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3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 15,July,2004 | I learnt a very important lesson today, always listen to what your optometrist says. I went to the city today to go see my optometrist and he told me he had to dilute my eyes so he could see the back of them. I was like 'Sure no problemo, do what you want'. He said that the drops would make everything glary (is that even a word?) and i would probably need to wear sunglasses on the way back home. Anyway, everything looked normal afterwards and i said i didn't need sunglasses because everything was fine (and i didn't know what glary meant). He said i should wear some sort of eye protection and i refused. The moment i stepped out of the building, sunlight reflected off every shiny object in the vicinity somehow magnified itself and forced itself into my eyes. So this is what glary meant. Everywhere i turned light and glare and man was it annoying, especially going over the bridge where the sunlight reflected off the harbour. So if there is one thing you learn out of this blog, it's that listen to people who know there profession really well, or you'll probably regret it. (N.B. It's nice to see that our blog is sufficiently alive though i reckon we could comment a lot more) |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 15,July,2004 | LoLz. jono...fruitsalad isn't our opposition. they're our friends! ^___^ but yes, our blog is alive once again! i'm feeling happy now. yay! oh and the Christianity thing actually clicked so I'm proud to say I am now a Bible-less Christian. (the Bible is coming next tuesday). The feeling of becoming Christian is quite unique...I wouldn't have done it without Ben and Adro --- thnx so much. you've both made me change my outlook on life. oh and jono...i loved that 'footprints' story ^___^ very meaningful =D and i still haven't started my geo assign...oh no. and all that english journal stuff...and chem, and maths, and....*runs away* PS. just to rub it in +++NSG has to go to school on monday!+++ ROFL |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 15,July,2004 | wow u kno yesterday we had 6 posts... now that's not the sign of a dieing blog now is it... and on the otha hand, from the opposition (fruitsalad) we had 2... now there's a clear winna and if ur still 2 slow to work it out its INTROSPECTIVE... btw wat does that mean/stand for. in fact is that even a word *looks up dictionary*. So I say that this debate goes to Introspective and we are the more 'alive' blog.... NEW: wow my HTML skillz suk, the RTF bar didn't come up so I thought I'd b smart n try 2 rememba wat happens wen u press bold... I ended up bolding pretty much the whole post. >. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 15,July,2004 | alrite....end of topic anyway, watching Hard Fate atm...its good. Flora Chan's in it! ^___^ Happy Birthday Tash!! yes. being online at 10 in the morning means i have no life. but anyway. bored. time to go. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 15,July,2004 | You want to knock soccer...well, im on jonos side. No one knocks soccer and gets to live with it. Simple fact 1: Stop getting so damn emotional and get over yourself. We are your friends and we are guys too. So from the head of male heterosexual - Stop having a hissy-fit and a whinge and pull your socks up. Apart from that, Ive got to agree with you: Jonos fucking bored shit and all that BULLSHIT he made up shows he is fucking bored. But that was gay to say he had no hope and say hes not a human. Thats just too emotional and personal shit. I mean he saying you are a girl was funny, but theres no truth in that, so thats all good. So wat am i trying to say...Well, its simply this: GET UR SHIT TOGETHER. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 14,July,2004 | im back in all the glorified magnificence. No longer am I confined to the tempermental flooble chatterbox. Ye well thats all I wanted to say for now. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 14,July,2004 | alrite. i'm okay now. more or less anyway. and i am inclined to blog to stick up for myself. firstly, i'd like to make a correction to jono's obviously crappy hearing skills - its was MR tam not MRS tam -__-'' this realli sounds like a debate...LoLz. with the 'you two are the best' bit - clearly jono lacks friends, whether they be male or female. no wonder you watch 'Friends' in such an obsessed fashion jono. i'm disappointed to hear that after watching almost every episode you have failed to understand the importance of having friends especially when you're feeling sad. 'i feel' and 'i have a weird feeling...' in this case does not refer to loving someone...but obviously you wouldn't know what its like to love someone now would you? *glare ^__^* i'm also questioning whether jono is human - being moody is natural when someone feels sad or depressed and it is only when it occurs in excess and to an unbearable extent can it be classified as PMS. '[feelin] regretful' is also another human quality which jono obviously lacks. pfft. jono...you are clearly bored --- i don't think playing so many games of DDR, watching Mean Girls, followed by soccer training was beneficial to your brain whatsoever. LMAO. aiya...bored malaysian jono...*sigh* you have no hope. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 14,July,2004 | 'i have this weird feeling in my stomach. feel like vomiting. i feel very moody. i feel like my life's turned from realli realli good to realli realli bad in a matter of hours. i've never felt like this before. i want to turn back time and relive my life - erase all of my life's biggest mistakes. i feel regretful.' I kno this may seem lyk an english essay but I'm gonna write it neway as I'm bored (unlyk andy wen i try to express things which r hard I don't ramble on in canto ^-^, I write about it). This may hv bin influenced my the watchin of Mean Girls but here it goes. also andy feel free 2 delete this if u feel it violates ur rights in ne way or sum lawyer mumbo jumbo. 'I feel' Andy is turning into a girl 'i have this weird feeling in my stomach' its called LOVE (insert a certain special sum1 here). 'I fell very moody' again this highlights my earlier claims of Andy being a girl... its a sign of PMS and also js general bitchiness. The notion u get from the text is similar to that of a song with whiny lirics. It brings a sad and dreary tone to the text and highlights the changes going on in a persons life. 'I've never felt like this before' this is because of the ongoing emotional changes which occur in an adolescent male or female. 'life's changed and its so hard to get used to' its changed 4 every1... js slightly differently 4 Andy :P. 'you two are the best' the fact that he spills and is comforted by his 'girlfriends' (not in the lovy-dovy kind of way) emphasises the inclination of Andy. 'i feel regretful.' this is a common emotion in those suffering from depression and trauma during the teenage years. However this syndrome is temporary and cures when the sufferer attains a new level of maturity. This fact is recognised by the author 'i'll be fine. just need some time to think about my life.' Another quick but temporary fix is an 'ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCHINO'. (>. shows the emotional changes that go on during the teenage years. The author 'Andrew Yeo' tries to express his views using personal experiece, nonsensical whining, the repetition of the word feel and peotic devices to convey his message to the lifeless readers hu visit this blog. He is turning into Annie Yeo, or mAndy as Mrs. Tam puts it :P Well i cud go on, but i won't This is totally untrue and is a sadistic attempt by me 2 'blog here to blog, no matter how meaninglessly boring it is' and also to improve my english skills. note: i cud give u a psychologists view of Granmaster chowy's theory of y this has happened to Andy but I won't. This theory of mine holds true in many other cases... including myself but in slightly different ways, u hv 2 kno the person 2 apply this theory... and also hv certain otha special characteristics so I won't post it here. I believe there is another reason y Andy is suffering this sickness but I won't post it here, its quite simple tho and may surface another time. Jono |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 14,July,2004 | Ok, the title doesn't have much to do with this blog, it's just a reminder to those who blog here to blog, no matter how meaninglessly boring it is. Anyway today I went to the beach...to do some research for my geography assignment. Thanx to Yi-Long, Jack and Ken for coming. It was pretty good, we took (well Ken took) lots of photos. Most of them had nothing to do with coastal management but meh. Handed out some surveys to some residents of Collaroy. One old man, who was very friendly told us about recent developments in coastal management (Did you know there are concrete pyramids 7 feet below the sands of Collaroy? Laid down as tank traps against possible invasion during WWII) Saw Harvey, who was also doing geo assignment. Had lunch, watched a movie (mean girls) and then went home. So remember keep the blog alive. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 14,July,2004 | i have this weird feeling in my stomach. feel like vomiting. i feel very moody. i feel like my life's turned from realli realli good to realli realli bad in a matter of hours. i've never felt like this before. i want to turn back time and relive my life - erase all of my life's biggest mistakes. i feel regretful. thnx eveyone for trying to help me. i'll be fine. just need some time to think about my life. this half-year has already had its ups and downs. i've built up the best friendship ever and yet i have lost friends. life's changed and its so hard to get used to. how i wish i could turn bak time. thnx shuyan and emily for being there for me...you two are the best... |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 14,July,2004 | FINALLY the first day of the holidz where i can stay at home and RELAX... had 2 get up at 7 yesterday 4 stoopid ortho n den rush to chats 2 meet andy at Timezone... u shud thank me or else u wuda bin bummin rnd chats all by urself lookin very....... Played ummm.... a lot of DDR (no1 2 c us embarass ourselves :P). It's fairly tiring, n excuse 2 lose weight. den we went 2 c Mean Girls. Yes i saw it n it was pretty funny altho a lotta ppl told me it was gud so it kinda killed it but still gud. Den I had 2 rush 2 socca trainin afta decidin it was a gud idea 2 get an Iced Chocolate... the timin was perfect straight from chats 2 socca 2 adro's sleepova.. even tho i wuz a bit l8. So my day was really full n I had about 15 mins of rest da whole day. ............................................................ rest of blog deleted, mbe sum otha time. this post is js there bc no1 has blogged 4 2 days n im tryin to reignite the flame... the passion... the spark... the fire.... the lust... the thirst ... the want... the longing... ok i'll shuddup now |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 12,July,2004 | Just like there are 2 sides to a coin, there are 2 sides to a story...or person. Let me present the boring but nice side and the crazily crude side. Nice Side I enjoy my life. Its just great to do IPT, considering the benefits we receive from it. Before, I was useless on the computer, but now I have managed to increase my proficiency. Imagine creating a DVD...it was beyond me before...How i enjoy studying IPT. Even the assignments are tasks which improve our knowledge and competency. And general school is a success. Without it, how can we learn? We would merely be pathetic flops on the street. Manly are playing wonderfully, they have really put the problems of the past years away and will only get better. Manchester United are definitely going to set the pace this year. Friends and family only assist in the joy of my life, with the postitive aura and flow. Geez, life is great... DA CRUDE SIDE WTF is going on??? Im fucking sick of the crap dats going through my life. Ill start wit sport. GET UR BLOODY ACT together u piece of shit eagles. How hard can it b to do well. Im sure im not da only one whos sick of ur shocking, abyssmal results. Beating da Tigs by 8. HOW CRAP CAN U B??? N wat da hell r u doing Man Utd. Stop buying nobodys like Smith n actually get some gud playas!!! Ur supposed to b da best club in the world...stop acting lik Liverpool (SO DAMN CRAP). School sux...Just ruin wateva fun in my childhood i have left. While da rest of youse only have 1 assignment, ive got 3 cos im a fuckn moron. IPT is a plague, get near it, sucks u in n swallows ur life. Vid assignment is a joke. Suppose to make a DVD but dat will prob turn out to b an atrocity. N all dat otha note taking BS. 50 hrs of my life...Yeh im pretty sure dat'll b gone once im finished. Make dat schools a joke. 80% of shit u learn is literally shit...ull neva use it agen in ur life. Thnx to shit barber, i look lik a square brick. Wen i do get ammo n a gun, ur da first on my list. SMS.AC, u keep sending me junk, so ur second. Thnx to da dikheads who screwed my footage, ur 3rd. Im in a pissed mood, so heres da 411. I dun believe in religion, but i think its gud for ppl dat do. If ur life is crap, religion really helps. N no one shud care dat God doesnt exist. Its really irrelevant. Bush n Howard r full of shit n someone shud take dem out like dey shot J.F.K. Waste our world and wreck our society y dun u??? Well get our revenge...Lifes really a bitch...it involves taking a lot n giving a little (but making sure u got media coverage) n destroying othas around u. Some guy said lifes everything u wanna make it to b. Dat was b4 he massacred 20 ppl. So b smart in da head, not in da brain. Cos everyones numero uno n ull only surplus if u wish to b in someones life. *NOTE* 'DA CRUDE SIDE' is a complete and utter fallacy and was just me bored and annoyed, attempting to BS some stuff up. In real fact, my life is very fine, but certain parts are crap, hence the exaggeration of the circumstances. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 11,July,2004 | Dude, that last blog was worse than my usual lack-of-substance blogging. You must be seriously bored. For all those who don't know it, after 2 hours of panic i have managed to find my geography sheets. Of course now my room looks like a bomb hit it (and no, my room doesn't usually look like a bomb's hit it) and i'll probably be forced to clean it up. But the important thing is that i found them. UPDATE: I am bored NOTE: Nobody blogs here cept me, andy, jack and jono. i think some deletions are in order admin..glares at andy. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 11,July,2004 | this isn't good. i'm turning into wayne and blogging with no substance. aiya. yes, its official, i am bored. home alone and bored. this is bad. oh wellz. that stupid sms site thingo is really stupid --- its doesn't work, all it does is spam everyone's emails. lmao. my forum thingo was actually pretty active last night ^___^ urlLink aNdY's DOMAIN and then i made another one because people said that the first one had too many ads... urlLink Cross-Talk but this new one is deserted and a lot of the things don't work. the coding and stuff is so complicated. oh well. i give up. and now i keep getting random sms activation codes....>. this is so pointless.............. where is the love? |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 11,July,2004 | Due to a few expressions of interest to the idea of heading up to Dee Why for a day, i have come about to set a day. Because i'm a nice guy we can either go on Thursday or Friday, i don't mind which. I haven't figured out any of the details so i'll get back to you on that. So if you're interested e-mail me and tell me wat day(s) you can come and i'll get back to you within 2 days. Note: you should probably contact me before Wednesday night so get on with it. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 08,July,2004 | Famous last words. Probably originated when school was invented (who gives a shit when that was). Its like a week evaporated into thin air. Most of us must be mulling over where that anti-climatical first week went. Some people go places, others stay home to be entertained by TV, comp etc. A very small minority do work. (What a bunch of tossers!!!) But then the realisation comes that only a week is left. Many critics may say a weeks a long time (sport generally). Others, like me, totally disagree. Especially when u havent touched 3 assignment due in successive increments. However, i still dont want to begin any of them... Wayne, going to Dee Why (or as you would like to call it 'Whoop Whoop') to gather necessary info for the geo assignment is a good idea. Gather some interested people together and ill help organise it. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 08,July,2004 | afta a very hectic 1st wk of the holidz im now in a kinda trance a lul yet i still hv quite a lot 2 do. RICE was gr8 and SHAME 4 all u hu didn't go. yes *shame* 1 of da things i learnt from debatn. One thing i noticed was that he spoke of 'lord of the flies' .... yes yummi essay material... which brought me 2 the shocking realisation that I have 2 do an essay on Lord of the flies b4 the end of the holidz... mbe ill js blabber on about the RICE talk. And in the nxt wk i hv 2 days of bball trainin, socca trainin.. sleep... an ortho and hopefull sumwhere i can fit in mean girls.. yes i want 2 watch it.. bc it lookz gud/funny gettin into the psychi of girlz.... a very messed up place... hehe psychoanalyzing ppl is fun... makes me wanna b a psychologist again... but then u meet all soughts of strange ppl... yeah well i guess i do neway. wich brings me on 2 work xprience which i am still yet 2 organise.... *sobs* so much rejection. ne1 else not organised n wanna 2 sum place wif me, newhere im gettin desperate and since i got rejected again on the tagboard i propose .... the nsb seafood marinara. or seafood basket thingy where we all adopt a certain seafood... 2 keep our blog alive and envigorate group spirit. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 08,July,2004 | ok ok i know it's 5 past 6 and yes i did just get up...from a totally wasted afternoon sleep. You see here is how i spent my day. I woke up at 9 and got up and 9:30 which was when my parents told me that we were going to yumcha and were leaving now. This prompted me to get dressed and cleaned in something like 10 minutes (and a pretty good job i'd say). I won't go into why we were going to yumcha on Sunday because it'll take too long. Let's just say it involves my grandmother who is staying here at the moment. Due to track work in the city, we caught a bus to central (again don't ask why we were eating in central). The first sign of trouble was when we got there and noticed quite a large crowd of people standing outside the yumcha place. This turned out to be people waiting for a table. Now we had to wait for a table and we waited...and waited...and waited and pretty soon i was quite pissed off and bored because i was hungry as i missed breakfast and i brought nothing to do. After an hour i rang andy out of pure boredom and talked to him from a payphone in the middle of this waiting crowd (note: if anybody ever wants to be a person i call out of pure boredom please leave a name plus number). By now i have a fat headache caused by loud random noise caused by annoyed people. Then i get pulled off the phone because we finally get a table. So i'm eating with a large headache still with lots of noise. Not good. When we finished we went to Chinatown etc. all the asian places asian people go in the city. I was travelling along in a kinda drugged trance due to headache. When we got home at 4 i went straight to bed and i just woke up. Anyway RICE was fun, saw lots of people, learnt some new stuff, relearnt some old, saw a HP3 (not that bad). And that was my weekend. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 08,July,2004 | hmm...this isnt cool --- our blog is dying >. on a happier note, i went to RICE last night! 米 RICE 2004 :: WHERE IS THE LOVE? it was great! wow. there were so many people, so many that i knew ^__^ the band was great, the singers were great (the second from the left was a bit over-enthusiastic i thought), the videos were very pro, the frankenstein play and 'dress-up' ian powell (i don't think people clapped for ian dancing --- they were clapping for nathan -_-'') was hilarious and the ian powell talk was really meaningful. =D ionno what it was that ian said (i've heard a lot of it before) but i think it was more the way he said it that made it very emotionally moving. no, i'm not christian yet..hehe, but getting there. anyone who didnt go this year, should go next year! (nathan wong: i'll bet RICE was more interesting than SAKURA SNOW concert thingo ^__^) |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 08,July,2004 | wow. i'm impressed. you pplz have actually blogged for the three days that i've been away at my aunts place! but then again....not much substance in your blogs wayne. hehe. well then, the reason why i havent been online is cos i've been at my aunt's place sleeping over so that i could conveniently wake up at 7 in the morning to get the UTS Broadway by 8:30. yes. me, adro, his brother jono, and jono chow went to UTS Australs 2004 to chair the debates. there were other ppl like koziol, kimson, etc there too....but yes. for those ppl like ben who don't know what chairing is, its keeeping the time of the debates, intro-ing the debators and serving food on the occasion, not ADJUDICATOR ^___^ yes. we didnt do much in terms of DEBATING but chairing debates between Australiasian teams (HK, Beijing, Australia, NZ, etc) was really good experience. i really cbb to outline the happening of these three days in a blog --- if anyone is bored, namely wayne, you are welcome to ring me about it. lmao. but yeh. three late nights, a lot of debates, a lot of support for honky teams, made new friends, watched random short movies and even sang Shannon Noll's 'What About Me'. that's the general jist of things...it was a worthwhile experiece...and i also became familiar with UTS Ultimo. cheerz. ill c everyone at RICE i hope ^___^ |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 07,July,2004 | Gus Gould said it the best: 'I get a fair bit of criticism from what I view to be either immature misinformed people who get intimidated by their own insecurities or get intimidated by what they don't understand. I coach for the players, I coach for the game. What I've done over the last three years I don't want any raps for but I don't deserve the shit you've fucking given me. Not one word of it...You tell me what happened tonight. The shit you dished up to me over that, I'll remember it. A few people haven't shown their faces this week but I'll remember it. You go hard, go as hard as you like. You haven't broken me in nine years and you won't break me now.' He's not the only one that is sick of the bullshit and prentiousness that occurs in society nowadays. Every one seems to be so goddam self-conscious they wont even tell the truth in case it wrecks their own high view of themselves. E.g. You should be more subtle about what you say... Im not going to say something nice and disembled just to please some person. If its shit, its shit. If its good, its good. Simple, clear-cut statements. None of this 'well, it is intriguing and shows you have tried your best.' Face it, this means YOUR TERRIBLE. GO GET A NEW HOBBY. The world is a worse place if there are not enough people who will just tell the truth. GOULDY, you wont ever be forgotten. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 07,July,2004 | Thank you Jack, for bringing back into the wonderful reality of assignments. I wanted to blissfully ignore the fact i had a geography assignment for the whole holidays, but you have managed to bring my attention back to it once again. Speaking of geo assignments, does anybody want to head up to Dee Why next week for 'research' for our geography project? |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 07,July,2004 | Sorry guys, but this reminders to make sure we dont forget and suddenly realise were fucked on the last day of the holz. 1. Geo Assignment This ones for everyone. Some bullshit and pictures should do the trick. Refer to coastal management. 2. IPT Assignment Only a small minority of ppl. Get firewire card, jewel case, Adobe Encore and Premiere, Audacity, microphone, etc. Editing and production. If you havent grabbed footage, dont panic, still 5.5 weeks. 15% and definitely dont screw it. 3. Maths Assignment 4 ppl. Aba, Lotto, Hazza and me. Do logbook, both personal and group. Suggest changes. This probably isnt for everyone, but it might save you from going 'OH SHIT!!' on last day of holz. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 05,July,2004 | This is so seriously boring. I'm actually thinking about doing some school work to bring me out of this meaningless trance-like state I am currently residing in. So damn bored!!! Very Andy go chair debates for 3 days with Adro. think about it, how fun can it possibly be to CHAIR a debate for 3 days *sigh* (yes i'm going to the use the sigh). Anyway this holiday has been so useless. I should be doing science booklets for gondek but i'm just to lazy. Maybe if i change my work ethic, this holiday won't be so boring from now on. Nah. Not state the obvious or anything, but this blog is dying. Somebody come up with something new and exciting to make it good (don't mock my lack of vocabulary). Did i mention that: I'm so seriously bored it's not funny Yeah i think you got that. As you can see i'm blogging out of boredom which is probably not a good sign. P.S Very Jack, post the short version of 'beware of greeks and their corner kicks' on your blog and paste the fat version on ours |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 05,July,2004 | Slightly coincidental that the day Greece prevailed in the world sport of Soccer in the European Championships of 2004 held at the country of Portugal, I also watched Troy on DVD. As one has guessed, sport plays an integral part in today's society. This is exemplified by the hordes of people gathering in their respective cultural centres for yesterday's thrilling final. Those who can not play sport or unable to successfully integrate it into their lives are miserable people. Whether soccer, tennis, basketball, rugby of all kind, etc, sport is an invocation of emotion. Take Wimbledon. Federer and Sharapova are Champions. Just see them at the end of their matches. It is an example of pure ecstasy and joy. As much as one can criticise the misdemeanours of sport, one can not criticise the goodness and positive emotion it brings to people around the world. To break this seemingly random blog, I state two things, unsurprisingly from the arena of sport. Andy Roddick after Wimbledon final against Federer at All England Club: 'I threw everything and the kitchen sink at him (Federer), but he went to the bathroom and got the tub.' Andy Roddick at press conference: 'Is she (Sharapova) going to wear a long skirt or a short skirt? I wish I was champion so I could go to the party...Uhhh, I guess I'll just crash it anyways.' Sport also brings a state of humour that would otherwise be unachievable in the daily drudgery of our lives. (You have to say Roddick is pretty funny). It also embellishes a side of goodwill and gracious defeat. It lets out all the 'BOOHOOs' (Cristiano Ronaldo crying after the defeat of Portugal in EURO 2004 Final), while also bringing sheer adulation and delight ('King Otto' embracing his successful troops in EURO 2004 Final). Hopefully, some anti-sportarian will read this and permanently remove his/her negative beliefs against SPORT. With the consuming media nowadays, one usually only sees the negatives of sport, e.g. drugs in athletics and cycling, etc. It is sad to view hundreds upon hundreds disgust sport, as much as one disgusts school. The time of change is upon us. No longer will we live in an age which constantly condemns sport, no longer will we be brainwashed by the despicable tactics of the media. Tonight, marks the era of change, when the underdogs will be crowned champions, when more people will participate in more sport and when people will embrace sport, not deny it from their lives. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On a totally differrent note, does anyone want to organise something in the holidays? I was thinking Zone 3 and then we could all crash at Andy's house (like one obviously does). Getting drunk is up to you ;) (Note: I do not condone any alcohol of any kind...except 5 COUGARS THANX!!!) If you are still reading this....well, you have plenty of spare time. Im disappointed Portugal didnt win. Im disappointed Ronaldo didnt slot that chance at goal in. Im disappointed that Manly consistently lose by something to 50. Im disappointed everyone says Spiderman 2 is bad. Im disappointed that I couldnt watch or listen to EURO 2004 Final. Im disappointed that I didnt get Shrek 2 on DVD. Disappointed seems to be the word of the day for me. Boredom also sets in terrifingly quickly. I think I will stop now...Im sure I have definitely bored and disappointed all of you. May life be beautiful and joyous. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 04,July,2004 | .... 4 once i hv stuff 2 do in da holidz米 friday afta skool watched Shrek in da ct .... ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GUD, every1 must c it if dey hvn't alrdy米 den on sat we had socca zzZZzz had 2 wake up at 7... its lyk skool neva finished :S米 n we won :D 5-1 2nd win of da season米 n den went to RICEFEST!!!!!! it was pretti gud.. crowded n long lines tho but cheap food's alwayz gud :P米 2day went 2 chats 2 hv much needed bball trainin米 we went 2 chats hi where all dese lil guyz were hvin a socca camp n den i had 2 leave early 2 go 2 hornsby n meet up wif sum friendz 2 do duke of ed comm service trainin thingy at da lib米 :| only took 15 mins米 fought it wud take at least an hour米 well gud neway cos i got 2 go SHOPPIN:D. ahhhhh its da best time of yr米 holidayz n stocktake sales ^-^ wahh everyfing so cheap. got NBA LIVE 2004 50% off米 hehe now we can copy dere plays n use em in our games米 yes dats da reason i bought it of course米 n also got bball shorts 75% off w00t no more wearin dodgy shorts in games :D米 n now still bz 3 days of debatin chairin (we get a free tshirt .. YES!) n den bball trainin again on fri n den RICE where is da luv on Sat米 im gonna b dead at da end of dis stretch米 n den bludge nxt wk and on dat note EVERY1 COME 2 RICE米 and there r no subliminal msgs in dis post about 米米米米米米米米米米米米米米米米米米米米米米米米米米 btw 米=RICE yes... even wif my limited chinese knowledge i still kno it |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 04,July,2004 | dude...our blog is dying >. > for the duration of the 'chat with client', me and my dad sat outside coles, on the sofas reading. for like the first time in my life, i read an APC mag cos i didn't bring anything to read. this went on for like one and a half hours! arGH! i TRIED to make the most of optus freetime with my mum's fone, only to realise that not many ppl are with optus anymore! arGH! only, like 3 or 4 ppl are --- emy, fel, ada, justin, daz. obviously i wouldnt ring daz or justin, they don't talk. i rang ada to find that i shouldnt have rung her. i didnt know what to say to fel. so i tried emy. she didnt pik up. *sigh* *yes adro, i sighed. hehe* when she rang me bak, she was having dinner so i couldnt hear her very well. aiya. so if you havent gotten the jist of this blog, i am saying that WHOEVER HAS OPTUS PLEASE TELL ME so that is can ring them when i'm bored. as for today, nothing happened. won't blog in the next three days, off to aunts house to sleepover --- the convenience of having someone living in chatswood so that i can get to the CT for the UTS australs ^__^ shame that they're moving soon. darn. EVERYONE GET OPTUS MOBILES! *adro...kekeke...stop being lazy* |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 04,July,2004 | What is the purpose of the last day of school/term/year (you get the idea)? Why does this day exist? The answer to that question would be because without it school would continue on forever. Think about it, if there were never a last day of school then theoretically school would continue on without ever stopping. Now most us you would agree with me and say that whatever government department comes up with such a notion deserves to be burned down and have their ashes nuked. But for those who find never ending school a miracle then you deserve to be locked in the same government department while it is being burned and later nuked. But is this the correct answer? I am endeavoring to find the meaning of the last day, like those who endeavor to find the meaning of life…without much luck. The last day of school has many different perspectives depending on what school you are from. If your from say Killara where the students pretty much rule the school then the last day of school means one word “CHATSWOOD”. If your from my school where the school rules the school then it means “turn up if you want, we can accept the fact that you don’t want to come to this moneyless hole, but remember this is only one of four days in which you can do so”. If you’re from NSG where the school rules the school with an iron fist then it means “turn up or DIE”. So from this I have gathered that if you go to NSG then there is no such thing as the last day of school effectively meaning that school will never finish for you. To this I can only say it’s your own fault for having enough money to be able to pay your teachers enough to work every day of the school term. My last day of school went something along the lines of this: 1st period- listen to one 5 minute English speech, invade a Yr 9 classroom so we could watch their movie and eat their chocolate. 2nd period- go online and play computer games. 3rd period- shock horror, I actually have to use a pen. Wrote half a page of notes, munched chocolate, talked about pop culture. (I notice I’ve had a lot of chocolate by now) 4th period- run between jap room and computer room to copy files for presentation. Sneak out halfway through due to lack of interest in subject. Should probably mention that the teacher was watching while I walked out for an early lunch. 5th period – played table tennis. Decided to leave at 2:30. Unfortunately there was no bus so I went back to school to watch basketball. 6th period – watched basketball. Felt depressed due to lack of happy happy endorphins. As you can see I would have been much better off staying at home that day. Last year on another last day, I was walking to school with the Su’s (for those of you who don’t know who they are they are extremely smart twins who dress the same. Most of us consider them to be one person instead of two hence the collective term “The Su”) and we were discussing the last day. Through this discussion I mentioned how the last day should be cancelled. The Su pointed out that doing so would just create another last day and if you continue canceling last days then a school term practically won’t exist. I said something like “So?” to which the Su replied with a withering glare. During this conversation I mentioned my plan for education in the future. I won’t tell you it here, but it involves brain transplants, microchips and one or possibly several very large computers. Basically it eliminates the need to go to school at all and it was my answer to the lack of existence of a school term. So from this I have concluded that the meaning of the last day is…I have absolutely no idea at all. Although, I have managed to find the reason for its existence, I somehow think that this is not the entire meaning. It’s like one piece of a 3D jigsaw puzzle recommended for people over 25. So to recap I don’t know the meaning of the last day, but if you do feel free to tell me anytime. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 04,July,2004 | wow. haven't posted for quite a while. let's continue this lil RICEfest posting. yes, im not christian and i went. lolz. met jeff at strat station and waited for ben to come and pick us up. he took us bak to his house where we saw his maltese! joey. hehe. realli cool lil doggie. so yeh, went on a lil tour for jeff around the house, before we left for concord in charissa's car. when we got there i saw so many ppl! the line was huge and i met heidi for the first time, i saw tina and josie (wow, its been ages since ive seen em), alex zhang (ps friend who went to ruse), and all those other ppl from our skool. NSB: (yr10) me, jeff, jono, ben, almo, stanton, york, chi, nathan, joseph, jamie (with sisi). (yr 11) tommy, kelvin, phillip, (yr 12) tim....yes, that 'tim' and some other dudes i didnt know. oh and i think i saw lora wid jamie and co. at burwood station when i left? was that lora? hmm... overall, the fete was interesting. wasn't realli relevant in terms of chrisitanity lolz. it was more a huge gathering. lots of singing. there were three talks, only heard the first two. as doug said, the jumping castle brought back good memories. got my hair sprayed fluoro green...didnt turn out properly though. they had like, soy sauce drinking comps, lemon eating comps, blindfold dodge ball, blindfold wack-a-leader *grins at ben*, RICE idol and a load of other stuff. well worth our time. ^__^ yes...i know, its realli far away for north shore line ppl...but think about it, i am NON-CHRISTIAN and i live FURTHER away than all you nth shore ppl...and i WENT. so you should all go nxt yr. tina and josie wanted me to go spiderman wid them...hmm...but apparently it's not that good? hmm...so anyway. that was that. mum's bday today. going to bondi cos she needs to meet a client. hmmm.... she's getting consumed by her work - which in a way is good - cos she doesn't pick on me as much. lolz. hmmm... has anyone ever gotten that feeling where they have a lot of assignments/work and they still feel bored? i feel like that now. i should go and study for physics and maths and other stuff too...but i feel bored! dude. and then there's the three days of chairing for debates at UTS this week. wow...im pretty occupied. any idea where we're gonna eat before RICE 'where is the love' talk on saturday pplz? and adro --- i didn't sigh AT ALL in this post! what an accomplishment. keke. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 03,July,2004 | Mai opinion on RICEfest... I thought the RICEfest was heaps good... from our group... me, Ben, Andy, Jeff, n Jono went... n i think we all had a good time! There were: 3 short talks... (i thought they were pretty simple, but they were to the point) Jumping Castle! - I thought this was the best part! so much fun... (bak in the old days...) Heaps of food... (specially Rice!) Prizes (tho we din't get much) n last of all... since we're all azn, 'Good value for money' . Anyways.. i thought that it was real good! If you've missed out on this event, well... 'better luck next year' Seriously, now. If you've missed out on this event, then at least go to the second one... 'Where is the love?' . This event will probably be bigger n better than the RICEfest, n will be a real great night! If you still havn't been notified bout it... then go to urlLink rice.hypox.org to get info. See ya there! |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 02,July,2004 | Ever had that feeling where you were at school, and there was half the school there, and you wished that it was like that all the time? Probably not. But yeah that's what I'm feeling now. It's period 4 of the last day of term 2, and I'm here in A1 doing nothing. Waiting for wood to dry. So how's HOME for all those people who decided to jig? This is so boring. Going to go home in about an hour. Later. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 10,August,2004 | For those that are watching the slow and agonizing demise of this blog, may your hopes be rekindled that a glorious reincarnation of this morbid blog be of coming. Your calls of distress and gurgled moans of blog death have finally reached my ears and I will from now on make some fevered attempts at preserving this blog with pointless posts and banter before it completely withers away and fades into oblivion. Through the judicious use of skill, tact, strategy, grace and so much cunning that you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel, I will attempt to salvage what remains of this stricken blog. Only the small obstacle of not actually possessing any of these skills and traits and possessing the negative inversions of them may prevent such a miracle. If I were to say post any blathering utterances onto this blog, along with that industrious Andy chap, then perhaps there is some hope. Unfortunately I heavily doubt that my wasted frame posses any such stores of either effort or will power to be consistent in such a thing. However, I have identified this particular deficiency in my nature and compensated many fold by an ingenious plan which I will now shortly divulge. For you see, I say that we could hook up numerous autistic monkeys freshly smuggled in through the most dubious of trench coats and stuffy boxes from third world countries that have only the sole purpose of exporting autistic monkeys to supplement as writers of this blog. I’m sure that some of these confounded animals won't nearly cut the grade at all in their ability to produce coherent matter no matter how long they bang away, but I say give them enough time and idealistic imagination on the readers behalf, they may well be half as bad as I am. Besides, when compared to the rest of the Internet, their work would positively shine like a dim half a watt home brand light bulb on a sea of steaming black animal feaces. Enough of my convoluted crass talk. I will promptly stop myself before the sane and the impressionable are afflicted. Then again I am not the type that would bugger a lark for what consequences I produce, so you may well expect further exercises of hard, confusing reading in the future, although don't be surprised if its by a monkey of some type. Yours, Weller, the fashionably deranged. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 08,August,2004 | 'They were like brothers to me, not like real brothers, but brothers in the way black people say it.' no.1 Metro but he's sooo cool 'If I have a day off I'll spend four to nine hours in front of the mirror, trying just a tilt of the head or a furrow of my eyelash. I mean my body, my face are my tools.' 'I guess I have a lot of things to ponder' hmmm reminds me of sum1 :P |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 07,August,2004 | ... rndm acronym I made up :P. TACP=take a chill pill... Seeing as every1's writing all these deep n meaningfuls take these wise words from Grandmaster cHoWy. u guyz get 2 worked up. 'Lets stop spending time on the comp and do more stuff we can look back' pfffft yeah rite, hu u kiddin. I tried this b4, tryin to do useful stuff so u can b proud .. doesn't work ... u js need to 'calm ur farm' n hv fun. This life is temporary so no need to do all this fancy look back at stuff because u neva kno wen 'ur friends mite get killed in a freak petrol fight accident'. (I fink dats how it goes??? corrections). haha lets hv a Edebate. Js lyk pokemon cards and yoyo's blogs r a fad. They're gud while they last but don't go ohhh i wasted my time.. i spent time/money on pokemon cards.. and i don't regret it bc it was gud wen it happened, I kno heaps of ppl go.... awwwwww i shudn't hv done that but really i wudn't change nething. 'No one gives a shit about our blog.' You cut me deep Jack u cut me real deep... Srsly if ur not on ur computer wat r u going to do... become a nerd n study all day, well 'Earth to Andy', that's not going to make u happier, prouder, less pissed off, or nething in the future or now. ''haha andy, you don't have any friends anyway'. that would be the person that always jokes around, is fun loving, not the type to comfort a friend but is usually really smart.' wow... ur psychologist brain is really coming thru.. u passed dat test :P wif flying colours, so true, very insightful thinkingness, i wuz js thinking that while i was reading ur blog. 'i'm not even 15 yet' ?!?!?! yes u r.... or mbe im js lost :S 'i'm thinking about all the problems in life...dude' . Earth to Andy, that's nothing special, every1 does... and TRUST ME once u get ova the little dillema life js gets betta n betta, I kno from experience, sumtimes u js need a lil bump in the right direction(not sure if ne1's noticed ne changes in me ova time... but i kno i have). And about u being a metro .. is that such a bad thing, I mean every1 CARES about their appearance, or more correctly their IMAGE. Not necessarily looks but test scores or computer techiness or their perception by other ppl. To be labelled sumthing which defines you is not necessarily a bad thing, if u rn't then its another story. Sum1's a lil unhappy abt himself *tear* 'I hate myself at the moment' and that is the reason y u don't lyk being called a metro. I 2 hv been 'jokingly called a metro' for ..... various reasons :P hehe we can b metro buddies but I don't mind. If i'm a metro im a metro (not that i necessarily am). on another note, not blogging/using your computer and chatting isn't going to change nething, ull js ahve more spare wated time, and that's not a gud thing. The real cause of the problem, is much .... deeper hehe INNER JOURNEY - english. newayz, since every1's deserting me I kno no1'll come bak to read my blogs *sigh* so if i don't post here again its good bai from grandmaster cHoWy ~a.k.a Mr. Match ~ grandmaster cHoWy |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 06,August,2004 | I reckon Andys right. Were wasting our lives on this blog crap. Lets stop spending time on the comp and do more stuff we can look back at and be proud. Yeh, Im sounding hella weird, but I never blog anyways and no one but Andy blogs. Reasons for Shutdown? 1. No one but Andy blogs. If he doesnt blog = Dustbowl. 2. Our privacys out the window. 3. No one gives a shit about our blog. 4. Its a fad. Lets get over it. 5. Sitting our your ass doesnt help you. 6. Prevents us doing work. 7. We go to a 'good' school. Lets pretend that we are students of such a school. I cant think of anymore but theres tonnes of reasons. What do you guys think??? Alright, now to shake off that weird shit, heres some emphatic words. MANLY AND MAN UTD - DO IT FOR UR FANS Go Rockets. Go Swans. Go Australia in anything. GO CHINA>>>KICK JAPASS. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 06,August,2004 | do you ever get that queasy feeling where you don't know where your at in life? that's what i'm feeling now. this blog is going to be long. as i've been mentioning over the past few weeks, i've made all these mistakes and my most recent one has been life changing. i wish we could go back and wipe out these mistakes. friendships have been made in the course of my life but there have been a few which have been broken. previous ones haven't ben as devastating as the recent one. then there's the exams that i don't study hard enough for because i procrastinate and then i fail them --- namely maths. it's obvious what the problem is but you can't yourself to change it. i sit in front of this computer almost everyday, spending time blogging, chatting on msn when i could be doing something productive and furthering my education and yet i can't pull myself away from the computer. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 06,August,2004 | get over it people . lmao. yes, i can only go to nsg on mufti days and only twice a term at that...that is no reason for me to celebrate when it's mufti...nsg is not really that exciting considering i talk to people on msn half the time anyway -.-;; bah. so yes...the only thing that happened at nsg this morning was finding out didi's new way of speaking since she got plates, and also about emy's sis going around the house saying ' なんだいよう ！？' --- along those lines. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 05,August,2004 | Sorry guys, i guess im just not the writing onto the 'public network that involves connecting millions of people to a variety of data and information.' Plus, ive been very buzy of the past couple of weeks....e.g. Ipt trial and 5 periods of testing today. Wonderful....F*ing tired. I think my neck becane permanently distorted today. Heres a new song thatll eat up some space I heard you're doing ok But I want you to know I'm a dick I'm addicted to you I can't pretend I don't care When you don't think about me Do you think I deserve this? I tried to make you happy but you left anyway I'm trying to forget that Im addicted to you But I want it and I need it Im addicted to you Now it's over can't forget what you said and I never wanna do this again Heartbreaker... heartbreaker... heartbreaker Since the day I met you And after all we've been through Still a dick I'm addicted to you I think you know that it's true I'd run a thousand miles to get you Do you think I deserve this? I tried to make you happy I did all that I could Just to keep you But you left anyway I'm trying to forget that im addicted to you But I want it and I need it Im addicted to you Now it's over can't forget what you said and I never wanna do this again Heartbreaker... heartbreaker... How long will I be waiting? Until the end of time I don't know why I'm still waiting I can't make you mine I'm trying to forget that im addicted to you But I want it and I need it Im addicted to you I'm trying to forget that im addicted to you But I want it and I need it Im addicted to you Now it's over can't forget what you said and I never wanna do this again Heartbreaker... heartbreaker.. im addicted to you... heartbreaker... im addicted to you... heartbreaker... im addicted to you... heartbreaker... im addicted to you... heartbreaker... Simple Plan with Addicted. Pop Rock to the max. Thanks for that Simple Plan... HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA, You cant kick me off anymore Andy, I blogged. Im addicted to you... |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 04,August,2004 | australian language competition for japanese today. it was really bad since we had been entered into the intermediate division one year in advance --- it was hard. put simply, half the grade guessed half the questions with the exception of yi long *you freek* and jeff with his hsc jap coaching *glares* and also those people that cheated off jeff *nudge*. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 04,August,2004 | I'm saving this blog from it's continual lack-of-substancy-type blogs (i.e. all the blogs andy has written while he is bored...so practically every single one). I'm blogging during english because english is boring and i severly hate it at the moment, so much work due. If anybody has anything Alfred Hitchcock and his filming career could you please send it to me. Anyway today was pretty boring. Sniffed about a dozen different organic chemicals, all marked with a label that said POISON. Felt kinda dizzy afterwards and everything smelt like hospital swabs for a while on the accout of the amount of alcohol that entered my nostrils during that 55 minute science period. Also did the ALC (Australian Language Certificate) for jap today. Was extremely hard and i was reduced to guessing aimlessly, good to see that almost everyone else was the same way, except for Yi Long because he's very good at jap. Said he didn't need to guess on any question. Isn't something missing, isn't someone missing me... |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 04,August,2004 | I am now immune to the administrator's wrath of threats. Then again Andy might remove this blog, frame me for not blogging and forcefully extradite me to a place unknown - tushey. Blogging, similar to ranting and raving I see as a form of whining, whinging, whimpering (excuse alliteration). Why should one live in the past and reflect on whats happened. Move on I say! I shall stop now. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 03,August,2004 | maths test was crappy. yes i know it was easier than the other ones...but i screwed up so badly --- at least i think i did. after maths test was geo where i took josh leong's billet, shiho ootake, to geo even though he's in my class. she was really friendly actually. english was ok. we read to kill a mockingbird again. cracked up when i heard almerick's canto pronunciation and his face. don't ask me why. he was being annoying. but now everytime i look at his face i will crack up. as this blog is read by people of all ages, i will refrain from talking about the slightly more disgusting aspects that materialised onto almo's face =) vball try-outs was boring. pointless. stuffed up. why do we have to have rixon as our teacher now?! *sigh* the jap billets joined in the game near the end and they were surprisingly good. and now i am home alone once again...being bored and typing a blog. i am really pissed at my maths performance and i will ... before the end of this year, dramatically improve...i hope. i will now proceed to go cook dinner, read to kill a mockingbird, do my english, do my history, read stuff on euthanasia for premiers cup debate, and feel regretful... random: 一拍兩散 by joey is a good song. having your life turned upside down sucks. having parents that log your internet usage is funny *wayne*. legal age for learners is 16 and will not change in the near future according to the RTA. results of yesterday's debate is up on urlLink hidden 'its hard to forget those happy times...' |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 03,August,2004 | i think i will start this month with random yet meaningful titles which do not in anyway reflect the contents of my blog... the only reason i am online and blogging is because i need to take a rest from maths and also to try to maintain consistent blogging. i spent 3 hours doing maths --- the longest amount of time since like...never?! so here i am taking a rest and expressing my thoughts. no. 1 the fact that no one on this blog actually blogs half the time -_-;; i am the only one that blogs almost everyday, followed by wayne and jono. ken, jack, weller, yap, and doug have virtually disappeared and my fellow admin - adr0 has also vanished. outrageous i say! i'm considering kicking off half the list really... anyway. today was school-free day because of *yes tash...that again...drumroll* debating at UTS for premiers cup. i will post results up on my site after maths test tomorrow but for now, our team won 2 out of 3 debates. it was nice going back the UTS --- the good memories of australs =) the topics were crap, the adjudicator was monotonously boring *he wrote less than a page of notes per debate*, we were stuck with him for all three debates, nsg entered their yr 9 team not their yr 10 team, we lost our prepared debate and won our unprepared debates, alastair rambled on for 8 minutes about porn and its detriments, the opposing second speaker said that 'pornography shows intimacy and closeness ', our first debate was really funny, the adjudicator told us that using 'shame shame' and 'hear hear' was not acceptable, me and adr0 did not speak at all today --- we provided moral support, the yr 9's raced each other up 11 flights of stairs, i am freezing atm, i do not want to do the maths test and i shall stop now. 'having a friend who doesn't talk to you is worse than having an enemy who hates your guts...' |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | w00t we won today, AGAIN *in very smug and boastful tone*:P. 48-22 (and i scored 4 pts ^-^) hehe we actually played well this time... altho i can't say much for the opposition, bumped into sum all primary skool friends hu we'll b vsing .... sumtime time to study for maths now -_- |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 02,August,2004 | weird day today . spent most of recess running around. handed in geo assign and was gonna go talk to podmore about premiers cup. i find out that we have a meeting at lunch about it -.-;; lunch was spent entiely in B1 figuring stuff out for premier's cup . we actually made the team! w00t! we were then told that making the team only meant that you were in team A and not team B - but everyone was gonna go anyway since nsg had pulled outta the comp. so everything was fixed. i was in a team, as was everyone else. we were about to leave when podmore gets a call from the nsg co-ordinator saying that they were still entering their team *kiz must be happy bout that* so then we had to scrap team B all together which is really slack. so now we have five people on team A + two yr 9 spectators. its really stupid cos now jono, weller and jack cant come T__T so now it has been confirmed that team A consists of: me, bibhu, adro, koziol and alastair . the debate is tomorrow and i am grateful that i'm not in the first round --- i can spend some time doing maths... but i won't be at school tomoz...w00t! we also had english off today cos we were gonna 'prep' for tomoz' debating. i really can't be bothered talking about it but the keywords include: edward davison, sexually connotated converstations, lack of preparation and laughter *when ed fell off his chair like 3 times -_-''* i must leave this blog now as i need to do maths and then do a little bit of debating research -_+ |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 01,August,2004 | Damn ye social sciences, why must thou taunt me so? I am so seriously hating history and geography right now. I've just finished my geo assignment and now have to complete a 2 page essay on women's role and attitude changes during and after WWII and it's actually worth something like 10 percent of something or other. AAARRGGGHHH!!! Plus and english speech. DOUBLE AAARRGGGHHH!!! Thanks Yi Long for helping me with the geo, you're the best. |
3,477,296 | male | 15 | Student | Virgo | 01,August,2004 | i'm feeling empty - i'm missing something. *sigh* i'm also feeling regretful for all those life changing mistakes. it's so hard to forget mistakes when they turn your life upside down. once again, i put forward the question, 'why can't we turn back time and correct our mistakes?' year 10 so far has been the most eventful year in terms of life changing mistakes. and i hate it so much... why can't everything stay the same ? i miss the happy times... on the outside we say that we've forgiven...yet deep down we know that it will never be the same... ok. enough of going all weird. celebration! 2000 ppl have visited our blog in less than a month! yipee! rite...i'll stop that now too... haven't done much since the last time i blogged. last night we booked a table at sushi suma at surry hills but when we left chatswood, the harbour bridge was bloody packed?!?!?! wat the...? so we ended up driving around for ages and eventually ended up at neutral bay and went to some jap restaurant called ponto-cho . it was really nice ^___^ i had this whole bowl of salmon roe...yum... it was ok price...i was so full afterwards...mm... *too much h/w for cskool* doesn't the teacher realise that no one will do it?! far out...kevin -- where were you eh?!? grr... |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 31,December,2003 | 'Don't look at me, that's misleading. If you want to know what I'm like, wait until we're in a tunnel, and then study my reflection in the window.' - from p. 108 of _Flaubert's Parrot_ by Julian Barnes Love is a butterfly left with one wing and that wing is on fire. We were never quite balanced. The Buddhist one hand clapping paradox made the butterfly flutter and fall on fire. Women fall at your feet and shit falls from you. Wading into the sea until your belly button, you get the disease to keep in secrets and breed lies. Oh, drown yourself. Truth is there in the abyss. Kiss me only when you've resurfaced. 'Hang yourself with a sugar rope and you’ll have a sweet death.' -Yiddish curse. -solsol |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 30,December,2003 | Finished Julian Barnes' _Flaubert's Parrot_: in an impressive style and asking the deepest questions: why life? why art? is there a difference. Flaubert is a step to enlightenment and the steps of his life mark the steps of questions that can never be answered. which parrot? there is no one parrot. but just that one... to be continued... |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 30,December,2003 | The music was so loud it sounded like noise. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 30,December,2003 | My brother is here watching me blog. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 30,December,2003 | How to use this? In yesterdays, they had paper and pen... |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 30,December,2003 | Everyone is screaming. What is this scream: I hear the ocean only from the shore. Where is the blood? A stain that can never be washed. This is not drama but life. urlLink Medusa's Notes |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 30,December,2003 | Thought things were going well. How many words can I put on a piece of paper? This is endless. Can I go on forever or do I just have one chance? |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 31,January,2004 | 98.8 F how can people say: 'you'll be fine.' no one knows what is ahead. but, i'll pray and wear God's sign on the inside, not as a tattoo. don't see mytic river (dir. by kevin costner) again. it irks me. wanted to say that a little goes a long way. love all, bless all. don't be mad Ms. Mischief. Love is in your heart. let it out. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 29,January,2004 | liberty a flock. beauty on the dock. the clocks from all cities. that's where your package goes. clean prose. clean toes. no one knows. i'd like to try flying once. somebody could show me how. being permanently manic, i'd be a good mechanic. but depressed, don't make me undress--in my clothes i dream of nakedness. a hundred people go this way, without smiles, their guilt showing through their clicking fingers, their eyes lingering on their velvet dresses, insipid memories, buying memories, treating their lives with soap. a husband arrives, a wife at the same time. children not yet arrived. she has yellow hair, he dyes his black. the trials begin, and their collection of LPs or ducks or whatevers...a city full of luck and candy from hard work. i want to be there. i want to do that. i want to be that person who doesn't shit, eat or sleep. i want to look perfect. made up from the morning, skin shining. don't eat, shit or sleep. i want to be useful, work like a nyorker, not eat, sleep or shit. and then, i want to love you. but that comes last, after i've lived a little. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 28,January,2004 | idea for a novel: my life ;) |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 26,January,2004 | finished Fitzgerald's _Tender is the Night_: Dick--Rhodes Scholar from Yale M.D. the beautiful Nicole and then amoral young Rosemary--oh Nicole did you pretend to be half sane? the most beautiful man inside...i see you ER standing still a stranger not thinking once of me...if i had Nicole's beauty, i'd have already given up on you... |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 26,January,2004 | cherry lips unless it's about shirley's vg count me in woops started to forget that guy can write this crap well sorry fella but you won't be called al and you do need some pimple cream for the rotten cherries in your brain mista: but if his sister's gay, then... and oh those women who sleep with men without feeling a thing... but, IDM, i know you...it's OK, i hold not grudges, as long as i'm not with you, i'm OK with you... |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 20,January,2004 | so back from NYC like a storm, i had my BCBG gray suit on, VW and LG were great...VW is my idol with her yellow sweater, vanilla silk kerchief and jeans (!) and editor guts starting off at 23. LG in her black slick pants and tight scarlet sweater turtleneck... i needed more of those light green wall colors... why do i sound so blase? read Maugham, he's a sex pot on legs and honey can he write...87 books my dear... sweetie and babe...but when IM took me then...ni&(*&*(&^ yes, i thought i'd die, but what's the difference lust love huh? i could tell, as dad found out...a PC program can!...what a bad way to treat a woman ;) and then ask her if she wanted him, oh, and did i mention forcing himself into the bathroom (no lock of course)? but, i like him, so i'll never hold my grudge. he's my darling...in that stuffed animal to sleep way. ok, here it goes, IDM was luscious in his own blue jacket way. i couldn't get enough walking--an eyeful of those organic boutiques and lights, excitement, action, victoria secret splashes, macy's to get a bloody phone out of the cold, gay irish men in their starbucks, fake jewish rich girl on the way there on train claimed to hobnob with paris hilton and on way back, i was hit on my some freak from platsburgh state yuck poor kid cheap hell anyway i needed to tell...honey, you love me, honey you love having me and that Erin girl she blew my mind with her flute techniques, nova scotia girl and all wreath on her door in the Bronx, something i can't live with out, husband divorced Portuguese wife, in Brazil for some research on some percussion instrument they play during capiera (sp?) and then almost forgot talked to dear NS: her dad...well his first wife killed hrself yes... so hard, and Deema's married before and all...what to say? IDM...first off, you're the picture of neurosis, Woody Allen style, second off, drink your V-8, third off, i love the feel of your keys and the milk in your fridge...honey you'd be magnificent if we were together...but can i live, can i live with you? not a question...oh, yeah, love that you know what... ;)btw finished The Corrections: everyone wants to be jewish and there's my lesbian Denise cooking me dinner...love you Philadelphia. i need to do something with this life. write properly. be like Maugham, dance a little, write back to friends, and scrub the tub. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 20,January,2004 | lovely retards mark my progress. i've crushed all the black tulips. they were the pink streaked ones. child-care painting left the paint to drip oh. i've detected a delirious smell in my insides like something out of a b-grade horror movie. stuffed peppers rot in the fridge. everyone's running on empty, shutting down the movie theatres, living on vodka and ice. saturday (lie), there was a big snowstorm like the kind that imitates Nietzsche on his death bed. i've forgotten everything ER said. he's so normal that i can't understand him. caprice by paganini. elephants tracking dirt in the hallway. attempts to eat lettuce all day failing. coffee degenerates and craving for a dark one. let me write it down. for G-d's sake. smoke. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 19,January,2004 | Honey, i'm so glad i can talk you, with your lime green slippers and pink ribbon round your ankle. Oh, you ballerina, you. I've walked my feet dry and shuffled along slush like you wouldn't believe. Everything about this city is confusing: there is not one grey skirt to be bought, not one off-white top to be seen. I'm going to buy all my clothes online and exercise to keep to one size. It beats wasting time in shop after shop. I'm starting to sound common. Well, i went to see AF and AP and saw PC and CV and SM. OF course, my dear ER is so right and good that i would live just to be with one like him. What did he say, let me remember.... |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 17,January,2004 | urlLink About Tracy Chevalier Why don't you paint me...? Get out of my house. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 15,January,2004 | Think of Tracy Chevalier jumping into writing like Anna Karenina in front of the train...the impulse is the creation...some people understand... i'd like to tell you: the girl with the pearl earring is a marvel and there is nothing like mixing lapis blue with the hand of vermeer next to you yours light from the window left the world in an image your face obscene i feel my face cracking painted once so angrily in offensive colors the shadows green the mouth distorted that's you he said and i had to wait until he had turned away to wash his hands so that i could absorb the image and not be frightened by myself. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 15,January,2004 | started Franzen's hit _The Corrections_ Jesus everyone has depression...and Chip breaking wine bottles one by one...divine...i don't want this to end, because the truth of the matter is...it's my life almost but it's in a book and that means it's safe... have you heard movin' out by Billy Joel...nice motorcycle purrrrr at the end... 'You should never argue with a crazy mimimimind....You oughta know by now...You can pay Uncle Sam with your overtime...' Oh yeah, read that intro. by Peter Washington to Italo Calvino's _If on a winter's night a traveler_ Divine...funny, better than a friend...but why can't i get past the first warm put up your feet chapter? love you Italo.... let me go to Zion and eat olives...do they have Magnolia trees there? i want to speak Hebrew with the lilt of Rachel ...yes she was the beautiful one../ okay, must read the red tent and the da vinci coe...and yadadadad see you later love, A.... |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 15,January,2004 | hair... i was at a funeral on Monday. someone cut a lock of the husband's hair and he put it in the open casket. he took the scissors and cut a lock of his wife's hair... luckily, i didn't see the body with so little hair left...all her amazingly beautiful perpetually curly black hair...she died of lung cancer. R.I.P. i've never taken an acid trip. i'm going to like people better...and their beautifully damned books. (p.s.: don't you know me?) IDM feels an impending sense of doom. had a dream that KB had left me out of the part. IDM and I at the border between US and Canada but in an airport tunnel: he kept kissing me. we were together. funny, what a friend... his sister packed her bags and left her husband (some Texan...with a gun...but that's not all.) praying she's safe. everyone's leaving losing lovers... should i go to Oundle and teach? 80 miles from the city... love your beautiful countryside babe... |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 14,January,2004 | finished reading Lahiri's _The Namesake_ (Houghton Mifflin): more Ivy League name-dropping and wealth and name of cheeses than actual substance--where's the dialogue? |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 13,January,2004 | laughing upwards, the world's cruel sage betrays me in august fall, a lion biting a cherry. everything possible, i've done to cure you, a cry, a cut, a flower in the dark, an orchid black, pink, blue. to tame you, i keep you in my dream, marry you to your sister living on the outside planet of jupiter. written Dec. 18 'The beginning is the beginning only at the end.' ~Schelling |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 13,January,2004 | MT showed me Florence's light and the Pantheon...and Berlin's miraculous synagogue, etc.. Will join her in Kyoto, apple blossoms in Spring? Her beautiful, consistent smile... last Thursday... Bella Rabinovitch's funeral yesterday...AP read Donne's Canonization: she had read this to him at their wedding two months before. He had his hair cut, and took some of hers... and put on her reading glasses... I didn't see her alive, so why see her in the open casket? Irish wake... She took Johnny Walker Red with her and woofed at the sailors. R.I.P.. The piano music was liquid: transparent...beautiful. The clay bells and Sister Cleevely. Should visit Marianopolis... AF hugged me. Again, R.I.P.. Zeida, I love you! |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 06,January,2004 | Finished Pelevin's _Buddha's Little Finger_ (Viking, 1999) on Jan. 9. Want to know about men in white hats... Writing the book 'American Fiction.' January 7, 2004 The man with a hat. Name for the novel: “American Psycho” or since it has been already taken “American Fiction” Just yesterday, I came across a ladybug, rusty winter colored pouring over the floor. I counted eight spots on its back and set it on a plant leaf to match the green. In a dream, the villagers spoke of water. Their faces were all scratched, as if a demon had handed them to the crow’s beak. Outside, the wind was fierce: the snow dusted along all the streets, fairy dust, blocking out the view of the town hall, a palace at night. The snow was light and hunger struck the meekest. A rising sun stroked the surface of the eyes of their leader, blue in the mirror, green in the forest. He was of pure mind and he catered to a ballet dancer. She danced for him, in her white shimmer, every night before dinner and even before breakfast, her muscles taut with hate. He would tie a green satin ribbon around her waist and a black choker around her neck. He liked to call her his Degas. There were sunny days that winter. Fireflies found a way of sighing at night in memory of summer. Birds rushed by windows, glinting like rainbows, tulip colored, intelligent. As he walked to the station, the investigation began. She paced the courtyard with Rachmaninov at her ears –one swan to each ear, killing it. In the park, they met like strangers. She pretended to recognize him. He read her his collection of atrocious poems and wandered into the bushes to pee. Liquid poured from him in bitter strokes. He did not love her, but he craved her touch. He was lying to her, lacing ribbons round her wrist. The sound of angels laughing and Robert Frost's devil made him tremble and trembling leads to laughing. You have killed me, she sighed. He denied and went on his way. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 06,January,2004 | And as she stood over the bed, lantern in hand, the stranger appeared. His eyes were green with red lines instead of pupils and he wore a bright blue satin tie with white starched shirt and no blazer. His pants were silver: as if they were made of the wrapping paper you get for a wedding anniversary gift. He did not speak for a what seemed like a few moments. Every moment creaked. The wonder of it all. She had cleaned up all her books, sorted out all her creams and bandaids, washed every dish, dried every tear, but now she knew why she hadn't done it earlier: didn't she need that emergency suitcase: oh G-d help me so that I may never need help from others. The dizziness was tremendous. Emergency suitcase. Her heart did palpitate. nothing: a friend betraying. Nothing: it did not matter, was all perception. Nothing mattered. It was so funny because the saddest things were funny. Love was a guttural disease. Love was measured in dollar bills. Love was a nonety. of all clouds: that was the New Haven cloud. dark, misty, brilliant, silver on the outside. delirious, she leapt on her bed, longing to break it. All the drink, all the glamour, the breathy voice, the shimmery lipstick, where was the pain if not hidden--raw raw raw the weather--the world was on edge, and the dance had just begun. She would keep on writing. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 02,January,2004 | oda al mar...a new flavor hurts my mouth yes kurt nilsen's voice and all the rest i can't/shouldn't live another day without creating it's terrible need to play more Debussy Claire de Lune finished reading Eire's Havana and Flaubert's Parrot (Barnes) but you hold my heart what can i do? what can i do? the conflation of fiction and life is my lifelong work. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 28,February,2004 | What day is it? What day is it? Sitting in my bed clothes on the floor, I feel cold. Who will listen when I do not? How could I respond? the birds are tired, living under an umbrella of fire. when the hail stones become jewelled, tears turn to blood. who owns language? who tells us it is wrong to write such and such a thing, that such and such a thing is in bad taste? i cannot decide. who writes badly is struck down by G-d. that is all i know. humans cannot see beauty more than truth. they lie before they can grow old, and grow old defying love. the mirror saves the desperate from forgetting their own place in ugliness and the reason they are laughed at. yet, the slug, the turtle and the monster share their face with the rose. if it makes me feel, if it makes me think--it is good--but how do they know if their feeling is pure and their thoughts true? no, bad words hurt them, bad taste makes them see their own. no, give me jewels to heap into my mind before i become blind with the hell of another's ugliness. i want the words to make my hair shine, my lips full and wide, my teeth white as i become the object of all poems. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 23,February,2004 | Chris called, so did Job, but anyway. i said I love you to G-d. tried to read Possession. what the hell was the question from the devil? so Ordinary People let the butterflies free find the bird inside the tree under love under love i walk to pump feel the muscle in my arm i move get the water out my feet have no shoes the dirt is gold i'm dying of the gold Medici's boy painted in money, died his skin suffucoting in gold--gold let the butterflies go free let the guitar have one more string on the tango floor the glass is invisible watch her in her red frills her lip is the color of love when it goes oh the rainbow fever the last call of the nightingale in the emperor's garden who are the birds that die in the mines? the canaries! |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 23,February,2004 | urlLink SALON Departments: Lit Chat: A.S. Byatt, page 2 'This just made me very angry, because it seemed to me that life was so varied and complex that it took up all your energy, and yours would never be the same as anybody else's description unless you were a bad writer. The only definition I give of how I know a novel is bad is: one, if it's derivative, totally derivative; and two, if the sentences are limp. I can't think of any other. The nice thing about a novel is that everything can go into it, because if you've got the skill between sentence and sentence, you can change genre, you can change focus, you can change the way the reader reads. And yet you can keep up this sort of quiet momentum of narration. It is a wonderful form, despite my getting angry with Lawrence. You can do anything.' A.S. Byatt |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 22,February,2004 | amazed by your passion the music in your language unforced and truthful fervent and beautiful sad but never lonely if i could love, i would love you. NS and you....of the rhythm of your face, i see only tiredness, even lives are shattered there must be energy a direction where are you going? when i saw you, i grew giddy, magic was in me, and my language trite as a rusty nail. i have no matter to present, no memory of friendship. i need a reason, a reason, a words fail my soul. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 21,February,2004 | if only i could eat chocolate, everything would be better. i have a disguise--my own skin. why must my mouth hurt so? no feeling in my tongue... ok, stop complaining. it's the loneliness i'm feeling. what if i just say that no one's worth being around--therefore, just forget about everybody...but that's not the case at all. but why don't i have more feeling for them, miss them more? it's because i feel inadequate? whatever... |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 18,February,2004 | no feeling on my tongue or pins and needles (aren't pins enough) since the extraction. have i lost my soul? |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 17,February,2004 | if i see his name again in my Inbox, i swear i'll hurl... scary, but the only reason i stick around now is that i might need a place to stay, and for the future, that i need a place to die. for G-d's sake, it hurts to have to deal with a magic man, it hurts to have to deal with these fucking forces, tarot and and all that hell...yeah, a deck has 'energy' in it...well, fuck, hell, i'd only have energy to drop it, my arm shaking with the fear of being fucking alone in a dark space: there is a place of fear...a place, a vision of it, some terrible space, it is always the same, some place where you are stuck--alone...Rue St. Jacques and everywhere else, alone alone. but, i will not be alone if i have a terrible passion.... a terrible passion by a.k. hell from the light of the limousine comes the red polished shoe. i have a love as great as a morgue, unidentified. tag on one lip, tag on the other. what did you find in me, a dying star? those don't die for ages, sing even after you are dead. why? why did you write and say: 'i love you' if you left the barren space for others, the red shoe on one foot, quivering, falling off to be kissed by a demon. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 16,February,2004 | the barren force before your name is breaking surf sand roughed hate mongrel fairy queen glass coffin nothing oh nothing. i vow to never reach you again, no, no, no and not to depend upon a cherry when it is not sweet nor the blossoms when they fall to brown with rot trampled underfoot hated looted and this i swear that i do not love thee no more than i love the hell below me for it is you that brings it for me to taste a bitter emptiness like a star molting shedding its light and hating love bitter and sad unconscious and free |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 16,February,2004 | of the little green hill, she could see nothing but pain. dark green was her moan and brittle. he took her hand in the dream, a dark prophet chanting from the cards of a sodomizer. aleister crowley. there has never been anyone so cold as him, yet so blazing. that is what i shall write about--the story of this relationship between the painter and her master. that is what i must write. yeats knew, maugham knew, the golden flower knew, did Jung know? |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 15,February,2004 | Finished _Everything is Illuminated_ by Safran Foer. Startingly beautiful. Is that all I can say? If I say more, i will cry. No. 'Love is carved from loss.' Heard his beautiful music--if i use my imagination, i can hear truth. Birds on a wire. Bridge over troubled waters. Love burning in water. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 15,February,2004 | February 15, 2004 crazynewmusic (11:10:59 PM): Arrgh, I missed you by like 10 minutes! I want to talk with you about this.... $($#%! crazynewmusic (11:13:08 PM): I'm very sorry I missed you yesterday as well crazynewmusic (11:13:13 PM): Sweet dreams crazynewmusic (11:13:15 PM): I love you. crazynewmusic (11:13:18 PM): bye Forever, you'll stay in my heart.... One thing is true--without truth, you can never have love. Answer my prayer.... (aretha...) No one understands, no one believes, is it so impossible to see? The hand rests on the arm, the thigh on the branch, wings on the eyelids, lips on the stone. If music could do this to do you, then what about love? Does anyone know where it went? Why do you question it so? Why is it deeper than anything I know? I will never move with it, nothing is done with it, i must scorn it, i must become the dust of a moan, must hide it in the whisper of a sunrise, on the dew drop of an oleander leaf poisonous to the touch. I must cut it from my prayers, sweep it out with the dust, rip it with the papers i can no longer keep. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 15,February,2004 | nothing but pain on the right side, proper ramblings and hatred. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 13,February,2004 | when i can play sick, blood drips from my corner lip, coaxing me to be still. how i wish i could be different, a butterfly to the meat, enjoying it. the sunrise, i have not seen in a year, and the sunset, neither, for lack of joy. weaker people walk the earth than I. i hope the sound I hear is the wind and not the devil creaping up these scarlet stairs. goodbye for now... |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 12,February,2004 | 'Say a Little Prayer' Aretha Franklin. Last of the wisdom teeth out! What happened to replying to e-mails? Forget about the one you'd wish to receive. Hah! Picture Donalla Duck on crack--you don't want that. Watching the OC, reading the orgies, worse than a popee. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 08,February,2004 | finished the girl with the pearl earring |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 07,February,2004 | if you told me your true name, you would make me fragile, smiling, the bird, dead, beside which you put your fresh yellow roses. see my bead of an eye, ebony, crying. see me lying to you as you wake me from a dream of your childhood. i will never have a baby bird fly to me. life, happiness beginning, the day full of possiblities. no happiness was. the hours between us, the years. remember the cheek to the earth, your lips smiling. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 02,February,2004 | last night, i had a baby in my dream. i held it to my chest, under my clothes, afraid it would fall even as i drew its impossible warmth to me. i cried because i thought it would die. i thought i did not know how to feed it, how to let it live. in one moment, without struggling, it showed me how unnecessary it was to be afraid. even though my body was shaking with tears, it took me in its mouth, gently, to drink my milk. then, i awoke. ['there, how can she sleep? how can she sleep when he wakes her? she will sleep forever or stay awake always.'] i wish i could have said: 'stay with me, baby.' for a few moments, it had loved me, stopped my tears, and no one had dared to laugh. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 02,February,2004 | revisit the Anenberg Collection at the Met., saw I Am My Own Wife. view of the Plaza and Tiffany's... this is what i wanted to say: blog this. stay away: this is called the letting go of bob strategy. white paper tears on the train. the orient express ran over me. a drop of mustard in the palm, the radio on. it is dark, it is light, it is frightening. letting go: letting go: letting go. come June, come June, but from now, from now on. somebody can be letting go... somebody can be letting go... no one will know. goodbye from now. goodbye. well, i like your voice and i love you and come june i will still mean it, but see, i've got my girl here and you're far and up there and not viable and all. baby in my dream, warm to my chest, afraid it would die, not drink my milk, baby in my dream. this is medusa--her notes and she is alone. to be alone: not a big deal. not a big deal at all. the people came to her and she couldn't stand it, but when she was alone she couldn't stand it either. she couldn't sing alone or together. either way, it's done, over. and it's nice to hear that you're doing well--the scene and all, and music and hell. and it's so nice to hear--but there, how can i sleep? how can i sleep when you wake me? i will sleep forever. goodbye--letting go of bob. goodbye bob. goodbye b-- |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 02,February,2004 | bought Brothers K. will this book change my life? the red tent, herzog, the castle...why three books at once? wonder what would be left if i had my own thoughts...just pity for her. i can't of him b/c i just can't. he doesn't belong in my life and if i try and put him there, i will be putting more hell in it. arriving at hotel 31 is lonely. give me music, make it less lonely. anything to distract me, anything to make me feel warm--but music brings nostalgia or pain or memories or tears and happy music makes me sad and nothing is left untouched. my back hurts. could it be that i have nothing left to say? |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 29,March,2004 | Eternal Sunshine spill over me balancing the candelabra a bear in a fig tree the dark length of your body dense like oak and gnarled from the bones of your thighs to your knuckles loose i dreamed of your kisses because my body aches from my heart unshed light weeds picked over long years of wishing make me walk [because i can't even hold my head up your hands in the candelabra of the woods i chose] |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 25,March,2004 | 'I should have thought he was asleep himself, if it hadn't been for the quivering of his fingers. His hand fluttered in mine like a captured bird.' -from André Gide's _The Counterfeiters_ (1925) p. 97, translated from the French by Dorothy Bussy. 'J'aurais cru qu'il dormait lui-même, sans le frémissement de ses doigts ; sa main palpitait comme un oiseau dans la mienne' (101). André Gide, _Les faux-monnayeurs_ and then: 'Psychological analysis lost all interest for me from the moment that I became aware that men feel what they imagine they feel. From that to thinking that they imagine they feel what they feel was a very short step...!' Mom met J.G.: said he'd love to speak with me--Mom have number, wow, will he ever call ;) yeah right. Would have loved to be a guy, friends with Jay, Jamie, Ryan, etc... Gigi is sooo cute (sala pages) i'm a snooper ;) Here: titration, walking, language learning: little steps and then what is perceived to be a leap!!! Yes, it is true, nature never leaps: See Gide's Counterfeiter's, p. 288: 'Gradation; gradation, and then a sudden leap... Natura non fecit saltus . What absurd rubbish! As for me, I am like the Arab in the desert who is dying of thirst. I am at the precise point, you see when a drop of water might still save him...or a tear...' I want to dance... |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 25,March,2004 | Chopin's Polonaise la flat major Opus 53: have to listen to it b/c it was in my head. that sweeping refrain...like a giant in my mind...it gives me something no one can. this music so divine. where is G-d? my room is in my head is a mess. listened to Ian's piece on Sunday...the first one: the middle part always makes me cry with its eerie softness and unresolved echoing despair...let me go, it says and then, with the confusing ending, so loud and unbearable, all faith dissolves--and the beauty of tenderness with it. |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 14,March,2004 | here we go: van morrison.... we get it almost every night when that moon gets big and bright it's supernatural delight everybody was dancing in the moonlight everybody here is outta sight they don't bark and fight they keep things loose they keep things alive everybody was dancing in the moonlight we like our fun and we never fight you can't dance and stay uptight it's supernatural delight everybody was dancing in the moonlight dancing in the moonlight everybody treat a woman right it's such a fine and natural sight... everybody dancing in the moonlight... |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 09,March,2004 | everybody's dancing in the moonlight sung by van morrison... they're never fighting...they're never uptight they keep things loose they keep things alive |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 09,March,2004 | urlLink birthright israel - The Livnot Experience - Your free birthright trip to Israel yeah--so i'm hopefully going to go, either May or June... and need to call for change of e-mail, catch up on friends, sign up for driving, call Chaya, write Chris, attend that lawyer meeting... also write Bloom, Prof. Lewis? Prof. Kutzinski, and Prof. Dimock... yesterday spoke to David Ernst from Livnot...great and today was the first Toastmaster's meeting: great people! i love you, can i show the love? be fair, be free, be true. make the horse run and it will be thirsty... b'h |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 07,March,2004 | lst night's purim party: little clown costumes and candies |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 03,March,2004 | urlLink Personal Development, Self Help & Improvement Courses by Uncommon Knowledge |
2,581,876 | female | 24 | indUnk | Sagittarius | 30,April,2004 | some more Medusa chat, 'The Tristan Chord' and i'm back in business baby. yeah... |
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