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3,765,420 | female | 16 | Education | Cancer | 12,August,2004 | darn! so sleepy today...duno why.. Hmm..today Charmaine'z class had to perform during assembly~ Fulamak... tht 'Tungku Abdul Rahman' was so semangat-fied~ erm...fizik was kinda boring lar... as usual...enter the lab...open the buku nota...and salin nota..aihz... Rashidah didnt come! thank god!! I did not do my Add mathz pembetulan... aihz... Kimia was boring..almost fell asleep there...it was so darn boring.. Having Ting as a tcher is so me-malang-fying! I couldnt even hear a single thing she sayz~ Shez juz luvz to mumble stuffz to herself...lyk a retard~ =P After kimia, we had BM!!! LISAN!!! Well, i tergagap-gagap lyk duno what there...felt lyk luffing,seeing jo lin'z face...akaka~ Surprisingly, we got 12/12!! Weird lar dei... After tht,we had Bio~! Woohooo~ Shie ming was so seriouz today....akaka~ Oh man...went home and had MAGGI MEE!!!! Then went for english tuition..kena bomb there for not doing the work... =P Well,i FORGOTTEN to do it...WHY?? I had TOOOO MANY IMPORTANT STUFFZ TO DO...wat eva lar...aihz.. Took Timmy(My dog) to the vet today(Klinik Thomas)...akaka~ it just refuses to go to the vet! It actually ran away...it ran across the road and i had to chase it.. It was almost knocked down by a car..and i almost knocked a passerby.. =P hmm...form2z these dayz luv to find lavaz for ppl.... =P urlLink Talk in my urlLink flooble chatterbox, a free javascript chat tag board / shoutbox / tagboard program for your xanga, diary, blogger or weblog urlLink forum avatar graphics |
3,765,420 | female | 16 | Education | Cancer | 08,August,2004 | woke up at 7.00am today...Physicz and chemistry tuition today....aihz..malang...Sunday is the only day for me to wake up late!! why?? why must tuition ruin avthing?? my lyf is so miserable... T.T wateva lar...im too bored so im crapping lyk mad here...ekeeke~ Went to Tesco to buy sum stuffz.. I bought Jay'z new album! wakaka~ Chuntedz!! Hmm..kesian jo lin...had to do the Wau all by herself... sobz(tumpang kesedihan)...im so mulia...wakaka *_* var chatterbox = 'no'; |
3,765,420 | female | 16 | Education | Cancer | 07,August,2004 | hohoho~ went to jo a.k.a jay lin'z hse today to do moral project...! Wau here wau there...pening kpl...had to translate the info bout wau into malay..so c2pid...me-mafan-kan sahaja! The lidi also so darn lembik...aihz.. wanna choose paper also so hard...aihz... =P After tht, went to Subhatra'z hse..her bday party..so grand~ akaka~ Then..me and seki saw sum1 unexpected there-mickey mse! Sesat-fied.. me phone no more credit d..sobz... fulamak...2day makan so darn banyak... had curry mee and maggi goreng and teh ais for lunch....then had icecream...then had 'ballz!!'..then had jelly...then had satay....fulamak...sure put on 100kg d...akaka~ var chatterbox = 'no'; |
3,765,420 | female | 16 | Education | Cancer | 06,August,2004 | hmm...seloka pak kaduk! fulamak..saya terasa ni...ekeke~ but at least i dont wear paperz..keke~ wat eva lar.. hmm...today alice belanja in Modern...fuishh...wanted to gasak all her $$$(she brought RM70)..but....we arent so kejam lar....ngekk ngekkk~ In tuition pulak Charmaine was busy singing 'Lydia' by F.I.R...akkaka~ chunted song ya noe! =P Curse 6 forever man..death to 'six'...akaka~ Okok..so far..here are my resultz..i noe i noe...my results are horrible ya noe...i can see tht...everyone can see tht too ya noe.. English-71 B3... Kimia- 48 E8 Fizik- 55 C6 Biology- 50 D7 Moral- 50 D7 Mathz- 58 C6 Add mathz- 6 G9!! I hate six!!! oh wat eva.,...i noe lar im VERY BAD in add mathz.. if (!chatterbox chatterbox != 'ok') { document.write('This urlLink flooble chatterbox is'); document.write(' temporarily unavailable. It will be back up shortly.'); } |
3,765,420 | female | 16 | Education | Cancer | 05,August,2004 | hmm..got back moral markz! phew..i PaSsEd with dull colourz.. hmm...i got so many Cs and Ds...die larh...aihz.. hmm...Timmy is so cute!!! Timmy rox!! By the way, Timmy is my dog!! It luvs to scratch my hand..hm..now my hand got kesan d....ekeke~ Went for english tuition.. wel..it turned out to be a class of corruption! muahaha~ ermm..the song 'broken' very very nice!! wooohooo~ hm...shoot! im supposed to do my moral project....aihz... adioz! var chatterbox = 'no'; if (!chatterbox chatterbox != 'ok') { document.write('This urlLink flooble chatterbox is'); document.write(' temporarily unavailable. It will be back up shortly.'); } |
3,765,420 | female | 16 | Education | Cancer | 04,August,2004 | woke up at 8.15am today.. didnt go to school coz i had fever...sobz..it was so darn boring at home... so i decided to kacau ppl! miss called jo lin..joo ann...rebecca...sian yee...akaka~ cant blame ler...i was too bored~ then smsed joo ann and rebecca...then played with my dog... aihzz..my mum dumped me at home...sobz...she pulak go to JJ...so nice.. in the afternoon...i did d poster for moral.. painted lyk shit...so ugly...maklumla...i CANT paint...aihz... went for tuition...cudnt do cuti-cuti msia again..no tym.... hmm..itz so obvious tht ill fail sejarah d..aihz...hmm...ntg to say lar... akaka |
3,765,420 | female | 16 | Education | Cancer | 03,August,2004 | got back bio,kimia and maths paper...!!! oh man....did so badly ...i almost fell asleep in the chemistry lab..too sleepy..and..as usual...jo lin will arrange those chairs...and she'll start sleeping... hm...went back and i slept lyk a pig today..WWE:RAW...so damn kejam.. Triple H actually hit William Regal with a sledgehammer...how mean...he was bleeding lyk mad...aihz..ntg much to say actually... im juz too sleepy today! =P var chatterbox = 'no'; |
3,765,420 | female | 16 | Education | Cancer | 02,August,2004 | sejarah..oh no...dead d...oh no... sh*t lar..tuition was so darn boring..so darn blur...coz didnt attend last week'z class...haba here haba there...so blur..at least i understood bout the muatan haba thinggy..ekeke~ cudnt do the cuti cuti msia today with charmaine.. aihz...boring ler... Today we had the breastfeeding ceramah..so interesting... but i BET It will be more interesting if sum1 demo..akaka var chatterbox = 'no'; |
3,765,420 | female | 16 | Education | Cancer | 01,August,2004 | woke up at 9.00 am...so sleepy... later going back to klang...ekeke~ aihz..tml getting back some paperz....dead... :'( flunk so many paperzzz....aihzzzz... Wen lynn grew taller than me d....aihz..im so malang... |
4,162,814 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 18,August,2004 | Ok. So i did not too bad for my CA...The first paper i got back was geography...i scored a 20/25...and adding on my class assesment, i got a total of 80/100..haha. A1. not bad.. English, i got 23/25 for the paper..which totals to 92/100. Its good. Class highest..muahahaha....A1 Math. I did bad for this one..i got 25/35....which is 71/100, a A2...haiz... Then came Science...A1!!! 31/40...muahaha...**cough** I havent got back my homec and chinese papers yet...haha, my current MSG is...1.25. GOOD. at least i'm better than daniel..hahaha |
4,162,814 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 12,August,2004 | Today is the last day of exams!! So happy!! after going through six tests, i am feeling soo relieved...english was good...so was geog..and chinese too..so was maths, science and homec..haha Today science teacher mr koh kept us in until 1245...he say we all too noisy...and 2B were also kept back coz they were screaming when the bell rang...haha I got her number!!! I got sams number!! tts sooo coool....haha smsed her a few times..heex..and i tink i know wads going on wif cher...but i wun say..l8er embarress her..haha.. And the integrated programme soo anxious to hear the results...oh man..i even sent an e-mail to the teacher in charge...my friend already got his..and i havent got mine yet..oh man...his nric start wif S9044...mines S9022...i dunno whether they start calling from behind or wad...haiz..to stress, even after the exams..haiz... |
4,162,814 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 10,August,2004 | Haha, i chatted with her!! Finally!! It was a nice chat..just so nice. Haiz..haha, she turned on her webcam to let me see her, they both look soo nice..haha. Then Sam tried to run away, and Cher was stopping her..haha, looks just like a typical girl fight..then cher gave up and just returned to the com..and sam ran away like the flash..haha. A while later cher went out to get sam back in..then sam sat down and still avoided the camera..haha..sooo funny.. In the evening i chatted to both of them..first it was cher..and she was like 'oh ok'-ing most of wad i said..haiz..then cher went off and sam came on..haha..was talking about the camera thing..then she was like 'nooo'...haha.. Then the both of them came on and here i am now..but i not chatting wif them la..i got geog ca2 tomorrow i better study haha. |
4,162,814 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 09,August,2004 | the day was like any other day...just that today is singapore's 39th birthday!!! at about 4:45pm we went to fetch my cousins...and then we went to national stadium to participate in the national day parade!!! we had to queue up at the entrance because of security reasons..and also because every person had to go through a metal detector...my mum went through, nothing happened..my cousins went through, nothing happened..but when i went through....beep..i had to step aside and get a body search..haiz..then when they used the hand-held metal detector, waved it in front of my you-know-what, it beeped...then the police asked what it was..then i said it was my zipper...oh man..how dumb could the police get?? the fireworls were very very nice..i loved it..i even kept some confetti in my pockets as a momento...haha..then there was a tribute to the prime minister...coz this will be the last national day parade he would be coming to as a prime minister...hahaha.. i miss both of them..let this song be a dedication to little foot and ducky... |
4,162,814 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 08,August,2004 | i'm soooo sad..shes still ignoring me..never mind. i will not try again...i will just slowly ease out of her contact list....:( both C***** and S******* have been nice knowing..:( :( :( :( :( |
4,162,814 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 07,August,2004 | yes! shes finally online...but shes ignoring me..dunno why..maybe shes sad..haha shes always hungry. hm..i dunno wad to say..and its like she dun like me anymore..shes not talking. and i got nothing to humour her..better get more lame jokes..haah.. eatin pasta tonight!! i cooked a little..helping my mum do up the sauce..haha she say the sauce is not up to standard tonight...sho sads..haha. not my fault... uh oh...still thinking whether i should carry on tis relationship with her or not...shes soooo cute, and i still dunno whether shes my friend or not..i've chatted wif her..shared jokes..haha so funnn...nvm...i'll try talking to her again... |
4,162,814 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 07,August,2004 | urlLink the eye watches urlLink |
4,162,814 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 07,August,2004 | just bought bon jovi-bounce from hmv at heeren..before that i was eatin out at marche wif my parents..eat until sooo full like a pig...haha. tomorrow is national day!! woot! haiz cant wait to go...oh man..spent too many hours trying to crack the da vince codes...so difficult, caesars box dun seem to work for me. maybe its cos i'm doing it wrong...dunno la..try again tomorrow. got to finish my muggings for the ca...and the results from vjc hasnt come out yet...really hope i get in..then i can start a new life..life at vs is just too messed up... muahahaha...my napfa test so fun...i did a 56cm for the sit n reach then my friends were like...'huh!!??? you do so far!!??' haha...quite shocking..then shuttle run 9.9...jumping was 242..sit-ups i do soooo little only 37...and the 2.4 run i haven take yet cos of nationals.....probably going to run with all the fat guys and trash them like crazy..haha.. she's finally online...havent chatted wif her for days...haha so happy..:)) |
4,162,814 | male | 14 | Student | Cancer | 07,August,2004 | Harlo...its a sat..and no choice but to stay home and study..exams in a few days...National day coming too!!! i going with my cousin....it'll be sooo fun...haha..nvm..i think this is enough for a start..gtg study again..:P....and she hasnt been online yet...dunno where she is. maybe training? |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink Printer Friendly Version - Rev. Al, career coach When this show has a casting call, I will defenitely be one of the first to apply. If selected, not only can I land my dream job, but maybe I can parlay it into a lucrative deal. That being said, I need to start preparing today... |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink ESPN.com - Tyson says he's serious about comeback Tyson - part 2. The 'truth' of Mr. Tyson's story. Yet it is still inspirational. |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink Yahoo! News - Carter, Mourners Bury Beloved Young Poet This is an incredible story that portrays the true potential of anyone who realizes, understands and accepts their true purpose. Money and fame should never be our main objective or goal. Rather, a sence of purpose and fullfillment should be our aim. The money and the fame will come as a result of our efforts, but if it doesn't, oh well, at least we can make a difference in this world. |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink ESPN.com - 'I ain't the same person I was' After reading this article, I've concluded that wisdom, by far, outweighs talent or wealth. Because without wisdom, one cannot effectively manage talent or wealth. To be honest with you, it's kind of sad that Mike Tyson has ended up the way he has... |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink Frequently Asked Questions Yet another page to refer to when I get home |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink Yahoo! News - Rising U.S. Homeownership Brings Woes - Study I'm glad that last night my wife and I decided to not be apart of the statistics that this article discusses. Me, being a bottomline type of guy and my wife, wise and understanding, decided to hold off on your plans to purchase a home. Even though we were approved for a mortgage loan, we both felt uncomfortable with making such a commitment at this time. We therefore decided to give ourselves a six month time-frame to increase our income and savings and also eliminate some of our debts. Though foregoing homeownership at this time may cause us to lose out on current low interest rates, I would rather be able to comfortably afford my home and maintain my lifestyle, than to be house poor and risk foreclosure. I guess what was wonderful about the situation is that my wife and I both had similar sentiments. We didn't want to make any rash decisions that would've risked our future. During our conversation, we both confirmed that we were committed to striving to improve our lifestyle. That's the main reason my wife has decided to return to school and major in nursing. She stated, sure I could get a job in retail or as a secretary or whatever, but I want to contribute to our household in a substantial way. After hearing that, I told my wife, I am committing myself to take my liscensure examination this summer, which would make me certified in my profession. Ultimately, being certified could translate to a $10000 - $20000 increase in salary. That is my short term goal, which would instantly put us into a totally different realm of possibilities. Well until next time, please take time out daily to just think. Thinking just might be the single most important act that could make the difference between your success or your failure. |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | Opportunity, is it always present or is it once in a blue moon? When is it best to go after opportunity and when is it not? These are questions that I'm currently asking myself. I believe I'm a natural born opportunist rooted in wisdom and realism. The question that I'm asking is, can it be wrong to pass on opportunity when you feel and believe it may not be the right time? Actually, opportunity from what I've gathered is when luck and preparation meet. I feel somewhat lucky that I was approved for a home loan for the price range that I wanted. However, I just don't think I have everything in order. For example, I need to increase my monthly income and reduce my current debt to feel comfortable enough to commit myself to a mortgage payment. Then if I say no, I don't want to disappoint my family. So what should I do? Well opportunity should put you on the path of progression rather than regression. The path that you choose to walk down will determine whether or not you'll pursue certain opportunities. I am not a pessimist, but I'm just cautious and I like to operate within reality. Reality dictates that if I commit to this mortgage, there really won't be any wiggle room or margin for error. Also, we have a baby on the way and that in itself is going to increase our monthly expenditures. I guess to summarize, my response is the same that I give when people ask me how did I know my wife was the one? When you know, you just know. The fact that you have doubts or unanswered questions, should be the red flags. There's no philosophical explanation, no magic formula or anything. When that opportunity is for you, a sense of confidence and peace enshrouds you. The bottom line is that it's okay to say no to some opportunities, especially if it is not time or it was not intended for you. |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | There is so much going on right now in our lives and it seems like everyone is looking to us (my family) for answers. My response is, WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU WANT FROM US??? How dare you try to fit me into your box, just because you might take pills if you're depressed, just because you've done it a certain way all of your life, just because your house looks a certain way, doesn't give you any authority, what so ever to judge me and my house. You see, the Bible implores us to not judge others. It also points out, how can we talk about the speck in our brother's eye, when we have a plank in ours. That reminds me of when Clinton was president and the republicans just brow beat him, because of his personal misdeeds. However, here we are several years later and we are witnessing what the republicans have been doing in the dark. For example, Connecticut's republican governor is currently on the verge of impeachment for corruption charges, then there's the representative I believe from one of the Dakotas or one of those Northern states, who was recently convicted of killing someone while driving drunk. Then Mr. Rush Limbaugh (the grand puba himself) a self-admitted drug addict, is on the verge of divorcing his wife after 10 years. Finally, our beloved Mr. Bush can take full credit for attempting to resolve his personal vendetta against Saddam Hussein, at the expense of our military(Can you say, 'Mob Boss' - Godfather Bush). Furthermore, they stated that Clinton lied under oath, but what do you call a President that starts a war based on nothing else but hearsay, fallacy and false pretense. I call it 'The fleecing of America.' I've come to the conclusion, that it is just flat out easier to point out the faults of others, rather than fess up and take responsibility for our own shortcomings. I don't want to end this posting on a negative note, so the bottom line is as follows: Strength is characterized by dealing with reality. No matter how difficult that may be, it's the hand that we've been dealt. One of my favorite cliches is 'it's not a matter of what you have, but it's what you do with what you have that's important.' So for everyone out there, who desires to be my personal Jesus Christ, get off your cross, 'cause I need the wood. |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | I haven't blogged in a week, because it has been a difficult week. However, I hope that writing today will help in clearing my mind and bring clarity to my thoughts. Earlier this week my step daughter became ill while visiting her birth father. So my wife and I dropped what we were doing on last Sunday and picked her up. She had been gone for a week, which is the longest she has ever been away from us. It was such a delight to have her back home. I really didn't realize how much energy and vitality she brings to our lives and home. She was having problems with her mouth, I believe it is called thrush or something like that. Anyway, she had stopped eating and was crying because her mouth was in pain. Also, I believe her wisdom teeth are beginning to grow in. Anyway, when she got home we gave her a bath and made her brush her teeth. We also fed her without a problem and we made her drink water. She claimed that she had only brushed her teeth once while at her dad's. Also, she stated that she had eaten a lot of candy. Since it was the weekend, we couldn't take her to the doctor until Monday. My wife has class every morning from 7:30 to 9:30, so I took off from work to stay with my daughter. When my wife returned home we took our daughter to the doctor. After that we came back home and ate. Then, that afternoon my wife had an appointment with a pre-natal specialist. So we went to the appointment where we found out that we're having a baby boy. However, the doctor noticed a cloudy looking area in the baby's brain, which appears that the baby may have down sysdrome. The news wasn't devastating, but my wife and I were concerned. Our reaction was more of uncertainty and numbness. We really didn't know what to say or how to react. I guess the fact that we've experienced so much in recent times, that nothing really devastates us anymore. It's kind of like, 'well here we go again.' I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but that's how we responded. The doctor was going to do a test on the baby to determine if the baby has down syndrome or not, but we opted to not do anything at that time, because with the test, there is a risk for miscarriage. However, as we were leaving the hospital, we decided that we would drop by my wife's doctor's office to see if her last blood test revealed anything indicating down syndrome. The doctor was not in and her nurse stated that she could not speak concerning the blood test, but the doctor would have to talk to us about it. So we scheduled a test for next week. Also, that evening we took our daughter back over to her dad's house for the remainder of her summer visitation. Well my wife continues to go to school, but it appears that it is really taking it's toll on her body. She goes to bed late doing homework, then she wakes up early to go to class. She is barely eating, and when she does she throws up. I'm very concerned about her health, to the point that I told her that she really needs to consider dropping school for now and perhaps after the pregnancy she can resume it. However, stubborn as usual, she is still determined to complete it. I think the main reason she continues to go is that she is getting financial aid to go to school, and she's afraid that if she drops her class that that will negatively impact her financial aid. But I told her that if we have to pay it back, then we'll just pay it back. Furthermore, I'd rather pay back a couple of $100, than to risk losing you. It has bothered me so much, that I've practically stopped eating. I really don't eat, but once a day. I worry all day about her, because I trully believe that she is doing too much at this time. On Wednesday night, we had a good meal and we were enjoying the evening together, when my wife started feeling nautious. She started vomiting, but while vomiting she strained too hard and burst a blood vessel in her esauphagus. We didn't know the severity of it at that time, but she did start vomiting blood. So we went to the ER and we were there for 3 hours without seeing a doctor, it was after midnight and my wife was still concerned about her homework and going to school later on that morning. So we decided to leave the hospital without seeing the doctor. We got up yesterday morning, my wife went off to school and I went to work. I got a call around 11am that morning from my mom, indicating that my wife called her, stating that when she came home from school, she started vomiting and blood was once again coming up. I called my wife immediately, and she was driving herself to the hospital. I asked why didn't she call me and she stated that she knew that if she had called me I would become alarmed and take off from work to see about her. She scared that I might get fired, because I take off alot. But as far as I'm concerned a job is just a means to an end. Therefore, I can always get multiple or subsequent streams of income, but I can't replace my family. I didn't get alarmed, but I told her that since it was almost lunch time, I would take an early lunch and meet her at the hospital, which is only 10 to 15 minutes away from my job. However, my wife had also contacted her best friend and her cousin and they were on their way to the hospital also. So I decided to just go see about her during my lunch break and then I would return to work. Well I got to the hospital and I didn't see our car in the ER parking lot. So I began to panic and suspect that my wife didn't make it to the hospital. I finally get inside into the ER and I didn't see my wife, so I asked the nurse and she guided me to where my wife was. I gave my wife a big hug when I saw her. She was crying because she was in pain and I guess perhaps she was feeling a little guilty because we didn't stay at the hospital yesterday. Well anyway, they got her into a room and her best friend arrived, so I literally had to drag myself back to work. Well this morning she's feeling better, they gave her medicine and told her that she needed to rest. We went to bed early last night, but we both woke up early, thinking that my wife had to go to school today, but she doesn't have classes on Friday. We ate breakfast and here I am right now writing. Also, another issue that has occurred this week, is that we were approved for a home loan with 100% financing at a decent interest rate. However, I think we are unsure if assuming the responsibility of owning a house is something that we can do right now. I am not one to pass up on opportunity, but there is so much going on in our lives right now, that looking for a house and preparing for that process, seems just a little bit overwhelming and ominous right now. So I'm not sure what we're going to do. We want a house, because our family is expanding, but whenever I think about it, all I can think about is the expense associated with it. At the moment, I have no clue what to do. I haven't followed through like I should with the mortgage guy and to be honest with you I haven't even been excited about it, all I'm thinking is I don't know if this is the best thing to do right now or not. We're not even sure how long we want to live in our state. I guess if I had to sum it all up, it has been a difficult and complex week, but we're still here and we made it through. I'm different than I was a week ago, I guess one reason is that my birthday was this week, but that was kind of overshadowed by the events of the week. I'm really looking for a break through, whether it is a higher paying job, my own business or what. My optimism is probably at an all time high, but I really don't know where the breakthrough is going to come from or what I need to do to attract the breakthrough. Anyway, no matter what happens, it sure did feel good to get all of that off my chest. Well, I hope you have a fantastic day and a wonderful weekend. |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | I read an article earlier this week I believe, regarding the American Idol contestants who did not win the competition. It went into detail about what some of them have done since the show. It was quite interesting to hear that some have gone on to sign record deals and others acting pursuits. Also, we may as well consider those who did not win on The Apprentice and America's next top model. Most of us may refer to them as the losers, because they failed to win the competition. However, there is an interesting underlying theme that I would like to discuss concerning this year's batch of 'losers.' In my book, a loser is one who fails to try. Unfortunately, most people don't look at it that way. Have you ever heard of the expression 'winning is everything,' well that may not necessarily be the case if you consider the life of an opportunist. I'll go as far as to say, you can even suck and still end up succeeding. For instance, I believe his name is William Huong, I guess it's spelled that way, I don't know. Anyway, he wasn't a finalist, yet ended up signing a record deal, appearing at big time musical events and if I'm not mistaken the article that I read indicated that as of that date, he had sold 38,000 albums. In the music business that's a pathetic sales showing, but let's put it in context. You have a guy who flat out can't sing, signs a record deal, sells 38,000 albums and we'll assume that the average CD goes for $12, which results in gross sales of $456,000. Not bad, not bad at all for a so called 'loser,' or wait, is he an opportunist? Opportunist, I love that word, is defined as 'one who takes advantage of any opportunity to achieve an end, often with no regard for principles or consequences.' Moreover, opportunity, is defined as 'a chance for progress or advancement.' Therefore, if we combine the two definitions, then we can define an opportunist as being someone who takes a chance for progress or advancement to achieve an end, often with no regard for principle or consequences.' I'm sure Mr. Huong doesn't mind the consequences of ridicule or embarrassment that he has faced since making his way to the limelight, because what's really funny is the fact that he's probably laughing all the way to the bank. |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | Today is a pretty average and mundane day. These are usually the best days for me, because I 'zone out' and start daydreaming. (Just a little sidenote), it's amazing how when I daydream, it's almost as if I'm not physically present where I am and then it takes an outside distraction to bring me back to where I am. Some people may think that's weird, but I see it as an awesome way to escape the daily pressures of life, rather than doing something that may be harmful to me or someone else. Also, what I've found to be the most beneficial is how I've been able to generate ideas, accomplish feats that I didn't know that I could and also, at times, live out my dreams. However, something that I've learned recently that may end up being a quantum leap for my life is writing down my thoughts or dreams. Being able to come back to a previous thought and refer back to it at a later time, perhaps after acquiring more knowledge and skill can be a very powerful combination. That's really my whole point for establishing my blog. I've come to the conclusion that if no one ever reads my blogs, but me, that's okay, because in doing this I'm benefiting in several ways. Firstly, I'm establishing a habit in doing something that I enjoy, which is writing. Secondly, I'm developing content that can be utilized later for something that maybe marketable. Thirdly, I'm overcoming my apprehension of putting information out there for others. I guess I've always felt that no one would really be interested in what I have to say anyway. It's kind of ironic that I think that, because I love giving public speaking engagements and I love songwriting. I guess I take writing and sharing my knowledge and experience as being something that is very personal or almost even sacred. But what I've found, is that is what most people like about me. My ability to express thoughts or experiences in such a way that they themselves feel like they're experiencing or thinking it. One thing that I strive to do with my life, is to do whatever I do with my heart and if I'm unable to do that then I quit and move on. |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | Woke up this morning about 6:00am, because my wife just started going back to school as of yesterday and she has a 7:30am class. Man, I can remember those days. I think the 8:00am classes I had back in the day, I was absent more than I was there (I Hate Mornings). Anyways, my wife is pregnant with our second child and today was the day that the morning sickness decided to make our day an interesting one. I followed her to school, because I wanted to make sure she got to class okay. We arrived at the school and I walked her to her class. She sat for a moment then we stepped out into the hallway, because she started coughing uncontrollably. This whole time, I knew she was also feeling nauseous, but I was encouraging her to try to keep her food down. Well she went to the restroom and came back out, but nothing happened yet. So we started to walk back to the classroom where she vomited right in front of the doorway. These dudes who were standing nearby, started laughing and ran off. If my wife wasn't feeling so sick, I probably would have hauled off and hit one of them. The point is, the whole experience made me seriously think about how insensitive we can be at times . I realized that those guys were young, immature and juvenile college students. But what concerns me, is if I wasn't there, would someone have helped my wife or not? (Sometimes our own insecurities prevent us from making significant impact on this world or just in our sphere of influence). However, the real lesson that I learned came from my wife. After the incident, I said 'Baby, lets just go home and you can get some rest.' But, she said no I got to do this , I got to go to class. She wasn't embarrassed, ashamed or nothing. Rather she was focused, determined and dedicated. As I drove back home, I thought to myself, I wonder if those knucklehead boys or the others who just looked and passed on by would have half the courage and grit that my wife had. When I spoke to her later on this morning, I told her that I admired her and I also knew that she would be successful this semester. Bottomline , so many people are out there ' keeping up appearances ,' becoming so consumed about what others say or think about them that they miss out on considering what matters most. That is what do you think and say about yourself . As far as my wife is concerned, she told herself no matter what I'm confronted with, I'm going back to school and I will succeed. |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink CASRO - Council of American Survey Research Organizations professional association for researh and survey organizations. Check out the membership directory. |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink onlinesweepstakes.com: The Leading Sweepstakes Site on the Net This is an excellent resource to get into the online sweepstakes business. |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink Complete GUIDE to Making Money Taking Online Paid Surveys! This may be the information that I've been searching for. Online paid surveys. I can do that to earn extra cash, can't I? |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink Herald.com | 07/26/2004 | NFL star Williams heeds heart, not wishes of crowd Yeah for Ricky Williams. You've now left the rat race and entered onto the fasttrack. I've listened and read about this story all day. People are criticizing him and everything else. But I applaud him for realizing that in his case, football was a mean to an end, rather than an end in itself. I really think it's wrong for people to judge him the way they have. He's just like the rest of us, only with celebrity status. He got tired of his job and realized it was time for him to move on. There are those that say, but he's only played for 5 years. Well I retired for the first time after only working for 5 years too. At that point in my life I realized I had been living my life to satisfy everyone else, but myself. Unfortunately, after a year and a half, I had to go back to work, because my finances were running low. However, none of my friends didn't have 1.5 year vacation like I did. They were still grinding away at jobs they didn't neccessarily enjoy. So I don't blame the guy for retiring. I wish him well. To be honest with you, people really don't learn to live until they start living according to their own desires. Good luck Ricky, and one day I hope I to rejoin you and thousands of others, who've decided they've had enough and took an early... |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink Resume Writing Tips for Marketing Transferable Skills Did a search on transferrable job skills and found this website which I think may be a good starting point in getting to the next level in my effort to gaining more meaningful employment |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink MSN Careers - Labor of Love: The Best Place to Work? - Career Advice Article Do what you love and the money will come... |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink CNN.com - Officials discuss how to delay Election Day - Jul 11, 2004 I thought that this would be a nice little article to hold on to, just in case something suspect happens around election day. Perhaps history just may repeat itself at that time in more that one way. Can you say, election 2000 and 9/11 or should I say fahrenheit 9/11. We shall see, I hope and pray for our sake that nothing happens. We have enough going on right now, but if it does, we may just have to refer back to this article... |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink Free work at home business course! Excellent informational site regarding starting a business. |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink Welcome to eHow.com How things get done Website for seeking out how to solutions. I'm always doing searches for 'how-to', hopefully this will be a good starting place. |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink Sounds Factory proteus sysex sound banks |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink Samplifier Sample editor to try out for sample dump |
3,525,620 | male | 33 | Non-Profit | Gemini | 03,June,2004 | urlLink Emulator III - Mac Software Yet, another link to a webpage that I hope will be helpful in my quest to connect my digital sampler to my mac. |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | urlLink A mi niña A mi niña que ya no esta A mi niña que no dejo de extrañar A mi nena que se fue sin titubear Solo te digo mi Ani que conservo intacto tu recuerdo mientras mi amor por ti sigue creciendo. A mi niña le pido que me guarde a su lado un rinconcito alla en el cielo, para que cuando nos voolvamos a ver estemos juntos y esta vez para siempre. Nena vives en nuestro corazon por siempre. Tu familia que tanto te quiere urlLink |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | urlLink Somewhere in my dreams tonight, I'll see you standing there. You look at me with a smile 'Life isn't always fair'. You say you were chosen for his garden, His precious hand picked bouquet, 'God really needed me, That's why I couldn't stay'. It's said to be that angels are sent from above, I've always had my angel...my Friend..Who's heart was filled with love. Wherever the ocean meets the sky, there will be memories of you and I, When I look up at the sky, All I see are visions of you. While there's a heart in me, you'll be a part of me. |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | urlLink You meant so much to all of us, You were special and that's no lie. You brightened up the darkest day and the cloudiest sky. Many tears I have seen and cried, They have all poured out like rain. I know that you're happy now And no longer in any pain. Something so hard ges stright to the soul, It seems impossible to get over and my heart is left with a big hole. I'm trying to be happy, wearing a smile; but I'm dying inside. The world seems to be fading and I just want to run and hide. Everywhere I go I see your face, and realize how much I miss you; and on the day you died, a piece of me died too. |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | urlLink In the mist of the night... urlLink |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | Come, fly now. Make life a new. I'm gonna wait for the time when the future returns this blue star. I watched the waters surface where the light swayed as I floated in your sea. Listening carefully to the voice I hear, I entrusted my body to the movements of the waves. Gentle times pass by slowly, without anything such as loneliness or emptiness. I feel the sky, coming closer and closer...I can't tell if it's real, or an illusion. The me you left behind lives on. I'm just beginning to realize I can't stay here. The voice that calls me out of your sea spreads out with a dizzy feeling, becoming light. Embracing the shards of my heart, broken by sorrow, with both hands, I was afraid of tomorrow. If everything can come true with prayer, take me back to before I'm born. For how long will I go on, breaking someone's heart and despising my degenerating self? The pain called 'loneliness' makes my chest tighten Tears overflow... I want to open the box of memory right now and erase the painful past For eternity. Since the moment I became aware of this power moving in me, I wander around, searching for the emotions I lost. Give me the strength to pierce through this era in which people hurt each other. In the sky I'm looking up at, the unfurling blue is waiting for me... Guiding me... Someday these hands surely will turn into wings, taking me to the sky of hope. Don't fake the smile you gave to others. Sincerely letting your tears flow is also courage. Those sad days will soon turn into fossils, and your pain will be secretly led to the forest of sleep. Good night, all of you overly enthusiastic stray children, until the day your impatience evolves into a dream. Life is waiting for the dazzling morning. Even if final confession isn't granted Someday the darkness of this era will break into dawn. Life is awakening, weaving time itself. As if to return to your proof and so, the light tells your heart. You stand for a long time on the shore of tears. As if to gently conceal your feelings, the secret medicine Transports them to the open sea of memories. Let your fingers and ears, dirtied by morality, sleep within my arms. Please come back to me, following memories, to the source of gentleness and dreams, In order to be born, and shine to the stars Once again... I'm getting used to the loneliness, ever since I was born. In order to forget, I always had one encounter after another...They did me a favor by making me aware of such pain...Those warm tears... Another conclusion. Another beginning. Is the death of the people nothing more than the birth of new life? Will the wishes of the people decay in heartbroken prostration?Will the hopes of the people lead to a desolate future? Will the dreams of the people lead to a past repeating itself? My dissolving heart destroys me. |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | Kimi wa itsumo kagayaiteita, Egao hitotsu chiisana hoshi taisetsu ni shiteta yo. Ano hi watashi wa mamorenakute Kuyashi namida koraeta dake imami ga nokoru yo... NaKaNaIdE KuRe! Watashi no Koe yoto doke, Ima doku iru no Watashi wa yatto ki zuita nosa Tarinai Kakera ni Fui ni naru pittchi ga futari no kiyori wo hikaru yo Tomodachi dato dato ii hito dato WAI KIRENAKUTE!! YUME NO NAKA>>.. |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | urlLink I come and stand at every door. But no one hears my silent tread. I knock and yet reamin unseen. For I I am dead; I'm seven how as I was then, when children die they do not grow. My hair was scorched by swirling flame. My eyes grew dim, my eyes grew blind. Death came and turned my bones to dust. And that was scattered by the wind. I ask for nothing for myself, All that I ask is that for peace... urlLink |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | ...Naked and alone we came into exile. In her dark womb, we did not Know our mother's face; from the prison of her flesh have we come into the unspeakable and incommunicable prison of this earth. Which of us has known his brother? Which of us has looked into his father's heart? Which of us has not remained forever prison-pent? Which of us is not forever a stranger and alone? urlLink urlLink |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | No te alegres de masiado de todos modos no cedas alegrate cuando puedas y si la euforia te avisa no desperdicies la risa no te alegres demasiado no te burles de las flores no escapes de los amores con gozo profesional mira que nada es igual / si el sueño se vuelve triste olvida hasta lo que existe no te alegres demasiado mira que el mundo es farsante se mofa del exultante y sufre con el dichoso / el abismo es contagioso / si te llaman del pasado no te alegres demasiado. |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | Where thou has always been, at the center of thine own being, in the heart of all mysteries. I have traveled far and accumulated much in the way of lore; I mark the cycles of earth and heaven in my brow; my gaze penetrates the firmament and I have discerned the threefold way of superal. Supernal, that word denotes that which is beyond the Abyss, the chasm across which one cannot be carried by reason nor intellection, for the minds of men are dark and dense, admitting no subtleties. The supernal is beyond knowing directly through any of the Realms Visible or Invisible, but is reflected in them all, as it is the source of them all. |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | Another day passed by, and I'm still here; I have to recognize that my dreams came back thanks to you. When I cried out for help, you noticed me and brought me back from the Abyss I was falling through... Now I have my faith in you--- Eira |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | 風さらう みなもへと たゆとうて 導かれる まにまに 浮かぶしらべ 響きわたれ 永久（とわ）に ゆらぎゆらぎ ふるえて 果てない天（そら）へ 時を越え 行き交いて かそけき 浮き世へ 今つどへ人間（とも）よ 大地へ 忘れし 唄を歌い 失いし 思いを持て 再びまみえるまで 深く深く 眠れ 時は流れゆく |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | Cada vez que miro al pasado me pregunto por que?!y empiezo a dudar del yo del presente, el que aparentemente ustedes conocen. No se que va a pasar, solo se que por ahora me aferro al dolor mintiendome a mi misma, creyendo en una ilusion que dejo de existir. El mundo exterior se desvance a cada instante y huyo a la oscuridad. The pain I submerged deep in my heart screamed and was revived. For all that is precious, I won't turn away from pain any more. The town sinks into blue darkness and a sigh that entraps the wind knocks on the sleepless window. Alone, I wander around in the deep maze. A faint hope, withered flowers... The swirling flames drive me mad. A dark moon engulfs me. I can't sense anything as it tears my body to shreds and takes me away, deep into the waves. Shards of glass, sinking into your cold stare. Far away, I hear it: a sign of daybreak. Then, in the darkness I see the ruins. The place deep in your heart where tears are born is where the answer sleeps:To keep its eternal beauty, the tragedy happens night after night. ...At the end of the tunnel is a dazzling world. Thanks Y.R. - M.C. |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | urlLink Embracing Darkness, I recognize the blinding light from the Horizon, fulfill with all your lies...I'm beyond defeat, anger, sadness, I'm in a world beyond your imagination...I walk among the dead, you wouldn't understand...I have to hurt you, I have to make you bleed and no matter what I say I always will...You've shown me the true pain, and the pleasure of self mutilation...In the shadows of my being, in the depths of my soul is where you'll see. You have to understand that everything we have built so far is nothing but a lie, You're a lie and a stranger to me. urlLink |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | I understand now...I guess I did all this time, From today until ever, you're just that one who walks by my side, wanting me or not. Although it has been a year since then, I couldn't feel it until today. You look at me through the mirror, watch me bleeding upon the altar of my life and all you could do is stare at my eyes and walk through hell with me. All I want to know is if this is only but a dream... Are we real?... The smell of the blood is too intense, I'm lying there...Wanting to dream again...I open my eyes and I see you standing right by my side, You say nothing, only watch me bleeding...But that's all you were doing, right? You're just another illusion of my mind...Although I'll never let go |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | urlLink Sitting here thinking about you, I here you call my name. As I turn to see who's calling me, I see no one, only hear your voice. I glance across the room, to see if anyone else hears it too. But no one seems to notice the look on my face. I miss you so much, I keep telling you... But you'll never be completely gone, because every time i close my eyes, there you'll be. Even though it hurts to hear your name, and speak of you; One thing I will always say is You Were always there....You don't know what you've done for me, But I tell you now, you answered my plea. It's time to let you go...Bye |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | urlLink We see in part, and thus is the mirror of prophecy darkened. There are other worlds, and other demons. These waters are deep. Watch for the doorways; Watch for the roses and the unfound dorrways urlLink |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | You come from an Ancient Civilization. Egypt, China, Rome... a piece of all the greatest civilizations of their time can be found in you. urlLink Where Did Your Soul Originate? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | You told me I was not alone You told me you were with me... But now I can't even tell if I recognize you're shadow, It was you're choice and now you also belong to the past, to that past I want to let go. The days past by, and the old me just disappeared...I've become someone's reflection. You are the one that can save me but I guess you're to busy with yourself, I can't blame you, I knew it was going to be like this. Every day I wonder if you're ok, every day I live on knowing that you don't need me, not at all. I guess I'm just like a whisper that passes but you don't really feel it; I can't live like this, caring about you're life but not been a part of it, The last tear I already let go, and the last prayer I already said. I never thought I would care about someone like this...You two gave me wings and ripped them away. Now you're gone, and left me in the shadows where no light can reach me, I guess it's better this away, you can go on..Living your life without another problem...Me. I will return to the place I belong, back to the waters of my origin...I wont sleep for I will be the thousand winds that blow, the diamonds giant on snow, the sunlight on ripened grain, the gentle autumn's rain...Back to the beginning. No one will be forgotten even though I have left all your heart's, I will forever have the memories that will never keep us apart. Lost in my mind, surrounded, Looking for an arrow to follow, Left with nowhere to go, to fall. The game is over, I have lost I drop and cry out in defeat. The loneliness has destroyed my life, Id change it all in a heartbeat. Kick me down more so than I am, It's not like I know the difference, Im just waiting for my life to end And my funeral to commence. I havent got anything to prove So it might as well end now fast, End it so I have no future So Im just a memory of the past. Please don't do this, You are all I have left. No matter how much I beg you my heart is broken ,I am alone, I am ruined; Alone I pray for something better than this I beg you god if you exist, I fear for my life, No more pain my soul is a mass of scars now, I am a thin surface being ripped open, I can't contain it like I used to I have nothing left. |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | urlLink What Is Your Animal Personality? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | You're The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe ! by C.S. Lewis You were just looking for some decent clothes when everything changed quite dramatically. For the better or for the worse, it is still hard to tell. Now it seems like winter will never end and you feel cursed. Soon there will be an epic struggle between two forces in your life and you are very concerned about a betrayal that could turn the balance. If this makes it sound like you're re-enacting Christian theological events, that may or may not be coincidence. When in doubt, put your trust in zoo animals. Take the urlLink Book Quiz at the urlLink Blue Pyramid . |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | 'But the demons of the past, were demons of fire and abomination...they were enemies we could fight-enemeies who inspired fear. Yet Satan is shrewd. As time passed, he cast off his diabolical countenance for a new face...the face of pure reason. Transparent and insidious, but soulless all the same' 'Doubt is your last shred of control. It is doubt that brings souls to you. Our need to know that life has a meaning. Man's insecurity and nedd for an enlightened soul assuring him everything is part of a master plan. But the chusch is not the only enlightened soul on the planet! We all seek God in different ways. What are you afraid of? That God will show himself somewhere other than inside these walls? That people will find him in their own lives and leave your antiquated rituals behind? Religions evolve! The mind finds answers, the heart grapples with new truths.(...) God is not some omnipotent authority looking down from above, threatening to throw us into a pit of fire if we disobey. God is the energy that flows through the synapses of our nervous system and the chambers of our hearts!' 'ANGELS & DEMONS' Dan Brown |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | urlLink I have always lived with the awareness of the impossibility of living. And what has made existence endurable to me is my curiosity as to how I would get from one minute, one day, one year to the next. E.M.C. |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | My heart is hurting beyond words The pain is tearing up my soul These days have seen my spirit die My life propelled out of control My wounds lie naked to the world My depth of suffering exposed This damaged past can never heal Until this nightmare book is closed. My heart is hurting beyond words The pain is tearing my soul Please tell me how can I retrieve The life that all this sadness stole Because of you this happened Because you had to carry put your vengeful little plans. |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | Remember, I will still be here, As long as you hold me, in your memory Remember, when your dreams have ended, Time can be transcended, Just remember me I am the one star that keeps burning, so brightly, It is the last light, to fade into the rising sun I'm with you, Whenever you tell, My story, For I am all I've done I am that one voice, in the cold wind, That whispers, And if you listen, you'll hear me call across the sky As long as, I still can reach out, and touch you, Then I will never die Remember, I'll never leave you, If you will only, Remember me Remember me, Remember... me... |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | urlLink Ningen to iu no wa hitori dake dewa ikiteikenay mono desu |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | It begins very small Seems like nothing much at all Just a germ, just a speck, just a grain But the seed has been sown And before you know it's grown It has spread through your life like a stain And its power will strangle your love and your joy And its hunger consumes for it lives to destroy Hate is a star; it becomes who you are Not the hated, but the hater has a torment that's greater It will eat you alive, consume you and spit you out Hate's gonna win that there's no doubt about Hate doesn't care who you are- Hate is the Star! Learning hate is an art, even people who are smart can be caught, can be crushed, can be creamed Hate has swallowed you whole Did you think you're in control Hate you though, hate you spoke, hate you dreamed All your hate gave me substance your lives are undone It's your eve of destruction, your hatred has won! How could it come to pass? This awful twist of fate How could I hurt you This madness can't be so I can't believe it I never dreamed that any barriers could rise Or that I'd ever see the stranger in your eyes Our hearts were hurting both the same The hurt was tearing up our souls The fury in us made us blind We could not see beyond the pain Ares---> |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | I know, I know I've let you down I've been a fool to myself I thought that I could live for no one else But now through all the hurt and pain It's time for me to respect; the ones you love mean more than anything So with sadness in my heart I feel the best thing I could do is end it all and leave forever what's done is done it feels so bad what once was happy now is sad I wish that I could turn back time cause now the guilt is all mine can't live without the trust from those you love I know we can't forget the past you can't forget love and pride because of that, it's killing me inside It all returns to nothing, it all comes tumbling down It all returns to nothing, I just keep letting me down, In my heart of hearts I know I've lost everything; everything that matters to me, matters in this world. |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | Now it's time, I fear to tell I've been holding it back so long But something strange deep inside of me is happening I feel unlike I've ever felt And it's makin' me scared That I may not be what I think I am What of us, what do I say Are we both from a different world Cos every breath that I take, I breathe it for you And I'm so afraid. There's nothing to comfort us What am I, if I can't be yours I don't sleep, don't feel a thing And my senses have all but gone Can't even cry from the pain, can't shed a tear now I realise We're not the same So I must, let us break free I can never be what you need If there was a way, through the hurt Then I would find it I'd take the blows. But this is the one. Impossible dream to live What am I, if I can't be yours. |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | Both sides of isolation and freedom Halt and hide in my heart Eyes close as the sky depends on the Strength and weakness of a single god while the breast of the knife shines True feelings show through the mask I put on my head Absolutely the difference seems Absolutely this night by myself only within myself More and more at a distance More and more I'm the only one who goes to the end of the sky to escape Anxiousness and wishes mix to oppose my destiny The angels and devils individually whisper inside my head Without compromise today and also tomorrow can make a difference Absolutely the difference seems Absolutely not only are the soul and eternity the same More and more its sweltering Absolutely this night by myself only within myself *Arigato Ken |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | A ngels and demons were circling above me Breaking the hardships and starry ways The only one who doesn't know the happinessis the one who couldn't understand his call. I am Calling Calling now, Spirits rise and falling To stay myself longer... Calling, in the depth of longing To stay myself longer... Stand alone... Where was life when it had a meaning... Stand alone... Nothing's real anymore and... ...Endless run... Calling Calling, For the place of knowing There's more that what can be linked Calling, Never will I look away For what life has left for me Yearning Yearning, for what's left of loving S Megami sama... |
3,627,104 | female | 16 | Student | Taurus | 12,August,2004 | urlLink ...NOTHING is what it seems |
3,911,396 | male | 16 | Internet | Gemini | 18,July,2004 | Well, it's sometime in the wee hours of the morn and I'm beat. I just got back from the Eighteen Visions, Midtown, and Lostprophets concert and I am sore. I have a fracken shoe print on my shirt! All the dudes from the bands were cool, they signed some stuff and talked to us. I even met some scene sluts, ooh don't like scene sluts. Crazy show, a lot of moshing, and yes I did get killed, I think I have a broken rib. Finger Eleven is sometime soon and got to recoup in time for that one. I'm going to pass out....later. |
3,911,396 | male | 16 | Internet | Gemini | 16,July,2004 | |
3,911,396 | male | 16 | Internet | Gemini | 15,July,2004 | Well folks, it's almost that time of the month. July 17th, 2004 at 8:00 PM, Lostprophets are playing at Tremont. I suggest everyone should go, unless I don't like you. But I won't see you anyway so come if you want, make them money. They are playing with Midtown and Eighteen Visions, bah, eh. That's what you get for $15.00. I recently shelled out $50.00 on an Usher ticket, this guy better juggle fire or something. urlLink Click Here to Watch 'Burn Burn' by Lostprophets |
3,911,396 | male | 16 | Internet | Gemini | 14,July,2004 | |
3,911,396 | male | 16 | Internet | Gemini | 13,July,2004 | Some say a picture is worth a thousand words, I say a picture is worth a thousand laughs. Honestly, can someone be so stupid to post pictures in hopes of meeting 'internet girls', knowing your enemies have access to them? Let the flaming homosexuality begin.... I rest my case....Steve is a douche. |
3,911,396 | male | 16 | Internet | Gemini | 12,July,2004 | I have determined that IMDb are racist. They gave Soul Plane a 2 out of 10. Watch a bunch of douche bags. Let's kill them all, they didn't even feature any memorable quotes. Come on Lil' Jon was in the movie, that should at least get it a 3 out of 10. All right, just kidding, it was funny, but it sucked. I got my schedule today...looks like I may have to work the first semester, but second 180 minutes straight of computers.. AP Calc AB 45 - Hoffman Spanish 3 45 - Simpson Networking 1 - James Chemistry - Godfrey English III Honors - Reeves AP Calc AB 45 - Hoffman Spanish 3 45 - Simpson US History - Jones Network Engineering 2 - James E. Commerce I - Miller Leave a comment or IM me if we have any classes together. Time to watch The Girl Next Door ...The DVD-Screeners have just been rolling in the last couple days. |
3,911,396 | male | 16 | Internet | Gemini | 12,July,2004 | So I was sitting around thinking, 'Let's switch blogs'. So I did. Actually, Xanga just sucks ass. You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair. Ahh Anchorman , to simply put it, one of the best movies this summer. And I'm bored, that didn't take very long at all. Before I depart, I leave you with something so hilarious you will piss your pants twice. urlLink |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 22,June,2004 | If you're a female who worked for urlLink Wal-Mart between 1996 and 2001, urlLink you can sue the uber-retailer . Here's what the Boys from Bentonville urlLink had to say about the deal. What do you have to say? OOOPS...don't sue about the boys from Bentonville thing... |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 20,June,2004 | It's a well-established personal rule that I only inhabit dance clubs if (a) I get in free. (b) I get to stand and drink beer in a VIP area and (c) there's a kick-ass DJ. In other words, I don't club-hop often. But last night I had a connection to a hot show at the Avalon in Hollywood, where the rapidly-developing-a-cult-following urlLink D.J. Wolfie was spinning. But the highlight of the evening was urlLink The Mutaytor , a percussion-stunt-dance ensemble that puts on a high-energy performance art-techno show. Think Blue Man Group meets Cirque du Soleil. Anyway, they have a bunch of shows coming up on the West Coast and I highly recommend them if you're in the area. The Wolfie/Mutaytor bill sold out the 1,200-capacity Avalon, and 300 people were turned away. So if you didn't have a VIP pass, it was a typical stand-all-night-in-line Hollywood evening. I felt a little special...;) Oh, and I met one the girls from Survivor, but I've never seen Survivor so the brush with celebrity was completely lost on me until my date told me it was the girl from Survivor. Whew. |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 19,June,2004 | so this man who writes this blog thinks american soldiers are heroes? when they come home in a box and their mommies and daddies cry and and they have a big funeral their president doesn't attend? i won't be throwing out that image of paul johnson. the severed head will burn in my head as a symbol of the consequences of wanton murder and thievery, as it should for every american. i came to the united states in 1998, to study religious studies on full scholarship at ucla. i spoke not a word of english, and the americans looked down at me like i was their pet dog, running for a stupid stick in the park. if you don't understand what song the stupid girl on american idol sings, they hate you. after 9/11 i was persecuted for the color of my skin. they didn't like brown folks. i was held by homeland security when my phone records were traced to iraq. they did full body cavity search. and you americans think pain is rinsing your mouth too long with the listerine. you heard it right. i was born in iraq. my parents still live there. they'd love to join in this blog, but they've never used a computer. i only lived in iraq until i was nine. then i went to live with an uncle in england. one brother came with me, two other brothers stayed in iraq. they were killed by u.s. troops in this past year's fighting. but i had not spoken to either of them in 17 years so it wasn't a crushing thing. i did not stay in bed for 6 months and cry like a little baby and make people feel sorry for me like americans do when someone dies. i only tracked my parents again in 1999. i talk to them about monthly. my father owned a store before the occupation. now he has nothing. was that so bad, blaine? you were so afraid of a few empty threats...like americans who hide in their basements when they here the 2000 bug will destroy them. i knew you would soil yourself at the mere thought of iraqi redemption. but i am benevolent, not the opposite. i live in los angeles and i lead a simple life, selling computer hardware. if blaine allows, and you all want, i will tell more. |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 18,June,2004 | So I got an e-mail regarding my first urlLink post. And I must admit, I was quite disturbed. I never though this blogging thing would make my palms sweat and conjure thoughts of calling my parents to outline my funeral wishes ('H' by Tool during interment, for the record.) I know, I know. I'm anonymous. There's nothing to be afraid of. Unless he secretly works for blogspot. This goofball did, however, ask to write a guest blog. Now, this proposal wedged me betweeen my desire to be heard and my desire to ignore frightening people who 'hope (I) lock up tight and get police protection, cuz (he) knows (I'm) in the L.A. area and (he) will find (me) if (he) has to knock on 5 million doors.' Not a comfortable place. But I gave in to the warm-and-fuzzies that accompanied the first time I saw 'guest blog' and 'Blaine's' in the same sentence. I want this to be an open forum for the excahange of ideas, even if the first return salvo is some wacko fantasizing about all the ways he'd like to 'skin (me) while I sleep, then toss (my) bones in with (his) morning broth'. Faris ('not like the lazy infidel bueller' he stresses) will make his Blaine's Hospitable Habitat debut some time in the next day or two. I apologize in advance. I encourage you all to ramp up the discourse here so that Blaine's may be home to less malevolent voices in the future. |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 18,June,2004 | urlLink Don't try it in Italy. By the way, has anyone ever done this? I'd love to hear a story, especially if you've gone as far as to download scanned test answers. I mean, couldn't you just as easily open a book? |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 18,June,2004 | I just got one for work, but I'd like to talk to somebody cool on it. |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 18,June,2004 | Check out a urlLink spot-on column by one of our least-recognized sportswriters. |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 18,June,2004 | The Cubs have been the one constant in my short life. From '83 on, from Buckner to Moreland to Moyer to Goose to Schiraldi to Wrona to Harkey to Scott to Treblehorn to Foster to Morandini to Gaetti to Brant to King to Stairs to Hundley, I've seen it all. Yeah, the ugly ones stick the most. But I've been to about 100 games at Wrigley. urlLink Here's hoping my kids will get to go to a few as well. |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 18,June,2004 | Wow, I wish I'd had my girlfriend, two high school buddies, and support from my parents when I moved out here. urlLink This blog kicks my blog's ass. No Making It in Hollywood Stories here. Sorry. I'm already discouraged. |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 18,June,2004 | Get ready for a week of Paul Johnson still shots, superimposed by waving-in-slow-motion video of Old Glory. On some stations, they'll probably play God Bless America or The Star-Spangled Banner for effect. In Dub-Ya's home state, they might play 'Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American).' A vaporous war has a new object of affection. The masses will now be told to rally behind the headless body of Paul Johnson, images of which were downloaded today across corporate America like Paris Hilton tape stills. I won't go the way of the heartless Reagan bashers and decry Paul Johnson's life's work. I have too much respect for a human being and his grieving family. But he worked for Lockheed-Martin, a central cog in the military-industrial complex that spurred America's push into Iraq, which spurred today's events. Decide for yourself whether Paul Johnson was an American hero. Don't let the faux-grievous news anchors make your mind up for you. But before you choose to place this man on a pedestal and shake your fist toward the Middle East in his name, ask yourself: was Ken Ballard a hero? Bumrok Lee? Todd Bolding? Cody Calavan? Bradli Coleman? Daniel Eggers? Aaron Elandt? Benjamin Gonzalez? Joseph Jeffries? Markus Johnson? Robert Mogensen? Dominique Nicolas? Charles Odums II? Brian Ouellette? Robert Scheetz Jr? Dustin Sides? Michael Wiesemann? Nicholaus Zimmer? Rafael Reynosa? If you don't recognize any of these names, check out the June 6, 2004 obituaries in the Los Angeles Times . I'll tell you two things up front: none of these men were older than 28. And none of these men earned serving their country what Paul Johnson collected working for Lockheed-Martin. I'm still waiting for their pictures on CNN, with nice digitally-rendered yellow ribbons tied around them. |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 21,July,2004 | So I socialized today. And yesterday. I got a couple e-mails inviting me to interesting little grad student and young professional things—a foreign film screening and a networking event—so I got in my car and I drove there, like millions of people in L.A. do when a friend calls and tells them, hey, dude there’s a neat screening of this really twisted Russian film, or hey, co-worker I have an occasional beer with after work, guess what, I heard about this get-together among people who work their ass off 40-50 hours a week at the same type of job we have and let’s go commiserate and talk about how much we hate our bosses and the petulance of the well-to-do American executive and hey, we might even make a good friend. Imagine that. A good friend. A new friend. I get to the foreign film screening and no one is in the theater. Great, I think. Drove up here for nothing. Wasted all this gas. So glad I decided to socialize. Then I walk outside and see the grad students, playing a sun-splashed game of croquet on the University quad. They’re all tan and sweaty and red-faced on this dry-hot day, because dry-hot is the only way they can get hot and sweaty playing croquet. They’re also chasing each other around, playing flirtatious games with the croquet mallot. My good friend in the Dodger hat slides the nub in the performance artist girl’s butt-cleavage. Hysterical laughter ensues, and the faces get redder and everyone’s having a great time and let’s reach in the big red cooler and get another beer and isn’t it gosh-darn lovely to be 25 and still have care-free summers? And who the hell is this guy in the chinos and discount Kohl’s dress shirt? “Dude, aren’t you hot?” offers my Dodger fan friend, barely recognizable, having grown a pillowy tuft of hair since I last saw him three months ago. I grin sheepishly, nodding at the crooked wickets. “Looks like something you do in the summer.” Nobody gets my ironic attempt at humor. Yeah, dipshit, they all think, it does look like something you do in the summer. That’s why we’re doing it. Go back to your cubicle. The foreign film is indulgent, like the moderator said it would be, and afterward everyone pairs off into the summer romances that have blossomed, and everyone asks me when I’m graduating. Like they can’t wait to get rid of me. Like they never had me. But then, how could they have ever had me? I sit behind a desk all day. I was lucky to make it to this screening on time at 7 p.m. They run in the park and wallow in the shade of California green tall spiky trees and feed each other grapes and wine and Miller Lite. They enjoy life. And I can’t be their friends. Not unless they’ll carry a Blackberry around and check it regularly for the latest off-color e-mail forward, anyway. So I socialized and had a crappy time and felt like a dad showing up early to pick his 13-year-old son from a testosterone-drenched sleep-over, one with Playboys and Ultimate Fighting and Hustlers and Bench Press Contests and Barely Legals. I was a stuffed-shirt spoiler. Maybe I needed to hang out with my element: work-a-holic twenty-somethings. So the next evening I get in my good-times-mobile and head north again. I feel like a mouse in a maze trying to park in the cramped little beach town, but I finally slide into a curbside without red markings. On the way to the meeting place, I break a twenty at a dive bar and pound a Red Stripe, at once an attempt to avoid awkwardness in a group pay-for-the-check situation and an attempt to get a little buzz going before meeting a bunch of strangers. But from the moment I shake Heidi’s hand, I know letting beer slip through my lips was akin to chugging a 40-ouncer before a basketball game. Networking is an endurance event, a discipline worth mastering. Drinking will throw you from your game. Heidi would know. “I’ve been networking and networking and networking,” Heidi says. “You have to do it so hard-core. And here in L.A? Please. It’s all about who you know. It’s never merit. And believe me, I have merit. Hello? Berkeley grad. Hello? Held a mid-management slot in San Francisco. And these people are trying to look at me for entry-level work? Are they kidding me?” Nobody else is any different, except a lovely undersized couple from a head-hunting firm literally trying to sell me. Everyone gripes about their current job and about how their tenacious networking has yet to pay off. My networking has yet to advance beyond hooking my DSL line up to the hub, so I guess I’m in trouble. I wanted to have a few laughs, pick up some job leads, maybe, find a way out of my current hell-in-a-cubicle. All I got was a sales pitch and a twenty-minute sermon on forging connections and collecting as many business cards as you can from a girl who apparently didn’t deem me worthy, because she left without requesting a business card. And then there was the girl I remembered from the last networking event I went to a year ago, who didn’t remember me and seemed freaked out when I greeted her by name. Then she politely told me to take a hike, “Go talk to Larry and Davida….they can help you find a better job.” In other words, go walk into a sales pitch. You’re scaring me. So after two days of flaunting my formidable social graces, it’s time for a consolation prize: a 40 of Mickey’s. I pull into the Liquor store near home. It’s an easy summer night and the tall, lean Armenian attendant I know too well stands outside. Must be slow in there. I feel a little uneasy walking past him, making him go back to work, becoming the only man in an empty temple of booze. But soon I have company. “Hey-ah, Dood, whasssup?” It’s a stumbling drunk in a blue hockey jersey. He’s heading for the same cooler I am. I grab my Mickey’s, expecting to hear a “Good call, dude,” but instead: “Ah, it’s Sarmuch, boy. Sarmush, how ya doin’? Back here now, huh?” Sarmuch the Armenian attendant nods politely, then walks towards the register to check me out. “They usually got you over on 4th and Ximeno now, huh?” hockey guy bellows, loud enough to crack a mini-bottle. I don’t care how Sarmuch responds. I am in the liquor store, joining a man, who so frequents the local liquor stores he notices when folks shift from site to site, in buying a 40-ouncer. Maybe he’s my kind of guy. |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 20,July,2004 | Like Joe Pesci mulling over his mom’s Red Riding Hood painting, I’m taking a long look like at the world and putting my own spin on things. Is this an original thing to do? Hardly. But I can’t help but look around. Granted, my view is considerably impeded by my cubicle. So I’m really doing a lot of introspection. Which is what I believe what Pesci was doing in that very underrated scene. Why am I such a hard guy to get along with? Why does my roommate and best friend piss me off when he leaves cans and dirty plates out, when my room looks like a landfill the week after Christmas? Why have I only cared about five women in the last four years? Why have I met all of them on the Internet? Why have none of the five women I’ve slept with in the last four years been any of the ones I’ve cared about? Why did I meet all of them on the Internet? Am I losing touch with reality? Do I care about my job too much? Then why do I feel like showering every evening when I cease my soulless desk-jockeying? Do I care about writing too much? Then why haven’t I ever spent an entire eight hour day working on a piece? Ever! And I’m borderline professional, people! Been published in newspapers and magazines and shit! Whatever. I’m done. Faris still wants to say something, but I gotta get a few posts up first. Hey, it’s my goddamn blog. |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 02,July,2004 | urlLink This looks bad-ass. And those crazies from urlLink Mutaytor will be there in all their glory, without fire marshalls doing things like making sure the building doesn't burn down. There won't be a roof, a roof, so nothing will be on fire, kids. Only the sticks the folks on stage are twirling and swallowing. Unfortunately, BLaiNe has to work. Happy urlLink Blow-Shit-Off Day to me. Reports are welcome. I need guest commentary...don't want to run one of the insipid columns I got from Faris. He claimed to have channeled Sadaam this afternoon. |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 02,July,2004 | I can't believe David Chase, a frickin' genius, doesn't have a picture on IMDB. |
3,572,471 | male | 25 | Communications-Media | Pisces | 02,July,2004 | urlLink House Arrest , urlLink Season 2 episode 11 Tony's job stress, absurdly juxtaposed with the 'pressures' faced by everyday schlubs in the garbage business, leads to another panic attack. Junior is getting old and crusty, and the choices he made early in life are making his twilight a little more excruciating. Dr. Melfi is losing control of her life and losing her son. Tony drives her literally to drink, but she feels an intense need to understand this marvelously conflicted man who is suffering inside. Kind of like how we chase dreams and obsessions and loves and fascinations even when they may not be in our best interests. We just do. And as a cherry on top, a cameo by urlLink Terry Winter , the resident bad-ass writer who isn't named urlLink David Chase . |
3,176,411 | male | 33 | Engineering | Aries | 12,May,2004 | The problem was with a mismatch between the installed kernel and the identifier in the config file in the source tree. After recompiling a new kernel, rebooting, and rebuilding lirc, everything worked great. After this I had problems getting mythtv to recognize the remote. I got the following errors: mythtv: could not connect to socket mythtv: No such file or directory Failed to create lirc socket for mythtv After a long and hard search I found that the culprit was that there were still some lirc files from the mandrake install left over. These are not mentioned on the mythtv website. Make sure to remove the liblirc_client0(.0) files from /usr/lib and recompile mythtv. Next I copied the lircrc file to the right directory cp configfiles/hauppauge-lircrc-nativelirc ~/.mythtv/lircrc and added the urlLink mplayer commands to this file. |
3,176,411 | male | 33 | Engineering | Aries | 11,May,2004 | Try copying the /boot/config file to /usr/src/linux/.config and then rebuild lirc. |
3,176,411 | male | 33 | Engineering | Aries | 10,May,2004 | If mythfilldatabase grabbed a channel which you do not want to include in your TV listings, you can remove the entries from the xmltv config file and the MySQL database. This often happens with premium channels; for example, HBO or Showtime may be available on your cable TV system, but is scrambled because you're not a subscriber to that channel. Since you can never watch it, you want to get rid of it. First, comment out the channel from the /.mythtv/ .xmltv file by inserting the word 'not ' (including the space) in front of the unwanted entry. This will prevent xmltv from grabbing future listings. Next, delete the unwanted item from the channel table so that it will not appear in the EPG or when changing channels. To delete the data from the database we need to perform some steps. First, assuming that HBO is channel 15, we need to find out the internal chanid used by MySQL: $ mysql -u root mythconverg mysql> select chanid from channel where channum=15; +--------+ | chanid | +--------+ | 1015 | +--------+ 1 row in set (0.00 sec) mysql> delete from channel where chanid = 1015; Old program data will be removed over the course of a week. However, you may want to immediately delete any current program listings for the channel that has been removed: $ mysql -u root mythconverg mysql> delete from program where chanid = 1015; |
3,176,411 | male | 33 | Engineering | Aries | 10,May,2004 | urlLink mythtv utilities |
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