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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Just coming to the end of a three year relationship, need help please [18m][17f]
POST: I've been with this girl for as long as I've known her. I love her completely! I can't imagine life without her but she's already moved on!
I knew this was coming, months ago she said that she loved me more as a friend. I thought it was because she was depressed for this first time. I did my best to carry her through it, but when she came out on the other side she didn't love me anymore.
She kept saying she did. But she stopped wanting to have sex with me. She started going out on the town with a fake id and going to parties, when I asked if I could join her she would say no. All of that hurt but it doesn't come close to how I feel about her forgetting about me. I just want her back, all the advice says just move on! But I want her.
A few weeks ago a guy at work asked her out and she said no, but didn't tell him about me. She wouldn't tell me who he was and only told me about it when she was drunk (without me). She saif she's never in the mood for sex but would have really sexual dreams where she touch herself and call out to guys names (not mine).
She still wants to be friends but she wants me to move on before we can do that. I've so much more to say but my formatting is already pretty terrible and I'm on my phone.
Please help me know what to do. Do I carry on loving her and let her have her fun for a few months. Or do I forget about her, bare in mind my friends would take her side over mine, meaning I'll not have anyone to talk to if I don't want to see her.
I'm sorry about how rambly I am. It's all still very fresh.
TL;DR: | The girl I wanted to marry wants to just be friends after 3 years so she can party and sleep around while she's young. What's the best way to go about this to have her back when she's done? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: He's [27/m] not able to ever talk about emotions to me [19/f], he's also not been in many relationships. How do I approach this issue?
POST: So we've just made it official with a verbal confirmation after a month of hanging out and practically being a couple. We also have been talking for 2 months. An issue is he cannot talk about any emotions whatever so ever without being pushed. Which I don't want to push him but sometimes I have things we need to communicate. How do I approach this situation without offending him and so we can come up with a solution? I really really like him, so it's not a deal breaker. I know it can also bring issues later on. I just know I would be way happier with more verbal communication.
TL;DR: | Dude can't talk about his feelings, it will be an eventual problem. How do I nicely bring it up and hopefully solve the issue? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Whats the funniest experience you've had under the influence?
POST: It was the second time I had ever smoked. My first time I had used a pipe, so although I took several hits, my high was not that strong. This time however, we used my friend's bong, again, it was my first time ever using a bond For those who dont smoke, bongs give you much stronger hits as they are much more capable of creating the smoke. Anyway, we basically smoked several bowls, this is the highest we'd ever been, and it was only our second time. So we decide its a good idea to go to shakeys pizza, so were walking there. We're about a block away from the place, when I tell them I have a great idea. As we approach the window of the restaurant, I tell my friends my genius plan to stay low key and not raise suspicion. After what seems like hours of lecturing and detailing, telling my friends what were going to order, where were going to sit, etc, etc, I hear the sound of distant laughter. Confused, I turn my head to look down the block, where I see my friends standing there, all laughing at me. They approach me, all the while laughing, and tell me I was in front of the window talking to myself for 20 minutes, completely oblivious to the fact that my friends were an entire block away.
TL;DR: | I'm sorry if this story is stupid or boring, I dont really know what im doing, im so faded right now |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Reform a thrill-seeking [30 M] to stop cheating on his [26 F] fiance
POST: My fiance is wonderful. We don't have the most passionate relationship, but we've been dating for 4+ years so I think some of that comes with the territory. I've cheated on her multiple times. Starting 6 months into it. We were long distance at the time, but that isn't really a good excuse.
I really love and care about her, but my personality is very much the thrill seeker and hers is very much the play it completely safe. I don't really care about any of the girls I've cheated on her with. For me it's just the excitement of something new, fun, unexplored. It's like how far can I push the boundaries? What kind of double life can I lead and how far can I take it?
I can't be the only one who feels this way, but I'm not sure what to do. I really don't think it has much of anything to do with my partner. Though I have had girlfriends in the past who I didn't cheat on, I was younger and we would do the "break up and hook up with some people then get back together" game on and off.
At some point I would like kids, family, white picket fence, etc. But I don't know how to balance that with my proclivity for thrill-seeking.
> *
TL;DR: | I get off on the excitement of keeping secrets and pushing boundaries, but want to stop cheating and have the things that come with a normal, healthy relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [29M] want to get married and have kids soonish but I'm not comfortable with doing this with my SO[26F] of 4.5 years. Thing is, I love her too much to leave. I don't know where to go from here..
POST: Live in relationship and together for 4.5 years. I honestly am ready to get married and start a family. I've got my career on track and want to take the next step in my life. I don't know why entirely, but I can no longer see those things with my SO.
The thing is, our lives are so intertwined and I love her so much that i don't think I'm capable of leaving her. I'm stuck in this incredibly frustrating feedback loop in my own head.
Have any of you encountered this problem? I really need to figure this out one way or another and I have no idea how.
Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | Want to get married and have kids soonish but I'm not comfortable with doing this with my SO[26F] of 4.5 years. I love her too much to leave. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 26M with my 26F of 6 years has told me that she hates me.
POST: Having felt some animosity for a few days, last night my girlfriend told me that she's decided she hates me. I'm not entirely sure how to take it.
I've known for a long time that I'm a difficult person to get along with. I'm not mean or evil, I just have a social anxiety that manifests itself in people thinking I'm rude (e.g avoiding eye contact, blaming myself for things outside of my control, etc). From this, I also tend to have a period about once a month where I become more reclusive. People don't usually see this stage, but she does.
Luckily I have a good/understanding group of friends, a supporting family and colleagues who can tolerate me - so I just accept that that's how I am and I haven't tried to change for some time (when I try I usually fail)
However, those elements of my personality have finally caught up with my girlfriend and she can't pretend they don't bother her. She has said she's decided she hates the person I am.
Despite this, we haven't broken up. I asked her if she wanted to and she said no. I would like to try to make it work, but is it worth prolonging things if she feels this strongly? Can I change how I act?
We've been living together for about a year. She's also out of my league in both looks and intelligence (she's vastly more intelligent than I am) and could frankly do much better.
TL;DR: | Been with my girlfriend for 6 years, lived together for one. She has decided she hates me. We're still together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Financial Advice for a College Student
POST: **A Little Background**
I am currently a Junior, studying ME. My financial is nothing too out of ordinary, I take loans from school and I have a paid internship whenever I have at least a week off from school. So I make some additional money for car insurance and the rest that I have to pay for school and health insurance.
**Advice**
Are there any things, financially speaking, that I should start looking into before graduating? I got a credit card a couple months ago to build a credit record buying gas and groceries. I remember in my finances class in high school they said to start a Roth IRA, or something similar, as soon as possible so that I accumulate money from interest by the time when I get older. I know nothing about these things so any advice would be helpful. I know some accounts don't let you take money out or have some rules that need to be followed like a minimum deposit monthly for the account to be open. So if someone knows the fine prints and the best ways to start off a stable life it would be very helpful.
TL;DR: | I guess What I'm asking is what should a college student think about financially before graduating to help him with entering the real life. Credit score, savings account, Roth IRA, 401K, transfer market, etc.... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How to get my good friend (23F) to leave a low-life (23M)
POST: My good friend broke, Jennifer up with her husband about a year ago, and quickly rebounded with a low-life, Paul, after the break-up.
Paul initially hadn't had a job, drank often, and used meth occasionally. He would get really angry drunk. I met the guy once, and he seemed nice in person, but Jennifer would tell me all these stories about how he would rip sign posts out of the ground and get in fights when he was drunk.
Well, Jennifer moved off to another state 800 miles away with this guy, while paying for his rent, food, etc. until he got a job. They currently share a rented bedroom. Finally he gets a job, then loses it a month later. His meth usage has increased, and he almost hit Jennifer last night. Jennifer will say, "If you use meth one more time, we're done!", but...
Jennifer keeps forgiving him for using meth, and he keeps doing it. He also verbally abuses her in his drunk and meth-fueled tyrades, and after he comes down wants to be all affectionate, which she thinks is sooo sweet. How can I get my friend to see that she is far better than this low-life, and leave him?
TL;DR: | Friend is in a relationship with a low-life verbally abusive druggie and always forgives him for his fuck-ups. How do I get her to leave him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have just watched the video "Windfall", a supposedly unbiased video on the pros and cons of wind energy (that leans VERY heavily on the cons). I was wondering what Reddit's reaction to this video/wind (renewable) energy as a whole was?
POST: The video follows the tale of Meredith in NY state and the problems they faced with wind turbines.
Whilst this video does raise a few valid concerns, I feel that it wastes the chance to be subjective (if this ever was the director's intention), and instead it turns out to be an 80 minute film predicated on trying to sling mud on wind energy firms as a whole instead of the viability of wind as a form of renewable energy.
People in this film portray wind energy in completely inaccurate and misinformed ways, and it really disgusted me that this is receiving quite a bit of attention (there's quite a large furore in my local area at the minute over the plans for wind turbines, which is why it was screened).
I'm no expert on wind energy, but anyone with even a basic ability to think logically can see the flaws in so many of the statements/claims made, with many people claiming to know more about certain areas of the science involved than independent scientists who are publishing their findings in peer-reviewed journals.
Sorry for the rant, but it really got to me, and I don't think I quite realised how much until I just started typing. Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else on Reddit has seen this film and what their thoughts on it were? I'm pro-renewable energy, but not just in any old fashion/location; I am genuinely interested in what other people thought after seeing this video, or what anyone else thinks about the various renewable energy forms that exist!
TL;DR: | Saw a supposedly "neutral" video explaining the pros and cons of wind energy, which was actually anti-wind power propaganda masquerading as information. Infuriated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (24M) and the GF(24F) of 1.5 years just decided to move in together. All of the sudden very nervous- need 3rd party opinions.
POST: There's no particular reason why I'm nervous- my gf is great, I love her to death, we have what I think is a very healthy relationship.
I don't know why I'm feeling so nervous (like a omg is this a bad idea?? kind of nervous). Maybe its because with both of my ex's (both 2.5 year relationships) we never moved in together and this is a first time.
Also I have 2 friends my age who have been dating for over 4 years and live down the street but still haven't moved in together. And another friend who has had a few 2+ year relationships and didn't move in with any of them.
I don't know if I'm just thinking this because its a 1st and its not common in my immediate social group, or this indicative of an underlying problem?
TL;DR: | FREAKIN OUT MAN. Me and the gf moving in together, don't really know what I'm looking for, general advice? Comforting words? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: My social anxiety is driving people away..
POST: I've had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. Of course, over the years, it has been getting better, but it still has the power to incapacitate me socially, or leave me feeling like I have some cripple. Luckily I had found someone who was able to love me despite this for four years. Now, he says my anxiety really bothers him; he hates that I can't be comfortable around his family even when they've opened their home and hearts to me.He hates that I can't be around his friends without giving out this awkward vibe, and he hates that he feels the need to take care of me whenever were out just to make sure I'm having fun...So he broke up with me, and I tried my best to move on. That's when I met Steve one drunken night, hooked up and slept with him. We texted back and forth for a few days, but after a couple of group dates I think I scared him off too.... Now I don't get any texts anymore and he speaks to me very formally when I do. The problem is that my anxiety led me to ignore him when out with friends. I wouldn't talk to him and I wouldn't even sit close. I guess I did that because I was afraid that if I say anything I may say something stupid or lame and he'd then realize that I'm not really THAT GREAT or awesome. Now we aren't talking anymore, obviously and its killing me... I'm writing to ask whether this can be salvaged and how because I've no idea what to do anymore. I should probably mention that he has a problem cumming in sex and I think my anxiety made him think I'm was being a cold asshole towards him because of it.
TL;DR: | My social anxiety caused me to ignore the person I was both intimate with and interested in. Now he has no interest in me. How can I bring the spark we shared once back? I really like this person... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23/F] with my boyfriend [27/M] of 2 years, the relationship is routine and predictable
POST: So our situation has pretty much kept us from being able to have a more exciting relationship, but I want to find ways to get around it. We both still live at home, me because I don't make a lot of money and him because his step-dad passed away so he wanted to be there for his mom. Our houses are 40 minutes apart. I work 45 minutes from my home, he works over an hour away from his. So we both do a lot of commuting. As a result, we take turns going over each other's house twice a week, then we split it up during the weekend which we spend pretty much entirely together. During the week all we really have time to do is have dinner and then watch some TV together, then it's time for someone to head home and get to bed for work.
We've never been able to just decide on a dime to go do something during the week, it's always something that has to be pre-planned. I hate knowing when he goes home or I go home that according to the "schedule" we won't be hanging out the next day.
We do have plans to move in together within the year, so I'm sure that will improve things immensely, but in the meantime it's quite bothersome for both of us and I just want to keep things interesting. I don't feel excited about our relationship because I always know what to expect and when it's going to happen.
TL;DR: | My relationship is very routine and predictable because of our current living/working situations, how can we keep things interesting and more exciting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28F] with my boyfriend [29 M] We rarely argue, but when we do, he is too stubborn to talk about it.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years. He's a wonderful man. Most of the time, we get along great. Our personalities, humor, etc. are very similar. We "get" each other and we're a great couple. However, when we have a small argument, he is the most FRUSTRATING human I have ever dealt with.
It usually starts with him getting defensive, saying things such as, "Are you serious?..." Demeaning my concern, in a way. I'll try to explain my issue, while being interrupted with his defensiveness. He'll then either hang up the phone, or walk out of the room. And then I will be ignored until one of us "caves" in.
I see this as an unhealthy fighting-style. And I want it to change. I've told him that it's immature (which makes him even more defensive) and extremely frustrating. I understand that I am not always right. And even when I apologize I get the same reaction.
He is currently working overseas which makes everything even more frustrating. Here's one example of a current argument:
He usually calls me or texts me as soon as he wakes up since we have limited talking-time. I noticed that he was logged into the
TL;DR: | My boyfriend completely shuts down for petty arguments. He will wait until I "cave in," get defensive about an issue, etc. Please read above. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17F] might have to break up with my boyfriend [19M] because of my ex [17M]
POST: About a year ago, I dated this guy on and off. I use "date" loosely, because he didn't want to tell anyone and basically just wanted sex, but I didn't give in, and it didn't last more than a month and a half. He was texting another girl (two actually) the entire time we 'dated' and eventually they got together. Whatever, I got over it.
My problem now is that I met this new guy, and he's amazing. We started messaging on Instagram and then started hanging out. This was about two months ago. I didn't really tell any of my friends because it wasn't serious, but then he asked me out and I said yes, because he makes me super happy and we always have a lot of fun.
Well, I waited about a week before telling my friends and... they "don't buy it" (friends words). It's not that they don't believe we are together, because I've shown them a picture of us together. They just don't believe I like him for him... because he has the same name as my ex.
When we first started messaging, I'll admit it was a little off-putting. But then I started seeing him for him and not for his name,and the negative feelings towards that particular name because of my ex just faded away. Now its my favorite name ever.
My friends keep telling me things like "you just need more time" (to get over my ex I guess?) "You need to be happy with yourself before you date someone" (I'm perfectly happy with who I am, and I'm happy with my new boyfriend).
I really don't know what to do because I care about him, but this relationship is just so new. I know my friends mean well, but its starting to piss me off and affect my relationship. This happened with another friend in 8th grade (which I get wasnt really a "relationship" but its the same premise) when my best friend kept saying how much she didn't like my boyfriend. It made it so difficult to be with him and eventually we broke up...
Any advice?
TL;DR: | My new boyfriend has the same name as my ex, and my friends think that's the only reason I want to be with him. How do I stay in this relationship when my friends are making it so ddifficult? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: HELP: Am I being scammed by renting an apartment allegedly on TripAdvisor?
POST: Boston, MA: I don't know where else to post this. I've been trying to find an apartment online and found a good place on apartments.com. When emailing the host of the apartment, he said he recently moved to Greece for work and rents the apartment on the TripAdvisor circuit. Because he is away right now, I haven't seen the apartment yet. He asked me for basic info about myself and said he would need to register me as a potential tenant on TripAdvisor. I asked him multiple times for him to send me the application and I would fill it out on my own and begin the process, but he said that he was the only one who could register me as a potential tenant.
We had been communicating via my gmail account and he said he needed an email with a different domain for it to work. So i sent him my work outlook address and received an email from [email protected]. When I googled this address I got mixed advice from people both saying it is a scam and that it is not a scam.
Right now, I have 24 hours to send the deposit and first month's rent via MoneyGram. They say that the deposit is fully refundable up to 3 days after i see the apartment. I clicked on the customer service chat option in the email i received from the TripAdvisor email and they said it's all verified, but i'm still uneasy about it.
Should I follow through with this? Disclaimer: My ex kicked me out and i am literally homeless right now, couch surfing. I dont want to depend on friends too much, because i dont want to impose on them.
TL;DR: | renting an apartment on tripadvisor and i dont know if i should trust it because everything has been via email, not tripadvisor.com |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] and my proto-boyfriend [28M] who I have had two dates with, are having trouble communicating by text.
POST: Okay, so I met a cool guy on okcupid and I had a nice first date with him where we had pasta and a nice second date which was... A bit different, but still really fun.
I met his girlfriend (open relationship, she was really awesome) and we were supposed to be having a tea party with a group of people, but no one else showed up. It sounds suspicious I know, but they appeared to be making serious efforts to get the other people over so if it was a scam it was a really good one.
We ended up all snuggled up on the couch watching a movie together after talking for a little bit. Then, probably the part of the date I'm most nervous about in hindsight was when I suggested we all take a walk and I get the sense I might have overloaded the poor introverted guy.
After all that we left on what I thought were good terms, though it was a bit awkward saying goodbye to his girlfriend, (partly because I actually thought she was cute and nice and wondered if this was the beginning of a triumvirate, but I didn't want to comment on that especially so early into meting them).
So... Yeah, I texted the guy the next day in the afternoon to ask if he wanted to set up another date. I still haven't heard back from him now two days later and I don't know if I've been dumped or what's going on, but I don't want to flood his inbox if he just wants some space.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | I had what I thought were promising dates, but now 2 days later the guy hasn't returned my text. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, Please help me with this TV setup. Should be simple.
POST: I will be buying [this tv] along with [this sound system] I also have a Xbox 360 and a HD Cable Box. Now what I'm asking for is what cables would I need to have to setup everything working perfectly. The Xbox Elite I have is connected at the moment with the HDMI cable that comes with it. I do not know the specs on it. The Cable box also has it's own HDMI cable and once again, I am not aware of the specs on it. What I need/want is to be able to hook everything up so that it works to it's full capacity. I want my Xbox 360 to work the best it can when I decide to test out it's 3D capacity. I would also like if my 360 had at least 5.1 surround sound. My old setup could only get the stereo function to work for my 360. I'm not so much worried about full sound for my cable box, stereo would be okay, but I would also like to get the full use out of my speakers. As for the Sound System itself, which HDMI cables would you recommend to carry the 240hz signal well? Also, would I need any Optic Cables? Feel free to list your opinions on how you would set this up and if I need anything else!
Your help is appreciated reddit!
TL;DR: | I need cables to hook everything up (TV, Speakers, Xbox, and Cable Box) but I don't know which ones. Suggestions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [17/m] My girlfriend [16/f] made me a little mad at prom last night. What should I do?
POST: We got to prom, and it's a prom where we have a sit down dinner first then dance. We had talked before about 'dancing' (although 'dancing' at prom is grinding) and neither of us wanted to. Well, a little into the prom, she decides she wants to dance, so she goes into the crowd to dance with some other girls.
Later, after coming back out, she goes back in, and with me standing right there, she starts grinding on a good friend of mine. He's uncomfortable with it and knows it's pissing me off so he calls me over, and I reluctantly start dancing with her just to keep her from dancing with him. I'm pretty sure she did that to get me to start dancing and because she didn't think it'd bother me considering we're friends and she's kinda friendzoned him anyways before I came into the picture.
Afterwards, once she realized that it had pissed me off, she apologized and explained that she didn't think it'd bother me, but now, the morning after, I'm still mad and I can't help it. Any advice on what to do or how to calm down would be much appreciated. We've been dating for over 6 months, and I don't want to strain the relationship by bringing it back up if she thinks it's settled.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend of 6 months grinded on a friend of mine at prom last night, and even though she's apologized, I'm still mad and want to know how to calm down without really bringing the situation back up with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my [20F] three years, not sure what to do
POST: I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years now. We started in senior year of high school and now are juniors in the same college (she transferred to my college after a bit for her own personal reasons, it's not an issue in our relationship)
We're the first people we've each been in a relationship with. First kiss, lost our virginity to each other.
We're both going abroad next semester. Spain and Germany respectively.
I'm having trouble. Because it was my first relationship I'm often thinking about other people. Not specific people but types of people. For example I am in an activist group and my girlfriend doesn't care much about activist issues. So I imagine being with someone who cares about that. Or someone who is funny in the same way. Or someone who has different physical traits I find attractive. It's never that I wish I could be with someone else I met, but rather that I fantasize about being with the sort of person other people are, if that makes sense. (like a redhead who cares about activist issues, ie someone my SO isn't)
But through all that I'm never happier than when I'm in relaxing in bed with her. Not doing anything sexual really, just like talking and in bed together. She makes me so happy it's hard to explain.
I still have those thoughts of trying new things and how I wonder what it's like to be with people who are different than her. It's consuming. There are constant thoughts.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | In a long term relationship, with the first person I am in a relationship with. Fantasize about relationships with non specific persons with different attributes but am very very happy when I'm with my SO. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [18 M] not sure how to approach the situation that has been developing over the past two-three months with my [20 F] friend
POST: I've been hanging out with a girl who went to school with me. She graduated, but we still see each other often (her company is affiliated with my school) I told her I really liked her and she said that she liked me as well and would want to date. She also, however, said that it would be awkward because my sister and her are really close and she's friends with an ex.
I decided that it would be a good idea to keep spending 1-on-1 time with her. That may not have been the best idea, but it's too late to change it now.
Fast forward one month and we are seeing each other a lot. I just got back from a two-week trip and we were texting a lot. I think we get along really well. I invited her to go see a concert on Valentine's Day and she said that she would like to come. I'm not sure if she's just being a nice person or what.
Does anyone have any advice on how to proceed? I'm pretty new at this dating thing, only had one other girlfriend and that didn't go so well.
TL;DR: | Really like a girl, I may be deep in the "friend zone" or I may not- I'm pretty confused and looking for some help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17/M] Don't think my girlfriend [17/F] is over her EX.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for four months. I don't think she's over him.
They broke up around February 2014.
I know he was a manipulative asshole that caused her severe emotional problems (she had to go to therapy). A lot of things between them happened, but they only dated for four months. I know she still has their old texts.
But she says she hates him a lot, for what he put her through. And I can totally see that.
It just seems like she's not over him. She said she still has a note he wrote her (at her dads), but she said she keeps a bunch of notes from a lot of people (I know that's true).
I just need advice on what to do. Thanks!
(I hope the formatting is okay, first time posting here)
TL;DR: | It appears girlfriend who experienced a lot of emotional problems isn't over her ex. I already asked her about it, what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22F] boyfriend [25M] of a year hasn't returned oral sex for more than 6 months, despite receiving plenty from me. What should I do?
POST: Since the beginning of our relationship, I've given my boyfriend at least a blowjob a week, sometimes more. In the beginning, he would go down on me on occasion, but not very often. It's probably happened half a dozen times in the year we've been together.
I've brought it up a couple of times before, but not in a really serious way. More of a "so when is it my turn?" kind of thing. He just brushes me off and says he'll do it later, and then never does.
About a month ago, I told him I was done giving blowjobs until he returned the favour. He brushed me off, and we haven't really talked about it since. I realize that this wasn't the best/most mature way of dealing with the issue, but I didn't really know what else to do. I'm not very good at communicating my needs, and I know it's something I need to work on.
I guess what I'm asking is, **how do I communicate to him that this is important to me?**
Our sex life is okay otherwise, we have sex about once a week, and I orgasm 9 out of 10 times. The only other issue would be that on the rare occasion I don't finish, he doesn't really think it matters. He figures I can just finish by myself, and it's not a big deal. It does matter to me, and he doesn't take that seriously.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend is somewhat sexually selfish, and I need to communicate to him that it isn't okay, but I'm not sure how. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Need Advice About My Roommate
POST: Okay, so here's the situation. My best friend and I live in an apartment with our other friend we've known since high school. We generally got along with him, so when the opportunity came up for the three of us to get a place together a year and a half ago, we took it.
But for the past several months, he's completely changed. He's turned into a complete dick to us and others in our social circle. We know he's been having a few things going on in his life (nothing major, but he hasn't had a girlfriend in a while, that sort of thing). We've tried to help him out, be his friend. We've even set him up with a few single girls we know and he systematically drove them all away.
Point is, our lease is up in a couple of months, and he's started bringing up the idea of renewing, which is something we absolutely don't want to do. Our own girlfriends and siblings don't want to come to our place because they can't stand being around him.
The problem is we don't know how to tell him that without causing a huge fight or losing him as a friend. He's a sensitive guy, so he's bound to fly off the handle when we tell him this.
If we tell him now, he's gonna make us miserable for the next few months until the lease ends. But if we wait, this is going to drag on. Any advice?
TL;DR: | my friend and I have a third roommate who is a friend but has become a huge dick and we don't want to renew our lease with him. How do we break this to him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16 M] and my gf [16 F] are starting a relationship. Looking for advice on how best to proceed.
POST: Since I'm supposed to include the duration, I've had feelings for her for about a year, we decided 2 months ago to try being together.
We've recently decided to begin a relationship (as best we can at 16) after a very long "figuring things out" period. I'm a little more experienced with all this than she is. This is actually her first real shot at being with someone. I know that it takes time to develop the skills that it takes make a relationship healthy and happy, and she's learning all these things, like, now.
She's progressing smoothly, but at what feels like to me a pretty slow pace. Things like showing affection, sharing/talking about feelings, and other general couple stuff are hard for her to do. Again I'd like to stress that she is getting better. Please try to refrain telling me that I need to go find someone who's "ready for me." Things are improving, and I have no problem waiting while she gets comfortable with all this.
I'm mainly wondering two things. How best to support her as she goes through this process, and how to deal with all the waiting.
I'd like to add that I don't think talking to her about the pace of change is the best idea. Whenever I've tried, even when phrasing it in the most non-threatening, supportive way I can, she begins to feel pressured. She reacts very negatively when she's feeling pressure. What can I do to help her through this process of change?
Also, I'm not upset with the speed of it, but waiting for someone while you've got most of it all figured out isn't my favorite thing to do either. Any tips on how I could feel better about waiting? Waiting is frustrating.
TL;DR: | Gf is new to relationships. How can I support her while she acclimates to it all, and how can I better deal with waiting while the relationship takes form? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: [Cross-post from Relationships] I've just become a legal adult, but my girlfriend is still a minor and I don't know what is appropriate any more.
POST: I just turned 18 in February, and my girlfriend is currently 16 with her birthday in October. We've been going out for ~1 year now ( a little over), and we've had sex, and said things of a sexual nature to one another before, however, now that I am 18 and she is still 16, I find that saying such things and even thinking about sex with her makes me very...conflicted/confused. I used to say things of the nature of "I love your hair, its so sexy today...it's turning me on" etc. but now, I find that I don't really know if it is appropriate to say these things, opting for "your hair is cute" or not mentioning it at all. Also, I feel that I should mention that I'm in the U.S. where there are crazy laws on this type of stuff too, so I don't want to do anything that could get me in trouble.
TL;DR: | I turned 18 in Feb, girlfriend is still 16, when I was 17 and she was 16, everything was normal, but now it feels strange. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (15m) My mom is making us miserable (part 2)
POST: I am 15 years old. (For bots)
So a month ago I posted [this] to this subreddit, and I decided to come back for some more help. Please read the post, it is relevant.
So, I'll start off by telling you that things haven't gotten any better. In fact, they pretty much get worse everyday. It'll just be us three at dinner, and my mom just glaring at everyone with menacing looks, and talking about dissatisfaction with whatever happens to have her down that day. Really uncomfortable when I'm just trying to eat.
Second, I'd like to make it known that my dad and I are very close, an talking about mom almost every day. We each care for each other, and spend a lot of time together. However, lately when my mom troubles have been building up and I go to talk to him to relieve myself of my frustration, he just agrees and spends the time talking about what she's been doing to him. (Eg. "Hey dad, mom did x to me and I'm real upset" "yeah, she just came down and yelled at me for x" etc) So I go to talk to him about my misery, and effectively solve nothing, and end up swallowing it anyway. He's pretty much the only person I actually have a chance of connecting with (my friends don't understand), and now I can't even talk to him about my sadness without us talking about him. So I'm torn between being there for him and listening to him, and just laying all of my shit onto him. All i want is a happy childhood, and it's slowly dawning upon me that the people that are supposed to give that to me aren't very good at it. And fuck, it sounds self centered, but what I want is attention, someone to talk to. Maybe I need a psychologist. I doubt my mom would be up for that though.
So, in
TL;DR: | form, can't talk to my dad about personal misery, end up swallowing it which I'm pretty sure is unhealthy. What the fuck do I do to survive this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: GF (30f) wants to leave me (28m) for NYC in Apr 2015 but is still buying me clothes and starting projects with me
POST: My gf has told me that she wants to leave Shanghai and go to NYC to travel for 6 months and then keep traveling for another 1.5 years. She has also said that she would never teach me how to dress (this is a problem of mine that I have never really addressed) because she would not want the next girl I encounter to have an improved me. Now, she is starting to teach me how to dress, we went to the tailor together and just today she bought me a sweater too. But, when I say its a bit self-contradicting that she will be leaving me in a few months but she is investing in me she comes up with reasons why she needs to go to new york herself. And I say that I can go to NYC with her and she comes up with different reasons why I don't need to go.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is investing time and money in me while saying she wants to leave me and travel alone in April 2015 for two years. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My sister is marrying a guy in the Dominican. She has only known him for 6 months. Am I wrong to think something is up?
POST: Like the title says, she met this guy on a trip to the Dominican Republic about 6 months ago. She is not down there on a resort and is living with the locals. She meets this guy, let's call him Sam.
So Sam decides to ask my sister to marry him; after a few short weeks. This to me is a red flag, but I try not to think negatively about the situation. After my sister runs out of money she finally decides to come back to Canada to work.
During the time she was down in the DR, she had run out of money half way through her trip and started asking friends and family to send her money. I never agreed with this, mainly because I believe that she should have to work for her money!
My mom had sent her a few thousand dollars over a short period of time, so she could party and eat!
She was cut off from this and was forced to come back to Canada.
She comes back to Canada to make money while Sam chills out in the DR.
A few weeks ago she went back to him with about $1000 to supposedly last her until December.
She had planned on having a small wedding in December there, and a few family members were planning on attending.
Tonight I get an email from my mom soliciting $400 for her to get married this week! The reason is that she needs to get married to work in the country, etc.
This tells me she is out of money! It also seems rushed! I'm not going to send money.
I'm concerned for my sister and I'm not sure what to do, I know that she is I'm love with this guy. But this just doesn't seem right to me! Am I wrong?
TL;DR: | Sister is soliciting money to get married to a guy she has known for less than 6 months in the Dominican Reblic. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Question About Purchasing a New ($37k) Car
POST: Hello, First post in r/personalfinance for me.
I'm about to buy a new car. I take home about 4k per month (sometimes it's as high as 4500, sometimes as low as 3600) and I pay $1750 in rent. I have ~400 in student loans I pay monthly. Monthly fixed expenses total around 200 per month. If you want the full breakdown of my budget, I can make a Google Doc or something.
Anyway, my question is how much I should put down on a $37k car. I have about $15k free and available, but I've read that the max that should be put down is 20%? I'll probably be looking at a 60 month payment plan, as that would put me around 4%, and 400 per month with 100 per month insurance.
TL;DR: | going to buy a car for around 37k and want to know how much to put down. I have 15k available. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my GF [19 F] of 2 years (long distance), is disgusted with sex and is making me hate it too.
POST: Ill start off by saying I love her and have known her since she was 15. She has BPD, PTSD, Bi-Polarism and maybe mania. She is prescribed abilify and prozac as well a habitual user of marijuana.
We both have our issues and are in a long distance relationship, shes going to college on the east coast. We are in contact through Skype and texting, and I try to visit 2-4 times a year. She is intimate when I visit, but she constantly says how physical contact bothers her and is disgusted by intimacy. She doesnt like cuddling or things of that nature. She still does when I visit though.
She says she does cuddle or be intimate to make me happy.
I am a cuddle bug, I want to embrace her, I want to just lay there with our face cheeks touching. I also have a high sex drive. I masturbate frequently nearly every day, and on days Im glum, I will multiple times throughout the day.
It could be that Im getting older, but I get discouraged from even masturbating because Im finding it gross. Im worried her constantly saying its perverted or disgusting is actually impacting me psychologically.
I love her I want our future together. But Im worried about the impact Ill have with our intimacy. I dont want her to think I expect sex, but older threads talk about how negatively some women take a man preferring masturbating over sex.
Her issues make her fickle and I have to ask the same question different times to get an understanding of how she truly feels. She says she wouldnt be upset if she caught me masturbating but women see men pretty simplistically when it comes to sex. If a man isnt erect when she is trying to be intimate, it sets off alarms.
Im not sure what my question really is anymore. Is it wrong to prefer masturbating and not have sex when I visit her? Should I still initiate to show I still find her attractive and that Im still true to our relationship? Am I damaging her recovery by having sex and making her hate herself afterwards?
TL;DR: | Long distance GF with mental issues is disgusted with sex but still is intimate when I visit. I have a high sex drive and Im starting to think I should just masturbate so I dont make her hate herself after we are intimate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Critique my 13-miler I did over the weekend? Am I on pace for a 3:30 full in Dec? Link in text.
POST: I'm somewhat following [Hal Higdon's Novice I plan] but I'm trying to add more miles all around.
The dips in pace near the beginning and very end are due to a trail having very narrow, tight turns so I have to slow down. The drop in pace after my 1/2-way point was because I saw a bobcat. The other two breaks were to fill up my water bottle.
I would consider this a pretty comfortable pace. How's my heart rate? Should I be doing my long runs at a lower HR (I'm a healthy, 25 year old male, 150 lbs)? Clearly, heading back home it was elevated. I attribute that to a slight increase in elevation but mainly due to facing the wind in that direction.
My fastest 1/2 marathon was 1:41:XX which was last Dec. I'm wondering if Runnit thinks I'm on pace for a 3:30 full in Dec or if I should add more mileage/speed/hill work.
TL;DR: | 13 miler, comfortable, avg pace 8:39, on track for a 3:30 full in Dec? If not, add more miles? Speed/hill work? Both? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21/M] with my friend [21/F] of 12 years, thinking about asking her out even though I'm 2000 miles away.
POST: This whole thing is going to sound really strange, but I just want to know if I have a shot with her even in this difficult situation. I should mention that I have not seen her face to face in about 10 years, and I also moved halfway across the country. We have kept in contact these past few years through Facebook.
Anyway, It started two years before high school, and we became really good friends. Those two years were probably the best years of my life... Well, I ended up moving across the country and did not make contact with her until she added me on Facebook.
I am pretty sure she is still into me because she told me stuff like "If ever you come over here, we'll have to have a beer" and she's been poking me on FB, and is always the first one to like and comment on a status of mine... I remember on the last day we saw each other, she showed me around the girls locker room (surprisingly messy), and we sat in there with other friends and ate pasta (Yes, I know how it sounds). Later that day, when she had to leave, she gave me a kiss on the cheek... just thought I would add that in there.
Anyway, I think she is like me in that we both have never really dated anyone or had any romantic-like relationships since before high school. I know it sounds weird, but do any of you think I should go for it or let it go? I know she has been wanting this special candle... do you think I should get it for her and see where it goes????
This would be different if she did not share the same feeling. If I had not moved, we would be in a relationship right now; I'm sure of it.
TL;DR: | Would it be okay to start a relationship with a girl who I have not physically seen in 10 years and is 2000 miles away knowing that she is really into me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25M] found pic of acquaintance [22ishF] on an NSFW sub. How to proceed?
POST: Hi all,
Thanks in advance for reading. I was not really sure where to pose this question - any advice welcome. (Only became a redditer recently, so apologies for poor formatting or breaking any rules of reddiquette.)
I am a 25-year old male, and graduated from undergrad a few years ago. I was on a NSFW subreddit recently and found a pic of someone I know from college. She's not really a friend per se, and is a few years younger, but we run in the same circles and have been friendly whenever we've chatted (she's a super sweet girl).
The photo is not nude, but is of her in a bikini, and I think was taken from her facebook. Based off of the user's history, I do not believe it was her posting her own picture.
Is this something I should bring up to her? Is there a way to do it without embarrassing her? What if she is aware of the post, and is more embarrassed by the fact that someone she knows saw it than by the fact that it was put up in the first place? What's the best way to have this conversation? And if the picture was taken from her facebook, it's already public - to what extent would this bother her? Should I try and get it taken down before I even tell her?
Bonus topic - obviously, my first priority is to save her any embarrassment. However, if there's a way to broach the subject that doesn't start with "So I was looking at some dirty pictures on the internet and...", that would be preferable. I know, I know, it's not unusual in this day and age, but still.
Oh, side note - we're both of Indian descent, and it was a subreddit dedicated to Indian girls. I don't think that actually makes any difference to anything. She's definitely attractive. Again, probably irrelevant.
TL;DR: | Found a picture of an acquaintance on a NSFW subreddit. The picture was taken from her Facebook. Should I inform her? If so, how? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have had it with my boyfriend's cat, Reddit!
POST: I've been awake since 3 am because of my boyfriends stupid cat. He moved in two weeks ago, to join my household of two dogs, two permanent cats and two kittens looking for homes.
He really is a sweet cat, he acts more like a dog. However, he terrorizes my Siamese to the point where she will not eat or go to the bathroom. A vet suggested we put him in his own room so they can smell each other and we locked his cat in his game room so they can still spend lots of time with each other. Well, at night this cat howls and howls and I can't sleep because of it. We've tried locking my kitty in my craft room, and she does fine; we did this so his cat can have free run of the house. He will still howl outside our bedroom door. Last night, we tried letting him in our bedroom to sleep. He howled and jumped all over my head. He did this when I would visit my boyfriend in his apartment, too.
He told me to wake him up when his cat wakes me up. So I do, and he locks him in the laundry room or the garage where he's quiet for about a half hour and then howls LOUDER. My boyfriend can sleep through this. He sleeps through his cat jumping on his head, screaming in his face, all of it. I am a much lighter sleeper. I have come to absolutely hate this cat. I threatened to murder him and make it look like an accident when I was telling him to shut up this morning. I am ready to toss his furry ass outside and hope coyotes eat him. I'd like a better idea, re-homing being the last possible option.
TL;DR: | boyfriend moved in. His cat terrorizes mine so they cannot be together at all. His cat also howls and screams all night long no matter where he is put so that I cannot sleep past 3 am. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32 F] with my boyfriend [34 M] of 3 (LDR), am I overreacting for being teased for my being ambitious?
POST: Ever since we started going out, it was clear that he's not ambitious and I am. We love each other very much and things are very serious.
Problem is, I am a hard-worker, and sort of nerdy, and recently, I started to upgrade my skills. But little things that he does really annoy me very much to the point I sometimes cry after his calls and try hard to be back to the happy productive mood!
Like it will be super ridiculous to him if I tell him not to call me in the middle of studying. Or if he calls and I'm not 100% present because I'm thinking of some problem I was working on, he starts teasing, etc. (At that moment, teasing is the last thing I can tolerate when my head is still on that problem, and when I mention it, I only get teased even more, then it leads to a fight, and then it leads to realizing I don't have a sense of humor).
So I first want to know, am I really that terrible? And if I am, how to change it? Some things are important to me and I can't just "take it easy"! I really wish I could, and I was a care-free person!
And second, if I'm really not that terrible, how to make him understand that I don't like him constantly teasing me (and not ending up being blamed for not having a sense of humor)
TL;DR: | I'm nerdy and ambitious, my boyfriend doesn't stop teasing me for that. Am I to blame for not having a sense of humor, or is he not taking my work seriously? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (F21) and bf (M20) have recently broken up but want to talk things over and maybe try again
POST: My boyfriend (M20) of more than 1 year recently broke up with me(F21)due to reoccurring issues, like me being short in text or being moody. Examples are me saying hurtful things: I once told him that I wasn't in love with him, just the idea of him and a relationship that was forever.
Which is clearly not something you should say to your SO and not something I meant and it is something that I now realize was having a negative impact on our relationship.
We would also argue a lot in text-I'd become short and just reply with one or two words and then get upset when he didn't want to continue the convo. This would happen around once a week and I'm not really sure why. I did feel pressure on the relationship because my whole family hates him but there really was no reason to treat him like I did.
I would sometimes say that I wanted to break up (usually after a family event) but we always talked things over and agreed that we wanted to stay together. However, He didn't talk to me and tell me that these issues were so bad that he wanted to end the relationship until AFTER he decided to break up. Which sucks because I feel like we could have talked things over but I do believe that the break up made me realize how terrible I was treating him.
The point is that I'd really like to work things out. I feel like I have a lot to blame for him wanting to end things. My whole family dislikes him though and seems to think he's the jerk for ending things, so they don't think I should, but I honestly can't blame him.
We're meeting tomorrow to discuss things but I don't want it to seem like I'm begging him to take me back. I just really need advice and I hope that this makes sense!
TL;DR: | my bf of more than one year ended things because our arguments and such got to be too much but I love him and want to fix things. Any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: My girlfriend (21) of 2 years left me (20) in July and I still have feelings for her - can we be friends?
POST: Basically, we had been together for two years when more or less out of the blue she left me, in fact I was on a plane back from holiday when she did by text. She hasn't really explained why and then refused to see me between then and now.
Since then I have tried not to think about it and just kept myself busy working 6 days a week, but uni is restarting now and we are on the same course. She says she still has feelings for me but doesn't want a relationship other than to be friends. This for me is very difficult as I still want to be with her as more than that and it really brings me down.
I also feel slightly led on as she has been saying that she doesn't want to be together, but if we work as friends who knows what will happen in the future. I am concerned that these issues may affect my studying this year and this is especially important as it is the final year of my degree. Do I try to be friends even though it is making me miserable or do I cut her out of my life completely, as she will not leave me alone.
TL;DR: | girlfriend left me, didn't speak for 3 months, I'm not over her, wants friendship, what to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO (20M) recently broke up with me (19F) after a five year relationship because he lost feelings. How to cope?
POST: My SO and I met when we were 14 and have been dating for five years. We are in a LDR since we started college. We made it two years as a LDR. This past semester while at college he first stated he wanted a break to find himself and better himself as a person. Then, two weeks before I return home; he says that he has just lost feelings and wants to end it. Should I just give up on him?
I met him in person when I came home and he still said he just felt nothing romantically for me. I just don't understand how someone could just loose feelings. We were fine in December. Should I really just give up on him? I feel like it was stress and other factors, which I'm not sure of. How do I get over him?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of five years broke up with me out of the blue because he claims he lost feelings. Should I give up on him? How do I get over him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [17 F] mother-in-law [37 F] keeps accusing me of abusing my 9 month old daughter.
POST: I never, *ever,* hit my baby (9 months old) and even thinking about people hitting their babies makes me sick...
Yet, my boyfriend's mother keeps accusing me of hitting my daughter. I yell sometimes when I get frustrated, and that's why she thinks I hit.
The other day, my daughter was trying to stand up and slipped, hitting her nose on our nightstand. She started WAILING right as my boyfriend's mother was walking out the front door to go to work. And just as my boyfriend pulled into the parking lot.
So his mother tells him she thinks I was hitting the baby.
He comes in all mad asking why the baby was crying so hard. It really, *really,* pisses me off that she thinks I abuse my daughter.
Even though she used to abuse her sons. My boyfriend has told me about how she used to abuse them.
She used to beat him, sometimes with objects until he was 12 and big enough to defend himself. He got taken away when he was 3 years old because of this.
He recently told me that when they were bad she would threaten to put their hands on the stove and burn them... One time she actually tried to.
She used to only bring food for herself and my boyfriend's younger brother, while he would starve and his brother would sneak the scraps to him.
That's all I can think of right now, but I am just so angry that she would accuse me and act concerned that I hit my daughter when she used to do much worse.
She has never seen me hit my daughter (because I DON'T), and my daughter has never had a single bruise on her body.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend's formerly abusive mother continually accuses me of hitting my 9 month old, I would never lay a hand on her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My boyfriend asked me to do something that is not only illegal, but could make me unemployable...and he knows this. Help?
POST: Throw away account, for obvious reasons.
Background: I am a fully licensed physician and have DEA schedule II-IV prescribing ability (these drugs include amphetamines and potent opiates). My state medical board takes prescribing these drugs VERY seriously, and shows little hesitation is yanking a physician's license for misuse.
Story: My boyfriend of 2 years is a great guy in many ways, but is high-strung and gets anxious easily. He's transitioning to a new, rewarding but stressful career and his anxiety level has gone through the roof and almost seems to be coming mentally unhinged. I've done my best to keep him grounded, but believe (and have told him) he needs professional help. Out of nowhere he asks me to give him a prescription for potent anti-anxiety meds that are strictly regulated. I said no way, and he didn't bring it up again. I am now uneasy and on edge, and don't know how to discuss this with him.
Random thoughts:
1. I'm now slightly worried about having him over, as I keep prescription pads at home.
2. Physicians can lose their license and become unemployable for prescribing scheduled drugs inappropriately. He knows this and yet asked anyways.
3. I could chalk this up to desperation in trying to get anxiety under control, as he hasn't asked me to do anything like this in the past.
I want to let him know that it was not ok to ask me to do that, but he's not in the best state right now and I don't want to kick him while he is down either. I'm also not sure if this should be a deal breaker for our relationship. Any suggestions on how to navigate this?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend asks me to prescribe him meds; doing so could cost me my license. I said no, what now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by letting a neighbour see me naked
POST: Happened 15 minutes ago... Keep this in mind...
I am home alone for a few days. I went to take a shower, so I got naked. Decided to brush my teeth so I dont forget afterwards, which I oftenlly do.
While brushing, I get a phonecall from my parents to go check something in the kitchen. Spit the teeth brushing goo out of my mouth and off to the kitchen!
It's dark, so I turn on the lights. My neighbour is a nice and fit guy who unfortunentaly smokes. His wife and kids on the other hand, don't. So he is forced to smoke on the balcony. Poor chap.
The problem is that the balcony is maybe 15-20 meters away, also a few meters higher than my story.
The other problem is that the drapes are only half height. They let sun in and you can see over them.
So you can se where this is going. But wait!
I was arguing a bit with my dad on the phone. I stopped in the middle of the kitchen, under the lights. At the same time I got the "itchy gentlemans sausage sindrome" so I started scratching. I was mainly concentrating on the conversation, while scratching my balls. This went on for a minute or two.
Suddenly I remember than I am naked and I see the courtains. Immideatly I panicked and thought someone could see me, but nah, who would?
As I went out of the kitchen I see a sillhouete of a man putting out a ciggarete on the mentioned balcony.
Again I thing to myself "naaah, he didn't see me".
I go back to the shower, finish washing my teeth and my phone lights up. I have received a Facebook add and a poke. A poke!!!! Not even 2 minutes after he has seen me naked.
So now I suspect the neighbour is thinking that I was jerking of to him and that I want to have sex with him. Also, he was having some issues with his wife... Maybe it has something to do with poking teenage boys on Facebook...
TL;DR: | Was scratching my balls near a window. Male neighbour saw me, added and poked me on Facebook. I suspect he likes me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can my actions reflect that of someone who wants a relationship?
POST: Hi Guys. I'm a 22F. I'm pretty darn happy with every aspect of my life except my romantic life. I'm the kinda girl who has absolutely no problem getting dates, but I have an extremely tough time making them stay. I can assure you that I'm not boring. The problem I have is with communication, and reflecting to the men I date that I actually want a relationship, and not something casual.
All this only hit me recently, it was a really big epiphany. Anywho, I have never been in a relationship, and always end up finding these amazing guys, who are totally into me the first few months, and then by the midst of it... it turns into something super casual.
So, how can my actions reflect (to the next person I date who I really like and would like to pursue a relationship with) that I'm looking for a relationship? I know I could be straight up verbal about it, but let's face it actions speak louder than words.
TL;DR: | So, how can my actions reflect (to the next person I date who I really like and would like to pursue a relationship with) that I'm looking for a relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25F] don't want to allow my husband [31M] to kiss beautiful women.
POST: We've been together for 3 years. Our relationship is kinda open. We let each other flirt, have fun and kiss other people. But recently we started to discuss it in details, and I told him that I don't want him to do it with women who are for my personal taste too beautiful (our preferences can be different) I even feel uncomfortable being around them. He was really frustrated by that and said that it is not fair. He suggests, I should work on my insecurities, because it will make me more free and happy. I don't think it can happen in foreseeable future, and for now it can only destroy my self-confidence. If I let him do it, I will most likely feel unsexy for him. I am totally ready to also have some restrictions, just to make it equal. But I don't want to risk our sex life and emotional connection. Whos arguments are stronger and who should give in?
TL;DR: | My husband allows me to kiss anyone, I don't allow him to kiss someone who seems to me more attractive than myself. He is not satisfied with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Guy (23M) has asked for my (23F) number on social media. We both have SOs. Need help with how to proceed
POST: This guy and I have followed one another on social media since the MySpace days (crazy yes I know).
We have met in person once maybe 8 years ago.
Skipping all of the details, he has a long term girlfriend who looks like a supermodel. Her name is even in his Instagram bio so it's not exactly a secret that they're still together. I have a long term boyfriend. My latest photos have been with him, it's obvious we are together.
He just recently messaged me on Instagram and invited me to go to a concert with him in the city that he lives in (I am originally from there and moving back for grad school in a few weeks). Basically I said I won't be there but hopefully he enjoys it.
He then asked if I want to exchange numbers. I don't really know what to say so that I'm not rude but I also would not want to exchange numbers in the attempt to not be an asshole and his gf snoops into his messages and gets angry with me, tells my boyfriend, etc. I don't want to do anything inappropriate but also don't want to pull the "yeah ask your girlfriend if it's okay" move and be rude.
What's the best way to approach it?
Thanks!
TL;DR: | long time social media friend who has long term girlfriend randomly asked for my number. I have a long term boyfriend. Need to know how to proceed without stepping on toes or being rude. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Haven't heard from my BF [26] in a full day, can't tell if I'm overreacting.
POST: Title says it all really, he was texting me all weekend up until today and now radio silence after I replied to his text. I feel like a 14 year old freaking out but if you're in a relationship with someone would it not be normal to hear from them at least once throughout the day.
He's said before if someone doesn't have ten seconds to reply to a text in a full day they can't really care that much so that's worrying me. I'm not expecting a full conversation or anything so I don't think I'm being needy. This issue has never come up before but I really don't want this to happen frequently, just wondering would I be overreacting to talk to him about it. I really don't want him to feel like I'm telling him to do but I'm just not into a relationship where we don't talk for days at a time.
TL;DR: | worried because I haven't heard from my boyfriend all day, can't tell if I'm overreacting or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Tall/Overweight people and roller coasters. Do they mix well? Reddit's Thoughts, what are they?
POST: I was thinking about a past experience with Space Mountain that happened about a year ago. It's not really that much of a big deal but I was curious what is everyone else's thought on roller coasters if they're too tall/short/overweight.
I'm not really that big on Roller Coasters but about a year ago I got on Space Mountain for the second time. I took the thought about being tall into consideration so I ducked the entire time but the second run I actually thought about lifting my hands.
After about a minute of turns I felt four of my fingers hit against a pole which I assumed was a support for that piece of rail. After that I had a bit of pain but nothing serious so I just ducked the rest of the ride.
The other thing that bothered me was that when I sat in those seats my legs were pretty scrunched together so when I pulled the bar toward me it went only half way. I had to keep pushing it forward until I could feel a resistance. That's when I knew it would be locked.
TL;DR: | I'm tall, Went on Space Mountain in Disneyland and hit fingers against a support beam. Am curious if anyone else has had a problem with being too tall/overweight/short |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My friend called me crying and professed her love for me . . . what do i do?
POST: I liked this girl for i long time, when i finally got up the nerve to tell her she basically said "yeah, i know . . ." and that was the end of that. This was after several outings of what i considered to be dates with me paying for everything, but she didn't feel the same way. So anyways after that we were just friends and we have been just friends. Fast forward over a year to now . . . I recently moved from Washington (state) to California. Me and this friend still keep in touch through text, facebook and calling and i would say we were good friends. Out of NOWHERE she calls me crying trying to talk and eventually says she'll call me back so we hang up. She calls back and tells me she was planning on coming down to visit but now she can't so she tells me over the phone that she loves me. I am silent for awhile not knowing what to say until i just say "i don't know what to say". She thankfully told me i didn't have to say anything so i didn't. Eventually she said she was gonna go after apologizing for how inconvenient it must be and how it's probably too late and we hung up. I have no clue how to react to this. I'm not interested in a relationship with her anymore and the fact that she said "love" instead of like scares me. What should i say/do when she calls or texts or messages me? I need help.
TL;DR: | A girl i used to like and was rejected by recently called me crying and said she LOVEs me, plz help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Should i continue at a job i hate or move on?
POST: So i'm 18 and i'm going to start tertiary education at 2 days a week. I can't decide whether to stay at my factory job (pays $25 an hour which is really good, i get about $200 a week) or move to another job. Keep in mind i **hate** working in the factory, i almost feel depressed before i have to go. I also have almost no need for money right now but i'm gonna get a car soon i will need to pay for insurance/registration etc. I'm think about working as a pizza delivery driver which would require more hours for less pay.
TL;DR: | Should i keep a well paying job which i hate, or move to a job with more hours and less pay which i am more likely to enjoy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by challenging a female karate black belt to a fight
POST: This happened last night, whilst I was with a couple friends at one of THEIR friends' party.
I didn't really know anyone there but neither did my guys, so it was cool in that respect, we hung out for a bit and ran into a lot of new people who we got to know during the fight. I got talking to a really, REALLY good looking girl who was about my height and pretty fiesty (how I like girls anyway), and as we got talking more we headed outside for some fresh air. I can't remember how it happened exactly, but I think I recall jokily saying something along the lines of "Better not pick a fight with you since you do karate! But it's not like you could take me on anyways."
Well fuck, I didn't know she'd take me seriously did I? I don't know if all people who practice karate are this fucked but...
next thing I know, this girl is swinging arms, legs, elbows in my directions from all sides, knocks me unconscious for about 1 minute after I see this fucking roundhouse kick flying towards my head.
Next thing I know, I'm lying on the ground, my mouth is filled with blood, my right leg is bent weirdly and I don't seem to be able to see out of my left eye.
A trip in an ambulance later I'm lying at home with a bad knee (which had been dislocated), a heavily blackened eye, two missing teeth, a cracked rib and a sinking feeling that I should have stayed at home vigorously masturbating to hentai as I had previously planned instead of trying to go out with friends and be sociable for once.
And I will never know what I even fucking did wrong other than crack an awkward joke.
TL;DR: | Accidentally challenged a (psycho) female black belt to a fight whilst trying to make conversation and ended up with several bodily disfigurements for my efforts. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I volunteer at a school for kids with autism and one of the workers there is awful..
POST: I am only 17 and I love working with kids with autism. This year I convinced my school to let me go volunteer daily (12-3, while receiving credits) at a school for kids with disabilities. I really enjoyed it, and it worked out well because the woman I work primarily with was very similar to me although she is nine years older (26). We became friends kind of, which alerted me she was a bit immature since the age difference was so big. But after getting to know me, she began to let her guard down at work and started showing her true colors.
She does awful things to the kids, like putting candy in silly putty and telling them to pick out the candy and eat it. Of course the candy is generally coated in the putty and she generally chuckles when they eat it. If the kids have space issues she will put a stuffed animal really close to their faces and leave it there, even when the kids beg her to stop. She is constantly claiming it's "teaching" but I know she is taking it way to far. One of the kids is five yet still uses diapers and I'll notice he goes to the bathroom and she refuses to change it because she says it's "gross", allowing him to sit in it for hours. I, although being an unpaid volunteer, usually out of guilt change him, even though that is not in my requirements. On a regular basis she will say she "isn't feeling great" and isn't in the mood to teach them today. These kids have severe disabilities and need a strict schedule, not a teacher who only teaches when she feels like it (the parents are also paying $40,000 a year). She always complains about her pay and how much she wants to go home and it is a terrible environment for everyone involved.
I don't really know what to do, should I try to talk to one of the people at the school who is older, risking my relationship with the person who I have to spend the next few months being with? Or should I just ignore it?
TL;DR: | I'm a volunteer who befriended a teacher at a school for kids with autism. Teacher ended up being horrible to the kids and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I, [26M] keep seeing my [26F] ex-gf and having sex with her.
POST: This is turning out to be quite the complicated break-up.
We've been dating for about a year and a half.
We "broke up" about a week ago, but every two days or so, we still see each other and then something happens and we start touching, and before you know it, lunch turns into sex and a sleepover.
I'm perfectly capable of living my life single again and I'm OK with that. She texts me that she misses me and sends me photos and videos of the good times and when I'm feeling lonely, I want to see her too, so it happens.
She's beautiful, she's funny, and we have a lot in common.
For some reason though, In my heart I don't feel she's the one. Even if you don't believe in the "one", I don't know if I'm ready to stop dating and just be with her.
I'm trying to analyze whether or not, I'm just using her for sex or companionship or fun or just so I'm not lonely.
I don't know if I love her the way she loves me and I don't know why.
I start to think about my soul and get really deep with it. Yes, she's great, she's fun, and we're fun and lovey dovey. But, do I really feel like I'll reach my potential with her? She doesn't really push me. She doesn't really challenge me anymore...
I feel like I want someone smarter or more driven or kinkier or something, even though what I have is great. Would she make a good mother?
I can't reconcile the difference in my philosophy, "be content with what you have" and love. Why must we break up with people to find someone even better?
TL;DR: | We broke up, but we're still having sex. It's been about a week. I don't know what love is. I am worried I am fucking with her heart. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to be quiet. (NSFW)
POST: So for some background, my boyfriend still lives at home and I am allergic to dogs, so he has to put his wiener dog in the room with his mom whenever I'm over, which is right across the hall. When the dog hasn't seen Boyfriend in a while, he starts barking every time he hears the bedroom door open or movement about. So, in order not to make him bark and wake his grandpa, we have to close the door as quietly as possible.
Along comes sexy time, and I'm tasked with closing and locking the door. I twist the knob and press the door in as slowly as possible until I THINK I hear / feel it click into the threshold. Then I, again very slowly, turn the lock until it's vertical. Commence sexy time, and unbeknownst to us, his mom had taken the dog outside. The dog 11 years old, so after he goes potty, he knows to run inside and head straight for Boyfriend's room. Which he does, successfully swinging the door wide open and exposing us intertwined to his mother's horrified eyes. Boyfriend hops off me, grabs boxers to cover his area and somehow gets the dog out while I hid my shame under the covers. Then he runs behind the door, slams it shut, and swats me with pants. Mood killed, he returned to his game of GTAV, and I write this.
TL;DR: | I didn't completely shut and lock the door, the dog ran in and his mom saw us in the throes of passion. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: [HELP]:Stretch Marks are really hindering me-what can I do?
POST: Okay guys, first of all, the success stories on here are simply amazing. Secondly I posted this here, sorry if it's the wrong place, because I figured the members of this community would relate to my issue. I've been on a weight roller-coaster and most recently lost about 30 pounds and FINALLY landed in my healthy BMI (although at the border). Here's the thing, even though I can wear "normal" clothes now, my stretch marks ruin everything. Mine are just all over, I really didn't luck out in that department. My stomach is the worst, but my upper arms are what bother me the most because that's where the issues start. I've been wearing long sleeves for years, even in blistering heat and it pretty much sucks. I feel immensely uncomfortable wearing anything that doesn't come up to at least my elbow. Is there anyway to fix this? Do I just need to get over it?Can you recommend any products?
TL;DR: | Lost weight, covered in stretch marks, still can't wear anything but long sleeves because of it. Appreciate any advice and product recommendations. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [22/m] am afraid my gf [19/f] of 8 months, wants to throw away her future for me.
POST: I'm going to be starting my final semester that I am at in the current school that I am at. I want to go to this certain school for my future and have planned on going to this school for awhile because it fits my major perfectly. My girlfriend and I have been in this relationship for 8 months now, but she has already told her parents and made plans to go to the same school as me- all because I'm going there. While this school might be alright for her, it wasn't her first choice.
I do know that she takes this relationship much more serious then I do, but I never thought that she would consider changing her entire course of her future for me. I always thought that our relationship was a temporary thing that would be forced to end when we are going to different schools.
TL;DR: | gf wants to go to the same college as I do just because we are dating. She takes this relationship more serious than I do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think my neighbour [70sM] stole a plant from my [24F] garden?
POST: When I came home from work today the laundry door (which opens to the backyard) was open - not a huge deal. After closing it I went to water my plants, only to find the soil was already damp and my poor catmint plant had been blasted over sideways. Also, my catgrass plant was gone - just completely disappeared. I'm mystified and honestly, pissed.
I surmise that my neighbour came over at some point today, watered the plants using the hose from the laundry (forgetting to close the door), mangled my catmint (yet nothing else was mangled?), took the catgrass right out of the planter box, and left. Wtf?
Yesterday we spoke and he mentioned he was leaving town for a few days, so he was likely aiming to do me a favour by giving the plants a good watering before he left. If he had accidentally mangled the catgrass to the point where it was beyond saving, couldn't he at least have left a note in the letterbox or something? I'm annoyed because I bought that plant not two weeks ago and it was thriving :(. Not to mention how bloody forlorn the catmint looks now that it's been pressure-sprayed into a 90 degree angle.
Normally he's a really great neighbour. He takes our bins out and brings them in on rubbish days; mows our lawn and maintains the garden; and since he's retired and home all day he keeps an eye on the place, which is invaluable in this somewhat shady suburb. He is really a treasure and a genuinely good bloke. So of course I want to approach this sensitively. Should I leave a note in his letterbox? Wait til he gets back and approach him in person? How do you nicely ask someone to not water/touch your plants?
TL;DR: | Neighbour mangled one of my plants and took another out of the planter box without telling me at all. How do I nicely ask him to stop messing with my garden? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] am fighting with my Mother [49F] for the last 18 hours now and it's eating me up.
POST: My mom and I typically keep conversations pretty short and to the point, nothing about emotions because I assume my mom wants to avoid speaking about her emotions. She made a comment today about how she wanted to deal with her dog's death on her own, without talking to anyone else. The weekend her dog died I was having a hard weekend from being broken up with, but all she informed me that weekend end was that her dog had died, and was very upset. I told her I'm sorry and if there is anything I can do to let me know. For about a week, I spoke with her, but she didn't once ask how I was doing, or what's going on in my life.
Today when we talked, I asked her, "Do you think that is narcissistic?" Not in any condescending tone, just legitimately asking her if she thinks that? The conversation was all right until I requested that, she claimed I was attacking her, and then wouldn't let me speak. She was screaming at me, and I was getting emotionally escalated at this point, and I had an upset look on my face. She stated that I "always" get angry when we talk. Then I said, why do you get so offended when asked a question that isn't personal? She said, " Oh, so this is all about you know?" Then I hung up, because she always does this. Does anyone have any insight as to what my mom is displaying (personality wise), or why she always does this? What is the best way to respond to her?
She has since blocked me from Facebook, blocked me from calling or texting her, all because I asked her a question that challenged her thinking.
TL;DR: | How can I move forward, with communicating with her? And given the signs she is displaying is this related to a personality issue?. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] want my girlfriend [23F] to quit her job. Am I too controlling, or is she just being stubborn?
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for four years. We're only a year apart in age but two years in school, so she's just finishing up school while I've been working for two years. We've gone through a lot over the years and have every intention of getting married in a few years.
I make a decent amount of money, and own my place. She's a grad student in a fairly intensive program. She talked me into letting her pay about ½ the rent and I would pay our shared expenses, but even that's a stretch for her. She's working long weeks and putting it toward rent when she could be studying or just relaxing. I want her to just quit her job so she can focus on classes and other parts of her life. She's so stubborn and I think she's bit off more than she can chew.
I don't want to come off like I'm the controlling boyfriend, I'm not trying to cut her off from her friends or something, I just want to take some of the pressure off of her. And I can very easily pay the entire rent so it's not a big deal.
She works as a personal assistant so even though it's not minimum wage, it doesn't have anything to do with her area of study.
I've mentioned it as an option in the past and the other day when she was miserable and buried in work, I told her that I really thought she should quit. But she got really defensive so I backed off.
Am I being unreasonable?
I love this woman and want to spend the rest of my life with her. Am I wrong to tell her that she needs to give up something?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is working herself into the ground. I want her to give up her job. Am I out of line? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: Low heart rate, averaging 56-58 bpm
POST: Hello all,
I am 28 years old, my height is 5'11'' and I am on the heavier side around 250 pounds. I am white(italian/irish mix). I do not currently take any medication. My father has a thyroid condition but I have shown no signs of having one in an of my blood work.
My diet up until recently was pretty bad, fast food, chinese food with fried rice. All kinds of fatty snacks. Although I did make sure I still got some nutrients through eating vegetables and such. I would not eat breakfast and would have large lunches and dinners.
During this time and over the last few years my resting heart rate was usually averaging 86bpm. some times depending it would spike to the 90s or drop to the mid 70s.
Any way about 2 weeks ago I made a drastic change to my diet. I cut out fast food and have been eating lots of salads(kale spinach lettuce carrots avacado), started eating bananas and clementimes as snacks. Been eating Salmon and Chicken as my main meals. Oatmeal and Mueseli for breakfast. I have only been drinking water and green tea with the very occasional cranberry juice.
While my calorie intake is down I do not think I am under eating. I have been probably eating the same amount as before just spread out in portions throughout the day.
About 3 days ago I started taking my BPM again and noticed that usually it is around 56-58bpm. Right after a meal it will spike to 67-74ish while digesting.
My question is do any of you think this is a cause for concern. I don't feel light headed or have any headaches. Besides the initial sugar withdrawls when I first started I am feeling better then I have in years. I did expect my health to start to turn around but I haven't started exercising as of yet just changed my eating habits.
Is it normal for BPM to change this drastically over just 2 weeks of eating healthy. I mean from 86BPM to 58BPM just seems like a lot to me.
TL;DR: | Started eating very healthy 2 and a half weeks ago. BPM has gone from 86ish to 58ish. Is this a cause for concern? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [22/F] "dated" [21/M]; separated b/c of distance, how do I get over him?
POST: So, I've been living abroad. In the past few months I got romantically involved with a friend. He went home to his country a month ago, I'm going home to mine tomorrow. I visited him for a week and after a couple of mis-communicated discussions about what to do I've come to the conclusion that we both wanted to discuss long-distance but were too afraid to put ourselves out there. Now we're texting but he's not being very responsive although he reassured me before I left that he really likes me and promised to come visit me in my country.
I get that this situation is probably doomed and so I'm asking for help to get over him because my chest just feels like absolutely horrible and I feel completely lost and empty and like I don't want to do anything but see him again. I don't want my parents to see me like this but I've never felt this way after something ended before and I don't know how to handle it. Every forum I've looked at so far gives advice for being dumped or how to move on from unrequited love, someone who cheated, etc. but nothing for my situation. It's hard because I know he likes me still and there are lingering promises for the future but nothing solid enough to satisfy me.
Additional information, I know people who were able to overcome the distance barrier and are very happy but I don't foresee that happening for us because I don't speak his country's language and I can tell he'd never leave it.
TL;DR: | version: girl likes boy, boy likes girl, they date, they're separated by distance, they still like each other, girl feels so horrible she needs to get him out of her mind. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[19m] girlfriend [19f] recently switched schools and now only has guy friends. Don't know how to feel about it.
POST: Feels awkward as hell to ask for advice on reddit. Anyway title basically says it. She used to have quite a few girl friends, though she rarely talks with them anymore, since they also went to a new school.
Now however my girlfriend is in classes that are predominately male, and she's expressed to me she doesn't like the girls that are there. Now I don't really mind her having to work with them (which she has to, for projects and all), but they're starting to become good friends.
Now I know it's not a problem for her to have male friends, I didn't mind before, but now they're only male, and so many of them. And like most of us know, not all guys have innocent intentions.
Not sure what else to say, I feel pretty silly for being bothered by it, but do you have any advice?
Quick
TL;DR: | New school, new friends, all guys. Don't know if I should be worried at all, or even be bothered by it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] and her [21F], together for 6 months...question about text interpretation
POST: Hi everybody,
I have been going out with Cassie for almost six months now. This might not be a huge issue like some of the stuff on here but I have a question about some strange behavior.
Over the last month or so Cassie has been sending me SnapChats of road signs at various points throughout the day. Most of the time they are sent while I'm at work so I can't respond anyways but sometimes they are late at night and there were one or two over the weekend. So far I haven't addressed these snaps because I feel like I am just missing the message here and I don't want to seem oblivious.
Most of the signs are more rare ones ("6% grade, trucks cautioned" or "deer crossing") but once or twice there have been ones like "no turn on red" or "gas station in 2 miles."
I am just at a loss on how to interpret these. I don't remember us ever joking about road signs or anything but even if they are spontaneous they don't seem funny, absurd, or anything. I feel like there is some message I am missing but I just cannot imagine what it would be. Is this a thing the kids are doing, or am I just really dense? She hasn't referenced the snaps in any other context so so far I haven't either.
TL;DR: | GF has been sending me pictures of road signs and I don't know what they mean. Am I just dense, and if so, what do they mean? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my (for lack of a better word) girlfriend [23 F] for about 9 months. Told her "fuck you" today because she "played a joke" on me. Safe to say she's mad and not talking to me. Need some advice.
POST: A girl i've been talking to for around 9 months now lives across the country from me. To start off i'm crazy about this girl. I don't always know what she's doing though since she's busy a lot and doesn't always have time to talk. Usually i'm fine with that.
So she's at this convention and she calls me and some guy takes the phone and says "yo this is her boyfriend. Who's this." He says they met in vegas a few months ago and that she's playing me like she's playing him. I hang up and text her "fuck you. you lied to me." She starts saying "are you serious? it was a dumb joke a drunk friend was playing" etc. She said "i hate you" few times and "I care about you and trust you but this is what you think? i'm heart broken" and "i don't want to talk to you." Yea i know i'm probably an asshole.
i'm still a little suspicious but i genuinely feel terrible especially for the "fuck you" and decided to take her word since I really care about her. i've apologized profusely but she still doesn't want to talk to me. what should i do? keep apologizing? give her space? I'm just don't know what to do. Please help.
TL;DR: | Told my girl "fuck you" because her guy friend "played a joke on me" and said he's her boyfriend. She won't talk to me now and just keeps saying fuck you. what should i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [14 M] have been talking with a girl [15 F], and i want to ask her out but i have no idea what to do if she says yes
POST: I've been talking with a girl from my english class over facebook and real life for about a week and i want to ask her out. I learned that she had a huge crush on me, so i decided to start talking to her and we have been talking ever since. She is the only thing I now think about and I would want to ask her to be my girlfriend. One of her friends told me that if I asked her out she would most definitely say yes.
My question is: What do i do i she says yes when I ask her to be my girlfriend, do I kiss her, hug her? I have literally no idea because she is the first girl I'm really interested in.
TL;DR: | I [14 M] have been talking with a girl [15 F], and i want to ask her out but i have no idea what to do if she says yes |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: How can I help Merle?
POST: [This is Merle]
He has been around our small apartment complex since we moved in. From what I know he is seemingly healthy, and very friendly, loves tuna and hates steak. We believe he may belong to our downstairs neighbor because we have seen him inside a handful of times over the past 12, though it is still not for certain because 98% of the time Merle is outside regardless of the weather. The downstairs neighbor does not leave food or water outside for Merle, so often times many of the apartments leave water or the occasional food for him. I know that recently the downstairs neighbor was gone for a period of time when the temperatures were reaching the 100s and Merle was outside the entire time.
Merle does not have a collar, and my neighbor has a history of violence so I prefer not to ask if the cat is his. However, I do want to make sure he is taken care of once I move and I am willing to take responsibility for him.
TL;DR: | Essentially, there is a cat that is either a stray or is being neglected by our neighbor, and I am willing to take care of him if no one else is. Where do I go from here? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend left on vacation and stopped talking to me
POST: My boyfriend (26m) and I (27f) have been together for about 2 years now. Recently, he has be travelling quite a bit and about a month ago he went out of the country for a little over 2 weeks. We would send each other quick emails and would try and talk on Skype and message each other, but we would only get to talk for about maybe 10 minutes (mostly messaging) each day. One day he signed out of the chat in the middle of the conversation (no "bye" or "have to go") and after not hearing anything from him for about 6 hours I sent him a two sentence email asking him to just send me an email back when ever he got it so that I knew he was OK. He got kind of pissy with me and said something along the lines of "I need to know that you're not going to get all upset if something like that happens again," like I was being super clingy. I let him know that that was a shitty thing to say and that he shouldn't get upset with me for being mildly worried that something was wrong.
He's out of the country again and I resolved to let him initiate all of our conversations if he thinks I'm being too "clingy" when he leaves. I have barely heard from him in 5 days and when I did hear from him, he just wanted me to do him a favor.
What confuses me about the whole situation is how affectionate he is when we're in the same room with one another. He always finds a way to make some sort of physical contact when we are together (holding my hand, leaning into me a little bit, etc), but seems like as soon as he leaves I cease to exist. I am thoroughly confused by his behavior. Is this something that anyone else has experienced?
TL;DR: | When my boyfriend goes out of town it seems like he doesn't want anything to do with me even though he is very affectionate when we are together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [F/22] moving abroad and question my relationship with [m/25]
POST: So here is my problem. I am about to move to a foreign country.
I have been dating my boyfriend for 1.5 years. We spent the last 6 months living together. I love him and am crazy about him. However I found out I'm moving to another country and we decided to take it day by day and see what happens. I recently packed up and left to move a few days ago. I'll be gone at least one year. He seems okay with it, I seem okay with it. I feel like we're in a good place in our relationship and it won't be terrible. My boyfriend has never lived abroad before and doesn't handle change well. He also currently doesn't have a job and doesn't go to school.
Guy B I've been messaging for a few months about things related to where I am moving. He's a bit older than me and He recently called me randomly and we talked on the phone a few times and he understands more than my boyfriend... especially with what I'm going through. He previously did the program I'm about to do and actually applied but got wait listed. So he may or may not be going as well. He's been incredibly helpful and I genuinely enjoy talking to him, probably a lot more than I enjoy talking to my boyfriend right now. I feel all nervous and cute and those feelings I had when I started originally talking to my boyfriend before we started dating.. Like for some reason I just really like talking to him.
I know nothing will probably ever happen with Guy B. I'm okay with this, but it just makes me think differently about my boyfriend and makes me realize that Guy B offers more attributes and more what I'm looking for in a relationship.
Should I take this as a sign that my boyfriend and I aren't going to work? Or am I reading too much into everything.
TL;DR: | I'm moving abroad for a year and am realizing that my boyfriend may not be as good for me as I may have originally thought. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I [23F] a total jerk for feeling this way?
POST: I've been with my boyfriend[26M] for about 4 years now. Everything has been going pretty well. There's not really anything wrong with our relationship, but lately I've been having negative thoughts about two things.
First, I feel like my bf has very little ambition. He is content making just enough money to get by, and he doesn't seem to have passion for anything really. I don't care much about the money, but I just wish he was more driven or at least had a hobby he cared a lot about. I went into more detail about this in a post to a different subreddit if you feel like looking for it.
Second, the thing I feel really guilty about. I basically haven't known what it's like to not be in a relationship. I haven't been single for more than 3 months since I was 16. Part of me wants to know what it's like, even though I know I love my bf. I want to know what it's like to not be committed to someone I guess. I feel like a complete bitch for feeling this way though because my bf is such a great person, and he cares deeply for me.
I guess I just don't know what to do. Obviously communicating all of this to him is best, but I know it's going to hurt him a lot. I would hate to make him feel awful.
TL;DR: | I think my bf isn't ambitious, and I also want to know what it's like to be single. I feel very guilty for having these thoughts, and I don't know how to handle it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [22/m] spent the entire day with my ex [22/f]
POST: So I dated this girl for only about a year and we both mutually cut it off because we were both busy with school and full time jobs. About 5 months passed by and this past week we spent a few days together. I knew I would start developing feelings for her again and I did, she was my best friend and truly has most qualities I look for in a partner. She called me last night asking if I wanted to get out of the city and go to the forest. So we went, stayed up all night cuddling under a blanket and holding hands. She asked me if I have been seeing anyone and I said I was but it didn't work out and she told me she was jealous.
We basically talked the whole time about how she wanted to do all these things with me and how she missed me, so I said ok what do you want out of this? And she said she wouldn't ever want to get back together. So I said then what are we doing right now, why are you holding me like this, why are you fondling me, and I got frustrated so we ended up leaving. Then later on she said she wishes she could hangout with me without developing feelings for me and that she wanted to see me again. The last thing I said to her was I wish we could start over, she shook her head no and left. I don't get it, I feel like I fucked it up by bringing up that conversation.
But my real question is why do I continue to want to be with her? She doesn't know what she wants. Not just with this girl, every girl I have dated, no matter what and how many red flags there are I continue to pursue them and then I get hurt. It's utterly stupid, I don't know why I do this and don't know how to break the habit. The closest thing I can compare it to is smoking cigarettes, I know they are bad for me, yet I continue to smoke.
TL;DR: | Hungout with my ex and it was all so spontaneous and great, then I fucked it up by getting frustrated and down. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Am I being unreasonable with Barnes & Noble?
POST: I bought a Nook SimpleTouch in late August. 3 weeks after getting it (when I really got around to start using it), I noticed how buggy it was — having to restart 3 or 4 times in an evening. I tried to exchange it at the store where I bought it, but they refused and offered to trade me for a refurbished unit less than a month after buying it brand new. When I refused that, I was told to call 1-800-THE-BOOK.
Barnes & Noble asks for credit card numbers, and I am not of the mind to give mine out to just anyone after having a card number stolen. Long and short, they agreed to send me a new Nook but warned that I'd be charged if my Nook wasn't returned to them within 14 days of receiving the replacement. I agreed.
A month and a half went by with no Nook, so I emailed B&N service about this, explaining that the service has been so poor following the sale that I'd rather cut my losses and not be a Barnes & Noble customer anymore. I got a response over email and talked to reps on the phone and eventually, they agreed to RMA my device and said that they'd hoped this resolution would heal my opinion of Barnes & Noble.
On Tuesday, I got a replacement Nook. I don't even want to take it out of the box and use it because I don't want to deal with their inferior products or inferior service. I don't mean to be a jerk to them, but I keep asking for the empathy to try to do right by their customers.
Their customer service is understanding enough, but they do not seem empowered to do much of anything.
TL;DR: | Almost 4 months after getting a buggy Nook that Barnes & Noble didn't exchange until this week, they refuse to give the refund that had been agreed to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, so I'm a high-school drop-out and I want to make video games. Can I have some advice on where to go here?
POST: My whole life has been surrounded by video games, I was practically raised by the teachings of Ocarina of Time, Halo, Final Fantasy and other great games.
My passion for gaming is massive, I don't think I realise just how massive either.
I have applied for a degree of Games Design and Animation at Quantm College in Melbourne, Australia. It's a 2 year full-time, intensive course outline that will apparently land me in a job as soon as I finish, but its pretty expensive seeming as its at a private institute.
I am waiting to hear from them in August and in the meantime I have been looking deeper into the world of game development and I think that maybe Games Programming might be something I would want a good knowledge of as well.
There seems to be a magic aura around programming, like its a whole new and amazing world, that so far has been left untapped by my brain.
I used to just wander around video game environments taking in the design of the worlds and imagining the effort and time put into making it all appear on my home tv/ monitor, but the programming behind it seems fascinating as well.
I want to eventually make console or pc games on the levels of Halo, Half Life, World of Warcraft, etc.
I'm not really interested in iPad, iPhone and mobile games.
TL;DR: | Is anyone in a similar situation to me and can shed some light on what you have done, and your thoughts on working in the Game development industry |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Parents ask me[20 M] what I want then guilt/threaten me into what they want
POST: My parents are loving people. I love them uncontrollably and am very close with them and my family. The problem is, I am in a relationship with my first serious girlfriend and although they think she's coming between them and me... they're coming between us.
I don't rebel and ignore them. I stay home every other day, help around the house, spend quality time with them. But the minute I want to visit my girlfriend late, hang out with friends or even go play football downtown, they get on my case.
We sat and had a discussion about what I really want. I told them what I would like to do and my mom seems to understand that I just want to be able to spend time with my girlfriend or go out and do my own thing without feeling afraid of how they'll chew me out or ignore me for it. My dad seems to think I'm throwing away the family. I spend time with them ALL THE TIME. We take trips together, play games together, chat together, go to movies etc. I spend alot of time with my family and bond with them. But it feels like they're not satisfied with just having a part of me.
TL;DR: | Parents want me to be happy, but only by their set way. They think they're helping but they're pushing me into depression. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Have you ever quit a decently-paying job just because you hated it, and with no backup plan or alternate employment? What happened? Did you regret it?
POST: I have a secure job with health and retirement benefits, but I hate what it's done to my life. I moved to a shitty rural town to take this job and I'm extremely lonely and I feel like a cultural outsider (I'm much more comfortable in a city, apparently, and I feel like I just don't fit in here in spite of repeated efforts to make friends). It's also about an hour's drive in any direction to get to small/mid-sized towns with basic amenities. There is literally no reason to live in this town except for the fact that I'm working this job.
My job is fucking stressful and involves long hours 8 months of the year. I don't like my boss and one of my coworkers is regularly corrupt and unethical and it makes me uncomfortable. The workplace politics and bullshit are worse than the job itself. I could make you a laundry list of specific reasons my job is terrible, but I'll spare you.
Whenever things get bad I sit around contemplating whether it's a terrible idea to just quit outright and move to Chicago or somewhere and just hope I can land on my feet somehow. I've been applying for jobs the past 2 months and I had one interview but I haven't heard anything back yet. I'm scared of completely losing my income at a time when the economy is shitty, and I'm worried about losing my health benefits... I'm healthy enough and rarely go to doctors, but I am scared of lacking that "just-in-case" security. I'm generally paranoid and I highly value having security, but I'm starting to feel like my desire to privilege security is costing me big in every other aspect of my life.
The plan has been to find another job and THEN quit, but the more I think about enduring this situation indefinitely until that opportunity arises, the more depressed and terrible I feel. I want out.
TL;DR: | My job fucking sucks but I currently don't have any other jobs lined up. Have you ever just quit a job before? Did you land on your feet? Did you regret it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By showing my soon to be father-in-law my junk.
POST: This happened last night. My fiancé's dad came over for dinner since his wife was having dinner with her friend. as soon as he walks in, he takes a seat at the table to say hi to our 3 year old son. I was walking up to the table behind him and I see a rip on the back of his jacket. I mentioned it, but he already knew. Knowing how he doesn't really care about that stuff, and he really likes that jacket, I mention he can easily patch it. He agrees by saying that's what he was thinking about doing.
That's when I kind of laugh and say, "He'll I'm just as bad." I lift up my shirt to show him my belt. It's tore the F up all duct taped together and still kind of falling apart. Well, I'm also wearing a crappy pair of pants with a zipper that doesn't stay up. It was a perfect storm. My zipper was down, boxers had the gaping hole wide open and my junk was displayed through the hole of my jeans in all its glory. I honestly don't know what was worst that or his comment to my fiancé, something along the lines of "now I understand why you're marrying him." I pretty sure he was joking. But this came from a man who has a really dry sense of humor but sometimes comes up with a good one... I'm pretty mortified. My fiancé was laughing too hysterically to be mortified. But I quickly learned a trick to use a key ring on my zipper around the button to hold the zipper up. Lesson learned; engagement possibly over.
Here's a link to a photo of my stupid belt
TL;DR: | I accidently showed my "possible" future father-in-law my junk. I may need to find a new fiancé. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 M] am having a hard time working with a really attractive intern [19 F].
POST: I work in a small business (6 people) and one of the interns we hired for the summer is very attractive, smart, flirtatious, mature for her age, etc. I've been single for years until recently (just started dating someone a couple months ago and it looks like it's going somewhere).
On paper, I would never say I'd date or sleep with a 19-year old. Can't stand the drama, which is why I usually date older. Anyway, this isn't paper and I obviously can't control being attracted to her.
What can I do to lessen the "power" that my attraction to her has over me? I can literally feel my hormones flowing and acting up when she's around, and it drives me nuts. I just want to be able to work in my office without feeling attracted to her and without constantly thinking about trying to sleep with her.
I know you may be thinking "oh, woe is you... you work with an attractive intern, just control yourself, asshole", but I honestly am just looking for tips (whether mental exercises or discipline exercises, whatever) to not think about her.
TL;DR: | I work with a young, attractive, smart, mature intern. Been single for a long time and am just beginning to get serious with someone. How do I stop thinking about the intern? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I can't take it Reddit Politics, Jobs, Media, etc.
POST: I can't take it anymore reddit. I feel overwhelmingly stuck as if I were cemented to the floor I sit at now. I have a college degree which is the new diploma which basically makes it worth jack shit, I'm a couple months away from turning 25, still live at home because I can't find a job to which I can start an actual career, not working the jobs I would work part time while at school. Everyday I either hear or read about another politician determined to fuck up anything that seems progressive or logical resulting in, we the people, being bent over and fucked again. I keep thinking that theres something I'm supposed to be looking forward to in the near future, but there really is nothing. I'm becoming angrier and angrier with everything around me and am so sickened by how things are being run in this country where as the system can and is being manipulated by those whom have their own agendas in disregard of what the people want. The propaganda that is spewed through the media by the political parties, corporations and general interest groups so easily manipulate people as if they were sheep being baited along. I can't take it reddit, I feel extremely hopeless towards the future and it makes me anxious and depressed.
TL;DR: | The state of the country, inability to find work and general hopelessness of the future state of this country have broken me down to a point I can't take it anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Dentist opened care credit card in my name ($15k). What should I do?
POST: So quick story...I had a piece of my tooth break off and panicked and tried to find a dentist to take a look at it. I find a place nearby that had good reviews on Google.
I had never used my insurance for my teeth ever, I had no card, I had no member ID. All I could use was my SSN to acknowledge I was covered.
I visit...I'm told I need a root canal, deep cleaning, etc. it's gonna be like $2200 out of pocket.
I am probably visibly amazed by this and we're discussing insurance and how to pay, etc. she mentions care credit and I am familiar with the concept due to being a pet owner.
Anywho. We go back to talking about insurance and she asks "do you want me to see if you're approved?" Great, I'm thinking she needs to get the procedure pre approved like at a doctor.
She makes a phone call, has my SSN from my new patient forms. None of this is raising a red flag at this point and I'm distracted getting this document pushed on me to sign for the procedure. It's been like 10 hrs since my tooth broke and now I have a laundry list of work to do and I am very confused
She then asks me if she can say I gross $4k/month. Im confused by thst and tell her "sure". No clue why she was asking
"Great, you're approved for $15k"
"Wow, insurance will cover that much?"
"No, care credit. Your cards will be in next week."
I just groan at this point. I feel dumb. All the pieces fit together.
I'm assuming this affects my credit. Should I close this line of credit? Or is that worse for my credit score?
P.S. I got a second opinion after reading nightmare reviews on Yelp. I didn't need anything they quoted out. They were compete hustlers.
TL;DR: | I'm dumb and got hustled by a dentist who opened a $15k line of credit for me for work I never had done or required. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Couples of reddit, how do you manage your financials so you don't argue about money?
POST: I'm (24,M) in a long term relationship with my partner (27,F) for about 8 years. In december we're getting married. I think we're a very good couple (we have our hickups of course) and really love each other.
Now that we're getting married, I'd like to have some advice and insight into other relationships on how to handle the financials as a couple.
We both have steady jobs with a different pay. She makes about 30% more than I do and is more career oriented than I am. If i'd have to predict the future, I'd wager that this percentage will increase.
At the moment we have a shared bank account which we use to buy our groceries and pay bills (rent, cable,...). When we were still in college, we contributed an equal amount to this account. When we started working we contributed an amount relative to our wages are proportionate to eachother (for example, she would contribute $130USD and I $100).
Now that we're getting married, it seems to make more sense to just dump everything together so we don't have the annoying issues of what to pay with which bank account, settling purchases,.. On the other hand, it makes sense that you have your own account and continue as we've done before (but with a substantial bigger contribution).
When we'd get a mortgage to buy a house things'll get even more complicated, so I'd like to get a good financial arrangement in our relationship.
What do other couples do?
TL;DR: | Getting married soon and would like to know what the best way is to sort out the financial arrangement with your spouse.! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Help! I [f18] might have ruined two year relationship.
POST: Ok so I [f18] need help making things work with my SO [m19]. We've been together for a little over two years now and I have a bit of a problem.
Ok here's a little back story.
So my SO and I got together two years ago and he is the sweetest guy I've ever met he went above and beyond when asking me out and to prom and stuff like that but I had had a crush on one of his friends and found out that he had a crush on me too. We had never actually done anything but we would talk and my SO found out nd told me to stop talking to him...... I didn't. And when he found out I lied he almost broke up with me which I don't blame him for bcs that's hard to deal with. That was six months into the relationship. There had been guys that I would talk to that I would just consider friends nd they'd flirt and I stopped talking to them. Now it's been almost two and a half years and I have been talking to an ex of mine. My SO knew I had been talking to him but just as friends and I never mentioned to him that he was my ex and my SO almost broke up with me again.
I told my SO that I want to make this work but I just don't know exactly how. I don't know why I do it and talk to guys like this but I want to stop nd have a good relationship with my SO. I really do love him and want to make this work. Please help.
Any advice or experiences you guys have is greatly appreciated
TL;DR: | need advice. My SO found out that I had been talking to an ex who was flirting and i didnt stop it and almost broke up with me. What can I do to fix this and make it work? Please help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 /F] with my bf [26 M] together 7 months, want a threesome with another female.
POST: My guy and I talk a lot about having a threesome with another girl. He is open to me and the girl just doing things or including him. I would love to do this but am worried that I would get jealous or worried that he would contact the girl.
We are looking to get a random girl that neither of us knows so it won't effect any relationships. So, my main question is for the couples out there who have had threesomes what are some things I should expect? What reasons do you have that I should or shouldn't go through with this? Basically just tell me your experiences.
Thanks!!
TL;DR: | bf and I want threesome. What do you expect will happen to it relationship? What will happen during the experience? Have you tried this before? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by sending a girl flowers.
POST: Oh boy.
I've been living on campus at my university for about a month now. For the past month or so now I've been pretty sure my resident assistant has been flirting with me. I'm not very good at reading women so I asked a couple other people who've seen us around each other (even my mom) and they all agreed I wasn't crazy. I never thought of her that way before but she's not a terrible person and she's kind of attractive so I thought hey I'll give it a shot.
Which is why on Friday I went to the flower store, bought her a small bouquet of roses and baby's breath, made sure they were discretely wrapped, and send them to her.
Two days later I hadn't gotten any sort of acknowledgement, so figured either a. I grossly misinterpretted her actions and now she's avoiding me or b. she isn't sure that it was me who sent the flowers.
So I just straight up messaged her, "Hey, did you like the flowers?"
Well, I probably got the worst possible answer. It was as follows. "Please don't post anything more on the group (facebook, where I post a lot) page. You and I will talk in person. I'm in my room until 2pm besides lunch at noonish." So now I'm just stalling in waiting to see her and preparing for the inevitable, "Don't contact me outside of our professional relationship again."
The
TL;DR: | moral of the story is: Don't send girls who you think like you flowers, especially if you're socially retarded. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [23M] broke up with me [20 F] after living with him for 2 months. I moved 6 hours away for him.
POST: In the morning I got a call back from a job offer including my start date. He did not congratulate me and I got a little upset. Then he says I should not take the job and I asked him why. He wants us to breakup and for me to go back home. He said it was because we argue a lot and that he feels done with the relationship.
He said that he thinks it is time to move on because he noticed that he does not have a sex drive with me anymore. He is also not affectionate and he always gets angry whenever I do something wrong. It's true, lately he has been snapping at me for small things and when I make mistakes. He used to say before that he did not want to have sex because he wanted to be clean (he was raised Buddhist). I accepted it even though I felt ugly and unwanted because he kept rejecting me.
He said he's going to drive me back this weekend but I don't want to go. I don't want to live there anymore. I was planning to go to community college in the new area I moved in. The job i got accepted to is a huge improvement from the one I have now. However, I am alone here and would be by myself with no family or friends. If I live here I would have to rent out a room for myself and it would be expensive.
TL;DR: | Got broken up this morning. I don't know whether I should return home where I have family and friends, or stay here where I got accepted to a better paying job. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(F22) have no idea how to confront this situation with my best friend M(21)!
POST: I am currently seeing this guy and he is my best friend, we admitted feelings to each other and it progressed from there. We have had sex before talking about if we were in a relationship or not. After a bit we agreed to be unofficially official, I guess meaning that we were not going to be seeing anyone else.
We ended things for a while, but then got back into fooling around with each other again. And still no talk of what we are. I know he's not seeing anyone and the only reason he tells me he doesn't want a girlfriend is he has a lot of things to deal with his family and money, but I've been there every step of the way.
We talk everyday, hang out just like we have always done, but there is that vibe in the air between us. (at least that's what I feel with him) We never call/text each other for sex, it's always to hang out or do something together, or help each other with our cars. Sometimes he'll just kiss me randomly and just tickle me as often as he can get his hands on me. We don't have sex a lot, maybe once every 10 times we hang out, ~once a month, if even that.
I am not sure if I should ask him now if we are exclusive with each other, or if I should wait another month or so to see where things go. I will cut off sexual activities and kissing too during this time, until I know what we are.
I just want to know if I should ask him upfront right now, or if I should wait to see what he says/does.
TL;DR: | Fooling around with best friend, but not letting it control our relationship. Is is a FWB with feelings or is it a relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [19/M] dating this girl I know [19/F] and she's worried to tell a friend about us
POST: So this girl and I have been dating for nearly 4 months now and one of her best friends doesn't know about us and we don't know what to do.
I dated a friend of the friend 2 years ago and it ended badly so we're worried that she won't like the idea of us and give my gf hell. They go to school together and always around and my gf hates not saying anything/lying about it.
I want to say something to the friend but my gf is worried that she won't like the idea of it and stop talking to her and I'm not sure what to do, I've known my girlfriend for a while now and being in a relationship with her has made me so immensely happy I'm not sure the best way to go about this.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has a friend that doesn't like me and she's scared to tell her we're dating in case she stops to her, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (19F) relationships both platonic and romantic (M&F) always get intense really fast
POST: I recognise that the common factor in this is me. My relationships with people I have a geniune interest in always seem to get really intense, relatively fast compared to how my peers and friends approach their relationships.
I don't mean like meet someone, then latch onto then and imagine them to be my new bff/SO but it seems like I always seem to get to know someone really well in a very short space of time then run out of things to talk about with that person? Like, I'll know all the deep dark secrets and personal hopes and dreams and their life philosophies but have trouble just shooting shit.
Most of my close friends are people who I've bonded over a rough patch in their life (them complaining), in my life (me complaining), a common difficulty (mental health, sexuality, toxic person) and I don't seem to be able to make close friends from more inconspicuous means e.g. just sharing a class. I make ok friends but not the type you'd make an effort to hang out with outside class (Which is fine I know) but if I make an effort to get close to someone the relationship intensity seems to go from 0 to 80 no matter what I try to do to slow it down.
Previously, this has caused romantic relationships to fizzle out since it seemed like we had nothing else to talk about.
The only thing that seems to help is to do an engaging activity together e.g. painting or cooking and then we don't have the focus to talk about anything intense.
TL;DR: | both my friendships and my romantic relationships get really intense really fast. Don't know why I do this or how to stop. |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Cat showed up at our door today that my parents think is our cat that went missing ~5 years ago. My brother and I aren't entirely convinced that it's possible. Help?
POST: (Sorry for the text wall!)
This morning at about 2am, my dad woke up to some loud meowing outside. He went downstairs to let our cat, Bandit, in. Following right behind him was a cat that looks uncannily like the cat we thought ran off or was killed by something around 4 or 5 years ago. He walked right in and went for the food bowl, acting like he never left.
Now, my parents are 110% convinced that it is indeed our long missing cat Smokey. I think it is too, but I'm not entirely convinced. It just seems too crazy to have him just appear out of nowhere after years of being gone. But this cat acts just like I remember Smokey acting - trills a lot, headbutts your hand so you pet him, and purring so loudly you can hear him across the room. He and Bandit are also inseparable again; just like they were when we brought them home from the shelter.
I've linked an album with the only two pictures we have of Smokey before he disappeared (apologies for the bad quality of the first two, we lost all of the other photos when our hard drive crashed a couple of years ago) and pictures of the cat that showed up today. Does it look like the same cat? Is it more likely than I and my brother think that our cat would come home again after several years?
[The Album](
TL;DR: | Kitty wanders in one day that looks like our cat that went missing 4-5 years ago. Not entirely convinced it is him but parents are. Then and now pics in linked album. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: is compromise even possible for this situation?
POST: So my boyfriend (m25) and I (f24) have been living together for a year, together for two. I love living with him and we have this cute little apartment but now that our lease is up, all the little things I may have looked beyond earlier are starting to get to me (some of the storage space is really inefficient, and I really think -after some research in my area- that were totally overpaying for what we have) My problem is, he really isn't interested in looking at other places, even though we could potentially be upgrading for a cheaper rent. I'm never one to be selfish and his happiness is just as important as mine, but with me wanting to move and him not wanting to, is there anyway you think we can come to something that makes us both happy?
TL;DR: | (come on it's really not that long) boyfriend doesn't want to move and I do, is compromise or middle ground even possible? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My relationship is on the ropes and I have no clue what to do.
POST: I'm Stan 22 and my girl is Stacy 21. We have been dating for two and a half years.
This is what happened.
I went to go see her while I was in class. She was mad I think cause some girl called me over before I saw her and started talking to her. I sit next to her she's all rude to me. I leave. After class I come meet her. I tell her not to do that again. That she teaches manners to little kids but doesn't have them herself. She gets all mad walks all fast. Takes off the ring and the watch I got her before. Walks with them. Hands me them. I walk with her for longer. She won't talk to me. Then she just like leave me alone. I put the ring and the watch in her purse and she walks into class with them. She closes the door super fast before I can see. I'm lost at what to do. I love her I didn't think a joke or comment like that would really get to her.
TL;DR: | Girl got mad. I told her how rude she was being. She takes off her promise ring and tries to get away from me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Asking my friend to hook it up
POST: Hey reddit so me and my friend were relaxing in our computers class, (in our school they're considered open labs so anyone can walk in to do homework during a class as long as their quiet.)
Anyway were talking and being bored as hell when this pretty cute girl walks in and sits next to me. We three talk a bit and joke around then she leaves and says by guys.
After that I was joking around with my friend because she would make random statements like "I hate notebooks they remind me of highschool". I told him about it and laughed and said he would make fun of her for it. Throught this I figure her name out.
Well I get home and still kinda thinking about her so I wanna see if shes on my friends facebook as a friend so I hit his friends list and what do you know she is the first one that appears and she lives in the same town as me.
So my question is should I ask my friend to help me out, we know each other semi-well. Or should I wait and see if she comes tto our class again to get another oppourtunity.If yes to the first part what would be a tactiful way of saying it to him?
TL;DR: | Girl walks in our class, I find her cute. My friends knows her should I ask him to help me out or should I wait to see if she shows up again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/M] Long distance with "friend" [19/F]
POST: Hi guys, just a quick backstory:
This past weekend, I flew several states over to see my close friend from high school. We've known each other for around 6 years, but we weren't that close until maybe 1.5-2 years ago. During this time, we've hung out a lot when we're at home and are constantly Skyping when we're at college (in different states).
I started to like her, but I feel like she's always treated me as a platonic friend. Last year, she was in kind of an abusive relationship, so I kept my distance. This year, however, I feel like we've definitely gotten to know each other a lot better, so I made a decision to go visit her this weekend.
Over the weekend, we had a ton of fun exploring different places and what not. Due to convenience, I stayed in her room and in her bed since that was the easiest living arrangement for a broke college student. The second night I was there, she started to initiate some cuddling. I happily complied. The next day, even though we had a lot planned, we definitely slept in for a majority of the day just enjoying each other's company and were comfortable just staying in bed cuddling. When we did get up, we did a lot of hand-holding around town.
Unfortunately, I had to go back to school soon after. She didn't want me to leave, and I didn't either. Now, these signs may be 'obvious' that she likes me, but this is the confusing part: now that I'm far away again, I've tried texting her and talking to her, but she seems distance and doesn't seem to have time (although I know she's very busy). It just seems like we're back to the "platonic friendship" part again. Also I'm not sure what the next steps are - I wouldn't mind trying long distance, and I would take every step possible to visit again. I'm just not sure of her intentions and what to do next.
Thanks in advance for the advice! It's greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Friend always viewed our relationship as a platonic one, I went to visit, she initiated cuddling and intimacy, but now she's back to being distant. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is my SO trying to tell me something?
POST: Im a 23 (f). Why would my bf(23) of two years bring this up right after the awesome sex we just had?
"so I didnt want to tell you before because I thought youd get mad but at my last birthday party ( October 2013) my ex came into my room. I was too fucked so I wanted to be on my own for a bit. She came in and lay down on my bed and started massging her boobs saying how much they grew and kept edging towards me. I tried to change the subject onto her family but she kept going with that stuff. "
he later said how he asked his OTHER ex for an opinion on this instead of talking to me and she confirmed that yes she was slutty.
Is this his way of being a complete dick? ? Now from what I understood nothing happened that night ( i was downstaits ffs). Am I being jealous for no reason?
TL;DR: | bf decides to tell me his ex is still hitting on him. Asks other ex for advice. Wtf |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [21M] proposed to me and I [21F] said no. I'm worried he'll want to break up.
POST: Last Friday night my boyfriend invited me to dinner with a bunch of his family members. We've been together since August 2012. We went to a nice restaurant and everything was going fine and until he started giving a speech on how much he loved me, wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, etc. Before I knew it he was on one knee asking me to marry him. I've told him more than once that I never ever ever want to get married. I don't want to be someone's wife and I don't want a husband. Anyway, after he proposed I was in shock for a couple seconds. I didn't say anything for a while, and I didn't mean to but I laughed and straight up said no. I laugh in awkward situations so I made it even weirder. Soon as I said no his face dropped. He left the restaurant for a few minutes (his mother followed him out) while I sat there awkwardly with his family. Thankfully none of them asked me why I didn't say yes. When he came back inside we finished an extremely awkward dinner, my boyfriend and I live together so after we paid we drove back home.
Soon as we got home we got into a fight. He yelled at me and said that I embarrassed him in front of his family and called me selfish. I reminded him I said I never wanna get married but he said he thought it'd be different with him.
He's at his parent's house and has been since Saturday morning. I've tried calling but he's ignoring me. I spoke to his brother this morning and he said my boyfriend was considering a break up and that I should get ready to move out. His whole family pretty much hate me now.
What can I do to convince him to not break up? We've been so happy for so many years and I don't want to lose him over this. We can be together without being married.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend proposed, I said no, he wants to break up but I still very much love him and want to be together. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My town wants me[21/M] to date my coworker[21/F]
POST: I live in a very small town and work in a very public place. We deal with the public day in and day out so pretty much everyone knows me and my coworkers. For some time the majority of my coworkers have been trying to get me to date another employee the same age as me. At the same time some of the same coworkers have been hinting that dating in the workplace is not allowed.
It's gotten to the point that even the public is starting to make comments about it. She and I hang out sometimes after work and have been on several trips to sporting events and such in our free time. Some of our customers have even seen us out and have given us strange looks because they know who we are and where we work.
Should I be concerned that I'm getting all these mixed messages from everyone? They want me to date this girl but I also want to keep my job and would like her to keep hers as well. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Work for public, coworkers and public want me to date girl coworker that's the same age nut don't want to risk losing job. Please help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25m] met a girl [25f] through an online casual encounter website 2 months ago. We hit it off and now I don't know what to tell my friends.
POST: A few months ago I broke up with my gf. Also because I had to move to another city for my new job.
Although I have a few friends in this city, I felt kind of lonely. Well, actually just really horny and I wanted some sex with no strings attached.
I found a website where you can post ads. Although there are a lot of fake people out there, I got quite a few real rersponses as well.
One was a girl who was actually very attractive, and we kind of started talking. She wanted a threesome with her best friend and a random guy (being me).
In the end, none of us really had the guts to go through with it. But we stayed in touch, and kept texting (and sexting).
I got to know her real name, and then I realised I had seen her quite a few times, she lives very close to my office.
Last week we decided to meet up and go out for dinner. I was still a bit nervous, since I only met her through the internet, and she was equally nervous.
But when I saw her standing there, and I realised she was real, I was just astounded by her beauty. I mean, seriously beautiful.
We had a really great night, and she ended up at my place. I've seen her again this week and we are going out tonight and tomorrow night as well.
She's really into me, and I'm into her as well.
But I now I don't know what to tell my friends when they ask me how I met her.
She actually told some of her friends the real story, but I don't know if I want to.
TL;DR: | I met a girl through a casual encounters website, but we hit it off and now I don't know how to tell my friends how I met her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (17m) don't know how to go about telling two girls that I just want to date without being in a serious relationship.
POST: This is going to sound so simple and/or stupid, but this has never happened to me before, so I don't know how to deal with it. I (17m) just got out of my first serious relationship (2 years). It was absolutely horrible, and left me pretty screwed up emotionally. I've been talking to two girls for a while since and have found out that they both would like to go out with me. Neither of them know eachother, and they don't know that I've been talking to other people. I really am not ready for anything like a serious relationship, and I would just like to date for a while and get a bit of my self-worth back. I feel like a jerk for talking to both of them, and I really don't want to hurt their feelings. Can anyone give me advice on how to go about telling them without hurting their feelings in some way?
TL;DR: | Two girls would like to go out with me, I don't know how to go about telling them that I just want to date unexclusively. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I need help with a girl I've known for years...
POST: So I [15/M] have had a crush on a girl that goes to school with me [15/F] for about 3 years. I never worked up the courage to go talk to her in real life, so we started texting each other. For three years we just texted, we talked about school, life and we would tell each other our problems. But in those three years we never talked in real life. Even at school we walk past each other and say "Hey" and any other time she just ignores me, not even looking at me. But when we were texting we talked like best friends. After a while one of my friends had told her that I had a crush on her. She asked me if I did through text and I told her the truth and said, "Yes, I do". But me, being scared that I might ruin what we had, also said "We could just remain friends if you like." (First person in history to friend-zone themselves?). I asked her later what she would say to being asked out. She said, "It would depend on the person", I still don't know if she likes me as something more than a friend yet.
I just need some advice on how to approach her at school and talk to her and what I would say. I haven't done it yet because she is always around her friends and it would be awkward for her and me.
TL;DR: | Crush and I only talk through text, friend-zoned myself out of fear of losing what we had. She knows that I like her; I need advice on approaching her because she is always around her friends... |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you???
POST: I have many, I think i became a cliche throughout middle school and high school, so I will just give 2 to start.
1) 7th grade, wore white jeans (this was back when white jeans were in style (showing my age). You can guess what happened. I started my period. I don't need to go into gross details, but it was only the 3rd class of the day and I had to walk around with a jacket tied to my waist the whole day.
2) Over the years, and looking back, this has become my favorite. I was 13 and in the 9th grade. I was not even interested in sex yet, i was still at the stage where talking out loud about it embarrassed me to holy hell. We had done this "save the swamp" thing as an entire 9th grade class and they were airing it on our local PBS station, late at night. I volunteered to tape it (yes, my age again, VHS tapes). I brought it to my social studies class and we watched it. When it finished and before my teacher could turn it off, it went directly into my fathers porn. I had picked the wrong unlabeled tape! I was mortified and made fun of for months (as they claimed it was my porn). This is well before the internet and porn became so, um, popular with the kids.
TL;DR: | I started wearing white jeans, i taped something for class over dads porn and while viewing it, it went straight to the porn. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: 35lbs down, and having to fight a bit of apathy and discouragement.
POST: I started out at 248 four months ago, and today I weighed in at 213. Lately I've been feeling kind of discouraged, and getting a bit apathetic about working out and eating clean.
Part of it was having the flu for a week (I still haven't totally recovered), which really knocked me off my horse in terms of working out. I still lost weight during it, because I was sick and not eating much, but most of that came right back once I started putting solid food in my mouth again. I'm still having a hard time completing a C25K session because I can't breathe through my nose (I'm supposed to be on W5D1, but I think I'm going to repeat week 4 just to get my stamina back up), and my strength training sessions are harder than they should be. I found myself sitting on the couch last night feeling a bit hopeless. Today, I had my husband take progress pictures for me (I try to take pictures every two or three weeks), and I was comparing them to the ones he took on July 8th. The ones from today didn't look any different, and that was incredibly discouraging. I had hoped to get to 200 by August 8th. I'm leaving that day to go see friends in Boston, and I haven't seen them since this time last year, so I wanted to have hit that milestone and really surprise everyone. I don't think I'll make that.
What kind of helped, though, was looking at my "first" pictures, which I took at 230 lbs in May. I could totally see the differences there, and it made me feel like I'm still accomplishing something, even if that change is so painfully slow that it seems like nothing is happening. I guess we all go through this sometimes, and just have to power through it. I mean, if losing weight was easy, no one would be overweight, right?
TL;DR: | Feeling kind of discouraged after being sick for a while, but looking at my progress pics from a few months ago vs. today really helped put thing in perspective. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Failing at life and starting to losing hope each day.
POST: I've lurked r/offmychest for quite some time and I have to say some of the people here have done great things. However, I do not feel this way. I've actually been feeling pretty shitty:
1) It's been a year since my ex-girlfriend dumped me and I'm still not over it. I've tried reaching out to her and I usually get no response, which just make me feel like more shit. She's definitely moved on with new guys and she's killing life. It's definitely affected how I interact with girls currently.
2) I've had over 40 job interviews with some awesome firms (I'm a finance major in Chicago) and I still can't land a god damn offer. Almost all the firms have not given me feedback. They just give me the same old b/s, it's a competitive process blah blah blah.
3) I'm living at home with parents at the ripe age of 22. It hasn't been the coziest of living situations as my dad and I aren't getting along (mainly due to me not having a job).
I never felt more alone in my life. For the first time in a long time I feel like I completely fucked up. I just feel like banging my head against wall for failing. I know I've had opportunities to change my job and ex-gf situation, but now I am sitting here realizing how hard I failed - at everything. It's the worst feeling in the world and it leaves it you feeling a little lost. I just needed to get it off my chest.
If you had the time to read this and have anything nice or motivating to say that would appreciated. Knowing my luck, I am sure less than two people will read this and one of them will consist of an asshole comment like "you suck". Yes, thank you, I am very well aware.
TL;DR: | I feel like I am huge loser because I'm still hung up on my ex-gf of over a year ago and can't land a job. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Trying to get over the people who are like my ex. [not in a bad way she is awesome]
POST: Me [27 M] with my [23 F]. This is a throw away account. So for the past 6 months I have been struggling with I think the residue of my break up with me ex. For a while I have been a bit more attracted to Asians than regular girls. My past relationship I had a wonderful 2 and a half year relationship with this one girl, who is from China. We met when she first came to my campus and I helped her way around. It was wonderful and she is the most kindest, beautiful, and compassionate girl I have ever been with. It was so great having someone I cared and loved for also reciprocate that affection, and also go out of her way to show her love and care for me. I did everything I could to make her happy and give her as much emotional support that I was able to. I love her so much and still do. My problem is after our break up. I think psychologically I have been severely affected in how I see other Asian women. This is not in the negative affect either. It would be easier if it was. Everytime I see an Asian girl my attraction to her is multiplied to several levels than it usually is, to the point it is almost painful if she is involved with another lover. This has never happened before. Normally, I do prefer Asian girls more than any other types but this was different. It has come to the point where if I see an Asian woman on TV it would mess me up. I know this is dumb and stupid, but it is how I feel and I want it to stop. I want to be normal and feel attracted to a girl based on her personality. I feel like I am so enthralled by Asian women that it has caused a negative influential impact in my dating life. Please, any advice and consideration is very appreciated . I just want to feel normal around any girl I interact with, no matter if they are Asian or not.
TL;DR: | GF broke up with me and now I have this psychological fetish for Asians that is really starting to compromise how I see women. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Lucid Dreamers and Sleep Paralysis Victims: Experiences.
POST: For a year I've messed around with lucid dreaming for about a year and last night I had my first experience with sleep paralysis; the paralysis was terrifying.
The Event: I awake in the middle of the night like I usually do after a lucid dream. I am on my back and I go to roll over when I realize I am unable. My eyes are open, it is still dark out, and I am fully aware of my surroundings. (I am in no pain) I'm well read on lucid dreaming and I realize that I am experiencing sleep paralysis and that it is totally normal and I will sooner or later regain full mobility. As I'm still trying to *fully* comprehend what is happening, my mind decides to take a trip to a dark place, and I begin to recall all of the stories people have told about seeing a dark apparition while stuck in this state. As usual in the dream world, "If you can think it you can dream it," and sure enough billows of black smoke began to collect from all sides of my bedroom to the center forming an old woman like figure. The woman was very old, witch like, and was solid black. I knew all of this wasn't real, but it was still pretty intense. So I did what most dreamers say you should do during your first time, close your eyes, and so I closed them. While my eyes are closed I can feel her presence over me, she begins to chant and this old timey horror/vaudville-esk music begins to play and I am simply horrified. Then I begin to have an out of body experience and I *will* myself out my window and I float up and up and up until I slip back into dream space and all of this is happening while this woman totures me. Unfortunately the nightmares don't end here. I began to dream I was stuck in dream paralysis; for a while, like an hour or two. I have not read anything on being stuck in a paralytic dream state/lucid dream for hours, but it felt very real.I am still not sure whether or not I was dreaming of paralysis or I was actually stuck like that for hours. I eventually awoke at 7:34 AM and I was thankful it was over.
TL;DR: | Slipped into paralytic dream state, a old woman played vaudville music while she totured me with chanting, then fell back asleep to have a nightmare about being stuck in a sleep paralysis. Thanks for reading. |
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