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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [m, 20] am used to debating with a lot of people, but it's starting to hurt my girlfriend [f, 16]
POST: First off, please no comments about the age difference.
I'm 20 and spent a lot of time debating people throughout high school and college. It's something I sort of enjoyed, but it more so was just something I just did naturally. Politics, popular opinion, I talked and debated about a lot of things.
Well, for the past couple months, I sort of debate with my girlfriend, who is 16, about things. I honestly don't mean to, but it just sort of happens at this point (just because I'm so used to it). She feels like I shut her down and devalue her opinion. I don't mean for her to feel like that, but I understand what she's saying.
We've been together for a year, but I think it's only an issue now since we're into the stage of being completely normal/natural around each other.
My question is pretty much how do I either tone down the debate-ness of my conversations with her, or have her understand I'm not personally attacking her/her opinions?
TL;DR: | I accidentally debate with my girlfriend about a lot of things and it hurts her feelings. How do I stop debating or have her stop getting hurt? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21F] boyfriend [22M] needs me to do something extraordinary for him to know I love him and for me to earn his love.
POST: Long story short, been dating for a year, we've had a lot of problems and one day I was drunk and kissed a girl, I know it was wrong, it was cheating but according to me we were on a break. I know, do typical, but a day before he got mad at me and said we should stop talking for a while etcetera. Well, apparently I got it wrong and it was not a break. About a month later I broke up with him because we were hurting each other so much, but then another month later we fixed things and went back together, by then he found out - I confessed about the kiss and he got mad and then he got madder because I broke up with him when he most needed me and I chose my own happiness over his and he keeps reminding me the fact that I cheated on him. I'm not saying it was OK or that I should be forgiven, but he does says he has forgiven me but he can't forget and I can only imagine us being 50 years old and him still telling me "no, you don't deserve that because you cheated on me"
Anyway, he's been mad at me for pretty much everything and well I admit I fuck up very often and I don't give him the support he needs in these dark moments, but I'm trying really hard. He told me he needs me to do something extraordinary for him so that he'll forgive me and he'll believe me that I actually love me and so that he'll love me too and we can be happy, the thing is, I have no idea of what extraordinary thing I can do. I don't have a lot of money so I can't buy a lot of things, I'm thinking of sewing a jake the dog plushie, I've been leaving him notes, drawings and letter and I sang him a song today, but it hasn't been enough yet, I need something really big and amazing that will make him know that I truly love him despite my mistakes. Reddit, what can I do to show my love with an act?
TL;DR: | I've been fucking up everything in my relationship and my boyfriend needs a reaffirmation of my love and I need to earn his love too in an extraordinary act of love. Yeah, like a Disney tale. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is wrong with me?
POST: I am constantly tired. It is difficult for me to think clearly and quickly, find the words to describe what I mean, and recall memories. I get confused very easily. I understand only parts of the words people say and must either piece it together out of context or focus very hard and ask them to repeat themselves. On most nights (six out of seven) I can not fall asleep before 4 AM. I lay awake thinking and can not stop. When I get up to do something, because "why not? I can't fall asleep anyway", I am incredibly drowsy and unable to do anything without quickly falling asleep for only a brief second, and as soon as I do fall asleep I wake up again to repeat the cycle. I don't experience these symptoms after I eat, but they return about half an hour later. My only respite is in the shower. While I am showering I feel great. I can think clearly and swiftly, I think constantly like I do when I'm lying in bed but MUCH faster, I can recall all the things I need to get done, I can organize my thoughts into detailed plans, and words are easy to recall. I feel like if my whole life were a constant shower I'd be a brilliant gazillionaire capable of stumping Stephen Hawkins. Maybe since showers are my mental strength I'm secretly a girl somehow. At this point I'm thinking on comic book character designer level. Everything's a kryptonite. I had thought the reason I could mentally perform so much better in a shower was because I could breathe better due to the heat and water vapor. I found that I had a deviated septim and was only breathing through one side of my nose, so I got surgery to correct that and I feel no better. I don't feel like I breathe better at all, but the doctor has stated that my septim is much larger and less disrupted than before. I am not a stressed person. What is wrong with me? Do soft drinks make people feel this way? Is it the humid Alabama weather? I am at a loss for what could be the issue.
TL;DR: | I am always tired. I can't fall asleep. I can't think clearly. I feel better for a short duration after I eat. I feel great and can think clearly and swiftly in a shower. What is wrong with me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 35F dumped after miscarriage by boyfriend [29M]
POST: I'm heartbroken [35F] because the man I was in love with [29M] and thought I would be with for the rest of my life, left me after I miscarried our baby and found a new girlfriend less than a month after the miscarriage.
We were together for 10 months but a few months ago he asked to get married and start a family sooner rather than later.
He told me that I'm too sad to be around and that I need more support than he could possibly give me. He also told me that he deserves to be happy and find a woman who will give him the family he wants more now than ever.
TL;DR: | No baby and no partner. Feel lost and heartbroken. How can I heal and move forward during this difficult time? Why did my ex abandon me during this painful time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29F] with my [30M] husband, how much golf is too much?
POST: When my now-husband and I started dating, we lived two hours apart and only saw each other on the weekends. Because we only saw each other on the weekends, we would spend most of our time together. He would occasionally golf on the weekends. Because he was in graduate school, he had time to golf in the mornings during the week. We dated for two and a half years, and then I got a job in his city. Shortly after we moved in together, we got engaged.
Once we moved in together and after he got a full-time job, he went from golfing occasionally on the weekends to golfing every Saturday and Sunday. Once he is golfing, he goes incommunicado. He refuses to check his phone because he "needs to focus." He's usually home by 2:30 p.m., but then he needs to nap. Then he has to call his golf buddies so that they can all recap the day's round. I feel like I'm being abandoned and ignored until 6pm on the weekends. He feels that we spend a lot of time together during the week (we have dinner together, work out together), and that I would feel differently if I had a hobby. But I would like to have brunch with my husband on the weekends, or spend time at the beach or the park during the day. I want to enjoy the spring/summer/fall days, not just the evenings.
I also think he goes too many golfing trips. He's actually on a four-day golf trip in San Diego right now with his dad. In all fairness, he did book me a spa day yesterday. But I'm still sitting here at my desk while he is in California. I want to travel, too. In the five years we've been together, we've gone on three trips (one being our honeymoon). He's been on at least ten golfing trips.
I'm not sure what is reasonable when it comes to hobbies and marriage. Either I'm overreacting, or he's being unreasonable.
TL;DR: | Husband golfs every weekend and takes a lot of golfing trips, and I want him to cut back -- am I overreacting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: boyfriend asked for break after I fucked up..
POST: 25(f) 25 (m) in a serious relationship of a year.
Using a throwaway account... I 25 (f) have made some mistakes in my relationship to the point where he doesn't know if he wants to be with me or not... I have insecurity and jealousy issues on top of anxiety to where he says he is scared to do anything or tell me anything...I have said I want to change but still these issues pop up consistently.. one day we were out drinking i got srunk and bit him in the heat of a dumb argument. that was the breaking point.. I would've NEVER done it sober and deeply regret and embarassed by it. He asked for a break and he doesn't know if he wants to be with me. Before anyone is too harsh I am genuinely working to be a better person and make myself happy. I know I can change my attitude and jealousy.. just want input on the break and on what to do as I am struggling in not contacting him?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend asked for break after I fucked Up consecutively. Struggling with not contacting him.. what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [23f] contact the guy [25m] I made out with and tell him how i feel?
POST: So I used to hang out with my friends [23f] at a specific restaurant, and one of the guys working there was flirting with me (at least I think). I flirted too because I really liked him. We didn't go there often (like once a month).
One day I went at a party at a club and he was there and he came to me and kissed me and we made out. It felt amazing although I hadn't kiss anyone before or had a relationship. I told him, and he said he doesn't care. We danced and talked a bit, but mostly kissed. He then went to his friends briefly, and one of the guys in my group tells me, "I found him on facebook. He is with another girl in the profile photo and I am 90% sure she is his girlfriend".
I left the club broken hearted. A few days later I thought I should search for myself (I used my sister's facebook because I don't have one, although i have messenger). He was with a girl in the photo, but they weren't kissing, and I couldn't find anything else indicating he is with someone or her. They work together though. My friends insist to forget him and just apreciate the good time I had there, but I can't. I just stopped bothering them.
I really like him and I want to know what to do now. It's been a week. My friends don't want to go at the restaurant even though I told them I don't mind seeing him. Should I message him on messenger? Should I keep passing in front of the restaurant in hope he notices me (I can't go in, I'm too shy and I've already passed twice)? I don't even know if he really likes me I didn't have the chance to ask for his number, only his name. Please help me.
TL;DR: | Made out with a guy at a party, was told he has a girlfriend so I left. He propably doesn't have one and I fancy him. What to do? (also sorry for my english) |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by almost getting a teacher fired.
POST: So this happened a while ago when I was still in middle school, but it still remains the biggest facepalm moment of my life. Anyways, where I went to school, we had one teacher for every subject. Whoever taught our homeroom also taught PE. I was never really close with my teacher, but he didn't really hate me either (I think), so we kinda had this greet-eachother-in-the-hall relationship.
One day, near the end of the year, we had a gymnastics class. Our equipment was all adequate except for the mats. They were made of the coarsest pieces of straw you could ever find. Naturally, someone was going to get hurt, I just didn't know it was me. I was about to do the hurdle when I suddenly had the bright idea of raising the height to the max (It's pretty obvious where I'm going with this now). So I ran up to the hurdle, (attempted to) jump over it, caught my leg on it, and proceeded to do what was equivalent of a floor burn on a straw mat, with my face. After that, I was taken to the nurse's office to clean the wound and whatnot.
When my mom came to pick me up, she naturally asked me what on earth happened to my face. For some stupid reason, I blamed it on Mr. Cooper (my teacher), I even started crying too, making a show out of it. After dropping me home, she went to the school and demanded an apology from Mr. Cooper. Obviously, he denied doing anything. It got so intense to a point where my mom threatened a lawsuit and get him fired. (Apparently, Mr. Cooper's wife got involved too.) Eventually, my mom found out the truth and decided to just up and away from that school forever. I still keep in contact with some of the friends since to them, I just decided to leave on a whim.
TL;DR: | I fucked up my own face on a straw mat and blamed it on my teacher, which almost got him fired, until all parties found out the truth. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my SO [27 M] 14 months, I want to leave the town we live in. He doesn't know if he wants to.
POST: A little advice maybe, I just need someone to talk to. I go to a little tech college in the town I live in. I will have my associates in December. I decided I want to move to a big University about 4 hours away.
Well I got accepted almost right away (less than a week) for the classes that start in January. The program I am going into is for computer engineering, which is my passion.
My boyfriend is an assistant manager at a store in town, and he says he doesn't know if he wants to go with me. I love him more than anything and he makes me so happy. He said he doesn't want to because he is moving away from his dad (so instead of a 2 hour drive, it will be a 3 hour drive.) He says it costs a lot of money to move, but I will have scholarships and student loans and grants, and I will find a part time job while he finds one too. I've been looking jobs for him, and there are SO many GOOD paying jobs. We live together for the past year. The place we live, for an entry level job is 7.25 and average hourly wage is about $9 an hour. Both him and I can get almost $15-16 an hour each easily!!! I have been saving up money to move.
I hate the town I live in. There is nothing to do here, and I really don't have any friends here.
I just need some advice. I can't do long distance. I am a very physical person. Should I push my boyfriend to make a decision? I don't want to rush him. I have a month until I can make my decision due to deadlines.
TL;DR: | I want to go to a big University, my boyfriend is unsure about coming with me. Wanting to know what I should do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (18/m) would like to break up with my girlfriend (18) but I'm too worried for her.
POST: I'm a bit of a terrible person because from the beginning, I wasn't completely into the relationship but here we are 6 months into the relationship . I thought feelings would grow as we're together but I was wrong. They stayed the same. But because she's over 200 miles away for school, I'm not feeling it less.
I brought up the fact that I'm more of a physical experience guy who would actually like to go out on dates and experience things with her. She's the opposite and doesn't mind being so far away as long as she gets to talk to me. She got really offended that I said that and now brings it up at times. Ive been busy lately and haven't had much time to talk to her and she's brought that I need to make more time for her which I completely understand. It's just that after she said that, it's starting to feel like a chore to call her and it's not fun for me ore even remotely interesting. Im going into the air force soon and I'm sure I won't be able to make it without seeing her for some long.
I know I want to break up but she's making it hard. I know that her life is pretty much falling apart right now. School sucks, parents got a divorce, one parent had a major car accident and is messed up in the head, and her other parent is going through major money problems. She says that she feels I'm the only stable thing in her life and doesn't want to lose me. Her saying that makes me not want to break up with her but it just feels like a chore to me. What should i do?
TL;DR: | I'm too worried about her mind being messed up so I've been holding back on breaking up with her. Should I do it anyway? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [21] and I [22 m] are seriously confused right now. I could definitely use some help/perspective?
POST: So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months. It's the best relationship I've ever been in and we seem to genuinely make each other happy.
It's been really tough because we've been away from each other for a month, traveling with friends and family.
Anyways, my girlfriend is bisexual and has had relationships with women in the past. She tells me how she will fluctuate in her attraction to men and women. She says she has been really confused lately, feeling extra attraction towards women. She says she likes the powerful, not-give-a-fuck mentality that comes from being with a woman. She says she is attracted to me for very different reasons, like she likes how I can be powerful and assertive in the relationship.
She tells me that she does not want me to feel inadequate, and that she is worried and upset about how she is feeling.
I want to think that everything will be fine and that this is just the result of us being apart for so long. I would hate to lose this girl that I love for something so far out of my control.
"lose" is the wrong word, love is not about possession, it's about appreciation.
help :/
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is bisexual, feeling confused andfeeling esp. attracted to women. We've been apart for a month and I hope this will go away when we're together in 2 days |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M] don't know if I should be travel to see this girl [23 F]
POST: So I met this great girl online, her and I have been talking to each other for 6 months now for pretty much everyday.
We clicked almost immediately. I asked whether she liked me and she said yes she does. We've agreed that i'll go see her by mid February ( we're 5 hours apart). I wouldn't say that we are in LDR but she said that she misses me ( we never met before, maybe she wanted to say love but was shy, maybe ) and that she wants to hang out.
She was so excited that i'm finally coming over to see her and offered me to stay at her house ( even if we never met each other before) but i really don't know if going to see her is the right thing to do since i don't know where this whole relationships is at and what she is expecting from me..
I already asked her if she would entertain a relationship with each other but she said she couldn't say until we meet.
Do you guys think i should ask her via text what she expects or wait until i get there and see what happens ? do you think she is expecting a LDR out of this ?
I will take into consideration you guys' advice to buy plane tickets tomorrow (or not )
Thanks for the advice !
TL;DR: | Met this girl on a dating app, she's telling to come see her but i don't know what she's expecting out of this whole thing, |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I like a girl a lot but I am not sexually attracted to her- help?
POST: I am a 17 year old male from the UK, and I have been with my girlfriend for two and a half years. I am in love with her, or atleast like her a lot. I would happily marry her in the future and we get on perfectly. However, I do not feel and never really have felt sexually attracted to her. Can this be normal?
She is very attractive in a conventional manner, so it can't be that I am not attracted to her, and I am aware of her beauty. I am not asexual (I hope) as I watch porn and masturbate regularly. It's just not something I want to do with her; I feel it would destroy our relationship for some reason. She has recently been broaching the subject and I do not want to tell her that I do not feel sexually attracted to her because I fear she would see this as rejection. She has had a fraught emotional past with her family and I don't want to hurt her.
Has anyone had a similar situation and can anyone give me any advice? Much thanks to anyone who replies; my friends do not have an adequate response and just think I'm a bit odd for it.
TL;DR: | I like this girl a lot but I just don't want to have sex with her; and I am looking for advice as how to approach the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [M/19] falling for a girl [F/18] who may well be gay. But I'm getting mixed signals from her.
POST: Just started University 3 weeks ago, met a girl during Fresher's and who just clicked. I've never gotten on so well with anyone so spontaneously before. When we first met, we talked for 5 hours straight and we had a great time - we have loads in common and we laughed a lot. We've seen each other pretty much every day for a couple of hours at least, even if it's with other people.
We both seem fairly flirty towards each other. We will often sit close to each other to the point we are touching each other and neither of us moves away when this happens. But neither of us have dared to hold a hand or anything. I've been able to get away with calling her pet names, which she likes. She has made me a couple of meals when I've come round. I've given her brownies, music, magazines etc. We go out with each other in the evenings often. You get the idea. I've seen the way she acts around other guys and it is nothing like this.
We've also been able to share really important stuff with each other. We've talked through her desire to move accommodation (we don't live together btw) and her past anorexia, and in turn I've talked about my disabled brother and a family crisis back home. We're completely trusting in each other and it's refreshing to have someone to share this kind of stuff with. I'm really valuing her as a person right now.
However, in passing, she's mentioned ex girlfriends. At this point, I don't know whether she's gay or bi, but my guess is the former. I don't know how to move forward, I don't want to wreck a potentially great friendship by making the wrong move. Help me Reddit!
TL;DR: | This girl may be gay, but I don't want to wreck a great friendship by getting my dick in the way! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My (22/f) girlfriend is a pee-er and lied to me (23/m) about it, what do I do? Details inside.
POST: So I met her because she is friends with one of my good friends in college. When we first hooked up, her friend warned me that in college this girl has been known to pee the bed after getting really drunk and it happened a lot in college. I really like the girl so I guess I was just being hopeful and thought it wouldn't happen to me, and for a couple months it didn't. Well on saturday night, she peed my bed, all over my bed, so I acted as nice as I could about it and she cleaned it up as well as she could I guess. But then I tried talking to her about it and she denied that this ever happened before, she guaranteed it wouldn't happen again and it was just a one time thing. I asked her in several different ways but she kept saying, oh this never happens I swear. I really like this girl but I am afraid this might end up being a deal-breaker. What do you guys think?
TL;DR: | I was warned the girl I am with might pee the bed after drinking, after a couple months she did, then lied to me and said she doesn't normally do that kind of thing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Really didn't know where else to turn. (20m) (19f) 5 years ish
POST: I really didn't know where else I could ask about this. Me and this girl, we will call her K, have been on and off for 5 years now. High school love and what not. I think we both really truly loved one another once, probably still do but let me get to the problem.
For the longest time we never could sync up. After the first 6 month relationship one of us was always in a relationship when the other wasn't. That didn't always stop us, she was into me way more than I was her at the time and she cheated twice. Finally earlier this year we both ended up single at the same time. We tried to keep the feelings out of it and somewhat succeeded until I caught them. When I went to tell her she told me she met someone else and wasn't going to be choosing me. I was crushed. Cut ties and moved on. Well, I tried. I could stay away and went back. We are friends now, doing OK actually and after some probing I am confident she still has feelings for me but not enough to her her boyfriend. Which I understand completely, I don't want to ask her to. I did tell her that if her and her boyfriend were to split, she should look me up.
My biggest problem comes from the fact that I have no idea why I am into her. We aren't the right person for the other. I know I could do better and I know there has to be someone better for me. Same for her. But no matter what we both do we cannot shake the other. No matter what i try I find myself still wanting her. I know I shouldn't, boyfriend and the fact that she's not the right girl, but I just can't ditch this feeling. Is this love? Is needing someone so bad you're willing to sacrifice what love really is? I have no idea what to do. None and could really use some guidance. Thank you so much.
TL;DR: | me and this girl have been on and off for years. Even though we suck for each other we can't shake each other. Help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I'm 17, from the UK and just received a letter saying that I am in debt £261.28. I have no way of paying it and if I don't I will be taken to court, what can I do?
POST: To cut a long story short: A while ago I got £1000 in savings and ripped it to shreds on my new gaming computer, along with many other unneeded 'luxuries'. I had around £200 already in my account and swiftly spent about £1200 on my computer. I thought that the whole point of a debit card is so that you can't spend money if you don't have it? For some reason amazon (where I got the computer) didn't take out the money until about 2-3 weeks **after** I had purchased and received it.
In this time I was mindlessly using my card on everything from new clothes to kebabs. Not even thinking twice about the consequences. I thought I was safe, I have a debit card and am under 18, apparently not. The letter states that Barclays (my bank) will now no longer accept any communications from me, they have passed my debt on to a debt collecting organisation or something and it seems pretty serious.
First of all, how screwed am I later on in life? Am I going to have a bad credit rating or equivalent? More importantly, what can I do to pay this off? My parents have said that I got myself into this mess, and that I should be more careful and aware when it comes to money. Surely if there was a risk of me going up to £260 in debt Barclays should have contacted me? I agree I was a fucking idiot but come on...
My only income is a £25 a week Saturday job. Don't have any other bank accounts or anything. Got about £20 on me now, but that's where my wealth ends. Anyone know what I can do? Am I really going to have to go to court up against a bank at the age of 17? Will they repossess my stuff? What can I do?
TL;DR: | £260 in debt, got £20 on me now. Going to have to go to court if I don't pay soon, parents won't help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend, 17, (a grade up) goes off to college in 10 days, leaving me, 17, here at home.
POST: Bear with me here fellows, it's a bit of a read.
We've been together for four months, and we're madly in loaf.
I need some help deciding what I'm supposed to do.
She came out of an unsavory relationship and a number of equally unsavory habits. She had very little self-respect and had a very negative self image. Long story short, I became a part of my life and she became a massive part of mine, and we stuck together.
She's moving 4 hours away to College to study Mechanical Engineering, and I'm super excited for her, she's bright and beautiful and funny and she's going to make loads of friends.
My question is: What should I do?
I've been losing sleep for days about this.
I can't bear the thought of being ***that*** boyfriend that stays at home and keeps her from having fun or going out and enjoying herself and the college experience. On the other hand, I'm terrified that she's going to relapse into those really unsavory destructive things that she used to engage in. I'm so so so scared of her losing her focus or drive to succeed in her degree and her studies.
She's a brilliant person with a caring and loving family that supports her in everything she does, but they don't know that (formerly) unsavory side of her.
She wants to keep our relationship intact, and interact long-distance via Skype/texting/phone calls and the occasional weekend visit.
I don't want to ruin her experience by being an anchor, holding her back or degrading her experience. I don't want to see her throw away her hard work (or her parent's tuition money).
What should I do/ask/say/think? I love this girl with all my heart and I don't want to ruin her life or our relationship.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend moving cross-state for college: I don't want to drag her down or see her fail. What do??*** |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: OK Reddit, I have nowhere else to turn. I need your help with my recent drop in "performance"(nsfw)
POST: Ok Reddit help me out, this is embarrassing but I will ask anyway. I am 25 and in a sorta new relationship. Everything is great with the exception of one problem. With this girlfriend my sexual stamina has plummeted. I'm talking 3 minutes of fun and done, I haven't had this little control since I was 16, American Pie style premature ejaculation. She doesn't seem to mind and does the whole "aww thats so cute" (which makes me feel oh so manly) Furthermore, even the second and third time we get it on I have the same issues. This is upsetting because this was my previous Ace when all else failed. To make matters worse, *right* before we started dating I went through a string of emotionless hookups where *I* had problems finishing.
So help me reddit. I am at wits end. Like I said, when I first started sex yeah this happened. But that changed with experience and I got pretty fucking good (no proof, but you'll just have to believe me.) Sure I wasn't always on my A game but I have never been this consistently bad with any girl ever.
So is it medical? Am I just psyching myself down? Any and all advice would be appreciated. Maybe share stories of commiseration or maybe give me some super secret awesome reddit sex tips (that help me last longer than 2 minutes.) If you give tips please stay away from anything learned in your first 5+ years of sex because **none of those** work for me anymore.
I doubt anybody will see this, but I would appreciate any responses you guys can give.
Also please pardon my puns, they were unavoidable.
TL;DR: | I used to be pretty tight in bed. Now with my new girlfriend I cant make it past 5 minutes. Need your stories and tips |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Redditors, what is the rudest thing a customer has said or done to you?
POST: Just recently I had a rather nasty experience with a woman that was rather unhappy with the quality of the Fruit Ninja arcade game at my workplace. Instead of being a decent human being, though, and saying something like "I don't think your machine is working quite right," this woman chooses to be unpleasant and phrases her discontent something like "Your Fruit Ninja game sucks. I can't believe I spent money to play that, it didn't even work. This place sucks." I went over to check on the game, and it was working fine. Now, this woman was probably in her mid-30s, and I would expect this behavior out of kids, but not out of adults.
TL;DR: | Woman bitched me out because she didn't like an arcade game. Arcade game wasn't broken, she just didn't like it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my GF [18 F] of 2 3/4 years, broke up about 45min ago.
POST: So as the title reads we just broke up tonight. I am kind of lost where to proceed with this. She was my first really really serious girlfriend and now I'm without her, I don't feel like I belong anywhere and I feel like I will never get another chance with anyone else again. W'eve been arguing on and off for a month or so now she has very little patience with me where as I am a very patient person, I am trying to get through my first year of college while working two jobs and seeing her. Whenever I see her when we hang out its never enough shes wanting to do more and more and go out and do this and that but I don't have the money for it, I have insurance and a car to pay for and she uses her money she makes at a job shes barely holding to buy nails and random stuff she doesn't need. We talked tonight and she basically said I didn't care didn't have time for her and I then proceeded to drive her home, got my things and that was that. I don't feel like I ended it the way it could have been but I feel like any other way would have resulted in a far different outcome.
I really don't know what to do guys or how to even move on from this :( This is the first time to happen to me and I read other peoples posts about this but this feel so much more different because its actually happening to me and not someone else.
What do I do??? :(
TL;DR: | girlfriend and I broke up, don't know if I ended it correctly and now I don't know how to move forward :( I need advice |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Providing leggings for The Alligator Dance??
POST: I feel like this is a super weird question, but you ladies and gentlemen may have good insight!!
So, my new family loves the alligator dance (to Taking Care of Business.. I'm actually not sure if it's regional), which involves a lot of laying on the ground and rolling around. I'm really excited to finally be able to do it since I was always wearing a cocktail dress before! Thing is, I've seen it a few times at other weddings and there are ALWAYS one or two ladies who do the dance in a cocktail length dress and their underwear ends up on total display.
I was thinking of providing my bridesmaids with leggings in case they wanted to do it since we picked cocktail length bridesmaid dresses. Should I take it a step further and have a basket with a variety of sizes of leggings for any ladies who want to partake? Should we have the DJ make a quick announcement a few songs ahead of time so guests know that there are leggings available and that it's a good time to head to the restroom to put them on?
I feel like I'm way over-thinking this for one song, but we do want the song played. I would like to avoid that cringe-worthy moment when someone's panties are in plain sight for everyone else. Any ideas?
TL;DR: | Would it be odd and tacky or thoughtful and convenient to provide leggings to guests for one dance so no one shows off their panties? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[19/F] boyfriend [23/M] has an "exhibitionist" fetish and won't stop snapchatting my body to random girls. He apologized, but I haven't forgiven him.
POST: So, we have a problem. My boyfriend thinks it's hot to send pictures of me to random girls without my permission.
He's done it quite a few times, I told him not to. I got mad, he apologized. Rinse and repeat for 3-4 times.
My biggest problem is that he's sending all these pics to an old acquaintance that I worked with. She's an easy going person and wouldn't find it awkward, but I do because he's *getting * *off* *on* *it*.
She joked about sending me a naked pic on snapchat and he got all excited. "Open it! I want to see!". Ugh.
I've lived with him for a year, I've been dating him for a year and a half. We've had only a few arguments, but nothing that can't be handled with a little communication. But now all I think when he apologizes for this issue is just "Jesus, stop being suuuuch a douche." I don't want to distance myself from him, but I feel like I already did once this argument started. What do I do? Am I out of line? How do we work this out?
TL;DR: | my boyfriend snapchatted naked pics of me to a girl I know, I don't know how to forgive him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (20f) is not sure what to do with so (35m) I'm not sure he's wanting a future with me
POST: So I've (20f) been dating my s.o (35m) for about 2 years. I got into this relationship immediately after my first long term relationship (also 2 yrs).
I live with him and have for about 6 months. He has a very small apartment and we have talked about getting a bigger place, whether a larger apt or a small house.
The only thing, is that he doesn't seem to want to look, or put forth any effort to help me look. He's also not very outspoken and will only say I love you when I say it first.
I'm still friends with my ex, and drive him home (he has no license) every once in a while.
All three of us work in the same place. Although not usually at the same time.
TL;DR: | my s.o isn't very outspoken and isn't putting effort to look for a new place with me even though I've told him his place is too small for two. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my bf [20 M] of 8 months, he keeps in contact with previous sexpartners. Makes me feel inadequate.
POST: Background: When my bf and I started to see each other he kept having sex with a couple of his fwb. I told him I did not want to keep having sex with him, if that was the case. But since we were not officially together, he did not stop, and kept on without telling me. (I found out way later due to common friends.)
The problem is that he keeps in touch with these girls now that we are together. And it really bothers me. Cause even though he technically did not cheat on me, I still feel betrayed. And I don't understand why he keeps in touch with his past fwbs, now that we are together.
I have told him that it bothers me, and he has deleted them from facebook, but everytime they are inviting him to hang out, he always want to join them. And always makes me feel really bad for feeling uncomfortable about it.
And says stuff like "you don't let me have friends".
I find this really unfair. Its not my fault he went behind my back, and its not my fault he had sex with all his friends. (and to be clear he has other friends, that I really like. So it is only to make me feel bad)
I do not know what to do? Am I being too insecure and unfair?
TL;DR: | Bf keeps contacting his previous fwbs, and it makes me feel real uncomfortable, dont know how to handle it?! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [23/F] tell a guy that I accidentally lead on that I'm in a relationship without him getting upset with me?
POST: I honestly didn't mean to lead him on. This happens a lot, so maybe it's my fault but I'm just a naturally friendly and open person. Talking about boyfriends, and current relationships never came up and I didn't think that he saw me romantically at all, but now I feel as though he does and that he thinks I reciprocate since we talk a lot. I have a lot of guy friends so it's normal for me to talk to guys in a friendly manner, my boyfriend knows this and really doesn't care that I have male friends (we trust each other and he's not the jealous type) so I don't feel the need to constantly bring him up in the way I would if a guy I was seeing was the jealous type (sort of in a way to reassure my bf that I'm being clear that I'm in a relationship even though it's not really needed).
I'm afraid that this guy might get upset with me if I tell I'm in a relationship but it's time that I did I just don't know how to go about it? Any tips? If you're a guy, what would be the way you would like to hear it from a girl you thought was heading in a romantic directions?
Please don't lecture me... I didn't intentionally do this and I'm just now realizing that he sees this as something going somewhere other than friendship which is why I immediately want to bring it up. I've never been very good at it so I just thought I would get some input. Should I just be direct or is that too presumptuous? Idk.
TL;DR: | How do you tell a guy that you are in a relationship when they thought your friendship was heading towards something more romantic? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Suspicious, we're dating for 3 months and she still has her online dating profile up...
POST: We met on match.com, and things are going great however there is a huge problem I found today.
I recently visited match.com on a incomplete profile because I wanted to make sure that she wasn't visible online to any potential match.com suitors, since we had both promised to cancel our account after we became official. So when I was browsing through I spotted her account still was still up. It says it was last used "5 days ago" and it is STILL active. My permanent account has been long since disabled and I can't even find my old profile on there.
So I texted her asking if she had that account open still. To which she replied "Nope, why do you?" I told her I didn't but I told that I saw she had her profile active 5 days ago. She said "Whaat? Weird I deleted it when you did." I said I believed her and she claims no-one else has had access to her profile, but that she showed a visiting friend what the account should look like in case her friend wants to try it out. That friend was there at least 2 weeks ago which means she's had a week between her friend visiting and when he was last online.
I told her it's okay and that I believe her. But she still hasn't shut it down.
So now I am going up to have a face to face to see her tonight after work but this is still bugging me. It has gotten super serious and we love each-other very much, so I'm worried that calling her out and asking her again why she hasn't shut it down means that she'll question my trust for her. What to do reddit? : /
TL;DR: | We've been dating for 3 months, she said she cancelled her match.com profile but its still active, used 5 days ago. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [18F] is leaving the country to go study abroad for college. I [18M] don't know how to handle the inevitable breakup.
POST: Alright, so my girlfriend and I are both 18 years old and we have been together for about 10 months. We have an amazing time whenever we are together and I love her very much. This is the first serious relationship we've both had.
Thing is, it has always been a dream of hers to go study abroad for college, her older sister and brother are both studying abroad and she is planning on staying with them. I know it would be ridiculous to ask her to stay for me, we are too young and we both have our own dreams to follow, so we know our relationship has an expiration date as neither of us believes in long-distance relationships. She is leaving in about 5 months.
I don't know how to prepare for the impending breakup, should I wait until the very last goodbye at the airport? That would be terrible for both of us in my opinion. I really don't know how to handle this. A very important detail is that we're in the same school, so I get to see her everyday (which I love).
What do you guys think I should do? Thanks!! (Sorry for any english mistakes, not my first language!)
TL;DR: | My relationship with my gf has an expiration date because she is leaving the country for college. I don't know what to do with the upcoming breakup. We see eachother everyday because of school. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (F18) am scared of bad choices in my first relationship 3yrs ago. I was 15 he was 17. (Throwaway account)
POST: It's been years since my ex and I have been together. We got together when I was 15, and while we were together we exchanged nude pictures. Our relationship lasted one year.... I was 15 and he was 17.
Now wait, please, I know that it was a huge mistake now. I didn't know that we could get in trouble, I didn't know it was illegal. I admit it was stupid and a few months before I turned 18 I stopped cold turkey.
Back on topic, my ex and I broke up. It wasn't nasty or anything... Not in my opinion anyway. We're Civil. The thing is that I know he had at least 100 pictures of me. He burned them to a CD to save when we were together because his flash drive was full. After we broke up, and he got a new girlfriend he promised me that he destroyed the pictures. (i hope he did).
The reason I'm so scared is that ...what if someday they surface? We were Minors. We were stupid children. I've learned It was a bad choice. I just want to know where we stand legally in California.
We were both Minors. He was 17 when we first started. Neither of us are "damaged" from this, I'm just wanting to know & ive destroyed any pictures I had years ago.
So, since we were minors... Are we safe legally? If it ever were to happen... I don't want to be registered as a sex offender or go to jail. Everyone makes mistakes.
TL;DR: | I'm scared that a mistake I made when I was 15-16 could surface and cause legal action to my 18 yr old self. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I[21 M] tell my friend/crush [21 F] how I really feel about her?
POST: Unfortunately I've fallen for a friend of mine, lets call her "Sally".
The only unfortunate thing about this is that Sally is and has been in a LTR for 3+years.
I met Sally last year in a class we both took. We were more classmates than friends though. We ended up having a class this semester and have grown closer since. Sally knows I find her attractive and I believe she is attracted to me as well. I've kept my distance and so has she, but the distance we keep is obvious and awkward its become hassle to deal with.
The semester is coming to an end and I will likely never see her again- aside from holiday "Happy so-and-so" texts. I want to tell her how I truly feel about her- as I feel it will help me move on and get over her. I realize that in doing this I am effectively ending our pseudo friendship which has no room to grow (due to feelings of mutual attraction and the possibility of her feeling as though she is betraying her boyfriend).
Is this a good idea? If not, why?
TL;DR: | Is it okay to confess my feelings to "Sally" and effectively end our pseudo friendship? I will most likely never see "Sally" again, whether I tell her or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by thinking with my dick and getting scammed
POST: Throwaway, because I don't want this traced back to me. So this just happened a few hours ago- I guess it's still happening. A cute girl adds me on facebook, and I see that we have 2 mutual friends. Being a single, horny college guy, I accept. We start talking and one thing leads to another- we end up having Skype sex. At first glance, her profile looked real, and so I didn't think twice about it. Right afterwards, I get a message from her saying that she has me on video jerking it, and that she would send it to all my facebook friends, unless I sent her 700 dollars through western union. Wellllllllll shiet.
After talking to some friends, I headed to the police station down the road to try to find somebody to talk to. The officer was understanding, but there was nothing anybody could do about the situation. I told her that I was on my way to sending over the money to delay as long as I could(not that I'm actually gonna give them any money). I blocked her on everything and now I'm just waiting for my friends to tell me about how they got sent a video of me beating my meat.
TL;DR: | thought with my dick and got myself recorded masturbating online, being blackmailed atm and I really hope this never reaches my parents. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: this is a pickle... any advice?
POST: OK I am just a bit in need of a vent to see how others would perceive this situation... Met a girl a work. I liked her right from the beginning, but had a girlfriend myself for much of my time there. I broke up with my gf, and things were going nicely with girl in work. She seemed to make a point of coming to see me and we were getting on really well. I was also picking up on subtleties that made it seem she was interested. With a couple of days left of work before I leave I ask her if she wants to go for a drink. She's game. All looks good. After this on another occasion a co-worker dropped a couple of subtle comments - 1 that she likes me, but also (to her) that she should break up with her bf. First I heard of bf. She agreed, but I couldn't tell whether she was just saying it and not meaning it and it wasn't the right place or time to talk about it.
So... been txting, during txts she mentions seeing her bf over the weekend but still meeting up with her for a drink. I'm now in a bit of a moral quandary. I really like this girl, but 1) I don't really wan't to be a bit on the side, 2) I don't really want to break any bro-code, 3) If a relationship begins unfaithfully I think it is likely it will end that way
So I am planning on still meeting her and am hoping that she will tell me she has broken up with bf, but if not I am confused as to whether these are platonic drinks (a possibility), or how to proceed if they are not. I've been in a state of nervous excitement all weekend. I know to not get my hopes up as it seems unlikely that suddenly the situation is perfect..... aaaahhhhh just confused.
I plan to ask her if her bf knows she is out for a drink with me and hoping that she says what I want to hear - that hes not her boyfriend anymore. Otherwise I will enjoy some drinks with my friend and call it a night early.
If you made it this far I commend you. Any comments / suggestions
TL;DR: | asked girl out, accepted, found out she has boyfriend. Not sure what she's doing about it, if anything. Confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] with my best friend[21M] of one year had a big fight last night, I'm not sure how to get through to him how I feel
POST: I have never had a closer friend, he is for the most part everything I have ever wanted in a friend. Last night, however, we got in a fight that has left us not speaking. He introduced me to his female art friend Alex a month or so ago. She is the kind of gal who sticks out in the best possible way, she is typically the object of most people's attention. Anyway, we all got drunk a few weeks ago and she had a breakdown of sorts when we were on the rooftop. She complained that she has always been empty and sad and that her self is all an act. I responded in a nurturing way, telling her i think she's great, because I know what it feels like to be broken.
Since then, I have tried being extra kind to her, but when I do she gets very mean and puts me down, telling me I don't know a thing about her and about friendship and blah blah blah. That's okay, not everyone will like you, and she clearly has issues.
With that said, she was especially venomous this past weekend. I brought it up to my best friend and he essentially said that I was being childish for both caring about how she feels and for being so nurturing. He said he is ambivalent and it's Alex and my issue and he has no opinion.
I pride myself in being a loyal and emotional person, I would be the first to call someone out if they were hurting my best friend and at the very least pitch my support for the one who is being harassed *for being fucking kind and supportive to a broken person*. When he said he was ambivalent I told him off and left. I have not spoken to him since.
He is not the type of person to confront or begin the dialogue but I feel like he owes me at the very least a sentiment saying that I don't deserve to be treated that way and that he is not okay with his other friend being verbally abusive. Should I stick to my principle and wait it out until he confronts me? Do I have a reason to be upset?
TL;DR: | Best friend stayed ambivalent in situation where his friend is being verbally abusive to me for being nurturing towards her, my feelings got hurt, we are no longer speaking. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: My mother makes me question my parenting - anyone else? (x/post to relationships)
POST: Does anyone else have their parent/in-law living with them? My (25/f) mother lives with us (husband - 26, two daughters - 20mon, 2mon) and every day is a struggle for me not to completely fly off the handle at her. If she's not completely ignoring our wishes as the girls parents, she is silently undermining every word that comes out of my/my husband's mouth.
Already this morning, she's repeated every request I've made to my 20m old, invited herself into my room while my daughter's and I were skyping my husband (he's visiting his sick grandpa out of town) and gotten upset with me when I said I didn't want my daughter in her room/bathroom (which are DAILY requests).
I can't take the repeating of everything I say, the ignoring me when I ask her to not do something because I'm trying to get my daughter to listen to me, or the rolling her eyes and sighs that happen every time I have to ask my daughter not to do something for the 2000th time. (Maybe she'd listen if she didn't see Nana reacting that way?)
I realize grandparents are a blessing and my daughters are lucky to have any grandparents, not to mention one who lives with us, but I'm seriously feeling like I want to run away and tell my mother she might as well parent my child, since it seems like she doesn't think I am capable.
TL;DR: | my mother lives with my family and she makes me question myself as a parent with the way she acts/reacts to every little thing we do/say when it comes to our daughters. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] with men and trust issues.
POST: I've been in two relationships so far and both were emotionally abusive in some form or another. The first lasted four years and he attempted to control my every move. The second was verbally abusive towards me and temperamental. This last one ended over seven months ago.
Since then, I've taken the time to work on myself and improve my life. I'm much happier for it but I've realized I am saddled with these trust issues towards men. I recently met a guy and though we've known each other for two months and he's been very open with me, I am very withdrawn from him. I don't trust what he tells me even though he has proven to be very genuine and understanding. I always have these doubts in the back of my mind that somehow he's going to fuck me over if I let him too close. This has pretty much caused me to cut contact with him in a desire to keep myself safe.
I don't want to be like this, but I don't know how to let my guard down. This lack of trust isn't even really recent as I was distrustful of my first boyfriend halfway through our relationship. I don't want this to become a pattern as I'd like to one day have a healthy relationship. Is there anything I can do to break this pattern of thought or at least tone it down a little?
TL;DR: | History of abusive relationships has caused me to be withdrawn and unnecessarily suspicious of guys. I don't want this to continue but I don't know how to fix it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Accidental milestone
POST: Two days ago my girlfriend and I accidentally went for the longest run of both of our lives. We are along the north shore of Minnesota and decided to take an ambitious 15 miles along the superior hiking trail. The terrain was mostly rugged (roots, stones, small hills) and the scenery gorgeous. As we were wrapping up our run we were both just stumbling along at what we thought was the 12th mile or so. Frustrated and expecting to be almost back but not seeing familiar scenery, I pulled up google maps to see how far we were from our cabin and we apparently had an additional 6 miles. That additional six miles led us to test the scale on our map against google maps. It turns out that the scale was wrong and what we thought would be an ~15 mile run turned into an ~20 mile run. It was hellish at the end, my feet were miserable and my patience spent. Anyways, if you are still reading thank you for your interest and please make sure you have a good map before going on a rugged trail run (I learned my lesson).
My recovery day consisted of two small swims and a few miles on a bike. I'm actually feeling pretty darn good today.
TL;DR: | The scale on my topo map was wrong, so what I thought was a 15 mile trail run turned out to be 20 miles. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: [Rant] Venue issues
POST: I'm incredibly frustrated right now, my partner has been very stressed about the thought of how much money a wedding is going to cost us and other issues about being required to invite family that we don't really care about being there. Anyways, we had settled on having a backyard reception but the past few weeks he's been kind of pushing against that because of the amount of work it would be for us, which is fair but this was my compromise to save money.
Now we randomly visited a local winery that I had emailed a couple of times for rates. It's beautiful, we both loved the layout of it and the fact that it has limited space (so we can cut some people off our list without being too offensive). However, the lady who does the coordinating has not returned any of my emails. We left our name and information with someone at the winery and she said she'd make sure the wedding planner would get back to us ASAP. This was on Sunday, it's now Thursday and we have not heard anything. I left a message yesterday to have someone call us back.
I'm very frustrated that we've found a place that we both really love and my partner is actually willing to spend the money because he loves it so much but the lady that works there can't respond to a single email or phone call. I'm just so tired of looking around and trying to find the perfect space that balances my want for beauty and my partners need for it to be low in cost. I really want this place to work out but it feels like if the struggle is this hard at the beginning before we even start planning that I'm going to lose my mind trying to get answers as we plan things.
My rational brain is saying that I should just move on, that the stress is not worth the location but I've spent the last 5 months going back and forth with my partner trying to find the perfect place and I was more than happy doing the backyard reception, I'm just so tired. So very tired, I don't feel any excitement about looking or planning any more because it's been drained out of me.
TL;DR: | We found the perfect venue but the wedding coordinator there does not seem to know how to respond to emails or phone calls. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by accidentally sending my girlfriend of two years the middle finger emoji while we are currently fighting
POST: Background: So my girlfriend of 2 years and I have been fighting for a little while, and one of my friend and i were talking about the middle finger emoji, and he did not have it.
So being the great friend i am, decided to send it to him. So i open my phone to text him it; however, my phone opens to my chat with my girlfriend.
I send her the middle finger, realize my fuck up, and send her "sorry, that was for my friend".
She responds "sure it was" and after numerous calls she hasn't answered.
I'm fucked.
TL;DR: | Texted my girlfriend who I have been fighting with a middle finger emoji that was intended for a friend, and she hasn't responded yet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What will happen to the European Union in the next decades? Stability or downfall?
POST: Personally, I believe the EU will prevail and eventually become stronger. It's the greatest thing the member states have accomplished so far and it's a role model for pacific problem solving, as we can see in these difficult times. We wouldn't gain much from the Union breaking apart and maybe even lose a lot - especially safety, peace and open-mindedness.
I also think that we'll have democratization and market opening processes similar to those that took (and take) place in the EU on a worldwide scale in the future. Probably as the result of massive crises, but nations will realize they have a lot to gain from partly giving up their independence.
But I'm a very optimistic person and I always have the feeling I have a naive way of thinking about this. I'd like to hear other opinions, especially from Americans. It would be great if you could state your nationality in your comment, so we can see if there are typical national views.
Sorry for any grammatical errors. I'm from **Germany**.
TL;DR: | I think the EU will get stronger and similar forms of supranational entente will develop on a worldwide scale. Please state your nationality in your comment. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[27F] just ended it with [27M] after I found out there was someone else the whole time...
POST: I feel like I'm really just submitting this for support because I just feel like no one can be trusted....this guy played me so good that I feel like he must have been a sociopath....even once convincing me my own brother was telling me lies when he ran into him with another girl out at 4am.
This probably sounds like crap because I'm an anonymous person on reddit but I really strive to be honest and open in all my relationships....I give a lot....I'm compassionate and understanding. I feel like this opens me up to so much hurt. And I just keep getting together with people who turn out to be just terrible and lie to me.
I'm still in shock that this happened...I had no idea he was seeing this other girl (who is obese and unattractive) behind my back....and we spent almost all our time together...I just don't understand it.
Are all people just selfish and horrible? Is there any men out there that are caring and compassionate? I feel completely hopeless.
TL;DR: | I've been wronged and hurt by this guy and I just feel hopeless when it comes to people now...I feel like everyone is selfish and can't be trusted... |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: What laptop to get for school/business? Macbook Pro RD or Lenovo T450s?
POST: Hello folks,
I am torn between getting a 15' Macbook Pro Retina Display or Lenovo T450s which I will use for college and up to my business career (eg; finance, business management). I was googling "best business laptops 2015" and came to the result that the two said laptops are my best bet for what I need (although it really was the T440s and not T450s but since T450s just came out I thought that it has to be better than- the former and I should just get it). I intend to customize my T450s to almost max specs. I will be using my laptop mainly for schoolwork and business-related work (will most likely play some non-demanding-specs games once in a while) I value LONGEVITY and battery lifespan the most. I intend to keep this laptop for AT LEAST 5 years, preferably 7, and that is why I am willing to spend this much on a laptop right now. I want a laptop that lasts a really long time.
TL;DR: | What is the best school/business laptop that has the longest longevity? Macbook Pro or Lenovo T450s? Also, what would be the best bet for software support longevity? Apple or Windows? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19M] GF [19F] still talks to a friend [19M] she used to have a thing with
POST: Background: she and this friend (we'll call him Z) have known each other for quite some time, since they attended the same high school. I'm guessing they must have been pretty close. Anyway, during an end-of-high-school trip with a bunch of other friends, she and Z ended up sleeping in the same bed and spooning. I don't know if they did anything else - that's all she said, so I trust that she's telling the truth.
She also admitted that she used to like Z, and that the only reason why nothing happened between them is that he broke it off. They still talk, and at a different friend's dinner party (I was also present) she was playing with the beanie on his head. Common sense tells me this is ridiculously trivial and meanigless - why on earth did I think about it for so long? Is there something wrong with me?
I've known her for about a year and we've been going out for a few months now. Normally everything's fine, but sometimes I just get these surges of...I don't know, emotion. I've never brought this issue up with her because I don't know if I'm being absurd or not. I also don't want to be the jealous, controlling boyfriend I used to be.
Am I overreacting? Am I being jealous for no reason? What the fuck is wrong with me? I wish I could more indifferent but it's on my mind a lot.
Please help, I really need someone else's point of view.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend still talks to her friend who she used to like and spooned with. I don't know if I'm overreacting or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend comes from a nuclear family I come from a broken home. His family has issues with my anti-marriage stance.
POST: Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over 2 years now. He's 25 and I am 24. I just got offered a good job and I have decided to move out of my little ghetto shit apartment and into a nicer one together.
My mom (who is currently going through her SECOND divorce with my POS verbally abusive step ded) is finally opening up to the idea of "living together while not married" She says as long as my name is on the lease if anything happens and we break up all he has to do is take his name off the lease and move back in with his parents.
But his parents who got married young had kids are are still happily together, though they like me personally don't like what's going on. They thought when my boyfriend told them he was never getting married that he was "just being a young typical guy and when he grows up or meets the right girl he will change his mind." but when he met me who is admittedly against the institution of marriage even more than he is, I only added fuel to the fire.
I really don't want to cause conflict between him and his family and we really want to move in together. What should I do? Should I stay out of it or try to explain to his parents why I am against marriage in a cultural and legal sense? I just don't want them to end up resenting me.
TL;DR: | Me and my bf both don't want to get married, my mom supports it, his don't. I don't want them to hate me for it. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with my girlfriend [25 M/F] of nearly 1 year, was told a girl I slept with a couple years ago is a slut - judges me.
POST: A couple months into the relationship, I discussed with my girlfriend that I had been involved in a few threesomes with my ex and had engaged in casual sex, because I felt that it was not right to hide it, and I also wondered how she felt about those things. Despite having had more casual sex, we have had about the same number of partners. (10ish) For some time, she simultaneously judged me and tried to get me to do those things with her too, but would also fight with me about it. I finally got her to stop talking about it all the time.
Tonight, she met a new coworker who knows a girl that I had casual sex with twice a couple of years ago, before I met my girlfriend. I had been friends with this girl and stupidly lent her money which she still owes me. Although I never expect to see that money back, I still have her on Facebook on the off chance she decides to pay me back. I have not talked to her since I started dating my girlfriend, and I already told my girlfriend about this all.
This new coworker today told my girlfriend that the girl I had slept with is a "big slut" and has me on some list of guys she made about guys she had slept with. (Which I personally think is a shitty thing to say about someone even if it is true) When my girlfriend told me about this, I said that I have had no symptoms, it was a long time ago, we only did it twice, and I think that it isn't something to be concerned about, but offered to get tested if she wanted me to.
Now she is mad at me for not being more concerned, for still having her friended on my facebook, for not being mad about being put on a list of sexual exploits, and calling this a "bump in our relationship."
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is mad about my sexual past and judges me. What should I do other than offering to take an STD test and how can I get her to stop judging me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (17/F) want to break up with my boyfriend (20) but am not sure how.
POST: Hi all, I'd really appreciate some help.
*A little bit of back story:*
So I've known this guy since February, but we've only been dating 3 months.
I am now currently in my last year of school. I take the IB which is difficult and it's time consuming and I have insomnia, so I'm not always easy to be around.
He dropped out of Uni and worked as a waiter for a year, but he's quit that and so now he has all this free time that I don't have. I don't want to be in a relationship any more, I don't have the time.
He's great. We like all the same things, we get along well, he's understanding and he loves me. We settled into the relationship really fast and all is good, except that he smokes an obscene amount of cigarettes and weed and he occasionally takes ecstasy.
I really dislike this, but I care for him.
*Anyway*, so I've decided that I want to end things because I don't have the time to properly make him happy whilst maintaining my happiness and my grades. On top of this, not only am I going off to Uni next year, but I'm also moving to Rome (we currently reside in Istanbul, *british expat wassup*). He's never left Turkey and I honestly see no future and I don't want to keep on wasting his time.
I need advice on how to break up with him.
Do we meet in a public place, sit him down and do it and then we go our separate ways... or do I call him to save him the embarrassment (he deserves better)? Or what? I have no clue how to approach the situation. halp.
TL;DR: | I'm in a short relationship, with no future. I want to end it but in the best way possible and I'd like it as painless for him as possible. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: IS she right for me? Please help.
POST: Backstory is I graduated high school never even noticed this girl. Spent a year in college and she was still around my group of friends, but i had no interest. Then I decided to enlist she just happened to be joining the navy at the time and got me into their recruiters office. I joined the navy as a corpsman with her and as we spent more time together we started dating. I dated her for about half a year before she left for boot. I loved her, lost virginity to her and thought we would both get married. But as most boot camp romances go it didn't last I don't want to go into it but she totally crushed me by cheating (probably, not confirmed). Now 2 years latter in the fleet me meet up again and I can't help but getting those same feelings again. Also she is in the process of a divorce with a child thats probably not mine. I want to know how can I tell if she is right I am so confused I need to figure my shit out.
TL;DR: | Join navy with girl i lost virginity to meet back up two years later and still in love plus major complications. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: I'm (22M) just out of college and don't have many friends. What would be the best way for me to get started with dating?
POST: I was in college for 4 years but because I am shy (bordering on a recluse) and commuted I never really got involved in the social side of college. As a result of that, I never really started dating or 'hooked up' or anything like that. I'm now working about 4 days a week and don't have much of a social life. I message a few girls I met online and we get on really well but it's strictly platonic and they're nowhere near where I live (Ireland).
I'm never going to have loads of friends and I'm not looking to get married anytime soon as I do have issues that I need to deal with before anything serious but I would like to have some experience with dating before I get much older. I'm worried that it might put women off if I'm in my 30s and still haven't a clue.
I've looked at dating apps but it doesn't seem possible to stand out given the amount of messages most women seem to get. I'm pretty reluctant to flirt with women irl as I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable (I never have though) but want to get over this.
So have you ever had a relationship with a guy like me and how/where did it start? What are the best places to meet women my age where she'd be open to talking?
Thanks for reading. :)
TL;DR: | Just out of college, I'm pretty out of the loop socially and want to get some experience dating. Not sure how to go about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (21F) wake up every morning wishing I could go back to sleep, and other mental issues.
POST: Basically, I'm a college student that's supposed to be prepping for the MCAT. I do study, yes, but I'm also a major procrastinator and it makes life difficult. Weekends don't even feel like anything to me anymore. It's just more homework without classes. I don't go out, do anything, etc. My friends only like going out to eat, and since I'm trying to lose weight it often excludes me. I can't go anywhere by myself because I don't have a car.
Basically, the only things I look forward to every day are eating and going back to sleep. I know I'm depressed. I had a huge meltdown yesterday where I felt trapped and lonely, a combination of PMS and depression. My boyfriend (20M, 3 year relationship) was actually a little scared.
I'm currently in therapy but I've been resisting medication. I'm on my parents' health insurance and they'd be furious if they found out about antidepressants. Additionally, I don't actually know if my life is satisfying and if I need medicine to put on a happy face, or if there are lifestyle changes I should be making. I want to figure this out first before I think about medication.
Are there changes I could make to my lifestyle that would still allow me to be studious but let me enjoy life? I feel like college has just passed me by, and I only have a year left. I want to make some memories but I don't want to screw myself over academically either.
TL;DR: | I need fulfillment from my life but don't know how to get it. Should I just put up and shut up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Annoy my friends with concert filming? Two can play at that game.
POST: So this NYE I was lucky enough to go to a concert in my hometown with my girlfriend and best friend, both of whom live in different cities. We arrived at the venue a little late but were able to find an awesome spot in an aisle on the first balcony and we were beyond stoked for the show to start.
Right as the lights dropped for the main act to start, a drunk dick face (who shall now be known as DDF) with a camera stumbles his way down the aisle and wiggles into the space between the step my gf and bff are standing on and myself.
For the next song and a half (which are long because its a jam band) DDF holds his camera up and over my friends' heads all whilst bumping his elbows into the tops of their heads. I could tell my gf and bff were getting increasingly annoyed and it was really killing the vibe of the night so far.
Immediately my blood starts to boil, not only is DDF filming the concert in the most ANNOYING fashion imaginable, but also the large amount of alcohol he had consumed completely skewed his concept of personal space. At this point, my mind was somewhere between grabbing his camera and smashing it in front of him or just socking him in the back of the head. But then I had an idea for my pettiest revenge yet.
I whip out my phone, reach it over his head until it's
right in front of his face, and begin bumping my elbows into his head. I had turned the tables on him, who's the hot shot videographer now? You're in my world now, grandma. Every time he attempted to move his head in any direction I was never far behind with my extremely bright screen and extremely large elbows ruining his footage and constantly nudging him.
This continued for about 3 minutes until he had gotten it through his drunk, dickish head that I would not stop unless he leaves. Eventually, he put his camera down, gave me an awful look, and stumbled up the stairs to find his next victims. All I could do was smile and think, "Fucking sucks to have some film over you doesn't it, dick face?"
TL;DR: | Drunk dick face ruins my friends' concert experience by filming over their heads and invading their personal space. I gave him a dose of his own medicine. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30M] and my girlfriend [20F] in a 6 month relationship, she is starting to ignore my opinions
POST: So when the relationship started, we were really going hot and heavy. I had never met anyone that made me feel the way I do, and she says she has neither. Great relationship, recently started telling each other we love each other and started to plan out longer dates, vacations and briefly brought up the idea of marriage.
Last month we made plans to go out of town this coming weekend. Eventually we figured out we could have just as much fun staying at my place for the weekend and save some money. Fast forward to today, she asks me if I would be upset if she instead went to work Sunday. She has had the day scheduled off originally due to our plans. I told her that it would upset me if she did that because we had planned to spend the weekened together. She said ok and that she would not work it. A few minutes later she sends me a text and says if her work asks her to that she is going to work it. I explain to her that this bothers me and she tells me that her job has a lot of people taking the weekend off and they need someone to cover. I ask her how she would feel if the situation is reversed and she said she would be upset but that is different because I work a lot of weekends as it is.
TL;DR: | GF is being asked to work this Sunday even though it interrupts our plans, and does not seem to understand my issue with it. How do I help explain to her the problem? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [14M] with my Friend [14 F] Appropriate gift for my Crush/Friend
POST: *ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED INCASE THEY ARE SECRETLY REDDITORS*
Well title really says it all Kylie is the sister of my friend Jerry.
I recently confronted him about my crush on her he said "its all cool until you ask her out and then break her heart". I also recently found out its her birthday on the 26th of October. Shes already been asked out to homecoming so I have been praying to the Internet lords that her date somehow gets attacked by like a pack of bunnies or some shit like that. I had a gift Idea of a Ferrero Rocher box a Card and a $20 gift card to starbucks because all white girls like starbucks and chocolate.... amiright?
P.S Im really not sure what this would be categorized in or if this honestly is really "appropriate" for this Sub reddit.
P.P.S Any tips on maybe trying to ask her out after homecoming?
TL;DR: | I like girl. She sister of friend. She has date to homecoming. Im confused on what I should do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 22M with my unofficial GF.....did I blow this by not initiating the exclusive talk sooner?
POST: So basically, long story short, last summer I unofficially dated this girl for a few months. It was great and I fell for her hard and fast, she was beautiful, fun, we had great sex, anything you would want in dating. Anyways, before we met I had booked a study abroad in Ireland, and had planned to travel afterwards. She knew this. Just as things were starting to get kind of serious between us after a big weekend away, she started to pull away as she "didn't want to get too attached as I was leaving and we would both be graduating afterwards". We had never really talked about the relationship until now, and I had hoped that talking to her about why she was pulling away would maybe steer in the right direction.....
She said she could see us in a relationship but the timing was just too off with me going away with school ending and stuff. She had also gotten out of a bad relationship recently, which i didnt know about. This was all six months before I had to leave, which made the timing very fishy, as could have enjoyed a few more months togethor at the very least before i left
I fought for her and fought for her saying we should try long distance if things were still good when the time comes, but she didn't seem too keen for that. Well after all these nice and sweet text messages had been sent from either end, I found out a few days later that she had just run back to her shitty cheating ex boyfriend, and thats the real reason she pulled away.
Well this led me to get emotional and us texting back and fourth for a few days. Amongst these texts, she still stated she liked me and that her ex wasn't the reason we broke up, however I was kind of an asshole and didn't believe her, why would I. She flipped the whole thing on me again, saying "we weren't exclusive, and she had no idea what you wanted / where your head was at".
Did I blow this? Should I have made it exclusive / talked about my feelings sooner?Maybe she wouldnt have run back to her ex if we had communicated better, I just dont know. Did I wait too long to have the exclusive talk?
TL;DR: | Did I blow this for myself ? I thought we were both doing well but maybe I waited to long to have the exclusive talk. Advice pelase |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: How do you go about cheering yourself up after doing the "right" thing?
POST: last night whilst out with friends (very drunk at the time) I found myself getting sucker punched by a couple guys in a club, as a trained fighter I understand the ramifications of me unleashing my shit. The moment I realised that there might be an issue I made the decision to link my hands behind my back and to present myself as non threatening as well as preventing myself from making a bad decision. When it happened i stayed on my feet as I'm use to taking punches and how the body reacts, as well as these guys being totally untrained and rather pillowfisted. At this point a friend of mine jumps round me to start throwing punches back thinking it odd that I'm just soaking up punishment. I quickly grab him and let him know that I would rather press charges. Unfortunately the two punches landed flush on my nose, too drunk to dodge them, sober enough to not to lose my shit, inevitably I end up with blood coming from the nose adding to my current embarrassment.
here's the thing Reddit, after getting checked out and starting the ball rolling on pressing charges I just can't shift the massive dent in my pride. I am currently in a state of feeling completely ashamed and embarrassed with myself even though I know what I have done is the smart/right option I just feel like I have let myself down and with all the training and ability I have that I needlessly took a beating. Consciously choosing to lower my hands so there was no question on the CCTV footage that I had retaliated or provoked the situation, but in doing so losing a lot of pride and confidence in myself along the way. To be honest here I'm not 100% sure what I'm asking from reddit here other than a place to vent, and maybe some kind words of advice to cheer me up/get over the shame I feel.
TL;DR: | trained fighter got sucker punched by two guys in a bar, chose not to retaliate, but left feeling awfully ashamed and embarrassed. Help me out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16/M] and a girl [16/F], help pls {Dating}
POST: I met this girl at a school camp around 1 and a half months ago, I recently moved a new location. I would not say that it was love at first sight, but I slowly fell in love with her. We have both similar and different interests. I really have no reason why I love her but the feeling is there. We bonded over the few days helping her during camp, talking about our lives outside school. After camp, we barely see each other as we take different subjects in school. I take mostly science subjects and she takes graphic arts and stuff like that. I am a graphic designer and do art and intros for people on Steam and YouTube (yes, I get paid and not a self proclaimed one), that's pretty much what we have in common. I saw her in the hallways a few times last week, we did not talk but just greeted each other with a smile. Last Friday, we had a conversation after school alone. I think that she showed some interest from a particular sentence she said. The problem is that my "friend" whom hates me for some unknown reason probably has a crush on her too. Don't really know how to take an approach towards this matter.
TL;DR: | I fell in love with a girl I met recently and a "friend" who dislikes me likes here too. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [26M] fiancée [24F] (together 3 years) was extremely rude to my friends when drunk
POST: i don't know maybe I'm overreacting so I figured I post here. So last night we went out to a bar in my hometown and some of my friends were there who she hasn't met. Before we went out I told her that they had a baby who died of SIDS a few months ago and it's still really hard for them to talk about so I told her to avoid that topic. My fiancée got hammered and was like "so do you guys have any kids?" And my buddy said "yeah we have a son" (clearly not wanting to get into it) and my girlfriend said something like "oh what happened to him?" Even though he gave no indication something happened to his son, so she obviously remembered our conversation from earlier. I kind of nudged her under the table and mouthed knock it off but she kept pushing at it, like asking how he died and saying "well something must have caused it." It was unbelievable.
Today she insists there was nothing wrong but I think it was insane that she did that, especially since I warned her about it before we started drinking. I'm kind of embarrassed to bring her around my old friends from high school now because of the incident. Should I make her apologize? Or is there anything I can do? I don't get why the fuck she doesn't understand how wrong that was.
TL;DR: | my fiancée brought up my friends late son even though I told her not to and asked way too many questions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [25F] thinking about moving out from boyfriend's [29M] house, but will our relationship survive?
POST: We've been dating for two years now, living together for 1.5 years. So, we did move in quickly. We're pretty far away from my family and friends as well as my work. I've realized over the past six months or so that I'm really lonely which has also made me moderately depressed. During this time period, my boyfriend and I have been getting into pretty bad fights every couple of weeks. The root of most of these arguments is: he wants more alone time; I want more together time. So, he feels overwhelmed by me, and I feel neglected/ignored.
The thing is, my boyfriend's already got one foot...or maybe a foot and hand out of the door. He's had enough with the fights. I don't particularly want anymore intense fights either. We've seen a couple's counselor-in-training for a couple months now, but what we've mostly focused on is how to communicate more effectively during arguments. It hasn't really worked consistently, so both of us remain frustrated and exhausted with each other.
Nonetheless, we are both very good friends. We have a lot of common interests and common goals. We're very supportive of one another's ambitions. I'm really close to his family and vice versa. We're crazy attracted to each other. We've talked about marriage together but realized that, with the way we fight, there's no way we're getting married anytime soon.
Would moving out help our relationship? I love the home that we've made together, and I love him. But, as he has said as well, I want to be with him but not in this kind of relationship. Or...are we doomed?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend wants less time with me, but I want more. Would moving out to where my family and friends are but still staying with boyfriend help our relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20M] girlfriend [20F] moved in with me and says it was a huge mistake.
POST: Right now my grilfriend has moved in with me and my mom earlier this week to get her away from her alcoholic and emotionally abusive mother. She was supposed to move in 3 months from now when my mom was to move out but she couldn't take being at home anymore and we decided to grab her things and move her in.
It's still been hard adjusting to the move due to her cat's food being eaten by my dog (which we narrowed in on a solution), her not having a room and her having an opposite sleep schedule from me. She won't sleep in my bed with me because it's a futon and it's uncomfortable for her, so she crashes on the couch in the living room (which for her, isn't much better).
She feels moving in this early was a huge mistake, which I took kinda hard. I tried talking to her about it last night but said she had nothing to say and just wanted to be left alone. I'm one to confront things with her and want to get it figured out, but I left her alone and went to bed for the night and won't bring it up to her again.
Our one year is on Sunday, and I plan to take her out all day to get our minds off things. I overthink a lot, and I'm getting better with it by just leaving her alone because she needs her privacy.
Thoughts on how I'm handling this and any ways I can try to make it better?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend moved in with my mom and I earlier than expected, and feels she made a mistake (possibly due to the hard adjustments). |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How should my brother handle this guy using him for insurance fraud?
POST: My brother was in a WaWa parking lot (east coast convenience store) and tapped someone's license plate. My brother insisted on handling it between him and the other driver, but the other driver insisted on calling the police. The officer came, and the man was trying to say that my brother caused the damage to his roof, which was obviously done by something else. The paint from the damage was teal and my brother's car is tan. The officer basically told the guy that he's obviously full of crap and that the police report will say that no damage has been done, and that my brother owes no money.
Fast forward to now: My brother received a call from the insurance company saying that the driver is trying to receive money for an unknown amount of money through my brother's insurance. Isn't this pretty much insurance fraud? What do he and my parents do about this?
TL;DR: | My brother tapped someone, cop told the guy no damage was done by my brother's car, few weeks later the guy is trying to get insurance money. What do we do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: You were just looking for a way out.
POST: This has been bothering me a lot for the past couple weeks, I'll be pretty brief as I just need to say it. I was dating a girl for a while and everything was going great. Then one day a mutual friend left his fiance and needed somewhere to stay since his fiance was completely crazy and he wanted to lay low for a while. All this happened while I was on vacation visiting family so I was told about all of this over text message. My then girlfriend had a spare room at her place and said he could stay there for a while (which I was a little bothered by but told her ok). So they day I get back from vacation we go out to the mall to get a couple things, and run into my best friend. We're standing there talking and get a call to help our mutual friend unpack his stuff, so I casually say we need to get back to her house to help him move in. We get in the car and she refuses to talk to me because it's supposed to be a secret that he's there and I broke her trust. The following week she refuses to answer any of my calls or texts and is spending all of her time at some guys house working on her motorcycle (I met this guy once briefly). Then after a week of little to no interaction I get told that she cant trust me anymore and need to break up. I see it as her making up some dumb excuse to leave me. It's been bothering me a lot and I wish I could just move on, but dont know how. Thanks for listening.
TL;DR: | girlfriend made up a dumb excuse to break up with me because I told my best friend that a guy was moving in with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my wife [22 F] of less than a year, are having issues agreeing on the "right time" to have a child.
POST: My wife and I were 20 and 21 when we started dating. After 6 months, she wanted to have a child.
I have always been of the mindset that we need to be financially stable, and at least capable of moving into a house first. Ideally, I would like to wait until we're 27+, but that opinion has caught me a lot of flack.
Currently, we're poised to be in a house in the next 1 to 2 years. Over the last 6 months, she has become more and more insistent that we are capable of having kids, so we should. No matter what argument I make, it's taken personally, and she is sad/upset for next few hours.
I really want to be financially sounds instead of living paycheck to paycheck before we have kids. Having a roof over our heads, some stability at our jobs, and little more time to.. Just be married doesn't feel like too much to ask.
How do I convey all of this? How do I explain that I just want more time, and that the last thing I want to do is make her feel like she's waiting for "arbitrary" reasons. Having the same conversation every day is putting a lot of strain on our relationship.
TL;DR: | My wife wanted kids 2 years ago. I want to wait 6 more years. How can I have a conversation with her that makes her okay with at least a year (when we're more financially stable)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: College dropout with horrible GPA wants to return to school 8 years later...need advice!
POST: Alright, here's my situation:
I really, really screwed up college when I went the first time around. While I'm a smart person and the work in classes was not difficult for me, I had a lot of mental health issues (including hospitalizations, etc.) that really screwed things up for me GPA-wise the first time around. I took several semesters off between retroactive medical withdrawals, touring with my band, and eventually I dropped out because I needed major surgery and would have missed a lot of school over it anyway (3 month recovery). I had originally majored in art history, but I'm not sure it was challenging enough to keep me engaged, nor do I think that is a particularly helpful degree job-wise.
It has been nearly 8 years since I last set foot in a college classroom. I have had a stable career since I was 15 (yes, seriously), but I've come to the realization that I can't do this full-time forever because of the physical nature of the work. I would like to transition to a new career as my primary occupation in the next 5 years. I've had a ton of great life experiences, I'm much more stable now, I've grown up a lot and got married and have run my business...all good things. I take a lot of free online courses in a lot of areas of study, because I do genuinely want to learn. I know I just need to get that little pretty piece of paper saying that someone else has validated that I am capable of knowing things.
I know three things at this point: I don't want to go back to the college I initially attended. It was not a good fit for me and is more expensive than I can afford, I am terrified nowhere will accept me because of my bad academic track record from before, and I want to major in something completely different (probably something involving math, computers, etc.).
How do I proceed? How do I address the questions about my academic past in applications? How can I show that I'm actually ready to do this now?
TL;DR: | I screwed up college big time, it has been 8 years, I want to go back for a different major but I'm nervous and unsure of how to show I'm ready for it. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, is this illegal?
POST: This did not happen to me, but it happened with my friend Friday at school. Her phone was slightly sticking out of her pocket, so our Tech teacher came over to us to take it away because "we were using it". Anyways, that's not the part I'm concerned about. My friend has a password on her phone. The teacher asked for the password, so my friend took it and entered the password. Then the Tech teacher began to yell at her, saying she had to have it. So my friend told her, and the teacher went searching through her phone. Later on that day, she called my friends mother off the phone. Is that illegal?
TL;DR: | Tech teacher takes friends phone, asks for password, searches through phone, and calls parent off of friends phone. Is that illegal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Cats bullying new cat in home
POST: Hey all. About a month ago, my wife and I got a new 1 1/2 year old Snowshoe cat from a friend who said she needed to get rid of him. We brought him home and kept him secluded on his own for about 2 weeks. Then we began to introduce them all and let him roam on his own.
Well, our youngest cat has no issues with him. However, our three oldest males are having issues. (All are fixed.) The new arrival, named JJ, seems very intimidated by the cats we already have, except for the 6 month old, and cowers whenever they are near which causes them to harass and swat at him. (Not violently to draw blood, but it scares him greatly.) The old water bottle then comes into play against the harassers. We then put JJ back in his old room and let him calm down.
We're greatly confused by this. I've introduced dozens of cats and never had this issue. JJ, the new cat, does seem very skiddish and scared of noises and growls whenever he hears people outside or if we pick him up for too long. We bought a Feliway plug-in and a Feliway spray bottle should arrive soon. We have also been putting the food near the door when he's locked up and we swap out beds and toys to spread the scent. (JJ does get locked up at night to be safe.)
Can anyone offer advice on how to stop this? We know the prior owner had 2 loud kids and a big, exciteable dog. Is JJ's nervousness causing them to antagonize him because they sense his fear? I would hate to have to find him a new home, but it's been about a month now since we got him and I've seen no improvement as of yet.
TL;DR: | New cat being harassed by prior cats. Switching toys and beds not helping. New cat very stressed out and scared of everything from noises to sudden movements. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my Gf [21 F] of 5 years, I know for a fact out relationship is going to end but I can't do it.
POST: She's not right for me and I'm definatly not right for her.
We have grown apart over a while and we can't seem to make that reconnection work. We have been open about it with eachother about how we both love one another and wish we could make it work.
But everytime I'm alone all I think about is how my life would be if I was single and when were together she's just always mad at me so then she lashes out and leaves me to spend the night with her friends most night of the week.
Her thing is that I'm too rude to her. But I've been talking to her the same for 5 years and the problem with not being able to piss her off after a simple car ride is recent.
My this I that I was too scared to tell her what I had problems with and we she finally got me to tell her, what di you know. Her feelings were hurt she lashes out then leaves.
She takes a lot of thing I do for her granted. She never makes me feel wanted she's just "associated" with me and is required to visit. And just generally has stopped making me feel good about myself.
All that wasn't like this a few years ago.
Now I'm just really scarred of the day it happens. And being single in general. I'm not sure ill be good at coping with it.
TL;DR: | I know my girlfriend and I are going to break up but I don't know how I'm going to handle it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24/F] with my wife [26/F] of 1 year- chore disputes.
POST: My wife is working, while I'm in law school. I am doing the lion's share of the "daily" chores (dishes, picking up, feeding the pets), except for cleaning litterboxes and three nights a week of cooking. My wife does "larger", but non-daily chores like cleaning the bathroom and washing the linens, but all she does daily is the litter and cooking 2-3 nights a week (we go out or have pizza the other nights).
She says that this is okay because she is the one working full-time, with a 20 minute commute each way. However, I am in my last year of school, and it's really difficult to have time for class, schoolwork, bar exam paperwork, and working out, plus studying for the ethics and bar exams now. She recognizes that this is a lot of work, but says as long as I am physically home, I can take a few minutes. However, those minutes really add up! On busy days, I sometimes short myself on sleep just to have some time to do what I want, and I'm concerned that she doesn't see what I'm doing as "important" like her work is. Advice?
TL;DR: | I do most daily chores because am home more, but have schoolwork and important exams coming up, and feel it is too much work- how do I talk to my wife about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The guy [m28] who is quickly becoming my [f27] boyfriend is amazing in so many...to amazing and I'm getting depressed with insecurity
POST: I can describe him really easily--he's sweet as hell to me, more than any other person I've met (and I'm not exaggerating), he's tremendously fit, he's smart, well-read and with expansive knowledge on many things, and not to mention he cooks.
Compare that to me--iffy mood, I can't even compliment him as well as he does me, I'm struggling to lose the 30 lbs. I put on after surgery while need a few more surgeries to fix the hanging skin issue from my massive weight loss, I can never get up the energy to cook anymore. And if this wasn't bad enough, I used to think I was reasonably intelligent until now.
He flubbed complimenting me and how he loves talking to me because other people bore him, then mentioned an author thinking I would know them and I didn't. It began to seriously dawn on me how out of my league he really is and I don't know how to handle it. I haven't read a quarter of the stuff he's read. I couldn't even properly reference an author I liked and messed up their name only 100 times until I noticed because I have an abysmal memory of names/titles (which I suppose should have clued me in to how stupid I really am).
I'm just not sure how to deal with this right now. Waiting for the moment he gets bored with the chick who doesn't do anything with her life anymore because of her brain's miniscule running capacity. Should I just break it off now before another failed relationship destroys me?
TL;DR: | I'm depressed because my boyfriend is overall better than me and I'm not sure what my next method of action should be. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Dog from shelter deathly afraid of everyone
POST: Hello there! I have never really posted anything much on Reddit as you can see by my profile, but this seemed like an appropriate place to ask my question.
My fiance and I just recently adopted a dog from the local shelter. She is half Jack Russel and half beagle. She is a very sweet dog, but is deathly afraid of people. I assume she was probably abused before, but as she was just dumped off at the shelter no one really knows. She is especially afraid of me and maybe that is because I am a 6'2" 290 lb man. I was just wondering if anyone has any hints as to what we can do to help this dog feel at home and be not so afraid of us. She doesn't bite nor bark... She cowers quite a bit if I come close to her.
What scares us more than anything, is that any opportunity the dog gets she runs! I am typing this at 4 in the morning where I live and I just spent the last hour and a half with my fiance catching the dog who ran well over a mile from our house. She slipped out of her collar and just would not come. The dog was just spayed yesterday, so now we are afraid she may have done damage to the healing process. The vet specifically told us that she cannot run for 10 days... We are going to take her to the Vet as soon as they open.
TL;DR: | We have a brand new dog that is afraid of everyone and were wondering if there were any tricks to get her over it |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Housing my girl outdoors 24/7
POST: Hello all! I'm in a bad situation here. Throwaway for personal reasons.
I had to move back in with my folks on short notice. I was living with four people and two of them are moving on short notice. I couldn't and wouldn't pay to live with the two remaining people, so I had to pack up and leave.
I live on a private drive with lots of woods, harmless wildlife, etc. and no neighbors. My plan was to keep my sweet 2.5 year old medium hair girl in my room while I was staying here until further notice, but my dad _hates_ cats and on top of giving me an absolutely awful time adjusting in the first place, he's demanded she go outside.
I'm against letting cats free roam outside all the time so the only option I have is to build her a pen. He picked up a 6' x 10' x 6' chain link dog kennel despite my telling him not to. I'll be setting it up in an area that is mostly shaded with dappled sun, installing a plywood floor, and, of course, stuffing it with goodies for her to lounge on and play with.
She's the sweetest cat I've ever seen in my life and everybody that's ever met her tells me that she isn't like a cat at all. I hate to rehome her. She's my baby and we've been through a ton these past two years. I'm afraid she'll be too lonely outside when we'd usually share a bed and just sit together all the time. Of course I'm going to find ways to let her kick around with me outside(leash, supervised on a tie-out, etc), but I really don't know if this is a good decision.
Does anybody have experience keeping cats confined outside for most of the time? Again, I have no idea how long I'll be stuck living here, but hopefully this won't be more than a few months or a year.
TL;DR: | my medium hair indoors lady cat might have to stay in a 6' wide x 10' long x 6' tall enclosure outside for a few months or a year before I can find ourselves a new home. Input? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Me [24 M] with a crush on [22 F] Casual meetings at a bar, Confused on what to do.
POST: So... there is this girl who I have been kind of crushing on for a while now and the only time we ever see one another is at the bar where everyone hangs out. Well last night after having some drinks and chatting for a bit near the end of the night I hug her because im leaving and she gives me a peck on the cheek and says im sweet.
Well she is kind of friendly to everyone hugging and what not so I give her a hug back giver her a peck back and tell her to have a good night and I wanted to tell her something later. (I want to ask her out) but... she seems interested in other people or seems like it but again she is friendly to a lot of people. I just can't get a read if I should just ask her out.
With the line regarding I wanted to tell her something later I wanted a clear answer rather than one where she had been drinking the whole night and me kind of chickening out on the question all together.
I just don't know how to go about it now. I don't want to ask her out on Facebook. So it will be like another time at the bar and she will have probably forgotten that conversation anyway
TL;DR: | Really wanted to ask a girl out because I am crushing on her but instead we give eachother a kiss on the cheek and I don't know what this means. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my crush/friend [25 M] of a few years, wants me to stop sleeping with my fuckbuddy [28 M].
POST: A month ago I ended a relationship with an SO and almost immediately began sleeping with a friend of mine. This is a no strings attached situation, but he's a cool guy that given the right circumstances I wouldn't mind dating.
Now, I just started talking to a new guy. I've known him for awhile, but this is the first time we've hung out romantically, I guess. He's smart and funny and I slept with him this weekend.
Now, I like where this guy and I are, but I also love fucking my other friend. My crush doesn't want me to continue sleeping with me if I'm actively sleeping with someone else.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | A new guy I'm seeing quasi-romantically wants me to stop sleeping with my fuckbuddy, but I don't see the problem. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [22m] get rid of an old college acquaintance[2?m] who I really, really dislike?
POST: So, back in college (2 years ago) I was... Never friends, but I knew this guy who hung out with myself and the rest of the people who I hung out with as well. The problem is, he was always horridly annoying and degrading - both to himself and everyone else. He contributed nothing to our group, and was a total buzzkill. Least to say, we absolutely hated this dude. We went out of our way to avoid him, but he normally found us. We even went so far as to literally say "We all hate you. Go away". And he wouldn't. He was like a sad, sick puppy dog that even though you didn't want to be around, you felt sorry for him. I hadn't heard from him until about 6 months ago, when he IM'd me on facebook and my (now ex) girlfriend thought it would be fun to hang out with. Well, I didn't have the balls to say no, so I went along. Except now about every two weeks he texts me wanting to do shit. I always make up excuses because I'm still too much of a wimp to tell him that I don't want to hang out with him (since he hasn't changed one bit). It's honestly just annoying to have to make up bullshit whenever I he calls and I'd rather him just be out of my life at this point. But, I hate (HATE) making people feel bad. So I don't know what to do at this instance.
TL;DR: | Old college acquaintance who I severely dislike wants to hang out often and I don't have the balls to tell him to screw off. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21F] boyfriend [19M] of five months exposed himself to me out of nowhere even though I made it clear I don't want a sexual relationship. What?
POST: Throwaway because people know my usual account.
I'm committed to not having a sexual relationship outside of marriage. My boyfriend and I have known each other for a year, dating for almost six months. We've had many discussions about this. I understand that waiting is difficult, but it's really important to me.
The problem is that there have been several instances that have made me feel incredibly uncomfortable and even betrayed. I make it clear that I am uncomfortable and that we need to stop when I feel we are going too far, but sometimes he holds my hands in place and takes a few moments to let go. As far as I'm concerned, no means no, and he should immediately let go.
But what bothers me the most is that about a month ago, I turned around to find his shorts lowered and everything on display. I immediately turned back around, expressed how uncomfortable and disappointed I was, and sat down. I was really upset, and so was he. He was sorry. He didn't understand why I didn't want to see him. He thought it would be funny. He eventually took ownership of his mistake and apologized.
But I still feel really, really uncomfortable about this. I feel like it's a betrayal of trust and a failure to respect me and my boundaries. He's been a lot better since then. And he's a really great guy: intelligent, compassionate, kind, loving. He adores me, and I love him. But I'm not really sure how to respond to this.
TL;DR: | I turned around and saw my boyfriend on display. He is perfectly aware of my values, and this is not consistent with them. I don't really know how to deal with this. How do we move forward? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is he (26M) getting really serious with me (24F) and should I broach the exclusivity convo?
POST: Hi guys! So there's this wonderful guy I've been sort of seeing for the past 9 months. We're not the type who believes in labels and such so we've never broached the "what are we doing?" topic, but suffice it to say we're inseparable, we have an intimate (read: sexual) relationship, we stay over each other's place, etc. Our families also know each other.
Anyway lately he's been getting much more lovey dovey with me. He's always been affectionate, but I feel like he's really getting serious and it's nice. Last night we were tickling each other on the couch in post coital bliss and he turned to me and said, "when we have kids, I hope they're not bald like me" and giggled. He's also said things like, "you'd be a wonderful mom" and other references to staying with me for a very long time. Sometimes he jokes about me carrying his large Dutch babies... lol (there's a height difference of over 1 feet between us) and we laugh because I say I would explode.
It all sounds nice but: I know that in the past he's been in lots of open relationships (we are not doing that), and I don't want to scare him away by finally broaching the exclusivity convo. Am I safe to bring it up now? I love him, and I want things to be just us, explicitly. Is he starting to nest? Are things finally getting serious, or is it possible he's just pulling my chain? I don't want to have kids right now at all, but I do want to be completely exclusive...
TL;DR: | I can't tell if my "boyfriend" is starting to get serious. Wondering if I should bring up the exclusivity convo. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: In college [19/m] feeling lonely? Need help?
POST: Hey everyone,
I go to a big state school and am generally very happy with my choice to attend this school (I'm in my 4th semester). I'm going to try to keep this short but lately I have been feeling kind of lonely and kind of empty inside.
The reas on I chose to post this here in relationships is because I have a lot of friends (both male and female), I recently joined a fraternity, my grades have been pretty good in a tough major, my roommates are awesome and great friends of mine, I have no family problems whatsoever, etc. Point is, there isn't anything outstanding in my life. It just feels like something is missing sometimes.
It's not that I can't get girls, though most of the girls I've been with since I broke up with my girlfriend of a year and a half over the summer, have been a hook up or a 1 night stand. I don't really mind this from a moral perspective honestly, but I sometimes think what's is some sort of consistent female companionship.
For some reason this is proving to be difficult to find. I have no problems getting a girl in a party setting, or talking to people. I'm not awkward or anything, but any girl I'm friends with seems to be either off limits for some reason or another (mutual friends, exs, etc) or someone that I'd prefer to keep a friend.
What should I do? Where should I look? Any tips?
TL;DR: | I generally live a good life, have good friends, but still feel lonely sometimes. I want some sort of consistent female companionship, but am having trouble finding it. Any suggestions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I don't know what to do
POST: My girlfriend of 3+ years just told me she doesn't know if she loves me any more. I only talked to her online because she was scared to come home and talk to me in person. We've been living together for about 6 months. I tried to coax what I could out of her, but every word she said just lead me to believe more and more that I couldn't change her mind, and despite her saying that she didn't know, I knew that she didn't love me "romantically" any more.
So I have to go to my classes at my university today because I need the review for my finals. I'm here, on the library computers, and my hands are shaking and my chest hurts. I'm going to be here all day, but I'm supposed to see her in person tonight. I don't know what to do or say. I just feel awful, and I need some help.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend says she doesn't know if she loves me any more, probably doesn't, and I have to face her tonight. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Should I slow my weight loss?
POST: Hey all, so over the past year or so I have been actively losing weight by changing my diet. I'm a 5'9 male that started at 275 lbs and was cutting and counting calories, losing weight at a solid pace. I have switched up my calorie intake a few times throughout, giving myself a lot of calories in the beginning to start slow but eventually was cutting very hard. I was eating around 1200-1300 calories a day and exercising a few times a week. That went on for a couple months but I realized that while I was losing the weight I wasn't feeling that great and that maybe I was doing more harm than good and decided I needed to eat more. I have been sitting at around 1500 calories a day for the past couple months with exercise around 4 times a week (mostly cardio) and its been solid. I am down to around 187 lbs and am in some of the best shape I have been in years. Also a lot of people have been giving me compliments and its been nice. That being said, I still want to lose another 15 or so pounds but have started to notice my stomach is really flabby and squishy and have noticeable stretch marks. I have started to weight lift heavy and want to get my last weight lost but also look better aesthetically and not just on the scale. was wondering if I should maybe slow my weight loss to a pound a week so I can keep some of the muscle I have and possibly help out with the skin on my stomach. Was curious if anybody had any similar feelings after losing a lot of weight. Thanks.
TL;DR: | Lost 85 lbs in just over a year, stomach is flabby and squishy with some quality stretch marks. Started lifting heavy weight, should I up my calories and slow the weight loss? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it OK if I lose my shit?
POST: Background: A few months ago, we found out that my SO's father has cancer. His sister --who recently graduated college and lives in another city --was staying with us over the holidays when we found out, and stayed with us for another month under the premise that she wanted to "help".
Since then, she has come to our place almost every weekend.
Here is my complaint.
She invites people like her boyfriend and their mom over to our house without checking with us first. Seriously. This ACTUALLY happens. It will be a Saturday morning and she'll say "Oh by the way, my mom is coming by in an hour". This weekend we went away and she still came, which I thought was weird, until I found out that both her mom and her boyfriend were visiting while we were gone.
Is this not a huge infringement on boundaries? I feel like she's treating our house like it's a fucking hotel and I'm pissed. I have made this fairly clear through showing frustration when she mentions this stuff, but she KEEPS doing it anyway. I feel like I keep bottling it up and I will blow up at her one day.
I recently found out that she thinks my SO and I are "living in sin" because we're not married. She has been with her boyfriend for over 3 years probably and from what I understand, they don't have sex. OK fine, congrats to them... To each their own. But it's ridiculous that she's judging me but feels it's OK to stay at my house and eat my food without even offering to pay for anything. She is judgmental about everything else too... she has scolded my SO for spending money in ways she find frivolous.
My SO says that she hates their dad and suspects that she's only here to monitor and make sure he's not getting more money from his (small) estate.
Is it OK if I lose my shit in this situation? It's having a negative impact on my & my SO's relationship.
TL;DR: | My SO's sister has been gypsying it up at our house since their dad's cancer diagnosis. She judges us, and I feel disrespected because of it. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Girlfriend [26/f] and I [25/m] are breaking up. Looking to move, how can I get out of lease and make process as painless as possible for her?
POST: I want to apologize if this is wrong place to post.
So basically what the title says. Unfortunately our relationship is to the point where I really don't feel I am able to provide and be the partner she needs and wants. She would like me out ASAP, I found an apartment this morning and will be putting a deposit tonight.
For the current apartment, most of the utilities and bills are under my name. The lease was originally for 4 years, and auto-renews every year. The renewal date is the beginning of the month and requires 90 days notice before changes can be made. Does anyone have advice on how I can negotiate with the landlord to get out of the lease? I also want to make this process as easy as possible for my partner.
TL;DR: | Breaking up and moving out of apartment w/ a co-signed 4-year lease that auto-renewed and outside 90 days notification window. Want to move out and not cause further pain to other party. Need advice! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Are we sexually incompatible, or am I blowing this out of proportion?
POST: This is my first exclusive relationship, and I recently had a conversation with my SO that left me really worried and not sure of what to do. I am 24F and my SO is 27M.
He revealed to me that he doesn't care too much about having sex, and that he mostly just does it because I like it so much, and it makes him happy to make me happy. After I questioned him about it, he said he does obviously enjoy sex, it feels good, it's just not a huge need for him, and he much prefers cuddling and closeness. He also said it's certainly not the case that we only have sex because of me. However, this is still a problem for me because:
1. I now feel selfish about wanting sex. We don't have it as much as I would like, and now I feel especially bad about wanting more, and a little pessimistic about the future of our relationship.
2. I want to feel attractive and desired, which would require for him to initiate more and act like he really wants me - difficult now that I know he doesn't "need" sex like I do.
Today I told him these things over text, and he responded by saying that he doesn't initiate more because he doesn't want sex to be the only thing we have. We have sex every night that we see each other, but it's usually too short of a session, and not enough for me. Unfortunately we're both very busy with work and live an hour away from each other, so 3 evenings a week is the most we can see each other. This doesn't leave much time for us to do anything together other than sex and cuddling.
Is this a typical case of sexual incompatibility, or is there more to it that can be fixed?
TL;DR: | I feel unsatisfied, but guilty for wanting more sex because SO says sex is not really a priority for him, and he likes it mostly for my sake. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: My girlfriend (20/F) and I (21/M) are looking to get our first apartment together. Can anyone recommend the financial state we should be in/consider before choosing one?
POST: I am currently a college student, but I only go to school part time while working a part time job that averages 30 hours per week and I'm looking for another job in order to average 50 hours per week over the summer. She is going to school for cosmetology and she is graduating mid September. She is currently looking for a part time job that is not in her area of expertise, plus she is lining up a position at a salon. We are looking to get an apartment in October. We have done some research and are wary of other costs besides base rent (utilities, transportation, groceries). By the time October comes around she will have a minimum of $9,000 in savings and I will have a minimum of $4,500. A conservative estimate of what I will be making monthly is $1,000 and her $900. We realize money is probably going to be tight no matter what, but we would like some advice as to what we can actually afford, in terms of total cost of living per month. We are planning to split those costs down the middle (her choice) even if one of us makes more than the other.
TL;DR: | (21/M) and (20/F) making a combined $1,900 per month with $13,500 in combined savings. What can we ACTUALLY afford to spend in total per month? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: A bunch of us are going out for my best friend's birthday tonight. Is it customary to buy her a drink (or shot)? or do I NOT have to?
POST: Not sure who else I can ask this, without sounding socially inept and since I can't ask the birthday girl herself, here I am... My best friend does drink. She's by no means an alcoholic, but she does like to drink when she goes out...I on the other hand don't usually go out or particularly like the bar/club scene, which is where we will be going tonight. She turned 22 today. Anyway, funds are low...well to be honest I don't have any money, except that I am borrowing some money from my parents till I can pay them back in 2 months. Anyhow, I don't want to be cheap or seem stingey, but do I buy her a drink? or a shot? which one is cheaper? I'm not even sure what the difference is...but the thing is this friend...if I tell her to choose the drink, I fear she will choose something that's more expensive (she's taken advantage of me like that before). this is why I'm wondering if it is customary that I should buy a drink/shot for her birthday, I want to get something that is on the cheaper side. So, I'm not sure if that means I get her a shot or a drink or a margarita perhaps? also, how much do you typically tip the bartender? thanks reddit! I still have to buy her a b-day gift too, so I need money for that.
TL;DR: | friends birthday today. do I HAVE TO buy her a drink? if I do, what's the cheapest thing that is decent that I can get for her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] for 2 months, She gets bored too easily when I'm not there.
POST: I've known her for almost a year and have flirted with her a lot in the past via texting, Skype etc. Decided to begin "going out", and she wants to move in with me. She lives far away, so I would have done it sooner if not for that. I'm not having her move in, but will have her visit for a month or so.
Now here's the thing... she gets bored way too easily. If she's not talking to me on Skype she's texting me, either talking to me via text or telling me to get on Skype. I really don't like Skype, it's hard to understand each other, which is why I like texting as it's reading instead of bad-quality VoIP.
But I need time to myself. I'm constantly making up excuses as to why I don't type back via texting, or why I can't come on Skype. I can't even get a day to myself anymore. I've actually turned off my phone for a few hours before to just get away for a while.
I love her and I *know* things will be different when living together, because I really do not mind just sitting there being bored *together*, because I'm kind of a boring guy myself. But I really just don't like Skyping, it's this whole *thing* that you have to get dedicated to. But just sitting on the couch beside each other watching something... that sounds so perfect to me. But Skyping.. I just HATE it. It's so awkward and uncomforatble, it's nothing like an actual converstaion. It's like a weird half-way point between IM and a real conversation.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has zero hobbies and can't entertain herself, always wants me to entertain her even though I don't like to do that litreally ALL THE TIME. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (21F) with my boyfriend (20M) of four years. He wants to stay in a relationship with me but also wants to have sex with someone else. Should I dump him or do something else?
POST: Hey everyone, I've read through this sub for a long time and now really need your help. Please excuse any mistakes, I am fairly drunk as I'm writing this.
My boyfriend Matt and I have been together for four years and we have had what I have always thought was the perfect relationship, the kind other couples are envious of. We were each other's firsts and hardly ever fight. This was until last night.
Last night Matt sent me several messages stating that he wasn't okay. When he finally told me why, it was because he really wanted to have sex with someone that wasn't me (not a specific person) but also didn't want to lose me. He has been pretty eager to have a threesome for the past couple of years, bringing it up regularly and has been more intense about it recently. I don't really mind having a threesome as long as its with someone we don't know but it hasn't happened. I'm not fussed as the only reason I would participate in one is because I know Matt wants one quite badly but he has taken plans falling through with several people that might be up for it very badly.
Now he is saying he wants to have sex with someone else once just to be with someone different. I love him so much and don't want to lose him, but I don't know if I can trust him not to cheat after being told this. I'm wondering if we're just too young and need to split up now? Or I should I try to work on this with him. He has said that it would be easier for him to just kill himself and I have never known him to be as dramatic as that, it's scaring me quite a bit. I would really appreciate some advice on this.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend has recently told me that he wants to have sex with someone else but also wants to stay in a relationship with me. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The guy [25 M] who I [24 M] have been seeing suddenly blocked my number and deleted me off Facebook last night.
POST: I had been seeing this guy for three weeks. He was working yesterday evening, and I text to ask him if he wanted to meet up when he was finished because a friend and I were heading into town. He said yes and asked me to call him later to let him know where we were.
I rang him about an hour after he finished work, but he didn't answer. I tried again thirty minutes after, and got the recorded message saying "the number you have called does not exist". I know that that's what happens when a person has blocked your number, but I couldn't really believe that he would have done that, so I gave him a missed call from my friend's phone. It worked, it was ringing, so he'd definitely blocked me.
When I got home I went on Facebook to send him a message, kind of hoping that maybe there had been some kind of problem with my phone. Nope, he'd blocked me on Facebook too.
I have no idea what happened. Everything seemed fine - though obviously, for him, it wasn't - but it's just so fucking weird. Yesterday morning he sent a random, affectionate text saying how much he wanted to see me this weekend, and then fifteen hours later he's blocking all contact with me.
So, I'm feeling pretty miserable right now. It's not so much about the loss of the "relationship" - after all it had only been three weeks - it's more that it's a pretty fucking huge confidence-hit. It made me look like an idiot in front of my friend, and I don't know what I did (or even if I did anything) to warrant such an aggressive ending to it.
I should probably add that I've been acquaintances with this guy for a while before we started going out, and it seems so out of character for him to do something like this, but also I cannot think of any possibly reason why he would. I don't know, am I just an appalling judge of character? And how do you deal with such an offensive and humiliating way of being dumped?
TL;DR: | Went out with a guy for a few weeks, everything seemed fine, last night he suddenly blocked my number and facebook. No clue what I did, but self-confidence has taken a pretty big hit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex (m/24) wants to hang out with me (f/21) after its been almost 4 years since we dated
POST: I (F/21) am having a hard time figuring this out.
We dated from May-December 2010
I was almost 18 and he was 21. Long story short, he wanted a fuck buddy, I wanted an exclusive relationship.
It was my first relationship so I was naive and slowly learning things.
We broke up and moved on. Hes (M/24)not single. I'm not single.
He checks up on me every few months and this time he asked if Id be interested in hanging out.
I cant figure out if he really wants to be friends or has other intentions. Big part of me is saying the latter.
What is up
TL;DR: | ex wants to hang out. Confused as to what to do because ive heard of people being friends with exes |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] and my girlfriend [20 F] of five months just broke up/on break and I'm not sure what to do.
POST: *First time Reddit post, be gentle. : )* Okay, I know 5 months isn't a very long time, and most people would tell me "It's not the end of the world." or "At least it wasn't five years." But more to the point, she broke up with me the day after my birthday, she told me that she shouldn't be in a relationship right now, she just needs to be alone and that she would be open to dating me in the future and if it helps I can think if it as a break. When I asked if it really was or not, she said, "I don't know." She also started off the conversation with "I love you very much and you are very important to me."
It's been almost a month now and we have had zero contact. I have seen her throughout campus and she never acknowledges me. I just need some unbiased opinions on should I try and contact her or not. All of my friends tell me to forget about her, but they're not really listening to the other side if the story here. She has some anxiety and low self esteem issues and on the one hand I think she does just need some time but on the other hand I can't help but think she was just trying to spare my feelings. What do you think, Reddit?
TL;DR: | I'm not sure if she was just trying to spare my feelings or if she really does want to give it another shot later. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Does he [35/M] really wanna take things slow or is he not into me [27/F]?
POST: We've been on five dates. Unlike all my other dates, he's really playful and we constantly tickle/pull pranks/tease each other and laugh at each other's expense. It's incredibly fun spending time with him. I went to his place on our last date, and fooled around for a bit, but I was on my period so we just watched Bob's Burgers and cuddled. It was freakin awesome.
However, I notice that he's not so good at keeping in touch with me. He'll text me once every few days, but the conversation never lasts. On our first date, we both talked about how hard it's been to date in this city. He told me that the last few women he's seen in the past has ghosted on him after a few weeks, and what a horrible feeling that is.
I asked him about the texts before, and he said that he's bad at texting and he just wants to take things slow. I'm someone who needs a lot of space, so that's not an issue... but part of me worries that maybe he just isn't that into me. I've been hurt badly earlier this year, and it scares me because I feel myself getting more attached every time I see him. I'm scared of my own emotions.
TL;DR: | We have a good time in person, but he's otherwise pretty distant. Not sure if he's really taking it slow or just not interested in me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Pregnant?
POST: First off, screw the title, I'm not cool enough to come up with a good title.
Secondly, screw writing some long sad story.
Thirdly, I might be pregnant, the test says I'm not, but I took it before my missed period. It's been almost a month since the conception date and I'm a week late. All the signs are there. My boyfriend keeps saying "you're not, it's going to be okay, I promise" but it's not, I'm scared. I come from a very christian home and I'm scared to talk to my mom. You (bf) were my first, we aren't getting married anytime soon, I want to get married the right way-not while pregnant/with a young one.
I don't know what to do, everytime I think about being pregnant I get depressed. If I'm pregnant, I don't know what I'm going to do. At night I lay in bed and am disgusted with my self so being so stupid-no protection- and now if I am pregnant, I don't want to ruin this kids life because his/her mother is a freaking idiot. I have no one to talk to except reddit. My boyfriend works constantly to just live. And I'm just...i have no car and no money. So I have no way to get out and have space. I have all the signs of pregnancy and now....I'm scared that I will be too depressed to be a good mother...I am afraid I will fall back into my deep depression and do something drastic.
P.s. Boyfriend is a redditor and I am afraid for him to see this, that's why there aren't full details.
TL;DR: | stressed, might be pregnant, no way to find out for sure. Afraid to fall back into deep depression n be a horrible mother. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Did anyone else have these problems in dreams?
POST: So i had these problems in my dreams when i was younger (about from 4 to 10 years old). In my dreams, i would be having a dream and i would blink. For me, blinking would somehow bring me back to the real world, or, in most cases, turn my entire dream blurry for about 30 seconds. I realized this in dreams that were affected by this, and tried to avoid blinking.
I also had a problem where in a lot of dreams I could not run properly, like as if i were running on ice or a treadmill. This happened commonly, and the dreams it took place in could range from running in a race or running away from a crashing plane hell bent on crushing me.
My last (not-so-much) problem was that a lot of the times my dreams were dreams that happened in the future. Examples would be like the final mission in CoD 4 where you are being chased in a car through tunnels (My blinking problem affected this dream). This was back before mw1 had come out, and i was very surprised to see this almost exact same scenario happen in a future video game made years later. Another thing that happened was that i had a dream where my baby sister finally learned to crawl up the stairs, next day, said sister climbs up stairs with similar results.
Is this normal for the average dreamer?
TL;DR: | I blink to release myself from the dream world, i run on ice in dreams, and i can predict the future. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: After a night out, I can't remember whether I told her I'd call or she agreed she'd call/text me. What do I do?
POST: 21/M (me) and 21/F (her). Both students.
I had a date with this girl a week ago and it went well - I asked her for a second date at the end of the first, and she agreed. Unfortunately, something came up and I realized that I had to move it to a later date. Not a huge deal, and we have mutual friends, so I actually met up with her and our friends at a bar a night before the date was originally supposed to happen.
I didn't do anything stupid at the bar (at least as far as I can gather from asking our mutual friends), but I did get drunk enough that my memory of that night's pretty spotty. I remember the following:
* What bar(s) we went to,
* Late night pizza after last call,
* And most importantly, me asking her if she could go out later in the week, since the original date wasn't going to work.
I only realized the morning after how drunk I had gotten, and I still haven't figured out whether I told her I'd call/text her this week to pick a time and day, or whether she agreed to call/text me after she had her work schedule figured out. I don't want to leave her hanging or seem rude if I was supposed to call, but I also don't want to come across as desperate if she told me she'd call.
It's not a huge deal, and I'm sure I could explain to her that I couldn't quite remember who was supposed to call, but I just don't want to give her the wrong impression for a stupid reason. Advice?
TL;DR: | I got a little too drunk, but not sloppy drunk, and can't remember everything that happened at the bar, including who was supposed to call whom to set a date. Should I call or not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17 M] broke up with my girlfriend [17 F] of 6 months, we agreed there was no future in long distance. But it hurts so much.
POST: Ever since day one we both knew that long distance would not work yet we risked our friendship trying.
It's been 6 months and approximately 4 hours ago she told me she not did prioritize me(our relationship) and she couldn't feel like she could love me whole-heartedly because we're missing physical contact.
The break up was...fine, we mostly agreed on the same thing that we saw this coming and wished each other the best.
We decided it's best to keep in touch but you know, as friends. If we went back to our relationship, there'd be too many consequences.
So even though I knew this day would be coming...it still hurt a whole lot. It's been an amazing 6 months with her and I wake up to her messages and talk to her as soon as I get home.
I don't have many friends at all and she was the one who usually kept me company or listened to me babble about my day.
All these memories came to haunt me and the loneliness...I don't even want to think about it.
It's 6:16 am and I can't sleep at all. I feel like it still hasn't hit me
yet but I feel so sick and so lonely. My head hurts and I have no idea how to ease this pain.
Should I continue talking to her? I know she's in the same pain as I'm in right now. It hurts so much.
TL;DR: | Long distance relationship collapsed. Feeling like crap. We both still want each other in our lives but it's painful and things aren't ever going to be the same way again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: I need your advice on a conversation I had with the girl I like last night, did I mess up her relationship with her boyfriend and my relationship with her?
POST: So this girl on the floor below mine in our dorm, both of us are 18 I'm a guy, is (not to objectify, but this is true) pretty much the ideal girl for me. Not only is she smart, funny, clever, nerdy (in a good way) sweet, and very pretty, but from when we first met we clicked immediately and have been close friends since the first or second day that we met, and I'd be willing to call her my best girl friend.
The only issue is that she's in a relationship with a guy from another university (He is 18 and they've been dating for three years, though they broke up once for a few months). Now last night we were hanging out in my room, nothing unusual she was studying for calc and I was laying on my bed and we were making idle chitchat, then her boyfriend came up. She was telling me about her relationship and I told her my honest opinion that I think that she should break up with him, but I did tell her my feelings on her relationship as a friend not as someone romantically interested.
Now before I go on I should mention that our interactions recently have gotten more and more flirtatious and everyone is noticing. However when we're alone and talking she responds to everything I say with things that can go two ways, either "I like you" or "I don't like you that way".
What I'm worried about is that if she does like me (our friends keep telling me she does) did I fuck everything up (both her relationship and ours) by saying that she should break up with him, and if they do break up should I pursue a relationship if she is open to one? I'm just worried that she doesn't have true feelings and that she's just looking for someone out of hurt and that if anything happens after a few weeks or months she'll realize I'm not what she wants and then I won't have her at all...
TL;DR: | I like a girl on the floor below mine, told her she should break up with her boyfriend of three years because it's not a healthy relationship, may have screwed everyone involved over |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23/F] trying to help my SO [36/M] forgive his father.
POST: My significant other is from Vietnam and him and his family came to the United States when he was one years old. His brother was about 4 years old, his sister about 7 years old, and his oldest brother was about 10 years old. His father got caught and was left behind. No calls. No letters. He even started a new family. No one heard from him until about 25 years later when he decided to show up. But even now, about 12 years later since he's been back, my SO hasn't forgiven him. He thinks very poorly of him for leaving his mother and for forgetting about his kids. Which I completely understand. He will greet him at family functions but that is the extent of their relationship. His father is only getting older and I don't want him to regret not getting to know him. What can I say to him that might encourage him to want to strengthen their relationship?
TL;DR: | SO's father neglected his family for 25 years and started a new family. He's been back in the picture for about 12 years now but my SO doesn't want anything to do with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F] with my girlfriend [20F] 2 months, Moving very fast good/bad?
POST: We've only been dating officially for about 2 months but we've been close and have always loved each other. It's not like
anything else and we've both been with other people. Now that we're together it's amazing, we don't fight, we understand
each other very well. It's almost too good to be true - but it's real. It's moving very fast and I know things can fall apart from
that, but if we're comfortable and enjoy it all, should we slow it down? And by fast I mean like if i'd ask her tomorrow to marry
me and never regret it. We both have never felt this way before and the more time we spend together the better it is, though
we both like our time apart. We just work together. But now that I have her, I want it to really last. We plan on moving in
together within 4 months, and we've jokingly talked about getting married and I said I wouldn't regret it if we did it, she
said she wouldn't either. And it's not just one time, it's multiple times.
TL;DR: | Love this girl very much, we're happy together but moving fast and although i'm okay with it, i'm worried about the crash and burn. Should I purposefully slow it down or let it continue at the pace? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [26M] my best friend [21F] doesn't think we should hang out alone together any more
POST: So basically it's like this. I've know this girl for a little under 2 years. Our relationship has been complicated for most of that, and was made more complicated when she started seeing her boyfriend, about 8 months ago. Things have only started to return to normal between us in recent months, and while I still rather like her, I'm satisfied just being her friend, and am looking for other relationships. I'm still extremely fond of her as a person, and I consider her my best friend.
Unfortunately circumstances are such that we've never seen eachother in person very often (as in, several months at a time). So I very much look forward to the rare chances we do get to spend together. But today she tells me that she'd "prefer if we did something in a group setting". She tells me her bf has anxiety issues, and to him it's very obvious that I like her (even though I've never met/interacted with the guy in the slightest), and this apparently upsets him a lot. So in order to not upset him, she doesn't want to hang out with me alone.
So I guess I don't know how to feel / what to do about this. Like here I am, we can barely find a way to see eachother twice a year, and now we have to find a way to add a third person? I guess it just makes it feel like she's very clearly choosing him over me, like I'm obviously less important, and it feels like a bit of a stab in the heart. And on some level sure, it makes sense she's going to choose her boyfriend over me, and I get her reasoning, I would probably be the same way. But nonetheless, I'm kind of angry at the fact that just when this was starting to looking like a normal friendship, this shit has to come around.
(and just to be clear, this isn't him being manipulative, this is coming from her. She definitely considers me a good friend, and it's not like she doesn't want to hang out together, it's just less important than not upsetting the bf)
TL;DR: | My best friend, whom I like/liked, doesn't think it's a good idea to hang out alone any more because it might upset her boyfriend |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33F] with my neighbor/super's son [late 20s M] smokes pot on steps below my window
POST: Son of the super smokes pot with his friends outside my window. He lives in the apartment next to me, and often smoke comes through the heating vent too.
It annoys me because it goes in my closet even though I've taped all creases. I sometimes get awaken by the smoke and am too angry to get back to sleep. He is mostly in the company of guys so I don't know how to approach him and tell him it's bothering me. He's been short-tempered with others.
I don't want to cause any trouble or draw attention to myself because currently I live on my own and the neighborhood is not the safest so retaliation of some sort is not precluded.
TL;DR: | Son of super smokes pot under my window. Can't sleep & don't know how to ask him to go elsewhere without angering him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24/F] breaking up with my first boyfriend (24/M) of a few days. I live an hour away - what is the right thing to do? [Details inside]
POST: I met a guy off OKC back in the end of October and we've been talking since then. I had moved away (10 hours) when we started talking and returned to town for the winter holiday. In the past 9 days, I've spent four nights with him (we've tried, but failed to have sex; I'm a virgin).
I agreed to be his girlfriend prematurely - and I'm realizing now that we aren't going to work out. There are many, many reasons - a plethora. He is a very intense person, and "I just don't think we're compatible" isn't going to cut it, both because of his personality and because it isn't true. Any reason I give and he thinks it's something that can be worked through. But because of his dominating, unyielding personality, I know that this isn't true.
I live an hour away and will be going back out of town in five days. I don't know what the most gentle and most ethical thing to do is here. Should I break up with him over phone or should I drive an hour to his house tomorrow and talk with him, then drive an hour back? What's the fairest and most respectful thing for both of us? And in either circumstance, how can I initiate this as respectfully and cleanly as possible?
^And, ^I ^don't ^know ^if ^anyone ^can ^give ^advice ^with ^this ^specifically, ^but ^how ^can ^I ^do ^this ^without ^crying?
TL;DR: | Breaking up with long-distance boyfriend (ten hours away) of a short for intense relationship, presently an hour away and looking for advice on how to end this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] have a hard time communicating with my girlfriend [20 F] of 6 months in bed
POST: My girlfriend is completely normal and I love her for it, but she is truly inexperienced and awkward when it comes to sexuality.
Just some background: My girlfriend and I both have not had any real sexual experiences before each other. We only engage in foreplay acts because of her personal morals/values (no sex until marriage). The thing is, throughout her childhood back in Europe (in U.S. now), she was not exposed to sex much at all due to parental and culture values. She told me the only pornographic material she has seen was brief and by chance rather than on purpose or out of curiosity. Obviously as a guy I've seen a lot more than she has.
This is concerning to me because she has no real concept of what she could/should be doing to me or to herself. Whenever we fool around in bed, she is completely silent. She very seldom communicates what feels good or bad. I actively ask her what feels good, what she wants, ask her to show me, etc. but she just sort of shrugs it off, creating an uncomfortable moment. I've told her all I want to do is please her and that she can feel safe/comfortable around me but she just sort of gets weird. She is obviously in to it and enjoying it to some degree but is unwilling to help me help her in a sense, you know? I want to be able to blow her mind!
With both of us being inexperienced, her "true" inexperience leaves her really at a loss and unwilling to discuss sexual matters during or outside of the act.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is very inexperienced with sexual activity in general. Unwilling to communicate even when asked and assured that everything is fine. Not sure how to move forward not being extremely confident myself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (20 F) wife (20 F) undermines me with my parents (58 F/60 M).
POST: If I have a disagreement with my parents about anything, my wife takes their side. She claims she hates confrontation and is trying to avoid a fight but she just makes me livid.
Today, for instance, my sick and physically disabled mother was struggling to breathe. When asked if she needed to go to the hospital, she made up an excuse about insurance and not wanting to go. My wife said wait until Monday and then if she isn't better she will go. I have class all day on Monday. My mom said wait until Tuesday. My wife agreed with her.
TL;DR: | MY MOTHER CAN'T BREATHE AND MY WIFE AGREED TO PUT OFF A HOSPITAL VISIT. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Young gamer looking for advice towards promoting myself
POST: Greetings Reddit,
Before getting exorcised into oblivion i would like to start out by saying that I personally consider this to be a more /r/AskReddit question rather than a /r/Gaming one.
I am currently a law student, 3rd year, working into becoming a lawyer, but gaming has always been my true passion. Ever since i was placed in front of a PC at the age of 5 I started discovering games. From console games to PC games I have explored quite a few.
But let me get back to my question; I've seen many people get promoted / sponsored by different companies such as Alienware, Nvidia, Razer etc. and I have always wondered how they got so far.
Currently I am a League of Legends maniac and have been (currently on break) one of the best PvP-ers on my server in World of Warcraft.
I've tried applying for a job at Blizzard and i am thinking on applying for one at Riot (the company that produces League of Legends), but I am the mostly shy type in general.
What i wanted to ask is if anyone has any friends / relatives that have been promoted or have gotten really far with gaming. I've seen a lot being promoted from their videos on youtube - fact is my coal powered, antique PC can not really stand any 3rd party software for video capturing, so this rules self advertising from the list.
Any job in the gaming branch would satisfy me, due to the fact that gaming IS my passion.
Not sure if this will even go through the spam filter, but hopefully someone will read this and eventually provide some advice.
Thank you in advance !
TL;DR: | Passionate gamer looking for people that have gotten far with gaming (i.e. work for a company / play for a team) and seeking advice in what to do to get to that point. |
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