an apartment. What do we do?? (Common pitfalls to avoid, etc.) Thanks in advance!" ]

[ "Any offer to purchase should be made conditional on the home passing an inspection by a reputable home inspector. They will alert you to mechanical/structural issues that could cost you money; things like insect damage, foundation problems, water seepage, rot, mold, improper wiring, etc.\n\nThe other big suck is going to be taxes, closing costs, and fees. See a lawyer before you buy so you know what fees are real and which one are BS. There's a temptation to throw these costs into the mortgage, and not focus on them, but they can literally add tens of thousands of dollars -- straight out of your pocket -- over the next 20-30 years.\n\nLearn about financing. Beware of things like 'points' and 'introductory rates' and know your borrowing options and costs. Talk to someone who's recently bought a house in your town/state so you know what to expect.\n\nLast but not least, your real estate agent will be very friendly and personable. But he/she is NOT your friend. They are trying to sell you an expensive item with a very high commission. They'll talk for hours to the contrary but almost all of them only care about getting the deal closed as quickly as possible, and for as much as possible. Don't be confused by the warm personality and gracious smiles, most of them are sharks.", "DO NOT let yourself get get emotionally attached to any house. You will only set yourself up for disappointment if you lose out, or make a rash decision you'll end up regretting. \n\nDon't buy something you can't afford. If you don't know what you can afford, you shouldn't be buying a house yet. Figure out what you can realistically afford before you start looking. Just because a bank will loan you the money does not mean you can afford it. \n\nAs mentioned by others, your agent is trying to make money, so don't rely 100% on their advice.\n\nAvoid using a relative or family friend as an agent if possible, I've seen that turn bad for many people. Go with a highly recommended, unrelated agent. \n\nDon't buy the best house on the block, as that just means the rest of the neighborhood is lowering your property value. This minimizes any chance you have of doing work on your house to increase its value. \n\nDon't try to skimp by not paying for an inspection on any property. Losing out on a few hundred dollars is a small sacrifice to avoid finding a $10,000 nightmare down the line. \n\nIf you're not a handyman or don't have good connections, don't fall into the trap of thinking you can buy a fixer upper and save substantial money. It's a lot of work, time, money and stress even when you do know what you're doing. \n\nConsider the schools in the area if you have kids or might have them any time soon. \n\nVisit a potential house at various times of day to get a better vibe. Are the streets full of kids playing all evening (could be good or bad depending on your age), or does everyone sit on their porch with a shotgun protecting their house all night.\n\nDon't get discouraged during the process, there is always a better house/deal out there. Always. \n\nFinally, have fun. Don't let the work involved stress you out, the whole process can be very enjoyable if you do your research and take your time. Good luck! \n\n\n\n", "Find a good realtor, I actually highly recommend yelp for this (our first realtor was based off the friend recommendation, 2nd was yelp and holy shit was the guy amazing). If you are just not getting a good vibe from your realtor don't be afraid to fire them. Look for someone who does most of their work in your area, especially if it's a high demand area like a NYC suburb. We were shopping for a condo in the crazy ass market that is Cambridge/Somerville (suburbs of Boston) and I think we would have lost our minds had we not had this guy. He wasn't afraid to tell us when he thought an offer would fall through, he was incredibly responsive and helped us avoid most pitfalls. ", "Make a list of things you want and stick to it, you are going to live there for awhile. Buy low and sell high. Make sure the commute is within reason, you are going to live there for awhile. Make sure it has good schools, you are going to live there for awhile. Check out the place on a Friday night, check out the place on Monday morning, go for a walk and get a feel for the neighborhood. Go outside and listen for dogs, planes, trains, motorcycles and other assorted neighbor issues.\n\n", "Don't rush in to it and consider that you're thoughts on life may change later and you may want somewhere quieter\n\nAnd don't go for an interest only mortgage\n\nTry to get a good fixed rate mortgage instead of variable", "-Decide what are your must haves and what you can do without. If you have to have X bedrooms, getting a house with fewer will just cause problems. \n\n-Check out the neighborhood. We could have had a brand new house on a new street and I'm glad we settled on an established neighborhood. Our prices are going up, that other street is filled with empty houses. \n\n-Decide got much work you're willing to put in. Painting is one thing, remodeling is different. \n\n-Pay attention to the landscaping. We have a wooded lot and it's a pain in the fall with the leaves. I never thought about it." ]

[ 7, 5, 3, 2, 2, 2 ]

[ "Tips for working at fast food. I'm planning on getting a summer job at a new Chick-Fil-A opening near my house. What are some tips I could use for dealing with any kind of eventuality?", "Tips for working at fast food. I'm planning on getting a summer job at a new Chick-Fil-A opening near my house. What are some tips I could use for dealing with any kind of eventuality?", "Tips for working at fast food. I'm planning on getting a summer job at a new Chick-Fil-A opening near my house. What are some tips I could use for dealing with any kind of eventuality?", "Tips for working at fast food. I'm planning on getting a summer job at a new Chick-Fil-A opening near my house. What are some tips I could use for dealing with any kind of eventuality?", "Tips for working at fast food. I'm planning on getting a summer job at a new Chick-Fil-A opening near my house. What are some tips I could use for dealing with any kind of eventuality?" ]

[ "Get out as soon as possible. Fast food sucks. High school dropouts are your supervisors. \n\nPersonally, I enjoyed working at my local pizza place. Deliveries taught me a lot about navigating my neighborhood and how to use a map (not applicable after google maps).\n\nIf I could do it over again, I would work at a golf course. That always seems fun to me.\n\n\n\n", "If it is not busy, find something to do. Your supervisor will appreciate your work ethic, and will be more inclinded to cooperate with you when you want to ask for time off or shift changes, etc. Always remember: you are either part of the problem or part of the solution.", "Ask to be cross trained so you have more options, and you don't get bored in one position. Also don't let the customers get to you, %75 of the time they're jerks. (I agree with the others too, get out unless you plan on climbing the corporate ladder. Not the type of job to get stuck in.)", "When you end up dealing with a rude customer or shitty co-worker try not to take it personally. Just remember they probably would act the same way to whoever was wearing the uniform and dealing with them at the moment.", "Either aim high and climb the ladder quickly or GTFO. Working fast food can be fun but you gotta be a bit nuts. I worked at McDonald's in two different states. If you can't have fun, run." ]

[ 4, 3, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to improve music sight-reading. I consider myself a \"musician\" but my sight-reading is just atrocious. I don't have too much trouble sight reading in a choir since it's usually one predictable melody to follow, but anything more complicated and I'm lost. I'm that guitarist who turns his volume way down as soon as sheet music is put in front of him, and the pianist who is happy to improvise and play popular tunes but always has a convenient prior engagement whenever I'm needed to accompany. Please musicians of reddit, help me to be better.", "How to improve music sight-reading. I consider myself a \"musician\" but my sight-reading is just atrocious. I don't have too much trouble sight reading in a choir since it's usually one predictable melody to follow, but anything more complicated and I'm lost. I'm that guitarist who turns his volume way down as soon as sheet music is put in front of him, and the pianist who is happy to improvise and play popular tunes but always has a convenient prior engagement whenever I'm needed to accompany. Please musicians of reddit, help me to be better.", "How to improve music sight-reading. I consider myself a \"musician\" but my sight-reading is just atrocious. I don't have too much trouble sight reading in a choir since it's usually one predictable melody to follow, but anything more complicated and I'm lost. I'm that guitarist who turns his volume way down as soon as sheet music is put in front of him, and the pianist who is happy to improvise and play popular tunes but always has a convenient prior engagement whenever I'm needed to accompany. Please musicians of reddit, help me to be better.", "How to improve music sight-reading. I consider myself a \"musician\" but my sight-reading is just atrocious. I don't have too much trouble sight reading in a choir since it's usually one predictable melody to follow, but anything more complicated and I'm lost. I'm that guitarist who turns his volume way down as soon as sheet music is put in front of him, and the pianist who is happy to improvise and play popular tunes but always has a convenient prior engagement whenever I'm needed to accompany. Please musicians of reddit, help me to be better." ]

[ "Practice, practice and more practice. I know most musicians are terrified of that word but it's the only way to get better. Find some easy pieces and sight read through them, then move onto some harder ones. Pay attention to the key signature and dynamics of the music. Write the notes out if you need to. The more you practice reading music the more natural and easy it becomes. I've been classically trained and playing music since I was really young and sight reading is still not my forte, but I've been noticing a steady improvement in my reading skills. Just be patient and stick to a steady practice routine.", "No short cuts for this one. You have to put in the practice. \n\nThe only way to make sight reading easier and faster is for your brain to be able to recognize groups of notes (ie, all the notes in a measure) without having to focus on each individual note. \n\nThe only way this happens is if the brain already recognizes the group/pattern.\n\nThe only way that happens is because it has already seen it before many, many, times in other pieces of music.", "Talk to /r/LearnMusic\n\nI recently got a piano after more than a decade without having one. I am relearning sight reading. It's just one of those things you have to practice. Don't be too proud to practice on really easy pieces. Sight reading is about the reading, you don't have to get it perfectly on the first go.", "Here's how I am learning sight reading.\n\nMy sigh-singing skills are pretty strong from singing in a high volume Catholic choir that threw motets at me last minute. Doing that for 3 hours every Sunday an 2 hours every Wednesday for 5 years taught me a lot \n\nCurrently I'm finding some success improving my piano sight reading by going through a hymnal that I'm not familiar with. \n\nStart on hymn #1 and learn to play the notes and rhythms, move on to #2, etc. By the time you're on #236 you'll find that you can work pretty well within the style. After I finish another hymnal in going to do the 24 Italian Songs and Arias and then try a Schubert book and skip over Erlkönig." ]

[ 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "Stopping presort standard mail Hey all,\n\nI've already completed the process with dmachoice.org and optoutprescreen.com. \n\nHowever, I'm still getting presort standard mail from companies like Rocket Mortgage, and I'm wondering if the only thing I can do at this point is to contact the companies individually to request they stop mailing me presort standard mail.\n\nAnd if it is, should I contact them by mail or electronically? If it makes a difference?\n\nAny and all advice is appreciated. Thanks!", "Stopping presort standard mail Hey all,\n\nI've already completed the process with dmachoice.org and optoutprescreen.com. \n\nHowever, I'm still getting presort standard mail from companies like Rocket Mortgage, and I'm wondering if the only thing I can do at this point is to contact the companies individually to request they stop mailing me presort standard mail.\n\nAnd if it is, should I contact them by mail or electronically? If it makes a difference?\n\nAny and all advice is appreciated. Thanks!" ]

[ "A lot of companies that do bulk mailings have an opt out form on their website. You can also fight fire with fire, so to speak, and mail a request to have your address removed. The key to getting rid of persistent junk mail is to be *more* persistent.", "It took 3 months but writing \"return to sender\" on all unsolicited mail and then dropping bundles of it in the big blue mailbox outside my local post office stopped all circulars and advertisements from being delivered to my home. The USPS makes a lot of money from delivering this garbage. So you have to annoy them to a point where they stop delivering it to you. It is not only legal, it is your civic duty to NOT accept mail that you did not solicit. Give it back to them." ]

[ 2, 1 ]

[ "How to deal with a workplace bully in a small business, who also happens to be the boss? Unfortunately, the person who bullies myself and my coworkers is our boss. She owns the business (a small hair salon and boutique), so there is no one higher up to take a complaint to. The other employees and I aren't in a position to just walk out, but it would be nice to get a bit of advice from anyone else who has experienced something along these lines!", "How to deal with a workplace bully in a small business, who also happens to be the boss? Unfortunately, the person who bullies myself and my coworkers is our boss. She owns the business (a small hair salon and boutique), so there is no one higher up to take a complaint to. The other employees and I aren't in a position to just walk out, but it would be nice to get a bit of advice from anyone else who has experienced something along these lines!", "How to deal with a workplace bully in a small business, who also happens to be the boss? Unfortunately, the person who bullies myself and my coworkers is our boss. She owns the business (a small hair salon and boutique), so there is no one higher up to take a complaint to. The other employees and I aren't in a position to just walk out, but it would be nice to get a bit of advice from anyone else who has experienced something along these lines!", "How to deal with a workplace bully in a small business, who also happens to be the boss? Unfortunately, the person who bullies myself and my coworkers is our boss. She owns the business (a small hair salon and boutique), so there is no one higher up to take a complaint to. The other employees and I aren't in a position to just walk out, but it would be nice to get a bit of advice from anyone else who has experienced something along these lines!", "How to deal with a workplace bully in a small business, who also happens to be the boss? Unfortunately, the person who bullies myself and my coworkers is our boss. She owns the business (a small hair salon and boutique), so there is no one higher up to take a complaint to. The other employees and I aren't in a position to just walk out, but it would be nice to get a bit of advice from anyone else who has experienced something along these lines!", "How to deal with a workplace bully in a small business, who also happens to be the boss? Unfortunately, the person who bullies myself and my coworkers is our boss. She owns the business (a small hair salon and boutique), so there is no one higher up to take a complaint to. The other employees and I aren't in a position to just walk out, but it would be nice to get a bit of advice from anyone else who has experienced something along these lines!", "How to deal with a workplace bully in a small business, who also happens to be the boss? Unfortunately, the person who bullies myself and my coworkers is our boss. She owns the business (a small hair salon and boutique), so there is no one higher up to take a complaint to. The other employees and I aren't in a position to just walk out, but it would be nice to get a bit of advice from anyone else who has experienced something along these lines!", "How to deal with a workplace bully in a small business, who also happens to be the boss? Unfortunately, the person who bullies myself and my coworkers is our boss. She owns the business (a small hair salon and boutique), so there is no one higher up to take a complaint to. The other employees and I aren't in a position to just walk out, but it would be nice to get a bit of advice from anyone else who has experienced something along these lines!", "How to deal with a workplace bully in a small business, who also happens to be the boss? Unfortunately, the person who bullies myself and my coworkers is our boss. She owns the business (a small hair salon and boutique), so there is no one higher up to take a complaint to. The other employees and I aren't in a position to just walk out, but it would be nice to get a bit of advice from anyone else who has experienced something along these lines!" ]

[ "regardless of the business size, you are legally entitled to a harassment free working environment...that's the responsibility a person takes on as soon as they choose to employ people.\n\nTalk to your state employment office about your rights and what you can do. Talk to an employment lawyer about suing. But let's be honest, if you're not prepared to walk away from this job, your options are limited.\n\n", "Start looking for a new place of employment, and don't expect a positive referral if you start complaining or acting out any retribution. Sometimes there is not much you can do. ", "[Kill em' with kindness](https://alangodshaw.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/steve-brule-last-resort.png)", "Start looking for another job immediately. \n\nGo before the bullying gets worse or your confidence falters. \n\nGood luck", "Start a journal possibly and log any type of harassment in your free time. If you can use a recording device to capture the abuse. Most phones have one and you can hit record. Then put it in your pocket. If anything you can use it if you plan to pursue a harassment case. The key is to have as much documentation as possible to help your case. ", "If you're an intern without pay or a volunteer, leave. That's what I did. If you are getting paid, I would document everything.", "Assuming the boss does this to all the employees, you need to put up a united front. Get everyone together and tell the boss how you feel about the way she treats her employees. Tell her you'll all walk out if she doesnt start treating everyone better. ", "As a previous small business owner,two different sites, same name I have one major point: Most employment is at will, and it's the bosses will that matters most, and as long as the boss hasn't hired you for fraudulent purposes, or isn't firing people in violation of the law, you should be prepared to just quit instead.....I was always prepared to just run an employee into the ground should we ever go to a court of law whenever I began to notice problems at work. I did the verbal, then written warnings before firing, including saving audio and verbal video for proof. Your best bet is to figure out if your boss is approachable first.. then let the boss know in advance (s)he is being a jerk (privately) and just spell out what's wrong, I always appreciated it when my employees would just talk to me kindly about issues, and I hated to be surprised at their misconceptions about me. Though I owned a beauty salon, I was a 9-5 professional in the medical field and worked 40-60 hours in different days and shifts, but always available by phone when not present. I'd hire my day managers with great care, and my co-owner would waltz in as the supervising manager over both our salons, my employees never knew she was a co-owner. \nIn my initial days of hiring, I was such a total pushover for a hard luck story - and was unsure of myself when I had to let people go due to problems (theft, failure to open store doors on time, etc.) As we ran the business over several years, I toughened up a lot after I'd hired a couple of real failures at the expense of my business... and made better decisions on firing including any reason that put my business into question with the public or customers. I chose to keep no friends among my employees, and kept people at an arms' distance as \"that bitch\" kind of boss who actually expected my employees to do the job hired primarily to do (and occasionally may have to do other jobs as required by the business to keep it running - such as changing light bulbs or filling printer toner.) I'd let employees know up front, even on my scheduled day off, that I'd swing in every so often, parking out of eyesight, and show up spontaneously sometimes with donuts or cookies and coffee, but never arriving at the same time of day and had several friends and family members who were \"customers\" doing on-site eval's on days when I was not scheduled to be present(paying upfront for their services in cash in order to obtain receipts and double check against the cash drawer.) I'd even had their automobiles memorized and kept the employees schedule on me at all times, and at times I'd swing past the business at odd hours checking to see which cars were out front (I'd caught employees switching hours without my approval this way.) The mall I rented space from had a serious \"no employee parking\" at the sidewalk close to the business doors. I'd only let one person go in the time the business was open for violating that common rule (ultimately, I was responsible for ensuring the parking spaces assigned to my business were not occupied with employees... according to the mall owner.) I'd had one person refuse to sweep the sidewalk in front of our windows only one time and got that corrected with a simple discussion about daily duties, as business owner I was individually responsible for this under our CAM contract for my rented space. (common area maintenance.) \n I'd taken business law in the previous years to understand my responsibility to my employees and never had to face a suit, (luck I guess. ) My employees had to sign employment agreements and sign for employment policies. I also paid for a background search within the first two weeks of employment and hired people on a 90 days probationary period. I'd ferreted out only one person with a felony who'd lied on his application- and after talking to him about this I managed to get a cash reward with the state human services department for hiring and \"training\" him, and he became one of my most favorite and trusted employee..... again, i was a push over and hired him under the table initially after getting a hard luck story from him about being unemployed for a long period and being homeless. After that I changed my hiring policy and hired a PR thru our attorney to do routine checks on people. Max employees I had was 30, 15 at each salon. \n Small business often make their biggest mistakes in hiring, and I'd worked for both small and large places, learning from tough HR managers as i went along. \n \n ", "You gossip with the customers, right? I'm assuming you get an hourly rate, so just tell the customers some horror stories about her, and that way you won't have to work as much when they don't come back. What I'm saying is to sabotage the business from inside." ]

[ 4, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0 ]

[ "Home Security Tips? I’m not sure if this is the right forum so kindly redirect me if it’s not, I posted in r/homesecurity but I'm curious if there are any less conventional and pricey methods than buying security systems.\n\nI (24M) currently live on the third floor of an apartment building in the US and because of tighter finances I’ll be moving to a smaller apartment on the first floor in a week.\n\nI mostly just wanted to hear if anyone has any solid advice for security measures for living on the ground level facing the street, it would give me a bit more peace of mind at night. Before anyone asks I’m not interested in buying a firearm but a bat wouldn’t be out of the question. Here’s a few things I’m already doing:\n\n-Got the landlord to replace the locks so there’s no way the last tenant has a spare key to the place\n\n-Replacing the screws that hold the deadbolt into the door with much longer ones, I read somewhere this can buy you precious time if someone tries to kick down the door (not that it would matter much because the door is about 50% window)\n\n-The windows actually have little latches on them that prevent them from being opened more than two inches if they are unlocked but two of the windows will have AC units in them. For these I’ll cut wooden dowels to fit in the window frame and accomplish the same thing\n\n-Putting up curtains so people hopefully can’t look in and see if I’m home or if I’m worth robbing\n\nI’ll answer any additional questions in the comments.", "Home Security Tips? I’m not sure if this is the right forum so kindly redirect me if it’s not, I posted in r/homesecurity but I'm curious if there are any less conventional and pricey methods than buying security systems.\n\nI (24M) currently live on the third floor of an apartment building in the US and because of tighter finances I’ll be moving to a smaller apartment on the first floor in a week.\n\nI mostly just wanted to hear if anyone has any solid advice for security measures for living on the ground level facing the street, it would give me a bit more peace of mind at night. Before anyone asks I’m not interested in buying a firearm but a bat wouldn’t be out of the question. Here’s a few things I’m already doing:\n\n-Got the landlord to replace the locks so there’s no way the last tenant has a spare key to the place\n\n-Replacing the screws that hold the deadbolt into the door with much longer ones, I read somewhere this can buy you precious time if someone tries to kick down the door (not that it would matter much because the door is about 50% window)\n\n-The windows actually have little latches on them that prevent them from being opened more than two inches if they are unlocked but two of the windows will have AC units in them. For these I’ll cut wooden dowels to fit in the window frame and accomplish the same thing\n\n-Putting up curtains so people hopefully can’t look in and see if I’m home or if I’m worth robbing\n\nI’ll answer any additional questions in the comments.", "Home Security Tips? I’m not sure if this is the right forum so kindly redirect me if it’s not, I posted in r/homesecurity but I'm curious if there are any less conventional and pricey methods than buying security systems.\n\nI (24M) currently live on the third floor of an apartment building in the US and because of tighter finances I’ll be moving to a smaller apartment on the first floor in a week.\n\nI mostly just wanted to hear if anyone has any solid advice for security measures for living on the ground level facing the street, it would give me a bit more peace of mind at night. Before anyone asks I’m not interested in buying a firearm but a bat wouldn’t be out of the question. Here’s a few things I’m already doing:\n\n-Got the landlord to replace the locks so there’s no way the last tenant has a spare key to the place\n\n-Replacing the screws that hold the deadbolt into the door with much longer ones, I read somewhere this can buy you precious time if someone tries to kick down the door (not that it would matter much because the door is about 50% window)\n\n-The windows actually have little latches on them that prevent them from being opened more than two inches if they are unlocked but two of the windows will have AC units in them. For these I’ll cut wooden dowels to fit in the window frame and accomplish the same thing\n\n-Putting up curtains so people hopefully can’t look in and see if I’m home or if I’m worth robbing\n\nI’ll answer any additional questions in the comments.", "Home Security Tips? I’m not sure if this is the right forum so kindly redirect me if it’s not, I posted in r/homesecurity but I'm curious if there are any less conventional and pricey methods than buying security systems.\n\nI (24M) currently live on the third floor of an apartment building in the US and because of tighter finances I’ll be moving to a smaller apartment on the first floor in a week.\n\nI mostly just wanted to hear if anyone has any solid advice for security measures for living on the ground level facing the street, it would give me a bit more peace of mind at night. Before anyone asks I’m not interested in buying a firearm but a bat wouldn’t be out of the question. Here’s a few things I’m already doing:\n\n-Got the landlord to replace the locks so there’s no way the last tenant has a spare key to the place\n\n-Replacing the screws that hold the deadbolt into the door with much longer ones, I read somewhere this can buy you precious time if someone tries to kick down the door (not that it would matter much because the door is about 50% window)\n\n-The windows actually have little latches on them that prevent them from being opened more than two inches if they are unlocked but two of the windows will have AC units in them. For these I’ll cut wooden dowels to fit in the window frame and accomplish the same thing\n\n-Putting up curtains so people hopefully can’t look in and see if I’m home or if I’m worth robbing\n\nI’ll answer any additional questions in the comments.", "Home Security Tips? I’m not sure if this is the right forum so kindly redirect me if it’s not, I posted in r/homesecurity but I'm curious if there are any less conventional and pricey methods than buying security systems.\n\nI (24M) currently live on the third floor of an apartment building in the US and because of tighter finances I’ll be moving to a smaller apartment on the first floor in a week.\n\nI mostly just wanted to hear if anyone has any solid advice for security measures for living on the ground level facing the street, it would give me a bit more peace of mind at night. Before anyone asks I’m not interested in buying a firearm but a bat wouldn’t be out of the question. Here’s a few things I’m already doing:\n\n-Got the landlord to replace the locks so there’s no way the last tenant has a spare key to the place\n\n-Replacing the screws that hold the deadbolt into the door with much longer ones, I read somewhere this can buy you precious time if someone tries to kick down the door (not that it would matter much because the door is about 50% window)\n\n-The windows actually have little latches on them that prevent them from being opened more than two inches if they are unlocked but two of the windows will have AC units in them. For these I’ll cut wooden dowels to fit in the window frame and accomplish the same thing\n\n-Putting up curtains so people hopefully can’t look in and see if I’m home or if I’m worth robbing\n\nI’ll answer any additional questions in the comments.", "Home Security Tips? I’m not sure if this is the right forum so kindly redirect me if it’s not, I posted in r/homesecurity but I'm curious if there are any less conventional and pricey methods than buying security systems.\n\nI (24M) currently live on the third floor of an apartment building in the US and because of tighter finances I’ll be moving to a smaller apartment on the first floor in a week.\n\nI mostly just wanted to hear if anyone has any solid advice for security measures for living on the ground level facing the street, it would give me a bit more peace of mind at night. Before anyone asks I’m not interested in buying a firearm but a bat wouldn’t be out of the question. Here’s a few things I’m already doing:\n\n-Got the landlord to replace the locks so there’s no way the last tenant has a spare key to the place\n\n-Replacing the screws that hold the deadbolt into the door with much longer ones, I read somewhere this can buy you precious time if someone tries to kick down the door (not that it would matter much because the door is about 50% window)\n\n-The windows actually have little latches on them that prevent them from being opened more than two inches if they are unlocked but two of the windows will have AC units in them. For these I’ll cut wooden dowels to fit in the window frame and accomplish the same thing\n\n-Putting up curtains so people hopefully can’t look in and see if I’m home or if I’m worth robbing\n\nI’ll answer any additional questions in the comments." ]

[ "The guy who lived below me (during my apartment days) had a little motion sensor think by the door that would turn on an exterior light and make it sound like he had an angry 100lb german shepherd inside the apartment. His cat was not amused when he first bought that doohickey.", "A friend of mine lives alone, & she got a door security bar. She was seeing this guy that started acting out & he tried to kick her door in, & nothing happened. I know you already had the screws replaced, but this might be added peace of mind.", "- One thing I did was try to break into my own place. If I could get in, a crim could surely. - Keep valuables out of sight. - Buy a small safe or lock box to keep valuables in while you're out. - Never keep a spare key out, or tell anyone if you have an entry code to enter a foyer area or something, only residents need to know that, thats what the building body corporate guys job is for, letting people in. Apart from that just stay vigilant", "Haveing securiry stickers (particularly off site monetering) can help, you don't even need an actual security system pepole just need to think you have one.", "Get a couple of tazers, place them in key locations.\nThere are smart home devices (such as amazons Alexa spots and dot devices) you can get that detect breaking glass when you set them appropriately, \nRing has a peep hole camera for apartments. And their basic security stuff comes with sensors for your primary doors and windows. Very easy to set up, doesn’t require a subscription but it helps.\nAlso I do know Alexa syncs with ring and enters listen mode for breaking glass when you’re asleep or away.", "Cheap home security online. Many models and features like texting you if it's triggered but you mainly want a pound alarm. The noise is the best deterrent." ]

[ 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?", "How to start going to bed early consistently. It is 3:30 A.M. and I have absolutely no reason to be awake. In fact, I have every reason to be asleep. It's a stressful week full of exams, projects, papers, presentations, and everything else that school can throw at a guy, yet here I am about to get too few hours of sleep once again. Usually I either don't think about the time or I don't care until it's way too late, but either way I find myself in this position way too often. Any tips?" ]

[ "Im in the military, i have to get up at 5:20 every day so going to sleep at a reasonable time is a must (unless i have training / work to do). Here are some tips i use that work for me:\n\n1. Workout during the day, 1 or 2 times, when you body is exhausted its easier to fall asleep at night\n\n2. No naps during the day. Ever.\n\n3. Take 45 minutes to an hour before you go to bed, read a book, stretch, drink a little water or decaff tea, no TV or Computer.\n\n4. No eating right before bed.\n\n5. Make a detailed to do list on paper or computer so you dont have to worry about forgetting something (This keeps me up alot)\n\n6. Dont make plans or think when trying to fall asleep, imagine yourself doing something cool \n\n7. Keep your bedroom cool and with minimal light, use a blackout curtain\n\n8. No caffeine after 4pm\n\n9. Kick some ass EVERY DAY. Get all you can done on your to do list, improve yourself, eat healthy, that way when you try to sleep your satisfied not thinking of ways you can be better.\n\n10. if you just cant sleep after 15 minutes get up, do something, read or do some work, avoid the computer, then try again. If you can sleep there is no use in laying there.\n\nHope it helps", "I find the most important factor for **going to sleep early ** is to **wake up early. ** ****** Even if you're tired as shit, just get up. The day will suck, sure, but it will ensure that come nightfall when your head hits the pillow **you will fall asleep.** Give it a few nights and your cycle should be reset.\n\nHope this helps!", "Well, for one, don't be on Reddit at 3:30 AM. Set yourself a sort of curfew when you walk away from/turn off your computer and either do work or go to bed. And don't do anything in bed but read or sleep. Glowing screens like your phone or computer will just keep you awake, and eating doesn't contribute to a good night's sleep.\n\nGranted, I should be saying this to myself since it's about 5AM here now...", "Many things people have already said are great advice. I'll just tell you this from perspective of a sleep researcher.\n\nHave a consistent routine. It is more important that you wake up the same time every day. If you wake up at 6am everyday and you do not go to sleep until 3am, that is fine. You will be more likely to go to sleep the next night. Make sure your bedroom is dark, quiet, and cool. Do not exercise late at night. Try not to nap. If you must, no more than 45 min and no later than around 3pm. Try to avoid caffeine and cigarettes late at night. Have a bedtime routine that allows you to unwind. When you get up in the morning, expose yourself to bright light (go outside/open windows). Also, hide any clocks in your bedroom. You do not need to know what time it is at 3am and it will only add to your anxiety that you are not asleep yet.\n\nNow, here is some behavioral therapy that will work better (over the long run) than sleeping pills. First, only use your bed for sleep and sex. Do not read, watch TV, talk on the phone, do work, etc. in the bed. You want your body to associate the bed with sleep, not active thinking. When you lay down at night, if you are not asleep in about 15-20 minutes, get up and do something boring. Go to the couch and read a book (not one that you do not want to put down). Try not to turn on all of the lights. TV may be okay, but do not get on the computer, the light is too bright and too close. Once you get sleepy again, do not fall asleep on the couch, go back to bed. If you are not asleep in about 15-20 minutes, repeat. If you have a couple of sleepless nights, that is okay, your sleepiness will aid you in falling asleep later. Basically, it is classical conditioning. You want your body to respond to putting your head on the pillow with \"this is sleep time.\" \n\nIf you need extra help, m", "I once read a tip to cure jetlag, but the guy who wrote it also mentioned that it works for fixing your sleep rhythm (or whatever it is called).\n\nDon't eat anything for 8-10 hours (longer is better). Go to bed at a reasonable time, so you get enough sleep. Even if you feel awake, just stay in bed, having not eaten anything will make you more tired than you think. Set your alarm clock to 10-15 minutes before you need to get up. Use those extra minutes to make a bigger breakfast than usual. Do what you normally do during the day, but when the evening comes, you will be more sleepy than usual. Now comes the tricky part. Don't go on reddit, just go to bed.\n\n", "I hope this gets read, because I struggled with sleep for years and this is the only thing that ever worked for me - and it works very well.\n\nYour body sets your wake up time every morning a bit before you eat your breakfast. It starts to anticipate that meal and wakes you up an hour or so before it happens after a while. So if you keep consistently eating breakfast at 7 a.m., for example, your body will start waking you up at 6. And if you wake up at the same time every day, then your body recognizes that until that time is the amount of sleep it is allowed. If you just let yourself wake up whenever you want, then it knows it can go to sleep whenever it wants. If you wake up consistently at the same time, then it will \"calculate\" how much sleep it needs and make you sleepy that many hours before it recognizes you need to wake up. So for example, if you need 5 hours of sleep, and your body realizes you must be awake at 6 a.m., it will make you sleepy at 1 a.m.\n\nThis works. The key isn't setting your bed time, it's setting your wake-up time. And the meal thing works perfectly for setting your wake-up time.", "Realise that your life won't be any poorer by missing a bit of TV. turn that shit off, get into bed and if you're not tired, read a book. ", "Life- long insomniac here.\n\nI've recently found a pretty good technique to help me sleep faster. \n\n1) low light is a must.\n\n2) stay perfectly still. Don't move an inch. Find a reasonably comfortable position and stay. This can be the hardest part. \n\n3) state of mind: for me what works is imagining being underwater but still breathing, or walking down a deep dark cave *into* a state of sleep. Note: these kind of mind exercises don't work unless your body is perfectly still. Otherwise you'll just stay up longer thinking about swimming and caves. \n\n4) soft music helps sometimes. For some reason the band Memphis does it for me. also M83. \n\nAfter trying this I get to sleep at 12-1:30 easily, when before it was usually 2-5:00. So I hope this helps!", "I too have trouble with the going to sleep early part, but I think a good place to start is making yourself get up consistently early, and eventually the tiredness will catch up to you earlier at night. Good luck :S", "I go to bed at about 11pm and wake up around 5:30am every day. \n\nSo what I would recommend is making it your new schedule. People respond great to structure, find a way to make it your new structure.\n\nSet an alarm in the evening for a specific time, maybe 10pm. Then the rule is to turn off all electronics. Plug in your phone across the room, shut your computer down, turn off the TV, etc. Then you'll have nothing else to do so you may as well go to sleep.", "I can't recommend an [eye mask](http://mattresszine.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/tempur-pedic-eye-mask-reviews-361422-raw.jpg) enough. Any kind will do. I'll almost always find some in the $1 bin at Target. It's not even the fact that these block out light; for me, it's the fact that it keeps my eyes closed. It's like my eyes think, \"Dang, I can't open, and I can't see anything; oh well, that's boring, I might as well go to sleep.\"\n\nI do recommend having natural light in the morning; that will help you wake up properly.", "I think restricting access to tech (phone, computer), even banning it from your bedroom is a good idea. Knowing you can't reach across to your bedside table and grab your phone/tablet/laptop helps a lot.", "I have an alarm clock that has two alarms on it. So set both. One for bedtime, one for awake time. Set them and when it goes off, make yourself get into bed. When it goes off again, make yourself get up. After a couple of weeks, you won't need the alarm at night anymore. An alternative is to set the alarm on your phone to go off at night at a certain time, and set it to be a vibrate alarm. That way the noise isn't startling you. But having the alarm clock go off means you have to physically go over to your bed.", "Get up at the same time everyday. Yes, even Sat/Sun and vacations. You will adjust in fairly short order.\n\nIt took me about 3 weeks to adjust to going to sleep at 3pm when I was working the midnight-8am shift in college.\n\nAs a bonus, you'll be amazed how much you can get done between 8am and noon on a Saturday morning when there's hardly anyone else up and around. ", "Don't go on the computer before bed. use [f.lux](http://stereopsis.com/flux/) to stop that overly bright screen keeping you up at night if you are. ", "put on sun glasses about an hour before you want to fall asleep. If that does not work, at least you look cool.", "This is how to go to sleep effectively, I adapted this method from /r/luciddreaming -\n\nOne of the ways get into a lucid dream is called WILD, or Wake-Induced Lucid Dream.\n\nThe process is that you lie in bed, close your eyes, and stay absolutely still while trying to keep your mind switched on, thinking about being aware in your dream. The key is ignoring all of the little twitches, scratches, wanting to roll over, swallow, etc. Focus on breathing.\n\nI find that if I follow these steps (without trying to keep my mind switched on) I fall asleep quickly and easily. I have in the past had a hard time with falling asleep, but this seems to help a lot.\n\nGood luck.", "There are lots of good solutions mentioned in this thread like drugs (melatonin, 5-htp, benadryl, etc). \n\n\nYou're awake because you're stressed as much as anything else, anxious energy is going to keep you awake no matter what. \n\nBTW, the best LPT i can offer is that it's a lot easier getting to bed early when there's someone else joining you to sleep. ", "Sounds like everybody is answering the question \"how can I get to sleep earlier?\" which, according to my interpretation, isn't what the OP asked.\n\nI would suggest finding the source of your main distraction and using pure, unfiltered discipline to tame it. \n\nTools can help. For instance, if browsing reddit a couple hours every night is keeping you up, google an app that can force your computer to disconnect from the net at, say, midnight every night.", "I take melatonin supplements. 3 mg most nights. Just be sure to get enough hours or you'll feel terrible the next morning (with melatonin). ", "For those of you who do use the PC at night, I recommend this free program\n\nhttp://stereopsis.com/flux/\n\nChanges the ambient light off your monitor to a warmer tone. Easier on the eyes and has been proven to help with insomnia in some cases. You should still take an hour or so off the computer before you sleep, but this will definitely help. It isn't the same as lowering brightness, it changes hue and can be set to do it automatically every day. ", "- Download F. Luxe\n\n- Set alarm for time you want to wake up.\n\n- No coffee after 6pm. \n\n- Start taking Cal/Mag a half hour before you go to bed to start. (Better than sleeping pills, which should be avoided.)\n\n- Make list of things you need to get done the next day.\n\n- Calculate what time you need to go to bed to get six to eight hours of sleep. Add an hour for laying in bed. \n\n- Make your room/bed inviting. (Seriously I cannot wait to hop in bed cause my room and bed rock.)\n\n- Wake up refreshed!", "melatonin helps me a lot. pop a pill when you're getting ready for sleepies, and you'll slowly drift away into dreamland", "exercise, exercise, exercise. when it's sleepytime, make sure your space is cool, dark and clean (at least the bed). the more physical clutter, the more mental clutter.\n\ni need the sound of a fan. even if it's a box fan pointed at the wall. i don't last 10 minutes with a book.", "dont use screens within 3 hours of the time you want to fall asleep. most screens emit blue light which naturally stimulates our brains and keeps us awake. it comes from the sky, its why we arent noctournal. blue light literally prevents you from sleeping, you can find it everywhere, flourescent lights have a lot of it", "You sleep during exams? I don't understand your methods.\n\nIn any case, [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNhnCD0EZtE) should help", "Turn off the lights several hours before you want to go to bed. Don't stay up with all the lights on until right before bed - it throws off your body's perception of time. \n\nTurn off the lights. Let yourself start winding down. ", "Try a quarter-dose of over the counter sleeping pills (diphenhydramine - aka \"Benadryl\") about an hour before you want to go to bed. Usually it's enough to take the edge off and motivate you to crawl into bed. They're non addictive and once you've got some good habits you don't need to take them anymore. Don't take them unless you can give yourself a solid 8 hours of sleep because if you want to get up earlier than that, you will be groggy as shit.", "Try [F.lux](http://stereopsis.com/flux/). It'll probably annoy you at first (\"how can I use a computer with an orange screen?!\"), but give it a few days, you'll forget it's even there.", "Start going to bed early consistently. Some things just take discipline. Tell yourself that today's the day you start, no matter what, and then stick to that. Do it again tomorrow. Then the next day. Etc", "Something that works for me is not looking at the time. I'm serious. If I look at the clock and think, it's 11 pm, that's not late at all, I'll stay up for another few hours. But if I hide all the clocks, I end up going to bed exactly when I'm tired without thinking about how it's too early to be sleeping.", "Set an alarm to go off roughly an hour before your planned bed time. When it rings, immediately stop what you're doing (probably browsing reddit, right?), go brush your teeth and prepare for bed. Assuming you have a TV set in your bed room and the TV has an option to switch itself off after X minutes, set it to turn itself off about 15 minutes after your planned bed time. Now turn off all the lights, lower the volume of the TV to a reasonable setting, crawl under your duvet and make yourself comfortable. If TV is not an option, read a book or use your mobile handset to browse reddit from the comfort of your bed instead. Enjoy being able to relax for 40-50 minutes and let yourself drift off whenever you feel like it.\n\nI've found that this works best if you're watching pre-recorded shows that end without too many cliffhangers. You should also try to follow [oozlefinch's](http://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/sdy4u/lpt_request_how_to_start_going_to_bed_early/c4d8s8v) and [wskerr's](http://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/sdy4u/lpt_request_how_to_start_going_to_bed_early/c4d9hbq) advice.", "One thing that helped me was a continuous noise like a clock ticking. Got that idea from a scene in se7en when morgan freeman hits the timing thingy on a piano and it makes a continuous king of ticking sound. More useful than you think.\n\nAlso, when you end up sleeping late one day and waking up super tired, go to bed that night and you should just sleep because your body would be too tired.\n\nOne more thing, cold pillows.", "Not eating right before bed is a good tip, but also don't go to bed hungry. Hunger pains will keep you up just as much as being full.", "Melatonin. I don't take it every night, but only when I need to go to sleep but I can't because I'm not tired enough. It works great and its not addictive.", "I've had trouble sleeping for about 10 years now and one thing that has seemed to work wonders recently is to take a very warm bath. I normally do oatmeal as well, the scent combined with the warmth does it for me. I also read for about 10-20 minutes in the bath. Your body temperature affects the way in which your sleep cycles work. By increasing it just slightly, you make your sleep longer and more quality. Good luck!", "I've dealt with the exact same issues before, especially during times of stress. I'll think that I have to study for a big test, but my brain knows that if I don't get sleep, I can't study or think effectively, so this ends up being processed as \"don't go to sleep, don't study\", and I'll find myself just laying awake doing nothing. My way of breaking this cycle is to set a bed time for myself that's really early - 10 or 10:30. When it gets to be that time, I tell myself \"okay, time for bed\", and then my brain starts it's \"But we have to study!\" complaints. During this time I'll brush my teeth, check my email one last time, sign in to Facebook, and give in to the \"don't go to sleep!\" then, usually about 30 to 40 minutes later, my thoughts have resolved themselves and I'm able try to go to sleep. I then set my alarm for 9 hours after whenever I go to sleep. If this is 11, great, I'll get up at 8. If it's 12, then I'll get up at 9. One in the morning? Shit, looks like I'll be late to work. The trick is to get your brain more sleep. Once it starts getting more sleep, it will start wanting more sleep, and so you'll resolve the conflict of staying up and sleeping faster, and will start to sleep sounder.\n\nIf you have exams to study for, I recommend 9 hours of sleep a night. It's what works for me. Studying for the GMAT for three months, I collected enough evidence in the form of practice test results to show that, even taking in to account the extra studying I did, sleep has a huge impact (same with alcohol, my practice scores dropped 20 percent after saint patricks day). ", "I was never able to got bed early/get up early until I got a job where I have to be at work at 5 a.m. every day. I went from going to bed at 11 to 10 to 9 to 8 to 7 to even earlier at times. Now that I'm used to it after a year and a half, I usually go to bed around 9 for a solid 6 hours, 45 minutes per night. There wasn't really a trick to it, just put yourself in a situation where going back to bed isn't an option. \n\nI should mention, the previous job really eff'd up my sleep habits. I bartended and so I wouldn't even get home from work until 3 a.m. and usually wouldn't try to sleep for several hours. Getting up at noon, 2 p.m., 4 p.m. regularly doesn't do your psyche any favors.", "I have to get up at 5AM, work 12 hours and come home 8pm. Eat and sleep. Do it again and maybe the next day as well. Then I'm off for some days. \nHere's my tip: Just say fuck it. Can't sleep? I hate it too, but it's no excuse not to get up in the morning. I have to go to work and I'm lucky because I like my job. If you only get to sleep three-five hours during the night - think of it as a long nap. Don't obsess with lost sleep. Just fuck it and drink some coffee. Nap during the day if you can and only during mid day. Don't nap after 4pm or you'll be to awake in the evening. In the evening, when you feel sleepy, go to bed at that moment. If you fight it for too long your body will wake up again.\n\ntldr fuck it. ", "I have been working on this lately. I find that avoiding my computer helps tremendously (I don't actually *need* to be on it). I have been trying to focus on productive activities and when I want to relax I read. Melatonin is also a great tool to use until you get your sleep pattern regulated.", "I have bad anxiety at night. I'll lay there for hours awake. and work myself up thinking i'm hearing things, and then I'll have bad dreams all night. The only thing that will knock me out for good is having a good orgasm. Then I try to focus on how good and sleepy and satisfied I feel, and i'll have good dreams and sleep all night. (OTC pm drugs work too, but I always seem to be groggy the next morning and never really feel rested.) Good old silver bullet... \n\n**TL:DR;** Masturbate/have sex until you orgasm. ", "For me, it took a lot of willpower to stop doing the things I wanted to do at night in exchange for doing the things I needed to do during the day. ", "First tip is to wake the fuck up. I'm gonna go on a rant here because I deal with this all of the time with people in my life. \"I can't get up early. I'm always so tired!!!\" Well don't go to bed at 2:30 in the morning. Go to bed at 10:30. Can't sleep? Go to bed at 2:30 but get up at 8:00 which will seem like the crack of dawn compared to when you normally wake up but guess what? You'll be tired as fuck by 10:00 that night, so just do it.", "First thing stay up all night and through the next day no naps no nodding off just straight stay up so by the time 10pm rolls around you will be dead tired once you pass out you should wake up reasonably early the next morning and then don't fuck up the cycle again.", "Even when i did an hour of competition level Taekwondo i would sleep 2 hrs a night. ive been a LIFE LONG INSOMNIAC. I went paleo in december and havent had an issue sleeping since 2 weeks in. ", "Eat breakfast. Your sleep schedule is based around when you eat your first meal, so youll be able to wake up earlier and therefore go to sleep earlier. ", "Does going to bed late seem to be a bad thing for you? What I mean is that I go to bed between midnight-2am everyday and I'm ok the next day (wake up at 5am) If I go to sleep any earlier I am noticably dragging during the day. Going to be later works for me", "As someone who has been an insomniac since I was born, I've tried everything under the sun. Not a single one of it worked for me. Some people can switch off, some can't. Just like you, it's always when I need to be up early that I can't fall asleep.\n\nRather than spending countless hours in bed trying to sleep or wind down my brain, I've decided to embrase the extra hours I've gained in the day to do things that I normally wouldn't have time for. Whatever it is, it's got to be something semi-enjoyable or else it's not really hours gained.", "As has been said. Hard physical activity through the day, no laptop at least an hour before bed. Says me on Reddit at 01:30", "Advil PM, active ingredient Diphenhydramine. Take it an hour before you wanna be fast asleep, then try to read. Only side effect I can complain of is a bit of drymouth, but as long as you have water by your bed this ought not to be a problem. Not addictive, and it not only gets you to sleep, but pretty much guarantees 8-9 hours of fitful sleep.", "This is an interesting subject and all but this shouldn't be under LPT. The answer to healthy sleep is live a healthy lifestyle. Sorry but posts like this completely stray from the idea of the subreddit. \n\nErgo, downvote. :( ", "There's 130 comments so far and they're all suggesting making radical life changes so you can fall asleep. That's great and it might work but I know if I smoke a little bud I can pass out pretty easily no matter what.\n\nUnless I smoke and find my way over to reddit... in which case I'm up for hours looking at animated gifs.", "all that advise is shit. idealism circle-jerk\n\nassuming you're not up for drastic life changes, try drowning out the voices in your head with something. do whatever it takes to let your mind slow down. some people have luck with breathing exercises, or white noise. I listen (in the dark) to audio: http://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/s1kgl/lpt_rest_for_the_weary_my_sleeping_fix/" ]

[ 734, 85, 32, 30, 11, 6, 5, 5, 5, 5, 4, 3, 3, 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, -1, -1, -2 ]

[ "Getting Rid of Fruit Flies Long story short, there's fruit flies in my apartment which originated from the kitchen since my roommate doesn't take out garbage when I'm not around...\n\nI tried using the 2L bottle method by removing and inverting the top, then adding juice in. However, all the fruit flies just stay at the rim and never go in.\n\nAny help would be great, as the fruit flies already seem to be leaving the kitchen area...", "Getting Rid of Fruit Flies Long story short, there's fruit flies in my apartment which originated from the kitchen since my roommate doesn't take out garbage when I'm not around...\n\nI tried using the 2L bottle method by removing and inverting the top, then adding juice in. However, all the fruit flies just stay at the rim and never go in.\n\nAny help would be great, as the fruit flies already seem to be leaving the kitchen area...", "Getting Rid of Fruit Flies Long story short, there's fruit flies in my apartment which originated from the kitchen since my roommate doesn't take out garbage when I'm not around...\n\nI tried using the 2L bottle method by removing and inverting the top, then adding juice in. However, all the fruit flies just stay at the rim and never go in.\n\nAny help would be great, as the fruit flies already seem to be leaving the kitchen area...", "Getting Rid of Fruit Flies Long story short, there's fruit flies in my apartment which originated from the kitchen since my roommate doesn't take out garbage when I'm not around...\n\nI tried using the 2L bottle method by removing and inverting the top, then adding juice in. However, all the fruit flies just stay at the rim and never go in.\n\nAny help would be great, as the fruit flies already seem to be leaving the kitchen area..." ]

[ "There are about 50 different methods. The only one I've had luck with is apple cider vinegar in a bottle covered in a piece of tape with a hole poked in it. You also have to make sure you get rid of the food source and breading ground or the problem will never go away. ", "Vacuum with a hose. Be patient.. you'll get some and the rest'll fly away. However, they usually have favorite spots they like to sit. Wait for them to come back. They're probably in the garbage, which you should shake around to get them to fly out to suck up.\n\nYou'll get most of them that way. Obviously then you'll want to still do the trap methods.", "It's all about hygiene and cleanliness.\n\nKeep your food sealed and out of open air environments, get a lid for your garbage can and change the bag regularly, and the fruit flies will eventually die out in the environment due to lack of food.", "Go to the local convenience store. Get yourself a bottle of \"bum wine\" -- MD 20/20 or something comparable. Should be about $3.49 for 750 ml. Open the bottle and leave it out in the kitchen. Go away for a while. When you come back, the fruit flies will be in the wine, dead." ]

[ 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to motivate myself to barrel through school work I am really enjoying the life that my college has to offer, and I am passionate about my major. On some nights I find myself studying and doing work for hours on end. While this is productive, I feel like I have become extremely inefficient in my study habits and work. I guess because I have become mentally drained, and in turn I have lost some motivation. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.", "How to motivate myself to barrel through school work I am really enjoying the life that my college has to offer, and I am passionate about my major. On some nights I find myself studying and doing work for hours on end. While this is productive, I feel like I have become extremely inefficient in my study habits and work. I guess because I have become mentally drained, and in turn I have lost some motivation. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.", "How to motivate myself to barrel through school work I am really enjoying the life that my college has to offer, and I am passionate about my major. On some nights I find myself studying and doing work for hours on end. While this is productive, I feel like I have become extremely inefficient in my study habits and work. I guess because I have become mentally drained, and in turn I have lost some motivation. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.", "How to motivate myself to barrel through school work I am really enjoying the life that my college has to offer, and I am passionate about my major. On some nights I find myself studying and doing work for hours on end. While this is productive, I feel like I have become extremely inefficient in my study habits and work. I guess because I have become mentally drained, and in turn I have lost some motivation. Any insight would be greatly appreciated." ]

[ "Work hard, play hard.\n\nI'm a procrastinator, and was a bad student at times. I would try hard at first and start out well, and then midway through I'd stop finishing my work. I think I'd just lose motivation.\n\nI found out that I did the best when I went out more to parties etc, you have to have balance. A few of my study-friends and I would go to happy hour after a big exam and jokingly try to \"forget what we learned\". Take pride in your work, do it well, look at it when it's completed. Then, go make sure to have a good time. You won't have good morale if all you feel like you do is work, and then you'll fail. ", "The drain you're feeling means your productivity is probably already affected. Burning like that works - is even quite effective - for short terms like a week or two at a time. It's great for completing projects, but terrible as an everyday go-to. It's a great high even, but it's not a work plan. After about a month, tops, your productivity starts tanking. And then you have to work more just to get the same amount done. It burns you out. You need to start managing your focus instead of forcing it. \n\nSet a few small goals per study/work session. For example, an hour of good studying or half of a regular assignment. Upon completion, reward yourself with a short break, like 10 min. Ideally do something you enjoy and is relaxing, but also keeps your mind engaged, like a puzzle game or reading light fiction. Not something that gets your adrenaline pumping. It will give your brain a kind of break in the areas you've been using, but your mind will stay revved enough in the right way that transition time back to work is low. Transitioning back will feel awkward at first, but adjusts to comfortable within days. \n\nAt first, doing this will take more time than before because you're still adjusting and you've not recovered any productivity yet. Be patient. After a week of doing it regularly, you'll start feeling the difference and the time investment will start closing in to what you are using now. After two weeks, you'll find yourself working faster or better or both and feeling less drained as well. As you get more efficient, do not extend breaks or add work time. But, use the extra time in a single block - before or after study/work - and do something different and engaging in a different way. This could be exercise or hanging with friends or volunteering or whatever. But not studying and not whatever you use for your breaks, and try to avoid drama. Diversity in activities will keep your motivation fresh when you go back to study/work. \n\nYou'll have to customize the goals and breaks to fit your particular tolerance and circumstances. You want goals that you can complete just as you start feeling the point coming where you will have to start pushing to focus. If you are having trouble focusing (on something you normally do not have such trouble), you're burning. You want to avoid that until you actually need it. And, when you need it, you want it at full power and productivity, not already barely functional because you do this all the time. ", "When I lose motivation to do study work or to do it efficiently, I think about what it will mean when I complete my degree and graduate. In my case it means teaching in early childhood and being much closer to going overseas. It helps me to see the assignments as steps towards that endgame goal. Seems to work for me.", "Study smarter, not harder.\n\nI always try to remember this when I'm faced with monumental workloads. It's not doing you any good if you aim to read, highlight, notetake, summarise thoroughly on every single resource/article/chapter. Of course we'd all love to do this but it can be impossible because, well, we're humans not supercomputers.\n\nStart every study session with knowing what you want to achieve at the end of that session. Set a goal (or a couple of little ones) which you should complete at the end of the session. This narrows down your concentration to be able to finish the tasks you want and doesn't leave you feeling like you've done hours worth of work with nothing to show for it. You want to be able to maximise the amount of actual *learning* you're doing, within the smallest amount of time - no one really wants to spend 6 hours learning a concept which could have really been tackled in 2 hours.\n\nThe moment you find your concentration waning, try try try again to keep on task. If nothing's working and you find yourself feeling mentally drained, it's usually a good idea to take a break. A little bit of exercise can get blood pumping to the brain (for instance just doing the 7 minute exercises) which will most likely get you to refocus without leaving you tired (like going out for a 40 minute run)." ]

[ 3, 3, 2, 2 ]

[ "How to eliminate itchiness from an itchy t-shirt? Yesterday I was wearing a black t shirt that was from a previous wash. In our household, our maid does the laundry. The next day, from the second wash I wore a t-shirt I'd always worn for 3 years without itchiness and it suddenly started itching all over my body. The day after that (today), I wore a second t shirt that I've worn for a few years, and it also started itching. \n\nI'm guessing this might be too much detergent? And now that this shirt is itchy, unfortunately I don't have an alternative. How do I make it stop itching without washing it again or making it wet?\n\nAnd finally: should I itch? In this case, will it help or hurt?\n\n\n", "How to eliminate itchiness from an itchy t-shirt? Yesterday I was wearing a black t shirt that was from a previous wash. In our household, our maid does the laundry. The next day, from the second wash I wore a t-shirt I'd always worn for 3 years without itchiness and it suddenly started itching all over my body. The day after that (today), I wore a second t shirt that I've worn for a few years, and it also started itching. \n\nI'm guessing this might be too much detergent? And now that this shirt is itchy, unfortunately I don't have an alternative. How do I make it stop itching without washing it again or making it wet?\n\nAnd finally: should I itch? In this case, will it help or hurt?\n\n\n", "How to eliminate itchiness from an itchy t-shirt? Yesterday I was wearing a black t shirt that was from a previous wash. In our household, our maid does the laundry. The next day, from the second wash I wore a t-shirt I'd always worn for 3 years without itchiness and it suddenly started itching all over my body. The day after that (today), I wore a second t shirt that I've worn for a few years, and it also started itching. \n\nI'm guessing this might be too much detergent? And now that this shirt is itchy, unfortunately I don't have an alternative. How do I make it stop itching without washing it again or making it wet?\n\nAnd finally: should I itch? In this case, will it help or hurt?\n\n\n", "How to eliminate itchiness from an itchy t-shirt? Yesterday I was wearing a black t shirt that was from a previous wash. In our household, our maid does the laundry. The next day, from the second wash I wore a t-shirt I'd always worn for 3 years without itchiness and it suddenly started itching all over my body. The day after that (today), I wore a second t shirt that I've worn for a few years, and it also started itching. \n\nI'm guessing this might be too much detergent? And now that this shirt is itchy, unfortunately I don't have an alternative. How do I make it stop itching without washing it again or making it wet?\n\nAnd finally: should I itch? In this case, will it help or hurt?\n\n\n" ]

[ "Did your maid switch laundry detergent for a different brand recently? \n\nI get itchy from a lot of detergents, I have to use the ones that are free of dyes and perfumes. \n\nMight want her to try that for awhile and see if that helps. ", "Vaguely remember a previous post about making certain fabrics feel softer by soaking in salt. Pretty sure it was on LPT. Not 100% what you're asking, but still cool.", "Too much soap, and/or fabric softener might be the issue. More is not better. Even dryer sheets can irritate skin.\n\n\"How do I make it stop itching without washing it again or making it wet?\"\n\nYou have clothing that is now irritating to the skin - You think somebody has a magic solution - Run a rinse cycle FFS!", "I'd guess the detergent used has been changed and you're allergic to the new one. I have quite sensitive skin and that used to happen to me when I was little if my clothes got washed in the wrong stuff. " ]

[ 4, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to shop jewelry for your significant other I wanna buy my girlfriend an Alex and Ani bracelet (she really likes them) but I have NO idea what she would like. So, how does one accurately choose what kind of jewelry to pick? Do you need to think about what matches what outfit? Does it have to fit a personality? What do I do?", "How to shop jewelry for your significant other I wanna buy my girlfriend an Alex and Ani bracelet (she really likes them) but I have NO idea what she would like. So, how does one accurately choose what kind of jewelry to pick? Do you need to think about what matches what outfit? Does it have to fit a personality? What do I do?", "How to shop jewelry for your significant other I wanna buy my girlfriend an Alex and Ani bracelet (she really likes them) but I have NO idea what she would like. So, how does one accurately choose what kind of jewelry to pick? Do you need to think about what matches what outfit? Does it have to fit a personality? What do I do?", "How to shop jewelry for your significant other I wanna buy my girlfriend an Alex and Ani bracelet (she really likes them) but I have NO idea what she would like. So, how does one accurately choose what kind of jewelry to pick? Do you need to think about what matches what outfit? Does it have to fit a personality? What do I do?", "How to shop jewelry for your significant other I wanna buy my girlfriend an Alex and Ani bracelet (she really likes them) but I have NO idea what she would like. So, how does one accurately choose what kind of jewelry to pick? Do you need to think about what matches what outfit? Does it have to fit a personality? What do I do?", "How to shop jewelry for your significant other I wanna buy my girlfriend an Alex and Ani bracelet (she really likes them) but I have NO idea what she would like. So, how does one accurately choose what kind of jewelry to pick? Do you need to think about what matches what outfit? Does it have to fit a personality? What do I do?", "How to shop jewelry for your significant other I wanna buy my girlfriend an Alex and Ani bracelet (she really likes them) but I have NO idea what she would like. So, how does one accurately choose what kind of jewelry to pick? Do you need to think about what matches what outfit? Does it have to fit a personality? What do I do?" ]

[ "Subscribe online for their catalogue and when it arrives go thought it together. Or put it in the bathroom and maybe she'll call it out. I do this.. Every time that Tiffany's catalogue is sent. It has only worked once but you seem more in tune and I'm already a wife lol. \n\nPs when buying a special token of your love don't buy cubic zirconia. That = fake and it might be construed as you don't value the relationship enough to invest in the real thing. If you cannot afford diamonds then opt for semi precious stones namely her birthstone, unless of course she was born in April. ", "If you already know she likes the brand, I wouldn't worry too much. Try to figure out if she prefers silver- or gold-colored jewelry by looking at what other jewelry she has. If it has gemstones, pick something that has her birthstone or is her favorite color. Failing that, just get something you think looks nice, she'll most likely love it no matter what it is. Don't get something big or gaudy unless you know she has other pieces like it that she wears often.\n\nAlso: Get cubic zirconia or another substitute instead of diamond if you are ever tempted to buy diamond jewelry. It's prettier and cheaper and less likely to have directly caused the deaths of children in Sierra Leone or some shit (all diamonds, except brown and pink ones from Australia, are owned by De Beers and as such are overpriced and of dubious origin). No one will know the difference between mined diamonds and grown diamonds except a jeweler or a geologist with a magnifying glass. Don't believe the marketing bullshit about diamonds.", "Look through her jewelry and see what she likes. If you're shopping in store, you can take photos with you so the salespeople can help you. Also note gold vs silver vs white gold.", "I manage a jewellery store, and I always feel for guys when they seem out of their depth. Here's some things that really help the salesperson with finding suitable suggestions:\n\nFirst up, find out if her ears are pierced! It sounds silly, but I have a lot of customers that don't know, especially when the relationship is new! Also, her birthdate, for birthstones.\n\nTake one of her rings with you so you can get the right size first time, or trace around the INSIDE of a ring band if you can't steal it away, and take that with you. We can place a ring over the trace to find the size, if the salesperson regards your circle with confusion explain the reason you've brought it in! Once you find out the size, write it on a card to keep in your wallet for future reference. Remember that your dominant hand is usually a size larger for each finger as it is more developed, and ring size may change as a result of weight gain/loss.\n\nSimilar for bracelets - different lengths for different wrists. If you can, measure it! My partner once bought me a bracelet that was too small and I felt quite embarrassed (I was very sensitive about my weight at that time and while I didn't show how I was feeling to him, I felt extra ashamed that not only was I fat, I was too fat to wear the beautiful gift he had given me and would appear ungrateful). If she has large hands, like me (I'm five-eleven and have rather large hands and feet), and you want to get a bangle, get one with a hinge and safety chain! (And there is a difference between bracelets and bangles).\n\nPay attention to her current style - is she wearing big flashy earrings or simple studs? Plain silver or gold filigree? Bling or basic? Statement rings or subtle pieces? By knowing that she prefers studs, for example, you'll know to stay away from chandelier style earrings. \n\nCheck her jewellery collection to see if she has an incomplete set, eg a necklace but no matched earrings or bracelet, then take a photo of the item with your phone to show the salesperson.\n\nCheck with the store if you can return the item if she doesn't love it, especially if you can return earrings if they're not the right choice - some places will, some won't. Also ask about warranty, repairs, resizing.\n\nFind out what quality the metal is and whether your partner has any allergies or sensitivities - a LOT of people are allergic to nickel and have reactions to plated metals, a colleague of mine can only wear fine silver or 24 karat gold due to sensitivities.\n\nMake a note of what colours are dominant in her wardrobe so she can wear it with more outfits if it's a fashion piece and not something like an engagement ring - the shambala style that is popular at present comes in so many colours that you should easily be able to find something to compliment her favourite dress or handbag.\n\nFOR THE LOVE OF GOD KEEP THE RECEIPT! In case it needs to be returned, exchanged, repaired, resized, etc. If it's a thermal docket, make a photocopy as they fade over time.\n\nIf I think of anything else I'll update, best of luck!", "First of all, that is really sweet! :)\n\nAs a girl myself, when a man is considering buying jewelry/clothing/etc for a woman it is super helpful to consult one of her good friends. They will know her style and will keep it a secret so that her friend can be pleasantly surprised.", "Does it have to be a surprise? I think some would prefer to pick it themselves. Take her along with you to the store.", "Bravo for you. Both for wanting to give jewelry to your lady (without her asking) and for asking how to do it right. " ]

[ 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to be okay with getting in trouble I don't mean this in a way that I can justify doing bad/illegal things. My whole life I have absolutely hated getting in trouble, even if it's the smallest, most insignificant thing. Recently I was briefly scolded for looking at social media in class and it sent me into a week-long depression and made me an unmotivated, emotional mess. This made we wonder what it is about me that makes me so affected by getting in trouble. I can remember almost every time I've ever gotten in trouble in school, because it has such a big impact on me. Is anyone else the same and has ways to cope with this? Thank you!\n\n", "How to be okay with getting in trouble I don't mean this in a way that I can justify doing bad/illegal things. My whole life I have absolutely hated getting in trouble, even if it's the smallest, most insignificant thing. Recently I was briefly scolded for looking at social media in class and it sent me into a week-long depression and made me an unmotivated, emotional mess. This made we wonder what it is about me that makes me so affected by getting in trouble. I can remember almost every time I've ever gotten in trouble in school, because it has such a big impact on me. Is anyone else the same and has ways to cope with this? Thank you!\n\n", "How to be okay with getting in trouble I don't mean this in a way that I can justify doing bad/illegal things. My whole life I have absolutely hated getting in trouble, even if it's the smallest, most insignificant thing. Recently I was briefly scolded for looking at social media in class and it sent me into a week-long depression and made me an unmotivated, emotional mess. This made we wonder what it is about me that makes me so affected by getting in trouble. I can remember almost every time I've ever gotten in trouble in school, because it has such a big impact on me. Is anyone else the same and has ways to cope with this? Thank you!\n\n", "How to be okay with getting in trouble I don't mean this in a way that I can justify doing bad/illegal things. My whole life I have absolutely hated getting in trouble, even if it's the smallest, most insignificant thing. Recently I was briefly scolded for looking at social media in class and it sent me into a week-long depression and made me an unmotivated, emotional mess. This made we wonder what it is about me that makes me so affected by getting in trouble. I can remember almost every time I've ever gotten in trouble in school, because it has such a big impact on me. Is anyone else the same and has ways to cope with this? Thank you!\n\n", "How to be okay with getting in trouble I don't mean this in a way that I can justify doing bad/illegal things. My whole life I have absolutely hated getting in trouble, even if it's the smallest, most insignificant thing. Recently I was briefly scolded for looking at social media in class and it sent me into a week-long depression and made me an unmotivated, emotional mess. This made we wonder what it is about me that makes me so affected by getting in trouble. I can remember almost every time I've ever gotten in trouble in school, because it has such a big impact on me. Is anyone else the same and has ways to cope with this? Thank you!\n\n", "How to be okay with getting in trouble I don't mean this in a way that I can justify doing bad/illegal things. My whole life I have absolutely hated getting in trouble, even if it's the smallest, most insignificant thing. Recently I was briefly scolded for looking at social media in class and it sent me into a week-long depression and made me an unmotivated, emotional mess. This made we wonder what it is about me that makes me so affected by getting in trouble. I can remember almost every time I've ever gotten in trouble in school, because it has such a big impact on me. Is anyone else the same and has ways to cope with this? Thank you!\n\n", "How to be okay with getting in trouble I don't mean this in a way that I can justify doing bad/illegal things. My whole life I have absolutely hated getting in trouble, even if it's the smallest, most insignificant thing. Recently I was briefly scolded for looking at social media in class and it sent me into a week-long depression and made me an unmotivated, emotional mess. This made we wonder what it is about me that makes me so affected by getting in trouble. I can remember almost every time I've ever gotten in trouble in school, because it has such a big impact on me. Is anyone else the same and has ways to cope with this? Thank you!\n\n", "How to be okay with getting in trouble I don't mean this in a way that I can justify doing bad/illegal things. My whole life I have absolutely hated getting in trouble, even if it's the smallest, most insignificant thing. Recently I was briefly scolded for looking at social media in class and it sent me into a week-long depression and made me an unmotivated, emotional mess. This made we wonder what it is about me that makes me so affected by getting in trouble. I can remember almost every time I've ever gotten in trouble in school, because it has such a big impact on me. Is anyone else the same and has ways to cope with this? Thank you!\n\n", "How to be okay with getting in trouble I don't mean this in a way that I can justify doing bad/illegal things. My whole life I have absolutely hated getting in trouble, even if it's the smallest, most insignificant thing. Recently I was briefly scolded for looking at social media in class and it sent me into a week-long depression and made me an unmotivated, emotional mess. This made we wonder what it is about me that makes me so affected by getting in trouble. I can remember almost every time I've ever gotten in trouble in school, because it has such a big impact on me. Is anyone else the same and has ways to cope with this? Thank you!\n\n", "How to be okay with getting in trouble I don't mean this in a way that I can justify doing bad/illegal things. My whole life I have absolutely hated getting in trouble, even if it's the smallest, most insignificant thing. Recently I was briefly scolded for looking at social media in class and it sent me into a week-long depression and made me an unmotivated, emotional mess. This made we wonder what it is about me that makes me so affected by getting in trouble. I can remember almost every time I've ever gotten in trouble in school, because it has such a big impact on me. Is anyone else the same and has ways to cope with this? Thank you!\n\n", "How to be okay with getting in trouble I don't mean this in a way that I can justify doing bad/illegal things. My whole life I have absolutely hated getting in trouble, even if it's the smallest, most insignificant thing. Recently I was briefly scolded for looking at social media in class and it sent me into a week-long depression and made me an unmotivated, emotional mess. This made we wonder what it is about me that makes me so affected by getting in trouble. I can remember almost every time I've ever gotten in trouble in school, because it has such a big impact on me. Is anyone else the same and has ways to cope with this? Thank you!\n\n" ]

[ "Coping game: break a rule on purpose and observe how it works for you. Then laugh it off. This can help your body and mind learn that it's not life and death (that's the chemical reaction you're feeling in your gut and brain).\n\nTry littering. Tear off the corner of a piece of paper. Walk in public. Drop it and don't look back. Notice where in your body the chemicals appear and notice that you didn't die. Even if a mall cop comes up to tell you to pick up the litter, you didn't die. Don't forget to breathe! You want the energy in your body to settle. You want the action of not littering to be your choice, rather than a fear-induced behavior. Laugh, breathe, and walk until your energy has settled. \n\nYou need this skill (controlling your emotional energy, not litterbug skills ;-). Start practicing it. ", "I can still vividly remember times i messed up and felt it in my gut. Truth is we all make mistakes. We learn from them. And if it's affecting you so much - it means you care. Good. If you don't care you won't learn. \n\nTo overcome the constant reminder of depression keep your head up. Next week, next month you will mess up at something again no doubt. It's totally cool. Keep your mind on the positive, learn from mistakes, and do more to make positive effects on other people too- it'll help you feel better.\n\nHope that helps. And good luck. Keep your head up. Life is a learning experience. You're doing great!", "Think of it from where they're at. To them you're a person too. You don't sound like the type to be a nuisance to authority, they just see that you haven't yet understood what is and isn't acceptable in a given situation. It's not a punishment, it's a correction. If there are consequences, they're only administered to help you progress, or to show you the gravity of a mistake.", "My sister is like this. And I'm one of the kids that was always in trouble. I always found it interesting that she worried so much about it. My thought was always that it was almost like buying something. I looked at what I was going to do, looked at what I thought the trouble for it was going to be, and made a choice if it was worth it.\n\nSometimes you don't have a choice, like you don't know what your doing is going to get you into trouble. But then your just paying for the knowledge. Or sometimes you get more or less than you expect. But it's just like buying stuff, sometimes you get a deal and sometimes ripped off. It actually taught me a lot about risk vs reward, and almost always felt fair.\n\nBut the down side is that if you are forced to deal with an erratic authority figure it can feel like crap. Something like a drunk parent means you have a much harder time figuring out what you'll be \"charged\". I'm guessing this might be the case for you, and probably the reason you have stress about it? (it was for my sis and I) Realizing that this person is just not who you need to learn your life lessons from helps some, but it's difficult to separate what you feel and what you know. : /", ">*Recently I was briefly scolded for looking at social media in class and it sent me into a week-long depression and made me an unmotivated, emotional mess. This made we wonder what it is about me that makes me so affected by getting in trouble.*\n.\n\nBelieve it or not, there is a biological and chemical reason behind all this.\n\nSociology teaches us that man is a herd animal, separation from the group is frustrating. He prefers the company and security of small groups as that where one gets their needs met. Being separated from the group reduces the amount of neurotransmitters in the brain, neurotransmitters that make us happy and function better in social situations/getting our respective needs met.\n\nPsychology teaches us that people prefer dyads, two people that mutually prefer one another, like two close friends or a partnership for potential mating. However these two being separated also causes the same depressive symptoms. We socialize in small groups to find our potential friends and dyads.\n\nEveryone is looking for a potential mate or the group(s) they belong too, even if they are not they are. It's because people are always looking to make their dyad and be happier, get their social/needs met so they feel better and the neurotransmitters flow.\n\nSo by being scolded, your demeaned in front of others (the worst kind), your opportunity to find your dyad diminished and thus your neurotransmitter amount is dropped, making you gloom. It's by this means that leaders in the group learn to control others.\n\nEveryone in a group has a function, even if they don't realize it. There are leaders, potential leaders, clowns who relieve frustration, helpers and others who play a role in the group so it survives. Those who are a liability and not dependent are often ostracized (cast out) of the group and this is the worst kind of rejection.\n\nNow it's actually a good thing to be little gloom after being scolded, it's so your able to be taught and learn what society, the groups you participate in and where you work and live can basically control your behavior so your not a threat. If you are a threat then they want to get rid of you. \n\nHowever you shouldn't remain gloom for long, as soon as the scolding begins you should realize what it is, admit you screwed up and return to what is expected in your behavior. \"You made a mistake\" and or didn't know what was expected of you and now you plan not to be a problem and not repeat the same error again.\n\nMost people learn to do this and only have to be told once, it's those who repeatedly violate the social norms or rules that really get a major scolding or what they do in the military, punish everyone else but you so now the group is out to get you.\n\nLike I said before, scolding shouldn't bother you for a long time, it's likely you have a serious habit (your smartphone) that is very distracting from what the teacher is trying to educate you with. This is a very large problem in schools, where many have required smartphones to be turned off or otherwise during classes. Of course Faraday Caging the rooms would be extremely effective, of course if there is an emergency then that would be a big problem, so you see the dilemma. \n\nThink of living in society as a game of challenge, see how far and how long you can go without being scolded, not get a traffic ticket or violate any laws. Learn to play the game, otherwise if you don't what happens is you is eventually winding up in a place where you have nothing but walls and bars in front of you until you learn that all important lesson, to accept direction. They certainly will teach you that there as they will have control over your food, your sleep cycle, your clothes, your heath and everything else.\n\nYou are not special, your just another person in the world that has to conform to societies norms so there isn't mass chaos. They try to teach this in schools, but if you don't learn then there is always prison gladiator schools and the military.\n\nLearn to conquer your own habits or they will conquer and control you.\n\nEat better, watch your nutrition carefully, take daily multivitamins as your neurotransmitters are created by your body and they can't do that if you don't put the fuel in the tank.\n\nIf your still having problems, then see a doctor.", "watch Bill Burr Monday Morning Podcast. He jokes about the troubles he gets in. It eases your difficulties as you learn to chill out a problem you are in. It helped me.Give it a try\n\nhttps://soundcloud.com/themonday-morning-podcast\nhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXUjPDtQJ9mq1SbPgiyNyoA", "You might have narcissistic parents who raised you in such away that this is how you think you're supposed to react. I have similar problems to that. You just have to tell yourself that it doesn't actually matter in the long run. Maybe ask yourself if this will matter in 20 years or 10 or even a month. If it won't then try not to sweat it.", "Well, I used to get into trouble all the time, because I was careless and easily distracted. I got used to it pretty fast. The little things like scolding because I didn't submit stuff in time, procrastinating my homework, talking to the other kids in class (I was always first in my class though). Now, in college, I often get in trouble like getting serious about a deadline on a day before. But, I'm used to it and I know it doesn't matter. And usually when I'm with one more person in that hole, I am way more relaxed because he's freaking out a lot more than I do.\n\nYou should care very little about things like this, because they means nothing. There are times when you should worry like when a family member gets really sick that puts things like this in its place.", "Recognize that you are a human being, and every human being makes mistakes. You can't possibly expect yourself to be perfect all the time; some mistake was going to happen eventually, and this is that eventually. Tell yourself that as long as you learn from this mistake, and use the experience to better yourself for next time, there is no reason to be upset about it. \n\nYou can do it! Good luck OP, and anyone else who happens to read this. :)", "Maybe your teachers would mind less if you read a different educational book in class when they are boring you, like a math book or something, instead of social media.", "Dude smoke some weed man. That's how I got cool with life. I'm not joking either, I used to be very depressed and unmotivated like EVERYBODY was on my back for EVERYTHING I did or didn't do, like i couldn't live my own life because I was being checked by everybody else. \n\nThen I smoked weed, and started to think in a broader manner, started to look at society as it is, saw that people who try to boss others mostly have no idea of what they are doing in life. I don't blame them, years along the line i've realised that globabally, we don't have an effing clue. The majority of people in this world are stupid, mindless (mind-controlled by the media) zombies who can't think for themselves (so they need governments, bosses, media, anybody to tell them what to do, so they feel 'authoritized' in life).\n\nWhen i smoked weed my depression went away, as i realized it wasn't me that was the problem but almost the entire world surrounding me. (or specifically: humanity on earth. Earth is great, Humans are assholes)\n\nThink about it, McDonalds kills cows for a living. Humans farm living animals because they are too stupid to live without. Instead of living healthy humanity chose to commercialize their sins! \n\nThey think by putting KFC and BURGER KING commercials on the TV 24/7 that that justifies such evil?\n\nRealizing such things brought me into a state of mind that really does work for me. I used to get depressed and anxious when i got into trouble, but now when people give me trouble, I just go FUCK YOU you're a slave to society who has no right to tell me how to live MY life. \n\nThe thing is, you don't put up with their shit. Once they realize you KNOW what you are doing with YOUR life, they will feel inferior. They'll try to pick and snide at you and get you into trouble (to make themselves feel better) but when you tell them why you're right about the things you're right about, they'll back off. They might even respect you for it.\n\nPoint is when you're innocent then NOBODY has the right to give you trouble about it. When you're HONEST well then you're doing better than 98% of our civilization. \n\nNext time people give you trouble for example littering you tell them about the more serious problems in the world and ask them what they've done to help. Tell them about how you live your life and if you start to cry or shout while telling them that then you let that happen. You'll be strong for it. Be brave and self confident, believe in yourself. Your actions affect the world around you and your impact on the world is bigger than you think. You could punch anybody in the face and they would be scared of you. Do you comprehend? Don't be afraid of interaction is what i'm trying to get across. You're doing nothing wrong by living your life as long as you do not harm others on purpose. When other people are out of line you can have the confidence to address their behavior. \n\nI used to be like you, I can see it in your writing style. Now i'm the kind of guy that would step in to a fight to help another citizen. I'm the guy that calls police when there's a problem in my neighbourhood or anywhere i travel. \n\nThing is i'm doing my best to survive. And still there are people who think they can boss me, or tell me i'm not making the right choices by not going to work while sick. I tell those people i'm sorry but you've got to be a bit of a whackjob to think somebody should go to work with diarrhea and also laughed at the idea. \n\nKind of busted the implication that i was doing anything wrong by not going to work with unstable bowel movements.\n\nWhen you can give them a reason (a real reason that you stand by) why what you are doing is good, and that reason is hard to argue with, then essentially you take away their ammo for giving you trouble, because you'd have asserted that you were doing good and deserve no trouble but rather assistance or compliance.\n\nIdk, i hope this helps. If the advice doesn't help, just smoke some weed man. Just don't get hooked. Manage an occasional break like once a month in the weekend kind of thing. It helps you think outside of the cage that has been imposed by monarchs and politicians. Trust me the entire government is globally INSANE so you are doing nothing wrong by co-existing. They are the ones who should be in trouble for killing all of our animals on the planet and enslaving their babies for forced breeding. Its a sick perverted and evil society that we live in so you do good in life and set the good example and fuck the people off who tell you that your good example isn't good enough. Those people need a reality check and a good look in the mirror. \n\nthe_buttler: you're aweseome! For posting this on the internet which seems so pointless yet i'm hoping my response can really help you. I'm 24 now, and had anxiety from 13 to 16-17 and like the first half of my 18th year on Earth. All my depressions stopped completely after 18 when I was smoking weed daily (which i'm not too proud of). I noticed when i was 16 (i started smoking weed @ 16 years of age), that the weed was helping me battle the worst kinds of depression. I was contemplating suicide at 13 and am glad i was in an extremely dissasociative state (no belief in ones own existence) otherwise I probably would have followed through. Now i am older i stand a chance in battling this worlds evils instead of suffering into depression by the thought of such 'truths'. America. Please stop capitalizing on animal life.\n\nNew Zealand only recently declared all animals as 'sentient beings'. As in, officially recognized as such.\n\nSo i started smoking weed when i was 16. It took the edge off of things, which for me, was a very painful edge. I don't know if depression is a physical pain or a mental pain, but I do know that a person who is depressed is also in pain. \n\nPoint is, it's not you who's wrong. It's 98% of the entire civilization. So feel proud of your own actions! Because you can control your actions! You can decide the reason for anything you do and when you are behaving just and true, honest and fair, then you are behaving right and those that tell you otherwise are WRONG. (and you can tell them why they are wrong when that conversation arises)\n\nSo yeah, I recommend consuming weed to counter depression and ANXIETY (helps a LOT against anxiety unless you use too much). I got myself hooked (smoking marijuana daily) and i don't recommend daily usage at all. Idk man i went to a festival and smoked 3 days back to back and that habit just stuck. Good news is that i've never seen a bout of depression again or for at least 5 years. Instead of feeling depressed about for example the meat industry nowadays it makes me mad and want to do something about it.\n\nNother thing i want to add. I didn't do good in school until my last year of high-school which was when i started smoking weed frequently (like weekly). That last year of school i was so MOTIVATED and doing homework and interested in school. I mean i went from future drop-out to teachers pet. I was talking with teachers not NERVOUS to ask them QUESTIONS. \"\"no I have a question that needs answering. S/he is a teacher so I am going to ask the teacher to help me answer this question\"\"\n\nbooom problem solved efficient and direct. I used to feel terrible having to ask questions like that in class. Since the weed it was like, i didn't even know why i was making myself sweat so much\n\nso maybe that's some good advice: go easy for yourself\nallow yourself to make mistakes, you're human! I made a lot of mistakes in life, you don't have to always do the best thing all the time. Time is infinite so give yourself some breathing space to relax. Also be nice to family you will miss them immensely later on in life.\n\nif ur not up to trying weed then follow all my other advice. I tried to write this so you'd be able to read advice that might help you with finding that confidence to live your life with your own authority. Remember, just because you're not a state-enlisted police officer with an industry made badge, doesn't mean you have no authority. Think about it this way: you are the author of your own life, you have been given (by your mother and father) the power to live your life and influence this reality. Your mother and father gave you that gift and it is yours to use it as you see fit. As long as you don't harm others you are more than entitled to use that power, because it is yours! It might sound like a bit freedom fighter idealism but that's what this is. We're living in a world run by slaves who are oblivious to their own enslavement. They think because they are paid that they are being compensated when in reality they are merely being distracted from the bigger picture.\n\n1/2" ]

[ 12, 8, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!", "Moving out Hi all! \n\nIn September this year, I'll be moving out for the first time. I like to think I'm quite organised, and good at reading all kinds of top tips online, but who better to ask than you lot?!\n\nCurrently I have plans to Freecycle furniture and stuff, but there's still loads of stuff I'm not sure on - as simple as finding an energy provider, paying bills etc. Basically I'm looking for the LPT Moving Out Masterclass! \n\nSo, what are the top things I should know about moving out, and living away from home for the first time? The stuff you don't get taught at school and such! \n\nThanks so much in advance!" ]

[ "Do NOT buy secondhand upholstered furniture or mattresses. Buy only new mattresses, and only take hand-me-down upholstered furniture from owners you know were scrupulously clean. A world of nightmare can be hiding in a secondhand mattress or sofa.", "make the first box you pack an “overnight box” because typically moving take a huge toll and if you don’t plan on unpacking the same day you won’t wanna rifle through a hundred boxes to find a towel, phone charger, or medications (for example) when u need it.", "it’s a lot easier to get stuff than to get rid of it. be a little picky and only add things that you truly like and have a purpose. you have the rest of your life go stress about all the shit you wish you’d never acquired. this is your one chance to keep living simple.", "Make a list of all your bank and cr", "You don’t need a bunch of pots and pans. Best to get one really good 12” skillet rather than a cheap cookware set. here in the U.S. we have T.J. Maxx and Marshall’s discount stores where you can get a Calphalon nonstick skillet for about $30. I think in the UK it’s called TK Maxx.", "Figure out what light bulbs your light sources use and buy a few of those. Also a basic first-aid and tools kit like one that contains a screwdriver, etc.", "2 suggestions, 1) for a couple days, write down what you use like it was the last time you get to use it (netflix, console, cooking pan, toilet paper etc. Each time you use it, pick an extra tic mark for it. After a while, you'll actually see what you use a lot of and what you don't. Moving out can be expensive, so you won't have everything you are used to at first. Actually knowing what you use on a daily basis will help you prioritize what you get. Maybe you are a couch person, maybe you spend most of your time at a desk or a table. Everyone is different, so you need to figure out what are the core things you use. From there, you go into 2) what can you share/discount buy/find for free. The smaller things like family phone plans and going in on netflix may seem small, but if you have family yoi get along with or a friend you can split with, you can end up with a lot of savings for the value you get. When you first move out, do not overestimate the value of exploration. One of the things that seems to get overlooked when moving to a new place is the time it takes to explore. That can help reduce the initial entertainment budget and for someone just getting out into the world, it can show you interests that you may not even know you have.", "Join the Facebook group \"buy nothing [insert city name]\". You can only join the city you live in but people give away crazy amounts of stuff. You've got to be quick to get some of the good stuff but people give tons of furniture, tvs, kitchen goods, etc.", "When you do the physical move, put your essentials in a bum bag (I think Americans call them ‘fanny packs’?) and keep it round your waist at all times - phones, charger, ID, wallet, sets of keys. When you’ve finished using that item put it back in the bag, it will save you so much hassle of putting things down and losing them \n\nSource: I move location a lot and this has made my life easier", "This would have helped me a lot in the beginning of my on-my-own life:\n\nMake sure you have your rent money set before buying absolutely anything unnecessary. It helped me to not even think of it as part of my income so I wouldn’t get attached to it or start thinking I could afford things I couldn’t. I started by keeping an envelope and putting cash into it everytime I was paid until I had enough for rent; that way I never even saw it as part of my bank balance.\n\nEventually I didn’t have to do it that way anymore as I began trusting myself with money more and got better jobs, but it really helped in the beginning", "Heed my wisdom and save money!!! :) \n\n\\- Do not move yourself. I don't care how many friends with vans or utes that you have nothing can replace the experience of an actual removalist. Pony up the money for this. \n\n\\- Avoid buying most things until you actually move in (particularly large items like furniture, white goods and even homewares and art). You never know if it'll actually work or FIT in your new space. \n\n\\- The less stuff you have to move to better. If it means having to sleep on a fold out camping bed for a few days when you first move in, it's worth the discomfort. \n\n\\- Ask your family and friends that they no longer need. Many people will be happy to declutter and get rid of crap (My mum gave me an entire box of Tupperware because she had so much) \n\n\\- NEVER buy secondhand mattresses or couches. These are investments that you need to spend good money on buying new. \n\n\\- Invest in high quality bedding. A good quality quilt cover set can cost you $100+ but will last you a while. Also include a mattress protector and pillow protectors in your purchases. Also make sure you're changing and washing bedding frequently (especially if you have pets)! \n\n\\- When you first move in RESIST THE URGE TO FILL THE SPACE UP!!! Sometimes you'd see an empty spot and think \"OMG I have to have something there!\" Don't. You'll end up impulse buying crap and then it'll just end up as clutter. \n\n\\- Avoid IKEA, Kmart/Walmart, Target or any of the large department stores with super cheap homewares. You will buy so much crap that you THINK you need but then will waste time having to return it or (again) it'll up as clutter. The worst offenders: picture frames, candles, wall art, kitchen utensils. \n\n\\- Do not get sucked into thinking that the space has to be all perfect and done quickly so you can have a house warming party and show it off. It can takes months or even a year to get your home the way you want it \n\n\\- Being in your place for the first nights can be scary AF! You're not used to the environment and all the little noises will make you paranoid thinking someone is breaking in! Some people sleep with the tv on for the first week or so until their comfortable. \n\n\\- Totally agree with everyone here saying that you should learn to cook. Sure ordering Ubereats is super easy and kinda cool but it'll cost you a fortune in the long run. \n\n\\- Wash your dishes every single night before you go to bed. It's a fantastic habit to get into. You'll wake up with clutter free kitchen benches in the morning AND it's more sanitary.\n\n\\- Right from the start create a cleaning/tidy schedule for your house. It's much much easier to do a few mins of cleaning regularly then trying to do a big clean every month or so. And it'll be less stressful come rental inspection time. \n\nTry to habit stack small cleaning tasks to other activities (For example: Every time you wash your face, get a cloth and wipe down the mirror and the bench) \n\nI'm sure there's alot I'm forgetting but hopefully this'll get you started :)", "Also get an extra set of towels, bedding, and toiletries for unexpected guests: toothbrush, contact solution, soap, etc. Good luck!", "Also for your \"first night essentials\": a shower curtain!!!\n\nYou will want to freshen up between all the moving and unpacking, and most places don't come with a shower curtain.", "Prepare to buy all of your spices, cooking utensils, storage containers/bags/freezer bags, trash bags, toilet paper, and a small tool kit. \n\nTotally didn’t think of this stuff when I first moved out and didn’t factor it in to my budget. \n\nYou can also create a calendar reminder for all bills if you don’t trust auto-pay.", "Make sure you have band aids and rubbing alcohol. If you have extra money get a whole first aid kit. You never know if you might accidentally cut yourself on something and it's a huge pain to have to just try to wrap a paper towel around it" ]

[ 18, 15, 11, 7, 6, 6, 6, 5, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 2, 2 ]

[ "I wish I could keep as mentally sharp for the whole day as I am for the first hour of my morning. How can I achieve this? ", "I wish I could keep as mentally sharp for the whole day as I am for the first hour of my morning. How can I achieve this? ", "I wish I could keep as mentally sharp for the whole day as I am for the first hour of my morning. How can I achieve this? ", "I wish I could keep as mentally sharp for the whole day as I am for the first hour of my morning. How can I achieve this? " ]

[ "Get up every once in awhile and get your heart rate up. More heart rate is more blood flow to the brain. Or drink a shit load of coffee. ", "Water! When you drink water, the body distributes it to the body part that needs it the most. The brain is one of the organs that need/uses the most water. It's healthier than coffee and overall it's good for you. Your body will appreciate it and in return you will be able to retain maximum sharpness throughout your day.\n\nSource: my pcp ", "Opposite for me. I'm more concentrated and mentally active some hours later. Yea just drink a lot of coffee.", "Go for a quick routine jog. \n\nRecently started doing this and i feel confident and more awake to take on challenges" ]

[ 3, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "How to stop exageration when talking to people. Before you tell me I'm stupid, hear me out, then you can tell me I'm stupid. \n\nI am a very energetic person. I like to talk and tell stories. However, many many many people have called me out on this and they say I exaggerate too much. When I describe food or anything, I always make it seem more grandiose than it actually is. For example, I was talking with a coworker and we were talking about how people probably went days without eating back in the olden times and I responded, \"I can't even go to hours without eating!\" Without realizing what I said is preposterous. \n\nPeople don't believe me when I describe things anymore. It's becoming a problem. I don't even realize I'm exaggerating so much until after I've said it but it's too late then. I've been trying to be more aware when I'm in conversation but then that just ruins the flow of conversation for me. \n\nHow to i stop this?", "How to stop exageration when talking to people. Before you tell me I'm stupid, hear me out, then you can tell me I'm stupid. \n\nI am a very energetic person. I like to talk and tell stories. However, many many many people have called me out on this and they say I exaggerate too much. When I describe food or anything, I always make it seem more grandiose than it actually is. For example, I was talking with a coworker and we were talking about how people probably went days without eating back in the olden times and I responded, \"I can't even go to hours without eating!\" Without realizing what I said is preposterous. \n\nPeople don't believe me when I describe things anymore. It's becoming a problem. I don't even realize I'm exaggerating so much until after I've said it but it's too late then. I've been trying to be more aware when I'm in conversation but then that just ruins the flow of conversation for me. \n\nHow to i stop this?", "How to stop exageration when talking to people. Before you tell me I'm stupid, hear me out, then you can tell me I'm stupid. \n\nI am a very energetic person. I like to talk and tell stories. However, many many many people have called me out on this and they say I exaggerate too much. When I describe food or anything, I always make it seem more grandiose than it actually is. For example, I was talking with a coworker and we were talking about how people probably went days without eating back in the olden times and I responded, \"I can't even go to hours without eating!\" Without realizing what I said is preposterous. \n\nPeople don't believe me when I describe things anymore. It's becoming a problem. I don't even realize I'm exaggerating so much until after I've said it but it's too late then. I've been trying to be more aware when I'm in conversation but then that just ruins the flow of conversation for me. \n\nHow to i stop this?", "How to stop exageration when talking to people. Before you tell me I'm stupid, hear me out, then you can tell me I'm stupid. \n\nI am a very energetic person. I like to talk and tell stories. However, many many many people have called me out on this and they say I exaggerate too much. When I describe food or anything, I always make it seem more grandiose than it actually is. For example, I was talking with a coworker and we were talking about how people probably went days without eating back in the olden times and I responded, \"I can't even go to hours without eating!\" Without realizing what I said is preposterous. \n\nPeople don't believe me when I describe things anymore. It's becoming a problem. I don't even realize I'm exaggerating so much until after I've said it but it's too late then. I've been trying to be more aware when I'm in conversation but then that just ruins the flow of conversation for me. \n\nHow to i stop this?" ]

[ "1. Practice. You won't change overnight, but don't get discouraged by failure.\n2. Change what you exaggerate. Being a story teller is fine, but when you stress something as a means of looking better than the person you're talking to, it becomes a problem. Take a look at your example and you'll see what I mean.\n3. Recognize when you feel excited. This is the point which we tend to forget ourselves and sputter out nonsense. Learning how to change your tempo to calm down will help keep yourself in check.\n\nNot sure how helpful this will be, but I wish you success! ", "Take a fraction longer thinking about what you're going to say. It won't be noticeable to anyone else, but you can use language like you'd supposed to. \n\n", "Pretend whatever the story is part of some crime that has been committed against you and you're telling it to the police. You want your details as accurate as possible so that your case can be solved easier.", "Certainly with your example use phrases such as \"I feel like...\" and \"it seems as if...\". This will make your exaggeration stand out as not a literal one. " ]

[ 3, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to get rid of roaches with small birds and dogs My grandma has had a roach problem for over 5 years so ive been coming over regularly to help. She has about 2 dozen birds and 6 dogs. She doesnt want to use pesticides because shes afraid itll kill the birds and hurt the dogs. Is there anything thats super safe for small animals like parakeets but do the job well.\n\n", "How to get rid of roaches with small birds and dogs My grandma has had a roach problem for over 5 years so ive been coming over regularly to help. She has about 2 dozen birds and 6 dogs. She doesnt want to use pesticides because shes afraid itll kill the birds and hurt the dogs. Is there anything thats super safe for small animals like parakeets but do the job well.\n\n", "How to get rid of roaches with small birds and dogs My grandma has had a roach problem for over 5 years so ive been coming over regularly to help. She has about 2 dozen birds and 6 dogs. She doesnt want to use pesticides because shes afraid itll kill the birds and hurt the dogs. Is there anything thats super safe for small animals like parakeets but do the job well.\n\n" ]

[ "Food grade diatomaceous earth is your friend. \n\nThere are insecticides that, once dry, are pet-safe and are well suited for the job.", "I've had good luck with [glue traps](http://www.homedepot.com/p/Real-Kill-Mouse-Glue-Traps-4-Pack-HG-10095-3/100187510). Just slip a few under the fridge, dishwasher and stove. ", "BAY LEAVES!! Seriously I put these fresh Bay leaves all over my apartment after a TWO YEAR LONG battle with them and I haven’t seen any in weeks. And they’re pretty safe for pets if they get ahold of them." ]

[ 3, 1, 1 ]

[ "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? ", "How do you deal with a group of the popular bullies at school who have smeared you by saying you used racial language and now everybody is saying nasty things like calling you a racist and telling you to go kill yourself even though didn't do it and you're getting badly bullied? " ]

[ "Find help from someone with authority (teacher, student counsellor, etc.) and talk about it with someone you trust. It’s not okay what they did.", "Document everything, what was said, dates, times, location, names. Take this information to school authorities and tell them you are being harassed and need help in dealing with this situation.", "First off, wow bullying did a complete 180 since I was in school just 10 years ago. Back then it was the bullies who were throwing around racial language and stuff.\n\nSecond, and this goes for all bullying, just establish yourself. Have small conversations with random people in the lunch line or whatever. It's hard to spread rumors about people when everyone somewhat knows you as that nice person they talked to that one time. Even if 1 or 2 of the bullies friends believe it, you'll always know that most of the other people don't.", "you create a fake account of an attractive person their age and get them to send nudes and then get them arrested for making and distributing child porn", "Claim loudly that any unwanted attention is because the bully has a crush on you, whenever they say anything you just come back with \"I keep telling you, I'm not into you!\" or \"you don't need to keep making things up to talk to me\" (add sly wink), it will embarrass the hell out of them and they either stop or end up looking more and more ridiculous.", "Focus on what you can control not their actions as long as you know you didn't do it, rise above and seek higher ground", "Bullies only go after people they think will do nothing. \n\nTell your parents, tell your teachers and tell your headmaster. It is literally part of their job to put a stop to this stuff and it will be much more embarrassing for them than you when their parents are called in and people find out the truth.\n\nThe worst thing you can do is ignore it.\n\nJust remember, they are the ones with something wrong with them creating crazy lies like that, and there is nothing wrong with you.", "Had this exact situation. \n\nI have to agree with the folks saying document and report. \n\nAt the time of my bullying, in middle and high school, I kept it all to myself because I thought “who cares what these people think. I will let words roll off my back”. In theory, it worked. In practice? I feel like it really hurt me in the long run. I was convinced if I reported it, that it would make it worse. The thing is, I don’t think thats true. The worst case scenario is the school administrators are incompetent and there is no effect. Best case scenario, this all gets squashed. \n\nIm so sorry you’re going through this. Its supremely unfair. In a situation where there is no great answer, getting school officials involved is probably the best course of action. \n\nI wish you all the best. Try and keep your head up, remember who you are and that kids are just complete jackasses some of the time.", "Go straight to the principal. Not the teacher. And as others have already said, document everything. Keep a daily journal and write exactly who said what and when. If you have a phone can you record them?", "Change schools if you have to. If you're in high school, you & your parents can demand that they let you do home study or similar", "become a monster,\nkick their ass in front of everyone.\nits ok to be brutal,\nmake it known you will not back down till the bullying stops, scream the reason you are fighting when you are.\nhave no fear, \nat this point, your old life is done.\nyou were probably a kind and gentle soul,\nkeep that person inside,\nonly people who deserve kindness get to see that person.\nnow is the time to claim a new name.\nnobody who fears you dares to mock you.\n\ndont look back,\nforget yourself and how to behave.\nsmile and laugh at everything everybody says.\nbecome ferocious at making the ones that made you miserable miserable themselves.\nbe unstopable,\ndont show fear, dont cry,\nwhen they fight back, gang up on yu,\nlaugh.\nlaugh like a maniac, and defend yourself like one.\n\nmost people will tell you otherwise,\nthey were never in your place,\nnor do they know what they are talking about.\n\nor\n\nchange schools.", "When you get older you learn that bullies are usually people that have something wrong going on. It's no excuse to act shitty because something in your life is going wrong, but that is how some people react. Honestly, if they don't change they will end up sad and alone. If they have a significant other they won't get along. \n\nI am sorry they were shitty to you. Stand strong, talk to your friends. Maybe talk to others that they have done the same thing to. Bullies need to be called out for what they are, but accurately and with some compassion and that's really tough. And it doesn't need to be your job. (I don't know your full circumstance so I hesitate to give any firm, actionable advice. Except, talk to trusted peers and a trusted adult.\n\n The people who bully you are probably known to your guidance office. Talk to the councilor. If you aren't comfortable telling them who it is you can always say that you aren't comfortable saying and will keep their name autonomous and that you just want advice on the situation. \n\nGood luck", "My middle school daughter went through this. Her entire friend group suddenly decided she was “out.” It was horrible and I could see her declining mentally every day. I pulled her out of school completely and home schooled until we could get her into a different school. Once kids have phones, bullying takes on a whole new level with social media. I was not about to risk her trying to hurt herself over some stupid mean girls.", "Grab one of them when they're most vulnerable and of course, alone. Beat the holy hell out of them.\n\nIf you're not comfortable with violence, embarrass them. When they're walking around school, get actual human shit somewhere on their pants. Someone else will notice the stench coming from them and they'll be bullied for shitting themselves.", "Be brave and try chat to some of them one on one. Let them see the similarities you share not the differences. Or compliment them within earshot to the lower level ones in the group. Then slowly work your way up and gain their trust until it's the whole group only hearing nice things. Then say their leaders uncle was a part of a really bad pedo ring back in the 90s and that's why his family had to move there. Then say his whole family was in on it, and you were really close as friends until your parents found out.", "you live in the US? you could always just start acting like 'the quiet kid' and see if they back off.\n\nNothing beats psychological warfare.", "When I was a kid bullies would just beat you up, but then you learned to fight and that was the end of it. \\*sigh\\* the good ole days", "What we’ve learned from politicians about dealing with this kind of thing: A). work diligently to pull up varying layers of dirt on them & dispense as needed, and/or B). gaslight everyone with a massively distracting event or social movement aimed at diverting attention elsewhere. We can all observe how quickly society jumps from one hot-button issue to the next - bandwagon “trends” - without any greater awareness or perspective; if a handful of goal-driven individuals can orchestrate such things on a global level, I believe you’ve got what it takes to redirect the current trend amongst some dopey school kids. Just figure out what matters to them & go pull some strings… viola!", "Nowadays, everyone has a cell phone. Start to record and put it in a pocket. Who cares if the video shows the inside of your pocket, the audio is proof enough. If nothing happens, delete that video. If something is said, you've got your proof, go report the person. I didn't have that option when I was in school, but at least there were other girls in the locker room that had my back.", "I have had a situation like this. Although in this day and age what they have said you said is worse in perspective but the method is the same. \n\nWhen I was in high-school a rumor was started that I was gay and some kid made me sucknhis dick. This came from playing football and after I had been tackled the kid stood in front of me and thrust his pelvis toward me and said suck my dick. That was it but it got twist into a littoral thing.\n\nIt was rough because the kids spreading it were popular. People who didn't know me would ask if I was gay, of insuck some kids dick.\n\nHow I dealt with it was that, I didn't react. I stayed calm about it. Explained that it was a ru or started to bully me. I would always leave it with, believe what you want, I know it didn't happen and I'm not gay.\n\nOf course where it was easy for me was when it was a girl who asked me about it. I would just say,\"lest find out right now. If you think I am gay, let's go right now.\" It became clear pretty quickly at least to girls, which let's be honest, to a straight teenage boy is more important then worrying about a random guy thinking your guy.\n\nThis isbharder because you can get harsh backlash from people not involved in the smear because if it.\n\nI think I would start with reasonable people. And one who know they popular kids are being assholes and lying.\n\nIf someone accused me of saying racial shit, I would say, \" what did thrybsay I said?\" After they told me I would follow up with,\" you know what's more fucked up then that? (To get their attention) when a bunch of people spread a rumor that someone said that to bully them and make random people hat that person and make their school lif miserable. Could you imagine being a kid whdoesnt have a problem with anyone, who's not racist, trying to go to school everyday and people hate him because if a lie perpetuated by bullies? To me the racist act is they way that they are bullying l. It's pretty fuct up.\" Then I would look at them and say\" I would never say something like that. But (name the main instagaters) obviously do say it\"\n\nMost of all I would remain calm and not react.\n\nGood luck and stay strong strong", "Hi OP! Please tell an adult you trust about what is going on. It could be a principal, a teacher, a counselor, etc. Do not think you are burdening the adult by doing so. I am a teacher and we are here to help you and help you feel safe! Please feel free to reach out via DM if you need help about what to say. It will help to have screenshots of things if it occurred via social media or text but do not let it deter you from talking to someone if you don't have any proof. Please keep us updated and let us know what happens! If the first adult you talk to doesn't do anything, find someone else. Good luck ❤️", "First and foremost find emotional support. You’ve entered the court of public opinion and were the target of a smear campaign, these things are as hard to tame as it can be. Hopefully with time people will either forget or if you have space to reveal your own character they’ll see it was all a lie. Maybe you can chat to the school therapist and a head teacher to put forward your story. There might also be some online forums for the school you can use", "Don't even expect them to regreat for what they've done\nThey would never realize it in a million years. \nIf i were you, i would consider some options \nFirst, take time off school \nSecond move to another school \nHopefully, everything is working out", "Do you have any proof beyond the words of a clique of bullies?\n\n​\n\nbut not really, no. witchhunts have a way of being irrational like that.", "\"Strength of character is the best defence against slander\" Dalinar Kholin (Brandon Sanderson \"The Way of Kings\")", "In this case, society is the bully.\n\nNothing you can do but endure how society is fucked up and outgrow it.", "I assume you’re in high school. Find the biggest high school aged dude and pay him to beat the shit out of your bullies. End of bullying. Or a grown man willing to beat the shit out of high school bullies, or at least scare them a bit.", "Everyone says something racially charged at some point in their lives, it’s just not that big of a deal. You move on and keep going." ]

[ 125, 91, 88, 17, 16, 9, 8, 6, 6, 5, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0, 0, -3 ]

[ "How to best phrase leaving a Job. I am leaving my part time job for the summer and have exams and probably the busiest 3 months of my life so far coming up so I have decided to leave for the summer and find work again after. I also don't really like the work I do otherwise I would 't be quitting. How do I phrase it to my boss in a non-akward, professional way without any hard feelings between us?", "How to best phrase leaving a Job. I am leaving my part time job for the summer and have exams and probably the busiest 3 months of my life so far coming up so I have decided to leave for the summer and find work again after. I also don't really like the work I do otherwise I would 't be quitting. How do I phrase it to my boss in a non-akward, professional way without any hard feelings between us?", "How to best phrase leaving a Job. I am leaving my part time job for the summer and have exams and probably the busiest 3 months of my life so far coming up so I have decided to leave for the summer and find work again after. I also don't really like the work I do otherwise I would 't be quitting. How do I phrase it to my boss in a non-akward, professional way without any hard feelings between us?", "How to best phrase leaving a Job. I am leaving my part time job for the summer and have exams and probably the busiest 3 months of my life so far coming up so I have decided to leave for the summer and find work again after. I also don't really like the work I do otherwise I would 't be quitting. How do I phrase it to my boss in a non-akward, professional way without any hard feelings between us?" ]

[ "\"I really don't want to do this but I need to put in my notice. I like working with you but things are getting very busy with school and (other good legitimate reason here) and I won't have the time to work here and take care of everything else. \nLong story short be personable. You're both people and part time college students have busy periods your boss knows this and I'm sure they will be understanding.", "I always find it hard to write a resignation letter. I usually just google \"resignation letter templates\" to get inspiration, and then go off that. My advice - even though you may not like this job and never plan to go back, make sure you leave on good terms (unless your boss gets pissed off that you're leaving and ruins the relationship). Anything could happen in the next few months and you may decided to come back to the company (as an emergency backup plan), so it's important to not burn any bridges when leaving. Also, whilst it's rare, you could end up working with some of your current colleagues/boss again at another company (I've had it happen before). \n\nBe professional in your letter. If your boss really cares about you, be prepared for them to have a private discussion with you and ask if there's anything they can do to stop you leaving. Don't let them manipulate or persuade you, you've already made up your mind (unless they give you an offer you can't refuse). Sometimes the boss may be nice and say they'll give you a raise if you stay, other times they may be rude and tell you you're making a big mistake.", "That you want to take some time and focus on your career goals and want to move onto something with more scope for progression in what you want to do. ", "Just be honest and straightforward, he shouldn't have a problem. If he has a problem just let him know that it's to concentrate on your academics" ]

[ 5, 3, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to play an instrument and sing at the same time? As a musician who has been playing for 14 years, it frustrates me that I can't seem to play an instrument and sing at the same time. The rhythm seems to throw me off.", "How to play an instrument and sing at the same time? As a musician who has been playing for 14 years, it frustrates me that I can't seem to play an instrument and sing at the same time. The rhythm seems to throw me off.", "How to play an instrument and sing at the same time? As a musician who has been playing for 14 years, it frustrates me that I can't seem to play an instrument and sing at the same time. The rhythm seems to throw me off.", "How to play an instrument and sing at the same time? As a musician who has been playing for 14 years, it frustrates me that I can't seem to play an instrument and sing at the same time. The rhythm seems to throw me off.", "How to play an instrument and sing at the same time? As a musician who has been playing for 14 years, it frustrates me that I can't seem to play an instrument and sing at the same time. The rhythm seems to throw me off.", "How to play an instrument and sing at the same time? As a musician who has been playing for 14 years, it frustrates me that I can't seem to play an instrument and sing at the same time. The rhythm seems to throw me off.", "How to play an instrument and sing at the same time? As a musician who has been playing for 14 years, it frustrates me that I can't seem to play an instrument and sing at the same time. The rhythm seems to throw me off." ]

[ "This process is what has always worked for me: Make sure you have the instrumental part down really well before you start singing over it. Commit it to muscle memory. Then try to start singing with it, , going slowly at first. It'll take a little while to get used to but just keep practicing!", "You are concentrating on the sound of what you are playing. You are thinking of what sound comes next. Think of playing your instrument as just finger placement. Play like you don't hear the sounds your instrument is making. That way, you concentrate on the song you're singing whilst knowing that your preconditioned fingers are hitting the right chords. You don't need to pay attention to the sound that's coming from it because you know your fingers are making the right sounds... ", "Use a metronome, get so you can play in time without concentrating on it, you need to sort of form a secondary brain (Tibetan monks call it a Tulpa) that just plays the instrument and your primary brain that will sing. When you sing make sure you follow the metronome with your voice rhythm too. If you don't like the metronome use a drum machine. It really, really helps if you play with other people.", "It comes from the heart really. You have to become one with the instrument and treat the combination of you both as one instrument. Then you're just playing AN instrument, not two. Like learning to play an instrument with two hands. After a while they work together so well they feel like ONE motion. How do you get good at this? Practice. Like everything else in life it takes learning from ones mistakes. ", "I've played the piano for 8 years, and this took me a really long time to get as well.\n\nFirst off, are you playing the melody on your instrument, or just singing the melody and playing the chords/harmony/whatever? For me, if I'm playing the melody, I actually find it easier to sing through it as I'm learning, and eventually the two just mesh together (if, by chance, you've ever done musical theatre, it's the same idea behind learning choreography and singing simulaneously, your brain eventually equates one with the other).\n\nIf, on the other hand, you're playing the harmony but singing the melody, it's a lot easier to learn to play the song and then sing it only once it's become total muscle memory. If you're having trouble, I find what helps me is to record myself just playing, and then listen to the recording and sing over it to figure out how the two fit together. That way, you figure out the sound, and then how to replicate it, as opposed to trying to work them out simultaneously, which can be tricky if the harmony is more than just a chord progression.\n\nFinally, just keep doing it. It might sound unrecognizable the first time, or you might play it perfectly but only get half the words out. That's totally normal. Just keep doing it, it will come eventually. Good luck!", "I'm dying to be able to do this too. I can sing decently, and I can play a few different instruments, but when I try to combine the two it's a trainwreck", "I found this super late but wanted to chime in since I just went through this and succeeded wildly with practice.\n\n1) Use a metronome to play the song without singing. **Play it loudly!** Lots of websites have metronomes of varying sounds, and others allow you to input the video link for a song to determine its bpm.\n\n2) Make sure you have memorized your chord transitions, notes, or whatever is relevant to your instrument. Can you play the song through without singing at the correct bpm? If you have any issues, practice without singing until you feel absolutely comfortable with the song.\n\n3) Memorize the words.\n\n4) Put it all together. If you linger on a chord or transition, go back to step 2.\n" ]

[ 4, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to stop bitting my nails (for once and for all) I've bitting my nails since I have memory and I have tried lots of things such as spicy nail polish, removing my fingers from my mouth when I notice it and porcelain nails for some months (im a guy). I have passed all of them and I still bite my nails.\n\nThe most succesful one was porcelain nails but some days after stop wearing them I started again so I gave up.\n\nAt this point the only thing it might work is to cut off my fingers but I need them at work :(\n\n", "How to stop bitting my nails (for once and for all) I've bitting my nails since I have memory and I have tried lots of things such as spicy nail polish, removing my fingers from my mouth when I notice it and porcelain nails for some months (im a guy). I have passed all of them and I still bite my nails.\n\nThe most succesful one was porcelain nails but some days after stop wearing them I started again so I gave up.\n\nAt this point the only thing it might work is to cut off my fingers but I need them at work :(\n\n", "How to stop bitting my nails (for once and for all) I've bitting my nails since I have memory and I have tried lots of things such as spicy nail polish, removing my fingers from my mouth when I notice it and porcelain nails for some months (im a guy). I have passed all of them and I still bite my nails.\n\nThe most succesful one was porcelain nails but some days after stop wearing them I started again so I gave up.\n\nAt this point the only thing it might work is to cut off my fingers but I need them at work :(\n\n", "How to stop bitting my nails (for once and for all) I've bitting my nails since I have memory and I have tried lots of things such as spicy nail polish, removing my fingers from my mouth when I notice it and porcelain nails for some months (im a guy). I have passed all of them and I still bite my nails.\n\nThe most succesful one was porcelain nails but some days after stop wearing them I started again so I gave up.\n\nAt this point the only thing it might work is to cut off my fingers but I need them at work :(\n\n", "How to stop bitting my nails (for once and for all) I've bitting my nails since I have memory and I have tried lots of things such as spicy nail polish, removing my fingers from my mouth when I notice it and porcelain nails for some months (im a guy). I have passed all of them and I still bite my nails.\n\nThe most succesful one was porcelain nails but some days after stop wearing them I started again so I gave up.\n\nAt this point the only thing it might work is to cut off my fingers but I need them at work :(\n\n", "How to stop bitting my nails (for once and for all) I've bitting my nails since I have memory and I have tried lots of things such as spicy nail polish, removing my fingers from my mouth when I notice it and porcelain nails for some months (im a guy). I have passed all of them and I still bite my nails.\n\nThe most succesful one was porcelain nails but some days after stop wearing them I started again so I gave up.\n\nAt this point the only thing it might work is to cut off my fingers but I need them at work :(\n\n", "How to stop bitting my nails (for once and for all) I've bitting my nails since I have memory and I have tried lots of things such as spicy nail polish, removing my fingers from my mouth when I notice it and porcelain nails for some months (im a guy). I have passed all of them and I still bite my nails.\n\nThe most succesful one was porcelain nails but some days after stop wearing them I started again so I gave up.\n\nAt this point the only thing it might work is to cut off my fingers but I need them at work :(\n\n" ]

[ "Weekly manicures- might take two or three times but you will stop especially as it will be in the back of your mind that you have to be accountable to manicurist. Helped me stop. Good luck. ", "rub garlic or hot pepper on your finger nails. when I was a kid, my babysitter used to do just that in order to deter another kid from biting his nails. worked well from what I remember. all I remember about this kid were his hands, how he would literally bite and gnaw at the skin around the nails because he basically couldn't chew any more nail off without ripping the nail off the finger. hope that helps", "My parents would put Tabasco on my finger to get me to stop sucking my thumb. \n\nMaybe try that (watch the eyes though)", "I bought a megapack of chewing gum, chewed gum every waking hour for 3 months. I didn't chew my nails while chewing gum.\n\nSo after that I gradually chewed less gum..and have had pretty nails ever since.", "i stopped when i got a gel manicure. couldnt bite them, stuff is too hard. when i got it removed 3 or 4 weeks later the habit was broken.", "I used to to buy this vile tasting clear polish.it wasn't shiny or anything so it wouldn't be obvious you were wearing nail polish and it didn't smell either so you wouldn't need to explain to your colleagues why you smell of pepper ect. i have seen similar products for the same purpose like \"Mavala Stop\" or \"Thum\".", "Braces cured mine but other than that try to stop slowly maybe keeping you occupied with something will do the trick new hobby maybe" ]

[ 3, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How do i keep my house cool? I live in the south america, days are beginning to get really hot (global warming? anyone?) and i live in a apartment with no air conditioning.\n\nI was looking for some guidance over Google, but most of the tips there take for granted that i have an AC, which i don't. I already know that opening all windows and doors at night and closing them shut at day will make a great difference, but i still need some more cooling.\n\nAnyone? :)", "How do i keep my house cool? I live in the south america, days are beginning to get really hot (global warming? anyone?) and i live in a apartment with no air conditioning.\n\nI was looking for some guidance over Google, but most of the tips there take for granted that i have an AC, which i don't. I already know that opening all windows and doors at night and closing them shut at day will make a great difference, but i still need some more cooling.\n\nAnyone? :)", "How do i keep my house cool? I live in the south america, days are beginning to get really hot (global warming? anyone?) and i live in a apartment with no air conditioning.\n\nI was looking for some guidance over Google, but most of the tips there take for granted that i have an AC, which i don't. I already know that opening all windows and doors at night and closing them shut at day will make a great difference, but i still need some more cooling.\n\nAnyone? :)", "How do i keep my house cool? I live in the south america, days are beginning to get really hot (global warming? anyone?) and i live in a apartment with no air conditioning.\n\nI was looking for some guidance over Google, but most of the tips there take for granted that i have an AC, which i don't. I already know that opening all windows and doors at night and closing them shut at day will make a great difference, but i still need some more cooling.\n\nAnyone? :)", "How do i keep my house cool? I live in the south america, days are beginning to get really hot (global warming? anyone?) and i live in a apartment with no air conditioning.\n\nI was looking for some guidance over Google, but most of the tips there take for granted that i have an AC, which i don't. I already know that opening all windows and doors at night and closing them shut at day will make a great difference, but i still need some more cooling.\n\nAnyone? :)" ]

[ "When I had an old, small camper, I made a redneck AC unit. \n\nSmall cooler filled with ice outside, cut intake and output vents in lid. On output vent (sealed well), use dryer exhaust hose (insulated is better) to bring air inside. 8 inch PC fan draws air inside from the dryer hose.\n\nYou can have the whole thing inside and just recirculate air. Hot air rises, so exhaust near ceiling if you can.\n\nhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouSOWg9AWoA (jump to about 2 minute mark)", "To cool yourself off in a jiffy, fill an empty (clean) medium ti small sized garbage bin with cold tap water and put your feet in as deep as your comfortable. I sit on my couch watching tv with my fit in the cold water on hot nights. This lowers your core body temperature by a few degrees, the cold water absorbs heat away from the thin exposed flesh of your feet and ankles, pumping cooled blood into your system. ", "Hang some heavy curtains if you have windows that get a lot of sunlight throughout the day. It helps a lot more than you'd expect.", "Fans work well, however they do not actually cool the air. They just make it feel cooler. You can freeze a big bowl of water then place the ice block on a towel, on a cooking sheet, right in front of the fan. It blows cold air at you! Not helpful long term, but I used this to fall asleep on some extremely hot nights in my old apartment. I also kept a lot of those semi-solid ice packs in the freezer. Then I would put them under my back or neck while falling asleep, wrapped in a few paper towels.", "A tip I've heard several times for hot days is to fill a bathtub with water (if you don't have a bath maybe buckets would do), not sure if it actually works. \n\nI'm in Australia and I'm finding a tiny air humidifier is helping making the heat *much* more tolerable in my stuffy little apartment. I have no idea why. " ]

[ 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to know when you are talking too much Sometimes after a conversation, I will reflect and notice that I was dominating the conversation, or talking too much about myself. Even though I realize this, it is difficult to notice when I am in the conversation. I am just wondering if there are any exercises or tips to keep myself on check next time. ", "How to know when you are talking too much Sometimes after a conversation, I will reflect and notice that I was dominating the conversation, or talking too much about myself. Even though I realize this, it is difficult to notice when I am in the conversation. I am just wondering if there are any exercises or tips to keep myself on check next time. " ]

[ "I tend to do this too but I have become better at it. I always will interrupt myself after a couple minutes and ask a question. Let's say my BF calls and I am complaining about studying/work, etc., before I even finish the story I'll remember to say \"so yeah that's why I'm tired, but anyways I'm sure you're tired too because I know you had to do ___ and it'll go two ways, either him saying no I'm not tired because ______ or I am tired and explain his day.\n\nFor parties/social gatherings, I make it a point now to keep eye contact and watch for cues if they seem restless or are starting to fake a smile, then I know to shift gears and start asking questions or look for a way to end the conversation.\n\nAnother thing I have practiced is to wait for someone else to answer/respond in group situations or ask the quietest one what they think, and try my hardest not to \"relate\" (basically preventing one-upping) unless I find it really necessary.\n\nYou're talkative because people probably listen to you, you're a good story teller, etc., so do not beat yourself up too much if you talked a lot, insert a few questions or genuine interest about the other person and you're golden! ", "Try and make sure you ask questions, this will let the other person talk. \nAlso if I'm ever in a situation where the person is talking too much/ at length about something I'm not interested in my answers will get shorter and more noncommittal because I'm trying to end the conversation. " ]

[ 7, 2 ]

[ "How to quickly and easily fall asleep in bed. Sometimes at night, i lie awake in bed for as long as two hours. Can anyone help me?", "How to quickly and easily fall asleep in bed. Sometimes at night, i lie awake in bed for as long as two hours. Can anyone help me?", "How to quickly and easily fall asleep in bed. Sometimes at night, i lie awake in bed for as long as two hours. Can anyone help me?", "How to quickly and easily fall asleep in bed. Sometimes at night, i lie awake in bed for as long as two hours. Can anyone help me?", "How to quickly and easily fall asleep in bed. Sometimes at night, i lie awake in bed for as long as two hours. Can anyone help me?", "How to quickly and easily fall asleep in bed. Sometimes at night, i lie awake in bed for as long as two hours. Can anyone help me?" ]

[ "It may sound a bit crass but masturbate. Hormonal and tension release will ease the transition to sleep. ", "Audio books. Does not matter if they are exiting or not.\n\nGet a good one, and use a decent audio book player on your smartphone, which requires you to shake/bump your phone every couple of minutes, and will fade out the volume and stop playback if you fell asleep.\n\nWorked really good for me. You will be distracted from thinking about falling asleep, and if you do stay awake, it will not be boring. Maybe it will help you too.", "Sleeping is just not a thing I'm good at, to the point where I have been prescribed sleeping meds before. (I hated them and do not recommend this.)\n\nNothing ever worked as well for me as regular otc diphenhydramine. It's the active ingredient in Benadryl (so you can take that in a pinch) but it's labeled \"night time sleep aid\" or whatever. I take half the recommended dose (that is, one pill) and it doesn't make me drowsy in the morning, it's not addictive, doesn't make you hallucinate unless you take way too many, and, although it takes a couple hours for it to work on me because I have a stomach condition, it works like a *charm*.\n\nAnother thing that has worked, although it doesn't work every night, is that about 3am or so I would find myself still awake and just think \"Well, FINE, I guess I'm just not getting ANY sleep tonight\" and prepare myself for a sleepless day at work/school. This would relax me enough, I guess, to fall asleep withing another hour. I guess I stopped *trying* to fall asleep so hard.\n\nOh--I thought of another one: Have a solid bedtime routine. Do the same things at the same time of night in the same order and do not to anything else afterward except lie in bed and eventually sleep. This has never worked for me, personally, but I've seen it work on lots of other people; I had an ex, for example, whose routine was so engraved that if he took off his glasses during the day, because it was part of his bedtime routine, his body thought it was bedtime and he got sleepy.", "My grandma always told me to press my tongue to the roof of my mouth and apply light pressure. I have done this for as long as I can remember. I don't know if its a mind over matter deal or what but it works for me ", "I listen to sports talk radio. I listen to it... but I don't really care about it. But it's enough that I stop thinking about whatever else is on my mind and it relaxes me enough to fall asleep. It's essentially like barely interesting white noise.", "Concentrate on relaxing your jaw, that's where you have the most tension in your body. Then continue to relax all the other muscles in your face, i.e. eyes, cheeks, brow, etc. One all the tension in your face and head is gone, move down your body. Neck, shoulders, arms, back, legs. Once you're done, just maintain your relaxed position and don't move. You'll be asleep fairly quickly. You're essentially tricking your mind into thinking your body has fallen asleep" ]

[ 12, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to study more than just facts. I have about a hundred plants to memorize over the next few weeks and I'm finding it difficult. My studying has always been about writing the stuff I need to know repeatedly, but I can't write a plant. Does anyone know some tips for memorizing things like this.", "How to study more than just facts. I have about a hundred plants to memorize over the next few weeks and I'm finding it difficult. My studying has always been about writing the stuff I need to know repeatedly, but I can't write a plant. Does anyone know some tips for memorizing things like this.", "How to study more than just facts. I have about a hundred plants to memorize over the next few weeks and I'm finding it difficult. My studying has always been about writing the stuff I need to know repeatedly, but I can't write a plant. Does anyone know some tips for memorizing things like this." ]

[ "I like to associate things to their attributes. I'll think of what a fact is or what an item has and create a sentence that talks about that. So when I see the word I autofill the sentence which includes the information I need.\n\nExample: pci-e. The *Express* lane is always so much shorter, just like how the pci-e is much shorter than a pci slot.\n\nSo if i see Express, I'll remember that sentence and vice versa if I see pci-e, because the sentence I've memorized associates them. \n\n\nJust a really basic example.\n\n*Ninja ", "put them into groups. Maybe by taxonomic class, or by your own way. \n\nWhen you are trying to remember the name, it will help to recall the group and then recall the name. It will be much harder to just remember the name. ", "I don't understand what exactly you are trying to memorize. What is the information that you want to memorize that you feel cannot be represented by words and written down?" ]

[ 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to keep insects out of your house. Is there maybe something thats REALLY effective? :( I have a net but these little fuckers still come trough somehow. Should i buy a spray or is there an alternative?", "How to keep insects out of your house. Is there maybe something thats REALLY effective? :( I have a net but these little fuckers still come trough somehow. Should i buy a spray or is there an alternative?", "How to keep insects out of your house. Is there maybe something thats REALLY effective? :( I have a net but these little fuckers still come trough somehow. Should i buy a spray or is there an alternative?", "How to keep insects out of your house. Is there maybe something thats REALLY effective? :( I have a net but these little fuckers still come trough somehow. Should i buy a spray or is there an alternative?", "How to keep insects out of your house. Is there maybe something thats REALLY effective? :( I have a net but these little fuckers still come trough somehow. Should i buy a spray or is there an alternative?" ]

[ "Spiders really hate peppermint. So I put some peppermint essential oil in a spray bottle with water and spray it on the baseboards. Ants dislike bay leaves and might keep away if you place them around your kitchen. Diatomaceous earth is made up of tiny, sharpy bits of fossils and it cuts through the exoskeleton of crunchy bugs like beetles and roaches. Most insects don't like strong smells, so lavender, eucalyptus (with lemon for mosquitos), tea tree, rosemary tend to be good deterrents. \n\nHope this helps. I just moved from a cold climate to a warm climate so I'm suddenly overwrought with creepy crawlies. I certainly prefer to use more natural methods if possible.", "https://www.amazon.com/Diatomaceous-Earth-Food-Grade-10/dp/B00025H2PY\n\nSuper effective (read the reviews for more info). \n\nI sometimes use Ortho Home Defense (spray), but this stuff really seems to work for creepycrawlers. ", "If insects are coming through in one particular place, such as an upstairs window with netting over it, lay a small plate/bowl out filled with sugar water laced with insecticide OUTSIDE the netting.\n\nIf you don't have liquid insecticide, spray insecticide from a can into a bucket (outdoors obviously - and don't breath the vapor).\nAfter a relatively short spray you'll have liquid insecticide in the bottom of the bucket which you can tip into the bowl/plate.\n\nInsects will head for the bowl rather than try to get through the netting.\n\nProtip: mark the bowl/plate with a sharpie on the base so it never gets used for food.....\n\n", "Apple cider vinegar with a few drops of dish soap in a bowl will cause fruit flies and some other bugs to fly into it and die. Make sure to leave it out for a few days cause it usually takes a while for it to work.\n\nKeeping plants and trees away from your home helps discourage spiders from invading your home. Keeping furniture away from the corners of the room or just the wall in general will decrease the number of spiders because they will have fewer places to build their webs.\n\nKeep your house clean, bugs love clutter.", "Try putting cinnamon in a small cup to get rid of ants. I have also heard that vinegar can keep out a lot of flying insects. Otherwise use moth balls. " ]

[ 9, 2, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "How to negotiate your starting salary Apparently, negotiating your starting salary in your first job (out of college) can set the pay for your career in the long-term.\n\nAny advice on how best to navigate this tricky deal without losing the interest of your employer?", "How to negotiate your starting salary Apparently, negotiating your starting salary in your first job (out of college) can set the pay for your career in the long-term.\n\nAny advice on how best to navigate this tricky deal without losing the interest of your employer?", "How to negotiate your starting salary Apparently, negotiating your starting salary in your first job (out of college) can set the pay for your career in the long-term.\n\nAny advice on how best to navigate this tricky deal without losing the interest of your employer?", "How to negotiate your starting salary Apparently, negotiating your starting salary in your first job (out of college) can set the pay for your career in the long-term.\n\nAny advice on how best to navigate this tricky deal without losing the interest of your employer?", "How to negotiate your starting salary Apparently, negotiating your starting salary in your first job (out of college) can set the pay for your career in the long-term.\n\nAny advice on how best to navigate this tricky deal without losing the interest of your employer?", "How to negotiate your starting salary Apparently, negotiating your starting salary in your first job (out of college) can set the pay for your career in the long-term.\n\nAny advice on how best to navigate this tricky deal without losing the interest of your employer?", "How to negotiate your starting salary Apparently, negotiating your starting salary in your first job (out of college) can set the pay for your career in the long-term.\n\nAny advice on how best to navigate this tricky deal without losing the interest of your employer?", "How to negotiate your starting salary Apparently, negotiating your starting salary in your first job (out of college) can set the pay for your career in the long-term.\n\nAny advice on how best to navigate this tricky deal without losing the interest of your employer?", "How to negotiate your starting salary Apparently, negotiating your starting salary in your first job (out of college) can set the pay for your career in the long-term.\n\nAny advice on how best to navigate this tricky deal without losing the interest of your employer?", "How to negotiate your starting salary Apparently, negotiating your starting salary in your first job (out of college) can set the pay for your career in the long-term.\n\nAny advice on how best to navigate this tricky deal without losing the interest of your employer?", "How to negotiate your starting salary Apparently, negotiating your starting salary in your first job (out of college) can set the pay for your career in the long-term.\n\nAny advice on how best to navigate this tricky deal without losing the interest of your employer?", "How to negotiate your starting salary Apparently, negotiating your starting salary in your first job (out of college) can set the pay for your career in the long-term.\n\nAny advice on how best to navigate this tricky deal without losing the interest of your employer?", "How to negotiate your starting salary Apparently, negotiating your starting salary in your first job (out of college) can set the pay for your career in the long-term.\n\nAny advice on how best to navigate this tricky deal without losing the interest of your employer?" ]

[ "While it's true that your starting salary *can* set your starting wage *if you let it*, this is by no means the rule. Here are the rules to consider:\n\n1. Jumping from job to job at the start of your career is sometimes wise because you can more easily negotiate a higher salary at your new job based on your experience from the old one. You can also use the *total compensation* of your last job to negotiate. More on this in a moment.\n2. You should always spend a minimum of 1 year at a job if you want it to look like positive experience, rather than negative. <1 year looks like either you had a problem with your previous job or they had a problem with you. Neither is good. Traditional wisdom says that it takes roughly 18 months for an employee to gain the necessary training and experience to be \"irreplaceable\", i.e. to the point where they know enough that replacing them is expensive, and that they're no longer costing the company as much to keep around because they're now more productive. Leave before 1-1.5 years and you are (usually) far more expensive to your previous employers than the benefits you brought with you. Prospective employers know this and don't want to hire someone only to lose them a year to 18 months later. Some employers (some of the bigger tech companies) have policies like not hiring anyone with less than 3 years at one job in the last 10 years, or more than 3 employers within the last 10 years. So while jumping around can definitely help boost your salary, it can also hurt your chances for some time. (Note that many startups are willing to overlook this, however.)\n3. This doesn't apply to your first job, but after that, use your *total compensation* to negotiate, not your salary. Many (most?) companies will ask you what you're making now as a basis for their offer. While some folks will tell you it's none of your prospective employers' business and not to tell them, I've found that this only shoots you in the foot. If you're that much of a pain in the ass *before* they hire you, how difficult will you be to work with? Regardless of whether or not it's \"their business\", the fact of the matter is that asking this question (and receiving an answer) is now the de facto industry standard for these discussions. So instead of fighting that and getting frequently passed over, tell them. But don't just tell them your base salary: tell them your *total* compensation. This is your base salary combined with any bonuses, paid leave, and the cost of any benefits you receive. For example, find out how much your employer pays each pay period for your health, dental, and vision insurance, multiply that by the number of pay periods in a year, and add that to the total. Then, when asked about your previous compensation, use that total number. There's no need to clarify that it's total compensation rather than base salary unless they ask, or unless you're filling out an app/form that explicitly states \"base salary\". Note, however, that actually lying about these numbers can hurt you because companies often perform background checks as a part of the interview process, and you're signing something that allows your previous employers to disclose your salary to your prospective employer. (Or whomever they're paying to do the background checks.)\n4. Remember this: he who mentions salary first often loses the discussion. While not precisely accurate, it is generally considered unwise to mention salary until it's brought up by the prospective employer. This is for several reasons. First, asking about salary and benefits before the prospective employer brings it up can sometimes give the impression that you're only interested in the job for the money, which implies that you'll leave as soon as you get a better offer. While this may be true, it's not politic to make it seem obvious. ;-) Also, when your prospective employer starts mentioning numbers that are lower than you hoped for, you can hedge your bets. \"Ah. Most of the roles I've been considering have had a range somewhat higher than this. With proper approvals, is this flexible?\" Etc.\n\nI hope this is helpful. For what it's worth, I've consistently made more than my colleagues (have said they made) for the past 15 years, out of a 24-year career. My base salary is roughly 25% more than the average for my role (according to places like GlassDoor.com and Robert Half, and my total compensation is over $200K in an industry where it's usually around $130K-$150K. I don't even have a college degree. It really is about negotiation and your perceived value to the organization.", "Look up the average salary for the position you want on a site like glass door. If you're comfortable with that then add anywhere between 10 and 15% but include something like \"open to negotiating salary\". If you're lucky then you'll get the higher figure. If not then you'll get around the average salary. Don't settle for an entry level salary that will have you living like the working poor. Your future salary with that company will be pegged to what you initially earned. ", "Whoever told you that got their first job in 1998 or is currently unemployed. It's 2016, imagining you're going to be offered a job and be in a position to truly negotiate your salary straight out of college will set you up for disappointment. Looking for a job as a college grad can be very tough emotionally and physically. Look for a company that's easily recognized, ensure it's an industry you want to be in, build up some experience, and make a brand for yourself that you can portray on future interviews. Look elsewhere in a couple years when you can command a higher salary. Right now, you hold very few cards. Don't sell yourself short, but be realistic.", "More than just asking for a higher salary, it's important to clearly map out why you should earn that number. Has your coursework uniquely qualified you for this position? Do you have any internships or co-ops that have given you more experience in this field than other applicants? Etc. Write this all out before the negotiation, and then make sure to bring each of these reasons up one at a time while negotiating, in order to counter points that the potential employer may make. Don't present them arrogantly or aggressively, just have them ready in case they say \"this is what we offer all new hires\" or something. Then you can respond with \"I think you will find that I'm more experienced than most new hires, because...\"", "Check average salaries of your profession. Look at the cars in the parking lot. If you see lots of fancy cars I tend to negotiate from the top amount down. You can make a lot of judgements before an interview by checking out the cars in the parking lot. ", "Always ask for the top end of the salary bracket, you've got to be solid in the interview/'s\n\nGetting the job out of college is more about the hiring manager liking you, they have low expectations so as long as you turn up in a suit with a tie and have a bit of a personality you'll be heads above the rest. \n\nMy starting salary out of uni (I'm UK so - college) was £22k, then promoted to £32k 6 months later, 1 year in and I then left or a job at £45k, 1 year later I landed a job at one of the biggest brands in the world at £57k (plus bonus). I'm now interviewing for a £75k job (plus bonus) I'm now 30 (6yrs out of uni) \n\nI asked for the top end of the salary bracket every time. \n\nHope that helped. \n\n", "1. Check the average pay rate for a grad. \n2. When asked how much pay you expect to be paid, simply say... \"how much money do you think is a fair and reasonable amount for a person with my hands on experiance, education and aptitude.\"\nThe general rule here is the fist person to state a figure looses.\n\nPersonally I don't believe your grad pay will effect your salary down the track. When changing jobs in the future... check the bench mark, define what will make you happy and stick to it. ", "[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/bestof/search?q=salary&restrict_sr=on&sort=relevance&t=all) is some light reading for you that may help.", "You can ask for the average starting salary as well as the average salary of employees on your team/in a similar position. They don't have to answer, and if they don't then either their pay sucks or they're *really* low-balling you ", "Whatever you do, don't go out and accept whatever they offer you because it sounds good to your inexperienced self. The jobs I worked in high school and college didn't pay much but it was enough to cover my phone, insurance, and gas (petrol for non-Americans). When I applied for my first job out of college they made me an offer that sounded amazing to me. Way more than I ever made at a previous job. A few months after starting I found out that not only was I making less than other people who started after me and had absolutely no prior experience in the industry unlike me when I started, but I also made about $6,000 less than the average starting salary for that position. All in all, based on my experience and qualifications I should have started out at about $10,000 more. Switched to a different job about 2 years later and my old salary prevented me from getting a higher salary at my current job so it's been biting me in the ass for about 5 years now.", "Two things 1.) Show precedence 2.) Show that you're worth it (present ideas, business models, anything that goes the extra mile etc.) ", "The first person to mention a number generally loses. +1 for the glassdoor suggestion. Many recruiters will try to pressure you into giving them a desired salary. You should come back and ask about what the range is on the job. The fact is they've already pre-determined how high they want to go for a role and ask you to see if you're below their ceiling.\n\nYour employer is interested already. They're talking to you, or you're already hired. Make them pitch to you.", "I would advise against using a salary generator to establish a starting salary point to bring to the negotiation...\nI did and I was laughed at. \nAsking for a salary that puts you out of the poverty percentage right out of college is a joke to employers. " ]

[ 32, 18, 5, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "I recently had the chance to use my parents' car to go wherever I want but I'm bit scared of using it because I've never driven alone. How can I overcome my fears? ", "I recently had the chance to use my parents' car to go wherever I want but I'm bit scared of using it because I've never driven alone. How can I overcome my fears? ", "I recently had the chance to use my parents' car to go wherever I want but I'm bit scared of using it because I've never driven alone. How can I overcome my fears? ", "I recently had the chance to use my parents' car to go wherever I want but I'm bit scared of using it because I've never driven alone. How can I overcome my fears? " ]

[ "By getting in the car and driving a little distance every day. Maybe round the block, then a friends house, the supermarket etc.", "You need to be driving (practicing) every day. Like others wrote; small steps and gradually increase the challenge. Your confidence will improve but you need to be driving regularly for that to happen.", "What I feared the most about driving on my own was all of the \"What-ifs\"\n\nEducate yourself on what to do if something bad happens. How to exchange information, when to file a police report, what to do in the case of a flat, get pulled over by a cop, etc. Knowing how to respond to situations on your own will help a ton.", "Get in it and just drive, face the fear and it will soon go. If “what ifs” stop you doing things in life then you are going to miss out on a lot of things. I haven’t had my license long and was in a similar situation as you but once I did a 200 mile round trip it really helped. Just bite the bullet and drive somewhere you want to see" ]

[ 7, 2, 2, 2 ]

[ "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". ", "How to convey to a person that you'd like to have a calm, civil conversation, without using the phrase \"Calm down\", \"Relax\", or \"Chill\". " ]

[ "I've found that the best way to convey this is to do it yourself. Listen to the other person without interrupting, respond in a calm voice, etc. If they don't reply in kind, telling them you'd like to have a calm conversation wouldn't work either.", "Slowly draw back your suit jacket (with suitably rolled-up sleeves) to reveal your sidearm, maintaining eye contact with them the whole time. Works with my kids every time.", "Body language. I worked as a psych aide, and it was important to maintain a calm tone, low voice, remain sitting, or sit down, watch where you hold your hands (If you are an animated speaker, try to not do so, don't cross your arms over your chest, or hold them behind your back). Ask questions about their feelings on the subject (and listen!) They will take a cue from your calm, civil body language. ", "I once read this article that suggested to say \"please slow down, I'm trying to help you.\" I tweaked it a little since my SO gets extra hot headed and use \"please tell me how I can help you right now\"", "Talk about your self: \"Let me take a step back here to calm down and help resolve this...\"\n\nAlso, in most cases acknowledging the grievance does miracles: \"right, I see this is a serious situation...\"\n\nPeople just want to get the attention proportional to what they think the problem is.", "I owned and ran a retail place for 9 years and many of my clientele happened to be well heeled urban people with certain service expectations and an attitude, to boot. After an extremely steep learning curve I eventually arrived at the fail-safe solution. STFU. Clear my face of emotion, listen, let my eyes wander while maintaining a respectful posture. Never failed. The key was to never, ever helpfully fill in an awkward silence. You're there, but not really there. In fact, the longer that silence lasted, the more unnerved people became. The point I was making was, subtly, \"you're not saying or asking anything of substance. Perhaps when you do, I'll have something to respond to.\" People quickly hear what jerks they sound like when they're met with silence, and anybody but a true sociopath is hyper sensitive to it. Surprisingly effective. ", "Remain as calm as you want them to be. Reply to them seriously, even when they're yelling. They will feel, after being taken seriously, less of a need to be heard. I guess what I'm trying to say is, be the lead example if what you're trying to get here. I would also advise against pointing out that they need to change how they are handling this. If what I said doesn't work, say that you are getting stressed and need to go collect your thoughts/cam down yourself.", "Just want to point something out here. Some good advice in this thread, but everyone at some point will have to deal with someone who will not (despite all your efforts at calming, relaxing, or chilling the person down) calm the fuck down. From experience. Some people just don't want to \"calm down, relax, or chill\", and the reason for that may not be the immediate issue at hand, it's usually some personal/internal conflict, they're just using the scenario as an excuse to lose control. Those type of people are only looking to fuel their flame, either you can help fuel their flame, or they'll find someone else who will. Those are the people who will go out of their way to create problems so they can get upset and lose control. There are some good advice in this thread (some ridiculous/funny) if the reasonable advice does not work, then its a good indication that person can't be helped. They're out looking for a fight (or verbal altercation/bitch-fest), and if you don't fight them, they'll go find someone else who will.", "The best way is to repeat what they said. Literally word for word. Saying I understand doesn't show that you do. Next time repeat what they said. Then say I appreciate what you are saying thank you for expressing yourself, this validates their opinion. Then reframe and offer your side of the argument. This will diffuse a situation more quickly than you can believe.", "I think a question like \"Can we talk for a minute\"?\nLets them have the option of talking, without you telling them \"I want to talk to you about something\"\n\nAnd if you want to get someone mad, ask them to calm down. They tend to say OK, I'll calm down (if they were amped up) or get angry, and yell at you \"I don't need to calm down\"\nI've used this a couple of times and it worked like a charm. ", "Customer, family, government official? A lot depends on context. End the conversation if it gets out of line. \"I will not tolerate being yelled at, but would be glad to discuss it at a future time.\" ", "I used to work at Circuit City (remember that store?) and witnessed my manager calm a customer down effortlessly. The trick was to acknowledge that the customer was upset, and this lady was pissed. My manager calmly said \"Ma'am, I understand that you are upset and I'm here to help you.\" After that it was smooth sailing. \n\nI now work in tech support and use that line every time I have an upset customer on the phone. It hasn't failed me yet.", "Best advice I ever got was from a customer service course in the 90's. They used HEAT.\n\nH: hear them out. Don't interrupt, don't correct, don't say anything but murmurs that you are listening.\n\nE: Empathetic statement. Say something, anything that shows that you understand their human condition. It doesn't have to be anything \"real\" (an apology), just a statement that you accept that they are feeling stress. \n\nA: accountability. Always be accountable. Even if you aren't accountable for results, be accountable to get them to the next stage. \n\nT: take action. Agree on a course of action, and do it. \n\nLastly, take cr", "If a person is angry, and have something to say, gotta let them finish putting it out first before you can get anywhere. Let the fire exhaust itself instead of interrupting it to calm them down. Signs that they are done are when they start repeating their point and have nothing new left to say. They will usually realize it and finally subside enough for you to respond. \n\nResponse must not be manipulative or condescending and instead must indicate acknowledgment and reason. Something like \"You have said a lot of things, and many of them are valid. Let's talk about that x thing you said and go from there. \" \n\nThis usually puts the conversation on good rails. ", "Ask the person, \"Ok-- what do you want me to do now?\" \n\nForget where I read this. But I've tried it. The other person will stop, and consider what it is that they want. And, being upset, they might realize they actually sorta *forgot* what they want. Or, that they at least need to chill out in order to make you understand what they want.", "Tell them to stop acting like a fucking child. If they can't communicate like an adult, they are just wasting your time to benefit their own ego.\n\nThis goes for your superiors as well. If you are being screamed at at work, you need to straight up stand up for yourself and put them in their place.\n\nI'd start with \"This is unacceptable. You need to take more care in the way you're speaking to me.\"", "Tell them that you hear what they are saying and you want to help if you can. Change setting, invite them to sit, offer water.\n\nIf you don't have time for all that, you may not be able to calm some people down. But you can offer to be a resource. Take down their number, give them the number of a person who can help. \n\nWhatever you do, don't let their excitement become your excitement. ", "Control the volume and tone of your own voice. As they get louder, you get softer. I'm a manager at a call center, and this is a de-escalation trick I tell to my reps.\n\nIf you match a person's negative energy, you're adding to the tension and the customer (or whomever) usually will get angrier or more vehement to try and overwhelm you. The conversation becomes a battle of wills, which is particularly bad in a call center environment because customers can be much ruder and shittier to you than you can to them (and still keep your job.)\n\nIn contrast, it's hard to keep yelling at a person who speaks softer than you and calmly answers your questions. People don't want to feel or look like the bad guy, and if you're not feeding their negative energy they tend to self-moderate and match your softer tone until the conversation reaches equilibrium.", "You state your goal. \n\nIf your goal is to get someone to calm down, relax or chill and there's a reason they feel otherwise, then you need to reassess your goal. ", "This is literally the biggest thing that upsets my wife. She'll start raising her voice to me in a not too heated argument and I'll tell her to calm down out of instinct on my part and this usually causes her to EXPLODE with a seething rage if I could fix one thing in our relationship it would be either having her stay calm without be saying anything or me learning not to say anything. ", "When I was a teacher in a school with a lot of troubled students, I occasionally found myself in a parent conference and on the receiving end of a lot of misguided anger from the parent. It was infuriating to be yelled at and accused of outlandish things for simply doing my job. I used to try to correct the parent's misunderstanding and defend myself, but it only ever escalated the situation. One day after such an experience the assistant principal, who was always present in conferences, told me to just sit there silently no matter what the parent said or did and \"let them empty out.\" He said that if you don't respond and just let them unload, they would almost always calm down and often even come back around, realizing how crazy they'd sounded, and apologize. I tried it. It worked. Not only did it work but after I practiced it a couple of times I found myself in fewer of those conferences. The parents talked. Once they decided I wasn't fertile soil for a shit fest, they left me alone. ", "There is no good way that I know of. If someone is angry enough they will take offense to any attempt at calming them down. \n\nAnd for me personally, there are few things that can send me 0-60 in anger than someone telling me to calm down when I am not angry. Maybe impassioned in what I am saying, but not angry. But even then I am barely a decibel above my normal tone. ", "Social worker here, did a training on \"managing aggressive behavior\". Best approach is empathy. People calm down a lot when they know you're listening. Even if it's crazy what they're saying, just repeat it. \"What I'm hearing you saying is you're upset because you have a headache\" Etc or \"it sounds like you're having a hard time. What I have to offer is this\" People hate being ignored. Acknowledge what's been said, use their name, don't invalidate their emotions and you'll be hard person to stay angry at. ", "One thing that I have found to work is by saying something along the lines of \"Ok, I think we're both getting a little heated here. Maybe we both take a second, because I'm sorry- I got excited and should calm down\". By putting it on me, the other person (usually) realizes they are being outrageous as well and cooler heads prevail. This does not always work, but I've found its a good first step ", "Make clear to the other person that you understand the situation so they don't feel like you're not listening and then work to solve the problem.\n\nThe best way would probably be to not let the conversation get out of hand in the first place, but that is inevitable sometimes.", "For the last two years this was literally my job. In my experience if someone is upset about something thwy always have a \"good reason\". Good in the sense that it's obviously enough to get them emotionally invested. It may be spilled milk to you, but it's not to them.\n\nThink about times that you've been upset with someone. Were you more or less upset when the person on the other end was calm, understanding, and reasonable, or when they were just being stubborn and retarded? \n\nWith that in mind, that's exactly what you need to do. Acknowledge the other person's concerns and make them feel like you heard them. Ic you've done it right they'll calm down almost immediately as soon as they get everything off their chest", "Whenever I have a patient that's getting frustrated and starting to raise his voice and yell, I stop for a second or two, if I'm standing, I sit down, and then I speak very slowly, QUIETLY, calmly and deliberately. I've never had this fail to calm people down.", "Verbal Judo Techniques:\n 1. Purposely slow your speech down. Keep calm.\n 2. Read the person: are they sober, coherent, and capable of being rational. Are they a not danger to you? No=>reconsider timing and place. People act more civil in public.\n 3. Convey that you are listening and the goals you are attempting to achieve with the talk. \n 4. LISTEN. Then repeat a quick summary of what they said to you.\n 5. Assess your \"levers\": Use the goals or fears of the person expressed above to your advantage. Repeat step 1.\n 6. If you cannot find mutual ground... and cannot lie to the person in an emergency situation to create mutual ground... then realize a civil talk may not be possible. \n 7. Bring in a mediator or outside negotiator.\n\nSource: Negotiating with people 12+ years as part of career. Won't even add in my personal life experiences....", "The only person I have to say this to is my fiancee. I say, \"I know you're upset but you don't need to yell\" or \"I know you're upset but please don't yell.\" She then invariably yells, \"I'm not yelling.\" Then she stops yelling. Expecting that retort and saying nothing in response usually gets her to realize she is yelling and by not following up with a \"yes you are\" it prevents salting the pride wound and inducing defensiveness.", "The \"lead by example\" advice is good but I have a sense that you're talking about someone on whom that stuff already isn't working.\n\nNot everyone is able to speak and self-reflect at the same time, so a lot of people just don't *hear* themselves while they speak. They may not know how emotionally heated they're getting, and they view your genuine attempts to get them to cool down as either a baffling reaction to (what they see) as their calmly stated concerns, or an outright attempt to mislead or manipulate.\n\nStill worse are the people with a weird sort of emotional source amnesia, who know that *somebody* in the conversation is really angry and yelling, but they assume for some reason that it's you. In both of the above cases, your best bet is to have these conversations in front of a neutral third party, or videotape, or both, and then show them, later. Often they'll be shocked at the degree of emotional heat they had no idea they were throwing off.", "Respond calmly even while they are yelling , they do so to get the same response from you and will give up if you maintain your composure ", "Lower your head and look down when they are heated. Look up when they speak calmly.\n\nWhen they allow you a chance to speak start looking up, speaking in a calm deliberate manner. If they cut you off look down again and stop speaking.\n\nThis is an incredibly effective method, as you are cutting off non verbal communication when their behaviour is unacceptable. ", "Listen and show understanding. Don't just parrot what they say back. Really try to see things from their point of view, and show earnest effort in explaining your interpretation.\n\nExpress empathy. If you can't express empathy with their viewpoint, you can at least show appreciation they are coming to the table and trying to explain it at all.\n\nBe sincere. If you're just trying to do the above two so you can get them to a point where you can spit out your own viewpoint and be done, it will show.", "I've found that responding to strong emotions with expressions of concern tends to work well. If you show *no* emotion, some folks will think you aren't taking them seriously and get angrier, but concern is a non-threatening emotion that shows engagement. Depending on the situation, it may also help to take contemplative pauses before responding to really show that you're thinking about the issue. These also give time for the other person to cool down. The other thing that may help is to ask questions and express a little bit of confusion. Again, the emphasis here is to show that you are trying to understand their perspective, not that you are willfully ignorant or that their concerns are strange/invalid.", "I've found that asking someone \"How are you?\" or \"How's it going?\" usually helps, they might flare up at first but within the first minute of them explaining their situation they tend to calm down pretty quickly. \n\nIt helps if you have a mirror or reflective surface that you can, subtly, maneuver them in front of, people tend to change their attitude and behaviour when they see what they are looking like when they are angry or being overly emotional. ", "I usually don't get in arguments, but people usually come to me with an angry rant. I usually go \"Whoa! Whoa! Slow down, I'm not catching everything you're saying.\" ", "I have you tagged as an /r/MensRights user, so I'm assuming you're looking for advice on how to better [sea lion](http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/873260-sea-lioning)?", "I find that if someone is losing their temper, there's a good chance it's happening because the conversation is circling. Don't be a broken record that tells them the same thing over and over. Obviously that's not helpful. If it reaches this stage I find that an apology and acknowledging that you are not able to help them works wonders. (Too f'ing bad if you don't *feel* sorry, say it anyway!) The alternative is to acknowledge to yourself that you're stuck in a loop and that you have to do some creative thinking so as to look at the problem in another way. Once you break that barrier you're going to make some progress toward resolving the situation.\nBottom line, be the better person. If you're lucky this will draw out the better person from the person you are dealing with also.\n\n", "At work my crew has it figured out. If one guy is pissy and crabby and you can't talk to him or get any work done, we tell that person \"You're being a ass hole, and you can fuck off with that attitude. We have things to build not listen to a grown man bitch.\" You would be surprised how well that works with a crew that has been working together for 3 months.\n", "Ask the question: What is it you hope to accomplish by escalating the tension of this conversation? Do you want to talk to me like an adult who is actually interested in my responses, or is there some other goal you have in mind?", "Acknowledge them and what they are saying. Sometimes literally say: \"I hear you, and understand how you feel about this.\" If need be, clarify back to them. Say: \"I'm hearing that you are (hurt, frustrated, wanting help, feeling angry, etc) is that correct?\" Let them explain if not. Often when someone says they are mad about X, it is really about Y. For instance, \"you never do the dishes\", might really be, \"I feel that I put in all the work on our relationship.\"\nGoing back, when someone is yelling at you, they just want to be heard. Yes they might be mad at you or something else, but they want someone else to acknowledge the fact they are hurt. Once you do that, things usually get easier.", "you say \"jesus christ shut the fuck up\", alternatively 'shut up you fucking idiot\" and then present a more sober/civil solution ", "you may be interested in learning about this type of communication, tho both parties have to engage and understand how it works to use it (IMO) but its pretty interesting:\n\nnon violent communication \nhttps://www.cnvc.org ", "you cant tell them anything that works in my experience.\n\npeople who are emotional when discussing to the point where it shows usually cant control it (anymore).\n\nthe best thing you can do is either act as a release valve and let them vent at you (if you care about said person), or fuck with them, so they get even more annoyed and just go away. another option is to simply go away.\n\ninterestingly, most people choose the second option with me. i wonder what that means :S.", "standing casually facing them, both toes more pointed at them than not. sweeping exchange of eye contact with looking down in front of you. don't look past them on either side of their head.", "include both of you in whatever you say. Instead of saying \"calm down\" say \"lets calm down for a sec\" or\" why don't we take a step back for a minute.\" Including yourself in the calm down rhetoric sounds less accusatory, and doesn't imply there is something wrong with your interlocutor.", "during the conversation use terms like. I understand, appreciate and try to convey empathy. but sometimes nothing works. if it is a face to face conversation, try to sit or put yourself at the a slightly lower height. being taller someone can cause a unconsious defensive reaction. i have used these and can say they have worked in previous volatile situations. One last thing believe it or not is, lowering your voice slowly to almost a whisper sometimes work. As you lower your voice they must concentrate and apply more attention to what your saying and somehow distracts and defuses their current emotional status. ", "You have to direct the comment at yourself. If you directed the comment at the other person, they will immediately go on the offensive.\n\nSo I would say something like:\n\n>\"Wow ok this is a lot to process. Would you mind if I sit down for a bit, relax, and talk this out?\"\n\nYou can replace \"sit down\" with \"get a drink of water\" or \"think for a minute\", whatever will break the tension of the moment to give both sides some time to gather their thoughts.", "You don't say anything of the sort. You let them vent while you think of a way to ask an unloaded question about the subject that might help them start thinking. If you get someone thinking, they will automatically calm down.", "You could suggest a timeout from the argument. \"Hey, let's take 5\" and just walk away or something for five minutes. \n\n", "You can't go wrong by just being calm yourself. If the person is screaming at you, they feel like an asshole. If the person is not screaming at you, then you encourage a continuing of the calm conversation. You could start it out by saying \"I want to talk to you about something that may upset you, so I just ask that you please be calm and let me say what I need to say before you reply.\" ", "When you..., I feel ... because... It is a winning formula. If you can both agree to it it REALLY works. \n ", "When people tell me to calm down, I only get more mad, and on top of that, irritated by the person. Telling someone to \"calm down\" if they're mad is the quickest way to get them more riled up, plus mad at you. ", "When I have customers that are yelling and not letting me talk,I wait until they are done talking. I calmly start talking to them and say \"I'm sorry about the situation but let's try to talk this out.\" If they keep yelling I say \"I'm not yelling at you, please keep your voice down.\" It works like 99 percent of the time with me", "Well, if you live in a place like i do (Texoma, Texas Oklahoma border), you move somewhere more tolerant.", "Wait silently for the other party to come back to earth. This also works for when people aren't paying attention.", "Typically, acknowledgement of their feelings tends to do a lot. Also, approaching the situation with feelings and thoughts rather than an attempt at facts or proving your point right off the bat will do a lot. You can't argue with how someone feels. Hearing them out first as well and engaging them in the decision to calm things down helps.\n\n\"I get why you're angry. It makes sense that you would feel that way. I want to hear what you have to say, and ([avoid using \"but\"](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/3g0at3/lpt_replace_but_with_however_although_or_even/)) I think it'll be easier for me to understand you better and be able to resolve this if you can tell me in a more calmly manner. What do you think?\"\n\nIf you can put your opinions/demands/whatever aside for a bit and hear the other person out, they'll basically have no reason to argue out of emotion.\n\nAnother thing you can do is not say anything and let them get it out of their system. Where I used to work, we would take irate customers calling in, pretend we were busy and put them on hold for about 3-5 minutes. They start running out of steam and they feel better when you answer with: \"I'm sorry about that. It's a busy day today, but now you have my undivided attention\"", "There is nothing you can say to this kind of person. Cut them the fuck out of your life. They usually have some shitty excuse about \"having a right to be angry\" or \" X made me angry\". It is all bullshit. \n\nThis kind of person likes to be abusive and enjoys hurting people and will do so for any imagined opportunity. No amount of reasoning will work because it is not about reason and it is all about them pouncing on an opportunity to lash out at some one. They enjoy this and are looking for reasons to abuse others and have no interest in listening to reason if it means cutting their fun short. ", "There is no 'one answer fits all' for this, I strongly believe it depends on the person. My ex that I dated for 4 years had an anxiety disorder and once she started to have a panic attack saying \"calm down\" would make things much worse. Talking calmly and such had no positive effect and the only thing I could really do was try not to fuel it. In this situation listening, comforting, an physical contact like a hug could help.\n Some people however get heated in search of a fight/aggressive argument and will try to take anything you say as a reason to continue. In these situations plainly stating \"I'm not talking about this right now\" and doing something else will take attention away from the subject that's causing the aggression. ", "The trick is to remain calm yourself even if the person you're speaking to is being unreasonable. This will subconsciously cause them to calm down as well. ", "The most important part of doing this is to start by making some small concession. Something along the lines of \"okay, that's true\" or \"you make a valid point there\" or \"I can understand where you're coming from on this\" to show that you aren't trying to dismiss their grievance. One of the surest ways to escalate the situation is to act like the other person is making a big deal out of nothing because to them, obviously, it isn't nothing. After you've done that, try to smoothly segue into something like \"but let's talk about this for a moment\" or \"but I'd like you to understand where *I'm* coming from on this\". That should give you an opening to actually start the rational discussion.\n\nDisclaimer: this is assuming you're actually dealing with a reasonable and rational person. If that isn't the case, then there really isn't much you can do.", "The more you try to sugarcoat it the more condescending you sound. Just tell them to calm the fuck down.", "The key is staying calm yourself regardless of their behavior. When you refuse to get amped up, it helps defuse the situation. \n\nRecognizing and validate their feelings. I can totally understand why you feel that way. You have every right to be upset. I can imagine how frustrating that must be for you. \n\nTalk to the person about what they would really like to happen. We often have the same end goals, so once we recognize that common ground, it's easier to work together than fight about the differences. ", "The best way I've found is to say \"let US calm down\" make it a \"we\" situation as in \"I need to calmly think about this so WE can have a productive discussion\" something like that. Careful not to be condescending.", "The best thing to do is let them let it out for a sec. That's the only way I will calm down. But if that's absolutely not an option don't say things implying they are overreacting. Use \"we\" style statements not \"you\". Say \" Let's take a step back for a second and figure this out.\" Or \"We've got this, we just need to think straight\". ", "The \"feel, felt, found\" method is good for getting conversations back on track. \n\n\"it appears you feel that X. I've felt that way too, and when I have I've found that usually Y. What do you think? \"", "Tell them up front to not let YOU get crazy during the talk because you tend to sometimes, they'll be focusing on keeping toucan, you'll be focusing on keeping them calm, everyone is calm ", "Talk to them, try and understand without sounding condescending. Make yourself calm and they should follow. [Unless the guy has an AK] (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0751127/)", "Sounds to me like you're asking for word choice; that you're confident in your technique. \n\nI tend to day, kinda quietly, \"Hang on a sec.\" with the hand-patting-down motion. This works for me.\n\nThen, there's the authoritarian version. \"Now waaait a minute\" in a more normal tone of voice. This is reserved for when someone goes a step too far and usually works to bringing them back to reality.\n\nBesides all that, these situations tend to be very individual and specific and not really advice worthy. As the moderator, you either have to already have a rapport with the person, or have an existing technique.", "Sometimes, being calm in the face of someone in a 'high state of arousal' can backfire and make the situation worse. Part of the reason the person is yelling is because they want to be heard. You speaking normally can make them more angry because you are clearly not acknowledging whatever their issue is. \n\nYou may have to raise your volume - not to out-shout them, but just close enough to their level so that they understand that you're hearing them. You're still calm - you're just speaking a higher volume. Tell them you hear them, ask them what they need from you as you bring your volume down to a lower level. \n\nWhen they understand that they're being heard, they won't feel the need to shout. ", "So I was going through this last night having a conversation with my drummer (and best friend). Others in this thread have made key points about talking in a low voice and listening intently. It helps to say things like, I see where you're coming from, or all them what their point of view is. Always come into these conversations with a problem solver mentality. My drummer got worked up about how he couldn't hear us very well when we practiced. I told him he's right, that's a problem that we need to fix. At the same time sitting at a table in the apartment and complaining about it doesn't solve a problem. I said next time this happens we'll stop and find a way to make the sound better. I got to a point in the conversation where I was able to tell him the way he's coming off is very negative and that I wanted him to look at things in a more positive light. You'll get a much better response by suggesting how something could be improved. ", "Saying \"Real Talk,\" before a sentence is used among my friends as a way of conveying you want a genuine reply/discussion.", "Repeat after me: SET-TLE THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY. Put an emphasis on the Set, almost like you are saying Seto but yea shits cash", "Remember to yell at the person to calm the [insert expletives] down. That way they know you're calm and serious /s", "Recognize the situation and do it yourself, the best way to proceed is to wait for the other person to follow. If they don't they'll look like and asshole shouting at you which is as good as winning the argument.", "Pay attention to the tone you use. In business management it's best to use what's called neutral tone when speaking. Active tones automatically puts the listener into a defensive state.", "One little tip I've learned is to watch your intonation. \nI find that a voice that falls as the sentence comes to a close (all the way to the period) will be more likely to get people to lower their guard. It starts a pattern of behavior where you both disarm.", "Ok, let's talk about this. What can I do to help?\n\nI'm hearing you is another good phrase.\n\nLet's figure out what we can do about this.\n\n", "Ok, I can see this is an emotive issue for you. Let's see if we can just talk this through objectively.", "My advice: \n\nDon't use commands or orders, which \"chill out\" and \"calm down\" and \"relax\" are, and are also, in addition to commands, fraught with condescension and imply that the other speaker is doing something wrong, which derails and stops the conversation immediately. \n\nInstead, refuse to escalate. If you are in a conversation that is getting heated, and the other person is getting angry, shouty, belligerent, hysterical, or abusive, they are **escalating** the emotional level of the conversation. \n\nTo counter this, refuse to escalate yourself. Don't heighten your anger, belligerence, etc. Continue to refuse to escalate without saying \"I refuse to escalate this\" etc., that just escalates it, actually. Don't get more heated, defensive, sarcastic, or aggressive, in tone and content. \n\nSometimes the other person gets so frustrated that they haven't gotten the fight that they want that they storm out of the room. Other times the person remains angry and defensive throughout the conversation but it hasn't escalated anywhere bad. Other times the hostility pretty much vanishes by the end of the conversation. It just depends who you're talking to. \n\nThis is my experience, and this is the only way that has worked for me. I've had to use it a lot. It really works. ", "Lower your voice slightly. The other person will realize they're getting boisterous and lower theirs and you meet back in the middle of normal conversation avenue. I'm a liability adjuster for an insurance company, and use this on the daily.", "Listen.\n\nMost people want to talk but they'll inevitably run out of information or pause. When this happens, acknowledge what they've said before you begin to talk about what you want to address. It will be reciprocated if you're with someone who is open to a good conversation.", "Listen to them. Be calm, recognise and validate their emotional state, not their argument; i.e. 'I can hear that you feel really angry/upset about this issue', and let them explain to you why they're so upset. People get angry when they feel they're not being listened to.", "Listen to everything they have to say and use a quiet voice. Have you ever yelled while someone was near whispering? It'll make you feel awkward. ", "Listen and defuse by giving positive and constructive feedback in a soft (yet strong to not seem weak) tone. Also use body language to your advantage. Standing there with an art face and your arms crossed is much less likely to defuse a situation than a face of listening and arms at your sides.", "Let them rant, first. The reason they get loud and obnoxious is because they feel like they aren't being heard.", "Keep your eyes closed while looking slightly upward with one finger raised up in a \"shh\" position by your mouth and then interrupt them with little noises. This works great frpm experience, I have onlt been slapped three times, punched out twice, and shot and stabbed once using this calming method.", "Just slowly remove your finger from their anus while not breaking eye contact. They usually puts em into a more peaceful state of mind", "John Gottman has done decades of research on marriages and what makes them work/fail, and what makes them fail is when \"The Four Horseman\" (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) enter into arguments (http://www.azgrowth.com/4Horsemen.pdf). Avoid letting these into the discussion, and you prevent the escalation that leads to yelling and heightened tension. You can read a lot about Gottman's work and findings on the internet, but I highly recommend just reading his book, The Seven Principals of Making Marriage Work. This book has improved both my personal and professional relationships in teaching me tact in arguments and tough discussions. ", "It's good that you realize using those phrases can be counter-productive. For me the most infuriating thing is when someone is being a total asshole and then tells me to calm down.", "It's called the \"fast food rule.\" You repeat back what they're saying in your own words to show that you understand. Then you get to say your piece. It's called that because fast food joints repeat your order back to you to make sure they have it right. This works well for toddlers and for adults acting like toddlers.", "It depends on the situation. \n\nIf you're in the middle of a conversation and it becomes heated, then stay calm and let them say their piece, then calmly explain your piece while carefully keeping from stepping on their toes as best you can. If the discussion is to heated then let them know you'd like to talk about it later when you are both relaxed.\n\nIf you're looking to start a conversation then let them know your intentions. \"Hey, I'd like to talk to you about something, but I would really like it to be a discussion and not an argument.\"", "Instead of saying things like , \"you do this or you do that...\" Tell the other person, \"sometimes I feel like, or what I'm hearing is....\"", "Include yourself so that you aren't seeming to place blame on the other party. For example,\n\n\"I feel like this discussion is getting a little heated, it was not my intention to start an argument. Maybe we should take a moment to organize our thoughts, because I am interested in what you have to say on the topic.\" ", "In any argument, just remember that there's a difference between finding clarity and finding agreement. ", "Imo you should frame it about yourself as a group. \"Alright, let us both just take a second and chill.\" \"We should dial it back cuz we're getting heated\". ", "If you need to directly verbalize it, say something like, \"I'm not looking to argue with you, I want to have a discussion.\" \n\nIt doesn't accuse them of overreacting, but gets the point across without beating around the bush. ", "If you ever hope to have a civil conversation you have to validate their concerns.\n\nBy nature if you say 'calm down' 'relax' or 'chill' you are dismissing their concerns and implying that they're overreacting to something they obviously care about. So, to be constructive, you have to do the opposite.\n\n'I understand what you're saying. Mike shouldn't have done it that way. It made it harder for his teammates right?'\n\nShow the person that you really do understand what they're telling about by telling them you understand and summarizing their concerns.\n\nThen slowly bring up your ideas without attacking them. 'You shouldn't think that way' or 'you're not right' is very accusatory. It will put them on the defensive. Try saying 'I think Mike was looking at the big picture when he did it.'\n\nIf this is a person that you know well, try wording the conversation in a way that doesn't incite the person. And most importantly, you have to remain calm yourself. Be control of your own emotions and be aware of the other person's emotions. ", "If the other party (let's call him Bob) is frustrated because they aren't getting their problem fixed, look at them and say *\"Bob, I see you're frustrated and I want to help you. Let's talk and figure out how we can get this problem fixed for you.\"*\nYou're validating their emotions and you're making it an \"us\" conversation. \nAnd then listen to their problem, occasionally repeating back what they're saying as a question. \n", "If someone is raising their voice at you, speak more quietly, then they have lower their voice to hear you. I'm a nurse and get screamed at on a daily basis, so this tactic usually works for me.", "If someone is hot headed and will snap back at anything you say that is against their word, then play a little jedi mind trick with them. Everyone likes to feel like they are right, agree with them. Don't straight out say no, you're wrong. Try an indirect approach.\n\n\"Oh that's a great idea! We can also try... then we don't have to ...\"\n\n\"I see what you're saying, that does make sense! Also ...\"\n\n\"Hm I see where that can work, but this might be better..\"\n\n\"BUT THAT THAT WAS CHECKING OUT MY GIRL!\" \"Yes, he was, that just means your girl is hot and she's all yours, not his, no need to start a fight over a no one.\"\n\nThese are some crude examples and it's really situational. Bottom line is, people like to feel like they are correct. Make them feel like they are correct and then steer the conversation your way afterwards.", "I've had some training in this, though it may not be exactly what you're looking for. \n\nI work as a coach for first year teachers in my district. The first year of teaching can be really tough, and while they're never upset at me, they sometimes become angry, stressed, and even a little hysterical about their students, colleagues, or personal lives. The training I've had teaches a few key concepts.\n\n1. Most importantly, they need to feel as if they're being heard. Your instinct is to try to fix the problem or give advice on what you would do, and while there are times when that is appropriate, they are actually few and far between. To help them the most, paraphrase some of the stuff they say back to them. I know it sounds stupid, and it feels awkward at first. I promise it works if you practice. It will make them more comfortable and calm them down. (Side note: After learning this, I now paraphrase my wife and the time it takes to have conversations about her work problems shrank significantly.)\n\n2. Get into physical rapport. If they are using their hands to talk, try to do the same. If they are sitting relaxed and comfortably, try to do that. Obviously, don't mirror their every move lest they think you're a creep or even making fun of them. But it will make them more comfortable if they know they are connecting with you.\n\n3. Match their vocal pattern. Imagine yourself being angry and raising your voice. If someone comes up to you with a cool, calm voice, it tends to piss you off even more (e.g., \"I'm calmer than you are, Dude\" from Lebowski). Instead, match their vocal pattern in inflection, frequency, and volume minus 10% and try to decrease your intensity throughout the conversation. They will probably do the same. \n\n4. Probably most importantly, ACTIVELY listen to them. Being sure to paraphrase helps with this because to paraphrase, you have to know what they said. After they finish a thought, wait a solid 2 or 3 seconds before you talk to make sure all the frustrations are out. When you do talk, let them know you hear and understand their feelings. Don't ask them questions, don't interrupt them, and don't offer advice unless they specifically ask for it. After going through this training, it's incredible how much I notice people giving unsolicited advice, especially on reddit.\n\nHope this helps you out a bit. It's certainly helped me both professionally and personally. ", "I've found that listening to what they have to say and trying to understand where they are coming from really puts things into perspective. Watch your body and eye movements, and try to stay calm. Sit down and have them sit next to you, usually facing each other, and have at it. \n", "I've found \"We are about 3 feet apart from each other, we can have a 3 foot conversation, right?\" to work pretty well. As long as you're calm and soft spoken, it highlights the tone difference and gives them a moment to examine that without directly pointing out their volume or tone.", "I've been taught that if someone is shouting talk in a calmer quieter voice, eventually they will have to calm themselves down to hear what you are saying. If you try and meet there level the conversation will just get louder and louder and you will find yourself in a full blown argument. ", "I'm trying to imagine these techniques being used when I deal with people who are behaving like they are on a daytime \"talk show.\" I can't see most of them working. ", "I'm the person often told to chill. Proposing to talk about it later usually makes me think about things more objectively, and when I feel like I'm being understood and that im actually getting through, not argued with about my feelings, I always see their side of it too. You have to want to understand though, it doesn't really work otherwise. ", "I'm assuming you're talking about debates and arguments.\n\nIf someone makes an argument or claim that is slightly ambiguous and can be interpreted multiple was confirm exactly what the other person is trying to say by repeating the argument in your own words. \n\nFind out exactly where you disagree (assumptions, values and facts) and know when to stop. People disagree because they all have their own perspective and you shouldn't think you're important enough to change everyone's opinions.\n\nNever talk about emotions or anyone's state of mind. Stick to logic and facts. The other person is right until you can explain how and why you disagree on a certain point. If you are angry, you should leave the conversation. If you make a single statement that is wrong and you were sure you are right, leave the conversation and reevaluate how you feel about the topic again or point you how you logically came to the wrong conclusion (with your assumptions, what you value, and what facts you knew beforehand) so you can continue talking.\n\nPay attention to what things other people do to annoy you in a conversation and make sure to never do that (don't assume you are a perfect human being)", "I'm a trainer at a call center so I deal with this kind of thing fairly regularly. The thing they thought me that works the best is to \"let em run\". You need to stay calm and just let them talk themselves out. Don't interrupt at all. When it's your turn you speak calmly. It might take a few rounds but if you let them spend the emotion without feeding it, it usually calms them down pretty quick. ", "I'll assume you're asking about situations where you and another party are having an argument about some event or some other fact. On your part, forcus on having a factually based conversation, ignore any insults or denunciations that have nothing to do with the facts. Don't say anything provoking, focus on the facts.", "I worked in a house for teenagers who couldn't live at home, and came across situations like this pretty frequently with one of the residents. He was an Aspie (Had Asperger's) and would flip out a few times a day. Really nice kid to those he saw as friends, he was under the impression he had to prove his manliness/scaryness to other workers by doing the tough guy routine. Understandable, he'd never been in a place like this and must have been terrified. Whenever I could see him about to lose his composure with someone I would step in and remind him to take turns in a converstaion. I'd usually ask him and whoever he was arguing with to come outside and sit in the relaxing shade to have out discussion. It worked a majority of the time, everyone else in the house understood he had some problems with communication and seeing other points of view, but eventually he was conversating, not arguing, explaining his views and not shouting them. I was really proud of him. I'd always make sure to ask him to reiterate his point slowly and give examples etc. instead of shouting the same thing over and over. ", "I worked at a summer camp where dealing with angry parents was a big part of my job. The last step might not be relevant depending on the conversation, but to diffuse an angry person we used the CLEAR method:\n\n* Calm: Stay calm yourself\n\n* Listen: Listen to what they have to say. Let them finish, and don't interrupt. A lot of times people just need to vent. \n\n* Empathize: Try your best to see the situation from their angle. Even if it's not intentional, might they feel like they're being attacked?\n\n* Apologize: Sometimes you didn't do anything wrong, but you can still apologize for the situation that the other person is in. It's arguably insincere, but sometimes swallowing your pride is the most effective way to get what you want in the end.\n\n* Remedy: Do your best to remedy the situation. Sometimes that simply means, \"I'll speak to my supervisor and get back to you.\" They just want to know that SOMETHING will be done.", "I work as a sea kayak guide with large groups in sometimes difficult and challenging situations. Conflict resolution and dealing with panic are both job skills. These are the steps I take. I listen first quietly, then quietly and calmly acknowledge the person's right to be angry/afraid and the reason for it, offer a constructive solution/compromise. I will try especially when fear is the cause of the anger to use humour a bit, be very carefull with this, it can help people realise that their fear is not reasonable, but they will get madder if they feel shamed or laughed at. It probably helps that I do not intimidate easily, and can look intimidating if I need to as well. (I'm an ex fighter and even at 51 I'm still a 200 lb biker, with skills) and I am already in a position of authority as \"the guide\". It helps to assume a body language that implies authority, stand above the person on a curb etc., stand in a none threatening none combat stance with you hands open at your sides, and try to look relaxed, you can respond to physical threats faster this way anyways.\n I do find this same approach works well with people who get angry with my \"riding style\", and even with cops...I usually can talk my way out of a ticket even. If the guy does start swinging , I`m ok with that too....but it honestly never happens, softly spoken words are the best self defense . Give respect, Gain respect...it works.", "I usually like to point out how a situation isn't a big deal, explain that mistakes happen and problems like these have been fixed before or something along those lines. Using a calm tone of voice is a must as well.", "I used to have to do this with an ex-coworker of mine all the time. He was always crazy worked up about everything. I'd put distance between us by excusing myself to use the restroom for a minute or two. I found that the tiny break helped him calm down and then when I came back he was a little bit more civil. ", "I use 'hmmm, I'm having trouble - can you help me understand your point of view about x? '\nWorks a treat", "I understand that we both feel strongly on this subject, but lets both try to put our emotions aside for one moment...", "I touch their lips with two fingers and do the \"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhut up\" thing. ", "I take some of the onus onto myself and mention that I'm trying to stay calm then thank them for doing so also... sometimes, if they're not actually totally calm this can be enough of a polite redirect to put their attention on their behavior. \"I can tell this is something we are both feeling really strongly about and I'm really trying to take some time to think about what I'm saying carefully. I don't want to be argumentative with you and I appreciate that you're trying to do the same.\"", "I remember years ago someone taught me that if you're having a conversation with someone and they start raising their voice out of anger, lower your voice. For some reason, if one person in the conversation starts whispering, the other will likely start whispering as well. Won't exactly calm them down, but it may help. ", "I once spent 15 mins trying to talk quietly and calmly to someone who maintained an 8 out of 10 level of anger. Gave up as they were being utterly unreasonable and lost it with them, met their 8 with a 9 or 10 with some hard cold facts about their actions, they freaked out and slammed the door on me.\n\nIf people want to vent, they want to vent and have no intention of actually communicating, fuck 'em, write it off to experience. \n\nSometimes it just isn't going to work.\n\n", "I like to say \"Let's slow this down a bit.\"\nIt conveys to the other person that your not telling them to calm down, rather both of you need to chill, without saying chill.", "I have dealt with a lot of angry clients in my last two jobs, many of whom are lower-functioning, dual-diagnosis, or simply emotionally undeveloped for their age. One of the first and best things to do, if you can, is to remove other people from the equation. The feeling of being watched, publicly humiliated, or attacked can make any attempt at de-escalation doubly difficult. Part of certain kinds of displays of defensive anger are as much for the benefit of bystanders as they are for the anger's 'object.'\n\nThere's many kinds of anger, and many ways that people try to use it to get their needs met. Some feel attacked and are lashing out in response. Others feel *wronged,* which is really not the same thing at all. One needs to be shown that they are not under attack, the other has a grievance that needs to be seen to be taken seriously before it can be defused or redirected. \n\nStill others have simply found that it's a strategy that works to get others to capitulate, as many people would rather give you what you want to get you out of their hair and prevent a further incident. In my own work situations (residential treatment, shelters), we would never reward those kinds of displays, because that simply creates a behavioral incentive, and soon you'd see the entire community adopting it. Instead, what we would have to do is explain to them \"I hear you, I do. If you continue to express yourself to me in this way, though, it's going to make it hard for me to give you what you want.\"", "I have a number of techniques, some of which often work, none of which always work.\n\n1) Walk away. Say you will have that conversation once everyone has calmed down, and then walk away and end the conversation. 2) Say you would rather receive the criticism/complaint in writing and insist that they send you an email. And then see number one. 3) Ask them for just the facts, and keep asking for just the facts. Remain steady and non-emotional as you obtain the facts from their testimony. 4) Listen, empathize, judge nothing, let them get it all out - until they calm themselves down. THEN ask them to discuss it again, calmly. 5) Pick a single topic and focus on that one topic and refuse to let the topic expand until it represents everything that is wrong with the world today. Keep the topic focused and centered on one manageable issue. \n\nI also sometimes offer a hug and tell a person I love them and that I'm sorry. I accept responsibility for my part in it, if I have a part in it. A quick apology seems almost magic, sometimes. But it's not enough to apologize: I find it helps to demonstrate that I understand where my fault lies, and to articulate that, and make amends if possible.\n\nShouters are often people who have learned they can intimidate people to get their way. It's a bad habit. They need to be retrained. Don't reward bad behavior. Certainly you should refuse to be bullied and abused. Call them on it, refuse to participate, escape if you have to. On rare occasions, you have to give them a poke in the nose. I'm not advising anyone to give a bully a poke in the nose, but I am saying that I have given out a couple of pokes that were justified, and it seemed to help.", "I deal with this all the time. Tech Support. Empathize and say that you understand. Repeat their frustrations in your own words to show that you understand. Make their problem your problem and do what you can to fix it. Even if you can't fix it, find someone that can or someone that can. This is all just Support related besides showing that you understand, that's universal. You can control the conversation without getting emotional. Stick to being calm yourself and they will follow suit.", "Give them your attention and sit quietly while they discharge.\n\nOnce they start to believe that they *have been heard*, they'll start to be receptive to a reply.\n\nYour first reply should be a read-back of what you understood their point to be. When they hear the read-back, they will then be certain that *they were heard*. \n\nTHEN you can safely negotiate and perhaps even argue.\n\nExample:\n\nThem: \"Rrrraaaawwwwwrrrrr y'all suck I hate this I'm gonna sue I can't believe you would rrrrrraaaawwwwrrrr fuck this place fuck you!\"\n\nYou: /eye contact, listening quietly/\n\nThem: \"By the time I got this stupid piece of shit home, it was already broken, didn't even work for five minutes, what a stupid product, I can't believe you would sell me this!\"\n\nYou: (this is the readback) \"So you bought the product and it broke before you even got it home?\"\n\nThem: \"Right!\"\n\nYou: \"Okay, I see. How about we . . . \"\n\nAnd *now* he's listening, because he's confident you understand how he was wronged.\n\nThe readback is *everything*.\n", "Get a hold of the moment, this honestly has worked for me several times without upsetting the other person more. It puts the blame on \"the moment\" and offers the solution that they can control it by how they act or react. ", "From my own experience saying \"Why are you yelling?\" or \"Stop yelling at me\" never seems to work. Of course, why do I keep saying it then.. :(", "Flip the script. \n\n\"I am sorry, I feel like I am getting a bit emotional about this issue. Can we take a second to allow me to gather my thoughts and approach this discussion together in a more constructive manner?\"\n\nPeople love to feel superior/right. Put yourself in a place where you admit needing help to have the proper discuss, and maybe they will be an adult about it too. If not, well, some people just can't be helped. ", "First off empathize with them and let them know you understand what they're saying. Repeat what they're saying and try to understand what they're saying. ", "First listen. You can also ask a few questions but make sure they are about the facts and not making things worse. This conveys that you care and are actively listening. Then try to repeat back what they are trying to convey in non emotional terms and in your own words. You want to ask if what you said was what they were trying to convey. If they have calmed down enough, you can then state your perspective. If they have not, tell them you can't understand them but will try to once they have calmed down and can communicate properly.", "Escalate the heat of the discussion until you come out into the calm waters of cold fury on the other side.", "Don't. If you want to say this, chances are the topic is uncomfortable to the person you are talking to, and they don't want to be calm about it.", "Don't join in. If a person is becoming hostile the worst thing you can do is make them think they are being unreasonable. Most people are defensive and self-centered, they yell because they want to intimidate you or deter you from confronting them. It's a control tactic. They either force you to end the conversation or force you to abandon your tactic of a calm approach and join in. Either way they win something. If you are approaching a person known for being overly defensive and hostile you have to set up the conversation. Tell them that you want to talk with them about something without them getting angry. If they agree, then you have the upper hand because you can bring up the promise they made if things get heated. Be careful to not overplay that hand by rambling or having frequent confrontations. Be succinct, direct and objective. Being emotional only gives a hostile person a way in to their desire to unwind you. \n\nIf the person you are speaking with is unfamiliar to you, then abandon the conversation if they become hostile. Attempting to reason with an unreasonable person is as much about ego as it is about acutual reasoning. ", "Don't forget body language.\n\nSit down if possible, facing the person, generally act calm, but keeping eye contact.", "Doesnt necessarily always work, but if you say things like \"WE need to chill\" it makes it mutual and less accusatory than just saying it without the \"we\"", "Depends on the situation. If I'm at work and someone starts going off, I'll let them vent for a minute. Sometimes, I'll have to ask them to wait while I get pen and paper. This gives them time to collect their thoughts.\n\nThen, I'll politely interrupt and inform them that I'm trying to take notes (true) and they're speaking too quickly for me to write everything down (also true.) \n\nThis communicates to them that I'm not dismissing them (quite the opposite) and that I want to hear what they have to say. It also communicates to them that I take their concerns seriously enough to write down. Periodically, I can ask them to stop while I write a key point or phrase, and to explain something that I didn't catch. If they start going off about something in their file, I'll politely ask them to stop so I can look up what they're complaining about, calmly explaining that I want to address this \"right now.\" This shows them that I'm not giving them the run around.\n\nWhen you interrupt a tyrannical flow, you can ask an interim question, refocus them from anger to explanation, and diffuse a situation. You can then direct the conversation to possible resolutions vs. venting.", "Context will determine what will work. Phone calls are different, but for face to face encounters, I've found the following useful.\n\nWhy do people raise their voices? Mostly, they're afraid. Afraid they might lose money. Afraid they might lose status. Afraid they may be hurt in some unknown way; i.e. fear of the unknown or fear of the different.\n\nCombine the fear of the person who's shouting with the environment. If drunk or high, ask yourself why they got drunk or high. If injured, ask yourself if the injury is life threatening or just painful. If bullying is occurring, ask yourself if this bullying diminishes your status in your eyes.\n\nNotice that asking yourself a question can (not always) calm you down, which relaxes your shoulders, which tends to lead those around you to do the same. \n\nIf you lead the mind, the body will follow. This is one way to describe the mechanism of calming a conversation down. ", "Concede a point, even if it's something trivial it gives them the feeling that you're listening to them and willing to accept their point of view. ", "By asking them what you can do to help. \"Is there anything I can help you do to unstress? It seems like you have a lot of intense emotion coming out right now and I'm having trouble talking with you. What can I do to make you more comfortable and clear?\"", "Body language, smiling, changing the venue, listening, inviting the person to have a seat and sitting down yourself.\n\n''Why don't we have a seat over here so I can listen to what you have to say.''", "Best ways I find is having the ability to read people. I used to work security for community housing in Toronto and it's not a simple question. Sometimes as an authority figure you have the ability to just be directive but not use words like \"calm down\" or \"relax\"\n\nTactical communication oftentimes relies on asking a request and using the idea positive/negative reinforcement. I'd use humour when dealing with people who really didn't wanna see me to appeal to them. Stuff like \"Look, I don't wanna argue with you as much as you don't want to look at my ugly fuckin' face. But you and I both know I can't leave until you do.\" Most of the time people would try to argue and you could choose to appeal to them or direct them.\n\nNow that being said, not as an authority figure through my customer service jobs in the past, most of the time if someone's mad they're either genuinely angry but they need to get it out. People can't physically handle the mental exhaustion it takes to scream red in the face longer than a few minutes. If they can, there really isn't much you can do because honestly there's some deep seated issues. That being said, you can still be directive in such a way. People will antagonize you when they see it getting to you, so offen a calm approach is useful. I've had people throw punches at me in the past doing security, I've ducked the punch and let them hit a steel door...but I've let them walk away with arresting them. The reason is, the situation was entirely difused. The guy just felt stupid because I didn't even bother to actually try to fight him. \n\nNow I'm not saying \"let people beat you till they feel good again\" but that alone in verbal communication does help. People need to be able to get out what they wanna, insults, yelling, whatever. But they need to often. That's why having multiple people helps because one person can take in their anger and the other appeal to the other side of things. Good cop - bad cop, style of thinking. \n\nBut in a 1 on 1 situation you need to remember, no amount of training, tricks or anything can let you control another person. People are who they are. You just have to analyze a person and have a response that feels appropriate to the situation. I learned if from working customer service for around 7 years, than a few of security and instructing/learning martial arts from a young age forward.\n\nAnyways, if you have any direct questions about this, let me know. It's hard to give a concise catch all answer. ", "As a 9-1-1 dispatcher, one technique I use to calm callers down is saying their name a few times, especially if they are talking over me. ", "Always add bro to the end of the statement to show how well you relate to your friend. Ie: you mad bro? Or; Chill brah.", "A lot of these tips have to do with pissed off customers, or people angry about problems you can help them solve.\n\nWhat about a friend who loves bringing up politics and world events, then getting angry about the state of America and \"how this nation is going downhill\" etc etc, while you sit there thinking, \"Oh, man, not this shit again.\"\n\nBecause I'd really love a way to fucking stop that in its tracks.", "A great trick I've figured out is to smile and be their friend. I've worked in customer service as a manager which means I get all the super pissed off people that the rest of the employees can't handle. What I do is walk up to the customer, introduce myself with a smile, ask them what their story is and just try to make them happy however I can. This works over the phone too, if you smile over the phone, although they obviously can't see it, it does get through!", "1 Spark small chat. \n2 if the person is incapable of simple small chat etiquette, they are most likely incapable of having a relaxed and civil conversation. ", "\"let's start over.\"\n\nUse \"I\" instead of \"you\".\n\n\"You're yelling at me\" versus \"I'm having trouble following your thoughts.\"\n\nAcknowledge the person's feelings. \"I can see that you're upset and I want to talk about this without upsetting you more. Can we start over?\"", "\"Okay, I hear you.\"\n\"Okay, I'm listening\"\n\"Seems like you're angry, how can I help you?\"\nRepeat as needed.", "\"I think we're both getting a little heated in the matter, maybe we should cool off before resuming this conversation. Cunt.\"", "\"I think WE need to take a step back from this subject/conversation/topic\". Calming, non-confrontational body language helps too. Try physically stepping back a little to give the person space.", "\"I can see you're really upset. Please take a deep breath, I want to fix this but I have a hard time getting all you're saying when you yell\"", "\"Alright why don't you take it down a notch, I'll scale back what I'm doing, ok?\" - read this in Colin Quinn's voice. " ]

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[ "What to do with old screws, nuts, bolts, tools, etc? I'm trying to help my parents declutter their house and my dad has a tool box in the garage full of old screws, bolts, washers, and other old tools he's accumulated over the years. It's a complete mess and rather than sort them out, he buys a new set of screw or bolt heads leading to the current issue. I'm ready to just toss all the old and rusted scraps that are there but just want to get some suggestions on maybe another way to dispose of them, whether it be recycling or donating them.", "What to do with old screws, nuts, bolts, tools, etc? I'm trying to help my parents declutter their house and my dad has a tool box in the garage full of old screws, bolts, washers, and other old tools he's accumulated over the years. It's a complete mess and rather than sort them out, he buys a new set of screw or bolt heads leading to the current issue. I'm ready to just toss all the old and rusted scraps that are there but just want to get some suggestions on maybe another way to dispose of them, whether it be recycling or donating them.", "What to do with old screws, nuts, bolts, tools, etc? I'm trying to help my parents declutter their house and my dad has a tool box in the garage full of old screws, bolts, washers, and other old tools he's accumulated over the years. It's a complete mess and rather than sort them out, he buys a new set of screw or bolt heads leading to the current issue. I'm ready to just toss all the old and rusted scraps that are there but just want to get some suggestions on maybe another way to dispose of them, whether it be recycling or donating them." ]

[ "Well, every mechanic keeps old nuts and bolts, but at some point you have to take a few hours to sort them out. If you're not willing to do that, or dig through to find what you need when you need it, and just go buy new every time, then yeah, it's a waste of space. \n\nDon't throw them out, though. Offer them free to a good home and you will get a taker, especially if there are tools in the mix.", "Get a large magnet and put a pile of them (the non-sharp ones) on it. You can then stack and sculpt them to each other as long as they are connected to the magnet. This works well for nuts.", "Are you at long last ready to take up the mantle?\n\nCarry it home, buy a speedsuit, then sort the fasteners in your garage.\n\nOnly then will you be a man." ]

[ 4, 3, 1 ]

[ "Memorizing unfamiliar vocabulary (for GRE exams) So I'm not a native English speaker planning on taking my GREs (an exam to get into grad school) early next year. There's an entire section on the test concerning vocabulary where they test you on unfamiliar and words that won't usually be used in an everyday context. I do have some practice 'flash cards' but find it ridiculously difficult to memorize them. I've tried various methods of memorization such as visualization, linking it to my current memories but nothing seems to work. I would greatly appreciate any help on the matter- any books I could read, or habits I could pick up that would make the memorization process more effective. Thanks a lot in advance.", "Memorizing unfamiliar vocabulary (for GRE exams) So I'm not a native English speaker planning on taking my GREs (an exam to get into grad school) early next year. There's an entire section on the test concerning vocabulary where they test you on unfamiliar and words that won't usually be used in an everyday context. I do have some practice 'flash cards' but find it ridiculously difficult to memorize them. I've tried various methods of memorization such as visualization, linking it to my current memories but nothing seems to work. I would greatly appreciate any help on the matter- any books I could read, or habits I could pick up that would make the memorization process more effective. Thanks a lot in advance." ]

[ "Spaced repetition. I was using Anki, they have nice prebuilt GRE word lists, look for ones with example sentences, that helps a lot. Make a habit out of studying them every day, preferably on your phone (I was doing it on public transport to & from school / work, 50 new words per day is doable this way).\n\nAlso, for the hardest to remember words: http://mnemonicdictionary.com/, they have lots of ideas for mnemonics, you can pick the one you like best.", "Not sure of this would help you but I normally come up with something to associate the word with. \n\nFor example: \n\nWhen I studied the icao code for countries in aviation. The code for the country Chad is FT. So I came up with \"fuck that chad\" and that help me thru remembering all the country codes. YMMV on this." ]

[ 2, 1 ]

[ "How to walk more lightly? apparently i stomp when i walk, and it's very annoying for those who live below me (i'm just a small woman so it isn't weight related). How can I walk more lightly on my feet?", "How to walk more lightly? apparently i stomp when i walk, and it's very annoying for those who live below me (i'm just a small woman so it isn't weight related). How can I walk more lightly on my feet?", "How to walk more lightly? apparently i stomp when i walk, and it's very annoying for those who live below me (i'm just a small woman so it isn't weight related). How can I walk more lightly on my feet?", "How to walk more lightly? apparently i stomp when i walk, and it's very annoying for those who live below me (i'm just a small woman so it isn't weight related). How can I walk more lightly on my feet?", "How to walk more lightly? apparently i stomp when i walk, and it's very annoying for those who live below me (i'm just a small woman so it isn't weight related). How can I walk more lightly on my feet?", "How to walk more lightly? apparently i stomp when i walk, and it's very annoying for those who live below me (i'm just a small woman so it isn't weight related). How can I walk more lightly on my feet?", "How to walk more lightly? apparently i stomp when i walk, and it's very annoying for those who live below me (i'm just a small woman so it isn't weight related). How can I walk more lightly on my feet?" ]

[ "I'm 25% Native American. My paternal Grandpa is full blooded - back when he could still walk without a walker, he taught me how to slink through the forest with minimal trace. \n\nIt's a stealth mindset - spread the impact of the foot fall across the front pads of your feet, without ever transferring your entire weight to the grounded foot. Instead, let momentum carry your weight into the next foot's step. \nThe step movement is very quick, with a rapid deceleration just before impact with the ground.\n\n\nAs I type it out it's much harder to explain via text.. Grandpa explained it, showed me how, then smacked me in the head with a newspaper until I got it.", "Shift your weight to the balls of your feet a bit. Almost like going tiptoe but without actually raising your feet. Stompers strike the ground heel first, usually heavily. It takes consciousness, but becomes second nature after a bit. ", "I agree that those neighbors won't ever be satisfied. \n\nOne thing you could do, is practice walking around with a full cup of water. That's what steadicam operators do which essentially makes you stealthy like a ninja. Without all the assassination stuffs of course.", "Buy and wear slippers, stealthy bunny slippers. Serious the slip on will change your gait plus cushion noise. ", "Tip\\Rock your weight forward onto your toes slightly. We do this in ballet. \nIn modern its totally different being heavy footed is a good thing. You're walking on your heels. Most likely. ", "Land your heel softly down first, the roll gently to your toes. \n\nSource: I am creepily good at sneaking up to people. ", "Become light on your feet by jump roping using the shortest jump possible but increase the speed as you get better. Boxers do this to be light and agile on their feet. " ]

[ 9, 3, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "removing new furniture odour (off-gassing) Bought a new chest of drawers, but because it is cheap it has a very nasty chemical smell. Is there anyway to remove it quickly? Can't keep clothes in it right now and I will still have to live out of my suitcase till then.", "removing new furniture odour (off-gassing) Bought a new chest of drawers, but because it is cheap it has a very nasty chemical smell. Is there anyway to remove it quickly? Can't keep clothes in it right now and I will still have to live out of my suitcase till then.", "removing new furniture odour (off-gassing) Bought a new chest of drawers, but because it is cheap it has a very nasty chemical smell. Is there anyway to remove it quickly? Can't keep clothes in it right now and I will still have to live out of my suitcase till then.", "removing new furniture odour (off-gassing) Bought a new chest of drawers, but because it is cheap it has a very nasty chemical smell. Is there anyway to remove it quickly? Can't keep clothes in it right now and I will still have to live out of my suitcase till then." ]

[ "While I have no proof this will work, it is worth a try. Remove the drawers and put them in sunlight. Sunlight breaks down other chemicals, why not the ones causing a bad odor?\n\nYou could also try using a mild soap and water and do a rub down.\n\nOr go nuclear and just Pledge the crap out of it to mask it.", "Heat and ventilation are your friend. The odor will remain until the volatile components are gone. Higher temperatures will cause the off-gassing to accelerate. Constant airflow across the surface of the furniture will remove the surface layer of gas and theoretically speed up the out-gassing as well. If you can put it outside then that might work, otherwise open up the drawers (or pull them out entirely) and set up a fan to blow across them and out of the room.\n\nA quick wipedown with some kind of cleaner (not just water) might also help if there is something on the surface that is causing the odor. More than likely it is not something deposited on the surface, unfortunately.", "Unused coffee grounds and baking soda, leave the drawer open enough for air circulation. Should take care of it in a couple of days", "My mom used to keep wrapped bars of soap in the dresser drawers. It's cheap, safe, gives the drawer & it's contents a fresh smell, and usually won't harm anything." ]

[ 4, 3, 2, 1 ]

[ "How to start reading books on a regular basis. Every time I am on my computer, I am greeted by a bookshelf with tons of books I never got around to read. So I come to you LifeProTipers, what tips do you have to sit down and read a book? All help is appreciated, thanks.", "How to start reading books on a regular basis. Every time I am on my computer, I am greeted by a bookshelf with tons of books I never got around to read. So I come to you LifeProTipers, what tips do you have to sit down and read a book? All help is appreciated, thanks.", "How to start reading books on a regular basis. Every time I am on my computer, I am greeted by a bookshelf with tons of books I never got around to read. So I come to you LifeProTipers, what tips do you have to sit down and read a book? All help is appreciated, thanks.", "How to start reading books on a regular basis. Every time I am on my computer, I am greeted by a bookshelf with tons of books I never got around to read. So I come to you LifeProTipers, what tips do you have to sit down and read a book? All help is appreciated, thanks.", "How to start reading books on a regular basis. Every time I am on my computer, I am greeted by a bookshelf with tons of books I never got around to read. So I come to you LifeProTipers, what tips do you have to sit down and read a book? All help is appreciated, thanks.", "How to start reading books on a regular basis. Every time I am on my computer, I am greeted by a bookshelf with tons of books I never got around to read. So I come to you LifeProTipers, what tips do you have to sit down and read a book? All help is appreciated, thanks." ]

[ "1. Grab book from bookshelf\n2. Sit Down\n3. Open book, this is where it gets tricky. You can't just open it to any page, you have to find the right one, normally at the front of the book but not the very front. Maybe 4-5 pages in after a few pages with publication information, book title, chapter headings, other non-important stuff, should have a little \"1\" in one of the corners. Unless it has a prologue or an introduction, then it might have letters in the corner instead of numbers. But don't worry you can probably skip those and be fine. Just find that page that probably says Chapter One at the top.\n4. Begin Reading, remember start with the word in the top left corner of the page then, left to right, top to bottom. \n5. The rest should take care of itself, you'll get the hang of it after a few pages. ", "I bet you have trouble finding books that interest you. That's the hardest part about reading steadily for me. Start reading biographies. Think of a famous person that you like and read the story of their life. For me thats JFK and Abraham Lincoln at the moment. Or think of a topic or subject that you enjoy.", "Read 8 pages a day -- It doesn't feel like a lot and at the end of the year you've read at the very least 2920 pages....or about 10 books", "Get a library card. Then ask friends to recommend books to you. \n \nRead before turning out the light to sleep. Reading an actual book will relax you more than reading on the computer (or tablet).", "You could try audiobooks. I know people who like to listen to books in the car and stuff. It's a smaller time investment, as you can do something else while you do it. Once you find some subject matter you really like you could start sitting down to read.\n\nHopefully, your problem isn't that you just buy stuff off the bestseller list all the time.", "I experience the same problem! I do like reading and I have a lot of books, but I just like watching movies or tv-shows this little bit more, so instead of opening a book I watch a next episode...\nThe hardest part really is the beginning, was you started you should be sucked into the book, if not, it's not a good book (for you)" ]

[ 17, 8, 4, 4, 2, 2 ]

[ "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n", "How can I be less of a bland person and more of a shiny, charismatic person? I don’t have a lot of friends. Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person. And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change because it doesn’t feel like it.\n\n" ]

[ "Try things, find a hobby, things to be passionate about. Learn to enjoy being outside of your comfort zone. Learn to really listen instead of waiting to speak. Ask questions, make people feel valued", "Ok so I suggest:\n\n- do something out of your comfort zone, an activity, travel, get a bartending job one night a week. Do something that’s going to be so full of fun that you’ll have great stories to tell. Some of my favourite moments have been found just saying Yes to new things!\n\n- Challenge yourself to learn a new skill. Tai Kwon Do? Adult gymnastics? Crochet, paint, build a new garden bed, join a pottery class, attend your local hardware stores learning classes, learn to sew, learn to skateboard, take cooking classes, drum lessons. \n\n- Bring back an old hobby you haven’t visited for a while and come at if from a new angle. \n\n- GIVE. Give freely. Smile at people. Donate your change, tell someone how great they look, notice a fresh haircut. Laugh at dumb jokes. Ask someone from work to eat lunch with you and learn about them. Volunteer to hug kittens at a shelter. Build a community pantry. Go above and beyond for deserving people; treat everyone like you love them. \n\n- Get a therapist. Talking to someone like this can help so very much in learning to love yourself. \n\nI bet you’re not boring! Sounds like you’re young - I wasn’t even vaguely interesting until my late 20s, where I stopped giving a fuck about what anyone else thought and started making choices and taking chances to make my life lovely. Now in my 30s and the secret they don’t want you to know isssss…. It just gets better and better my friend. \n\nLove ya, internet stranger!\n\n", "Sit back and relax. Let the other person talk and ask simple questions about the topic. Drive the conversation such that the other person has to continue talking. \n\nWhen you do talk, do it with authority and purpose. Be sure in your ideas and resolute in your passions. \n\nYouTube can give you some ways to do what you want, such as, speech pacing, managing pauses appropriately, etc. \n\nYou really just need to act like you know what the hell you’re talking about and own it! Ramble and do not let others interrupt your cascade of lunacy.", "there are so many great YouTube videos on how to be charismatic. Ryan reynolds is a great example. He doesn’t take himself too seriously, smiles, makes other people feel at ease when talking to them, finds ways to joke around and laugh. \n\n \ni know you don’t want to hear it but I used to be ridiculously quiet and shy. When I met my husband we were just friends for many years. I thought he was so charismatic and I looked up to him for it. When I would be somewhere without him and uncomfortable I would think what would he do or say in this situation and I would try to emulate how I thought he would act. It was totally fake it till you make it. I was so uncomfortable not knowing anyone in college but I pretended I wasn’t. All of a sudden I got used to being more outgoing and I realized that by faking it, I became way more comfortable putting myself out there and being more of the center of attention. \n\n\nYears and years later I told my husband that I used to use him as inspiration. And he told me a secret. He was often uncomfortable in situations that I always assumed he was perfectly at ease when we were in groups with people we didnt know. \n\n\nSo there you go. Other people don’t perceive you nearly as harshly as you think they do. So, put yourself out there and people will be really impressed that you seem so comfortable because really most people feel the way you do", "Tl:dr Find people who get excited when you get excited. Then meet their friends. \n\nTo me, “being interesting” is akin to finding community which has two parts I can name at the moment. The first is finding things that make you excited and finding others that get excited by similar things. That’s the straight forward answer. \n\nThe second and harder answer is finding lovely human beings who get excited when you get excited about something. Finding people who create space to celebrate you with no strings. They may not get it, but they love it for you. \n\nBoth are difficult and fraught in the beginning because you have to put yourself out there. But once you find your people and create an inner circle you can then connect to their tangential circles who vibe similarly. You’ll then curate and create new circles.", "Get involved in a lot of hobbies or creative works of art. That will give you things to talk about and even show.", "It's important to fine what you like and listen carefully to someone eles's. I think good listener is more atrractive than good speaker. It could make you more shniy person.", "If you are bored with yourself, you’ll bore other people. Find out what’s interesting about you to you and I promise other people will begin to find you very interesting!", "> Sometimes, I can feel people getting bored with me. So I think I’m just a boring person.\n\nThis is a pretty common insecurity especially in teenagers but certainly not limited to teenagers. You say you don’t have a lot of friends but do the ones you do have think you’re boring? If not, you’re not boring. You can be an interesting or ordinary person and still have a small friend circle.\n\nJust something to consider… but if you want to be more charismatic, that’s a very different goal.\n\nFirst, figure out what your actual goal is. Do you want more attention? Do you want people to like you more? Do you want a larger friend group? Do you want to feel closer to your friends? And be honest with yourself. These are all totally normal desires that almost everyone experiences at some point.\n\nIf you want attention, that depends a lot on your social circle. I was a magician at your age and that got me a lot of attention. I’m not recommending it but it’s an example. The point is that standing out gets attention and a particularly engaging and social hobby will do that.\n\nIf you want people to like you, that’s, counterintuitively, a lot less about you. People love to talk about themselves. Ask them about themselves. Talk about what they like. Pick up a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People (or find one free online) and read that.\n\nIf you want a larger friend group, pick up a hobby and it’ll be easy to make friends who share that hobby. Your post history is all about TV. TV is a hobby. It gets shit on a lot but it’s a hobby and you can absolutely connect to people on the basis of liking the same shows. Start watch parties together. You’ll have more friends.\n\nIf you want to feel closer to your friends, a good way to get there is opening up to them more. Tell them you’re afraid you’re boring. Be emotionally vulnerable and they will too. You’ll not only grow closer but you’ll also find out that they don’t find you boring. If they did, they wouldn’t be your friends…\n\nSo think about what exactly you want and go from there. The ways I listed are just some examples of how to go about it but there are lots of ways.", "Practice. Fake it until you make it. Start playing a shiny charismatic person and you’ll become one. \n\nYes it’s going to be scary to put yourself out there and no you won’t please everyone.\n\nIf you start doubting yourself just ask, what would a shiny and charismatic person do in this situation? E.g. not be self-conscious, laugh it off, move on etc. And then do it.", "Find the novelty in anything you encounter in life. You’ll grow some quirks, learn some things. People like talking about themselves. So be warm, inviting and ask good questions, dig a little deep and most people will like your curiosity. Provided it’s genuine and not creepy.", "Read How to Win Friends and Influence People. By Carlisle. The title is weird but it’s an old book with amazing stories and tips.", "The hobby comments are all solid advice, but if that’s not resonating you could also try volunteering somewhere. Sounds weird but I like helping people, and volunteering to help with some community events helped me to meet people and some of those connections turned into strong lasting friendships.\n\nI also like to fix things, especially anything mechanical, so that’s an example where I’m using a passion to help someone with a vehicle problem, or even finding old lawnmowers so I can fix them up to give them to someone in need. It’s amazing how anything yours good at OR passionate about can be the foundation for social success…\n\nLast point, don’t worry about what other people “might” think about you, and don’t fall into the trap of assuming that people are thinking the worst things about you. Those are just insecurities playing mind games with you. You get one life, do things that make you happy and don’t let your imagination hold you back!\n\nI feel like I just wrote a response that I would have loved to have told myself 30 years ago, sorry if I took a bit of a tangent from the original question but I’m going to leave it…", "My best advice is to socialize while doing something active with others. Then it won’t feel like there always needs to be conversation. Join a rec sports team, hiking group, etc.", "I’ve always been told that I’m very charismatic. I approach everyone I meet like a new friend. I’m very outgoing and talkative by nature. My husband is definitely more of an introvert and I love him for it. He is SUCH a great listener and is my calm, still water that runs deep. I guess the point I’m trying to make is that not everyone is a born extrovert and there’s nothing wrong with being who you are. There’s also nothing wrong with stepping outside your comfort zone. I guess my best suggestion is just to treat everyone you meet like a new friend that is happy to see you and as others have said, give them the opportunity to talk about themselves, we love it!! Best of luck to you!!", "I think often it’s more about listening to others than being interesting. Everybody is selfish and mostly want to talk about themselves, when you listen to them they like you more and trust you more and then ultimately are more willing to listen to you.\n\nMaybe I sounds cynical but I think I’m right? Lol", "Practice. Don’t wait to talk to the people you find most interesting; talk to everyone. First you will start to be less apprehensive. Then you’ll find some things that work, wether it’s questions, jokes, stories, mannerisms… eventually you will find a voice that works for you. \n\nThe advice above is great as well. You can do this!", "If you love yourself, others will love you. Simple as that. And sometimes you’re just surrounded by people that don’t appreciate you for you. Stay true to yourself and everything else will fall into place", "Find what brings you joy and focus on that. The rest will fall into place but you need to find that thing which feeds your soul.", "Don't do things for others to find you interesting. Do them for yourself, wathever makes your heart flutter, your mood go up, things that put a smile on your face. It doesn't have to be anything crazy or adventurous or \"weird\". Wathever truly makes you feel happy, do it with no filters. Filling yourself with happiness is the first step to make others see your light.", "This is my honest advice gained from living my life: Have hobbies. Do things in your life. If you are creative, explore that with passion. \n\nDo not build a life that consists mostly of staying home and watching tv. This is not necessarily a bad life, and I know a lot of people that like living this way. Most of my family live this life, but it does not lead to a life full of friends or to a life full of fun experiences.", "Smiling will make you smile. It may not last all day but if you smile on pupose and laugh on purposed you may find you are laughing at yourself. At least your laughing..", "People don’t give a fuck what someone has to say a lot of the time wether they realize or care to admit it themselves. Being attentive and responsive to people talking bout themselves and their interest and bringing what they say up at a later time to show you listened works wonders for getting friends. Ik a guy who is psycho but popular asf and he intentionally does this to people to make himself subliminally be a subject of want for others. Creepy how effective it is.", "Just be yourself and don't worry about what other people think of you. You'll be happier, and people are attracted to that", "Just be you. Do what you do, and the right people will come to you. It's harder to maintain inauthenticity over long periods just to maintain relationships.\n\nI wish I knew that when I was young. So much energy wasted trying to be inauthentic for the sake of others.", "I struggle with similar feelings when I was younger, in my case, the words in my head were \"I wanted to be so impressive to everybody I met.\"\n\nSo I tried to think of what impressive people did and then I tried to do that. I will admit it kind of worked. But it never quite felt like me.\n\nThis year I had a huge perspective shift. I got back into running after taking two years off to let an injury heal, and I was just so happy that running didn't hurt that I started to do it more. I also started to think about my health more often and that also drove me to do it more. I've been running three to four times a week for the past few months because I really like it, and because I want to.\n\nOn one of these runs, I realized I had become one of those \"impressive\" people who runs consistently. But instead of trying to be impressive and *acting* like it, I was finally simply being myself, and that *was* impressive.\n\nIt's a much more satisfying feeling.\n\nNote that I'm not trying to discr", "Get away from social media for a while. It just makes everyone try to be accepted by the norm and ultimately turns you bland and vanilla. Go out and have real conversations with real people.", "Embrace yourself. Love you for your own quirks. People will follow your lead. \n\nSame is true for negative thoughts, stay positive.", "Change your perception’ perception of them perceiving you. It’s easier than putting on a jester hat. \n\nIf you’re not careful your gonna be surrounded by a bunch of assholes", "When I was 22 years old, I didn't know what to do with my life. I decided to take a TESOL certification class, and then I moved to China to teach English. \n\nI was so worried at that time that I was making a mistake by doing something different than what was expected of me. But, most of the adults that I spoke to (sans my parents) were super supportive of the idea and said I should go explore the world while I was young. \n\nIt was quite a year. I ended up being placed 5 hours outside of Shanghai. Worked 4 days a week and traveled throughout China the other 3 days (they have an excellent rail system). Got deported (long story), hiked 24 hours in one of the mountain ranges bc the one hotel on the mountain canceled my reservations, tried different foods, took many buses and trains, saw many sites, and met plenty of random people. \n\nReflecting back, that experience really helped me grow as a person and gave me so many stories and grew my confidence because i was faced with so many different scenarios. \n\nMaybe you don't need to move to another country at a whim, but doing something that is outside what you normally do, taking a chance on something different, might help you find what you are looking for. Good luck!", "Try joining an improve group or toastmasters. Joining a book or running club. Pick a literary franchise and commit yourself to reading all of it.", "Try going to s therapist, according to the humanist school of Thout in he topic of motivation, the self realization of a person enables the spontaneous actions that you might perceive as shiny and interesting, having some unmet necessity might be blocking you from realizing who you are and in tern being unable to perceive yourself as unique and interesting to others.", "To be honest, you simply gotta LIVE YOUR LIFE! Go outside, be weird, make mistakes. That way you have a ton of stories to tell whenever you are around people lol\nI hope this makes sense......", "There is a fantastic book \"The charisma myth\" that shows: it's not something you have to be born with. Its breaks down beautifully what it takes to develop the trait.", "Take an interest in others. Ask them questions and then follow up questions. Also, learn their names and say them casually e.g “goodbye Frank” instead of just “goodbye”", "Show genuine interest in your friends interests. \nAsk a lot of questions, and listen intently to the answers. \nBe a nice and kind person. \n\nIt’s okay if youre not naturally funny and making them laugh all the time. \nBeing a kind person is something anyone can do though and this world needs more of that.", "Read books, learn a few jokes, go out more often, learn a skill, find a hobby. If you're having a conversation, listen more than talk. Ask questions. To start or dig deep into a conversation use the FORD method (ask about family, occupation, recreation, dreams)", "Learn to accept who / what you are instead of wanting to be someone else or 'like' someone else. You don't know how they suffer, but they do! We all suffer in one way or another, so just be yourself learn to be comfortable with who you are, friends or no friends. What's really important is that you are comfortable being you, whatever faults you have, whatever fears you have. It is possible to be happy by yourself, get into some hobbies, that way you have a much better chance of meeting like minded people or at the very least people who like similar things to you.\n\nUltimately you'll probably find a small number of friends and that is really all anyone needs, maintaining a lot of friends is tiresome and frankly a waste of time, usually people who are being used all the time are the ones who have lots of friends.", "I am a boring person or as you called it bland if anyone doesn't like me or is by being with or finds my hobbies boring well then the door they leave from will welcome many others bland or not my friends are diverse \n\nIf you think you need to be charismatic here is a YouTube channel \n\n\nCharisma on command \n\nGood stuff about confidence and charisma", "Have you tried looking outside of yourself? All due respect, I'm 38 now, and I'm sure that sounds older than I feel, but in my experience.. \n\nThey say \"Everyone likes to talk about themselves\" which is a lot of the advice people are giving you, instead of looking to what you can see or hear from Others that they like. Whether or not something they were wearing, or mentioned, was MY personal favorite, if they pulled it off, of they seemed insecure, it helps to let them know you notice, and they're \"rockin' it\" (a phrase that people would usually respond well to, and it's not about approval, or excitement, it's about validating others, and through that, they see you and them share a common perspective, or at least that you showed support when they might not have had much).\nMy point is, instead of trying to \"be catchy\" try catching their vibes, providing support, and listening. \n\nThat last one should have been first. You'd be surprised how few people actually listen! I'm sure that's what you're seeking, in some way as well, acceptance, validation, and approval that you, as you, are as funny and enthralling as you would hope. \n\nWhen I felt like I was talking too much (later diagnosed with adhd, had it my whole life though) I used to try and speak 3 words at a time. It was an exercise in saying as much as possible with as few words. Just talking less in general will make when you do speak more impactful. It's easy to \"flood\" conversations in attempt to be funny, or heard, or understood, and it is common for others, also seeking similar validation in their own ways, to tune out, si.ply due to bandwidth, let alone, their own focus on themselves.\n\nTLDR version: \n#1 Listen. People will tell you their interests so you don't have to guess and try so hard to be something neither of you want.\n\n#2 Talk less and say what is most important, and remember to be kind and supportive to all.\n\n#3 Be respectful, Keep the \"good\" people close, move on th people that don't respect you. They will move on from you, as will the \"good\" people, unless you're also good to them. My best friends are from HS and earlier, and, things change. They had kids, me and buddies have gfs at different times, and not riding a bus to the same place, are where your life becomes yours, and you'll never be as exciting as a baby doing something dumb (per David Cross lol).\n\nBest of luck! \nAbove all else, to thine own self be true.", "Go out of your comfort zone. Start of by asking for directions, asking how long people will take on the gym equipment, just smiling and nodding at people that make eye contact with you. \n\nSlowly build up where you start asking people quesitons and having conversations with them. \n\nTravel, leave your comfort zone, do fun things, try your best to be a happy person. \n\nNo one likes to hang around sad people.", "For me a huge thing was getting my mental health in check. I was radiating bad vibes because I was feeling bad. I take meds for depression, fixed my eating habits and take adhd meds too and am steadily feeling much better, in turn I am making new friendships and fixing old ones.", "Don’t worry about whether others find you interesting. Don’t live your life for others. Be interested in the things you find interesting and find communities of others who share those interests.", "Befriend a charismatic person. \n\nI am a charismatic person. People are drawn to me. I am always noticed when I walk in a room. Instead of trying to play it down, I decided to lean into it. I looooove people like you. You bring peace and calming. And I also feel like the “boring” (such an unfortunate way to look at it!) person gains something from people like me. I love watching them grow socially too. \n\nAccept yourself as you are.", "Based on the post, OP will need to accept jokes about everything and then just practice talking and being positive.\nHealthy Diet and exercise are important for mental health, too, which is important for being able to be happy and charismatic.", "Ask people about themselves, really listen, and they will like and appreciate you for it.\n\nNote who asks you back about your life and interests, and build those relationships, because you deserve to have friends who care about you and how you are doing, not just what they can get out of you.\n\nRelationships should not be transactional; if we treat them as such, we get what we pay for.", ">when I grow up and be in my twenties\n\nIf a 5 year old said all this to you, how would you feel?\n\nThat is how it feels to me when you, a teenager, say it.\n\nFirst of all, you will learn and grow.\n\nSecond, be interested in other people. Ask them about things they seem interested in and dig deep. Try to become interested yourself.", "“How to meet friends and influence people” is a little cheesy but it’s a classic for a reason. It’s also a good book to come back to. It will read at first like instructions on being a phoney, but whenever I come back to it the trick is that it needs to be genuine. Genuine interest in others, genuine joy to see and interact with people, etc. Maybe you have to fake it at first, but once you start it becomes easier and more natural. This is how you become ‘shiny and charismatic’ and not in a shallow way. It comes from sincerity. People see through the shallow and shiny anyway", "when 1 on 1: be a good listener, respond and contribute to conversations thoughtfully. in a group: if you have nothing of value to add, just wait until you do to speak up.\n\npeople will get quiet and listen to what you have to say if you don’t dominate conversations and have meaningful contributions. just good habits to practice early.", "the top comment has it (have interests)\n\nI wanted to also drop this one in - you can learn to be funny.", "some become fake interesting.You surely have something.. just talk about that to someone. You don't need to showoff or pretend like cringey insta girls to be charismatic, you can be yourself.", "saying things like \"And no, I won’t accept any jokes here or comments that when I grow up and be in my twenties things will change\"\n\nalready makes you sound like kind of a dick", "most people feel like this deep down, you are not alone, they just don't express it. things like social media give a false portrayal of people's lives and makes people feel inadequate. my tip would be to look into being a good listener (it is genuinely a skill). people love to talk about themselves, especially if they feel like they are being listened to. this will take the pressure off you in social situations.", "instead of being interesting, be interested. Ask people about themselves, their family, background and interests.\n\n Find something they know about that you don't, and just ask questions, this will lead to things you can share about yourself and discussions you can then have. \n\nThe more you do this, the more experiences, views, and opinions you will have to share which will make you more interesting.", "https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test \n\nTake the test and see what your strengths and weaknesses are. \n\nAt the end of the test click the tiny \"skip giving my email and go to results\" button. You don't need an account. \n\nI'll just say this once... It's not scientific... But I like to think of it more like looking in the mirror.", "find shit you like doing (even if you think it's boring) and talk about/share it with passion/enthusiasm and you'll be fine :) if some people still find that boring then that's on them not you cause you're having fun with your hobby like I (25m) love dinosaurs and when I talk about to them to friends or even girls when dating etc I do it with confidence and they all eat that shit up lol", "don't try to be anything other then who you are. I felt I was a boring, uninteresting person in my early 20's. But turns out I was still growing and discovering who I was. The only thing you can do is that, find out what you like to do and explore it.", "You need probably need some trauma sadly. I’ve come to learn that the more average and stable someone’s life is the more boring they tend to be. XD", "You may be boring but that’s not a bad thing. You know what’s not boring your girlfriend may be pregnant with someone else’s baby. Not boring but fuck that. Embrace your boredom but call it being responsible. Taking care of business is boring but it gets your shit together and makes life better in the long run.", "You become more interesting as a person when you become more interested in other people and the world around you. Build on your passions, learn more about them, ask more questions, surround yourself with those with similar interests.", "You asked the question so you are intelligent. Be the “It” in the movie Field of Dreams. Just be yourself and build yourself… Build it and they will come. If you want it too bad you’ll settle, and then… we’ll, that’s another ask leading to much darker territory.", "You are ok as you are. Don't try to change to get to an external goal because you'll just end up despising the acting you have to do.\n\nIf you find something fun to do and find friends via that, good for you. If not, get a cat and be alone. Trying to force yourself to get more people to like you won't work long term", "You are not even 20? Making friends is not hard. Don’t be condescending. Be open to new hobbies and interests. Listen more than speak. People don’t chose friends because they are “interesting”. They chose friends because they can connect with them, because they can rely on them and because they share common interests.", "Yo go read \"How to Win Friends and Influence People.\" Pretty much you have to just ask people about them. People love talking about themselves so just keep asking people about them and they will naturally like you.", "While these tips can work to an extent, the hard truth is that some people just are inherently more charismatic than others. There was a guy in my school who was the absolute boss of every class & club he walked into. Not a word was needed; everyone just instantly gathered around him and did whatever he suggested. He didn't have any special skills, and while he was upper middle class, it's not like everyone knew that.", "What do you find interesting or enjoyable about other people? I'd focus there. Not shininess or charisma necessarily, not in a flaunt-y focused way or impression focused way. More what is that that genuinely makes other people good to be around, to you? Then explore growing those skills for yourself, but in your own way too. Fake is never attractive.", "What are you excited about? \n\nBe all the way excited about those things around people. They totally may not care at all. But- a lot of the time just someone being passionate about anything is more interesting than cynicism.", "Well, I can't give u more of the opinion, cuz im just practically bland! But ey, I love ma'life...just books would suffice 4 me...", "Uh...try listening for a change...when you don't listen and care about what people say...guess what? Your boring...once you start listening and hearing what others are saying, you'll be able to converse and meaningful conversations...why do I know this? Because that was once me and I had no friends\n..I thought I was better than everyone else and didn't care what they had to say", "Try new things and have experiences and then talk about the ones you liked. That should be pretty interesting naturally and be fun for you too", "Try do something within your community for example perhaps donate a little of your time and go to a soup bank/soup kitchen, where you would serve a warm meal to homeless people. Not only would it be a worth while thing to do but you’d meet other people also helping others. With that, those people who donate their time and help feed those less fortunate than us, are often not only understanding but you could find a person to take you under their wing. \n\nObviously this is only a suggestion but something long those lines would benefit you as you get to practice your interactions with people. \n\nThis is something I do often, and I get to meet so many amazing people.", "Tripping on shrooms many times has made me way more extroverted and chill in social settings. I used to have social anxiety and felt everyone judged me and my appearance. This is no longer the case and it's so liberating.\n\nDo it at your own risk obviously.", "Travel! See the world, have adventures, and meet people with different perspectives. Engage with locals, learn about history and geography and architecture and culture. Struggle to have a basic conversation in another language, eat exotic food and just wander around.\nYour life will be enriched and you'll more interesting.", "Travel or move. \n\nPeople in different places are different. They act differently, have different typical interests, befriend in a very different manner.\n\nFor instance I live in Israel and I find that Americans are very different culturally from me. I just don’t get along with them very well. However I know quite a few people who moved from Israel to the USA and totally found themselves at home. I believe it works both ways. \n\nAlso when traveling you’ll meet lots of friendly people especially if you travel on your own. \n\nIt will shape your perception of yourself and let you zoom in on what you like and good ways for you to feel comfortable. \n\nThese tips are kind of last resort IMO but also they can be quite fun.", "To help you out, if you are good at a sport hopefully basketball go to the courts ask to join a game and you will actually make friends easy that way be super blunt tell them you will see them tomorrow, none of that shy bs", "To get people interested in you, you must be interested in them first. Ask them something about them, people love talking about themselves and you won't have to talk about yourself too much.", "To consolidate the main themes people have commented: \nGet interested. Find things that interest you and talk about them. Find ways to find people interesting. \nThat second part is important, feigning interest in others is better than nothing, but very little makes people feel more valued than someone taking a genuine interest in the things they care about. \nEveryone has something that makes them interesting, the trick is to make a conscious effort to look for it, and to give people the space to share it.", "To be more interesting you need to be more interested. Learn more about everything, or about some specific things. Read. Try things that might be weird or uncomfortable just to see what it's like. Take a genuine interest in the interests of those around you.\n\nThat way not only will people like to hear what you have to say, but they'll like that you want to hear what they have to say too.", "This sounds like who I used to be and this sounds like depression, with which I am very familiar. This is gonna go all over the place but it's genuine and it's all my actual experience so hopefully some of this resonates with you.\n\nA lack of friends and trying to make friends can become a viscous cycle that is difficult to break. Step one is feeling better about yourself by being okay with being alone. Develop yourself so you can have fun and be happy alone, and people will be drawn to you because you have a positive demeanor. Simple example: some people don't like going to a restaurant or to the movies alone, they feel self conscious. Truth is, it doesn't matter, no one cares, and no one's staring at you, and if they are then they're not the friends you want anyway so it doesn't matter. But now you have something to talk about if anyone is talking about that movie. You don't have to tell them you went alone, and even if you do, own it. I do it all the time. I've only heard people admit that they're the self-conscious ones who would be uncomfortable going alone, not that it's weird that I do. This is the confidence part.\n\nWhen you hear people talk about \"confidence is key\" what they mean is that you're comfortable being yourself, and that you can simply be positive. It's not some secret personality trait that you either have or you don't. You don't want to be a downer, but don't strive to be the over-energetic loud one. Trust me, people get sick of that guy after a while.\n\nYou mentioned charisma. Charisma is all about interpersonal communication. Introverts (me being one) struggle with it a lot and I've found that it tends to come from being stuck in your own head and thoughts even while you're having a conversation, and it can show on your face. If you tend to frown naturally or have RBF like I do, you have to consciously be aware of your expression while trying to stay focused on where the conversation is going without falling into thought traps and distractions. If you can maintain awareness of your expression and keep it friendly, it's huge. It can be like trying to maintain awareness of your breath. It's tough, but it makes all the difference.\n\nIf you're not already doing these things, learn an instrument or a new language, and develop skill in a solo sport if you can afford it. If your current hobbies aren't conversation starters, this gives you things to talk about when people ask \"What have you been up to?\" or \"What do you do in your free time?\" It makes you seem adventurous and fun, when really you're still just keeping to yourself. But it opens you up to being able to do those things with other people.\n\nDon't forget to workout regularly. It helps your mood, and if you join a gym, you'll meet people. Fit people tend to be more positive and enjoy lifting each other up, pun intended.\n\nIt's not easy, and it's not quick to turn yourself into the person you want to be, but things need to happen naturally. Have a goal and don't try being like someone. Make incremental changes in yourself and eventually you'll get to where you want to be. But as I said in the beginning, the biggest tip I can give you is to learn to be comfortable doing fun things alone. A lot can stem from that. I hope you find good friends.", "This is weird advice, but find a podcast you like (topic doesn’t matter) with a host you find charismatic. Listen to it for a while. I find I tend to emulate speaking styles of charismatic people I listen to a lot. It’s not perfect but it might help you get closer to where you want to be.", "There are tons of great tips on the \"Charisma on Command\" Youtube channel about how to attract people with fun positive energy, spark conversion and keep it going, make people feel good spending time with you, etc. Charisma is definitely a learnable skillset!", "The way you talk is _very_ important. Not just the words but you tone. If it's a monotone, people switch off. If you ramble on, people switch off. If you sound confident, keep it articulate, focused, sympathetic, the cadences change to shadow your emphasis, they usually stay with you", "The thing that might change as you get older, is that you realise you don't need to 'be interesting' to try and please others. Do what interests you because it interests you, and let the relevant people form around you over time.\n\nAlso you might come to realise that the 'shiny charismatic' people are just one type of people from many types. And that all the types of people have a place in the world and all of them are happier when they find their own particular place, not when they try and be the kind of person they're not.", "The reason why everyone is saying to find a hobby is because a person that only knows surface level information is boring. So having a hobby or expertise will make you interesting. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nBased on your post I think you are not in your 20's yet? If you're in high school it's a bit different, people will think you are weird if your hobby is niche. I like carving gems but that's not gonna fly in highschool. \n\n\nIn highschool you just gotta go with the flow, learn details about popular songs, dress a bit nicer, don't wear hoodies, clean your shoes. That's the basics.\n\nYou spend a lot of time learning class materials to get high grades. It's the same in the social settings, you got to spend time learning about these things to be good at it.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nWhat is your ultimate goal? To make friends that you fit with? To be more popular at school?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nIn my school, there was a person that wasn't in the cool/outgoing kids group (around 40 students) but in grade 11 he started saying \"Hi #insertname here\"\" to a couple of the girls. At first it was kinda weird for the girls (so you gotta get over that), but of course they'd say \"Hi\" back. And as you'd know, in highschool theres lots of opportunities to sit together or work on projects together, and it'll be much easier to start talking. \nNotice what other people are listening to, music is cool for teens. Notice songs the people beside you are listening to, look up a few songs, and just say you like that band too. Just fake it. It'll get you through high school. Then you can follow everyone's advice.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI also like watching Charisma on Command on youtube although I can't really apply them haha", "The only thing is to put yourself in situations where you’re uncomfortable. If you’re not born with charisma, the only option is to put yourself out there. If you’re hiding, no one will notice you.", "The easiest one is to listen to other people too. Engage with what they’re saying, ask them follow up questions. Conversation is a two way street ☺️", "The blandest people I know are nothing but consumers of products and media. If you learn to create anything, you'll be miles ahead of those soulless culture vampires.", "The bald fact is that you can’t make interesting conversation if you don’t have interesting thoughts.\n\nRead a range of biographies. Think about all sorts of different things.", "The attitude shift I recall making that helped me feel more genuine and comfortable was when I lost the desire to impress others. \n\nOnce I shed that motivation, I shifted to simply behaving in ways that made sense for me to move forward in my life: set my own goals for my own sake, choose the things I focus on based on what I wanted out of life. \n\nNone of these new ways of doing things involved personal desires to do it to impress people. \n\nAnd that made it more clear and easy to map out my goals and pursue them.", "Tending bar really opened me up to conversation, that and over the top humor. Also, listen attentively to others, hardly anyone ever does.", "Talk to people that share interest in your hobbies. When doing so, actively engage in their interests and views on the subject at hand. Don't talk about yourself immediately, but provide responses if asked. Save aspects where you differ for when pressed about your own viewpoint --- this might not happen, and that is okay. You're leading the dance, thats what being the charismatic person does.\n\nThis is just advice for succeeding on the interaction. I cannot give you the courage to take the initiative, which admittedly is a significant hurdle for some people. But I do have a tip for that too: you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You're never gonna be the shiny charismatic person if you don't start saying \"hey look at me, I'm shiny\".", "Talk less, get in shape, smile. Learn about body language. Learn how to manipulate people, it’s super fun, most people are oblivious when it comes to lil manipulation. And you’ll be surprised when you find out how companies, bosses and everyone around you is manipulating you.", "Talk less about your self and ask questions of others. When you get answers you can relate that to you once or twice but then get more into questions and have others lead the convo.", "Take an interest in what other people are interested in and ask as many questions as you can. They will love you for it and you’ll learn a lot in the process.", "Take an interest in other peoples feelings, if it looks like you care about them they're more likely to like you.", "Take an improv class. It’s a fun way to learn how to get comparable being yourself and silly with other people. It’s also a fun way to meet people and play.\n\nThat’s more active advice, but for real be yourself. People who make for the best friends will be interested in your true self. Whatever that will be. If people bounce off your personality then they would of made for bad friends anyway.", "Take a genuine interest in other people and help them if and when the time calls for it. People love being around other people who have no ulterior motive for their own success and feeling like somebody understands you does wonders for your self worth, probably enough that they will take notice and want to return the favor when you seem like you need it (this may need to be conveyed to them if and when the time comes).\n\nAs far as your personality is concerned, you're not bland so don't change what you like or are interested in. If you express your interests genuinely to porker who share those interests you won't come off as bland. Don't try to shoehorn others into liking you by changing what you seem interested about discussing or being involved. At best you will eventually come off as disingenuous and at worst a boldfaced liar who only had your own interests in mind from the start of your relationship with whoever you were associating yourself. It's not worth the trouble in the end, so just be yourself from the start and you will attract the right people.", "TLDR: The biggest trick I've found is to ask interesting questions.\n\nHere's some examples:\n- what was you favorite part about<recent shared experience>?\n- what were your highlights/lowlights of <topic or activity here>?\n- what would you do differently if you had to go back and do <recently discussed topic> again?\n- what excites you the most about <future event or activity here>?\n\nOpen ended questions that are tailored to relate to the person you are talking to show that person you are interested in them. This usually gets them to open up and share something they are excited about, and makes the conversation memorable. You might notice their face gets more expressive, and they naturally feel more interested in the conversation.\nIt helps to break out of the typical stale smalltalk that people find boring.\n\nAs a bonus, now that you've shown genuine interest in their interests, they are more likely to ask you about your interests.", "Stop trying to impress people in a first place and do what you love. Cut of people that make you feel boring out of your life. That’s all.", "Stop trying to be interesting, and instead be interested. People don't care about your life, they care about how you make them feel. If you make people feel interesting and important, they will love you and return the interest.", "Stop trying to be anything. Delete your social media, try finding out what you want to do with your life when you aren't scrolling. Every person wants to be passionate, everyone has that inside themselves. Let go of the idea of needing to be a certain way to have friends, and people will generally come to you", "Start volunteering for charity and causes, whatever you can. Not only will it make you happier, nicer and kinder; it’ll give you so many things to talk about. You’ll learn from other people so much, they’re lives, struggles, experiences which in turn will enrich your own life. It will sow the seeds of a giving personality in you. This will also help you find out more about yourself as you get interested in other things and causes. Don’t waste your time becoming interesting for other people, you owe them nothing. Become interested and charitable, in no amount of time you’ll be loved, cherished, remembered for all that you do and are. People would want to be more like you and be liked by you instead of the other way round. It’s the best way to learn more about who you are while helping the less fortunate around you. A last plus is that you’ll be around like minded generous, good natured people. The company we keep also defines us and greatly influences who we are.\n\nSource: my own life, Alhamdolillah!", "Sometimes faking it works, you’ll have to force through the uncomfortableness but eventually you’ll break through", "Some people are super charismatic. But not all friends need to be like that. Sometimes we need people who we feel comfortable with, or are dependable or sensitive or can listen or are calm, smart, loving or any other number of traits.\n\nAll that glitters is not gold.\nAll traits have value.\nSometimes you might find you'll wish those shiny extraverted types are just hollow and gobby and lacking depth or substance. Sometime you'd wish they'd STFU!\n\nIt's hard to believe this in the moment when you feel like thebquiet dull one, but every dog has their day, there's a time for every purpose.\n\nAlso you might find when you find \"your people\" and click, you can naturally be that person you hope/wish to be as you may be a more natural fit.\n\nI have had similar struggle and learnt the above through experience and time.\n\nI would suggest doing a myers brings test.\nLots of people poo poo them but they're great for helping you learn about your personality as it can regurgitate information back to you in a digestible way.\n\n[Jung short test](https://similarminds.com/jung.html)\nWhen answering questions try not to answer them based on what you want to be but what you are, especially under times of pressure and stress when your most basic traits bubble to the surface more and give you direction. Then check this page and similar for a healthy perspective on your strengths...and weaknesses.\n\nI find they really help to give you better perspective.\n\n[about personality types (after test)](https://www.personalitypage.com/html/portraits.html)", "So what I’ve found out to be a real game changer is asking people about themselves. People love talking about themselves so you can NEVER go wrong with asking people about their lives. They’ll think “oh that’s nice someone who is genuinely interested in what I have to say” and you will become someone they like to talk to/hang out with.", "Show your interest in others. Nobody cares if you're \"interesting,\" they care that you show interest in them. Everybody has different things they love, but humanity universally loves talking about themselves. Get good at asking questions and you'll feel more confident in conversations overall", "Rules of life to remember. Firstly, it's none of your business what other people think of you. 2nd, if everybody looked the same, we'd end up looking like each other ~ Groove Armada but this translates to, groups of people/friends need different personalities to be a good group to be a part of. And lastly, people who are just themselves are the best people to hang out with, just be kind and you will always be a core member of your group.", "Remember to give them a chance to audition and talk about themselves. People like you if you are interested in them not just trying to justify your presence. Other than that passion in some things and willingness to show it ( provided it's not accounting practices or something)", "Record yourself talking. Is it monotone with no inflections? This might be boring. It may be as easy as how you express yourself. Public speaking and keeping people engaged takes practice.\n\nYou fake it till you make it.", "Read this How to Win Friends and Influence People https://amzn.eu/d/f9NOrFS\n\nIt's got lots of ways people have won other over and it has some great examples of ways of interacting with people.\n\nSuper easy read.", "Read more, learn more, be curious about the world and develop passions - you will automatically become interesting.", "Read *The 48 Laws of Power.*\n\nPeople say that that book is for psychos but honestly it's just \"how to win socially 101.\" It's a charisma guidebook. ***Use the lessons responsibly.***\n\nDo things people like. Make yourself likeable and make your company pleasurable. Figure out what people want you to be in any given scenario and be that. \n\n\"But that's being fake!\"\n\nNo it isn't. Everyone masks to a certain degree, no matter who you are. You act differently around your mother than you do with your friends, and you act differently around your friends than you do with your *best* friends, etc. \n\nCharisma is a skill that can be developed and not only can it make you more fun to be around, it can also land you jobs, further your career and help you navigate your way out of potential trouble. It's very useful!", "Read \"never sit the difference\" by Chris Voss. Although it is a book about effective negotiation to produce win win deals, there are tools in there that help you have very engaged conversations where people share a lot of information with you and come away feeling you are a shining charismatic person when all you did was help them talk a lot.", "Quick wit always works. Saying things that people dont expect but arent random or unnessecarily harsh", "Practice asking questions -- even the most boring person can show an interest in other people. That's the key for getting/keeping the conversation going. Also not all conversations last a long time or are really deep, so getting comfortable with a graceful exit (and the accompanying opportunity to start a new conversation!) helps as well. \n\n\nYou can't control if someone else will find you boring, but you *can* control whether you're interested/engaged in a conversation which goes a long way toward whether your conversational partner is interested/engaged as well.", "Pick someone that you find to be shiny and charismatic and emulate their personality until it becomes yours.", "Personally, I find that people who speak in that dull, monotone voice bore me to death. Where as people who often speak in front of crowds, particularly comedians as they have to rely on delivery and timing to make jokes work, will change it up. They pause after saying something controversial to build suspense, they change their pitch etc. \n\nAnd be passionate in what you love. I know people think, \"Well, I like X but I don't think anyone else likes it\", but I personally love it when someone talks about hobbies they genuinely have a passion for. Which again feeds into their tone. You could be a fucking stamp collector but if you're really passionate about it and it's practically blazing behind your eyes, I'm gonna listen. And it'll make me wonder what makes you enjoy it so much. \n\nPositivity is a big thing too. Don't be so obnoxiously optimistic that you become insensitive to people's plights, but don't mope either.\n\nLast thing is work on your vocabulary. An expansive vocabulary is always more interesting. He likes it? Nah, he fucking yearns for it. Obviously don't just use big words to sound smart, but use words that accent what you're saying. You don't have to go all Tolkien on people, but try to avoid really basic words that add little meaning to what you say.", "People love to talk about themselves. When all else fails, ask educated questions. This is 90% of the work. Tbh the rest is what seals the deal, and relies on you to be relatable.", "People love to talk about themselves. Learn to ask good questions, be good at listening to the answers, and making people feel heard. Best way to make friends is to learn to be a good friend.", "People like talking about what they like. Focus on asking the other person questions and being engaged as a listener and of course share too!", "People are most interested in themselves and are attracted to people who show an interest in them. Look up Dale Carnegie “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” The tips are over a century old and still work because people are still people.", "Passion. \nYou're missing PASSION\nPAAAAAAASSSSSSSIIIIIOOOOON\nimagine some grown ass dude saying that. Passion. Find your passion. ☺️\n\nYou know you have your passion when you can't stop talking about it. Then. You can't stop talking about it and everyone hates you for another reason.\n\nKidding. If you have issues carrying a conversation then you'll be fine. Show interest in their interest in your interest and reciprocate. \nIf they're passionate. Indulge in their passion. Maybe you'll be so enamored you'll be passionate about what they're passionate about\n\nBe passionate. On everything. Like me and this post. Passion", "Part of it is trying to find the right people with the same humor. Your own kind of humor will be a connection to others of similar humor.\n\nSo the next question is, what do you find funny and can you replicate that to have it feel natural?", "One of the easiest way to be a great conversationalist is to have an active interest in the other person. Ask them questions. Show you are genuinely curious about them and make *them* feel like the most interesting person in the room. People will love you for this. It takes practice, so don't give up on the first conversation you have.", "One of the best and truest peices of advice is to be truly, deeply, authentic. Love the things you love - deeply and honestly. Embrace your joys - share them as you are able. Find the things that resonate with you - and don't be ashamed or afraid if those things are odd, unusual, or boring. Being yourself and allowing others to be uncompromisingly themselves around you will work wonders. \n\nAnd - as I assume you are young - I can assure you that the person you are now will change. It might be the things you experience, a desire to change or grow - it could be some small innocuous thing that spurs you to invest in a passion or take a risk. We are all works in progress. And all of us are looking for connection and acceptance. And sometimes it can help to offer those.", "Ok this is simple care about what other people have to say engage them and set out to make them feel like they truly have your attention. In a large social situation do this to everyone possible AND try and include a group in the dynamic.\n\nBeing able to hold a conversation about a topic without making it Opinionated or judging, if I show up at a party and someone is all about ICP I don't say, \"god I never liked their music...\" I say, \"magnets how the F*ck do they work?\" Is it the only ICP lyric I know? You bet ya but it makes the other person smile they feel like there's a connection there. \n\nSo now we're engaging people about what they want to talk about we're making them feel like there's a connection, if there's a group we're including everyone. \n\nNext we need to work on a story, a good story is like a drink at the bar, if you walk into a bar and act flippant not know what you want people pick up on that, if you walk to the bar and say Scotch neat, or whiskey sour... You are acting with a palpable confidence. Much is the same with a story a good abstract example is the cover story in reservoir dogs, the idea of having a story you can tell backwards and forwards one you know every detail of, it needn't be anything other than appropriate to the audience. Try to stick to light, funny and true... I in my life have been involved in counter culture like punk rock, and roller derby, I've worked as a first responder... Knowing that the story that KILLS with EMT's might upset a skater in derby and that punk rock stories have no place in a junior executive position... Making sure that you read the room is key.\n\n\nSo now we're engaging people making them feel listened to and like they are the focus of your attention, you're including the group in your attention and spreading it around you have a few stories to confidently tell appropriate for different crowds... And we're keeping things positive, THAT is a shining charismatic person.\n\n\nFinal thought gesticulation helps sell a story, being animated and talking with your hands and body can add to the charisma of a story.", "Not sure what you’re into but when I was a teenager the place for awkward teens to hang was at basement punk and hardcore shows. Typically there were smaller crowds at the VFW halls, community centers, Unitarian churches, etc. Between bands people would hang outside and get into conversations. I built up a lot of confidence after starting a band with random kids from high school. I’ve known people who had similar experiences in other subcultures like electronic music/raves, theater, LARPing, organized sports, or some type of craft. Despite being pretty shy as a young kid, I got better at listening and talking to people the more experiences I had interacting with people.", "My tip would be: Don't try to please everyone. You have to have a profile (interests, character, opinions) that people can like you for. That inevitably means there will be people that don't like you, but that's ok. If you never open up, people while have nothing to grasp onto.", "My advice would be to just keep talking to people and eventually you will find things to say. Be comfortable with silence sometimes cause it just be like that and that's okay. There is already a lot of good advice so my advice is you sound young maybe eventually go into a customer service job or something to do with sales the daily interaction is a really good way to practice conversation skills it's definitely hard I know I had a similar outlook when I was younger and I've started to realize now that sometimes it just doesn't click focus on finding things that you enjoy and are interested in then go from there it will get easier little by little everyday.", "Most people find most of the things I like boring. But I have enough other things in common with my friends and family that we can enjoy each other’s company. Taking a genuine interest in things that other people like is a good way to find common ground. But I caution you to try not to become a person who always does what other people find interesting if you don’t like it. Make sure you make time for the things you like to do and expect the important people in your life to respect those things and try to enjoy them with you too sometimes.", "Making eye contact goes a looooong way! Looking into people’s faces when they talk and reaffirming your interest (small things like laughing at the right moment or even just murmuring in agreement are huge!) will make you seem much more lively and engaged. You can contribute a lot of energy and life to a room without saying very much at all.", "Make others feel good about themselves. Be interested in their lives. Ask questions. Pay attention. Give heartfelt compliments. Remember details", "Make eye contact when you talk to people, with everyone, servers, retail staff etc. Turn your face fully towards them and stay still when they speak.\n\nYou have two ears and one mouth. Use them in that ratio.\n\nWhen talking with people try to focus completely on what they are saying. Respond only to what they are saying and not that thought you had which I'd associated to what they said five minutes ago and that you've been waiting for a gap to say - the conversation has moved on and you'll just seem self absorbed.", "Look, it will sound trite, but if you don't find *yourself* interesting, no one will. Do things *you* think are cool, enjoy it, be proud of it, and *then* you will seem interesting to others.", "Literally just don’t be afraid to do anything. Jump around and be silly when music plays and you like it. Anything that comes to mind, go for it and do it passionately.", "Listen. The most charismatic people are good listeners and make others feel heard and special. \nFlirt with everyone (No really, this is one of the secrets to staying young at heart forever.) \nYou shine when you are the reason someone/everyone else is shining.", "Listen to your existing friends and ask questions. People often like to talk about what they are interested in. Ask them about the stuff they like and add probing questions to make the person continue or think more. \nBUT, as others have said, find what you are passionate about and other people who are passionate about the same things. \nYou will never be interesting to everyone, but that’s fine. You only have to be interesting to the people you care about. And if you aren’t interesting to each other then maybe both sides aren’t meant to be close friends. \nIt’s also ok to have close friends and more “light” friendships.", "Less friends makes less disappointment. It's not bad to have very few friends. I literally have like 3 that I make an effort for. And they do for me. It goes both ways. I'm 40", "Learn to listen. If you make people feel like their interests are everything, you’ll learn so much about interesting things and you can explore it with them.\n\nEventually you’ll find something interesting that you can hold on to and have adventures yourself while having others share their interests with you.", "Learn the art of conversation. Think of it like a tennis match. Talk too much? The ball goes out of bounds. Talk too little? The ball hits the net. You need a constant rally to have a great conversation. Just like a great tennis match. How do you do this? Ask questions. Be natural. Be friendly. Don’t be weird. Don’t get upset if someone bad mouths you. Move on. You can do it!", "Learn some card tricks and magic tricks, memorize a bunch of joke and use all of them in appropriate situations.", "Keep doing you. You will eventually find your pack. I was not a group person in school, and found that cliques were if nothing else stupid. It was my personal belief that not everyone thrives on the same things. Later on jobs people would talk sports at lunch and I faked it for a while then one day finally said, “not a sports fan!”And then at times the conversation would shift to a different topic. If you have interests share them with others, they will either find commonalities with you and share, or they maybe even be just like you and like your type of quiet lifestyle.", "Just find other boring friends. There’s plenty of different people in the world, you’ll find your crew!", "Just don't try and be anything other than yourself. You will never achieve that because that is not how it works and all you'll acomplish is being miserable and propably losing a lot of your time you could spend on stuff you actually like doing. On a side note - it's not that people are getting bored with you because you are boring, it's mostly because they aren't interested in being with you. That's a clear sing that maybe these aren't your people.", "I’m so boring but I dress a little colourful and people don’t notice. Laugh a lot and be kind and friendly. Explore niche places in your town (fancy underground bars, local art galleries etc) and then take people there.", "It's not about you. Ask about them. Be genuinely interested in their responses and ask some more. When you are on your own, do you. Do whatever makes you happy.", "It takes a lot of practice. For me I read a bunch of books, practiced in the mirror, memorized jokes, learned how to tell stories, learned how to make people feel happy, learned about emotions and how to make people feel loved, practiced body language, watched videos on the subject and practiced what they said. Do your research and find what other people like then practice that. You will suck at first but eventually you will be good and it will come naturally.", "It sounds to me like you may have an anxiety hurdle. Anyone thinking ‘this person isn’t interesting’, isn’t worth talking to. Might be worth chatting to a therapist - the calmer you are, the less you’ll be worried about making someone interested. \n\nSome advice on making friends - repetition is key - same cafe/sport team/class and you’ll click with someone!", "It can also eliminate those who don't share your interests. Just because others don't share your interest doesn't mean you shouldn't continue with them. Another thing to consider is after expressing what interests you, find out what interests them.", "In all honesty, people love to hear what you are passionate about or just share some funny or silly anecdotes about something that happened the other day. \n\nIf you don’t feel comfortable talking about yourself or if you find conversations slowing down, just ask the other person questions about themselves. People generally love talking about themselves if people take genuine interest, and then just let the conversation flow from there. \n\nTry not to force anything with the conversation, and just try to keep conversations light hearted and mutual, make sure there is a balance and you aren’t just talking about yourself the whole time. \n\nI don’t know if that’s helpful, but if you just take a genuine interest in the person you are talking to and make them feel comfortable and maybe get a laugh in, usually that can work.", "Im more introverted, but whenever I'm meeting new people, I smile and act like I am happy to be talking with them. If I can't carry the conversation, I often ask people questions about themselves and act very interested and get them talking. Their hobbies, what kind of music, any fun travel plans, etc. People love to talk about themselves, so if you're a good listener, people subconsciously think \"wow they are so interesting to talk to\". It's an easy strategy. I see them in the hallway \"how was your daughter's recital\", how was that trip. I'm not a cool person or an \"it\" girl, but most people I encounter think I'm friendly and I make a good first impression. Most people reciprocate and as i get to know them better im more comfortable sharing. Smiling and body language is an easy area to work on for communicating better.\n\nAlso don't try too hard, some people get a hobby or special interest and they make that their entire personality. Do something because you enjoy it, not because it's what's on trend. Especially as you reach adulthood, you come across people with hobbies that might be considered dorky in high school and you make a connection over it. Be open to new experiences (concerts, food, entertainment, music) and even if it's not for you, showing interest for the other person's sake and letting them get to talk about it will make you more approachable and charismatic. You don't have to be loud and flashy for people to enjoy themselves around you.", "If you would accept this, I used to be someone like you in highscool. But as time went by I realized having lots of acquiantances is overrated. I understand that most people are not like me but at 29, I enjoy life more alone and find myself cringy when I think about what I was like back then. Maybe I'm just not into people anymore.", "If you want to be popular and good in groups of people like at a party, I’ll share the best advice I was ever given. \n\nDon’t try to be interesting. Be *interested.* Ask genuine questions about the people that you’re with. Listen to their responses, ask follow up questions. \n\nThat’s it. And it works.", "If you want people to care about you and what you have to say, you have to care about people and what they have to say. If you don’t feel that they are worth the effort to get to know, people will feel it and mirror that; the opposite will be true. If you take time to find out others lives and their joys, fears, achievement and challengers, celebrate with them and commiserate with them, people will be drawn to you as you give them so much without demanding anything for yourself. They will then want to spend more time with you. It took me 12 years to learn this. \nTLDR don’t be selfish and want for yourself. Give and you shall receive", "If you want act on public you had to be actor. You had to know your face expressions and your \"work side\". Practice with mirror and read books. A LOT of books.\n\nP.S. Under \"work side\" i mean \"[smoldering intensity](https://youtu.be/Xz63qzhYeKA?t=13)\"", "If you focus on something you think is a shortcoming, they will too. You’re living for other people right now and not yourself. There are so many just like you. You haven’t found them yet. Read a few books. Watch some movies. Some people are always just going to be more talkative and charismatic than us. Doesn’t mean we aren’t. Talk about what you like. When someone else is talking, listen. 2 ears 1 mouth so use them in the proportion they were given. Once you find who you are and start living for you, then you will attract those who are like you and repel ones that aren’t. That’s a good thing.", "IMO some people just have to grow into themselves. Not everyone is interesting in high school or college. I didn’t really become interesting until grad school. It just took me a long time to figure out what kind of person I was, what my interests really are, and also to find people like me. \n\nAnd I now realize that last part was super important. I remember my dad telling me in maybe middle school or early high school that the farther I went in school the more the people around me would be similar and likeable to me. He was SO RIGHT it’s crazy", "I'm the same. But I found that my interests and hobbies and things that I love... I just try find people with the same. So I love gaming, Warhammer etc. Playing games online I've met friends. Going to Warhammer workshops I've met friends etc \n\nJust keep trying", "I'm guessing, based on the post content, that you're still in your teens. I can hopefully give you two very easy tips that you can follow for relatively quick results.\n\n1. Work on your appearance if you aren't doing so. Just fixing up how you look and establishing a certain style for yourself will make you look more approachable and respectable. That will make people more willing to engage with you.\n\n\n2. Study up on things that interest you. A smart and knowledgeable person is always a great company. It could be animal facts, industry news, mental health, emotional intelligence, technology, or a mix of many, but read up on what interests you, and read further into what you really like. It'll give you interesting things to talk about, help you find common interests with people, and give you some maturity and personal growth too.", "I was a lot like you and to an extent I still am, the way I got over the feeling of people not being interested in me was accepting that I will never be everyones cup of tea and those who dislike me or don't want to interact I just let go and move on to the next set of people or single person.\n\nIts all a confidence thing, I no longer care if others like me because I like myself.\n\nI hope you over come this it is rather debilitating and joyous once its over.", "I try to make people happy, either by making them laugh or just making them feel better about themselves in some way. Most of the time people seem happy with me being around because at least I'm trying to be a good vibe source.", "I think people forget that we get to choose who we want to be. At any point in our lives we can decide to change who we are, and like anything else it takes practice. If you want to be more outgoing practice approaching strangers and practice your small talk. If you want to feel more interesting learn about story telling and then practice it in real life situations… I agree with finding hobbies and doing things you like to find people you’re compatible with, but it won’t actually make you more exciting or bubbly. This is one situation where I believe fake it till you make it works really well. Try things that make you uncomfortable, pretend to be confident when you feel insecure etc… eventually you’ll find yourself portraying these traits, or deciding that you like who you are and don’t care if other people find you exciting or not.", "I reckon you oughta read “The Courage to be Disliked”. Don’t let the title put you off — it’s a life-changing book about how to stop thinking about what other people think of you.", "I like all the comments here! Go explore hobbies, play games, find people who share interests. If you want to really step out of your comfort zone, try an acting or improv class: the best way to learn how to talk to the back of the room, sharpen your whit in conversations and interactions with people, and get more comfortable talking and connecting with people. It takes a ton of guts but 90% of the time it’s a blast and you’re among some really interesting people. There can also be a “in this together” attitude with classes that really helps people connect with each other.", "I honestly think dancing is the best way to come out of your shell. And it needs to be dancing on your own, not with a partner. Just you and your relationship to the music you like. Once you’re comfortable with moving by yourself, others will notice that", "I highly suggest starting to talk with your hands. It’s a simple thing that helps make the conversation more engaging and genuine", "I didn’t see this answer. \nEngage in other people. Ask them questions about things they say or do. When they tell you something, get into it, genuine gut first interactions, and never let them or make them feel weird or odd by seeing things their way as much as possible.\nPeople are interested in people who are interested in them. End of story.", "I didnt see anyone else mention it... Try talking with retired people. They can be quite lonely too and have lots of interesting stories. It's a great place to practice social skills. Plus telling someone you volunteer with the elderly is gets you a lot of social \"points\" if you will.", "I am going to recommend an older book, but the information is invaluable: “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. No, just reading the book won’t do it. You have to actually do the work. For example, instead of telling people stuff, ask them questions. Who, what, when, that is interesting, what happened then? Do not talk about yourself or your ideas. Yes, I know that you want to, but in general, other people don’t care. Everyone wants to talk about himself, so get other people to talk. You will eventually learn to weed out the egocentric and chatter boxes. In the meantime, you will be developing good conversational skills that will come in handy for when you do get to be with people you wish to know better and to impress. You don’t marry the first person you date, you don’t stay doing your first job, you don’t forever wear the same shirt you wore as a child. You grow and learn. Conversation is like any skill at which some people are better than others. However, it is a skill. You just need to work at it. \n\nIf you seem to show a genuine interest in other people, they are going to think that you are a great guy. When people comment that you don’t talk much, reply that other people are more interesting, then follow that up with an example or ask that person a question. \n\nIn time, you will develop the reputation of being a good listener and a thoughtful individual. People may then say of you that you don’t talk much, but when you do, it is worth listening to.", "I always made my friends by meeting people with similar interests or goals. Unless you’re sense changing your character to make friends. It’ll just make you and the friendship feel hollow. Friendships aren’t really something you force. You dont have to be super charismatic. All the friends I’ve made at school are because of just approaching them to talk and finding out we like the same video game or activity or literally anything. My friends and i can talk about literally anything and its not ever really boring. Just gotta find the right people man", "I actually would go the other way with this. \n\nAsk lots of questions. Be surprised by their answers. (Most) People like to be found interesting and talk about themselves. \n\nThis is my life hack for getting through social events. Ask ask ask, and nobody will have the chance to ask about me back.", "How is you growing up a joke? Youre not even in your 20s then youre a child. This 100% can change - just like you wont be a kid forever", "Honestly, try not to care about this too much, and you'll already be doing better for yourself 10 fold. Trying to create a false identity to fit into social norms, it's just not good. Just do your own thing, for yourself, and only yourself.", "Honestly, smile, a lot. You'd be shocked how much more approachable and naturally bubbly you will be!!!", "Honestly just do shit, you ever watch a story time YouTuber and they say that they did something just so they can make a video about it? That’s what you gotta do.\n\nEven better do shit that’s gonna go wrong, no one talk about the time they went out to the clubs and had a great time, but what about they time they went out reluctantly agreed to bring their dickhead mate and shenanigans ensued. \n\nHave you thought about hiking? Are you fit enough to hike? Fuck it do it anyway and tell the story about how you wanted to die but still hit the peak.\n\nGo to the beach with your friends and footy or vollyball, invite curious onlookers to join. \n\nTake a dog to a dog park and chat with the people there.\n\nAnd you don’t even have to go out with the intention of fucking things up, just go out and through the law of averages something is gonna go wrong. Interesting people aren’t interesting because of some natural charisma, it’s because they’ve lived a life worth hearing about, the best way to get over being shy is to get in a situation so bizarre you just have to tell someone about it. Show up to school or work and be life “oi I’ve had the most insane weekend I gotta tell you about it” \n\nHell I still tell the story about a time me and mate were walking back just from a swim at the rock pools, and this bizarre 12 year old walked back to our car with us and told us he likes to imagine the CoD zombies are his mum, like shit you go out and weird stuff just happens. people like hearing about everyone’s weird lives, make yourself out to be interesting enough and they might ask to join next time you get drunk on camping trip or lose a rod 30minutes into your fishing day and now have nothing to do for 9 hours.", "Honestly focus your energy on things that make you happy and my most number one tip is smile as much as possible! It will really help your mood and how people see you in public.", "Honestly conversation wise, you need to learn how to look and sound interested. Ask questions, comment on what they say without being overbearing. This in turn makes people enjoy your presence and be interested in what YOU have to say. \n\nAlso learning how to tell a story really helps. Without making myself sound like some sort of playboy it's a skill that i don't see many people have and it really makes me super comfortable when meeting new people or hanging out with my friends.\n\nComplimenting people randomly really helped me build my confidence. Be bright and say it with a smile.\n\nAlso not easy at all to just \"do\", but being funnier automatically makes you 1000x more attractive. Learn how to read a room and reading people's emotions, joke about things, EVALUATE BOUNDARIES before saying or doing anything.\n\nOnce you grasp these concepts they become second nature and you become interesting and \"attractive\" to everybody.", "Hi! People LOVE to talk about themselves. You can always direct your attention to what's going on for them. Maybe that could help?", "Here's something a friend of mine taught me in college. \"If you're bored, then there's a good chance you're boring\". Do things that excite you, pursue your dreams, try new experiences, develop your talents, and just allow yourself to be a better version of yourself after doing these things.😁", "Heard this last weekk: you can be the sweetest peach on the tree but not everybody likes peaches. So you can be interesting to some people but not just all people. And thats totally okay.", "Have a grasp on current events. I’ve had people come up and start a conversation by asking my opinions on X or Y and I’ve not had a clue. I pay more attention to the news now.", "Go on an adventure! Pick a destination charity that needs people willing to travel and commit yourself for at least a year.", "Go inside… dive to bottom of what makes you tick. Go as deep as you can and watch… you will be interesting and things will change. We all fear what’s really inside of us and when you can touch on that - people gather round - I promise you.", "Get interested in other people. Ask questions, *really* listen to their answers and respond with follow up questions/insights/enthusiasm.\n\nGoogle active listening.\n\nShare your passions with people, build relationships with people from a hobby group/interest group\n\nVolunteer somewhere \n\nRead/listen to podcasts/watch TV- fiction, non fiction, documentaries/biographies/text books - read about interesting people and places, talk about them.", "Get a job in sales or customer service. Maybe a cell phone store. It'll help you socially interact with a wide range of people. If you lack a sense of humor then watch a lot of stand up comedy.", "Get a hobby, read, and have experiences. Talk to people more, ask them about their hobbies, themselves, ask the elderly about their childhood. This will help you learn to be a good conversationalist, and as a bonus you learn more about different subjects, and humanity.", "Fun socks! A unique wristwatch. Listen to music and all different kinds. If you don’t really practice listening to a wide music selection then start there. Music makes the world go a round", "For me, it took just doing what I want. The coolest thing you can do is to stop caring about being cool. \n\nPeople feel your confidence. When you feel them getting bored, it's most likely *you* becoming less engaging as you pay more and more attention to how they're acting and what they might be thinking. \n\nYou're basically noticing them noticing you being distracted. If you can't be bothered to pay attention to what you're doing, why should they?", "For a good primer, go read the book “How to Make Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.\n\nThe tldr on that one is that you need to spend most of your time trying to learn how to be interested in others. Making friends has less to do with you being interesting and more to do with how much you care about others.\n\nAs for actually holding a conversation and wanting people to keep coming back to talk with you, you need to sit down/get up and start learning a little bit about everything. A passion for learning will give you the knowledge to be worth talking to. It will also teach you to ask interesting questions that get people’s attention.\n\nThe next thing that might come to mind is “I’m not interested in lots of stuff”. Yeah, that’s what everyone says before they start learning things. The secret is, the more you know about anything, the more your brain will likely find it interesting. So get learning.\n\nLastly, after you’re done all that. You’ll have a good head for a lot of things. Some will be more enjoyable topics/interests than others. Congrats, you’ve found new possible hobbies. Explore those. You’ll find more people who like the same things as you and then you’ll make real friends (probably).\n\nIf this all sounds boring or like a lot of work, don’t worry, if you don’t start now, you’ll get older, and up bored, and you’ll start doing it anyways. Everyone does eventually.\n\nAlso, your comment about not even being in your twenties made me chuckle. I’m nothing like 21 year old me. No offence, but you don’t have a bloody clue who you’ll be in 5, 10, 20, or 30 years. The fact you’re here asking for advice to change and grow makes me all the more certain you won’t be who you think you’ll be.\n\nGood luck and have fun!", "Focus on what you enjoy and let that be a large part of how you share yourself. It’s hard to dislike a happy person, and if you’re focused on the cool & fun experiences that help shape YOUR personality & interests, that will only grow and manifest into how you socialize and represent yourself with others.", "Focus on what others find interesting,.\n\nAsk questions focused on those interests.\n\nBe interested in the answers.\n\nYou will be surprised at how interesting others perceive someone interested in their interests.", "Focus on others first. People love the attention. Read how to make friends de and influence people by Carnegie.", "Focus on being as real as you can be. Almost like what first comes to mind just stick to it. You shouldn’t have to change the way you act around other people. You should be free to be yourself. This can help attract the right kind of people into your life and get rid of the wrong ones. The people who leave or don’t vibe with you did not deserve that realness from you", "First of all, don’t be so harsh on yourself. Why are you saying you are bland? Probably because you are too worried about what people think. This is something inside you, because you will never really know what people actually think. Only what they say they think, which is just what they want you to think.", "Find what you love. Do that and allow yourself to be excited for it. It will make you naturally shine.", "Find what interest you, get new hobbies, get involved in those circles, and you will find like minded people.\n\nI was quite the loner until I stopped trying to make friends and was just myself and went after my hobbies, and mede new friends with the same hobbies.\n\n\"Your vibe attractes your tribe.\" helped me change my attitude. If I wanted to have confident and interesting people around me, all I needed to do was to become confident and interested myself. Which is achieved by investing yourself in things you like and making new hobbies.\n\nAt least that worked for me.", "Find something you are passionate about. Share that with others. You'll find like minded people and even if someone isn't into the same thing, talking about something someone is passionate about is not boring if you don't hide how happy and excited it makes you. I spent 3 hours talking to someone about violins, not because I am into violins or even care about them at all, but the person I was talking to clearly found so much joy talking about violins. It kept me engaged and captivated.\n\nLearn to listen, ask questions, and don't control the conversation.", "Find someone who you trust to be kind and honest and ask them for some pointers. It could be something as simple as getting to the point of your story a little more quickly or being more aware of current events so you have something fresh to talk about.\n\nIt could also be that you are plenty interesting enough but don’t realize because you are reading feedback all wrong.\n\nI think this is a task for someone who knows you or has at least spoken to you a few times.\n\nAlso, it’s possible you haven’t yet found your people. I went to school in a small remote town where I didn’t have tons of friends, but I moved away for college and made friends so easily.", "Find some communities revolving around topics/activities you're passionate about.\n\nOnce you're there, be genuine, and share your thoughts about that specific topic/activity.", "Find a hobby link up with likeminded people. The rest will fall into place. Keep your head up, younger years weren’t easy for a lot of us.", "Find a hobby and eventually you’ll find some other people that enjoy the same stuff as you! It’s a lot easier to have conversations with people that you can connect with over a hobby! \n\nI would say I’m a pretty charismatic person, and there’s plenty of people that would call me boring because our conversations go no where. On the other hand, I’ve found some friends that like to nerd out about music stuff and they definitely wouldn’t call me boring!\n\nYou got this🤘🏼", "Fake giving a fuck about ppls lives sometimes and ask hella questions for small talk, at first there will be a lot of fake it till you make it but eventually you'll actually care", "Expand your interests. You increase the likelihood of you connecting with someone else and you have the benefit of learning new things. Knowledge truly is power.", "Dont try to be charismatic, try to become yourself :)\n\nI dont know what that means either, just work on your self and you will get to a point that you are happy with where you are. \n\nWorkout, even for 15 mins per day, it will make a difference, You can join an athletic group if you want. This is free and great place to start https://www.hybridcalisthenics.com/\n\nRead books, not just literature, read some scientific books and self improvement too. How yo live 24 hours per day, 12 rules for life and 'how to make friends' might help you. Read the classics, they are classics for a reason.\n\nIf you are still in school, dont easte your time there, learn as much as you can. You are in the perrect environment for learning and you have to be there for that many hours. You are going to need ALL the knowledge you get from there. You can learn everything and you are going to use everything in one day. Even complicated maths and chemistry will alter the eay you think, will make you smarter to solve any kind of problems.", "Dont be a person that does alot of the talking be a listener instead and youll see a difference in your future friendships. Most of the time i just want people to talk about random stuff if its about food or traveling all the way to hows there family/pets . Dont get scared to know people and ask questions and always say hello to them aswell.", "Don't force it, it will come off as fake and people will notice that. Don't try to be friends with people you think you want to be friends with, try and be friends with people who share similar interests. Also you probably have depression, and possible Autism.", "Don't compare yourself. You can't transform yourself into a charismatic character like that. What you can do is be a different kind of awesome, the kind that suits your personality. There are usually pros/cons to every personality type tbh... So someone 'charismatic' and fun and bubbly on the one hand could be overbearing, irritating and self-centred on the other. And you think you're 'boring' but did you consider that you are easygoing, relaxing and chill? Good at listening? Caring?\n\nThere are all flavours of people who are cool and enjoyable to be around in all different ways, you just need to lean into your flavour and love who you are. What others have said about finding things that you enjoy and are passionate about is true too and will help you with things to talk about, stuff to do and finding people you connect with.", "Don't change for other people. If you like who you are then keep being that person and you will find other like minded people who enjoy your company. If you don't like the person you are then your first step has to be to start to figure out who you do want to be. But the change has to be for yourself, otherwise you won't be happy.", "Do whatever it takes to find yourself shiny and charismatic. Other people will see it too but most importantly you will be happy to be you.", "Do things. Get a job or education or pursuit that you are interested in. Interact with people in the context of things you know and have insight about.", "Definitely an interesting question here, its worth noting that your audience is going to heavily influence how you respond to different scenarios but there are a few things that are applicable and are key to making good headway in any social interaction:\n\n1. Ask questions.\n even if you dont care about the answers themselves, you want to make an impact with the person you are talking too and so most of your approach should involve getting to know them, or at least hearing about them because this builds trust and repor. People love talking about themselves and there are people who will quickly snatch you up into their social circle if you just ask them questions about things they like which leads into my next point.\n\n2. Respond favorably as much as you can.\n People have insecurities, if they are constantly being torn into about how they feel, or if they dont get that reassurance that what they are saying is being appreciated, they can sour very quickly, or clam up and not really find the desire to interact with you. So generally keeping a positive demeanor and an interested tone can be super important for giving them those socially cues. \n\n3. Confidence/Dont be afraid to own who you are.\n Alot of us hide behind what we think people are going to think about us, rather than just being who we are and letting everyone else sort out what it means to them. Of course, its important to recognize when you are making people uncomfortable or if something should be kept private but just keep in mind that the difference between weird and quirky is how much you own it, so talk to people with as much confidence as you can muster, people feed off confidence. \n\n4. Talk about yourself.\n People love familiarity, its why advertising works so well, talk about yourself and relate things that you do/ like, to the conversation and people will respond in kind which will eventually help them see you as someone who they know and have a relationship with.\n\n5. Dont judge people.\n If you are the kind who was raised with a sour opinion of something, instead of talking about how you find it \"weird\" or \"dumb\" if its ever brought up in conversation, instead, try saying neutral terms like \"it's interesting\". If people think you have a negative opinion on what they like, they're more apt to not want to talk to you since they don't feel safe talking about their interests.\n\nThere's alot more but ill cut it here for now\n\nIf these are things you are naturally doing or things that feel unnatural or disingenuous to you, my advice would be to actively practice them. Not everyone is good at everything and social interaction is no different from learning to play an instrument, many of us don't start out good at it but we can practice these things to get better at them.", "Cultivate yourself and listen to others when they speak to you.\n\nFew things as charismatic as someone genuinely asking to learn more about others.\n\nYou don't need to talk about yourself to be charismatic.\n\nKeep the conversations light and fun and open ended.", "Create your own stories by doing interesting things. YOLO! Don't be afraid to make silly jokes about yourself. Make mistakes and laugh about it. Be comfortable in your own skin. Learn cool and funny jokes. Smile and be sincere about it. Ask open-ended questions and listen to how they respond and have follow up questions. Watch how others respond and follow their lead. Show interest in their answers and things they are interested in. Go out on adventures and invite friends! Learn to dance well, if you haven't yet. Take dance lessons in various styles. Take a Martial Arts class and dedicate time in it. It'll help with your self-esteem and confidence. Don't allow yourself to be a pushover. Take risks and remember there's no such thing as failure, only lessons learned. Above all, be humble not arrogant amongst all that I've mentioned. So don't be afraid to admit faults and always give cr", "Confidence in yourself, it seriously sets a baseline happiness you can always rely on and ultimately others learn to rely on when they are around you and it becomes imprinted on them.\n\nMost humans are interested in what makes them feel good at a base level of sorts. Now imagine if you hang out with individual A who always makes you feel happy or doesn't detract from a situation then you tend to want to hang out with them more and more. You associate good feelings to being around that person. Obviously it's so much more nuanced than that, but its a solid theory imo.", "Condition yourself to get curious about the person you are talking to. Ask them questions about themselves. Learn how to ask good questions and follow up questions. People won’t get bored talking about themselves.", "Check out true charisma on command YouTube channel and if you like them the course. Not affiliated with them and take no responsibility for them as people, but their observational approach that tells you what to copy helped me.", "Check out Charisma on Command on YouTube! I feel like it generally sums up what makes people likable.", "Charisma comes with confidence and confidence is a mixture of knowledge and pride, with a touch of selfishness. \n\nExpand your knowledge of everything. Learn a little about alot, it allows you to know what to ask people who know more about that topic. If you're interested in others they will like you more.\n\nBe comfortable that sometimes people won't like you and how you act, and remain was ignorant as you can to their feelings while accepting that you probably come off as a dick to SOME people, and that's okay, as long as you know your not insulting them or otherwise cutting them down. Don't be negative but don't be afraid to tell a cheeky joke. Self deprecation in case you go to far, and dint take things others say about you seriously. Agree because you know you're imperfect, and you own it. Nobody is an angel.\n\nWatch some comedy, pick up on sarcasm, but start off using it sparingly if you aren't as aware of social cues. Don't have to be funny all the time but everyone loves some witty joke at San unexpected time \n\nBut always ask about the other person. Be insistent. Especially if they're cool and interesting. Until you get out in the world and do some cool shit, just appreciate the cool shit others do and spread the positivity. Be interested, don't just want interested. Control the urge to talk about yourself until they ask. If they never ask, that's okay. Remember that about them, but don't hold it against them.\n\nAlso... Travel. If you're young take a trip somewhere crazy and throw yourself out of the comfort zone. Go to Thailand for a few weeks and just live. At worst you hate out and go back home. Regardless, you'll come out with more confidence, a story, and knowing more about yourself as a person. Hopefully you send up loving it and travel more!", "Buy an old cool jeep. Learn about it. Make friends who know stuff. Learn about mechanics. People will flock to you and you'll always have something to talk about , something to do.", "Become good at listening. Show that you are interested in them. Learn to love yourself. Don’t come across as desperate", "Be you. YOU is what makes you interesting and great. Friends will come to you. The right ones will be there in time. But YOU are you. And there’s only one you. And that’s interesting in and of itself", "Be true to yourself is something I wish I’d been taught when I was younger. People who stick around are friends. Pass on any haters. Personally, I’m in my late thirties and I don’t have many friends either, but the ones I have are true. People come and go, it’s important to realize that your personal self doesn’t, so focus on being happy with how you carry yourself in life and the rest will fall into place.\n\nOf course this goes without saying that outright respect for others and kindness are always winning qualities that people look for in friends. In a world seemingly getting less and less friendly it makes an impact.", "Be proud of the things you have interests in. Like, for the longest time I personally was a fan of dnd and video games, and never told anyone because I was on the hockey team and felt that being nerdy was not cool when you're a hockey player. Turns out that while I love the sport of hockey, I truly enjoyed the people I met while playing magic and did, so I just made it the forefront of my personality\n\nBe confident in whatever it is that makes you happy. \"Yea, I'm into crocheting, it's super fun! Got a problem with it?\" The people who like what you like will find you, and the people who don't aren't worth your time", "Be open minded. Don't shy away from strange or embarrassing things - absolutely practice self preservation but let the world come to you. Say hi to strangers and pick flowers. Buy a nice hat that looks goofy but you like. Don't say no because things might be new or uncomfortable, take one step at a time and see where life takes you. Just being mindfull of people around you is a good way of creating experience and letting good things come. \n\nFind a weird and good hobby, something that makes you feel good. Have it be arts and crafts, plants, knitting, a good video game. Spend hours reading random articles on wikipedia, learn random fun facts. Be curious and seek new things!", "Be interested in other people. If you know basic improv, it's sort of just \"and then?\" Someone tells you a story, and you try and move their story on for them. Work hard and working in your own knowledge, \"Then I visited London in April.\" ... \"Oh I love London in April.\" Also, try and practice the \"do I understand question.?\" \"So is \\[insert subject\\] a bit like \\[insert the most similar response\\]?\" Even if you know what they're talking about and it's actually relatively simple, just give the moment to explain themselves. It takes practice and timing and works best when the question is genuine. Never ever make it about you, never 1up, never try and be more interesting. Simply be interested and you'll be seen as more charismatic.", "Be interested in other people! So many people don't take time to be interested in those around them.\n\nWhen was the last time someone talked to you and you REALLY listened, instead of waiting for your turn to speak?", "Be a good listener, remember charming details about the people you care about (particularly their accomplishments and interests), and check in with them often without expecting anything in return.", "Ask people questions. Try to put yourself in their shoes and offer up what you think it might be like, and ask them if that's what it's really like. Show more interest in them than in yourself. The more you learn about others the more you will learn about people in general and about yourself, and the easier conversations will flow. Also, people generally don't get bored talking and thinking about themselves. Welcome it when it flows back your way, and don't ever be afraid to say \"I don't know\" or \"I haven't thought about that.\"", "Ask people questions about themselves. When they then tell you something, repeat some of what they said and ask a follow up question. Then, quickly share something about yourself (don’t talk too long). Repeat from start of paragraph.", "Ask people questions about themselves and then follow up with listening and more questions.\nThen share related stories or opinions of your own.", "Ask people about themselves. Ask about their interests, or their first memory or something that makes people think. I love the game Hygge because it has lots of thought provoking questions. Put your focus energy on the other person instead of on yourself and worrying about what the other person thinks.", "Ask people about themselves and ask people follow up questions. People have fond memories of you when you make them feel interesting.", "As someone who had like a 5 person social circle in late school and didn’t go to big parties - focus on what makes you happy, embrace your hobby - that excitement and passion will be shared by others in the space. \n\nAfter university I tried to be other things but it came back to doing the thing you like and gives you energy and then making friends within that space.", "Are you a video game fan? Find an online game and try to meet some new people. Join a clan. ESO and Destiny have both been places that I have found several new friends to talk to. It will help you develop social skills that you can use in the real world.i know it sounds silly, but we've actively used raids as a tool to develop leadership skills in our group of friends. Taking control of the game will help you be more confident and help with your charisma concerns.", "All i can say is, you are who you are. Some of us are better off with less but closer friends . I only have 1 or 2 people i would consider as friends myself and thats more then enough ! The true lonely people are those who surround themselves with people all the time. \nBut if we are being superficial a good smile will always make people feel better about you. \nBeing generally positive, helpful and complimenting those around you will also make you appear “nicer” in other peoples eyes. \nGood luck !", "Adding in to what others have said, ask people about themselves and listen to them, if the conversation gets directed back to them asking things about you then you can answer briefly and quickly ask a question about something they had said. I run out of things to say quickly and this has helped me.", "1. Develop a skill that can only be acquired through intense dedication like a hobby. Get really good/knowledgeable about it and that confidence rubs off onto other things. Your hobby is interesting as long as you're interested in it and others will become interested in it.\n2. Exercise. Get fit. If you're fat, ppl won't want to spend time with you. Ppl want to spend time with physically attractive ppl. The self-confidence in being fit rubs off onto other things.\n3. Related to No.1, be really good at your job. If you're good, other ppl will talk about you behind your back (in a good way). You'll gain others' respect and they will interact with you differently.\n4. Be open-minded. This quality makes ppl feel comfortable around you. The fact that you even bothered to post shows you are open to criticism/feedback and not likely to become defensive. This puts ppl at ease so they don't have to walk on egg shells. You'll get better responses from others this way.\n5. Set boundaries for yourself and others. Boundaries let ppl know what is acceptable. This signals that you have self-respect and others will respect that. They will also feel safe around you knowing you have boundaries.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nUltimately, it's a process. Charisma is not something that happens overnight and it isn't something that most ppl are born with. It's a trait that's developed over time. Every charismatic person is self-secure even if they have insecurities. That is what makes them human and attractive.\n\nOnce you feel comfortable in your own skin and like yourself for who you are, others will like you, too.", "1. Branch out and try as many new things as possible. Try new activities, learn a new language, join a new club, try all kinds of things. Try as many things as you can! Birdwatching, hiking, environmental groups; dance classes, jazz dance or hiphop; boxing classes; go to a rock climbing gym; join a book club; read books about a variety of topics & variety of genres--mystery, spy; the history of the French revolution---start with things that kind of pique your interest, but also try things you'd NEVER think you'd like. Cooking classes. Japanese classes. Art classes. Music. Volunteer at a cat or dog rescue. Widen your interests as widely as you possibly can. As you do this, you'll find (a) you have a LOT more to talk about and (b) you'll discover things you actually really love, and you'll get better and better at them and REALLY have interesting things to share. You'll also meet people you share interests with, and they'll introduce you to other stuff. \n2. When you meet someone new--TALK ABOUT THEM. Ask all about them, their interests, their recent activities, what they like to do, what they're reading, what games they're playing, and then ask more questions about THAT. \n\nSo it's really just two things: Develop as many interests as possible, so YOU become more interesting; and when you talk to people, talk about THEM, which will (seriously!) make you seem like the most interesting person they've ever met!", "1) Ask questions about them, people love talking about themselves and just want someone to listen. If you are that person for them, they’ll love it.\n\n2) Smile, have positive body language. Don’t look tired, unenthusiastic or bored. People won’t like this. People naturally move towards people that look approachable and happy. \n\n3) Have hobbies/interests. Most people will say “oh what did you get up to on the weekend” or “what have you been up to”. If you say nothing or not much, this just kills the conversation.", "Who gives a flying floop about being interesting?! What you find interesting is different than the next person. Instead, focus on being genuine; do things you enjoy on your free time. Remember, it's your free time, so stop allowing others control it! ✌️ Peace!", "I’ve always said to myself, and to others, “no matter how bad you think you have it, there’s always someone worse off than you.” Be grateful.", "Don’t even worry about it follow your dreams and become proficient at something and you will find respect." ]

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[ "Easiest way to deal with a locking jaw? Short and simple: My jaw occasionally locks throughout the day, usually in the morning, and randomly unlocks during the day. \nIf I can't unlock it, how can I eat more easily and not starve myself?", "Easiest way to deal with a locking jaw? Short and simple: My jaw occasionally locks throughout the day, usually in the morning, and randomly unlocks during the day. \nIf I can't unlock it, how can I eat more easily and not starve myself?", "Easiest way to deal with a locking jaw? Short and simple: My jaw occasionally locks throughout the day, usually in the morning, and randomly unlocks during the day. \nIf I can't unlock it, how can I eat more easily and not starve myself?" ]

[ "Dentist here. \n\nLikely a problem with one or both disks in the TMJ. Morning locks are common since the joint will seat overnight and the muscles contract. Inflammation of the joint space can get things to move poorly too. (anti-inflammatories can help) Surgery is really a last resort type of thing, especially if there is a lot of pain involved or erosion of the joint space. \n\nSee a dentist for an eval of the joint (does it pop when opening?, when closing? L side only?, R side only?, is the alignment of the teeth affecting the movement of the joint?). There are also different scans for the joint which can help diagnosis. A nightguard would likely be the starting point. It would prevent clenching at night along with the joint and/or disk from seating in a position that locks the jaw. ", "Same but milder; jaw eventually pops after biting down repeatedly. Weirdly, a finger in the ear seems to help?", "Holy shit!!!! This happens to my left side. I didn't know it was a common problem. This kinda relieves me. Some mornings it's terrible. And it's a LOUD pop multiple times. Then is kinda loosens up. \n\nHow do they fix the problem permanently? Or is that not an option? " ]

[ 3, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to create a reading habit? Since I started working I've noticed that I need to read more, I would end up helping with personal knowledge (how to deal with people, for ex) and to have something to connect with others, besides the obvious knowledge generated.\n\nSome people find book an outdated method, but do not agree. What is your opinion?\n\nI'm thinking of buying a kindle and spend paying for the digital books and not downloading them, it's just that I always downloaded several and even read it was one or the other.\n\nDo you find it advantageous to pay for a book vs. get it for free? Helped in the habit of reading? Taking away the moral part of the thing.", "How to create a reading habit? Since I started working I've noticed that I need to read more, I would end up helping with personal knowledge (how to deal with people, for ex) and to have something to connect with others, besides the obvious knowledge generated.\n\nSome people find book an outdated method, but do not agree. What is your opinion?\n\nI'm thinking of buying a kindle and spend paying for the digital books and not downloading them, it's just that I always downloaded several and even read it was one or the other.\n\nDo you find it advantageous to pay for a book vs. get it for free? Helped in the habit of reading? Taking away the moral part of the thing.", "How to create a reading habit? Since I started working I've noticed that I need to read more, I would end up helping with personal knowledge (how to deal with people, for ex) and to have something to connect with others, besides the obvious knowledge generated.\n\nSome people find book an outdated method, but do not agree. What is your opinion?\n\nI'm thinking of buying a kindle and spend paying for the digital books and not downloading them, it's just that I always downloaded several and even read it was one or the other.\n\nDo you find it advantageous to pay for a book vs. get it for free? Helped in the habit of reading? Taking away the moral part of the thing.", "How to create a reading habit? Since I started working I've noticed that I need to read more, I would end up helping with personal knowledge (how to deal with people, for ex) and to have something to connect with others, besides the obvious knowledge generated.\n\nSome people find book an outdated method, but do not agree. What is your opinion?\n\nI'm thinking of buying a kindle and spend paying for the digital books and not downloading them, it's just that I always downloaded several and even read it was one or the other.\n\nDo you find it advantageous to pay for a book vs. get it for free? Helped in the habit of reading? Taking away the moral part of the thing.", "How to create a reading habit? Since I started working I've noticed that I need to read more, I would end up helping with personal knowledge (how to deal with people, for ex) and to have something to connect with others, besides the obvious knowledge generated.\n\nSome people find book an outdated method, but do not agree. What is your opinion?\n\nI'm thinking of buying a kindle and spend paying for the digital books and not downloading them, it's just that I always downloaded several and even read it was one or the other.\n\nDo you find it advantageous to pay for a book vs. get it for free? Helped in the habit of reading? Taking away the moral part of the thing.", "How to create a reading habit? Since I started working I've noticed that I need to read more, I would end up helping with personal knowledge (how to deal with people, for ex) and to have something to connect with others, besides the obvious knowledge generated.\n\nSome people find book an outdated method, but do not agree. What is your opinion?\n\nI'm thinking of buying a kindle and spend paying for the digital books and not downloading them, it's just that I always downloaded several and even read it was one or the other.\n\nDo you find it advantageous to pay for a book vs. get it for free? Helped in the habit of reading? Taking away the moral part of the thing.", "How to create a reading habit? Since I started working I've noticed that I need to read more, I would end up helping with personal knowledge (how to deal with people, for ex) and to have something to connect with others, besides the obvious knowledge generated.\n\nSome people find book an outdated method, but do not agree. What is your opinion?\n\nI'm thinking of buying a kindle and spend paying for the digital books and not downloading them, it's just that I always downloaded several and even read it was one or the other.\n\nDo you find it advantageous to pay for a book vs. get it for free? Helped in the habit of reading? Taking away the moral part of the thing." ]

[ "Your public library. Paper books, ebooks, audiobooks, occasional live author interface, stuff you haven’t imagined yet. Connect with it all via your public library. \n\nYou’ll still want to own books that are meaningful to you, ", "If you have long commutes or lots of gym time you might like Audible. I get through lodes more books than I would be able to by reading alone because I can multitask. ", "Go to the library. Download Libby. Read different things to find what you like. I’ve read about 0 books in the past 4 years. And I’m about 22 books deep now in the past 2 months.", "Use your commute time to read. (If you drive, use Audible. If you’re on the train, use a Kindle).\n\nSet yourself a target for #books to read in 2019. There are various apps that can help with this.", "Use scribd. The have alot of free books unlimited download as long as you are member for that month.\nI find it easier to read off a smartphone then a book too.", "There are a lot of people who think reading physical books is better and in some ways I do enjoy holding a book and there are some that are not available for e-readers. I prefer an e-reader simply because I can carry so many books on a small device. I used to have an actual e-reader but switched to a tablet since I can do so many other things and install all kinds of programs including the e-reader app which is free. \n\nI noticed lately that there are many motivational, get rich and habits of billionaires etc that are saying reading is one of their secrets to success. \n\nBut I think that is stating the obvious, as if it's a secret they invented. I found that reading especially the classics of literature and philosophy etc to be mind expanding, I feel I own my open minded, liberal attitude from reading, it gives you different perspectives on the world. \nOf course there are kinds of self help, finance, investing books to help you expand and improve yourself, your skills etc.\n\nTV has improved in many ways but most of it is formulaic and pales in comparison to the plots, the themes, the ideas that you find in books.\n\nAs for habit, the usual is to read in bed before you fall asleep. I also read in the morning just when I get up and I'm having my coffee, even on a weekday before work, I find it helps to get my brain in gear. I also read on Saturday or Sunday mornings when I have a lazy chill out morning.\nBut just creating a routine where you set aside an hour every day at the same time is a good start.\nOver time books can easily develop into far more than an hourly routine, if I get really wrapped up in a book I will spend a whole evening reading it. I have on a number.of occasions became engrossed in some horror or thriller that I lose track of time and read until 4 am.\n", "I’m probably more likely to finish a book I spent money on than one I got for free myself. \nEither way, they say the way to form a new habit is to pair it with something you already do. So put your book on your pillow to remind you to read every night when you get in bed, or put a book in the bathroom by your toothbrush so you remember to pick it up after you’ve brushed your teeth, etc. " ]

[ 4, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How do you take a conversation to the \"next level\", beyond small talk? I had a first date this evening with a girl I'm interested in! It went pretty well, but there were definitely a few more breaks in the flow of conversation than I would have liked. I don't consider myself a bad conversationalist, but often times when meeting someone new I have trouble getting it to the point where it feels effortless. \n\n I've noticed that some people seem to have an uncanny ability to take conversations to the \"next level\". They'll meet someone and ten minutes later both be deeply engrossed in the conversation. Does anyone have any tips to get there?", "How do you take a conversation to the \"next level\", beyond small talk? I had a first date this evening with a girl I'm interested in! It went pretty well, but there were definitely a few more breaks in the flow of conversation than I would have liked. I don't consider myself a bad conversationalist, but often times when meeting someone new I have trouble getting it to the point where it feels effortless. \n\n I've noticed that some people seem to have an uncanny ability to take conversations to the \"next level\". They'll meet someone and ten minutes later both be deeply engrossed in the conversation. Does anyone have any tips to get there?", "How do you take a conversation to the \"next level\", beyond small talk? I had a first date this evening with a girl I'm interested in! It went pretty well, but there were definitely a few more breaks in the flow of conversation than I would have liked. I don't consider myself a bad conversationalist, but often times when meeting someone new I have trouble getting it to the point where it feels effortless. \n\n I've noticed that some people seem to have an uncanny ability to take conversations to the \"next level\". They'll meet someone and ten minutes later both be deeply engrossed in the conversation. Does anyone have any tips to get there?", "How do you take a conversation to the \"next level\", beyond small talk? I had a first date this evening with a girl I'm interested in! It went pretty well, but there were definitely a few more breaks in the flow of conversation than I would have liked. I don't consider myself a bad conversationalist, but often times when meeting someone new I have trouble getting it to the point where it feels effortless. \n\n I've noticed that some people seem to have an uncanny ability to take conversations to the \"next level\". They'll meet someone and ten minutes later both be deeply engrossed in the conversation. Does anyone have any tips to get there?", "How do you take a conversation to the \"next level\", beyond small talk? I had a first date this evening with a girl I'm interested in! It went pretty well, but there were definitely a few more breaks in the flow of conversation than I would have liked. I don't consider myself a bad conversationalist, but often times when meeting someone new I have trouble getting it to the point where it feels effortless. \n\n I've noticed that some people seem to have an uncanny ability to take conversations to the \"next level\". They'll meet someone and ten minutes later both be deeply engrossed in the conversation. Does anyone have any tips to get there?", "How do you take a conversation to the \"next level\", beyond small talk? I had a first date this evening with a girl I'm interested in! It went pretty well, but there were definitely a few more breaks in the flow of conversation than I would have liked. I don't consider myself a bad conversationalist, but often times when meeting someone new I have trouble getting it to the point where it feels effortless. \n\n I've noticed that some people seem to have an uncanny ability to take conversations to the \"next level\". They'll meet someone and ten minutes later both be deeply engrossed in the conversation. Does anyone have any tips to get there?", "How do you take a conversation to the \"next level\", beyond small talk? I had a first date this evening with a girl I'm interested in! It went pretty well, but there were definitely a few more breaks in the flow of conversation than I would have liked. I don't consider myself a bad conversationalist, but often times when meeting someone new I have trouble getting it to the point where it feels effortless. \n\n I've noticed that some people seem to have an uncanny ability to take conversations to the \"next level\". They'll meet someone and ten minutes later both be deeply engrossed in the conversation. Does anyone have any tips to get there?", "How do you take a conversation to the \"next level\", beyond small talk? I had a first date this evening with a girl I'm interested in! It went pretty well, but there were definitely a few more breaks in the flow of conversation than I would have liked. I don't consider myself a bad conversationalist, but often times when meeting someone new I have trouble getting it to the point where it feels effortless. \n\n I've noticed that some people seem to have an uncanny ability to take conversations to the \"next level\". They'll meet someone and ten minutes later both be deeply engrossed in the conversation. Does anyone have any tips to get there?", "How do you take a conversation to the \"next level\", beyond small talk? I had a first date this evening with a girl I'm interested in! It went pretty well, but there were definitely a few more breaks in the flow of conversation than I would have liked. I don't consider myself a bad conversationalist, but often times when meeting someone new I have trouble getting it to the point where it feels effortless. \n\n I've noticed that some people seem to have an uncanny ability to take conversations to the \"next level\". They'll meet someone and ten minutes later both be deeply engrossed in the conversation. Does anyone have any tips to get there?", "How do you take a conversation to the \"next level\", beyond small talk? I had a first date this evening with a girl I'm interested in! It went pretty well, but there were definitely a few more breaks in the flow of conversation than I would have liked. I don't consider myself a bad conversationalist, but often times when meeting someone new I have trouble getting it to the point where it feels effortless. \n\n I've noticed that some people seem to have an uncanny ability to take conversations to the \"next level\". They'll meet someone and ten minutes later both be deeply engrossed in the conversation. Does anyone have any tips to get there?", "How do you take a conversation to the \"next level\", beyond small talk? I had a first date this evening with a girl I'm interested in! It went pretty well, but there were definitely a few more breaks in the flow of conversation than I would have liked. I don't consider myself a bad conversationalist, but often times when meeting someone new I have trouble getting it to the point where it feels effortless. \n\n I've noticed that some people seem to have an uncanny ability to take conversations to the \"next level\". They'll meet someone and ten minutes later both be deeply engrossed in the conversation. Does anyone have any tips to get there?" ]

[ "People generally are interested in talking about themselves. So ask them questions that prompt them to do so. And if you're actually interested in what they have to say, conversation will flow easily.", "What are your hopes, your fears, your passions, your dreams? tell me your pet peeves, what bugs you? ", "People like to talk about themselves... But specifically, one aspect of themselves. The trick is to listen and figure out what that is, and then find the parts of that that you are genuinely curious about, and explore the subject. \"You play the kazoo in a kazoo band! That is such a coincidence, I have always wanted to learn how to play! Tell me more about how people get into that sorta thing.\"", "I find that the more I try to actively listen and really pay attention to what the other person has to say, and really try to see what makes them tick, the better chance I have at making a deep, meaningful conversation with that person. Find out what they believe in, what they hold dear. Ask them questions about those things, and their passion about those subjects will shine through.", "talk about things in common\n\nwide smile and laugh\n\nbored? weird facial expressions\n\ntalk about your weird day\n\nlook at how these people talk: seth rogen, dave franco\n\ni find they go along very very easily", "Talk about things you actually care about.\n\nReligion and politics are probably bad places to start (unless those are dealbreakers for you), but everything else is fair game.\n\nPractice explaining your passions to outsiders who have no idea what that thing is or why someone would be interested. Even less-socially-acceptable things get more interesting if you talk them up properly. Gaming, for instance, is often considered frivolous in the circles I run in, but I can very seriously and passionately hold forth on (1) games as art (2) games as exploration and learning tools and (3) a few individual games I think are awesome, all without embarrassing myself. Having passions makes you *interesting*.\n\nTalk about things that are often important to people. Family, for instance, usually gets a strong response. Ask me about mine, I could talk for hours. Hobbies, pets, childhood memories, favorite books or movies, and work/school are some other likely targets.\n\nAnd, as many others have said, *listen*. When I say \"talk\", I also mean listening to the other person and paying attention to them *even when your own mouth is doing the flapping*. Their reactions are important clues; they can lead you to treasure and keep you off the land mines. Ask questions and pay attention to the answers, not just to the words but also the delivery.", "Some folks have commented, but the best way to make someone like you and have a good conversation is to have the other person talking more than you. Works in personal situation and is a phenomenal tactic for job interviews. For personal situations, my go to question is asking, \"what's new with you?\" Actually listen to the answer and don't just be thinking about what you are going to say after the other person stops talking. Follow up questions include:\n\nWhat do you like about that thing?\n\nHow does that thing make you feel?\n\nTry and find some aspect of that thing you don't know about or are generally curious about and ask about that detail. Peel the onion.", "Listen and find something that you are somewhat knowledgeable or at least curious about and steer the conversation towards that. This way if they are passionate about it they will love talking about it, and you can contribute or even learn something from the conversation.", "Keep up with the small talk and come up with some diff. things to talk about. Once you find somthing she is interested in stay there and dig deeper. then once that convo has died out move back to small talk until your next opportunity to dig deeper. Dont try to get into deep convo about everything but you should be able to see when shes into something and when he doesnt know much info about it. GL ", "Silences and pauses are not your enemy, they are a normal part of communication, like darkness is to light.\n\nTo take it to the next level of conversation, focus on just getting to know her. From small talk, progress with gentleness to general questions about what she likes and enjoys intertwined with telling her about your life and what you enjoy.", "Maybe dont focus on making the quick ten minute transition and go at your own pace? \n\nAlso, a beer or two never hurt anyone in terms of loosening up and going with the flow. " ]

[ 15, 4, 3, 3, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0, 0 ]

[ "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?", "How to Get Motivated when You are Overwhelmed We've all been there, right? When you have so much work on your plate you just want to give up &amp; assume the fetal position. But that isn't a good strategy &amp; you know that dragging your feet or staying unmotivated just makes it all take longer &amp; you get further behind ...\n\nHow do you get yourself moving forward &amp; ignore the feelings of \"it's all futile\"?" ]

[ "Divide all the tasks you must do into separate tasks and separate parts of tasks and prioritize them.\n\nIf you're being overwhelmed by a \"to do\" list and have a lot of little easy quick tasks on that list -- and if you have no time limit on the larger tasks -- you could work to rid yourself of the small ones so they don't clutter your mind by either doing those smaller tasks or, after listing them, set the list of smaller tasks aside and then focus on those tasks that have the most urgency.\n\nIf you're being overwhelmed by financial woes, quit spending anything other than for the barest necessities and begin now to live a very frugal life. Paying off those debts with the highest interest and/or debt consolidation should be considered. Downsize: Live within your means and at least consider selling what you do not absolutely need and, therefore, cannot afford to keep. \n\nIf you're being overwhelmed by personal /social / family obligations on your time, put yourself at or very near the top of the list -- you cannot help others feeling totally overwhelmed.", "My father is a physics professor and so occasionally has to advise students who are feeling totally overwhelmed by the size and complexity of a PhD. He gives this advice:\n\n\"Imagine you've just finished dinner, and someone brings you a giant cake. If you tried to eat it all in one sitting, you'd feel sick and give up after only a few slices, right?\n\nNow, think about when you have a delicious cake in the refrigerator. Every time you're hungry it's impossible to resist, and before you know it, the cake is gone, and you barely even remember eating it.\"\n\nOf course, in real life the tasks you have to accomplish are not always as much fun as eating cake, but the principle stands. Don't get bogged down thinking about how much more you have to do. It's more important to simply get started, and keep working hard. Set smaller goals and once things are underway and you can start to notice the progress, everything seems much less overwhelming. It can even feel satisfying to make small steps on a big project!\n\nI'm in the midst of a PhD myself, and whenever the amount of work, or the number of things I don't know seems totally overwhelming, I try to forget about that, and just get to work. On the toughest days, I'll make sure to work on something easier, so I know I'll get at least one or two things done. \n\nI hope this helps, and best of luck!", "Subdivide the tasks until they are no longer overwhelming. You need to eat the elephant? You don't write that on your to-do list. First you must get a fork from the kitchen. Is that too much? To get the fork from the kitchen, first you must stand up.\n\nEating the elephant is easiest when you remember to take one bite at a time.", "i've started adopting the \"concentrate on what's directly in front of you\" tactic.\n\nso rather than looking at how much of a mess the entire house is, i focus on whatever is in front of where i am right that minute. i take care of it and move forward incrementally. if in the process of doing that task, i find myself in another room (having to put stuff away in a bedroom or bathroom), then i either start working on whatever's in front of me in that room, or i don't look at what's there at all, just go back to the room i was working on.\n\neventually you get to the end of the mess, and you turn around and see that the room is clean. but if you just take care of what's within the 3' circle directly in front of you, then it's a lot easier to deal with.", "Keep your head down and push through as much as you can in a day. Take a few breathes and relax. If you don't get it everything you planned on doing in that day, it's okay. Just try to accomplish more than you did the previous day and carry on. \n\nAlso getting started is usually the hardest part. Don't dwell on it. The more you push things off the amount of work you have to do just condenses onto fewer days.", "Hi\n\nI'd like to add on to this please. I'm a social worker - a stressful, busy job where if I just worked on my to do list it would take me four weeks to get through. But every day at work, I am assaulted by emails and phone calls. Some about existing problems, some about new problems, and a lot of very upset people. I also have a regular caseload of clients to look after, some of whom get forgotten if they are not in crisis.\n\nThe 'break down the problem into smaller steps' suggestion doesn't work well in this fluid situation as new things crop up constantly.\n\nDifferent people at work cope with this in different ways. Some say fuck it and go home at 5 no matter what. Some work themselves into the grave trying to do it all. Some delete all their emails, saying 'if it's important they'll call back'. But this does not work for me as I have to keep accurate records of communication and legal documents etc. To be honest the only thing that works for is accepting that I try to do a good job but there will be mistakes and I can't do it all. I hold my head up to a good service to some people, an OK service to most people and a not satisfactory service some of the time.\n\nIf anyone's got any tips that are better than that, I'd love to hear 'em.\n\nTa x", "Step back. Walk away. Take a nap. \n\nSeriously. When your mind and body are saying you're overwhelmed, the appropriate response is not to try harder. ", "Y'all are gonna give op so many options, it'll cause even more stress! I always just promise myself I'll do my best, break it down into manageable and timeline-appropriate tasks and go nuts. Work too hard yesterday? Treat yourself to a calm lunch hour or something - I swear, the mind refocuses best the minute you stop trying to think about it all sometimes. Then keep track of progress and keep hacking away! Take a moment to enjoy a good one too - if life is too-much work for a while, then you should factor in some downtime too.", "Write a 3-7 item to do list, no more, and promise yourself a 5 minute break after writing it, and after completing each step. \n\nAll of the items on it must be phrased as a reasonable and specific instruction you could tell an intern to do in the next hour. For example: \"Make coffee\" is a useful next to do. \"coffee\" is not an instruction. Buy, grind and brew coffee is not reasonable, that's three instructions.", "This tends to happen to me at work. I just tackle the smaller, quicker jobs first and it really takes the anxiety down a notch. ", "There are some really great advice on here, so I'll try to share what I do to deal with all the craziness in my life.\n\nBefore I had a routine I use to have a to do list. The way I task my self is to take on only 2 major task and several small task per day. Major task would be something that could take 2-4 hours and small task take no more than 45 minutes to complete l. I prioritze all task by importance or severity, if a task take more than 4 hours to complete then I segment the task and determine when they should/need to be done.\n\nSimilar to the previous poster when the task is too much for one person then ask for help. \n\nWhatever task I get I usually try to get them started right away even if I can only spend a little time on it, i can always chip away at it. \n\nI don't focus on details, I simply look at the overall picture/bigger picture. However if I need to put out a higher quality then I'll shift my gears and adjust my schedule accordingly. This is actually why I only schedule 2 major task per day. In emergency situations smaller task can simply be bump and add the major task in. The purpose of doing this is so I don't become overwhelmed.\n\nSimplicity keeps everything in line and prevent overwhelming situations. Having a gods eye view/ top down view allows me to see how much work I've done. Its motivating to see progress. Good luck, i hope this helps you out.", "My $0.02:\n\nChecklists, checklists, checklists! Every time you check something off it is kind of like a video game achievement. You just want to get more.", "Make a unique game out of your daily routine. You're now the only person in the world who plays this game. Failure is impossible.", "I mentally sort through everything I need to do and identify the tasks that are time sensitive and most important and prioritize from there. I then identify smaller chunks of work and knock them out one at a time. Getting small goals accomplished does wonders for your motivation and confidence.", "Break the big problems into little problems, then grind those into tiny problems, and fix the tiny problems. Don't think, just do.", "\"What is the ONE thing I can do today/this week that will make all the other things easier or unnecessary?\"", "I've been there too. For me it was an attitude problem. When things got hard I tended to think it was to much work to do and feel overwhelmed even when I knew I could do it. Thinking about it and learning (mostly reading), I realized my mindset was wrong: instead of seeing problems like something bad, you can make them an opportunity to improve, a challenge.\n\nI found this way of thinking is called stoicism, \"The obstacle is the way\" is a good book about it. If you don't have time to read the entire book, reading a few chapters helps you get the idea enogh to motivate you.", "I'm sure it's been said way better than the short bit I'm about to write.\n\nJust set a simple goal. Maybe just straightening your desk or something. A small achievement is motivation and breeds further work. Maybe that small goal is the only thing you accomplished that day. Relish in your victory and set another small goal for the next day. Before you know it, you're rocking out goals left and right. \n\nSet realistic easy goals at first and when a groove sets in start challenging yourself further." ]

[ 41, 16, 8, 6, 5, 5, 4, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to negotiate a salary I'm about graduate from college and I don't want to begin my professional life underpaid. Particularly as a female, I don't want to fall victim to the wage gap. Stuff like this is constantly changing so it is hard to find anything applicable via Google searches.", "How to negotiate a salary I'm about graduate from college and I don't want to begin my professional life underpaid. Particularly as a female, I don't want to fall victim to the wage gap. Stuff like this is constantly changing so it is hard to find anything applicable via Google searches.", "How to negotiate a salary I'm about graduate from college and I don't want to begin my professional life underpaid. Particularly as a female, I don't want to fall victim to the wage gap. Stuff like this is constantly changing so it is hard to find anything applicable via Google searches.", "How to negotiate a salary I'm about graduate from college and I don't want to begin my professional life underpaid. Particularly as a female, I don't want to fall victim to the wage gap. Stuff like this is constantly changing so it is hard to find anything applicable via Google searches.", "How to negotiate a salary I'm about graduate from college and I don't want to begin my professional life underpaid. Particularly as a female, I don't want to fall victim to the wage gap. Stuff like this is constantly changing so it is hard to find anything applicable via Google searches.", "How to negotiate a salary I'm about graduate from college and I don't want to begin my professional life underpaid. Particularly as a female, I don't want to fall victim to the wage gap. Stuff like this is constantly changing so it is hard to find anything applicable via Google searches." ]

[ "Well, it depends on the industry and job you want to break into. Starting off in a \"low\" salary isn't the worst thing in the world, it's how you leverage it into something more. I think the problem with millennials is their sense of entitlement (note: I'm 30 myself) and not wanting to pay their dues. Unless you've been born with a silver spoon in your mouth or have a really rare and sought-after skill set, you'll have to \"settle\" for a salary that may not initially be what you desire.\n\nBut what's your degree in and what kind of job do you hope to get? And do you live in a big city, or small city/town?", "yup depends on industry. \n\ni was a hiring manager for a fortune 20 company.\n\nlets say your going for an analyst position...the range may be 45-50.\n\ni would start at 45 unless you put your at 47...then i might go a little more if i wanted/needed your skill set. for me to go above the range a compensation committee has set, i would need approval and explain why.\n\ni liked to start people at the higher end of the range. \n\nyou didnt provide any real info so no one can answer your question fairly.\n\nif your applying as a walmart cashier you wont have room to really negotiate. ", "The easiest phrase to remember is \"I am interviewing for roles in the XXk to XXk range.\"\n\nUnderstand, the company always hears the lowest number and you will always think the highest, but using this phrasing let's the company know that you have options (even if you don't), but also doesn't discourage them from making you and offer. You also haven't lied by saying you have other offers when you don't. \n\nAlso, if pressed harder... \"I am hoping to receive competitive offers in the XXk-XXk range, and will take full benefits and bonuses offered into account along with the environment and opportunity.\"", "Do as much research as possible and go in knowing exactly what the market average is. The gender gap right out of college isn't particularly bad, because it tends to widen later in life as women get saddled with caretaker responsibilities. But, a sleazy employer could still capitalize on your ignorance. Best thing is to know exactly what you're worth. Really, though, at the entry level in the modern economy, salary negotiation is kind of a myth. There's no shortage of grads, and if you don't take what they're offering, the next person will.", "There is no gender wage gap. When adjusted for everything, the wage gap for genders is 0. There is still a racial pay gap when adjusted though. ", "Luckily for you, the wage gap isn't real.\n\nNegotiating strategies on the other hand are still good to learn." ]

[ 4, 3, 1, 1, -2, -3 ]

[ "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze.", "Help an insomniac doze off for a good night's sleep I've had trouble sleeping for a long time (mostly because of depression and anxiety), so I normally use OTC sleep aids, but I'm short on cash now and didn't have time to buy anymore after running out.\n\nAs a result, I've slept for about three hours in the last day and a half. Help me snooze." ]

[ "I've heard that you can make yourself go to sleep more rapidly by resisting what is known as a \"roll-over urge\". After relaxing for a while in a certain position it is common for people to experience a sudden urge to move or roll over to a different position. This is caused by the brain sending a signal to test if the body is asleep or not. Obviously you are awake if you respond to the signal.\n\nIn most cases, if you resist the urge for long enough you will fall asleep almost immediately. From personal experience this method can be quite irritating because the signal will become almost painful, however it does work if you persist. Sometimes though people may experience a number of minor signals rather than a single major one. Similarly however, you must resist all of these.\n\nThe \"roll-over urge\" can also adopt different forms. If you are lying on your front or back you will feel inclined to roll to your side. If you are on your side you may feel the urge to move your legs or roll to the other side.\n\nA 3 step procedure that may assist with resisting this urge goes as follows:\n\n1. STOP all movement and lay still on your back. Place your arms above your head and make sure your feet are not crossed. Try to slow brain activity.\n\n2. DROP your arms after a while of being as relaxed as possible in this position. The release of tension in your shoulders will quickly bring you to the state of deep relaxation required to prompt a signal.\n\n3. ROLL over very slowly after resisting any sort of roll-over urge after you lower your arms. If this movement is slow and relaxed enough you should fall asleep very quickly.\n\nJust remember stop, drop and roll. ", "you could watch the movie \"MacBeth\" on netflix\n\ncommon side affects\nExtreme fatigue \nsuicidal thoughts\n\nuse at own risk lol", "I am not sure if this will be useful, but visualization tricks sometimes help me. Not counting sheep, but imagine waves swelling in and out with your breaths, carrying you out to sea, sinking deep below, taking slow, relaxed breaths. Sorry if this doesn't help. Hope you get some good rest.", "meletonin, its cheap (like $6 at wal-mart) and if you only take half of the pill it makes your supply last twice as long. It increases your natural levels and relaxes you naturally. You have to find your own dose but too much will make you sleep forever. At least that's how it works with me", "I have found that listening to audiobooks helps me drop off and gives me something to focus on other than anxiety-producing topics like work or whatever. Of course, it helps if the audiobook in question isn't too hectic or stressful. I went through all of the Game of Thrones/Song of Ice and Fire books like this, it's kind of like being read to as a child and I find it relaxes me enough to drop off, usually within half an hour.\n", "From my experience with dealing with anxiety, I can recommend sort of allowing the train of thought to run loose while trying to sleep. Sometimes it would need a bit of forcing for the first minute or so, making your internal monologue a bit nonsensical, going with the first association. Then it sort of goes on by itself, and you become almost lost in it &mdash; then the only need is to keep slightly focused on it instead of anything else (\"so, am I asleep yet?\"). These kind of thought can jerk you awake pretty rapidly, but then staying on course of the thought is quite easy, especially with practice.\n\n\nFor instance it would go like this:\n\n*OK, let's allow my thoughts to drift away... Cast away, haven't seen that movie [sees a poster]. Yeah, don't like the girl who recommended it to me either, although I'd love to visit Montenegro. With my feet splashing in the blue water... It strangely deforms them, what if that's not just an optical illusion? And all these tiny rocks, the white ones, sort of moving around like a rock dune... And camels... The desert should be wet like the sea... Mmm, I can smell fresh rain... Is it raining outside?* (At this point I'd probably be half asleep that I'm in my room. Ofc it would not come so soon.)", "Breathe. Count your breaths. In is 1 out is 2. Let those numbers take over your mind. One and two. Breathe deeply. Breathe into your stomach.", "I recently read an article about the state of your bedroom affecting your ability to sleep. A clean, dark, cool, quiet room and a comfortable bed with clean bedding and a good pillow are all important. Be sure to cut out caffeine after supper and tv or computer screen light or bright room lights late into the night. Dim the lights. Have a hot shower and a cool rinse. Or a bath. Fresh air is also very helpful, so an open window might help unless you live near traffic. There are endless home remedies. A quick online search will give you a lot of solid advice. ", "I have compiled a long list of various techniques [here](http://www.sheldondrake.com/How_to_Get_to_Sleep.html), hope something there is useful.\n\nseveral other useful tutorials on the site as well, especially the one on problem solving.", "I don't know if these will help you, but here are the sleeping guidelines I adhere to:\n\n* No TV in the bedroom.\n* No activities allowed in bed except for: sleep and sex.\n* Stretch before you go to bed.\n\nAnd then if you can\n\n* Exercise during the day\n* Stop watching TV an hour or so before bed.\n* Stop eating a few hours before bed.\n\nAnd then, this sometimes works for me, no idea why. I think it just helps me clear my head.\n\n* When you're trying to go to sleep: 1 - I'm dreaming, 2 - I'm dreaming, 3 - I'm dreaming, 4 - I'm dreaming, etc.\n\nIf you're like me. You'll never get passed 15.", "Go to a herb shop. My local farmers market has a great stall that sells all sorts of medicinal herbs and spices. Pick up some Valerian root. The stuff smells like ass, ignore that. Make it into a tea. Let it brew and drink it about 30-60min before bed time. \n\nYou are welcome. \n\nI should mention that its cheep. I picked up about 8oz (enough for a long long time) for about $5. ", "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binaural_beats\n\nCheck out binaural beats, do some more research, and make your own using Audacity. I made some before that stimulated brain activity to make me dream (never felt rested when I woke up though). Look up how to make ones that decrease brain activity, etc.", "ZMA\n\nIt has no side effects and helps me to sleep well.\n\nIt also boosts your immune system and testosterone production.\n\nMight be expensive though... but when you have money again it could be a good investment.\n\nGood luck!", "Whenever i need to sleep, i watch Linkara from Thatguyswiththeglasses.\n\nI dont know why, because i like his bad comic reviews.", "There's a software called [F.lux](http://stereopsis.com/flux/). When the sun sets in your area it tones down the blue light in your monitor. Blue light triggers the reset button of your body clock, so avoiding it when you want to sleep is good. I use it and love it, others complain it doesn't work, while others have had trouble going through exams because they couldn't study all night.", "Purchase some fine hemp flowers from your neighborhood salesman and burn like you live in Colorado. Following deforestation commence fading of your waking life ", "Plug good headphones into your computer and search for some ASMR videos on Youtube. Getting the chills down the spine is my favorite way of relaxing my body completely and going to sleep.\n\nCan't do it too many nights in succession though, otherwise you build up a resistance.", "Penn and Teller did an episode of Bullshit! on this, [maybe you'll find some of the info useful](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KREkwkmRLBs)", "If you don't want smoke weed go out and get a bottle of melatonin and the darkest chocolate you can find pop a pill and eat a square of chocolate you will wake up rested \n", "I suffer from chronic gouty arthritis and insomnia, so I have pain on top of sleeplessness most nights. I can't handel smoking marijuana so I vaporize it. Pain is numbed to a manageable amount and I sleep like a baby. Has made me a happier person.", "I have the reverse problem — I woke up at 5:15 AM today even though I'm on summer break. \n\nA number of people in this thread have mentioned breathing and trying to visualize your own relaxation. I've found this to be useful, but it's easy for my mind to wander when I try to do this on my own. I used to have an audio visualization/relaxation tape which was quite effective (not only in moments when I needed to totally unwind, but also to give myself a baseline to return to during stressful moments out in the world). \n\nRecently I made [this track](http://fbesp.org/mindwipe.mp3) as a replacement. Maybe it'll be useful for you?\n\nGood luck!", "Drinking a lot of water before bed helps me sleep. Even if I don't end up falling asleep until after I need to pee again. Also being clean and in a nice clean bed. Maybe you could see a doctor about it, assuming you haven't already. Maybe a prescription to something would be cheaper. Depends on the medicine though. And also, if I can't sleep, I don't force myself to try. It just creates unnecessary stress. I'll just go do something else until I feel tired again. ", "Bed bugs? Mosquitoes? Spiders? Mix eucalyptus and tea tree essential oil into your face cream or lotion.", "Be sure you're eating enough for dinner. Eat no sugar (candy, soda, etc.) at least 4 hours before bed time, and never drink caffeine after noon. Take two benadryl right at bed time. Skip the caffeine completely every other day.", "'Ello! Often times a thinner pillow will help sleep! Also, you may want to consider buying some vanilla oil at your local drug store, placing a few drops on a tissue or napkin,and leaving it under your pillow or in your pillow case will calm you :) best of luck have a nice sleep!" ]

[ 34, 14, 10, 9, 6, 5, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "What do I put on my resume or say in an interview if my last boss emotionally abused me before I quit? Asking for a friend that is too afraid to quit her job because she doesn’t want the last two and a half years of her working life to account for nothing.", "What do I put on my resume or say in an interview if my last boss emotionally abused me before I quit? Asking for a friend that is too afraid to quit her job because she doesn’t want the last two and a half years of her working life to account for nothing.", "What do I put on my resume or say in an interview if my last boss emotionally abused me before I quit? Asking for a friend that is too afraid to quit her job because she doesn’t want the last two and a half years of her working life to account for nothing.", "What do I put on my resume or say in an interview if my last boss emotionally abused me before I quit? Asking for a friend that is too afraid to quit her job because she doesn’t want the last two and a half years of her working life to account for nothing.", "What do I put on my resume or say in an interview if my last boss emotionally abused me before I quit? Asking for a friend that is too afraid to quit her job because she doesn’t want the last two and a half years of her working life to account for nothing.", "What do I put on my resume or say in an interview if my last boss emotionally abused me before I quit? Asking for a friend that is too afraid to quit her job because she doesn’t want the last two and a half years of her working life to account for nothing.", "What do I put on my resume or say in an interview if my last boss emotionally abused me before I quit? Asking for a friend that is too afraid to quit her job because she doesn’t want the last two and a half years of her working life to account for nothing." ]

[ "You really don’t have to disclose that at all. When interviewing for a new job, they usually ask something like “so why are you looking to leave your current employer?” \n\nYou don’t have to be completely honest, you could just say something like \n- “they didn’t have the opportunity for progression that I believe you have here.” \n- “I’m looking for a new challenge and your company values align with mine.” \n\nOr something like that. Do not mention abuse at all.\n\nYou 100% don’t need to include anything about why you’re leaving your job on your cv.", "\"I left my previous employer because I was seeking a new challenge\" or \"I was not a good fit for the culture of that company as it employed a management style that I did not find effective\" \n\nThen if they ask follow up questions say something like \"I would never want to bad mouth a previous employer, but I can say that I work better under a management style which offers support, mentoring, and coaching. My previous manager employed a different approach that did not enable me to rise to my potential\"", "You don't have to say why you left. She puts the job on hey resume just like normal, and if asked why she left she just says she felt it was time to look for a new opportunity.", "Talk about your next opportunity when asked why you want to leave, and very little about “what happened” at the last place.", "This should never come up in an interview. \n\nNothing about it ... bringing it up would be a huge red flag.", "You say nothing. Negativity will not get you hired. Think of it this way: They ask why you're leaving. You say emotional abuse. You have just told your interviewers that you're involved in a problem situation. Is the problem really your boss, or is the problem actually you? Your interviewers don't know, so in order to avoid bringing in a potential problem, they don't hire you. \n \nOh, and if you do get hired, also say nothing during your probationary period. Same reason.", "This is a gigantic red flag. I would not hire you if you said this. What would be considered emotional abuse? Did the boss hurl insults daily? Boss made direct comments? \n\n\"These TPS reports suck!\". Try again Susan! That's just work, I wouldn't consider that emotional abuse." ]

[ 25, 9, 6, 5, 4, 1, 1 ]

[ "What Should I do/Where Should I take my gf, so we spend good time together, but don't have to pay too much I live in Warsaw, Poland", "What Should I do/Where Should I take my gf, so we spend good time together, but don't have to pay too much I live in Warsaw, Poland", "What Should I do/Where Should I take my gf, so we spend good time together, but don't have to pay too much I live in Warsaw, Poland", "What Should I do/Where Should I take my gf, so we spend good time together, but don't have to pay too much I live in Warsaw, Poland", "What Should I do/Where Should I take my gf, so we spend good time together, but don't have to pay too much I live in Warsaw, Poland", "What Should I do/Where Should I take my gf, so we spend good time together, but don't have to pay too much I live in Warsaw, Poland", "What Should I do/Where Should I take my gf, so we spend good time together, but don't have to pay too much I live in Warsaw, Poland", "What Should I do/Where Should I take my gf, so we spend good time together, but don't have to pay too much I live in Warsaw, Poland", "What Should I do/Where Should I take my gf, so we spend good time together, but don't have to pay too much I live in Warsaw, Poland", "What Should I do/Where Should I take my gf, so we spend good time together, but don't have to pay too much I live in Warsaw, Poland" ]

[ "- cooking something \"uncommon\" together\n- taking pictures together in uncommon locations (old industrial areas, historical areas, abandond places)\n- painting even if you \"can't\" paint (with finger paint it is even funnier)\n- skating\n- hiking\n- go swimming\n- if you can: build a snowman\n- flea market\n- picnic\n- play boardgames\n- any historical buildings/sightseeing near by?\n- engage in a pillow fight\n\nplease excuse bad translations as english is not my native language", "Pound town? Sorry, couldn't resist. \n\nThink less about what makes for a good date, and more about what you like doing together. Then do that. If that involves money, then get creative and find cheap ways to mimic the experience. ", "Ive been waiting for someone to ask this exact question for awhile! If you live near a \"Main Event\" you can do unlimited bowling during non busy times (weekdays earlier in the day). It might cost around $12 for you both including shoe costs. Idk if its that cheap with a normal bowling alley. Its a whole lot of fun!", "Hiking is always fun (for us) \n\nLeave the phones at home and drive, no music just drive, pick a direction eventually you'll see something you want to stop and do. \n\nUrban exploring, go into your main city, shopping area and just walk around. \n\nGo to your visitor center. I take plenty of vacations with no plan and my girlfriend is a pamphlet queen. By the end if the trip we've run out of time with more to do. \n\nThe most important thing is leave your phones at home or off, pack a lunch, dress comfortably, wear good shoes. This will limit your distractions and let you explore more. ", "Some of my favorite dates Ive had, have been super stupid things. I had a date entirely in my car once. We found some beautiful back roads, and drove in the convertible, with some tunes. \n\nAnother time, we went to another town, gave fake names and used fake accents and spent the day being \"tourists\"\n\nlets see, the park is always fun, especially if your girl is athletic. \n\nand finally, my favorite, but I havent tried yet; the roof of my work. The last time our AC guy came he left the ladder unlocked, and the roof is real nice. I want to get some white Christmas lights, and a few lawn chairs and have a date up their. ", "A cooking class at your local annex, but if not that, then a YouTube video and a grocery store trip. You'll have a blast ", "Nature stuff, if you're into that. Find some good trails and parks around your place, and go exploring", "Depends entirely on what you enjoy, eat, and especially where you live.\n\nWe need more information than this, OP.", "Check out your local library's programs. I live in a smallish 30k town, but our library has tons of community programs. They have stuff from woodworking to cooking, all completely free and open to the public. Learn a new skill while enjoying a fun time out on a free date.", "You didnt post where you live so you infer that you can take her anywhere (maybe you work for an airline - good for you!). \n\nTake her for a stroll under the stars on the Great Wall of China! \n\nThe Staten Island Ferry in New York City is free! \n\nFor the price of a subway ride, while in NYC, you can also take the Roosevelt Island tram. \n\nIn Barcelona just go for a stroll on la rambla.\n\nOk, really, just kidding. It really depends on where you live so not knowing that cant offer informed suggestions. Live and learn.\n" ]

[ 18, 17, 4, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, -2 ]

[ "How to hold breath under water when you fear deep water? I can hold my breath for like a minute and half but when it comes to holding it under water, I can't even hold it for a couple of seconds. Also happens when I'm taking a shower and I hold my face under running water to clean. I kinda fear deep water bodies where you can't see shit. Is this related to my holding breath thing?", "How to hold breath under water when you fear deep water? I can hold my breath for like a minute and half but when it comes to holding it under water, I can't even hold it for a couple of seconds. Also happens when I'm taking a shower and I hold my face under running water to clean. I kinda fear deep water bodies where you can't see shit. Is this related to my holding breath thing?", "How to hold breath under water when you fear deep water? I can hold my breath for like a minute and half but when it comes to holding it under water, I can't even hold it for a couple of seconds. Also happens when I'm taking a shower and I hold my face under running water to clean. I kinda fear deep water bodies where you can't see shit. Is this related to my holding breath thing?" ]

[ "Practice in the tub or kitchen sink. You'll be able to ease into it in shallow sink water in known and comfortable surrounding.", "Do you fear deep water before you get in and submerge your face? If so, then it's probably not the breathing thing. Can you snorkel? How about scuba? Easy ways to get around holding your breath.", "Look up thalassaphobia and if the images scare you or make you anxious, then you probably have it like I do. When going into water, don't be afraid of what's in the dark water or the dark water itself. Focus on what's on top; friends, SO, other people." ]

[ 3, 2, 1 ]

[ "Is there a way to have head support on my bed without using/hurting the wall paint? My bed frame does not have a headrest. Previously I used to put a pillow on the wall behind my bed to support my head.\n\nUnfortunately using that pillow created a yellowish spot on the wall. Later I had a mold problem and that mold also spread to that spot.\n\nThe mold is now clean but I dont want to do anything to create any spots on the wall behind my bed because the landlord blamed me last time for all the mold. If there is any spot he will say the mold is coming back again.\n\nHow do I create a support on my bed so I can use my laptop on my bed?\n\nThis used to be my ideal position https://www.westend61.de/images/0000846703pw/woman-using-laptop-while-sitting-on-bed-at-home-CAVF02857.jpg\n\nI used to put my pillow on the wall behind the bed but doing so led to a yellowish spot on the wall.", "Is there a way to have head support on my bed without using/hurting the wall paint? My bed frame does not have a headrest. Previously I used to put a pillow on the wall behind my bed to support my head.\n\nUnfortunately using that pillow created a yellowish spot on the wall. Later I had a mold problem and that mold also spread to that spot.\n\nThe mold is now clean but I dont want to do anything to create any spots on the wall behind my bed because the landlord blamed me last time for all the mold. If there is any spot he will say the mold is coming back again.\n\nHow do I create a support on my bed so I can use my laptop on my bed?\n\nThis used to be my ideal position https://www.westend61.de/images/0000846703pw/woman-using-laptop-while-sitting-on-bed-at-home-CAVF02857.jpg\n\nI used to put my pillow on the wall behind the bed but doing so led to a yellowish spot on the wall.", "Is there a way to have head support on my bed without using/hurting the wall paint? My bed frame does not have a headrest. Previously I used to put a pillow on the wall behind my bed to support my head.\n\nUnfortunately using that pillow created a yellowish spot on the wall. Later I had a mold problem and that mold also spread to that spot.\n\nThe mold is now clean but I dont want to do anything to create any spots on the wall behind my bed because the landlord blamed me last time for all the mold. If there is any spot he will say the mold is coming back again.\n\nHow do I create a support on my bed so I can use my laptop on my bed?\n\nThis used to be my ideal position https://www.westend61.de/images/0000846703pw/woman-using-laptop-while-sitting-on-bed-at-home-CAVF02857.jpg\n\nI used to put my pillow on the wall behind the bed but doing so led to a yellowish spot on the wall." ]

[ "Get a backrest pillow (google a husband pillow). \n\nTwo possible reasons for the yellow spot: \n\n1) your pillow was grungy and got hair oil on the wall\n\n2) your paint is cheap and rubbed off leaving a yellows spot where the drywall shows through. \n\nGet comfortable, use your bed and wall how it makes sense, and put a thick poster over the spot until you repaint.", "Buy a headboard? It is in fact a separate piece of furniture that stands behind the bed, not attached to it even (mine is not). There are also some that can be put on the bed.", "Yes\n\nGo to home depot\n\nGet some thin board\n\nTHEY CAN CUT IT THERE TO SIZE\n\nSuper cheap\n\nSand edges\n\nPaint desired way\n\nUse dry wall screws to fasten to wall\n\n(Easily filled when moving, minal damage)\n\nBam\n\nCheap headboard\n\nGood luck" ]

[ 8, 5, 1 ]

[ "How To Clean Car Cup holders I'm talking specifically about the kind you can't remove. No matter what they always get gunk in there. Anyone have some good tips on cleaning them out? If you use a wet rag it can be difficult to get the water out. Thanks!", "How To Clean Car Cup holders I'm talking specifically about the kind you can't remove. No matter what they always get gunk in there. Anyone have some good tips on cleaning them out? If you use a wet rag it can be difficult to get the water out. Thanks!", "How To Clean Car Cup holders I'm talking specifically about the kind you can't remove. No matter what they always get gunk in there. Anyone have some good tips on cleaning them out? If you use a wet rag it can be difficult to get the water out. Thanks!", "How To Clean Car Cup holders I'm talking specifically about the kind you can't remove. No matter what they always get gunk in there. Anyone have some good tips on cleaning them out? If you use a wet rag it can be difficult to get the water out. Thanks!" ]

[ "You're supposed to squeeze all of that excess water out of the rag before you use it. Or at least dry it with paper towels afterwards. I think you're just doing it wrong. \n\nHave you tried to just use the same Windex that you clean your windows with? That always works for me. It even evaporates in its own f you don't wipe it all up. ", "Spray with tuff stuff. Let sit for a few minutes. Come back later and get a dirty rag or cloth, and wipe everything up. Repeat if necessary/really gunky. Works WONDERS. ", "I recondition vehicles at a Ford dealership. We have several products we use, but the magic trick for cup holders is a paint brush. We use a nylon scrub brush for seats, dash etc. But a medium sized flat paint brush is usually both stiff and soft enough to scrub in cracks and crevices. Also works well for behind door handles, air vents, speaker mesh, etc. ", "Forgot a soda in a paper cup for a long time, bad dried on crap.\n\nI use Orange Glo or similar citrus cleaner , spray enough to have a little bit pool at the bottom. Wait 5-10 minutes top soak through. Wipe clean with a paper towel." ]

[ 2, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "How can I make one of the 20\" Lasko box fans quieter? I live in a two person dorm and as it's getting hotter, I decided to put my fan back in the window. I forgot just how loud the motor is. It's fine on the first setting, but the 2nd and 3rd are so loud. The fan works perfectly fine otherwise. \n\nIf it helps at all I have some pure glycerin that'll help lubricate it", "How can I make one of the 20\" Lasko box fans quieter? I live in a two person dorm and as it's getting hotter, I decided to put my fan back in the window. I forgot just how loud the motor is. It's fine on the first setting, but the 2nd and 3rd are so loud. The fan works perfectly fine otherwise. \n\nIf it helps at all I have some pure glycerin that'll help lubricate it", "How can I make one of the 20\" Lasko box fans quieter? I live in a two person dorm and as it's getting hotter, I decided to put my fan back in the window. I forgot just how loud the motor is. It's fine on the first setting, but the 2nd and 3rd are so loud. The fan works perfectly fine otherwise. \n\nIf it helps at all I have some pure glycerin that'll help lubricate it" ]

[ "Well a fan on a higher setting is going to, by nature, be louder. The motor is working harder and it's pushing more air.\n\nTower fans tend to be quieter than box fans. ", "Tried removing the plastic grills? Reduces the whoosh noise at least, but not as safe. Although it's fun to throw bottle caps into them.\n\nAnother option, turn the fan out so it blows out, and open the other window so the air is pulled in.", "Buy a 20×20 air filter rated for allergies. They are at every hardware and bigbox store. Place it on the back and let the air suction draw the filter to the surface.\n\nNow you have a air purifier and a quieter fan. This only works with the thick expensive allergen filters, usually around $15/ea. " ]

[ 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Need help to study I didn't pass spanish (it's my first language, if that even helps at all) in school this year so I have to do an exam in september.\n\nThe problem is I have to start studying now or else I won't be able to pass, but I'm having a hard time getting to study because of three main reasons:\n\n-I don't have a fixed schedule which makes it hard for me to start studying because since I'm on vacation at the beach, there's always something else/better to do.\n\n-I need a method in order to be able to be productive, if I don't, I tend to waste my time.\n\n-Due to the fact I am not at my usual workspace, I have a nonproductive environment so I won't be able to focus 100% and I don't know any nearby library to go to.\n\nThese are basically my biggest problems and I hope someone can give me some tips, links to other posts, etc. If you think anything can help me even though I didn't mention it, please go ahead and tell me.", "Need help to study I didn't pass spanish (it's my first language, if that even helps at all) in school this year so I have to do an exam in september.\n\nThe problem is I have to start studying now or else I won't be able to pass, but I'm having a hard time getting to study because of three main reasons:\n\n-I don't have a fixed schedule which makes it hard for me to start studying because since I'm on vacation at the beach, there's always something else/better to do.\n\n-I need a method in order to be able to be productive, if I don't, I tend to waste my time.\n\n-Due to the fact I am not at my usual workspace, I have a nonproductive environment so I won't be able to focus 100% and I don't know any nearby library to go to.\n\nThese are basically my biggest problems and I hope someone can give me some tips, links to other posts, etc. If you think anything can help me even though I didn't mention it, please go ahead and tell me." ]

[ "When I was in school, studying was hard. What I did was find a place that is pretty quiet but also somewhere I can have something to look at it so I don't stare off in space. Places like a park, local library or somewhere in your house. Also, I found listening to music helped too. It kept me calm and also focus. Last thing is try to reward yourself after you study. This will keep you motivated so you know after your done studying, you know a reward will be waiting for you. ", "Ugh. And here I am in shitty colorado, wishing to god we has a beach so that I could use homework as an *excuse* to sit on the beach all day. Haha." ]

[ 1, 1 ]

[ "How to get rid of my fears and comfort zones ? I have been stuck in a job I hate for a while now.\n\nI have started putting a bit of effort, to change jobs but I keep trying to find a comfort zone in my current job to help me deal with the anxiousness.\n\nI fear that the new job might not be as good as I imagine it to be or it may be worse than my current job.\n\nThis kind of pushes me into doing nothing to say the truth. A kind of fear combined with induced laziness.\n\nDonno how to deal with it ... :-( \n\n", "How to get rid of my fears and comfort zones ? I have been stuck in a job I hate for a while now.\n\nI have started putting a bit of effort, to change jobs but I keep trying to find a comfort zone in my current job to help me deal with the anxiousness.\n\nI fear that the new job might not be as good as I imagine it to be or it may be worse than my current job.\n\nThis kind of pushes me into doing nothing to say the truth. A kind of fear combined with induced laziness.\n\nDonno how to deal with it ... :-( \n\n", "How to get rid of my fears and comfort zones ? I have been stuck in a job I hate for a while now.\n\nI have started putting a bit of effort, to change jobs but I keep trying to find a comfort zone in my current job to help me deal with the anxiousness.\n\nI fear that the new job might not be as good as I imagine it to be or it may be worse than my current job.\n\nThis kind of pushes me into doing nothing to say the truth. A kind of fear combined with induced laziness.\n\nDonno how to deal with it ... :-( \n\n", "How to get rid of my fears and comfort zones ? I have been stuck in a job I hate for a while now.\n\nI have started putting a bit of effort, to change jobs but I keep trying to find a comfort zone in my current job to help me deal with the anxiousness.\n\nI fear that the new job might not be as good as I imagine it to be or it may be worse than my current job.\n\nThis kind of pushes me into doing nothing to say the truth. A kind of fear combined with induced laziness.\n\nDonno how to deal with it ... :-( \n\n", "How to get rid of my fears and comfort zones ? I have been stuck in a job I hate for a while now.\n\nI have started putting a bit of effort, to change jobs but I keep trying to find a comfort zone in my current job to help me deal with the anxiousness.\n\nI fear that the new job might not be as good as I imagine it to be or it may be worse than my current job.\n\nThis kind of pushes me into doing nothing to say the truth. A kind of fear combined with induced laziness.\n\nDonno how to deal with it ... :-( \n\n", "How to get rid of my fears and comfort zones ? I have been stuck in a job I hate for a while now.\n\nI have started putting a bit of effort, to change jobs but I keep trying to find a comfort zone in my current job to help me deal with the anxiousness.\n\nI fear that the new job might not be as good as I imagine it to be or it may be worse than my current job.\n\nThis kind of pushes me into doing nothing to say the truth. A kind of fear combined with induced laziness.\n\nDonno how to deal with it ... :-( \n\n" ]

[ "Who's pushing you for the new job? Friends? Family? Jealousy? Boredom? Ambition?\n \nGrass is not always greener on the other side.", "Worst case is the new job sucks and you find another one. When interviewing, ask questions and be observant. Do people look happy? What does google say (glassdoor, etc). What does the job entail? Is this something I want to do everyday? You can usually get a pretty good idea by asking questions which is encouraged in the interview process (shows forethought). \n\nGeneral advice that has worked for me:\n\n1. The worst case isn't nearly as bad as you think, and it usually has the end result of making you stronger.\n2. Expect that you will fail. Nobody is perfect. \n3. Don't take substances, e.g. alcohol, to dull fears/discomfort. Instead, embrace fear as a catalyst to push yourself further towards your goals.\n4. Don't get yourself into compromising commitments, e.g. loans that tie you down, preventing you from moving around freely.\n\nI was in a similar situation as you earlier this year. First job out of college and I had a really hard time admitting that it wasn't going to work out. I would get anxiety just thinking about having to find another one. The thought of interviewing with another company while still employed to the first job was scary as hell. What if it didn't go well? Would I be stuck here forever? Ended up quitting with no job prospects, getting my head right, applying for jobs, and finding one within a week. Don't recommend that approach, but point is, sometimes your current situation can have you so backwards that you have to sever the knot before you can move on. ", "I used to be in my comfort zone all the time. I'd say that in order to be pushed out, you just need to put yourself out there. I know that it is easier said than done, but it's what you need to do. When you do get a new job, I know you will, you just need to not care what other people think and do your job and do it well. People will see that you're a good worker and they'll like you for it. I think the main reason why people are in their comfort zones is because they expect things to go perfectly, you need to let that go if you do believe that. Things in life are going to go south and it's the successful people, the ones who know how to deal with failure, that will come out on top. ", "You're right where you want to be, actually.\n\nYou have a job, boring as it is, that's a safety net as you look for your next one. It means you don't have to hurry and pick the first new job that comes your way. In fact, it means that you can take your time, do your research, and find the one that fits your needs most.\n\nThis is a chance for you to ask yourself where you want to live and what you want to do, and you can go after both those things in a relatively low-risk and low-stress way. Congratulations! It's an envious place a lot of people don't ever have the luck to be in. \n ", "My advice to you would be to give m", "Challenge your limits, go outside your comfort zones. You'll see that it's something you can handle, and that'll extend your comfort zone." ]

[ 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 0 ]

[ "How to deal with a family member you can't stand. So a bit of info before I ask. This guy is rude and annoying. He's stolen from us before as well. He's an all around dickwad, but he's still family. How do I deal with this kind of person aside from kicking him out? ", "How to deal with a family member you can't stand. So a bit of info before I ask. This guy is rude and annoying. He's stolen from us before as well. He's an all around dickwad, but he's still family. How do I deal with this kind of person aside from kicking him out? ", "How to deal with a family member you can't stand. So a bit of info before I ask. This guy is rude and annoying. He's stolen from us before as well. He's an all around dickwad, but he's still family. How do I deal with this kind of person aside from kicking him out? " ]

[ "Remove toxic people from your life. Seriously. And stop playing the \"he's still family\" card. It's not worth it", "I have a few close family members that I can't stand, I have this thing where if they annoy me I just half smile, give a distracted 'mm' and wander off with purpose like I have something to do somewhere else. Then just go in the kitchen and rattle pots or whatever, make a drink, breathe, and wait for them to start talking to someone else. Then you can go back.\n\nThough tbf, with the stealing I'd not let them in my house at all, just sit down, explain that due to past events you don't want them in your space and suggest that if they want to meet you, you just meet in a restaurant or something.", "I'm in the same situation except I have to live with the family member. As far as I'm concerned they aren't \"family\" to me. Be thankful you don't have to always be around him." ]

[ 3, 3, 2 ]

[ "How can I become more likable and friendly? I tend to let little things bother me, for instance if I am at work and I don't join in on a conversation next door even when I am probably welcomed, I get down. I'm afraid of them judging me and therefore I am unable to just be myself. How can I become likable (comfortable in my own skin) and come for as a nice guy?", "How can I become more likable and friendly? I tend to let little things bother me, for instance if I am at work and I don't join in on a conversation next door even when I am probably welcomed, I get down. I'm afraid of them judging me and therefore I am unable to just be myself. How can I become likable (comfortable in my own skin) and come for as a nice guy?", "How can I become more likable and friendly? I tend to let little things bother me, for instance if I am at work and I don't join in on a conversation next door even when I am probably welcomed, I get down. I'm afraid of them judging me and therefore I am unable to just be myself. How can I become likable (comfortable in my own skin) and come for as a nice guy?", "How can I become more likable and friendly? I tend to let little things bother me, for instance if I am at work and I don't join in on a conversation next door even when I am probably welcomed, I get down. I'm afraid of them judging me and therefore I am unable to just be myself. How can I become likable (comfortable in my own skin) and come for as a nice guy?", "How can I become more likable and friendly? I tend to let little things bother me, for instance if I am at work and I don't join in on a conversation next door even when I am probably welcomed, I get down. I'm afraid of them judging me and therefore I am unable to just be myself. How can I become likable (comfortable in my own skin) and come for as a nice guy?", "How can I become more likable and friendly? I tend to let little things bother me, for instance if I am at work and I don't join in on a conversation next door even when I am probably welcomed, I get down. I'm afraid of them judging me and therefore I am unable to just be myself. How can I become likable (comfortable in my own skin) and come for as a nice guy?", "How can I become more likable and friendly? I tend to let little things bother me, for instance if I am at work and I don't join in on a conversation next door even when I am probably welcomed, I get down. I'm afraid of them judging me and therefore I am unable to just be myself. How can I become likable (comfortable in my own skin) and come for as a nice guy?" ]

[ "I don't know you, but I suspect there are a couple things you're overlooking.\n\n1) Odds are you don't have to 'become' more likeable and friendly. The fact that you're feeling like you want to be involved with other people and you feel down when you pass on those opportunities is a phenomenon called 'dissonance'. Dissonance is a fairly well-understood psychological experience occurs when you don't act in accordance with your values. You (probably, stranger :) ) are a nice, friendly person but are fearing rejection, preventing you from acting on what is actually natural for you (joining a conversation). It isn't that you have to become something, it's a question of allowing yourself to behave in a way that is natural for you. \n\n2) Joining a conversation does not come with a set of expectations and rules. You are not instantly exposed to judgement or ridicule simply for leaving your comfort zone (even if it feels that way). There are many great ideas for how to be an effective conversationalist all over the internet, but you won't know if you have skill at this until you go ahead and open up. Remember: you don't actually have to say almost anything to be a part of a conversation. Asking people about their summer plans, asking for car/house/apartment/pet/whatever advice, and (carefully) chatting about office goings-on are easy ways to set a conversation spinning without really requiring all that much maintenance from you.\n\n3) There is no code to crack for being friendly and likeable. People appear that way because we feel a connection to them. Making connections with other people involves, in my limited experience, two main factors - trust and respect. Demonstrating respect involves listening to others, taking them seriously, and showing empathy. Establishing trust really just involves being consistently respectful over time. Take people seriously and don't be afraid to joke around, and you will establish trust and respect.\n\ntl;dr you're probably a good guy already so do what comes naturally, don't put too much pressure on yourself, and get to know people in a way that's comfortable for you.\n\n", "While this might not be the best answer possible (I apologize but I feel it would be to complicated of a topic for me to easily summarize) but I can offer a link to a book that might talk a bit about what you want to learn.\nhttp://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/1508569754", "I work in customer service. My two cents on this would be to wear a smile. I say wear specifically because it should be a part of your wardrobe in the morning. You put on your pants, and a shirt and a tie, and then you put on a goddamn smile. In some stupid phone training I did years ago, they said that you can hear a smile through the phone. It's true. I just try to apply that to my entire life. If you're smiling you generally look happy, if you look happy, you're more approachable. ", "I think that the most important thing you can do - for interacting with people, making friendships, having conversations, or really any kind of human interaction - is to take an interest in the other person. Not to make it look like you're interested, but actually *be* interested. I find that the conversation and all the rest tends to go from there. If someone's telling you about their day, pay attention. Ask questions \"Oh you've got a meeting? Is it anything important? Do you have to present something? Well, good luck!\", remember details \"Hey, how was your meeting? Did the presentation go okay?\" give feedback \"Oh, sorry to hear that. I guess turning up naked probably wasn't a smart plan,\" etc. This isn't an exhaustive list; conversations shouldn't be a checklist or a step-by-step process; I'm just trying to give some examples of ways you can actually engage with what someone is saying. People like to talk about themselves, and if you engage with them, they will respond positively to you. If they're nice people, they will reciprocate the favour and ask you questions back, and talk to you more. And people will like you for showing an interest in them.\n\nDo you find it hard to engage in conversations in the first place?", "When it gets down to Brass Tacks, They're not allowed to kill you; And they're not allowed to eat you.\n\nAs far as their opinion. It plus a Dollar gets them a coffee. Same as you.\n\nGood Luck.\n\n", "show people you have a fun and spontaneous sense of humor by saying zany things at unexpected times. \"Hello! I am the Messiah! And the queen is a biscuit of monkey cheese!\" \"If u had to live forevermore with a detective name, what would it be?\" and so on in that vein. bill Murray and Jen Lawrence have basically made a whole career of that sort of charisma, the key is just to not be afraid and don't let the negative Nanci's drag u down", "Don't try too hard , if you want to join in a conversation then join in , if you don't then chill. Don't worry about people judging you , one think I've learnt ( maybe too late in life ) is that people are pretty self centred and they are just interested in how they are feeling or how they are perceived . Some maybe thinking their gods gift , some maybe thinking their not worth shit but 9 times out of 10 it will be about themselves so try not to worry . " ]

[ 9, 3, 2, 2, 1, 0, 0 ]

[ "How to speak slower without stuttering Whenever I hear my voice when being recorded it always sounds to fast without enough annunciation. I often stutter because I speak too fast. I do this almost all the time and it doesn't matter if I'm nervous or not. \n\nHow do I fix this?\n\n\n\n\n", "How to speak slower without stuttering Whenever I hear my voice when being recorded it always sounds to fast without enough annunciation. I often stutter because I speak too fast. I do this almost all the time and it doesn't matter if I'm nervous or not. \n\nHow do I fix this?\n\n\n\n\n" ]

[ "Try to read aloud when you can/are alone, i'm in the same situation and some regular, slow, steady reading (books, articles) is fixing - i'm still working on it - the problem.\n\nThe \"think first\" tip is useful, but care, when i think too much i begin to focus a lot on the words i have to say, and i get the opposite effect. \n\nPS: Sorry for my english D:", "Think first before you speak and use short sentences, what also helps is avoiding sophisticated words" ]

[ 3, 2 ]

[ "Is there a quick and/or efficient way to remove small hairs after a haircut? I usually wash my hair but then it’s usually tedious and time-consuming. But then there’s usually always some left.", "Is there a quick and/or efficient way to remove small hairs after a haircut? I usually wash my hair but then it’s usually tedious and time-consuming. But then there’s usually always some left.", "Is there a quick and/or efficient way to remove small hairs after a haircut? I usually wash my hair but then it’s usually tedious and time-consuming. But then there’s usually always some left.", "Is there a quick and/or efficient way to remove small hairs after a haircut? I usually wash my hair but then it’s usually tedious and time-consuming. But then there’s usually always some left.", "Is there a quick and/or efficient way to remove small hairs after a haircut? I usually wash my hair but then it’s usually tedious and time-consuming. But then there’s usually always some left.", "Is there a quick and/or efficient way to remove small hairs after a haircut? I usually wash my hair but then it’s usually tedious and time-consuming. But then there’s usually always some left." ]

[ "A hairdresser once used talc. Back of the neck, and down my top. Made it entirely tolerable until I could shower.", "Right after your haircut go outside and bend over and shake your head and put your fingers in your hair to try to get as much hair off that you can.\n\nIt will really help you get more loose hair clippings.\n\nThen wash your hair when you can.", "Apply oil to your hair and then wash them.\nI know while applying oil a lot of hair sticks to your hands but that's key point of applying oil.", "go outside, bend over, put both hands on your head with your fingers open, and rub your hands slightly detached from your head vigorously.", "I normally take my shirt off and use a sticky lint roller on my neck to get the tiny hairs. Otherwise damp paper towel works ok too", "I knew a barber who would break up a damp cotton ball and put it on the teeth of a comb and use that to comb the short hairs out. They would stick to the damp cotton fluff" ]

[ 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to have a better daily routine I struggle with eating breakfast, fixing my hair, etc in the morning. I have a great job, just feel unmotivated/unorganized. ", "How to have a better daily routine I struggle with eating breakfast, fixing my hair, etc in the morning. I have a great job, just feel unmotivated/unorganized. " ]

[ "I've found setting an alarm for bedtime has been helpful for me. Staying up too late is the number 1 killer to my morning routine. I set my alarm 30min before I want to go to bed which gives me enough time to finish what I'm doing and get ready for bed. \nA programmable coffee maker set 15min before you want to get up can help too, assuming you're a coffee drinker. ", "2 Alarm Times, Lay everything out, and get out of bed think for a minute on what's Relevant to.. Getting prepared for the day. \n\nP.S. You should arrange 10-15 minutes to masturbate and drain your frustration\n " ]

[ 1, 1 ]

[ "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know ", "how to not get nervous and calm yourself down before going to a new place without any people tgat you know " ]

[ "Practice mindfulness. Understand that the feeling of being nervous is due to the situation, and not necessarily yourself. Be self-aware, that you were more than likely in a similar situation before and think of a time that the situation resulted in positive outcomes. ", "First you want to get comfortable. This is before you go to the place, so dont worry about dressing appropriately for the event (I usually chose the clothes I sleep in).\n\nNext, visualize the event. Think about what you are going there for, be it a birthday, or wedding, maybe a concert or something. Try to think of something you can do that wont draw attention to yourself, or that will keep you occupied so people wont interact with you too much.\n\nRealize that no matter how hard you try, you will almost certainly have to talk to people. Try to imagine introducing yourself to someone. Tell them your name, who you know/why you're there. \n\nNow what you want to do is get even more comfortable. I suggest laying down in bed. This should help calm the anxiety. Its nice in bed. Safe. Why get out of bed at all? Just fall asleep, its no big deal if you miss the event.\n\nProblem avoided.", "I was taught that getting amped up was easier than trying to calm down. I think it works because they're both high energy, one is just positive. It's all about the story you tell yourself. You can do it! ", "Power poses did the trick for me. It was all about getting into the right mindset, by kind of 'fooling' yourself you already are in that mindset. \nIt depends what works for you, so try different things out. \nM", "I don't want to be that guy, but medicinal marijuana stops my shaking. Don't get stoned, just relaxed.", "Here is a trick I use when presenting to large groups of strangers (which I do often and believe I have become very good at). I also think it could help with your LPT as it can be used for dinner events, parties, etc.\n\nArrive early (very important) and strike up a conversation with others who have arrived early...there are always a couple and \"early\" is relative. Talk about sports, kids, their job, just anything conversational. What route did they take to the event, what do they think of the beautiful venue, have you seen any of the directors other films....simple stuff. I usually do this with two or three people. Then when I give my presentation, I direct it at those two or three people...meaning I make eye contact with them and bounce between the two or three. Because they feel a connection to me from our previous conversation, they often nod in agreement at everything I say. There could be 100 people in the room, but I mostly talk to those three and their positive reinforcement builds my confidence.\n\nWhile that is for a presentation, it's not all that different in other situations. In a setting like a party, you could find those three people anywhere in the party and continue the conversation you started with them. Think of them like a life raft when you get overwhelmed. \n\nIMPORTANT: Be aware of others in that situation. When a stranger comes up to me and makes small talk I realize he or she may be the nervous ones and I do my best to not only engage in conversation, but introduce them to others in the group and make them a part of the conversation. You may even make a friend but you will surely get through the night successfully. \n", "One thing I've done when meeting new people to help me remember their names is once I get their name, I use their name minimum 3 times in the next few sentences i talk to them. \n\"Nice to meet you, max.\"\n\"What do you do for a living, max?\" Etc \n\nThis takes away from the anxiety of not remembering who you're talking to and also people will think you're more friendly and approachable because they likely didn't remember your name either. I've made tons of friends out of strangers using this method ", "I will frequently use the *Headspace* app on my phone. It's guided m", "I get anxious when I'm alone. But I have moved to new cities twice now and have to do this to be social. When I am going somewhere I don't know anyone I just don't overthink it. I kind of go on autopilot until I get there and try and find a couple people to click with. It has worked out. If I really think about calming down and being confident, I'll chicken out and I won't go!", "If it's really a place where you know nobody, not just barely anybody. This strategy might work for you.\n\nIt worked for me back when I had social anxiety(worse than I do now anyway)\n\nGo there as someone else.\n\nInstead of as /u/superlazer5. Go to Goodwill get some big glasses where no one can see your eyes. Get a wacky hat. Practice a bit of a different voice. And head out.\n\nI found that a mask of sorts protected by ego. I could interact with people because the person they may have been judging wasn't \"me\". I felt more fluid, more able to small talk. Sometimes even engaging strangers rather than just waiting to be engaged.\n\nAfter a bit, I was able to apply the skills I grew comfortable with as me.", "I do a lot of breath work for anxiety. This is my favorite to do as it yields a very fast response physically. It's the 4-7-8 breath. Inhale 4 seconds, hold 7 seconds, exhale 8 seconds. Keep the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth, right behind your two front teeth. Do 4 cycles of this breath, sit for 30 seconds and if needed repeat. I do this in the car a lot - before meeting with friends, before a date, when I'm stressed in traffic, etc. It will slow your heart rate and calm you down significantly with practice. It's super stealthy too so you can do it around others and not look like a weirdo. ", "This might sound counter-intuitive, but it's what finally helped me get over my nervousness. I realized that most people just don't give a **** about what you do unless your really close to them. \nLet me put it like this, the thing that always scared me about situations was the fact i felt like I was going to get judged and that I had to make everyone like me or else i would be the hated outcast. Realistically, most people don't people don't have the time and energy to really think or judge a random person they just met. \nYou remember that one time that dude you barely know stumbled on a few words and walked away a few minutes later? Of course you don't, because realistically you never dwell on it. \n\nI heard a quote which i'm going to mangle here, but I think it sums it up nicely.\n\n\"You know those embarassing memories of you that you have right before you fall asleep? No else does, because they're too busy dealing with their own embarassing memories.\"", "Get motivated for actually wanting to know each other. In this kind of situations, I let myself thinking that I want to show my most accurate side(as for professional meetings, I want to expand my professional side) for a situation while letting other people to talk and express themselves.\n\nIf it comes to live shows, etc. just chill out. Try to have so much fun and act as relaxed as you would with your friends. Act like you came with them, and you will make them.\n\nI had a great lacking of social skills a couple of years ago. When I went to the university, I immediately thought of getting to know people rather than making friends. I ended up with lots of people to talk to and go out with, although I still don't feel that social oftentimes.", "As probably everyone here has stated, self confidence is key. Know who you are, what you are good at, and what you do. Then, find others, introduce yourself (\"hey, I'm Superlazer5, I like to go on reddit and look at cat gifs\"). Be open and calm, have a neat and courteous appearance. Then ask an opening question (\"what brings you here\" \"what do you study\" \"isn't this *topic relevant to area* peculiar). After that, start an opening topic (\"what is your opinion on *blank*).\nMy rule is fake it until you make it. If you appear to be the most confident in the room (making alot of noise, laughing alot, talking, moving around), then people will naturally be drawn to you and see you as the 'alpha' male/female. It's all in appearance. Prior to the event, take a nap and cut the caffeen. If you think that you are a bit nervous, don't have any caffeen. Your adrenal system will kick in and provide you with the energy you may lack on a normal basis. Oh, and breathe. Practice inhaling for 3 seconds and exhaling for 5, then switch (5 than 3). Keeping patterns such as this will remove any nervous ticks and get your body into the \"ready\" mode.", "**TL;DR: Research the place first for things you want to do, and make a list.**\n\nAn important consideration OP didn't provide is how long you're going to be there. It's one thing to pass a couple days there, another to move there for months or longer.\n\nIn either case, the best answer is to know what you're getting into by researching the place, and then picking a few things and places you want to see, and hobby clubs or events that you want to check out (such as farmer's markets or festivals or museums or concerts or sports games). \n\nIt's a great conversation starter if you're, say, starting a new job there and you have a list of things you want to do based on some prior research. It makes it easier for someone that's also interested to maybe join you, and KAPOW, there's a possible new friend right there.\n\nWhen you have a researched workings of a plan that increases your familiarity and reduces your uncertainty because you're not walking into a black hole, a lot of the stuff that causes nervousness simply bleeds away, and you can actually *look forward* to going there in some ways. " ]

[ 33, 12, 11, 7, 7, 7, 5, 3, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "I am starting a new job in the next week and am overjoyed. But I get anxious and nervous, when newly employed. Any tips? (Supervisory position in Food and Beverage) ", "I am starting a new job in the next week and am overjoyed. But I get anxious and nervous, when newly employed. Any tips? (Supervisory position in Food and Beverage) ", "I am starting a new job in the next week and am overjoyed. But I get anxious and nervous, when newly employed. Any tips? (Supervisory position in Food and Beverage) ", "I am starting a new job in the next week and am overjoyed. But I get anxious and nervous, when newly employed. Any tips? (Supervisory position in Food and Beverage) ", "I am starting a new job in the next week and am overjoyed. But I get anxious and nervous, when newly employed. Any tips? (Supervisory position in Food and Beverage) " ]

[ "That's why most people in f+b are drunks. But seriously just keep busy and focus on the tasks themselves and the anxiety will fade.", "Remember the times when you feel confident. I assume you don't feel anxious and nervous when you're sitting on the toilet. So what I'd recommend is to recall the feeling of release when you use the toilet.", "Listen, to your boss, your employees and your customers. Listen to what they have to teach you, think before you speak. You’ll be too busy learning and working to be anxious.", "Eat healthy, sleep well and try m", "Ask. Questions. Lots of them. Then ask more questions. Trainers don't know what you don't know. The more you ask the better your training will be." ]

[ 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to manuever through large airports and layover??? Goingto Italy soon! The airports involved are pretty big ones and there's a layover. How does one get through this like a pro?", "How to manuever through large airports and layover??? Goingto Italy soon! The airports involved are pretty big ones and there's a layover. How does one get through this like a pro?", "How to manuever through large airports and layover??? Goingto Italy soon! The airports involved are pretty big ones and there's a layover. How does one get through this like a pro?" ]

[ "You can download airport maps from most airport websites and definitely use the airport lounges. Check if the airline you're flying has a member lounge or get a membership to Priority Pass for access to lounges. If you've got an Amex Platinum or Centurion, don't miss out on the Centurion Lounges.", "How long is the layover? \n\nCheck your luggage through to the end and just keep a carry-on with you. Make it something you can easily carry on your own. Especially if you’re traveling solo, it’s a pain to roll a carry-on when you’re trying to also carry coffee and a snack/meal. If you can use a backpack, that leaves your hands free. \n\nBring an empty refillable water bottle and fill it after customs. Don’t waste money on bottled water during your trip. Pack your carry-on thoughtfully. Have your essentials, including all the meds you need for your trip, plus at least a few days extra just in case. \n\nGo to each airport’s website. Become familiar with the layout. See if there’s a “people mover” (conveyor belt for people) and shuttles if you need to go really far. \n\nFind restaurants inside your terminal (if your layover is in the middle of the night, check to see what’s open. Find the restrooms, too. Use the restroom before boarding. It can be very refreshing to wash your face and brush your teeth at each layover, especially if your flying alllllll day/night. \n\nYour boarding time is earlier than your flight time - don’t miss your flight! Your boarding pass will tell you what time boarding starts. \n\nA tablet with some pre-downloaded books, audiobooks, movies can help pass the time.", "when the plane is about to land, audibly loosen your seatbelt before you land and half stand up to reach for your bag. right as your touch down, standup and reach for your compartment before anyone else and right when the seatbelt sound goes off, run into the center aisle pushing anyone else before you back into their seats and out the door" ]

[ 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "Writing with a broken wrist and full arm cast + thumb spica Hey r/LPT,\n\nI'm right-handed, and my entire right arm and thumb are immobilized in a cast. I cannot hold a pencil to write. What are some techniques or tools I can use to write with my right hand? Would it be possible for me to make a grip or mold that fits into the hand of my cast so I can write by moving my entire hand?\n\nThanks for any help!", "Writing with a broken wrist and full arm cast + thumb spica Hey r/LPT,\n\nI'm right-handed, and my entire right arm and thumb are immobilized in a cast. I cannot hold a pencil to write. What are some techniques or tools I can use to write with my right hand? Would it be possible for me to make a grip or mold that fits into the hand of my cast so I can write by moving my entire hand?\n\nThanks for any help!", "Writing with a broken wrist and full arm cast + thumb spica Hey r/LPT,\n\nI'm right-handed, and my entire right arm and thumb are immobilized in a cast. I cannot hold a pencil to write. What are some techniques or tools I can use to write with my right hand? Would it be possible for me to make a grip or mold that fits into the hand of my cast so I can write by moving my entire hand?\n\nThanks for any help!", "Writing with a broken wrist and full arm cast + thumb spica Hey r/LPT,\n\nI'm right-handed, and my entire right arm and thumb are immobilized in a cast. I cannot hold a pencil to write. What are some techniques or tools I can use to write with my right hand? Would it be possible for me to make a grip or mold that fits into the hand of my cast so I can write by moving my entire hand?\n\nThanks for any help!" ]

[ "had the same sitch when i was in high school. i learned to write with my left hand and tape recorded all my classes so i didn't have to stress to keep up with notes.", "Talk to your doctor. I was in the same cast as you are for about three months after surgery on my scaffoid. I could not write at all while my thumb was casted. I was then put in a cast with my thumb free for another two months. I was then able to write, though I had to take many breaks. Talk to your doctor and see about getting into a cast with your thumb free as soon as possible. Of course the priority here is that your fracture heals properly, but if that can be done with your thumb free, tell the doc to give your thumb back. ", "I'm a righty, and my right forearm was in a cast for about 6 months a few years ago. I decided it was an opportunity to learn to write with my left hand. After 6 mo. of practicing or so, I'd say my penmanship is on par with a first grader. But it's legible, which is what counted for me.", "Do you have the use of your fingers at all? If so, google \"pens for people with arthritis\" and see what might work.\n\n" ]

[ 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How do I move on from a past relationship that destroyed my ego. I used to be so confident. I've only had one relationship with I was 18 and it lasted for 3 years. She was 33. A cougar to say the least. She ended up breaking up with me and quickly moving on. Granted I gave her plenty of reasons to break up with me. Like my immature cringe worthy temper tantrums. And being a little bit controlling. But after our split we tried to be good friends. It didn't work and she ended up saying more hurtful things to me in that process. Things that destroyed my ego. And we have talked about those things recently, and she did admit she said them only because she knew it'd give me a complex. \n\nIt's been a year since our split. And although I can say I'm over her. And that she has apologized for saying those things to me. It still leaves a scar. Something that haunts me and makes me insecure when trying to find someone to date. I'm to the point where I don't see myself escaping this fate of eternal depression and will briefly contemplate suicide as an alternative. And it scares me that thought even comes up. I know I'm being ridiculous and feeling sorry for myself. But I can't see how to get over this. It seems that I use the dating thing as a crutch of what really is going on inside. Because when I don't have a girl to talk to, that's when I get like this. And it shouldn't be that way. I should be generally happy. No matter what. \n\nI'm asking you guys for help. I don't know what to do. My ego is shot. I'm throwing a pity party. And I don't like it. It's not me. How do I get me back? Also I've been trying to get a hold of some shrooms or acid because I know they would help.\n\n", "How do I move on from a past relationship that destroyed my ego. I used to be so confident. I've only had one relationship with I was 18 and it lasted for 3 years. She was 33. A cougar to say the least. She ended up breaking up with me and quickly moving on. Granted I gave her plenty of reasons to break up with me. Like my immature cringe worthy temper tantrums. And being a little bit controlling. But after our split we tried to be good friends. It didn't work and she ended up saying more hurtful things to me in that process. Things that destroyed my ego. And we have talked about those things recently, and she did admit she said them only because she knew it'd give me a complex. \n\nIt's been a year since our split. And although I can say I'm over her. And that she has apologized for saying those things to me. It still leaves a scar. Something that haunts me and makes me insecure when trying to find someone to date. I'm to the point where I don't see myself escaping this fate of eternal depression and will briefly contemplate suicide as an alternative. And it scares me that thought even comes up. I know I'm being ridiculous and feeling sorry for myself. But I can't see how to get over this. It seems that I use the dating thing as a crutch of what really is going on inside. Because when I don't have a girl to talk to, that's when I get like this. And it shouldn't be that way. I should be generally happy. No matter what. \n\nI'm asking you guys for help. I don't know what to do. My ego is shot. I'm throwing a pity party. And I don't like it. It's not me. How do I get me back? Also I've been trying to get a hold of some shrooms or acid because I know they would help.\n\n", "How do I move on from a past relationship that destroyed my ego. I used to be so confident. I've only had one relationship with I was 18 and it lasted for 3 years. She was 33. A cougar to say the least. She ended up breaking up with me and quickly moving on. Granted I gave her plenty of reasons to break up with me. Like my immature cringe worthy temper tantrums. And being a little bit controlling. But after our split we tried to be good friends. It didn't work and she ended up saying more hurtful things to me in that process. Things that destroyed my ego. And we have talked about those things recently, and she did admit she said them only because she knew it'd give me a complex. \n\nIt's been a year since our split. And although I can say I'm over her. And that she has apologized for saying those things to me. It still leaves a scar. Something that haunts me and makes me insecure when trying to find someone to date. I'm to the point where I don't see myself escaping this fate of eternal depression and will briefly contemplate suicide as an alternative. And it scares me that thought even comes up. I know I'm being ridiculous and feeling sorry for myself. But I can't see how to get over this. It seems that I use the dating thing as a crutch of what really is going on inside. Because when I don't have a girl to talk to, that's when I get like this. And it shouldn't be that way. I should be generally happy. No matter what. \n\nI'm asking you guys for help. I don't know what to do. My ego is shot. I'm throwing a pity party. And I don't like it. It's not me. How do I get me back? Also I've been trying to get a hold of some shrooms or acid because I know they would help.\n\n", "How do I move on from a past relationship that destroyed my ego. I used to be so confident. I've only had one relationship with I was 18 and it lasted for 3 years. She was 33. A cougar to say the least. She ended up breaking up with me and quickly moving on. Granted I gave her plenty of reasons to break up with me. Like my immature cringe worthy temper tantrums. And being a little bit controlling. But after our split we tried to be good friends. It didn't work and she ended up saying more hurtful things to me in that process. Things that destroyed my ego. And we have talked about those things recently, and she did admit she said them only because she knew it'd give me a complex. \n\nIt's been a year since our split. And although I can say I'm over her. And that she has apologized for saying those things to me. It still leaves a scar. Something that haunts me and makes me insecure when trying to find someone to date. I'm to the point where I don't see myself escaping this fate of eternal depression and will briefly contemplate suicide as an alternative. And it scares me that thought even comes up. I know I'm being ridiculous and feeling sorry for myself. But I can't see how to get over this. It seems that I use the dating thing as a crutch of what really is going on inside. Because when I don't have a girl to talk to, that's when I get like this. And it shouldn't be that way. I should be generally happy. No matter what. \n\nI'm asking you guys for help. I don't know what to do. My ego is shot. I'm throwing a pity party. And I don't like it. It's not me. How do I get me back? Also I've been trying to get a hold of some shrooms or acid because I know they would help.\n\n", "How do I move on from a past relationship that destroyed my ego. I used to be so confident. I've only had one relationship with I was 18 and it lasted for 3 years. She was 33. A cougar to say the least. She ended up breaking up with me and quickly moving on. Granted I gave her plenty of reasons to break up with me. Like my immature cringe worthy temper tantrums. And being a little bit controlling. But after our split we tried to be good friends. It didn't work and she ended up saying more hurtful things to me in that process. Things that destroyed my ego. And we have talked about those things recently, and she did admit she said them only because she knew it'd give me a complex. \n\nIt's been a year since our split. And although I can say I'm over her. And that she has apologized for saying those things to me. It still leaves a scar. Something that haunts me and makes me insecure when trying to find someone to date. I'm to the point where I don't see myself escaping this fate of eternal depression and will briefly contemplate suicide as an alternative. And it scares me that thought even comes up. I know I'm being ridiculous and feeling sorry for myself. But I can't see how to get over this. It seems that I use the dating thing as a crutch of what really is going on inside. Because when I don't have a girl to talk to, that's when I get like this. And it shouldn't be that way. I should be generally happy. No matter what. \n\nI'm asking you guys for help. I don't know what to do. My ego is shot. I'm throwing a pity party. And I don't like it. It's not me. How do I get me back? Also I've been trying to get a hold of some shrooms or acid because I know they would help.\n\n", "How do I move on from a past relationship that destroyed my ego. I used to be so confident. I've only had one relationship with I was 18 and it lasted for 3 years. She was 33. A cougar to say the least. She ended up breaking up with me and quickly moving on. Granted I gave her plenty of reasons to break up with me. Like my immature cringe worthy temper tantrums. And being a little bit controlling. But after our split we tried to be good friends. It didn't work and she ended up saying more hurtful things to me in that process. Things that destroyed my ego. And we have talked about those things recently, and she did admit she said them only because she knew it'd give me a complex. \n\nIt's been a year since our split. And although I can say I'm over her. And that she has apologized for saying those things to me. It still leaves a scar. Something that haunts me and makes me insecure when trying to find someone to date. I'm to the point where I don't see myself escaping this fate of eternal depression and will briefly contemplate suicide as an alternative. And it scares me that thought even comes up. I know I'm being ridiculous and feeling sorry for myself. But I can't see how to get over this. It seems that I use the dating thing as a crutch of what really is going on inside. Because when I don't have a girl to talk to, that's when I get like this. And it shouldn't be that way. I should be generally happy. No matter what. \n\nI'm asking you guys for help. I don't know what to do. My ego is shot. I'm throwing a pity party. And I don't like it. It's not me. How do I get me back? Also I've been trying to get a hold of some shrooms or acid because I know they would help.\n\n" ]

[ "Time, time cures everything. I don't mean just wait it out, start working on yourself— whatever part of your self that you think needs work. Stop looking for a switch to reboot your happiness. I know it's tempting and it sounds amazing to think shrooms and acid will take you on a trip that will change you back. It won't happen, I've tried it. You'll feel great immediately after and it will wear off within a week. \nBig changes are results of little changes, little changes over a long period of time. \nKeep your chin up, OP — you're still alive and whole. ", "She dated you at such a young and impressionable age. I can see why you are having such a hard time. Have you thought about maybe seeing a licensed therapist to help you get over this hurdle? It may only take 2 or 3 sessions to get you back on track . Find things to keep your mind busy - hobbies, going out with friends , etc. Time will help. Also - \nwhy do you think a 33 year old woman would date an 18 year old? Have you considered this? Why wouldn't she date someone closer to her age? Because as an 18 year old you are easier to control. Also, you are a HUGE stroke to her ego. Funny, by inflating her own self worth (\"I'm so attractive young men WANT me!!!\") she completely drained yours. She sounds like a very selfish woman. Think about it - if you had been 1 year younger she could have been arrested for this relationship. ", "That depends on who you are. Do you know? What are your hobbies? Why is being in a relationship so important?\n\nSounds like you need to remind yourself of who you are and find that before you can think about sharing that with anyone else, or else you might once again define yourself in terms of someone else.\n\nWhat are you interested in? Are there social opportunities based on those interests? Things like cooking (BBQ'ing?), reading, gaming, gardening, writing, musical instruments? Hike the Appalachian Trail... travel... take some classes... ", "First off, drugs aren't the way to go to \"help\" a feeling. Drugs should be used to compliment an already good sense of well-being.\n\nFind some stuff to focus your attention on. Learn how to do shit that makes you feel good about yourself. I experienced a breakup in my late teens and ended up picking up guitar to keep my mind occupied. I ended up getting really good, playing in bands, and getting more attention from girls, which effectively made me get over my previous relationship. Not just the attention, but the fact that I learned how to do something constructive that most people can't do. \n\nI'm not doctor phil or whatever, but really OP, an SO should not be the main thing in your life establishing your confidence. \n\n", "Congratulations! You got some unusual life experience. A lot of youngsters will envy you. \n\nYou even know what you want to do next. I sense something holding you back. I don't believe your picture of the damages done to you. I think your analysis is off.\n\nI bet you're still in her space. \n\nAs energetic as you say your relationship was with her, it's typical for a lot of energy to be exchanged between the two of you. We all carry around the so-called baggage of ended relationships, and we think about how to let go of that baggage; the feelings, the habits, the impulses. That baggage is energy in your body. \n\nBut we don't usually think about what our energy is doing in our former partner's space. I'm not talking about guilt or bad deeds. You most certainly left some of your spiritual laundry in her baby making machine, and that part of your awareness will stay in the spin cycle forever. You need to call it back to you. She'll never finish it, fold it, and put it away, because it's not her energy. You'll just spin, feel immobilized, and rationalize it to yourself.\n\nIn time, she may let it go. Same as you letting go of her energy. But why wait?\n\nPull your attention and energy back from her and re-engage it with yourself. You'll feel stronger, more capable, and whole. It's your energy and you know the way home. \n\nDon't forget to laugh at yourself when you find yourself thinking of her in times to come, after you've clearly moved on. Three years is a lot of time for your energies to get intertwined. Just call back your energy again. For some of us, moving on is life, if you're living fully.", ">she did admit she said them only because she knew it'd give me a complex. \n\nThat was manipulative, cruel, and totally counter productive. Shame on her.\n\nAvoid the drugs. Either they make you even more introspective about these negative feelings (which won't help) or you begin to rely on them to escape (which also won't help).\n\n Sounds like you are in need of some positive reinforcement from good people, which will begin to undo this self-perception you picked up from the woman.\n\nKudos for recognizing your mistakes - lots of people don't have the courage to do that." ]

[ 6, 4, 2, 2, 2, 2 ]

[ "How do I refrain from feeling guilty for cutting toxic people out of my life? It took me years, but I'm finally able to do the whole \"cutting off\" part. Now I just have to find a way to not feel bad about it. Thank you in advance!", "How do I refrain from feeling guilty for cutting toxic people out of my life? It took me years, but I'm finally able to do the whole \"cutting off\" part. Now I just have to find a way to not feel bad about it. Thank you in advance!", "How do I refrain from feeling guilty for cutting toxic people out of my life? It took me years, but I'm finally able to do the whole \"cutting off\" part. Now I just have to find a way to not feel bad about it. Thank you in advance!", "How do I refrain from feeling guilty for cutting toxic people out of my life? It took me years, but I'm finally able to do the whole \"cutting off\" part. Now I just have to find a way to not feel bad about it. Thank you in advance!", "How do I refrain from feeling guilty for cutting toxic people out of my life? It took me years, but I'm finally able to do the whole \"cutting off\" part. Now I just have to find a way to not feel bad about it. Thank you in advance!", "How do I refrain from feeling guilty for cutting toxic people out of my life? It took me years, but I'm finally able to do the whole \"cutting off\" part. Now I just have to find a way to not feel bad about it. Thank you in advance!" ]

[ "You don't. You just have to accept that cutting that person off was the best thing for you and move on. The people that I've cut from my life, I regret having to get to that point, but I don't regret actually doing it. ", "Give it time. I still think about the toxic ones sometimes, and how it could have been. Then I remember I did all I could. \n\nYou're better off without them. Accept it, realize it. They do not deserve you.", "Normally, feelings are very difficult to change. However, there is a cycle that you may be able to hack. It normally goes like this:\n\nAn **Event or Actions** that happens, you have **Thoughts** about that event, which produces **Feelings** and causes you to take an **Action**.\n\nNow, you can work on the actions, but if you can puzzle out what the thought(s) is/are, that's where you can make the change.\n\nIt may look something like this: You cut a toxic person out of your life and you feel guilty. If you spend some time thinking about, you may be able to determine what thoughts about that action, are causing you to feel guilty, perhaps \"People are going to think I'm heartless\" or \"That person is going to be angry with me.\"\n\nOnce you have figured out what the thoughts are that are causing you to feel guilty about your action, you can begin to change them. Don't sugar coat it, because that won't go down well. Be realistic. \"You know, some people may not understand, but it is my life and I have to protect myself.\" and/or \"Yes, that person may be mad, but it is there actions that have provoked me this far.\"\n\nIf you can keep countering the thoughts, the feelings will change. ", "Once you realize you're better without them it will be easier to see you did the right thing. Like working up the courage to finally break free it will also take time to come to terms with the actions you felt necessary. Don't ever feel guilty for letting go of unneeded stress and anxiety", "The biggest thing about dealing with toxic people is to stick to your guns. You have to remember WHY they made you feel this way, and to be true to your word. We as adults always want to go on the path of least resistance, and want to be non-confrontational as much as possible. An example is when a couple breaks up, but wants to stay friends. Sometimes that does more harm than good and causes more strain than standing your ground. I get that we all want to be \"the nice guy\" but some people don't see that. They see you as an opportunity to get what they want without dealing with consequences of it. It's only when you end the relationship that they hopefully get the hint and either try to work on it or just move onto another person. \n\nNoone wants to deal with the akwardness of ending things with someone, but you truly will have a breath of fresh air once they no longer have a grasp on you. It might also help others do the same. Example: Friend and I knew a mutual person that was simply obnoxious and wouldn't get the hint after trying time and time again. My friend was too nervous/shy to talk to him, and was afraid of hurting obnoxious friends feelings. I finally put my foot down and flat out told the person why I didn't want to spend time with them, why I felt we are on two different paths, and that I no longer want to continue the friendship. He actually took it well and understood. My friend also did the same once I did and now no longer deal with said obnoxious person, making our lives better. \n\nIn the end, go with your gut instinct and not be afraid to get yourself out of a situation you don't feel is right. ", "It gets easier okce you realize the pile of shit is gone, that these people tend to dump on you in your life.\nThere is no reason to feel bad, for dumping people who are not good for you" ]

[ 11, 7, 5, 3, 2, 2 ]

[ "How to set boundaries when your boss is a workaholic I am a 28 year old nurse practitioner for a very driven cardiologist. I am also married and a mother to a busy 4 year old. My collaborating physician works 16 hour days almost every day, and tells me that she values the fact that I work with her for these long hours because \"I understand her need.\" I love my job, and initially, I tried to be available for her long days to show my dedication to the job, but now I am becoming very drained and my family life is suffering. I am also salaried, and my contract stipulates that I am paid on the assumption that I work a 40 hour work week. How do I make boundaries with her without burning bridges?", "How to set boundaries when your boss is a workaholic I am a 28 year old nurse practitioner for a very driven cardiologist. I am also married and a mother to a busy 4 year old. My collaborating physician works 16 hour days almost every day, and tells me that she values the fact that I work with her for these long hours because \"I understand her need.\" I love my job, and initially, I tried to be available for her long days to show my dedication to the job, but now I am becoming very drained and my family life is suffering. I am also salaried, and my contract stipulates that I am paid on the assumption that I work a 40 hour work week. How do I make boundaries with her without burning bridges?", "How to set boundaries when your boss is a workaholic I am a 28 year old nurse practitioner for a very driven cardiologist. I am also married and a mother to a busy 4 year old. My collaborating physician works 16 hour days almost every day, and tells me that she values the fact that I work with her for these long hours because \"I understand her need.\" I love my job, and initially, I tried to be available for her long days to show my dedication to the job, but now I am becoming very drained and my family life is suffering. I am also salaried, and my contract stipulates that I am paid on the assumption that I work a 40 hour work week. How do I make boundaries with her without burning bridges?", "How to set boundaries when your boss is a workaholic I am a 28 year old nurse practitioner for a very driven cardiologist. I am also married and a mother to a busy 4 year old. My collaborating physician works 16 hour days almost every day, and tells me that she values the fact that I work with her for these long hours because \"I understand her need.\" I love my job, and initially, I tried to be available for her long days to show my dedication to the job, but now I am becoming very drained and my family life is suffering. I am also salaried, and my contract stipulates that I am paid on the assumption that I work a 40 hour work week. How do I make boundaries with her without burning bridges?", "How to set boundaries when your boss is a workaholic I am a 28 year old nurse practitioner for a very driven cardiologist. I am also married and a mother to a busy 4 year old. My collaborating physician works 16 hour days almost every day, and tells me that she values the fact that I work with her for these long hours because \"I understand her need.\" I love my job, and initially, I tried to be available for her long days to show my dedication to the job, but now I am becoming very drained and my family life is suffering. I am also salaried, and my contract stipulates that I am paid on the assumption that I work a 40 hour work week. How do I make boundaries with her without burning bridges?", "How to set boundaries when your boss is a workaholic I am a 28 year old nurse practitioner for a very driven cardiologist. I am also married and a mother to a busy 4 year old. My collaborating physician works 16 hour days almost every day, and tells me that she values the fact that I work with her for these long hours because \"I understand her need.\" I love my job, and initially, I tried to be available for her long days to show my dedication to the job, but now I am becoming very drained and my family life is suffering. I am also salaried, and my contract stipulates that I am paid on the assumption that I work a 40 hour work week. How do I make boundaries with her without burning bridges?", "How to set boundaries when your boss is a workaholic I am a 28 year old nurse practitioner for a very driven cardiologist. I am also married and a mother to a busy 4 year old. My collaborating physician works 16 hour days almost every day, and tells me that she values the fact that I work with her for these long hours because \"I understand her need.\" I love my job, and initially, I tried to be available for her long days to show my dedication to the job, but now I am becoming very drained and my family life is suffering. I am also salaried, and my contract stipulates that I am paid on the assumption that I work a 40 hour work week. How do I make boundaries with her without burning bridges?", "How to set boundaries when your boss is a workaholic I am a 28 year old nurse practitioner for a very driven cardiologist. I am also married and a mother to a busy 4 year old. My collaborating physician works 16 hour days almost every day, and tells me that she values the fact that I work with her for these long hours because \"I understand her need.\" I love my job, and initially, I tried to be available for her long days to show my dedication to the job, but now I am becoming very drained and my family life is suffering. I am also salaried, and my contract stipulates that I am paid on the assumption that I work a 40 hour work week. How do I make boundaries with her without burning bridges?", "How to set boundaries when your boss is a workaholic I am a 28 year old nurse practitioner for a very driven cardiologist. I am also married and a mother to a busy 4 year old. My collaborating physician works 16 hour days almost every day, and tells me that she values the fact that I work with her for these long hours because \"I understand her need.\" I love my job, and initially, I tried to be available for her long days to show my dedication to the job, but now I am becoming very drained and my family life is suffering. I am also salaried, and my contract stipulates that I am paid on the assumption that I work a 40 hour work week. How do I make boundaries with her without burning bridges?", "How to set boundaries when your boss is a workaholic I am a 28 year old nurse practitioner for a very driven cardiologist. I am also married and a mother to a busy 4 year old. My collaborating physician works 16 hour days almost every day, and tells me that she values the fact that I work with her for these long hours because \"I understand her need.\" I love my job, and initially, I tried to be available for her long days to show my dedication to the job, but now I am becoming very drained and my family life is suffering. I am also salaried, and my contract stipulates that I am paid on the assumption that I work a 40 hour work week. How do I make boundaries with her without burning bridges?", "How to set boundaries when your boss is a workaholic I am a 28 year old nurse practitioner for a very driven cardiologist. I am also married and a mother to a busy 4 year old. My collaborating physician works 16 hour days almost every day, and tells me that she values the fact that I work with her for these long hours because \"I understand her need.\" I love my job, and initially, I tried to be available for her long days to show my dedication to the job, but now I am becoming very drained and my family life is suffering. I am also salaried, and my contract stipulates that I am paid on the assumption that I work a 40 hour work week. How do I make boundaries with her without burning bridges?" ]

[ "I've found the best thing to do is to just say no. A guy who's work with me does so many hours unpaid overtime due to him being on salary and it's all because he can't say no. He can be at work until the early hours because someone asked him to quote something as he's ready to leave for the day, he goes out to site to fix problems (when he doesn't need to) on holidays off all because he can't say no. \nI don't know if this is part of OP problem, but I find a polite 'I'm sorry but I've got to get home to the kids' is often enough. If they still don't get the message just a straight 'no I can't' will definitely work. Just don't back down, once you've said no then stick with it", "Maybe something along the lines of \"I need to be available to my family more, so we need to come up with a plan to make use of my time more efficiently to help you get things done.\" \n\nDid you get a christmas bonus? Was it worth it to you for these long hours?\n\nI can only assume that you've put in some time between school and work to get where you are today. That amount of drive and dedication to your goals is very commendable in and of itself. \n", "Is she on a set salary also? If not then this may be your opening to discussing the overtime payments and therefore her need to bring the department in on budget by keeping your hours more or less in check. Anticipate the drive to just pay you though. \n\nThis is a contracting issue beyond all else and surely the HR department has something to say as she will need to report to them also. ", "Let them know of your life at home. Tell them you have priorities out side of work as well. And sometimes being able to focus on both and balance it your way will allow you to keep up quality work and stay motivated. ", "It doesn't sound like you want more money to me, so I would probably say something about maintaining a healthy work and life balance, and let her know you're beginning to feel drained and overworked. You can also include a compliment or two to grease the wheels.", "'I can't afford to work unpaid overtime anymore' \n\nStick to it, repeat as often as necessary. Excuses will only get you so far. ", "\"Hey I just want to let you know that my family situation has changed and I wanted to give you a heads up that I can't work extra hours anymore. I don't know when that will change.\"\n\nAlso, I don't know if this applies in your situation but in my phone I can choose to have certain numbers/contacts automatically forward to voicemail. You guessed it--my boss's office and cell numbers both go to voicemail every time. The issue is that he will call people relentlessly and conduct regular business after hours or even when someone is out of the office. He pretty much always has access to me during regular hours and I don't have a work phone, only a personal cell. If there is an actual issue then I talk to him about it right when I get to work next.\n\nAlthough, I am an hourly employee so there's a very cut and clear \"my time belongs to you\"/\"my time does not belong to you\". I would recommend talking to HR.", "Wait, you have to clarify here. Is the issue the total amount of hours? Or the length of the day?\n\nIf you're generally kept at >45hrs, lots of parents would prefer to generally work a longer day if that meant getting 4 days off a week. Especially if you can stagger it with your spouse's schedule where they're the one's home & taking care of the kid when you're doing your long days.", "My boss is a super energetic and passionate guy when it comes to work, which in turn leads to over enthusiasm when things get busy and order deadlines are soon and the adrenaline gets pumping. He starts making less than realistic demands or requests and the best way to deal with it is simply by talking to them. They're human at the end of the day and everyone is guilty of getting too tied up in their job and bosses are no exception especially. If your boss is seriously stuck and you could do the extra work, do it. If you can't then you can't and explain why. Don't start rejecting extra work for no reason either, I've found even an extra 20 mins can really boost your standings with your boss(es). \n\nTL;DR Just talk to them they can't force you or fire you.", "Look, youre in medicine, and you are working for a doctor who likely cannot say no to her hours, so she hired someone to share the load. You went from being a nurse, to being a nurse practitioner so that you could make more money and perform a higher level of care. You cant take an increase in pay and level of responsibility without experiencing something like this. If you want good hours, I would highly recommend you find a different field than cardiology where it is necessary to work extremely long hours. Be an FPNP, be a pediatric NP. If I am a PA or an NP, and I decide to work for a neurosurgeon or a cardiologist i am probably gonna have crappy hours. If i work for an outpatient practice, I probably will have some pretty nice hours. She will not understand because she is A. a doctor who cant say no to her patients, B. A cardiologist, whos schedule will always be crazy, because:mcdonalds/cigarettes. and C. expects that someone who works for her and has a knowledge of how the world of medicine works will understand and accept that. ", "You cannot really set boundaries with your boss. Your boss has power over you and you have little or no power over your boss. In a conflict with your boss, the best you can hope for is to have HR create a stalemate with the boss where you are never recognized or promoted in that area again and your boss is able to quietly torture you by assigning you work no one else wants to do. If it is a small business, you've got nothing.\n\nStart job shopping. If the boss is so bad you cannot, quit and job shop.\n\nYou can't tell your boss what to do. But you can fire them.\n" ]

[ 13, 4, 4, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, -2 ]

[ "A scammer logged into my unemployment account and changed my direct deposit info to their own bank. What can I do with this? ", "A scammer logged into my unemployment account and changed my direct deposit info to their own bank. What can I do with this? ", "A scammer logged into my unemployment account and changed my direct deposit info to their own bank. What can I do with this? " ]

[ "The best piece of advise I can give now is secure your accounts, change passwords, use two factor on both your bank and your email.", "Did you go to the unemployment site by clicking on that mail they sent you? That's likely they way they got you. Probably just made a \"fake front door\" to the actual site.\n\nCall unemployment for an IRL appointment concerning this. I don't know your country's laws concerning cyber crime, you probably want to look into that to file charges somewhere. Regular cops 90% of the time will have no idea how to process this.", "First thing you need to do is contact your actual bank, Chase. Let them know what happened and they will close the account. Yes, you are going to have to close this account as the scammers still have access to it or have the information from it. \n\nThen, you are going to have to open a new account. And provide that information to the social security office. \n\nIt’s going to be a headache, so sorry in advance for that. \n\nNow understand that these scammers have your information. It’s going to be wise to change all passwords tied in with your phone. You may even want to go as far as having it scanned for a virus. \n\nWells Fargo is going to be useless. Trust me on that, the one thing Wells Fargo does right is make other banks look better by comparison." ]

[ 3, 2, 1 ]

[ "Scared of insects I am so scared of insects, once I fell on my back while having a shower because a spider come close to me. My kitchen had wasps every other day last year and I had to pay hundreds to have them remove.. but there was no nest. When I see a lot of spider web, I burn it using a burner for creme brule (afraid to touch it to clean it). I have a balcon that I rarely use, just because bees, wasps and other insects come occasionally. LPTs appreciated...", "Scared of insects I am so scared of insects, once I fell on my back while having a shower because a spider come close to me. My kitchen had wasps every other day last year and I had to pay hundreds to have them remove.. but there was no nest. When I see a lot of spider web, I burn it using a burner for creme brule (afraid to touch it to clean it). I have a balcon that I rarely use, just because bees, wasps and other insects come occasionally. LPTs appreciated...", "Scared of insects I am so scared of insects, once I fell on my back while having a shower because a spider come close to me. My kitchen had wasps every other day last year and I had to pay hundreds to have them remove.. but there was no nest. When I see a lot of spider web, I burn it using a burner for creme brule (afraid to touch it to clean it). I have a balcon that I rarely use, just because bees, wasps and other insects come occasionally. LPTs appreciated...", "Scared of insects I am so scared of insects, once I fell on my back while having a shower because a spider come close to me. My kitchen had wasps every other day last year and I had to pay hundreds to have them remove.. but there was no nest. When I see a lot of spider web, I burn it using a burner for creme brule (afraid to touch it to clean it). I have a balcon that I rarely use, just because bees, wasps and other insects come occasionally. LPTs appreciated...", "Scared of insects I am so scared of insects, once I fell on my back while having a shower because a spider come close to me. My kitchen had wasps every other day last year and I had to pay hundreds to have them remove.. but there was no nest. When I see a lot of spider web, I burn it using a burner for creme brule (afraid to touch it to clean it). I have a balcon that I rarely use, just because bees, wasps and other insects come occasionally. LPTs appreciated...", "Scared of insects I am so scared of insects, once I fell on my back while having a shower because a spider come close to me. My kitchen had wasps every other day last year and I had to pay hundreds to have them remove.. but there was no nest. When I see a lot of spider web, I burn it using a burner for creme brule (afraid to touch it to clean it). I have a balcon that I rarely use, just because bees, wasps and other insects come occasionally. LPTs appreciated..." ]

[ "If it's a phobia, you'll need professional guidance. \n\nThe other option is that you're simply uneducated about insects. Have you tried learning about them with a curious and open mind? If you don't want fewer bugs in your house, then spiders are your friends because that's what they do, catch and eat other bugs. \n\nWhere are you from? The only spiders in the US that are particularly dangerous are black widows and brown recluses, and neither are remotely motivated to bite you. \n\nAs an avid gardner and lover of the woods, I'm around bees, wasps, spiders, etc. all the time and they don't even comprehend what you are, they just treat you like a tree unless you start swatting at them. I got stung by a bee this year for the first time *ever* and it's only because I was pinching off shriveled hibiscus flowers and a poor little guy was inside and was about to get squished to death. \n\nI let out a curse word, put some ice on my hand, and the pain was gone in a minute or two. Not a big deal unless you were born with an allergy.", "I'm not sure what you're asking here. You have a phobia. It is a mental condition. You can seek help for it.", "You hire professional pest control that can eradicate them for good. And set up your house so that it won't be an ideal place for bugs to live in", "My Mom loved her garden. She was an organic gardener and encouraged bugs, worms, snails etc into her small patch.\n\nHer comment to anyone who was squeamish, *\"It won't hurt you but it might make you hurt yourself.\"*\n\nTo me, that means that people are more likely to be damaged by their own fear than any bug.\n\n*Bugspray* is far worse for your health that the bugs.\n\nRational fear is rational.", "You could try to expose yourself to them a little bit at a time. I used to hate spiders then “inherited” a tarantula in college from a roommate. No bugs or creepy crawlers bother me now. Today I got within a few feet of a wasp nest bigger than a basketball on the bank of a trout stream. Maybe start with YouTube videos of bugs? My kid loves Coyote Peterson’s sting pain rating videos, that’s pretty extreme for you but could work up to it with some of his others or people who keep insects as “pets”.", "Spiders aren't insects (6 legs). They're arachnids (8 legs). And if you set fire to their webs, you 100% deserve the blazing fire that will result, and possible charges for manslaughter (if people die in the fire). Get someone else to remove the damn spider if you don't want it there and stop acting like a crazy arsonist before something terrible happens." ]

[ 9, 5, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "how do you make a woman's medium fit like a men's medium. So, for Christmas, my step mom got me a band tee. However, she had accidentally ordered a woman's medium instead of a men's medium. At this point, attempting to return it has become a hassle because the site we got it from has shit customer service. So, is there anyway to make it fit like a men's medium?", "how do you make a woman's medium fit like a men's medium. So, for Christmas, my step mom got me a band tee. However, she had accidentally ordered a woman's medium instead of a men's medium. At this point, attempting to return it has become a hassle because the site we got it from has shit customer service. So, is there anyway to make it fit like a men's medium?", "how do you make a woman's medium fit like a men's medium. So, for Christmas, my step mom got me a band tee. However, she had accidentally ordered a woman's medium instead of a men's medium. At this point, attempting to return it has become a hassle because the site we got it from has shit customer service. So, is there anyway to make it fit like a men's medium?", "how do you make a woman's medium fit like a men's medium. So, for Christmas, my step mom got me a band tee. However, she had accidentally ordered a woman's medium instead of a men's medium. At this point, attempting to return it has become a hassle because the site we got it from has shit customer service. So, is there anyway to make it fit like a men's medium?", "how do you make a woman's medium fit like a men's medium. So, for Christmas, my step mom got me a band tee. However, she had accidentally ordered a woman's medium instead of a men's medium. At this point, attempting to return it has become a hassle because the site we got it from has shit customer service. So, is there anyway to make it fit like a men's medium?", "how do you make a woman's medium fit like a men's medium. So, for Christmas, my step mom got me a band tee. However, she had accidentally ordered a woman's medium instead of a men's medium. At this point, attempting to return it has become a hassle because the site we got it from has shit customer service. So, is there anyway to make it fit like a men's medium?" ]

[ "1. Buy a jean jacket that fits you.\n\n2. Cut off the important parts of the band t-shirt.\n\n3. Sew the cut-off parts onto the jean jacket.\n\n(You may want to keep the stitches small to inhibit the cotton shirt-cloth from unraveling)\n\nThis is not really what you asked, but your original request isn't a life pro tip request that can be achieved. It's just not possible.", "Put it on, but leave your arms inside the shirt - then \"flex\" like you're at a muscleman competition (not too much though, don't want it to rip)- Then put your arms through the sleeves, but put your hands through with the fingers extended so they stretch the sleeve on the way out. ", "If a t-shirt is too small for you, there's no way you can make it bigger.\n\nHonestly, if I'd made a mistake like that with one of my kids, I'd buy them the correct shirt immediately. ", "Beyond the fact that a woman's medium is smaller than a man's, women's shirts are often built differently (deeper neck, higher sleeve cut). There's nothing that can be done about those differences", "Wash it & don't put it in the dryer. Wear it to stretch it out. Wear it, get it wet, let it dry on you. Wear it over a sweater. Lose weight.", "There is very little you can do here. To make big thing smaller you take away material to make small things bigger you buy a bigger thing. However if you are the type of dude who doesn't mind showing some skin you could cut it into one of these [strange gym tank tops](http://g01.s.alicdn.com/kf/HTB10MszIpXXXXczXVXXq6xXFXXX9/Men-s-dropped-armhole-tank-top-cotton.jpg_220x220.jpg). Rarely if ever is this sort of thing an acceptable thing to wear in public but at concerts, the beach, and the gym I could see this pinny thing working. " ]

[ 3, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "My glasses sit uncomfortably high on my bridge, but if I move it down I can't see fully. Something to make this more comfortable? Thank you!\n\nWe're dealing with black plastic frames here...", "My glasses sit uncomfortably high on my bridge, but if I move it down I can't see fully. Something to make this more comfortable? Thank you!\n\nWe're dealing with black plastic frames here...", "My glasses sit uncomfortably high on my bridge, but if I move it down I can't see fully. Something to make this more comfortable? Thank you!\n\nWe're dealing with black plastic frames here...", "My glasses sit uncomfortably high on my bridge, but if I move it down I can't see fully. Something to make this more comfortable? Thank you!\n\nWe're dealing with black plastic frames here..." ]

[ "Go to an eyeglass professional and have them look at the feet on the bridge. Your eyesight is not something to mess with or cheap out on. ", "Raise your eyebrows all the way up, put on your glasses and then relax. Or i might be thinking opposite if that doesn't work try scrunching your nose and eyebrows together and put them on then relax. Let me know if this helps.\n", "If they have individual \"feet\" for the bridge of your nose try bending them apart a little so your glasses sit a little further down on your nose", "I work in optical and plastic frames are really hard to adjust when it comes to the bridge of the nose. There's no nose pads to help make them sit higher or lower but if you just purchased them, depending on where you got them, they may let you re-style your frames to something that fits you a little better or order the same frame in different measurements. \n\nThere's a number on the inside of the eyeglasses, sometimes on the bridge where your nose is and sometimes on the inside of the temple of the glasses that's a measurement that you can go by when buying your glasses. If you have an old pair that fits comfortably check and see if you can read the numbers on them!\n\nFor instance, my glasses measure 53-16-140. The first number is the \"eye size\" which is the measurement diagonally across your lenses. The second number, 16, is the bridge width, and the 140 is the length of the temples (or arms, as some people call them) of the glasses.\n\nThese measurements are also super helpful when you buy glasses online since you can't try them on.\n\nHope this helps!\n\nSincerely,\nA girl that knows too much about eyeglasses" ]

[ 3, 2, 1, 0 ]

[ "How to remove paint from porcelain? I have some black paint on my white porcelain sink in my university room (Specifically MTN 94 black). How can I remove this before I get a fine?", "How to remove paint from porcelain? I have some black paint on my white porcelain sink in my university room (Specifically MTN 94 black). How can I remove this before I get a fine?", "How to remove paint from porcelain? I have some black paint on my white porcelain sink in my university room (Specifically MTN 94 black). How can I remove this before I get a fine?", "How to remove paint from porcelain? I have some black paint on my white porcelain sink in my university room (Specifically MTN 94 black). How can I remove this before I get a fine?" ]

[ "Porcelain is pretty chemically resistant. I would use some nail polish remover on a cotton ball to wipe the paint off. If there is a lot of paint you might want to use a rag instead of a cotton ball though. ", "depends on the type of paint. If it is a latex paint, just water should do the trick. Since this is in a sink, I'm willing to bet you already tried that. Most oil-based paints have turpentine as their solvent. Turpentine will be the easiest way to remove that. ", "Go buy some Steel wool and get scrubbing. You can get some in a local supermarket chemicals/kitchen aisle. Really good for getting off burnt-on food from pots and pans too.\n", "Best bet is hit up the manufacturer. This seems to be a specialty paint, they are going to be the ones that will best direct you. \n\nAfter a quick look at their site I could not figure out the base for this paint, I'd be leery of trying anything until you contacted them." ]

[ 6, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How do you say thank you to workers at a chain business who have gone above and beyond? Recently some workers at a supply store went above and beyond in helping me get and install a hitch for my car. I left a sparkling customer review. But they helped me so much the review just isn't enough.\n\nI thought about dropping off some donuts or cookies? I'm not really into cooking but I know where to get excellent donuts. Then I wasn't sure if they should all be glazed or I should mix it up with cream sticks? Any pro tips on saying thanks would really be appreciated!\n\nUpdate: Thank you for the replies! I did both: I dropped off some donuts and I escalated my compliments as far up the corporate ladder as I could go to the district manager. I also wrote a note to go with the donuts. I made sure I sent the review to the district manager and wrote the note because of what you all wrote. Thank you!\n\n&amp;#x200B;", "How do you say thank you to workers at a chain business who have gone above and beyond? Recently some workers at a supply store went above and beyond in helping me get and install a hitch for my car. I left a sparkling customer review. But they helped me so much the review just isn't enough.\n\nI thought about dropping off some donuts or cookies? I'm not really into cooking but I know where to get excellent donuts. Then I wasn't sure if they should all be glazed or I should mix it up with cream sticks? Any pro tips on saying thanks would really be appreciated!\n\nUpdate: Thank you for the replies! I did both: I dropped off some donuts and I escalated my compliments as far up the corporate ladder as I could go to the district manager. I also wrote a note to go with the donuts. I made sure I sent the review to the district manager and wrote the note because of what you all wrote. Thank you!\n\n&amp;#x200B;", "How do you say thank you to workers at a chain business who have gone above and beyond? Recently some workers at a supply store went above and beyond in helping me get and install a hitch for my car. I left a sparkling customer review. But they helped me so much the review just isn't enough.\n\nI thought about dropping off some donuts or cookies? I'm not really into cooking but I know where to get excellent donuts. Then I wasn't sure if they should all be glazed or I should mix it up with cream sticks? Any pro tips on saying thanks would really be appreciated!\n\nUpdate: Thank you for the replies! I did both: I dropped off some donuts and I escalated my compliments as far up the corporate ladder as I could go to the district manager. I also wrote a note to go with the donuts. I made sure I sent the review to the district manager and wrote the note because of what you all wrote. Thank you!\n\n&amp;#x200B;", "How do you say thank you to workers at a chain business who have gone above and beyond? Recently some workers at a supply store went above and beyond in helping me get and install a hitch for my car. I left a sparkling customer review. But they helped me so much the review just isn't enough.\n\nI thought about dropping off some donuts or cookies? I'm not really into cooking but I know where to get excellent donuts. Then I wasn't sure if they should all be glazed or I should mix it up with cream sticks? Any pro tips on saying thanks would really be appreciated!\n\nUpdate: Thank you for the replies! I did both: I dropped off some donuts and I escalated my compliments as far up the corporate ladder as I could go to the district manager. I also wrote a note to go with the donuts. I made sure I sent the review to the district manager and wrote the note because of what you all wrote. Thank you!\n\n&amp;#x200B;", "How do you say thank you to workers at a chain business who have gone above and beyond? Recently some workers at a supply store went above and beyond in helping me get and install a hitch for my car. I left a sparkling customer review. But they helped me so much the review just isn't enough.\n\nI thought about dropping off some donuts or cookies? I'm not really into cooking but I know where to get excellent donuts. Then I wasn't sure if they should all be glazed or I should mix it up with cream sticks? Any pro tips on saying thanks would really be appreciated!\n\nUpdate: Thank you for the replies! I did both: I dropped off some donuts and I escalated my compliments as far up the corporate ladder as I could go to the district manager. I also wrote a note to go with the donuts. I made sure I sent the review to the district manager and wrote the note because of what you all wrote. Thank you!\n\n&amp;#x200B;" ]

[ "I would go for the donuts. I would just tell the donut people to give you an assorted selection. My job gets donuts every now and then from different customers and it really makes the whole day awesome. Everyone is happy!", "I would go as far up the chain as possible telling them what a great job they did. Food is a nice gesture but getting a raise the next time they are eligible helps out their lives", "Give them money. Any kind of food is patronising and in my opinion won’t effectively convey your appreciation.", "A meal ticket . I mean it, most stores, employees Doesn’t have time to eat, so she can go and eat what ever she wants.", ">I thought about dropping off some donuts or cookies? I'm not really into cooking but I know where to get excellent donuts. Then I wasn't sure if they should all be glazed or I should mix it up with cream sticks? Any pro tips on saying thanks would really be appreciated!\n\nSounds like you have a bit of social anxiety when it comes to thanking people.\n\nDonuts is a great idea. It doesn't matter what kind of donuts or how you get them. It's a gesture and you turning up to say thank you with some donuts is more important any little detail." ]

[ 8, 3, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to not go into just passive 'listening mode' when you should be arguing for your rights? * Whenever there's some imminent 'arguing' about to go on, my mind just 'shuts down' and I go into listening mode... as I try to understand what the other person is saying. \n\n* In the end, I do end up understanding the other person, but I end up unhappy as I have not explained my side of the case, or I feel manipulated into agreeing with the other person. \n\n* I feel like I have wasted time trying to 'argue' my case, and have got nowhere except frustration. \n\n* Sometimes I wish I could just say something like, \"STFU, your way is not always the best way, you arrogant SOAB.\" \n\n* It's not like the Internet, where you can formulate a good argument. No, it is real time.\n\n* I guess I have just been brought up to be a good listener, rather than a 'fighter'. Need to change this, or I am just going to end up unhappy all the time. ", "How to not go into just passive 'listening mode' when you should be arguing for your rights? * Whenever there's some imminent 'arguing' about to go on, my mind just 'shuts down' and I go into listening mode... as I try to understand what the other person is saying. \n\n* In the end, I do end up understanding the other person, but I end up unhappy as I have not explained my side of the case, or I feel manipulated into agreeing with the other person. \n\n* I feel like I have wasted time trying to 'argue' my case, and have got nowhere except frustration. \n\n* Sometimes I wish I could just say something like, \"STFU, your way is not always the best way, you arrogant SOAB.\" \n\n* It's not like the Internet, where you can formulate a good argument. No, it is real time.\n\n* I guess I have just been brought up to be a good listener, rather than a 'fighter'. Need to change this, or I am just going to end up unhappy all the time. ", "How to not go into just passive 'listening mode' when you should be arguing for your rights? * Whenever there's some imminent 'arguing' about to go on, my mind just 'shuts down' and I go into listening mode... as I try to understand what the other person is saying. \n\n* In the end, I do end up understanding the other person, but I end up unhappy as I have not explained my side of the case, or I feel manipulated into agreeing with the other person. \n\n* I feel like I have wasted time trying to 'argue' my case, and have got nowhere except frustration. \n\n* Sometimes I wish I could just say something like, \"STFU, your way is not always the best way, you arrogant SOAB.\" \n\n* It's not like the Internet, where you can formulate a good argument. No, it is real time.\n\n* I guess I have just been brought up to be a good listener, rather than a 'fighter'. Need to change this, or I am just going to end up unhappy all the time. ", "How to not go into just passive 'listening mode' when you should be arguing for your rights? * Whenever there's some imminent 'arguing' about to go on, my mind just 'shuts down' and I go into listening mode... as I try to understand what the other person is saying. \n\n* In the end, I do end up understanding the other person, but I end up unhappy as I have not explained my side of the case, or I feel manipulated into agreeing with the other person. \n\n* I feel like I have wasted time trying to 'argue' my case, and have got nowhere except frustration. \n\n* Sometimes I wish I could just say something like, \"STFU, your way is not always the best way, you arrogant SOAB.\" \n\n* It's not like the Internet, where you can formulate a good argument. No, it is real time.\n\n* I guess I have just been brought up to be a good listener, rather than a 'fighter'. Need to change this, or I am just going to end up unhappy all the time. ", "How to not go into just passive 'listening mode' when you should be arguing for your rights? * Whenever there's some imminent 'arguing' about to go on, my mind just 'shuts down' and I go into listening mode... as I try to understand what the other person is saying. \n\n* In the end, I do end up understanding the other person, but I end up unhappy as I have not explained my side of the case, or I feel manipulated into agreeing with the other person. \n\n* I feel like I have wasted time trying to 'argue' my case, and have got nowhere except frustration. \n\n* Sometimes I wish I could just say something like, \"STFU, your way is not always the best way, you arrogant SOAB.\" \n\n* It's not like the Internet, where you can formulate a good argument. No, it is real time.\n\n* I guess I have just been brought up to be a good listener, rather than a 'fighter'. Need to change this, or I am just going to end up unhappy all the time. ", "How to not go into just passive 'listening mode' when you should be arguing for your rights? * Whenever there's some imminent 'arguing' about to go on, my mind just 'shuts down' and I go into listening mode... as I try to understand what the other person is saying. \n\n* In the end, I do end up understanding the other person, but I end up unhappy as I have not explained my side of the case, or I feel manipulated into agreeing with the other person. \n\n* I feel like I have wasted time trying to 'argue' my case, and have got nowhere except frustration. \n\n* Sometimes I wish I could just say something like, \"STFU, your way is not always the best way, you arrogant SOAB.\" \n\n* It's not like the Internet, where you can formulate a good argument. No, it is real time.\n\n* I guess I have just been brought up to be a good listener, rather than a 'fighter'. Need to change this, or I am just going to end up unhappy all the time. " ]

[ "Not sure what situation you are referring to, but if you are posting in Careers & Work, refer to your employee manual, and if necessary visit your HR department. ", "I have exactly the same problem. It became really frustrating in my home life, but I was able to explain to my partner that my brain works differently to hers and that I need a little more time to respond, to stay on one point at a time, and to have opportunities to respond throughout a conversation/argument. It's an ongoing thing, but practice has helped me improve. I wish you luck. ", "Most of the time, but if you're overly passive in arguments, it means that you're not establishing your arguing points enough during the argument. Meaning, as soon as you think of something to counter someone, you need to wait for the nearest break int he conversation to bring it up. Even if you have to interrupt them occasionally, if your point is legitimate, it should steer the conversation and allow further discussing from that point. This is not always easy however because most people try and commandeer the argument by talking over opposition, but honestly, if they are that type of person to speak over you and not allow you to give your input, then they might not be worth arguing with, or at least at that point in time. ", "Who's to say your way of \"arguing\" is wrong. If the person isn't giving you time to speak or voice your opinions on their subject matter than chances are they are just trying to lecture you. It isn't a debate or an argument in an attempt to change your mind.\n\nThey are just spewing their own ideals and their passion for them at that point. Take it or leave it.\n\nI find that a lot of people just want to talk and not be questioned and that's their \"argument\".", "I thought I am the only one with this condition. It feels good to read that there are other people who feel the same way I feel. ", "Arguments usually tend to become a confidence competition other than a constructive-discussion, shrink the other person confidence by bringing the war to them, it doesn't mean be hostile, just memorize your position when they speak, utilize facial expressions to seed doubt, and use short questions during the breaks which will force the attention towards them and confuse them.. being a good listener is a perk, you can always identify a counter argument that will pull the crowd attention towards you by neutralizing whatever the other person said, remember, every debate is about the listeners - not the other side, show charisma and confidence and one day you'll be president :]" ]

[ 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to smile for photos I have a good smile when I'm laughing or happy, but when I smile for photos the smiles always feel forced and come out awkward. Any tips for getting authentic smiles on camera?", "How to smile for photos I have a good smile when I'm laughing or happy, but when I smile for photos the smiles always feel forced and come out awkward. Any tips for getting authentic smiles on camera?", "How to smile for photos I have a good smile when I'm laughing or happy, but when I smile for photos the smiles always feel forced and come out awkward. Any tips for getting authentic smiles on camera?", "How to smile for photos I have a good smile when I'm laughing or happy, but when I smile for photos the smiles always feel forced and come out awkward. Any tips for getting authentic smiles on camera?", "How to smile for photos I have a good smile when I'm laughing or happy, but when I smile for photos the smiles always feel forced and come out awkward. Any tips for getting authentic smiles on camera?", "How to smile for photos I have a good smile when I'm laughing or happy, but when I smile for photos the smiles always feel forced and come out awkward. Any tips for getting authentic smiles on camera?", "How to smile for photos I have a good smile when I'm laughing or happy, but when I smile for photos the smiles always feel forced and come out awkward. Any tips for getting authentic smiles on camera?", "How to smile for photos I have a good smile when I'm laughing or happy, but when I smile for photos the smiles always feel forced and come out awkward. Any tips for getting authentic smiles on camera?", "How to smile for photos I have a good smile when I'm laughing or happy, but when I smile for photos the smiles always feel forced and come out awkward. Any tips for getting authentic smiles on camera?", "How to smile for photos I have a good smile when I'm laughing or happy, but when I smile for photos the smiles always feel forced and come out awkward. Any tips for getting authentic smiles on camera?", "How to smile for photos I have a good smile when I'm laughing or happy, but when I smile for photos the smiles always feel forced and come out awkward. Any tips for getting authentic smiles on camera?", "How to smile for photos I have a good smile when I'm laughing or happy, but when I smile for photos the smiles always feel forced and come out awkward. Any tips for getting authentic smiles on camera?" ]

[ "I'm a performer. It is possible to 'fake' a smile and not think of anything happy. The key to a great smile is the eyes. Eyes are so important in showing emotion. There's an acting exercise where you cover the lower half of your face, and try and show yourself (mirror) what your eyes look if you're angry, sad, happy etc. Try it out!\n", "Tips for posing for a portrait:\nhttp://gadgetwise.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/14/six-tips-for-better-portraits/", "Practice in front of a mirror everytime you have the chance. Only show the upper teeth, squint your eyes a little and clench your throat. This isn't easy to memorize but that's my routine, I used to have a \"constipated\" smile until my mother (she's so god damn photogenic) showed me how to smile correctly.", "Apparently if you ask to take a photo with the actor Michael Caine and try to say 'cheese,' he tells people to say 'Armani' instead. I've tried this a few times now and damnit he's right, the resulting smile looks a lot more natural (assuming you don't catch everyone on the M).\n\nNo sauce unfortunately, I have no idea where I heard it. ", "A good trick for forcing yourself to laugh:\n\nStart by literally saying, \"hahaha.\" Do it over and over. It will be forced at first, but after a while, you'll start to genuinely laugh. If you can get the photographer to join you, it will be happen even quicker because of how contagious laughter is.", "I am the same way. I do 1 of 2 things depending on company. 1. I make myself laugh by saying something completely inappropriate. For example, \"I can't smile comfortably without laughing so could you come over here and tickle my balls first.\" 2. I think of something that I found really funny and mentally \"go there.\" ", "Actually be smiling. If it's a photographer, they should be pretty capable in making you feel comfortable and get you smiling. It's really not that hard.\n\nIf it's just a friend taking a random picture, try not to pay attention to the camera. Just keep keeping on, keep up the conversation and ignore the fact there's a camera. You're going to look better for it.", "You might notice from looking at other people or paying to yourself when you're really laughing or smiling out of happiness, the eyes squint a little bit.\n\nThat's all it takes for a happy smile. ", "When someone calls your name, you turn around and realize it's an old friend. You smile seamlessly as you finish saying \"Heyyy!\"\n\nThat's the look.", "My mum always said smile with your eyes! It comes across more genuine and honest. [This video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxzR4n0OHHk&list=PLefV978fp07dSgTtttgZwaP7bSwb5qfJJ&index=16) gives a great overview of why someone like Will Smith can give a more authentic smile while others can look forced and awkward", "I've heard that one of the ways you can make yourself look sincere when smiling for a photo is to think about someone you care about (SO, sibling, friend, etc.) and the natural smile that they provoke in you should be natural and honest. ", "Force a little giggle while mouthing the word \"shit\". Like a good buddy just told you some horrible, but hilarious, story. \n\nI learned it from an old high school teacher. Works great." ]

[ 67, 15, 13, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "I can't be passionate at anything I do. How can I change this? Lately, I've doing less and less, I used to like writing, drawing, learning to code, going to the gym but now, I just feel indifferent about these things. But deep inside I feel like still wanting to pursue them, but can't find myself doing so, how can I change? I want to but don't know how to do so.\n\n", "I can't be passionate at anything I do. How can I change this? Lately, I've doing less and less, I used to like writing, drawing, learning to code, going to the gym but now, I just feel indifferent about these things. But deep inside I feel like still wanting to pursue them, but can't find myself doing so, how can I change? I want to but don't know how to do so.\n\n", "I can't be passionate at anything I do. How can I change this? Lately, I've doing less and less, I used to like writing, drawing, learning to code, going to the gym but now, I just feel indifferent about these things. But deep inside I feel like still wanting to pursue them, but can't find myself doing so, how can I change? I want to but don't know how to do so.\n\n", "I can't be passionate at anything I do. How can I change this? Lately, I've doing less and less, I used to like writing, drawing, learning to code, going to the gym but now, I just feel indifferent about these things. But deep inside I feel like still wanting to pursue them, but can't find myself doing so, how can I change? I want to but don't know how to do so.\n\n", "I can't be passionate at anything I do. How can I change this? Lately, I've doing less and less, I used to like writing, drawing, learning to code, going to the gym but now, I just feel indifferent about these things. But deep inside I feel like still wanting to pursue them, but can't find myself doing so, how can I change? I want to but don't know how to do so.\n\n", "I can't be passionate at anything I do. How can I change this? Lately, I've doing less and less, I used to like writing, drawing, learning to code, going to the gym but now, I just feel indifferent about these things. But deep inside I feel like still wanting to pursue them, but can't find myself doing so, how can I change? I want to but don't know how to do so.\n\n", "I can't be passionate at anything I do. How can I change this? Lately, I've doing less and less, I used to like writing, drawing, learning to code, going to the gym but now, I just feel indifferent about these things. But deep inside I feel like still wanting to pursue them, but can't find myself doing so, how can I change? I want to but don't know how to do so.\n\n", "I can't be passionate at anything I do. How can I change this? Lately, I've doing less and less, I used to like writing, drawing, learning to code, going to the gym but now, I just feel indifferent about these things. But deep inside I feel like still wanting to pursue them, but can't find myself doing so, how can I change? I want to but don't know how to do so.\n\n", "I can't be passionate at anything I do. How can I change this? Lately, I've doing less and less, I used to like writing, drawing, learning to code, going to the gym but now, I just feel indifferent about these things. But deep inside I feel like still wanting to pursue them, but can't find myself doing so, how can I change? I want to but don't know how to do so.\n\n" ]

[ "That sounds like depression. You need to reach out to someone and ask for help. Definitely get back into exercising because the condition of your body directly correlates with the condition of your mind. Clean up your diet, get outside and see the sun an hour or so a day, and go out for a drink with a friend. The worst thing you can do is ignore it. ", "Find your passion. Sounds stupid, but true. \n\nSpend a lot of time with friends and fam, doing great things. Get out there, plan things, trips, start dating, work out, play an instrument, get a nice job... ", "Get really good at making money. It’s pretty fun, plus then you have a lot of money. There’s a lot of cash out there you just gotta put your name on it.", "What are you spending your time doing? Are you spending more and more time on reddit and other time wasting sites? It’s possible your brain has just gotten so accustomed to immediate gratification, that you’re finding your other hobbies boring when you try to get back into them.\n\nTake a step back from social media for a week or two. When you get bored, reach for one of your hobbies instead of your phone. It’ll probably be tough and feel boring at first, but don’t walk away. If you push through that mental block, you might be able to get engaged again.", "There was that tip \"When you don't know what to do, just go and study or read. Sure you will come up with something to do, or at least you had studied\" so that's my tip. Study, read and exercise until you get back your passion. At least you won't waste your time. ", "I think you're describing something a lot of people experience . Therapy could be useful to get a professional opinion, but beware of the pharmaceutical \"solution.\" It can become a revolving door of drugs, and eventually you don't know who you are anymore. Have you tried doing new things? New hobbies, meeting new people. Try getting out of your usual routine into something completely different. ", " Therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy if needed.\n\n Passion and motivation is fleeting. You can watch a YouTube video and feel like crushing it, but that feeling goes away. You have to sit and just complete the task. It will suck. Do it enough times until it’s a habit. Knock goals out regularly and your life will change.\n\nAlso regular exercise is extremely important. Again, the beginning sucks, but you got to get past the ‘suck’, until it becomes a habit, and then it’s almost like m", "Try not to spend too much time on your screens i.e. cellphone, tablets, tv’s. You’ll find there’s more time during the day when you unplug. ", "There is no 1 life pro tip to be good at life, it takes more than that but it boils down to hearing what your body has to tell you and act accordingly. " ]

[ 18, 6, 4, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How do I verify that I don't have someone's Amazon reference link set as a cookie in my browser? I've read that there is a way for someone to embed their Amazon store reference link into a cookie that is persistent in your browser. And from then on, any time you go to Amazon, you are using their reference and getting them their \"commission\". \n\nSo, there are websites out there that you may have clicked on at some point to look at a product that goes to Amazon and you may have this cookie set.\n\nI use Chrome and I have looked at my Amazon cookies. I can't tell if any of them have this embedded reference.\n\nCan anyone describe how to determine this? Or is the only way to really be sure to delete all Amazon cookies?\n\n", "How do I verify that I don't have someone's Amazon reference link set as a cookie in my browser? I've read that there is a way for someone to embed their Amazon store reference link into a cookie that is persistent in your browser. And from then on, any time you go to Amazon, you are using their reference and getting them their \"commission\". \n\nSo, there are websites out there that you may have clicked on at some point to look at a product that goes to Amazon and you may have this cookie set.\n\nI use Chrome and I have looked at my Amazon cookies. I can't tell if any of them have this embedded reference.\n\nCan anyone describe how to determine this? Or is the only way to really be sure to delete all Amazon cookies?\n\n", "How do I verify that I don't have someone's Amazon reference link set as a cookie in my browser? I've read that there is a way for someone to embed their Amazon store reference link into a cookie that is persistent in your browser. And from then on, any time you go to Amazon, you are using their reference and getting them their \"commission\". \n\nSo, there are websites out there that you may have clicked on at some point to look at a product that goes to Amazon and you may have this cookie set.\n\nI use Chrome and I have looked at my Amazon cookies. I can't tell if any of them have this embedded reference.\n\nCan anyone describe how to determine this? Or is the only way to really be sure to delete all Amazon cookies?\n\n" ]

[ "As far as I know it's not a cookie. But a URL based link that does it. If you just type on amazon.com into your browser is should be fine. But if you follow a link from a site that has it set up ( and then save that as your default amazon bookmark ) or use the search widget on their site can get a commission. Unless things have changed in the last while it isn't cookie based. ", "The affiliate cookie lasts about 24 hours (or it gets replaced by another affiliate) you could do all your amazon shopping by first opening an incognito window. The prices stay the same, they just usually get around 4% commission.", "It really doesn't matter at all to you, the customer. Just let them get their fraudulent commission and Amazon will eventually figure it out and take action against them. It still won't affect you or the price you pay for items on Amazon." ]

[ 3, 2, -3 ]

[ "Is there ways I can increase my focus, productivity and motivation at home? I am a college student I can work and focus okay when I'm in a classroom, but when I'm at home, I am completely distracted and have zero motivation in doing anything productive.\n\nI want to change this aspect of mine.", "Is there ways I can increase my focus, productivity and motivation at home? I am a college student I can work and focus okay when I'm in a classroom, but when I'm at home, I am completely distracted and have zero motivation in doing anything productive.\n\nI want to change this aspect of mine.", "Is there ways I can increase my focus, productivity and motivation at home? I am a college student I can work and focus okay when I'm in a classroom, but when I'm at home, I am completely distracted and have zero motivation in doing anything productive.\n\nI want to change this aspect of mine.", "Is there ways I can increase my focus, productivity and motivation at home? I am a college student I can work and focus okay when I'm in a classroom, but when I'm at home, I am completely distracted and have zero motivation in doing anything productive.\n\nI want to change this aspect of mine.", "Is there ways I can increase my focus, productivity and motivation at home? I am a college student I can work and focus okay when I'm in a classroom, but when I'm at home, I am completely distracted and have zero motivation in doing anything productive.\n\nI want to change this aspect of mine.", "Is there ways I can increase my focus, productivity and motivation at home? I am a college student I can work and focus okay when I'm in a classroom, but when I'm at home, I am completely distracted and have zero motivation in doing anything productive.\n\nI want to change this aspect of mine." ]

[ "This was me (graduated medical school now). The best thing I found was to...not be at home. Local libraries are the best, because you are surrounded by people who are also studying. Failing that, I'd get together in a study group. \n\nIf you absolutely must get stuff done at home, then just use the 2-minute rule. If you don't feel like doing anything, just do work for 2 minutes. Usually you'll end up working for like 20-30 minutes even if you don't realise it, for the same reason that we browse Reddit for 2 hours after only wanting to go on there for a minute. Like...me right now...", "Have a space that is specifically for your task. Turn off the TV, put the phone away. Have water and a snack nearby, and commit to sitting there and doing the work you need to. ", "Separate your work and leisure spaces. It helps your brain focus on which activity it is supposed to be doing. If you play a lot of games on your laptop, find a physical space where you sit just for when you are doing work. Other environmental cues have helped me in the past. I turn the lights on, I don't put pjs on until I'm done working, etc. Another thing that might help is finding a space to work that isn't at home. For example: the library, a table on the the third floor of an academic building, or an empty classroom. Any space that you can mentally designate as your \"Workspace\"", "Look up reinforcements and reinforcement schedule in the applied behaviour analysis field. Most valuable psychological field, imo, as results are about as concrete as they get in the psychological field", "Look at babies. This can be baby animals. Pictures of baby animals. When you see baby animals, you think \"Must take care of them\".", "Grab a pair of wireless headphones and get some epic music going (gaming, movies, etc.) and go at it! Gets you pumped, adrenaline flowing and laser focused." ]

[ 12, 7, 3, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "Shopping on Cyber Monday Any tips for how to go about buying everything you want online? I've never shopped on Cyber Monday before so I'm not really sure what to expect.\n\nAlso, does anyone suggest websites/brands for laptops? My screen has been going out for months, so I figure now would be the best time to get a new one.", "Shopping on Cyber Monday Any tips for how to go about buying everything you want online? I've never shopped on Cyber Monday before so I'm not really sure what to expect.\n\nAlso, does anyone suggest websites/brands for laptops? My screen has been going out for months, so I figure now would be the best time to get a new one.", "Shopping on Cyber Monday Any tips for how to go about buying everything you want online? I've never shopped on Cyber Monday before so I'm not really sure what to expect.\n\nAlso, does anyone suggest websites/brands for laptops? My screen has been going out for months, so I figure now would be the best time to get a new one.", "Shopping on Cyber Monday Any tips for how to go about buying everything you want online? I've never shopped on Cyber Monday before so I'm not really sure what to expect.\n\nAlso, does anyone suggest websites/brands for laptops? My screen has been going out for months, so I figure now would be the best time to get a new one.", "Shopping on Cyber Monday Any tips for how to go about buying everything you want online? I've never shopped on Cyber Monday before so I'm not really sure what to expect.\n\nAlso, does anyone suggest websites/brands for laptops? My screen has been going out for months, so I figure now would be the best time to get a new one.", "Shopping on Cyber Monday Any tips for how to go about buying everything you want online? I've never shopped on Cyber Monday before so I'm not really sure what to expect.\n\nAlso, does anyone suggest websites/brands for laptops? My screen has been going out for months, so I figure now would be the best time to get a new one.", "Shopping on Cyber Monday Any tips for how to go about buying everything you want online? I've never shopped on Cyber Monday before so I'm not really sure what to expect.\n\nAlso, does anyone suggest websites/brands for laptops? My screen has been going out for months, so I figure now would be the best time to get a new one.", "Shopping on Cyber Monday Any tips for how to go about buying everything you want online? I've never shopped on Cyber Monday before so I'm not really sure what to expect.\n\nAlso, does anyone suggest websites/brands for laptops? My screen has been going out for months, so I figure now would be the best time to get a new one.", "Shopping on Cyber Monday Any tips for how to go about buying everything you want online? I've never shopped on Cyber Monday before so I'm not really sure what to expect.\n\nAlso, does anyone suggest websites/brands for laptops? My screen has been going out for months, so I figure now would be the best time to get a new one.", "Shopping on Cyber Monday Any tips for how to go about buying everything you want online? I've never shopped on Cyber Monday before so I'm not really sure what to expect.\n\nAlso, does anyone suggest websites/brands for laptops? My screen has been going out for months, so I figure now would be the best time to get a new one." ]

[ "* You don't need to feel obliged to buy something just because its some sort of holiday.\n\n* You may be able to save $50 by spending $100, but you can also save $100 by spending $0.\n\n* If you find an item you think is on sale, google it and check several websites to see if it really is on sale, or just the original price with a ~~$100~~ slapped on it.", "use whatever sites you use normally, then look for deals\n\ndon't feel obliged to get stuff, if you need it and were looking to get it anyway fine, but no point splashing out on shit. I bought a headset as it was half price I was gonna buy it anyway so it worked out fine ", "I guess this is a good thread to ask a question I didn't want to make a thread for.\n\nWhat website has the best deals for new DVD's?", "Buy a bunch of clothes on a really solid sale- I got a few pairs of jeans that I like for 40% off just to stock up as they were so cheap (501s don't go outta style). You can try on and keep what you like and return the rest (check to see if the place has free returns/ covers shipping). This is also a good strategy to get around having to pay for shipping, get a bunch of stuff so you've spent x dollars to get free shipping, return the stuff you don't like and save the $10 or whatever it would have been for shipping. ", "Wait until after Christmas, it will be cheaper. And by it, I mean everything. They run the price up for months before Christmas, then have a \"pretend\" sale. ", "If you just use your laptop for surfing/email/etc, you could also check out woot.com - they are basically an daily deals/overstock outlet for amazon products, and they have laptops on there about once a week. They normally have a pretty decent discount on all the merchandise they have on the site", "Btw, if you're screen is 'going' out, its probably down to a faulty lcd data cable. Open up your case, find the wire, wiggle it about to see if it's damaged. Then (if it's not too damaged), find an angle where it gives a clear signal and duct tape that bitch up. Worked for me when my screen was fucking with me", "If shipping is not free, buy online and do in store pick up to avoid added costs. Did this with a tv/blu-ray/surround sound combo a few years ago at Best Buy. ", "First advice: Buy only the things that you really, truly need. Try making a list of the only items you'll buy if they go on sale.\n\nSecond advice: /r/blackfriday. Subreddit will still be looking for deals on Cyber Monday.", "Talking about cyber monday, lets say I want to buy a phone on amazon (the phone is questions is a motorola moto g 2nd gen). how does the whole cyber monday thing work?\n\nI mean, is it as simple as going on Amazon.com on monday and buying it normally?" ]

[ 211, 11, 5, 5, 4, 2, 2, 1, 1, 0 ]

[ "Best way to peel an orange I have one for lunch every day and those guys are messy! Plus, my eye was viciously attacked by a jet of juice. ", "Best way to peel an orange I have one for lunch every day and those guys are messy! Plus, my eye was viciously attacked by a jet of juice. ", "Best way to peel an orange I have one for lunch every day and those guys are messy! Plus, my eye was viciously attacked by a jet of juice. " ]

[ "Firmly roll the orange around in your hands or on a hard surface. This breaks all the fibers off connecting the skin. Peeling is so much easier. ", "I always pay someone to peel my oranges and slowly feed them to me. We then share a moment where we stare into each other's soul while the juices run down my cheek. We both want to do something about the juices, but in a way it feels right to let them drip.", "I cut the top' then cut the Orange in half. It's not the most effective way and can get a few squirts on ya but it's easy enough" ]

[ 5, 3, 2 ]

[ "How not to do things mechanically at work? I was told that I do tasks mechanically and I dont know how to fix it. ", "How not to do things mechanically at work? I was told that I do tasks mechanically and I dont know how to fix it. " ]

[ "Manager here.\n\nI've seen this phrase used when someone does something absolutely according to a process, or to the barest minimum that's necessary, to complete a task.\n\nThe answer for me has almost always been EMPATHY - the understanding of \"why\" they need that task completed, even if you might not agree personally with those reasons - and then adding value to the task so they get at least as much, if not more than they meant, from you when they asked you to do it. \n\nWhen someone requires something of you, apply your imagination and ask yourself what do they want or need from that request? What else would help them, or help you appear to be a performer, when doing that work?\n\nEmpathy has been the single and most important factor of my reasonably successful career. It's amazing stuff if you can knuckle around to thinking that way. Seriously.", "My understanding of your statement is that you only do what you're told exactly, not what may be implied. Usually this means you have to think a little bit more for yourself as to how to obtain the best results for your given job. \n\n\nHere's a hypothetical. If your task is to print copies of documents for four different bosses, maybe you'd highlight the most relevant parts that pertain for each boss?\n\n\nProbably not the best example but your question is a little vague.\n\n\n\n" ]

[ 4, 2 ]

[ "Is it ever too early to write a living will or regular will? I'm 29 and in good health, but have thought a lot about what I'd want for my body after I die and/or get seriously injured.\nNot in a morbid way, and I'm not suicidal or anything. I just don't want to end up on life support for months if something were to happen. I guess just planning for the future.\n\nAlso, do you *have to* go through a lawyer?\n\nThanks!", "Is it ever too early to write a living will or regular will? I'm 29 and in good health, but have thought a lot about what I'd want for my body after I die and/or get seriously injured.\nNot in a morbid way, and I'm not suicidal or anything. I just don't want to end up on life support for months if something were to happen. I guess just planning for the future.\n\nAlso, do you *have to* go through a lawyer?\n\nThanks!", "Is it ever too early to write a living will or regular will? I'm 29 and in good health, but have thought a lot about what I'd want for my body after I die and/or get seriously injured.\nNot in a morbid way, and I'm not suicidal or anything. I just don't want to end up on life support for months if something were to happen. I guess just planning for the future.\n\nAlso, do you *have to* go through a lawyer?\n\nThanks!", "Is it ever too early to write a living will or regular will? I'm 29 and in good health, but have thought a lot about what I'd want for my body after I die and/or get seriously injured.\nNot in a morbid way, and I'm not suicidal or anything. I just don't want to end up on life support for months if something were to happen. I guess just planning for the future.\n\nAlso, do you *have to* go through a lawyer?\n\nThanks!", "Is it ever too early to write a living will or regular will? I'm 29 and in good health, but have thought a lot about what I'd want for my body after I die and/or get seriously injured.\nNot in a morbid way, and I'm not suicidal or anything. I just don't want to end up on life support for months if something were to happen. I guess just planning for the future.\n\nAlso, do you *have to* go through a lawyer?\n\nThanks!" ]

[ "It's never too early to write a will, although it's not legally binding until you're 18 (in England at least). From what I remember (GCSE Law) you don't have to go to a lawyer, you can just write it down and sign it, although if you use a lawyer it will definitely be legally binding. My current approach is telling people what I want to happen when I die, although being a 21 year old student, I don't exactly have a lot give away, mostly just my organs if they can be donated =)", "It's never a fun thing to think about but accidents can happen at anytime so if you know what you want it is best to go ahead and get that in writing so you don't have to worry about living on life support if you don't want that. There are various websites that you can get pre made forms for a will and/or living will legal zoom is a big one but I don't know anything personally about the quality of doing them yourself vs using an attorney. A lot of lawyers will do a free initial consultation if you wanted to find out a ballpark cost using a lawyer in your area.", "Check your state government’s website, specifically the Attorney General’s portion. It should tell you what is required and may even have downloadable forms.\n", "We provide guided step-by-step Will, Living Will, and your Power of Attorney as a downloaded .docx file - for $10. Give us a look, www.doityourselfwill.com", "I've found some forms online and some are around $30 (legalzoom). \n\nAre the free ones as binding as those you pay for?" ]

[ 6, 3, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to live off campus early? Hey Reddit, I'm currently attending a state university, but can hardly afford the dorms (in them this semester). I'm 20 years old, and will have 44 cr", "How to live off campus early? Hey Reddit, I'm currently attending a state university, but can hardly afford the dorms (in them this semester). I'm 20 years old, and will have 44 cr", "How to live off campus early? Hey Reddit, I'm currently attending a state university, but can hardly afford the dorms (in them this semester). I'm 20 years old, and will have 44 cr", "How to live off campus early? Hey Reddit, I'm currently attending a state university, but can hardly afford the dorms (in them this semester). I'm 20 years old, and will have 44 cr" ]

[ "I don't believe a university would require a student to live on campus. So your saying no underclassmen are allowed to live at home? What about adult students that are married with families? They are required to live in a dorm? \n ", "Try the subreddit for your university. But other than that try contacting the financial aid office and explain the situation.", "Hi friend! Both me and my ex did this. I went to my family doctor and said I was having anxiety from living in such close proximity with others and that it was affecting my grades. He wrote me a note and I took it down to the university's office of disability services and they broke my housing contract. \n\nMy ex's mom lived 30 miles away and she claimed that she was going to go live with her. \n\nIf you've ever had any issues with ADHD, anxiety, or depression, just talk to your psychologist or psychiatrist and they'll write you a note. If you can't get a note, go to a counselor on campus and make a HUGE deal out of it. Say you can't sleep at night and you worry all day and that living on campus is too stressful. Act like it seriously hinders your education to be living on campus. \n\nI've helped a few other people do this, so if you have any questions or need help, let me know. ", "Here is what I did (I don't think that UCF requires people to live on campus though). I got my AA degree from Seminole State College, 61 cr" ]

[ 5, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to get rid of black spots in vision from low blood pressure. I have low blood pressure, and sometimes when I get up too fast, I feel dizzy and my vision is clouded for a while. Once in a while, I get black \"spots\" in my vision that last for various amounts of time. The \"spots\" could be likened to staring at something bright for a while and then looking at something else. Anyone else?", "How to get rid of black spots in vision from low blood pressure. I have low blood pressure, and sometimes when I get up too fast, I feel dizzy and my vision is clouded for a while. Once in a while, I get black \"spots\" in my vision that last for various amounts of time. The \"spots\" could be likened to staring at something bright for a while and then looking at something else. Anyone else?" ]

[ "If your heart doesn't speed up enough over 10 seconds or less to make these go away you should probably talk to a doctor.\n\nDrink more water, possibly eat some salt as well. This will raise your bp somewhat.\n\nFlex your abs, quads, glutes (any large muscle groups) before standing up, dual benefit of increasing heart rate and helping blood return to the heart.", "You might have dry eyes which may have nothing to do with your low blood pressure. The Dizzy part doesn't usually come with that, but the staring at something bright for a while then something else is definately a symptom of dry eyes.\n\nIt's particularly more noticeable after staring at a TV/Monitor for a while. Does it go away a bit with rapid blinking, but then sometimes come back with a random blink? Does it tend to be worse when you first wake up in the morning?\n\nTry lubricating eye drops if it seems like you have some/all of the other symptoms. I ended up with Systane after trying a few others. Others I would have to use far too frequently. The knock offs of Systane (store/generic brand) do seem to work just as well - but they all have terrible 'droppers'. It seemed like the droppers would always drop 3 drops or 1/2 a drop and never the 1-2 drops I needed.\n\nThat being said, you might try cheaper brands first. Systane is a fortune - get it at costco for a multi pack discount." ]

[ 3, 1 ]

[ "Best way to keep out the miscellaneous creepy crawlies. I live alone in an apartment, I'm pretty busy and I don't have too much time to be deep cleaning on a regular basis, but I keep the house pretty clean in general and I get a professional cleaner every couple months to clean out anything I've missed. \n\nLuckily for me, I live in one of those new age apartment buildings that are made entirely of concrete, so cockroaches (ew) and rats (urgh) are never a problem for me. \n\nUnfortunately for me, my apartment seems to be constantly infested with tiny little creepy crawly things. I generally can't identify them, though I know some of them are silverfish and I occasionally get lady bugs too. They're not a huge problem, but it's still unsettling and I can't seem to figure out where they're coming in from (probably the windows, I live on the second floor). I have a couple of spiders in the apartment and I allow them to hang out, since I don't hate spiders and I figure they'd eat some of the bugs, but my method of spider pest control is less effective than I'd like. Any thoughts on general pest control? Do any of those plug-in sound emitting devices work?", "Best way to keep out the miscellaneous creepy crawlies. I live alone in an apartment, I'm pretty busy and I don't have too much time to be deep cleaning on a regular basis, but I keep the house pretty clean in general and I get a professional cleaner every couple months to clean out anything I've missed. \n\nLuckily for me, I live in one of those new age apartment buildings that are made entirely of concrete, so cockroaches (ew) and rats (urgh) are never a problem for me. \n\nUnfortunately for me, my apartment seems to be constantly infested with tiny little creepy crawly things. I generally can't identify them, though I know some of them are silverfish and I occasionally get lady bugs too. They're not a huge problem, but it's still unsettling and I can't seem to figure out where they're coming in from (probably the windows, I live on the second floor). I have a couple of spiders in the apartment and I allow them to hang out, since I don't hate spiders and I figure they'd eat some of the bugs, but my method of spider pest control is less effective than I'd like. Any thoughts on general pest control? Do any of those plug-in sound emitting devices work?" ]

[ "Rape one. Honestly. Forcefully. Find that spider and drag his ass out in front of all his friends and spread his asscheecks with the force of Neptune himself. Make eye contact with as many bugs in the room as you can as you finish. They will fuck right off after that", "I too, hate all manner of creepy crawlies. Even lady bugs - they're too unpredictable. \n\nFirst, if you are on a low floor, close your windows - AC is your friend. \n\nDon't ever let spiders hang out. THEY MULTIPLY. Like crazy. When you see them, scoop them up and take them out side. \n\nLady bugs are trickier. They fly, but same as with spiders, capture and release outside. Scoop them\nLightly in tissue first, so they can't fly away. \n\nSilver fish are so creepy. Put double sided tape down in the bathroom (I'm guessing that's where they are) especially around the toilet, and they'll get stuck on that. Then throw that shit out and repeat until they're gone. \n" ]

[ 10, 1 ]

[ "How to start studying? I haven't studied for anything before and im not sure how to start. Im 1 year away from doing GCSE's and while my grades are decent, i'd like to make them better, but as i said in the title i have no idea how or where to begin.", "How to start studying? I haven't studied for anything before and im not sure how to start. Im 1 year away from doing GCSE's and while my grades are decent, i'd like to make them better, but as i said in the title i have no idea how or where to begin.", "How to start studying? I haven't studied for anything before and im not sure how to start. Im 1 year away from doing GCSE's and while my grades are decent, i'd like to make them better, but as i said in the title i have no idea how or where to begin.", "How to start studying? I haven't studied for anything before and im not sure how to start. Im 1 year away from doing GCSE's and while my grades are decent, i'd like to make them better, but as i said in the title i have no idea how or where to begin.", "How to start studying? I haven't studied for anything before and im not sure how to start. Im 1 year away from doing GCSE's and while my grades are decent, i'd like to make them better, but as i said in the title i have no idea how or where to begin.", "How to start studying? I haven't studied for anything before and im not sure how to start. Im 1 year away from doing GCSE's and while my grades are decent, i'd like to make them better, but as i said in the title i have no idea how or where to begin." ]

[ "Reading your notes out loud like you're explaining the subject to someone else always helped me. Any time I struggled to explain I'd look into that part more until I had a better understanding.", "I have so much advice depending on what you're looking for. I'll just generalize for now. First, get a weekly planner and block out time periods that you will be studying. During the session, there is something called the \"pomodoro technique\" that many people have found effective in time management.\nAs far as the actual studying goes, first scan the chapter and get a general outline of the material. Then read a passage and write down a question about that passage. For example if the book says that an average adults needs 7 hours of sleep, write in your notes, \"How many hours of sleep does an average adult need?\" I usually write the question and then make a column on the far right with the answer so I can quiz myself. You basically end up writing your own tests. \n\nAs far as memorization goes, the mind remembers things that are outrageous. For example, in chemistry we needed to memorize polyatomic ions and their charges. So for something called a carbonate ion that is written as CO3 2- my teacher drew a car (CARbonate) with 3 wheels for the O3 and 2 little puffs of smoke coming out of the tailpipe for the 2- charge. You can write amazing esoteric stories to remember the strangest facts. This technique takes time, but will cement it in your memory forever.", "I’ll share two strategies that work for me:\n\nFirst step watch this video:\nhttps://youtu.be/nqYmmZKY4sA\n\nBottom-up approach\n- look at the syllabus and identify the main concepts and break them into groups\n- gloss over the typical questions from each group\n- if you have a hard time understanding, it means you need to study that. Use the video method to focus on what you need to learn\n- once you’ve studied do a mock exam and score it\n- identify what topics you still need work\n- repeat\n\nBrute force approach\n- dive straight into the mock exam and brute force it. Whatever you get wrong figure out why you got it wrong\n\nEither way, whenever you do mock use test conditions. It’s better to know what you don’t know than to trick yourself into believing you are better prepared than you really are", "Studying toimprove retention is a life skill that takes a little work to get right, i didnt have to study anything until university and it was a total shitfight for about 6 months..\n\nThe first step is to identify a note taking method that will work for you. I use the cornell method or mind mapping to keep things organised. https://www.connectionsacademy.com/support/resources/article/3-tips-effective-note-taking-methods has a good explanation of these.\n\nThe next step is to identify how your brain likes to learn information.. i love stories or patterns but suck with dates or high level mathematics.\n\nOnce you know that your brain does well and badly you can create a stdy plan. I generally allocate many small blocks for the things i am bad at and longer blocks for the things i enjoy.. for example i might do 3x 20m of maths, with a 10m break between each block, followed by an hour of sketching and then spend 20m retesting tbe maths i completed. Then i woukd spend 20m planning out an english essay and after a break, spend the next 40m looking for quotes in the book. So in one afternoon i have covered my two best subjects and my worst one.\n\nA really important skill to develop is the self test.. you cannot know if your study is effective without testing your understanding. So when you are doing your math homework, copy one of each type of probem onto two testing sheets, do one of then at the end of your daily study and save one to do at the end of the week. Same with vocab words for your language, specific dates for history, types of elements etc. \n\nI hope this helps and that you can find a system that works for you, its ok to start slow, as long as you are consistent you will improve!", "JUST MAKE SURE YOU THAT YOU DO NOT GO BY A WORD THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. As that is the reason why someone doest understand and doesnt like a subject.", "For me, after a evening walk with my dog.to clear my head, I'd sit down with my phone on silent and just read over my notes outloud. Just for a hour or so." ]

[ 4, 4, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ " I am looking for advice covering all aspects of asking for a pay rise. Timing, place, whether to ask for an amount etc etc.\n\nAny advice greatly appreciated!!", " I am looking for advice covering all aspects of asking for a pay rise. Timing, place, whether to ask for an amount etc etc.\n\nAny advice greatly appreciated!!", " I am looking for advice covering all aspects of asking for a pay rise. Timing, place, whether to ask for an amount etc etc.\n\nAny advice greatly appreciated!!" ]

[ "Look up a few topics on it in business insider, bloomberg, wall street journal all have solid articles on this topic by professionals much better suited than most reddit users. No offense fellow redditors, but to answer your question here are a few tips;\nFind your value, research your position and see where others are getting paid and compare your responsibilities to theirs. A good tool is glassdoor. Next is to evaluaute your recent work and see if you have met deadlines, recieved praise, and added value to the company. Write down recent achievements and successful work and present it at your next meeting or evaluation as examples of why you bring value. Next is to be open, honest, and sincere. Tell your boss you want a raise and tell him your desired benchmark and ask how long it would take you to get there based on your current pay. Doing it with a positive and nondemanding attitude is 100x better than feeling like you have to leverage quitting which never works be the way because it may create short term results but it creates a bad relation with your boss that will hurt future promotions. Thats all i got, sometines a company cant afford a raise and that may lead to looking for a new job hope it all goes well.", "Be very prepared in laying out what you have done to merit a payrise, take in statistics or examples. Also say how you plan to improve and what you can bring to the business in future. Research what similar roles elsewhere pay to show what the current market is like.", "You have to value yourself and prove that you are worth the raise. I read an article that if you have a good reason for a pay raise it's best to just ask for one. You have to consider the downtime of losing a valuable asset, the search to find a competent replacement, the interview process itself, the training and hopefully the replacement works out. A good tactic is to know your companie's biggest competitors and find out their wage scales. Other thing you can do is ask for growth. Say you have been here X amount of years and you feel like you are ready for more responsibilities. Inquire about possible retirements for those ahead of you and if you would be considered for those positions in the near future" ]

[ 10, 3, 1 ]

[ "Get a Degree in IT for 4 years? Or For 2 Years? I think about pursuing a career into UI Design or UX design in the future and Im going for a new Major called Human Centered Design and Development. It requires 4 years But the standard IT degree I can get an associates in. In the long run i will be in student debt and honestly already having alot of issues right now which is going to affect my overall cr", "Get a Degree in IT for 4 years? Or For 2 Years? I think about pursuing a career into UI Design or UX design in the future and Im going for a new Major called Human Centered Design and Development. It requires 4 years But the standard IT degree I can get an associates in. In the long run i will be in student debt and honestly already having alot of issues right now which is going to affect my overall cr", "Get a Degree in IT for 4 years? Or For 2 Years? I think about pursuing a career into UI Design or UX design in the future and Im going for a new Major called Human Centered Design and Development. It requires 4 years But the standard IT degree I can get an associates in. In the long run i will be in student debt and honestly already having alot of issues right now which is going to affect my overall cr" ]

[ "I’m looking to hire a human centered design person now. Need for the position is growing. \n\nGet a 2 year, put yourself in the market, get a job, have the employer pay for the next 2 years.", "Obviously, an Associates degree will get you out in the workforce faster and allow you to start earning, but without a 4 year degree your chances of being promoted into management are pretty slim.", "Go on LinkedIn and look for the major/name of the associate program. See what people with both programs are doing now. Choose based on which allows you to go higher - not faster but higher. Aka check how many are managers, directors, executives etc." ]

[ 5, 2, 1 ]

[ "how do you train yourself to not indulge in something to excess? How do you stop yourself from going too far with something that, in moderation, is relatively harmless, but in excess is bad for you, possibly even fatal? \n\nThings like drugs, alcohol, eating, etc.", "how do you train yourself to not indulge in something to excess? How do you stop yourself from going too far with something that, in moderation, is relatively harmless, but in excess is bad for you, possibly even fatal? \n\nThings like drugs, alcohol, eating, etc.", "how do you train yourself to not indulge in something to excess? How do you stop yourself from going too far with something that, in moderation, is relatively harmless, but in excess is bad for you, possibly even fatal? \n\nThings like drugs, alcohol, eating, etc.", "how do you train yourself to not indulge in something to excess? How do you stop yourself from going too far with something that, in moderation, is relatively harmless, but in excess is bad for you, possibly even fatal? \n\nThings like drugs, alcohol, eating, etc.", "how do you train yourself to not indulge in something to excess? How do you stop yourself from going too far with something that, in moderation, is relatively harmless, but in excess is bad for you, possibly even fatal? \n\nThings like drugs, alcohol, eating, etc.", "how do you train yourself to not indulge in something to excess? How do you stop yourself from going too far with something that, in moderation, is relatively harmless, but in excess is bad for you, possibly even fatal? \n\nThings like drugs, alcohol, eating, etc.", "how do you train yourself to not indulge in something to excess? How do you stop yourself from going too far with something that, in moderation, is relatively harmless, but in excess is bad for you, possibly even fatal? \n\nThings like drugs, alcohol, eating, etc." ]

[ "Cultivate self discipline. Success in anything and everything is down to effort. EFFORT. Cultivate a willingness to delay gratification. Be willing to experience discomfort or longing. Learn to sit with less pleasant feelings and thoughts. They are only feelings. They are only thoughts. Decide not what a specific goal is for your eating or drug use. Rather, decide/discover what your values are. Make choices that are consistent with your values. This is a broader and more positive target than focusing on problems. So you value health? Make choices that are in line with health because you value it - not because you are trying to avoid some negative outcome. ", "For food or soda I drink a big glass of water before indulging. My craving is either satisfied or I feel too sick from gulping water. \n\nMaybe it'll work for heroin too!", "I just became more mature. \nI realized that I needed to end my love affair with marijuana after 15 years of heavy usage. \nIt wasn't fun anymore. \n\nBut I will say that I also grew up with parents that always preached about keeping things simple, not having too much, learning to live with what you have, too much of anything can be bad. Minimalists before it was cool. \n\nAnd I went from have some of those qualities as a kid. Then indulging in my early twenties. And then by the time I hit 23-24 I turned into my parents. And I couldn't relate to my friends that had remaining cr", "For me it's distraction. I'm a recovering addict from drugs and alcohol.\n\nIn 2010 I decided enough was enough, and forced myself to get into positive things to be addicted to instead of the bad things. Took up bodybuilding and nutrition-focused diet. Researched the hell out of both to learn, and get obsessed.\n\nI learned to LOVE lifting at the gym. The endorphin rush, seeing real progress over time, etc. The inertia flywheel of all that keeps me going and keeps me out of trouble. It's a good fit for me because I love to eat BIG as well, when done sensibly.\n\nI figure, my brain is going to find something to glom onto and get addicted to. Might as well be something positive/proactive rather than negative/destructive.\n\nMy friends say I've \"had a 2.0\". Works for me.", "The convenient thing about alcohol and recreational drugs is that, unlike eating, you can stop entirely. For a lot of people, myself included, it's an all-or-nothing thing, meaning the only way to not go overboard is to not take the first drink or hit. Eating disorders are more complicated; people need to eat every day. Sex addictions are it tough, too; people can get back into their problematic habits just by indulging a line of thinking.", "Firstly, the concept of \"moderation\" is ambiguous. I wanted to link you to a study, but I can't track it down so this video will have to serve as a proxy: http://www.rochesterfirst.com/news/local-news/study-says-moderation-not-best-option/653905310\nBasically, moderation is different for everyone and isn't an empirical marker for how much of something you should consume or do. If you want to avoid excess, you need to have incentive, reasons, not to. It could be for health, or performance, for aesthetics, children; whatever. The only thing that's going to interrupt a pattern of indulgence is a good reason not to indulge, and those reasons need to come from your mind. Know the empirical data on what constitutes proper eating, or the dangers of drug and alcohol use. \"Should I get drunk tonight? Nah, I want to get up and exercise, read, and not be hungover. Well, maybe I could just have a few drinks; moderation. Buuut I'm also trying to dodge cancer and the litany of alcohol induced ailements (http://nutritionstudies.org/alcohol-16-reasons-to-rethink-your-drink), so maybe I'll just have one...\"\nSo essentially you have to be your own buzzkill haha, but there's joy and satisfaction in sticking to your guns, and doing the right thing. ", "I deal with this, too.\n\nIf you find yourself going for a \"quick fix,\" take a walk to clear your mind. If you still can't stop thinking about it, get together with friends.\n\nBuild up momentum doing good things, like exercise or a project or being with friends. Once you get over the initial hump of getting going on one of those things, you get in a groove and it's easier to keep going.\n\nIt also helps to have friends that aren't going to try to persuade you to do the thing you're trying to stop." ]

[ 35, 19, 8, 3, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "How to keep the corners of your rug from curling upward Does anyone have any tips/tricks to keep the corners of a rug from curling up? I have tried putting weights on the corners for multiple days, but it has not helped. Help please!\n\nThank you :]\n\n", "How to keep the corners of your rug from curling upward Does anyone have any tips/tricks to keep the corners of a rug from curling up? I have tried putting weights on the corners for multiple days, but it has not helped. Help please!\n\nThank you :]\n\n", "How to keep the corners of your rug from curling upward Does anyone have any tips/tricks to keep the corners of a rug from curling up? I have tried putting weights on the corners for multiple days, but it has not helped. Help please!\n\nThank you :]\n\n", "How to keep the corners of your rug from curling upward Does anyone have any tips/tricks to keep the corners of a rug from curling up? I have tried putting weights on the corners for multiple days, but it has not helped. Help please!\n\nThank you :]\n\n" ]

[ "When the rug is new, buy 2 of those cheapy squares of linoleum that have a sticky back. Cut them in half diagonally so you now have 4 triangles. Turn them upside down and stick them to the bottom of each corner. You may be able to do this on an older rug where the corners are already curled if you put your weights on them for a few days.", "Double sided velcro. Depending on the rug, you can either get 1 side adhesive and put that on the bottom of the rug, then let the hook side hold the carpet. If the bottom of the rug is fuzzy, just stick two pieces to each other. ", "If yours is already up perhaps try using a clothing iron to flatten it. This is purely theoretical though", "What kind of floor is it on? If it is wood/tile, then you need something sticky to hold it down. Most stores will have this (Target, Walmart, etc). If it is on carpet, there is not much you can do about it.\n\nIf the corners are already curled up, the best possible way to flatten it, will be to bend the rug the opposite direction. Meaning find the center where the rug is curling and curl it the opposite way and press hard (almost to create a new crease yourself). It might create a tiny bump a few inches from the corner, but that will flatten out fast (1 hour to a whole day).\n\nSource: I work in a furniture store, where we deal with this stuff all day every day." ]

[ 6, 3, 2, 1 ]

[ "How to know when it's time to come out of the closet. How do you know when it's time? Is losing sleep for months a good indication? Is timing important? I have kids...maybe I could wait until their out of the house?", "How to know when it's time to come out of the closet. How do you know when it's time? Is losing sleep for months a good indication? Is timing important? I have kids...maybe I could wait until their out of the house?", "How to know when it's time to come out of the closet. How do you know when it's time? Is losing sleep for months a good indication? Is timing important? I have kids...maybe I could wait until their out of the house?" ]

[ "This is gonna sound like a pat answer, but \"It's time when you feel it's time.\" \n\nYou're really the only one that can answer your own question because you're the one that's living with the consequences and stress of having a hidden life versus sharing that you have a non-traditional sexual preference, whatever it is, and dealing with whatever changes in your marital status or parenting process or friendships or relationships with your family that coming out will incur.\n\nAsk yourself what happens if you do announce, and what you will do next once it's known.", "It sounds like it's time. If you're losing sleep, you need to change something, and keeping a secret like that is stressful. Tell your kids: they probably won't care, and it will help give them the courage to come out if they're ever in your shoes. Tell a few people you're close with, and they'll support you coming out all the way. People might be surprised at first, but you need to be able to be yourself!", "Can you support yourself if you are prepared to cut your ties with everyone you know? Extreme but this is what I had to personally consider. So for me it was age of 17." ]

[ 3, 2, 1 ]

[ "I accidentally washed a load of whites with a sharpie colored shirt, and now the whole load came out pink... https://imgur.com/a/dHqdz\n\nHello all. Well TIFU and accidentally threw in a white t shirt that had a lot of sharpie on it from beer olympics last week into a load of whites. The red sharpie turned just about everything in the load a dull pink (although weirdly not everything). See above pictures. Wife should be happy when she finds out.\n\nAnyways, I haven't dried anything, is there a product that will hopefully remove the pink? I have oxyclean powder, vinegar, maybe bleach? Does anyone have a LPT?\n", "I accidentally washed a load of whites with a sharpie colored shirt, and now the whole load came out pink... https://imgur.com/a/dHqdz\n\nHello all. Well TIFU and accidentally threw in a white t shirt that had a lot of sharpie on it from beer olympics last week into a load of whites. The red sharpie turned just about everything in the load a dull pink (although weirdly not everything). See above pictures. Wife should be happy when she finds out.\n\nAnyways, I haven't dried anything, is there a product that will hopefully remove the pink? I have oxyclean powder, vinegar, maybe bleach? Does anyone have a LPT?\n", "I accidentally washed a load of whites with a sharpie colored shirt, and now the whole load came out pink... https://imgur.com/a/dHqdz\n\nHello all. Well TIFU and accidentally threw in a white t shirt that had a lot of sharpie on it from beer olympics last week into a load of whites. The red sharpie turned just about everything in the load a dull pink (although weirdly not everything). See above pictures. Wife should be happy when she finds out.\n\nAnyways, I haven't dried anything, is there a product that will hopefully remove the pink? I have oxyclean powder, vinegar, maybe bleach? Does anyone have a LPT?\n", "I accidentally washed a load of whites with a sharpie colored shirt, and now the whole load came out pink... https://imgur.com/a/dHqdz\n\nHello all. Well TIFU and accidentally threw in a white t shirt that had a lot of sharpie on it from beer olympics last week into a load of whites. The red sharpie turned just about everything in the load a dull pink (although weirdly not everything). See above pictures. Wife should be happy when she finds out.\n\nAnyways, I haven't dried anything, is there a product that will hopefully remove the pink? I have oxyclean powder, vinegar, maybe bleach? Does anyone have a LPT?\n", "I accidentally washed a load of whites with a sharpie colored shirt, and now the whole load came out pink... https://imgur.com/a/dHqdz\n\nHello all. Well TIFU and accidentally threw in a white t shirt that had a lot of sharpie on it from beer olympics last week into a load of whites. The red sharpie turned just about everything in the load a dull pink (although weirdly not everything). See above pictures. Wife should be happy when she finds out.\n\nAnyways, I haven't dried anything, is there a product that will hopefully remove the pink? I have oxyclean powder, vinegar, maybe bleach? Does anyone have a LPT?\n" ]

[ "I have a friend who swears by hydrogen peroxide and Dawn. I haven't tried it with color bleed, but I've tried it on other stains. The basic idea is to fill up a tub of some type (or your washer, I suppose) with water and hydrogen peroxide, and a little Dawn dish soap, and let the items soak. After a while, rinse and repeat, until the stain is removed. I'd just caution you to mix up the peroxide/ water/ Dawn solution BEFORE applying it to clothing/ BEFORE dunking clothing in it. Dawn applied directly to the clothing might leave a blue stain of its own.", "[hmmmm....](https://userscontent2.emaze.com/images/15711bbb-bbf3-4753-88ad-550b3eaee0e3/468dcbdfe9abbe5f85aafd79b0cb13be.png)", "No LPT but I had something similar recently happen to me: \n\nI washed my bedspread and after I took it out of the washing machine, I discovered that a pen was wrapped in it. Bedspread had a fairly big blue ink stain . Ugh!", "Goodwill or Salvation Army are two good options. Plus, you can pick up some replacements after your donation. ", "Well, I know that if you write with a sharpie on a whiteboard, and it's permanently on there, then you can go over it with a whiteboard marker and that dissolves the sharpie and you can then erase it.\nSo whatever is the solvent in the whiteboard marker is what you need. If you could buy a gallon of that, you could probably soak the individual items in a bucket of that solvent and then wash the pink out. Well, that would be my guess anyway." ]

[ 5, 1, 1, 1, 0 ]

[ "how to get rid of mice in the house. Central US. For the first time in 20 years I have mice in the house. I'm looking for the best methods to get rid of them and prevent future infestations. If that means calling an expert I'm ok with that but I want to hear other's experiences.\n\n", "how to get rid of mice in the house. Central US. For the first time in 20 years I have mice in the house. I'm looking for the best methods to get rid of them and prevent future infestations. If that means calling an expert I'm ok with that but I want to hear other's experiences.\n\n", "how to get rid of mice in the house. Central US. For the first time in 20 years I have mice in the house. I'm looking for the best methods to get rid of them and prevent future infestations. If that means calling an expert I'm ok with that but I want to hear other's experiences.\n\n", "how to get rid of mice in the house. Central US. For the first time in 20 years I have mice in the house. I'm looking for the best methods to get rid of them and prevent future infestations. If that means calling an expert I'm ok with that but I want to hear other's experiences.\n\n", "how to get rid of mice in the house. Central US. For the first time in 20 years I have mice in the house. I'm looking for the best methods to get rid of them and prevent future infestations. If that means calling an expert I'm ok with that but I want to hear other's experiences.\n\n", "how to get rid of mice in the house. Central US. For the first time in 20 years I have mice in the house. I'm looking for the best methods to get rid of them and prevent future infestations. If that means calling an expert I'm ok with that but I want to hear other's experiences.\n\n", "how to get rid of mice in the house. Central US. For the first time in 20 years I have mice in the house. I'm looking for the best methods to get rid of them and prevent future infestations. If that means calling an expert I'm ok with that but I want to hear other's experiences.\n\n" ]

[ "I worked with a pest control company and honestly you can do some of the same things the professionals do but much cheaper. It’s about exclusion and trapping. Find areas where they are getting in (this could be through the attic, holes in the exterior walls, vents, basically anyway they can get inside), google exclusion materials because you specifically need things they can’t chew through. For larger areas I believe the company I worked for used a steel wire grid, smaller areas were stuffed with steel wool. If you have any trees surrounding your home then you need to trim branches so they are not hanging near your roof/attic areas. Absolutely do not use poison, not only is it unsafe for children and pets but when the mice start dying they go where they feel safe which is usually a wall void or not somewhere easily accessible which will STINK and be an even bigger pain to take care of. Use traps that close them in and put the food in but don’t set the trap. Once they grab food from there a couple of times they will see this as a safe food source, then actually set the trap with the bait and you will catch them. Get a few traps and place them in multiple areas (attics, garage), keep doing this until they are gone. If you have had them for a awhile I recommend looking into sanitation services, mice and rats don’t have bladder control so they will urinate and defecate as they run all over your house. If you find this doesn’t help then you may need to reach out to professionals but it will be expensive and they will do extremely similar things.", "Two things that worked for me was cleaning up after myself - not leaving anything that's edible lying around, and the peanut butter-roller-bucket trap.\n\nYou suspend a peanut butter-covered pop can over a bucket that's filled with 4 to 5 inches of water and lead a trail or plank to the can. I used a metal coat hanger and drooled some holes then fed the wire. Took about three days to catch five mice. I left it up an extra week and haven't seen any mice for months now.\n\nAlso, when dealing with mice, there is a particular breed of deer mice that's prone to being a carrier of hantavirus so I'll suggest you find out if you live where they do and take appropriate measures.", "I know lots of people warn against using poison but I've used it twice now to get rid of rats / mice and I've never had the stink problem people warn about. It was the only thing that was effective for me. They never went for the traps or were able to pull the bait off it, or the bait would get hard and trigger the trap by itself.\n\nI've since went out and bought a live-capture trap. It's designed to be impossible to get the bait and escape the trap. I used it for a squirrel. Just make sure to check it very often.", "We got mice once and set out about 5 traps around the house and baited them with peanut butter. After a while we quit catching any and stopped seeing any signs of them.", "Place traps in choke points. Behind the fridge, table appliances, freestanding furniture. Basically any place hugging a wall. Mice have poor vision and use walls to guide themselves. Also, no food anywhere outside of eating areas and clean during meal prep or right after eating.", "Mice (and rats) can squeeze through incredibly tiny spaces.\n\nLook carefully for points of entry and stuff them with #1 size steel wool.\n\nStore food in impervious containers such as Mason jars and plastic tubs. Yes, they can gnaw through plastic, so keep an eye on that.\n\nTrap them. Black Kat makes traps that are much easier to set than the old fashioned kind.\n\nClean your house thoroughly.\n\nLook through all your stuff for their food stashes I once lived in a duplex where a mouse took big nuggets of dry dog food from the kitchen next door and filled up a work boot with.it in my attic.\n\nYou may find a nest in a box of old clothes, for example \n\nLook for mouse turds to see where they are going.\n\nListen for them at night scrambling around and gnawing \n\nRats and mice hate peppermint. You can buy a quart of peppermint oil for about forty bucks. Pick up an irrigation syringe at your local pharmacy\n\nOnce you figure out where they are, inject peppermint oil there. You can drill a small hole in the wall and squirt it in. Plug the hole with lightweight spackle like Fast and Final.\n\nGood luck. After I had a French drain installed in my cellar, sewer rats dug under my foundation and over ran the place. The contractor left a small gap between the edge of the floor and the rubblestone foundation so that any water that seeped through the wall wouldn't run over the floor.\n\n One three day weekend I trapped eleven of them. Once I located all their points of entry and cemented them over, they stopped getting in the house.\n\nGood luck.", "As mentioned by other people here: exclusion is going to be the best 'first-step forward'. You'll want/need to do a full perimeter check of your living space. Most mice can squeeze through a space that is close to the size of a nickel (or smaller! 😬)\n\nYou'll need to do a critical check of possible entry points. Pet doors that do not close flush, a screen door with a frayed corner, even a garage or side/rear-entry door that doesn't have draft protection can provide ample entry access for the little buggers.\n\n**Strong** fine mesh metal patching is a great start if there are any access points through the natural foundation or siding of your home. Keeping doors closed, and ensuring they sit/ride flush with the housing is a huge step.\n\nOnce you feel confident no more rodents will have access to the property, it then becomes an issue of making sure each 'indoor' trespasser is taken care of (because now you will have sealed any exit points to which they previously had access). In my experience in the rodent control and exclusion field, I very strongly encourage trapping over poisoning. A deceased mouse or rat in the bowels or internal parts of your house can make the entire residence uninhabitable, depending on circumstances. \n\nGlue traps can be great, traditional snap-traps and jaw-traps can be incredibly effective, and there is a huge variety of synthetic and natural baits. (As mentioned elsewhere, peanut butter is a super-effective option that is very wallet friendly.) \n\nAside from this, it is good to take a step back and analyze (take a third person perspective), why did this infestation begin? Remove woodpiles or anything of the sort from the side of your property. Make sure you maintain a clean household. Do not leave food waste or crumbs unattended. Don't leave pet food out for too long (indoors or outdoors). \n\nOnce you get rid of the initial issues, you want to make sure you're staying on top of not allowing it to happen again." ]

[ 9, 5, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to not smear pen when writing in ink Most of the time when I write in pen, my ring &amp; little finger smear the ink when I go to another line. This makes taking notes and assignments rather messy, and I want to change it by next semester.\n\nAny tips?\n\n", "How to not smear pen when writing in ink Most of the time when I write in pen, my ring &amp; little finger smear the ink when I go to another line. This makes taking notes and assignments rather messy, and I want to change it by next semester.\n\nAny tips?\n\n", "How to not smear pen when writing in ink Most of the time when I write in pen, my ring &amp; little finger smear the ink when I go to another line. This makes taking notes and assignments rather messy, and I want to change it by next semester.\n\nAny tips?\n\n" ]

[ "I'm a lefty so I used to have a similar problem when I was younger, but the way I eventually got around it was by holding the pen(cil) a bit higher up (about 3 or 4 cm up from the tip) and also support my hand by having the wrist/lower hand in the table/paper rather than the pinky and ring finger.\n\nJust some images to clarify; [I used to write like this](http://i.imgur.com/HTICg03.jpg). Now [I write like this](http://i.imgur.com/W0zfuwM.jpg)\n\nIt's always fun to meet other lefties and see how they either have come up with their own methods or just don't give a damn that their hand gets all inky.\n\nAnyways, hope it helps.\n\n", "As a lefty, this had been a constant problem for me for years. I finally got a pen that not only writes well and dries quickly, but is comfortable to hold and doesn't smear all over my hand. The Zebra F-301. They're great, only pen I'll ever use now. ", "Turn the paper counter-clockwise about 30°. I write with quite a hook, so I ran into this a lot before. \n\nI'm betting that you also have a right hook, so when you write your hand slowly moves up the page. This makes it more legible and comfortable." ]

[ 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "How do I fight/prevent sudden sadness? Sometimes, like today, I'm sad for no discernible reason. What are some things I can do to help make me feel better?", "How do I fight/prevent sudden sadness? Sometimes, like today, I'm sad for no discernible reason. What are some things I can do to help make me feel better?", "How do I fight/prevent sudden sadness? Sometimes, like today, I'm sad for no discernible reason. What are some things I can do to help make me feel better?", "How do I fight/prevent sudden sadness? Sometimes, like today, I'm sad for no discernible reason. What are some things I can do to help make me feel better?", "How do I fight/prevent sudden sadness? Sometimes, like today, I'm sad for no discernible reason. What are some things I can do to help make me feel better?" ]

[ "Keep a list of things that make you happy readily accessible, for example: \n\n* bookmarking /r/aww on your computer\n* having a photo album of pictures that mean a lot to you personally on your phone\n* having a group of contacts on speedial to chat with them \n* music. \n\nThe key is interrupting your sad feeling with something makes you happy, so that you can switch over to that mood and let go of your sadness. Otherwise you might end up reinforcing neutral things with a negative feeling, so be careful. ", "It is good to keep yourself in shape.\n\nIt is also good to have a hobby, that will help you clear up your mind (that will make you feel better in the end). I am looking into blacksmithing and leatherworking for example.\n\nAs a first aid, you can eat some chocolate, it stimulates production of serotonin. Which means it has to be real chocolate, not cheap stuff from store with chocolate flavour, you need decent portion of cocoa in there.\n\nIf you are often sad and depressed, dont be afraid to seek out professional help - preferably somebody who uses prescription meds AFTER everything else, not as a first option. Sickness of the mind is the same as sickness of the body. It deserves same attention and can end up just as bad if you do nothing about it.", "Senior psych major here:\n\nSadness is an emotion, acceptance is a huge thing, chances are that they will pass and it will just be another day. Think about the past week and how many times are you randomly sad or happy? Or bored? Or anxious? Etc... My guess is that you have had every emotion under the sun, but none of been so important that you kept them in your active memory. Chances are this sadness will pass and it is okay. Being Self-aware is a good thing, and if you really feel it is happening enough that you are worried for yourself, just talk to people. Doesn't have to be counselors or anything. Even just talk to friends without any expectations can be a nice boost. ", "This thread has been linked to from another place on reddit.\n\n\n- [/r/knowyourshit] [LPT Request: How do I fight/prevent sudden sadness? - LifeProTips](http://np.reddit.com/r/knowyourshit/comments/2y5tax/lpt_request_how_do_i_fightprevent_sudden_sadness/)\n\n\n*^If ^you ^follow ^any ^of ^the ^above ^links, ^respect ^the ^rules ^of ^reddit ^and ^don't ^vote. ^\\([Info](/r/TotesMessenger/wiki/) ^/ ^[Contact](/message/compose/?to=\\/r\\/TotesMessenger))* [](#bot)", "Manage your ups and you will inadvertently manage your downs. If you get over excited about something it will follow up with a spout of depression. " ]

[ 3, 2, 1, 0, -1 ]

[ "Is there a way to reheat french fries while keeping them soft? A restaurant gave me fries by accident but I don't want them now. But I hate taking french fries home because I either microwave them for a minute and they become hard as a rock, or a put them in the air fryer and they become super crispy! Is there anything I can do to keep my french fries soft when I reheat them? I'm a freak and I like my french fries as wet and limp as possible.", "Is there a way to reheat french fries while keeping them soft? A restaurant gave me fries by accident but I don't want them now. But I hate taking french fries home because I either microwave them for a minute and they become hard as a rock, or a put them in the air fryer and they become super crispy! Is there anything I can do to keep my french fries soft when I reheat them? I'm a freak and I like my french fries as wet and limp as possible.", "Is there a way to reheat french fries while keeping them soft? A restaurant gave me fries by accident but I don't want them now. But I hate taking french fries home because I either microwave them for a minute and they become hard as a rock, or a put them in the air fryer and they become super crispy! Is there anything I can do to keep my french fries soft when I reheat them? I'm a freak and I like my french fries as wet and limp as possible.", "Is there a way to reheat french fries while keeping them soft? A restaurant gave me fries by accident but I don't want them now. But I hate taking french fries home because I either microwave them for a minute and they become hard as a rock, or a put them in the air fryer and they become super crispy! Is there anything I can do to keep my french fries soft when I reheat them? I'm a freak and I like my french fries as wet and limp as possible.", "Is there a way to reheat french fries while keeping them soft? A restaurant gave me fries by accident but I don't want them now. But I hate taking french fries home because I either microwave them for a minute and they become hard as a rock, or a put them in the air fryer and they become super crispy! Is there anything I can do to keep my french fries soft when I reheat them? I'm a freak and I like my french fries as wet and limp as possible.", "Is there a way to reheat french fries while keeping them soft? A restaurant gave me fries by accident but I don't want them now. But I hate taking french fries home because I either microwave them for a minute and they become hard as a rock, or a put them in the air fryer and they become super crispy! Is there anything I can do to keep my french fries soft when I reheat them? I'm a freak and I like my french fries as wet and limp as possible.", "Is there a way to reheat french fries while keeping them soft? A restaurant gave me fries by accident but I don't want them now. But I hate taking french fries home because I either microwave them for a minute and they become hard as a rock, or a put them in the air fryer and they become super crispy! Is there anything I can do to keep my french fries soft when I reheat them? I'm a freak and I like my french fries as wet and limp as possible." ]

[ "Wait. So you don't want crispy fries?\n\n....\n\nOkay. So for starters, you should be in jail. \n\nHowever, you can just throw them in the microwave for a bit less time with a glass of water next to them inside of the microwave as well.", "You already mentioned the life pro tip: throw old French fries in the air fryer \n\nWhat you're asking for is not a life pro tip. You want a Weird Niche Tip.", "Put them under the faucet and wet them, add salt, and throw them under the broiler or in the oven. it will be more like steaming...or you could steam them.", "Microwave them with a bowl over the top of the plate there on or a plate over the top of the bowl they are in, and if necessary sprinkle a little water in.\n\nOr if you are truly dedicated to the craft, got a steamer basket for a pot, and boil your choice of a half inch or 1 cm of water in the bottom of the pot, put the fries in the steamer basket, and put a lid on the steamer.", "I have never had reheated via microwave fries be crispy. You must be way overheating then. 15-30 seconds.", "Freeze them, run them under water, dry excess, cover with foil in the oven, reheat at 400°.\n\nThe water keeps the outside from getting overly crisp while the inside cooks normally.", "Buddy I got the perfect solution for you!\n\nYou want them wet and limp? Boil them.\n\nSure some might consider it a crime against humanity but it does sound like your not a big fan of fries and they'll get real wet and limp I'm sure. Especially if you boil or steam them for a minute I bet.\n\nIf they get hard when you're microwaving them it's the moisture leaking out." ]

[ 12, 4, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "best ways to improve your vocabulary for conversation? Aside from reading the dictionary, what are some great ways of expanding my vocabulary? What are some resources out there that steadily increases the words I'm familiar with in conversation? Similar resources online are a bonus!\n\nSites like freerice.com is great for definitions, but lacks an emphasis on incorporating the words into daily conversation. Learning new words AND learning how to use them *naturally* in all sorts of contexts is what I'm interested in. Anyone have any tips?", "best ways to improve your vocabulary for conversation? Aside from reading the dictionary, what are some great ways of expanding my vocabulary? What are some resources out there that steadily increases the words I'm familiar with in conversation? Similar resources online are a bonus!\n\nSites like freerice.com is great for definitions, but lacks an emphasis on incorporating the words into daily conversation. Learning new words AND learning how to use them *naturally* in all sorts of contexts is what I'm interested in. Anyone have any tips?", "best ways to improve your vocabulary for conversation? Aside from reading the dictionary, what are some great ways of expanding my vocabulary? What are some resources out there that steadily increases the words I'm familiar with in conversation? Similar resources online are a bonus!\n\nSites like freerice.com is great for definitions, but lacks an emphasis on incorporating the words into daily conversation. Learning new words AND learning how to use them *naturally* in all sorts of contexts is what I'm interested in. Anyone have any tips?" ]

[ "Saldy most people don't go out of their way to use big words.\n\nWhat I do is just get word of the days from:\n\n* http://www.merriam-webster.com/\n* http://wordsmith.org/awad/\n* http://french-word-a-day.com/\n", "as everyone else has said, reading books is the best way. i would highly recommend a kindle or nook, the built in dictionary is awesome. reading the definition in context with text helps retain the word, and it's helped me because when i come across a word i like i can highlight it, so now i have a whole list of new words along with the definitions to reflect on.", "Reading better books, books that challenge you a bit, but not too much, books that force you to pay attention to every syllable in the word, ever word in the sentence, every sentence on the page. Eventually you'll challenge yourself to reading harder and harder books. Easily Shakespearean will expand your vocabulary tenfold. " ]

[ 3, 2, 2 ]

[ "How can you have good/not smelly breath when you wake up in the morning? Usually when I wake up, I have a bad breath which is really uncomfortable and irritating for me. Despite brushing thoroughly the night before, my breath still smells bad. How do I avoid this?", "How can you have good/not smelly breath when you wake up in the morning? Usually when I wake up, I have a bad breath which is really uncomfortable and irritating for me. Despite brushing thoroughly the night before, my breath still smells bad. How do I avoid this?", "How can you have good/not smelly breath when you wake up in the morning? Usually when I wake up, I have a bad breath which is really uncomfortable and irritating for me. Despite brushing thoroughly the night before, my breath still smells bad. How do I avoid this?" ]

[ "More than likely this is a result of breathing through your mouth during sleep. This may be snoring or not, but could be allergies or even sleep apnea closing off your normal nasal breathing. I'd research your personal reasons as to why this may be happening.", "My bf is one of those unicorns who has nice breath in the morning. Like it doesn’t smell in the slightest, kissable breath. He brushes twice a day with a sonicare, he flosses at least twice a day, he uses some stuff for his gums that tastes like mango or something. I brush twice a day with my sonicare and I floss twice a day but my morning breath is still bleh. Maybe it’s partially genetic.", "Use a product called therabreath. Sold in Walgreens etc. You rinse with that and it kills the shit that causes bad breath." ]

[ 4, 3, 1 ]

[ "Drinking with upper management. I'm going to a sporting event with some people from my company and a lot of the higher ups will be in attendance. I do know that a lot of them like to party but I didn't know if there was a general rule of thumb for drinking with co workers. This will be a first for me. ", "Drinking with upper management. I'm going to a sporting event with some people from my company and a lot of the higher ups will be in attendance. I do know that a lot of them like to party but I didn't know if there was a general rule of thumb for drinking with co workers. This will be a first for me. ", "Drinking with upper management. I'm going to a sporting event with some people from my company and a lot of the higher ups will be in attendance. I do know that a lot of them like to party but I didn't know if there was a general rule of thumb for drinking with co workers. This will be a first for me. ", "Drinking with upper management. I'm going to a sporting event with some people from my company and a lot of the higher ups will be in attendance. I do know that a lot of them like to party but I didn't know if there was a general rule of thumb for drinking with co workers. This will be a first for me. ", "Drinking with upper management. I'm going to a sporting event with some people from my company and a lot of the higher ups will be in attendance. I do know that a lot of them like to party but I didn't know if there was a general rule of thumb for drinking with co workers. This will be a first for me. ", "Drinking with upper management. I'm going to a sporting event with some people from my company and a lot of the higher ups will be in attendance. I do know that a lot of them like to party but I didn't know if there was a general rule of thumb for drinking with co workers. This will be a first for me. ", "Drinking with upper management. I'm going to a sporting event with some people from my company and a lot of the higher ups will be in attendance. I do know that a lot of them like to party but I didn't know if there was a general rule of thumb for drinking with co workers. This will be a first for me. " ]

[ "Definitely do not get drunk. While it is a social event, so you can have fun, you are still in front of the higher ups. Do a lot of listening while asking relevant questions. They are perfectly aware you are on your guard and feeling out of place. My guess is that they will charm you to put you at your ease...most higher ups are either charming or narcissists (or both), so just let them take the lead. \n\nIf you want to fit in, act like you are with your friends, but someone's uptight mom (that you don't want to offend) is also there.", "In general, one way to get people to like you is to be like them. So, wait to start drinking until the \"higher ups\" start. Order the same types of drinks. Speak and act like they do. Bam, next CEO.", "Treat them like they are the parents of an SO you plan on marrying. You want to seem fun, relaxed, and cool, but very professional and a good person at the same time. I use this an example because it is a social drinking situation many people have been in", "Drink slowly. My trick is to get a wine or beer that I don't really like very much and just sip it. \n\nMostly, my advice is to smile a lot and have a great time. They will remember how you held yourself, and there's nothing wrong with them remembering that you seemed to really be enjoying the game, even if you drink super slow. \n\nCome prepared with some topics to talk about, even if you have to do a little research ahead of time... the team's history, new micro breweries in your area, and so on.", "Wine or beer only. No cocktails. Nurse that drink for the whole event. Never get drunk at an office event. It's like rolling on your back and showing your throat to the wolves.", "Unless drinks are being provided, usually small groups of coworkers take turns buying rounds. No one will tell you when its your turn, you just have to take it. Sometimes its difficult to take your turn because someone is always offering to pay for the round, but you should try to pay at some point. \n\nIf everyone is drinking, keep a drink in your hand and drink it slowly. You don't want to finish your drink before everyone else, feel free to sit out a round. If you think you'll be encouraged to stay later than you wanted or drink more than you're comfortable with, be ready with a reasonable excuse.", "Play follow the leader, if they drink, you drink. That being said don't get drunk. It's easy to leave your drink or spill your drink (or even dump it in a plant) it gives the appearance you are drinking while you are not, the last thing you want to do is throw up on the boss. Also, if you can drink what the boss drinks, it's a good conversation starter - this works as long as it's not really expensive booze (Johnny Blue/Glenlivet 21) because they'll know that's not your drink of choice because you are a poor working pee-on not a boss." ]

[ 12, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Learn to like new foods I've always been a pretty picky eater, not super picky, but I don't like vegetables a whole lot, and they aren't usually a part of my diet. I know this is bad, and I want to eat healthier, but I don't know where to start. I will occasionally eat a ceasar salad, but that's rare, and I really only like corn, carrots, and potatoes. I've tried things like broccoli, but it made me gag, and so I don't try new things a whole lot. I would like to have a healthier diet, so what are some tips I could use to try and learn to like healthier foods? ", "Learn to like new foods I've always been a pretty picky eater, not super picky, but I don't like vegetables a whole lot, and they aren't usually a part of my diet. I know this is bad, and I want to eat healthier, but I don't know where to start. I will occasionally eat a ceasar salad, but that's rare, and I really only like corn, carrots, and potatoes. I've tried things like broccoli, but it made me gag, and so I don't try new things a whole lot. I would like to have a healthier diet, so what are some tips I could use to try and learn to like healthier foods? ", "Learn to like new foods I've always been a pretty picky eater, not super picky, but I don't like vegetables a whole lot, and they aren't usually a part of my diet. I know this is bad, and I want to eat healthier, but I don't know where to start. I will occasionally eat a ceasar salad, but that's rare, and I really only like corn, carrots, and potatoes. I've tried things like broccoli, but it made me gag, and so I don't try new things a whole lot. I would like to have a healthier diet, so what are some tips I could use to try and learn to like healthier foods? ", "Learn to like new foods I've always been a pretty picky eater, not super picky, but I don't like vegetables a whole lot, and they aren't usually a part of my diet. I know this is bad, and I want to eat healthier, but I don't know where to start. I will occasionally eat a ceasar salad, but that's rare, and I really only like corn, carrots, and potatoes. I've tried things like broccoli, but it made me gag, and so I don't try new things a whole lot. I would like to have a healthier diet, so what are some tips I could use to try and learn to like healthier foods? ", "Learn to like new foods I've always been a pretty picky eater, not super picky, but I don't like vegetables a whole lot, and they aren't usually a part of my diet. I know this is bad, and I want to eat healthier, but I don't know where to start. I will occasionally eat a ceasar salad, but that's rare, and I really only like corn, carrots, and potatoes. I've tried things like broccoli, but it made me gag, and so I don't try new things a whole lot. I would like to have a healthier diet, so what are some tips I could use to try and learn to like healthier foods? ", "Learn to like new foods I've always been a pretty picky eater, not super picky, but I don't like vegetables a whole lot, and they aren't usually a part of my diet. I know this is bad, and I want to eat healthier, but I don't know where to start. I will occasionally eat a ceasar salad, but that's rare, and I really only like corn, carrots, and potatoes. I've tried things like broccoli, but it made me gag, and so I don't try new things a whole lot. I would like to have a healthier diet, so what are some tips I could use to try and learn to like healthier foods? ", "Learn to like new foods I've always been a pretty picky eater, not super picky, but I don't like vegetables a whole lot, and they aren't usually a part of my diet. I know this is bad, and I want to eat healthier, but I don't know where to start. I will occasionally eat a ceasar salad, but that's rare, and I really only like corn, carrots, and potatoes. I've tried things like broccoli, but it made me gag, and so I don't try new things a whole lot. I would like to have a healthier diet, so what are some tips I could use to try and learn to like healthier foods? " ]

[ "* Taste food before asking what it is - I've had a few friends who've eaten lengua (ox tongue) before asking what it was, and had they known what it was before trying it out, they would have not tried it. (They liked it.)\n\n* Try different ways of cooking food - if you can't eat broccoli alone, try it with something else; it's goooooood with melted cheese. Mmm. For ideas, check out [/r/food](/r/food) or [/r/Cooking](/r/Cooking).\\\n\n* Just man up and try things out.", "Japanese and Thai cooking often uses broccoli and other vegetables in very tasty ways. I don't eat many veges plain, but am happy to have them when they're prepared in an Asian restaurant.\n\nIf you'd like to eat more leafy greens, make small salads with plenty of dressing and meats. There's no reason to be traditional, just throw things you like in there. I like baby spinach leaves as a salad green because it's very nutritious and have a neutral flavor, and usually have it with cubed salami, bacon bits and a lot of Caesar dressing.", "I have heard before that if you eat something enough, eventually your body/mind will start to enjoy it.", "When possible, try something new at some place that really does that thing very well. If you try something for the first time and it's just a really shittily-made version of that thing, it'll ruin your whole perception of that food, whereas if you get it done fucking right, with fresh, quality ingredients etc., you'll have a much better first impression of it and may even surprise yourself by acquiring a real taste for it.", "Try cooking it yourself. The hard work will allow you to enjoy it more.\n\nIf you want to eat veggies you gotta learn to use them as a condiment (at first). Try a new veggie every week and prep it in different ways. Stirfry mushrooms, carrots, onions, asparagus, ect, and add them to your steak.\n\nI'm vegetarian so I love veggies but I didn't always love them. I conquered cauliflower by drowning it in peanut butter. Yumm :)\n\nWrap a husk of corn in aluminum foil and throw it on the grill. You might burn it at first but soon you will perfect it and come to enjoy it.\n\nPotatoes go really well with sea salt. Also you can grate them and make hash browns. Mix in other veggies and beans to make a pattie.\n\nPlay with spices. There are so many out there.\n\nIt's good you are opening your mind (and mouth) to veggies. They do taste good. At first they won't because they are not loaded with sodium and salt- like french fries. Your taste buds will 'want' that salty taste. But, after awhile of eating good veggies, french fries will taste like a salt stick.\n\n\n", "Just eat a bit of the food that you don't enjoy in combination with something that you do enjoy about once a week. I hated tomatoes, but loves lettuce and onions. Once a week I would make a sandwich with them all on it and now I like tomatoes.", "Continue to try things you didn't like in the past as tastes and preferences change over time. Also the repetition is good for you, I've had friends teach themselves to like sushi to impress women." ]

[ 7, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2 ]

[ "Tips for a very shy person who has to go to a disco party and doesn't want to feel awkward? I don't expect my shyness to go away thanks to this post, don't worry about that. I'm just looking for some tips and tricks that can help myself to feel better when in the middle of a party. I hate dancing, I'm not socially awkward but when I'm surrounded by dozens of people I don't know I get very anxious. I really don't want to be \"that guy\" who spends the entire night sitting in a corner or following his friends because he doesn't want to look stupid. For the most part, I'm good at getting along at the end, but I was wondering what can I do to make it even better.", "Tips for a very shy person who has to go to a disco party and doesn't want to feel awkward? I don't expect my shyness to go away thanks to this post, don't worry about that. I'm just looking for some tips and tricks that can help myself to feel better when in the middle of a party. I hate dancing, I'm not socially awkward but when I'm surrounded by dozens of people I don't know I get very anxious. I really don't want to be \"that guy\" who spends the entire night sitting in a corner or following his friends because he doesn't want to look stupid. For the most part, I'm good at getting along at the end, but I was wondering what can I do to make it even better.", "Tips for a very shy person who has to go to a disco party and doesn't want to feel awkward? I don't expect my shyness to go away thanks to this post, don't worry about that. I'm just looking for some tips and tricks that can help myself to feel better when in the middle of a party. I hate dancing, I'm not socially awkward but when I'm surrounded by dozens of people I don't know I get very anxious. I really don't want to be \"that guy\" who spends the entire night sitting in a corner or following his friends because he doesn't want to look stupid. For the most part, I'm good at getting along at the end, but I was wondering what can I do to make it even better.", "Tips for a very shy person who has to go to a disco party and doesn't want to feel awkward? I don't expect my shyness to go away thanks to this post, don't worry about that. I'm just looking for some tips and tricks that can help myself to feel better when in the middle of a party. I hate dancing, I'm not socially awkward but when I'm surrounded by dozens of people I don't know I get very anxious. I really don't want to be \"that guy\" who spends the entire night sitting in a corner or following his friends because he doesn't want to look stupid. For the most part, I'm good at getting along at the end, but I was wondering what can I do to make it even better.", "Tips for a very shy person who has to go to a disco party and doesn't want to feel awkward? I don't expect my shyness to go away thanks to this post, don't worry about that. I'm just looking for some tips and tricks that can help myself to feel better when in the middle of a party. I hate dancing, I'm not socially awkward but when I'm surrounded by dozens of people I don't know I get very anxious. I really don't want to be \"that guy\" who spends the entire night sitting in a corner or following his friends because he doesn't want to look stupid. For the most part, I'm good at getting along at the end, but I was wondering what can I do to make it even better.", "Tips for a very shy person who has to go to a disco party and doesn't want to feel awkward? I don't expect my shyness to go away thanks to this post, don't worry about that. I'm just looking for some tips and tricks that can help myself to feel better when in the middle of a party. I hate dancing, I'm not socially awkward but when I'm surrounded by dozens of people I don't know I get very anxious. I really don't want to be \"that guy\" who spends the entire night sitting in a corner or following his friends because he doesn't want to look stupid. For the most part, I'm good at getting along at the end, but I was wondering what can I do to make it even better.", "Tips for a very shy person who has to go to a disco party and doesn't want to feel awkward? I don't expect my shyness to go away thanks to this post, don't worry about that. I'm just looking for some tips and tricks that can help myself to feel better when in the middle of a party. I hate dancing, I'm not socially awkward but when I'm surrounded by dozens of people I don't know I get very anxious. I really don't want to be \"that guy\" who spends the entire night sitting in a corner or following his friends because he doesn't want to look stupid. For the most part, I'm good at getting along at the end, but I was wondering what can I do to make it even better.", "Tips for a very shy person who has to go to a disco party and doesn't want to feel awkward? I don't expect my shyness to go away thanks to this post, don't worry about that. I'm just looking for some tips and tricks that can help myself to feel better when in the middle of a party. I hate dancing, I'm not socially awkward but when I'm surrounded by dozens of people I don't know I get very anxious. I really don't want to be \"that guy\" who spends the entire night sitting in a corner or following his friends because he doesn't want to look stupid. For the most part, I'm good at getting along at the end, but I was wondering what can I do to make it even better.", "Tips for a very shy person who has to go to a disco party and doesn't want to feel awkward? I don't expect my shyness to go away thanks to this post, don't worry about that. I'm just looking for some tips and tricks that can help myself to feel better when in the middle of a party. I hate dancing, I'm not socially awkward but when I'm surrounded by dozens of people I don't know I get very anxious. I really don't want to be \"that guy\" who spends the entire night sitting in a corner or following his friends because he doesn't want to look stupid. For the most part, I'm good at getting along at the end, but I was wondering what can I do to make it even better.", "Tips for a very shy person who has to go to a disco party and doesn't want to feel awkward? I don't expect my shyness to go away thanks to this post, don't worry about that. I'm just looking for some tips and tricks that can help myself to feel better when in the middle of a party. I hate dancing, I'm not socially awkward but when I'm surrounded by dozens of people I don't know I get very anxious. I really don't want to be \"that guy\" who spends the entire night sitting in a corner or following his friends because he doesn't want to look stupid. For the most part, I'm good at getting along at the end, but I was wondering what can I do to make it even better.", "Tips for a very shy person who has to go to a disco party and doesn't want to feel awkward? I don't expect my shyness to go away thanks to this post, don't worry about that. I'm just looking for some tips and tricks that can help myself to feel better when in the middle of a party. I hate dancing, I'm not socially awkward but when I'm surrounded by dozens of people I don't know I get very anxious. I really don't want to be \"that guy\" who spends the entire night sitting in a corner or following his friends because he doesn't want to look stupid. For the most part, I'm good at getting along at the end, but I was wondering what can I do to make it even better.", "Tips for a very shy person who has to go to a disco party and doesn't want to feel awkward? I don't expect my shyness to go away thanks to this post, don't worry about that. I'm just looking for some tips and tricks that can help myself to feel better when in the middle of a party. I hate dancing, I'm not socially awkward but when I'm surrounded by dozens of people I don't know I get very anxious. I really don't want to be \"that guy\" who spends the entire night sitting in a corner or following his friends because he doesn't want to look stupid. For the most part, I'm good at getting along at the end, but I was wondering what can I do to make it even better." ]

[ "A few things I've learned.. Act on impulse. If you see someone you want to get to know, then get to know them. Ask them their name, what they do in life (school, work, etc) and ask them why they do that. Oh, they're going to a school away from home? Why? Oh, they work somewhere interesting? What got them into that? Ask people questions.. People love talking about themselves.\n\nA much bigger tip to think about is imagine someone doing that exact same thing to you? How you feel if someone came up to you and introduced themselves to you, asked what you do and why you do it? It would feel good and the initial weight that comes with an introduction is lifted off both of your shoulders. You're not judging them. Why? Because you're thrilled they're talking to you. Other people are no different. Be the instigator. People like that. No one will judge you for it.\n\nTL;DR\nJust go for it. Imagine someone coming up to you and striking up a conversation. Be THAT person. Make someone else's day.", "This works for me: Get out on the Dance floor and just cha cha a little. If you've ever seen the Will Smith movie \"Hitch\" Where he coaches the guy who thinks he can dance, [do that](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bH0OXsmsbQ). Focus on the music, nobody cares what you are doing. Watch what other people are dancing like. That's their comfort zone. As a couple of songs go by, branch out and let loose. If somebody does start paying attention to you, reciprocate as best you can. \n\nFurther explanation: Hitch is giving that guy bad advice, he let's loose those dance moves later in the movie and he and his date have a great time. I'm just referencing the clip to give you a starting point that anyone can reach, and you can step it up from there. ", "If it's 130 people, can you get a +1 invite, and take someone you feel comfortable with?\n\nI think the truth is that you're not worried about being at the party, you're worried about the unknown.\n\nI'm not the worlds most sociable person, but these things always follow the same pattern for me;\n\n- I get invited to something, and have a brief moment of happiness that I was invited. It lasts long enough for me to say 'yes'.\n\n- I then start to worry about it. That's where you are now.\n\n- I go, and for the first 10 minutes I am very uncomfortable, and seriously think about quietly leaving.\n\n- I bump into someone I know, maybe they're in the same position, trying to look like they're having fun, when they're actually thinking about quietly leaving. We talk, and the anxiety starts to go.\n\n- Half an hour and a couple of beers later, I've forgotten I was ever concerned.\n\nThing is, I'm not a shy wallflower. What I'm talking about happens at least 5 times a year for me. This happens at family and friends parties, I attend many formal and informal work functions, it's completely normal.\n\nI'm pretty normal, and I get very anxious about social occasions. So, there's nothing wrong with how you feel, and you'll have a great time.", "Trick yourself into having fun. Tell yourself you're going to have fun - having fun is your only goal. You're probably going to feel a little uncool and stupid. It's OK to be uncool and stupid. Check out the weird show that's going on around you but don't try to be above it. Appreciate it. Make stupid jokes. Do that thing you know makes your best friend laugh. But you're doing this to be selfish - you came there to have fun, and dammit, fun you will have. You have an agenda, and there is one thing on it: fun. If you are not having fun, do the next thing you think of that will be more fun. You're not trying to make a memory that will last a lifetime. You're not trying* to get laid. And for god's sake, you're not trying to impress anybody. You are just there to have fun.\n\nThis will have a couple of modest-to-swell side effects. You'll be more relaxed. You'll be happier. And you will actually be more attractive. \n\nYou're right - this doesn't always work. There are some nights you just can't elevate. But this has worked pretty well for me, and I've had some pretty fine evenings out because of it. \n\nWhat it comes down to is: you're going to a party, and people go to parties to have fun, but usually get too hung up on themselves to do so. If you're the guy who's not too hung up on himself, you're likely to meet new people and try new things and have a good time. \n\n*You might just get laid.", "If you feel really uncomfortable and insecure dancing, but you want to try it out anyway, try dancing super silly! People will appreciate your sense of humor about yourself. This works for me fairly often. If you can't bring yourself to do that, try literally just jumping straight up and down. It's a totally legit way to dance and it's good exercise.\n\nAlso, in terms of socializing, until you start to feel more comfortable at the party, i.e. until you start feeling tipsy if you're drinking ;), try talking to people in short segments. Chat for a little bit with someone and then at a natural ebb in the conversation, politely excuse yourself to go say hi to someone else for a moment (or introduce the person you're talking to to someone you know nearby) or get a fresh beverage. Once you've made the rounds, you'll probably start to loosen up a little and you can spend a bit more time with the people who seemed the most interested in chatting with you.\n\nOne more thing to keep in mind is, if someone seems a little standoffish, it's helpful to imagine that maybe they also feel a bit socially awkward, so try being extra nice instead of being standoffish back. You could meet a new friend this way if you're lucky :) Good luck at the party!", "I get nervous too at social things. \n\nOne way I get around it is I pretend I'm a spy, and I have to infiltrate this event, and find out as much as I can about the people there, while saying as little about myself as possible (so that I don't blow my cover). \n\nI can't tell you how well this works. If you ask someone about themselves, and they say one or two words, this is not your person, find someone else to talk to. But I've found that about 85% of people love talking about themselves. \n\nAlso pretending you're a spy makes you more confident. And people like confidence. \n\n", "pretend to be someone else. Pretend to be extroverted, pretend to know how to dance and talk to people. Pretend you're acting in a movie and this is all theater. You'll be amazed how no one will know the difference.", "Shyness is a sign that you worry about wounding your pride. It's amazing how we protect our pride as if it actually has value even when it's pride in reverse. People with confidence know this and there's really little that can shake them because they're the first to laugh at their own mistakes.\n\nThink more about others than yourself and you'll be fine. Find someone you don't know and introduce yourself then make it your job to introduce them to others. ", "Just relax, be yourself, and don't try too hard. There's northing more offputting that somebody trying to be your buddy. If you hear somebody talking, and you have something to add, than do. If you've got similar interests to somebody, you'll probably find they enjoy talking to you. If they have no interest in what you are talking about, then don't try to *make* them interested by going on about it.", "If you don't know how to move\n\nJust feel the groove\n\nAnd dance\n\nLike you just shit your pants\n\n\n\nhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGw3vNZP6Ws", "Get a fro wig, bootsy collins glasses, fake mustache and whatever else you can think of to hide your identity.\n\nStart drinking and/or dancing until you feel comfortable.\n\nTake everything off because you're feeling hot and because you're having too much fun to care anymore.", "Find the only other shy person, tell the plan about having to get drunk because of all this, make a new friend." ]

[ 10, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]