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innovation-hacking2

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[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today.." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public.", ">\n\nTo be honest I am not sure who anyone is to tell another person they are ugly. One person can find something ugly whilst another see the beauty I that person. Maybe stop posting judgemental shit" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public.", ">\n\nTo be honest I am not sure who anyone is to tell another person they are ugly. One person can find something ugly whilst another see the beauty I that person. Maybe stop posting judgemental shit", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. What you like others may not. None of us know what is universally beautiful or ugly as there is no such standard. It is in the eye of the beholder." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public.", ">\n\nTo be honest I am not sure who anyone is to tell another person they are ugly. One person can find something ugly whilst another see the beauty I that person. Maybe stop posting judgemental shit", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. What you like others may not. None of us know what is universally beautiful or ugly as there is no such standard. It is in the eye of the beholder.", ">\n\nI beg to differ but if that child is ugly in world's standard then why would a parent should see his own child that way? Aren't you thinking what the child would feel? There is no way you could say to a child that he is ugly by not hurting his feelings. If it is once said, it could forever left a mark and could damage how the child see himself in the long run.\nJust so you know world's standard of beauty is fleeting. What is beautiful today, won't be tomorrow." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public.", ">\n\nTo be honest I am not sure who anyone is to tell another person they are ugly. One person can find something ugly whilst another see the beauty I that person. Maybe stop posting judgemental shit", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. What you like others may not. None of us know what is universally beautiful or ugly as there is no such standard. It is in the eye of the beholder.", ">\n\nI beg to differ but if that child is ugly in world's standard then why would a parent should see his own child that way? Aren't you thinking what the child would feel? There is no way you could say to a child that he is ugly by not hurting his feelings. If it is once said, it could forever left a mark and could damage how the child see himself in the long run.\nJust so you know world's standard of beauty is fleeting. What is beautiful today, won't be tomorrow.", ">\n\nHonestly if they are ugly just tell them that they are the most despicable looking thing ever and that it's really personality they should go for and that people will only love them if they can accomplish something useful. Only jokes\ndon't tell your kid that let them figure it out on their own they will eventually find out. Besides pretty people tend to be dumber anyhow because they don't need intelligence to survive. They have looks." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public.", ">\n\nTo be honest I am not sure who anyone is to tell another person they are ugly. One person can find something ugly whilst another see the beauty I that person. Maybe stop posting judgemental shit", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. What you like others may not. None of us know what is universally beautiful or ugly as there is no such standard. It is in the eye of the beholder.", ">\n\nI beg to differ but if that child is ugly in world's standard then why would a parent should see his own child that way? Aren't you thinking what the child would feel? There is no way you could say to a child that he is ugly by not hurting his feelings. If it is once said, it could forever left a mark and could damage how the child see himself in the long run.\nJust so you know world's standard of beauty is fleeting. What is beautiful today, won't be tomorrow.", ">\n\nHonestly if they are ugly just tell them that they are the most despicable looking thing ever and that it's really personality they should go for and that people will only love them if they can accomplish something useful. Only jokes\ndon't tell your kid that let them figure it out on their own they will eventually find out. Besides pretty people tend to be dumber anyhow because they don't need intelligence to survive. They have looks.", ">\n\nbeing fat is not ugly tought, just make excersice is not that hard..." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public.", ">\n\nTo be honest I am not sure who anyone is to tell another person they are ugly. One person can find something ugly whilst another see the beauty I that person. Maybe stop posting judgemental shit", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. What you like others may not. None of us know what is universally beautiful or ugly as there is no such standard. It is in the eye of the beholder.", ">\n\nI beg to differ but if that child is ugly in world's standard then why would a parent should see his own child that way? Aren't you thinking what the child would feel? There is no way you could say to a child that he is ugly by not hurting his feelings. If it is once said, it could forever left a mark and could damage how the child see himself in the long run.\nJust so you know world's standard of beauty is fleeting. What is beautiful today, won't be tomorrow.", ">\n\nHonestly if they are ugly just tell them that they are the most despicable looking thing ever and that it's really personality they should go for and that people will only love them if they can accomplish something useful. Only jokes\ndon't tell your kid that let them figure it out on their own they will eventually find out. Besides pretty people tend to be dumber anyhow because they don't need intelligence to survive. They have looks.", ">\n\nbeing fat is not ugly tought, just make excersice is not that hard...", ">\n\nAgreed, but I'd add that we shouldn't be making any child think that their looks make them God's gift to everyone on earth. This applies to beautiful kids too." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public.", ">\n\nTo be honest I am not sure who anyone is to tell another person they are ugly. One person can find something ugly whilst another see the beauty I that person. Maybe stop posting judgemental shit", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. What you like others may not. None of us know what is universally beautiful or ugly as there is no such standard. It is in the eye of the beholder.", ">\n\nI beg to differ but if that child is ugly in world's standard then why would a parent should see his own child that way? Aren't you thinking what the child would feel? There is no way you could say to a child that he is ugly by not hurting his feelings. If it is once said, it could forever left a mark and could damage how the child see himself in the long run.\nJust so you know world's standard of beauty is fleeting. What is beautiful today, won't be tomorrow.", ">\n\nHonestly if they are ugly just tell them that they are the most despicable looking thing ever and that it's really personality they should go for and that people will only love them if they can accomplish something useful. Only jokes\ndon't tell your kid that let them figure it out on their own they will eventually find out. Besides pretty people tend to be dumber anyhow because they don't need intelligence to survive. They have looks.", ">\n\nbeing fat is not ugly tought, just make excersice is not that hard...", ">\n\nAgreed, but I'd add that we shouldn't be making any child think that their looks make them God's gift to everyone on earth. This applies to beautiful kids too.", ">\n\nMy kid is definitely the most beautiful child on Earth and I will absolutely die on that hill." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public.", ">\n\nTo be honest I am not sure who anyone is to tell another person they are ugly. One person can find something ugly whilst another see the beauty I that person. Maybe stop posting judgemental shit", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. What you like others may not. None of us know what is universally beautiful or ugly as there is no such standard. It is in the eye of the beholder.", ">\n\nI beg to differ but if that child is ugly in world's standard then why would a parent should see his own child that way? Aren't you thinking what the child would feel? There is no way you could say to a child that he is ugly by not hurting his feelings. If it is once said, it could forever left a mark and could damage how the child see himself in the long run.\nJust so you know world's standard of beauty is fleeting. What is beautiful today, won't be tomorrow.", ">\n\nHonestly if they are ugly just tell them that they are the most despicable looking thing ever and that it's really personality they should go for and that people will only love them if they can accomplish something useful. Only jokes\ndon't tell your kid that let them figure it out on their own they will eventually find out. Besides pretty people tend to be dumber anyhow because they don't need intelligence to survive. They have looks.", ">\n\nbeing fat is not ugly tought, just make excersice is not that hard...", ">\n\nAgreed, but I'd add that we shouldn't be making any child think that their looks make them God's gift to everyone on earth. This applies to beautiful kids too.", ">\n\nMy kid is definitely the most beautiful child on Earth and I will absolutely die on that hill.", ">\n\nCouple of things. \n\nThere is no objective truth. “Ugly” is subjective and completely a matter of self perception. There are zero objective facts we could rely on to say one person is more “beautiful” than another who is “ugly.” These concepts simply don’t exist. \nMillennials are the “if you think it, it must be true” generation so if you want to bitch to anyone, bitch to them. \nEveryone is the most beautiful person in the world. Everyone is special and wonderful." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public.", ">\n\nTo be honest I am not sure who anyone is to tell another person they are ugly. One person can find something ugly whilst another see the beauty I that person. Maybe stop posting judgemental shit", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. What you like others may not. None of us know what is universally beautiful or ugly as there is no such standard. It is in the eye of the beholder.", ">\n\nI beg to differ but if that child is ugly in world's standard then why would a parent should see his own child that way? Aren't you thinking what the child would feel? There is no way you could say to a child that he is ugly by not hurting his feelings. If it is once said, it could forever left a mark and could damage how the child see himself in the long run.\nJust so you know world's standard of beauty is fleeting. What is beautiful today, won't be tomorrow.", ">\n\nHonestly if they are ugly just tell them that they are the most despicable looking thing ever and that it's really personality they should go for and that people will only love them if they can accomplish something useful. Only jokes\ndon't tell your kid that let them figure it out on their own they will eventually find out. Besides pretty people tend to be dumber anyhow because they don't need intelligence to survive. They have looks.", ">\n\nbeing fat is not ugly tought, just make excersice is not that hard...", ">\n\nAgreed, but I'd add that we shouldn't be making any child think that their looks make them God's gift to everyone on earth. This applies to beautiful kids too.", ">\n\nMy kid is definitely the most beautiful child on Earth and I will absolutely die on that hill.", ">\n\nCouple of things. \n\nThere is no objective truth. “Ugly” is subjective and completely a matter of self perception. There are zero objective facts we could rely on to say one person is more “beautiful” than another who is “ugly.” These concepts simply don’t exist. \nMillennials are the “if you think it, it must be true” generation so if you want to bitch to anyone, bitch to them. \nEveryone is the most beautiful person in the world. Everyone is special and wonderful.", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public.", ">\n\nTo be honest I am not sure who anyone is to tell another person they are ugly. One person can find something ugly whilst another see the beauty I that person. Maybe stop posting judgemental shit", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. What you like others may not. None of us know what is universally beautiful or ugly as there is no such standard. It is in the eye of the beholder.", ">\n\nI beg to differ but if that child is ugly in world's standard then why would a parent should see his own child that way? Aren't you thinking what the child would feel? There is no way you could say to a child that he is ugly by not hurting his feelings. If it is once said, it could forever left a mark and could damage how the child see himself in the long run.\nJust so you know world's standard of beauty is fleeting. What is beautiful today, won't be tomorrow.", ">\n\nHonestly if they are ugly just tell them that they are the most despicable looking thing ever and that it's really personality they should go for and that people will only love them if they can accomplish something useful. Only jokes\ndon't tell your kid that let them figure it out on their own they will eventually find out. Besides pretty people tend to be dumber anyhow because they don't need intelligence to survive. They have looks.", ">\n\nbeing fat is not ugly tought, just make excersice is not that hard...", ">\n\nAgreed, but I'd add that we shouldn't be making any child think that their looks make them God's gift to everyone on earth. This applies to beautiful kids too.", ">\n\nMy kid is definitely the most beautiful child on Earth and I will absolutely die on that hill.", ">\n\nCouple of things. \n\nThere is no objective truth. “Ugly” is subjective and completely a matter of self perception. There are zero objective facts we could rely on to say one person is more “beautiful” than another who is “ugly.” These concepts simply don’t exist. \nMillennials are the “if you think it, it must be true” generation so if you want to bitch to anyone, bitch to them. \nEveryone is the most beautiful person in the world. Everyone is special and wonderful.", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective", ">\n\n...in the long run" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public.", ">\n\nTo be honest I am not sure who anyone is to tell another person they are ugly. One person can find something ugly whilst another see the beauty I that person. Maybe stop posting judgemental shit", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. What you like others may not. None of us know what is universally beautiful or ugly as there is no such standard. It is in the eye of the beholder.", ">\n\nI beg to differ but if that child is ugly in world's standard then why would a parent should see his own child that way? Aren't you thinking what the child would feel? There is no way you could say to a child that he is ugly by not hurting his feelings. If it is once said, it could forever left a mark and could damage how the child see himself in the long run.\nJust so you know world's standard of beauty is fleeting. What is beautiful today, won't be tomorrow.", ">\n\nHonestly if they are ugly just tell them that they are the most despicable looking thing ever and that it's really personality they should go for and that people will only love them if they can accomplish something useful. Only jokes\ndon't tell your kid that let them figure it out on their own they will eventually find out. Besides pretty people tend to be dumber anyhow because they don't need intelligence to survive. They have looks.", ">\n\nbeing fat is not ugly tought, just make excersice is not that hard...", ">\n\nAgreed, but I'd add that we shouldn't be making any child think that their looks make them God's gift to everyone on earth. This applies to beautiful kids too.", ">\n\nMy kid is definitely the most beautiful child on Earth and I will absolutely die on that hill.", ">\n\nCouple of things. \n\nThere is no objective truth. “Ugly” is subjective and completely a matter of self perception. There are zero objective facts we could rely on to say one person is more “beautiful” than another who is “ugly.” These concepts simply don’t exist. \nMillennials are the “if you think it, it must be true” generation so if you want to bitch to anyone, bitch to them. \nEveryone is the most beautiful person in the world. Everyone is special and wonderful.", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective", ">\n\n...in the long run", ">\n\n\"You can play a lot of night games.\"" ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public.", ">\n\nTo be honest I am not sure who anyone is to tell another person they are ugly. One person can find something ugly whilst another see the beauty I that person. Maybe stop posting judgemental shit", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. What you like others may not. None of us know what is universally beautiful or ugly as there is no such standard. It is in the eye of the beholder.", ">\n\nI beg to differ but if that child is ugly in world's standard then why would a parent should see his own child that way? Aren't you thinking what the child would feel? There is no way you could say to a child that he is ugly by not hurting his feelings. If it is once said, it could forever left a mark and could damage how the child see himself in the long run.\nJust so you know world's standard of beauty is fleeting. What is beautiful today, won't be tomorrow.", ">\n\nHonestly if they are ugly just tell them that they are the most despicable looking thing ever and that it's really personality they should go for and that people will only love them if they can accomplish something useful. Only jokes\ndon't tell your kid that let them figure it out on their own they will eventually find out. Besides pretty people tend to be dumber anyhow because they don't need intelligence to survive. They have looks.", ">\n\nbeing fat is not ugly tought, just make excersice is not that hard...", ">\n\nAgreed, but I'd add that we shouldn't be making any child think that their looks make them God's gift to everyone on earth. This applies to beautiful kids too.", ">\n\nMy kid is definitely the most beautiful child on Earth and I will absolutely die on that hill.", ">\n\nCouple of things. \n\nThere is no objective truth. “Ugly” is subjective and completely a matter of self perception. There are zero objective facts we could rely on to say one person is more “beautiful” than another who is “ugly.” These concepts simply don’t exist. \nMillennials are the “if you think it, it must be true” generation so if you want to bitch to anyone, bitch to them. \nEveryone is the most beautiful person in the world. Everyone is special and wonderful.", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective", ">\n\n...in the long run", ">\n\n\"You can play a lot of night games.\"", ">\n\nPlease don't have kids." ]

[ "Never base childs confidence on his/hers looks which they did nothing to earn them, that's not a strong base, base on character. On the other hand, no matter how your child looks, he/she should be comfortable in their looks, certainly don't feel ugly, even if they don't meet \"the criteria\" which is subjective.", ">\n\nPssst... you're going to get old and wrinkly one day. \nLife doesn't care what you want. With your current outlook, you'd better hope that you stay lucky enough to avoid accidents/tragedies that impact your face. Car accidents, tumors, building collapses, a new autoimmune problem, a stray transport tire, a fire, a falling object, etc can all happen to you unexpectedly. You won't magically be safe from them just because you dislike ugly people.\nI hope they don't happen to you, but you'd currently be screwed if it does happen, based on your response. Would you lose all of your self-worth, or would you try to find other things to be proud of? Your attitude implies the former, which is not good. I hope that you have other things that you are proud of. If you don't, you should try to find some, even if it's a hobby. No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something.\nETA: A bad personality/attitude can easily make a \"10\" into a \"2\". Life's way too short to deal with people who prefer judging over self-improvement. You can't guarantee that you'll see tomorrow.", ">\n\nThe wise need not dwell on the opinions of the foolish", ">\n\nIf you are the parent of a 500 lb minor, you deserve to be in prison for child endangerment (unless there’s some medical reason for the extreme obesity).", ">\n\nThere is only one extremely rare disease that makes hunger continuous that would count as an excuse. Other than that, no other disease makes you eat in a caloric surplus.", ">\n\nAntipsychotic medications can make people insatiable. Some kids need them. \nBut yeah, Prader-Willi syndrome is as real as it is rare.", ">\n\nThat's what parents are for. No kid will starve to death and die from an increased appetite that's regulated by the parents. But they will die from obesity.", ">\n\nI believe that parents should not emphasize/place a lot of importance on/ mention frequently their child's physical appearance in any context, whether the child is above average, average, or below average in looks. So I agree that parents should not tell an unattractive child that he or she is physically beautiful, but they should also not tell an attractive child he or she is beautiful, either.", ">\n\nI'd extend this to say you shouldn't overvalue any trait that is outside of the kids control. \nMy generation is full of former \"smart\" kids who burnt out and failed as soon as they hit a roadblock at least in part because we were constantly told how smart we were when our school work wasn't challenging. As soon as we did get challenged for the first time, suddenly we must not be \"smart\" anymore, we had no idea how to overcome an obstacle, and the whole foundation fell out beneath us. \nKids who are rewarded for being hard working, or creative, or good problem solvers, have much better short term and long term outcomes than kids who are just told they're smart. I'd say the same goes for any other inherent trait vs one the kid can actually control", ">\n\nThere’s a difference between teaching your child how much appearance matters (which is necessary), and being harmful by degrading them. Attractiveness is a factor in everything.\nThe vast majority of people who think they’re ugly are very capable of elevating themselves to at least a 5/10. Yes, some people simply lost the lottery, and some people simply won the lottery when it comes to genetics. But most people were born somewhere in the middle, and their choices have led to their appearance.\nSo what I’m saying is, the importance of keeping yourself up should be taught, regardless of how naturally attractive you are. Far too many people fall into the trap of thinking they always have been and always will be ugly no matter what.", ">\n\nExactly this. I see so many ugly people who you can tell have just given up, they don't even do the basics like combing their hair or wearing clothes that don't look like they got them from a bin. \nIt's not hard for someone to take a little bit of time to tidy up their appearance but instead, we have this new 'movement' which is seeking to remove all notions of standards which essentially says, everyone is beautiful no matter what. This leads to people not doing a damn thing with their appearance and thinking they are attractive.\nAnyone see footage from the 50s when people used to dress nicely when they were in public? This idea should be the standard expectation of people in public. But now for some reason, shame and dignity have been removed from the equation and we see people in their damn pyjamas at the supermarket.", ">\n\nThe supermarket? You should see how people dress in the office. You'd think half of them just came in from weeding the garden. But most people don't subscribe to the idea that apparances are important any longer.", ">\n\nFriend visited me after the pandemic started to wind down. She didn't change or shower the entire time. Pijamas the entiretime. It was soooo disgusting. She was lazy and selfish and on her phone the entire time. She never used to be like this. Ive seen a lot of these slides for a lot of people, I think the pandemic fucked things up in lasting ways. It's so dramatic to see evidence of this everywhere, especially with how people dress and their hygiene.", ">\n\nObviously off topic to the thread, but I do think you're correct in that Covid has really changed attitudes and behavoirs accross the board. Half of it doesn't even make sense. But we didn't come out on the other side any better off for it, that's for certain. People are messed up.", ">\n\nThis is silly, because confidence is fantastic and ugly confident people succeed all the time. The problem in your scenario is if a child weighs 500 lbs, their parents have already failed them anyway and they aren’t listening to this type of advice.", ">\n\nIf a child weighs 500 lbs, they are not ugly, they are just fat af and they need to lose weight immediately.", ">\n\nDon’t be fat and ugly, just be ugly!", ">\n\nIt’s called pick your struggle. Like don’t be broke and ugly", ">\n\nParents think their kids are the closest thing to perfection. Guess it’s a biological mechanism, to ensure unconditional love.\nA friend of mine wanted to sign up her daughter at a modeling agency when she was 3 because she thought she was so beautiful. No one else I knew seemed to agree, we just nodded and remained silent.", ">\n\nOld enough to remember “it’s the inside is what counts,” a way healthier and honest message than “everyone is beautiful.”", ">\n\nIt’s so frustrating seeing how a movement that was meant to be about how “everybody/every body is worthy of basic respect and dignity even if you don’t find them attractive” became “everybody/every body is beautiful” because why address the problem at hand that beauty is equated to self worth when you can launch thousands of ad campaigns to capitalize on people’s insecurities.", ">\n\nDude creates an alt just to make this post", ">\n\nGot turned down by a fat girl huh?", ">\n\n💀", ">\n\nThis is such an uninformed opinion. Nobody thinks they look good because their mom said so. If anything, most people have extremely low self-esteem and constantly blow up their flaws.", ">\n\nI have read that actually, most people rate themselves as more attractive than they are.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is 100% subjective. They are exactly as attractive as they feel they are. Maybe not to everyone, but your opinion of their looks does not discredit their assessment.", ">\n\nDo you really believe it’s 100% subjective? It definitely is quite subjective, but there’s a reason there’s a general consensus that some actors are really attractive and that traits like obesity are unattractive. Because they have some amount of objective attractiveness", ">\n\nI would attribute that more to group think than anything else. Theres a general consensus, but you generally only get the opinions of people who care. How many people make up this general consensus...1000? 1 million? 300 million? Its subjective in that its how the person looking perceived it. If you find it attractive, it is. If I find the exact same thing unattractive, the same is also true. \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. Things like beauty exist only as YOU perceive them", ">\n\nDo you not believe the fact that we are a biological system with motivations given to us by this system? It's easy to abstract things out and imagine yourself as always at the helm of your motivations and decisions but we already know this isn't true. We don't prefer wide hips because of group think nor are we the only species with permanent breasts outside periods of lactation in all mammals on Earth because of group think and those are just 2 examples.", ">\n\nIf you look at history, you see how beauty standards changed A LOT during the different periods and in the different cultures. This is a big proof that it has a lot to do with \"group think\"", ">\n\nActually historical beauty standards don't say much about the real beauty standards people had before, because most of history is from point of view of a quite distinct slice of society. We may never know for real what average European found attractive in 1300s.", ">\n\nI don’t want to meet the parent that does not think their children are absolutely beautiful. My kids may not be lookers in other peoples eyes, but they are absolutely beautiful to me - hands down the best looking kids on the planet and I would not change a thing.", ">\n\nI feel this.\nI don't feel like either her dad or I are objectively mainstream attractive. \nBut daaammmnnnn, my baby got the best of both of us.", ">\n\nI'm worried about this with my daughters. They will be gorgeous women, and I'm slightly concerned that people's first reaction is that I'm their step father🤣 because there's no way they got their looks from me, lol", ">\n\nI don’t think society should place inherent worth of someone based on looks so yeah, cool. But I would say the same to my child no matter how they look.", ">\n\nIn an ideal world, yes. This is and will never be that - Everyone values individuals how most people do 1. Looks 2. Supreme Talent 3. Intelligence/Resources (Wealth or Power)", ">\n\nOh I'm ugly and my mom definitely made me know it haha", ">\n\nDamn", ">\n\nI bet OP is one of the ugliest people they've seen.", ">\n\nAt least they’re likely self aware lmao", ">\n\nThe fact that someone feels good with themselves and confortable in their own skin doesn't mean they aren't concious of their flaws. You can control your Instagram feed btw you just have to follow those profiles that show people with the physical features you like, parents can and should tell their kids they're precious no matter how they are because there's a lot of bitter people like you who will tell them the \"cruel truths\" they don't need that kind of energy at their own homes.", ">\n\nIt’s not even that, the only reason to say those things, is to be mean, it’s to hurt someone. The person hurting usually needs a reason, and that reason is usually massive insecurities. We hurt with what we know will hurt ourselves. Raising your child to realize they have value is important, and to not take seriously the judgement of others when their own feelings and beliefs are important and valid too.", ">\n\nI actually think that this post reeks of insecurity, and yes is allways insecure people who gives too much value to looks over everything, and that insecurities usually start at home when parents give too much criticism, althoug they should teach their kids they have value in other aspects too, but to teach them they're ugly it will make them more insecure not less.", ">\n\nI'm sorry my confidence and ability to love myself is offensive to you.", ">\n\nSo who is going to tell the stupid ones the sad truth? 🤔", ">\n\n🤫 one thing at a time", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. Just because you think someone is ugly doesn't make them ugly to everyone.", ">\n\nI have evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology on the line. They want a word with you.", ">\n\nI promise you that someone you think is 100% beautiful and perfect will be the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen in my life", ">\n\nWe find the same traits attractive because they signal genetic fitness and optimal health, which everyone values.", ">\n\nSo how should ugly people carry themselves? They deserve a fair shot at love and success just like anybody else.", ">\n\nOf course, but let’s not beat around the bush and tell them they’re good looking when they have a face like a dropped pie.", ">\n\nOh boy… So if they’re not that bright, should we tell them they’re stupid too? \nI doubt you have children, but if you do, prepare to scar them for life. \nAnd where is this 500 lb daughter scenario coming from? Do you have a real life example of this? \nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dude.", ">\n\nYou get an upvote bc this is definitely unpopular and going to trigger someone lol", ">\n\nIt isn't at all... Some \"ugly\" people are gaining confidence because they've realized beauty is subjective but just because that mindset has grown doesn't mean the idea that they're ugly isn't still popular. I mean look at everyone in this thread agreeing. Look at majority of the movie/tv stars, porn actors/actresses, celebrities, models and etc, majority of them still fit the \"convenient\" attractive model.\nThis opinion isn't unpopular at all.", ">\n\nDo people actually do this? My parents are the exact opposite lmao. My mum even told me to stop eating lunch to keep fit when I was in secondary school.", ">\n\nMy mum would tell me how handsome I was when I was younger. Yesterday she told me I was ‘podging up in the middle and should do something about it’.", ">\n\nShe says the same to me", ">\n\nFocus on healthy bodies not “pretty” ones. I’ll never forget how heartbroken my 9year old daughter was when she came home from school where another girl called her ugly. She wasn’t crying, she just wouldn’t speak much. She was quiet for days. \nKids being made to feel like they are gods beautiful gift seem to turn around and make others feel worthless on purpose. Let’s make beautiful personalities a thing! There are so many ugly ones out there to battle with each day.", ">\n\nUgly is subjective. Everyone is as beautiful as they believe, screw societal standards.", ">\n\nIt's not society. It's evolution. It's biology. It's genetics.", ">\n\nFun fact: beauty standards change based on culture and even time period.\nBut now you’ll say that you use the word beauty differently from everyone.", ">\n\nYou need to familiarise yourself with the work of David Buss, Robert Sapolsky, Geoffrey Miller, Satoshi Kanazawa, Steven Pinker, Nancy Etcoff, John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Edward Dutton, Diana Fleischman, Jonathan Haidt and Gad Saad. The sheer tonnage of data they have arrayed against the stagnant tabula rasa doctrine will keep you busy for years.", ">\n\nYour first ever post on Reddit and this is what you pick?", ">\n\nMy son is at that age where he stinks, he's kind of chubby, and his teeth are sticking out everywhere. It's still beautiful because it's a natural part of becoming an adult and wondrous how we go from one cell to a whole ass grown human. Kids are often self conscious going through these awkward phases and they need to hear that they're beautiful. They're growing in body, mind, and hopefully character and these are rights of passage. Nobody is supposed to find kids attractive so if you aren't calling them beautiful as a person, what are you complementing them on?", ">\n\nHey, OP, you sound pretty ugly on the inside. I think, for your own sake, maybe you should just keep quiet and let the inner beautiful people speak. In the long run, you'll be happier because we'd hate how ugly you'll show us you are.\nOP, if you change your mind, you will have improved your inner self to not hideous.", ">\n\nBeing attractive often comes from confidence. Unless you have some huge disfigurement, confidence and the way you carry yourself will factor into how attractive people think you are.", ">\n\nare people attractive because of their confidence or are attractive people more confident because they are attractive hmm", ">\n\nThere are definitely people I know that are not attractive if you just saw a neutral photo of them, but their confidence and charisma make you feel drawn to them and make them more attractive. \nI’ve also know attractive people that are withdrawn and shy, that you don’t realise how attractive they are because they have such a closed off personality.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like it, great. If not, ignore it. Its actually pretty simple. The idea of cover models and what not is actually pretty subjective, the people who argue about it the most kind of concern me. Does it REALLY affect your day that much if someone considers themselves attractive? Or if a fat girl is on sports illustrated? I've never cared who was on the cover, skinny, fat, black, white, man, woman, it's a magazine, just don't buy it and surf the porn, I mean internet.", ">\n\nStop enjoying Insta everyone, it's annoying Stunning McBraveface over here.", ">\n\n\nWe have people that are just frankly ugly who think they are gods gift to everyone on earth, and it needs to stop\n\n\"I don't like that you're happy with the way you look because you don't conform to my standards of beauty. You shouldn't feel confident about the way you look.\"\nGet lost.", ">\n\nWhat people need to learn is that it's okay to be ugly. Being good looking is a privilege. Not everyone is beautiful, and not everyone should be beautiful. Some people are just ugly, and it's fine. It's totally fine. No one wants to be ugly and no one wants to believe they are, but you just can't avoid it. It's fine, really. You aren't worth less. You're not less interesting. You're not less human. You just don't look as pleasing as a model for example, and that's perfectly fine. That's what sociey needs to change.", ">\n\nThis is important to drill into kids heads BUT unfortunately ugly people are treated like subhuman. Ugly people aren’t perceived as equal as an attractive person. I’d say that people go out of their way to let ugly people know this. Ugly people should be treated equally, but they’re not. Even if their accomplishments and achievements are far better than an attractive persons. An attractive person always gets parades for nothing. It’s disgusting how people are treated based on looks.", ">\n\nattractiveness is not purely physical - i'll give you the best anecdote i can - i used to date a 'cam-girl' (chaturbate model) - she's a good person no problems with her- but all of her friends were cam models too so i was spending time around lots of beautiful women. sometimes 3 somes and what not (lucky me right?) well... as i started spending time around these beautiful women... you start to notice... a lot of them have absolutely ZERO personality i mean NONE - they literally just get by because they know that they're hot and they prey on insecure men for money and gifts. if they weren't attractive...or they were men...they'd be homeless.\nit really helped my identify that...just because someone is pretty doesn't mean they're someone you want to spend your time with. \nBUT - when talking about someone who's 500 pounds...they could totally be a beautiful person on the inside...but to ignore that being 500 pounds isn't healthy is just as damaging as being called fat and ugly every day.", ">\n\nThis is like those parents on American Idol who's kids really cant sing but they all were delusional and talking like it was some conspiracy to not let their kid get on lol", ">\n\nThis makes no sense, confidence is key, ugliness is subjective and you make an example with weight that is something that could be changed, it seems that you are a bit confused.", ">\n\nNo OP isn't 'confused'. Good word salad though, however he's right. Confidence that comes from beauty is an external factor.", ">\n\nYour lucky to be ugly.. becuase then you know people love you for who you are.. Pretty people never know who to trust. \\~Drax", ">\n\nReading through OP and a lot of the comments here, I'm curious as to whom you people think are attractive? \nIt's a very subjective topic.\nFor example: I'm pretty sure I have a \"better\" face/body than Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and (infinitely better than) Elon Musk. Yet, ^(SOMETHING) tells me, they could pull more 'tang than I'll ever see in my lifetime, even if I outlived them all.", ">\n\nI think this is a sad way to think. Beauty is subjective, someone you find ugly does not mean that every single person shares the same opinion. Society puts an emphasis on beauty and looks but that doesn't mean ppl are ugly. And no one is telling their 500 lb daughter she is a model. Everyone should have confidence and people should not care what others think considering someone having confidence in their looks should not impact you or your life.", ">\n\nMuligatani is nice with lemon", ">\n\nThank you! I’m so glad I was smart enough to realize I’m too ugly to be a bitch. Hot chicks get to be bitches but we have so many 4s acting like their 10s.", ">\n\nI’m literally dying of laughter reading this😂\nPlease don’t become a parent use protection", ">\n\nThis just reminds me of when I was a young teen and I asked my mum what I was going to do if I didn't find my passion in life. She just looked at me and said \"don't worry honey. I made you pretty.\"", ">\n\nI thought us ugly people were supposed to have confidence?", ">\n\nThe beauty standard is a social construct which isn’t gonna matter in the long run given that beauty fades. Parents should encourage their children to be confident in their abilities as a person rather than how they look. I think you’re too hyper focused on something that should be seen as a trivial factor.", ">\n\nBeauty is in the eye of the beholder. What you think is ugly is attractive to another. Terrible post.", ">\n\nHow objective is beauty, anyway? It's our fault we're so shallow. \nAlso, I think most people have at least the *potential* to be beautiful, though it's certainly easier for some.", ">\n\nWhenever I ask momma if I'm handsome she says \"you have a good heart and that's what counts\"", ">\n\nLooks should be irrelevant in all cases . It’s one of the harmful narratives that peoples value is based on their appearance .", ">\n\nThe type of post I'd expect one of the douchey Paul brothers to make. Ive seen ugly people with good looking people just because they have confidence. It isn't your place to shit on anybody if they're confident then so tf what why's it bother you. And just because you're attractive doesn't make you a great person this logic is so flawed it's baffling how you have so many upvotes.", ">\n\nPick it up with your bare hand and put in your own pockets then.", ">\n\nWell you can tell them whatever you want but the world won’t lie to them", ">\n\nWhy not?", ">\n\nI think this is as redundant as telling my kids Santa Claus is not real or telling my kids that babies weren't delivered by birds. If they are so easily brainwashed, there is fundamentally wrong with how I raised them. Me trying to brainwash them back, wouldn't change the fact that they are too stupid to resist brainwashing.\nWith that been said, I never said anyone is beautiful. It is also unnecessary to say they are beautiful.", ">\n\nIf they are beautiful don’t do this either!!! I thought my life was going to be easy street which is a massive joke especially since I’m not even that pretty!", ">\n\nI get what you are saying, they could get bullied for the way they look.", ">\n\nUgly based on what?", ">\n\nI think “ugly” is too subjective of a term. \nHowever, it is important for children to grow up with confidence in more than just their looks. \nMy grandma always told me “you won’t always be beautiful, you’ll get old and wrinkled if you’re lucky to live that long, but you can always be smart”", ">\n\nWho inspired this post, OP?", ">\n\nYour mom.", ">\n\nMy mom is way older than 25. Your story doesn’t add up. Confess the real target of your passive aggressive reddit post. Or else.", ">\n\nYou go first. Explain your insinuation first!", ">\n\nBeauty is not necessarily physical attractiveness.\nTrue beauty comes from within.", ">\n\nOver-confidence sounds like something only a person who’s ugly as hell (on the inside) would speak on. Somebody didn’t love you & that’s not okay. I hope you find the help you deserve.", ">\n\nAll I want to say is something a wise person once told me - \"never put your children down, even if you are worried about them becoming over confident, because there are millions in the world to put them in their place.\"", ">\n\nActually for men they’re at their physical peak at around 24-26", ">\n\nWell well well my time to shine is only a year or three from now", ">\n\nThis goes deeper than the surface level you’re talking about. Modern day has been infected with people padding their self esteem in fake ways and living in false perspective bubbles for comfort. It has become a kind of drug for the masses, and it borders on the concept of “narcissistic supply”. This is actually part of a mental health issue that is plaguing society at large that people don’t think is a mental health issue.\nIf you are dosing yourself with “good vibes only” and delusional perspectives to force high self esteem… you are not mentally healthy", ">\n\nI’m going to assume OP isn’t a parent because if they were, they would realise how fucking terrible their opinion is. \nNow my step daughter is by no means ugly and is extremely pretty but if she weren’t, do you honestly think I wouldn’t call her beautiful because she is my child?", ">\n\nI disagree. Being ugly isn’t really something you can change and confidence is very important for EVERY human. Why are you mad at confident people? It sounds like you’re insecure and are jealous of those people \nAlso being fat is not being ugly lol it’s a health risk", ">\n\nI gave my daughter (now 4) a daily mantra every morning. “I am smart! I am beautiful! And I am important!” That’s what’s all she needs but consistent. She has began on her own to add another one: “And I am funny!” Than we both laugh every time…", ">\n\nGood parents would always tell their child that he is beautiful, because even if he is ugly, parents will always be able to see the beauty in him as a being. And that's exactly the point... parents are there to protect you and make you understand that you are worth a lot. \nOf course they shouldn't tell their child that he is objectively beautiful, because there is no objectivity in these things, and anyway it wouldn't be a smart move to make him believe that everybody will notice his qualities. But still, they should make him (or her, of course) understand that he does have qualities, and that even when the world won't see those qualities, the people who really care about him will notice something great about him. \nI think that beauty, the real beauty, is related to many qualities, and not just to physical appearance. That's why i think that somehow you are right when you write that parents shouldn't make you think that you are the most beautiful person on earth, because if you grow thinking that, you'll not understand the real value of yourself, and you'll be really disappointed when someone will wake you up, showing you that not everyone likes you just because you have a pretty face. \nOn the other hand, i think that a mother should never tell her child something different than \"you are beautiful\". Because even where you see ugliness, she can see beauty. Good parents go beyond physical appearance with their eyes. That's why they see beauty in their children. And maybe the point is that they should teach those children to look for people who can see that same beauty in them... and especially, they should teach those children to see that same beauty in themselves (and maybe in other people too), going beyond the physical appearance standards.", ">\n\nMeh, I would rather be ugly but believe I'm extremely beautiful, than be beautiful and believe I'm ugly. Nothing wrong with a bit of confidence; it doesn't hurt anyone, and it's one of the main sources of happiness in life, I think. If you don't like looking at people that you perceive to be ugly, then don't look at them.", ">\n\nMy instagram feed shows me things I normally like watching. It’s customized to me in a way. \nSo maybe get off instagram or learn how to filter your content better. It’s definitely easier than to police “ugly” people.", ">\n\nA favorite saying in our house : \"Someone's Mama told them they were special a few too many times\"", ">\n\nTell me you’re incel… we don’t body shame in 2023x", ">\n\nMost parents believes their offspring are the most beautiful ever. It’s beer goggles amplified because if they cop to an ugly child it’s also recognition that their combined DNA did some unfortunate things. Most people aren’t willing to be that honest.", ">\n\nWelp, I can tell who the ugly people are after reading these comments.", ">\n\nWell it's hard.\nConfidence will help your kids succeed. But they also need to be aware of reality to succeed in life.\nLuckily we have makeup, Photoshop and selfie filters in 2023. My 400 lbs daughter doesn't need my help lying to herself.", ">\n\nBased", ">\n\nYep yep yep yep I like this message. Tell your kid they can cure cancer or develop other skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you can only be held by so many eyes. I get it parents love their children and to us all of our children are perfect and beautiful but I'll be damned if they actually want the world to agree with their delusion. Teaching children's humility should be on every parent's to do list.", ">\n\nI get what you’re saying, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I saw a bird that I thought was gorgeous, and my friend said aloud, “Look at that ugly ass thing.” I agree that we shouldn’t raise children to believe that their physical appearance is the most valuable attribute. Are you kind? Are you brave? Are you smart? Are you resourceful? Sure, society places a weird focus on its idea of physical beauty, and everyone wants to feel like someone thinks they’re beautiful, so it is important to a lot of people to have an outsider say so… but we all die in the end and we all decompose if we’re not turned to ash. I wouldn’t want to leave this world and all anyone could say was that I was beautiful (I’m really not btw). I’d much rather have people tell stories about how I was compassionate to them or a story about how I maybe made them laugh.. or how I was relatively smart, but always eager to learn.", ">\n\nLots of 5s walking around claiming to be 10s", ">\n\nJust don't talk about appearance with your children, no matter who it is about. It sets bad example to the kids. \nAs for the OPs opinion, yes, overcomplimenting their kid's looks can have the adverse effects of making them lose all self-esteem if criticized in the real world. This does not only apply to so-called \"ugly\" kids but also the pretty ones. Do you ever wonder why the pretty ones go under self-harming plastic surgeries and have insecurities about aging? 20 something years of being coded with an obsession to beauty and perfection do that to people. Did anyone watch Encanto? The pretty one explains it well.", ">\n\nI call my son handsome pie, but I also tell him hes smart and funny and sweet(when he wants to be lol) and creative", ">\n\nDo you understand that to us, our kids are very handsome or beautiful? I mean, I suppose a disfigurement would be obvious to us, but our kids have our features and the features of the people we love. Of course we're going to see them as good-looking. I guess what I'm saying is, the parents of ugly kids don't always know their kids are ugly.", ">\n\nFR. Mom needs to stop telling me I look like Keanu Reeves. \nI appreciate the support, mom, but you do know I own a mirror right?", ">\n\nWhen you're young your parents should do everything they can to build up your self esteem. \nAnd when you're old enough to hear the truth they should tell you that too. :P\nHaving said that, overcompensating for someone's obvious unattractiveness by gassing their head up does more harm than good. Everyone knows what they look like. We all have mirrors, and society at large isn't going to coddle you the way your parents might. So you'll learn pretty fuckin fast what your attractiveness level is by the time you're 25 or so. Some people are late bloomers lol.", ">\n\nOn the other hand I notice among my friends, the pretty ones seem to be more insecure and unhappy. I always think it's because they were told they're pretty and will have everything handed to them. But in reality it didn't happen that way and made them bitter. \nBetter to just not make it about looks...", ">\n\nI'd rather live with people who have self love than people who think they're ugly.", ">\n\nConfidence and narcissism are two different things.", ">\n\nI'm fat, I'm sexy and I know it!", ">\n\nWe should just utilize CRISPR and other gene editing tools. No one should have to experience being ugly. We should be able to fix genuine uglyness even after birth.", ">\n\nI'm a God in this world full of serpents", ">\n\nThere's a thin line between being a realist and completely deflating someone's confidence...\nThere's a someone for everyone especially if you're female ..believe it or not some guys thing they love is for the woman to be ugly \nSo with that in mind, you don't even need to be beautiful .. as beautiful as just an opinion and everybody has different opinions .. some people jus have similar opinions on what they've been conditioned to find attractive and then the idea of what's beautiful just becomes the general consensus of what the most people like\n..but that means at the same time there's someone that doesn't agree with that general consensus \nYou'll be beautiful to someone someday \nThere's no reason to view \"beautiful\" as a fact based thing you have to check boxes off of a checklist to achieve ..\nIt's just an opinion as beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder", ">\n\nI can't imagine this stems mainly from the parents though. I know I wouldn't consider my parent's remarks as accurate; this is commonly known, given remarks from people joking about \"well my mom says I'm pretty/handsome.\"\nI think it's the rest of society at play here. No one wants to tell someone they're less attractive than they think in the first place.", ">\n\nAlright you phrased this kinda like an asshole but… Yeah, not everyone is attractive, and pretending that everyone is just perpetuates the idea that being attractive is the only important thing. Giving people the chance to feel good about things other than their appearance is the fastest way to make it not matter so much anymore", ">\n\nThis part right here. Don't set them up for failure. Don't tell them lies.", ">\n\nYour comment from r/unpopularopinion has been removed because of: 'Rule 4: Be civil'.", ">\n\nAttractiveness is highly subjective. Fat ≠ ugly and no one should teach their kids to base their self worth on what strangers think about the way they look. Do you know what kind of damage you can do to an adolescent by shattering their confidence unprovoked? Goofy", ">\n\nAlso go to YouTube and look up joe bidens characteristics of beauty and then ask yourself if a crazy old man should be talking about what beauty is", ">\n\n-Hey son you are ugly", ">\n\nOh oh someone is salty today..", ">\n\nStraight Chad.", ">\n\nI’m sorry, but ‘never tell a kid they’re pretty because you’re placing value on their physical appearance’ is such a deeply online take. It should never be the focus of a large portion of your compliments, but there’s nothing wrong with a parent telling a kid they’re pretty. An ugly kid will get bullied regardless of whether or not their parent considers them beautiful. Shouldn’t they be allowed to have at least a single safe space where someone considers them beautiful? How horrible is it when even your own parent thinks you’re ugly and won’t compliment your appearance? 💀\nMost people aren’t neutral about their appearance. That’s just the world we live in. You should absolutely prioritize other things when complimenting a child, but it’s okay to tell them they’re pretty ffs.", ">\n\ni think my parents did a really great job in this department. they were always very on me and my brothers about what we could control. shower, brush your teeth, etc. those things alone make everyone look better. on top of that, they were pretty on us with what we wore (in a good way). they always said we were good looking, but they never told us anything ridiculous. they always said that looks mostly come from attitudes. an ugly person smiling is a lot better looking than a beautiful person crying.", ">\n\nBeauty is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, though. In other words, you're wrong.", ">\n\nWhy blame parents? Just bring back bullying.", ">\n\nI feel like your parents made you think you’re the smartest person on earth", ">\n\nThat’s the snowflake generation for you, sadly I’m a part of that generation what a shame", ">\n\nBeauty is also subjective though. I mean, yeah if your kid is overweight, encourage them with getting more in shape but you can't crush them. It's a fine balance to keep.", ">\n\nI always tell my son (8.5 months) how smart and how funny he is, I will tell him how handsome he is from time to time. I never make it about his looks.", ">\n\nParents should emphasize their child in what they are good at, achievements they complete, and support non school related activities the kid is interested in. Basing praise on looks isn’t very good for anyone.", ">\n\nUgly people have succeeded - Julie Kavner does the voice of Marge Simpson on the Simpsons and isn‘t a heck of a lot pretty. She walks with a slouch, but if she had better posture and wore the right makeup she could be an ok looking girl. But she’ll never be a raving beauty. Everybody told Barbra Streisand she wouldn’t be successful because she wasn’t that pretty. \nThe right thing to say is even if they’re not beautiful, they can still be happy and successful.", ">\n\nI sort of agree, but only because I always found it extremely annoying as hell whenever my parents would call me handsome even though I'm a solid 3.5/10", ">\n\nMy dad who rated me a 2/10 in front of my mom (who rated me a 6/10):\nviolently shakes head till neck breaks in agreement.", ">\n\nSame goes for people with catastrophic physical deformities.\nOn every Facebook post about a person with some kind of facial deformity, like half a head, or a face that looks like someone played ‘pin the facial features on the human’, there are too many comments saying how beautiful the person is, that they are ‘a gift from God’ and blah blah.\nThat ain’t a ‘gift’. It’s a curse, and there’s no sense in saying someone is oh so beautiful when everyone freaks the fuck out when they show their face in public.", ">\n\nTo be honest I am not sure who anyone is to tell another person they are ugly. One person can find something ugly whilst another see the beauty I that person. Maybe stop posting judgemental shit", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective. What you like others may not. None of us know what is universally beautiful or ugly as there is no such standard. It is in the eye of the beholder.", ">\n\nI beg to differ but if that child is ugly in world's standard then why would a parent should see his own child that way? Aren't you thinking what the child would feel? There is no way you could say to a child that he is ugly by not hurting his feelings. If it is once said, it could forever left a mark and could damage how the child see himself in the long run.\nJust so you know world's standard of beauty is fleeting. What is beautiful today, won't be tomorrow.", ">\n\nHonestly if they are ugly just tell them that they are the most despicable looking thing ever and that it's really personality they should go for and that people will only love them if they can accomplish something useful. Only jokes\ndon't tell your kid that let them figure it out on their own they will eventually find out. Besides pretty people tend to be dumber anyhow because they don't need intelligence to survive. They have looks.", ">\n\nbeing fat is not ugly tought, just make excersice is not that hard...", ">\n\nAgreed, but I'd add that we shouldn't be making any child think that their looks make them God's gift to everyone on earth. This applies to beautiful kids too.", ">\n\nMy kid is definitely the most beautiful child on Earth and I will absolutely die on that hill.", ">\n\nCouple of things. \n\nThere is no objective truth. “Ugly” is subjective and completely a matter of self perception. There are zero objective facts we could rely on to say one person is more “beautiful” than another who is “ugly.” These concepts simply don’t exist. \nMillennials are the “if you think it, it must be true” generation so if you want to bitch to anyone, bitch to them. \nEveryone is the most beautiful person in the world. Everyone is special and wonderful.", ">\n\nBeauty is subjective", ">\n\n...in the long run", ">\n\n\"You can play a lot of night games.\"", ">\n\nPlease don't have kids.", ">\n\nHow can anyone else be the most beautiful person on earth when it’s clearly my son who is the most beautiful person on earth?!" ]

[]

[ "Jealous. Lol. Have had a sonnet sitting in my cart for a while now" ]

[ "Jealous. Lol. Have had a sonnet sitting in my cart for a while now", ">\n\nI was waiting to see what the envoy was all about. I have enough 65% boards for now so I finally snapped and got this. Just waiting for my switches to arrive before I build" ]

[ "Jealous. Lol. Have had a sonnet sitting in my cart for a while now", ">\n\nI was waiting to see what the envoy was all about. I have enough 65% boards for now so I finally snapped and got this. Just waiting for my switches to arrive before I build", ">\n\nIs that a mode sonnet? If so, what build layout did you end up getting? I’m really considering picking it up" ]

[ "Jealous. Lol. Have had a sonnet sitting in my cart for a while now", ">\n\nI was waiting to see what the envoy was all about. I have enough 65% boards for now so I finally snapped and got this. Just waiting for my switches to arrive before I build", ">\n\nIs that a mode sonnet? If so, what build layout did you end up getting? I’m really considering picking it up", ">\n\nYes that’s a sonnet.\nIt’s a ansi soldered pcb with Pom plate. I want to use the top isolation mount but use some foam. \nChose black with multi colour accent bar which is why I am pairing with Gmk Fundamentals (purple and teal like the bar)\nIt’s a little hard to decide as there are so many options." ]

[ "Jealous. Lol. Have had a sonnet sitting in my cart for a while now", ">\n\nI was waiting to see what the envoy was all about. I have enough 65% boards for now so I finally snapped and got this. Just waiting for my switches to arrive before I build", ">\n\nIs that a mode sonnet? If so, what build layout did you end up getting? I’m really considering picking it up", ">\n\nYes that’s a sonnet.\nIt’s a ansi soldered pcb with Pom plate. I want to use the top isolation mount but use some foam. \nChose black with multi colour accent bar which is why I am pairing with Gmk Fundamentals (purple and teal like the bar)\nIt’s a little hard to decide as there are so many options.", ">\n\nWhat's your weight option?" ]

[ "Jealous. Lol. Have had a sonnet sitting in my cart for a while now", ">\n\nI was waiting to see what the envoy was all about. I have enough 65% boards for now so I finally snapped and got this. Just waiting for my switches to arrive before I build", ">\n\nIs that a mode sonnet? If so, what build layout did you end up getting? I’m really considering picking it up", ">\n\nYes that’s a sonnet.\nIt’s a ansi soldered pcb with Pom plate. I want to use the top isolation mount but use some foam. \nChose black with multi colour accent bar which is why I am pairing with Gmk Fundamentals (purple and teal like the bar)\nIt’s a little hard to decide as there are so many options.", ">\n\nWhat's your weight option?", ">\n\nJust got the default weight. Not worth the upgrade if you don’t get the polycard base" ]

[ "Jealous. Lol. Have had a sonnet sitting in my cart for a while now", ">\n\nI was waiting to see what the envoy was all about. I have enough 65% boards for now so I finally snapped and got this. Just waiting for my switches to arrive before I build", ">\n\nIs that a mode sonnet? If so, what build layout did you end up getting? I’m really considering picking it up", ">\n\nYes that’s a sonnet.\nIt’s a ansi soldered pcb with Pom plate. I want to use the top isolation mount but use some foam. \nChose black with multi colour accent bar which is why I am pairing with Gmk Fundamentals (purple and teal like the bar)\nIt’s a little hard to decide as there are so many options.", ">\n\nWhat's your weight option?", ">\n\nJust got the default weight. Not worth the upgrade if you don’t get the polycard base", ">\n\nSuper jealous" ]

[]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans." ]

[]

[ "I need one and I don't even know what it's for yet" ]

[ "I need one and I don't even know what it's for yet", ">\n\nMagnetic tray for holding mechanical switch parts as you take them apart and put them back together.\nQuack." ]

[ "I need one and I don't even know what it's for yet", ">\n\nMagnetic tray for holding mechanical switch parts as you take them apart and put them back together.\nQuack.", ">\n\nThank you!\nIt's what i'had understood, but I meant I don't even know what my fiancée will use it for, but it's a duck so I have to buy it!\nQuack." ]

[ "I need one and I don't even know what it's for yet", ">\n\nMagnetic tray for holding mechanical switch parts as you take them apart and put them back together.\nQuack.", ">\n\nThank you!\nIt's what i'had understood, but I meant I don't even know what my fiancée will use it for, but it's a duck so I have to buy it!\nQuack.", ">\n\nA friend of mine personally uses her's for when she builds keyboards and alternates it as a jewelry tray as well for her everyday earrings and rings" ]

[ "I need one and I don't even know what it's for yet", ">\n\nMagnetic tray for holding mechanical switch parts as you take them apart and put them back together.\nQuack.", ">\n\nThank you!\nIt's what i'had understood, but I meant I don't even know what my fiancée will use it for, but it's a duck so I have to buy it!\nQuack.", ">\n\nA friend of mine personally uses her's for when she builds keyboards and alternates it as a jewelry tray as well for her everyday earrings and rings", ">\n\nQuack." ]

[ "I need one and I don't even know what it's for yet", ">\n\nMagnetic tray for holding mechanical switch parts as you take them apart and put them back together.\nQuack.", ">\n\nThank you!\nIt's what i'had understood, but I meant I don't even know what my fiancée will use it for, but it's a duck so I have to buy it!\nQuack.", ">\n\nA friend of mine personally uses her's for when she builds keyboards and alternates it as a jewelry tray as well for her everyday earrings and rings", ">\n\nQuack.", ">\n\nSAVE THE DATE!!!🐤 🐤🐤\nDuck Trays will be added to our website on JANUARY 11TH 5:00PM PST. Don't miss out, this is a limited stock run so once we are out, you will have to wait till our next drop to get yours! \nIf you want to stay up to date with new trays to add to your desk in the future, be sure to follow us on instagtam u/magtrays where we post weekly reels on our process and shop updates frequently." ]

[ "I need one and I don't even know what it's for yet", ">\n\nMagnetic tray for holding mechanical switch parts as you take them apart and put them back together.\nQuack.", ">\n\nThank you!\nIt's what i'had understood, but I meant I don't even know what my fiancée will use it for, but it's a duck so I have to buy it!\nQuack.", ">\n\nA friend of mine personally uses her's for when she builds keyboards and alternates it as a jewelry tray as well for her everyday earrings and rings", ">\n\nQuack.", ">\n\nSAVE THE DATE!!!🐤 🐤🐤\nDuck Trays will be added to our website on JANUARY 11TH 5:00PM PST. Don't miss out, this is a limited stock run so once we are out, you will have to wait till our next drop to get yours! \nIf you want to stay up to date with new trays to add to your desk in the future, be sure to follow us on instagtam u/magtrays where we post weekly reels on our process and shop updates frequently.", ">\n\nYou had an opportunity to say \"this is a limited flock\" but chose not to... L marketing" ]

[ "I need one and I don't even know what it's for yet", ">\n\nMagnetic tray for holding mechanical switch parts as you take them apart and put them back together.\nQuack.", ">\n\nThank you!\nIt's what i'had understood, but I meant I don't even know what my fiancée will use it for, but it's a duck so I have to buy it!\nQuack.", ">\n\nA friend of mine personally uses her's for when she builds keyboards and alternates it as a jewelry tray as well for her everyday earrings and rings", ">\n\nQuack.", ">\n\nSAVE THE DATE!!!🐤 🐤🐤\nDuck Trays will be added to our website on JANUARY 11TH 5:00PM PST. Don't miss out, this is a limited stock run so once we are out, you will have to wait till our next drop to get yours! \nIf you want to stay up to date with new trays to add to your desk in the future, be sure to follow us on instagtam u/magtrays where we post weekly reels on our process and shop updates frequently.", ">\n\nYou had an opportunity to say \"this is a limited flock\" but chose not to... L marketing", ">\n\nGreat pun!😂 Well use that for next time🫡" ]

[ "I need one and I don't even know what it's for yet", ">\n\nMagnetic tray for holding mechanical switch parts as you take them apart and put them back together.\nQuack.", ">\n\nThank you!\nIt's what i'had understood, but I meant I don't even know what my fiancée will use it for, but it's a duck so I have to buy it!\nQuack.", ">\n\nA friend of mine personally uses her's for when she builds keyboards and alternates it as a jewelry tray as well for her everyday earrings and rings", ">\n\nQuack.", ">\n\nSAVE THE DATE!!!🐤 🐤🐤\nDuck Trays will be added to our website on JANUARY 11TH 5:00PM PST. Don't miss out, this is a limited stock run so once we are out, you will have to wait till our next drop to get yours! \nIf you want to stay up to date with new trays to add to your desk in the future, be sure to follow us on instagtam u/magtrays where we post weekly reels on our process and shop updates frequently.", ">\n\nYou had an opportunity to say \"this is a limited flock\" but chose not to... L marketing", ">\n\nGreat pun!😂 Well use that for next time🫡", ">\n\nPerfect, you can send the royalty checks to my bank acct /s" ]

[ "I need one and I don't even know what it's for yet", ">\n\nMagnetic tray for holding mechanical switch parts as you take them apart and put them back together.\nQuack.", ">\n\nThank you!\nIt's what i'had understood, but I meant I don't even know what my fiancée will use it for, but it's a duck so I have to buy it!\nQuack.", ">\n\nA friend of mine personally uses her's for when she builds keyboards and alternates it as a jewelry tray as well for her everyday earrings and rings", ">\n\nQuack.", ">\n\nSAVE THE DATE!!!🐤 🐤🐤\nDuck Trays will be added to our website on JANUARY 11TH 5:00PM PST. Don't miss out, this is a limited stock run so once we are out, you will have to wait till our next drop to get yours! \nIf you want to stay up to date with new trays to add to your desk in the future, be sure to follow us on instagtam u/magtrays where we post weekly reels on our process and shop updates frequently.", ">\n\nYou had an opportunity to say \"this is a limited flock\" but chose not to... L marketing", ">\n\nGreat pun!😂 Well use that for next time🫡", ">\n\nPerfect, you can send the royalty checks to my bank acct /s", ">\n\nWill I use it for its intended purpose? Probably not, but i’ll take 3." ]

[ "I need one and I don't even know what it's for yet", ">\n\nMagnetic tray for holding mechanical switch parts as you take them apart and put them back together.\nQuack.", ">\n\nThank you!\nIt's what i'had understood, but I meant I don't even know what my fiancée will use it for, but it's a duck so I have to buy it!\nQuack.", ">\n\nA friend of mine personally uses her's for when she builds keyboards and alternates it as a jewelry tray as well for her everyday earrings and rings", ">\n\nQuack.", ">\n\nSAVE THE DATE!!!🐤 🐤🐤\nDuck Trays will be added to our website on JANUARY 11TH 5:00PM PST. Don't miss out, this is a limited stock run so once we are out, you will have to wait till our next drop to get yours! \nIf you want to stay up to date with new trays to add to your desk in the future, be sure to follow us on instagtam u/magtrays where we post weekly reels on our process and shop updates frequently.", ">\n\nYou had an opportunity to say \"this is a limited flock\" but chose not to... L marketing", ">\n\nGreat pun!😂 Well use that for next time🫡", ">\n\nPerfect, you can send the royalty checks to my bank acct /s", ">\n\nWill I use it for its intended purpose? Probably not, but i’ll take 3.", ">\n\nDidn't know I needed one till now" ]

[]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name." ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion." ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man." ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?" ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that." ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins." ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one." ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet)." ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap." ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap.", ">\n\nThe final season was great! The Dominion War story arc was excellent!!\nThe final season of VOY was so-so. One could tell they were searching for a way to wrap it all up. The Chakotay/Seven thing was a huge swing-and-miss!!" ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap.", ">\n\nThe final season was great! The Dominion War story arc was excellent!!\nThe final season of VOY was so-so. One could tell they were searching for a way to wrap it all up. The Chakotay/Seven thing was a huge swing-and-miss!!", ">\n\nI think that was a last minute idea from Chakotay's actor and the showrunners basically said, \"sure, whatever.\"\nI didn't think it was any worse than the Worf/Deanna pairing out of nowhere in the final episode of TNG." ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap.", ">\n\nThe final season was great! The Dominion War story arc was excellent!!\nThe final season of VOY was so-so. One could tell they were searching for a way to wrap it all up. The Chakotay/Seven thing was a huge swing-and-miss!!", ">\n\nI think that was a last minute idea from Chakotay's actor and the showrunners basically said, \"sure, whatever.\"\nI didn't think it was any worse than the Worf/Deanna pairing out of nowhere in the final episode of TNG.", ">\n\nI was not as big a fan of VOY as I was of DS9.\nEven though VOY show had an ensemble cast, in my opinion, the episodes concentrated too heavily on Janeway, The Doctor, and Seven. \nJaneway was the captain. Her getting a big amount of attention made sense. During The season that introduced Seven, the show might as well had been retitled \"Seven of Nine and Crew.\" \nSupposedly, Garret Wang, who played Harry, and Robert Beltran, who played Chakotay, were at odds with the producers regarding their characters. The rumor was that they were close to leaving the show. Some say the producers punished Garret Wang for his complaining by never having Harry promoted above ensign." ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap.", ">\n\nThe final season was great! The Dominion War story arc was excellent!!\nThe final season of VOY was so-so. One could tell they were searching for a way to wrap it all up. The Chakotay/Seven thing was a huge swing-and-miss!!", ">\n\nI think that was a last minute idea from Chakotay's actor and the showrunners basically said, \"sure, whatever.\"\nI didn't think it was any worse than the Worf/Deanna pairing out of nowhere in the final episode of TNG.", ">\n\nI was not as big a fan of VOY as I was of DS9.\nEven though VOY show had an ensemble cast, in my opinion, the episodes concentrated too heavily on Janeway, The Doctor, and Seven. \nJaneway was the captain. Her getting a big amount of attention made sense. During The season that introduced Seven, the show might as well had been retitled \"Seven of Nine and Crew.\" \nSupposedly, Garret Wang, who played Harry, and Robert Beltran, who played Chakotay, were at odds with the producers regarding their characters. The rumor was that they were close to leaving the show. Some say the producers punished Garret Wang for his complaining by never having Harry promoted above ensign.", ">\n\nSecond place to what, exactly?" ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap.", ">\n\nThe final season was great! The Dominion War story arc was excellent!!\nThe final season of VOY was so-so. One could tell they were searching for a way to wrap it all up. The Chakotay/Seven thing was a huge swing-and-miss!!", ">\n\nI think that was a last minute idea from Chakotay's actor and the showrunners basically said, \"sure, whatever.\"\nI didn't think it was any worse than the Worf/Deanna pairing out of nowhere in the final episode of TNG.", ">\n\nI was not as big a fan of VOY as I was of DS9.\nEven though VOY show had an ensemble cast, in my opinion, the episodes concentrated too heavily on Janeway, The Doctor, and Seven. \nJaneway was the captain. Her getting a big amount of attention made sense. During The season that introduced Seven, the show might as well had been retitled \"Seven of Nine and Crew.\" \nSupposedly, Garret Wang, who played Harry, and Robert Beltran, who played Chakotay, were at odds with the producers regarding their characters. The rumor was that they were close to leaving the show. Some say the producers punished Garret Wang for his complaining by never having Harry promoted above ensign.", ">\n\nSecond place to what, exactly?", ">\n\nStar Wars: magical thinking. Star Trek: scientific thinking trimmed for the values of the time it was aired. This is the choice." ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap.", ">\n\nThe final season was great! The Dominion War story arc was excellent!!\nThe final season of VOY was so-so. One could tell they were searching for a way to wrap it all up. The Chakotay/Seven thing was a huge swing-and-miss!!", ">\n\nI think that was a last minute idea from Chakotay's actor and the showrunners basically said, \"sure, whatever.\"\nI didn't think it was any worse than the Worf/Deanna pairing out of nowhere in the final episode of TNG.", ">\n\nI was not as big a fan of VOY as I was of DS9.\nEven though VOY show had an ensemble cast, in my opinion, the episodes concentrated too heavily on Janeway, The Doctor, and Seven. \nJaneway was the captain. Her getting a big amount of attention made sense. During The season that introduced Seven, the show might as well had been retitled \"Seven of Nine and Crew.\" \nSupposedly, Garret Wang, who played Harry, and Robert Beltran, who played Chakotay, were at odds with the producers regarding their characters. The rumor was that they were close to leaving the show. Some say the producers punished Garret Wang for his complaining by never having Harry promoted above ensign.", ">\n\nSecond place to what, exactly?", ">\n\nStar Wars: magical thinking. Star Trek: scientific thinking trimmed for the values of the time it was aired. This is the choice.", ">\n\nWhy do you boomers always equate Star Wars and Star Trek?" ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap.", ">\n\nThe final season was great! The Dominion War story arc was excellent!!\nThe final season of VOY was so-so. One could tell they were searching for a way to wrap it all up. The Chakotay/Seven thing was a huge swing-and-miss!!", ">\n\nI think that was a last minute idea from Chakotay's actor and the showrunners basically said, \"sure, whatever.\"\nI didn't think it was any worse than the Worf/Deanna pairing out of nowhere in the final episode of TNG.", ">\n\nI was not as big a fan of VOY as I was of DS9.\nEven though VOY show had an ensemble cast, in my opinion, the episodes concentrated too heavily on Janeway, The Doctor, and Seven. \nJaneway was the captain. Her getting a big amount of attention made sense. During The season that introduced Seven, the show might as well had been retitled \"Seven of Nine and Crew.\" \nSupposedly, Garret Wang, who played Harry, and Robert Beltran, who played Chakotay, were at odds with the producers regarding their characters. The rumor was that they were close to leaving the show. Some say the producers punished Garret Wang for his complaining by never having Harry promoted above ensign.", ">\n\nSecond place to what, exactly?", ">\n\nStar Wars: magical thinking. Star Trek: scientific thinking trimmed for the values of the time it was aired. This is the choice.", ">\n\nWhy do you boomers always equate Star Wars and Star Trek?", ">\n\n\"you boomers\" lol, bzzzz, wrong!" ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap.", ">\n\nThe final season was great! The Dominion War story arc was excellent!!\nThe final season of VOY was so-so. One could tell they were searching for a way to wrap it all up. The Chakotay/Seven thing was a huge swing-and-miss!!", ">\n\nI think that was a last minute idea from Chakotay's actor and the showrunners basically said, \"sure, whatever.\"\nI didn't think it was any worse than the Worf/Deanna pairing out of nowhere in the final episode of TNG.", ">\n\nI was not as big a fan of VOY as I was of DS9.\nEven though VOY show had an ensemble cast, in my opinion, the episodes concentrated too heavily on Janeway, The Doctor, and Seven. \nJaneway was the captain. Her getting a big amount of attention made sense. During The season that introduced Seven, the show might as well had been retitled \"Seven of Nine and Crew.\" \nSupposedly, Garret Wang, who played Harry, and Robert Beltran, who played Chakotay, were at odds with the producers regarding their characters. The rumor was that they were close to leaving the show. Some say the producers punished Garret Wang for his complaining by never having Harry promoted above ensign.", ">\n\nSecond place to what, exactly?", ">\n\nStar Wars: magical thinking. Star Trek: scientific thinking trimmed for the values of the time it was aired. This is the choice.", ">\n\nWhy do you boomers always equate Star Wars and Star Trek?", ">\n\n\"you boomers\" lol, bzzzz, wrong!", ">\n\nYeah YOU don't have any anger problems......" ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap.", ">\n\nThe final season was great! The Dominion War story arc was excellent!!\nThe final season of VOY was so-so. One could tell they were searching for a way to wrap it all up. The Chakotay/Seven thing was a huge swing-and-miss!!", ">\n\nI think that was a last minute idea from Chakotay's actor and the showrunners basically said, \"sure, whatever.\"\nI didn't think it was any worse than the Worf/Deanna pairing out of nowhere in the final episode of TNG.", ">\n\nI was not as big a fan of VOY as I was of DS9.\nEven though VOY show had an ensemble cast, in my opinion, the episodes concentrated too heavily on Janeway, The Doctor, and Seven. \nJaneway was the captain. Her getting a big amount of attention made sense. During The season that introduced Seven, the show might as well had been retitled \"Seven of Nine and Crew.\" \nSupposedly, Garret Wang, who played Harry, and Robert Beltran, who played Chakotay, were at odds with the producers regarding their characters. The rumor was that they were close to leaving the show. Some say the producers punished Garret Wang for his complaining by never having Harry promoted above ensign.", ">\n\nSecond place to what, exactly?", ">\n\nStar Wars: magical thinking. Star Trek: scientific thinking trimmed for the values of the time it was aired. This is the choice.", ">\n\nWhy do you boomers always equate Star Wars and Star Trek?", ">\n\n\"you boomers\" lol, bzzzz, wrong!", ">\n\nYeah YOU don't have any anger problems......", ">\n\nDon't reply anymore. Log off reddit and go outside" ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap.", ">\n\nThe final season was great! The Dominion War story arc was excellent!!\nThe final season of VOY was so-so. One could tell they were searching for a way to wrap it all up. The Chakotay/Seven thing was a huge swing-and-miss!!", ">\n\nI think that was a last minute idea from Chakotay's actor and the showrunners basically said, \"sure, whatever.\"\nI didn't think it was any worse than the Worf/Deanna pairing out of nowhere in the final episode of TNG.", ">\n\nI was not as big a fan of VOY as I was of DS9.\nEven though VOY show had an ensemble cast, in my opinion, the episodes concentrated too heavily on Janeway, The Doctor, and Seven. \nJaneway was the captain. Her getting a big amount of attention made sense. During The season that introduced Seven, the show might as well had been retitled \"Seven of Nine and Crew.\" \nSupposedly, Garret Wang, who played Harry, and Robert Beltran, who played Chakotay, were at odds with the producers regarding their characters. The rumor was that they were close to leaving the show. Some say the producers punished Garret Wang for his complaining by never having Harry promoted above ensign.", ">\n\nSecond place to what, exactly?", ">\n\nStar Wars: magical thinking. Star Trek: scientific thinking trimmed for the values of the time it was aired. This is the choice.", ">\n\nWhy do you boomers always equate Star Wars and Star Trek?", ">\n\n\"you boomers\" lol, bzzzz, wrong!", ">\n\nYeah YOU don't have any anger problems......", ">\n\nDon't reply anymore. Log off reddit and go outside", ">\n\nI'm already outside, say you're pretty bad at assuming things about people!" ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap.", ">\n\nThe final season was great! The Dominion War story arc was excellent!!\nThe final season of VOY was so-so. One could tell they were searching for a way to wrap it all up. The Chakotay/Seven thing was a huge swing-and-miss!!", ">\n\nI think that was a last minute idea from Chakotay's actor and the showrunners basically said, \"sure, whatever.\"\nI didn't think it was any worse than the Worf/Deanna pairing out of nowhere in the final episode of TNG.", ">\n\nI was not as big a fan of VOY as I was of DS9.\nEven though VOY show had an ensemble cast, in my opinion, the episodes concentrated too heavily on Janeway, The Doctor, and Seven. \nJaneway was the captain. Her getting a big amount of attention made sense. During The season that introduced Seven, the show might as well had been retitled \"Seven of Nine and Crew.\" \nSupposedly, Garret Wang, who played Harry, and Robert Beltran, who played Chakotay, were at odds with the producers regarding their characters. The rumor was that they were close to leaving the show. Some say the producers punished Garret Wang for his complaining by never having Harry promoted above ensign.", ">\n\nSecond place to what, exactly?", ">\n\nStar Wars: magical thinking. Star Trek: scientific thinking trimmed for the values of the time it was aired. This is the choice.", ">\n\nWhy do you boomers always equate Star Wars and Star Trek?", ">\n\n\"you boomers\" lol, bzzzz, wrong!", ">\n\nYeah YOU don't have any anger problems......", ">\n\nDon't reply anymore. Log off reddit and go outside", ">\n\nI'm already outside, say you're pretty bad at assuming things about people!", ">\n\nI hope you aren't talking about Star Wars 1-3." ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap.", ">\n\nThe final season was great! The Dominion War story arc was excellent!!\nThe final season of VOY was so-so. One could tell they were searching for a way to wrap it all up. The Chakotay/Seven thing was a huge swing-and-miss!!", ">\n\nI think that was a last minute idea from Chakotay's actor and the showrunners basically said, \"sure, whatever.\"\nI didn't think it was any worse than the Worf/Deanna pairing out of nowhere in the final episode of TNG.", ">\n\nI was not as big a fan of VOY as I was of DS9.\nEven though VOY show had an ensemble cast, in my opinion, the episodes concentrated too heavily on Janeway, The Doctor, and Seven. \nJaneway was the captain. Her getting a big amount of attention made sense. During The season that introduced Seven, the show might as well had been retitled \"Seven of Nine and Crew.\" \nSupposedly, Garret Wang, who played Harry, and Robert Beltran, who played Chakotay, were at odds with the producers regarding their characters. The rumor was that they were close to leaving the show. Some say the producers punished Garret Wang for his complaining by never having Harry promoted above ensign.", ">\n\nSecond place to what, exactly?", ">\n\nStar Wars: magical thinking. Star Trek: scientific thinking trimmed for the values of the time it was aired. This is the choice.", ">\n\nWhy do you boomers always equate Star Wars and Star Trek?", ">\n\n\"you boomers\" lol, bzzzz, wrong!", ">\n\nYeah YOU don't have any anger problems......", ">\n\nDon't reply anymore. Log off reddit and go outside", ">\n\nI'm already outside, say you're pretty bad at assuming things about people!", ">\n\nI hope you aren't talking about Star Wars 1-3.", ">\n\nThe prequels?" ]

[ "They aren't even competing. SW is a space opera action film series while ST is more interested in showing a version of the future. And exploring more philosophical questions in a campy way even though this sometimes falls flat. \nThe only thing they have in common is that they take place in space and have star in their name.", ">\n\nYes but that is where they both fall flat. Star wars. Too much emotion. Star Trek . No emotion.", ">\n\n\nStar Trek . No emotion.\n\nThis guy has clearly never seen The Inner Light or Measure of a Man.", ">\n\nI'm definitely a SW guy and not a ST fan. But how can you form a single-lined opinion on SW acting when it can be as good as Andor / Rogue One and, at the same time, as catastrophic as Obi Wan / Book of Bobba Fett / Solo?", ">\n\nFor the original Star Trek, that's just the way actors were told to act back then. Everything was overly dramatic and hammy. Thankfully we've gotten away from that.", ">\n\nI really feel the TNG series and DS9 suffered from this as well. It was throughtout but yes mostly the first seasons of both shows actors seemed somehow like stand ins.", ">\n\nThis is why I really don't like old movies. Back in the 60's when the show came out and even before, the acting in TV shows and movies was so over the top. Every sentence was over dramatized. I was too young to really understand the original but I remember watching it with my dad because he loved it. I think TNG was kind of ground breaking in its way. I really enjoyed that one.", ">\n\nI think most of Star Trek has good acting, especially considering the time it was made. You have to consider that it was made in a time when episodes were filmed weekly with a time crunch. They didn't have as much time as movies to get everything perfect. And even then, it has better acting than the Star Wars prequels.\nNew Star Trek has even better acting, but other than Strange New Worlds, I think the writing is pretty bad. (Haven't seen the animated shows yet).", ">\n\nThe original series had some hammy acting, but I don't think it detracts from any of the core concepts. Usually.\nDS9's problem was less the bloat and more that the final two seasons got completely derailed by a new writing team who churned out some really dumb crap.", ">\n\nThe final season was great! The Dominion War story arc was excellent!!\nThe final season of VOY was so-so. One could tell they were searching for a way to wrap it all up. The Chakotay/Seven thing was a huge swing-and-miss!!", ">\n\nI think that was a last minute idea from Chakotay's actor and the showrunners basically said, \"sure, whatever.\"\nI didn't think it was any worse than the Worf/Deanna pairing out of nowhere in the final episode of TNG.", ">\n\nI was not as big a fan of VOY as I was of DS9.\nEven though VOY show had an ensemble cast, in my opinion, the episodes concentrated too heavily on Janeway, The Doctor, and Seven. \nJaneway was the captain. Her getting a big amount of attention made sense. During The season that introduced Seven, the show might as well had been retitled \"Seven of Nine and Crew.\" \nSupposedly, Garret Wang, who played Harry, and Robert Beltran, who played Chakotay, were at odds with the producers regarding their characters. The rumor was that they were close to leaving the show. Some say the producers punished Garret Wang for his complaining by never having Harry promoted above ensign.", ">\n\nSecond place to what, exactly?", ">\n\nStar Wars: magical thinking. Star Trek: scientific thinking trimmed for the values of the time it was aired. This is the choice.", ">\n\nWhy do you boomers always equate Star Wars and Star Trek?", ">\n\n\"you boomers\" lol, bzzzz, wrong!", ">\n\nYeah YOU don't have any anger problems......", ">\n\nDon't reply anymore. Log off reddit and go outside", ">\n\nI'm already outside, say you're pretty bad at assuming things about people!", ">\n\nI hope you aren't talking about Star Wars 1-3.", ">\n\nThe prequels?", ">\n\nMight be my age/the fact I watched ep 4-6 in my childhood, but I think those are a lot better than 1-3 (the ones they made later). I can see someone ranking the original SW trilogy above ST, but not the others. Even then, I don't think you can *really* compare the 2. They are very different." ]

[]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out" ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason." ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason.", ">\n\nAs subjective as this topic is, I'm going with Hitch. Cute, fun, silly ,easy. That's the Will Smith I grew up with." ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason.", ">\n\nAs subjective as this topic is, I'm going with Hitch. Cute, fun, silly ,easy. That's the Will Smith I grew up with.", ">\n\nCan an opinion not be subjective?" ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason.", ">\n\nAs subjective as this topic is, I'm going with Hitch. Cute, fun, silly ,easy. That's the Will Smith I grew up with.", ">\n\nCan an opinion not be subjective?", ">\n\nIt always is" ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason.", ">\n\nAs subjective as this topic is, I'm going with Hitch. Cute, fun, silly ,easy. That's the Will Smith I grew up with.", ">\n\nCan an opinion not be subjective?", ">\n\nIt always is", ">\n\nRewatched it last year: fucking terrible movie. I think Smith is incredibly overated, but his best performance is absolutely Ali." ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason.", ">\n\nAs subjective as this topic is, I'm going with Hitch. Cute, fun, silly ,easy. That's the Will Smith I grew up with.", ">\n\nCan an opinion not be subjective?", ">\n\nIt always is", ">\n\nRewatched it last year: fucking terrible movie. I think Smith is incredibly overated, but his best performance is absolutely Ali.", ">\n\nIdk man I am Legend is pretty up there" ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason.", ">\n\nAs subjective as this topic is, I'm going with Hitch. Cute, fun, silly ,easy. That's the Will Smith I grew up with.", ">\n\nCan an opinion not be subjective?", ">\n\nIt always is", ">\n\nRewatched it last year: fucking terrible movie. I think Smith is incredibly overated, but his best performance is absolutely Ali.", ">\n\nIdk man I am Legend is pretty up there", ">\n\nIMO The pursuit of happyness is way better" ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason.", ">\n\nAs subjective as this topic is, I'm going with Hitch. Cute, fun, silly ,easy. That's the Will Smith I grew up with.", ">\n\nCan an opinion not be subjective?", ">\n\nIt always is", ">\n\nRewatched it last year: fucking terrible movie. I think Smith is incredibly overated, but his best performance is absolutely Ali.", ">\n\nIdk man I am Legend is pretty up there", ">\n\nIMO The pursuit of happyness is way better", ">\n\nI don't think this is necessarily unpopular. It was one of his best performances." ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason.", ">\n\nAs subjective as this topic is, I'm going with Hitch. Cute, fun, silly ,easy. That's the Will Smith I grew up with.", ">\n\nCan an opinion not be subjective?", ">\n\nIt always is", ">\n\nRewatched it last year: fucking terrible movie. I think Smith is incredibly overated, but his best performance is absolutely Ali.", ">\n\nIdk man I am Legend is pretty up there", ">\n\nIMO The pursuit of happyness is way better", ">\n\nI don't think this is necessarily unpopular. It was one of his best performances.", ">\n\nI thought it was meh, generic American badass cop movie. I thought the action was well done though. Sometimes I like to turn off my brain and watch dumb movies or anime, or watch them to gather ideas and start making my own mini movie/show in my head." ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason.", ">\n\nAs subjective as this topic is, I'm going with Hitch. Cute, fun, silly ,easy. That's the Will Smith I grew up with.", ">\n\nCan an opinion not be subjective?", ">\n\nIt always is", ">\n\nRewatched it last year: fucking terrible movie. I think Smith is incredibly overated, but his best performance is absolutely Ali.", ">\n\nIdk man I am Legend is pretty up there", ">\n\nIMO The pursuit of happyness is way better", ">\n\nI don't think this is necessarily unpopular. It was one of his best performances.", ">\n\nI thought it was meh, generic American badass cop movie. I thought the action was well done though. Sometimes I like to turn off my brain and watch dumb movies or anime, or watch them to gather ideas and start making my own mini movie/show in my head.", ">\n\nAs far as Will Smith goes, I thought \"Hancock\" was a pretty good movie." ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason.", ">\n\nAs subjective as this topic is, I'm going with Hitch. Cute, fun, silly ,easy. That's the Will Smith I grew up with.", ">\n\nCan an opinion not be subjective?", ">\n\nIt always is", ">\n\nRewatched it last year: fucking terrible movie. I think Smith is incredibly overated, but his best performance is absolutely Ali.", ">\n\nIdk man I am Legend is pretty up there", ">\n\nIMO The pursuit of happyness is way better", ">\n\nI don't think this is necessarily unpopular. It was one of his best performances.", ">\n\nI thought it was meh, generic American badass cop movie. I thought the action was well done though. Sometimes I like to turn off my brain and watch dumb movies or anime, or watch them to gather ideas and start making my own mini movie/show in my head.", ">\n\nAs far as Will Smith goes, I thought \"Hancock\" was a pretty good movie.", ">\n\nIt was good but the whole wife thing killed it for me" ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason.", ">\n\nAs subjective as this topic is, I'm going with Hitch. Cute, fun, silly ,easy. That's the Will Smith I grew up with.", ">\n\nCan an opinion not be subjective?", ">\n\nIt always is", ">\n\nRewatched it last year: fucking terrible movie. I think Smith is incredibly overated, but his best performance is absolutely Ali.", ">\n\nIdk man I am Legend is pretty up there", ">\n\nIMO The pursuit of happyness is way better", ">\n\nI don't think this is necessarily unpopular. It was one of his best performances.", ">\n\nI thought it was meh, generic American badass cop movie. I thought the action was well done though. Sometimes I like to turn off my brain and watch dumb movies or anime, or watch them to gather ideas and start making my own mini movie/show in my head.", ">\n\nAs far as Will Smith goes, I thought \"Hancock\" was a pretty good movie.", ">\n\nIt was good but the whole wife thing killed it for me", ">\n\nLegit. Shoulda just stuck with the drunk superman and give him some kind of weird villian to deal with. The movie dies after the sister thing." ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason.", ">\n\nAs subjective as this topic is, I'm going with Hitch. Cute, fun, silly ,easy. That's the Will Smith I grew up with.", ">\n\nCan an opinion not be subjective?", ">\n\nIt always is", ">\n\nRewatched it last year: fucking terrible movie. I think Smith is incredibly overated, but his best performance is absolutely Ali.", ">\n\nIdk man I am Legend is pretty up there", ">\n\nIMO The pursuit of happyness is way better", ">\n\nI don't think this is necessarily unpopular. It was one of his best performances.", ">\n\nI thought it was meh, generic American badass cop movie. I thought the action was well done though. Sometimes I like to turn off my brain and watch dumb movies or anime, or watch them to gather ideas and start making my own mini movie/show in my head.", ">\n\nAs far as Will Smith goes, I thought \"Hancock\" was a pretty good movie.", ">\n\nIt was good but the whole wife thing killed it for me", ">\n\nLegit. Shoulda just stuck with the drunk superman and give him some kind of weird villian to deal with. The movie dies after the sister thing.", ">\n\n“Bright” I thought was fairly well done. It was definitely dystopian enough." ]

[ "Lol I don’t know why this amused me, maybe just so random and obscure an opinion. \nI saw iRobot once when it first came out", ">\n\nAnd only once. For good reason.", ">\n\nAs subjective as this topic is, I'm going with Hitch. Cute, fun, silly ,easy. That's the Will Smith I grew up with.", ">\n\nCan an opinion not be subjective?", ">\n\nIt always is", ">\n\nRewatched it last year: fucking terrible movie. I think Smith is incredibly overated, but his best performance is absolutely Ali.", ">\n\nIdk man I am Legend is pretty up there", ">\n\nIMO The pursuit of happyness is way better", ">\n\nI don't think this is necessarily unpopular. It was one of his best performances.", ">\n\nI thought it was meh, generic American badass cop movie. I thought the action was well done though. Sometimes I like to turn off my brain and watch dumb movies or anime, or watch them to gather ideas and start making my own mini movie/show in my head.", ">\n\nAs far as Will Smith goes, I thought \"Hancock\" was a pretty good movie.", ">\n\nIt was good but the whole wife thing killed it for me", ">\n\nLegit. Shoulda just stuck with the drunk superman and give him some kind of weird villian to deal with. The movie dies after the sister thing.", ">\n\n“Bright” I thought was fairly well done. It was definitely dystopian enough.", ">\n\nDid anyone else think OP was making an oath?" ]