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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [15 M] with my girlfriend [15 F] recent, family troubles
POST: So I've known this girl for 2 years now, met her back in Middle School. Recently, we've been getting into some what of a serious romantic relationship. She came from a family that were both drug addicts, but she doesn't have troubles with it her self. Though, her dad has been involved in some heavy things, and also I was aware he has done things that she has not forgotten about. This guy has 2 tear tattoos, if you know what that means, the guy is serious. Anyways, I've had my share of introducing myself to family, making good impressions. She was brought into another family when she was in 7th grade, and I made great impressions on all of them with them liking me into their family and has since stayed with them. Though she still has contact with her family, who I still have never met except her siblings (which also like me). My question is to those of Reddit, this guy isn't the average Joe. He's scared away a few people before, but I'm sure as hell not going to be scared from it. Can I get some help, making sure I don't mess this one impression up. Her dad seems to be a tough guy, just want to know if there are anything I should take cautiously. Thanks
TL;DR: | Girl I have known for 2 years, getting into a relationship. Her dad is a tough guy with a drug / violent past, how to make a reasonable good impression. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my ex [24 M] 2 years, broke up a month ago, issues with my own vulnerability
POST: Basically I'm just wondering if anyone has any suggestions for how to reconcile a breakup with extreme vulnerability during the relationship. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago for a lot of reasons... mainly, though, my personal life was up in flames. Without giving too many details, I was a pretty unhappy person for the last year of our relationship. And I thought he was going to be forever. So I stayed with him during that, and let him know what was happening.
I've had a really hard time being vulnerable with men in my life, and I made a genuine effort with him to try and let him in to what was happening with me, including deep seated insecurities that I have, a lot of family issues, and my own issues with self-loathing, harm, etc.
Now I feel really... ashamed, maybe? that he knows those things about me. Especially since he's the one who ended it. He says he still loves me but can't handle the drama any more. I get it, but he's the one who pushed me to open up. Now I have and I'm left... like this. Feeling even more insecure, sad about a breakup, embarrassed about what he knows about me. Like I can't face him again, like I'm this disaster of a person and like if open up to anyone, they're going to get overwhelmed by everything.
Thanks, friends.
TL;DR: | Make effort to be vulnerable with boyfriend, boyfriend breaks up with me, now feel ashamed and sad of that vulnerability, don't know how to deal with it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: So... me(21/m) and my married but almost divorced friend(f/24) had sex at a party. I don't know what to do?
POST: So I've known her for about 3 or 4 months and In the last 2 found out she was getting a divorce we have hung out several times in a group. I kind of got the feeling she was interested in me but never really acted on it.
last saturday night my best friend threw a party and she happend to show up so we talk for awhile we're both decently intoxicated and end up falling asleep on the couch I wake up 30 minutes later and asked if she wanted to go to bed she said yes so we walked up stairs I'm not thinking about trying anything with her until she sticks her ass right on my dick so I said fuck it and roll her over and presume to make out with her. Then she asks me if I really want to do this I said "why hell yeah" and she takes my virginity
while doing the deed she says "I told my self I wouldn't do this until I wasn't married" I knew she was getting a divorce but I thought it had already went though so this kinda startled me. One thing I forgot to mention was that she's my best friends girl friends roommate so I still see her often
I've some what developed feelings for her and I don't really know what to do a out it she's an awesome girl I really don't want a relationship with her but I do at the same time if you know what I mean?
She doesn't hardly text me back either when I text her now so really don't know what to do any advice?
TL;DR: | she took my virginity but she's just now getting out of a marriage and I have feeling for her what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it ok not to tell a prospective employer what I'm currently making?
POST: I may be looking for a new job if I don't get a raise I'm asking for. For what I do, I'm underpaid about 20-30k a year currently. The reason I haven't already left is because I absolutely love where I work. I'm going to ask them for a moderate raise at the end of the year and if I don't get it, I'll probably start looking. My question is, when a prospective employer asks how much I currently make, I feel like telling them would give them a big edge in negotiating a salary. Simply because they'd think, well he only makes this, let's just offer this. Is it acceptable to say I'm not comfortable sharing that? I don't want to lie and say I'm making more than I currently am. Thoughts?
A side note, I know for a fact I could move 200 miles to the east and make roughly 20-30k more because I've been offered two jobs in that area over the past two years for that amount. The cost of living is actually less there so that isn't a factor.
TL;DR: | I'm underpaid right now and don't want to tell a future employer what I'm making now for negotiation purposes. Is that ok? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my friends [various ages M/F] I need help making active friends and/or convincing my friends to be active
POST: So basically I am a pretty active person. I like climbing, skiing, hiking etc. I had buddies during college to do these things with but in the 2 years that I have been out of college seems like all the friends I already had in the city (Boston) and new ones I have made end up being the 'i like to relax at home and watch netflix' types. Like they will ask me to meetup for a movie or food but will always say not interested when I try to plan a more active acitvity. I totally don't get this cause everyone in Boston seems so active (people running around at 11pm on Saturday during Freezing weather, not exaggerating) except the people I know. I am getting especially frustrated right now because I can't convince my friends to go skiing with me (only made it up to the slopes three times so far this year :( ). Yes, I know there are meetups and I have been to some and while the people in meetups are generally friendly (and have common interest) it's not ths same as having 'close friends who want to go skiing'. Any advise? Thanks!
TL;DR: | None of my friends in the city want to go skiing, while meetups are nice it's not the same as going with close friends |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Stepfather has dementia, absent Stepbrother shows up, wants power of attorney to get money/our house
POST: I (F, 23) live in California. My mother's husband, my stepfather since I was 3 years old, has Parkinson's Plus, and subsequently has dementia now, with full paranoid episodes. His son (my MUCH older stepbrother) and his other daughter from a previous marriage have resented myself and my mom throughout this marriage because my stepfather walked out on his mom and was never present in his childhood, whereas he was been very involved and a great father to me. The daughter came to our house once and was yelling racial slurs at my mother, and she was escorted off our property by police. Lots of jealousy issues, both of these stepsiblings have a history with addiction). Once my stepdad had a stroke and was diagnosed with Parkinsons, Stepbrother started coming around, making excuses to come to our house- I assume to see what is in it. Recently the dementia has really gotten bad, my stepdad accuses his full-time care facility of spying on him, tapping his phone, and he leaves me disturbing voicemails about paranoid delusions (all of which I've kept) where he claims he can't trust anyone including my mom bc she put him in the facility (she visits him every other day and is very involved with his doctors and the staff).
Stepbrother has been visiting him in facility, entertaining ideas of changing my stepdad's will. Today, stepbrother took signed him out of the facility for a few hours and my stepdad returned claiming that he signed over power of attorney to stepbrother who is going to "rescue him" from the facility and move him to a different facility hours away closer to Stepbrother. Stepbrother wants to force the sale (using his power of attorney) of the house I grew up in to get a cut of the money I believe. My mom called my stepdad earlier and he says he can't remember if he signed over his powers today. He just doesn't remember, and seems like he doesn't know what she is talking about. So, at the moment, we don't know if this has happened or not.
TL;DR: | stepfather who raised me since I was a toddler now has dementia, stepbrother who was absent until this illness is trying to coerce him to change will/sell my house. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Reddit, my girlfriend frequently speaks or texts in passive-agressive or sarcastic tones, and it's causing huge problems in our relationship. M[mid 30's], F[mid 20's].
POST: Apologies for the wall of text in advance.
So we have been together for a year and a half, roughly, and moved in together a few months ago. I have a tween daughter from a previous relationship.
My daughter can be manipulative and selfish, and this behavior drives my girlfriend nuts. She has talked to my daughter about it, but sometimes when she talks to her about it she uses sarcasm or passive aggressive tones, and twice now, my ex has called me to tell me that if my girlfriend does not stop talking that way to my daughter, that she will involve the court.
I don't approve of the passive-aggressive tones, directed at me or my daughter, and have talked to my girlfriend about it, but tonight apparently was the last straw, and she has decided that she wants nothing to do with my daughter at all.
My daughter lives with me half time, and so that basically means that my girlfriend and I will no longer be together.
I want to make it clear that I am willing to back up my girlfriend in calling my daughter on her bad behavior, and I have no problem with her calling her on it. I just want her to modify the way she talks to her about it, and not use passive-aggressive tones when she does so.
Also, I want to make it clear that I do not give my daughter a hall pass for her bad behavior, and I don't think that her behavior was correct or good, and I did address it with her when the incident that spawned all this happened today.
This is tearing me up, quite a bit, and I was wondering if anyone had any advice.
i'm open to any and all questions, and will try to answer any that get asked in a timely fashion.
TL;DR: | girlfriend was passive-aggressive to my daughter, my ex called, things got ugly and girlfriend is saying she doesn't want to be in this situation anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19/m] Stopped talking to this girl [19/f] about a year ago. We started texting again tonight and she said a few odd things.
POST: So a year or so ago I started talking to this girl. We'd go out every week have coffee, dinner, see a movie you name it. But we never put a boyfriend/girlfriend stamp on it even though we both acknowledged that we liked each other like that.
So after this dragged on for about 5 months I sat her down and basically just asked her if we were dating or not. She swore up and down that she liked me, told me everything she liked about me. Hell, she told her friends that she did. She said she was worried about making time for me between school and work which I understood (She got out at 3 and worked almost daily until 8-9)
After that things fizzled out. We stopped talking. For 14 months. Until today. I realized I had something of hers in my car so I text her and tell her I have this thing and she tells me it's not a big deal. But she also tells me that she's really glad I texted her and that she missed me.
We talked about school next year and she reiterated over and over again how I should move in with her. (She also lives with her sister and even asked how much rent would be for me just in case I decide to. (She also said her sister was ecstatic. Her sister really likes me)
So I guess my real question is, what's up with her? I really don't get it. I wouldn't mind getting back together because shes's a wonderful girl but I can't put my finger on what tonight was all about.
TL;DR: | Girl I used to kind of see and then didn't talk to for 14 months wants me to move into her apartment for college next year. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by punching a hole in the wall
POST: so, TIFU by practicing yoga headstands too close to the wall...
I've been practicing yoga seriously for the past few months now. I always thought I was just tall, lanky and clumsy (although this story really proves my awkwardness) However, recently, I've been getting a lot stronger and I'm able to get over my fear of inversions. So, I began practicing handstands against the wall, scorpion pose with wall support, and supported headstands with straight, butterfly, and lotus legs, etc...
I started feeling confident in how I was able to balance and firmly hold these inversions. So, I backed away from the wall and tried a headstand without any support. My headstands were looking great for the couple times I tried, and I was even able to hold it for quite some time. However, being the overachiever that I am, it wasn't good enough--I wanted to keep trying until I was able to hold the poses with smooth, strong transitions.
So, I dropped my hips and arched my back more to pull my legs directly atop my upper body. I was holding the pose for a few seconds and then realized I was going to fall out of the pose--but backwards. I panicked in my mind because I'm thinking--"oh HELL no", but I thought I could do a little forward roll out of the pose.
Here's where the awkward, tall part comes in: I didn't judge my closeness to the wall, and I forward rolled--no, SMACKED, my legs and body into my bedroom wall in my apartment. I was disoriented momentarily and I clutched my left butt cheek, cursing to myself. I looked at the wall-- a hole the size of my butt cheek is now imprinted in the drywall. I thought that at the time it was my foot or knee that caused the damage, but it was my fucking ass.
The worst, or best, part? I got this whole thing on video.
I also have a huge bruise on my butt cheek.
and... Anyone know how to fix a hole? Now my cat keeps trying to stick his head in the wall.
TL;DR: | Practicing yoga headstands too close to the wall and punched a huge hole in the drywall with my ass... and I got it all on video. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (21m) girlfriend (20f) of 2 years is longer down for physical activity, and it bothers me :/
POST: I know its bad for being kinda salty about the fact that my girlfriend no longer wants to have sex with me. For the 2 years and a bit that we have been together, at the beginning it was always happening. Then now she all of a sudden she just cut physical activity entirely, closest i get it just a makeout session. Like im madly in love with this girl, and i wanna really show it to her. I literally give her all my free time, and i try to keep her company as much as i possibly can. Also, its not even the whole no physical activity thing is bothering me. Even when we did do it, id be able to get her off.. then after she would just lay there, and tell me to just stroke myself until i climax. Idk, im sorry this is terribly written. I just feel stupid as i type this out. Sorry... i guess, i know i sound like a pig.. and i get it, its her body so she should do what she wants to do... idk
TL;DR: | Me and Girlfriend used to have sex alot, now all of a sudden we don't really touch each other. It bothers me :/ |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my GF [23 F] 6 months, GF deletes texts but saw some missed calls from an ex that she denies as an ex
POST: So her brother told me that she dated this guy. I had a suspicion before, and when I saw him race through her Instagram liking everything, I said "So I see your ex, John, is back," as she told me she dated someone with that name. She said (with sass) "I dated a Jon, not a John!" (actual name different, but similar story).
She deletes her texts everyday. However, I ordered pizza a couple weeks ago on her phone, and saw 3 calls between them in the call history, when I was away on holidays. 2 were missed calls from him, and 1 was outgoing from her to him, 45 seconds long.
I don't know what to say, I've already brought it up and she denied they dated. The brother could be wrong, although unlikely.
They snapchat when I'm not around. He followed on Instagram, she didn't follow back, likely because I may see it on my feed if she followed someone. They've been friends on Facebook since 2007 or something. Likely high school friends, but none of her current friends are mutual friends, so I don't know anyone else who knows him.
I have seen a couple texts on her phone back when they just started talking 3 months ago, when she forgot to delete everything, he's basically guilting her into meeting up for coffee because he needs an ear.
TL;DR: | GF deletes texts, misses phone calls from a guy who may be her ex, but I can't be positive. How should I approach her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19M) am developing feelings for someone who I've been seeing. How can I tell him (24M) how I feel, without making him feel uncomfortable?
POST: To make a long story short, I have been dating this fellow for almost 5 months. Despite this, he wants me to consider others, and make sure that I want him. The problem, is that I can't quite figure out how to tell him that I want to take things further with him.
I can understand his apprehension with me. His last relationship of 3 years ended when his 21 year old boyfriend decided that he wanted to abandon the relationship and go have the 'college life'. He and I have had a few conversations where he has told me that he is afraid that in two or three years, I will do the same thing that his ex did.
How can I tell him that I want to be with him, and only him, without making him feel uncomfortable?
[b]
TL;DR: | I want to take our relationship further, but he has doubts. How can I reassure and tell him how I feel?[/b] |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My [23m] best friend [23m] is financially better off than I am. He got me a few Christmas presents and they all turned out to be crap quality. I've been saving up to buy him one or two very nice but expensive gifts. Now I'm not sure if I want to.
POST: My best friend is pretty damn well off. He's not a millionaire by any means, but he can hold his own better than most people our age. Over the years he and I really got into fashion and the idea of buying pricy items that would look better and last longer than an average counterpart.
For the last two months or so, I've been saving up to buy my best friend a really nice pair of boots and a really nice watch. I didn't get him anything for Christmas or his birthday, which, to his insistence, wasn't a big deal. However, he got me three Christmas presents, but they all broke/ripped within two weeks of regular wear. I looked up the brand names and they were from companies that used cheap/fake materials.
Now I'm not sure if I want to spend the >$500 I've been saving up for him. On one hand, it shouldn't matter: he's my best friend. He deserves the best things in life.
On the other hand, I would feel pretty stupid forking over hundreds of dollars for presents to my best friend who got me crappy gifts. I could buy him lesser-grade items, but that would be a waste of money on my part -- buying cheap stuff that will wear out within a year isn't my style. I would rather buy something pricy and never replace it than spend money on buying the same cheap piece over and over again.
What would you do?
TL;DR: | my best bud got me Christmas presents that fell apart after two weeks. I've been saving up to buy him nice but expensive gifts for his Christmas and birthday presents, but now I'm reluctant to spend the money. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: Tifu by putting gloves in my pockets.
POST: I went out on the boat today to go for a dive and had these new gloves that I had just purchased and was going to test. I was getting all my stuff ready and the water got really choppy so I stuffed my new Dive Master gloves into the pocket of my BC. Get to the reef and hop in the water completely forgetting about gloves. I thought I left them on the bench on the boat so I holler at the Captain to toss them down and of course he says they're not there. I say oh well and go on my dive. Great dive, lots of pictures, plenty of air left, everything went great. Get back on the boat and that Captain says. "After you went down I saw your gloves float off. They're probably about half a mile west by now." Luckily they weren't expensive and I bought a new pair upon returning to the shop.
TL;DR: | Testing out new pair of SCUBA gloves. Forgot I put them in my BC pocket. They're now in Cuba. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22M] have been spending a lot of time with my friend [21F], and I'm not sure her boyfriend knows.
POST: We met about 3 weeks ago, but we share the same group of friends (I lived out of state for about 2 years, during which time she moved to my hometown). I think since we've met, she and I have hung out about 8 times, mostly hanging out at the beach and watching the sunset.
Here's the thing though. Even though it's been completely platonic, I can't imagine her boyfriend signing off on his girlfriend spending so much time with a fairly attractive (if you'll allow me to be a bit conceited) single guy. This leads me to believe that she just hasn't told him.
I'm hesitant to bring this up with her because I don't want to ruin a good thing, we actually have a lot of fun and I don't feel any sexual tension. (Ok...maybe just a little bit. But I'm no homewrecker.)
Reddit, what do I do?
TL;DR: | Been hanging with an awesome girl a lot recently, I don't think her boyfriend knows how much time we spend together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU- Walked into work saying I was stiff.
POST: So last night i was re-doing my First aid course as it has to be refreshed every 3 years in the UK to remain valid.
Anyway this morning I woke up aching all over. So i got into work, as i actually entered the office i was instantly asked how i was, as is the same every morning. My reply was 'not great, i'm really stiff from giving CPR'. The look i got from my boss was one i don't really want to see again, i got a load of disgusted looks from everyone, none more so than our client who i hadn't realised was there... Yes they had thought i had actually given a techinically dead man cpr and had gotten an erection from it... I hadn't told them i was re-taking my first aid course... It was clearly early but even so they looked mortified...
I managed to explain and got myself out the hole and they apologised for not understanding. Now my office is usually inappropriate to say the least. It's great to work in and the banter is always flowing... But the rest of today I have been called a necrophiliac in numerous different ways. One example was they changed my desktop background to a graveyard with a male pornstar standing in the corner with his rod out....
TL;DR: | Had first aid course, went to work stiff from using muscles, told my office i was stiff from cpr, now im a necrophiliac |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: I keep getting calls from what I assume to be various collectors asking if they could speak to some lady that I don't know. No matter how many times I tell these people that she doesn't own this phone number anymore, they all keep calling back. What's the best way to stop this?
POST: For months I've been getting these calls on my cellphone from people (probably collectors) asking if they could speak with some lady that I don't know. Even if it's not the girl, it's still the same last name every time. No matter how many times I tell them that she or he doesn't own this phone number anymore, they say that they'll "update the information" but they all still keep calling back every other week.
I don't want to offend anyone, but I've noticed that every time it's someone with an Indian accent. There seems to be several different numbers calling but sometimes it's a number that has called before. To be honest though, I don't know whether it *is* the same people calling or if it's from different companies or something. The fact that every time without fail it's someone with that accent, it just adds to my confusion about what's going on. Regardless, I'm losing my patience and lately it's been hard to keep my cool whenever they call.
So I registered my cellphone number at a website called "donotcall.gov" since my friend recommended it. I'm not completely sure what it does exactly, but he said that the callers could get fined for calling that number while it's registered on that list. However today I got yet another call from a person with an Indian accent, asking for this lady like always. I did my best to calmly tell him that she doesn't own the phone number anymore, and that he could get fined since I registered on the donotcall.gov site. He said something I didn't hear and hung up.
However to me it feels like these calls won't stop even if I am registered on that site. I'm unemployed and have been waiting for a call from the job I applied to, so that and the depression I've been having lately adds to my frustration when I find out it's the collectors again.
TL;DR: | What's the best way to stop these annoying calls from the collectors? Do I have to get a new number or is there a simpler way to do it that doesn't require a number change? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my GF [28 F] of 5 months, admitted to sleeping with others while falling in love with me when we were dating. Need help getting over it
POST: Met my gf in September and started dating then. We fell in love fast and became exclusive in October. It's been the best thing that ever happened to either of us and we made plans to move in together.
Fast forward to recently when she confessed two things to me. It came up that she had gone on a date with someone else in between our dates, and in her words, since she knew she didn't like him, she had sex with him after the date and then cut ties.
Then, after our next date, when we had sex and really hit it off, she had drunk sex after a party with a different guy, and consequently me again, a few days later after another date. We became exclusive a couple weeks later.
The issue is that I know what she did isn't wrong. I've told her that and we've talked through the issue. The reason I'm posting here and hoping for some advice is that I'm struggling with forgetting about it, or being okay with it, and I know that's not how this should work.
We've seen this relationship as some sort of fairy tale and now the beginning of it feels tainted to me. I feel like an idiot because it felt special then, and now I just feel like I was just one of the handful of dudes getting some that week.
She's told me it was meaningless, and I can see that she really regrets it with the other dudes. I just don't know how to not think about it and not let it ruin those memories for me. I just feel like at this point it is on me to get over it, she can't change the past even though she wants to, and she didn't do anything wrong.
I'm just hurt and I don't know how to deal with it and move on. Any advice?
TL;DR: | Gf was hooking up with others when we started dating and I know I need to get over it, just now sure how to do that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I get through community college and deal with the stereotypes surrounding it?
POST: In the fall of 2012 I will start to attend a local community college in order to transfer to a 4 year university. My family fell on hard times the last 9 years with my father using my brother's and mine college savings to fight a lengthy court battle. Now we have just about nothing left saved for college and the best we can all do is manage to get $30,000 for my 4 year after I transfer.
The problem lately I am having is since my high school is in a rather affluent area many of my peers are going to Universities that I can only dream of paying for, and when I tell them I am going to a CC they either tell me: You just need to find scholarships or There is financial aid available. I can't explain the lengthy court battle (It involves some very personal family issues and it is quite socially unacceptable to whip that out in conversation) and neither can I explain that since my family's income bracket is high that I can't obtain financial aid.
The problem I am having is I am getting the impression that people are looking down on me (snide remarks are becoming more common day by day) simply because they feel like I'm being lazy in looking for money (Have a full-time job at the moment in order to pay for CC myself while my parents save for 4 year fund) or I am so stupid that I can't go to one of the 4 years in my state. I don't know how to deal with it and every time I see one of my friends update their status with 'Blah blah updated his education to University of Blah 2016' I feel jealous and I don't know how to get through this.
TL;DR: | Cannot afford to go 4 year University right out of high school, going to Community college, feeling jealous of peers who get to and don't know how to deal with remarks about going to Community college |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What is the most non-creepy way that I (24M) can get out of the friend-zone with my coworker and good friend. (22f)
POST: 24 year old male who is majorly stuck in the friendzone with my 22 year old female coworker and good friend. Let me say that this girl is my absolute perfection. She is beautiful and poised, classy and well-spoken. She's incredibly intelligent, one of the smartest women I have ever met, and in general my overall dream girl.
We work about 8 hours a day together in close quarters and spend a good amount of time outside of work together, going out to drinks with the other coworkers, she comes to my intramural soccer games, we go on nightly walks to the dog park. She's been a support to me and has made me less shy and a better man. We have a fantastic friendship. She's a dear friend but I like her a lot and I'm tired of just being friends. She's kept the boundaries pretty clear but there is definitely mutual chemistry that I want to explore. The problem here is that we spend so much time together and have an intimate enough friendship, if I just straight up asked her out I think she'd be creeped out by it and would probably feel like I'm taking advantage of our friendship to get into her pants. I genuinely like spending time with her and in no way am I just trying to get my dick wet or am I looking for some sort of quick relationship. I need a way to transition from the intimate friendship we have to situation where I can ask her out without her feeling like I violated our friendship or am using it to catapult myself out of the friendzone. Also, our company does not have a policy against dating other employees.
TL;DR: | I want to be able to ask out my best friend without her feeling like I'm using our friendship to get in her pants. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Young boyfriends of Reddit. I need your guys opinion/feedback please!
POST: Pretty long, but please.
I've been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half now. We are both +15 and get along very well with each other.
Unfortunately, I introduced her to a rock band in the beginning of the year. Now I seem to find her obssesed with them.
After a week, she "loved" them, she posted FaceBook statuses about it, she even bought a concert ticket which was the following month.
Even worse, she now "loves" the lead singer. She tells everyone how she's his "boyfriend/baby." It's been two months since she has known the band.
She actually jumped on stage and kissed the singer (YouTube video, I saw it). She actually has his name always written on her wrist or finger. She actually bought an autographed photo on eBay along with a shirt of the singer. She actually obssesively loves him.
Now I find this very bothering.
When we hang out in lunch, and I see that she has his name on her ripped knee jeans, it changes. My mood, my feelings, my thoughts.
I don't find myself to be the jealous type... but I could be wrong. People in fact tell me, "She is obssesed dude!" "She is all up on his sack bro." "Does she even love you?"
Now statuses about him: "I love ______ so much!!! <3 :D"
In addition, she has a cover photo of him on FaceBook; instead of a photo of us.
The reason that I said "Young boyfriends" is because I do not feel that older boyfriends go through this. They are mature.
Along with, Justin Bieber....Disney boy bands, it obviously attracts young girls; and young girls have boyfriends.
Please, if you can..... what should I say? How should I handle it? Should I ignore it? Should I forbid her to say anything about him? Or should I just let her be that wild teenage girl in love with musicians. Please.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend's in madly love with a band's singer. IN LOVE. It bothers and annoys me. I want feedback and opinions. I beg of you Redditors. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (17M) need tips on comforting SO (16F) that everything in our relationship is okay
POST: My girlfriend and I have had our rough patches lately. We just went through our 5 month "anniversary" and are very happy with each other. The issues in our relationship stem from our personal issues with our families, regarding every day familial issues. She seems to be getting worried that our relationship won't be "fun" if we keep having personal issues. We both always help each other out through these personal problems, and love each other very much. I was hoping that the Redditers of /r/relationships could help me find what to say and how to tell her, that everything is truly okay, and that things will only get better.
TL;DR: | my gf is worried relationship is not fun and being bogged down by our own personal issues. need help comforting her and telling her that it's really not the case. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M/F] with my girlfriend [20 M/F] of 2 years, did I cheat and should I tell her?
POST: My girlfriend of two years has serious anger problems and everytime her mum or I make her upset she becomes an extremist.
I got mad at her for going to a strip club (female) and lying about it. She said she was going to a movie with her friend and I thought that was cool. I had to find out later and turns out she also let the strippers touch her (motorboat/69). I found it disrespectful and I consider it cheating...
(I had previously told her I'm not comfortable with her going to those kinds of places so that's why she lied. She told me, "I knew you'd get mad but I wanted to go.")
So her mum lectures her about literally everything she does and when I got upset over this she snapped and said she is done with me along with other hurtful things. Since we were not together anymore I had sex with one of my friends but now she wants to get back together... I love her so I don't want to say no but I also really want advice on if I cheated and if I should tell her about it because I think it's going to be in my mind for as long as we stay together.
If I need to put more information just let me know please. All advices wanted.
TL;DR: | GF breaks up with me, I have sex with a friend, we get back together. Did I cheat, Do I tell her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 F] don't have anything in common with my friend [24 M] and I don't want to be friends anymore...what do I do?
POST: So I've known this guy for 4 years now....we were friends but I always kinda knew and he always kinda let on that he had a crush on me. But I was (and still am) in a long-term relationship. He respected that except for the occasional comment here and there that I mostly took as a joke. I never joked back or led on that I felt the same way (because I didn't) and thought, probably stupidly, that it would just fizzle out and that it wasn't a big deal.
Anyway so our friendship has become more awkward because he has become close to someone in my life (they ended up meeting each other, just a coincidence through a job) and this person has told me that he talks about me all the time and is waiting for me and my bf to break up so he can make a move, etc. This made me very uncomfortable and aside from the fact that we have completely opposite beliefs and morals (his totally piss me off) and he's just kind of obnoxious in general, I just had no interest in having him in my life. I feel like an asshole saying this but he's not affecting my life in any way except by being kind of annoying and I'm not affecting his life in any way either...I feel like if we're not doing anything for each other then why still be friends? We haven't hung out in at least 2 years, I can't even remember the last time we saw each other because we've both been so busy. And I don't even know what we'd do if we did hang out. Even our phone convos are super lame bc we have nothing to talk about!
But now when he calls I don't know what to do. I don't care to talk to him, and I don't want to pretend to be his friend....and I don't want to ignore him because I hate when people do that to me. I just don't know what to say to not be an asshole.
TL;DR: | A guy I've known for 4 years and who kind of crushes on me (I'm taken) is annoying and I don't want to be friends anymore...how can I let him down gently? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My friend is in a jam, do any of you have advice on renting/guarantors?
POST: Ok Reddit. The story in short is this; My friend is a single mother who has just got out of a pretty shitty relationship. She's 23, has moved back in with her retired grandparents for the time being while she sorts herself out.
The situation isn't ideal as it's a small house and there's no room, and she needs to move out ASAP. Now, she found a lovely little house that would be perfect for her and her daughter, but the renters, understandably, want a guarantor for the first 6 months of rent, should she be unable to pay. The thing is that she works part time, as well as getting benefits, and she knows that she earns enough to pay the rent, but they won't accept this, obviously.
The problem being that the guarantor needs to earn over a certain amount per year, with evidence of this, to be able to be guarantor. Now, the problem here is that my friend's parents have died, and her grandparents are retired, so have no income bar their pensions. None of us, her friends, earn the threshold as we're all pretty young (20-24) so we aren't able to sign it.
I think these are the full circumstances. Please throw me your ideas if you can think of anything, I hate seeing her so down and helpless and want to do anything I can.
Oh we're from England, by the way.
TL;DR: | Friend has no one that can sign the guarantor for a house, even though she can afford the rent so she's not allowed to rent the house. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My high school chemistry professor had his finger prints burned off because a girl was afraid to admit she'd been boiling water. In what ways has reddit been screwed over by people being monumentally stupid?
POST: Okay so here's the whole story: My old chemistry teacher, Mr. B, used to teach a special chemistry class for low achieving students. I'm not clear on all the details, but basically it was a dumbed down curriculum for kids who just couldn't handle regular high school chemistry. So one day the class is in the lab and they're doing some sort of experiment that involves boiling water. One girl manages to knock over her flask which falls onto the floor and shatters. Mr. B goes over to clean things up. Before reaching down to start picking up the glass, he asks the girl, "Were you boiling water?"
"No," replies the girl fearfully.
"Are you absolutely sure that you were not boiling water? Asks Mr. B again, very seriously. "I need to know if you were boiling water in that flask."
"I wasn't boiling water, I promise," replies the girl.
"Ok," and with that assurance, Mr. B reaches down to pick up a piece of the broken flask and is severely burned by the boiling hot glass. Apparently the girl was afraid that she would somehow be in trouble if she admitted to boiling water and so lied about it. The thing is, the class was *supposed* to be boiling water, so there is no reason why she should have been afraid to admit it.
In the end, not only did it hurt horribly, but this got rid of Mr. B's finger prints for a number of years. This in turn made it hard for him to get a new job, since his prospective employers thought he must be some kind of criminal.
And just to clarify, at least when I knew him, Mr. B was not the type of teacher to fly off the handle, or to unreasonably punish people.
TL;DR: | Stupid girl caused chemistry teacher excruciating pain and trouble finding work because she was afraid she would get in trouble for not really doing anything wrong. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend misses being with new women.
POST: My boyfriend (22, M) and I (23, F) have been together for 1.5 years. Recently, he approached me about missing the chase and act of sleeping with new women. I can see where he's coming from, since we are young. He told me that he loves me and that he feels like an ass because the whole thing seems absurd even to him.
We had talked previously about threesomes, but I had some misgivings and we never went forward with it. He's quite a bit more sexually experienced than I am; I have never really had casual sex and the idea doesn't appeal to me. I just have a hard time being physically attracted to people that I don't love.
Anyway, I feel as if I may be responding in an incredibly naive fashion, but I want to be with him, so we decided after some discussion that we would try threesomes in order to satisfy his desires while maintaining the relationship. A couple of days ago, we met this girl for dinner and talked with her for a few hours. We then proceeded to mess around, without things moving to intercourse. All in all, it went pretty well and I enjoyed myself, despite how awkward it was to begin with. He had an incredibly good time.
I guess the main problem I'm having is that I'd like to know from him that this relationship really has a chance. That when he moves forward in life, I can move forward with him. I'd rather not have to attempt what may be emotionally challenging for me (watching him have sex with other women), if he already knows he can't see being with me long-term. He did say that he wishes we could have met ten years later than we did.
Also, we have a pretty good sex life otherwise; is it reasonable of me to want to limit our third person encounters to once a month or so?
Over all, am I being ridiculous? I think I just need some perspective. How do I approach this all in the sanest way possible?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend feels need to have sex with many women. We've decided to try threesomes. Is it crazy of me to want to set frequency limitations and get real answers about future of relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: HELP! Trying to get on a connecting flight mid way through trip.
POST: I recently bought my sister a ticket to San Francisco from Toronto and LA this month. The itinerary looks like this :
**YYZ > JFK > SFO** then **SFO > LAX > YYZ**
I booked this before figuring out that she really wanted to see LA. I booked all of us Virgin Air flights to LA thinking what the hell, she connects in LA anyway.
Just to make sure I called American Airlines to double check it's cool that she miss the SFO > LAX flight and just hop on her LAX > YYZ flight home. Hell, maybe they could fill that seat with someone else. That's when I am told that there is NO WAY that they would let her on the flight in LAX as it would be considered canceled when she no shows at SFO, even thought I am on the phone telling them she is already here. The only option is to change the flight for one low cost of **1200 dollars plus a 200 dollars change fee, this is TWICE the cost of the entire return trip**. At least they were nice and offered me the option of booking her a $300 additional flight to take a red eye home tonight from LA to SF just so she could catch her SF to LA.
If it were just me I would show up early and demand I get on the plane but I can't expect my sister to do that. I just bought a whole new ticket on US Airways and I cannot believe how ridiculous this is. Does any one have any idea of what I can do / could have done?
TL;DR: | It supposedly costs $1400 give a seat back to the airlines and take the second half of your connecting flight. I needed to book an entire new trip home on a different airline because we didn't need part of a flight. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my BF [26 M] of 8 months, his female friends hate me and I honestly have no idea why. Do I just leave him?
POST: I [22F] have been with my boyfriend [26M] for 8 months. His female friends hate me and I have no idea why. They've given him ultimatums about seeing me or being friends with them, they have never talked to me when I'm around (they flat out refuse to even acknowledge I exist), and generally disrespect me and my relationship with my boyfriend. They demand he spend more time with them when he and I are long distance for the time being (I'm finishing college and am home, where he lives, on breaks) and see him on average 2-4 days a month whereas they see him or have the ability to see him the other 26-28 days.
Obviously, I'm really upset by this. I've tried to interact with them and get to know them, but they're really just awful to me. I've talked to boyfriend about it, and he doesn't understand why I take it as hard as I do. He thinks it's wrong, but he doesn't think he can or should do anything about it.
Am I wrong to want him to do something about it? Should I leave him if he doesn't?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend's female friends hate me and treat me poorly and make negative comments about my relationship. Am I wrong to expect my boyfriend to do something about it? Should I leave him if he doesn't? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [26 M] relationship with my GF [25 F] of 3 mos is amazing, but there are kids..
POST: She is everything I want. She is hilarious, spontaneous, every day together is an adventure. She is gorgeous, glows confidence and has a magnetic personality. There are always a line of guys waiting like hungry lions, but she makes sure to kiss me or sit on my lap. She always makes me feel secure and wanted. I've never had so much sex, amazing sex. She'll take off my pants, pull over the car, whisper in my ear at dinner when she wants to, its unreal. Her friends are awesome, I have this whole group and everyone of them has reached out to me and brought me in.
We have the same birthday, and god we are so alike, but she has all the good parts I want to be. She always puts it all out in the open, there hasnt been one moment of jealousy, miscommunication, anger. Like she can read my mind, calls it out and we talk about everything, reassures me, intelligent disagreements without emotional baggage. Its so relieving to be with someone who you understand so well. She is just unreal.
But she has 2 kids, she wont let me meet them until she knows for certain if I'm committed. Shes upfront and told me what I need to be. She wants to live together, have more kids, get married, the whole deal, eventually of course, but soon enough. But im not ready, I barely have my shit together. Graduated late, entry level job with low pay, barely scraping by and there is no way I can contribute. In a couple of years when I've climbed the pole and i can provide and fulfill that role, of course.
She knows where Im at right now, jokes about being the breadwinner because she does so well already, but I know she wants me to be stable and able to provide a good life. This girl is incredible, and Its such a good thing. But I feel like I have no choice here. I'm going to let a happy future slip away right from under me and i dont know what to do.
TL;DR: | my gf has kids and wants to get married the whole deal, and I cant my shit together quick enough to keep her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Recently been cheated on(23f) and looking for advice to help rebuild trust with him(25m).
POST: We have been together almost three years and about a year ago we moved to a new place for work. Things have always been pretty amazing; but after the move slowly we both became depressed in our own ways because of lack of social life, sun, and time together in this new environment. We actually talked about it and tried to address it months ago, but I had just started a new job that took more attention and his job was not going well so nothing really came of it. I don't feel we really drifted apart in our relationship in a way either of us could see but in a more personal way. We definitely were both unhappy with lack of attention we were receiving from the other but both made excuses as to why things had changed. I know my weight gain contributed to his lack of attention. Combine that with the fact that his job left him with little time or energy to show he appreciated all I do for him we both just continued to go through the motions of our 'perfect' relationship.
About two months ago he slept with another girl while he was back home. And then again while there again a month ago. I found out about it the night he got back home the second time. I am still very hurt but genuinely wanted to mend things and feel he does too. I know not much time has past but I don't want to waste time with this that I don't have to. I want to look at this as a wake up call for the both of us. I know that's not a good way to put it but when I break it down it's the easiest way to.
My main issue right now is how I can rebuild all the trust I had in and with him. I haven't forgiven him but sincerely plan to in the future. We just signed a one year lease again. I wouldn't normally want to do that right after all this but it's how the timing worked out.
I can provide more details but really don't know if the circumstances of the cheating would change any advise I can receive.
TL;DR: | Just looking for people that have gone through a similar experience that can either give me confidence that it does work out sometimes and what little/big things can be done to help rebuild for a better relationship in our future. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25, M] broke things off with my girlfriend [26, F] after 4 years together.
POST: So I just broke up with my girlfriend yesterday after 4 years of being together. She was the first really long relationship I've ever had, previous ones were not even lasting 6 months.
Long story short it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It all began a while ago, we had a big fight and I told her I was not sure what I felt anymore, this was back in December. We struggled all the way up until the point we are now and I just simply could not make myself love her in that way anymore. I told her I did not want to string her along or cause any more trouble or pain than I already had. She couldn't seem to really understand that as she really cried her eyes out all night. Of course she told me to sleep as I have to work in an hour from now (6AM), but I couldn't because leaving a girl alone crying is for me a horrible thing to do. I understood that I was the last one she needed comfort from, but I was the only one right now.
It's hard to understand where we go from here. There's stuff at my place, there's stuff at her place and we don't really want to see each other because that will only make things harder on her and myself. She has the hardest time with the break-up as I initiated it. I just couldn't find a feeling related to love anymore when I saw her at home. I would come home after work, she would be there but there would be no excitement. I just wanted to be alone and do things for myself instead of talking about my day.
I'm just hoping I made the right decision in the end and I didn't screw up something that could of been amazing, but if you don't feel it you don't feel it, right? I guess I'm just looking for confirmation that I'm doing the right thing.
TL;DR: | girlfriend of 4 years and myself broke up, she didn't want to but I didn't want to fake my feelings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my GF [32 F] 4y, What should I do if I have a "thing" for breast implants.
POST: I am wondering if I have a problem in that I have a "thing" for the thought of breast implants. I don't like fake looking breasts necessarily, just bigger ones and the thought of them getting bigger. I have a great girlfriend with a killer body. She even has great large breasts. But I cannot stop fantasizing about the being bigger. Like, slightly more than my handful. I have had this type of fantasy my entire adult life. I don't like that I like it, but when I think about it, I get very, very turned on. It is just a fantasy.
I love my girlfriend and I would never bring this up with her. I hate the idea of what that can do to a person. I have nothing to change about her. I am going to propose soon, too. I don't even support plastic surgery very much. I mean, in cases of reconstruction or it affecting somebody's life or their own personal decision, more power to them. I just think surgery is a large health burden and expensive, and not to be taken lightly.
I guess I'm saying I think I should keep this fantasy a secret? Is it wrong for me to have this "thing"? Should I just ignore it forever? What should I do?
TL;DR: | I have an unrealistic "thing" for breast implants but I would never want to even mention it to my girlfriend whom I love. How should I cope? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: He's (21/m) suddenly afraid of commitment (25/f)
POST: We've been together for about a year and a half. We have so much fun together, we communicate really well, do outdoor activities together and have a good sex life. We don't live together but we stay with each other often. He always has positive feelings about the future and expresses wanting to make it long term. until recently. I moved to a new residence and right away things started to get weird. He seemed distant and didn't seem to want sex, hugs, kisses, talking much etc. I asked him about it and he told me something didn't feel right and he had been thinking of breaking up with me but that he loved me and didn't want to lose me. He told me in the same conversation that he would like to work it out. a month went by and we had lots of dates/sleepovers/hangouts. I mentioned how nice it was sleeping next to him and how I imagined how nice it would be to come home to him and that set it off. He told me he loved me but that he is afraid of what the future holds. He says he's confused and he needs time to make sure that being with me is the right thing. I haven't spoken to him since wednesday.. :( how should I handle this?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend told me that he loves me but something doesn't feel right. He is afraid of commitment. He is taking time to decide whether he can go on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend wants us to build a home then CRIES over his EX! What's going on? Me [38F] bf [44M] of 3 months.
POST: I had the most intense and beautiful relationship of my life. We are so alike and we were inseparable. He quickly beings telling me I'm his soul mate and he loves me. We agree to see homes together and he talks about spending our lives together.
Last week he found out that his ex moved in with her new boyfriend. When he heard this, he begins to cry and has a COMPLETE and full breakdown and stops talking to me.
.
**Background**
.
**He**
HE left his wife 2 years ago because she would go out with her friends and drink every day after work, and he had enough. He left. Started a new life.
.
He's a kind, loving professional, well educated, very respectful, a perfect gentleman and he's been on his own for a couple of years and now wants a happy home life. He says he thought he was ready, but realizes he was not.
This screams rebound relationship. I tried to be so careful. I thought 2 years was enough!
.
**Me**
I'm a busy girl. In medicine. Clean slate. I've spent my life behind books. I waited to be a professional. I waited to be ready. I waited to find the right person.. then this happens.
.
.
We're taking a break, but yesterday he tells me he still loves me and he still wants us to stay together, but to give him time to get over his past.
I don't know how to react. I'm didn't see this coming! We were great together. Should I just give up on him?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of 3 months begins to cry for is ex when he learns she moved on and is living with someone else, but he still wants a future with me. I don't know if that's even possible! Can it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Im an 18 year old guy i just want to meet a cool girl at like an arcade or something i dont like any of the girls i see everyday where are the girls that will sit around watching ed edd and eddy with me and laugh and make fun of each-other.
POST: i haven't had any interest in a girl for a while. i see a lot of girls that i think are pretty and i look at girls a lot and think about how pretty they are. but no matter how good they look I'm not interested in them because they are boring to me.
my dream girl is like a crazy artist girl who has ideas and can talk to me and make me laugh and think but i haven't found any girls like this. sometimes i think to myself like where do i think i could find the kind of girls i imagine when I'm thinking about what kind of girl would make me happy and i think i might want to meet a girl at an arcade or in a weird store or just see her smoking a joint while I'm walking through the park late at night and smoke with her and have high talk with her. idk does this kind of girl exist???
TL;DR: | I stopped caring about girls, all girls i see bore me, my dream girl is a cool crazy artist girl who will paint and watch cartoons with me, do girls like this even exist? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] am falling hard for a crush [18 F] who's halfway across the world right now.
POST: Sorry to repost this, I just haven't gotten a single bit of feedback from my previous one.
Backstory: We are both entering college sophomores who met last year at university. We became very good friends and I've had a minor crush on her for a few months. Home from school, we live several hours away from each other in different cities, and she's currently studying abroad overseas. Her roommate and I live in the same county so she came to visit over Easter, we of course continued hanging out at school, and over the summer we've been texting back and forth - me saying she should come back to my city and her saying I should go visit her (after she returns from abroad).
The issue: my minor crush has been steadily intensifying, especially once summer hit since my job hasn't started yet and I have tons of idle time. I constantly think about our lives together as a couple, certain issues and how we would work through them, how things would change next summer, etc. Meanwhile, I have yet to even ask her out and I don't know if she'll even say yes! On top of that, I haven't actually seen her in about a month.
Am I just crazy? How can I deal with this?
TL;DR: | I may be falling in love with a good friend from school, even though I haven't seen her recently and don't know if she feels the same way. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My[22F] bf/fiance?[22M] of 5 years has decided to get back together with me, but things aren't the same?
POST: So I have been dating my bf for about 5 years now and our relationship has always been unsteady. We got together when we were 17 and when he was just about to start college at UC Santa Barbara. When he started college, he became really shady, and started drinking and doing drugs without ever telling me. He would constantly lie to my face about it and also talk to other girls behind my back and eventually cheated on me. We broke up many times over the years and got back together because we truly loved each other, but I would always have to face the past and know that i am with someone who constantly lied to me and treated me like I was less important than anyone else. After finishing school, he became more committed, so I told him that unless he wanted to get married, I no longer wanted to continue this. He agreed and we involved our families to get the ball rolling for marriage. This February he broke up with me because he thought I wasn't the one for him due to the fact that I cared about him returning the money he borrowed from me. A month later I found out he was talking to one of the girls he cheated on me with in the past. I became angry and devastated and confronted him about it and he told me that they hooked up and that he really likes her. Fast forward to now and he says nothing ever happened with her and that he wants to give this relationship another try. I really want this to work out because I love him so much, but now that we are back together, things aren't the same. I always initiate "romantic convos" and buy him things to show him I care. I feel like im more into him than he is into me. I feel like he just enjoys all of the attention i give him. When i told him about this, he said that It will take time for him to become normal again. I have so much history with him...we were practically engaged, went through an abortion, and have know each other for half our lives.
TL;DR: | Do I wait for him to become "normal" again? OR should I just move on in the hopes that someone can love me the way I love him?. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Should I listen to my anxiety, or go through with it?
POST: I (19 F) have been dating my boyfriend (18 M) for eight months now in complete secrecy. We are absolutely perfect for each other, and love one another beyond anything. I've struggled during my childhood with an abusive father (whom I no longer see), and I'm overjoyed to have found someone who does not mirror any of my father's dreadful traits (thank the universe).
I live with my mother, who was abused in such a manner by my father, that it left her with deep emotional and mental scars. She has several mental disorders, two of such being moderate bipolar disorder and anxiety; all of which she refuses to acknowledge.
I've grown up fearing my mother's outbursts or rage, often because she doesn't (and cannot) understand the impact her words have on my mental wellbeing. I was diagnosed with mild Aspergers, as well as depression, anxiety, and PTSD (of course, my mother believes the doctors don't know what they're talking about, and that I'm perfectly fine). Combining my mental and emotional instability with her fits of anger when she's displeased, the outcome isn't ever pretty.
So this takes me to my main point; should I tell my mother about my secret lover? I've been living a complete lie so far — sneaking out to see him and making up a story afterwards about seeing my friends and whatnot. It's just that, with my instability, I'm afraid that if my mother disproves of him, then I'll convince myself that I'm not worth him; that I could do better, or worse, or that I'm best off alone.
He keeps me smiling, he cares beyond the depths of his heart, he's everything I've ever wanted. I just don't want my mother's clouded insight to potentially destroy things...
TL;DR: | in a secret relationship. Have a mentally ill mother who would disapprove of my relationship due to her trauma, and her words would greatly impact my emotionally-wounded self. Should I tell her, or keep things secret? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Update] My(28m) gf(21f) and I having some intimacy issues
POST: I confronted her about the issue, she insists that she is attracted to me and that its not my fault. She revealed that in her last relationship she would have sex when she didn't want to in order to keep him happy. She also said that he forced himself on her so she is still recovering emotionally.
What confuses me is when we first met we had amazing sex on first date, and the next couple times I saw her as well. So now I don't know if she was faking for my sake(I don't think so since it would be hard to fake her muscle spasming orgasms) or if it's something else.
I want to help her through it and want things to get better. Problem is I'm super attracted to her and her never being in the mood is really leaving me unfulfilled. How do I approach her about this? I don't want to pick an open wound but with no sign of change I don't know how long I can keep this up.
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TL;DR: | ] My girl was abused in her last relationship and is not giving me the affection I desire but I don't know how to help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [19 M] break up with my girlfriend [19F] on/near valentines day?
POST: This is my first real relationship and we've been dating since we were seniors in high school (2 years). She seemed like the perfect person for me, but our expectations of life together, our plans for the future, and our goals for having and raising a family are complete polar opposites.
After a rocky 2 years, one break up, many fights, and an emotional roller coaster ride later, I finally came to the realization that we probably just aren't meant to be.
I feel like I couldn't have come to this realization at a worse time seeing as it's rapidly approaching the 14th of February, and I don't want to spend valentines day with her, pretending everything is fine and knowing I have a bomb to drop any minute. I still have feelings for her and I want to be as delicate as possible but still be clear about where we stand going forward.
TL;DR: | I want to break up with my girlfriend of two years and I realized this two days before valentines day. How do I break the news in the most respectful way possible? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How to tell my (18/f) parents they are losing me over my boyfriend (20/m)
POST: My parents do not approve of my relationship with my boyfriend. They don't trust him, like him. They do everything in their power to let me know he's a rotten egg.
It hurts so much hearing them talk this way about my boyfriend. They don't have any reason to. He is a sweet well behaved man. Overly friendly. He's well known in my little town and a lot of people like him as well.
I tell my parents how much I love my boyfriend, but they keep telling me I need to get out of this relationship. The relationship between my parents is getting worse. How do I talk to them when they don't want to listen? I don't want to lose my boyfriend nor my parents.
I want to write them a letter as a last resort. But what do I put in it?
TL;DR: | The relationship between my parents and I is falling apart because of my boyfriend they hate. I don't want to lose anyone, how to deal with this situation? They don't listen. How do I talk to them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my husband[26 M] of one year. Found out he cheated on me three months ago.
POST: From a throwaway Facebook account entitled 'Johnny Doe', I received a message telling me that my husband had cheated on me with a coworker. I asked my husband what it was all about over a message on facebook, not fully believing he would ever do such a thing, but he called me crying, and admitted that he had indeed slept with his friend/coworker three months ago.
At the time it happened, we were having major problems that neither of us was sure we'd survive. We married too fast, moved in together too fast, basically rushed into it all. It has been major work trying to adapt so that we can stay together. And then I found out this happened.
I know that he loves me, and that he handled all of this poorly, I want to forgive him because I truly think that he is sorry and that it is something I can eventually get past.
I found out yesterday, and as of late him and I had finally reached a place where we were getting along really well. I am so happy I found out now, after we had learned to get along better, and not three months ago where I know we would have broken up on the spot.
Question is....how do I get past it? In my mind, I can understand the feelings that would have led him to do this- but at times it feels like it is tearing my heart to pieces.
I once heard a quote, god knows where, "You don't forgive someone because they deserve it, you forgive them because you love them and want them in your life."
TL;DR: | Husband of one year cheated on me once while having marital issues, how do I learn to get past this and trust again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (18M) asked my crush (17F) out and she said she couldn't sustain an LDR. How should I deal with it?
POST: Quite a long story but please bear with me. I am a student, waiting to go into uni this coming September, and so is my crush, but we study in different towns. I've known her for around half a year; we got close really fast and just this October I asked her out over text. She initially said yes but a few days later she said no to it and said to ask her personally. I did eventually when I got the chance, and she said to see how it goes when we meet up alone.
Fast forward to last night, we were texting and the conversation eventually turned to her saying that she can't date me. She did not reject me outright, but she listed reasons, main one being she not being able to handle long distance, since we had offers from different universities. She did say however if I had an offer from her first choice, she wouldn't have hesitated in saying yes. On came the heartbreak within me and we said our goodbyes. But I don't know if I can still text her like I did before.
The question is: what am I to do with this situation? I am very tempted to keep on nagging her about it, and she said my persistence had almost led her to say yes, but I don't want to be bitchy or clingy about it. If I am not to nag her about it, how am I to deal with knowing she likes me back, and yet text and talk to her as a friend?
TL;DR: | Rejected by a friend of half a year after asking her out, she reveals to me she shared my feelings but didn't want to risk a LDR. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Caught my parents' cleaning lady stealing on camera. Now what?
POST: My brother and I suspected the cleaning lady my parents' have employed for 23+ years of stealing some cash from his room on multiple occasions. The first time it happened, he thought maybe he had misplaced it, but we were all suspicious of the maid. Second time the money was placed in a different spot, out of sight, it too disappeared.
Knowing that the maid was coming today to clean, I set up a hidden webcam in his room and checked the footage when I got home from class, and sure enough, I caught her rooting around in one of his old hiding spots 3 times while cleaning today.
The question is, what do I do with this info? Obviously she won't be cleaning here anymore. But it would be great if we could get the money back somehow. I doubt this footage would mean anything in court, but I don't think she would know that. My plan was to take the day off school next time she is scheduled to come back next and confront her, telling her if she could pay the money she stole back I wouldn't go to the police.
I have a decent relationship with this woman, she has been cleaning this house all my life. I don't believe she knows that I know what she has been up to.
Does reddit have any good ideas on how to handle this?
TL;DR: | My parents' maid has been stealing cash from my brother's room. How do I confront her with the best chance of convincing/scaring her into paying the money back? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Am I [19/m] guilty? Loves his gf [19/f] but sometimes thinks about another [19/f].
POST: I should start from the beginning. I was a naive college freshman. Nothing happened in high school. No girlfriends but a few crushes and broken hearts. Here I was at an outdoor lunch during orientation week all by my lonesome, empty seats on either side of me. I look to my right and I see a beautiful creature. She catches my glimpse and strikes a conversation with me, a nobody. An actual girl is talking to me! It turns out our parents came from the same foreign country only I grew up there and she didn't. Like the hurricane whose name she shares, she devastated my young self. I was infatuated. She never became my girlfriend. It wasn't for the lack of trying however. I went with her to see improv shows and I even invited her over during a window painting party. We painted a mural of Pac-man. But she lived on the other side of the freshman housing and made a different group of friends. It was hard to make anything happen especially with someone with no experience whatsoever. She found another. My passion for her waned.
Then another girl came along. She too lived in a different dorm but often hung out in our common room to read. She was quiet. But beautiful. Everyone had a crush on her. I had to fight two other guys to escort her back to her dorm. There was pain and anguish but after a semester of pursing she finally kissed me under the stars. It was amazing. A year later here I am now still in love with that same quiet girl. But every time I see the first girl who ever gave me her full attention I get this pang of feels. I can't quite describe it. It's a mixture of confusion, excitement, a little bit of regret, and a lot of guilt. She broke up with the other guy a while back and recently found solace with a great guy from what little I know. I know things would probably never work out between us. I know that she's probably just friendly and is like that to everyone but I can't stop feeling guilty whenever I see her, even just from a status post on Facebook. Am I a bad boyfriend? I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Had a crush on the first girl who talked to me in college. Met a different girl who became my partner. Still thinks about the first girl. Am I guilty? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20F] am ready to end my relationship with my unstable boyfriend [21M]
POST: We have been dating almost a year and a half now and the stress of the relationship for the past 4 months have been unreal and causing me anxiety.
Long story short, we meet the first week of our freshman at college. Immediately hit it off, but were fuck buddies for the first semester. Afterwards, we developed into a relationship.
Fast foward to this past december, him and I traveled to Korea together, since he has to do his mandatory 2-year service there. Had a great 3 weeks and he stayed in Korea and came back to the US.
Within the past 4 months, everything has turned to complete shit.
*He was supposed to go into the service in March, but broke a ligament in his shoulder causing him to go in June instead.
* He called me drunk one night threatening to kill himself because he had been so stressed out
*Had a 3 week depression because all he can do is stay home because of his shoulder
*Healed enough to earn extra cash at theme park, but realized he was working 16hrs for shit pay
*Called me drunk again, threatening to break up and said that he cheated on me while we were being fuck buddies (Still wasn't cool about it, but forgave him)
This is all on top of him basically being a shitty communicator (we text and call each other), him liking pictures of the girl he cheated on me with, and him not keeping most of his promises.
I swear he was never like this within the past year but for some reason he has completely changed. I deserve better and want to end things, but whenever i talk to him, I have to urge to forgive everything and beat around the bush. I was supposed to today, but I backed out and told him about all the stress he's given me, and all he told me was that he didn't want to talk and told me he will call later this week. (which is normal for us)
How can I break up with him without confrontation and being direct at what I want to do? I never have broken up with anyone before.
TL;DR: | Can't not figure out a way to break up with long distance boyfriend without backing out and old memories flooding my mind when I talk to him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend (29M) yells when he gets frustrated and it makes me (22F) upset.
POST: When my boyfriend (29m) gets stressed or frustrated, he yells. We've been together for 1.5 years. He got laid off recently because his company didn't have the funds to keep many people on-board, so he's been spending most of his time playing WoW. He sometimes gets mad at the game and swears loudly and bangs his table. I find that he gets frustrated more often now than before. His yelling is never really directed at me but I often find myself worrying that I did something wrong to make him upset. He's also been having financial issues because he bought a new house he has to pay off too.
How can I help him? He said that when I'm not around, he yells a lot. When I *am* around, he feels like he needs to suppress his yelling so it makes him even more stressed. We want to move in together soon so I'd like to figure out a way to either relax him more or help me feel ok about him venting his frustrations. I don't want to feel like I'm walking on eggshells.
TL;DR: | BF yells when he gets stressed out which is happening more often. His yelling is not directed at me but I get upset anyway. How do I calm him down? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my gf [26 F] of 3 years, she is mad at me for wanting to go to a festival she loves
POST: Hey Reddit,
I'm a student currently on exchange in California for 6 months. My gf is back home in Australia.
She has always loved EDM (electro dance music) and she is the one who introduced me to the whole culture. She has also been wanting to go to this famous festival called EDC for years, which never happened because she has had exams during that period each year.
As I am in California this year, I will be able to go to the festival and told my gf that I wanted to. To my surprise, she became furious that I would consider going without her, told me that I was "backstabbing her" and that I was "stealing her thing".
I feel like she is being unreasonable, considering that she will have the possibility to go and most probably will go the following year when I will be in Australia finishing university.
She is asking me not to go, as she says it will "hurt her", and also told me that if I asked her not to go the following year, she would wait.
I really don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not to want to go, can you give me a second opinion?
Thank you
TL;DR: | My gf who introduced me to the EDM culture wants me not to go to a festival because she feels like I'm stealing her dream. I need another perspective on the matter. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I have no idea if my 'boyfriend' with a troubled past is real (F M 18) (throwaway)
POST: Ok this is a long awful story but I need honest opinions.
My friend met a guy online , let's call him "Jake". she's skyped him a ton so I know he's real. Well "jake" has a friend named "Alan".
"Alan" is a super depressed kid who has gone through hell from being raised in foster care and being raped as a child. "Alan" had a huge crush on me and I felt really bad for him because he has been through so much hell. So I agreed to become his long-distance girlfriend.
We only texted each other, But me and Alan got along pretty good until he called me on the phone for the first time. He barely talked, simply saying "Hello...Hi....Ok I have to go bye." He's called me about five times and each conversation is like this. Each conversation lasts about 5 mins or less. Each call he barely says 10 words.
After about a week of this I told him I wished we could talk more on the phone. He was furious. He told me he can't say many words on the phone because he's 'nervous'. He also told me that he can't talk to me every night because he is too busy going to work and school. I've never talked to him on webcam and he's sent me photos of him but we all know photos can be found anywhere on the internet.
I asked him why he would want to have a girlfriend if he was so busy between work and school. He got even angrier after I said that.
The next day, "Jake" called me on the phone and was furious about what I said to "Alan". "Jake" told me I was selfish and a bitch for questioning "Alan".
TL;DR: | I'm supposedly been for 2 months dating a troubled guy with an awful past, I have no idea if he's even real. I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30'sF] with my mother [50'sF] not sure how to tell her I don't want her to visit.
POST: Little bit of backstory: My mother and I have always had a horrible relationship. She was never nurturing, caring or loving. She always put herself first.
My dad and mom were never together, so, when I was 2 years old we moved in with this guy who was very verbally abusive, and sometimes physically as well. I used to spend all my free time with my grandparents. Weekends, holidays, summer break..you get the drift..all just to not be at home. My mom would often go out with her friends every night so I would always be left alone with my step-dad. When I was 10 they had a child and shortly after broke up, by the time I was 15, she made me quit school and get a job so I could help support her and my sister. I would stay home in the evenings to watch my sister so she could still go out with her friends. Another important thing to mention is she doesn't dress like a mom. She wears clothes that are too small, tight, sexy...and it does not look good. In fact, I remember being picked on in school because my mom looked like a skank.
So naturally, when I turned 19 I moved, Far, far away...Like 5000klms away.
Anyways jump to the present, I have been away from my hometown for 14 years now, I have gone back for visits every few years. But my life is great, it's pretty close to perfect. I have a great job, an amazing bf, a beautiful daughter etc.
She wants to come and visit me now and get away from her horrible alcoholic bf, shitty job, etc. Things aren't going so well for her. BUT I live at my bf's house and with me and him, my daughter, and his 2 kids there is no room for her in the house. I feel guilty, because A) I don't want her staying there B) I'm ashamed of her and don't want my bf to meet her. Am I horrible?
Please help.
TL;DR: | Horrible mom wants to come visit but I am ashed of her and don't want her to stay with us/ meet my amazing bf |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by really liking tea
POST: Backstory: I was kind of sheltered growing up, and as much as I don't want to admit it, I'm still very much an innocent Catholic girl sometimes. So anyway, I'm a tea drinker, and I'm also a broke college student. Last year I was at the university's health center for a counseling appointment, and my counselor always made me some tea at these appointments.
So I'm walking out of my appointment one day and I saw a basket full of tea bags by the door. I thought, instead of buying my own tea, it would be much cheaper to just take some from the basket--after all, that's why they set out a basket, right? So I grab a handful of tea bags and just shove them in my purse hoping no one saw what a cheapskate I am. But there were a few people around and they gave me some weird looks.
Only later did I get a chance to actually inspect them, and that's when I realized... Those little black pouches are not tea bags. They are condoms.
TL;DR: | Shoved a handful of condoms in my purse thinking they were bags of tea. Several people now think I'm a weirdo. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex (27F) trying to get in touch with me (32M) after being broken for almost 3.5years.
POST: The ex and I were together for 3 years and we broke up. 6 months immediately following the breakup, she would call and try to get back every single day.
The calls stopped when she met another guy and as far as I know they were in serious LTR. Strangely though, about every six months with in those years, she would call, text message, Facebook and want to talk about our relationship and what went wrong and how I broke her heart. She and I even met up once for drinks unbeknownst to her boyfriend.
I am confused by all this. I was her first boyfriend. She is the girl I have been in the relationship the longest with. At the same time, I felt she was just trying to hang on to the past and making herself feel good by trying to see if I still want her.
After two years of that, I changed my phone numbers due to relocation and canceled Facebook and all social media for other personal reasons. I thought for sure this girl will no longer have a way to contact me.
A month ago, she FB messaged my brother asking for my number. Today, she found my old email and asked me if I still use it. Should I reply? Part of me still care for her and want to make sure she is ok. Part of me don't want to get used by her for emotional comfort.
TL;DR: | Ex emailed after being apart 3.5 years. Wondering if I should reply? Don't want to get used again for emotional crutch. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Girl cheated on her boyfriend with me. Advice?
POST: Met Sarah (not her real name) in college a fairly long time ago. When I met her, she was a couple of years into a long-term relationship with a guy that she was totally in love with. Never met the guy myself, as it's a long-distance relationship. She's now been dating the guy several years.
We've always been pretty attracted to each other, and I would say there are real romantic feelings between us. Our interactions have always been very flirtatious. We've had a few classes together and hang out fairly frequently.
Last night we spent the night together and had some...physical interaction. We didn't have sex (that would have made me feel too guilty), but did enough so that the dynamic of our friendship is probably going to be drastically changed. We talked in the morning about the fact that we've always really liked each other, how she wasn't sure if she wanted her current relationship to keep up once she graduated (we're both seniors), and whether or not things were going to be complicated from here on out.
My basic question is this: How should I proceed? I've never been in this position before. I've always had a thing for this girl, and last night I saw a side of her that I've never seen before - and liked this new side to her very much. On the other hand, I can't tell if she would be willing to leave her boyfriend. What should I do now?
TL;DR: | Spent the night with a long-time crush even though she has a boyfriend, not sure what to do now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my boyfriend [23M] for four months, I think his disability is tearing us apart....
POST: Resubmitted to give the right title.
Hey /r/relationships, posting this during the day for higher visibility.
For some background, my boyfriend has oculucutaneous albinism. Essentially he has pale and sometimes translucent skin, very light blonde hair, and his eyes move back and forth due to a related condition called nystagmus.
My boyfriend thinks that he has faced a good deal of discrimination due to his disability. He goes as far as to say that people don't want to really get to know him because of how he looks. He has very few friends, but the ones he does have are very close friends. I'm not sure if he's right or not, but I do know I enjoy spending time with him and really can't see why his personality would turn people off.
Now for the friction. He and I have decided we are going to be entirely honest with each other. This means telling each other things that aren't always pleasant.
The fact of the matter is I have a good friend who has told me flat-out to dump my boyfriend because he looks weird. (She even pointed out the moving eyes and hair) I have a few others who have disapproved of me dating him because they don't find him attractive enough. Of the several friends who have met him or seen his picture, only one hasn't implied or outright told me that my boyfriend is unattractive because of his condition.
I have told him about all of these interactions because we both promised total honesty. Also, I think I may have made a mistake recently. A guy in one of my classes was hitting on me (even though I told him I have a boyfriend). My BF asked me who I found more attractive and I told him that I find him more emotionally attractive but I find the other guy more physically attractive.
Now my boyfriend is acting very distant and I'm not really sure why or what to do. Please advise reddit.
TL;DR: | BF has albinism. My friends want me to dump him for it. I told him about it and now he's distant. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: can anyone help me choose a new laptop for school?
POST: so my laptop I bought at the beginning of college (Dell Insperion 1558) finally gave a couple days ago and I suspect its the motherboard. anyways I am looking for some help in finding one that would best suit my needs. I am a business information systems major who is constantly on my computer for school work or just entertainment. my last computer while had power felt cheap and the plastic casing broke towards the end of its life I need a sturdy replacement. I'm looking for something that I can use years from now hopefully taking it into my first job where lots of technical companies now are implementing bring your own computer policies from what I understand. my budget is <1500 usd.
I would greatly appreciate any help since I'm currently filling this out on my phone which is a bitch, thank you in advance!
TL;DR: | my old computer broke and I'm looking for help buying a new one, I'm in school studying business information systems. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] thinks my [19 F] ex-girlfriend is faking a pregnancy and I don't know how to debunk it.
POST: Here's a little background information. I'm 25, she's 19. I lived in Utah and I was in a really low spot, my wife (now ex-wife) divorced me and I was in a vulnerable place. I ended up dating this girl and we decide to move to Oregon and live together with my parents. Long-story short, she ends up being crazy (for example, she faked three pregnancies and a miscarriage all in year). I end up kicking her out and sending her back to her family in Utah on a bus. A couple weeks later she tells me she's pregnant. How do I proceed from here? I have a feeling she's faking it, but the long-distance nature of the situation makes it even harder to debunk. Reddit, I need help.
TL;DR: | I live in Oregon, she lives in Utah. She claims she's pregnant, but I think she's faking. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24 M] boss [40's F] won't speak to me
POST: I am an AmeriCorps VISTA. I do what is called capacity building, where I build infrastructure so that my hosting non-profit can better serve its community.
That's the gist of it, at least. I got shoehorned into doing technical assistance rather than what I signed on to do. I have contacted the state office about my concerns, because when I brought my concerns to the brass at my host organization, they have punished me for doing so.
Anyway, I contacted the state office. This is a fairly drastic step, but I went through it anyway. I have also started denying new tech support requests that aren't pertinent to thing I had already been working on.
My executive director will not speak to me anymore. She comes in to the office, stares me down (I run the front desk), and then goes and talks to anyone else in the room. I find this to be childish, especially since this is supposed to be a workplace environment. What should I do? Should I just wait it out? I have to admit, I'm pretty angry myself. This organization has wasted about four and a half months of my time with their horse shit.
TL;DR: | My executive director won't speak to me because she is angry that I brought my concerns to a higher power. Should I just wait it out? I'm either going to place at a new site or quit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M/F] with my more-than-friend [23 M/F] for 1.5 months. Freak out over things going too well.
POST: To give a little bit of a back story, the amazing girl that I am with tends to freak out about relationship stuff. She is an over-thinker and from time to time tends to get into sort of bad phases where I can't do much to help her.
Recently the topic of boyfriend/girlfriend label came up. I think we both sort of agree is pretty appropriate (her good friend agrees). She didn't really fully say that because quickly the conversation changed into her freaking out about moving too fast. Not moving too fast specifically, but she's scared about things falling apart in general. She says everything is going so well and she hasn't dated someone as great as me before, but she's scared that things can just crack at any moment. She assures me it has nothing to do with me, it's simply how her mind works and she gets into these phases from time to time but tries to block them out as much as she can. She says she does this in every relationship.
I don't know how to take this. I am myself spooked that maybe because she's so worried about things falling apart that she would intentionally/unintentionally lead it to that (although she assured me she would never do that). I can't help her, or really fully understand her situation. I'm an over-thinker myself and could be worried about the same stuff, but I don't really think about it. I just want to live in the moment, and for her to do the same, but she doesn't seem to work like that.
TL;DR: | Topic of boyfriend/girlfriend labels came up. She freaks and is scared that things might fall apart even though everything is going so well. I don't know what to do for myself or what to do to help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Me (M17) and my friend (F17) talk alot in person but she doesnt text back all that often?
POST: Ok so I apologize if this is in the wrong category, so please tell me if there is an area for friend specific advice.
So me and my friend have been friends for about 4 months and in January she called me one of her Bff's over facebook. we talk almost daily at school (we dont hang out, outside of school but that is another story)
Anyways, most of the time when I text her, she doesnt reply back, I know she gets them but she says that she doesnt see them. So why might this be? I find it odd that she doesnt reply to them but we talk to each other almost daily.
Has anyone else been in a situation like this where someone you talk to almost daily usually doesnt reply to your texts?
TL;DR: | Girl I like called me one of her "bffs", we talk almost daily, but she almost never texts me back. Why might this be? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Update: I [18 M] am ashamed of my girlfriend [17 F]
POST: Original Post:
So, I took all of your advice and broke up with her. She was crushed.
We really depended on each other and she fell into sort of a lull, but we never stopped talking, and there was a very high chance of us getting back together because we were talking things out and we both decided that we both needed to change.
Things were going really great, we were hanging out, talking, going on dates, I took her to parties, I took your advice and I was feeling really great about us.
But of course, every good thing must come to an end, and this one came too abruptly.
I met up with her at a Halloween party that one of my friends was throwing, and we were talking it up, having a great time, talking to each other's friends, making out, all that good stuff. So, I thought it was another success and that we would be back to dating in a week or so. Then I get to school on Monday.
Everybody's asking me if I heard what my ex-girlfriend did, and I obviously have no clue. But, I guess during the party, my ex-girlfriend made out with one of my best friends. I understand that it was for a brief period of time, but still.
I hear this and immediately go off on her. She did not tell me about this, nor did she plan on it. I was going to date this girl again, now with more love and pride than ever. I understand that we weren't dating, but we were still very loyal to each other and loved each other a lot. Also, it was less than a week after I broke up with her. I talked to my friend and he explained himself, I like the guy and she went in for the first move, so I don't think there is any tension there. He told me the whole story.
I refused to listen to her pleas and ended things for good. Thank you Reddit for giving me the advice to let her go in advance. Fuck her.
TL;DR: | EX GF says she will change so we could date again, happiness ensues, she then makes out with one of my best friends. Thank you Reddit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [26M] sister [19F] eloped with a [42M], said she was taking a trip to visit friends, now she won't come back and our parents are furious.
POST: So my little sister left a week ago to another province (we live in Canada), told us she was taking a short winter trip to see her friends. Turns out she lied and was actually going to get married to a much older boyfriend nobody knew she had. She claims to have been dating him for two years. She told me this AFTER getting married to him. She submitted papers to legally change her last name and everything. I am so confused. She lived with our parents up until she left and never hinted at doing anything like this. I saw her pretty much every other day and now she says she's not coming back.
I want to fucking kill the guy who did this. I keep on almost booking tickets to the city they are in but I don't know what I could do. She has called the non emergency line in our city and let the police know that she is okay so we can't say she's a missing person or anything. She was supposed to just be gone three days but she told me and my parents that she is planning on living there with her new husband for the foreseeable future. She says she is okay, that rent is cheaper there and their living conditions are very good, she wants to live the life of a housewife for a little while, then enrol in university. She wants to have a baby while she's most fertile (?!?!?!). I asked if she was already pregnant and she said no but she is trying (?!?!?!?!?!). She has already completed a year and a half of university so I'm very surprised by her dropping out like this.
I have no idea where to start or what the fuck to do. She has a history of mental illness (panic disorder and bipolar 2 disorder) so I am extremely concerned for her but because she's technically an adult I don't know what my options are. I don't want her under some loser's thumb.
Thanks Reddit.
TL;DR: | mentally ill 19 year old sister uprooted her life and married a 42 year old man in a nearby province, trying to get pregnant |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 16 M wanting to get to know a very cute girl 17 F who doesn't know me. I haven't talked with her in two years.
POST: So, there is this really cute girl who I like and she's pretty, intelligent, and artistic, exactly what I'm into fellow redditors :)
Plot twist: She doesn't know I exist and the last time I talked to her was two years ago at a party. I already asked if she could introduce me formally, but she said they drifted and
No longer talk. She goes to a different school than me, close, but not too close, and no one knows her from my school other than knowing her name; "Yes I've heard of _____"
She doesn't have Facebook and probably doesn't remember
me, I mean, it's been two years and it was one night... Though I've seen her Pop up on Instagram and I know she has snapchat, yet that is too creepy to be like: "hey, it's this one guy who remembers you from two years ago, what's up?"
So stalemates we have here are as follows:
. She doesn't know I exist
. No I can't randomly bump into her in my neighbourhood because I live nowhere near her
. My friend doesn't talk to her anymore and refuses to (since they stopped talking awhile ago, bringing me up would seem weird.)
. Last time I talked with her was two years ago.
. She doesn't have any easy chat social media and nobody I know has her number, (which would be creepy of me anyway.)
Any advice is appreciated reddit :) I just really seem to be deeply interested in her complex personality.
TL;DR: | A girl I haven't talked to for two years doesn't know me and I want to know her now and perhaps start up something. (Problems are listed above in a dot column/checklist) |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Trying to find the right number
POST: Hello Personalfinance, I come to you today trying to figure out how much I should pay on this month's credit card payment. It's my first one and I'm trying to be smart about this.
Long story short; my "emergency" fund wasn't enough to cover three bad things that happened in a bit ago and I needed to put $961.13 on my back up emergency credit card.
I'll be getting most of if not all of the money back on Sept. 15 via my quarterly expenses. (I will also be reimbursed for any interest) (It was a work thing that I'd rather not explain.)
Anyway, the card's minimum payment is $25.00 on the debt, but seeing as how I am going to need to pay bills and pick up some presents for my niece's birthday on Aug. 22. I won't have the cash to pay off a significant amount of the debt. Ideally I'd have the lowest payment while not accruing more interest.
What I want to do is figure out how much to pay on the debt, so that a) the interest doesn't make the debt grow and b) I pay little as possible so I have as much cash flow not tied up in this.
TL;DR: | I want to know what the monthly interest on $961.13 is with 15.99% APR so I can make a payment and not have the balance grow. If I pay the minimum, would that shrink the balance? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/M] I don't feel much anymore
POST: I've recently have been told I am wasting my time on a person in which I thought I really liked. I'd have expected myself to be frustrated and angry and sad at the same time, much like other times I've been turned down, but all that happened was me walking away and just... forgetting about it?
This has been a friend for about a year and a half now, and I've liked her once before but she started dating one of my good buddies and so I forced myself to bury the feelings, and I didn't think they would ever resurface. Perhaps I allowed myself to dig them back out, or perhaps these were new found feelings, but either way, they were around and here. When I had buried my initial feelings, I was able to move on extremely quickly, and just continued on with my life. It's the same thing now, I'm able to move on quickly.
I've rejected many, I've given up on many, I've been rejected myself twice. I think I want to be in a relationship, but hurting people and supposedly getting hurt doesn't phase me, it's as if I don't care about relationships anymore. What can I do to change my nonchalance into a drive to try even harder next time?
TL;DR: | Getting rejected, rejecting, giving up on people doesn't concern me much. Need advice on how to turn that nonchalance to a positive forward driving energy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/f] My boyfriend (22/m) broke up with me because he needs time to sort out his shit, and breaks bother him. Should I move on or hold on? [read on]
POST: My boyfriend broke up with me the other day. We had had a nice dinner, hung out, and then said we needed to talk. He said we should go back to being just friends for a while, because he's really busy and needs to focus on getting his life all worked out. I was upset - obviously, but I understood. We're both busy, university students and honestly life gets a little hectic, I know.
We talked more and he explained further. He said he didn't want to go on a "break" because that's ambiguous, and doesn't want me to have an obligation to him. However, he told me that he still feels the same, he still has feelings for me and cares for me very deeply. And, in a few months, if things are still the same between us, he wants us to have a relationship.
What bothers me is I never understand people who break up with people even though they still have clear feelings for them. I understand - he's busy - but so am I, and I thought we could work out it. He says this is the best idea, and will overall benefit our future (he says we have long-term potential).
I'm going absolutely insane over this. It's just haunting me. Knowing that he wants to be with me, and I want to be with him, but we can't be together. He won't let us be together. He says, though, nothing has changed. Now we just aren't together, we aren't dating, we're still friends, still the same. So I ask you /r/relationship_advice, should I just give up and move on, or should I wait? Right now, I want to wait. I want to be with him, and I like (maybe even love) this boy a whole lot.
TL;DR: | my boyfriend needs personal time but didn't want to go on a break so we broke up while he works on this, but wants to get back together eventually. should I wait for him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's your best "And Suddenly: BOOBS" Story. I'll Start..
POST: It was a fairly warm December night. It was Friday, the day of a big end of semester/winter graduation party that some of my close friends were putting on.
I had finished the bulk of my exams, so I was really excited to get out and see my friends and hang out with people that I had not seen in weeks. I took two tequila shots before I left my apartment on my short walk to the party.
Upon my arrival, there was a nice fire outside and a handful of individuals inside. This is typical for my friends' parties and I was looking forward to a familiar night. I presented my two graduating friends with beer and champagne and we stood around the fire warming ourselves and telling stories of the last few years.
I got caught up in conversation with a small group. The next thing I realized was the party was packed. There was loud dubstep and flashing lights inside and people were yelling for body shots.
The next series of events happened rather quickly... I got my friend to go out on the back deck and pop his champagne. He gave it to me while he went inside. I yelled that we should get in hottub and sprayed some people with champagne. I rolled my pants up and dunked my feet. I was passing the champagne and drinking PBR.
The next thing I realize was there are 5 naked girls sitting in the hottub with me and one other guy. We are all casually laughing and splashing. A few bouts of streaking happened through the rest of the party and attracted more naked/topless ladies.
I woke up the next morning with my first hangover.
TL;DR: | I have seen 4 sets of boobs in my entire life (mom, sister, 2 girlfriends). I doubled that in an hour span at a party. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21F] Was my guy [22M] just having a bad day or was it me?
POST: I've been seeing my guy for about four months now non exclusively and everything's been going pretty good so far. We see each other regularly, eat out, and have a good sex life. We just discussed last week that we aren't/haven't been sleeping with other people.
However late last night we had to drive two hours to get back to university and there were some times where he was fine and then snappy other times.
Earlier in the day, he went on a hike with a girl I know he's made out with in the past but he's said that they're good friends and he didn't hide the fact that he went with her.
The rest of the night was good, but last night after sex he didn't really sleep close to me and I put my arm around
him most of the night when usually it's the other way around.
By morning, it was normal again but I can't help but wonder why he was acting like that.
TL;DR: | My guy acted weird last night and didn't cuddle with me, was he just tired or am I over thinking things? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, someone is vandalizing my car and apartment. What do I do? How do I catch this fucker?
POST: Alright. I'll start from the very beginning (the perceived beginning, anyway)
About two weeks ago I called the police on the guy living above me. He was beating his live-in girlfriend up and she was screaming in agony.
The police arrived but no one answered the door at his apartment (surprise). With no evidence, beyond my phone call, the police left.
Fast forward to 4 nights ago. I was home with my girlfriend, relaxing. Someone threw a glass Snapple bottle at the front window of my apartment. The bottle struck about a half-food left, otherwise it would have shattered it for sure.
I wrote this incident off as random until...
This morning I found the word "Bitch" carved into the hood of my car and my license plate bent all out of shape.
I contacted the police and the office of my apartment building, but neither were able to offer any help.
Finally, this evening, someone threw eggs at my apartment and sped off in a car (I didn't see a make or model, only color).
I suspect it was the guy living above me, who figured out I called the police on him. However, i have absolutely no way of proving this. I'm quiet. I keep to myself. I hardly talk to anyone in my apartment build. And, my adress is unlisted on Facebook.
Whoever this is knows where I live AND which car I drive. My only logical conclusion is that the guy above me is seeking revenge.
I'm currently waiting for another apartment to become available to switch into. I have no idea how long that could take, though.
What the hell do I do?
TL;DR: | I believe im the target of vandalism because I called the police on the douche-bag in the apartment above me for beating his girlfriend up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Called after first "date," but she didn't answer, not sure what to do (19m, 18f)
POST: So, I'm in college and I hung out with a girl for a super long time yesterday. We're both a little introverted so it can be hard to know if she likes me, but I'm pretty positive she does. She laughed at everything I said and we literally talked for 2 hours so there has to be something there. At the end I told her it was nice and that we should see a movie soon, and she agreed. I said I'd call her and she seemed excited.
So today, a day later, I called her at around 9. My female friend suggested I do that even though I was kind of feeling like it might be going too fast, but I did it anyway since the girl and I hit it off really well. But anyway I was going to ask if she wanted to see a movie on Saturday. However, she didn't answer, and she didn't have voicemail set up so I couldn't leave one. Didn't think to text her saying I called either...
She posted something to Facebook at the time, so of course I'm thinking she ignored me, bad idea to call so soon, whatever else. Am I just overreacting to this and expect to have her get back to me tomorrow or something? I see her tomorrow in class so I'm not sure if it's something to bring up or not, since its my first time seeing her since our really awesome hang-out. Any help would be great.
TL;DR: | Hung out with a girl, it went great, tried to call her tonight, no sort of answer, not sure what to do now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] am confused with a situation with my girlfriend [20F] she lied about drinking.
POST: Hi I'm just looking for people thoughts on this subject. I'll try to make it short as possible. I'm just really stressed out.
I'll start by saying that she really isn't the type to cheat. She's never lied to me or done things behind my back before, so I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or not. It's just all sketchy to me because we also haven't had sex in 6 months because she's depressed she says.
But any way tonight my girlfriend of 4 years said she was going to her friends moms house because she bought a new house and wanted to show her. She acted like she didn't want to go but I encouraged her to go, so she did. We texted periodically and I could tell something was off, but thought nothing of it because she's the type that tells me what's going on. Any way she gets home and she's COMPLETELY drunk. Now, this is a big for us because we rarely drink, especially not without each other because we set that standard when we were early into our relationship due to her trust issues with me.
When I confronted her about drinking she admitted it but then became erratic saying she loves me and would never hurt me, also saying she is worthless and I don't care about her and I only want one thing (sex).
Now the part that legit makes me mad, is out of my frustration I asked her to show me the texts from her friend. She showed me her phone and she deleted every text from her, but only from her so that makes me think wtf were they talking about?.. She said she deleted the texts because she "knew I would do this".. I don't know what to think..
I'm laying here next to her passed out, not knowing how I feel. Should I be concerned? It's alarming due to this not being like her and because of our recent struggles. Idk
I just need to know if I'm being irrational about this. I'm considering breaking it off because of this and the dead bedroom. I'm just terrified because I've sacrificed all my friends for her. Job opportunities etc. She's literally my world. But I feel thinks are taking a downward spiral.
TL;DR: | she Lied to me about drinking, said she did nothing wrong. But deleted all evidence that could have proved that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trusting a fart while I was at work
POST: This one is pretty cut and dry...
Work in a very small office. When one uses the bathroom there is no question about whether it is 1 or 2. Thought since nobody was upstairs that I had clearance to let one rip. I immediately regretted that decision. A faster than usual dash to the bathroom probably alerted everyone downstairs that there was something amiss. As soon as I sat down on the toilet I reached for the tp so I could check the damage... 3 fucking squares left...3. Results from the first one indicated that this was going to be a fucking mess so I did what I had to do - folded that bitch in half and used it twice. Every square inch of clean white paper was going to be needed if I was going to get out of this without having to go home for lunch. By some miracle the last square indicated a clean surface but by this time I had been in there way longer than a #1. So nobody used the bathroom the rest of the day and I had to go downstairs and get more tp out of the closet in front of everyone just to put to rest any doubt in their minds as to whether or not pooping was going on. Little did they know....
TL;DR: | never trust a fart at work. It may work once or twice but eventually you will shart and when you do there will not be any tp for you. Because life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by accidentally calling my best friends girlfriend fat
POST: So to start, these two recently started dating. My friends (Lets call them Chris and Lisa) happen to both me my best friends. Just to show how much I fucked up with this one. So here is just the background for the fuck up:
So we went on a trip as a class group to the North of my country. This happened to be a trip where we would help build a house for the poor. It rained shitloads for days, so everything so there was mud everywhere. Me being the retard I am I only took one pair of sneakers which I'd also have to use during the night, so I decided to buy some wipes to clean my shoes. This idea basically made the fuck up.
All 3 of us were hanging out in my room, and I asked them for help cleaning. So gave them a shoe and some wipes. However they both decided to cuddle in front of the mirror, this kind of annoyed me since I really needed their help. Lisa said something, I was so into cleaning my shoe, like freaking hardcore cleaning the hell out of the shoe, that I answered "a little bit" without even understanding what she said. She storms out of the room basically really pissed. I was confused, then Chris says "Good job warman24, now I have to go after her". And I was all still confused here.
Until Chris comes back, I ask him what happened. And quoting; "Well, Lisa asked you if she looked fatter than me"
Now Lisa hates, gg me... I think I fucked up
TL;DR: | Was so into my future job (cleaning shit) that I accidently misheard my best friend's girlfriend and accidently said she was fatter than my bestfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my SO [22 F] She says shes fat and gets upset when I wont agree
POST: So I'm in a LDR with my GF of 6 months. I love her and she is amazing but sometimes she gets really upset about her weight and I cant say anything to make her feel better. Ive tried "you look beautiful," "you're sexy," everything I could think of even going into detail about why I like the way she looks but she wont buy it.
I bought her a really pretty dress and it came in today. She was really excited and when she tried it on it was too tight around her chest. She broke down and cried on skype and I felt like shit. Then she just muted her skype and turned off the video and texted me. She was like I know Im fat just admit it and kept going on. Of course I didnt but I still felt bad.
Honestly she is a little overweight but not enough to freak out. I think she is beautiful and love the features that come with the weight if you know what I mean. I could care less about how she looks thought because shes a freaking great person. I really just need advice on how to make her feel better.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend legitamettly thinks shes fat and nasty. Not just fishing for attention. Help me convince her she isnt please. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [15M] have been planning on telling a girl [17F] I liked her but just before I could another girl [15F] asked me out
POST: So, just yesterday I was planning on telling this girl, let's call her Gabby, that I liked her. She's really funny, she's stunning, and is really nice. So I'm in the band, and we have third quarters off, and I was about to tell her when this second girl, let's call her Hilary, pulled me off to the side and asked me if I wanted to go to a movie some time. Now, Hilary is a cool girl, but I don't really see her as someone I'd go out with. So far this isn't too bad. But Hilary and gabby are great friends and Gabby has been helping Hilary with asking me out. So if I tell Gabby I like her then she might tell Hilary and I'll feel like a dick because I said I'd go on a date with her (I didn't want to hurt her feelings). I'm afraid this will all blow up and I should give up on Gabby.
For clarity, I'm a sophomore, Gabby is a senior, and Hilary is a sophomore as well.
TL;DR: | I like Gabby, but her friend Hilary asked me out, so if I tell Gabby I like her then she might tell Hilary |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [F16] admitted to almost cheating on me [M17].
POST: Okay so my girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months now. Last night I was at home because I didn't feel like going to a party I just wanted to have some alone time. My girlfriend, however, went out with her friends. They ended up going to a party and getting really drunk. She was super wasted and didn't have that much control of her actions.
She told me that she was talking to a guy, who I consider being somewhat of a friend, and he wanted to talk to her alone. So they headed to a bedroom to talk, keep in mind this is what she said. It was than that he started to come on to her and told her that he liked her. He than tried to make her feel good so he could do stuff with her. She said that she was dating me and that she didn't like him and it was wrong. So she said that is what happened, also she said that when they went to sleep she ended up sleeping next to him with his arm around her next to her friends. He then texted her goodnight :)
I don't know how to feel about this people, I feel like she cheated on me, but in reality she didn't. She told me this today, and she said she felt horrible. She said not to talk to anybody about this at all. I feel like I lost some trust between her and I. Should i confront the guy even though my girlfriend said not talk to him about it? Should I trust her words? Should I take a break from the relationship altogether? I don't know guys...
TL;DR: | girlfriend got super drunk. Didn't have full control of herself. Talked to another guy alone and said nothing happened. Don't know if i can trust her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my sister [22F] she stole from me and we can't agree on a fair repayment?
POST: My sister went through a bit of klepto phase. She stole around £2,000 from me, either in pocket money, birthday money, technology, clothes, etc. I lost a Wii, Nintendo Ds, Xbox, £600 in cash, an iPod, make up, if it had a price she sold it to pay for things for her shitty boyfriend.
It took years for her to pay me back (she kept insisting she had no memory of taking anything, that I had sold my things (but not spent the money?) and any sort of lie she could spin to avoid blame. Eventually after threat of being kicked out she paid me £75 a month until it was all paid off.
The issue now is myself and my mother realised we forgot to add the cost of my xbox in that sum, and no one can agree on how she should pay me back for it.
I paid around £275 for it when I got it, but you can now buy them for around £50 (refurbished). She insists that because she stole a used xbox she should buy me a used xbox and that is a fair repayment, I think seeing as she stole almost £300 worth of goods she should fully repay the value of it when she stole it. I also think that recently the xbox 360 has become rather obsolete and if I wanted any new games I wouldn't be able to play them on there anyway, stealing an item while it is valuable and returning it when it's obsolete doesn't feel like a fair trade to me considering she had it for all the years I would've gotten my moneys worth out of it. Stealing something expensive and returning something useless doesn't sit well with me.
Who is being unreasonable? What's a fair way for her to repay me?
TL;DR: | my sister stole my xbox years ago and insists she should only have to buy me a used replacement, who's right? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How to get a new perspective when troubleshooting?
POST: I have a job as a Network Analyst, and its all about deductive reasoning, and (duh) analyzing.
After 5 years of doing it, I feel maybe im getting burned out. I used to go through each step as it was fresh in my mind, now its like my brain locks up after troubleshooting the familiar aspects. Then I have to turn to someone to remind me of the other steps.
Whats a good technique when you're getting stumped; to take a step back, and help redirect your perspective to get you back on track with making progress ?
Love you guys. help me! :P
TL;DR: | my brain is freezing up when I work. I forget stuff more often now then before. What techniques to use mid-day to refresh yourself? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[25M] ex[f24] cheated on me. It was a year back. I can't move on.
POST: My ex cheated on me during our relationship. Twice. First with her ex a year into the relationship. I forgave her. Next, a year later with a co worker. What followed was a shit storm of emotional confusion, me telling her shit and then apologising later when she was hurt. It's been a year. I should have moved on by now but I haven't. I have tried to be rude with her. Doesn't work. I feel so terrible later that I end up calling her and apologising. I have tried to forgive her and tell her it was all my fault (in a desperate attempt to get her out of my life). This made me feel pathetic and I feel terrible. The worst catch 22 in my life ever. A year after the breakup, I'm still emotionally tangled. I texted her today and told her that I want her out of life for at least 3-4 years (after convincing her how what happened wasn't entirely her fault and that she's a nice person blah blah. For those judging, I know that's pathetic)
I can't stand the fact that she might call or try to get in touch again. I value my time and don't want to waste even a second more on her. I just want some peace in my life. I want to be able to breathe normally, enjoy sun and rain and my life. And be able to work without worry. Any practical, workable solution to this conundrum reddit, please?
TL;DR: | Ex cheated. Twice. That was a year ago. And I still haven't been able to lose contact. I feel weak. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can I/Should I urge my wife to masturbate? No, wait, let me explain...
POST: We've been married for nearly 2 years. We've both only had a few sexual partners. Our marriage is great, the rough patches are lite and the compromises are aplenty.
Sex life? Pretty much terrible. Especially for, what some would consider, "newlyweds."
Don't get me wrong... the sex itself is stellar. Both of us are enthusiastic while we're doing it, and we both typically climax and finish together (which is glorious). We find one another attractive, we love each other, I'm a great husband, she's a great wife, yadda-yadda-yadda...
The issue is the frequency. I'm lucky if we get together once every three weeks (which, I realize, may seem awesome to some out there). Our typical stretch without sex is about two months. We've openly talked about it and recognize it's a problem for us. We're still a young couple and want to lead sexually adventurous lives.
Now, I would never, ever blame my wife for the infrequency; but, she tries her best to own up to it for a simple reason: she doesn't think about it. She loves having sex only when she's physically having sex. The rest of the time? It's a taboo, off-limits subject.
We have to plan on having sex. It has to be, essentially, asked for several hours in advance.
The masturbation thing? My wife doesn't masturbate. She's said that she hasn't even tried. My logic, and forgive me if it's horrifically flawed, is that sex simply isn't a part of my wife's regular health. She veers away from playing with herself and, therefore, never gets up the gumption to be independently sexual. The private pleasure of sex is basically foreign to her.
TL;DR: | To put it plainly, I'm thinking that masturbation will make her more aware of intercourse, more often aroused and more regularly excited for sex. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (F21)My boyfriend(M25)'s best friend(F23) is his ex. I am just wondering if anyone else has been in the same boat.
POST: We are still fresh into this relationship(about 5 months) and I am just asking for advice and stories of those who have been in the same situation and how they felt about it and handled it.
This is pretty much the only thing I keep questioning about in our relationship. Everything else has been pretty amazing so far. I also don't know if it matters or not, but they stopped dating only a few months before I came into the picture and they still hang out about 3 times a week. I am just asking, is it worth it? How have you guys learned to control negative thoughts and feelings about the situation?
Thank you in advance.
TL;DR: | Boyfriends best friend is his ex (they broke up a few months before we got together) and I need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [20m] am infatuated with her [20F]. She says she is in an open relationship. What does this mean given the info I provided? Can (should) I win her over?
POST: Some information for you guru's:
* We are both in college.
* 6-8 weeks before college starts again.
* We have admitted each attraction to each other.
* We have hooked up several times.
What I am wondering is, what the common meaning for an "open relationship" is to women. The girl and I have discussed this and we both arrived to the same page that she still has feelings for this other individual. However, due to circumstance they have broken up (she calls him her ex) and have decided to see other people while they are apart.
I told her that I have just ended a 6 month relationship with someone that I simply lost passion for. I care for the person as a friend and as a human being but no sparks or feelings are felt by me any longer, so I decided to not fake it and end it.
We both agree that we are not planning/seeking an immediate boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (although I would really like to). Although, we both agreed that we like relationships to develop naturally and without plan (a.k.a. "go with the flow"). However, during this entire talk, I noticed an uneasy or "shaky" tone in her voice (phone call). She seamed scared of what I would say or think.
Given this information, what does an open relationship mean?
Is it possible to develop intense feelings for each other if she says she still has feelings for her ex. Is it socially/morally wrong to win her over?
TL;DR: | A girl and I have intense sexual feelings for each other. We have acted upon them and agreed to continue to do so. However, she is an open relationship with someone else. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what's the best advice you've received that put life into perspective?
POST: I worked at Subway in high school. There was this god-awful coworker (who I'll call Fritz, because that's his name) that couldn't get along with anyone, but especially me, which is weird, because everyone got along with me very well (and always have; I'm a pretty social, kind-hearted person).
Fritz picked fights with me often, was a dick to customers, told me how to do things different from the way managers told me (he worked there a long time but was never put into manager status because of his attitude), and I got into trouble a few times for closing early or following what Fritz said so he wouldn't get mad at me and I ended up getting thrown under the bus for it.
Well, one day, my boyfriend broke up with me. I was really serious about this guy, and we had been dating for a long time, and I was heartbroken.
One day, I'm getting emotional at work about our break-up, and Fritz turns to me and says,
"You know what, SlutRapunzel? Here's the thing nobody tells you: that guy doesn't matter. The people you know in high school that hurt you and you have to see everyday now might seem like a big deal, but it's not. You'll be off to college soon enough (I was a senior) and you'll meet new people and have new experiences and that guy? You won't give a single shit about that guy. College is on its way, and everything will be okay. Now go change the music to Mika and rock out."
TL;DR: | my shitty co-worker that hated me reminded me that high school and ex-boyfriends don't matter and introduced me to Mika. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by speaking to my manager
POST: I suppose a bit of backstory is necessary.
Currently, I am a contract driver for Pizza Hut. The job on average pays less than minimum wage, so when I was offered 12/hr next door at an organic grocery market I jumped at the chance, and gave my notice.
Today, I was sent on a delivery fairly far away. When I arrived at what the receipt *said* was my destination, I realized I obviously wasn't in the correct location, so I called the customer. They proceeded to tell me that they weren't anywhere near where I was, and that they were way off somewhere 10 minutes away, significantly out of our delivery range.
I deliver the pizza anyway, and go back to the store. I'm sent on two more deliveries by my manager's daughter, both of which I was given incorrect addresses for.
I return to the store fuming, and walk up to my manager. I decide getting angry wouldn't be the smartest course of action, and attempt to sound like I'm joking around (I was fairly successful at hiding my annoyance, I think.).
"Please, for the love of God take your daughter to have her hearing checked out, haha."
I put on a big smile, and look at her, waiting for a positive reaction.
My manager frowns, and looks fairly hurt, before saying:
"Why don't you go tell that to my daughter over there with her auditory dyslexia?"
At this point, my heart drops into my stomach, and I'm completely fucking lost for words. I manage to stammer out something along the lines of "oh god, I didn't know I'm so sorry", before I turn to leave.
... And nearly walk right into my soon to be boss, the owner of the store next door, who heard everything.
He didn't say anything, but holy shit.
I took my next delivery and got the hell out of there. By the time I got back, they had all gone home for the night.
TL;DR: | I unknowingly insulted my current manager's daughter who has severe dyslexia in front of my soon to be boss. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by talking to a Doctor
POST: So, I'm in my clinical phase of Physician Assistant school, which means that I spend anywhere from 2 - 6 weeks with one doctor and then switch to a new one. This means that I have to make a ton of good impressions within a short span of time.
Well, I was doing my first day with an older doctor who was planning on retiring soon, so I started to ask him questions about where he was going to go after he finished working. He relayed to me that he was moving to Florida and that he had already put an offer on a house within a retirement community. When he was finished with his story this exchange occured:
Me: "That sounds great, are you taking your wife with you?"
Him: "My wife has been dead for six months."
Internally I am cursing my terrible luck. Later I told people who had been here longer about the exchange and they would say things like, "oh, no one told you?" or "I meant to tell you that."
A little late, jerks.
TL;DR: | Tried to get to know my preceptor, ask him about his recently deceased wife on my first day working with him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/F] reacted violently to younger sister [17/F], unsure of how to talk to her
POST: *throwaway acc
This is probably the 5th time or so of me typing up the tense situation between my sister and I. Please forgive my spelling/grammar errors as I just want to make sure I post it this time and seek out advise to consider.
Last night, I struck my sister and hurt her quite badly (nothing broken or bleeding but there's quite some bruises). I don't remember specifics, other than the feelings of hot rage I had at the moment. Of course, I am overwashed with feelings of guilt and disgust. The issue we argued/fought over was minor but she dealt it with such disrespect towards me that I finally broke and lost it.
Relevant notes ?
* According to her, she doesn't respect me because I'm only 11 months older than her, is stupid in things that aren't school-related, has no common sense (such as road navigation), etc. (why any of this is cause for disrespect is beyond me)
* she continuously puts me down in front of everyone
* I often let her walk all over me because my mother hates it when we fight
Also, it's worth noting that I am bipolar but I am medicated and I've noticed my medicine doesn't work as well when my period is due (yes, I talked to my doc about this before. But will tell him it has escalated during my next appointment). As a result, my emotions tend to get out of control and I will start crying or get afraid at unpredictable times. I do need to struggle quite a bit to shift my focus back. I've never been a violent person towards others, even if I could be considered hot-headed. I feel that my lack of self restraint could be because of my medication not working as well, but I have to say I've always had these thoughts of just slapping her just to put her in her place.
I just need advice on how to talk to her, how to proceed after all this, etc.
TL;DR: | I hit my sister, I don't feel she deserved the violence. Don't know how to talk to her or how to carry on. Everyone is acting like nothing happened? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Boyfriend of 1 year and some change cannot seem to stop talking to other women.
POST: He is 23, I'm 20. He has cheated in the past but admitted to it, after a break I decided bygones are bygones, etc.
I have the password to his email and we share a laptop. One day he left his email logged on, and I saw some lewd emails from him replying to craigslist ads. This sparked my curiosity, and I have been watching ever since. You see, he's a sneaky kind of person. He withholds the truth but swears he doesn't try to lie. All that.
A week ago, I confronted him about the situation. To be clear, I don't believe he is acting on these emails at this point. I told him that it is unacceptable to be asking for a "twitter girlfriend", telling other girls that they are cute and otherwise flirting, and speaking inappropriately to other women was unacceptable. After his continual denial, he finally admitted to it and said that it was just us from now on.
Now, today, his email had a message about him replying to a female wanting a threesome before 7 today. I don't know where he's been all day, he said a friends, but he's a liar, as we've discussed. I don't know that he acted on this, he better not have, but he said he was "interested" in the ad. He came home, I've been cranky and tired so I have said nothing yet. I napped. :P
So, my questions are as follows:
1. Am I acting out of the area of appropriateness by stalking his email?
2. How do I proceed in this discussion?
3. Is it even worth the discussion, or do you all think this is not about to last?
Thank you everyone for your help!
TL;DR: | sneaky bf talking inappropriately/sharing pictures on craigslist, talking to other women inappropriately, lying, etc. Need to know if I'm going crazy or if he's worth the effort. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Coping with a break-up neither of us wants [24m/22f]
POST: My girlfriend [22f] and I [24m] have been together for two years. About a year ago, we moved to a new city together and got a place of our own and have had by all accounts a great time together.
Now the relationship is coming to an end. The whys are long and a pain in the ass, but suffice it to say that staying together is just untenable. We've agreed that this just isn't going anywhere and we're hurting ourselves by staying in the relationship.
The problem is that we're both still very much in love with each other and we're still living together. Needless to say, it's a sad household with a lot of crying. My question is: what can I do to make the next weeks bearable as we clean up all the loose ends to separate?
TL;DR: | my gf and I need to separate but still love each other. How can we make the separation bearable as we still live in the same place? |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Help! Cat wont get all the way in the litter box
POST: Where to start...? I've got a 14 yr old diabetic cat with the start of some kidney problems who started improperly urinating outside of the litter box over 6 months ago. Her diabetes is under control now but she's still peeing outside of the box. We tried just about everything you can think of: cat attract, adding another litter box, switching litter, moving the litter box to where she peed, getting a different litter box, pee pads, UTI treatment, you name it. She seems to prefer to urinate on soft things on the ground which is why the pee pads seemed like the best solution and she definitely prefers to use them. But when she's done, she folds them over like she's trying to burry it which means that when she needs to use it again, the plastic side is up and its ineffective. We've tried taping them to the floor but she doesn't like using them as much.
Her previous litter box was open top box with high sides because she pees over the edge. We placed a stool next to it for her to step on to get in and out of the box. We suspected that she's got some hip pain which is why she prefers peeing on ground-level things so we made out own litter box out of a large 1.5ft x 3 ft storage bin with a hole cut in the side for her to walk in and out of. Its massive so its not like she doesn't have enough room. The bottom is covered in litter in the back 2/3 of the box, but when she pees she will just put her front paws in the litter and pee on the plastic base which she steps in when she leaves the box. Perhaps she doesn't like being confined in a litter box? Whats annoying is that she'll poop in the back of the box on the litter. We really don't know what to do at this stage. We've had to keep her locked in the kitchen when we're not around to make sure she doesn't pee on the rugs, couch, etc (which she's done in the past) which really isn't a good solution for her. Any suggestions? We're desperate!
TL;DR: | cat pees outside of litter box, likes peeing on floor-height things, can't find litter box solution. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24F] friend's [24F] boyfriend [27M] is exhibiting some signs of potential domestic abuse
POST: My friend Kiara has been dating Harry for about five months. Our group of friends (myself included) did not like him from the beginning. He was very cocky, self absorbed, and frankly often made sexist comments. He's also an angry drunk and has gotten into multiple fights with random guys at bars for looking at him/Kiara the wrong way. He's a total asshole.
Things have only gotten worse. He's starting to exhibit signs of domestic abuse. He is incredibly controlling and blows up her phone whenever she's out of sight. He never lets her spend the night without him. He's come and picked her up from places when she's been hanging out with us and not checking her phone messages.
He spends a LOT of money on her, and often uses that as leverage to get what he wants. He's mean to her family. He's mean to us. He's a complete psychotic jerk but he's so sweet to her when he want's to be and her emotions are being completely manipulated.
We've tried to talk to her in many ways, as a group and individually. She gets incredibly defensive whenever anyone mentions anything negative about him, often citing that we never liked him from the beginning so we're biased, and that he's great all the time when they're alone and we just haven't seen it.
Has anyone else been in the same situation? I just don't know what to do. I am genuinely scared when he's around, and I see less and less of her every week. She's slowly slipping away from us and I don't know how to stop it.
TL;DR: | My friends boyfriend is controlling, manipulative, and abusive. He's terrible for her and none of us like him, but she will not listen to us when we try to talk to her about it. How can we help her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: In love, but I think I need to be single in college.
POST: My boyfriend (18) and I (F18) have been together since November 2010, with a three month break last summer. I love him, and I know he loves me, and we're heading to the same college next week. It wasn't planned that way, it was just the least expensive university that wasn't in our hometown.
I'm starting to wonder if it would be better to be single in college. Everyone I've talked to thinks so. The problem is, I can't just dump him. I tried that at the beginning of summer when I was starting to feel neglected, and he was banging down my door to get me back. Mix CDs, endless phone calls and texts, asking my best friend where I was so he could find me. I took him back because I still had feelings for him, but I kind of regret it now.
He is extremely attached. We lost our virginities to each other, and it meant more to him than it did to me. I feel trapped.
Part of the reason I think we need to break up is I have a different social life than he does. I party very little, he likes to party a LOT. I will feel uncomfortable knowing he is at a frat party while I'm in my room, doing homework.
TL;DR: | I think I need to end it (for good) with my boyfriend of 17 months. He won't let me go, even if I try. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [42M] with my girlfriend [40 F] of 2 months, I'm worried about taking on step-kids
POST: Terri and I have been dating for two months and have been exclusive for one month. She's a little different than what I'm used to in that she's a Christian (I'm an atheist) and is very inexperienced sexually. But those issues are ones I think I can handle. What's bothering me is that I'm going to meet her three kids this weekend and suddenly I'm having a minor panic attack at the idea of being a step-dad again.
I put a lot into being a step-dad when I was married and I don't think I can do that again. Living in a house with a bunch of kids that aren't mine does not sound appealing to me. Plus, I like focusing on my own daughter.
So, my question is this: Am I jumping too far ahead in my mind or am I being smart and thinking long term? I really like Terri and if the kids were out of the picture I could see us eventually getting married.
TL;DR: | Prospect of being a step-dad again is scaring me. Should I break up now or see where things go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I have trouble getting over someone across the country from me
POST: About 3 years ago I started talking to a girl that lives in Utah (I live in North Carolina). She was a really good friend to me and I was in a dark place in my life at the time. I had basically been bullied throughout 9th grade by a girl just because I liked her and a bunch of other things happened and she had actually been going through a rough home life. She was a good listener and actually made me feel good and understood for once. We stopped talking after about a week because she was being harassed and had to get rid of her phone. We started talking again after a few months and evidently we weren't even supposed to be talking according to her parents and we got even closer during this time. Thanksgiving came around and her dad finds out and we stop talking once again. This absolutely destroyed me. For more than two years, I struggled with being let her go and cried at night because I missed her so much. Last week, we once again started talking and this time she pays for her own phone and we don't have any parents to worry about. She has a boyfriend and I still have feelings for her and I told her and she said she feels bad about the whole situation. I've been trying to get better and meet other people but part of me still has those feelings for her. I know I shouldn't feel this way about someone I've never even fucking met and someone I can't have but I do.
TL;DR: | Met a girl that lives on the other side of the country. Started talking on and off and we got really close and I developed feelings for her. She has a boyfriend and I can't seem to let her go. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Husband confessed that he blacked out and woke up in bed with a woman [m32/f30]
POST: I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do. I love my husband so much. We've been married 4 years. Been together for 6.
The other night he went out with his friends and didn't come home until super late. I had been calling and texting him because I was worried (it's not like him to not check in). When he finally did come home was really drunk and kept apologizing. He said he woke up at his friends house and freaked out because he had "blacked out". He had called a cab and came home. The next few days I knew something was weird. He was acting unusual. I kept pressing him, and he finally confessed what happened that night.
He actually had blacked out from drinking, and woke up in some random girls bed. He said he doesn't remember anything and that he doesn't even know what she looks like. I asked if he was wearing his clothes. He said no. He said that he doesn't know how it happened. That it was like a nightmare. That he thinks that maybe he could have even been roofied (sp). That he was "insane".
I'm glad he told me, but I wish he wouldn't have lied initially. When he told me he was crying, I've never seen him so broken up. I've never seen him cry. He does seem legitimately apologetic.
However, I feel so hollow. I'm angry, and sad, and lonely. He says he loves me, and he wants to make it work.
How do I trust him again? I really want to, but all I can think about is him in bed with some random woman. I saved myself for him. IT FUCKING HURTS.
He's calling to get us into marriage counseling. Can we ever get through this??
he's a redditor, so he will probably see this... even though it's a throwaway account.
TL;DR: | I don't know what to do about [see subject line]. Thoughts? Help? Any words of wisdom? How do we get past this? Can we? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (f/32) had an awesome date with a guy (m/36), amazing kiss at end, text next night thanking me, then went silent.
POST: I went out on a lovely date with a guy on Sat. night, we had a lot of fun. He was a gentleman, insisted on paying for everything, was turned to me the whole time, and was being a bit flirtatious and had his arm around me for a bit towards the end of the night, etc.
After talking about birthdays, I learned that his is today (Monday), and that he'd be having minor surgery for something this Weds.
At the end of the night, he kissed me, which left me pleasantly surprised and pretty stoked. It was a good kiss.
Last night I got a text from him telling me that he had fun, thanking me, and said he was about to watch a movie I'd recommended to him. I was only able to respond an hour later. I said Hey! same here. and then I told him to let me know what he thought of the movie, with a smiley face.
No response.
This afternoon I decided to send him a quick, sweet birthday message, just wishing him a happy bday, saying that I hope he enjoys his day, xo. Immediately after, I saw the iMessage speech bubble denoting that he's typing a message, and it was up for a good few minutes. Suddenly, it disappeared, but there's no message (I was at home, perfect signal/connection), which means he was typing something, but then didn't send it.
I'm kind of weirded out that he didn't even reach out to say "thanks!", esp after my message to him last night.... How do you think I should proceed from here?
I was thinking of sending him one more msg tomorrow, only to wish him well on his surgery, and to say that I hope he had a good day on his bday (if I got the day correct, which I'm 99.9% sure I did).
Thoughts? Thanks. Just find it strange. Why is he incommunicado now?
TL;DR: | Lovely date on Sat. night, followed by kiss and text next night thanking me. I responded and wished him a happy bday today, he began typing but now has fallen silent. What gives and what to do now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [40M] have been dating my girlfriend [34F] for nearly 5 years. She says she's heartbroken that I haven't proposed. What do I do to make her love me again?
POST: I [40M] have been dating my girlfriend [34F] for nearly 5 years. I knew after a short time that she is the right person for me, but so many things have been happening in our lives that I have never felt it is the right time to propose.
Recently, in December last year, she told me that she feels hurt that we are not engaged. I have explained that I want to spend my life with her and have previously thought about proposing and even looked at rings, but the timing was not right because so many different things were going on in our lives and they still are.
We had a great relationship, but things started to slowly decline after we'd been dating for about 2 years or so. I thought it was because I was doing something wrong, but realize now it was because of what I wasn't doing.
Things have been very difficult between us over the last few months and she seems very unhappy. She says she's heartbroken that I haven't proposed and that waiting 5 years has made her feel rejected and unloved. She said that feeling rejected has killed her affection for me and that if I asked her to marry me now it would no longer feel special or be the type of proposal that women want because she has had to ask for it and would forever feel like we are only engage or married because she forced me into it.
What do I do to make it up to her? How can I win her affection back again? What can I do to fix things?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend of 5 years feels heartbroken because we are not engaged yet. How can I make her love me again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/m] Not sure how to deal with first girlfriend [19/f] for 2months moving away for college.
POST: So I've been seeing this girl for about two months.
We're both seniors in highschool and in about five months she is planning to move away for College. I'm not starting college until the next year (In 1year 5months) so I don't have to move anywhere.
I'm really serious about this relationship, but I'm not sure what she thinks about the future. How should I ask about if she wants me to move with her and continue the relationship or if she wants to break things of. I really want to keep going, and I see no problems on my behalf on moving together with her.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of 2months moving away for college. Unsure how to approach about if she wants me to move with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F/24] had let my friend/ex-coworker [F/26] borrow money. She still hasn't paid me back even after she promised she would
POST: So my situation is pretty much like what the title says. In late November, Cindy messaged me out of the blue to borrow money so she could pay her electricity bill. She PROMISED to pay me back the following weekend (December 5th).
However, several days later I let Cindy know that I was going to be busy on Dec. 5th and asked her what other day would be good for her to meet up. Cindy then messages me that she wouldn't have been able to pay Dec. 5th since she had to pay her rent. But she said would pay me the following weekend. (Dec. 12)
-----------------
And here we are. I haven't brought it up again in hopes she would, but she hasn't. Would asking her again make me an jerk? I feel like a loan shark, or I'm hassling her.
I know people have advised against letting friends borrow money. But thinking back: we always had each others' backs at my old job, I could always depend on her, and we were pretty close when we used to work together. I'd known her for a about a year. So I thought I could trust her. I let her borrow the money.
I was waiting to bring it up til after Christmas, if at all. I understand that she might be dealing with other bills or holiday spending for her family. I don't want to burn bridges with her. I still like her as a friend- but I still would like to be paid back eventually. How should I go about this?
TL;DR: | Friend hasn't paid me back money I had let her borrow. Unsure how to go about asking her for the money without coming off as an asshole, or if I even should |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I need about $3k more than I thought for reserve mortgage payments. Do some lenders let borrowers use investment accounts, or do I have to sell my stocks (at a loss) and cash in my 401k?
POST: Basically need advice - what would you do?...
I'm a first time buyer. I need a $3k more than I thought I did for reserve payments (after down payment, appraisal fee, inspection fee, etc. are covered.) I can comfortably afford everything if I cashed in a couple stocks (at a loss) and/or my 401k.
I've sold most of my stocks earlier this year, except two I'm at a loss at. I took a gamble on 2 IPOs last year, which didn't pay off. If I sold them both today they're worth about $5,000.00 total. I'd be all set. Problem is I really don't want to have to sell them at a loss (about -$800 total.) Especially just so the money can sit in my savings account.
I also started my 401k less than a year ago and only have about $2,300.
I don't know what to do! I don't want to sell at a loss or cash in my 401k account, but I need $3,000. Does anyone know if I can show my mortgage lender these accounts so I don't have to take a loss? Would you sell at a loss? Any advice/opinions help!
Important to note: I can afford the mortgage pretty comfortably with my salary alone. Also, the house I'm looking at is an income property with 3 units. Two units cover my mortgage. I'm living in the 3rd unit with a roommate, which is all profit if all units are vacant and tenants are paying on time. I know it sounds tight right now, but it's just because I found a great house that's a little more than I budgeted for, and want to make an offer very soon. - basically, no time to save $3,000.
TL;DR: | I don't have enough cash to show reserve payments and don't want to sell my stocks at a loss. Looking for advice or anyone who knows if I can use my investment accounts as reserve? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32 M]with my coworker [ 20s F] of a few months, her mom is dying this week
POST: Without giving away too much detail, her mom has stage 4 cancer and is in hospice for the last week of her life this week. I work with my coworker on quite a few projects together, but we don really know each other that well. I have only been here a few weeks. I want to offer up some comforting words, but I don't want to overstep into "too personal" territory. I have lost a parent, so I know what she is going to generally feel like for a long time, but I can't think of how to use that experience to her benefit.
TL;DR: | coworkers mom is dying. I don't know her too well, but we spend a lot of work time together. What is the right thing to say? |
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