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SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Sometimes my dad's company can be dicks.
POST: As you all know it is fathers day this weekend. My dad has lived in northern California for 7 years and I in southern California. When I went up for school up in NorCal I was able to see him much more, but once summer break started and I went back down to SoCal I haven't seen him for a month. So as a surprise my stepmom booked a flight for me this weekend because she said that my dad was feeling neglected.
I get a call yesterday that he will be working in Montana and won't be home for the weekend seeing that it's a $800 round trip and his company won't fly him home at that price.
Since I planned on bringing something up from my sister and me being there as a fathers day gift, there is no time to send something up to him.
TL;DR: | going to surprise dad for fathers day, work sends him out of town for the weekend and now there isn't time to get him anything not even a card. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [23M] uses WAYYYY too much cologne. How can I [22F] save my nostrils and get him to stop?
POST: Hi Reddit, this is a pretty small problem in the grand scheme of things, but any advice is still appreciated!
Alex and I have been together for 3 wonderful months. We had the same friend group in university but only grew close after graduation, and started dating a few months ago. Everything has been smooth sailing except for the fact that his aroma is so strong that it clings to everything he touches. If I leave a sweater at his apartment it'll come back reeking of Acqua di whatever. My bedsheets smell like cologne. I smell like cologne after we hang out. It's driving me insane. I don't think I'm particularly sensitive to scents, as other people have been pointing this out too.
It's bizarre because I can't remember him smelling particularly strongly before - we used to only hang out in group settings at parties so maybe that dissipated it a bit? But since we started getting closer it's been getting noxious.
I was over at his apartment once before date night and he was getting ready, and I witnessed him put on 7 sprays of cologne. He misted it in the air and walked through it, and also did a few sprays in the bathroom after his shower the next morning (nooooo). The scent on his body eventually fades out (or maybe I just get used to it?) but freshly applied it is very hard to get close to him. I've tried mentioning it to him gently a few times and he also looks confused and says that he hasn't noticed it smelling too strongly, but then he does it again the next time!
Help me! How do I bring this up without sounding like a bitch? He does smell quite nice once the scent has finished punching me in the face, but I'm not sure if I can live like this much longer.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend puts on way too much cologne and it's driving me crazy. How do I bring this up tactfully? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22F] mom [49f] had surgery yesterday, and didn't tell me.
POST: Yesterday was my mom's birthday, and for the first time in three years we were on speaking terms on her actual birthday. Two days ago I spoke to her and my sisters over facetime. I currently live in Utah and am going to be visiting them in Texas on the 18th, so we mainly talked about our plans while I'm there.
It wasn't until today when I tried to call my mom, and my sister picked up, that I found out she had surgery and wasn't up for talking. She tried to reassure me by saying that it was a small surgery, but a surgery can still have something happen, no matter how small. I was so angry at my sisters and mom for not telling me, that I didn't even bother telling her happy birthday, I just hung up the phone.
Even though I no longer live with them I feel like I still should be told when something as major as surgery is going to happen. Now I'm heartbroken because after that short conversation with my sister, no one has contacted me. I know my mom needs to be taken care of, but I feel like just when we were starting to trust each other I get a slap across the face. Am I being selfish for wanting at least some acknowledgement? Should I just suck it up and just forget about all of this?
TL;DR: | I found out on my mom's birthday that she had surgery from my sister. I don't know if I should be feeling this hurt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M18] in relationship with [F17] having problems with her racist parents (0.5 year)
POST: So I'm an 18 year old guy and I've been with my 17 year old girlfriend for about half a year now. We both love each other but there's one problem, her parents. Now I'm East Indian and she's white, and my girlfriend has told me that her parents don't trust me because I'm Indian. They told her that they believe I will hurt her (physically, and I'm not a violent person) and they want her to breakup with me.
She is still living with her parents and therefore still under their rules, so this is quite problematic. I have not met her parent's (so they're judging me before even meeting me) but I was thinking of meeting them with my girlfriend and another white friend at a hockey game sometime soon.
So what would be the best way to go about this? We love each other too much to have to breakup over something as stupid as this. Basically I need to know how to make the best first impression possible so they won't hate me anymore. Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | I'm Indian, my white girlfriend's parents think I'll hurt her because of that and want her to breakup with me. Help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Gf [24f] asked me how many girls I've loved. I [25m] lied.
POST: Been together a year, and we recently told each other that we loved each other. Yay, right?
Well, last night, while we were both half asleep, she asks me how many girls I've said that to...I thought back and said, "Do you really want to know?" She nodded, so I said, "Two." She seemed satisfied with the answer, and went to sleep.
This morning, after some breakfast, I realized that I had lied. I said 2 because those were the last two relationships I remember, but now I realize the number is actually 4. What do I do? Do I come clean to her about it?
TL;DR: | gf asked me how many girls I've told them I loved them. I said 2. I realized the number is 4. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How to make new friends in a new university in totally new environment where you don't know a single person?
POST: I'm a M/21 am pretty confident, friendly, and have no anxiety approaching people. Would appreciate some pointers/ example topics that I could use to approach a group of people so I can maintain a conversation with several interesting subtopics, and they would be comfortable welcoming me in their group and new friendships can be forged.
TL;DR: | I'm in a new uni in a new area where I don't know anyone. How would I initiate and maintain conversations with groups who already know each other so that I can make new friends |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I need to pick up a hobby Reddit
POST: Classes just started for me (first year college student) and there is a ton of time for me to kill in between a few of my classes. Of course I study, and I've been looking into a few clubs, organizations, etc. But, I still wanna be able to take an hour or two just to myself and do something that's just for me. I live off campus, but I want to stay on campus during these times so I don't have to search for parking and what not. I was thinking of taking up drawing in/at random spots on campus, but I'm not the best artist and there isn't usually a ton of interesting stuff to draw. Help! What else can I do for an hour, just for myself?
TL;DR: | I'm a first year college student that wants a personal hobby for an hour or two of my down time. Drawing was an idea, but it's not too exciting. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: The first time I saw this thing...
POST: The first time I saw [one of these] I was sitting on my couch in my boxers watching TV with my wife. All of a sudden I see something out of the corner of my eye run behind the right speaker. I had to convince my wife I wasn't crazy and that there was actually something there and pulled the speaker back just as it crawled up and over my hand. **SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME.** The first time I had ever seen it it crawled up my hand and we equally scared the shit out of one another. It jumped and ran across the living room and stopped. Mid-center. All I had was a near-by polishable work shoe. I picked it up, and crept. Slowly toward it. Does it jump? Does it sting? Does it spray? More importantly WTF is it and how do I kill it? I raise the shoe and SLAM! Legs fly everywhere and all that is left is a gooey pile of funk horror, oozing into my wood floor. My wife thought it was funny as hell. I believe otherwise, still standing in my boxers brushing centipede legs off of my own. Thank God my bits were covered. *jitters
TL;DR: | Reddit, what are your disgusting bug stories? I know you have them out there, what happened to you that made you freak out and remember it for the rest of your life? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Roomate Conflict!!What do i do?
POST: So today four of us moved into a new apartment(4BD). There are two larger bedrooms and two smaller rooms. We all drew ballots. I got first, my friend A got 2nd, friend B got 3rd and C got 4th. So friend A and I decide to take the bigger rooms.
Friend A was away for a couple days, leaving me, B and C to move everyone in. but when we did move in, friend B decided to take friend A's room. One reason i can see that B and I have been living together for a year in a different place and have a lot more stuff and he has a much bigger bed(it almost takes up the entire space of even the bigger room, as its a king size)which i can understand.
when A came back hes obviously livid and i dont know what exactly is going to happen next. at the moment A is off on a walk to cool off...
We've all been best friends for a few years and i feel that this is going to destroy our friendship and become a really bad start to what was supposed to be a great year living together.
What do i do reddit? (Im even considering giving up my larger room so that everyone is just happy with each other and we can forget this ever happened...)
TL;DR: | four friends move into apartment, one friend ninjas other friends room while hes away for a few days, leaving him very VERY angry. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I could really use some help to stop an elderly lady from getting scammed.
POST: So, there is an elderly lady I know who has recently been getting calls from two different 'lawyers', one stating that they are with Advanced Pay, or a similarly titled company, and the other from the attorney general's office of Florida (We live in the Midwest). They call her telling her she has not paid back several loans, and if she does not promptly pay they will contact the authorities and have her arrested. I know she took loans out from a bank a year ago, and has paid them off. I'm fairly confident it is a scam and are trying to bully and take advantage of an elderly lady. While I advised her to call the police, I don't think she will. Aside from contacting the authorities myself, does reddit have any ideas how I can play vigilante? I have the names and telephone numbers of the two individuals who have been calling her.
TL;DR: | Elderly woman is being scammed into paying loans she didnt take out, besides cops, how I can I play vigilante to help her out |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23F] would like some advice on having better communication with my SO [28M] of 7 months
POST: Hey you guys,
My SO and I have been together for about 7 months, and it's great, we have a really good relationship. We chat a lot, and we talk about important stuff, but when it comes to communicating our feelings and desires regarding our relationship, we both have a really hard time. We've both had really bad/abusive relationships in the past and we're both "damaged goods", but we are really close, we support each other and there's definitely a lot of love there.
Neither of us is comfortable having The Talks, but there are issues that need to be discussed, like what kind of relationship are we to have, what we want out of this, basically all the stuff that you're supposed to talk about when you're crossing the threshold between dating and long term relationship.
We have the dedication and the passion parts down, all we need is tackle communication.
Can you guys give us some advice on how to open up to each other?
TL;DR: | Been seeing each for 6 months, we both have trouble with communicating our feelings verbally. We just don't know how. Help please? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Love Quadrangle, yay! (not yay)
POST: (names changed because thats what you do)
Hey r/relationships this is a throwaway (sorry for the rediculous username, im not that creative) because I have friends on reddit and this is mildly embarassing. Everyone in this scenario are high school seniors.
**Here's the situation:**
I like a girl, call her Karen. Karen is best friends with 'Mary' and is also friends with 'Nora'. Karen has told my best friend that she realizes from my flirtation that I like her, and that she also likes me. However, the problem is that Mary and Nora both like me as well, and have both told Karen that they like me. I do not like Mary or Nora as more than friends and really hope that I could possibly be with Karen. However Karen also told my best friend that if it weren't for Mary and Nora liking me that she could see her self with me, but as of now she is supposedly trying to set up Nora and I.
**What I need to know:**
How is the best way to deal with this whole situation. I don't want to hurt Mary or Nora's feelings, as they are both great people, just not people I see myself being more than friends with. I would like to easily, without direct confrontation, "let down" Mary and Nora so to speak and have them not be interested in me anymore. I feel that if that comes to pass then Karen would be open to the idea of a relationship with me.
Corny? Perhaps. I don't know what love feels like but I will say that I have never felt like I do for any girl, like I do with Karen. Please help, thanks!
TL;DR: | I like a girl, she likes me, but her friends like me. If her friends didn't like me we could date. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Red flag. Leave, or wait it out?
POST: I have been crushing on this guy in one of my classes all semester. By luck, we partnered up for a project, got his number, dubbed myself as the leader just so I could get his number. (Sad, I know) Turns out we share a lot of common interests! We have gone out a few times outside of school, met up for a few drinks and celebrated my birthday. Things were great! 3 months of good times were had. Innocent flirting turned to blatant comments of interest in each other.
My friends kind of put him on the spot several times as the night grew late. Ex: "SO, WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT JESS??" Instead of avoiding answering such a question (as most others have in the past), he actually answered with a very heartfelt response. No one I ever dated said so many nice things about/to me, especially on the fly.
Well, he finally kissed me at the end of the night.
The next day I saw him was in class yesterday. The energy was a little off, eye contact and flirting was minimal. He walks me to my truck we share a cigarette, joke about everything we did over the weekend (minus the kiss). We hug and part ways. He starts up his bike, I couldn't take not knowing what the hell that was all about.. So, I walked up to him, waved to turn his bike off and asked him.
Only to find out he just got out of a 7 year relationship at the beginning of the semester. Broken engagement, heart, and the whole shebang. He still talks to her, but "not like that" as he put it. I've been in his position and understand what he must be going through. It's a tough, transitional time. I don't want to be his rebound, cuz we all know that never works out.
There is an obvious connection, beyond physical attraction, between us. He brightens up my day, makes me laugh, smile, blah blah blah. But, he still has feelings for his ex. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Timing has never been my strong suit. It sucks that he has this baggage. I guess my question is... What would you do if you were me?
TL;DR: | Found my dream man, bad timing.. He just got out of 7yr relationship. Hot as hell. I want to date him. HARD. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30F] with my BF [36M) 2 yrs, his ex attacked me, when he asked what happened I told him I got in a car wreck. I want to come clean.
POST: Gosh this is a bit of a whirlwind.
My boyfriend has an ex who is crazy. She hadnt done anything severe enough to constitute a protective order against her to either of us. Just nasty texts, randomly showing up at the gym I go to, etc.
Last night things took a turn for the worse, I got home late around 11ish, as soon as I got out of my car she ran up, scratched my face, slammed my head onto my car, etc. I called the cops and tried to call him several times but he was asleep.
The cops arrested her and she spent the night in jail, was released this morning and there is a temporary order of protection against her for me until we can go to court and get a permanent restraining order in place.
Now to get to why I lied (which I realize was STUPID). A few years ago she falsely accused him of rape, it got him temporarily fired from the fire department until after he was investigated and it turned out to be fake. But it damaged his reputation for quite some time. She has caused a lot of his relationships to fail. Etc.
I love this man, our relationship is AMAZING. And I panicked this morning before I knew what was happening with her legally, I didn't want him to stress about her ruining more things for him unless he had to. I don't know my thought process, maybe after getting attacked by her and being in the hospital talking to the cops clouded my judgement.
I didn't want him to say, breakup with me for my protection unless I knew for sure she would be prosecuted.
Now I'm in this lie that I hate being in. I don't know how to break it to him that I fucked up.
TL;DR: | My BF's ex (34F) attacked me, told my BF I got in a car wreck I want to come clean. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By kicking a random stranger
POST: Unlike many tifu, this actually happened today.
I was walking into a meeting when suddenly I see my friend Helen helping a handicap person out of her car. Helen and I have been long time friends for years, so naturally went up to her and was like, "Hey Helen!" For some reason Helen didn't answer me back or even acknowledge that I was there. I stood behind her for a full minute and asked her if she picked out what college she was going to . Again she said nothing. At this point, the handicap person was out of the car and they started moving towards the building. Trying to get her attention, I kicked the back of her boot and sarcastically yelled, "Helen! Why are you ignoring me?"
Suddenly Helen turned around but her face was completely different and a look of anger and horror went across this imposter's face. It was a complete stranger and I was mortified. Shock began to settle in and I apologized profusely and tried to explain that I thought she was my friend Helen but it was too late...the awkwardness had set in.
The worst part of this story is that when I went into the meeting we had assigned seating and not real Helen and her handicap brother sat across from me and stared at me the whole time...
TL;DR: | Thought I saw my friend and kicked her boots to get her attention. Turned out to be a stranger and is now mortified with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] of 5 months, we just don't work. Help?
POST: So, there's this girl I started seeing in the Summertime, after I broke up with a woman who basically tried to secretly get pregnant by sneaking my swimmers from the condom we'd use (different story, I can talk about it if anyone's bored).
I thought that this new girl seemed interesting, she's beautiful, and she had this energy I liked that really attracted me to her. Fast forward a bit into the future, and I've lost the passion I had for her. She self-inflicts pain to herself to stop being stressed or angry, she seems like she's never happy anymore, she gets upset at me for things that she doesn't even talk about to me. She just gets angry and makes me suffer without knowing what I did. As soon as she tells me what she's upset about, it's usually something that gets solved as soon as she makes the issue clear to me. She basically views the relationship as "who is winning" in visits to each other's houses. She's anti-social, but I'm a social butterfly. I don't know if I really do care as much as I should at this point, I actually feel stress when I talk to her. So, do I stay with her, even with our differences, or if I break up with her, how do I handle it?
I'm at your mercy, Reddit.
TL;DR: | Thought she was a positive, out-going girl, but is the complete opposite and is in love with me, but I don't love her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by passing an off duty police officer
POST: Before I tell this story, I'd like to say that regardless of being pulled over ~14 times before the date of this story, I have zero moving violations on my driving record, which includes speeding tickets.
So this happened probably 4 years ago when I was 17. I was driving home around 8 or 9 pm and like I normally would do, equipped with my $40 radar detector. I drive an 07 VW GTI, which isn't an insanely fast car but definitely encourages a teenager to have irresponsible amounts of fun. I came up behind some type of SUV (think of a nissan pathfinder) going about 5 below the speed limit, so I waited for the hill to crest, and overtook that slow sunumabitch. I distinctly remember wanting to give the other driver lots of space because the road was very straight and there was no reason to cut him off. So downshifted to 2nd, and red-lined the engine; something I would do often because in cars with small turbo charged engines, it allows you to accelerate very fast without actually going too fast for regular "street driving".
So as I rejoined the right lane after making the illegal yet safe pass (the yellow line was solid, regardless of the half-mile arrow straight road) and the guy in the SUV immediately accelerated and high-beamed me obviously trying to read my license plate. I realized what was happening, as a I had a healthy level of paranoia developed from fulfilling my role as a complete dick driving around with my friends on the roads of Massachusetts. Deciding that whoever was behind me was already unhappy with my decision to overtake them over a solid yellow line, I decided to simply shift back down to 3rd gear, accelerate away, and drive the remaining mile to my house where I could then park in my driveway, run inside, and hide. After what felt like a movie scene involving screeching tires and 3 hard 90 degree turns, I turned onto my street, took the final turn before my driveway, and braked just in time to see a police cruiser coming very fast around the turn I had just taken. Lights came on, loud ass siren blip, I was being pulled over in my own driveway.
TL;DR: | the only thing worse than being asked for your license/registration is being asked to shown to your front door where your parents are waiting with their arms folded. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [20 M] don't know what to do with my introvert crush [19 F] 4 months, need advice
POST: Hello, /r/relationship_advice!
4 months ago i met girl that looked like my previous crush, though she has a lot more interesting lifestyle, than previous one. I thought that i like her because of associations of that girl, but now i convinced that it is only visual appearence similarity, internally they're rather different, and i want to get to know her.
As i said, she is introvert, at moment when we met we was at underground artists exhibition. I didn't knew that she had bf at that moment, we exchanged a lot of looks, i guess, i even thought that she likes me. Her relationships with bf was excellent, i was told.
Few weeks ago they broke up, because her bf didn't treat her right. And i know she is in that period, where's she won't dating etc, because they had damn long-time relationships. And now her ex writing to her everyday asking "how can i change?". I trying to write her, but she didn't see my messages. I wrote last one 13 days ago, still not '*seen*'. I can't go out with her either, we're not so close to do that. So i waiting our common friend, so we can go out.
My question: what should i do when we met? I really want to help her, because she in deep depression, and i don't want to stay just shoulder for her, but a whole man who can treat her right.
Ask me details, please.
Also, i'm psychologist myself, so you can speak with me using psychological terms.
TL;DR: | introvert girl in depression because of broke up with her bf, and i want to help her and become a bf possibly |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's one thing that strikes a nerve in you that probably wouldn't annoy most other people as much as it does you? I'll start.
POST: So, I was talking with some of my co-workers after work earlier tonight when we got on the topic of relationships and all that noise. Fast forward about 10 minutes and we start talking about if we have ever cheated on any of our former lovers. Some yes, some no. I usually couldn't care less if you have cheated on anyone in the past, but this guy (who we'll call douche) starts to talk about how he's cheated on damn near every girl he's ever been with. Now like I said before, this usually wouldn't phase me, but! This is a guy who spouts religious bullshit every chance he gets and bashes gays whenever the opportunity presents itself, and with my older brother being an engaged homosexual, I already didn't like this guy. So, because I've wanted to punch this guy in the face since the moment I've met him, I call him out on how big a hypocrite he is and his rebuttal was as follows; "Dude, chill. I repent for cheating and everything by going to confession, so it's all good." I was stupefied. The fact that he rationalizes his infidelity by abusing his religion's ability to acquit him of his sins sent me over the edge and made me say something that I regret, but not really. In short, morally reprehensible people chap my ass beyond belief. What chaps your ass, reddit?
TL;DR: | Guy thinks cheating is a-okay as long as he goes to confession, I tell him that I hope he gets AIDS. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Need a temporary place to live
POST: I told my roommate about 4 weeks ago that I wanted to move out and she said fine, I'll move out on the 15th as that's what I was paid up to. Two weeks in I realized that I might not make the deadline as I didn't find a place yet so I told her that I'm still looking but if I don't find a place by that weekend I'll pay till the 30th. That weekend rolls around and I didn't find a place and tell her, and she refused my money saying that I said I was going to move out and that I can't back out and that she already took someone else's deposit. I simply said that I wont be able to move out and left it at that. Jump to yesterday and I remind her that I can't move out the 15th and she flips out. Says that she'll call the cops on me right then and there and that I'm she'll throw my stuff out on the street and that I can't force her to let me stay there. Numerous people have told me what the law says in this situation, that she can't actually kick me out. That doesn't matter if she's a psycho.
I asked around none of my friends have space to let me stay with them for a week or so to find a new place. I have money but I need to save up for a deposit on a new place so a hotel is out. Not sure what to do in this situation.
TL;DR: | I fucked up in finding a place and my roommate flipped out when I told her I wasn't moving out on the exact date I said |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [35 M] SO [35 F] together for 4 months. She kissed another guy and I need perspective.
POST: We've been together for 4 months and things are great - great communication, great sex, we have fun together, the works.
The other day she went to some dance party with a friend of hers, did some xtc and kissed another guy. Fairly consciously too - went back for seconds.
She feels very bad and doesn't want things to end over it. I don't want to be petty about it but cannot shake the feeling I can't really trust her / I'm not right (enough) for her if she can forget about me so easily. It's only 4 months and just her 3rd party of this kind she went to in that time.
I have this sneaking suspicion she needs/wants male attention too much. She's been with many before she & I were in a relationship, and is quite flirty. I can accept all that - her past is her past and flirtiness is normal up to a point. But I demand pure fidelity before I can accept all that, she knows this well, and this event has really shaken my faith.
What can I do to have faith in the future? Or should I give up on it?
TL;DR: | girlfriend & I are nuts about eachother, she kissed another guy, I can't get over it and I need advice/perspective. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My 22F boyfriend 29M has changed, not for the better.
POST: The wonderful qualities I was attracted to him for seem to be gone. At first, he was very kind to me, patient, super sweet. Over the last 2-3 months, he started to act odd. Like spending a solid 50%+ of his time talking about how great he is… healthy self-esteem is great but this has been pretty extreme. He is often critical of me- if I assert myself it makes him angry so I usually just "take it." It's almost like he builds me up to tear me down… that's how it feels.
I've tried to open our communication lines so we can become closer, but he says things like, "I don't know what else you need to know about me."
For whatever reason, it's not working but I really care about this person a lot and at least want us both to learn something from our relationship and part ways as positively as possible. But maybe I'm being too sensitive about it (another thing he berates me for- my "hypersensitivity). Another thing, he likes to "troll" online and in games- but it's not silly memes or playful type trolling. It's carefully calculated trolling that seems to provide him great joy when, as he puts it, his words "crit."
It feels wrong to just give up on this guy who I care for deeply, but the Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde thing scares me. Because his behavior isn't logical to me, I feel as if I don't know him at all. Is there something I'm not seeing?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend isn't very nice to me anymore, is cruel to others too…. maybe I am too close to see that he's got serious issues? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19f] boyfriend [20m] of 8 months recently broke up with me in order to work on himself. Don't understand his reasoning.
POST: So I'm gonna give a bit of background here. We are both in our second year of college and live together with a bunch of our other friends. We started off at the school as just really good friends but things progressed fairly quickly and unintentionally but we both thought the risk of living together and dating was worth it because of the strong attraction between us.
Everything was great for about 7/8 months with no issues with living together or anything and we honestly had the best relationship I could ask for. However, a few weeks ago he dropped the bomb that he wasn't ready for a relationship at all and needed to concentrate on school work.
He mentioned he feels great pressure from his parents to become a lawyer because of his brother being a complete dropout. The day he sprung this on me he said that his parents saw his brother and they were very upset about the way he was choosing to live his life. I don't know whether this is something his parents have put on him because he is the more successful child or whether its just an excuse but he claims that the relationship was perfect and he wishes there was another way but he needs to focus entirely on his academics.
I just don't understand how I cannot be a part of his life despite this. I'm certainly not a difficult girlfriend and wouldn't dream of standing in his way, it's not even like we see each other a lot anyway because of school.
TL;DR: | boyfriend leaves me after a perfect relationship to focus on work. Don't know why and don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: She [F27] wouldn't respond to me [M29] if she wasn't still interested, right?
POST: Ok so this is the second post I've written about this girl this week, sorry to keep bringing it up. She's a busy single mom that I went to school with and ran into at a friend's party. I got her number, we were texting a bit last week and we were going to set up plans to hang out this week. She canceled on me at the last minute and said she would be free 2 weeks from then. I texted her yesterday (2 days after she canceled) thinking she had blown me off for good but she responded in the wee hours of the night to my surprise. She wouldn't respond if she wasn't still interested in hanging out when she said she would be free, right? I hate how I overthink shit!
TL;DR: | girl I thought was blowing me off responded to my text late last night, she wouldn't respond if she wasn't still interested in me right? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33 M] with my Girlfriend[30 F] of 5 months, I think she is getting tired of me.
POST: I've been going out with this girl for about 5 months now. As with most new relationships, it was rainbows and sunshine at first. Now it seems like she may be getting bored with me. Here are some of the things that made me feel this way.
--She often goes out drinking with her coworkers (one of which she told me that she would have gone out with if it wasn't for me) without me, even though she knows I don't drink.
--She spends a lot of time with this specific coworker at her job. (It's her pseudo boss). But even during non-work situations they spend a lot of time together.
--She has this person in her chat circle on her phone and they talk about personal, non-work related things.
--She has had 1-on-1 gelato together with him.
She tells me that she loves only me often.. but it kind of feels like there is something going on here. Now a days, when I ask her things like "What do you want to do", her response is "Whatever you want" or "I don't care". When I touch her body, she seems annoyed more than anything. Just today, she came over to my house and just fell asleep for like 4 hours. We didn't even talk.
I am still very much in love with her. I'm not sure if I should just directly ask her bluntly as she doesn't take well to direct questioning like that.
TL;DR: | I really love this girl, but I sometimes get the distinct feeling that she is settling with me as a partner. Am I just paranoid? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [29M] still hung up over an on/off relationship [22F] that ended badly, not sure if I should call her.
POST: So I posted about this a month ago [here](
Summary: I was seeing a girl for about 7 months until the end of December when she got angry at me for telling her friend we were sleeping together after he asked me.
She stopped wanting to see me saying that we should have talked about it first before telling anyone. I've had a couple of text chats with her since, and spoke to her on the phone last week. She's still angry at me and doesn't want to see me. She said she'll call me this week but she still hasn't.
I believe she didn't treat me fairly and she's angry because I made her look bad since she was leading her friend and I along (that wasn't my intention I was just being honest to her friend because he asked me). Also this friend of hers is chasing her and paying for her/buying her things and she's keeping him around for convenience. It's all very immature and convoluted.
But I still have strong feelings for her and I'm trying to stop myself from contacting her again until she gets back to me if she ever does. I don't know what to do, it's really keeping my mind consumed and I guess part of reason I'm writing this is to let out these emotions without running to my phone. I need some sense knocked into me.
TL;DR: | Girl who I was seeing got angry at me for telling her friend we were sleeping together after he asked me. She hasn't wanted to see me since, I still have strong feelings for her and it's depressing me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my ex bf [21 M] of 2+ years. We've been talking for a while and he blocked me on EVERYTHING.
POST: Basically we met freshman year of college dated for almost 2 years, he dumped me in last March because i would freak out out him things i shouldnt be jealous of (volunteering/lab partners). He deleted me off everything and we didnt talk till the end of this summer.
August we hooked up, and he said he wanted to be with me after that. We went strong for three months, and everything was perfect! I showed no signs of jealousy! last month before finals he broke up with me. It came after a night where i blew up his phone because he went to a party and ignored me the entire time not inviting me either. He blamed it on us not knowing where we'll be when we graduate this spring (hes pre med but hasnt got accepted, and i need to find an internship who knows where for 6 months). I told him I would move where he goes.
We talked everyday after the breakup, snap chatting and talking everyday about life. We both havent had sex with any one but eachother and we have not been seeing others.
We hooked up last friday after talking about it for a while. Everything was fine untill these past two days. I get really angry when he ignores me and tend to send him lots of messages/snaps. He seems to be drunk and just deleted me off ALL social media and blocked me and my number. I can't contact him at all and I don't what's wrong with him. One day hes sooo nice does smilies and responses and all that. Now he is shutting me out.
WHATS HIS DEAL HOW DO I GET HIM BACK
TL;DR: | Ex bf and I have been talking all of a sudden he snaps and deletes me on everything. How do I get him to date me and unblock me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by telling an Asian to look up their name on Urban Dictionary
POST: Of course, this didn't actually just happen today BUT its pretty funny.
When I was in Hong Kong I met a lot of people with weird names, some had taken "English" names, but they didn't make sense or they didn't really get that it wasn't a normal name (ex: Fish, Sparkle, Heave -not joking)
Well I was on a date with a guy named Kong -yes, Kong. He was pretty hot, on the Hong Kong Olympic Soccer Team. His English wasn't so good. Slang and idioms are always hardest to nonnative speakers and I had told several friends there to look slang up on Urban Dictionary, not the literal translation. So I give him this advice as well.
Later we had been drinking and I said something about his name, like I never knew someone who was named Kong (giggle). For some reason, to explain I told him to look up Kong in Urban Dictionary. He was SO UPSET and just mortified that all his life English speakers had associated his name with a big dick!! One of the entries was especially hilarious, saying that "to kong" means slapping someone in the face with you're dick.
He really freaked about it and kept asking me for other names he should go by to introduce himself to "businessmen" I have no idea who these businessmen were going to be but I suggested Richard of course....
TL;DR: | Told someone named Kong to look up his name on Urban dictionary, he was pretty upset with the definition. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: I need a little bit of insight as to where to go from here...
POST: I've been unemployed since July of 2013, after leaving work due to some family issues. Luckily, I've kept my nose to the grindstone and have two job offers at the moment. Here's what I'm working with right now, and what's factoring into my decision:
1st Job: Call center representative for a large company in the US, working as a technical support representative. The base pay I've negotiated is at $24k per year. There's also a good benefits package, which includes a tuition reimbursement (I'm going to be attending online classes during spring of 2014). From what I understand, there's a lot of room for advancement with the company, particularly for those who excel at hitting the goals set by management.
2nd Job: Located in Seattle, WA. Entry level position in a consulting firm, starting pay is $38k. I haven't been given any details about the specifics of benefits, but from what I've looked at (Glassdoor, other employee-based review sites) it's par for similar jobs in the industry. I've been told that I would probably be in this position for roughly 1.5 to 2 years before having a chance to advance within the company. However, being in a larger city presents a possibility of being able to network and be in an area with more job opportunities.
I'd be more comfortable taking the first job, since I'd have a lower cost of living (although a lower salary) and would have guaranteed tuition assistance. Additionally, I'll admit that I don't have enough saved up for a move to a larger city right now and I have some credit card debt to pay down.
TL;DR: | 1.) Take a lower paying job in a city with low costs, pay off some debt and go to school. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the worst thing you ever did/said to a teacher? With respect to 'What is the worst thing a teacher ever did/said to you?'
POST: 7th grade. I was bullied like hell because even though I was completely capable of fighting, I always chose not to in school out of my best interests. so I always tended to let things go, and if said person was serious about fighting, theyd do it after school where thered be noone to hold anybody back or get in trouble. But of course, middle schoolers are stupid and will just come up behind you and punch you in the back of the head, which I experienced several times.
Incident 1: bitch stoner come up behind me, cracks me in the back of the neck with a drum stick. teachers sees it, sends him to principals office.
incident 2: stoner waits till im not looking, clocks me under my ear on the back of the jaw. I manage to restrain myself while he runs off before anyone sees him. I let it go for then, hoping id see him outside of the school and ill confront him there.
incident 3: similar to incident 1, came up behind me and punches me in the back of the neck. I grab him, look at him for a second, and let him go. I then walked straight in the assistant principals office sat down and looked at the wrinkly old bastard sitting in the chair. he asks "what happened?" I say "you know damn well what happened! you assholes always tell me not to fight at school, youll take care of it and youll 'provide a safe and caring learning enviroment' like you make us say every god damn morning in this schools fucked up lie of a mission statement. fuck you and fuck your school!" I get up and leave and walk down the hallway towards the front door and i say "fuck you" to the head principle, the guidance counselors, and the other assistant principle. And basically everyone else on the faculty that fed us this bullshit. I walked right out the front door and called my mom and went home, mowed the lawn, and played x-box for the rest of the day.
TL;DR: | told my entire school faculty "fuck you" and walked out the front door because theyre all a bunch of old farts on a power trip who dont know how to do their jobs |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by accidently lighting my university dorms on fire
POST: Technically never happened today, but earlier this year.
It was just my second day in my university halls/dorms. There were 10 of us (students) living in the same corridor with a shared kitchen, on the ground floor- only problem is that the kitchen required a key to enter.
So I enter the kitchen in the morning to have some breakfast- but discovered that there is no toaster- I assume because it's early in the term, no ones bought a toaster yet. So I decide to toast my bread in the Oven.
I quickly went back to my room to grab my phone, and then realised I had left the keys in the kitchen, with the bread in the oven at full heat. I reach the door of the kitchen, and from the windows I can see black smoke arising, with my keys lying on the table near the oven.
And then the Alarms start going off. I begin to slightly panic and realise that if the keys are found, I'm getting in trouble. So I run around, to the garden facing the back of the kitchen- squeeze myself through the tight windows, grab my keys and get out.
As soon as I leave, I begin to see 100's of people escaping from the building, some in a towel running from their showers, and many firetrucks arriving. They were quick to put out the fire, so thats a relief.
No one still knows what happened or who did it, so I guess all I can say is whew...
TL;DR: | Left bread in the oven. Forgetful me also left my keys in the kitchen, resulting in a mini fire occuring. Everyone evacuated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [26M] was becoming potentially abusive, so I [21F] left. We still live together. How do I cope?
POST: I could really use some advice. I was with this guy for a few months and we live together with two of our mutual friends. Our relationship was great up until recently. He is getting controlling and abusive. We're all on a lease that isn't up until October.
He shoved me recently and that made me leave him. Then today he made threatening comments/gestures like raising his fist at me, saying "I want to smash your fucking face in the wall", then when I said if it happens again I will call the cops he told me slowly to keep in mind it would take them twenty or so minutes to get to the house and how I should really consider not doing that (basically threatening to beat the shit out of me/kill me/not sure). This all started because he got into a debate that turned into an argument with one of our roommates and he was upset that I was siding with her.
I'm not sure what to do. Right now I'm staying at my parents and I'm really upset his behavior has driven me out of my own home. I'm not going to be with him but we're stuck in the predicament of both being on a lease. I don't want to move out and neither does he. What should I do?
TL;DR: | My ex-boyfriend is physically threatening me, we live together, I'm staying at my parents now and I'm not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex-girlfriend [24 F] was my [23 M] best friend
POST: We had been dating 3.5 years, and before that she was truly my best friend. She left me yesterday because she just wasn't in love with me as more than a friend anymore.
The hardest part about everything has been not having her as a friend over anything else. I found out yesterday my uncle has stage 3 cancer, and my mother is an alcoholic and is struggling to keep it together. My ex understands me better than anyone in this world, and we have a long history together as friends before anything else. I want to speak with her about my life so bad, and I want to be able to be there for the big moments in hers, and for her to be there for mine.
Can we be friends again? When can we speak again? I really just don't know whats right and what to do. We both need to move on but I can't see my life without her in it. The hardest part has truly been the loss of friendship more than the loss of a relationship.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend of 3.5 years was my best friend and she left me because she didn't love me. How can we be friends again? And when? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Me, 26F], [Him, 24M]. He broke up with me and is sitting in my living room.
POST: We've been together for almost 5 years.
But, we come from very different cultures. We're two really different people and we've had many communication issues.
Time has come that we must either get married soon, or break up. His visa is expiring in a couple of months. I'm not willing to follow him to a third world country with one of the highest murder rates in the world.
He hasn't kept many of his big promises to me (regarding some significant issues in the relationship). He pretends to listen all the time, while in reality just ignoring me when I talk. I feel like I've become a parrot, repeating myself all the time. We had another fight. He gaslighted me again, like he does during every single fight.
He walked out during the fight... only to come back later to say that he couldn't take this anymore.
Since he lives with me, he's there sitting in the living room, playing on the ps4.
We're not talking to each other.
TL;DR: | He broke up with me. Now, we're ignoring each other while still in the same apartment... I feel lost. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[21F] Boyfriend[23M] of 1.5 years is lying to me about graduating college.
POST: Hello r/relationships. I'm hoping you can give me some advice here. I have been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years now. We live together in an apartment and have two cats. I am not in college, I started working right out of high school. Boyfriend went to college for 5 years and graduated this past December... Or so I thought.
The other day while cleaning, I found a letter addressed to him from his college. I decided to open it (it was already opened) and read it. It was a letter telling him that he wasn't eligible to graduate as he didn't have enough credits. It told him exactly what classes he needed to take to graduate. He didn't go back to school.
In fact, he didn't do anything. He is unemployed. Not actively trying to find a job. He has some money because of reasons I don't want to get into, but not a lot by any means. Probably less than 10k.
He keeps up the facade that he graduated. Lying to my face. All the while I keep encouraging him to try and find a job just so he has SOMETHING. I'm ready to start saving up money and thinking about a permanent place to live. Planning for the future. I feel like he doesn't even care enough to get a job to help me start that.
I love him, and I'm so scared for him. I don't want to take the cats away from him. I don't want to live by myself. I don't want to figure out who takes the bed and the tv. But what am I supposed to do in this situation?
I'm sorry I went on for so long about this. If you have any advice I'd be happy to hear it. Thank you.
TL;DR: | Unemployed, unmotivated boyfriend is lying to me about college, I'm ready to start planning for the future. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33F] with my Best Friend and FWB [40M] best friends for ages, FWB 6 months - Exclusive for 6 mths, he's started dating someone, when do I walk away?
POST: Known the guy for ages, really close friends. About 6 months ago, we hooked up, and have been hooking up once or twice a week ever since.
He went on a date and was open about it, saying we probably can't continue sleeping together if they kept dating. Well he continued dating her, and he continued to flirt and sleep with me. His posts on facebook pictures of their dates. I questioned him a few weeks ago about her, he said - she laughed when he asked her to go serious, and she's dating other guys, so isn't convinced that he's right for her. I interpreted that as 'it's nothing serious and probably will fade away', so allowed him to sleep with me again.
I'm new to dating, was in a really long-terp relationship, and haven't had a fwb before, so I'm not familiar with 'the rules'. When should I stop sleeping with him? Or should I have already stopped, cos he's having his cake and eating it too?
TL;DR: | Haven't had a fwb before, so I'm not familiar with 'the rules'. When should I stop sleeping with him? Or should I have already stopped, cos he's having his cake and eating it too? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] have fallen into the passion trap with my s/o[20F] of 5 months.
POST: Google: The passion Trap for a brief summary.
I have recognized that I am in the passion trap, and don't know what to do/how to fix it. In this situation I am the one down, which is ironic because in my last relationship i was the one up.
My previous relationship was awful. emotionally and verbally abusive, i was the only source of her social life, ect ect.
I've started to notice that I'm doing similar things that she did to me, just to a lesser degree.
I started dating my now girlfriend 5 months ago. I fell hard and fast, in part im sure due to the fact that she was pretty much everything i've ever wanted from a relationship. treats me well, isn't clingy, doesn't demand much.
I've started to become those things, reddit. I'm starting to get clingy. I wonder if she's even interested in me anymore, then realize that's retarded and why would she be with me if she wasn't. Its eating away at my sanity. I want to tell her about this, but i also don't want to scare her off, or make her think this is her problem to deal with. I also feel like if i tell her, it will make her feel guilty for making me feel this way, and fuel the cycle of the passion trap.
I need help guys.
TL;DR: | Old relationship shitty. new one good. too good. fallen for her too hard, starting to get clingy and weird. halp. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I'm gonna be moving in with my boyfriend, but I'm actually dreading it...
POST: Right now, because my boyfriend and I don't see each other much, we don't get sick of each other...We haven't even spent the night with each other yet because I'm always working and I work 7 days a week. Next weekend I'm taking the weekend off and that will be the first weekend we ever spend some real time together.
I'm dreading about what will happen if we move in together, will we get sick of each other and see another side of a person that we won't like?
I know people who have moved in too soon with their bf/gf and they ended up breaking up...but if we eventually get married we'll still have to see each other 24/7.
Should this wait until actual marriage or just still occasionally see each other every now and then for a couple of day straight?
Two people I know moved in with their long-term significant others and they both ended up breaking up. I have yet to meet one person who actually moved in with someone while they are dating and they ended up married. This makes me scared to move in with him right now.
I figure it would be a good thing if we moved in together [he keeps getting excited for that] because it will be easier to see each other after work and it won't be out of anyone's way.
Then I feel like he won't like that I'm a boring person. All I do after work is literally sleep until the next day and get up and do the same thing over again. I'm not sure if he'll like that about me because I'm too tired from working to do anything else.
I just want someone to join me in my life of boredom but I don't know how many people like a boring life of doing nothing but work and sitting at home after.
And I'm trying to save money, too, so we can't go to places too often.
TL;DR: | Have people ever moved in with a long-term significant other before they were married? If so was it good/bad? Is it good/bad? How is it going? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have a massive problem with prejudice and sexism. Help me recover?
POST: Hello,
First off, I'm a 20 year old male. Within my 20 years of life, I've held a belief which is very harmful. It's a belief I've tried to change over the years by subjecting it to various experiments – all of which have failed (so far).
My belief is that all girls are stupid.
I know this is a pretty common belief – especially for sexually frustrated 20-somethings. I think my case is different, though, because I'm *not* sexually frustrated (that's what I say, anyways). I have no problems meeting girls and "hooking up."
Well, I do have one problem, which is that I don't like this lifestyle. I want to find a real connection. I want to be in a relationship with another intelligent human. I want to find someone who can help me grow as a person.
All girls I've met so far have proved to be inadequate for this purpose. I love talking to girls, I love being around them, but I have NEVER met a girl I honestly believed was *truly* smart. I've tried looking, too. I've learned how to go up to attractive girls and talk to them, which has worked relatively well, but they always seem to say something which turns me off completely within 10 minutes.
I understand the problem is entirely on my end. For this reason, I'm desperately looking for a way to change my beliefs.
Recently, I have had an idea which may be able to change this belief.
I realize there very well may be girls who are much smarter than I am. This thought comes from the fact that most guys are pretty stupid, so maybe it's a similar ratio.
Maybe all girls think the same way I do. Maybe all girls think all guys are really stupid. Since I believe I'm smart, I know this belief is incorrect. Therefore, my own belief about girls being stupid might also be incorrect.
This is what I'm looking for – I want to truly believe there are smart girls out there. If I don't, I may lose hope entirely.
TL;DR: | I think all girls are stupid. This belief is all my fault and I want to change it. Please help me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [21M]I went for the slam dunk. I walked away feeling awkward, ashamed, and miserable.
POST: 2 of my very good friends are going away for college in a few days so we threw a last minute get together and a going away party. At this party we invited the girl i have been crushing on and flirting with for months.
Me and her share the same sleep schedule. (Sleep during the day and are awake during the night) We end up talking quite a bit .and we have a lot of the same interests. We also flirt physically and with words. Hugs, arms around shoulders and stuff like that.
Well about 2 hours into the party my friends give me the courage to take her aside and tell her how I feel. So I summon all the courage I can muster and just do it. She flirts laughs about it and we talk for a few seconds. She then gets up. I put my arm around her waist and pull her to me. I say i meant what i said i wasn't joking. She laughs and says "I know." I then kiss her.
We do what you could call making out i guess for about 10-15 seconds. She doesnt seem to care then she slowly stops and i get the vibe i had done something wrong. I pull back ask her if i should stop she just shakes her head gets up and leaves. When i say leaves she walks into the next room where everyone is laughs and waves goodbye giving everyone hugs. I catch her alone before she leaves and tell her i am sorry if i made a mistake. She looks at me smiles a kind of sullen smile and says don't worry about it man. That is the last time I saw her.
Now I feel like an idiot, I feel like I fucked up and I feel like no one I know cares or understands what is going on.
TL;DR: | I pour my feeling out to a girl, we kiss for a second, she then stops me and leaves me feeling like an idiot. AM i screwed royally or do I have any chances of rebuilding this relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [M24] GF [F23] of a few months thinks dancing with other random dudes is OK and I don't.
POST: We talked about this today, when she said she was going out with her friend dancing tonight. I asked if you'd dance with another man, and she said yes..
I said I didn't like that, that I find it disrespectful for her to put her body on another man. We didn't really specify the type of dancing, but I kept telling her I don't want your body on a random man when you go out. I asked how would you like it I was out with you, watching you dance on another man? She said she understood where I was coming from, and I said good, you get it then, so why would you do it when I'm not there?
She said she needs a partner to dance, I mentioned your friends, and your girlfriends (since she's going with a girl tonight). She said she'll dance with her girlfriend tonight to keep me comfortable tonight until we discuss it more. I'm fine with that. I also did tell her I want to learn the steps and the moves so we can go dancing together since she said she goes alone to dance when her friends can't coordinate a time.
My previous relationships involved women that knew their way around the dance floor too and this was never an issue with them in the slightest. I actually started learning with a different girl, but forgot since.
We decided to postpone this issue until later when I see her again, it was kinda an early morning talk that we both weren't in the mood for.
TL;DR: | my gf thinks it's OK to put her body on another man while she's out dancing, I don't, and we're butting heads. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] am moving away and don't know if I want to take my girlfriend of two years [22 F] with me.
POST: I've recently been offered a job in another country. The job would start after I finish my degree. I'm in my penultimate year.
I've been with this girl for nearly two years now, and we are very much in love. I don't feel as though I can really respect her intellectually. I'm studying the sciences, and she's an english major. She can recite Shakespeare and knows all the plays in detail. She's wonderful at literature and poetry. She is unable to answer basic science questions, and doesn't have any interest in exploring these topics further. This makes me think that she's not the girl that I want to spend forever with. We get on well and keep each other company. Up until a few months ago I was certain that this was the girl I'd spend the rest of my life with, we'd get married, have a couple of children and live happily ever after.
We do have shared interests, but it's her lack of scientific curiosity that sometimes makes me feel a little bitter about her. This is often just in the back of my mind.
I'm certain that she loves me and wants to be with me forever, wherever we are.
Moving away with her would certainly solidify this bond, we'd have to get married and buy a house.
I can't see any potential relationships in my current friend group. This makes me worried about ending this relationship. I don't know if I'd have enough time to find a partner and whisk her to far off lands.
This is my first relationship, so I don't know how good I have it. Perhaps this girl is better than anyone I'm likely to get in the future and I've struck gold and just don't realise it. Or perhaps she's just meeting the minimum of what it takes to be a good partner. My anxiety is that if I end this I'll never get anything this good again.
TL;DR: | I don't think that my current girl is 'the one', but I don't want to leave her and have nothing. The timing of finding someone new is screwed up by moving for a job in 1.5 years. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My husband (M32) and I (F30) are trying to get pregnant and he keeps telling everyone. And I'm not happy about it. Together 5 years, married 1 year.
POST: So my husband and I recently decided that we were ready to have our first child. It was a huge decision and we are both really excited about it. The problem is my husband is telling everyone. When we made this decision we never agreed that we would tell people, to be fair we never said we wouldn't either. However, I never really liked the idea of sharing this with others. Both of us are the oldest of our siblings, so we already get tons of pressure from both our families about this subject. I didn't want to add any more pressure by telling everyone that we were trying. Not to mention I think it kinda lessens the excitement when we tell them we actually are expecting if they're already asking us every five minutes if I'm pregnant yet.
I'm really upset that he keeps telling his friends and family without talking to me about it first. It also doesn't help that he is doing it when I'm not even there, so I don't even get to share in the surprise and excitement of the people he's telling OUR news to. I know this was a big thing for him and I'm really happy he's excited about it but it really is pissing me off and hurting my feelings. Am I just being too sensitive about this and overreacting? Should I just be happy that he's excited and keep my mouth shut?
TL;DR: | My husband is telling everyone we're trying to get pregnant when we never agreed to tell people and without me even present and it's pissing me off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: A question on weightloss, juicing and the yo-yo-effect
POST: I [23 F] have been losing weight (slowly, but steadily) with eating about 1400 kcal a day and running 3 times a week. My bf recently decided to go on a 10 day juice-only detox and as he doesn't want to do it alone and I'm kind of interested in trying it out once I decided to do it as well.
We're talking only fruit and vegetables, and you can't juice stuff like bananas and avocados, so I guess it would be quite low in calories, maybe 600 to 1000 a day? Now my question is: has someone here tried this out? Can I expect to do this 10-day-detox and afterwards go back to eating 1400 calories and still lose weight? I'm a little worried this might be yo-yo dieting 101.
Thanks for any advice you have :)
TL;DR: | Can I take a "break" from my 1400-calorie diet to do a lower calorie juice detox and go back to 1400kcal afterwards without yo-yoing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by complaining about my wife's iPhone.
POST: So, long story short- Comcast blows so we switched to Verizon. The Verizon guy came today and was doing the install and setup. DVRs, internet, phone, the works. We're shooting the shit and my 2 year old daughter walks in and he asks if she's my only child. I tell him that no, I have 2 others- both boys. I ask if he has kids and he says he's got a 10 and a 13 year old, both boys. Cool.
A little while later he's talking to my wife about my daughter's eating habits and happens to mention that it's hard to get his son to eat new foods because he's autistic. She says something like, "That's got to be tough." He doesn't really go on about it or anything, he just causally mentioned it.
Fast forward about 20 minutes and I'm inputting the router password into our smart phones. It takes significantly longer to do my wife's iPhone than it does my Andriod. When I'm done I'm telling him how I switch to Android recently when we upgraded and I'm going on about how it's way better and everything and he's agreeing with me and all that and then I **fucked up**.
I said something along the lines of, "I just don't know why anyone would want to use the iPhone if they knew how good Android is. Using it is like being retarded or something. I don't know why you'd want to handicap yourself when Android is so much better."
As soon as the words came out of my mouth I wanted to fucking die. He didn't react to it or change his demeanor or anything but I just know that that was some insensitive shit. He did mention again later on that his son was autistic and I think he might have done that in case I hadn't heard him earlier.
Ugh.
Also, he saw that Reddit was my homepage and mentioned The Fappening so I know he's at least a casual user and he could possibly see this. If you do- I'm really sorry, man. I didn't mean anything by it and I feel horrible.
TL;DR: | Verizon guy doing an install mentions his son has autism and then I casually use the word retard right in front of him like a fucking dummy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend (23m) doesn't want to have kids ever in his life. I (21f) absolutely want to have kids someday.
POST: Me and my boyfriend, we are together for two years. We are really close and love each other very much. Our relationship is perfect, but there is one fact that troubles me.
He absolutely doesn't want to have kids ever and me, I always knew that I want to have kids someday.
Without this issue, I could imagine to be my whole life together with him, but if he doesn't change his mind, I don't know if I can live without kids.
Is it worth a good relationship to give up the dream of having kids?
Shall I wait and see if he changes his mind or split up and look for someone, who wants to have kids?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend (23m) doesn't want to have kids. I (21f) am not sure, if I should give up my dream of having kids, just to be together with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my Gf [20F] of 3 months, said some derogatory things about her to my friend when we first dated to my friend, she saw what I said.
POST: i said some horrible things about my GF when we first started dating to my friend on Fb..
I was being a bit of a lad and being derogatory to her, I also said i prefer her house mate.
My Gf found these things I said and is quite rightly so upset.. I have no excuse, it was me being a bit of a 'lad'... i dno, i was sort of showing off i guess...
Any ideas if what i did was normal, and if its even right she take me back. I feel awful. I cant believe I could be so spiteful, and the fact i said these things about a girl i now love. and she is now sitting alone so confused makes me so fucking sad.
What should I do, I dont want to lose her.
TL;DR: | said awful private things about my gf when we were dating to a friend.. she has now found what I said and cant believe I am the same person. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (23 m) tried to break up with (21 f) of 13 months but I caved
POST: My girlfriend recently revealed that she wants kids in the future. I however do not and many fights have occured where im called selfish for not compromising with her and saying yes to kids.
I tried to break up with her yesterday saying that we have different views and I cant keep you from having a child that you want.
She was hysterical saying no and you cant do this to me.
Then she turns around and says its all her familys fault and they were pushing the idea into her head and now she wants to be together and not want kids suddenly.
I caved and said things were fine but I showed no affection.
I dont know if shes lying to me or telling the truth. I dont know why this kid issue was such a huge thing in her eyes before I wanted to break up but now suddenly its not.
I feel pretty weak willed to tell the truth :(
I might seem like less of a man for not sticking to my guns but I dont know why I cave.
TL;DR: | gf wanted kids 100%. I dont ever. Wanted to break it off because its better for both of us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [18f] I'm not sure if I should be concerned about cheating with my bf[23m] and I need opinions.
POST: So me and my bf have been going out for almost 8 months and it has been the best thing to happen to me this year. We're very close and tell each other everything about anything, especially our relationship with our friends. He has a lot of friends that I have never met but he always tells me about them if I'm curious, well except for one.
There is this girl who he started contacting shortly before we were going out that I know he talks to constantly on facebook and skype. I know nothing about her except that the one tine he told me about her he said that he had a huge crush on her for a long time. but this was before we were going out and I haven't heard anything about her since.
I see him talking to her on facebook pretty much every time he gets on. He also talks to her on skype and I've seen him texting her a few times before, but every time I glance at their conversations he'll quickly close out the text or change the tab so I don't see what they are saying. Even on his youtube page he's liked and commented on every video she's uploaded. His friends even mentioned things him and her have talked about that I've never heard of before.
I really want to feel like I'm just being paranoid, and maybe I am, but why would he try to hide a relationship with somebody he is obviously very close with? He always tells me everything that has to do with his life so why would he try to pretend like this girl doesn't exist when I'm around when he seems to tell his friends more about her than his own girlfriend?
Also I haven't mentioned this to him because I don't want to come off as accusing but should I? And does this sound like cheating? If not why would he act like this? Please help me out here.
TL;DR: | My bf tells me everything but hides a relationship he has with a girl he used to have a thing for. And all of his friends seems to know except me, is he cheating or am I paranoid? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my SO [20 M] of 8 months, I am too available to him for the wrong reasons.
POST: Hey guys,
First off, I'd like to say that I am a classic case of a girl who's lost herself in the relationship.
My thoughts and days revolve around my SO and his happiness and who he hangs around with.
Basically, I'm pathetic.
The root of the issue is that I'm someone who is very needy for affection. I need constant reminders that he still cares about me to be at ease for the day.
I can't remember the last time he did something kinda cute and special for me. Absolutely the only time he speaks a bit more affectionately to me is when he thinks he's on the verge of losing me.
I try my best to put his happiness before mine and it's pretty effing clear that it's reciprocated (selfish of me I know)
Note: we've talked and every time he gets defensive and offended saying "I thought everything was fine. Why does this keep happening?"
And very annoyed he asks me "then what do you want me to do?"
I feel so stupid speaking my mind and saying "be more affectionate"
He used to be the sweetest, most expressive and attentive guy. So I know he's capable. But I think he thinks "I've got her wrapped around my finger"
So it all boils down to this.
Due to the lack of security, I can never ever deny my boyfriend the time of day because I'm afraid that if I do he'll think "oh... oh well gonna ask the chick from my French class to hang out then"
I tailor my schedule to be at his beck and call and I feel like absolute shit.
How do I fix myself?
TL;DR: | I have lost my independence and sense of self in the relationship, and so I pathetically cling on to my SO every chance I get. How do I get off this crazy train? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (25F) want to ask my supervisor (30M) out on a date, but don't know how to proceed.
POST: i work at a restaurant chain as a waitress. I've recently developed a bit of a crush on one of my managers, and have gotten pretty interested in the notion of asking him out for drinks or dinner or something.
A few reservations: I am not sure if he feels the same interest in me. We are definitely friendly and get along well, but I am clueless as to if he would be romantically interested in me. He is also my supervisor, so that could throw a wrench into it. If we did date, we would likely have to keep it secret. He wouldn't necessarily be fired, but he would certainly be transferred and may still receive negative blowback from it. And of course, there's the whole issue if he rejects my invitation, either because he is not interested or if he wants to protect his job security. It probably would make for slight awkwardness at work.
How should I approach this? Should I bite the bullet and take the risk? Or should I just put it out of my mind?
TL;DR: | Want to ask supervisor on a date, don't know if he feels the same way or even if he'd want to jeopardize his job over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Conflicted with whether I should discuss my strong political beliefs with uber wealthy, uber conservative grandma in fear of losing college financial stability.
POST: Female, 22 here.
I just got done watching Saturday Night Live hosted by Louis C.K. The show tonight, both the skits and commercials in-between, truly made me realized how much this election means to me and my future. I'm 22, going to graduate from college in the spring, entering the workforce where more college grads aren't finding work than are, etc.
I don't want to avoid awkward family conversations about politics just because it makes us feel uncomfortable because that's what these discussions should do: make you question the status quo. My family is generally conservative. I say 'generally' because they are all fiscally conservative, but not all are socially conservative. I can talk to my parents and siblings about their political opinions and agree to disagree, but my Grandma is another story. She is my only grandparent still alive—just turned 86. She is a hardcore conservative, but I know that's not uncommon for her generation. The reason that I feel so conflicted about talking about the upcoming election is because of her will.
I am lucky enough to come from a family that can afford to pay for their children's higher education. I am graduating in the spring. My parents, who paid my twin sisters' way through an ivy league college for 4 years x2, just paid back all the loans they took out (they graduated 10 years ago). So in order for my parents to just focus on those bills, my Grandma gave my parents the money I am getting in her will in advance, which in turn means my parents will owe me roughly $80,000.
Since the inheritance I am to receive from my Grandma is such a large amount, and especially since she has given it in advance, I am conflicted. Should I share my strong political opinions with her and ask her to question why she is voting the way she is voting?
TL;DR: | My wealthy and very conservative Grandma is giving my parents my inheritance in advance to pay for my college. Conflicted with sharing my political opinions with her in fear that my financial situation could cave. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[22F] boyfriend [21M] are both loners, but he wants to get out and meet people.
POST: I don't like people. I tend to actively avoid having much to do with people. Which may seem a bit of a contradiction considering that for the past 5 years, I've had 3 boyfriends. My current however, likes people but is a bit shy and is a bit of a loner. He often tells me how he wants to go to cardshops when they have public events for Magic and D&D and try and make some friends. When we talk about getting an apartment together, he talks about making friends with another couple and sharing rent and sometimes while we're in the car he talks about just wanting to go somewhere and be around people.
Now, that's not really a problem with me. I want him to make friends and such, but he always wants me to be included despite telling him I'd really rather not which makes him kinda sad and not to anything at all.
I'm really not sure what to do? I'm not social. Not because I'm shy or anything, I just don't enjoy the company of anyone besides my SO. Should I just try harder to get him to go and do these things on his own? Should I suck it up and join him? which I have done before and I know I tend to be...mm...boring. And quiet. And I'm not good at faking a good time. Eh.
TL;DR: | I'm an anti-social bitch and my boyfriend is a shy guy who wants to go out and meet people but doesn't want to do it without me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16M] and my long distance boyfriend [15M] of two months don't do enough together, and I'm concerned, any suggestions?
POST: I'm a currently a high school dropout, (due to depression + anxiety) so I have all the time in the world, and my boyfriend goes to school.
He lives in Holland, me in England, so he's an hour ahead of me.
This is my second time in a relationship, the first one was long distance too.
I met him in person for the first time two weeks ago (we've been close friends for 6 months, so we planned this a while ago), at comicon and it was probably the best day i've ever had.
We talk on facebook mostly, exchanging 30-70 messages a day (which is actually very little, I exchange at least twice that a day to my friends), and we've used things like skype and rabb.it, but we rarely do use them, as we're both awful at planning things, even spontaneously, but we haven't used either for 3 weeks.
This is okay though, we stay close and aren't drifting, I just want to do more with him, and he's just bad at that sort of thing. its kind of saddening i only sporadically talk to him during the day, and I want to do this relationship right, as does he, but I'm starting to feel a little lonely (I live in the middle of nowhere and dont have any friends I can visit)
Feel free to ask any questions
TL;DR: | I'm feeling lonely, even though I have a perfect long-distance boyfriend who I love and fully intend to stay with forever, can anyone suggest anything or help me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it wrong for me to hide my atheism from my girlfriend?
POST: I just started dating this girl and it seems like its really going to work out. She's really easy to talk to, intelligent, and very pretty. However, she's also a very devout christian and i'm about as atheist as a person can possibly be. She has expressed her distaste in atheists several times and before she can directly ask me if i believe in god i move the conversation on to something else to avoid pointless conflict. I think its great she has something she believes in and i'd never want to take that from her but i know i'll argue with her if she makes me talk about it as i am very opinionated on the subject. I'm thinking maybe i should tell her sometime later when we are closer?
TL;DR: | i just started dating a girl who's super hero is jesus and i dont want to tell her i think he's fake and scare her off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Working with customers for the first time?
POST: I'm 16 and I've been working at this cafe for 3 years. Because I'm so shy, clumsy and generally awkward with everyone, I worked at the back and never had to engage with customers.
Next week I'm being put through trial to serve people at the front counter/takeout counter. This is going to be my first time ever having to engage with customers (apart from a previous trial at another shop last year, but I ran to the back whenever someone came in and it was generally an embarrassing mess).
I'm awfully clumsy and if one thing goes wrong, I tend to spiral down worse after that.
My speech is weird as well, e.g if someone would say "Hello" to me I'd reply with "yes thanks how are you?" because I get so nervous it's like I don't have control over what I say or how I think.
I really don't want to mess this up, so please, any tips, advice or personal experience would be appreciated!
TL;DR: | I'm an awkward mess and I'm working with customers for the first time. I need advice on how to stay calm or what I should expect / how to work better. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: [relationship] Worried about my other half's kik habits.
POST: Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My SO and I have been together about a year now, we live together and have a great, healthy relationship except maybe I'm in denial here.
So the story goes, a few months back he developed this new habit of very obviously shielding his phone screen from my view whenever he used it when I sit next to him. A while after I first noticed this I caught a glimpse of the app he was using when he hid his phone. The dreaded Kik. No 22 year old guy in a happy relationship should even have kik!
Now I'm not one for confrontation, (as you can probably tell by the fact that I'm posting here instead of talking to him.) so I let it slide, he has a huge twitter following and is generally friendly so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
He continued with the phone shielding until yesterday I saw a message pop up, from a girl while we were out And I know I need to do something.
Thing is, how do I approach this, I know he will tell me that it's totally innocent but I'm suspicious because of how he shields his phone. But would it be my place to insist he shows me the conversation? I'm nosey and I'm insecure but I feel I have a right to know if I'm being told the truth or not.
I want to figure out how to bring it up, I'm sure he thinks he is hiding it well and I don't want the relationship over, even if he is getting dirty, (ugh) and I need to know if I would be crossing a line by asking to see the messages?
I've got a lot of emotions regarding this, it's messing with my self esteem and I've stewed over it for so long that it's affecting my sanity. Please don't just recommend I talk to him, I need actual tips on how to start the conversation and stay emotionally controlled ( I cry ridiculously easily)
TL;DR: | otherwise faithful and loving boyfriend is having secret conversations with a girl on kik, how do I bring it up and can I ask to see the messages? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why is my abstinence [20 F] ending my relationship with my SO[20 M] of 1 year?
POST: Everything in this barely over a year relationship was great until about the 9 month mark. We began fighting, and I developed depression from things going on in my personal life. As a result, I was lashing out and pushing him away, which he didn't seem to like.
I have made mistakes before with how I've treated him, but I'm trying my best to get better for him. I want to be better. I don't have sexual desires though, for anyone not just him. I have had sex with him plenty of times, but after losing my virginity to someone else the thought of sex scarred me because of how I was treated in the previous relationship.
I recently found out last summer he was posting on here (I actually just made this account to get advice, hey maybe he'll see it) about how since I lived far away (9 hours) for the summer, and was pretty abstinent, he got eyes for other girls and enjoyed the attention they gave him. He even went as far as rating other girls, hoping to be rated for his own self esteem, and commenting on some raunchy posts.
It hurts me that he told me he was demisexual, and that I was the only girl he's ever had eyes for. It doesn't really make sense to me that he is enjoying talking to other girls, and posts about how great his ex was who abused him. He said he doesn't see attraction in anyone else and the thought of anyone else repulses him.
I want to be with him, I am in love with him. He stopped talking to me because I was too controlling, abstinent and my depression is getting the best of me. How do I win him back?
**Also, other than what happened my first time, I experience pretty serious pain when having sex which makes me steer away from it as well. I am currently in therapy for my depression, I started it a few weeks ago so I am working on changing.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of over a year was found posting about how he fancies other girls, and can't stand my abstinence or depressive episodes. How do I get him to talk to me again, if I am working on myself now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16 M] have been texting a girl I am interested in [16 F] on snapchat, but she hasn't read them in 2 weeks.
POST: I met this girl in May, and we have been texting back and forth for short intervals. She seems somewhat interested in me, and we have met face to face multiple times and talked. I texted her about finding some time for us to get together and do something, and she said she'd ask her parents, who are somewhat protective of her.
She sent me a text a few weeks back about how her dad is having some issues with his side of the family, and that they would say no regardless, so she had been putting it off until everything was ok. She's also been very sick, and made a bet with her friend that she can't use her phone for 2 weeks (something tells me she broke that bet).
That message was 2 weeks ago, and I've texted her twice, but she has not read them. However, she has been viewing my stories. I'm still waiting for a response for yesterday's text.
TL;DR: | Been texting a girl on snapchat for most of the summer, she hasn't responded to me in 2 weeks but does view my stories. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: You have no right to call me cheap you little fucking passive-aggressive shit.
POST: You have some fucking balls to call me cheap when you yourself are too fucking incompetent to take charge and do something with your own goddamn life.
You live in a life of obscurity, hiding behind a condo you can't afford, holding on a sport's car that's 20 years old.
Grow up man. Calling me names in front of ALL OUR MUTUAL FRIENDS does not make you the bigger man.
I know I'm the bigger man, I'm blunt, honest, and sincere. I would have typed this all out to you IN FRONT OF EVERYONE but I chose not to.
I picked my words carefully in my reply. I want everyone to be there to show our friend a good time. Don't make this a personal battle because you decided to chime in last minute you little fucking shit.
If you ever have anything to say to me, you say it in front of everyone, in real life; not on some pisser Facebook thread because you hide behind a keyboard all day.
You want to save the day and find a solution? Then give one. Don't resort to being an elementary school kid and calling me names. Asshole.
You're not a friend anymore. I've stuck through a lot of shit with the people around me, but as of today, you're out. Next time I see you, we're having this talk in person. Show me the type of guy you are.
//
TL;DR: | I'm going to a bachelor party, friends are discussing over a thread about cost, one douche calls me cheap in front of everyone. I'm pissed off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Concerned about something my [m23] friend [f20] said about drugs.
POST: Allow me to preface this by saying this may not be the best place to ask this particular question, but it concerns my friend, so...
So last night me and my friend were chatting. She smokes weed fairly regularly, which I have absolutely no problem with. She used to smoke cigarettes, and apparently has one once in a blue moon when she's high, which I'm less ok with, but oh well. But last night she casually mentioned that she almost tried cocaine, but backed out. When i questioned further, she said she probably wouldn't ever try it, but there's a teeny possibility she would.
Here's my question. Am I completely in the wrong to say this *really* bugs me? I don't have a problem with marijuana, but I *do* have a problem with coke and other hard drugs. I'm concerned that if she tried it once, she's going to want to do it again, and again, and again. We haven't known each other long, but she's my best friend, and I wouldn't want to lose her to it. Am I completely overreacting? Would it cross the line to tell her tonight that I would be really quite upset if she ever did it?
TL;DR: | Best friend mentioned she almost tried coke, and it's really bothering me. Am I out of line to tell her I don't want her to ever do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by sending my phone to a watery death and losing two hours of pay at work
POST: This was actually last week, and was a sequence of events that lead to one really bad night.
Last Wednesday, I was over at my buddy's place to swim laps in his pool. Trying to get in shape and whatnot. I always keep my phone within earshot, so I put the phone in the pocket of my swim trunks to take outside to the poolside table. Got outside, helped my buddy out by clearing out all his son's water toys, and jumped in to start swimming my laps.
Roughly 20 minutes go by, and I decide to get out and check my phone...only to realize I had never taken it out of my pocket. 20 minutes of complete submersion = ruined phone. I was upset, mostly because I knew that I'd lose my old unlimited data plan if I used my free phone upgrade, but I couldn't afford to straight up buy a new phone.
I decide to go ahead and get out of the pool and shower so I can leave for work. Fast forward about an hour and a half, and I arrive at my job site. I work overnight security, and I'm the only person on site. The key to my office door is in a small coded lock-box on the wall a few feet from the door. I input the code, popped the lock-box open, and no key. I instantly realize that I must have taken the key home with me the previous morning, and having just destroyed my phone, I can't call my wife and ask her to bring it to me.
Knowing that I can't do my job at all without being able to get into my office, I make the two hour round trip to go retrieve the key, losing two hours of my night's pay for my troubles.
TL;DR: | Took my phone for a swim and forgot my office keys at home, forcing a two hour round trip and loss of two hours pay. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my gf [22 F] of 3 years, want to get married but my parents (especially mom) are very opposed
POST: Last year of college, I have my job lined up already (commission in the military), she is getting her engineering degree, and we love each other dearly and have dealt with a lot of experiences that have only made us stronger. Couldnt ask for a better woman to spend the rest of my life with. The only hang up is my parents, who don't respect/like me/relationship/her (slashes meaning "I don't know for sure") and are not trying to get a better hold of what I want. I plan on proposing regardless, but if there is a best way to work with my parents on this, how can I at least try to either get them on board or at least soften their disappointment? They are some of the best people in my life but I don't think they read the situation right, and it's awkward every time I try to bring this stuff up. My two older siblings have already married as well but I think my mom thinks they rushed into marriage too.
TL;DR: | parents don't like my wanting to marry, either consciously or subconsciously, and I want to make it right if I can. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Should I move to be with my SO?
POST: Hey there, my boyfriend and I are both 21 and 20 respectively, we have been "in a relationship" for about 4 1/2 years. I put that in quotes because (as with many couples I imagine) life has been a little messy.... I moved out of state when we graduated high school to go to college, and being in a LDR put a huge strain on our relationship. December of our freshman year he broke up with me, that's when I found out he had been seeing another girl for the 2-3 months prior. We went our separate ways for awhile, I grew as an individual and tried to move on from him, although he was always in the back of my mind. We talked on and off every few months, occasionally talking about being friends or even getting back together but nothing ever really came of it..... This December he called me out of the blue saying he had broken up with his GF and wanted to be together now, in talking to him and hanging out I can see he's changed and I really love and want to be with him. Here's the catch: he lives in my homestate and can not move out of state for school because it's too expensive for him. Is it a bad idea to move back in state to be with him? I've always wanted to go back but have been too scared because I don't have any friends at that college....
TL;DR: | Had a BF of 3+ years, went to different colleges, he cheated on me, now wants to be together again, should I move colleges and states to be with him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] with my GF of 7 months [22f] got asked out for drinks with a guy that we met at a pub last week. Should I trust her?
POST: When we met for the first time, she was in a relationship of 13 months. She invited me to visit from 2 hours away while her parents were away. We ended up sleeping in the same bed and the next day she admitted that she had wanted to kiss me. We ended up making out. Twice. Then she invited me over for the next weekend as well, this time things went a lot further, effectively meaning she was cheating on her boyfriend. She broke things off with him eventually and we became exclusive.
We've now been dating for 7 months, but it still bothers me, because generally the rule is that if they were willing to cheat WITH you, they'll end up cheating ON you as well. We went to a pub last week where she spent a lot of the evening chatting up some guy she had just met. Unbeknownst to me, she had exchanged numbers with him. I live 2 hours away so we only spend weekends exclusively together whereas I work during the week. She informs me today that the guy (30M) has been texting her and has invited her out for drinks tomorrow night and that she plans to go.
I want to trust her, but the whole situation seems sketchy to me. Am I wrong to be pissed off about it?
TL;DR: | GF of 7 months is going out for drinks with a guy she exchanged numbers with last weekend while we were out. Not sure if I should be okay with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Shin Problems. What More Can I Do?
POST: Quick Summary. 160lbs, 5'6". I've been running for about 6 months with no previous experience. I've read a lot about running here and just random sites. After my first shin pains, when I was wearing normal shoes and running on concrete, I decided to get proper running shoes since I was just wearing tennis shoes. Had everything analyzed at a proper running store. Turned out I was flat-footed and overpronate a lot so I got shoes for that. Wore the shoes in, ran out on the concrete and the pain came back. Then I learned about RICE and stretching and put that into my routine but the pain kept coming back. Tried a long recovery period and finding a real track to get some cushioning as I run but again the pain came back. I then bought the Zensah compression sleeves to try out while running AND running on a treadmill and now I'm out again for like a week or two.
I'm getting really tired of killing my routine to recover from my shin pains. I'm just assuming they are the infamous shin splints because after a week or two period they are gone. I don't think I am overdoing my runs also since I only run about 1-3 miles, averaging 2. I've been tryin to up that but of course my shin problems keep burning me down.
Any other advice I might be able to get from fellow runnitors? Anything would be appreciated!
TL;DR: | Shin pain after a lot of running research trying to alleviate it. Want to up my miles but can't do it due to losing it during recovery period. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Got a coworker's number for a date but was cancelled on. How do I know if she's suddenly just not interested anymore?
POST: I'm male 24, she's 21, we both work together and I've sent her a total of 4 texts altogether. Last week I got her number for plans on Thursday (9/1) but she cancelled to go out of town. I texted back today (wednesday 9/7) asking how her trip was, without asking if she wanted to do anything today but she immediately said she had to work and that she was tired from the trip. Our schedules probably won't really converge much this week.
In the past couple months she has made it pretty obvious in casual conversation around me that she doesn't have a boyfriend and when she wrote down her number it was clearly so that we could go on a date together. She smiles a lot at me even when I'm not really doing anything worth smiling at and she seems to enjoy talking to me on breaks which confuses me even more. I've also made it clear through group conversation involving her that if a girl is getting chased and isn't interested in the guy, then that girl should straight up tell him the truth rather than drag on an uncomfortable situation.
I'm attractive but I don't want to ruin my chances by seeming too needy. It's already shaping into a situation I've been in before where I keep getting dodged but this time seems different because she never mentions a boyfriend and has only mentioned friends once. How long should I wait to initiate contact through text assuming I don't see her at work until next week. More importantly, how do I know (based on her grand total of 3 texts) if I should just move on and try to salvage this situation so it doesn't turn awkward at work?
TL;DR: | Coworker gave me her number at work for a date but dodged me to go out of town. How do I know if I've been friendzoned? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[22 F] hooked up with my friend/crush [24 M] who also likes me, haven't heard from him since
POST: Ok, so I met my crush (T) back in August, and we became good friends. He made some moves on me back then but I friendzoned him due to me still being attached to an ex. He accepted that, and we still hung out as friends as part of our larger friend group. To my knowledge, he did not date anyone seriously from August to now. He dated a girl briefly in February but didn't have sex with her.
Fast forward to early March, I am over my ex completely and realize that I have a crush on T still from August. I text him my feelings, and he says something along the lines of "I'm busy these next couple weeks, let's see what happens later in March." Ok, fair, he had a lot of school/research trips to go on.
Last Saturday, we were hanging out alone, and he puts his arm around me. We end up having sex. He fingers me so hard I bleed, and when he puts it in me, he comes instantly. It was pretty "bad" sex, but I didn't really care -- I was just happy he was returning my feelings! I felt a change in him after we had sex though. He seemed more distant. We went out with friends that night and when I dropped him off, I asked if I should come up with him (for a round 2). He said he had school work to do (at 11pm on a Saturday).
Since then, he hasn't initiated contact with me. I texted him twice this week, to go rock climbing and to watch a movie. He was either swamped with work or didn't respond.
I can't figure this out. He doesn't have sex with just anyone. He clearly likes me still. Is he ignoring me because he is insecure about what happened during sex (coming too early)? Not sure if he wants a relationship? Is he just that busy? I don't want to keep texting him because that would make me look crazy / overconcerned...
Should I ask if everything is ok?
TL;DR: | Hooked up with longtime friend/crush with mutual feelings, haven't heard from him in almost a week. Confused about how he feels. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Does my 21 M friend like me, or is he liking the attention he's getting from me?
POST: Okay, so I've known this guy for about 5 years and he's become one of my really good friends. But last year he's been really like flirty, invites me over, telling me I live there now, always asking to hang out (to me) like touching me constantly, my face, my hair,making nicknames for me, my legs ( non creepy) and always near me and just being somewhat clingy which made me start liking him.
Sometimes I'm not sure what his end game is, he'll even play with my hands, hug me from behind and wont let me go and tickle me, even in front of our friends, when they'll even ask questions. Debating on what he feels.
He found out I liked him due to a friend who was drunk at a Karaoke bar. But when he found out he acted very distant from me and wouldn't ask me to hang out or ask people to tell me or ask some from me. So I confronted him by saying I did like him for a while, but since he never did anything when I tried to respond to his advances (following his moves) I told him we may as well stay friends.
He never actually responded, he just sorta stayed quiet and heard me talk and I mentioned that he's been acting weird ( which he rejected) But now he's back to the same stuff again, and I'm not sure how to read him or what he's trying to tell me. He's also pretty anti social from time to time
TL;DR: | Do you think he likes me? Do you think he just likes the attention? Should I get over him? Or am I crazy? hahah any advice is nice enough. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my girl [ 25 F] has been together soon 2 yrs, about to fall apart.
POST: Hey all.
I've got something on my mind that is killing me. I've been together with my girl for almost 2 years and I feel there is nothing left to gain.
We met while we both were in college and now we live together and bought a car a few months ago(stupid I know, but we both needed it).
The thing is, I can't say that I love her anymore. We fight like crazy for weeks on end, only to have about a week of peace and quiet before you can feel the tension slowly building up again. I feel as she is trying to change who I am and I'm too much of a coward to stand up for myself.
The girl is hell-bent on me, and is almost suffocating me with love, when she crazy-aggresive about thing she thinks I'm suppose to do. All my friends and family loves her and think she is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Though she is a freaking werewolf, only to shift and turn bat-shit-crazy when we are alone.
TL;DR: | My question is; Has anyone else been in a similar situation? When you have lived together with someone and realized you have to get out, and get out quick? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Local SPCA won't return dog to owner, what options does she have?
POST: On Friday I found a dog running around. We asked our neighbors if they knew who owned it, etc.
No luck on finding the owner. (No tag on the dog)
So we took it to the SPCA, filled out a form, etc. Well here a lady comes out (I believe a volunteer there), and said "Hey, if this is your dog, and not a stray I could take it myself."
I said I couldn't lie and the dog wasn't mine. I then overheard another volunteer saying "You'll have to wait 48 hours before you can take the stray".
So my "public deed" is over. Well here the next day the actual owner came to our house and found out we took it to the SPCA. Then she comes back later and says the workers claim to have "no such dog".
I know for a fact that lady at the SPCA took it. The dog wasn't very old, small, looks part lab, etc.
Anyone would want it, but it wasn't right.
I'm not sure what options are for this lady (the owner). The SPCA opens again tomorrow.
What I got:
A yellow paper given to me by the SPCA with a description and date of when I dropped the dog off.
Pictures. My sister took a few of the dog because she really liked it but we couldn't keep it.
These pics were taken before we took it to the SPCA.
TL;DR: | Found stray, took it to SPCA. Owner went to pickup the dog @ SPCA, SPCA claims they don't have it. I suspect volunteer there took it without obeying the 48 hour policy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28/m] playfully told a woman[27/f] I'm seeing that she is "out of my league", she was offended?
POST: Hi All,
Title basically says it all. I'm 28(m) and recently started seeing a woman who is really gorgeous, smart, fun to be around, etc. For the record I'm no slouch myself and I don't actually think she is out of my league, but she is a great catch. The other day when I was complimenting her on various things at the end I playfully said something along the lines of, "Oh yeah, you are out of my league". I meant it as kind of a silly compliment but she was upset by it and made me promise to never say that again. And she was serious.
I guess I'm wondering, is this something I should lose from my vocabulary, even if I'm trying to use it as a goofy compliment? Anyone have experience with this when the receiving party is offended like she was? Just trying to learn how this could have struck a nerve, thanks!
TL;DR: | > Told a woman I'm seeing she's "out of my league" as a silly compliment, she was upset and told me never to do it again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Difficulty after just 3 days
POST: I've been trying to lose weight for quite a while now. I originally started at 330lbs (6ft Male, 25) in May 2014. I managed to get down to 305 by August of 2014 by doing the Nutrisystem program. It got too expensive to continue, so I started trying to do it on my own. Since then, I have slowly gained back to 315. I fluctuate a bit, but generally I'm within 2 pounds at all times. I work as a software engineer, so I'm pretty sedentary at work. I try to get in 3 days a week of exercise. Usually 30 minutes of cardio either by elliptical or swimming.
Now, my real question is this. Invariably, after about 3 days I feel tired and irritable. Not so much hungry. So, I usually end up binge eating on those days to make myself feel better. Basically, go grab a double cheeseburger or pizza or ice cream. Obviously, that's bad and is wrecking my diet. Does anyone have advice on how to make it past the third day? My calories are 2000 a day.
TL;DR: | 315lbs, 6 feet, 25M eating 2000 calories can't make it more than 3 days without binge eating. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU and I may never have a career.
POST: So today started off great: got a great night of sleep, went to work at my lab, met with a doctor I'm going to be interning with in the summer, and finally came to the conclusion of what I want career-wise. I never had been sure of what I want to do when I'm an "adult" until recently, which is computer science. I started taking more classes in the field and I fell in love. At my lab, I'm running an image-based experiment that takes pictures every hour and has been for over a week. I found that I had some labeling issue on my files. So I'm spending most of my evening tweaking the kinks in my code. My brain is hating me for staring at a computer screen for hours. I have an algorithm that crops part of the photos into smaller photos and then names them. I go to delete the smaller, cropped out photos when I notice that my delete is also deleting the source pictures from where I'm cropping my photos. Gone. I literally just lost over a weeks worth of my experiment in almost an instance. Poof. I can't tell my boss or post-doc because they were out of town on business and I was being stupid working really late. No back-up, no chance of recovery, just me being a retard. I'm weeping, losing what I thought to be certain, my dream career, but I never want to be near a computer again (writing this from mobile).
TL;DR: | I deleted a week's experiment in an instance with no back-up and lost every intention of pursuing my dream career. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: One of my best friends is developing a serious drug problem. How do I prevent this?
POST: A little background: from what little he will divulge, I have learned that my friend has had a very difficult past. While he is relatively high functioning (good grades with a good trajectory to a decent law school), he has a bunch of problems clearly gnaw at his mental well-being He has a history of drug abuse starting at a young age (ie: meth, heroin, and coke in early high school) and he "dabbles" in coke and prescription amphetamines somewhat regularly. From what I know, heroin was a huge problem for him.
Just recently I overheard him ask an acquaintance of a friend if he could procure heroin. Not only that, he is partaking in considerable coke binges ($300+ in one weekend) and recently spent 30+ hours in a hellishly strung-out nightmare of a withdrawal during a MDPV and MDMA shit-show. He seems to be getting dangerously close to, if not already, damaging his brain with a seemingly endless habit of getting 'fucked up'.
I have addressed my concerns at a very rudimentary level, but given his overall stubbornness in justifying his habits with his difficult past, I am at a loss for an effective means to tell him to just slow down.
TL;DR: | Stubborn friend with history of drug addiction + painful background seems to be making a turn for the worse. Is it possible to persuade him otherwise without jeopardizing his already precarious mental state? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] confused about what to think with [22 F] that Im getting closer too.
POST: Hello all,
I feel very confused and just need to voice my thoughts and get some input from another person. I have people I'm close to that I talk too, but I'm just having a hard time vocalizing what is in my brain.
So without going into too much detail, 2 years ago my gf at the time ended our relationship. We had been dating for a little over a year but we both thought it was very serious. We had purchased a ring together(she picked it, I paid) and I was going to propose soon. It was a good thing it ended, there were alot of problems in our relationship. But despite that I took it really hard and Im not sure I have ever gotten over it. That has been my only relationship before or since.
So this brings us to now, there is this girl that I have been hanging out with mutual friends for a few months now. She is definitely into me, I can just tell plus some of her close friends have told me. Here is where it gets complicated, at least in my brain. Maybe its really simple, it probably is. idk. Anyways, she is a cool girl, we have some stuff in common. She is attractive, and this may sound douchey, but my last exgf was more attractive to me. But maybe Im basing that off how I grew to think of her. Maybe I could have the same perspective for this girl? Im getting confusing sorry, my brain is confused right now. new paragraph.
Im not sure what Im really asking I guess.... I think that my last girlfriend was kind of bossy and sometimes mean. And for whatever weird reason I want that in my next relationship as well.
Is it wrong to look for the same qaulities in my next girlfriend as my ex? IDK. Im sorry people. maybe you guys can probe some clarity out of me with additional questions or pms? sorry guys. thanks.
TL;DR: | Im very confused about how I feel about this new girl and I think my last exgf is impacting how I feel about my next gf. Is that bad? is that unavoidable? idk. confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Who is the unreasonable one here?
POST: Me (22f) and my boyfriend (27m) have been fighting a lot lately and I have become incredibly unhappy in this relationship (almost been dating a year).
He has just suffered the loss of a loved one, so during this time he has been very emotional and touchy in every context, hence the new low threshold for us fighting. I've been very patient with him so far, as I expected this to happen to an extent, but now I'm reaching the end of my rope.
I like communication. After our most recent fight, we sat down last night and talked. And something he said really bothered me. He said that he hates when I'm with male friends. We have had this fight before as I am one of those girls with guy friends, so I tell him that I've really changed my habits with it. I never go out with guy friends alone anymore- there is always another girl or even their girlfriends present. I rarely go out anyways, maybe a few times a month- AND he is always invited.
It doesn't matter if I'm in a group with females and males, it doesn't matter if I'm with them in class or in a study group session. He hates that they text me to ask me about homework assignments or clinical hours or when they snapchat me random shit.
He says that it makes him feel like I need more male attention than what he is giving me and that it makes him feel inadequate, which I said is absolutely not true. I don't feel any differently about my female friends than I do my male friends, they are just buddies. He said he is afraid that eventually I "won't put up with this shit anymore and one of my guy friends will swoop in and take me away"
At the time I was so shocked I just didn't say anything but after sleeping on it I think this is unacceptable and I refuse to live my social life sensitive to his fears. It hurts that he does not trust me.
I want to tell him today no, I will not change. Is that unreasonable?
TL;DR: | insecure boyfriend admits that he hates when I spend any time with male friends, even if in a mixed male/female group, even if their girlfriends are present, even when it's compulsory class time. Am I unreasonable for saying no? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Fellow relationship over-analyzers of Reddit, how did you stop, and how can I stop? (M, 21)
POST: I'm starting to really like this girl from school, we are in the early stages of texting etc but I tend to over-analyze everything too much. I try and assume stuff based on her texts and actions at school and quite frankly I know it is bad for me but yet I still continue to do it. An example of this (this is gonna sound insane, which it probably is) happens via texts, I try to gauge her emotions and all that and often end up letting myself down, hoping she is as enthusiastic about things as I am. When I say enthusiastic, I do NOT mean I text things like "Hi :)))))" etc etc. These convos are definitely not worthy of r/cringepics, haha! I don't want to ruin this opportunity, therefore I need some tips on how to stop it so I can ease my brain! Things are going fine and I am really interested in her, yet I do not want to selfdestruct this because of this dumb detective-work that I keep doing. Thanks people, you all rock.
TL;DR: | =Need advice on how to stop over analyzing things, it could hinder my opportunities with this girl who I really am starting to like. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my [Grandma] wants me to have her engagement ring.
POST: Throwaway because I feel like a horrible person for even asking this question.
My grandma and grandpa have been together for over 50 years. He just passed away on Thanksgiving after suffering from Dementia and heart issues. My grandma has also been having a hard time for the past 2 years.
When I was a child, I used to love seeing them/her, she always made me feel loved. But she has also been needy and even a bit manipulative (playing up her illnesses, being incapable to do anything for herself, according to my Dad she's doing it for attention.)
Now whenever I see her, she just seems miserable. For the past two years, she has been a shell of her former self. Seldom smiles, just stares at you and talks in a low voice.
She recently told me she wanted me to have her engagement ring. But the thing is, they didn't have the happiest of marriages. They didn't seem to be in love, even though they must have been.
My boyfriend of 4 years got the ring from her to use when he's ready.
Is it silly for me to be superstitious about it? The fact that they didn't have the best marriage and how she acts like she doesn't care about me at all just makes me hesitant to accept the ring.
Am I being ridiculous?
TL;DR: | Grandma wants me to have her engagement ring. I'm nervous because I'm superstitious and they didn't have the best marriage/she doesn't act like she cares about me anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/books
TITLE: What's your favorite book by Thomas Hardy?
POST: Keeping in mind that I love 19th century literature, and that Charles Dickens is my favorite author, here's the history of my relationship with Hardy: I read Tess of the d'Urbervilles my first semester of college and couldn't stand it. Loved the writing - loved it! - but I felt no sympathy for Tess, especially after the ending. 3 years later, I read Far From the Madding Crowd and enjoyed it, (loved the writing! - and it wasn't quite as depressing...but I'm having trouble remembering it at the moment). I just finished Jude the Obscure, recommended by a former undergrad professor because I'll probably be attending Oxford next year...and, bizarrely, I liked it just as much as Madding Crowd, maybe even slightly more so.
TL;DR: | Hardy's always frustrated me because I love his powers of description and poetic phrasing, but his worldview and relentless plots are generally too dark for life...but are still affecting. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Roth IRA and Other Questions. 24 - started my first real job in September.
POST: Throwaway because I don't like people knowing about my financial info.
**Main question** - I want to start a Roth IRA Account and want to know what one to go with. My company offers a 401K plan after the first year of employment but doesn't match (I've been there for 3 months so far) I have a total of 600 dollars saved up right now - basically an emergency fund.
Most Roth IRAs call for a 500 or 1000 upfront to open an account. Doing so for me would completely wipe out my emergency fund I'm trying to build. Would it be better for me to get that emergency fund up to $5,000 first and then open a Roth IRA or get the Roth IRA rolling.
* I make $15 an hour + Time and Half.
* Take home pay is usually $600 a week.
* $50 goes into my savings account automatically but the last couple weeks I've been adding more. So far I have a little over 600 dollar saved up.
* $100 payment to my student loan of 7.5k (min. payment)
* $100 payment to a family member who gave me a 1k loan (I have 900 to still pay off)
* $40 phone bill
* No rent - live with parents.
* I've spent way too much money on other shit the first couple months because its my first real job and I'm not used to having money. I'm trying my best to cut that down to stop living pay check to pay check.
TL;DR: | Should I open a Roth IRA which would wipe out my Emergency Fund I have started or wait until I build that up? Also, which bank do you recommend for a Roth IRA? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: My uncle made off with my deceased father's estate under my nose.
POST: Hi there, and thanks for reading this.
In August, my father died. My sister and aunt read the will and found that the entirety of my father's liquid assets was intended to be given to cancer charities.
We all thought that his estate had been formalized.
It wasn't. In December of 2014 my uncle walked in with a death certificate and a notarized statement claiming he was the successor of the decedent. I found this out at the bank today when I walked in with a death certificate.
The reason I went is because my aunt called me asking me why I told my uncle I didn't want anything - which I hadn't. He's a jerk.
So he made off with ~$40,000US.
So my questions are focused on what my options might be.
Can a challenge his claim of successorship?
We have a "will" in my father's writing regarding his intentions. In it, he claims he has no living relatives - which is sad, but considering we've all pretty much left each other alone for over a decade is not surprising.
Sure, I'd like to have some of these funds to pay down student loan debt; Lord knows my father didn't pay any alimony when he divorced my mom.
But if the end obligation is to give this money to the ACS or a similar organization, I would like to ensure that happens.
TL;DR: | Uncle "stole" deceased father's money that should have gone to cancer research. How can I work with the law to make it right? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: I'm 30 years old and I feel like I'm back in 5th grade. Help me, I'm so confused!
POST: I (30/F) have been hanging with out this guy (26/M) for about a month. We met online. My profile said looking for friends, his said looking for a relationship. We had a ton in common so we began chatting.
We've hung out a lot. We hang out at least twice a week at this point. We've hugged a few times, never kissed and never held hands.
I posted about this a week ago and the consensus was that dude is into me, but wasn't sure if I liked him so I asked him out on a date. He said he'd really love to and has started planning our date as he "want's to impress" me.
The reason I'm so confused is that since I've asked him out, we've hung out twice and both times nothing happened. I am itching to hold his hand, kiss him, whatever.. I don't want to push for anything, but I'm starting to feel like maybe he doesn't like me because he hasn't tried to put the moves on me at all.
Basically, I'm afraid to be too pushy by kissing him first or whatever. He's from a small town, and he's mentioned that he's a little old fashioned. We've hung out a bunch... what do I do? Should I just give up?
TL;DR: | I've been hanging out with this guy for a month, asked him out of a date (he said yes) but he still hasn't made any moves. Is he into me or what? WTF is going on... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [19/M] afraid of losing [18/F] girlfriend because we want to experience other people.
POST: DISCLAIMER: This is a throwaway. I hope she doesn't find this.
We started dating at the end of high school and coincidentally ended up going to the same college. We almost broke up at ~10 months because I was doubting our relationship. She suffers from depression and anxiety and I haven't been able to understand her feelings since I don't know how any of that feels. After the almost break up, I've adjusted myself and now very comfortable with her and haven't had any doubt ever since. I've been a huge crutch in her life because of the all the family, friends, and mental issues she's been dealing with.
She feels frustrated that no one in her life can understand her. She's tired of explaining her feelings and not being understood by anyone. She's afraid that her depression and anxiety is a burden to me and that I deserve better. She has very low self-esteem. She's admitted to becoming dependent on me in terms of mental and physical support.
We've recently began talking about how somewhere in the future we would want to sleep with other people since this is both our first serious relationship. Our relationship has recently become pretty serious and the thought of being together forever without having to experience other people scares us.
I don't know what to do. I love her and I want this to work. We're thinking about taking a break and seeing whether or not that may be the right decision.
TL;DR: | dated for a long time. no longer in cupcake phase. both first time in a serious relationship. questioning if we'll still be happy in the long run. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [F22] is confused over feelings for [M24] boyfriend of 11 months after being emotionally hurt.
POST: Hi guys,
this is my first time using reddit so sorry if I do something wrong, or don't explain myself well. Please bare with me as it's hard to explain what i'm going through.
I'm [F22] and recently I've been in a bit of a pickle.
I'm in my first relationship with my boyfriend [M24] of 11 months.
I have to admit I can be sensitive and he's hurt me a few times [emotionally hurt me], for example, if he doesn't agree with a certain way I do something he would shout at me and make me feel useless and extremely upset. Once he knows or ive told him about it, he feels so bad and promises to learn from it.
but here is the thing... I feel like I've been hurt so much that my feelings for him are changing, I feel like I still love him but for some reason, I feel isolated and alien from the world and him. The feelings of love aren't as strong as they used to be.
Sometimes I just feel hurt and i'm really confused to what i'm feeling.
I'm scared incase I get hurt again and slowly I begin to feel nothing towards him and lock myself up; in terms of feelings. I've already been here with a previous crush and the way he hurt me, made me isolate myself from other males for a while.
I guess i'm scared incase I start blocking my feelings towards him since I really love and care for him.
It's confusing I know; hence why I would like someone to maybe give me advice or tell me what my messed up head is going through? Being in my first relationship means i'm kind of a newbie to relationship stuff.
Thanks
TL;DR: | Boyfriend subconsciously keeps on hurting me and I feel like my feelings of love are weakening and changing; as I isolate myself, but I can't understand my feelings and it's really confusing me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [27/f] attracted to a friend of mine (30/m), but I'm in a long distance relationship (33/m)...
POST: I'm in a fantastic relationship with someone I love very much. My boyfriend is basically the perfect guy for me, but he lives several hours away and we only really get to see each other once a month for a weekend. Before anyone asks, neither of us are able to change living situation just yet. I've kind of being going crazy with frustration lately as we're in the middle of a very long stretch.
Part two: I recently realized I'm extremely attracted to a friend of mine. He's also very much my type and I probably would have dated him had we really known each other before I met the SO. But, to be honest, I want to basically jump his bones. This is exacerbated by both my frustration as well as his (basically, it's been awhile since he's had a decent experience in the sack). I'm not saying I'm rock it all sex goddess, but I know a few things. Plus, I'm extremely competitive and the thought of being better than his last SO makes me happy in a very petty way.
I don't want to be a terrible person and cheat on the person I want to keep around for a long while, but I would thoroughly enjoy a free pass to take care of my friend's (and, let's be honest, my) problem. I know the SO has done open relationships in the past, but I know I'm too much of a jealous person to be able to deal with anyone else in his life or even the potential of it (and double standards just aren't cool). I'm also not going to break up with the SO even temporarily because I don't do on/off relationships.
Last bit of info: the SO knows about my attraction and has literally no jealousy of it. Mostly because he doesn't get jealous. This is odd to me but whatever.
Any advice? Solutions? Should I maybe talk about some opening and see what happens?
TL;DR: | I want to be FWB with a friend when I can't get any from the SO (or at least have this guy once), but I don't want to jeopardize things with the SO. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] have this friend [26M] who has been helping me with mental problems, and I want to fix our relationship.
POST: I met him 6 years ago and haven't seen him since. We have always lived in different states and he is currently across the country from me. He has stayed in touch with me and for the first 5 years of our friendship, I had a boyfriend. After my boyfriend and I broke up, we started talking more frequently. He had known about some emotional/mental problems of mine, and he said he was there for me. I took him up on this offer.
So this all began last summer. I really needed a lot of help. I didn't know it at the time, but I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Just a huge danger to myself and my whole life was falling apart. He encouraged me to get therapy and last October I did. I have been in therapy since then. He has been there for me this entire time, helping me every step of the way.
Okay but here's the problem. He's busy. He's a got a great job he loves and he works a lot. He talks to me everyday though, but I feel like I mostly contact him at this point. He is always reassuring to me, saying he doesn't hate me, I'm not going to lose him, that he's not going anywhere, etc. But I am convinced he wants me to go away. He has his chat on Facebook turned off for just me, and I can't help but notice that. He rarely shares information with me unless I specifically ask. He's been a great friend to me, but I don't feel our relationship is mutual. And I'm *sure* it's my fault, and I feel terrible about that.
I guess my question is, should I just go away? Is that what a good friend would do given my circumstances? I really really care about this guy, but I feel like I've ruined everything. Is there anyway I can fix things and make the relationship more mutual?
TL;DR: | I lucked out and this great guy has been helping me with mental problems for a year and a half. I feel I have ruined the friendship and I want to fix things because I really, truly care about him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[18M] with my friend [18F] one month, She's Interested in me, Do I reciprocate?
POST: Hey reddit!
So there's this girl that is interested in me. We'll abbreviate her to M to keep it simple. We've known each other for a month. She's not exactly my type, for example she gets quite drunk at parties whereas I don't drink that much, and I don't feel any spark between us. We're both 18, and we work at a summer job together (Counsellors for a daycamp), and we are both going to the same university in September.
---
I was at a party where her best friend urged me to hook up with her, and I declined due to the fact that I don't think it would be fair to do so when I didn't have any strong feelings for her, i.e: I wasn't jumping at the chance to make out with her so why should I lead her on? I told this frankly to her friend and I expect that she relayed that information to M (Though I'm not 100% sure.)
---
Fast forwards to now. M has asked me out to see a movie with her. I said yes, as to be honest it's nice to be wanted and I'd be happy to see a movie with her. So if we end up chatting more and I do like her, then great I will make the moves on her. But here is my question: If I only feel 'okay' about her at the end of the date, and she were to make the moves on me should I reciprocate? In other words, should I see where it goes? It's not that I dislike her, it's just that I don't think we would work out all too well.
---
After writing all of this I'm more convinced that if I only feel 'okay' I'll tell her that and we should just remain friends. But I'd still love to hear your insight. Thanks!
TL;DR: | A girl who is interested in me invited me to the movies. If I only feel 'okay' about dating her, should I still make out with her, or return her attentions at all, to see where it goes? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [20M] a college/uni student who has not quite fitted in or found a group of friends. I'd like some suggestions.
POST: All my life I've found myself with few friends. I know I'm a sociable, kind, and friendly person, but I've not been able to find many friends in my age group. I'm in university, about to enter third year, but I've not even made a real close friend yet. I have an extroverted personality, but I get lonely at times. I do a few extracurricular activities like swing dance, but I can't form real relationships there because I'm the only regular at the lessons. I'm also a non-resident student, making things harder-I spend 3 hours in commute each day, and cant afford to live on or near campus.
My father often told me that, in my life, I'm just too picky or snobbish as to the kind of people I want to be my friends, but I would beg to differ...
For instance, I tried to hang out for a long time with a non-resident group, but I never could really get along with them and felt slightly alienated just for being me. They're atheist, try hard to be hipsters, can be a narcissist at times, and most importantly, their attitudes toward life are very short term and materialistic. My interests in TV, film, etc. are also different, if that matters. Apart from being politically progressive like they are, I have the complete opposite of those traits; I only really get along in that group when they talk about politics or the rare chance the topic of European football comes up. (I don't hate them or disrespect them for all that, I simply disagree with those views and attitudes.) I decided to stop hanging out with them because the chemistry wasn't there to make good friends; I really genuinely did not like them, nor did I blend in well.
I've had my best success in making new relationships/friendships throughout my life by talking to those students and people who are slightly older than me. The few close friends I have say I'm far more mature than most students my age. If all of this is the case, where/how should I look to try and make friends?
TL;DR: | Non-resident student lonely in university, possibly because I'm much 'older' than I am compared to my peers. Any suggestions as to how/where I can look to find friends who are like-minded? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How to deal with differences between my [21F] libido and my SO [24M]
POST: My libido is significantly higher than my SO. I would prefer to have sex every time I see him and often masturbate every day at least once that I do not see him.
I feel sexually frustrated sometimes when I see him and don't have sex because he doesn't want to and I feel like it will soon put a big strain on our relationship.
We've been dating 2 years and sex has definitely decreased over time. We've talked about it and his ideal is every other day, which clashes with my deal of at least once a day (if we were to see each other every day).
Currently having sex 2x a week. Not sure what to do. His mindset is that if I'm that horny and he is not in the mood I should just take care of myself but I feel like that's awkward for me if we are just hanging out in my room (I have flat mates) and I started diddling myself while he watches TV or something.
TL;DR: | higher sex drive than BF, not sure how to either a) have sex more or b) lower my libido. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my [19 F] 2 months, We Just broke up because she doesn't want to commit to LDR. Im lost and distraught, how do I stop the pain?
POST: I met my gf whilst we was working in a summer camp. She is amazing and She is so special to me and we was together every day for the past two months. It was intense but so amazing, she is the first girl I have ever let my guard down for and talked openly with. We had something special.
I live in the UK whilst she lives in canada. I am moving to canada in 3 months to the same city she lives in, not for her but it was already planned.
We talked about the future and meeting friends and families and future trips etc. She always said she was nervous about the LD thing but knew it was worth the effort. Then yesterday she broke it off because she doesn't want to do Long distance even though its temporary. She says she cares for me but because its so early in the relationship she can't commit fully and feels if it went wrong it would only hurt me further in the future. She is scared and confused and I don't know what to do. All I want to do is see her and sit with her which I know will only make things harder.
Its hurts so much because I know it was at least worth trying to make it work and how the distance thing was only temporary. Im a closed person and I am always reluctant to let people in but I knew this girl was special to me and now I feel like I have been made a fool and my heart has been torn out. Im scared that Im just going to become more closed off and resent her, which I don't want to do.
I feel so alone and lost, I have no-one to talk to and I just want it to stop. What do I Do?
TL;DR: | girlfriend broke up with me because she is scared of LDR and hurting me but the pain now is so bad I can't function |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my GF [21F] of 2 years, we "talk" tomorrow
POST: Hey everyone, thanks for taking some time to read this!
Recently, things haven't gone well between my girlfriend and me. She often says something like *"you're getting on my nerves"* or *"you sure you wanna see me?"* when I ask her to hang out.
Well, she's been away for a week (holidays with family) and we will meet tomorrow afternoon. This is where it get's tricky: I am such a wreck right now, I can't do anything right now other than think about what will happen. Is she gonna break up with me? Worst case scenario I don't know what I would do. Probably hide in my flat and never go out again.
Or maybe she still wants our relationship to continue? I know I'd fight for it. For her. So why does she behave so strange? This is my first relationship (as well as her first) so I don't know how to interpret her actions.
But the most important part of all this is, that I don't know. It kills me not knowing whether she loves me anymore or wants to cut the line. I'm really scared of what will happen. I don't know how to deal with all this :( What can I expect tomorrow? How should I conduct myself?
TL;DR: | GF of 2 years and I will talk about our relationship tomorrow, really scared of breaking up. Any tips on how to handle such a situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What do I [23/nb] do with all the stuff my ex [20/m] gave me?
POST: My ex and I had a really great relationship. We were friends online for about a year before meeting up in person to see a show together (I lived close by, he didn't). We both (secretly) thought we'd end up hooking up, and we did, what we didn't expect was falling head-over-heels in love. We dated, long-distance, for about 18 months, seeing each other for 4-5 days every month or two. We went on incredible trips, called each other every night before bed, talked about getting married, all of it.
We broke up in August and I was *devastated*, he said he didn't feel like he really loved me any more and both of us deserved "real" love. I think some it had to do with me being mentally and physically ill, and him being younger (19 at the time) and feeling like he had to "take care of" his very sick, older partner. We haven't spoken since (he won't talk to me).
A few days after we broke up, based on something I saw on Gilmore Girls, I grabbed everything he ever gave me -- letters, clothing, a giant stuffed cinnamon bun plush toy, a LoZ boss-key keychain, all of it, and put it in a box in my closet. Some of the clothes he gave me were really nice -- two pairs of really cute galaxy print boxers, a very comfy pair of sweatpants and two very nice t-shirts. What do I do with it all?
I don't want to throw it out in case we get back together and I think in ten years, even if we don't get back together, I'll regret throwing away things tied to so many good memories. I miss my clothes, but I don't know if it'd be better to just "move on" and donate them...
TL;DR: | Had a great relationship, mostly good memories, but haven't touched/worn/looked at anything he gave me since we broke up. WTF am I supposed to do with it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Overcoming the Friendzone (Yes, Girls Can Be Friendzoned!) (23F)
POST: Hello, all!
I have a question for the guys out there and am looking for their opinions on the "cool" girl (my definition of cool = basically being able to fit in as "one of the guys"). Is it possible for a guy to develop a romantic relationship with a girl who may not be the stereotypical "girly girl?"
I've never been good at flirting, and I often feel better and more confident when I make jokes, curse, am sarcastic, and just try to be fun (and I just love to make people laugh). Sometimes, I feel like it sabotages my ability to develop a connection with guys on a romantic level because I can be labeled as the "girl who will watch superhero movies and actually like them" or "the girl who curses more and says more inappropriate things than some guys."
Don't get me wrong - I'm not a tomboy by any means. I do girly things (wear makeup, dresses, watch romcoms, etc.), I just find that a lot of guys become surprised from the things I say, the things I like, and the things I do.
TL;DR: | Basically, I'm worried that I will always be friend-zoned because of the fact that I can usually fit in well with the guys. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my Ex-Girlfriend? [22 F] 3 years, heaven-hell
POST: To begin, I need help on what my next move should be: Keep trying or move on?
Here's the story line (currently both seniors in college, graduate in Spring)
We meet Freshman year, begin dating.
-I cheat on her 3 months in. this is where all our troubles begin (wish i could go back here and never begin the cycle)
-we've been going back and forth for 3 years until this summer, I went to Europe and when we got back I wanted to take things slow so we could work out issues, she wanted to hit things fast.
-We got in a fight and broke up.
-month passes and I want her back, but this time she isn't open to it but she will hangout with me, go to dinner ect; nothing public.
-last week she said that it wasn't going to work and she needed time, well i'll leave some things out but I over reacted and put my life at risk.
-now i'm worried that its all just so fucked up that there is no fixing, I love this girl and she is my entire world but I haven't done a good job of showing that.
-Should I give her space and try again or should I just give her space and be happy with letting her go?
-we're both graduating and plan on taking jobs in whichever city offers so thats something we're both scared of.
TL;DR: | i cheated on my girlfriend, trust was gone, started plenty of fights, i neglected her, now she is neglecting me and I want her back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by flashing to another child when I was a child
POST: This happened when I was in kindergarten. There was this girl I always talked to and fooled around with. We even did some naughty stuff, I know it's weird but it kinda happened. When we were standing in line for lunch one day I put my hands down her shirt and we were standing their for awhile and people thought it was funny. One day when I was waiting for someone to leave the bathroom (we had a bathroom in the classroom) the girl sat down near the door while I was standing and flashed her genitals to me. Of course I flashed mine back, and another classmate happened to see me. She told the teacher and we were both called into the office.
I remember being really scared because I'd heard stories of people who got in really bad trouble got spankings from the principal with a ruler and I thought it was going to happen to us. She was really scared too. The classroom had a streetlight disciplinary system (green, yellow, red) and I ALWAYS stayed on green until today. We didn't get whoopings from the principal, instead they called our parents. When I got home, my dad got REALLY upset and I got a nice spanking in front of my brothers. They still make fun of it until this day.
TL;DR: | A girl flashed her privates to me in kindergarten and I flashed mine back, another student saw and snitched. I got switched to "red" behavior and got a good spanking when I got home. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How did you cope with accidentally hitting an animal with your car? Or how did you help someone cope?
POST: Last night, my girlfriend accidentally hit a dog while she was driving down the street. She got out to see if the dog was okay, but unfortunately, the dog had died. A family eventually ran over to the dog and began sobbing. My girlfriend eventually left the scene and gave me a call telling me everything that happened. She feels terrible as I we all would probably feel if this happened to us. The thing is, I don't know what to say or do anymore to help her cope / feel better about the situation.
So I ask you Reddit, how did you cope with accidentally hitting an animal with your car or help someone cope in the same situation?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend accidentally hit and killed a dog with her car. She feels TERRIBLE--how do I help her cope? |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Cash or Credit? In Austria, Switzerland, Italy.
POST: Question: Are these countries more *cash culture* like Germany, or more *credit card culture* like France (and Canada and USA)?
I've found that some countries had much more of a credit card culture and some have a cash culture.
Background: I'm from Canada. Last year I travelled through northern France, Belgium, Netherlands, and northern Germany. I took some Euros but planned to use my credit card whenever I could. This worked well until I got to Germany, where, other than big purchases (hotels, gasoline/petrol), most places wouldn't let me pay with anything other than cash unless I spent over X amount (10 euros or whatever). This meant that I had to use cash at many cafés for quick lunches, admission to many sites, etc. So I ended up burning through more cash than I'd planned and had to get more from an ATM.
Plans: This summer, I'm going to Switzerland, southern Germany, Austria, and northern Italy. I want to be prepared.
TL;DR: | In Austra, Switzerland, and Italy, can I use credit cards almost everywhere (except street vendors), like in France, Canada, USA? Or are they like Germany so I'll need to bring more cash? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I think I just accidentally committed check fraud. What do I do?
POST: Here's the situation: My fiance and I live 30 miles apart. We have no joint bank account. I left my debit card and checkbook in the other town, and he is away and unreachable until this afternoon. I went antique shopping with 10 bucks in my pocket, figuring I wouldn't want to buy anything more than that anyway.
I found the perfect birthday present for him, and it wound up being 40 bucks. He's comfortable with me using his account and I've taken his debit card to get groceries more than once. I thought my checkbook was in the car, but it wound up being his. I somehow got it in my head that it was totally fine for me to use it anyway, as long as I paid him back.
I explain the situation with the shopkeeper, who said it should be okay as long as I can sign for him. I signed the check in my own name, he compared it with my driver's license and wrote my phone number on the check's memo field, and I went on my merry way only to realize that he meant I needed to be authorized with the bank.
So, Reddit, how much of a dumbass am I? If we call his bank and explain, will the check go through and everything be okay? I almost wish I'd driven the hour round trip to go get my own damn card.
TL;DR: | I signed my fiance's check in my own name, but I'm not on file as an authorized user. He won't care, but the bank probably will. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] for 1 year, I am suspecting that she is cheating on me.
POST: So i really need to tell this to someone, because i feel like i'm going to explode any second. Obviously a throwaway for this one.
It all started with her birthday a few weeks ago. Her ex decided to text her and wish her a happy birthday, which she was really happy about. She texted with him for about an hour or so, while being genuinely happy and excited (which seems odd, because he broke her heart, when he broke up with her). I didn't make anything out of it and just let it go. But ever since that day i've been having a feeling in my gut, that something is wrong.
A few days ago i saw her texting to a new friend she met (male ofc), and when i told her that i was a bit uncomfortable with her texting him (because he was obviously hitting on her, i know this because i saw some of the texts) she became really defensive about him saying things like: he is just a quiet guy, "he would never hit on me", "maybe he is gay". I convinced her to at least stop texting him, just for a while. Instead she went right ahead and deleted all of her messages to him and her ex.
And after all of her reassurances that she only loves me and that she would never cheat, i still have this really strong feeling in my gut no matter what i do. I did trust my gf 100%, but after her birthday something feels wrong and this feeling in my gut is just crushing me.
I don't know if this is relevant but her father cheated on her mother for a while, which my S.O. was really upset about.
To clarify, i am normally not a jealous type, but it just changed after the incident at her birthday.
I don't know if i'm just developing stronger feeling for her and therefore being more defensive and jealous or if she is really cheating. I need to know this somehow, because every day that passes by i just feel like shit.
TL;DR: | She text with her new male friend, i tell her that i am uncomfortable with it, she ignores it and keep on texting with him. |
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