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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU and tried to be a tough younger sister
POST: Okay so this happened just now, obviously a few minutes after we finished having dinner. My older brother (by only 11 months) was eating lasagne opposite me and blowing on a bit of it on his fork.
This would have been okay, but he was breathing *so loudly*. I waited a few seconds before he took in a deep breath and did it again, me getting more and more pissed. "It's not that hot!" I complained to him, resulting with him looking up and saying, "You try eat a piece from the middle."
Y'see Reddit, this is where I fucked up.
Okay, easy challenge, right?
No. Dear God no. I took a big bite of it right from the middle and began chewing it, maintaining eye contact. I ignored the burning sensation and stopped myself from making any face to show how it didn't burn.
Finally the lava was successfully eaten, I took a drink and excused myself, letting the victory show.
My tongue is burnt and I'm pretty sure I've killed my tastebuds.
TL;DR: | I won a challenge set by my brother to eat hot just-out-of-the-oven lasagne, resulting in a badly burnt tongue. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Would You Describe Me As Clingy, Women Of Reddit?
POST: So, my ex-girlfriend broke up with me because shr said i was "clingy". I really just think i was a good boyfriend...
So, heres what i would do:
Talk to her as much as i could after class etc(she was really shy)
Hang out with her as many times as possible. I ask her when she could hang out and that we should more often.(again she was really shy)
When i couldnt talk to her or hang out with her, i would text her all day.
I am also pretty shy around cute girls... But i tried to tell her he was beautiful everyday.
I got her locker combination so i could sneak in and give her presents for her birthday, christmas etc.
I urged her to tell her parents (we were 14) so she didnt have to hide it.
I held her hand.
I cuddled with her when we watched a move(we only got to do this once and it felt like she didnt know what to do so i kept like hinting her. I asked her later and she said her mind elsewhere.)
Anyways, when she broke up with me, (over text of course) he said i wa clingy... I was going to break up with her that day anyways. I was going to tell her to put more effort into the relationship. But, when i tried to tell her, her friend cut me off and she ran? Whatever... So, Women of Reddit, am i clingy, or just a really good boyfriend?
TL;DR: | i felt i was a good boyfriend and she said i was clingy. It hit me hard for somereason and i need reassurance. Read the things i did above(seperates into small paragraphs) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My (34/m) girlfriend (26/f) invited another guy to Christmas dinner with her family, and I don't know if it's unreasonable to be upset or not
POST: So the basic background is this... My girlfriend and I are both foreigners in the country we live in... I have been planning to go to her country for Christmas, which would be the first time that I meet her friends and family. I've really been looking forward to this.
Today she tells me that this other guy she knows will just happen to be in the country over that same time period, and she invited him to Christmas dinner without talking to me about it first. She says it would just be for Christmas dinner, but I'm worried that this would evolve in to having a spend a lot more time with this guy around as a 3rd wheel... So then the first time I'm meeting all these people in her life it will be in the same context as some other random dude hanging around. I don't consider this guy a threat, but I do know that he has been interested in her in the past.
Another problem is that we'll be in a LDR for the next few months due to some work assignments, and we'll only be able to see eachother for a limited time, so now I'm in the position of having to share my girlfriend with some guy during the limited time we actually have to see eachother, and have him around during a really important time when I'm trying to make a good impression on her family and friends.
I really don't know if i'm being unreasonable or not. If it's just for Christmas dinner, fine, I can live with that, I wouldn't want to be alone for the holidays either... But if this actually turn in to this dude hanging around the whole time, which is my worry, then I'd be really disappointed with the whole situation. I don't know Reddit, please give me some perspective.
TL;DR: | GF invited some dude to spend time with her family and with me over Christmas without consulting me first, and it makes me uncomfortable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25/M] have no emotions when things go wrong in any relationship/life, and I know I'm not crazy.
POST: Throwaway cause of the usual reasons.
I'll put this in point form cause that's how my brain likes to operate.
- If she's breaking up with me, I feel nothing. I've been broken up with 7 times, and I've simply said 'Ok' without asking for a reason. Obviously this causes issues, as they think I don't really care... Well you're breaking up with me, so I won't grovel to get you back.
- When women show interest in me *happens rarely*, and I simply have a dazed look as if nothing special is happening. I just assume it never happens to a guy like me. I'm not attractive, but I'm tall so maybe that's all they care about.
- I'm an ok communicator, but I tend to stop caring regardless of who it is if they don't understand me the first time. I just see it as *If you don't get it now, you won't get it later*.
Only benefit I have for this type of behavior is when I approach women. If I'm rejected *happens A LOT*, I just walk away without feeling anything.
I know it isn't normal to just not care, and I'm not some psychopath *I promise*.
Some of you may say "You just need to wait for the right person". I'm like this with my family/friends as well, so I'm very doubtful of that. Also you may think I have a lack of confidence, I'm actually quite extroverted and always like being out there in a crowd of strangers talking to any one.
What the fuck am I suppose to do?
TL;DR: | Never care/show any emotion when something goes wrong, and people take it the wrong way. I'm fucked at this point when it comes to women, and I don't know what it is that causes me to not care. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] have an extremely narrow aesthetic preference with guys and I think it comes from an odd place.
POST: I'll preface this by saying I've dated all types of guys across all racial backgrounds, heights, and body types and find many types of guys attractive.
However, when I think of a guy I'd *ultimately* want to end up with, I have such narrow aesthetic specifications. I've already dated a guy that is my personal 10 out of 10 and hit all the physical preferences on my mental checklist. The problem is, he was abusive and he was also my longest relationship, so after I broke up with him I dated guys that did not look like him at all. These fizzled out due to me not being attracted enough to them.
Afterwards, I'm realizing that I want someone who I also consider to be that 10/10 attractive to me, and that person fits the same characteristics as my ex. I'm wondering if it's weird that I still really gravitate towards guys that look just like my ex in a doppelganger way? I've always liked his specific look even before I met him so I'm not sure if this is just natural preference that I failed at rejecting or if it's some mental imprinting and is actually unhealthy. Maybe I just figure if I know I can get someone I consider a 10/10 then I should hold out? I'm not sure if this is logical or if I have a mental glitch.
TL;DR: | Is it odd to have such a narrow aesthetic preference in guys that you gravitate towards people who look the same, even if this means they will look like your abusive ex? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Me [29/m] and my ex [21/f] are hearing/texting each other and we planned to see each other again. What's next?
POST: After a 2 years relationship, she broke up and we went nc for 1 month. Then she contacted me again and now we hear each other on the phone occasionally and text on a mostly daily basis.
In the last phone called we planned to see each other again. No promises involved, but we simply told each other that it would be nice to see each other on a weekend evening.
Right now she is pretty stressed by her classes and exams and during the week i am also pretty busy because of my job, so it's quite problematic to setup a date.
How would you guys handle the situation? I really want her back and try to work out on our past mistakes in the relationship
TL;DR: | ex gf started contact after a month of nc. We agreed to see each other again on a date but it's difficult to plan because of our lifes. How to handle this occasion to go back together? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19M) told my girlfriend (18F) that I love her, she didn't say it back. Should I be worried?
POST: Basically what the title says. I told her I had to tell her something in person, we met in my car, talked. I told her how I felt, she said thanks and smiled...
But she didn't say it back, I told her before she didn't have to, that there was no pressure but obviously I was hoping to God she would. We talked some more after and she said she wasn't weirded out at all which is good, things weren't awkward after I said it. We've been in a relationship 6 months now.
What does this mean? Should I be worried? How is the relationship going to change now?
TL;DR: | said I love you to Gf of 6 months for first time, she didn't say it back. Should I be worried? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What little white lies have you told in order to make someone feel better?
POST: About 4 years ago my family lost our house to foreclosure, because they took a ton of money out of the house to pay for their business (I'm 16, parents business). Today we were talking about it, and they asked me if I liked the new house better than the old one (we are renting right now), and in reality, I really missed our old house and liked it a lot more, but I knew that if I said that it would really hurt my dad because he's been working really hard with the business to make sure that I have a bright future. So I instead told him that I really enjoyed the new house, and I could see that it made him happy to hear me say that.
TL;DR: | Lost house to foreclosure. Told dad that I liked new house better to make him happy, because I know how hard he's working for my future. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (19m) Girlfriend (18f) of 2 years may have endometriosis, and I'm not sure what to do.
POST: As a disclaimer I don't claim to have any knowledge about endometriosis besides the amount a base level of googling gives you. So anything that isn't correct, please let me know.
I understand we seem quite young, but we have talked at length about this, and we both want a family when we are older and in a good place financially. We both love kids and I think she would make an amazing mother, and she believes I would make a good father. So it definitely is something we both want.
My girlfriend went to the doctor for her severe cramps during her period awhile back. Like crippling, fall on the floor pain. The doctors said it might be endometriosis, but would need exploratory surgery to know for sure. I read up on it and one of the things it can cause is infertility, which scares my girlfriend immensely.
I talked to her and asked her why she hasn't had the surgery, but she just shuts down whenever I bring it up. She gets really quiet, wont really look at me, and just in general zones out. She explains, after some coaxing, that she is terrified of surgery. She doesn't want the scars and she doesn't want to go under anesthesia.
I can't seem to convince her that there are basically zero downsides (according to everything I have read). No matter what, I feel awful for bringing it up and it is eventually just dropped, we move on, and she is her normal fun self again. I'm not sure what to do.
I genuinely love and care for her, more than anyone I have ever known, and this is definitely not a deal breaker for me. I'm going to stay by her side with our without kids. I just want what's best for her, and I believe this is. Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | me and my girlfriend want kids later in life, but endometriosis threatens that. She is deathly afraid of surgery and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: He [22] promised we would stay friends with me [20]
POST: Me 20/F and my ex 22/M dated for a year (this was a while ago). I came to the realization that we weren't right for each other in that way, but I was panic-y because I didn't want to lose him as a person I valued in my life. So prior to breaking up, he promised me numerous times we would stay friends and that he would always be there for me- this made the break up easier. Since then (closer to the break up time but far away enough to heal) I've tried briefly initiating small conversation to build a friendship. His replies were one worded. At some point I said ok I won't bother him, I'll wait for him to reach out to me. It's been a long time, I want to say half a year and I haven't heard a peep out of him.
I'm not like super upset over it, I rarely think about it, but when I do- I can't escape the gnawing curiosity as to why he has never ended up reaching out to me. I definitely know it's not because he found another girl (I won't go into detail why I know this). My friends keep saying it's because he was ashamed that he "couldn't give me everything I needed", but that sounds like bullshit. Even shame fades after this fucking long, and all I wanted was to keep this wonderful person in my life. What do you think could've happened?
TL;DR: | ex-bf promised to be friends forever even after we broke up, haven't heard from him in half a year. why? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29F] have been hanging out with a great guy [28M] with herpes. Need advice on what to do?
POST: Hi girls. New to Reddit, long time lurker but I really need some advice as this is a topic I haven't been able to discuss with anyone.
I started dating a guy this last few weeks we haven't done anything but kiss. But we've spent a ton of time together the past few weeks and he told me a week or so ago he has genital herpes. He says he only had one mild outbreak and physically it's been nothing but mentally it's upset him a lot. He's really handsome, has a good job and we click like no one I've ever clicked with before. But obviously I don't want herpes. I know it's common and manageable but I don't know how to proceed.
Anyone ever been in a similar position? I like him a lot and don't know if I should leave him and move on or find a way to make it work with the proper precautions. Any advice please or someone been in a similar situation?
TL;DR: | dating a guy who told me last week he has the herp. I like him more already in a short time than anyone I've dated before. I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 F] with my on and off boyfriend [26 M] of 1.5 years, can't get over him
POST: "Been" with a guy on and off for over a year now. We will date and then it gets fucked up because we are not good together, then after the break ups i start to get strong (i suffer from depression and severe anxiety) then i will see him out and then we sleep together and i fall back into needing him, but he doesn't like me.
Last night I ran into him and we slept together and he called me by another girls name while we were having sex and I went nuts. Then he tried to apologize and, once again, called me by her name. It was a night mare.
He lives down the street from me and he is everywhere I go (for the most part) and i can't get him out of my head. I mean..i'm in love, but he is not. This process has been going on for over a year now. I feel and look like a fool.
Should I get out of town for a month? (i don't have the money, but if that is something you guys think might work i could figure it out)
i just am running out of options here.
oh, and i see a therapist, but she just doesn't know what to tell me.
TL;DR: | Can't let my ex go...we keep having sex. I love him, he doesn't love me. Everytime i run into him it starts all of the feelings again. Going crazy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Probably got the job...but...
POST: I'm having a really bad gut feeling about this job. I feel really bad about turning it down, though, because it's a good ~25k increase in my current salary (roughly same location as my current job, too).
I'm currently a software engineer, this new job is also a software engineer position. The job would involve a lot of support work with legacy systems (think COBOL), and some development work. They wanted to start new projects that would involve some of the languages/skills I use, however, they couldn't ask me any interview questions about it, because they weren't familiar enough with those technologies (these were other software engineers interviewing me, too). In fact, they didn't ask me ANY technical questions, just talked to me for a bit, looked at my resume, and said "yup, you are our best candidate, definitely" and that was it. I asked them a few technical questions about how things are run/set up (version control? Tests?, etc etc) and it was kinda bad. There doesn't seem like there would be anything for me to gain besides more money.
Another weird thing was that they asked me a question like "are you sure this job will interest you?" and such. When hiring manager came in and said I was their best candidate, he said in a sort of sarcastic way "Not sure how good that is to you, just know what you're getting yourself into, rofl"
Main reasons for leaving my current job are low pay and generally kind of bored. I also didn't like my boss that much either and hated the job partially because of that. However, we very recently got a new boss, and since then, things have been getting MUCH better. If I stay at my current job, I'll at least have a couple more new things to add to my resume. The new job? Eh…….. I guess the best thing I can see happening is me showing off my skills. Maybe if I do really well, they'll make me a manager, but I won't gain anything in return, and that's not good at all. I kind of hope they reject me so I don't need to feel the pain of turning down a high paying job lol.
TL;DR: | Might get a job offer, but have a bad feeling about the job. They don't really seem to have their shit together. It pays a lot better. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 'Friend' (24f) of mine (24f) has taken to digging up pics from when I was overweight and showing my bf (25m), how to handle it?
POST: I'm 5'7 and used to be 219 lbs. That was 5 years ago. Today I'm 130 lbs. A little while ago, I met an old friend from high school, in high school I was basically the fat unattractive girl most people ignored, I had a few friends though and she was one. Looking back I realize our 'friendship' was her keeping me around to make herself look better.
She was quite good looking, but constant chain smoking and getting drunk every other weekend for almost 5 years have left her looking about 15 years older. I'm no model, but after having lost the weight that I did as well as getting my braces taken out, acne cleared up and started dressing well I do look so much better than I used to.
Last year I met a guy and we started dating, it's been great. He met my parents and he and my older brother really bonded over video games. I met my old friend however some time ago and the difference between us was well, really in your face. She also met my boyfriend who was with me at the time. She and I agreed to hang out though, it was alright but that night she made some comments about me moving up in the world and the old me would never have gotten a guy like my boyfriend.
Then the other night she messaged my boyfriend some pictures of me on facebook saying haha look how throwawaylostsomelbs used to look, careful her inner fatty decides to make a come back.
How to handle this? Especially since my friend is now sort of integrated into my own friend group (she knew someone else who is in the group)
TL;DR: | lost tons of weight, got kinda pretty, old friend who let herself go messaged my bf old pics from when I was fat and had bad acne, we share a friend group |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: hey college graduate redditors i need gift advice
POST: My younger sister and her fiance have both recently graduated college and are looking for "real" jobs, etc. I'm curious at that age (22, 23) would you rather have a gift to open at Christmas or a few gift cards so that you can have fun night out together?
I know that date nights don't happen as often for them now that she's looking for work and not receiving financial aid at all and maybe being able to go to dinner and the movies would be better than a sweater or whatever. The gift cards are something my sister mentioned to me as an idea for a joint present for them as well as a board game (when did those things get so expensive?!?) that they both want. I'm not exactly rolling in the dough this year either but it is the first time I'm buying something for both of them.
TL;DR: | would you rather have a gift to open or gift cards that allow you to treat yourself to something you don't get to do much? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by changing teams
POST: This fuck up happened just a few days ago.
So, I decided on a glorious Saturday night that I was going to play some TF2 with my friends on a server that I regularly played on. I had paid for Donator benefits on this server because I enjoyed spending most of my hours playing on it. Usually the admins are quite nice and friendly to new and older players alike.
However, tonight just wasn't their night.
I was playing on cp_steel (A map that some might know for being infamously tricky to navigate and generally gets new players lost.) and we were losing badly, many people were getting lost and couldn't find the correct control points to defend. With our imminent loss over the horizon and my friend trying desperately to defend the last point, I thought I would try and be the 'Mr Funnyman' of the server.
Just before we lost, I switched teams to BLU so that I 'won' with them. After doing so, I jokingly typing 'GG everyone, GG' into chat. This caught the attention of an admin on the server, who was on RED Team when the game was finished and decided that people trying to have fun wasn't allowed. This admin, then decides to ban me from the server no less than a minute later after my traitorous team swap.
The ban resulted in me returning to the menu screen with a message popup saying that 'You have been banned for 100 000 hours. Reason: "No reason specified". Now for those who don't know, 100 000 hours equals roughly to around 4166 days of a straight ban. After reading this message, I basically had a ragequit from the game and haven't played it since.
TL;DR: | Played a casual game of TF2 with friend, tried to make a joke out of a loss by team swapping, ended up getting banned for 11 years. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28/M] have come to realize that I have feelings for someone who lives far from me.
POST: I've been regularly chatting and have developed a friendship with someone online over the past 6 or 7 months. We had been exchanging several messages a day for months until she abruptly stopped a few weeks ago to deal with some personal issues. That kind of sucked for me because I enjoyed chatting but I understand her need for some space to address some things that are outside my knowledge of her life. We've exchanged a few messages since then, me just being concerned and wondering how she's doing, but this whole thing has made me realize I have feelings beyond friendship for her. I've found myself thinking about her way too much and it's making me sick. I'm nauseous with anxiety about it. With concern for both her and myself, I don't have any relationship experience and don't know how to process these emotions. And I can't address it with her because I most certainly do not want to pile this on to whatever it is she's already going through.
The fact that she lives in another country from me is the worst part. I know that plenty of people have had successful long-distance relationships but even making the BIG assumption that she has similar feelings for me I really can't see it working at all given our particular circumstances.
I just don't know how to deal with these feelings and it's fucking me up a bit. I've dealt with a lot of anxiety in my life but now it's attached to feelings for someone I've never met or even spoken to and very likely have no future with. I know there's always a chance, but realistically it's slim. Is this a mess of emotion that I just have to put up with until it presumably fades over time? I really hate this current situation.
TL;DR: | I have feelings for someone with whom there is very likely no future and I have no experience dealing with emotions in a romantic sense. It's messing me up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Any woman I ever dealt with never gets along with my mother.
POST: It is honestly annoying. To be fair my mother has treated me like crap for most of my life. Not going to go into too much detail but I don't have the best mother in the world. I think a lot of females that I have seriously dealt with notices that and they try stand up for me when she does something cruddy. As much as I tell them not to they can never just ignore it and then boom, my mother and my girl are mortal enemies just because she spoke her mind.
My current girlfriend tried to do the same recently and now my mother swears up and down that she's bad for me,she's the devil, blah blah blah and that she's cutting me off until I can stop being brainwashed. I just hate how every time I get involved with someone it always ends up with my family cutting me off because my mother feels some type of way. To be honest my family treats me like crap, but I try to maintain the little relationship with them that I have. Just like the others, I tried to convince my girlfriend not to worry about meeting my mom or my family because I know how it will end, and just like I thought the same crap. My mother doesn't like anyone sharing their opinion about something they don't agree with because the moment they do she lashes out like a child and then words get shot back and forth and then this happens.
I just don't know what the right thing to do is anymore. I feel bad for cutting off my mother even when I know she's wrong, but I feel like I'll never be happy with anyone as long as she constantly tries to interfere with her shenanigans. I just don't know what to do. I haven't spoken to my mother in a week and I feel bad even knowing she's wrong.
TL;DR: | My mother is constantly destroying my relationships and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing my distancing myself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: No money for 5 months, need a loan (I don't qualify, but I can likely get a cosigner). Where can I get a loan and not get screwed over?
POST: Alright, so I am entitled to some decent money 5 months from now (100% sure thing). This is a problem although, as I absolutely must get money very soon (need healthcare otherwise I can't function, among NEEDing various other things). Thing is I have no job, no money, nothing to sell, and I have bad credit. I assume the only way I can qualify for a loan is by using a cosigner, but I have no idea where I would go (i.e what business/institution/bank/whatever) to get such a loan. It seems like 9 out of 10 sites online are scams, and my only bank account is with a bank that won't do personal loans for people like me no matter what.
If I don't get a loan, I am going to be astoundingly screwed over to the point that I'd be better off in prison. I really only need several thousand dollars, and in 5 or 6 months I can definitely pay it back all at once many times over. I do have some software I'm creating/created to be released in 3 months, so I may earn some money then, but still... same problems. I don't know anyone personally who can loan me money. I have no idea where to go for a legit loan that won't screw me over with ridiculous interest or hidden costs. Suggestions?
TL;DR: | Require money, don't qualify for loans but can get cosigner, can pay anything back in 5 or 6 months guaranteed, no idea where to go to get a legit no hidden costs loan. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M28] my ex[F28] that broke up with me called me couple of times and now wants to see me.
POST: we broke up 6 months ago - she told me that she doesnt love me the way i do but she doesnt want to lose me or some thing like that - the result was 6 months no contact and i was almost fine with it.
Last week she send me a text to ask me something i replyed and i though that was it. Yesterday she texted me again and asked if i wanted to grab a beer/dinner with her and catch up.
i dont know what to do, becasue i still have feelings for her. I am not sure if i can handle whatever this is - frendly meet up or god knows what.
TL;DR: | should i go meet her or should i find an excuse and miss it? Any female done that with her ex - i have no idea what to expect? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by asking my class to clap their hands
POST: Recently I've had really lazy and borring day at school, everyone looked tired both teachers and students. We had a really longish lesson which wasn't really interesting, at some point teacher stopped saying anything and cringed as he saw that one student felt asleep. Suddenly erything become really silent, there was no kind of a sound at that time. I had kind of a great thought to ask my classmated to clap their hands, so the sleepy guy would start clapping with us as he would start waking up. I whispered it to my class and as everyone (including teacher) had a pleasant face teacher started clapping with students. At that poing something really weird happend, everything started to disappear and replace itself with black nothing (if that makes any sense), then I also started clapping, while being really shocked with this situation. I somehow raised from the table to find out that I am the sleepy guy. It was really bizzare experience, though I find it cool.
TL;DR: | I tried to wake up a guy with my classmates and teacher by clapping. Then I realised that I fell asleep and I was the one being woken up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30M] with my GF [26F] - showing her nude pics to my close friend with GF`s permission.
POST: Hey,
so I (M30) have this fantasy that I share with my GF (F26) that I would show nude pics of her to one of my close friends. She is completely into it as much as I am. We are in a very satisfying long-term relationship and we like to try new things.
The thing is that I like to take nude pics of her and I have tons of them. Recently, we realized that we have this exhibitionism-like kink and we would like to share our privacy with someone we both trust and who would enjoy it as well.
I have never done or thought about anything like this before. On one hand it may sound a bit "insane", but on the other hand we feel really excited by this scenario. Do you guys have any experience with this kind of kink? Has anybody here done something like that? If so, do you have any stories to share or recommendations or tips for us or things to consider we may have not thought of?
TL;DR: | Want to show nude pics of my GF to my close friend, with GF`s permission. Any of you guys have done something like this before and have any recommendations for us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Weird situation - how to choose between two sisters
POST: I am a 41 y.o. Male, who used to be married (lost wife of 17 years to cancer 2 years ago). For the past 3 years, I've been cycling with two women (35/33) who are sisters. We were always close friends, but now I'm wondering if there could be something more.
Here's the tough part ... one of the two (let's call her Brandy) is really into me, but I'm more into the other sister (who I'll call Amy). Both are beautiful and funny, and leagues above any other woman I've known since meeting my wife. I could imagine being happy with either.
Since they are sisters though, if I express my interests to one it will kill my chances with the other ... who wants to be the second choice? This means if I ask out Amy, which is what I really want to do, then if she says No I'll lose my chance with Brandy. If I ask out Brandy, we'll have a great time, but part of me may wonder what it would have been like with Amy.
TL;DR: | want a relationship with one sister who may not like me, but her sister (who is still awesome) wants a relationship with me. Not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: New girlfriend after the big breakup
POST: After three years together, my girlfriend leave me 3 months ago for some random dude she met 3 times. She betrayed me and cheated me so I did not contact her in any way since. I convince myself she is a bad person and she better be out of my world, the hell with her ! As for me I am fine. But because it was hard staying alone after being three years with somebody, I started to dating that cute girl with big boobs I know since long time but never really talked to her. At the beginning I just wanna use her for sex and keep me company, sorry about that but that the truth.....I dont think we have much in common. Me 22, her 18, Me working full time with a house, her still at school and live with her parents.....I started to meet her friends, her parents, now the whole family......So we are in a relationship.....The problem is that I don't had any "love spark" with her, I am pretty sure neither her she had that spark. Is it right to start a relationship if we just "like" each other. I told her that I dont want to make longtime plan with her. And that truth, I dont see her living with me one day....Is it bad ? I see the term "rebound girlfriend" and I think that exactly what is happening.
TL;DR: | Started a new relationship soon after a long one, I just like her, I dont see any future with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Spouse [28M] of 2yrs threw out my [28F] stuff because I was too busy working.
POST: Anyone here works from home? I (28f) am one, with an online shop. Many would tell me i'm terribly lucky to be able to have flexible work time like this, but it's a challenge to juggle between housework and work tasks, and sometimes one must be sacrificed for another. It's easy to look like a slob when you're chasing deadlines. House in shambles, sweatshirts every single day, takeouts for lunch (or none at all) and one a week house-cleaning session (if you're lucky to get the time). It's even worse when kids entered the picture - less sleep, more missing deadlines and much, much messier house.
My spouse flipped his shit last night, when he saw I hadn't mopped the kitchen floor. He threw most of my stuff out with the trash, including the modem and my optical mouse, which is imperative for my business as most of my stuff is Web-based. I am fuming right now realising he hinted me to dumpster dive this afternoon without telling me what is in those garbage bags. He also locked me out of the bedroom last night, leaving me to sleep with my toddler, on the floor.
I really don't know what else to say. I do understand the house is a mess. I will try to keep a more frequent cleaning schedule, but I also need him to realize that lashing out like that is inappropriate and immature (also a waste of money). Any ideas?
TL;DR: | spouse didn't like me working from home because my house is in a mess, so he threw out my work stuffs. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by sprinting for icecream [NSFW]
POST: First reddit post and yes this did actually happen today.
So I was just casually watching Netflix. Pretty uneventful day other than family stuff. All of the sudden this crave for icecream strikes me. Since it had been a lousy day thus far I just sprinted to the freezer. The door was open and somehow I managed to hit the edge with my foot. I proceeded to jump on one foot to the freezer. Got it, went back and continued to watch. By the time most of pain was gone I noticed one of my toes felt colder than the rest. I took my sock off. Blood was fucking everywhere. I then wrapped it in paper towel and carried on eating ice cream and watching netflix.
By the time the episode was over I went to got myself cleaned up.
As I showered my toes in water the blood slowly dissappeared.
Only to reveal that my fucking toenail is gone. Yes you heard that right. The second furthest to the right on my left foot.
I have no idea how long it will take to grow out and I am actually ok with that somehow.
I will edit tomorrow once I have time. Thanks
TL;DR: | Craved icecream. Sprinted to the freezer and managed to smash my foot into door making my toenail falling off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [22M] My girlfriend [21F] was diagnosed with first stage cervical cancer, has taken up increasingly heavier drugs, continually distancing herself from me. We've been together for 4 years.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years. Some months ago she was diagnosed with first stage cervical cancer and doesn't talk about it much. She has started taking MDMA, Psychedelics(she doesn't even know what she's taking, she assumes a mix of stuff), and now she told me she is doing cocaine this weekend. She wants to have a big blow out before she stops her weekend partying. This has been going on for about 4 months now.
She is distancing me from her family, herself from my family, herself from my friends. She has also made a lot of new friends whom she doesn't want me hanging out with. We had a bit of a blowout yesterday, she said a large part of her doesn't want to let me go but she's really confused about shit.
She feels as if she doesn't fit in with my family or friends. Most of my friends are master's students, I am a university and college graduate, my parents both have honours degrees. Her parents are immigrants with less than highschool education, she has dropped out of university and college and is currently working a retail job. I love her regardless, even though we are two different people, she helps me grow as a person.
Reddit, I need your advice/opinions as I am stumped.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is diagnosed with Cancer, taking up hard drugs, distancing herself from me, still wants to be with me. Need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18M], moved to university in another country, friends with a flatmate [19 F] for 6 months. I'm falling for her and I'm scared we have nothing in common.
POST: Basically, I lived in the middle east for about 9 years, I was mostly surrounded by people from the UK and everyone had similar interests in music and T.V shows. Now that i'm actually living in the UK everyone is so different, including this girl i've grown close to.
A little back story: when I lived in the middle east I was always awkward with girls unless I was under the influence of alcohol, I had one relationship that lasted a month, but I still maintained a fairly active sex life. The last time I did anything sexual with a woman was March of last year (yeah, a long time, not much luck in Uni). My friends tell me i'm attractive, the people i've done things with have been attractive so i've started to assume I'm attractive.
So anyway, this girl is beautiful, but not in the generic blond-hair-blue-eyes-big-breasts-fat-ass kind of way. Since i've met her, she's changed the colour of her SHORT hair maybe 5/6 times, she's got piercings and she wears stretchers. She listens to K-pop and uses tumblr and she has a healthy body image.
I pretty much have nothing in common with her. Like, at all (I listen to Drake and the Weeknd, spend my time on reddit and occasionally browse 4chan (yeah 4chan+tumblr, not the best mix)). We've been on long walks and I somehow managed to keep it from getting too awkward, we also played through the entirety of amnesia together which was a blast. The thing I'm scared about is if we do end up getting together and we surpass the honeymoon stage, will our lack of common interests wreck the relationship or will we have enough time to develop some? I feel like we're already running out of things to talk about...
TL;DR: | Met a girl, hit it off, find it easier to talk to her than most girls, no common interests though, slowly running out of things to talk about, still can't stop thinking about her though. Like, ever. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16] with my boyfriend [17] are not seeing each other as much because we are both in school and I have a job. We do see each other but it seems like it is rushed or something comes up.
POST: I have been dating this guy for almost a year now. It has all been going well up until I got a job. Normally this wouldn't be a problem for most people but consider that we are both still in school and live with our parents. His parents are really chill and laid back while my parent are not. I have certain times I can see him and a certain amount of days I can see him.
I can also only go over to his house when a parent is there because my mom doesn't necessarily trust that I will "make the right decisions if an adult isn't in the house."
Both of his parents work so I can only go to his house on certain days. Funny enough, when I got the job I currently have, they scheduled my normal days of work to any possible day I could hang out with him.
It also seams like since I got this job, things magically come up every time I try to see him even if he has made a commitment to me. I have actually had to step in some of the times because he already had plans with me. I am so tired of this but I really love him. I just feel like we are rushed all of the time.
It also doesn't help that his mom makes him do things that makes him late or other wise not able to see me. He always has some excuse.
I have been able to switch one of my work days but I can't do much more or else I might get fired. I just don't know what to do. I feel so distant from him even though I need him the most right now. I have tried to talk to him about this.
Sorry this isn't my more collected or together post. I am not to ok right now considering something just happened and at this point I just need some help. I need advise. I really love him and I just don't want our relationship to fall apart because I do something like lash out in anger.
TL;DR: | I feel like I don't have any time with my boyfriend and work and school don't help; neither does family. Help I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24/f] dislike watching my boyfriend [30/m] play video games, but it's kind of our bonding activity
POST: I'm a hardcore gamer. I've played competitively and even work in the industry. I live with my boyfriend of 1.5 years who is an old school gamer and used to go to arcades and has all the OG gaming stuff (he played original Zelda but nothing after Link to the Past). He had kind of grown out of video games when I met him, but has since rekindled his love for them and is so amazed with how far along they've come.
Here's the problem - he's not very good. He's slow, he gets frustrated easily, he has trouble with mastering some more complicated parts of games, etc. The thing is, he is a genius, but a few years ago after undergoing chemo, he was left with [chemo brain] This means he has problems with memory and connecting the dots on seemingly simple tasks. In games, he's slower to figure out puzzles and finding out where to go. For example, we're playing Tomb Raider right now and it took him about 5-6 hours of gameplay to do what I did in about one. I'm not trying to brag about how amazing I am at gaming, but watching him can be excruciating. But he likes when I watch him play. He's expressed frustration before when I showed I was kind of impatient, saying how difficult it was for him to play. But I just can't do it anymore. Am I being a total bitch and should I just suck it up? Video gaming is my life, but watching him play is wearing me down.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend has some brain problems that make it difficult for him to play video games, watching him is frustrating for me but he likes it. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my boyfriend's friend [22 F] of 5+ years, I can't tell if she's jealous or tactless.
POST: Hey r/relationships, I just wanted to ask the internet if I'm going crazy here or hitting the nail on the head about my boyfriend's longtime lady friend. Just to preface my little rant, I'm not the jealous type; I trust my boyfriend 100% and I know he loves me, so this isn't about that. Anyway, on to the facts.
* Fact 1: My SO and I have been together for almost 4 years now and are talking about marriage and kids, the whole shebang.
* Fact 2: Ever since the start of our relationship, friend has been negative about it (she would make comments about how I couldn't expect much out of it because he wasn't the long-term type, would express hating any PDA we showed, etc.). She later blamed this on depression because she was in a LTR with her longtime boyfriend and has since gotten better about it.
* Fact 3: Boyfriend had to defend me several times early on to her because she would tell him "Bros before Hoes" if he would want to hang out with me or try to tell him I wasn't good for him (he has told her this is not okay, and the behavior has since stopped). She also expressed at this time that she worried I was "taking him away from" her.
* Fact 4: A couple of months ago, when I threw a birthday party for him, she compared it immediately to a party his last girlfriend threw for him. Saying I used the same decorations, it isn't the first time his girlfriend has thrown that type of party, etc.
These are just some of the examples I can think of off the top of my head, but I'll post more if I think of more. I'm honestly just looking for confirmation of my suspicions, because I don't like the way she acts towards me and I really have no idea what I did to deserve being treated the way I am. I've talked with boyfriend before about it (not about Fact 4, though), and he's said that it bothers him, as well, that she sometimes treats our relationship like it doesn't matter as much as theirs.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend's longtime friend seems to dislike me and our relationship. Am I just imagining it? What should I do to fix this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My GF [22F] never makes enough food for me [24M]. Starting to think it's intentional...
POST: My GF and I moved in 2 months ago. She does all of the grocery shopping and cooking; I'm a horrible cook, so I don't mind. However, she never seems to make enough food for me! She tends to give me about the same portion that she eats, which isn't a good idea since she is a petite girl and I'm 6'5. I always thought she just didn't realize how much food I need, but no matter how often I told her she didn't seem to get it. I buy a lot of snacks and eat out so that I'm not hungry all the time.
That probably makes me sound fat, but I'm too skinny if anything. I weigh about 160 pounds. And 3 years ago, when I first met my GF, I was seriously underweight. I was too broke to afford decent food and worked a physically strenuous job, which, at the worst point, resulted in me weighing 120lbs. I looked horrifying and I had no idea why she was attracted to me at the time. Anyway, when my circumstances changed I got back to a normal weight pretty quickly. I noticed that my gf seemed less interested in sex but I thought it was the honeymoon period wearing off.
Yesterday my gf left her laptop open on the bed while she was gone. It was open to her porn folder lol. I was curious so I scrolled through it and I was freaked out by what I found. It was all pics of extremely skinny guys. Skinnier than me... some of them looked legitimately anorexic and many looked like young teenagers. Suddenly it all made sense... why she was attracted to me when I looked like a skeleton... and why she refuses to make enough food for me.
I'm still fucking creeped out. I haven't brought it up to her because I don't know what to say. Is it possible that I'm overreacting and this stuff is just a fantasy? Is it normal for your SO to have trouble figuring out the right portions for you? Idk man. I love my gf but this shit is starting to get creepy.
TL;DR: | My GF always serves me small portions, even though I'm already skinny. Found pics on her computer and I think she has a fetish for extremely underweight guys. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Need Help With First Year Anniversary Present For "Friends" TV Show Obsessed GF
POST: This upcoming August will be mine and my girlfriend's first year anniversary. She is obsessed with the show Friends, borderline scary obsessed. She has the same frame that Monica has on her door, posters, the Friends cookbook, and most importantly every season of Friends on DVD. She bought each season individually over a few years. These DVDs are constantly being watched, she hardly watches normal TV as she usually just has a random disc of Friends in that shell watch while shes doing just about anything.
Due to this fact many of discs are skipping a lot as they're scratched from over use and just being handled so much. Also, she has lost a few of the discs as well. So for her present I want to get her the entire series box set which I know she'll be ecstatic about. However, I was hoping to make it even more special by trying to get some of the cast to sign it or some sort of special message or something. I come to reddit looking for advice on how to get in contact with the cast, their managers, or anything like that. I don't know where to start and I would be forever grateful if anyone has had experience or and idea to go about this. Thanks!
TL;DR: | Getting the box set of Friends for my GF, and looking for a way to get in contact with the cast for them to possibly sign it or something. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M22] We wanted to be friends after dating but shes [F22] barely talking to me
POST: We were really good friends for two months until we started dating, she's the one who brought up the idea. Dating goes well for two weeks but then I notice she is wanting to see me every day and I know this wasn't good but I liked being with her so I went along. Yep, ended on the fourth week, just one day she just started being super distant when we were together, except she continued to want to see me for a few more days until we eventually broke up. So yeah we agreed to just be friends but when we do hang out the same thing happens, she will eventually just act distant and then barely talks to me. Yet she keeps saying she hopes I'm her best friend for a long time? I don't know how to deal with this it's kinda making me upset and keeps me from being fully happy. Just her attitude in general being on/off. She keeps telling me she wants to hang out and so do I but she keeps declining when I ask because she's already out.
TL;DR: | wanted to be friends after dating but now she seems like a stranger and barely talks. Yet still claims to be a friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by taking a nap
POST: I was at the boyfriend's place and I was really, really tired so I decided to take a nap on my tummy. One time I was lazing in my boyfriend's bed and commented how nice it was that he had put his bed right next to window. He asked me why and I said it was because I really enjoyed basking in the sun. So, being the considerate boyfriend that he is, he decides to angle the blinds so that the sunlight can peek through the horizontal slats.
I wake up a few hours later and I notice vertical stripes of darkened skin on my butt and behind my thighs. It's been 3 months and these patches have not lightened.
TL;DR: | Fell asleep. Boyfriend knows I light to bask, so he cracks his venetian blinds open. I end up getting striped tanlines. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, how should I help my girlfriend in expanding her circle of friends?
POST: Bit of background for you. My girlfriend of just over a year and a half has been feeling depressed recently over her lack of a social life. She didn't make a lot of acquaintances when she was away at college (before I knew her) but had a close knit circle of friends with whom she is no longer in contact (I don't know why). She sees a few close friends from high school periodically but they're either very flaky (making plans, then cancelling time and again) or wrapped up in their relationships.
I have a few hobbies which afford me good friends outside of work (I play in two musical groups and also play soccer) but, aside from me, my girlfriend really doesn't have anyone to talk or meet up with on a regular basis. When I have plans I try to include her as much as possible but she's pretty shy and feels left out because of the common connections that my groups of friends share (music etc.).
In the past month she has been feeling sad about not being able to rely on anyone other than me (her words) but is very shy and lacks self-confidence when meeting new people. How should I best tactfully suggest ways she can expand her social circle and meet people with whom she shares common interests without a) seeming arrogant in trying to 'fix' her and b) damaging her self-confidence any more?
TL;DR: | How do I go about suggesting ways for my girlfriend to find new friends without appearing overbearing? We're both 25 and live in NYC. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what are some things your parents did when you were little that you didn't understand until a certain age?
POST: Well, when my dad is a lawyer and when I was in kindergarten, all I knew was my dad spends time on the computer all day. And I was asked what does my dad do for a living so I replied,"He does computer." In third grade, my dad said to me one day I don't do any school work and I'm lazy and I was mad and argued with him. So eventually I said to him," You don't do work, all you do is go on your computer and email all day! That's not a job, that's emailing!!" It was later I find out that he was emailing his foreign clients about whatever case they were on. So, now I know that he is a lawyer and he is doing his job, but as a little kid I thought my dad was lazy.
TL;DR: | Dad is a lawyer who contacts foreign clients with email, when I was little I thought he doesn't work and just emails his friends all day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend of 2.5 years won't stop texting me, trying to guilt trip me?
POST: Before I start I'd like to apologize for the wall of text that's about to ensue, this is kind of a venting/seeking help post all in one.
I've been with this girl in a long distance relationship for about two years now. I like her a lot but for the past two months I'm getting fed up with it.
I'm a busy guy, I go to college as a full time student and work a full time job. I have zero days off during the week, I get about 3-4 hours a day late at night to myself and then I have to sleep so that I can wake up for work/school the next day. I like to use this time to see my friends occasionally or just relax and maybe watch a movie. I try to text her back when I'm able to but I'm usually in the middle of work or school. At night I call when I'm not completely stressed out, but like every normal human being, I don't feel like spending hours on the phone every night.
Lately she's been texting me constantly and even calling me when she *knows* I'm in the middle of class/work. If I don't respond within two hours she starts getting all dramatic saying "I'm not done with this relationship yet, but if you are just say the word" and other crap like that. She keeps telling me that I make her sad and all of this other stuff. It's frustrating as hell. Hearing all of this constantly *prevents* me from wanting to call her at night. I don't want to call and hear her rant on about how I don't care about her, why would I want to spend my night on the phone just to hear how terrible I am? I feel like I'm in a high school relationship with an emotionally immature girl, it's fucking tiring.
I really need some advice on this now more than ever. Please help me out. Should I end it or try to keep going? This isn't the first time this has happened.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of two and a half years won't stop bothering me at work/school, complains that I don't care about her if I don't text back within the hour. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU and got my wife a written warning at her job
POST: I got up late after my 2 year old turned off the alarm. I could not get my eldest son off to school and he didn't feel well so it worked out alright. I went back to sleep which is unusual for me. I normally stay up to make sure my wife gets off to work. So my wife finally got me up about an hour and half before she has to leave for work. My eldest needed to replace his eyeglasses and I decided since he was home already, we should do it today. The initial plan was to get my father in law to take us (my sons and me). That fell through. I then tried to get my brother in law to help us. Again, it was a no go. That should have ended my planning but once I get an idea in my head, I become compulsive. I need to do it. My wife should have just told me to go to hell and I would have grumbled for awhile. But apparently, she loves me and knows how miserable I get when can't do something I think I need to. So here's where I fucked up her day. I made the appointment, knowing someone else would come get us later but I don't get things ready quick enough and find shoes for my youngest. I put him footy pajamas and put clothes over that. She kept looking for shoes for another five minutes after I got the kids in the car. We finally headed to the eye exam 10 minutes out of the way. To make matters worse, I couldn't find it. I called and got directions. She finally dropped us off. All the delays caused her to be 15 minutes late and miss her meeting with her supervisor. That lead to a writeup and will most likely delay her advancement in a company she has been promoted 3 times in her first 6 months. So effectively, I have destroyed all the hard work she has put in and her chance to get to the next position in next 6 months which she was on track to do. I feel like shit.
TL;DR: | Got it in my head my son needed to get an eye exam TODAY, cause my wife to be late for work, get a write up and probably delayed her promotion track. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I missed my chance to make it to the front page today. What are some of your possibly front page worthy RL moments you can never get back?
POST: My school has Nick Offerman (Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec) preforming tonight (right now actually) and the kitchen I work in opens up to the room he was preforming in. I was walking by with a bag of potatoes to dice as he was going in for sound check. I was looking at the pretty girls walking with him and when I finally looked at him I thought he looks familiar. He smiled and I gave him a head nod which he returned as we passed ways. About 30 seconds later I realized why I recognized him and kicked myself for not getting a picture...an hour later when three of us are waiting for the elevator it opens up and he is getting off to actually do the show. He looks at us, says "Elevator is through here, buttons are on the left. Good Luck." We all laughed and said thank you and parted ways again. At least I have a good story to tell whenever I see him on TV when other people are around
TL;DR: | Saw Nick Offerman at work but didn't realize who it was until it was to late to get a picture to try and get on the front page with. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not watching where I pour my coffee
POST: So I was eating leftover pizza and carried my cup and plate to the coffee maker. I set my plate down and poured all the coffee into my cup like normal. I always make a small batch of coffee - just enough for a single cup. Because of this, I don't normally watch while I pour it. Then I realize... Something sounds wrong. Something warm is dripping on my feet. Wait, that's fucking hot. Better look down! What I see is a massive pool of fresh steaming coffee pretty much everywhere. I had been pouring it over my plate of pizza instead of the cup... It's under the microwave, behind the sink, sliding down the dishwasher, covering the floor... Didn't think one cup of coffee could cover so much surface! Cleaning it all up took at least ten minutes. Dozens of paper towels later my counter is still sticky. Also my ferret is having play time and decided he wanted to try coffee. I have no idea if that's okay.
TL;DR: | Poured hot coffee on my pizza, feet and everything else. Clean up was a mess and a ferret might die. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [34 M] with my neighbor/former co-worker [33 M] (8 years) Weed smoke/smell entering my place all hours, wife is pregnant.
POST: We live in a downtown area. Our apartments share a common, very thin wall. We can hear conversation, music, sex through the walls... No big deal. It's what we get for living in an apartment.
My wife(32) and I are far from being uptight assholes about things. We're pretty youthful for our age I guess.
Our neighbors (another couple, our age) are huge stoners. I've smelled weed as early as 6am before they go to work(I used to work with the dude. He's an engineer). Then the afternoon when they get home. And into the evening.
We haven't minded smelling it although it's a bit annoying to walk into a room and get hit with that if it's not your thing.
I don't care what people do. I think it should be legal like booze... However, I'm not a fan of the smell and it creeping into the baby room we have setup is starting to spark a little anger.
My wife is due in 3 weeks with our first. I'm a bit of a crusader and I want to deal with this before I flip out.
I want to ask them to stop but I don't have a solution for them to keep hitting the trees. I've known the dude a while and I don't really know how to approach the topic. I'm trying to be cool about people getting their smoke on.
I spoke with my landlord and he asked that I speak with them before he gets involved... Which sucks. But he's always been great to me. So I'll try...
Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Neighbors are never off, always on, smoking weed 'till the break of dawn. It's entering my place. I have a baby coming. How do I deal with this and be neighborly? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf (34) and I (30) have arguments a lot about items in our future home. What did you all do?
POST: So my bf (34) and I (30) have been together almost a year and a half now and are getting close to getting our own place. But I have noticed we are polar opposites in many things when it comes to objects in a home. He likes wood floors I like carpet. He likes a water bed and I like a regular pillow top matress. There are many other things, but these are the two main things we have been arguing about lately. So my question is what do you guys do when you move in with your SO and both of you are opposite on some things in the home....what do you do to compromise? I jokingly said to my bf lets make a checker board pattern of carpet and hard wood floor. And don't say break up. Although some of you may think you should run the other way when you have disputes with your SO, I think you should try to work them out. We love each other and want to make things work.
TL;DR: | bf and I are going to move into our own place soon and can't agree on certain things for the home. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] and my girlfriend [20 F] are at the beginning of the road to recovery after I kissed a girl on a drunken night out. Tonight I'm seeing her mother for the first time since the incident and I need some advice on what to say.
POST: About a week ago I kissed a girl when I was out drunk. I told my girlfriend of three years the next day and showed her how sorry I am and let her know that I will NEVER do it again. Because of this the previously incredible relationship has taken a bit of a blow and we are working towards building it back up to it's former glory. Tonight though I am going to her house and her mother will be there who advised her to dump me. I think I am going to find it pretty difficult to express myself and convince her I am the one who should be with her daughter despite my stupid mistake.
Ok your first thought might be "suck it up, it's going to be awkward but you deserve it." And that's probably right. However it means a lot to me that her mother doesn't hate me for this mistake, I want to marry my current girlfriend (honestly she's perfect) so I'd prefer it if my in-law didn't resent me for a one off idiotic mistake.
I'm not sure how I can let her know how sorry and committed to the relationship with her daughter I am. I mean I just want to say, "You might hate me for hurting your daughter and rightly so, but I want you to know that she means the world to me and I'm going to do everything I possibly can to make her happy and help her get past this." That might be a bit overboard I don't know. I just don't know what to say, when to say it and how to say it.
How do I show her that I'm not some dirty cheater taking advantage of her daughter? I'd really love some advice, what do you think I can say?
TL;DR: | I'm seeing my girlfriends mother tonight for the first time since cheating, I want to let her know how sorry I am and how disgusted I am with myself but I'm not sure what to say, any help would be appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16 M] with anyone [15-16 F] I start to care about having depression.
POST: I'm in high school, and for the past few years now, any girl I've just started talking to and hit it off wonderfully, ends up telling me of having at least a semi-serious form of depression after as short as a week. (I also am always the first one to start texting I notice)
And most of these are girls I could have wonderful relationships with, but they always end up telling me of their depression and "I'm a depressing person." or whatever serious problem they have had that has hurt them and how they are not the same. And after the fact, nothing is the same between us.
At this point it feels like I am attracted to all of the wrong people and I am wondering if there is something about me that attracts those people. I might sound unsympathetic in this post, but I do know what it's like and always try to be supportive to these people.
I'm a 6'4" semi-muscular male ^and ^I ^like ^being ^the ^little ^spoon, and people have told me I am a good listener and have beautiful eyes and am good at having a conversation. However, once someone tells me of their whatever, nothing is the same with them.
But at this point, I am just wondering if there is something about me that makes this happen, or maybe I'm going about this the wrong way. Or maybe every girl is like this but I'm the one they feel most comfortable talking with, but after they do, it ruins our friendship (or anything more serious).
The most recent girl has told me of her diagnosed ltd (long term depression), and bi-polar disorder, along with some others. Others have mentioned things like "no one ever notices I'm depressed", and others have shown me scars of cutting. I always try to help emotionally, but this year I've had a lot of loss, and don't know what to think anymore.
I don't want support necessarily, just maybe some opinions to help me make sense of this stuff.
TL;DR: | Every girl I become good friends with or a little bit more, ends up telling me of depression and it feels like it is ruining all of my friendships. I just want some outside input of possibly why me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/f] seeing a guy [24/m] worried about wasting his time
POST: Hi,
I guess I'm looking for advice or something. Basically, I have started seeing this guy and he seems to be pretty interested in me I suppose, but he seems to be the kind of person who likes to go out and do things, and I'm not. So anyway... I kind of hate going out. Since I've spent so much time being alone in my room, I don't really know how to act around people in a one on one type of situation anymore. I feel pretty uncomfortable getting to know him in person because I haven't even been out with friends for a long long time. Do you think I should just stop talking to him? I feel like it's unfair for him to have to deal with me, if that makes sense.
This is coming from a person who either: goes to class or stays in bed for the entire day. I haven't lied to him about it though, and he told me he thinks it's cute but I don't know what to think.. Why would someone possibly want to date a girl who never wants to go out or do anything at all? Also, he paid for my food and I barely ate any of it because I was so nervous. :S I honestly feel like a freak. I've never even kissed a guy as well, which is even more awkward.
TL;DR: | I think I'm boring, should I change my personality or just avoid seeing people so I don't bore them to death? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Dieting gets so much easier if you tough it out through the early weeks!
POST: I lost most of my weight before the summer. I totally fell of the wagon for a few months and ate whatever I wanted. Gained back 10. At the start of September, I got really motivated to jump back into the right way of doing things again...
But I kept fucking up every few days. I ate unhealthy foods when it was convenient. I stopped counting calories some days. I ate out of stress/boredom a few times. I ate calorie-dense foods. I craved fried foods and candy all the time (and sometimes gave in). I did all the things I used to avoid doing for the better part of a year. It got me thinking:
I don't remember this being so hard. Who the hell did I do this before? Is it harder to re-lose weight for some reason? Or did I somehow change as a person, for the worse?
I FORGOT HOW TO DIET PROPERLY. I lost my good habits. So much of this is positive habit formation. Doing the right thing one meal choice at a time. Then one day at a time. Then another. And another. And so on. By doing that, you make yourself more likely to keep up a streak of great days. And even if you give yourself a cheat day, you see a general pattern of healthy eating. It becomes a state of mind. You feel this weird sense of psychological momentum. Success through small, repeated good actions, not just one giant change that'll make you drop 20 pounds all together.
Anyway, it gets MUCH easier mentally when you make wise health decisions a habit. I eat healthy foods, I'm super-active again, my unhealthy cravings are gone, I feel like unhealthy food would make me physically sick, I don't like feeling too full...Back to business as usual.
Maybe that's why people give up on diets so often. They don't get to the point where, through repetition, it stops feeling like a foreign thing and just feels like the way things ought to be--the way you should have been living all along.
TL;DR: | It gets easier. This can be rough at the start. Good habits don't form overnight; you have to earn them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18/F] have fallen in love with my SO[18/M], we're going to do LD in the fall and I'm worried I'll ruin my life. Help?
POST: I love him. He's smart, wonderful, caring, weird and perfectly flawed. I love him so much. We're going to be semi-LD in the fall. He's going to community college and I'm going to a college 1.5 hrs from our hometown where he's staying.
His goal is to transfer to my school eventually because it's the best school for his field however, he could just as easily (with much less suffering actually), go to a school 7 hrs from where I live meaning the end to our relationship, I believe. That scared the crap out of me. I love him so much but that's really a different issue. I digress
I love him so much and I'm afraid that I'll be lonely, distracted and lost without him.
I'm shy at first when I meet new people and I tend to be an 'acquired taste' of sorts. People always tell me they like me after getting to know me a bit but are a bit startled when they first meet me. I love to talk to my SO and would really rather spend time with him over anyone else. I'm afraid I'll be a sad ball of misery when I go off for college.
I am easily emotionally influenced and I need to maintain a top-notch GPA. I'm worried I'll be so wrapped up in loving him, missing him and worrying about him that I won't be able to concentrate. He suffers from depression and every once in a while during HS he would have a low point and my academics would dip with him.
I'm worried that I won't be enough for him 1.5 hours away. We'll visit one another every 3-4 wks or so is the plan. He's going to a 3 wk vacation for the first 3 wks of August so I have some time to practice being without him.
**Please, anyone have any advice?** You see. I love him so much it hurts. I love him and this scares the hell out of me.
TL;DR: | I'm going into a LD relationship with a guy I am head-over-heels in love with and I am worried about maintaining a social life, emotional sanity, and academics in the future. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I [M21] met a really cool girl [F21] this weekend, and just wondering how to proceed
POST: Alright, so, quick backstory. I'm in college, and I'm in an off campus fraternity. We have 3 houses that are all on the same street corner, and we have most of our social events there. I live in one of the corner houses.
Anyway, this weekend, my frat was having a bonfire, just kind of an open thing that anyone was really welcome. This girl shows up with some friends, and tells us that she just lives right down the street, and she and I totally hit it off. Within 10 minutes of meeting, she and I were walking back to my house to go smoke some weed.
We get inside and just keep talking and and flirting. There's a good deal of light touches and a lot of extended eye contact. I dunno, I had a great time hanging out with her. I did fuck up a little bit at one point, and misread something as a signal she wanted me to kiss her, so I went for it, but got turned down. No biggie, and we kept hanging out and flirting.
Anyway, I texted her a couple days later, letting her know who I was and inviting her to our party that weekend. No response.
I'm probably overthinking it, but did I scare her off when I tried to make a move? I thought it was pretty clear it was just a miscommunication of signals, and it really didn't change much of how we were interacting after the fact. I should probably add that there was definitely some alcohol involved, but its college, so there always is.
Basically, I'm asking if I should try texting her again later this week asking if she wants to hang out or grab a drink or something. Any advice is welcome.
TL;DR: | Met a girl I really hit it off with this weekend and got her number, texted her a couple times, but with no response. Should I try again later this week to see if things change? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is a quick way to make $150?
POST: Hi Reddit! I'm in a bit of a pickle and was hoping you guys could help me out. My boyfriend and I are pretty broke and we are trying to get to his best friend's wedding where he will be the best man. I was supposed to have a $100 voucher for a plane ticket which would pay one way but the airline told me I had to pay $100 to use it(How does that even make sense.) We got lucky enough that his lovely sister bought a one way ticket for him and my parents said they would pay for mine but then more bad luck struck and as I was about to purchase my ticket the page timed out and made me reselect my ticket which all of a sudden went up $50! I went ahead and purchased my ticket because my parents said they wanted to road trip back to where we are currently living. Now my dad is refusing to drive back with us(I have no idea why.) So here we are with two one way tickets and no way back. I don't really have any friends that I could borrow money from and my boyfriend has no one else to ask. We don't know what to do because the wedding is in two weeks and we wouldn't be able to get all of money back. Could someone please give me ideas of what we could do to make some money quickly? I would really, really appreciate it.
TL;DR: | Stuck with two one way tickets and no way back home. Need ideas to make around $150 in a couple weeks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Still fighting (20m)
POST: It's just about day 5 since the split. I'm still feeling like shit. I had about a 1 hour period where I was ok today, but for the majority of the day I wanted cry myself a river and kayak down it to depressionville. I barely made it through my classes without breaking down. I haven't given in to contacting her (20f) but I came closer than ever. I feel like i'm going through an investigation phase where I can't stop thinking about what she's doing and wanting to find out. I tried really hard not to, but I looked at her facebook page. There was nothing that broke me down but i realize it very well could have and I'm gonna try to not do that again. Whats odd is her roommate started messaging me on facebook. Not about her, or the break up, but just to talk. It was kinda nice, and even when she asked about how I was I avoided talking about my ex. It wasn't flirty or sinister, we just talked about random shit. I'm not sure if this is healthy or whatever but it made me feel a little better, but for the wrong reasons. I started seeing it as a way to find out more about my ex's situation, but i didn't give into the temptation so i guess i'm still scott free on that end. Also I was able to eat for the first time in 4 days. Not much, but i didn't vomit it back up so that's progress. Anyways just came here to rant, gotta vent to someone you know? Thanks for the support everyone, i hope i can stay strong.
TL;DR: | five days deep, feeling shitty with brief moments of less shitty, looked at her fb page :( but i didn't break no contact, her roommate talked to me? idk why, and I ate. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I've [20] been NC with my ex for almost a year. But we share a lot of friends and I get flak from them for not attending social events and its making me
POST: edit: fucked up the title. "and its making me feel insecure"
So almost 1 year ago I broke up with my high school sweetheart. It was heart breaking as she left me for another guy, but also many lies and deceptions were uncovered in the weeks following that which made it a particularly devastating breakup. I followed typical advice and went complete no contact. It forced me to remove myself from friends that we shared but I knew it was a decision I had to make.
However since then I've still kept in contact on an individual level with many of those friends, and therefore constantly get invited out for drinks or to birthday parties etc. I've always had to turn them down when I knew that her (and her new partner) would be there just because I couldn't see me being happy at all in that environment.
But recently I've been getting flak from my friends. At first it was "I understand that it might be uncomfortable for you but I really want you to come" but these days it has become "Hey, its been a year. [Her] and her new partner are good people and I think you should just come."
I understand where they are coming from but it has made me more and more insecure as I feel as if they are sympathizing with me by seeing me as vulnerable or weak. But am I really? On one hand I don't think I could be friends with them and certainly would not enjoy being around them if they were being affectionate with each other. But on the other hand maybe my friends are right and that I should just face the situation instead of running away.
I'm just in a confused situation where I don't feel like I can talk to my friends without them feeling sorry for me and would really like to hear people's experience about encountering exes and their new partners.
TL;DR: | Brutal breakup with ex one year ago. Still avoiding contact but getting harassed by mutual friends since it's been a year. Do I stay away or face ex and new partner? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Woman who seemed to reciprocrate interest - her father passed away 2 weeks ago. Advice for pursuing (if even at all) especially with Valentine's Day coming up?
POST: I'm 27 and she is 25. Quick context on how she and I started talking. She actually helped me out and acted as a shoulder when I was having dating problems with the girl "before her" last summer. We eventually started inviting each other out on walks/runs, just seemed natural, no awkwardness or effort.
I stepped it up around Christmas when I invited to attend a basketball game we've both been looking forward to, I already bought tickets but her family decided to have their Christmas exchange party the day we were set to go and so we had to cancel. Pretty understandable, just mentioning this for context. A couple weeks later she asks if she can make it up to me, of course I say yes. We go out to lunch and after saying our goodbyes, I surprised her with her late Christmas gift (a Kindle Paperwhite). She seemed pretty flabbergasted and grateful.
Literally the next day, her father passes away. The funeral was just this past weekend. I don't really know how to act towards her anymore. Don't get me wrong, of course, as a friend I am saddened for her and offered to help any way I can. In regards to how we were "talking", my default action is to just forget for a few months and not pull any moves/talk about it out of respect for her coping. Am I correct on this?
TL;DR: | Seemed like I was hitting it off w/ this woman I like, then her father passed away - don't know how to act. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm[40F] looking for an open relationship model with my husband [39M] in order to save our marriage.
POST: I've been married for 19 years and my husband has had multiple affairs online and in person (online sex and short-lived personal affairs).
We went to marriage counselling 5 years ago after revelations of new affairs came to light. We came up with rules to help our marriage.
The rules: if either partner has an online profile on a dating site (which they can), must inform the other partner. If infidelity occurs, must tell the other partner within a month of it happening.
My husband recently broke the rules. My husband had both an online profile and an affair, and I found out by accident.
We have two children, and we are best friends. We parent very well together, and get along great. Sex is somewhat regular as well.
I have never cheated on him in any way.
I am tired of being hurt by his affairs so I am willing to agree to some sort of open marriage.
I'm looking for a model so that we can survive. I'm tired of being the stupid dutiful wife.
TL;DR: | Husband (39M) has had multiple affairs. I (40F) would like the save the marriage by entering into an open relationship. Looking for model ideas. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Found out my sister's deadbeat father has an under-the-table job, so he has no legal money to pay child support. How can I bust him?
POST: Firstly, sister's father, who we'll call Dick, is in NJ, and so am I. My mom and said sister moved to Florida after she remarried. Dick has about 7 kids from various women, my mom included, and he hasn't paid child support on any of them (and if he does, the payments are give-or-take $100). Basically a classic deadbeat.
He is, as of right now, $6,000 behind on child support for my sister alone. His usual excuse before the court is that he isn't working right now and living with a friend. He's been "not working" since probably 2010. And on and off before that under the table.
Unluckily for him, I happen to be friends with his present landlord's daughter - friends since childhood. She has watched the situation with Dick blossom and wilt and slowly tear people apart since we were kids, so she knows better than most what a complete asshole this guy is.
We run into each other the other day and she proceeds to tell me something interesting: Dick as an under-the-table construction business, complete with papers for estimates among other things. The silly part of it is that he advertises his business with magnets on the back of his car that he *removes at the end of every day* because he is "so afraid that [I] will find out" and tell my mom about it, because we both reside in the same town.
So of course now I have my telescopic lens ready to go because I will sneak the shit out of this guy, but I want to know exactly what I need in order to nail this guy to the wall. I've never considered doing something like this until literally 15 minutes ago. Also, are there any legal things I should be concerned with when I'm sneakin' this guy.
TL;DR: | how to private eye, bust my sister's deadbeat dad for working under the table. Please and thank you! |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [Nevada] Local gas station has items that ring up as a higher price than what is displayed on the shelf. They won't correct it. Do I have recourse?
POST: I frequent this gas station because it's close to my office. Last week I started buying sour punch straws. The price on the sticker is $1.19. The second time I bought them, I noticed that the register charged me $1.35. I said something to the cashier, he went over and verified the price, and picked up a pack of cookies that was $1.19 to charge me with. This same thing happened the next four times I went to this gas station, with different cashiers and different outcomes. One time I ended up getting my fourth pack free, and the most recent time, the guy told me there was nothing he could do and to come back in the morning.
It's annoying that this keeps happening and no one is fixing it. It's lazy at best, and a deceptive business practice at worst. I spent last night researching statutes pertaining to item pricing and found things for other states, but not Nevada. A Michigan statute required a refund and a penalty payment, and gave the right to sue for $250 in small claims court. More importantly, this store could be doing this for other items and doing it intentionally, and that's not okay.
Who can I complain to? Who investigates this type of bad business practice? If anyone could help me find the Nevada statutes (if any) that cover this, or has advice for how to move forward, I'd appreciate it!
TL;DR: | Gas station has at least one item that costs more at the register than it does on the shelf. I've notified several employees, but no one has fixed the discrepancy. Is this illegal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] having problems with my ex [23M] [5yrs] creeping around on my Reddit, sending text messages, not leaving me alone
POST: (This would be an update post, but I had to delete my old username, will explain)
So, I broke up with my ex sometime last year. I started to ignore all the text messages he was sending to me. A while back I submitting on /r/relationships his text messages to me and asking what should I do because I was kind of scared (He is abusive and possibly a sociopath), and got the response from other Redditors that I should ignore him, block him, and/or get some sort of restraining order. Good solid advice I followed.
Well, somehow my ex found my username on Reddit. Sent me a text message about how he got "informed" of the "lies" I was spreading about him on here. Funny thing is, no one knows my old username on here so my mind is boggled in as how he came across it. I feel like he is stalking me through the internet.
Once more, what should I do ladies and gents? This is getting ridiculous.
TL;DR: | Have a creepy ex that is spying on me. He's gathering information about me through the internet, somehow found my username here on Reddit, and is spying on all stuff I say about him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by mentioning a girlfriend that never existed.
POST: Hey Reddit, so this has been bugging me for a while, and I've been too ashamed to tell it (until now). This is probably the worst case of social awkwardness I've ever had...ever. So, let's get into it!
So this happened a couple months ago. I was in Grade 12 and was volunteering on a council that put on events for high school students. These events would happen every couple months and were geared to kindle interest in science. They we're always tonnes of fun: both organizing them and the event day. Now, on to the FU.
A little backstory on me, I've been a little socially awkward in my life - mainly with girls who are cute. I have no idea what to say or how to respond. This is what caused the FU.
So at this event while I was running an activity, I met these three girls who went to a french school and thus were Bilingual in English and French. These girls were cute, they spoke french, and they were being a little flirty with me so this was probably the ultimate turn on. Not wanting to seem unprofessional or anything I keep interacting with them the way I would anyone else, being friendly and keeping up conversation while the activity is going on. I turn away to help some other people who were there when I hear them start to talk - at this point I should mention that I speak broken french so I could understand what they were saying. One of the girls was saying to the other how she thought I was cute and she was going to ask for my number when I came back over. At this point I mentally freeze. I am to nervous to do anything so I continue helping the other group of people and while casually making small talk with them I mention my girlfriend in a loud enough voice for these girls to hear.
Fuck.
I don't have a girlfriend, I'm as single as you can get them - hell, I'm looking for a girlfriend.
But no, the damage was done and the girls, while maintaining interest, eventually leave and I never get their contact information.
TL;DR: | Cute french girl was about to ask for my number, out of shock I mentioned a girlfriend that I didn't have. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Breakups] Me [27 F] with my ex[33 M], together 4 years... he moves across the country tonight. How can I handle this?
POST: My ex broke up with me about 3 months ago. I had been very happy and it was very unexpected. I could go on about that but... we have been living together still for three months because he decided he wanted to move across the country (lived together for about a year and a half before this, too). His flight leaves tonight.
I've known this day was coming for months. I thought I was prepared. I hadn't cried or gotten upset in weeks. I was feeling good. Last night, I lost it and could hardly stop crying, knowing that it was the last night he'd be sleeping in our home with me. That tomorrow I'd have to say goodbye for good. That he was packing all his stuff. That our pets were having to say goodbye. That this morning was the last time he'd bring me coffee in bed. The last time I'd say goodbye to him when I leave for work.
I'm hardly hanging on through work today. We are getting dinner tonight and saying our goodbyes. I have a list of his flaws in my purse and read it to remind myself that he wasn't perfect, just as I'm not perfect, and that there are probably other, better people out there for me.
I have a tendency to be very sentimental about things. We created our home together. We renovated the house together. We painted the walls together. Everything is going to remind me of him when he leaves, on top of the fact that I'm already sentimental. It gets to the point that I won't want to, like, throw away the bar of soap because he used it (I know that sounds crazy, but it's just me trying to hang on to the last parts of the relationship).
The truth is, I KNOW I'll be fine. I'm just really struggling today and know I'll be struggling tomorrow. I hate that he gets to start a brand new life and I have to continue living with the remnants of our old one, every day. Has anyone gone through this? Is there anything I can do? What helped you?
TL;DR: | My ex (together 4 years, broke up 3 months ago) is moving out tonight for good, across the country. Struggling with goodbyes and how to move forward. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] wants to propose to my ex-gf [25 F] who is in a rebound relationship
POST: Are these the signs that my ex is in a rebound relationship?
She told me that they met mid-December and she already met his dad on new years. Our most recent physical contact was when we spent 2 nights together Thanksgiving week. SHE told me that he's 33, has a house and stable income. I called her asking for closure this past Monday (1/13) while she was at his house. He heard our conversation while she was crying on the phone. I have a feeling they might move in together. I asked her if she loves this guy and she says she doesn't know yet, that they're getting to know each other. She said regardless of him, we were both in a bad relationship. I'll admit, she was madly in love with me (as I with her) but I told her I was not ready for a relationship. She asked one last time to get back together this past Thanksgiving but I told her I was not ready. And I lost her.
I love this girl. I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life without her. I am madly in love with her. I want her back. I have changed since the last time I saw her. I want us to grow together and be happy. I think I am going to propose to her today.
TL;DR: | Ex is in a rebound relationship. I want to propose to her before I lose her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her so we can be truly happy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 24 M with 24 F of 7 months, having trust issues without any reason to.
POST: I've been with her several months now, she is everything i've ever wanted in a person, we have the same interests, play video games, want children (way down the road) and even like the same football team.
However, I am the problem here. My whole life i've naturally been inclined to be distrustful and an extremely paranoid individual. But I keep my cool, I don't let her know these things, what i've been doing.
I feel terrible about it, but every now and then I take a look at her phone to see if she is doing anything behind my back. Do i have a reason to? Absolutely not.
We are together whenever we have time to spend together, I met her parents and she told me she is so happy that they really like me, even her brother who has never liked any of her ex's does.
So why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep thinking shes going to cheat on me, when i've never been cheated on my whole life...
I feel its because I've not led a good life in general, I've never cheated on any of the women I've been with, but my first serious relationship when I was 17 I was an asshole, not abusive or anything like that.
But I was controlling, and verbally abusive etc. I since than have changed from that, I do not control or abusive my current SO in any way. I put her on a pedestal and she is my world.
I feel that, because of what I've done in the past, I do not deserve her, because of how I treated my parents (Wrecking 3 of their cars, 1 my fault, 2 because of a traffic accident) etc. Basically because I feel I do not deserve someone so pure, because Karma has a way of getting you in the end, and I don't feel I've been duly punished just yet.
TL;DR: | Met an amazing person I've fallen in love with, worried my trust issues will take hold of me and I'll turn into the disgusting human being I was when I was 17 years old. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [47 F] with my DH [50 M] married 17 years, sister-in-law boundary issues, should I suggest family counselling with SIL?
POST: DH [50 M] and I [47 F] have been married 15 years, together 17, with two kids [7, 11], have sought counselling to deal with my concerns about his sister [59, single & child-free] whose ideas re how much time she should spend with us are different from mine.
We live a hundred yards apart in a small town. She would like to attend every school or community social event and sit with us. I think that's a bit much. She expects to be invited to every big or small social gathering at our house. I would like to have some time with my parents or sister without her, since they visit only every few months. In addition to formal events and dinners, she has also invited herself to come with us on our daughter's first day of school (and walk her to the classroom), her first horseback riding lesson, her special Brownie ceremonies, her first skating lesson, etc.
In the past, my DH has said that she's lonely and wants to experience these things, and we should include her. It got to be too much a few months ago, and things went dramatically downhill. DH and I sought counselling to deal with this, and it has been helpful. We now see her less -- DH and kids visit once or twice a week.
SIL now tells him that this (seeing less of him and the kids) is the worst thing that has ever happened to her. I feel guilty, because I have really enjoyed going to events and not feeling like the third wheel on her date. I am considering asking if she would do a session of family counselling with us, but I'm afraid that this would reinforce her sense of entitlement. Has anyone involved in-laws in a family counselling session? How did it work out?
TL;DR: | Single, child-free SIL wants more involvement with us than I'm comfortable with and says this is the worst thing that has ever happened to her. Would family counselling help, or is this just going to reinforce her sense of entitlement? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [30 M] roommate is pissed at me [28M] for accepting a ride from his girlfriend [27F] while he was out of town.
POST: All three of us are roommates. They live on the top floor of the house, I live on the bottom. Just to give you an idea of our living arrangement.
Over the weekend my roommate went out of town. While he was out of town I went downtown with a few friends for some drinks. The guy that drove me down left way earlier than everyone else but I decided to stay, assuming I would get a ride from someone else.
The plan was for everyone to go back to the house where we started. That didn't end up happening. Everyone in the group ended up just going home from downtown. So my plan was to just get a cab. Then I remember my roommates girlfriend texted me earlier in the day and offered to be my DD if i was going to be drinking. So now that everyone was just going home, I take her up on that offer. She comes and picks me up and gives me a ride home. We get home, I go downstairs to my room and pass out. End of night.
The next day my roommate is home. The first thing he says to me when he sees me "oh, you needed a DD last night?" sarcastically. I could hear her say something in the background like "babe, I offered to give him a ride". Later on in the day (today) I walk upstairs and they're putting their dog in this weird height chair for dogs? (don't ask, i have no clue) he passive aggressively suggests that I go downstairs while i'm checking the dog out in this weird height chair. I question him, and he says that "the dog is all wound up". I can tell he's mad about something.
I'm not sure how to approach this. I didn't think that it would be a big deal at all for her to pick me up. Did i cross a boundary or does he have a right to be mad at me?
TL;DR: | My [30 M] roommate is pissed at me [28M] for accepting a ride from his girlfriend [27F] while he was out of town. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: There is a guy [21?/M] in my [23/F] class that cheats on exams. Should I notify the instructor?
POST: I am currently taking a very intense summer class, in an incredibly difficult science subject. There is an Asian exchange student that sits beside me during both the class and lab lectures.
He was already caught cheating on one of the class exams (he went to the bathroom and was Googling the answers). This past week he had his phone underneath the exam paper and was sliding the paper to the side and looking up answers. During the mid-term for the laboratory lecture he had his phone under the desk and was Googling the answers. Normally I just turn a blind (albeit disapproving) eye to it, but especially after he was already caught doing it, for some reason this is irritating me a lot. This summer class is a 2-semester class condensed down into 12 weeks, which is enough work for any class, let alone one where the normal pass rate is only 60%. I spend 30+ hours a week on work for this class alone. The fact that he might get good grades in a class where the average is a C- makes me distinctly unhappy, because he doesn't deserve it at all. And I know, "once he gets into the work world he will suffer as he didn't learn anything, etc etc" .. doesn't make me dislike it any less now. Students have to repeat an entire year for this class, and he is cheating his way through it.
Should I tell the instructors? I don't want them to think that I am trying to get brownie points for ratting him out, either. I just don't think it's fair that it's happening. I guess it's probably not my place to say. I'm just not sure what to do.
TL;DR: | Fellow student is blatantly cheating on exams for an extremely difficult and condensed summer science class. He was already caught cheating but continues to do so. Do I rat him out? Is there any way to do it anonymously? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 F] have been dating [25 M] for a month - he kind of disappeared on me for a week but is now back in touch, should I still see him?
POST: So I started seeing this guy towards the beginning of August. We've been on six dates. Things seemed to be going well but he kind of disappeared on me for a week or so as he had friends coming in town to visit. I didn't want to be clingy so I gave him time to be with his friends and didn't text or call. I thought he may get in touch with me and invite me to spend time with them but he didn't. Heard from him tonight apologizing for being out of touch for the 8 days or so - the thing is his friends left Wednesday and he went out last night to a bar. So, it's nice to hear from him but not sure if I should have heard from him sooner if he was really into me, because he has had free time to do other things. I like him but don't know if I should keep dating him - I'm nervous I'm a backburner thing for him. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Dating a guy, hasn't heard from him in a week, he got back in contact and I'm not sure if I should go out with him again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Does my work crush (29M) like me (25F) or just see me as a friend?
POST: I (25F) have been working with my work crush (29M) since last May. We started to become friends around September and that's when I started to have feelings for him.
We've hung out alone a couple times and he will get very flirty, even a little physically flirty. At work he will drop lines here and there. We've gotten pretty close since we started hanging out but he won't ask me out.
(Not to sound full of myself but for reference, he's not the most physically attractive guy, and I'd say I'm more attractive than him **not that it matters!** and he seems like a pretty secure and confident guy.
There have even been a couple times where he will walk me home or I will drive him home and he won't kiss me goodbye. One time he even got out of the car and said, "You look disappointed."
Today, for example, he was flirting a lot in front of coworkers and even more when it was just me and him. After work we rode the train together and I dropped hints that I wanted to grab a drink and he didn't take me up on it.
I think we have great chemistry but just as I start to feel like we could be getting to the next step he retracts and I get the feeling he's uninterested.
What can I do or what clues can I look for to find out if he feels more than just being good friends.
TL;DR: | My work crush and I have been flirting for months, but he won't make the next step. How do I know how he really feels?" |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] I'm not physically attracted to my potential (18/f) girlfriend, what should I do?
POST: We are fairly close, have hung out plenty of times platonically but last weekend she texted me after I got home from her house and told me she liked me (couldn't bring herself to say it to me in person, I understand). I told her that I've switched back and forth between liking her and not liking her and I think I do. She's an amazing girl, we like all the same things, I could see myself with her (emotionally) for perhaps forever (although I'm not worried about that yet). But I'm not physically attracted to her. She's not ugly or fat or anything, I just don't feel it. My friend who knows her thinks she's attractive. I think she's attractive, I just don't think that I'm attracted to her. We're going ice skating tomorrow, an official date to try it out. I haven't told her I don't think I'm physically attracted to her but I told her I'm not sure how I feel. She's really into me, I've never kissed a girl before (that's a whole seperate issue I don't want to get too much into) and I think I want to try this relationship out. Is it likely that this lack of attraction will resolve itself? Do I tell her now or later? Do I kiss her tomorrow if the moment is right but I'm still not feeling the physical attraction?
TL;DR: | I don't think I'm attracted to her but she's awesome other than that. What do I do on our date tomorrow? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I got sticker shock with Dog and crushed girlfriend's hopes
POST: throwaway for this one...my girlfriend (F22) and I (M23) (dating 2.5 years now) are out to look at dogs today and possibly get one, much to my girlfriend's great joy. She's had her heart set on a yorkie-poo type of dog for years now, and the place we were going looked to have a few left. Sadly, the dogs that were left for yorkie-poos were either a) sick or b) nasty ugly (too much poodle or something).
Instead, she falls in love with this little adorable purebred yorkie. He's playing with her, she's wooing...everything looks great. Then the owner tells us the price...close to $600. I just started my first job, and my girlfriend is still looking for employment, so this is a huuuuge amount of money. We go into town (don't have $600 cash at the time, was expecting around $350 at most for the dog), get the cash, and talk about it. I say that I just don't feel great spending that much money on a dog when only one of us is working, etc. She surprisingly agrees, and I call the owner and let him no. No hard feelings, we'll just keep looking for another dog....
Nope. The way back down to our apartment was chilly at best. She snapped a few lines about not speeding because "a ticket would be about a puppy", and has said about 3 words tonight besides sighing and saying "my shirt smells like a puppy".
I'm at a loss about how to handle this; I was surprised that she was ok with not getting the dog right now, but now I'm afraid she's thinking I'll never be ok getting a dog/etc. In addition, I have no idea how to counter that or what I'm afraid will be large number of cold dog-related replies that I"m currently speechless to. Any ideas on how I can talk to her about this would be greatly appreciated!
TL;DR: | Went to look at dogs, got sticker shock at price of different breed girlfriend fell in love with. Didn't get dog, not sure how to talk with disappointed girlfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [34 M]with my [31 F] 4 month relationship status just broke up
POST: I have been going out with this girl for about 4 months... we've been off an on. We sometimes have difficulty just having normal converstaions, and just communicating how we feel in general... I have been trying to work on them from my end because I really do like her and enjoy her company. Currently ware broken up. She says she doesn't want to be my girlfriend but she still wants to hook up. That part is great but its making me feel a little empty inside, I attempted to txt message her and she responds, but not as frequently or as fast as she used to in the past. She says she doesn't want to be in a committed relationship and the one with me left her feeling unsure about getting into a relationship anytime soon again. I think she still has feelings for me, but not in that way anymore...
TL;DR: | Not sure what to do in a situation where it's one sided and there are a lot of pent up feelings about one another. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: (X-post from r/relationships) How do I [19 M] proceed with my close friend [19 F] that I've been crazy about for ages
POST: I'm gonna try to keep this as short as possible. I apologize for any grammar mistakes I'm typing this on a tablet. I also apologize for bothering you with my pesky teen problems lol. If this is in the wrong sub let me know.
Basically the girl I've been madly in love with for pretty much 3 years recently became single and a few months prior to this we've become quite close as friends. She's the only person whom I've ever really trusted and confided in. She knew that I was crushing on someone and this morning we were texting and I worked up the courage to tell her how I felt, she was shocked but overall reacted positively. She told me she didn't really know what to say at the moment (I guess I did drop a bit of a bomb on her) and that she kinda felt like it was a dream. She, still a little shocked, asked me how I had developed these feelings and I explained how she makes my days better, makes me laugh and feel all warm and fuzzy inside :). She said that she had a big smile and was shaking a little and I said that I was too.
I hadn't slept all night and she was heading to school so we kinda stopped talking for a few hours and when we started talking again she told me about her math test and we talked like usual and were laughing at all kinds of silly stuff. The only mention of the previous convo was when I said that I felt good having told her how I felt and she said that it was good that I shared my emotions.
Now here's my dilemma: I know that she still has some feelings for someone else and I've never been in this kind of situation before so my question is, what do I do?
Should I ask her if she thinks we might ever be more than friends? Should I wait a little and see what happens between her and this other guy? (Although that second option seems kinda stupid).
TL;DR: | told my friend I have feeling for her, she might have feelings for another guy, how should I ask her out/figure out where our relationship might go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of one month, got a message from a girl on facebook.
POST: I went to high school with my boyfriend, although we didn't really know each other well. After school he joined the army, and we recently began officially dating a month ago when I spent a week with him for Thanksgiving, us being long distance as he is stationed across the country. Prior to this, we had been exclusively dating for about four months and communicating through text/snapchat/skype/phonecalls.
He called me earlier to tell me that he had gotten e-mail notifications from getting messages on a dating website (PoF), and that they were from a girl he had gone on dates with in the past asking if his girlfriend would like his dating site use.
He told me that he hadn't used the site and had deleted his phone app a while ago, and has since deleted his account entirely. I logged on to facebook and looked at my "Other" messages, and a girl messaged me at 5pm telling me that he was listed as single on Plenty of Fish.
What do? We are long distance so I feel like I don't have a lot of options other than listening to he-said she-said.
TL;DR: | Newly into a LDR, just got a facebook message from a girl saying my bf was on PoF listed as single after he called me saying the account was old. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [37F] with my Husband [37M]. I am not attracted to or desire him
POST: My husband of 11 years and I get along amicably. He's a really mellow, man of few words kind of guy and I'm a fiery, outgoing woman. We don't have any interesting conversations or share our lives outside of family and children (6 and 8). It's hard to get him to share his thoughts and opinions on important and unimportant things. He has no drive to better himself (career, health, mind, home). I've tried to discuss these things with him for years but it hasn't gotten better at all. I don't find him desirable or attractive. I'm very sexual so we don't have a dead bedroom but it's not him that gets me going. Is it possible to be in a forever relationship if you don't respect your partner or find them desirable?
TL;DR: | Uninteresting husband that I don't want sexually. I've tried everything so do I have to accept this kind of marriage for the rest of my life? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by thinking my Immune System was invincible
POST: So this happened 6 days ago, but I'm still suffering the effects. Last Thursday night I had an improv show with my Theatre Class. My teacher/director had been out sick for the previous couple days.
A few minutes before the show I was backstage and realized I was really thirsty so I looked for some water, and I saw a water bottle on my teacher's desk. I ran over and opened up the bottle and lifted it up, but hesitated, remembering that she was sick, but thought "I can't get sick from one sip of water!" and took a swig of water to quench my thirst. The next day I had a bit of a sore throat and didn't think much of it. I'm now in my fifth day of winter break and the pain has only increased. Turns out I have tonsillitis and possibly Strep Throat.
TL;DR: | Was thirsty before a show, saw my sick teacher's water, drank knowing consequences were possible, now suffering said consequences. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Wife [26] me [24] just married but im not doing so great.
POST: So i just married my amazing wife september 1st this year we have been together off and on since i was 16 so about around 9 years we've always had a great relationship its had its ups and downs and don't get me wrong i still thinks it is hence why we got married.
Recently there's been fights, fights about me lying not big relationship breaking lies but collective little lies that don't seem to stop no matter how hard i try to stop. Just today we got into it because she got mad that i lied about her asking me to do something and i said i did but really didn't. Recently she found out i started smoking again, not full time just when im out or drinking but back to it none the less. These lies are maybe small on their own but when they all ball up there becoming a big deal i want/have to stop i know this but she feels like she cant trust me and that our whole relationship was built on trust. she on the other hand is not a lier like at all i trust her very much so. im just trying to fix things and build her trust i feel like everything i try she gets mad at me even if its something i think is small. All i want to do is make her realize im not full of shit i feel like i lie because i get nervous.
she also gets frustrated that i don't listen to her and she has to repeat her self all the time. I hate blaming it on add but its just so hard to pay attention some times. I just want my wifes trust back i lover her and i dont want this to snow ball into the end of our relationship.
TL;DR: | i constantly lie white lies to my wife and shes little by little finding them out breaking her trust.i just want to know how to make up and fix this trouble i've gotten in to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Guy [29/M] that I (30/F] was seeing 1 month was really intense, lots of chemistry, poof'ed out after awkward sex (on his part)
POST: The guy was really into it from the start. We went on a few dates. He was in consistent communication (initiating it usually himself.) He was saying he missed me/couldn't wait to see me when was on a family trip, stated he recognized this was something special, and we had an unusually crazy amount of chemistry that I recognized. He was talking about planning things months away to do together.
---
We spent the night together and it was great- lots of talking, really connecting more. Then we slept together. Or tried to. I played it cool and didn't act out of sorts but he couldn't stay hard and finished within 5 minutes (somehow). Pretty much immediately after that he was checked out mentally. Haven't heard from him since, except an errant non-engaging text or when he "likes" an instagram photo.
---
I expressed that I was still interested a few days later through a casual text but got a vague response. It's not like he got what he wanted out of that sex (I sure didn't but it isn't a dealbreaker for me.) So what happened? Why would you poof out after iffy sex on your end, especially after putting in so much time before that. WHY NOT GIVE THE SEX ANOTHER TRY AT LEAST?
TL;DR: | He was really into me until we had sex where he had erectile problems and a quick finish! Why did HE go poof? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think that one of my best friends (F19) likes me and I don't know what to do. (F19 asking)
POST: There is a girl that I have been friends with for over a year. I met her at the beginning of my first year of college and now in my second year we are roommates. I know she is bi and she knows that I may be as well. Recently she has started doing a lot of stuff that I would consider... flirting (I don't have a lot of experience with relationships since I have never dated anyone so I'm not really sure).
She has started wanting to hold my hand a lot. When I am laying on my bed with my computer she sometimes comes over and practically "spoons" me to talk or look at what I am doing. The other day she said "I like you a little bit, you know what right?" I responded "why" and she told me I was a good friend. She calls me sweetheart and such and once I swear she kissed me on top of my head. She often, in her own words, "nuzzles" me. Once we left our other friends to go watch a movie but we didn't want to tell them that we were skipping out on the movie that they were watching so we didn't answer when they asked where we were going. Afterwards my friend said, "they probably thought we were going to make out."
It doesn't bother me that she may like me... I'm just not sure I want to date her. Also I have never seen what she is like with her other really good friends so this could be normal behavior. I swear our other friends are starting to think the two of use are dating. I don't know how to approach her about it without it being awkward or ruining our friendship. I don't want her to think that I think she is just flirting with me because bi people flirt with everyone.
What do I do?
TL;DR: | I think my best friend likes me because she has started flirting (I think) with me a lot and I don't know how to approach her about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [20M] of almost two years has child support due. I [18F] don't know how to talk to him about it.
POST: In our relationship we've dealt with a lot of stress. I won't go into specifics, since it's not connected to the biggest issue I have. The very main issue, which I've dealt with since we got together, is that he has a son. He'll turn two this year.
Boyfriend refuses to see the mother or child, and when I ask how he'll handle the child support, all he replies with is "I'll figure it out". It's been about two months and he's figured nothing out.
He doesn't understand that there's no viable way of getting out of paying, and totally blows me off when I try to communicate this with him.
Also, throwaway for multiple reasons.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend thinks he can get out of child support, how do I communicate with him and actually get something out of the conversation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17 M] am suddenly feeling anxious about a relationship with [17 F]
POST: I don't have much experience with relationships, and I don't really know what's going on with me.
We were friends for a long time, and a few months ago I started to have feelings for her. Last night she held my hand and kissed me. After, I knew that this could definitely turn into a relationship, exactly what I had wanted over the past few months.
However, since last night I've had this awful anxious feeling that I can't get rid of. I almost feel like I'm regretting what happened, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is because I'm inexperienced or if this is just normal, but I want to know what's wrong.
Any advice, insight, or suggestions on what to do would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Had feelings for a girl, and now that she reciprocated (?), I feel anxious instead. Wondering what is going on with me and if this is normal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I (27F) decline a wedding invite from my friend (27M) without cutting him out of my life entirely?
POST: One of my [20sF] oldest friends [20sM] is getting married in a little over a month and I really don't want to go, but I don't really want to cut him out of my life entirely, and would like to have him (and would tolerate her) attend my wedding sometime in the near future.
Reasons I don't want to go:
I cannot stand his fiancee, this girl's levels of self-martyrdom, hypocrisy and delusion are off the charts. She's still a product of her environment though, and I really don't want to be around the people that made her the way she is.
Her MOH had a huge issue when my fiance dated a friend of hers in high school because he was a different race/religion. Bride to be would be furious if any of his friends had an issue, but since her MOH was the chauvinist in this case, suddenly acting that way was really beautiful and pluralistic. My fiance is willing to go and try and ignore her, but I'm worried that with the addition of alcohol I might get in a fight with her and look like the bad guy.
The wedding is being held in a town a few hours away that is known for it's high violent crime rate, and I don't want to take the risk of having to stay there overnight. Even though the bride to be is constantly talking about how rough of an area she grew up in, no one else is allowed to mention it or it's really "problematic".
TL;DR: | I'd like to continue to have this guy as a friend, but seeing him make a huge mistake in a shit hole town with awful people is really unappealing, how do I politely decline the invite? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife and I (both 40) can't agree on a home or even where to live
POST: This is clearly a first world problem and rather insignificant, but a problem for us in our relationship nonetheless. Our background- I'm a 40 M, in my 2nd marriage with 2 kids who live with us infrequently mostly for vacations and breaks though we see them often (so schools for them isnt an issue). My wife (40F) and I have been married for 2 years and presently live in a 2 BR apartment that she had owned prior to our marriage. She is now pregnant and due in September. We realize it isnt practical to stay in our place with a new one on the way.. as my kids already share a room which is getting challenging.
We both do well professionally. I work in the suburbs so commute out of the city to work.. She works in the city and walks to work. She plans to keep working at her same job, after taking time off.
Here is the dilemma. She wants to stay in the city for 6 years, until our baby would be school-aged and then move to the burbs. Schools in my city stink, so staying long-term isnt an option. She likes really new looking homes, and it is a challenge to find a 4 BR place in a good neighborhood in our price range.
Personally, I don't want to buy a home I see as a risk. I think having to move in 6 years is risky and I would rather buy a home in the burbs now, so if our home value, life circumstances, etc changes we are in a good school district already and dont have to sell the home for a loss (who knows what can happen), etc. I'd compromise and take a less than perfect home, with the plan we'd improve it over the next few years sa finances allow.. (we do well so I think we would be able to). She wants it to be perfect on day one and have a city home so she can walk to the park, restaurants, and enjoy city life.
I don't know how we compromise. Again, this is a silly problem to have, but we have it
TL;DR: | My wife and I want different things in a home. I want security in the suburbs, She wants a place in the city and then move in 6 years |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I (21m) have a strange situation and am not sure what to do about it...
POST: So to begin, I must state that I am a graduating college student and am living with my roommate (who has a steady girlfriend) at an apartment complex. Due to my graduating this semester and my lease not ending until next semester, I am trying to find someone to replace me at the end of the month and take over my part of the lease. This is where I would like some advice.
So this girl expressed interest in the place, and came by to check it out. As soon as I saw her I was stunned by how attractive she was. Looking back, it was strange because I acted like a completely different person around her. After about a half an hour of chatting she seemed still really interested and left. Since then we have texted small things here and there about the complex until she mentioned she wanted to learn how to play Magic the Gathering. It just so happens that I play a lot of Magic (even work at a Magic store) and told her to come back on Sunday and I would teach her and also meet my roommate. She said she would like to take me up on that so then leads to my conundrum.
What do I do? This is really weird that I am this attracted to her, since I have unusually high standards for no good reason, but she completely destroys those. I haven't been in a relationship for over 4 years now and have barely even gone on dates. Simply put, I really don't know how to start that kind of relationship with a girl. Also the complication of I am about to move out (out of town even) adds a layer of "is this even going to work, is this worth it" to the equation. I really don't want to scare her from taking over the lease, since that is super important to get someone this month, but at the same time I feel this urge that she is worth pursuing a relationship with, but am completely oblivious on how to even start that. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Completely incompetent on how to read/court, girl is super attractive but possible tenant, no idea what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Caught up in a love triangle
POST: I am currently caught up in a very messed up situation to me at least and I would appreciate any advice/insight that can be given.
Abouth 3 weeks ago I became really close with a girl that I now like, we would talk several hours each day, and we both have said that we look forward to when we get a chance to talk to one another. We just had a sort of connection where our personalities seemed to match up perfectly.
When she was at a family dinner, she texts me to say that she wishes I was there, and when I was at a party that was boring she tells me that she wish she could be there to keep me entertained.
She eventually texts me that she thinks that we could be more than friends once we get to know each other. I respond by saying that I feel the same way. Then she tells me that she also has feelings for another guy, that I know.
Since then we've hung out with each other around 3-4 times. Each time we would be very affectionate to each other, like holding hands. So it looked like things were coming along, we were getting along great I thought.
Now last week we saw a movie with a few her friends and we were still very affectionate to eachother. At the end of the night when I drove her home, I walked her to the door and we were hugging and I ended up kissing her, which she reciprocated. When we talked about our feelings later, she said that she was still confused between me and the other guy, and felt that the kissed was maybe rushed.
Ever since that night though, things have never been the same. When we talk online again she doesn't act like she did before, I get responses maybe 5-10 minutes a part. I know during the time the other guy is online talking to her, so I feel like I'm losing ground and I'm at a lose of what to do next.
TL;DR: | I like a girl, she likes me and another guy. I kissed her, and now I feel things are weird between us |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: My dad's identity was stolen in '89...and he just found out last week (Ohio)
POST: The mail man turned around in the back of our driveway, which I had never witnessed before in my life - or the fact that he handed the mail over in person. My dad commented that "this couldn't be good" and I immediately thought I was going to be sued by the person I was in a car accident with a few months ago.
No, it turns out to be even weirder. The first house my parents bought was re-mortgaged under my dad's name after he had sold it in '89. It's a tiny, shit-green house my parents have driven me past for nostalgia purposes when I was little. His name and a woman's name (we think the person they sold the house to) are listed as defendants in this. The gist of the letter states that he owes $50,000 and the house is being repossessed.
My parents' current house is paid off in full, and my dad is the type of person who saves enough money for a new car before buying one. He's very responsible with money, and my parents saved enough money to send my sister and me both to four years of college. This is partly why I'm so pissed off at whoever did this.
How does this even happen - did she (or whoever it is) need to get his social security number, ect. How did it go so long without being brought to my dad's attention?
My dad has been in contact with a lawyer already, and I feel like he'll be able to handle the situation, since he has documentation proving he's sold the house and so forth. I don't feel comfortable asking him about this in detail since I don't want him to think that I'm worried about what could happen financially. Anybody who could hypothesize the worst (and best) case scenario in this would be appreciated though, because my overactive imagination likes to know all the possible outcomes. I also want to understand what's going on. To reiterate: my dad doesn't even own the house anymore, and he paid the mortgage for the house in question years ago, before I was even born (I'm 19).
TL;DR: | Someone stole my dad's identity in the '80s and remortgaged his first house (which he had sold) in his name. Now they say he has to pay $50,000, which is bullshit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Please tell me it gets better
POST: Hi Reddit :) I'm 18 years old trying to figure out my place in the world. I'm a photographer/artist, and after high school my plan was to go to a major art school. I got accepted, got a scholarship, but in May I decided to switch it up and go to my local community college instead so I could work in my field in the corporate world while still keeping my college education on track. I now have a job with a photography studio and classes start next week, but today I woke up feeling so much anxiety over going to this community college. I. Don't. Want. To. Go. There. It's not the school I wanted to go to, and now here I am going there. I really wish I could backtrack and go to the art school, but it's too late and I'm stuck with this plan for the next 9 months. I know it could be worse, but right now I wish I could skip ahead 4 years from now to where I'm just DONE with college and can finally function in society like a "real" adult. I'm so done with the whole "what school are you going to?" question and I can't wait to be done with the next four years. Please, if you've ever been in my shoes, tell me it gets better! :(
TL;DR: | college student going to a school they don't want to go to. Severe anxiety about the upcoming year, encouragement needed and welcomed. The only thing I'm happy about regarding this school year is that I got Star Wars notebooks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [31 M] with my common law 26[F] 4.5 years, iv been ruining my relationship
POST: so my gf finally broke down and its all my fault. iv been being selfish with out evening knowing i am. Its like i always try to get tabs on whos done what to make it seem fair. i havnt done anything nice for here in quite some time, we recently bought a new place together ( he late grandmothers place ) and sold m first home. we had a chat last night that end with both crying and me feeling over whelmed with sorrow of how much hurt i have done to her. she said shes been telling me this for a year but i have not listened one bit. she said i change for a a bit but go right back to how i was.
im at a loss of what to do , well i know what i'v got to do but i dont know if she is willing to wait for me to figure it out. she told me last night that she thinks shes done with me. she said it feels like i only do things for her if it benefits me , which is true to an extent. i DO NOT APPRECIATE HER these are my words and my fault for not giving 110%.
I guess what i am asking here is, have any of you had a similar situation and did you wait for the person or after a certain point is there no turning around? did i push her to far away? ...
TL;DR: | gf said im selfish , after hearing her out i can see exactly how and why she feels this way, did i push her to resent me for so long its beyond repair? ... please forgive spelling and gammer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Help! My (28m) fiance (29f) doesn't know if she loves me anymore.
POST: Alright, we have been together for about 4 years now, and for the most part things have been fine, that is until recently. The part couple months I've felt a distance growing between us, and when I finally broached the subject she said she wasn't sure if she loved me anymore and asked for some time to decide. We're currently on the 4th day of a 2 week break.
She told me I could still contact her just not about our relationship, but every time I do her replies are short almost as if she doesn't want to. I offered to maintain my distance until the 2 weeks are up but she declined in the same short uncaring manner.
I'll be honest this is driving me crazy, this is the longest time we've gone without speaking in 4 years. To make matters better I drove away my best friend (on semi related reasons). At this point I just feel like she's going to decide to end it and as much as I don't want her to, I can't argue with her decision. What I've been trying to figure out is if I should just call her soon and tell her what I've been thinking of. On one hand I feel like I can prove to her that I'm still the man she fell in love with, on the other, I don't think I have that right anymore.
TL;DR: | I want to contact my fiance even though we are on a "break" is it a bad idea? Would it likely change anything? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with [18 F] starting to talk, not sure if she's interested
POST: So I messaged a girl last night on Facebook that I have never spoken to before. We have been talking, and it has been going great! I messaged her at 11 p.m. and we ended up talking until 3 a.m. She messaged me good morning today, which I have never had just someone I start talking to do. We have literally talked all day today so far, and it's been wonderful!
However, I have thought she was really attractive ever since I have met her. She is a really religious Christian, which I am fine with. I am a Christian too, but I don't go to church as much or anything. She asked me if I went to church, and I was honest with her. She didn't seem to mind that I didn't.
I really want to ask her out, but I am not if she feels the same way or not. There is something about her that I enjoy. We have only been talking for 2 days, so I don't want to just be like "Hey we've been talking for 2 whole days, date me".
When we first started messaging she didn't use smiley faces, but now a lot of messages have them. We have talked a lot about just random stuff like college, music, and what we enjoy doing etc. She just went to eat, and she said she'll message me as soon as she is done.
Should I ask her to hang out this week and see where it goes? Because next week I'll start a 2 week summer job that I won't have much free time to be able to see her.
TL;DR: | Started messaging gorgeous girl out of nowhere on Facebook. We've been talking a lot for the past few days with lots of smiley faces and questions about one another. I think she might be interested, but not sure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [29M] has tried cheating on me [24F], but I don't think he was successful. I don't know what to believe anymore.
POST: Reddit, am I a total fool?
My BF [30M] and I [24F] have been together for just over two years. I went away for a wedding one weekend this summer, and when I came back, I found some pretty startling things. We live together and shared a computer, so nothing was really private. We kept all of our stuff logged in, and I never thought about it twice.
I was looking for a photo on his google+ account (since they are automatically uploaded from his phone) and found some VERY graphic photos with him naked, masturbating, etc. He did not send them to me, so I was curious why he took them. Upon some further (and not complicated) research, I found out that he created a fake email address and was also looking at personal ads on Craigslist and Yahoo (among other things).
I obviously confronted him about this and he said that he was drunk and just wanted to look at pictures. He went in and wiped everything from his fake email account (but claims there was nothing there...) I was hesitant to believe him, but he was honestly really upset and I just didn't think he would be the type to hook up with some rando online (or cheat on me in general).
This was a month or two ago, and while he is still on probation in my mind, I have generally forgiven him.
HOWEVER, tonight when I was looking for furniture, I discovered a post that he posted on craigslist when I was traveling back in 2010. It says "Looking to have some fun with a hot lady tonight. I'm 28 and bored tonight. Send me a pic and lets see where things go".
To me, this shows a pattern of behavior, and I don't know that I can believe 1) that he was just looking at craigslist for pictures and 2) he actually wants to be with me and is not actively seeking opportunities to hook up with other people.
Again, I asked him about this post and his only response was "I have changed for you. I am sorry". What do I do reddit? Leave? Forgive?
Fool me once...
TL;DR: | My boyfriend previously posted an ad for a "hot lady" on craigslist and looks at personal ads while I am traveling. What to do?! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My GF(20) and I(20) have several differences, what does it mean for the relationship and our future?
POST: We have been together since 2010 and we are really happy with each other and we still love each other deeply. However, we have differences, pretty big ones, and i can't help but wonder how are those differences going to affect our future together.
Just to mention a few:
* She's an extrovert-ish kind of person who likes to go out and socialize, and recently she started clubbing alot because of her college events. Me, on the other hand, am completely introverted and i totally value us/me-time over going to any clubs; i dislike loud noise/music/bright lights but she sees them as something to relieve stress (basically the music prevents any thoughts)
* She likes drinking to get high and have fun, but i completely dislike the idea of drinking itself. Luckily we both don't smoke.
* She has lots of friends and social-groups, as well as participates in several CCAs, while i prefer to stick to my close-knit group of friends (4/5 of us).
Don't get me wrong, i'm not listing them to make it seem as though we're incompatible, and no one can be the judge of that but myself. Though, i'm really concerned about how these differences can affect us in our future. What will happen 2/3 years later? What about our marriage (of course i plan to marry her)?
Am i overthinking/overanalyzing this? Or are these differences big enough to matter (in a bad way)?
Thanks for any help/opinion you guys can provide. I really appreciate it.
TL;DR: | She's a complete extrovert, and i'm an introvert. How will this affect our relationship and future? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Politics: How do we stop the polarization?
POST: This is inspired by [this post] As I read the initial post, it hit me how polarizing it is. Obviously, Democrats are trying to do what is best for everyone and every thing, and Republicans are working in the interests of only the rich. It's really what I hate about politics, and why I only do a little research just before elections to try to find out what positions the candidates actually have and vote based on that. Trying to make sense of the crapload of rhetoric and mostly-wrong political ads is just overwhelming, and posts like this just add to it.
Well, here's another version, just to play devil's advocate:
* Which party of people who were never in the military wants to force the military to do things differently than they always have?
* Which party supports the murder of innocent babies before they have even had a chance to take one breath, obviously violating the right to life and liberty as promised in the Seventh Amendment?
* Which party supports overwhelming companies with safety requirements so strict that no one can live up to them? Which also creates an even greater gap between the cost of manufacturing locally and the cost of importing from countries that don't care at all about their workers?
* Which party likewise supports forcing companies to pay even more billions each year on lawyers just to make sure they follow all the new, copious amounts of environmental law passed by a powerful government agency which is not under any sort of regulation and is unelected?
* Which party is for the redistribution of wealth through taxation and vast welfare projects?
No matter which way you phrase things, you're preaching to the choir and making people who disagree with you rage at the obvious ignorance and one-sidedness of your position.
How do get past this? How do we move toward more rational political debate that allows for gray middle ground? I think a third party would help immensely, but I really don't see a third party being able to get enough support to be considered worth spending your precious vote on.
TL;DR: | The current two-party system in the US makes me rage at both parties and the rhetoric that paints one party as all-evil. How do we stop this madness? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, what do we have to do to revamp our education system?
POST: I'm very curious since so many of you teach. What do you need to teach kids that are failing? Money? A completely new curriculum?
Okay, so say if we come up with a new curriculum, how would someone go about changing the education system? Who do you have to talk to? Who do you have to convince?
I am a person who received his education in Florida. It's an inconvenient truth that the teachers failed me. (Not even the school system, the teachers). I didn't get to where I am today because I received the education from Florida, I am here because life kicked my ass and I had to figure out things that should have been taught in school! I mean, I didn't even know basic grammar and I graduated, and I feel like I wasted 18 years of my life.
I just fear that our population as a species has grown six times as much in the last hundred years and the curriculum that we use today is in fact outdated and not working. What do we do to fix this? I don't want to force kids to learn but I want to do something... what do we do?
TL;DR: | Come on you guys! We went to the moon, and you're telling me we can't fix our education? What do we gotta do to fix our education? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Just realized people assume I'm native when I apply for jobs
POST: Excuse the throwaway, but I have to share my real name to explain what is going on here.
So my name is Cheyanne. This just is my name, I didn't ever think much of it until I noticed that every other Cheyanne I met spelled it Cheyenne and was a native boy. I didn't mind that either because I was always a tomboy and thought it made me cool that I had a boy's name. I honestly had no idea racism was even a thing for a good chunk of my life so didn't think about the native bit at all.
But now I've been an adult for a while and racism has been clear for quite a number of years. Especially here, in Canada, towards the native population. For whatever reason, I still never connected that my name being Cheyanne might influence anything.
I still just thought it was sweet I had a cool name and especially cool I was named after a native tribe that got wiped out. Like.. I'm not native of course but I get to serve as a reminder of people that have suffered. It really became a part of my identity in that way but that is another topic
Today I was applying for jobs, and thinking about my past job in HR. It led me to think about people who have asked about my HR job "do you ever see a name and just skip the resume because of the name?" I answered of course not and I'd hope everyone who hires people is the same but they probably are not.
The point being, I made the connection between calling someone based on a name and realized that some people might very well think I am native when they see my resume, especially given the locations. So now I am wondering how many calls I got because of that, and how many calls I didn't get because of that.
And that's all.
TL;DR: | Realized that since Cheyenne is a common native name where I am from that people might be assuming I am native and calling or not calling me for interviews based on that.* |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Shit has hit the fan for me [19/F] and my ex [18/M]
POST: I did a dumb thing. My ex told me he wanted to hook with me the other day so I did. He promised to get back together with me when I come back to our school next semester. We held hands, kissed, etc. He said he loved me. And he wanted to see me on Sunday (today).
So I contacted him today. I called him and his new girlfriend picks up. She starts screaming at me to leave him alone, that I'm a stalker, that I'm crazy and pathetic. Then she texts me and messages me from his Facebook to leave me alone. I realize she has no idea what just happened between him and me so I screenshotted her the convo of him flirting with me and scheduling when to meet up. I never heard anything back. I got unfriended from his Facebook. Whatever. I figured it was only fair that she knew what was going on.
But then today I started talking to his ex best friend, who told me he cheated on me. Multiple times. Multiple women. Dates and sex.
I feel like someone ripped my insides out. He took me to the Tonys. Took me out to dinner. Introduced me to his friends and family. Opened up to him about my mental illness and trust issues. Spent so much time with him, talking to him and trying to make him happy. Making him gifts and messing around and sleeping over. It's all been a lie. I'm already fucked up and now I feel like I can't breathe.
I had trust issues before and now I understand why. The man I loved more than anything played me, and now he's playing this other girl. She said some awful shit to me. He's leaving her tonight to come back home to our college. I'm coming back to our college in January and I always envisioned me being there with him. I'm pretty much his only friend there too. I have no idea what to do. I'm angry and incredibly hurt. I can't believe this...
TL;DR: | called ex out for cheating on his new girlfriend with me. Then I found out he cheated on me too. I have to see him when I go back to school in January. Feel like everything is a lie. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How much do public high schools actually differ in "quality" around the United States?
POST: So I was lucky enough to grow up in a fairly "nice" school district on the west coast (we won some award for being awesome, and 2 other schools in the area were featured on a list of the best schools in the nation) but over the years I've heard some things about "public school" that have made me curious about just how skewed my perception of what this term means really is.
For a recent example, in an askreddit post about various gaps in people's knowledge the topic of geography was frequently mentioned as something that is no longer taught in schools. And while technically this is the case in mine as well, we certainly had enough world history/ ap world history courses that were available (if a student chose). And if a student wanted to actually apply themselves, they could pretty much take a full load of AP courses (I ended up with 10 by the end of senior year, for example).
TL;DR: | Does going to public school in an "affluent" area still have a major effect on the education one would receive? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 M] think I'm in love with my sister [17 F]
POST: Throwaway account for very obvious reasons.
Where to start? My life has kind of been out of control for the past few years. I've struggled in college, struggled being on my own, struggled making new friends, and struggled with romantic relationships. In the past year, things blew up terribly with me, a friend, and my now-ex-girlfriend...and everything really just went to hell in a handbasket.
Well...I've had one saving grace...my little sister. She's been there for me constantly...always listening to me, giving me advice...and has always been the first person to jump in and try and pick me up when I fall down.
We've always been really close siblings...and we've always had each others' backs.
However...this past summer...things got a bit weird...at least on my end.
After everything in the past year, I pretty much became gynophobic. I can barely talk to girls now...sister excluded. She cared for me so much over the summer...talking to me, helping me with everything after the surgeries I had over the summer...and somewhere along the line I realized that she was growing up and looked...really...cute.
God, it's so freaking awkward to even admit it to myself.
I know incest is wrong. I never intended to remotely feel this way. I don't even want to feel this way. But there's no way I can remotely tell her that I've somehow came to feel this way...I don't want to make things awkward on her end. And I really just feel like there's nobody I know I can tell...because I really don't want to have that sort of stigma attached to me.
On the plus side, I'm away at college so there is physical distance...but still.
What the hell should I do?
TL;DR: | Sister is the only girl I now feel comfortable talking to. I developed feelings for her. I am all sorts of confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Girlfriend is moving away for grad school, what are some things to help me get through this?
POST: So my girlfriend graduated with a bachelor's degree back in December and is now going to pharmacy school a few hours away. We were long distance for the year before she graduated and it was rough. Long story short she cheated on me and we have now spent the last 9 months fixing things while she has been home. I couldn't be more in love with her, I'm just worried something is going to happen again. I trust her again, I'm still a little skeptical though. I missed her like crazy while she was at school before, any tips on how to make it through this? She is the one I want to be with.
TL;DR: | GF moving a few hours away for pharmacy school, has cheated on me ONCE. Advice on not being overly worried and how to make it through? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: The man (25M) I (22F) love is actually talking to me. I need some advice.
POST: Let me start by apologizing for the amount of text.
So here's some background info:
We started dating while I was in the middle of a divorce (which is, of course, why our relationship was doomed to fail to begin with), so needless to say, I was a broken person going into it.
I pushed him away constantly without meaning to (ie, didn't show much affection, would dump my stress on him without supporting him as well, hid some things from him). He dealt with my crap and tried to be supportive for 2 years.
He broke up with me a little over a year ago because he couldn't take my crap anymore. We attempted to stay friends, but i was still a mess (low self-esteem, trust issues from previous relationship, had impossible expectations, etc) so I ruined that as well.
We started talking again 2 separate times; we fooled around during both times because we both still loved each other and we were both single.
He asked me to try again about 4 months ago, and I said I didn't have any feelings for him (lies). I started dating someone else.
He didn't speak to me for 3 months (3rd time of NC)
I messaged him a couple weeks ago about something important, and he just continued to talk to me. We've been maintaining subtle contact and have gotten together 4 times since.
I still love him.... In a more mature way now. I know I was a shithead. I know I hurt him really badly; I did nearly everything wrong except cheat. I'm not a broken person anymore. I still have some insecurities, but everyone does. Help me not screw this up. I don't want to push him away again... Even if all I get is his friendship.
I don't know how often I should contact him, how open I should be, how I should behave..... I'm so nervous that I'm losing all behavioral common sense. Any help is welcome.
TL;DR: | I really hurt the man I love, and he stopped talking to me a while back. He just started talking to me again and I don't want to screw it up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf[22M] of 3 years just broke up with me [22F] and I don't know why
POST: He came over saying he wanted to talk about things but before had been like no we're not breaking up. Then he basically broke up with me saying he still has fun with me, I'm still his best friend and he still loves me but he thinks things have gone downhill and he doesn't want us to end up resenting each other or hating each other if we keep fighting (things had actually been pretty good lately). He went on about how he wants to be friends and hangout etc.
Oh background also, he's in a band and tours a decent amount (but never any trust issues whatsoever, we talk all the time, he's very honest and I'm friends with the people in the band). He's leaving next week for a month and a half but we've done alot longer stretches apart (5 months straight when I lived in Europe)
Is it out of line to ask to speak again in a few days and clarify for closure? Also kind of hoping this may lead him to reconsider, as pathetic as that is.
TL;DR: | Is it pathetic to ask to speak again/ask him to reconsider? I know it's pathetic actually but should I? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Should I get back with an ex?
POST: I dated this one girl when I was in 7th grade, she dumped me, blah blah. The summer before freshman year she messaged me on facebook and wanted to get back together. We went to the movies a few times and walked in the park, we lived in different towns, so it was kind of difficult. She dumped me again, and said she was bi. Well, fuck. I was recently on facebook, and saw her commenting on a mutual friend's photo, and god damn, she looks great. She was still the only girl I've ever had any serious feelings for, should I start talking to her again, and how should I go about talking to her? I'm just feeling confused, I feel like we're both mature enough now that we could handle dating again, as I'm 17 now, and have a mode of transportation. It's been 2 years since we've had any kind of contact, and I haven't had a relationship that's felt as good as when I was with her since.
TL;DR: | Girl dumped me, asked me out a year later, dumped me again, feel like I might regret not trying to get back with her |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18M] with my girlfriend[18F], need some advice on the situation I am in. It is driving me crazy.
POST: I was drinking with my buddies and my girlfriend got mad at me for some issue that wasn't a big deal. (she admitted it wasn't) But I responded very angrily being under the influence. I told her if you don't answer the phone it's over. She answered I hung up. I said it again. No answer. I felt like complete shit after reading what I said. She is just really hurts and said that I always blame her in every argument. She said she needs time to think and gather herself because she feels empty. It made me open my eyes and realize this is true and I promised her I am done drinking and I will listen to anything more deeply. I love this girl so much but each day of things not being normal is killing me. We are 4 hours away from each other because I am in college. We have been together for over a year. I love her too much to give up, but I can't feel like this daily.
thanks.
TL;DR: | I screwed up, I feel terrible. apologzied. she needs time. but how much time can I take. |
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