Datasets:

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mbkim

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AdvisorQA

like 1

[ "How to care about something about which do you do not care So, anyone out there know any tricks for making yourself care about something? In my specific situation, I am referring to mathematics; pre-calculus to be precise. Despite knowing logically that I need this course both for its own cr", "How to care about something about which do you do not care So, anyone out there know any tricks for making yourself care about something? In my specific situation, I am referring to mathematics; pre-calculus to be precise. Despite knowing logically that I need this course both for its own cr", "How to care about something about which do you do not care So, anyone out there know any tricks for making yourself care about something? In my specific situation, I am referring to mathematics; pre-calculus to be precise. Despite knowing logically that I need this course both for its own cr", "How to care about something about which do you do not care So, anyone out there know any tricks for making yourself care about something? In my specific situation, I am referring to mathematics; pre-calculus to be precise. Despite knowing logically that I need this course both for its own cr" ]

[ "Just do what we all do... struggle through it and hate every minute of it until the semester is over, you've passed, and no longer have to deal with it. It's a right of passage reserved for us \"educated.\"", "What about this, don't care about it. Caring involves feelings. Feelings are bullshit sometimes. So what you do is look over the material for at least 20 minutes a day for the rest of the semester then move on with your life. It is a necessary evil for a small part of your journey, don't make it any bigger than what it is.", "You can’t force yourself to care. But the easiest way to make yourself do it is to get a study partner. Same as lifting... if someone else depends on you to be there, there’s much more chance you’ll force yourself to do it. \n\nGet a study buddy, schedule time together, don’t let him/her down.", "I'm no guru, but my best advice would be to look at pre calculus as a piece of a whole, a cog in the machine that you're building yourself up to be as you age. It's not really about the pre-calculus itself, but it's about training your mind to continually challenge yourself and become smarter, faster, more efficient--whatever you want to become--at learning. Teach yourself to learn the hard things and when you face even harder problems later, they'll be that much easier to learn." ]

[ 8, 4, 3, 1 ]

[ "How to deal with somebody that complains about anything, all the time... or someone who is generally negative. ", "How to deal with somebody that complains about anything, all the time... or someone who is generally negative. ", "How to deal with somebody that complains about anything, all the time... or someone who is generally negative. ", "How to deal with somebody that complains about anything, all the time... or someone who is generally negative. ", "How to deal with somebody that complains about anything, all the time... or someone who is generally negative. ", "How to deal with somebody that complains about anything, all the time... or someone who is generally negative. ", "How to deal with somebody that complains about anything, all the time... or someone who is generally negative. " ]

[ "Ask point blank, \"Wow, that sounds miserable. Did anything good happen to you today?\"\n\nYou're still sympathetic to their complaints but asking them to find something positive.\n\nDepends on the person, maybe it's better to ask, \"Why are you so angry?\" But that's much more confrontational and never really changes the dynamic for the better.", "Are you me?\n\nMy mother is similar to yours, I brought it up gently one day that I was trying to work on not having negative thoughts or saying things that were critical out loud. She got a little defensive but then did try to dial it back. \n\nI think some people just complain, that's just who they are, they'll only change when they notice it's toxic to themselves and others around them (perfect example is avoiding talking to her because of this). \n\nI also noticed she isn't always complaining but it's more of a negative or critical observation. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all mentality might work here.\n\nMy suggestion would be to try to come from a place of love for your mother, and using \"I feel\" instead of \"you are\" so she doesn't feel attacked or gets defensive.\n\nOtherwise just smile, nod and say everything in a super positive, happy tone.", "You will never be able to change someone else's behavior. Your mother has to make that choice for herself. All you can do is decide how much of her behavior you can take. If her negativity gets to be too much, you have to start distancing yourself. If you do that, tell her why. She will either decide to make the effort to change, or she won't. Good luck to you.", "That's a tough one. It's just their perspective to try and find the negative. This may be able to be conditioned, like Pavlov. When the negatives start flowing, ask what they liked or was good about the service or product. They should eventually catch on that you want to avoid the negativity.", "I call people out on it and then they point out something wrong and I ask them if they can hear themselves. Or sometimes I’ll say something that sounds like I’m agreeing but it’s really just mocking them.", "Not the same dynamic obviously but I work with kids 5-19. My boss was driving a van full of teens somewhere one day and had a teen who was only negative the whole day. Finally boss told this teen that if she could refrain from saying anything negative for the rest of the trip she would buy her a blizzard. Teen hardly talked the rest of the trip but admitted she didn't realize she was being so negative. Someone else said it as well that you get so used to they way you talk that you don't notice how negative you may be. I definitely like the idea of asking tour mother to find the positives but you could also gently \"challenge\" your mother to even just an hour or an outting of positive talk only. It might make her realize just what she is doing.", "My mom has been like this for YEARS. Out of 3 kids, only 1 still speaks with her. She has 100% victim mentality and it is so incredibly draining to be around her that I had to step back and put myself first. Selfish? Absolutely. I've tried talking to her nicely, I've called her out on her crap, but there's always an excuse. I hope it doesnt escalate to this with your mom." ]

[ 8, 7, 3, 3, 3, 2, 1 ]

[ "How do you make new friends? I'm in my early 20s, and work full time, so aside from my girlfriend, coworkers, family and 2 friends I don't really see often, I don't have much social contact. I'm shy but can talk to strangers, just can't seem to make it last past a brief conversation and awkward silence", "How do you make new friends? I'm in my early 20s, and work full time, so aside from my girlfriend, coworkers, family and 2 friends I don't really see often, I don't have much social contact. I'm shy but can talk to strangers, just can't seem to make it last past a brief conversation and awkward silence", "How do you make new friends? I'm in my early 20s, and work full time, so aside from my girlfriend, coworkers, family and 2 friends I don't really see often, I don't have much social contact. I'm shy but can talk to strangers, just can't seem to make it last past a brief conversation and awkward silence", "How do you make new friends? I'm in my early 20s, and work full time, so aside from my girlfriend, coworkers, family and 2 friends I don't really see often, I don't have much social contact. I'm shy but can talk to strangers, just can't seem to make it last past a brief conversation and awkward silence", "How do you make new friends? I'm in my early 20s, and work full time, so aside from my girlfriend, coworkers, family and 2 friends I don't really see often, I don't have much social contact. I'm shy but can talk to strangers, just can't seem to make it last past a brief conversation and awkward silence", "How do you make new friends? I'm in my early 20s, and work full time, so aside from my girlfriend, coworkers, family and 2 friends I don't really see often, I don't have much social contact. I'm shy but can talk to strangers, just can't seem to make it last past a brief conversation and awkward silence", "How do you make new friends? I'm in my early 20s, and work full time, so aside from my girlfriend, coworkers, family and 2 friends I don't really see often, I don't have much social contact. I'm shy but can talk to strangers, just can't seem to make it last past a brief conversation and awkward silence", "How do you make new friends? I'm in my early 20s, and work full time, so aside from my girlfriend, coworkers, family and 2 friends I don't really see often, I don't have much social contact. I'm shy but can talk to strangers, just can't seem to make it last past a brief conversation and awkward silence", "How do you make new friends? I'm in my early 20s, and work full time, so aside from my girlfriend, coworkers, family and 2 friends I don't really see often, I don't have much social contact. I'm shy but can talk to strangers, just can't seem to make it last past a brief conversation and awkward silence", "How do you make new friends? I'm in my early 20s, and work full time, so aside from my girlfriend, coworkers, family and 2 friends I don't really see often, I don't have much social contact. I'm shy but can talk to strangers, just can't seem to make it last past a brief conversation and awkward silence", "How do you make new friends? I'm in my early 20s, and work full time, so aside from my girlfriend, coworkers, family and 2 friends I don't really see often, I don't have much social contact. I'm shy but can talk to strangers, just can't seem to make it last past a brief conversation and awkward silence" ]

[ "What really helped me, since I work from home so my contact with people is limited, was going to activity classes. I take dance and exercise classes and have managed to make friends over the shared interest there. Find something you'd like to do and take a class for it, even if you don't make friends right away, you're bound to at some point :) ", "Stop relying on the Internet. Seriously. It's not as easy as, \"join a club.\" You gotta put yourself out there. Small talk sucks, but it can help you make friends. Even if it's superficial. The more you do it, the more comfortable it becomes. And engaging people, even if superficially, helps you connect with people. ", "Find a forum board for a hobby you have, and then see if there are any local folks who would enjoy meeting up to chat about the hobby. Me for example, I enjoy talking about jeeps and mechanic work so I joined an xj forum. Sadly there aren't many people around me so that didn't work out, but either way its an idea", "kickball, or any other rec team sport that doesn't require much talent to have fun. find a league that is beer league and it makes the conversations flow a lot easier. There is typically going out involved after. \n\n", "I'd say that you should try to find someone who has similar interests. It gives you loads to talk about and stops the awkward small talk followed by silence.", "You just have to start putting yourself in situations where you will be around likeminded people. Do you have any hobbies? Join a meet up group or a club. Go to trivia night at a local pub. Take a class. Another LPT: as you get older, your circle of friends may not be as wide as it was in college and high school. That is okay as long as you are satisfied with your social life. ", "The best way is to sit down one day and decide what YOU really like to do. What you have the most fun with, and then find a way to join others in this activity. If you have an interest in the activity, you will be more likely to \"engage\" with others in conversation. Be open to making social appointments with men and women. Coffee, lunch, dinner...all good times to talk about the things you like with others who also like the same sort of things. You may even find some new interests...and friends.", "Since moving to a new city I've made most of my new friends via work or work events and I don't mean just hanging out with colleagues after work. Find a show or something they want to see too and suggest inviting a group of friends, then you're already meeting their friends. \nI also have a few friends I made as I went to a conference related to my job or at a training day. People at those are so relieved to talk about something that ISN'T work related that it's really easy to get beyond small talk. Also means that because it's a work thing you avoid the awkward \"how do we keep in touch?\" as you swap business cards but keep in touch about non-work things. \n\nThere are plenty of apps and sites for finding groups who are into what you are and usually if they're on there, they're super welcoming people. I found a group to play boardgames with which was great plus that's one you don't need skills for to have fun. If you don't have a hobby- try something unexpected like archery or sewing, at the very least you'll have a story to tell when you need to move on from small talk. \n\nBeing able to talk to strangers is a talent most folk don't have so you've got a good start! Mostly I'd say be patient, don't take the existing friends for granted in your search and make sure you're enjoying whatever you decide to do, otherwise you're going to make friends with people you don't actually like. ", "Its weird that you would start a conversation with a brief introduction, I don't think I have ever done that lol. Try starting with asking them questions. The easiest go to for any guy is sports. I've made some great friends and we just started with talking about football. One of them, we actually couldn't remember each others names so for the first month or so we would just call each other by our college football teams (I was Oregon, he was Oklahoma). We met in a local pub we both live near, made a ton of memories with that guy since then, he is actually my number one go to wingman when I want to go talk to girls lol. You got to find a way to actually connect with people, and if you can make them laugh its even better.", "I posted this in another sub:\n\nThe recipe for new friends is simple:\n\n1.Find a venue where you'll tend to run into the same people every time (work, school, hobby, etc.)\n\n\n2.Once you've become a familiar face to the people you can start by saying hey and making very brief small talk. Don't try to go all in with getting people to have a conversation with you - that will simply scare them off.\n\n\n3.Repeat step 2 over a period of time. As time passes, the conversations will tend to be less benign and last a little longer. This shows that people are comfortable around you and they've determined you're not a creep.\n\n\n4.This is where either you can make the first move or them. Best case scenario is that someone invites you to a social function with other member of said venue and you can repeat steps 2 and 3 with the new people. Otherwise, invite them out to something non-committal and that won't take up too much time. Going out for a beer, a quick bite to eat, etc. Do NOT take it personally if they refuse on the first attempt This just means they're still not quite comfortable which means you need to keep doing step 3.\n\n\n5.Interactions outside of the venue will help create further talking points and increase your comfort levels around each other. Congrats, you've made a new friend(s)!\n\n\nNote that this process is not something that will happen overnight. It may take weeks, even months to do. You must have patience and remember that you reap what you sow.", "Just a sub pro tip for this. When making new friends don't get too involved too quickly. People have baggage. Better to give people time to show they are a psycho than making them your best friend who you share your secrets with within the first two weeks. \n\nHere is how I rank people:\n\nYear\n1-5 Casual Acquaintance \n5-10 Friend\n10-15 Good Friend\n15-20 Very Good Friend\n20+ Lifelong Friend\n\n" ]

[ 7, 5, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, -1 ]

[ "How to easily select a specific word from a link in browser ? Trying to select a specific word using the normal technique for text doesn't work on links, any way to to make selecting easier ?", "How to easily select a specific word from a link in browser ? Trying to select a specific word using the normal technique for text doesn't work on links, any way to to make selecting easier ?" ]

[ "In Firefox and Chrome, hold down the Alt key while selecting or press left mouse button just above or below the word and drag across.", "Like highlighting it?\n\nYou can click, hold and drag, or you can use ctrl+shift and the l/r arrow keys." ]

[ 2, 1 ]

[ "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n", "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n", "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n", "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n", "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n", "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n", "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n", "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n", "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n", "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n", "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n", "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n", "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n", "is there a comfortable position for reading a book in bed? Every time I want to read a book in bed, I find myself twisting and turning to balance fatigue between shoulders, arms and back. Is there a comfortable way to lie down and read?\n\n" ]

[ "6 pillows stacked against headboard in a wedge formation. Lounge back like in recliner. 2 pillows under each elbow. One pillow on top of stomach. Welcome to your throne. Extra pillows in your life are a cheap luxury. ", "Buy one of [these](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NMBK2H0/ref=cm_sw_r_other_awd_WOUFwbREZRWE4) and you can read while laying flat on your back. They're called prism glasses and yes, I have a pair :)", "On your back, 2 pillows behind head and shoulders, knees bent with book propped on thighs. Not perfect but the best I've found.", "First off for being large (6'0 230) I'm extremely flexible, I lay on my back cross one leg on top of the other and prop my self up with pillow \n[caption](http://imgur.com/wDGhd6H.jpg) \nSorry hard angle for a pic", "On my side, kindle on its side propped upon the folded cover, under the blanket.\n\nOr, in summer, lying on my stomach, off the edge of the bed, looking down on kindle on the floor.", "The only way I've found is to put my bed up against a corner of the room instead of just a back wall, then get an extra pillow and make kinda a wedge shape. I can sit there and read for hours.", "If you're one to adopt the \"prone\" position for reading, place a pillow under your stomach and double another under your chest. I find this to be best for the spine.", "That's the biggest advantage of a Kindle, in my opinion. It's so light weight and is much easier to light too.", "Studies show that the only things that you should do in bed are: sleep and fuck. Doing things that require you to have active minds, like school/home work, makes your bed a place that you don't associate with sleep. Thus, making it more difficult to fall asleep. \n\nSo, don't read in bed. ", "Shoulder fatigue is a *big* problem for me. I read exclusively on an iPad mini now and I read lying *vertically* in bed. I alternate between lying flat on my back, and on either sides, to help ease my arms. This, apart from when sitting on a reclining chair with my legs propped on bed or some stool, is how I can read at length without putting my body at fell ill at ease. ", "I would purchase a \"husband pillow\". I'm not sure what they're technically used for, but mine never leaves my bed. I use it both for reading and for laptop use. It's a professional solution to the \"6 pillows in a wedge formation\" setup.", "I use [one of these.](http://st.hzcdn.com/simgs/61214b4b01b3c7b7_4-0059/contemporary-decorative-pillows.jpg)", "I have been using a pair of [prism glasses](http://www.amazon.com/Creative-High-definition-Horizontal-Lie-down-Periscope/dp/B00CO1NABY/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1451262573&sr=8-1&keywords=periscope+glasses) while laying down normally. Kindle rests on my belly. Works surprisingly well.", "Well, you're going to have that inconvenient arm sticking out to the side if you sleep on your side anyway, why not use that to hold your phone with an ebook. \n\nI guess dead trees work ok, too." ]

[ 194, 16, 6, 4, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, -1 ]

[ "How to make long distance relationships work. I met this girl online and we haven't met irl yet, my family knows her really well and I've been trying to get to know her better but I feel like I've hit a stump. She likes my family a lot but I cannot find things to talk about on a daily occurrence. I just ask her about her day and that usually doesn't take longer than 8 minutes. I want to talk to her I just feel like there's nothing to talk about, there's also a little language barrier that stops me from saying everything I want to. I don't have any feelings for her right now but that's probably because we've never met. I need tips on things to talk about and to keep our conversations interesting. I really want to make this work but it's hard, I've almost called this whole thing off a few times just because I feel like we don't have anything to talk about. I'm meeting her in 25 days I just don't know if I can last that long with daily boring conversations, people always say that they talked with their SO for hours daily but I just can't understand how.", "How to make long distance relationships work. I met this girl online and we haven't met irl yet, my family knows her really well and I've been trying to get to know her better but I feel like I've hit a stump. She likes my family a lot but I cannot find things to talk about on a daily occurrence. I just ask her about her day and that usually doesn't take longer than 8 minutes. I want to talk to her I just feel like there's nothing to talk about, there's also a little language barrier that stops me from saying everything I want to. I don't have any feelings for her right now but that's probably because we've never met. I need tips on things to talk about and to keep our conversations interesting. I really want to make this work but it's hard, I've almost called this whole thing off a few times just because I feel like we don't have anything to talk about. I'm meeting her in 25 days I just don't know if I can last that long with daily boring conversations, people always say that they talked with their SO for hours daily but I just can't understand how.", "How to make long distance relationships work. I met this girl online and we haven't met irl yet, my family knows her really well and I've been trying to get to know her better but I feel like I've hit a stump. She likes my family a lot but I cannot find things to talk about on a daily occurrence. I just ask her about her day and that usually doesn't take longer than 8 minutes. I want to talk to her I just feel like there's nothing to talk about, there's also a little language barrier that stops me from saying everything I want to. I don't have any feelings for her right now but that's probably because we've never met. I need tips on things to talk about and to keep our conversations interesting. I really want to make this work but it's hard, I've almost called this whole thing off a few times just because I feel like we don't have anything to talk about. I'm meeting her in 25 days I just don't know if I can last that long with daily boring conversations, people always say that they talked with their SO for hours daily but I just can't understand how.", "How to make long distance relationships work. I met this girl online and we haven't met irl yet, my family knows her really well and I've been trying to get to know her better but I feel like I've hit a stump. She likes my family a lot but I cannot find things to talk about on a daily occurrence. I just ask her about her day and that usually doesn't take longer than 8 minutes. I want to talk to her I just feel like there's nothing to talk about, there's also a little language barrier that stops me from saying everything I want to. I don't have any feelings for her right now but that's probably because we've never met. I need tips on things to talk about and to keep our conversations interesting. I really want to make this work but it's hard, I've almost called this whole thing off a few times just because I feel like we don't have anything to talk about. I'm meeting her in 25 days I just don't know if I can last that long with daily boring conversations, people always say that they talked with their SO for hours daily but I just can't understand how.", "How to make long distance relationships work. I met this girl online and we haven't met irl yet, my family knows her really well and I've been trying to get to know her better but I feel like I've hit a stump. She likes my family a lot but I cannot find things to talk about on a daily occurrence. I just ask her about her day and that usually doesn't take longer than 8 minutes. I want to talk to her I just feel like there's nothing to talk about, there's also a little language barrier that stops me from saying everything I want to. I don't have any feelings for her right now but that's probably because we've never met. I need tips on things to talk about and to keep our conversations interesting. I really want to make this work but it's hard, I've almost called this whole thing off a few times just because I feel like we don't have anything to talk about. I'm meeting her in 25 days I just don't know if I can last that long with daily boring conversations, people always say that they talked with their SO for hours daily but I just can't understand how.", "How to make long distance relationships work. I met this girl online and we haven't met irl yet, my family knows her really well and I've been trying to get to know her better but I feel like I've hit a stump. She likes my family a lot but I cannot find things to talk about on a daily occurrence. I just ask her about her day and that usually doesn't take longer than 8 minutes. I want to talk to her I just feel like there's nothing to talk about, there's also a little language barrier that stops me from saying everything I want to. I don't have any feelings for her right now but that's probably because we've never met. I need tips on things to talk about and to keep our conversations interesting. I really want to make this work but it's hard, I've almost called this whole thing off a few times just because I feel like we don't have anything to talk about. I'm meeting her in 25 days I just don't know if I can last that long with daily boring conversations, people always say that they talked with their SO for hours daily but I just can't understand how.", "How to make long distance relationships work. I met this girl online and we haven't met irl yet, my family knows her really well and I've been trying to get to know her better but I feel like I've hit a stump. She likes my family a lot but I cannot find things to talk about on a daily occurrence. I just ask her about her day and that usually doesn't take longer than 8 minutes. I want to talk to her I just feel like there's nothing to talk about, there's also a little language barrier that stops me from saying everything I want to. I don't have any feelings for her right now but that's probably because we've never met. I need tips on things to talk about and to keep our conversations interesting. I really want to make this work but it's hard, I've almost called this whole thing off a few times just because I feel like we don't have anything to talk about. I'm meeting her in 25 days I just don't know if I can last that long with daily boring conversations, people always say that they talked with their SO for hours daily but I just can't understand how.", "How to make long distance relationships work. I met this girl online and we haven't met irl yet, my family knows her really well and I've been trying to get to know her better but I feel like I've hit a stump. She likes my family a lot but I cannot find things to talk about on a daily occurrence. I just ask her about her day and that usually doesn't take longer than 8 minutes. I want to talk to her I just feel like there's nothing to talk about, there's also a little language barrier that stops me from saying everything I want to. I don't have any feelings for her right now but that's probably because we've never met. I need tips on things to talk about and to keep our conversations interesting. I really want to make this work but it's hard, I've almost called this whole thing off a few times just because I feel like we don't have anything to talk about. I'm meeting her in 25 days I just don't know if I can last that long with daily boring conversations, people always say that they talked with their SO for hours daily but I just can't understand how." ]

[ "Short answer: just be yourself, i mean just act like you always act. Don't be different or something \n\nLong answer: i'm too drunk for a long answer", "going on five years & newly engaged to a beautiful girl i met through a dumb blogging site. me in jersey & her in Colorado so it's not impossible, i promise.\n\nit still seems like you're still early in your relationship with this person so you still have a lot to get to know. just be yourself. they'll either like you or they won't.", "Stuff to talk about: Hobbies? Interests? Life goals? \n\nI've done the LDR thing before and honestly it never ended well. This isn't saying this situation wouldn't work but I think you may be over analyzing this already. ", "May be watch a movie. Read the same book. Plan a vacation.\n\nHow does she know your family but not you?", "It sounds like you're not really all that attracted to this person, but I'm just a random stranger on the internet. Good luck!", "Another reason why I will NEVER, EVER consider being in a long distance relationship ever again. I met an Oregonian that I hit it off really well with - and then she friendzoned me. Then I met a girl from Amarillo (keep in mind that I live in Texas, just east of Dallas). The feeling was mutual - but complications with my breakup with my ex prevented us from taking things further. The way I see it, if she lives more than 50 miles from you, it most likely WILL NOT work.", "Try video chatting for a bit, even if you don't have anything to say you'll still be there and it makes all the difference. My husband is from Florida and we'd be in 12 hours calls some days and not even speak to each other. It was really easy meeting him for the first time after that because I knew what he sounded like and what his personality was (outside of texting). \n\nAll I can really suggest video or calling here, sometimes hearing another person there brings up topics and question you wouldn't have originally thought of. ", "Long distance blows unless you're going to shorten the distance permanently any time soon. I say this speaking from experience.\n\nYou might be better off breaking things off and trying to find a partner that you can actually be with in person." ]

[ 8, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to stop late night binging. I eat healthy all day and stay way within my calorie limit, but then the clock strikes 8 or 9 and all the leftover food my mom cooked during the day just seems irresistible. Any tips on how to overcome this?", "How to stop late night binging. I eat healthy all day and stay way within my calorie limit, but then the clock strikes 8 or 9 and all the leftover food my mom cooked during the day just seems irresistible. Any tips on how to overcome this?", "How to stop late night binging. I eat healthy all day and stay way within my calorie limit, but then the clock strikes 8 or 9 and all the leftover food my mom cooked during the day just seems irresistible. Any tips on how to overcome this?", "How to stop late night binging. I eat healthy all day and stay way within my calorie limit, but then the clock strikes 8 or 9 and all the leftover food my mom cooked during the day just seems irresistible. Any tips on how to overcome this?", "How to stop late night binging. I eat healthy all day and stay way within my calorie limit, but then the clock strikes 8 or 9 and all the leftover food my mom cooked during the day just seems irresistible. Any tips on how to overcome this?", "How to stop late night binging. I eat healthy all day and stay way within my calorie limit, but then the clock strikes 8 or 9 and all the leftover food my mom cooked during the day just seems irresistible. Any tips on how to overcome this?", "How to stop late night binging. I eat healthy all day and stay way within my calorie limit, but then the clock strikes 8 or 9 and all the leftover food my mom cooked during the day just seems irresistible. Any tips on how to overcome this?", "How to stop late night binging. I eat healthy all day and stay way within my calorie limit, but then the clock strikes 8 or 9 and all the leftover food my mom cooked during the day just seems irresistible. Any tips on how to overcome this?" ]

[ "Brush your teeth with REALLY minty toothpaste. Everything will taste like mintbutt and you wont want it!", "Put a healthy food in the fridge to snack on. \n\nGo to bed earlier.\n\nDo it old school and use your self control.", "Drinking water - you're likely craving food because you're dehydrated and brush your teeth + mouthwash to have your entire mouth stay minty.", "get some hard candies. They're only 20 or 30 calories apiece and last a good, long time. Jolly Rancher watermelon is my favorite, and werther's originals are good too.", "Sleep more. I have a hunch you're doing this because you get tired late at night, and being tired lowers your self control. ", "It's possible that your body just really wants calories before bed. I'm sort of that way; especially when I'm dieting, I have to set aside some calorie allowance for the late evening or else I'll be hungry *and* won't sleep well. ", "Go to the store each morning and buy what you need for the day, later when the night comes you wont have anything to bindge.", "Eat carrots/other vegetables. Carrots are cheap and doesn't contain much calories I guess and you will get tired of them pretty fast. Works for me atleast. That and alot of water. " ]

[ 16, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Anything related to transferring to a new school (high school level) Please don't give generic tips like, \"Befriend everyone.\" I expect more from this sub-reddit. ", "Anything related to transferring to a new school (high school level) Please don't give generic tips like, \"Befriend everyone.\" I expect more from this sub-reddit. " ]

[ "Check to see what required classes your new High School has.\n\n2 Years ago I transferred to a new school in senior year. I'd taken all my required classes at my first school, but not at my new school. So I had to take 8 classes a day for the first semester so I could knock out the required World Religion and Health classes.", "Honestly man it sounds cliche but just be yourself. Study psychology body language means a lot. If you are not confident work on that now it will help you so much down the road." ]

[ 2, 1 ]

[ "How do I make my office better? I just got a new job where I have an office. It's about 12'x7.5' it has a door and a window on the opposite side of the door. I work at my desk and people come in and out, coworkers not clients, and I want this place to be awesome. I've never had an office before and I am looking for tips on how to make it better. \n\nBetter how? \n\nObviously, certain choices reflect my personality, art and whatnot, what I am looking for is how to make this place more efficient, how to have great storage and how to make it feel like a classy office instead of a boring office.\n\nAny tips, inspirational pictures or ideas are welcome.", "How do I make my office better? I just got a new job where I have an office. It's about 12'x7.5' it has a door and a window on the opposite side of the door. I work at my desk and people come in and out, coworkers not clients, and I want this place to be awesome. I've never had an office before and I am looking for tips on how to make it better. \n\nBetter how? \n\nObviously, certain choices reflect my personality, art and whatnot, what I am looking for is how to make this place more efficient, how to have great storage and how to make it feel like a classy office instead of a boring office.\n\nAny tips, inspirational pictures or ideas are welcome.", "How do I make my office better? I just got a new job where I have an office. It's about 12'x7.5' it has a door and a window on the opposite side of the door. I work at my desk and people come in and out, coworkers not clients, and I want this place to be awesome. I've never had an office before and I am looking for tips on how to make it better. \n\nBetter how? \n\nObviously, certain choices reflect my personality, art and whatnot, what I am looking for is how to make this place more efficient, how to have great storage and how to make it feel like a classy office instead of a boring office.\n\nAny tips, inspirational pictures or ideas are welcome.", "How do I make my office better? I just got a new job where I have an office. It's about 12'x7.5' it has a door and a window on the opposite side of the door. I work at my desk and people come in and out, coworkers not clients, and I want this place to be awesome. I've never had an office before and I am looking for tips on how to make it better. \n\nBetter how? \n\nObviously, certain choices reflect my personality, art and whatnot, what I am looking for is how to make this place more efficient, how to have great storage and how to make it feel like a classy office instead of a boring office.\n\nAny tips, inspirational pictures or ideas are welcome.", "How do I make my office better? I just got a new job where I have an office. It's about 12'x7.5' it has a door and a window on the opposite side of the door. I work at my desk and people come in and out, coworkers not clients, and I want this place to be awesome. I've never had an office before and I am looking for tips on how to make it better. \n\nBetter how? \n\nObviously, certain choices reflect my personality, art and whatnot, what I am looking for is how to make this place more efficient, how to have great storage and how to make it feel like a classy office instead of a boring office.\n\nAny tips, inspirational pictures or ideas are welcome.", "How do I make my office better? I just got a new job where I have an office. It's about 12'x7.5' it has a door and a window on the opposite side of the door. I work at my desk and people come in and out, coworkers not clients, and I want this place to be awesome. I've never had an office before and I am looking for tips on how to make it better. \n\nBetter how? \n\nObviously, certain choices reflect my personality, art and whatnot, what I am looking for is how to make this place more efficient, how to have great storage and how to make it feel like a classy office instead of a boring office.\n\nAny tips, inspirational pictures or ideas are welcome." ]

[ "If you are going for a homely and warm look, a rug will do more than almost anything else.\n\nMove your desk so that your back is not to the door and, if possible, your side is to the window. \n\n", "Look up the \"5 S's\" of industry, it pretty much goes for everything in life, and I'd be willing to be it'll help you out a whole bunch.", "Not really office decor but consider an air purifier and a small refrigerator. As for storage, L shaped desks are awesome because they have plenty of room underneath to put everything from file folders to snacks, to a shredder, as well as a trash pail so no one sees that. Everything neat and out of sight. Oh, and I also have a pillow and small blanket down there. Windows are great but make sure you have blinds if they face east or west. Family photos look nice if you keep a few on the wall with coordinated frames so they don't clutter your desk. I have a small loveseat and a console table to hold a keurig coffee machine and a candy jar as well but I have a fairly big office. But trust me on the Air Purifier. ", "If people are coming to you, I'd suggest a circle table with 2-3 chairs in front of your desk. So that when you're talking to them they feel like you're equals. The desk asserts an unequal relationship (which also has its uses). Corner couch could probably achieve the same but depending on your office culture people might avoid being the middle on a couch.\n\nAlso if people are ever waiting for you in your office, some coffee table books.\n\nAs for space utilization, I'm a fan of 3M hooks on the underside of the desk for headphone/etc storage. It's pretty slick and can serve as a conversation starter.", "Adding a desktop plant adds life to a sometimes lifeless environment! \n\nJust make sure you keep it alive. \n(for those who have severed off their green thumbs, fake plants are realistic and high quality, can't kill them!)", "Plants! They improve the air quality of an office and having greenery about just lifts your mood :)\n\n" ]

[ 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. ", "What is the best way to stop snacking. I have a portion control problem and I’m sick of it. I let food control me and I’m looking for a way out. " ]

[ "Replace snacking with gum./water.\nGo for a quick walk instead of munching.\nReplace your usual snack/s with a healthier alternative.\n\nThere’s plenty more I can suggest. These ideas will help you become more cognizant of the snacking so it doesn’t continue to be a habit.", "Remove temptation. Don’t buy foods that you know you struggle with controlling your portions, buy them as a one-off treat in a single serving size while you are out and about. If there’s someone in your house that eats these things and you don’t get a vote about whether or not they’re in the house, make sure that they are stored behind a closed door. I tell my husband to put the Oreos away and don’t tell me where they are. Don’t hang out in the kitchen if you’re not there to eat. If you find yourself wanting to binge, put the food down and spend at least 15 minutes doing something to distracting yourself, things that you can’t do while eating: walking, crafting, etc. \n\nTreat yourself gently, know that you won’t be successful 100 percent of the time. And if you are on a weight loss journey, consider checking out r/LoseIt for support. You got this!", "Tea! Constantly be drinking / heating tea, try a variety of flavours if you like, to keep things interesting. Also always be drinking a zero or near-zero calorie liquid, water, tea, diluted coffee if you’re alright with the caffeine. \n\nGive your body something to ‘consume’ and give you that full feeling, and keep your fluids up at the same time.", "Sometimes I will take a swig of tapatio when I want a snack. Helps me, but I get it if it only helps me lol", "Snapping a rubber band on my wrist help me quit smoking. How about snapping one everytime you have an out of meal craving.", "Maybe swap out with healthy snacks like nuts, vegetables etc. I eat baby carrots as snacks and feel full after 5-10.", "I learned the rule to leave 25% behind. This helps your body learn to feel full and helps you recognize that signal. It stops overeating and eventually you won’t need to leave 25% on your plate:", "I learned if I put half of what I normally eat (half a decade ago now) and wait 20mins after the meal I'll feel full just like I would shovelling a bucket of food now. Do this 6months or so and your stomach will shrink. I used the nugget of advice that your stomache is the size of your balled fist as motivation and now I'm down 30kgs. Also put a stop to eating after 6pm. Intermittent fasting helps you regain control of portion sizes too. Good luck.", "I have an issue with snacking too :( . I try to keep to a schedule of 4 or 5 small meals. Once I found my right balance of protein and carbs, it kept me feeling full. If you snack when you’re stressed, find a distracting physical activity. Sometimes you just need to get past that moment.\nDon’t get discouraged. It takes time, but you can change this for yourself.", "For me I usually drink a solid 8 oz of water when I get the urge to snack and that usually works. If it doesn't and I know that I'm just bored or it's not close enough to a meal to justify eating I will brush my teeth or chomp on a piece of gum. Something about the minty freshness kills my appetite for a while.", "Along with things that everyone else has said, if you do happen to snack, pour a portioned amount into a bowl and eat it from there. I find that when I eat straight out of the bag I tend to eat towards finishing the bag and having trouble stopping (\"Just one more ... and one more ... and one more ...\" etc.). When I set a predefined amount into a bowl, I have more success eating just that and not more than I intended.", "when it comes to junk food only buy what you intend to eat that day\n\nkeep healthy snacks on hand that requires no prep work to enjoy: celery sticks, grapes, baby carrots, shelled nuts, etc... are tasty and you really don't have to worry so much about portion control.\n\nit's a win-win", "keep snacks out of your house. Buy a scale and weigh out each item on your plate (2 oz for pasta, 4 oz for meat, etc). Drink more water", "Restaurants sometimes have very large portions. If going out to eat bring a container with you. When the food comes put some of in the container right away so it is not on your plate to eat. If you don't have a container then put some on the side of your plate and add something that will make it inedible for you. For me that means sprinkling pepper on it.", "Pick a time that it is ok to eat. Then eat. Sometime we get hung up on deprivation. Next step is to make sure when you are eating that you eat the proper things. Leafy greens, nuts ,seeds and complex carbs... once those 2 things are done one can literally snack away on whatever and still be healthy.", "Maybe there’s nothing wrong with snacking if you’re hungry? Like intuitive eating? I spent years punishing myself for eating “the wrong things” at “the wrong times.” I’ve never been happier since letting that thinking go. (For me it was a food addiction.)", "Keep a water bottle filled next to you at all times. Buy snacks in portion controlled bags. For example, I could easily eat a pound of pistachios in a day or two. But if I buy the individual bags, 130 calories each, I can limit myself to one per day. \n\nUse a calorie counter app. I like “MyFitnessPal” because it is free. I’ve been logging everything I’ve eaten for the past several years. I’ve discovered that if I at the recommended 2000 calories a day, I gained weight, rapidly. 1500 calories held my weight steady. I’ve cut that back to 1350 calories a day, and could quickly feel (and see) a difference. What surprises Nevis that when I eat a high calorie meal (pizza!) I feel like I need to eat that much each day for about the next four days. Only when I intentionally eat less do I feel better. \n\nGood luck to you! If I can do this, anybody can!", "If you’re going to snack, choose raw veggies as snacks. Celery, carrots, snap peas, etc. \n\nVery filling and stays with you awhile. \n\nWhen I do this, I find I can skip a meal because i still feel full from the veggie bomb." ]

[ 10, 7, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2 ]

[ "how to tell people it’s your birthday It’s my birthday today and I don’t know how to tell people. How would I say to someone it’s my birthday?", "how to tell people it’s your birthday It’s my birthday today and I don’t know how to tell people. How would I say to someone it’s my birthday?", "how to tell people it’s your birthday It’s my birthday today and I don’t know how to tell people. How would I say to someone it’s my birthday?", "how to tell people it’s your birthday It’s my birthday today and I don’t know how to tell people. How would I say to someone it’s my birthday?", "how to tell people it’s your birthday It’s my birthday today and I don’t know how to tell people. How would I say to someone it’s my birthday?", "how to tell people it’s your birthday It’s my birthday today and I don’t know how to tell people. How would I say to someone it’s my birthday?", "how to tell people it’s your birthday It’s my birthday today and I don’t know how to tell people. How would I say to someone it’s my birthday?", "how to tell people it’s your birthday It’s my birthday today and I don’t know how to tell people. How would I say to someone it’s my birthday?", "how to tell people it’s your birthday It’s my birthday today and I don’t know how to tell people. How would I say to someone it’s my birthday?" ]

[ "\"I just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday.\"\n\n\"Today's not my birthday, though.\"\n\n\"Really? Because I thought we had the same birthday.\"", "Invest in a light-up neon sign that you can attach to a headband. Wear it out around town on your birthday.\n\nBut on a serious note, try to slide it into conversation somehow. If you're going out to eat, say something like, \"Since it's my birthday, I'm splurging and getting an appetizer.\" Or something similar based on what you're doing. And happy birthday!", "When people ask what you're doing at the weekend.. \"well it's my birthday on wednesday so i am going out for a few drinks on friday\" :) ", "The more pertinent question is why does it matter? Not to speak in callous terms, but unless you are turning 21 or something it's kind of whatever.", "Wish them happy birthday, and then when they tell you it isn't there birthday say, \"Oh, I thought we had the same birthday\". Works 10/10 times, can confirm.", "I worked with a guy, who made a 25' banner. With his own name and happy birthday. He then hung it in the work area.", "in New Orleans we pin money to our chest and people add to it. Seems kinda dumb at first but its a great conversation starter. ", "Throw a party, say \"____'s Birthday Party\" on the invitation. Or wear one of those sashes that say, \"Birthday Princess.\" ", "nobody knows when my birthday is except my family :( i feel too ashamed to be an attention whore to tell them... is it really ok to just say it?" ]

[ 36, 11, 4, 4, 3, 3, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "Staying few days in hospital for surgery. Any protips how to survive this time? (Central Europe) - Next week I should be in hospital for laparoscopic surgery of gallbladder. Internet says the stay is 2 days (but I predict 2-4 because of capacity). Any experience with this kind of surgery? Or tips how to survive in hospital bed & boredom?\n\nP.s: My first surgery.\nP.s.2: You can exclude all tips related with medical bills because of universal healthcare program.", "Staying few days in hospital for surgery. Any protips how to survive this time? (Central Europe) - Next week I should be in hospital for laparoscopic surgery of gallbladder. Internet says the stay is 2 days (but I predict 2-4 because of capacity). Any experience with this kind of surgery? Or tips how to survive in hospital bed & boredom?\n\nP.s: My first surgery.\nP.s.2: You can exclude all tips related with medical bills because of universal healthcare program.", "Staying few days in hospital for surgery. Any protips how to survive this time? (Central Europe) - Next week I should be in hospital for laparoscopic surgery of gallbladder. Internet says the stay is 2 days (but I predict 2-4 because of capacity). Any experience with this kind of surgery? Or tips how to survive in hospital bed & boredom?\n\nP.s: My first surgery.\nP.s.2: You can exclude all tips related with medical bills because of universal healthcare program.", "Staying few days in hospital for surgery. Any protips how to survive this time? (Central Europe) - Next week I should be in hospital for laparoscopic surgery of gallbladder. Internet says the stay is 2 days (but I predict 2-4 because of capacity). Any experience with this kind of surgery? Or tips how to survive in hospital bed & boredom?\n\nP.s: My first surgery.\nP.s.2: You can exclude all tips related with medical bills because of universal healthcare program." ]

[ "Be nice to your nurses. They are the ones who take care of you while you're in the hospital and you will have a better experience if the people taking care of you like you. ", "I was in hospital for 8 days a couple years back. Books, magazines, iPad with wifi are all fine but friends and relatives visiting was the time I looked forward to the most. My brother visited every day which was great. Canada, universal healthcare for the win.", "If you're picky about clothing bring your pajama bottoms at the very least, socks and slippers or flip flops. If you plan on showering there, your personal toiletries (face cream, deodorant, comb/ brush, soap, etc) If you have hobbies bring them if they can easily be done in a sitting position on a table/ TV tray. Books, magazines, word search/ crossword/sudoku, iPad are all good as well.\n\nThis sounds silly but some hospitals have gift shops or cafeterias where you might want to buy snacks or food/ drinks bring a card or cash. ", "Good luck. Feel better soon. I'd say the best way to pass time is just talking to the people that visit and spending sine time on reddit" ]

[ 5, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to remove anti-perspirant stains from shirts Hello everyone, I'm having problems with anti-perspirant stains on my t-shirts. They are white stains and are impossible to remove with detergent. Is there any LPT to do this?\n\nThank you.", "How to remove anti-perspirant stains from shirts Hello everyone, I'm having problems with anti-perspirant stains on my t-shirts. They are white stains and are impossible to remove with detergent. Is there any LPT to do this?\n\nThank you." ]

[ "What works for me 100% of the time is to dissolve a scoop of oxy clean in a basin full of water and soak the shirt anywhere from a few hours to 24 hours depending on how bad it is.\n\nI've done it with colored fabrics without any damage to them too. ", "Quick fix: Rub a dryer sheet on the stain. This hasn't worked flawlessly on everything for me, but in a hurry it makes it fade at least a little. " ]

[ 5, 1 ]

[ "Moving to Canada My husband, infant, three cats, and I are looking at moving to Canada from the US for a job. I'm trying to work through the logistics of such a move. Looking for any advice on the logistics of a cross-country move affordably - hiring reliable movers, getting the cats there affordably, learning the Canadian systems, etc.", "Moving to Canada My husband, infant, three cats, and I are looking at moving to Canada from the US for a job. I'm trying to work through the logistics of such a move. Looking for any advice on the logistics of a cross-country move affordably - hiring reliable movers, getting the cats there affordably, learning the Canadian systems, etc.", "Moving to Canada My husband, infant, three cats, and I are looking at moving to Canada from the US for a job. I'm trying to work through the logistics of such a move. Looking for any advice on the logistics of a cross-country move affordably - hiring reliable movers, getting the cats there affordably, learning the Canadian systems, etc.", "Moving to Canada My husband, infant, three cats, and I are looking at moving to Canada from the US for a job. I'm trying to work through the logistics of such a move. Looking for any advice on the logistics of a cross-country move affordably - hiring reliable movers, getting the cats there affordably, learning the Canadian systems, etc.", "Moving to Canada My husband, infant, three cats, and I are looking at moving to Canada from the US for a job. I'm trying to work through the logistics of such a move. Looking for any advice on the logistics of a cross-country move affordably - hiring reliable movers, getting the cats there affordably, learning the Canadian systems, etc." ]

[ "If you are moving to Toronto area or British Columbia. You better check the price of property here you may get sticker shock.", "[Here’s a fairly ~~useless~~ useful tutorial](https://youtu.be/EsL_TAfQxH8)\n\nAs for the cats, why wouldn’t you just drive them here with you in your vehicle?", "Well I moved from Canada to the USA... Soo I can kinda help! So I would not recommend shipping pets at all, they should come with you... \n\nAs far as moving, the company hiring you should already have that kind of stuff arranged for you tbh. \n\nWhat else do you really want to know? There's no such thing as temporary license plates, you don't drive the car off the lot immediately (it takes a few days). Drugs are cheaper even without insurance. Advil cold and sinus is available in bulk. Muscle relaxers (robaxacet) is available over the counter. Say sorry when you bump into someone, or even if you kind of sort of almost bump into someone. Lol. Also, an \"op, sorry\" will do.\n\nPeople will talk to you on the street randomly. If you're in Ontario sales tax is 13%. Yes seriously. \n\nGet a family doctor right away. Do you get ohip? Or a different provincial health care? I know refugees can register right away but not sure about different visas.", "Not sure where you’re moving from but if it’s warm where you are living currently you’ll need a new wardrobe. Coats, boots etc. We have snow here! ❄️ 🇨🇦", "American here, living in Canada: remember that you need to continue to file an income tax return for the United States every single year. Find an accountant who specializes in both the Canadian and American returns. I have a great lady at my local H&R Block office who can do this for a reasonable fee." ]

[ 4, 3, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to get up early in the weekends? I have no problem in wake up 06:30am from Monday to Friday to go to work, but in the weekends, when I have spare time to do what I like, I can't get up before 09:00am.", "How to get up early in the weekends? I have no problem in wake up 06:30am from Monday to Friday to go to work, but in the weekends, when I have spare time to do what I like, I can't get up before 09:00am." ]

[ "It sounds like you have sleep deprivation or depression. Normally, if you have to wake up with an alarm, it means that you are sleep deprived. If you wake up and just lay in bed not wanting to start the day, then it is sometimes based on inward stressors. ", "I experience this too but is because I sleep too late on weekends . Try to sleep early and you won't have problems on wake up early, and if you are tired during the day, take a nap of an hour or more." ]

[ 3, 1 ]

[ "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? ", "\"Rich people make their money work for them while poor people work for their money\", What are some pro tips for a poor man to become rich by making his money work for him? " ]

[ "Define poor first.\n\nBecause it doesn't mean the same thing to everyone. \n\nIf You're living paycheck to paycheck because living expenses claim every last dime then pretty much anything suggested here just won't work.\n\nIf you live paycheck to paycheck Because you're bad with money then that is an entirely different animal.", "That really is going to depend on the person, their skills, knowledge, etc.\n\nFor instance, I got a guy at work who didn't come from money, makes okay money, no degree, and he purchased his first house in his early 20's. He worked here through high school, summers, etc., and saved what he could while he lived at home for a down payment. He then chose to live in the basement and rent out the upstairs bedrooms, so he essentially has a couple of people making his house payment for him, building his equity in the property, and he is living in it pretty cheap, just maintaining it. No, it alone won't make him a millionaire, but it was a smart move and he is building wealth without breaking his back. I would consider this if I was younger. He will eventually have it paid off, and then he can do it again, and have a rental that will be a steady income stream. \n\nYou can look up Jason Fieber (Mr. Free at 33). He went from being in debt to pretty much retired at 33 by living frugally, and dividend investing. I think he sold his original blog, but I am pretty sure that you could find some of his stuff. Mr Money Mustache is another good one. I like looking at these, because they are normal people, that worked normal jobs, that were willing to do what it took to get financial freedom.", "This is boring AF, but spending less than you earn is a good place to start. Then invest that surplus, never sell it, and reinvest the earnings. For poor people (myself included), the most accessible investment is listed equities - I suggest going for a broad-based equity mark ETF (say one that tracks the S&P 500). \n\nDo this for the rest of your life without fail and you'll (or your kids) will wind up reasonably wealthy.", "If you are poor, just get a great job with benefits, never be sick or have an accident, don't gamble and you cN end up lower middle class", "Your taxes are spent by elected officials. The best way for the working poor in this country to get ahead? Mobilize, unionize, protest, register others to vote. No get-rich-quick scheme exists.", "Basically save as much money as you can by living as cheap as possible and invest that, invest in something that will give you passive income like dividend stocks.", "To make money work for you, you first have to have money. Education, experience, ideas, hard work is how you make money.", "Do you live paycheck to paycheck because all the poor people do. And if you live paycheck to paycheck then you don't have enough money to \"make it work for you\" because it's already working for someone else.", "1. Trust fund\n2. Nepotism \n3. STEM\n4. Trade but joining a union young\n5. Not having kids until 30-40s\n6. Not daily smoking and drinking daily\n7. No other addictions and rarely spending money out\n\nIf you have some combo of 1-5 then ignore 6 and 7", "I think you're misinterpreting the quote. Read it again. Poor people don't become rich by \"making his money work for him\" because a poor man doesn't have money to put to work.", "Use your money to buy your way into a meeting with a rich person. Then there's another quote you can ask about. I think it's \"eat the rich\". No idea what that could mean.", "People who are rich are either born into wealth, or exploit others for profit, or jump onto an emerging market\n\nExamples are Elon Musk who was born to wealthy mine owners, or Bill Gates who made money with very anti competitive practices, or Sergei Brin and Larry Page, who identified a need for better search online and founded Google.\n\nAnyone who becomes rich without those three is extremely lucky.", "The poor man pays their fairer share in taxes, therefore all tax spending should work for the bottom up. We are only as successful as the least among us. We can do better.", "Millionaire next door: Find a good spouse for keeps. Find a good job and keep it. Find a good house and keep it.", "Sounds like you’ve been reading “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” . It’ll take a while to find direction mate, I wanted to do as little as possible while reaping the benefits of my investments. Worked as a chef and a bunch of other things, so had a fair wedge saved up, got a small loan, bought a house outright for just for letting and invested the rest into loan notes and REITS, all passive income, better interest than the banks and thanks to the ever decreasing availability of housing and space the money invested into the property will grow over time making a nice wee nestegg for when I want to get a place of my own while paying me rent in the meantime. In other words, build passive streams of income (even something as small as selling vintage toys or comics), make investments not purchases and always always have a plan B through Z if something doesn’t pan out.", "Hard work and spending money wisely are musts. Sadly, equally important are connections. It's very hard to break into an industry and rise up if you don't know people along the way to mentor and support you", "That's a lie they tell you to make you think it's your own fault for being poor. It might have been true for a time, or in certain cases, but for the majority, poor is exactly where they want you to be. How can you earn enough money to have it work for you if basic necessities and costs take up 70+% of your monthly income?", "Only buy luxury items after you invest and place money in retirement. Esp when you are young, go without. Focus on your money and work your ass off, not saving (other than an emergency fund) but investing. Drive an old beat up car, invest in your education, invest in stocks, T Bills, other instruments, etc. and your retirement and the minimal to live; no gaming, no luxury items (unless they are used, cheap, or and/or free) until you are not poor any longer. \n\nSource: born and raised in (American) poverty and now earn six figures a year.", "Ok so straight up: \n\nThere are none. These methods of making money work for rich people are almost always either risky investments that can flop easily (like Crypto or Stocks), or they involve requirements, funding, and/or standards poor people don't have (Like the ability to buy excess property). \n\n\nYou can make money via their advice, but it almost always ends up failing. Some of these rich bastards even pitch scams to you (like crypto pump-and-dump scams) with the soul purpose of ensnaring you and taking what little money you have. \n\n\nYou want real financial advice? Go to a bank. Do not trust random strangers online.", "Like the other guy said, if you have some money to spare putting it in quality ETFs, investing directly in a safe business (likely as one of several investors), or buying and renting/flipping property are some of the better ways to get your money working for you.\n\nBut when you're poor, you need to accumulate some spare money (including an emergency fund you won't be touching) by getting your expenses as low as possible, then get a steady job with as much pay as possible (you need medical benefits, yearly or performance bonuses, yearly raises and some kind of retirement plan), then get any high interest debts paid down.\n\nTo get expenses down, Get a roommate and move somewhere with usable public transportation or if you must have a car get a used one for as cheap as possible as long as it doesn't look like it's about to fall apart. With a roommate it probably wouldn't hurt too much to split the cheapest internet package you can get but that's about the end of your luxuries. Get a cheap prepaid phone, don't eat out or if you must literal $1 menu only, cancel all those subscriptions. To maintain your sanity, do cheap hobbies like walking through Parks or borrowing books from the library.", "the simplest way to make money with money: don't pay rent, and buy property and rent it out. The paid rent pays the loans you took out to buy the property. \n\nThen sell the property at a profit when the loans are paid.\n\nHeads up though, you need to learn what are valuable assets worth buying, and knowing when to take loans.", "You know when you ask about effective diets and those annoying, self-righteous, science nerds say things like \"it's easy, you just need to take in fewer calories than you burn.\" Then they snort-laugh, adjust their glasses, and you give them a swirlie?\n\nThis is just like that, but in reverse. You need to bring in more.money than you spend. Just like exercise and eating right, there's two sides to this as well. You can bring in more money (raises, pro.otio s, job changes). It's not always possible, though keeping your eye out for opportunities is always a good idea. On the other side consider consumption. Mark Cuban claims he lived \"like a college student\" when he was starting out. He split rent, cooked cheap food at home instead of going out, never took a vacation, etc. Rent isn't an option for everyone, but there's always opportunities to cut back. \n\nConsider everything you do to be an indulgence. Going out to eat, paying for cable or Netflix (or both), drinking anything other than tap water, etc. Now consider what you could give up to save a few bucks. \n\nThat's as far as I got. It's annoying advice, but it works, and over a 40+ year long career, I assume it gets better. I'm ready for my swirlie now.", "Well first you have to have enough of that money (I.e. the “rich” part) to be able to set that up. So there ya go.", "To make your money work, you first need to pile up some money. A few tips\n1) know how much you're spending. You don't have to live like a joyless miser, but review your cr", "To make your money work for you you need money in the first place. Ex. Capital 》labor 》capital. Your surplus capital is being used to buy labor to produce more capital, that's the life of a capitalist. A laborer uses their labor to provide capital (which then gets used as living expenses). Ex. Labor 》capital 》expenses. This is a very disingenuous take on \"hustle culture\" thinking that there's a way to \"hack\" the system. The system has been in place for hundreds of years, if you could hack it more people would be doing it then it would've been stopped. For a capitalist system to work, there NEED to be people at the bottom to take the jobs noone else wants, or to scare the shit out of the middle class into keeping their jobs and not wanting to fall into poverty.", "This is not trite...I mean it: buy in bulk. You may have to go without for a few days first, so you have to plan. But this is a way to make the same money go further.", "The only way is to find a way to make more money. Its the greatest misconceptions in our society that there's a quick or easy way to make money. You need to find a way to make more money, second job, change of career, extreme savings strategies. If you want to \"make your money work for you\" you'll need like $100k to start investing before you can make any actual money in the stock market or through investments. \n\nTo be straight that just saying that rich people say to give us poor people the idea that its our fault we live paycheck to paycheck.", "Start investing in your company matched 401k when you are young. You'll retire a millionaire and won't miss the money each pay period.", "Some small scale example are you drive a lot of screws, so you buy a powered screw driver. You put things together a lot, you buy/make a jig.", "Save more of your income. Invest weekly in anything. People on the nihilist subs complain about marginal changes, but marginal changes are all any of us can hope for. There are a million ways to marginally affect your savings rate. Implement one at a time and see what is worth the sacrifice.", "Save as much as possible. Invest in the s&p 500 or other index funds. Reinvest dividends. Never sell. Get to the point where you van live off dividends.", "Read “The Richest Man In Babylon” for a fictional portrayal of a very basic personal finance framework. 70/20/10.\n\n10% of any earnings is saved, immediately.\n\n20% of earnings pay off any debt until there’s zero (and keep it that way).\n\n70% of earnings is what you live on - housing, food, transport, etc. Maximum.", "Own, don't rent. Most real estate increases in value. Even if you sell at the same price you get your money back and \"lived there for free\". Truly the most important", "Money doesn't work - people do work. So rich people \"let their money work\" usually by exploiting poor people. You know, Bezos flies to space while his workers pee in bottles.", "It boggles my mind why there are always some people in the comments of posts like this so desperate to remain poor. If you tried something and it didn't work, say it. Let's all learn from it.\n\n Just don't come here with the \"There are people who have more bills \" and other such excuses for why someone can never make it. Just because you are okay in the rat race doesn't mean everyone is. No matter what hypothetical situation you come up with as a clutch to why you can't make it, there were people in even worse situations who made it out. Keep your excuses to yourself and allow people who want to make it out to try.", "I'd settle for not actively fighting against me. I've managed to be in debt enough that I'm not actually able to accumulate anything as a result of cr", "Hello [permission777](/u/permission777), thank you for your submission! Unfortunately, it has been removed for the following reason:\n\nYour tip is a copy/repost of a previous tip or piggybacking off of a previous tip. Neither of these are allowed.\n\nIf you would like to appeal this decision [please feel free to contact the moderators here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FLifeProTips&subject=about%20my%20removed%20submission&message=I%27m%20writing%20to%20you%20about%20the%20following%20submission:%20https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/uvz748/lpt_request_rich_people_make_their_money_work_for/.%20%0D%0D). Do not repost without explicit permission from the moderators. Make sure you [read the rules](/r/lifeprotips/about/sidebar) before submitting. Thank you!", "First step before making your money work for you is having money. You do this by saving. Be like mister crab from spongebob save every penny, identify luxury from need. Live way below your means. You will suffer a few yrs. But its worth it. You'll see your savings grow. If possible save in an etf and not just a bank account.", "Don't do hard drugs, have unprotected sex or take out student loans destroying your chances before you even get to the starting line.", "Cheap/easy products don’t last as long. This applies to food. Cereal and milk are nice and easy but expensive and you’ll eat through faster then a sack of potato’s and some basic veggies.", "Look for passive income. \n\nLike atms, McDonald’s chains, laundry mats.\n\nAnything you can purchase and profit from without too much maintenance.", "How the hell has no body said start your own business? That was the first thing that came to my mind when reading the question. You don’t become wealthy by working for someone else" ]

[ 41, 29, 28, 20, 14, 10, 7, 7, 7, 6, 5, 5, 4, 4, 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, -1, -1 ]

[ "How to tell my mom that we don’t need to keep everything? My mom hardly throws anything away (from clothes and toys i don’t need, to kitchen appliances), and if I do it she gets mad. There are things we didn’t even opened because of how many products we have (even empty ones). There are obvious problems with keeping to much stuff, like a lot of dust, unorganized mess (not knowing where a thing is when you actually need it), and mental health. What are my options?", "How to tell my mom that we don’t need to keep everything? My mom hardly throws anything away (from clothes and toys i don’t need, to kitchen appliances), and if I do it she gets mad. There are things we didn’t even opened because of how many products we have (even empty ones). There are obvious problems with keeping to much stuff, like a lot of dust, unorganized mess (not knowing where a thing is when you actually need it), and mental health. What are my options?", "How to tell my mom that we don’t need to keep everything? My mom hardly throws anything away (from clothes and toys i don’t need, to kitchen appliances), and if I do it she gets mad. There are things we didn’t even opened because of how many products we have (even empty ones). There are obvious problems with keeping to much stuff, like a lot of dust, unorganized mess (not knowing where a thing is when you actually need it), and mental health. What are my options?", "How to tell my mom that we don’t need to keep everything? My mom hardly throws anything away (from clothes and toys i don’t need, to kitchen appliances), and if I do it she gets mad. There are things we didn’t even opened because of how many products we have (even empty ones). There are obvious problems with keeping to much stuff, like a lot of dust, unorganized mess (not knowing where a thing is when you actually need it), and mental health. What are my options?", "How to tell my mom that we don’t need to keep everything? My mom hardly throws anything away (from clothes and toys i don’t need, to kitchen appliances), and if I do it she gets mad. There are things we didn’t even opened because of how many products we have (even empty ones). There are obvious problems with keeping to much stuff, like a lot of dust, unorganized mess (not knowing where a thing is when you actually need it), and mental health. What are my options?", "How to tell my mom that we don’t need to keep everything? My mom hardly throws anything away (from clothes and toys i don’t need, to kitchen appliances), and if I do it she gets mad. There are things we didn’t even opened because of how many products we have (even empty ones). There are obvious problems with keeping to much stuff, like a lot of dust, unorganized mess (not knowing where a thing is when you actually need it), and mental health. What are my options?", "How to tell my mom that we don’t need to keep everything? My mom hardly throws anything away (from clothes and toys i don’t need, to kitchen appliances), and if I do it she gets mad. There are things we didn’t even opened because of how many products we have (even empty ones). There are obvious problems with keeping to much stuff, like a lot of dust, unorganized mess (not knowing where a thing is when you actually need it), and mental health. What are my options?", "How to tell my mom that we don’t need to keep everything? My mom hardly throws anything away (from clothes and toys i don’t need, to kitchen appliances), and if I do it she gets mad. There are things we didn’t even opened because of how many products we have (even empty ones). There are obvious problems with keeping to much stuff, like a lot of dust, unorganized mess (not knowing where a thing is when you actually need it), and mental health. What are my options?", "How to tell my mom that we don’t need to keep everything? My mom hardly throws anything away (from clothes and toys i don’t need, to kitchen appliances), and if I do it she gets mad. There are things we didn’t even opened because of how many products we have (even empty ones). There are obvious problems with keeping to much stuff, like a lot of dust, unorganized mess (not knowing where a thing is when you actually need it), and mental health. What are my options?" ]

[ "People hoard like that for mental/emotional reasons. It's not likely to be something you could logically convince her to change. You could get curious and ask her how she feels about having so much stuff. What she gets out of it. What her fears are if these things disappear. Bringing your acceptance and curiosity to her may start an interesting conversation.", "Hoarding disorder is unfortunately an extremely difficult to treat mental health issue. You can try to get her help but it's a tough long road. You should refuse to have trash in your own room. Get a lock for your door. Good luck.", "I'd just look through the stuff for items to sell.\nMy mum believes I am being entrepreneurial by doing this and she gets a cut of the payout.\n\nIf at the end of the month, if the selected items fail to sell,\nI'll let her know that I've price-checked the item already and there are simply no buyers.\nAKA, said items are garbage - I'll just chuck them under the guise that I'm pissed for having taking so much effort to market it.", "Every time I go back home, I secretly throw useless junk out. Don't feel bad, she'll never miss it :)", "I know your intentions ar good, but this is a losing battle. \n\nNo amount of logic is going to convince her to discard things as long as she continues to want to hang on to them.\n\nEven if you manage to get her to sell or discard some things, she will only replace them with more stuff.\n\nYou don't say how old you are, or what your situation is, but start making a plan for when you move out.\n\nYou are the only person you can control. Let go of this, for your own sake.", "You might want to read the book \"Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things\". It may give you some helpful insights.", "She’s as likely to be convinced as you would be into believing that her way of life is right.\n\nYou can’t convince anyone that doesn’t want to be convinced. You can only try to serve as a good example worthy of emulation. Most other avenues lead to arguments that ruin relationships.\n\nI would say, support her, work on your relationship first, and go from there.", "Hoarding is also a habit. For me I didnt throw away anything that could still be used, e.g. crappy gifts cos its a gift even when trash or old clothes. When you start throwing stuff away it feels so much better than keeping stuff you dont want cos its not broken.\n\nI'd honestly just have a talk about it with her cos theres only like 4 options:\n- Talk tell its a problem \n- Get stuck living like it\n- Throw stuff away\n- Influence her to throw stuff away or convince her to throw some stuff away", "Give her obvious reasons as to why\n\nHoarding things you don't need leads to more clutter and unhygienic households. There's an incident where a person lived with their child and didn't realize their child was dead for ***20 years*** because of all the clutter in the household. \n\nAsk her why she needs them, and if it's reasonable then let her keep it, if it doesn't sound reasonable tell her and keep making that point on why it's unreasonable to keep this one thing she doesn't need." ]

[ 43, 15, 10, 9, 6, 4, 2, 2, 2 ]

[ "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH.", "Any tips on getting settled with adult life? For example, maybe finding a place to live, or getting a debit/credit card. Im turning 18 in a few more months, and I just want to know any tips of how I can u know, be atleast a secure adult. I dont know much at all TBH." ]

[ "Oh jeez. Let's see. Things I wish I knew at 18.\n\nJust because you have money, doesn't mean you have to spend it.\n\nSaving accounts can help with that.\n\nCr", "Learn how to manage your finances, make sure you're putting away some money into savings every pay packet. \nStart your pension as early as possible.\nSet yourself goals and have a 5 year plan of where you want to be", "My biggest piece of advice is anytime you're looking for advice, just Google it and add the word reddit at the end. I guarantee someone has asked the question on Reddit and it has been answered in depth. I've done this for \"what to look for when looking at an apartment\" type questions. What questions should I ask a landlord, what questions should I ask in a job interview, etc. \n\nAlternatively, if your question is \"how do I do [X activity]\" that would require a video, simply google it and look for a YouTube video. This can range from things like \"how do I change a tire on X vehicle\" to \"how do I use conditional formatting in Excel to do THIS\" (Microsoft/excel actually has a lot of walkthroughs for anything like that). This is very useful if you work in a business setting with stereotypical boomers, you'll look like a whiz on the computer just by googling how to do things in the systems your employer utilizes.\n\nFrom personal experience it helped me to \"balance\" my checking account when using my debit card. I kept a ledger with all of my debits and cr", "If you are in the US, choose a cr", "When you rent, be sure to buy renters insurance. \n\nTry to get your first job either in Your field of interest or with skills that will transfer. \n\nMake sure you know the basic software programs used in your field. Lots of free classes on line. (Years ago, just knowing Excel let you earn $15/hr instead of $8. )\n\nEven if you don’t plan on going to college, sign up for a for cr", "Find someone who is successful (both financially but also emotionally) and talk with them regularly. Surround yourself with successful people, money matters but emotionally successful is most important. You become who you are around", "All good advice! Take care of your health eat right exercise. Take care of your teeth. Pay yourself first was easier for me than following a budget, but I followed Dave Ramsay financial advise for all else. Live lean financially, physically and emotionally. Step back mentally - do a review of your situation and choices every so often. If a friend were living your life, what advice would you give them? Have smart fun!", "Keys for when you get a job. Show up. On time. Do your work. Have a good attitude. Sounds obvious, but enough people don’t do this shit that it makes you stand out in a good way.", "Join the military learn a skill and how to be a adult. Go reserves if you don't want a daily committment. It will force adulthood on you.", "Try to find a cr", "Think about what you’re going to do career/jobwise. A 4 year degree and a lot of debt is worth it if you can make six figures (engineering, architecture, ect). Pick a major you won’t be miserable and a low unemployment rate. But working dead end/low paying jobs sucks a lot worse (unless it’s something you really love and can’t live without).\n\nDevelop a great work ethic.\n\nDon’t forget to have fun, on occasion, but don’t party too much.", "The single most intelligent thing I did was avoid unnecessary debt. Use your old phone,car, clothes, and so on. Buy decent tools and learn to fix things, the more the better. If you don't know what you want to learn, don't go to university yet. Work jobs that teach you things you're interested in learning or useful skills. I did several different trades and then went to school and now work in forestry promoting ecosystem health. Don't worry about what people think. Buying expensive things to impress ppl means showing off how much money you can owe the bank.", "Compound interest. The sooner you start taking advantage of it the less you have to put into it. \n\n\nThere's also this: https://www.youtube.com/c/learnhowtoadult/videos", "Always save a little something before you spend and pay bills. If you don’t, you find you have nothing to save. And most definitely RENTERS INSURANCE. Best 10 bucks a month u will sped. And typically get a discount if you bundle it in with your auto insurance.", "1) Open up a Roth IRA immediately and contribute to it regularly. \n2) Go to university if that appeals to you and you know what you want to study. Look up any scholarships and free financial aid if possible. \n3) Don't want to go to university? Learn a trade if you can.\n4) Don't want to learn a trade? Work for a bank. You can advance steadily there if you get on the right career path, abd the on the job training/benefits are awesome \n5) Don't borrow money for education if you can help it. Student loan debt is a killer. \n\nGood luck!\n\n" ]

[ 19, 10, 8, 8, 7, 5, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "What's the best way to wake someone up? It doesn't happen too often, but I'll sometimes find myself in a position where someone has asked me to wake them up, or I need to wake someone up for some reason. What's the best way to do it without annoying the person?", "What's the best way to wake someone up? It doesn't happen too often, but I'll sometimes find myself in a position where someone has asked me to wake them up, or I need to wake someone up for some reason. What's the best way to do it without annoying the person?", "What's the best way to wake someone up? It doesn't happen too often, but I'll sometimes find myself in a position where someone has asked me to wake them up, or I need to wake someone up for some reason. What's the best way to do it without annoying the person?", "What's the best way to wake someone up? It doesn't happen too often, but I'll sometimes find myself in a position where someone has asked me to wake them up, or I need to wake someone up for some reason. What's the best way to do it without annoying the person?", "What's the best way to wake someone up? It doesn't happen too often, but I'll sometimes find myself in a position where someone has asked me to wake them up, or I need to wake someone up for some reason. What's the best way to do it without annoying the person?", "What's the best way to wake someone up? It doesn't happen too often, but I'll sometimes find myself in a position where someone has asked me to wake them up, or I need to wake someone up for some reason. What's the best way to do it without annoying the person?" ]

[ "Depends on who you are waking up. I don't mind a phone call from a friend, sometimes my guy kisses my forehead till I wake up, the curtains being slightly opened, or my animal friends might wake me up as well. Just all depends. ", "Turn on the TV or radio\n\nOpen the curtains (assuming it's light out)\n\nAsk them an \"important\" question (For example: \"Last night, I lost my social security card somewhere, do you happen to know what may have happened to it\") \n\nGrab their toothbrush with toothpaste applied and hand it to them.\n\nStart the shower for them, tell them it'll be warm for them in a minute and to not waste water.\n\nSpritz them with water, or if you're evil, stick their hand in a bowl of water.", "There are people who get up easily and those who have a really hard time starting up. \nWith the first kind it doesn't matter how you wake them because they have no problem at all with it. \nWith the second kind it doesn't matter how you wake them because they will be pissed because sleepy time is over.\n\nSo all is well that ends well. ", "I would youtube the best tune to wake up to on YouTube and play that softly over my phone and leave the room for a moment. Or that may really weird people out. Too kind I am. ", "Click your fingers next to their ear, shake their foot, suck their dick.\n\n\nAll are good at waking someone up", "\nReally just different smells is the nicest way. People will wake up to the smell of their favorite foods (bacon). Opening a window brings in smells. Noises and touching are more intrusive." ]

[ 11, 5, 3, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]", "Stop biting my fingernails. Pics inside. I'm 14 and I've tried everything to stop. I really want to stop now before puberty is over and I'm an adult with this ridiculous habit hardwired into my brain. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/YgId1.jpeg) and [Here](http://i.imgur.com/6yFrW.jpeg) are some pictures [Warning slightly NSFL]" ]

[ "put nail polish remover on your nails. it tastes terrible and you can still taste it hours later, even after washing your hands.\n\nif you're a girl / if a lady nail-biter is reading this, paint your nails. I bite mine all the time unless their painted because getting paint chips in your mouth isn't the best feeling.", "mine too... worst part is Im a therapist and Ive helped plenty of people break their habits but I cant break my own", "What I did was I would paint my nails. All the time. Whether it was clear coat or a colored kind. That helped firstly because of the taste, and second, thinking that it could be poison I was ingesting. This is what stopped me. \n\nThen I thought of how worms are usually transferred. Their eggs are underneath the finger nail... You know the rest. Also, all of the germs that you are transmitting to your body... Yuck. \n\nMy dad tried sticking hot sauce on my finger nails. It didn't bode well when my eyes started burning. Yikes. ", "Put something gross on your fingers. Maybe if you don't like something like some kind of oil and grease and lotion. Then when you bite your finger nails you taste it and you're like \"ew why am I doing this?\" I personally didn't use this way to stop but my way was thinking about how bad my finger nails looked. No guy or girl wants to see that honestly it made me feel like a slob.", "I'm over twice your age and have always but mine. Pick and bite my cuticles too so I end up with bloody thumbs and fingers. A few years ago I met a girl on vacation and she worked at a nail place. Gave me a free manicure. I was totally embarrassed to let her do it, but agreed anyway. My nails weren't as short as yours but pretty bad. So she files them even, trims my dead cuticles and does some paraffin wax treatment. After that I felt guilty to mess it up and for a good 6 months I had beautiful nails that I actually filed to keep neat. For whatever reason I went back to old habits. Sadly, I know I'm biting them, but usually just keep going so reminders don't help. If your will power is weak try looking forward to a manicure. \n\nTL;DR - Schedule a manicure for a month out and don't screw it up. Afterwards just carry a flexible file to keep them nice and smooth. Buy one of those cheap 10? Sided foam files that file and buff. ", "I used to bite my nails all the time. I say just keep gum with you all the time. When you want to bite your nails just chew on a piece of gum and it will be all good. The thing that really helped me though was getting braces but I do not think getting braces just to stop biting your nails is the option ", "keep nail clippers in really handy places. every time you put your finger in your mouth... use them.", "i used to have that problem, then i got braces for 2 years and with my teeth hurting and the awkwardness of having them in the way broke my habit. i havent had any issues since", "i had seen a 'cure' for this on another reddit a while ago. I used to bite my nails, stopped for a while, and now im doing it again. \nMy tip: Use either athletic tape or a finger tip bandage on 2 to 3 fingers on each hand, the ones you bite the most, and keep it there. Try not to mess with it at all. That helped me and its what im doing now. also, keep clippers or a file on you at all times. if you can cut them smoothly you dont play with them or will feel the urge to bite them.", "My girlfriend is a really bad nail biter. Her strategy that has worked well for the last few month is to get acrylic nails put on. They are incredibly strongly attached so you wont bite them off, and they work as a sort of shield so that your nails can grow safely below them. \n\nBTW, I hope you are a girl", "I've struggled with this for years.\n\nMy thumbs and fingers are sore where I've pulled the cuticle back too far, my index fingernail is back so much that it's painful to type this.\n\nOn top of that, where I've bitten through my nails my tooth has chipped from being slammed together too much.\n\nHaving a nail cutter is useful, but I've realised that the reason why I bite them is when they feel a little bit sharp, or I have a hang nail, so a nail file helps too.\n\nThe whole issue supposedly stems from anxiety and stress, which makes sense, but cracking a habit is difficult.", "I used to bite my nails a lot so I just started cutting them regularly. Keeping them trim meant there wasn't much there for me to bite and I eventually stopped.\n\nKeep a set of clippers or nail file by your bed and tidy them up if they need it every night. Worked for me.", "I used to be so bad about biting my nails that I got two infections as a child. I finally stopped in my late teens after trying numerous strategies. What finally worked was to trim my nails as short as possible and then file them down even more. I would do this at least weekly so I never had anything to bite. Now I can let my nails grow without having any desire to chew on them, though I still trim and file them often since long nails bother me. Hope this works for you!", "I use to be a bad nail biter, but on top of that I had a terrible habit of biting my cheeks too... I managed to stop both not too long ago. The nails part was keeping my nails always painted (you can use a clear coat) it tastes nasty. And always keep them trimmed and filed. If there is a rough spot on your nail, FILE IT. Don't give into the temptation of biting or gnawing at it. Carry a nail file with you at all times. \n\nThese are my nails now. :) Good luck!\nhttp://i.imgur.com/1fzGd.jpg\n\n", "I think I may have a natural solution for you. Try sticking your fingers in your ear and getting wax on them. Wipe it off. So, later when you go to bite your nails all you will taste is a good ole heaping of earwax.", "Forget the tape, forget the nail polish. Go to a pet store and buy some bitter apple spray. Spray your fingernails (its clear so you'll forget it's there). This is used to spray furniture, shoes, etc to keep animals from chewing them - It's incredibly bitter, and trust me, you won't want to bite them.", "Acrylic nails. Either you stop or you have no more teeth . That sounded harsh let me add a smiley face :)", "I bite my nails.. always have, always will. Difference is my nails look very clean and even, nothing like yours. You couldnt tell by looking at my hands that I bite my nails. Hope you find some help, cause that shits nasty. " ]

[ 5, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, -1 ]

[ "How do I stop associating my windows PC desktop with gaming? I've historically always gamed on my windows PC, unfortunately it's kinda ingrained in me that when I sit down and see Windows and a monitor in front of me, I gotta open some form of client like Steam or League or Bnet and just start gaming. I have to use my windows PC for work tasks now, as it's cheapest to build your own PC and just run windows compared to buying a mac workstation or a laptop. However the association with gaming is still there. What can I do to combat this?", "How do I stop associating my windows PC desktop with gaming? I've historically always gamed on my windows PC, unfortunately it's kinda ingrained in me that when I sit down and see Windows and a monitor in front of me, I gotta open some form of client like Steam or League or Bnet and just start gaming. I have to use my windows PC for work tasks now, as it's cheapest to build your own PC and just run windows compared to buying a mac workstation or a laptop. However the association with gaming is still there. What can I do to combat this?" ]

[ "I’d make a second account on your PC that is only for work. That way you can still have your nice personalized computer for when you want to unwind and when you need to work you can use your work account which can be more professional and not have any access to games. I did that throughout high school and I’ve continued to do so through university and I find it useful. I even have a professional background so that way I’m not reminded of my hobbies. Just that I’m using the machine for school.", "First on the agenda: move your left hand one row towards to right, so you're resting it on RSDF (default position for blind typing with 10 finger system) instead of WASD (default gaming, duh)\n\nOther than that just spend a ton of time using it for other tasks until you associate it with those instead." ]

[ 7, 1 ]

[ "How to do job Interview, when you don't wanna lose your current job? Most of the times for interviews I have to go to another city. I don't wanna lose my current job by taking some days off, because what if I can't find a new job. I also don't want my current employer to find out I'm looking for a new job.", "How to do job Interview, when you don't wanna lose your current job? Most of the times for interviews I have to go to another city. I don't wanna lose my current job by taking some days off, because what if I can't find a new job. I also don't want my current employer to find out I'm looking for a new job.", "How to do job Interview, when you don't wanna lose your current job? Most of the times for interviews I have to go to another city. I don't wanna lose my current job by taking some days off, because what if I can't find a new job. I also don't want my current employer to find out I'm looking for a new job." ]

[ "This is a very common situation to be in; don't let you (legitimate!) anxiety overcomplicate it. First of all, what you're doing is rational and ethical. Don't feel that you're doing anything wrong. \n\nYou have no duty to disclose that you're interviewing elsewhere. Likewise, your potential employer should (SHOULD) understand the situation you're in because, again, it's common. The strategy of asking them to be flexible, as other commenters have said, makes sense.\n\nOne thing you don't want to do it lie at any stage. Then you will find yourself in a complicated situation. If you feel tempted to lie, most of the time you can just not say anything.", "I agree with asking them for flexibility. I mean, if they won't accommodate you for an interview are you really gonna want to work for this company?", "First off, be upfront with the interviewer about your situation. Tell them: I don't have a lot of flexibility to travel during normal working hours, would you be willing to meet on the weekend or have a skype interview? If not and travel time and expense is a concern, it's perfectly reasonable to ask for them to fly you out for the interview itself. Just be honest about your situation and be up front about things. Worst case you try and organize back to bAck days off at your job by switching shifts, taking vacation etc. just tell your boss (if they really want to know) you have a trip with friends or something come up and you want to go. " ]

[ 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "how to set a personal goal? What steps do you need to take to set a goal and realistic steps to achieve it. Is it something you need to write down? Is there an app for that?", "how to set a personal goal? What steps do you need to take to set a goal and realistic steps to achieve it. Is it something you need to write down? Is there an app for that?" ]

[ "The SMART acronym is what a lot of people and businesses use when setting goals.\n\n**Specific**: You need to use language that will clearly identify when you will be successful in meeting your goal. \n\nGOOD: I will lose X pounds. <-- This has a \"yes or no\" state to determine if you met it.\n\nBAD: I will lose some weight. <-- What does \"some\" mean? \n\n**Measurable**: It needs to be something that you can actually measure with a number\n\nGOOD: I will call mom once a week to check in. <-- A tickmark on the calendar tells you you have been successful.\n\nBAD: I will call mom more often. <-- What does \"more often\" mean? Fuzzy, not clear.\n\n**Actionable**: It needs to be something you can control and do yourself. It can't rely on other people.\n\nGOOD: I will beat all the deadlines for me submitting my job's expenses, status reports, and personal review input this year. <-- I am in control\n\nBAD: I will get a promotion at work. <-- Others give me a promotion, so I don't control it.\n\n**Realistic**: It needs to be achievable\n\nGOOD: I will lose a pound a week for ten weeks. <-- Healthy and doable, with a little room for the occasional treat\n\nBAD: I will lose ten pounds of weight by next Friday. <-- Doable but unhealthy and I'll just binge and get it all back once I'm done.\n\n**Time-contained**: It needs to have a specific deadline, and even better, staged deadlines so you can see if you're making progress.\n\nGOOD: I will have repainted the house by the end of the year. By the end of October, I'll have the main living areas - kitchen and living room and entrance - done. Bedrooms need to be done by December. <-- I can measure how successful I'm trending halfway through.\n\nBAD: I'll paint the inside of the house. <-- ...and it never gets done.\n\n-------------\n\nThe \"SMART\" acronym has a number of variations but it looks something like the above most of the time when you're setting goals. ", "Picture the results. Where do you want to be? Put something up to remind you of what you are aiming for. Think about it. Own it. \nSet markers. \nThe best thing is if you can make yourself work 100% towards something for a few months then your personal investment in it can begin to overcome your thoughts of stopping. " ]

[ 5, 1 ]

[ "How to stop a light table from sliding on hardwood so easily My coffee table slides when I rest my feet against it", "How to stop a light table from sliding on hardwood so easily My coffee table slides when I rest my feet against it" ]

[ "Use this matting stuff you can cut to size that chefs use to stop chopping boards sliding on work surfaces. You can glue a small circle under each leg. It's dirt cheap as well and useful for loads of stuff. It's like rubber netting kind of.", "Look up anti skid pads. They sell them at home improvement stores. \n\nhttp://m.homedepot.com/p/Shepherd-2-in-Anti-Skid-Pads-8-Pack-9971/202514361" ]

[ 2, 2 ]

[ "First job advice? As I am graduating soon and entering the job market, does anyone have any tips from the first job they had, and any job advice in general?", "First job advice? As I am graduating soon and entering the job market, does anyone have any tips from the first job they had, and any job advice in general?", "First job advice? As I am graduating soon and entering the job market, does anyone have any tips from the first job they had, and any job advice in general?", "First job advice? As I am graduating soon and entering the job market, does anyone have any tips from the first job they had, and any job advice in general?", "First job advice? As I am graduating soon and entering the job market, does anyone have any tips from the first job they had, and any job advice in general?", "First job advice? As I am graduating soon and entering the job market, does anyone have any tips from the first job they had, and any job advice in general?", "First job advice? As I am graduating soon and entering the job market, does anyone have any tips from the first job they had, and any job advice in general?" ]

[ "Fake it till you make it! Everyone feels like they don’t know what they’re doing at first, just keep learning and be confident you can provide value", "Make good first impressions... be obedient to your boss, give short and clear answers, talk loud and clear. Be kind to co-workers, say \"good morning\" and all of that. Be open and willing to learn from co-workers and boss... when they are explaining to you what and how to do, listen well and confirm visibly that you understand them.", "Learn the job of the person next to you, below you, and above you. Being indispensable isn't about being really good at a narrow skill set, its about being able to perform regardless of circumstances.", "New and young workers are statistically more likely to experience a workplace injury or illness. This can be attributed to inexperience and exuberance. Take your safety instructions seriously. Safety programs are mandated by law but not all organizations follow them diligently, I hope your company has a good program. Stay safe!", "You’re not always going to like all aspects of job, everyone you work with, or even your boss. Do not quit because of this unless you already have another job lined up or you absolutely cannot possibly stand being there any longer. Job hopping doesn’t look good! \n\nIf your job offers to let you go home early because it’s slow or there isn’t much to do (voluntary time off - VTO), do not be the first to leave, if at all. Constantly being the first out the door doesn’t look good when it comes time for moving around in the company or getting raises, and neither does leaving just because it’s offered. \n\nAlways be learning! Look for more ways you can expand your knowledge in your area and eventually outside it. It helps you in understanding how the various roles in the company work with each other and betters your performance in your current position. This also makes you look better when up for a promotion because you already have a more in depth understanding of the job.", "Learn as much as you can - cross train and ask to get involved in different aspects of the business.\n\nBe resourful and innovative, but not at the cost of efficiency or accuracy.\n\nPull your weight and help others where you can.\n\nLearn who the toxic employee(s) is(are) and avoid them - every company has one.", "Avoid toxic employees - don't be a victim of guilt by association.\n\nBe concerned with your own performance, not everyone else's.\n\nBe kind to everyone. Get a reputation for being kind and helpful but don't kill yourself trying to help others. Remember their poor planning does not make it an emergency for you.\n\nThe best way to learn sometimes is listening when others talk. I learned the most listening to those more experienced than me discuss situations and how they handled them.\n\nFind a mentor. Someone who will give you good advice and stop you from making a serious mistake.\n\nMaintain a work life balance. \n\nRemember that no one cares about your career or goals as much as you do. Play an active role in developing your skills to reach the next level." ]

[ 10, 6, 5, 3, 2, 2, 2 ]

[ "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language.", "how to stay motivated in gym for more than a month Im 28, and im fat (199 lbs) ive tried the gym several times, about 5 times, when i was 15 for a month, 18 less than a month, 22 1.5 months and 26 for 2 months (theresults were awesome in 60 days only) and this time 9 days so far.\n\nI had all kind of excuses to skip gym before (school, money, time, health issues, etc) this time i have a lot of free time, i payed already for 3 months in advance, me and my roomie started the same day, diet+gym combo. But i feel like all this effort is going to be a waste of time if i cant get to stay past the 3 months.\n\nI set long run benchmarks already (perfect abs, 150 or less lbs, etc) i want to stay this time for atleast a year, or permanent if possible.\n\nAny pro tip from personal experience that you can share? Anything will be greatly apreciated. Trust me, i really need the motivation this time. \n\nSorry for the bad english, is not my native language." ]

[ "Over the past 4 years (I'm now 20) I have lost more than 180 lbs during 3 periods I was on diet. Now I am 2 months in my 4th period so I pretty much have a huge experience in loosing weight. The hardest thing was to get motivated to go to the gym, but you have to understand that actually there is NOTHING to get motivated about - you just have to GO to this training. There will NEVER be a day you have mood for a training, there will NEVER be a day when you'll feel ready and energetic for a training, there will NEVER be a day you will be motivated enough to jump out of the bed and go training, you just have to go and I promise you - the motivation comes AFTER the training, when despite all of your fucking excuses you have went, then you will feel motivated to continue. Motivation simply can not come before a training but it surely does after it.\n\nTldr: JUST DO IT!", "If at all possible, match up with a buddy that frequents the gym. Having someone hold you accountable is a huge (at least in my experiences) motivating factor for just getting there, which is the majority of the battle. Gotta treat it like getting up in the morning and brushing your teeth. Eliminate the choice between going and not going and work it into your daily routine! GOOD LUCK! ", "I'm about to start doing this so don't have first hand knowledge, but I've heard it works wonders for motivation. Download a really interesting podcast like Stuff You Should Know and *only* be allowed to listen to it when you're working out. If you find something that really interests you, it'll be good motivation so you can keep listening, and you'll stay working out until it's over. \n \nAlso the app Run! Zombies looks really cool, albeit creepy, if you're into that! Mostly used for outdoor running but the cool thing is the \"sprint\" part of the app just means 'go faster than you are currently going' meaning it's good for all fitness levels", "Let it be the first thing you think about when you wake up. Make it the first commitment of the day and let it excite you - it has to excite you.", "Keep track of your progress, and you'll see you are having results every week. When it's time to go to the gym, just go. Don't skip. A bad day at the gym is better than no day at the gym. Have balance. No need to diet and exercise to the max. Maybe just start with one or the other. Crash diets and crash workouts are not sustainable. Lastly, and most importantly, remember to love yourself. You are doing this for you, and your making a conscious decision to make a positive change in your life. I can't count how many times I tried to quit cigarettes before it finally stuck. Make this the one, and if you fall off the wagon, make sure it's just for a short time and get right back to it. You can do this!", "I would stop going to the gym and start playing weekly sports or do triathlon training. These work for me because they trick me past the routine through variety and socialization.", "work hard and get results, this will motivate you to stay at the gym.\n\nfunnily enough, it takes 3 months to turn anything into a habit.\n\nstick at it for 3 months and not only will you have results that will make you want to carry on, you'll have a new life style.\n\ngood luck", "i had many gym memberships in the past that i just never used until i went in with a workout plan. i was never into weightlifting or any of that stuff. then, a friend of mine gave me a couple of good starting workouts and pointed me towards some info on weightlifting. that was a few years ago and i've been working out consistently since then. i have had a few months where i'd fall off the wagon, but i've gotten back on each time.\n\nso, i'd recommend doing some research and figuring out what you want to do. weight loss doesn't come from the gym, but from controlling your eating. you don't even need to go on any special diet, but just monitor and control your calories with something like my fitness pal.\n\nthen, focus on your progress. a lifting program like Stronglifts is great because it is all built on incremental progress and is great for a beginner.", "aside from all the typical responses you've been given, one I would say that really helps to pass the time is music. without music working out is much more of a burden for me, but if i can drown it out with some tunes and 'amp' myself up before sets with some music I find myself much more motivated. ", "Two things that motivate me:\n\n1) Get yourself a white board 4 month calendar and hang it up. Fill it out with the current month and next 3 months - use it each day to log down when you have been or are supposed to go the gym with any milestones e.g. ran 2 miles in x:x\n\n2) Get a notebook and create 2-3 full workout routines (read online or pm me) then whenever you go to the gym, fill out a page for the day and with the routine. Keep a note of sets/reps/weight or time/machine/effort\n\nThe calendar when hung up where you live is a reminder and motivator in itself and the notebook helps not only monitor what you are doing but gives you confidence of what you have done and more that you can do.", "Try posting on [/r/loseit](https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/), there are also other great fitness subs. The best tip is don't go too fast, keep a schedule you can maintain, change your habits forever instead of doing a horrible diet and being unhappy. All you have to do is eat less calories than you spend. Read the loseit FAQ, calculate how many calories you can eat and do it. The gym is secondary, really. Eating is where the big deal is.", "This might sound stupid and materialistic, but, every few weeks or so, buy something new to supplement your workouts. Maybe a new gym shirt, or a new pair of running or lifting shoes, even socks. My logic being that when you work out you have an objective in mind. That objective is to see yourself differently whether it is more fit, with less weight, healthier, sexier, whatever it may be. And those little purchases will help you see yourself differently and enable you to feel differently about yourself. And then when you can comfortably wear a shirt size smaller than usual, you will know that you are making progress and you'll feel like your hardwork is paying off. On days where I don't feel like I could get my best workout or if I feel like I'm too tired, or whatever excuse I try to convince myself of, I remind myself that my mind will give up far sooner than my body will, and that showing up, even if just for a treadmill walk/ light ab session is still showing up and overcoming the want to give into lethargy. Sometimes being able to say \"I still did it, I still went\" is just enough motivation to head into tomorrow with a different outlook than you had yesterday. ", "Same issue here. I joined on 1st of January (full HD resolution) and could continue till march. I no longer crave for gym. Any Pro tips? Please?! ", "Personally, Ive found that *time* is really important. It varies person to person but there's [a specific time where you're physically most alert.](http://www.proactivesleep.com/images/BodilyCyclesCircadian.jpg). Getting a good nights sleep is also important, it's a good thing that a good workout has been linked with better nights sleep.", "Non-scale victories count just as much. Down 40 lbs since high school, have been stuck in the 130 range for about a year now, but I can run and lift way heavier stuff, and eat a lot more without gaining weight since I am exercising frequently.", "My biggest advice is to think about the long term. Many people get frustrated when they don't see much change in the first month or two (wether it be muscle gains or weight loss). Biggest thing that helped me starting out was finding a program and sticking with it and going to the gym no matter what. The work you put in will only really pay off in a few months outside of the initial changes you might see. Find a good plan that fits your desires and play the long game because that's what all of the other jacked guys in the gym have done.", "Motivation is temporary. Start to think long term. Use different indicator to record your progress: weight difference, amount of minutes you can run on certain speed, amount of push-ups etc. Use it to compare with your future-self and past-self results. \n\n\"If you cannot measure it - it does not exist\" someone said. It will help you to see the value of each step (diet, exercise). It will be like \"Okay, I can skip this workout today, but I would need to pay a certain price - slowed progresses or even reversed\"\n\nStart measure ", "Motivation is not something reliable.\nInstead of making your decision to go the gym or go for a jog while in bed, make that afterwards when you're up and about. Context is more important than motive anyways.", "Literally there's nothing stopping you. Fuck motivation, get up and go to the gym. Do it if you hate it, do it if you love it. If you find yourself scrolling Facebook or reddit endlessly, just shut the computer, put on your shoes, and go to the gym. You don't have to be pumped up or motivated, you just have to go.", "Get a buddy to go to the gym with you. Someone who will hold your feet to the fire and get you there or give you endless shit if you don't. Even an online friend who just asks you if you went today might work. \n\nFull disclosure, I have not actually done this myself, it just makes sense to me and seems like it would work. ", "Force yourself to go everyday for 30 days. Spend an hour doing whatever, gradually increasing your intensity. After that it starts to become a habit. After a year you feel weak when you don't make it to the gym, almost guilty for not going. It's really not that hard, it just takes self control. Dieting is harder, but if you eat smart it isn't really that bad. ", "Fear helps. \n \nPreventing diabetes (which I have a serious genetic disposition for) is my motivation.", "Discipline >> Motivation\n\nMake your workouts non-negotiable. Schedule them and give them the same priority as you would any other important appointment. Go even when you don't feel like it or feel 'unmotivated' (unless you're genuinely sick).\n\nKeep it up and in a few months it will be a habit, and it doesn't take any motivation to do a habit.", "*Focus on feeling better before looking better.\n\n*Get good sleep.\n\n*If you cheat a snack do it straight after your workout so it can burn off.\n\n*Make sure you and your roommate drag each other to the gym that support helps a lot.\n\n*Focus on form, don't exhaust yourself to finish a set amount of reps if you have to sacrifice good form, it tires you and doesn't help you get fit.\n\nThis is all advice I have been given, I myself am quite clueless as I only started out at the gym about a month ago and I train with my friend who has been going for a while.\n\nMy advice: \n\n*Talk to people who know what they're doing\n\n*Train with your friend(s)\n\n*Gym staff or gym goers are in my experience both friendly and helpful." ]

[ 15, 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "A way to silence a rumbling stomach Before anybody says it, I can't eat in a silent classroom and I've already tried drinking plenty of water to replace my hunger. When sitting, I've tried tightening my abs but that doesn't always work. I'm usually always in a silent classroom and exams are coming up. Any tips to silence/get rid of a rumbling stomach?", "A way to silence a rumbling stomach Before anybody says it, I can't eat in a silent classroom and I've already tried drinking plenty of water to replace my hunger. When sitting, I've tried tightening my abs but that doesn't always work. I'm usually always in a silent classroom and exams are coming up. Any tips to silence/get rid of a rumbling stomach?", "A way to silence a rumbling stomach Before anybody says it, I can't eat in a silent classroom and I've already tried drinking plenty of water to replace my hunger. When sitting, I've tried tightening my abs but that doesn't always work. I'm usually always in a silent classroom and exams are coming up. Any tips to silence/get rid of a rumbling stomach?", "A way to silence a rumbling stomach Before anybody says it, I can't eat in a silent classroom and I've already tried drinking plenty of water to replace my hunger. When sitting, I've tried tightening my abs but that doesn't always work. I'm usually always in a silent classroom and exams are coming up. Any tips to silence/get rid of a rumbling stomach?", "A way to silence a rumbling stomach Before anybody says it, I can't eat in a silent classroom and I've already tried drinking plenty of water to replace my hunger. When sitting, I've tried tightening my abs but that doesn't always work. I'm usually always in a silent classroom and exams are coming up. Any tips to silence/get rid of a rumbling stomach?", "A way to silence a rumbling stomach Before anybody says it, I can't eat in a silent classroom and I've already tried drinking plenty of water to replace my hunger. When sitting, I've tried tightening my abs but that doesn't always work. I'm usually always in a silent classroom and exams are coming up. Any tips to silence/get rid of a rumbling stomach?", "A way to silence a rumbling stomach Before anybody says it, I can't eat in a silent classroom and I've already tried drinking plenty of water to replace my hunger. When sitting, I've tried tightening my abs but that doesn't always work. I'm usually always in a silent classroom and exams are coming up. Any tips to silence/get rid of a rumbling stomach?", "A way to silence a rumbling stomach Before anybody says it, I can't eat in a silent classroom and I've already tried drinking plenty of water to replace my hunger. When sitting, I've tried tightening my abs but that doesn't always work. I'm usually always in a silent classroom and exams are coming up. Any tips to silence/get rid of a rumbling stomach?", "A way to silence a rumbling stomach Before anybody says it, I can't eat in a silent classroom and I've already tried drinking plenty of water to replace my hunger. When sitting, I've tried tightening my abs but that doesn't always work. I'm usually always in a silent classroom and exams are coming up. Any tips to silence/get rid of a rumbling stomach?" ]

[ "I was about to suggest all of those things...good thing I read your submission haha. I also have this problem in most of my 80min long classes. The best thing is to invest in portable snacks. I ride a bike so I can't take advantage of eating in the car on the way. If you bring snacks then you can have those just before class or eat a satisfying meal just before going to class. Also...smoothies.", "A sip of sugary fluid will kill a rumbling stomach (and hunger pangs) almost instantly. It's quite astonishing.", "not sure if this works for everyone, but i've found that bending over slightly when you feel it coming on helps a little. ", "What works well for me is to put my non-writing arm over my stomach. Whenever I feel a rumble coming, I press down on it (not hard enough to hurt, obviously).", "This happens to me too. Most of the time I can feel the gurgle coming on and if you time it right, instead of tightening your abs, suck your stomach in as hard and as much as you can until the feeling passes. Maybe even use your hands to squeeze your stomach in subtly. ", "If you can, try the water again but fill your bottle up with mostly ice to make sure it stays super cold. Ice cold water will \"shock\" your stomach for awhile from grumbling for food.", "I had the exact same problem in my high school class... The same time every single day. So embarrassing. What I did to get rid of it was to make sure you poop beforehand... Then drink water and eat some food. Good luck!", "Eat something low GI before class, that will solve you for AT LEAST 90 minutes. The sugar/sweetened beverage works also. Final scenario would be an antacid tablet. works for me anyways. ", "If you can manage it, have a slice of white bread with a ton of creamy peanut butter lavished on it. \n\nLike seriously, slather that bitch up in a half inch of Peanut butter. It'll fill you up for hours\n" ]

[ 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0 ]

[ "How do you actively take steps to improve and correct your posture? I am not a hunchback per se, but I do sit in front of a computer and books for a majority of my time. I find myself constantly having to correct my hunched back and shoulders, so what tips do you have?", "How do you actively take steps to improve and correct your posture? I am not a hunchback per se, but I do sit in front of a computer and books for a majority of my time. I find myself constantly having to correct my hunched back and shoulders, so what tips do you have?", "How do you actively take steps to improve and correct your posture? I am not a hunchback per se, but I do sit in front of a computer and books for a majority of my time. I find myself constantly having to correct my hunched back and shoulders, so what tips do you have?", "How do you actively take steps to improve and correct your posture? I am not a hunchback per se, but I do sit in front of a computer and books for a majority of my time. I find myself constantly having to correct my hunched back and shoulders, so what tips do you have?", "How do you actively take steps to improve and correct your posture? I am not a hunchback per se, but I do sit in front of a computer and books for a majority of my time. I find myself constantly having to correct my hunched back and shoulders, so what tips do you have?", "How do you actively take steps to improve and correct your posture? I am not a hunchback per se, but I do sit in front of a computer and books for a majority of my time. I find myself constantly having to correct my hunched back and shoulders, so what tips do you have?", "How do you actively take steps to improve and correct your posture? I am not a hunchback per se, but I do sit in front of a computer and books for a majority of my time. I find myself constantly having to correct my hunched back and shoulders, so what tips do you have?", "How do you actively take steps to improve and correct your posture? I am not a hunchback per se, but I do sit in front of a computer and books for a majority of my time. I find myself constantly having to correct my hunched back and shoulders, so what tips do you have?", "How do you actively take steps to improve and correct your posture? I am not a hunchback per se, but I do sit in front of a computer and books for a majority of my time. I find myself constantly having to correct my hunched back and shoulders, so what tips do you have?" ]

[ "I found this on reddit year+ ago, activated it in my life, and saw results. http://youtu.be/LT_dFRnmdGs", "I have a 2 year old, started running every day with her in a jogging stroller. It has totally corrected my posture because it has forced me to stand up straight while in motion (the way I have to push the stroller squares my shoulders and back) and has reinforced the muscles of my back through exercise. So...have a baby, buy a stroller, take up jogging?", "I've been working closely with an ergonomics professional for the last month or so at my job and sit in on over half of the training sessions she provides faculty and staff. She specifically covers people working in an office at a desk. Everything at your workstation should be centered around your keyboard. Your reach to it should be comfortable (not with outstretched or scrunched arms). When typing, be careful not to have your wrists/hands at a positive (upward facing) angle. This can irritate your wrists and can bring on arthritis. Your hands/wrists should either be flat/straight or at a negative (slightly downward facing) angle. Your chair height should be one that puts your femurs parallel to the ground. Otherwise, blood will either begin to pool in your hips or your legs and feet. You also do not want to cross your legs. It is best to move them slightly throughout the day, but keeping the same parallel femur orientation. Your chair should also support the natural curvature to your spine. Your spine isn't naturally straight, so it is important to have a good ergonomics chair designed to form to the natural shape of your back (HumanScale has some really good options). The last important piece is the positioning of your monitor(s). Ideally, you will have the monitor(s) on an arm(s). This allows you to be able to position them in more ways than a traditional stand. You want the monitors approximately an arm's length away form you. Your eyes should essentially be centered with the center of your monitor(s). You want the minimum amount of head movement as possible. Obviously there is a lot more on proper ergonomics, but this is a good place to start to begin to make changes.", "Some tips [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQqgf8kB6R8). He looks like a meathead but usually has some pretty solid advice.", "Set a timer on your phone every 30 minutes to consciously correct your posture. Shoulder's back, chest out.", "Pretend like you're wearing a suit or a tailored outfit. A lot of them force you to stand straight. I always pretend like I am wearing a suit and people notice it. You feel more confident, your back feels better, you get more oxygen flow to your brain, people think your important or interesting and women notice, big time.", "Paddling a surfboard was the best thing that happened to my posture. I used to get comments to stand up straight. With only a summer of surfing I still get get complimented on my posture. I haven't surfed in years. \n\nIt isn't the surfing part but the position you take while paddling that did the trick. So you could get a boogie board and paddle around a pool if you wanted to. Although it was the surfing part that kept me motivated.", "Face pulls are a great exercise to improve posture if your into gym work. Strengthening the back in general will improve your posture by balancing out with the normally more developed chest muscles which tend to pull the shoulders forward.", "Don't have problems with posture myself, but saw this in another thread:\n\nWrite a small P on your hand, and whenever you see the P check if your posture is right." ]

[ 9, 4, 3, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How do you remove sticker glue from clear plastic..? http://i.imgur.com/lq3rn.jpg\n\nNeed a response fairly soon, this is a birthday present for a friend, and we need to give it to him tomorrow.\n\nI've tried using a wet wipe, and wet kitchen roll, but neither have worked.\n\nThanks :)", "How do you remove sticker glue from clear plastic..? http://i.imgur.com/lq3rn.jpg\n\nNeed a response fairly soon, this is a birthday present for a friend, and we need to give it to him tomorrow.\n\nI've tried using a wet wipe, and wet kitchen roll, but neither have worked.\n\nThanks :)", "How do you remove sticker glue from clear plastic..? http://i.imgur.com/lq3rn.jpg\n\nNeed a response fairly soon, this is a birthday present for a friend, and we need to give it to him tomorrow.\n\nI've tried using a wet wipe, and wet kitchen roll, but neither have worked.\n\nThanks :)", "How do you remove sticker glue from clear plastic..? http://i.imgur.com/lq3rn.jpg\n\nNeed a response fairly soon, this is a birthday present for a friend, and we need to give it to him tomorrow.\n\nI've tried using a wet wipe, and wet kitchen roll, but neither have worked.\n\nThanks :)", "How do you remove sticker glue from clear plastic..? http://i.imgur.com/lq3rn.jpg\n\nNeed a response fairly soon, this is a birthday present for a friend, and we need to give it to him tomorrow.\n\nI've tried using a wet wipe, and wet kitchen roll, but neither have worked.\n\nThanks :)", "How do you remove sticker glue from clear plastic..? http://i.imgur.com/lq3rn.jpg\n\nNeed a response fairly soon, this is a birthday present for a friend, and we need to give it to him tomorrow.\n\nI've tried using a wet wipe, and wet kitchen roll, but neither have worked.\n\nThanks :)", "How do you remove sticker glue from clear plastic..? http://i.imgur.com/lq3rn.jpg\n\nNeed a response fairly soon, this is a birthday present for a friend, and we need to give it to him tomorrow.\n\nI've tried using a wet wipe, and wet kitchen roll, but neither have worked.\n\nThanks :)" ]

[ "It depends on the plastic. If it's PP, PE or PET you can use nail polish remover or acetone. But don't use it on PS, ABS or PMMA, they will dissolve. In these cases, you have to try methylated spirit, it's less aggressive but it doesn't always dissolve the sticker glue.", "Soak a cloth in WD-40 and let it sit on the area for a few minutes. then wipe it away with a clean cloth.", "Smear some peanut butter on it, come back 5 minutes later and rub it off.\n\nWe remove sticky labels from laptop monitors at work, this is non toxic and works all the time.\n\n", "lighter fluid has always worked for me! pour a little bit on your finger or onto a paper towel and it should get the goo right off", "Paint thinner or acetone from my personal experience. Dab a little bit on a rag and rub the glue off. If you don't have either in the house, a high % rubbing alcohol may loosen up the adhesive as well. Also, using a razor blade to scrape off the glue will help do wonders as well. Good luck!", "Cover the glue with cellotape and heat with a hairdryer. Pull the cellotape off - removes the glue with it.", "I use [this](http://www.amazon.com/Desolv-It-Citrus-Solution-12-6oz/dp/B000BQWVTQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352919894&sr=8-1&keywords=disolve+it), it works magically and smells like lemons. Just spray some on a paper towel and it rubs right off." ]

[ 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 0 ]

[ "How do I increase my reading speed? I feel that, even though I'm in college, my reading speed is slower than average. This seems especially true when I'm reading through a biochem chapter and I'm focusing too much on all of the different chemicals and how they react with each other.", "How do I increase my reading speed? I feel that, even though I'm in college, my reading speed is slower than average. This seems especially true when I'm reading through a biochem chapter and I'm focusing too much on all of the different chemicals and how they react with each other.", "How do I increase my reading speed? I feel that, even though I'm in college, my reading speed is slower than average. This seems especially true when I'm reading through a biochem chapter and I'm focusing too much on all of the different chemicals and how they react with each other.", "How do I increase my reading speed? I feel that, even though I'm in college, my reading speed is slower than average. This seems especially true when I'm reading through a biochem chapter and I'm focusing too much on all of the different chemicals and how they react with each other." ]

[ "That's pretty normal. Reading technical stuff that is hard to grasp takes more time than pleasure reading. Especially if you must retain everything.", "I found a pretty interesting concept you might be interested in that I used a few times. There's a range of apps/programs which you can use which - to my very limited knowledge - help you eliminate the 'reading voice' inside your head and condition your brain to read faster. If you take a look on google for something called 'Spreeder' you'll find what I'm talking about. What you could do, is practice speed reading using the program for a while.\n\nIf you'd like to apply it to your studies, I used to download an e-book of whatever book I was studying and put whatever section I had to study through Spreeder, I'd be able to read the chapter 2-3 times in the space it'd take me to read it at normal speed once. I'd manage to grasp the concept and then revert to reading the book version in detail and thinking my way through it.\n\nAlso, for me, when it comes to technical words and so on, I like to briefly understand the technical concept behind those words or their origins, it stops me having to think about \"what was that word again? / which one was that?\"", "Try pretending that you can read faster. You just might find that you can read much faster than you think. ", "I would suggest looking up a skill called speed-reading, i don't have time to explain it here but it is great :)" ]

[ 4, 3, 0, 0 ]

[ "How to bring back flavor of Mac and Cheese after a day in the Fridge? Usually when I eat left overs of Mac and Cheese it tastes nothing like what it did 8 hours ago.", "How to bring back flavor of Mac and Cheese after a day in the Fridge? Usually when I eat left overs of Mac and Cheese it tastes nothing like what it did 8 hours ago.", "How to bring back flavor of Mac and Cheese after a day in the Fridge? Usually when I eat left overs of Mac and Cheese it tastes nothing like what it did 8 hours ago." ]

[ "What usually helps me is to **eat it all in one sitting, even when I have no company.**\n\nI do not however, recommend this for the weak or small of stomach.", "What usually helps for me is some margarine, milk, and Kraft American Cheese Singles. Microwave and stir until gooey. ", "reheat on a skillet, and use heavy whipping cream to keep it moist while warming. \n\nI'm assuming you are speaking of made from scratch mac n cheese still works with the kraft stuff as well, also, add some extra shredded cheese to it." ]

[ 8, 6, 3 ]

[ "How can you cope with simultaneously feeling happy about past events while also feeling sad that they are indeed, past events? It's pretty much a nostalgic feeling I believe. When looking back I tend to only focus on the good bits and thereby create a longing inside of me for that time/those kind of times.. I'm fully aware that this is only partially 'true' as the 'bad times' are being ignored and that the longing is purely focused on a distorted, or partial, past. \nYet through it all I'm glad everything happened and has taught me what it has.\n\nSo, in short, how can I be simultaneously happy about all of my past and also allow for the, at times selective, nostalgic longing to return to it?", "How can you cope with simultaneously feeling happy about past events while also feeling sad that they are indeed, past events? It's pretty much a nostalgic feeling I believe. When looking back I tend to only focus on the good bits and thereby create a longing inside of me for that time/those kind of times.. I'm fully aware that this is only partially 'true' as the 'bad times' are being ignored and that the longing is purely focused on a distorted, or partial, past. \nYet through it all I'm glad everything happened and has taught me what it has.\n\nSo, in short, how can I be simultaneously happy about all of my past and also allow for the, at times selective, nostalgic longing to return to it?", "How can you cope with simultaneously feeling happy about past events while also feeling sad that they are indeed, past events? It's pretty much a nostalgic feeling I believe. When looking back I tend to only focus on the good bits and thereby create a longing inside of me for that time/those kind of times.. I'm fully aware that this is only partially 'true' as the 'bad times' are being ignored and that the longing is purely focused on a distorted, or partial, past. \nYet through it all I'm glad everything happened and has taught me what it has.\n\nSo, in short, how can I be simultaneously happy about all of my past and also allow for the, at times selective, nostalgic longing to return to it?", "How can you cope with simultaneously feeling happy about past events while also feeling sad that they are indeed, past events? It's pretty much a nostalgic feeling I believe. When looking back I tend to only focus on the good bits and thereby create a longing inside of me for that time/those kind of times.. I'm fully aware that this is only partially 'true' as the 'bad times' are being ignored and that the longing is purely focused on a distorted, or partial, past. \nYet through it all I'm glad everything happened and has taught me what it has.\n\nSo, in short, how can I be simultaneously happy about all of my past and also allow for the, at times selective, nostalgic longing to return to it?", "How can you cope with simultaneously feeling happy about past events while also feeling sad that they are indeed, past events? It's pretty much a nostalgic feeling I believe. When looking back I tend to only focus on the good bits and thereby create a longing inside of me for that time/those kind of times.. I'm fully aware that this is only partially 'true' as the 'bad times' are being ignored and that the longing is purely focused on a distorted, or partial, past. \nYet through it all I'm glad everything happened and has taught me what it has.\n\nSo, in short, how can I be simultaneously happy about all of my past and also allow for the, at times selective, nostalgic longing to return to it?" ]

[ "Perhaps the answer lies in accepting that you're going to feel both happy and sad about the past, at varying degrees and stages of your life. ", "The past is just a story we tell ourselves. (quote from the movie \"Her\")\n\nWhat matters is now.\n\nIf you're happy now, then all is well. There is no problem looking back on the past, because everything in it has led to you being happy.\n\nIf you're not happy now, ask yourself what makes (makes, not made) you unhappy and try to change it for the better. That's often much easier said than done, I know, but missing a happier past will definitely not get you anywhere.\n\nHappy or unhappy, regrets about the past will not ever change it, so if you have any, work on rather accepting than regretting.", "You would appreciate a YouTube series titled 'Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows' =] your welcome to anyone that gives this a look.", "What you're talking about is nostalgia. Happens to everyone, and I wouldn't worry too much about it.\n\nWhat I do is just focus on the thing that makes me smile, then move on as quickly as possible to the next thing on my to-do list.", "\"Only memory preserves happines forever\"... a nice quote, and, while it does not really solve anything, at least makes you remember, that with some things it's good that they ended while still worthy to be remembered... maybe a thought that will help you :)" ]

[ 7, 3, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Any tips for someone preparing an hour+ presentation? Next week, I will be giving an hour-long presentation followed by a 15-20 minute Q&amp;A for a seminar I'm taking. \n\nI am comfortable with the material, and my research is well underway. \n\n...But the longest presentation I've ever given was about 15-20 minutes. \n\nWhat tips do you have for someone to get through the long stretch without becoming boring or getting lost in the amount of material that needs to be covered?\n \nAny tips to keep track of time to avoid going over/under?\n\nConquering anxiety? \n\nI should add that I am severely restricted in the amount of media I am allowed to use (no powerpoint, five minutes of supporting multimedia maximum).\n\nThanks!", "Any tips for someone preparing an hour+ presentation? Next week, I will be giving an hour-long presentation followed by a 15-20 minute Q&amp;A for a seminar I'm taking. \n\nI am comfortable with the material, and my research is well underway. \n\n...But the longest presentation I've ever given was about 15-20 minutes. \n\nWhat tips do you have for someone to get through the long stretch without becoming boring or getting lost in the amount of material that needs to be covered?\n \nAny tips to keep track of time to avoid going over/under?\n\nConquering anxiety? \n\nI should add that I am severely restricted in the amount of media I am allowed to use (no powerpoint, five minutes of supporting multimedia maximum).\n\nThanks!" ]

[ "Pee first and bring a bottle of water.\n\nIf you have a smartphone, set an event to have it vibrate when your time is half up, again when it's 3/4 up, and again when you have 1 minute left.\n\nMake eye contact with the audience as much as you can.\n\nTalk slowly and clearly, stand up properly, take deep breaths and speak from the diaphragm rather than the upper chest. You'll sound much clearer, your voice will carry farther, you won't need to stop to take breaths as often, and you'll feel much more relaxed.\n\nWe don't talk in real life the way we write on paper so don't worry too much about sticking to your script; you're trying to convey thoughts and emotions, not read a storybook.\n\nTake regular breaks in your speech for a few seconds so the audience has a chance to digest what you've said and so you can recompose your own thoughts.", "Look through your presentation for places where you can ask your audience a question - this breaks up the monotony of only one voice, one person speaking and engages the audience. The answer can be a brief one, and there can be multiple answers, and basically, you won't care whether they get it right or not because you'll just keep on going. But it gives the audience a chance to interact with you and that keeps their interest. \n\nLook through your presentation and see where you might insert a brief anecdote from personal experience - people remember stories and like to hear them.\n\nActually no powerpoint is better - then the audience will focus on you instead of on the screen.\n\nWalk around a little and vary the inflection of your voice, be expressive, so that the sound of your voice, varying volume and expression, keep the audience interested; a conversational tone of voice can draw your listeners in. Sometimes it is better not to be too formal in your speech and you can actually manipulate register/formality to click with your listeners. \n\nTry not to dither, rephrase, or insert fillers such as ah, um, etc. \n\nDuring my presentations, I overcome my anxiety by focusing on what I want to say, so I would recommend to you to think first and foremost about the message you want to convey. If you are committed to your message and to communicating it effectively, the audience will get it and be thankful.\n\nGood luck with your presentation - let us know how it went!" ]

[ 2, 2 ]

[ "Your First Car As someone who looks to get their first car soon I was hoping if I can get some tips on how to pick the perfect car as well as anything I should know before I buy the car. This would include things like:\n\nWhat is the right budget for a first car?\n\nWhat are important things people often over look?\n\nUsed or New ?\n\nAnd other things. Any help would be appreciated!", "Your First Car As someone who looks to get their first car soon I was hoping if I can get some tips on how to pick the perfect car as well as anything I should know before I buy the car. This would include things like:\n\nWhat is the right budget for a first car?\n\nWhat are important things people often over look?\n\nUsed or New ?\n\nAnd other things. Any help would be appreciated!", "Your First Car As someone who looks to get their first car soon I was hoping if I can get some tips on how to pick the perfect car as well as anything I should know before I buy the car. This would include things like:\n\nWhat is the right budget for a first car?\n\nWhat are important things people often over look?\n\nUsed or New ?\n\nAnd other things. Any help would be appreciated!", "Your First Car As someone who looks to get their first car soon I was hoping if I can get some tips on how to pick the perfect car as well as anything I should know before I buy the car. This would include things like:\n\nWhat is the right budget for a first car?\n\nWhat are important things people often over look?\n\nUsed or New ?\n\nAnd other things. Any help would be appreciated!", "Your First Car As someone who looks to get their first car soon I was hoping if I can get some tips on how to pick the perfect car as well as anything I should know before I buy the car. This would include things like:\n\nWhat is the right budget for a first car?\n\nWhat are important things people often over look?\n\nUsed or New ?\n\nAnd other things. Any help would be appreciated!", "Your First Car As someone who looks to get their first car soon I was hoping if I can get some tips on how to pick the perfect car as well as anything I should know before I buy the car. This would include things like:\n\nWhat is the right budget for a first car?\n\nWhat are important things people often over look?\n\nUsed or New ?\n\nAnd other things. Any help would be appreciated!", "Your First Car As someone who looks to get their first car soon I was hoping if I can get some tips on how to pick the perfect car as well as anything I should know before I buy the car. This would include things like:\n\nWhat is the right budget for a first car?\n\nWhat are important things people often over look?\n\nUsed or New ?\n\nAnd other things. Any help would be appreciated!", "Your First Car As someone who looks to get their first car soon I was hoping if I can get some tips on how to pick the perfect car as well as anything I should know before I buy the car. This would include things like:\n\nWhat is the right budget for a first car?\n\nWhat are important things people often over look?\n\nUsed or New ?\n\nAnd other things. Any help would be appreciated!", "Your First Car As someone who looks to get their first car soon I was hoping if I can get some tips on how to pick the perfect car as well as anything I should know before I buy the car. This would include things like:\n\nWhat is the right budget for a first car?\n\nWhat are important things people often over look?\n\nUsed or New ?\n\nAnd other things. Any help would be appreciated!" ]

[ "Go with an older car and learn how to take care of it first. Keep it maintained, cleaned, and in good working order. Get into the habit of checking things and taking it to your service station of choice (I prefer taking my cars to my dealership). You'll also learn what you like and don't like, so instead of wasting money on a new car you realize you don't like, you only spent a little money a car you might or might not like.", "As a lifelong car enthusiast and non-professional mechanic:\n\nThere is no definite answer, but there are some tips. \nNo matter how well prepared, diligent and careful you are, you will have some mishaps such as clipping side mirrors when backing up, curbing the wheels, miss judging the distance to that garbage bin through a rear view mirror, etc. Get a car that you won't be sorry about scratching even if your financial situation allows you to do much better. \n\nYou can get a decent 2003 - 2008 used car for less than $5k these days. I have some recommendations on how to pick one. My personal favorite would be a VW. While I never owned one myself, I have driven a few extensively. Apart from being adequately reliable and cheap to maintain, this car provides a much better driving experience than most Japanese cars or, even worse, an American one. In a front wheel drive or all wheel drive configuration these cars have the least noticeable torque steer (an effect of engine power sent to the wheels via drive shafts or different lengths which can affect steering quite a bit) and this is important. Most people on the roads don't drive, they just steer in the direction they need to go and don't care nor think about fine attributes of a car. It is best to start your driving experience with those things in mind. If you want to get more quality feedback from the car, this one will do better than others in the price range. \n\nWhen you inspect your car before purchase, check the following: \n\n- automatic transmission service records. Life long transmission fluid is a market technique to get you to trade in sooner due to post warranty transmission issues. Auto transmission needs to be serviced every 30k miles. Period\n\n- Front suspension. Control arm bushings, steering balljoints, stabilizer bar bushings. These components wear out every 60-80k miles under normal driving conditions. Worn out suspension will make the car handle sloppy, cause shimmies, etc. If you cannot do the repairs yourself, this will be COSTLY on any car.\n\n- CV boots. Not very expensive, but can run up to ~600$ if faulty\n\n- Timing Belt, Timing belt, Timing belt. Cannot mention this enough. Most 6 cylinder cars won't have them (they have chains), but some KIA's do and I would avoid those. You MUST replace the timing belt on time or you can prepare to say goodbye to the entire engine at any second.\n\n- Electrical problems and power window problems. These can be a big burden. An electrical problem that seems minor could really be a tip of a savage iceberg. Experienced it myself.\n\nGeneral advice: always print the car history based on VIN number yourself. It will be well spent $25. Many sellers often photoshop bad history out while offering to save you this $25....very often. Look at the overall condition of the car. You can tell if the car belonged to a sloppy, uncaring person easy. This is a tell sign of poor maintenance and, most likely, sloppy driving.\n\nYou may find a cheap BMW, Mercedes or Audi in a seemingly good shape that may be a good buy. While these cars are a true pleasure to drive, they will cost you a used Toyota Corolla every year in maintenance if you want to keep them on the road. I have owned BMWs my entire life. Wait to get one of these until your disposable income easily exceeds $2k per month or they will let you down.", "As an automotive enthusiast, I'd say it's hard to beat a civic as a first car. Great mpg, reliability, cheap maintenance, and they're very easy to work on if you want to save some cash doing the work yourself. ", "Take it to a mechanic and have it looked over. That'll save you a lot of headaches. Also avoid various used brands. Older (80-90's) kias, Plymouth, most dodges, Chrysler... just most American brands. Japanese hondas, subaru, Toyota are usually a safe bet. Go to consumer reports to get more specifics", "ASE master auto tech here. Find something that was well maintained and have somebody who knows something about cars check it over if you don't feel comfortable doing so. Go for a test drive in it too. 90s Japanese cars are pretty solid if they aren't super high mileage of completely rusted out imo. GMs with the 3800 aren't bad, but have some common coolant leak issues that can get spendy if you don't fix them yourself. I can't speak for Ford because I'm not experienced with them, but I've never heard anything bad about them either. ", "Where do you live? What features are important for you? What can you afford? What will you be using it for? \n\nAnswer these qustions before asking for advice, because generally speaking every car from japan, korea, europe or the us that has been built in the last lets say 5 years will drive well and be affordable if bought used (but avoid 100k miles and more, if you just want it to run for a ling time).", "New cars are actually financially terrible investments. \n\nUsed cars can be bought privatly cheaper then at a dealership. \n\nnever \"HOPE for cr", "For the right budget - think of what you can afford, save that amount up in CASH before you start looking. Now only spend about 1/2 of that. Then take it to a mechanic and get a full workup, fix anything he says. Don't forget you also have to pay gas, insurance, maintenance, registration, tag, title, tax..... so save the rest to help pay for those items.\n\nUsed, at least 5-8 years old, but older is cheaper if you want to go older than that. As small as you can get it, everything is cheaper as it gets smaller.\n\nLook for maintenance records - not a carfax, but the actual receipts when stuff was serviced (also save yours to help sell for more when you go to sell). This is usually only available through private sales, but it's a nice way to know the car was taken care of.\n\nThings people overlook - look at the underside of the hood, if there is damage, people tend to forget to fix/clean/paint that. Bumpers are easy to fix, and the cheap fix places don't focus on the underside of the hood to keep costs down. Touch/pinch any rubber hoses you see in the engine, they should be pliable/flexible, if not they are old and need to be replaced. \n", "Before I answer I need to know your situation.\n\nHave you established cr" ]

[ 8, 8, 5, 4, 4, 2, 2, 2, 2 ]

[ "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n", "talking dirty in the bedroom as a male. NSFW Title. I've tried to dirty talk with my gf recently but I can't seem to get the words out at the right times because I seem to filter them so they come out later than they should. I also don't sound confident. I've been trying to \"fake it till i made it\" but I was hoping someone has had experience and maybe gone thru something like I have but have made it to the other side?\n\n" ]

[ "I usually scream \"AWOOOOOGA\" for a minute or so, then when I finish, I say with a raspy voice \"hachachachacha\". ", "For expressing pleasure: masturbate alone somewhere private and quiet and gradually let yourself say the things that want to pop out of your mouth and make the kind of noises you want to make. Get comfortable with yourself first. Then over time let yourself express tidbits of this when you're with her, starting off small so you feel comfortable the whole way.\n\nFor expressing desire to please her: Basically the same thing as the above advice. When you're alone and you think of her (or look at a pic she sent) and thoughts pop up like \"God I want you to sit on my face\" or what have you, start letting yourself say or whisper those out loud to get comfortable saying it yourself. Then gradually express these things in person when the thoughts and urge hits.\n\nAs for advice on what girls like to hear, it varies. Sometimes commanding and dominating can be sexy and surprising, sometimes passionate and sweet is more effective. Make her feel desired and comfortable. Don't do anything anyone does in porn. Be natural and animalistic at times and work with your actual feelings instead of a script. Say what you want to say.\n\nStart saying things without the delay or hesitation by starting small. You will eventually get there I'm sure.\n\nGood luck!", "So i actually learned how to do this with my last ff. Its hard at first, you have to get in a certain mood, which gets easier over time.\n\nChange your voice to be deeper and not as loud. Kinda like when you are speaking to yourself. Look at her body, not into her eyes. When i look at peoples eyes we both realize how cheezy it is and the mood is gone. Things you say doesent have to 100% true. Something like \"you make me so fucking hard/wet\" is always good. \"I want to fuck you so bad right now\" or \"your [insert bodypart] is so hot\" also works. Grab ass/pussy/tits/neck hard as you are saying it. ", "Dan Savage sums it up nicely \n\n> Dirty talk for beginners: Tell 'em what you're going to do, tell 'em what you're doing, tell 'em what you did.", "Well, it really depends on the woman you are talking to.\n\nTry to assess the situation and see who is currently dominate. Yes, the passive/submissive person can still take an active role in talking dirty.\n\nTalk a lot about how she is making you feel and how you intend to make her feel. \n\nAnother important aspect is evaluating your partner's response. If you pay attention you should be able to tell what is turning her on.\n\nLastly, and possibly most importanlty, get out of your head. You have to enjoy it and believe it if you expect it to elevate your sexual experience. \n\nI mean, if you have a small dick, probably dont say stuff like \"im bout to beat dat pussy up\" or \"take it bitch, take that shit\" bc then it is just comical. Play to your strengths and not your weaknesses.\n\n\n\n", "Whatever you do. Think about it before you say it. Sometimes it will come out like this. https://youtu.be/gDGaZtyNKWw", "My current partner loves it when I ask her to cum on my dick. I try to make it sound hungry without being needy or whiny. Not a demand. A request. A deeply desired request. That she cums on my dick. Again and again. When I ask her that, it always triggers her to focus on getting her own pleasure. She looses herself in the moment. Sometimes I'll massage her clit while doing so. Sometimes she'll massage it herself as she tells me that she's going to cum for me.\n\nGeneral rule: naughty without being crude or demeaning. Unless she's into that (and even if she is, don't do it all the time, anyway, just go to that well once in a while). \n\nIf you are with a new partner, always ask her - without demanding or sounding whiny - what you can do to make her cum... if she is already on her way there, you'll get a generic 'don't stop' type of reply, if she isn't, she'll tell you what to do so that she does get there.Talking... not just empty, repeated phrases, but rather discussion that's zeroed in on her sexual desires, will help her get off so much more than you could imagine.\n\nYou don't need to be some aggressive, loud talking porn star telling her to take it - in fact, I don't think that works very well for most women. It's a little demeaning and very generic/vanilla. She won't feel special, and her feelings will determine how much enjoyment she gets out of it.\n\nYou're worried about not sounding confident? Maybe you're just not into shouting or loud sex, and so you come out sounding bad. That's cool, you're just going at it the wrong way. Try whispering it in her ear, instead.\n\nDon't focus on talking about how much you're enjoying it. That's lame. Instead talk about something that will make her enjoy it more (sure, that could be just you talking about how good it feels, but that's not usually the ticket).\n\nAdvanced: once you've been with a girl enough to know her likes/dislikes, walk her through one of her dirtier fantasies. Even if it's a kink she's afraid to try, just talking to her about it and getting her to discuss her own fantasy will turn her on immensely and help get her off more. Everyone has crazy shit that, while they may never do it in real life (which is kinda sad, but whatever, that's a conversation for another day), they still fantasize about it. Getting her to trust you enough to open up to you about those fantasies is often enough to get her really turned on anyway (it creates a deeper bond of trust, and the deeper that bond, the more intense the sex, for most people), and then afterwords talking her through her fantasies will really send her into orgasm. And who knows, maybe it'll be something that you're really into as well, and then you two can go do that awesome thing together.", "Every girl is different, so be conscious of which terminology to use to refer to your penis and her vagina. Some girls think \"cock\" is too porny, some aren't fans of \"pussy\", etc. Try to think of terms she's used in the past and use those. Start slow and gauge her reaction before continuing. Generally, good starting points are telling her how beautiful/sexy she is and how good she feels. Then you can move onto telling her what you want to do to her, but be yourself. Take mental notes on what worked and then build off of it for the next time.", "Don't forget to remind her that her cunt is gorgeous, her ass is exquisite and that she is a fucking magnificent creature.", "To sound more confident, try speaking in a slightly lower register. You'll naturally talk quieter, but that's okay (as long as she can still hear you, that is!) because it will feel more intimate. ", "Q: You like sex? You are a person who likes the sex acts that we are currently engaged in?\n\nA: Yes! I am! I like sex!\n\nQ: You like sex! In fact, you are a person who likes sex as much as a prostitute likes sex!\n\nA: YES I LIKE SEXY SEX AS IF IT WERE MY PROFESSION!! TELL ME MORE ABOUT IT\n\nQ: YOU ENJOY THIS ACT YOU SEXY SEX PERSON etc.", "Go buy a book of erotica written by a woman for women. Or better yet, scout around and see if your gf already has one. \n\nEllora's Cave is a publisher you might want to check out.", "One of my all-time favorite comments was a guy in bed with his girlfriend. She keeps telling him to talk dirty to her... constantly insisting he do so. He's never done that sort of thing and finally blurts out, \"you like that, you fucking retard?\"", "Just make it a bit dominant and aggressive. Maybe try out a couple lines before it gets heated to feel her out-like\"you like that don't you?\" Be assertive. If she wants it nastier you'll know. Don't try to think in the moment, all the blood's in your cock, not your brain. \nLike the time my girl couldn't decide where she wanted my load and we're mid sex and I blurt out \"you want me to..uh, just DUMP IT IN YOUR CUNT?\"\nI swear we both froze in utter shock.\nThen we laughed. Kept fucking...\nThen I dumped it in her cunt.", "I generally just say what I want to do to her or compliment her:\n\n\"Your pussy tastes/feels so good\"\n\"You want me to fill that pussy up?\"\n\"You're gonna make me cum\"\nEtc. \n\nWatch some porn and it helps to get drunk. ", "Well I don't know much about dirty talk, but I know that whilst it is ok to refer to yourself as her daddy, it is never ok to call her your daughter.", "The ideal would be to have sex with people that speak very little English so you could whisper whatever in the right tone and they wouldn't be able to tell the difference.\n\n\"*Yeah, do you like that? I need to get margarine tomorrow. I'll go to Winco because they have really good prices. And next week I need to do a partial water change in my aquariums. Jessie had the most tragic story of all the characters in* Breaking Bad*. US Interstate Freeways are numbered in increasing order as you go north or east, opposite the US routes. I'm a little disappointed in how the writers of the Avatar comics wrapped up Azula's story in* Smoke and Shadow *but I think they gave her a pretty good ending and I hope they'll expand on it in the futuOh shit I'm gonna cum.*\"", "Tell her she's your good girl, tell her how sexy she looks sucking your dick/on her knees/whatever else she's doing, tease her and make her beg for it.", "I usually just tell her how tight she is, how good it feels, how sexy she is, etc.. \n\nI then segway into saying how \"warm\" and \"wet\" she is while mimicking Ygritt's voice from Game of Thrones. Totally gets her going and doesn't kill the mood at all.", "My boyfriend basically talks about the things he wants to do to me...I want to lick your nipples, run my hands over your body then bend you over so I can fuck you from behind. Would you like that you little slut ?You know but tailor it to your lady talk about things you know she likes (oh and maybe don't call her a slut right off the rip, I think it's fun but some women dont) ", "Has she asked you for dirty talk? If she has, why not just talk to her about what she likes? Better to talk to her about it instead of random people on the internet who have no idea what she's into...\n\nIf she's asked you to be more vocal and you're having a hard time getting into it I would start with baby steps- just tell her how good whatever she's doing feels, or how much you love to do whatever it is you're doing. A good \"fill in the blank\" is \"I love it when you ______ my _____. \"\n\nI would definitely talk to her about it before proceeding though, if you haven't already. Some girls would much prefer a few well placed moans over dirty talk, and if she isn't into it she might just get distracted by it...", "Don't think of it as just doing a task, you're building a fantasy. Step 1:figure out what she likes - is she a slut? Is she a pet? Does she just want to feel beautiful? Context is important. After that just match your tone to your actions. You can also start out just being louder in expressing how you feel - heavy breathing, moaning, \"mmm\". Practice talking while you masturbate. ", "I would recommend watching the film Mcgruber. Pay close attention to the phrases he uses, she'll be flowing like the white waters of the Swiss Alps.", "You mentioned confidence, that my friend is the winning ticket. While having sex I like to do dirty talk as a part of teasing. For example you are going hard then slow down. Way down. Slide in and out slowly and whisper how amazing it feels, how you live to tease her and make her quiver for you. If you slow down and are having trouble thinking of something to say just a low sexy moan drives most women crazy in my experience. I know I'm very simulated by noises/moans women make. It makes sense that they like the same from us. ", "U like that pp, girl? Yea, get it, tighty! Dis ma weener. were gonna bone until we achieve orgasm and perhaps even longer. Here comes the gook! ", "Short and simple statements with a few rhetorical questions sprinkled in the mix. Overthinking it is the hard part. (Insert hard dick joke here)", "Like with most relationship tips I would just advise you to communicate with her. This is the basis for pretty much anything in any happy relationships including anything sexual.\n\nTalk to her beforehand so as not to kill the mood with stupid questions during the act, ask what kind of dirty talk she likes, how far she likes it (some girls enjoy being insulted, some don't) etc...\n\nIt will give you by far the best idea of what she wants. ", "Just speak aloud about what you are doing and seeing. Is something specific turning you on while you are fucking? Tell her. You don't have to do a silly voice or make a big production about it. Just say it in the way you normally would when trying to communicate something to her, using your normal voice. If she does something and your dick gets harder, tell her your dick got harder. If you want to press her down into the bed, tell her. Does she seem to be enjoying something? Ask her if she's enjoying it. Does she feel super wet? Say so.\n\nIt's kind of like closed captioning. Just do it confidently and calmly, and maintain eye contact if you can.\n\nYou can practice by slipping little things into your regular sex. Over time your sex vocabulary will grow and you'll get more confident at it, and you'll eventually be able to give her a nice sustained, sexy talking-to. But start off with just little comments.", "Just fall back to some of the classics;\nMel Gibson, Random \"Give me back my son!\"\nSean Penn, Mystic River \"Is that my daughter in there?!\"\n", "All you need to know. It was in an AskReddit thread about dirty talk ([Link to comment] (https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1y6lhe/what_is_the_worst_thing_someone_has_said_to_you/cfhtedq))\n", "if she starts talking about her panties, just say \"You mean the panties your mother laid out for you.\" Works everytime. ", "[Here you are my child...](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/comments/3lm53k/a_guide_to_talking_extremely_dirty_ver_20/)\n\nGo forth and spit hot fire.\n\n", "You're so fucking hot. You're so fucking hot, you're like a curry. Start at 1:30\n\nhttps://youtu.be/a-sawvtJxDI", "Yea I get this. Someone I was talking to tried to have phone sex with me once. I felt ridiculous and ended up making jokes the whole time. \"I don't want to get you pregnant over the phone\" and \"I want you to have my abortion\" are both comments which do not fly well when the other person is trying to be serious. I think she thought I was laughing at her (cause I was audibly laughing the entire time) but it more just that it didn't feel natural to me. She hung up. We haven't spoke since. Just be yourself, man. If its not your thing its not your thing. Nothing wrong with that. ", "What never made sense to me is what those \"Male performers\" whisper during scenes. At one point, the pornstar even told him to stop talking. ", "There are two important components to trying new sexual practices: communication + trial and error\n\nYou should discuss any act like this at least a little bit with your partner before trying it. What do each of you want/expect? What is off limits (certain words,humiliation/degradation, etc)? Maybe try to find a video or guide that can lead your partner into what it is you desire - \"talk dirty\" is a little too vague. Trying to plan out every detail can make these sorts of activities a little bit less sexy, but you need to have some idea of where you're going. After the activity, discuss with your partner a little bit about what was liked and what was not.\n\nTrial and error seems obvious, but is worthwhile to bring up. It is hard to be confident when you are trying something out for the first time with someone you feel comfortable to explore something like this with. You can have an outline of what you think will do, but it takes time to flesh out the details with your partner. Try new things even if you've found something you both like. Write down ideas you may have during the day. KEEP ON INNOVATING. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't go as planned, just roll with it. Sex is never really as sexy as we make it out to be in our minds. Just keep trying. \n\nThe general advice of of saying what you're doing/planning/done is great. It will likely be your bread and butter. Add a little jam ", "The adjectives \"tight\" and \"wet\" are your best friend.\n\nOne of my go-to lines is simply \"you like that, don't you?\" or \"you like when I ____ don't you?\"\n\nDescribing what you can feel is always good too. I can even sometimes tell when she is about to climax before she does and I dirty talk her through it. \"You can't help but love (what I'm doing to you). You're going to cum, aren't you. Awe yeah, that's it baby. I can feel you shaking.\" That kind of stuff.\n\nMost people like the idea of getting lost in the passion when they are making love, and really love the idea that their partner is lusting for them beyond control: \"I'm so hard for you right now.\" or \"I can't stop looking at your amazing ____ .\" or \"I can't get enough of that _____.\"\n\nBest of luck!", "Talk about all the dominating manly shit you're going to do to her. How you're going to hold her down and fuck her until she passes out, and how there's not a fucking thing she can do to stop it. \n\nThen do it. ", "Serious reply - in order to sound confident its always best to achieve confidence. At first its difficult, but once you know what you are doing confidence comes naturally. So, heres what to do:\n\n1) Find out what gets her hot. This is super important as every girl is different. I've helped girls discover this but a lot of girls know already. (Usually strength/power/physique etc in their partner.)\n\n2) Focus on what gets her hot, and elaborate. I always start slow, asking questions relating to what gets her hot WHILST doing them. \"Can you feel that, do you like that? What if I did this?\" Listen to her answers and move forward.\n\n3) Every girl wants to feel hot, and letting her know how hot she is will make her hot. I say things like, \"oh my god can we stop for a second, this is too fucking good and I want it to last\" (even though im nowhere near climax). Then Ill kiss her for a good 30 seconds, with my hand gripping the back of her neck, showing strength/power.\n\nRemember, sex is about intimacy and the closer you are in the moment, the more intimate it will be. Shes got to be the focus, when you make her that, she will focus on you and its a beautiful symbiotic thing. Ramp up the speed and power ONLY when you feel that you are accelerating at the same time.\n\nBest of luck, you the man.\n", "Say what you're going to do to her.\nSay what you're doing to her.\nSay what you did to her.\n\nSounds simplistic and repetitive...and it is. Because that's the same as sex. Best starting point I heard of.", "Say in advance that you truly respect her but you think your fetish might be verbal abuse and you want to explore it. Then you can call her a stupid bitch without any consequences\n", "Remember Conflict Resolution 101: use \"I-statements\".\n\n\"When you (blank), I (whatever).\"\n\nor, you know **Git 'er done!** never fails.\n\n\n", "Like working out her preferred foreplay, think of it like a game of \"Am I getting warmer?\" in which the end-gaime is getting off. The keys are to *start out slow*, and *listen*.\n\n(1) Start out general, vague, and sexy. **Listen to how she responds.**\n\n(2) Add slightly more specific details. **Listen to how she responds.**\n\n(3) Incorporate her direction, and level of vulgarity. **Listen to how she responds.**\n\nCycle through (2) & (3) until you're comfortable.\n\n(4) Once you're more comfortable, explore your own direction. **Listen to how she responds.**\n\n\nIf something doesn't work and she brings it up or you feel compelled to talk about it, just say \"I think we just need practice...\" as you kiss her on the ear or whatever turns her on. (If you haven't determined what turns her on yet, sort this out first IMO.)", "Just start fucking her and tell her you like how wet her pretty pussy is. Tell her she makes your cock rock hard. Tell her you're gonna stick a finger in her dirty little ass and fill her hot pussy up with your load. Ask her how bad does she want your load. Suck on her titties and tell her you love her big soft milky titties. Tell Her to get on all fours so you can ride her like the big dog you are. Howl like a wolf and smack her ass. Reach around and rub her clit. Tell her you like how swollen her clit is. Make her cum and then nut inside her while she's squirming and quivering from that. Roar like a wildebeest. Then roll over and immediately fall asleep. Or go to the bathroom and clean your dick off, whatever floats your canoe.", "It's all about timing and reading the mood correctly. You can say \"I wanna fuck you in half, fuck I love your pussy.\" and it's sounds mental, or it can sound hot. You also have to mean it which I think is the hard part for you. Try not to filter it and stay in the moment and also it's OK to say something stupid. You are allowed to laugh in the bedroom and admit that \"Your ass is like mozzarella it's so round.\" was funny. ", "It helps not to take it too seriously. It is only part of the whole experience, not the experience. Also, be comfortable enough with your partner to understand that sex talk isn't necessarily a reflection of your views of him/ her (slut, whore, cockgobbler, etc)", "Is it that a lot of the dirty talk you can think of is calling her names and you are not sure if she would be into that? You could actually come up with a list of names to talk over with her or types of names and see what she thinks.\n\n", "Is it insane I'm more aroused by a dude cleaning up anything dirty than talking dirty. \n\nI digress have her find a porn that the wording is right. The use of the wrong verbiage can be a turn off and the right a turn on. Bonus it also gives you insight to her other likes. ", "If you have to solicit advice from strangers on the internet, I doubt you're going to need to know anyway. ", "I was telling my SO my secrets because I desperately wanted him to fuck me. He was just lying there after I gave him our first blown job and I'm like, ... I need relief. Having you in my mouth made me so wet. He was just kind of talking to me though and so I started telling him about how I read literotica to get myself wet. And when I wasn't able to keep reading and wanted to go at myself but couldn't orgasm, I'd verbally tell my pussy she was a little bitch for not coming and if she came, I'd make her my little slut. The entire time, I was so embarrassed to say this out loud but I was so wet and wanted him, I'd say anything. After I said, \"make her my little slut\", he said under his breath, you're making me so hard again, flipped me on my back side and fucked me. It worked. I suppose he was just tired from the blow job... My dirty talk got him going again how ever.", "I remember a redditor saying he once copped a Mario accent and as he switched positions he said \"now lets'a do eet a-like-a-theese\". Shit always made me laugh. ", "I felt super awkward when my girl told me to talk dirty to her, now I love it. I'd start with possessives, ex: \"This is my (pussy, ass, mouth etc...) and see how she reacts to it, women that want you to talk dirty typically like to be dominated, but sometimes like to reverse roles. Have her talk dirty to you and feed off of what she's saying. She'll let you know if you cross a line, just give a quick sorry and keep pumping it out. Good luck!", "Here, a audiobook from David Shade - The Art Of Sexy Dirty Talk.\n\nhttps://mega.nz/#F!GNZH3BpZ!t7rR0jYrRofNkO4EdShH_A\n", "Here's an easy one. When she's doing things just right and you're getting close try \"just like that\". It's clear to her she's doing something you enjoy, and exactly what you want her to do. \n\nHope it helps and happy fucking. ", "Hah, I try this with my girl and it's so awkward everytime. I just go with the classic \"you're so fucking beautiful\".", "Girl here! Just let it be natural and say what you're thinking/feeling. I love it when guys tell me how \"sexy\" or \"hot\" or \"amazing\" I am... so definitely compliment on the looks. Also, if it feels good, tell her it feels good! I (and probably most girls) like to be reassured that I'm doing something right in bed or that you're enjoying yourself. Also, I especially like when a guy talk dirty during foreplay because it gets me excited for what's next. Talk dirty to make her want you more. And make sure you tell her what you're going to do to her. It's something that's easy to do and it will make her excited. \n\nAnother thing... know the girl you're having sex with. Some girls might be shy and might not like you saying super vulgar or degrading stuff, and other girls love it. So if this isn't some kind of one night stand, then the more you are around the girl, the more you get to know her and the more comfortable you'll feel talking dirty to her. ", "First question -- Is this in response to a request made by your girlfriend?\n\nIf not, then sit down and talk with her about what made you feel compelled to start inauthentically talking dirty and about how that isn't you. Then shut up and listen as she reassures you that it doesn't matter to her and if it isn't who you are, then she doesn't want you to put on a fake persona just for the bedroom.", "Everyone is saying they want to say a bunch of horribly dirty stuff, but dare not because they would never talk to a woman like that. Meanwhile, when I hookup with guys, they tell me there's nothing I can say that is too much and to try and be as filthy as possible.", "Every woman is different, but for some reason, the following words tend to rub us the wrong way (fairly or not) when we want nasty talk:\n\nreferring to us as \"bitch\", \"slut\" or \"whore\".\n\nNow, \"you are so fucking sexy and I want to rip our clothes off in front of the world and fuck you hard\" can be fabulous when dirty talk time has started. So many things to say. And instead of trying to read her mind, ask her what she likes! Its very reasonable to ask. Not every person will like the same thing, so ask her what words to avoid, and what turns her on.", "Dirty talk doesn't have to last the duration. \n\nI like to start by yelling \"Bitch I'm gonna fuck you in the moist cunt!\" then bring the dirty talk to a crescendo with a [primal scream](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D66Vp5kRkCQ). \n\nThe moist only gets moister.\n", "Communication is key. \n\nWhen I'm with someone I'm comfortable fucking I'll often talk about how good my dick feels inside of her, or how I want to choke her as I fuck her. \n\nIt all depends on what kind of sex you're having, really. \nIf your partner is into a bit more rough stuff I'd suggest holding her hair in your hands, fucking her from behind, and moan/growl for her to cum on your cock. A bit of slapping, choking, and light biting never killed anybody. I also do a fair bit of loud growling/moaning as I'm fucking my gf. Not full on caveman-style, but just a bit of grunting as I'm pounding her.\n\nJust try and communicate with her as you go. Sex isn't supposed to be like trying to 100% a videogame, it's a learning experience every time. You'll get better with it as you go, and the more comfortable you are with your partner.\n\nHope this helps you out somehow. Ask if you have any further questions.", "\"Slutty or slut\" not \"whore\" and *certainly* not \"hooker, trash, trashy or prostitute.\"\n\nBaby or sweety, not mommy or any name you would never call her to her face. (no nicknames, variations on her given name, her mom's name....her hot sister or friend)\n\nPay attention to what she responds to positively, when you are not naked - and variations on that.\n\nStop thinking so much. Thankfully, she even listens to you. If you find yourself having to make something up, just keep quiet.\n\n\"Look at you\" - \"I thought about you all day\" and \"You're so fucking hot\" come to mind.\n\nbecause ... I do & she is.\n\nIn a pinch, hold you breath until you are dizzy as fuck and let your sub-conscience take over. Good Luck, Cowboy.\n\n", "My girlfriend loves it when I tell her how tight her pussy is. I call her \"Itty Bitty\" in public, nobody gets it except us. And you all now. ", "If it's that big a deal for you OP, some role play might get you in the right mindset. Dream up a scenario where you feel confident being sexually aggressive and dominant with your woman. And figure that shit out quick cuz there's another guy that she thinks is hot that's waiting on you to fuck up so he can slip in and do the things you're asking how to do on Reddit.", "Ask her to do things to you like bite your penis or smack your balls. She won't do it but it'll turn her on. Keep asking her throughout the encounter and by the end she'll be a waterfall of love smegma. ", "\"You like that, you fucking retard?\"\n\n", "Watch porn. Listen to what they say and then tweak it into your own sayings. its what I did and my girl never goes unsatisfied", "Start off by complimenting her body (you're so sexy, you're so tight).\nNotice a beautiful mark, or something unique and compliment (what a cute little beauty mark).\nThen well playing with the clitoris say something along the lines of \"I love this little button\" or \"you love that don't you?\"\nThen just state what you're doing to her, or about to do. \nMake sure you say \"this is my favorite pussy ever\" or \"Oh my god, you're so tight\". \n" ]

[ 390, 271, 143, 73, 72, 61, 50, 18, 17, 14, 13, 13, 11, 11, 11, 8, 8, 7, 7, 6, 6, 6, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0, 0, 0, 0, -2, -3 ]

[ "stop armpit sweat No matter if I use antiperspirant sticks or antiperspirant sprays, I sweat and it stains my shirts. I'm not nervous and don't drink any caffeine: I also trim my armpits, maybe shave them?", "stop armpit sweat No matter if I use antiperspirant sticks or antiperspirant sprays, I sweat and it stains my shirts. I'm not nervous and don't drink any caffeine: I also trim my armpits, maybe shave them?", "stop armpit sweat No matter if I use antiperspirant sticks or antiperspirant sprays, I sweat and it stains my shirts. I'm not nervous and don't drink any caffeine: I also trim my armpits, maybe shave them?", "stop armpit sweat No matter if I use antiperspirant sticks or antiperspirant sprays, I sweat and it stains my shirts. I'm not nervous and don't drink any caffeine: I also trim my armpits, maybe shave them?", "stop armpit sweat No matter if I use antiperspirant sticks or antiperspirant sprays, I sweat and it stains my shirts. I'm not nervous and don't drink any caffeine: I also trim my armpits, maybe shave them?", "stop armpit sweat No matter if I use antiperspirant sticks or antiperspirant sprays, I sweat and it stains my shirts. I'm not nervous and don't drink any caffeine: I also trim my armpits, maybe shave them?", "stop armpit sweat No matter if I use antiperspirant sticks or antiperspirant sprays, I sweat and it stains my shirts. I'm not nervous and don't drink any caffeine: I also trim my armpits, maybe shave them?", "stop armpit sweat No matter if I use antiperspirant sticks or antiperspirant sprays, I sweat and it stains my shirts. I'm not nervous and don't drink any caffeine: I also trim my armpits, maybe shave them?", "stop armpit sweat No matter if I use antiperspirant sticks or antiperspirant sprays, I sweat and it stains my shirts. I'm not nervous and don't drink any caffeine: I also trim my armpits, maybe shave them?" ]

[ "All of these posts are complicated. I had/have the same problem. Could walk out into the snow naked and would still sweat under my arms, I thought I was the only one and it practically ruined my social life through high school and beginning of college. Finally went to general care doctor at my college, said that it's actually a pretty common problem. Didn't have to run tests or anything. Wrote me a prescription for special anti perspirant. It's like $10, at least with my insurance. Told me to apply it nightly till sweating stops, and then to use as needed. After like a week or two, sweating under my armpits was close to nothing, and eventually none at all. It's been three years, I apply it every once in a while when I start to sweat again. It doesn't stop you from sweating during exercise or anything, but it was a life changer! Also taught me not to be afraid to go see a doctor, yeah its embarrassing and awkward but there are billions of people on this planet, you are not the only one with a problem.", "Try not to wear tight fitting shirts. Scrub your armpits with your fingers when you shower. Don't drink a lot of coffee. Maybe see a dermatologist. There's medicated deodorants. I've experienced your pain and the less anxiety I feel, the less weird winter pit sweat I experience. Best of luck mi amigo. ", "Certain Dri http://www.certaindri.com/\n\nchanged my life about 12 years ago and i'm still using it. i'd start sweating 10 minutes after putting on a new shirt, even if it was cool and i wasn't moving around. put this on at night (NOT after shaving) and it should completely stop the excess shaving.", "When are you applying the antiperspirant? I assume in the morning?\n\nThey are actually supposed to be applied at night, right before you go to sleep.\n\nAntiperspirants work by clogging sweat glands, typically with an aluminum substance. They can only do this by penetrating deep down to your pours, which requires a relatively dry surface or else they get washed away before curing.\n\nYour sweat glands are much more active in the morning, and if you apply it right after a shower, your arm pit is probably still quite damp. Most of the antiperspirant will wash out before even penetrating your glands if applied at this time. \n\nAs such, the most ideal time to apply them is at night. Your sweat glands are the least active, and you are typically the most dry at this point.\n\nYou might think, \"Oh but won't the antiperspirant wash out when I shower in the morning?\"\n\nNo, it won't. 24 hour antiperspirants once cured are extremely water resistance, that's a large part of their job, providing a water impenetrable barrier for sweat glands.\n\nBtw, you'd be surprised how much of the staining on white shirts is from deodorants and antiperspirants, not from sweat. Maybe try light grey undershirts?\n\n\n**TL;DR- You've been applying antiperspirants at the wrong time your whole life, apply them at night.**", "Use women's antiperspirant. Women typically sweat much more than men, and so antiperspirants are made stronger. They also usually have the added benefit of being gentle and moisturizing. \n\nI recommend dove brand. It works very well for 48 hours and can take anything you throw at it. ", "The thing that works for me, nothing else did before- run cold water over your armpits after a hot shower, before you get out. Seemed too simple. ", "Personally, I've found that shaving them actually makes things *worse*. Dietary changes can sometimes help. Perspiration tends to increase if you aren't getting enough sleep, too.", "I have the same problem. Tried shaving, trimming, and natural armpit to no avail. \nUndershirts can help mitigate staining of nicer dress shirts. Even then I sweat through them and eventually stain them. \nFor a while I was using certain-dri which seemed to be a very potent antiperspirant but then I started getting bad back sweat. \n\nIf you are only worried about stains (permanent) as opposed to just a little sweat during the day, my brother and I have had success treating/preventing stains. Essentially, using oxy-clean and turning it into a paste, apply it to the stained area, let it sit for a while (hours), and then wash normally. ", "I found after going to the gym frequently I began sweating significantly less. The less body fat you have, the less you are likely to sweat. It may take a while but it's all worth it in the end." ]

[ 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Organizing administration for a retail store / e-retailer. There are a lot of papers in front of me, and I know there has got to be a better way or framework that someone can offer. I've organized my papers in to groups, such as:\n\n* Vendor Invoices\n* Visa Statements\n* Marketing Ideas\n* Campaigns (upcoming / in progress)\n* Taxes / Receipts\n\netc..\n\nI've been grouping the papers by area of business and putting them in to their own binders and filing racks. I'm just figuring this out as I go along though and would be appreciative of any retailers, retail employees, or other business owners who could clue me in on their workflow and admin system. I'df appreciate any help. Thanks!", "Organizing administration for a retail store / e-retailer. There are a lot of papers in front of me, and I know there has got to be a better way or framework that someone can offer. I've organized my papers in to groups, such as:\n\n* Vendor Invoices\n* Visa Statements\n* Marketing Ideas\n* Campaigns (upcoming / in progress)\n* Taxes / Receipts\n\netc..\n\nI've been grouping the papers by area of business and putting them in to their own binders and filing racks. I'm just figuring this out as I go along though and would be appreciative of any retailers, retail employees, or other business owners who could clue me in on their workflow and admin system. I'df appreciate any help. Thanks!" ]

[ "Take each paper and hold it in your hands for a few moments. Ask yourself, \"Does this paper give me joy?\" If it does, put it exactly where it belongs (you'll know where). If it doesn't, throw it away. \n\nRepeat this process with each paper in turn until you realize you hate your job and quit / get fired. Then you will know bliss. \n\n---My distillation of \"The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up\"", "At our company we organize everything by month, which are then organized into quarters. Each month we gather our daily paperwork which describes the sales for the day, cash +/-, coupons, etc and ship those off to our home office. Our old physical copies of vendor tickets are kept in an invoice log separated by month, boxed up and stored away in the space above our office door because the actual details of the ticket are uploaded into our network every day along with digital record of each transaction in a business day. Filing folders and cabinets are awesome.\n" ]

[ 1, 1 ]

[ "How to improve handwriting I am a left handed high school senior about to enter college, and I am embarrassed by my handwriting. Its sloppy and looks like a 3rd graders. How can I improve my handwriting?", "How to improve handwriting I am a left handed high school senior about to enter college, and I am embarrassed by my handwriting. Its sloppy and looks like a 3rd graders. How can I improve my handwriting?", "How to improve handwriting I am a left handed high school senior about to enter college, and I am embarrassed by my handwriting. Its sloppy and looks like a 3rd graders. How can I improve my handwriting?", "How to improve handwriting I am a left handed high school senior about to enter college, and I am embarrassed by my handwriting. Its sloppy and looks like a 3rd graders. How can I improve my handwriting?", "How to improve handwriting I am a left handed high school senior about to enter college, and I am embarrassed by my handwriting. Its sloppy and looks like a 3rd graders. How can I improve my handwriting?" ]

[ "Write in all-caps! Seriously, once you get used to it, you'll be able to write quickly, on top of it looking neat and professional.", "Buy a calligraphy book and practice with the correct kind of pen. Hunt's Speedball is fairly cheap.\n\nAlternatively, keep a journal in long hand and concentrate on the quality of your penmanship as you write.", "The advice I have seen is find a font you want to write like. Then over the course of weeks apply yourself. Go through and draw the letters once or 5 times through a night as perfectly as you can (dont worry about speed, speed will come later with practice). This will condition you to be able to replicate it better and faster and eventually you will make it your normal hand writing. \n\nAnother thing I have heard is to teach your other hand (righties use left, lefties use right) how to perfect to writing neatly. It may be slow but it requires so much effort to teach your other hand how to write you pick up small gestures that you wont notice if you were writing with your dominant hand and again it will condition you to improve your writing. ", "Try resting your head on your free arm on the desk, like you're sleeping. Works for me anyway,. Don't worry about people seeing class notes either. ", "Slow down the pace you're writing at. When I write too fast, my handwriting goes from being quite decent to scribble. " ]

[ 15, 6, 3, 2, 2 ]

[ "my back hurts, any tip? im 15, i dont do much physicall activity, im not skinny but also not fat, and everytime i lay down in the couch or in my bed with the phone for ex my back starts to hurt 5min later, its just too annoying, any help?", "my back hurts, any tip? im 15, i dont do much physicall activity, im not skinny but also not fat, and everytime i lay down in the couch or in my bed with the phone for ex my back starts to hurt 5min later, its just too annoying, any help?", "my back hurts, any tip? im 15, i dont do much physicall activity, im not skinny but also not fat, and everytime i lay down in the couch or in my bed with the phone for ex my back starts to hurt 5min later, its just too annoying, any help?", "my back hurts, any tip? im 15, i dont do much physicall activity, im not skinny but also not fat, and everytime i lay down in the couch or in my bed with the phone for ex my back starts to hurt 5min later, its just too annoying, any help?", "my back hurts, any tip? im 15, i dont do much physicall activity, im not skinny but also not fat, and everytime i lay down in the couch or in my bed with the phone for ex my back starts to hurt 5min later, its just too annoying, any help?", "my back hurts, any tip? im 15, i dont do much physicall activity, im not skinny but also not fat, and everytime i lay down in the couch or in my bed with the phone for ex my back starts to hurt 5min later, its just too annoying, any help?", "my back hurts, any tip? im 15, i dont do much physicall activity, im not skinny but also not fat, and everytime i lay down in the couch or in my bed with the phone for ex my back starts to hurt 5min later, its just too annoying, any help?" ]

[ "Yo, I'm 26, software dev so I sit A LOT and I like to game A LOT. I was a year round athlete in hs/college and my God, the damage you do to your body by not excercising. I took about a year and a half off of running and I am suffering dearly for it. \n\nDude, go see a physical therapist ASAP. You do not want muscle imbalances that young as it leads to a lot of complications later on. I got done with PT for my shoulder (same scenario, just different area) and it was magical.\n\n", "Wait, I've seen the dark knight rises. I believe in that documentary the answer to back pain was; to enter a pit/prison, hang from a rope by your wrists, and have an old guy punch you in the spine. Id try that, batman can't be wrong.", "Stretch. Sometimes tight muscles can cause pain in unexpected places. Tight hamstrings can cause back or even neck pain.", "Im 20 and a Software Dev + Gamer so i sit really long, 10 Months i had pain in my joints and started to train and The pain wasnt there anymore when i was 2 Months in. For real Just start working out it will help you a Lot! It totaly changed my life and i would never live without it again.", "Hey, just a quick comment:\n\n \"I dont do much physicall activity \" \nThere you have wour overarching problem. I´m pretty sure If you fix that you´ll feel better. Therefor get help by someone who is quallified to train you (Doc, Trainer ...) \n\n\n\"I lay down in the couch or in my bed with the phone for ex my back starts to hurt 5min later\" \nYou´ll find some assumptions in the comments but noone can diagnose that without seeing you in person. If possible go find some form of doctor to tell whats wrong exactly. Since you discribe it as \"annoying\" I´m pretty sure it will go away with activity. \n\n\nFor Quality information about exercise and injurie prevention go to Athlean-X on Youtube (completly free) he is known to be the best guy for that sort.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nBest regards. \n\n\n&#x200B;\n\n(You may keep your spelling/Grammar mystakes one can find in my writing)", "Go to a good chiropractor. Many are still open during this shut down. A chiropractor will adjust your spine and give you exercises to maintain. Try not to do any drug, surgery etc unless it’s a last possible resort. Having said that, Take an anti- inflammatory to relax whatever muscles are doing this to you. Hot bath, massage etc May also help in the meantime", "Do you feel any shooting pains or numbness down your leg when your back starts hurting? If so, you might want to go see a doctor. I developed a two bulging discs (found on an MRI) at 18.\n\nThe doctor recommended physical therapy to prevent them from herniating. Needless to say, I went off to college, ignored his advice to exercise and see a physical therapist. \n\nThe result of ignoring his advice? I ended up rupturing both discs and had 6 screws, 2 rods, and 2 titanium cages drilled into my spine with permanent nerve damage.\n\nThe scar tissue from the surgery ended up entrapping the nerves and destroyed the myelin sheath that insulates the nerves. Had to have a second surgery a few years later to have a spinal cord stimulator implanted in the spinal canal with 2 electrical leads (one on each side) of my spinal cord so that I could walk without having to use a cane.\n\nAll of this before the age of 30. \n\nMy suggestion is that if it continues and occurs with any kind of frequency, I would start with your doctor. I started with my family doctor, who ordered the MRI, which sent me to the neurosurgeon who drilled in the rods and screws with a 12-month recovery and now I am relegated to physical therapy for the rest of my life.\n\nNobody realizes just how much their back actually does for them (walking, standing, working in the yard, sitting for extended periods, etc.)." ]

[ 3, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How do I stop spitting while speaking? I have noticed this a lot, when I'm speaking, often a drop of spit would escape my mouth with a good amount of acceleration.\n\nIt is embarrassing... How do I control it?", "How do I stop spitting while speaking? I have noticed this a lot, when I'm speaking, often a drop of spit would escape my mouth with a good amount of acceleration.\n\nIt is embarrassing... How do I control it?", "How do I stop spitting while speaking? I have noticed this a lot, when I'm speaking, often a drop of spit would escape my mouth with a good amount of acceleration.\n\nIt is embarrassing... How do I control it?", "How do I stop spitting while speaking? I have noticed this a lot, when I'm speaking, often a drop of spit would escape my mouth with a good amount of acceleration.\n\nIt is embarrassing... How do I control it?", "How do I stop spitting while speaking? I have noticed this a lot, when I'm speaking, often a drop of spit would escape my mouth with a good amount of acceleration.\n\nIt is embarrassing... How do I control it?" ]

[ "I find that i (and others) usually only release the spittle when talking animatedly. Maybe try slowing down and speaking more deliberately?", "Eat saltines when you feel like your mouth is secreting more saliva than usual. This helps to dry out your mouth a little... I have an overactive salivary gland, so sometimes it can be an issue. This was a DIY technique I stumbled onto by accident when I was eating saltines while watching a movie.", "I find staying well hydrated, rather than eating saltines or keeping your mouth dry, is the best solution for this. I think it's to do with the saliva viscosity, thicker saliva is more clumpy or whatever...\nOther than that, just slow down a bit. If it's worth saying it's worth taking a couple of extra seconds not to moisten someone's face for!", "what I found really useful to me was to purchase some dog oil at your local market and spritz some onto your elbow or back of knee area", "Don't let your tongue touch your lips too often. Keep your mouth salivated but not too much. (too little can be compulsive and bad for your teeth) Try to talk looking forward rather than downward. (Saliva + gravity = wet lips -> spitting in someones eyes while talking)\n\nJust making guesses here." ]

[ 10, 4, 3, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to naturally make your eyes water About a year ago I had Lasik surgery. Still one of the best things I've done for myself, but it left me with chronic dry eyes.\n\nTear drops work fine, but they aren't always readily available when I need them. On the other hand, I do know how to force myself to yawn to make my eyes water, bit I need to do this 5-10 times in a row for it to really work.\n\nSo the real question: does anyone know how to make eyes water without all the fake yawning shenanigans?", "How to naturally make your eyes water About a year ago I had Lasik surgery. Still one of the best things I've done for myself, but it left me with chronic dry eyes.\n\nTear drops work fine, but they aren't always readily available when I need them. On the other hand, I do know how to force myself to yawn to make my eyes water, bit I need to do this 5-10 times in a row for it to really work.\n\nSo the real question: does anyone know how to make eyes water without all the fake yawning shenanigans?", "How to naturally make your eyes water About a year ago I had Lasik surgery. Still one of the best things I've done for myself, but it left me with chronic dry eyes.\n\nTear drops work fine, but they aren't always readily available when I need them. On the other hand, I do know how to force myself to yawn to make my eyes water, bit I need to do this 5-10 times in a row for it to really work.\n\nSo the real question: does anyone know how to make eyes water without all the fake yawning shenanigans?" ]

[ "Find a girl, ask her out, date her for a few years, ask her to marry you, make a baby, fight for the next 5 years, separate, get divorced, lose all your money, and lose custody of your child. That should do it :)", "That's a side effect of lasik surgery, dry eye. \n\nDon't use the shitty false tears, get some lubrication solution from your doc. I use systane ultra, for dry eye not caused by laser surgery, but light sensitivity,they work miracles and last hours! ", "I too have a dry eye problem. When one of my patients has something in their eye, I often tell them to look up and try to blink while pulling on their bottom eyelids down. It causes your eyes to tear and will remove the foreign object (in our case, it can help fight dry eyes when you don't have drops on hand).\nBest of luck" ]

[ 29, 7, 2 ]

[ "How do I make myself more assertive? I have a problem, Reddit. In that I can't seem to assert myself in anything. I'll typically always go along with someone else's opinion, rarely ever speak up, and take \"No\" for an answer way too many times. I'm just genuinely a passive person and honestly, I really don't like that about myself. \n\n\n\nWhenever I attempt to sound more forceful, part of me always feels remorse, as if I'm annoying others or something. \n\n\n\n\nWhat exactly can I do to have more confidence in my opinions and such?", "How do I make myself more assertive? I have a problem, Reddit. In that I can't seem to assert myself in anything. I'll typically always go along with someone else's opinion, rarely ever speak up, and take \"No\" for an answer way too many times. I'm just genuinely a passive person and honestly, I really don't like that about myself. \n\n\n\nWhenever I attempt to sound more forceful, part of me always feels remorse, as if I'm annoying others or something. \n\n\n\n\nWhat exactly can I do to have more confidence in my opinions and such?" ]

[ "Advocate for yourself the way you would for a good friend. It sounds silly but imagine your standing up for your bestfriend instead of yourself. If your unsure of you opinions or why you want/don't want something research it, write down your reasons and practice making your argument before talking to the person. Follow through on your negative thoughts to their conculsion and you will often realise they aren't realistic and might even be silly. If you stand up for yourself what is the worst the could happen? Would everyone really hate you? Would your boss actually fire you? Your bf/gf dump you? We build stuff up way too much in our mines. ", "Do it more, fake it till you make it.\n\nYou need to get used to the feeling of being in control. Social skills are well skills and should be trained. Noone is born with the knoweledge, some people get into more social encounters in young age so they get things \"naturaly\". You were not that lucky so you can do the next best thing: PRACTICE!\n\nThe more you do it, the better you will get" ]

[ 4, 2 ]

[ "What is the best way to safely have a list to all of my passwords at work? I'm an insurance agent and I just counted 23 different user IDs and passwords. I need both a safe and convenient way to have all of my passwords because my brain just can't take it anymore and I'm tired of always having to reset them. Any tips would be much appreciated!!!", "What is the best way to safely have a list to all of my passwords at work? I'm an insurance agent and I just counted 23 different user IDs and passwords. I need both a safe and convenient way to have all of my passwords because my brain just can't take it anymore and I'm tired of always having to reset them. Any tips would be much appreciated!!!", "What is the best way to safely have a list to all of my passwords at work? I'm an insurance agent and I just counted 23 different user IDs and passwords. I need both a safe and convenient way to have all of my passwords because my brain just can't take it anymore and I'm tired of always having to reset them. Any tips would be much appreciated!!!", "What is the best way to safely have a list to all of my passwords at work? I'm an insurance agent and I just counted 23 different user IDs and passwords. I need both a safe and convenient way to have all of my passwords because my brain just can't take it anymore and I'm tired of always having to reset them. Any tips would be much appreciated!!!", "What is the best way to safely have a list to all of my passwords at work? I'm an insurance agent and I just counted 23 different user IDs and passwords. I need both a safe and convenient way to have all of my passwords because my brain just can't take it anymore and I'm tired of always having to reset them. Any tips would be much appreciated!!!", "What is the best way to safely have a list to all of my passwords at work? I'm an insurance agent and I just counted 23 different user IDs and passwords. I need both a safe and convenient way to have all of my passwords because my brain just can't take it anymore and I'm tired of always having to reset them. Any tips would be much appreciated!!!" ]

[ "I use http://keepass.info and sync the password file across multiple machines and my phone with dropbox. There's even an Android version of keepass.", "you could make them all based on the same root, with qualifiers for each one based on the site you're using. so something like \"passwordHOTMAIL\", \"passwordGMAIL\", \"passwordALLSTATE\", \"passwordPROGRESSIVE\", whatever.\n\nthe other option is to leave yourself a list of the sites with a very obscure security questions. things nobody would be able to guess, so if your password for progressive is \"lawnmower\", you could put \"grass?\" as your question. just make sure they're things that will trip your memory well.", "Is your computer account password protected? \nI use the note feature on outlook to place notes, but this is on a computer that needs a smartcard to be accessed", "I send encrypted e-mails (requires smartcard and PIN to access) to myself with all my passwords, reply to the pertinent one when a password needs to be renewed, and keep them all in a folder in my e-mail client.", "I make a veiled note for rarely used passwords.\n^ - capitalized letter\n_ - letter\n# - number\n\nNote: ##^_ _ _ best time in sports\nPassword: 84Ball \n\nI used to have to scan my fingerprints to change my password. I'd just joke that it was because my password was too hard for even me to guess it. Mildly amusing true first time, awful the next 84.\n\nI'd like to second the root password idea. Make the qualifier something like every other letter or another rule you can remember. That's only two things the root and the rule.", "I hid mine by saving them as an image file (to prevent keyword search from finding it, type in paint or something and save the image file), then I pasted it into the bottom of the third tab of a spreadsheet. The first tab has typical looking spreadsheet data to make the file look like it's just another boring spreadsheet. Save it with an ordinary looking file name that you'll remember \"august_sales_data\" or something." ]

[ 9, 6, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?", "How to prevent small outbursts of rage. I don't know what comes over me, but sometimes I just can't control having little fits of rage over... A pen that won't write, for example. Stupid little things that shouldn't affect me, but do. I know there must be a bigger issue here (stress, excessive need for control, etc), but for that moment when I'm almost in tears because I feel rage taking over, does anyone have a tip to deal with that?" ]

[ "When you start to feel really frustrated... stop. Get up, go get a drink of water, go to the bathroom, go for a quick walk around the office. Just stop what you're doing and *leave.*\n\nOne of the things about our brain is that we shelve our current thoughts when we move on to a new task / new location. This is why you sometimes go to another room and have no idea what you intended to do when you get there -- your brain shelved your thoughts because you're in a new environment.\n\nSo stop. Get up. Get into a new environment and shelve that frustration.\n\nWhat you *don't* want to do is catharsis. Don't go into another room and yell and scream and let it out. All you're doing is rewarding that frustration and anger by releasing those lovely little hormones. Pavlovian conditioning isn't just for dogs.", "Breathe in through your nose while slowly counting to 4. Hold your breath for 7 counts. Breathe out through your mouth for 8 counts. Repeat a few times. It's supposed to help you get to sleep, but I find it's only good for helping me calm down when I'm anxious/scared/furious. ", "Check out mindfulness m", "M", "Embrace them and channel them. Next time you feel this feeling, remove yourself from the situation, go out and take a walk, clear your head, get some fresh air, take in the scenery, and when you're alone with a complete stranger calmly walk up to them and slam their head into the brick wall of an alleyway 6 or 7 dozen times. Take a few deep breaths. Make a routine out of it. It's the symbolic gestures that are the most therapeutic.", "make a joke out of it. find a laugh. its good for your nervous system. find a mantra you can think or say to yourself that reminds you of your goals. i think the more you practice your happy the stronger it gets. every day is different. don't beat yourself up about reacting poorly just think about how you're going to react calmly next time. ", "Well, could be lots of things. I'm going for the obvious one of youthful inexperience. If you are inexperienced in life, then minor inconveniences can seem important, rather than just part of normal life. Pens run out of ink. People die all the time.\n\nVolunteer at a hospital or get permission to observe really shitty work (cleaning chicken coops; underground sewer repairs). It will grow your perspective.\n\nBTW a pen running out of ink is not a stupid little thing. It's you not being prepared with a second pen that is the stupidity. Embarrassing, isn't it? So learn to manage the failures you can anticipate. Learn to flow with the failures you can't. \n\nIf you are overly stressed, get thee to a gym and work off the cortisol. It's your only hope. Stress hormones will fuck up your head and emotions, and you won't change that overnight. It's a biochemically based emotional problem that you take control of through disciplined physical activity.\n\nIf you're feeling out of control in your environment, which isn't hard to do if you watch the news, try martial arts. Pick one that moves in smooth ways to learn how to relax in the face of stress.\n\nTo summarize, you need to learn to appreciate why beer is cold, and only life experience can teach you that, so get going.", "This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user&apos;s privacy. It was created to help protect users from doxing, stalking, harassment, and profiling for the purposes of censorship. \n\n If you would also like to protect yourself, add the Chrome extension [TamperMonkey](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/tampermonkey/dhdgffkkebhmkfjojejmpbldmpobfkfo), or the Firefox extension [GreaseMonkey](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-us/firefox/addon/greasemonkey/) and add [this open source script](https://greasyfork.org/en/scripts/10380-reddit-overwrite). \n\n Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, scroll down as far as possible (hint:use [RES](http://www.redditenhancementsuite.com/)), and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.", "I thought i had my anger demon locked up on the chaingang but he broke last winter. It seemed liked i was fueled with anger. The one thing i notice was, i had a lot of unfinished projects or work. So one weekend i just knocked em all out. After that i felt whole again and i was stress free and happy. May not be the same for u. Breathing only helps that moment. I found my source. Good luck", "I save some really cute reddit r/aww pics to my phone, whenever I'm in bad mood and don't want to dwell further on I switch my attention instantly by looking at them, will usually feel better right away.", "I feel you, man. I struggle with the same problem. For me (at the mooment) I'm in a state of post-traumatic stress. I ignored my myself and my own needs for someone who dragged me through the mud for years. I explode easily when I talk, and I've been told I always go for the throat. People tell me I can be really unpleasant, but I cant help it. Almost like a reflex. I find almost every form of aggression a direct jab at my calm. \nI'm a shitty role model and I smoke cannabis. I wish you luck friend. I, too, would like an answer", "Give up. \n\nSeriously - the pen wins, the driver in front of you gets to go first, that guy that just took the last parking spot - it's all his.\n\nYou can't, and do not want to control that stuff. so why are you expecting yourself to?", "As silly as this may sound. I actually stop, close my eyes, clench my fists and kind of shake a little. It relieves some of my stress and calms me a bit. May sound crazy but it works for me.", "Always carry a cloth with you. Go to a bathroom stall, stick the cloth in your mouth and scream until you feel better", "Just stop, do nothing for a while, and feel the rage sink away.\n\nAlso, always remember this question: \"Is this worth getting angry about?\". Chances are that the answer is: \"No, this is just a crappy pen. Throw it away and get another one.\" or something along those lines.", "I have a punching bag in my basement so I can have these outbursts of rage without anyone near me who could get disturbed by it. Also I listen some awesome music when doing it so I get motivated to punch harder. doubles as a workout too" ]

[ 14, 7, 4, 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "LPTs for homeless / hobos? I am currently housed but I imagine these groups might have some tips / hacks that others may not have considered.\n\nAnything that applies to fellow homeless OR tips from the homeless that can also be used by the average person??? TIA!", "LPTs for homeless / hobos? I am currently housed but I imagine these groups might have some tips / hacks that others may not have considered.\n\nAnything that applies to fellow homeless OR tips from the homeless that can also be used by the average person??? TIA!", "LPTs for homeless / hobos? I am currently housed but I imagine these groups might have some tips / hacks that others may not have considered.\n\nAnything that applies to fellow homeless OR tips from the homeless that can also be used by the average person??? TIA!", "LPTs for homeless / hobos? I am currently housed but I imagine these groups might have some tips / hacks that others may not have considered.\n\nAnything that applies to fellow homeless OR tips from the homeless that can also be used by the average person??? TIA!" ]

[ "Planet fitness gym membership for cheap access to hygiene facilities is the one I see posted frequently.\n\nAlso to never start hanging out with other homeless.", "You're asking for some homeless person to give you, someone with a home, their time and energy? This doesn't sit well with me.", "I'm housed, but before covid closed it I was a regular volunteer at a homeless shelter in Sydney, Australia. Each shift I cooked dinner for four males, four females and a couple (which could be any gender combo), basically it was a dinner party for homeless folks and a place to sleep after and they got booted at 7am the next morning. It taught me shitloads about homelessness and what the priorities are for people who have nowhere to go.\n\nIn Australia, to get access to welfare payments as an unemployed and/or homeless person, there are routine requirements to check in with a government agency and complete various administrivia tasks. Homeless folks usually know other homeless folks who may or may not have been able to access charity to have somewhere to sleep tonight. Basically where I'm going with this is a working mobile/cell phone is critical to check in with government requirements and make sure your buddy also got a bed this evening (or commonly, to tell your partner where you got a bed and if they can join you.) After a few shifts at the shelter I learned to bring the cell/mobile hotspot work issued me, and a USB hub with a stack of chargers so people could charge and use their phones. If you don't have a place to live, there's periodic access to wall outlets to charge your phone.\n\nFood and drink for homeless folks is different to everyday housed folks. When you're not sure where your next meal is coming from you eat differently. A lot of people joined the charity that I was volunteering through with high falutin' ideas about kale salads and wellness. Homeless people need calories and carbs, and a disconnect between their lives and cuisine trends means they like simple food. Pasta and a meat sauce is great because it has everything you need if you are eating now and not sure when you're eating next.\n\nHomelessness happens for any reason and no reason at all. You're three mistakes at most from homelessness, and they don't even need to be your mistakes. Drugs and mental illness are rife, and violence is a problem. There's a few different ways to deal with that, but knowing how to defend yourself is a really good one. Personally, knowing how to de-escalate an ice addict waving the leg he's just torn off a chair without getting police involved (when people at the shelter had parole conditions that they were not anywhere near a police response) was a key skill. \n\n\nBecause being homeless means you have no consistency, addiction doesn't tolerate homelessness well. If you're addicted to something and at risk of homelessness, have a plan. When I worked at the shelter I always had nicotine lozenges on me because smokers who had no access to nicotine were grumpy and bad.", "Always keep some toilet paper with you, in a Ziploc bag if possible, you\nwill be better off at 3am when you have to pinch a loaf. And it will be when you least expect it too. If you don't it's going to cost you a sock or two and maybe a t-shirt." ]

[ 7, 5, 3, 2 ]

[ "How to avoid/deal with dingleberries. Only real men have hairy asscracks, thus only real men get dingleberries. What are some ways real men have dealt and/or avoided these poisonous fruits?", "How to avoid/deal with dingleberries. Only real men have hairy asscracks, thus only real men get dingleberries. What are some ways real men have dealt and/or avoided these poisonous fruits?", "How to avoid/deal with dingleberries. Only real men have hairy asscracks, thus only real men get dingleberries. What are some ways real men have dealt and/or avoided these poisonous fruits?", "How to avoid/deal with dingleberries. Only real men have hairy asscracks, thus only real men get dingleberries. What are some ways real men have dealt and/or avoided these poisonous fruits?", "How to avoid/deal with dingleberries. Only real men have hairy asscracks, thus only real men get dingleberries. What are some ways real men have dealt and/or avoided these poisonous fruits?", "How to avoid/deal with dingleberries. Only real men have hairy asscracks, thus only real men get dingleberries. What are some ways real men have dealt and/or avoided these poisonous fruits?", "How to avoid/deal with dingleberries. Only real men have hairy asscracks, thus only real men get dingleberries. What are some ways real men have dealt and/or avoided these poisonous fruits?" ]

[ "I wipe my ass.\n\n", "Someone posted an article about a guy who nair-ed his ass (hair removal cream). You also might consider buying an aftermarket bidet to add to your home toilet. Personally, I just troll the internet all day, so I don't give a shit about dingleberries", "Bidet, wet wipe, or hop in the shower.\n\nAlso, spread those cheeks before wiping. Cheek clench can store some nasty all up inside of it, even if you think you are wiping well.\n\n(I'm not a man, but I babysit and have wiped many a butt when diaper changing. Wee ones get dingle berries, too, even though they don't have thatch betwixt their cheeks.)", "http://shattaf.zahras.com/\n\nThese things are amazing. I live in the middle east, and they are very common over here. It's basically a little shower head: you just lean forward, give your butt a good blast (once you get the angle and pressure right, it's directed down into the bowl with no overspray), and the only thing you need the toilet paper for is to dab the water off. Shower fresh, squeaky clean bung hole every time!\n\nWhen I go back to europe, I am amazed at how nasty and backwards it is to just wipe shit off your arse with a dry wad of paper....", "Apply talcum powder to you rear before going.\nUse wet wipes afterwards.\nPut plenty of fiber in your diet, and drink plenty water.\nAvoid chocolate and sweet stuff.\nWipe back to front. Wipe sitting down.\nOnly #2 before a shower if you can.\n", "Adjust your diet such that you aren't prone to dingleberries. I have a manly lush and robust ass, yet I never suffer from such troublesome things because I eat relatively well. ", "After your regular TP wiping, give your rear a once over with one of [these](http://www.shoprite.com/pd/Nice-N-Clean/Flushable-Moist-Wipes-with-Aloe-and-Vitamin-E/48-ct/074887517708/). I swear it works wonders. " ]

[ 22, 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "How to stop losing your small valuables. I am the worst at this. I just lost a $200 set of earphones at a mexican restaurant and this is one of the cheaper things I have lost... Please help! ", "How to stop losing your small valuables. I am the worst at this. I just lost a $200 set of earphones at a mexican restaurant and this is one of the cheaper things I have lost... Please help! ", "How to stop losing your small valuables. I am the worst at this. I just lost a $200 set of earphones at a mexican restaurant and this is one of the cheaper things I have lost... Please help! ", "How to stop losing your small valuables. I am the worst at this. I just lost a $200 set of earphones at a mexican restaurant and this is one of the cheaper things I have lost... Please help! " ]

[ "Always put them back in the same spot after using them. If you take your headphones off of your shelf, put them back on the shelf in the same spot when you're done. If you're out and about, make sure you always put them back into their respective pocket. For example I usually do: phone and earphone in left pocket, keys and other miscellaneous things in right pocket, wallet and small papers in back pockets. \n\nPut things back in their respective spots.", "i have developed a habit of always patting myself down before i Leave or exit an area that i have been in for over 5 mins, even in my own room after sitting on my desktop for hours.\n\nI have saved my phone / wallet / keys so many uncountable times doing so, and have taught my SO to do so as well.\n\nforcing yourself to get ocd, great advice, yup...", "don't take small expensive things to random public places where they are not necessary. carry a purse or back pack to keep all your stuff in. check the bag for the valuables before you leave each store/place/building throughout the day, so if you do loose them, you at least know a recent place you had them.", "In my years at the uni friends taught me a simple formula: passport, money, cellphone, wallet, keys, a condom. It rhymes (does even better in Russian), and it's easy to ask yourself every time you leave some place to quick-check your valuables. You can invent smth similar of your own, or just use this one, substituting the meaning (for example, condom will mean earphones or a bus pass or whatever)." ]

[ 6, 1, 1, 0 ]

[ "How can I move this stuck zipper? Hi. My suitcase zipper is stuck at the corner, and can only move maybe a quarter inch in each direction before stopping. Thanks for the help! Pics of zipper: http://imgur.com/JMxizvd http://imgur.com/CAoAmWQ", "How can I move this stuck zipper? Hi. My suitcase zipper is stuck at the corner, and can only move maybe a quarter inch in each direction before stopping. Thanks for the help! Pics of zipper: http://imgur.com/JMxizvd http://imgur.com/CAoAmWQ", "How can I move this stuck zipper? Hi. My suitcase zipper is stuck at the corner, and can only move maybe a quarter inch in each direction before stopping. Thanks for the help! Pics of zipper: http://imgur.com/JMxizvd http://imgur.com/CAoAmWQ" ]

[ "I use two sets of needle nose pliers for those situations. Also, there is always something stuck in there. So you have to find it and get it out.", "Go get a plug, like a tv plug, hair dryer plug, an iron (the kind for removing wrinkles from clothes) plug, a phone charger plug, or something similar. Stick the metal part of the plug into the top right side (based upon the locations established by the pictures) of the broken zipper pull (the part you hold to close and open the zipper). Use the metal of the plug to pry that portion of the zipper pull open so you can remove the zipper from it. Then slide the broken zipper to the left and close your bag with the working zipper on the right of the image. ", "Gently cut between the teeth by the back into the zipper fabric. Move zipper head back and it will remove entirely. Open zipper, put zipper head back on and sew the cut on each side closed." ]

[ 2, 2, 2 ]

[ "How to handle small pieces of bar soap in the shower. When bar soap reaches a critical mass, it's really tough to handle and use conveniently. I don't want to just pitch 1/8 of my soap every time I buy it.", "How to handle small pieces of bar soap in the shower. When bar soap reaches a critical mass, it's really tough to handle and use conveniently. I don't want to just pitch 1/8 of my soap every time I buy it.", "How to handle small pieces of bar soap in the shower. When bar soap reaches a critical mass, it's really tough to handle and use conveniently. I don't want to just pitch 1/8 of my soap every time I buy it.", "How to handle small pieces of bar soap in the shower. When bar soap reaches a critical mass, it's really tough to handle and use conveniently. I don't want to just pitch 1/8 of my soap every time I buy it.", "How to handle small pieces of bar soap in the shower. When bar soap reaches a critical mass, it's really tough to handle and use conveniently. I don't want to just pitch 1/8 of my soap every time I buy it.", "How to handle small pieces of bar soap in the shower. When bar soap reaches a critical mass, it's really tough to handle and use conveniently. I don't want to just pitch 1/8 of my soap every time I buy it.", "How to handle small pieces of bar soap in the shower. When bar soap reaches a critical mass, it's really tough to handle and use conveniently. I don't want to just pitch 1/8 of my soap every time I buy it." ]

[ "Bring in the new bar of soap and use both for one shower so they're both soft. Then, once your shower is over, mush them together as best you can and let them dry. They become one new bar!", "You can get plastic net or terrycloth drawstring soap saver bags in many drug stores. You just put all the pieces in there and use the whole thing as a scrubbie/exfoliator. \n", "(useful if you're frugal)\n\nyou know all those single socks you have? just throw them in and tie the sucker up, and you're good to go.\n\ncan also double as a scrubber.", "Smash it onto the top of a new bar of soap. Do this then let it dry before using again to strengthen.", "You can sew an old washcloth (or however many you need for a comfortable usage period) into a pouch that folds over and stash it in there. ", "Set it aside, start a new bar of soap. After using the new bar a couple of times, press the old sliver of soap into the now wet and soft new bar. They will melt together into 1 bar of soap. ", "I picked up one of those tiny crock-pots from my local thrift store and I use it to melt down the small pieces of soap. I then recast them into a small Tupperware container. \n\nIt definitely takes more time and effort to do this than to simply toss them and buy more, but sometimes you get bored and want something to kill the time. " ]

[ 32, 10, 5, 4, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Stop or reduce stuttering in social situations Been stuttering all my life, seems to always get worse when I try and jump into a conversation. Any ideas on how to reduce stuttering, or even a way to work it in as part of the conversation so its less embarrassing?", "Stop or reduce stuttering in social situations Been stuttering all my life, seems to always get worse when I try and jump into a conversation. Any ideas on how to reduce stuttering, or even a way to work it in as part of the conversation so its less embarrassing?", "Stop or reduce stuttering in social situations Been stuttering all my life, seems to always get worse when I try and jump into a conversation. Any ideas on how to reduce stuttering, or even a way to work it in as part of the conversation so its less embarrassing?", "Stop or reduce stuttering in social situations Been stuttering all my life, seems to always get worse when I try and jump into a conversation. Any ideas on how to reduce stuttering, or even a way to work it in as part of the conversation so its less embarrassing?" ]

[ "Its important to remember that everyone is human and more like you than you believe. Some people have a stutter and some sweaty palms but everyone is nervous from time to time.Take a deep breath before conversations in through your nose and out through your mouth, hopefully not so loud as as anyone to hear. It helped me a lot. Also if its a common thing, your stutter, even when you aren't nervous, try practicing tongue twisters at home when you're alone. Remember to enunciate.\n\nAlso when you have some free time, watch The King's Speech. Great movie. \nMost importantly keep your chin up and don't dwell on it too much.", "My mom's an SLP. Her big thing, is that you should start off \"Hello, my name is _____, and sometimes I have a stuttering problem, just fyi.\" According to her, this removes almost all of the pressure, and greatly lessens the problem. Her other big thing, is that you can begin your trouble sounds by \"humming\" them, and rolling that into the word. Take museum for example. Instead of going for it and ending with \"m-m-m-museum,\" quietly go \"mmmmmm\" to yourself for a little bit, then start the word, so in the end it's like \"mmmmmMuseum.\"\n\nFinally, consider seeing an SLP. It's what they do.", "I remeber back in high school, one of my teachers told us that if we were to give a speech, we should hold a quarter in our pocket or behind us, moving it around takes your mind off the stress.", "I found myself stuttering a lot even when I'm not nervous. I eventually realized it's because my mind is going too fast and my mouth isn't catching up, so I end up talking really fast. So to correct it I actually thought of the whole statement in my head before actually saying it. To me it sounded like I was speaking really slowly and sounded dumb but in actuality I sounded normal and not like I was rushing through my statements. Stuttering gone. " ]

[ 6, 4, 3, 2 ]

[ "How to stop Satellite from losing signal when it rains. Every time it rains, even if it's a drizzle, the satellite signal gets lost. ", "How to stop Satellite from losing signal when it rains. Every time it rains, even if it's a drizzle, the satellite signal gets lost. " ]

[ "This normally happens due to thick cloud cover. If the signal strength is not strong when the sky is clear, then you need to adjust the positioning correctly.\n\nAlso, move to a larger dish which can focus and get a stronger beam signal - the small Ku band dish may not be sufficient sometimes!\n", "This is not normal. We have 80cm for Eutelsat and 60 for Astra in southern France. We only lose signal in extremely heavy rain. Are you sure you have it pointed correctly? All the connections are waterproof?" ]

[ 1, 1 ]

[ " Writing Exam Essays Like the title says, I'm wondering if anyone has any tips for writing an essay in an exam. \n\nI have no problems writing essays outside of an exam, or really, any timed scenario. I usually rock anywhere in the 80-90% range on take home essays, but I find I can't organize my thoughts or write well crafted essays when it really counts!\n\nAny ideas?", " Writing Exam Essays Like the title says, I'm wondering if anyone has any tips for writing an essay in an exam. \n\nI have no problems writing essays outside of an exam, or really, any timed scenario. I usually rock anywhere in the 80-90% range on take home essays, but I find I can't organize my thoughts or write well crafted essays when it really counts!\n\nAny ideas?", " Writing Exam Essays Like the title says, I'm wondering if anyone has any tips for writing an essay in an exam. \n\nI have no problems writing essays outside of an exam, or really, any timed scenario. I usually rock anywhere in the 80-90% range on take home essays, but I find I can't organize my thoughts or write well crafted essays when it really counts!\n\nAny ideas?", " Writing Exam Essays Like the title says, I'm wondering if anyone has any tips for writing an essay in an exam. \n\nI have no problems writing essays outside of an exam, or really, any timed scenario. I usually rock anywhere in the 80-90% range on take home essays, but I find I can't organize my thoughts or write well crafted essays when it really counts!\n\nAny ideas?", " Writing Exam Essays Like the title says, I'm wondering if anyone has any tips for writing an essay in an exam. \n\nI have no problems writing essays outside of an exam, or really, any timed scenario. I usually rock anywhere in the 80-90% range on take home essays, but I find I can't organize my thoughts or write well crafted essays when it really counts!\n\nAny ideas?", " Writing Exam Essays Like the title says, I'm wondering if anyone has any tips for writing an essay in an exam. \n\nI have no problems writing essays outside of an exam, or really, any timed scenario. I usually rock anywhere in the 80-90% range on take home essays, but I find I can't organize my thoughts or write well crafted essays when it really counts!\n\nAny ideas?" ]

[ "I have extensive experience in this, as my freshman college English professor felt that in order to properly prepare us for 'real' college life we should write nothing *but* timed essays in her class. In total I have written 12 timed essays for her class *alone*, and have had them (very successfully) in others. Here is how I approach a timed essay:\n\n1. Keep it simple. It's a timed essay. You don't have the time to look up 12 different ways to say 'explain' or 'discuss'. You are not being graded on the level of your vocabulary- you're being graded on how well you grasp the material and can explain it to others.\n\n2. Practice. I'm completely serious. I saw so many students struggle with timed writing simply because *they never do it*. Pick articles out of the newspaper (or here on Reddit!) and write simple, one page essays. Time yourself. Give yourself one hour to write 3 paragraphs. If you can't write 250 words on an article, you need to keep working on your writing skills. Give yourself restrictions: this one will be a cause and effect essay. This one will be compare and contrast. This one will be pointing out the logical fallacies. Again, *keep it simple*. We tend to overthink things and make them more complicated than what they are. \n\n3. Once you feel comfortable with the actual *writing* aspect, do your research. Yes, your professor is going to tell you the question on which your essay will be based at the exam, but you know it's going to be based on certain material, right? Scrub that material, and find key examples that can apply to *any* question. For instance, I recently had a timed essay in my History class on early civilizations. This covered the emergence of agriculture, early city-states, the beginning of a class system, politics, religion, etc. All of these could have been the subject of my professor's question. So I chose to study the gender roles involved, because it applies to *all* of them. So when she asked \"How did the emergence of the class system affect early civilizations,\" I already had 3 strong examples that could apply to that. So I had time to focus on my style of writing and checking for errors while everyone else was staring into space, struggling to recall information to use.\n\nAs a final note: *yes*, spelling and grammar count. One mistake is one thing; a paper riddled with run-on sentences and easy spelling errors is another. Don't bank on your professor ignoring them, because even if they don't 'grade' you on grammar, it will color their impression of the material. If you have time afterward, look it over and make corrections as necessary. \n", "1. Spend the first 1 minute gathering your thoughts. this will insure you have a plan when you put pen to paper, and are not frantically thinking.\n2. Avoid fluff. Seriously, in a timed scenario you don't have the time to waste on sentences that will not help prove your point.\n3. when studying, try to think of what your proffesor/teacher talked about and brainstorm essay questions. Then write quick outlines for these. While you probably won't get the exact same question, you'll definitely train your brain to think critically.", "Most people reading/grading your essays would like the process to be as quick and painless as possible. Your job when writing graded essays is to provide the points the grader is looking for. \n\nSome essays, you'll be required to take a position. Make sure the thesis is clear (e.g., Why or why not? --> It is, or it isn't.) If it is, every time you introduce a piece of evidence, tie it to the thesis. This boils your job down to thesis + evidence + linkage. And you'll probably have to repeat this exercise two or three times. If your challenge is organization, ask yourself \"what is my thesis?\" (which you should find repetitive), \"what can I use as evidence?\" and \"how does the evidence prove my thesis?\" It's the last of these three questions that generally separates good from great. If you're writing anything else, it's unnecessary and a waste of time (remember: graders are lazy and they hate grading). The reason you take those first couple minutes to 'organize/outline your thoughts' before you write is because you're mostly just putting sentence syntax (i.e., colloquial tone or talking) around those 'thesis+evidence+linkage' chunks. \n\nIf your question asks, \"Is it true that...?\" just restate the fucking question, \"It is true that...\"\n\nDon't write essays high. \n\nInternal signposts (e.g., \"first, I'ma say this. Second..., and lastly...\") aid in making the grading job easy. Note: there's a huge difference between making a passage or essay 'sound nice' vs. making an essay easy to grade. These are especially important if the question says something like, \"cite three examples.\" \n\nI think some of this is true.", "Make a quick outline with your thesis and 3 main paragraph topics, then try and jot down a few examples for each topic. Then when it comes to actually writing, all you have to do is look at your outline. Also, it is important to have your strongest arguments in the first paragraph and weakest last. For a conclusion, reword your thesis and main topic sentences. ", "Like others have written, find your main points first. Don't add BS to lengthen- substance over length in timed essays. Don't freak out if you don't have as many words as you'd like on the page. And don't stress over big words. It's more important to show you know what you are writing about. ", "For a timed essay, while important, grammar and spelling isn't their priority. They want to see your thought process, reasoning, and conclusion. You're supposed to be putting together a fluid argument, not nit picking your spelling mistakes cause you didn't have all night to proof-read and make it 100%." ]

[ 7, 7, 5, 3, 2, 2 ]

[ "What are some things I can do at night, to make my morning easier? I have such a hard time before work remembering everything and getting out the door in time!", "What are some things I can do at night, to make my morning easier? I have such a hard time before work remembering everything and getting out the door in time!", "What are some things I can do at night, to make my morning easier? I have such a hard time before work remembering everything and getting out the door in time!", "What are some things I can do at night, to make my morning easier? I have such a hard time before work remembering everything and getting out the door in time!", "What are some things I can do at night, to make my morning easier? I have such a hard time before work remembering everything and getting out the door in time!", "What are some things I can do at night, to make my morning easier? I have such a hard time before work remembering everything and getting out the door in time!", "What are some things I can do at night, to make my morning easier? I have such a hard time before work remembering everything and getting out the door in time!", "What are some things I can do at night, to make my morning easier? I have such a hard time before work remembering everything and getting out the door in time!" ]

[ "This is 1:31AM here - what takes me to tip #1\n\n- Don't use eletronic devices in bed. As someone said here, put them away 30min-1h before you go to sleep. \n\n- Take some time to create a to-do list for the next day. Do this every day and you'll be much more productive the day after. \n\n\n- Get your clothes ready for the next day. Including socks and underwear \n\n- Think about everything you did before you sleep. That's a good way to fall asleep faster and to be find opportunities to improved your routine.", "Try sleeping.\n\n\nJoke aside, it's all about setting routines. Many of them already stated here. Do it for a while, though its gonna be hard at first, it'll become more naturally eventually. As with everything in life.\nThe most important one I can think of is avoiding the snooze button completely! This really makes a difference. \nGood luck m8", "Stop using electronic devices (phones, tablets, computers, TVs, etc.) 30 minutes-1 hour before you go to bed. The LEDs in the screens are calibrated to resemble natural sunlight, which can trick your brain into thinking it's still daytime and therefore still time to be awake. \n\nThere are apps you can install, such as fl.ux for your computer and iOS devices now have a feature built in that basically does the same thing, that changes the temperature of the LEDs to a warmer yellow or orange color as the day progresses based on your time zone. \n\nStill, I would just stick to putting your devices away. If you have trouble getting to sleep, I recommend reading a physical copy of a book in lower lighting, listening to less-intense music (no fast-paced songs, nothing super loud) or an audiobook, or even nature sounds. Obviously, if you choose the listening option, set a sleep timer so they'll turn off after a certain amount of time. ", "Put your car keys on top of the things you need to remember to bring with you the night before. That way you have to look at it, and it's all in a convenient stack.", "If you want to get crazy, prepare your clothes the way I learned to do in boot camp --- by laying them out in the order you plan to put them on. Create a stack of clothes... socks on top, then underwear, then undershirt, then pants with belt already in the loops, then your shirt, which should already be unbuttoned. I used to be able to get dressed in 30 secs flat. ", "If you drink coffee get a coffee maker where you can set the time for your coffee to be made. Prepare it before you go to bed keep wallet and keys In your vehicle if you are comfortable leaving your vehicle unlocked. If you are not put sticky notes on your stearing wheel. Frozen breakfasts aren't totally healthy but fast. I like Jimmy dean's breakfast bowls. Done in three minutes", "Google recipes for overnight oats. There are a lot of healthy and filling choices and cuts out breakfast prep!", "- Shower and shave before going to bed.\n- Prepare your lunch (and breakfast if you can eat at work) and put it in the fridge.\n- Put the clothes you're planning on wearing out somewhere visible.\n- Keys, shoes and wallet, and any other daily carry item in the same spot every night so theres no searching. " ]

[ 9, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to speed read I'm preparing for graduate school. As such, I want to get myself ready for all of the reading that I am going to have to do.\n\nWhat technique should I use to find that balance between speed and comprehension?", "How to speed read I'm preparing for graduate school. As such, I want to get myself ready for all of the reading that I am going to have to do.\n\nWhat technique should I use to find that balance between speed and comprehension?", "How to speed read I'm preparing for graduate school. As such, I want to get myself ready for all of the reading that I am going to have to do.\n\nWhat technique should I use to find that balance between speed and comprehension?", "How to speed read I'm preparing for graduate school. As such, I want to get myself ready for all of the reading that I am going to have to do.\n\nWhat technique should I use to find that balance between speed and comprehension?", "How to speed read I'm preparing for graduate school. As such, I want to get myself ready for all of the reading that I am going to have to do.\n\nWhat technique should I use to find that balance between speed and comprehension?", "How to speed read I'm preparing for graduate school. As such, I want to get myself ready for all of the reading that I am going to have to do.\n\nWhat technique should I use to find that balance between speed and comprehension?", "How to speed read I'm preparing for graduate school. As such, I want to get myself ready for all of the reading that I am going to have to do.\n\nWhat technique should I use to find that balance between speed and comprehension?", "How to speed read I'm preparing for graduate school. As such, I want to get myself ready for all of the reading that I am going to have to do.\n\nWhat technique should I use to find that balance between speed and comprehension?", "How to speed read I'm preparing for graduate school. As such, I want to get myself ready for all of the reading that I am going to have to do.\n\nWhat technique should I use to find that balance between speed and comprehension?" ]

[ "Take a book. Now take a normal piece of paper, and fold it about three times so its still wide, but not so long. Now you read, but you hold the paper over the text you just read. Then you try to move the paper faster, covering the text, and forcing you to read faster. Challenge yourself, write down how much you read in 5 minutes, and try to improve it.", "Tbh your going to read faster and understand what you are reading more **if you actually like it**. I became a fast reader because of rereading the back of a Cocoa Puffs box every day until the end of fifth grade, so yeah.", "I had a prof that gave us his \"trick\" that got him through grad reading. But do so at your own risk.\n\nRead the entire intro chapter at a normal speed and for each subsequent intro paragraph. For the rest, and I think this is the most important part, **the first sentence of each paragraph will/should be the topic of that paragraph**. Then skim the rest of the paragraph, but *don't* skip it entirely. Then read the concluding paragraph(s) and chapter at normal speed.\n\nI never tried this method whole heartedly, only once when I was cramming for a morning exam. I suggest trying it before committing to it.", "http://www.spreeder.com/app.php\n\nThis site apparently helps out, it forces your brain to move onto the next word.", "Try [spreedr] (https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/spreed-speed-read-the-web/ipikiaejjblmdopojhpejjmbedhlibno?hl=en-US) chrome plugin. Helps me a lot!", "In undergraduate school the classes I took were all taught in words whose definitions I already knew. It was easy to speed read then. Come law school and was an entirely new vocabulary. I don't suggest attempting to speed read if the grad school's vocabulary is new to you. Obviously I wasn't stupid in undergraduate school, but the language is so different in law school, I had to read with a Black's by my side. The intent in grad school is to learn, not rush through it. Rather than focusing on how to do it quickly, I respectfully suggest you ask how to absorb the material quickly, as your speed will dramatically fall well below that which you have already become accustomed.", "In college I took a sort of side class on speed reading. \n\nTL;DR: look slightly above and between words so your eye catches 2-3 words (to start), and bounce to the next grouping. Don't read each word individually in your mind's voice.", "I've never used speed reading, bc I don't find that I can fully comprehend and analyze the text if I'm rushing through it. In grad school I would fall into the opposite trap of trying to unpack every single sentence, term, concept, etc., which wasted a lot of time. \n\nThe most time efficient way to extract what you need from a reading, for me, was to get an overall idea of the basic arguments of the text by going through it once at a steady pace. I wouldn't stop to figure out terms or concepts, and I would gloss over anything that was so detail-oriented that I knew I wouldn't retain it without more a more scrutinous eye. Always read the conclusion throughly and use it as a guide. Once I was familiar with the text and the overall argument, I would go back to the most important parts and really delve into it. This method really helped me parse through what info was essential, rather than trying to take it all in. Hope this helps! ", "I read quite fast normally, and find myself turning the page before people around me. Im not trying to boast or anything but the way i did it was; when i was young i read alot, at school at home all the time, and over time you get faster and faster. So basically practice makes perfect!" ]

[ 7, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "Cleaning clogged drains (probably with hair) without a wire hanger I tried putting my wire hanger down the drain in my shower, but there is a weird bend which seems like it stops it. Is there anything else I can do without buying a snake or something else?", "Cleaning clogged drains (probably with hair) without a wire hanger I tried putting my wire hanger down the drain in my shower, but there is a weird bend which seems like it stops it. Is there anything else I can do without buying a snake or something else?", "Cleaning clogged drains (probably with hair) without a wire hanger I tried putting my wire hanger down the drain in my shower, but there is a weird bend which seems like it stops it. Is there anything else I can do without buying a snake or something else?", "Cleaning clogged drains (probably with hair) without a wire hanger I tried putting my wire hanger down the drain in my shower, but there is a weird bend which seems like it stops it. Is there anything else I can do without buying a snake or something else?", "Cleaning clogged drains (probably with hair) without a wire hanger I tried putting my wire hanger down the drain in my shower, but there is a weird bend which seems like it stops it. Is there anything else I can do without buying a snake or something else?", "Cleaning clogged drains (probably with hair) without a wire hanger I tried putting my wire hanger down the drain in my shower, but there is a weird bend which seems like it stops it. Is there anything else I can do without buying a snake or something else?", "Cleaning clogged drains (probably with hair) without a wire hanger I tried putting my wire hanger down the drain in my shower, but there is a weird bend which seems like it stops it. Is there anything else I can do without buying a snake or something else?" ]

[ "I've had some success with pouring baking soda mixed with water down the drain, and letting it sit for a while til the tub is empty, then dumping vinegar down. It makes a nice foamy business which might help. Bonus: no caustic chemicals. \n\nIf that doesn't work (or even in combination), run the water till it backs up in the tub, and go at it with a plunger. To really get it to work, you need to seal the overflow bit under the faucet.", "[Buy a Zip-It. It costs $2.50 and works wonders.](http://www.lowes.com/pd_161219-319-LX-00400_0__?productId=1038705&Ntt=zip+it&pl=1&currentURL=&facetInfo=)\n", "Put some liquid clorox bleach down the drain, let it \"work\" for ~30 minutes, rinse with hot water. voilà", "If you have long enough zip ties, you can cut notches into it and then push it down the drain:\n\nhttp://www.instructables.com/id/Unclog-your-sinks-drain-with-just-zip-ties/\n\nhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WbdOY9ZrXo", "My sink had been slow for years, then my mother's cousin came to visit and put baking soda down the drain followed by white vinegar. We did this 3 times then plunged then more baking soda and vinegar. Hair since before the dawn of time came out of the drain. The drain runs better than ever. ( I had already used draino etc a million times) Try this it works!!\n", "If your shower-head is connected to a flexible hose you can use water pressure: \n\nTurn the water off, unscrew the shower-head, shove the hose down the drain, and open up the water at maximum pressure and maximum temperature. Jiggle the hose around a bit, pushing it gently inward. It would most probably open up any clog. When done, turn off the water, remove the hose, and screw back the shower-head.\n", "There are specific drain unclogging chemicals geared specifically toward hair, and those typically work pretty well. \n\nI have long hair and used to have a problem with clogged shower drains. If possible, remove the metal stopper and use a small kitchen sink strainer in the hole. This prevents most of the hair from going down there in the first place. I've not had a drain clog since I started using one." ]

[ 6, 5, 3, 3, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "How to stay neutral when two friends are fighting. To add some background info, I've got two close friends (both females, I male) that are fighting. Both come to me complaining about the other, and I'm struggling to remain neutral in the entire thing (in my opinion, both are just wrong about the whole situation).", "How to stay neutral when two friends are fighting. To add some background info, I've got two close friends (both females, I male) that are fighting. Both come to me complaining about the other, and I'm struggling to remain neutral in the entire thing (in my opinion, both are just wrong about the whole situation).", "How to stay neutral when two friends are fighting. To add some background info, I've got two close friends (both females, I male) that are fighting. Both come to me complaining about the other, and I'm struggling to remain neutral in the entire thing (in my opinion, both are just wrong about the whole situation).", "How to stay neutral when two friends are fighting. To add some background info, I've got two close friends (both females, I male) that are fighting. Both come to me complaining about the other, and I'm struggling to remain neutral in the entire thing (in my opinion, both are just wrong about the whole situation).", "How to stay neutral when two friends are fighting. To add some background info, I've got two close friends (both females, I male) that are fighting. Both come to me complaining about the other, and I'm struggling to remain neutral in the entire thing (in my opinion, both are just wrong about the whole situation)." ]

[ "I suggest being a true American by backing both sides but then attacking the one that attacks you first.", "Well, there's option 1. You listen, and empathize about their feeling (\"I see you're angry, that sucks\"), but *do not engage into the details of the argument*. 2. You 'discourse' with them gently probing their arguments like you might if you didn't know both of them. (This one's tricky to pull off). 3 'The nuclear option' - Remove yourself/forbid discussion of the topic. You want to be there for your friend, but you're in the middle and you can't be a good friend to either in this case. 4. Sit them down, force them to actually communicate with each other, and you moderate until they work it out. (This is only for very experienced fools.)", "Poor guy. If you were a female you could just talk shit about each of the. behind their backs! People like you are why I'm friends with males instead of females. You do you! Try and be honest, but I don't know your friends well enough to gauge their responses...", "Just tell them you're Switzerland and you're not taking sides.\nOn the plus side they stop bitching at you, on the negative they may look at you as the common enemy and now they stop fighting and start dissing you. There is an outside chance they are fighting for your affections, and whomever you side with proves that one's point. As a woman, you're in a no win situation, so stick with rule one until they sort it out. ", "i just tell them both i dont want to pick sides and stick by that. if you change your opinion and think one is correct just tell the other \"i agree with [other person] and i think your wrong this time, but I still respect you and hope it doesnt affect our friendship\"" ]

[ 12, 9, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "When is it okay to toot your own horn? How and when is it okay to point out a particular strength of yours without coming off as arrogant?", "When is it okay to toot your own horn? How and when is it okay to point out a particular strength of yours without coming off as arrogant?" ]

[ "There's a famous saying and I'm sorry I don't know who said it but \" if you're good at something you'll tell everyone, if you're are great at something they will tell you.\"", "Anything work related, personal life, yeah sure, be modest. \n\nBut I feel the workplace life is very much 'every man for themself', if you do a good job, and you can get away without seeming like an arrogant prick, I'd say take it, I casually drop comments that I've done something good, because I mean, hell it's one way to get ahead. " ]

[ 3, 3 ]

[ "How to stop overthinking? Hello everyone.\n\nSo, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem. It's been a problem for my whole life and it still is. I think it ruins me.\n\nFor example, something embarrassing happens to me and after that, my head is full of thoughts and replays of the event. I think about it and it makes me feel nervous, bad.\n\nAlso, another example. I spend more money than expected on something and I even stress and overthink about it. Like, I'm going to work tomorrow after vacation and I overthink and feel nervous about returning to work.\n\nIs there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?", "How to stop overthinking? Hello everyone.\n\nSo, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem. It's been a problem for my whole life and it still is. I think it ruins me.\n\nFor example, something embarrassing happens to me and after that, my head is full of thoughts and replays of the event. I think about it and it makes me feel nervous, bad.\n\nAlso, another example. I spend more money than expected on something and I even stress and overthink about it. Like, I'm going to work tomorrow after vacation and I overthink and feel nervous about returning to work.\n\nIs there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?", "How to stop overthinking? Hello everyone.\n\nSo, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem. It's been a problem for my whole life and it still is. I think it ruins me.\n\nFor example, something embarrassing happens to me and after that, my head is full of thoughts and replays of the event. I think about it and it makes me feel nervous, bad.\n\nAlso, another example. I spend more money than expected on something and I even stress and overthink about it. Like, I'm going to work tomorrow after vacation and I overthink and feel nervous about returning to work.\n\nIs there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?", "How to stop overthinking? Hello everyone.\n\nSo, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem. It's been a problem for my whole life and it still is. I think it ruins me.\n\nFor example, something embarrassing happens to me and after that, my head is full of thoughts and replays of the event. I think about it and it makes me feel nervous, bad.\n\nAlso, another example. I spend more money than expected on something and I even stress and overthink about it. Like, I'm going to work tomorrow after vacation and I overthink and feel nervous about returning to work.\n\nIs there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?", "How to stop overthinking? Hello everyone.\n\nSo, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem. It's been a problem for my whole life and it still is. I think it ruins me.\n\nFor example, something embarrassing happens to me and after that, my head is full of thoughts and replays of the event. I think about it and it makes me feel nervous, bad.\n\nAlso, another example. I spend more money than expected on something and I even stress and overthink about it. Like, I'm going to work tomorrow after vacation and I overthink and feel nervous about returning to work.\n\nIs there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?", "How to stop overthinking? Hello everyone.\n\nSo, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem. It's been a problem for my whole life and it still is. I think it ruins me.\n\nFor example, something embarrassing happens to me and after that, my head is full of thoughts and replays of the event. I think about it and it makes me feel nervous, bad.\n\nAlso, another example. I spend more money than expected on something and I even stress and overthink about it. Like, I'm going to work tomorrow after vacation and I overthink and feel nervous about returning to work.\n\nIs there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?", "How to stop overthinking? Hello everyone.\n\nSo, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem. It's been a problem for my whole life and it still is. I think it ruins me.\n\nFor example, something embarrassing happens to me and after that, my head is full of thoughts and replays of the event. I think about it and it makes me feel nervous, bad.\n\nAlso, another example. I spend more money than expected on something and I even stress and overthink about it. Like, I'm going to work tomorrow after vacation and I overthink and feel nervous about returning to work.\n\nIs there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?", "How to stop overthinking? Hello everyone.\n\nSo, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem. It's been a problem for my whole life and it still is. I think it ruins me.\n\nFor example, something embarrassing happens to me and after that, my head is full of thoughts and replays of the event. I think about it and it makes me feel nervous, bad.\n\nAlso, another example. I spend more money than expected on something and I even stress and overthink about it. Like, I'm going to work tomorrow after vacation and I overthink and feel nervous about returning to work.\n\nIs there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?", "How to stop overthinking? Hello everyone.\n\nSo, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem. It's been a problem for my whole life and it still is. I think it ruins me.\n\nFor example, something embarrassing happens to me and after that, my head is full of thoughts and replays of the event. I think about it and it makes me feel nervous, bad.\n\nAlso, another example. I spend more money than expected on something and I even stress and overthink about it. Like, I'm going to work tomorrow after vacation and I overthink and feel nervous about returning to work.\n\nIs there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?", "How to stop overthinking? Hello everyone.\n\nSo, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem. It's been a problem for my whole life and it still is. I think it ruins me.\n\nFor example, something embarrassing happens to me and after that, my head is full of thoughts and replays of the event. I think about it and it makes me feel nervous, bad.\n\nAlso, another example. I spend more money than expected on something and I even stress and overthink about it. Like, I'm going to work tomorrow after vacation and I overthink and feel nervous about returning to work.\n\nIs there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?", "How to stop overthinking? Hello everyone.\n\nSo, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem. It's been a problem for my whole life and it still is. I think it ruins me.\n\nFor example, something embarrassing happens to me and after that, my head is full of thoughts and replays of the event. I think about it and it makes me feel nervous, bad.\n\nAlso, another example. I spend more money than expected on something and I even stress and overthink about it. Like, I'm going to work tomorrow after vacation and I overthink and feel nervous about returning to work.\n\nIs there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?", "How to stop overthinking? Hello everyone.\n\nSo, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem. It's been a problem for my whole life and it still is. I think it ruins me.\n\nFor example, something embarrassing happens to me and after that, my head is full of thoughts and replays of the event. I think about it and it makes me feel nervous, bad.\n\nAlso, another example. I spend more money than expected on something and I even stress and overthink about it. Like, I'm going to work tomorrow after vacation and I overthink and feel nervous about returning to work.\n\nIs there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?", "How to stop overthinking? Hello everyone.\n\nSo, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem. It's been a problem for my whole life and it still is. I think it ruins me.\n\nFor example, something embarrassing happens to me and after that, my head is full of thoughts and replays of the event. I think about it and it makes me feel nervous, bad.\n\nAlso, another example. I spend more money than expected on something and I even stress and overthink about it. Like, I'm going to work tomorrow after vacation and I overthink and feel nervous about returning to work.\n\nIs there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?" ]

[ "I am also terrible with this. I saw a behavioral psychologist who taught me ways to relax and clear my head. Mostly just deep breathing exercises, and sometimes m", "I say, if you are nervous just say it, as in tell the people you are with you feel nervous. If you do something and are embarrassed, just tell the people that you are with that it made you feel embarrassed. First, once you say it out loud you will feel it less. Second, you are human and we all feel the same way so it will help people relate to you and they will like you more.", "Visualization works really well for me. A guided m", "I used to fixate on embarrassing events for years after they happened. I used to suppress them then they would crop up again later. it still happens from time to time but now I'm able to catch myself doing it and let go after a little while.\n\nI guess one approach is to think about why and how you put such a high price on embarrassment. Think about your thinking, and maybe you'll arrive at understanding and accepting yourself. You're not broken. Talking to other people can help, but for me talking to myself (figuratively speaking) helped the most. \n\nOne thing to remember - other people don't put anything like the amount of value on these events as you do, in fact they're happy to proceed as if they didnt happen, only a bully would act otherwise.", "> So, I'm looking for an advice, book, videos or anything that could help me solve overthinking problem.\n\nMaybe the problem is that you are trying to learn how to stop overthinking before stop overthinking. And that is overthinking by itself. And that is an endless curl.\n\nThe only way to stop overthinking is actually stop overthinking. I am not kidding.\n\nIs not for today, is a long term practice, is training for the brain to be more conscious. So focus on something and try to continue focusing even you have the urge to overthink, and your head will overthink a lot at the first times, then try again, and try... and train, and try....... Forget about any other books or tricks they all are different ways to say the same. Keep training your consciousness and your brain will gradually overthink less at the long term.\n\n> Is there a good way to relax and not always think about this things?\n\nDo it! + attitude of stop overthinking.\n\nI know is the obvious thing to say.... But, likely is the only way. Is something that needs to be trained but is as simple as do it till the brain get used to be more conscious. Sometimes is a hard work, but that is.\n\nAlso the attitude is important because is the way we build our ideas against something that worry us. You are now worrying about your overthinking. You are minding your overthinking, so you are actually overthinking about overthinking ;-). And that doesn't help to come out of the curl of overthinking. Overthink is like a response of the body for the problems. But you don't need to give room in your head for worry about overthinking. If your attitude change to not to worry about it, that actually will help a lot to reduce the body response for overthinking at the long term. Is not for tomorrow but if you \"fake\" that attitude it has results in the future, and become the attitude.\n\nOk to be honest the very first times is really hard to relax by trying to be conscious. But sadly the only way is doing it till you reach that state when you don't overthink that much.\n\nOverthinking is a normal thing. But we are free to do things and keep our mind in different task by accepting that our brain overthinks. The less we care, the less our brain will overthink. The strongest attitude the better. \n\nAlthough again there is only one way to change the attitude. We can not change our attitude for a long term by just thinking \"I want to have this attitude\". The only way to change that attitude for a long term is stop overthinking. So we came back to the beginning of this message. We have to stop overthinking first and then our attitude will change as a consequence. \n\n* Stop overthink --- leads to ---> Overthink less (pretty obvious)\n* Stop overthink ----leads to----> Better attitude to face overthinking. that feedback less overthinking.\n\nSo whatever: the only way possible is stop overthinking!!! be conscious of it!!! from the very beginning. Other approaches are scatterbrain. (sorry if this sound such as an obvious thing,....). Even at the beginning is difficult we should not become frustrated, is normal to have an slow beginning, is a long process, intended for a long term, and results may come at the long term. But there is no other way.\n\nPD: It may help to take account of your results, be it baby steps or big results, to keep motivated of your progress and continue the journey to overthink less :)", "Well if you do something embarrassing. You'll be embarrassed for the moment but in a day or two, no one is going to really care. So think of it like this. They don't really care all that deeply. Only you care and you caring about how others think of you will just make you over think it. Get rid of rid of the people thinking about you part and you'll be fine. \n\nIdk I used this method but in a different scenario. I used to be embarrassed when I bought Pokémon cards or something but then I realized people don't really care what I am doing. This was kind of long but hope it helps.\n\ntl;dr People don't really care what you're doing. Stop thinking about it.", "Tl;dr for the following:You have to forgive yourself for being human, and have reasonable emotional resilience to protect yourself from those people who will never forgive you for making human errors. \n\nActually accomplishing this is difficult to do and different for everyone.\n\nFor me, it involved:\n\n1) cutting contact with my family (negative people who wouldn't give me personal space or define myself how I wanted) and focusing on being a self-motivated person as much as possible. \n\n2) Forgiving myself for being human and making mistakes. \n\n3) I wrote up a guild journal for a while, and would read it from time to time, I could see how I would overreact to things, which gave me the perspective I needed to dissect them and stop). Yes, feeling guilty about needing a guilt journal *was* one of the entries. Having it in the journal helped me work through it.\n\n4) Collecting examples of healthy human behavior that relaxed me. Things like people being supportive, people asking for help when they're scared of something. Someone getting ridiculed for making a mistake and deflecting the ridicule with grace and dignity. Also reading psychological studies, and following activist circles (some activists can be abusive too, that's why you focus on the stuff that helps you calm down).\n\n5) Be prepared for it to take time, years is common. People don't change completely overnight, but they do change incrementally over time.\n", "This is what's helped me:\n\nStep 1: Realize you're​ overthinking. And say it out loud.\n\nStep 2: Talk to yourself. Use your name. Say what you're feeling out loud for as long as you need.\n\nStep 3: After, sit back, take a deeeeeep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Feel your muscles relaxing as you exhale. Do this 3 or 4 times.\n\nStep 4: Close your eyes, count your breaths. 1 count for each inhale, 1 for each exhale, up to 10, then start over.\n\nDo that for as long as you need. Your body will naturally enter a state of calm. If you can do it outside, then even better. \n\nPersonally for me, visualizing things doesn't help, because I can't get over my anxious thoughts. I need to get my feelings out, then I need to physically calm myself down. \n\nAfterwords, I feel amazing. ", "Not gonna profess to know about psychology, but don't smoke weed.\n\nI will always advocate cannabis as a recreational drug, but people seem to prescribe it for this a lot... I can safely say in my experience it's a short term solution to a long term problem, and with me, I think exacerbated it.\n\nIt will take away your fears for the time you're high, but they come straight back... every time you smile you get more and more away you are temporarily hiding from your problems.\n\nBlaze it! But not to escape.", "Life is just distractions from your problems (Yeah, those memes aren't wrong). So, distract yourself. Go to the store, do a pushup, talk outloud to yourself, etc", "I read the book You Are Not Your Brain by Schwartz and it has helped me a lot! It even has simple exercises you can do. I hope this helps! ", "I have to consciously tell myself not to do it. I am an overthinker, and last week, with 2 days off work before a weekend, I told myself \"get out of thine own head\". It helped tremendously. I was able to ride my bike like I used to, was able to do 2 film auditions better than any I've done in a while, not worry about family, and speak to this smoking hot chick at the gym.", "Don't listen to music that might trigger negative emotions like sadness, melancholy , etc. Also you should talk to someone about it .. maybe a best friend." ]

[ 5, 4, 3, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to stop annoying refrigerator buzzing sound. You know what I mean. \"BzzZZZzzzzzZZzZZzzzzZZzZZzzz\".", "How to stop annoying refrigerator buzzing sound. You know what I mean. \"BzzZZZzzzzzZZzZZzzzzZZzZZzzz\".", "How to stop annoying refrigerator buzzing sound. You know what I mean. \"BzzZZZzzzzzZZzZZzzzzZZzZZzzz\".", "How to stop annoying refrigerator buzzing sound. You know what I mean. \"BzzZZZzzzzzZZzZZzzzzZZzZZzzz\"." ]

[ "Try nudging and shifting the fridge a little. My buddies in appliance repair would tell me the stories of \"how do I get my refrigerator to stop buzzing loudly?\" almost every other day. They would be astounded how easy it was to solve this problem.\n\nAnd don't be afraid to nudge it properly. It's a 92kg fridge, it can take a little tough love.", "that sound is the motor/compressor working... if you want to stop it just unplug the fridge thats the only guarantee to stop it. ", "If the buzz is in your freezer (sometimes applies to a very cold fridge too) take the cover off the inside fan (usually at the back) and manually rotate it while pushing gently on each fan blade. \n\nYou'll most probably find it scrapes a small amount of ice on its way round, just apply more pressure to the fan blade and scrape it off by moving the fan back n forward. \n\nSource: lots of loud fridges..", "Pull the refrigerator away from the wall further, and try cleaning the coils. After unplugging the fridge, try a bit of hot soapy water, and a shop vac. Also clearing anything out of the freezer un needed, ice build up, old left overs. \n\nOr you could pull the Tim Taylor and install an out-board boat motor." ]

[ 6, 3, 3, 2 ]

[ "How to make real, good chocolate milk. I'm not talking about nesquik or chocolate syrup and milk, I mean real chocolate milk.", "How to make real, good chocolate milk. I'm not talking about nesquik or chocolate syrup and milk, I mean real chocolate milk." ]

[ "Pretty similar to throwawayguy88 but if you have a magic bullet, that is the best chocolate milk maker ever. Use 3/4 whole milk with 1/4 heavy whipping cream and stutter blend 5-10 times 2 seconds a piece", "The way we do it here is very quick and easier than melting/blending chocolate and cream.\n\nTake a tablespoon (I like 2) of cocoa powder and put it in your glass with a teaspoon (you can add more for ++sweetness) of sugar. Add a little water (I like to use warm/hot, just a spoon or two) and mix it around till it's a paste/mixed together. This is because the powder is hard to mix into the milk. Once it's pasty and mostly mixed together, fill up with milk. Stir more!\n\nAdjust amounts to your liking. This is what I would use for a 3/4 - 1 cup glass. It's very chocolatey, and not too sweet.\n\nEnjoy!" ]

[ 2, 1 ]

[ "opening battery (and similar) packaging Batteries and a few other things are packaged with a plastic front and cardboard back. The cardboard back usually has a perforation down the middle, sometimes with a little tab.\n\nWith batteries, I don't normally need to use all of them at once and would like to put remaining away in original packaging to tape it up or resort to putting it another container. Is there a way to open it this way without mangling the packaging, or was that never intended?", "opening battery (and similar) packaging Batteries and a few other things are packaged with a plastic front and cardboard back. The cardboard back usually has a perforation down the middle, sometimes with a little tab.\n\nWith batteries, I don't normally need to use all of them at once and would like to put remaining away in original packaging to tape it up or resort to putting it another container. Is there a way to open it this way without mangling the packaging, or was that never intended?", "opening battery (and similar) packaging Batteries and a few other things are packaged with a plastic front and cardboard back. The cardboard back usually has a perforation down the middle, sometimes with a little tab.\n\nWith batteries, I don't normally need to use all of them at once and would like to put remaining away in original packaging to tape it up or resort to putting it another container. Is there a way to open it this way without mangling the packaging, or was that never intended?", "opening battery (and similar) packaging Batteries and a few other things are packaged with a plastic front and cardboard back. The cardboard back usually has a perforation down the middle, sometimes with a little tab.\n\nWith batteries, I don't normally need to use all of them at once and would like to put remaining away in original packaging to tape it up or resort to putting it another container. Is there a way to open it this way without mangling the packaging, or was that never intended?" ]

[ "I’m pretty sure these types of packages were designed so you try as hard as you can to delicately and neatly open the package to preserve the structural integrity but you end up viciously tearing it to shreds and keeping the left over contents in a sandwich baggie.....", "cut a rectangular hole on the cardboard side, on the very end, that is JUST big enough for a single battery to fit through. That way only one pops out at a time and you havent mangled the entire package. ", "Those slots are to make it easier to get into the pack and vent trapped air from the pack during the sealing process. Some packs come in re-closeable clamshells, but there needs to be a lot of batteries per pack to justify the cost.", "I guess I just don't believe the perforations are just to help you tear open the packaging because I find it's really hard to tear along those perforations. If it's that much effort there to do so, I assumed it was because there might be a way to reuse the packaging rather than to tear off the plastic and toss it all immediately. " ]

[ 4, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "What is something I can do in my free time that is as mindless as videogames but is actually productive or will better me as a person? When I was a kid whenever I had free time I'd load up Pokemon in my gameboy and it was a great way to kill time. Now that I'm grown up I'm looking for a similar kind of time sink that may actually provide something useful for me.", "What is something I can do in my free time that is as mindless as videogames but is actually productive or will better me as a person? When I was a kid whenever I had free time I'd load up Pokemon in my gameboy and it was a great way to kill time. Now that I'm grown up I'm looking for a similar kind of time sink that may actually provide something useful for me.", "What is something I can do in my free time that is as mindless as videogames but is actually productive or will better me as a person? When I was a kid whenever I had free time I'd load up Pokemon in my gameboy and it was a great way to kill time. Now that I'm grown up I'm looking for a similar kind of time sink that may actually provide something useful for me.", "What is something I can do in my free time that is as mindless as videogames but is actually productive or will better me as a person? When I was a kid whenever I had free time I'd load up Pokemon in my gameboy and it was a great way to kill time. Now that I'm grown up I'm looking for a similar kind of time sink that may actually provide something useful for me.", "What is something I can do in my free time that is as mindless as videogames but is actually productive or will better me as a person? When I was a kid whenever I had free time I'd load up Pokemon in my gameboy and it was a great way to kill time. Now that I'm grown up I'm looking for a similar kind of time sink that may actually provide something useful for me.", "What is something I can do in my free time that is as mindless as videogames but is actually productive or will better me as a person? When I was a kid whenever I had free time I'd load up Pokemon in my gameboy and it was a great way to kill time. Now that I'm grown up I'm looking for a similar kind of time sink that may actually provide something useful for me.", "What is something I can do in my free time that is as mindless as videogames but is actually productive or will better me as a person? When I was a kid whenever I had free time I'd load up Pokemon in my gameboy and it was a great way to kill time. Now that I'm grown up I'm looking for a similar kind of time sink that may actually provide something useful for me.", "What is something I can do in my free time that is as mindless as videogames but is actually productive or will better me as a person? When I was a kid whenever I had free time I'd load up Pokemon in my gameboy and it was a great way to kill time. Now that I'm grown up I'm looking for a similar kind of time sink that may actually provide something useful for me.", "What is something I can do in my free time that is as mindless as videogames but is actually productive or will better me as a person? When I was a kid whenever I had free time I'd load up Pokemon in my gameboy and it was a great way to kill time. Now that I'm grown up I'm looking for a similar kind of time sink that may actually provide something useful for me.", "What is something I can do in my free time that is as mindless as videogames but is actually productive or will better me as a person? When I was a kid whenever I had free time I'd load up Pokemon in my gameboy and it was a great way to kill time. Now that I'm grown up I'm looking for a similar kind of time sink that may actually provide something useful for me.", "What is something I can do in my free time that is as mindless as videogames but is actually productive or will better me as a person? When I was a kid whenever I had free time I'd load up Pokemon in my gameboy and it was a great way to kill time. Now that I'm grown up I'm looking for a similar kind of time sink that may actually provide something useful for me." ]

[ ">mindless \n\nHow dare you \n\nAnyway, I've gotten back into painting recently. Great way to chill out and at the end of it you've got a sweet picture to hang on the wall or gift to a friend or burn because it's fucking ugly and I'm a terrible person I'll never be an artist I'm a piece of shit I'm a piece of shit loser fuck fuck fuck", "Read books. Every successful person has done this. Expands mind with experience of others in shortest time. Start with books that interest you. ", "Taking up an instrument can be a rewarding hobby you work on at your own pace. It's no coincidence that Guitar Hero, Rock Band, and other rhythm based games are so popular among gamers. Go for something like DDR or Just Dance if you want a bit more exercise.", "I like to watch documentaries or conferences about things in interested in. Sometimes I'll throw some how to videos in there too but when I'm feeling mindless, the less technical the better.\nI do Web Development and a big portion of my day is finding new sales. Something like Jordan Belfort straight line sales videos is a good example of related topics and tasks. Some days these videos even replace my background music\nThis technique can be used for leisure activities. I enjoy airsoft on the weekends so occasionally I will watch videos on how to trouble shoot guns and clean them. \nOther times Ive looked into glass making and home brewing because I've debated picking that up as a hobby.\nI find these subconscience learned skills very useful because they help make quicker, more educated decisions on the fly or out and about. ", "Knitting. Once you got the hang of it you can do it while watching tv or chatting to friends/family. You might have time to be good enough to knit christmas gifts if you partake in christmas!?", "For what it's worth, and this is targeted at others and not necessarily you, sometimes doing something totally meaningless just because you enjoy it is what makes you 'a better person', if there's such a thing. Know thyself, and all. I mean, sure, a lot of successful people are good at shit, but a lot of them aren't that happy. Children are the happiest people of all, and most of them are totally useless at shit; a baby with some stupid sounding rattle is probably happier than almost every millionaire. ", "Khan Academy or DuoLinguo can be played for a few minutes at a time and are similar to video games with XP, leveling, and unlocks. Plus you can learn something new, or review what you learned a long time ago.", "I like to smoke and rock in my hammock. Every thought left my mind. It was the equivalent resting your feet after standing up for a long time. Resting and m", "Create games for mobile devices so you can make back all the money you spent on games in your youth. You can learn Android development for free at Google.", "If you want to help mankind with a vidyuh game look into the protein folding games... For science!\n\n\nIf you wanna help yourself with some risk you could take up poker. Find a free app and learn how to play well. IF you're good you can try your hand at local tables. Again, if you don't know how to stop you'll lose your money, house, dog, etc.\n\n\nIf you wanna help yourself with no risk (not vidyuh games) consider driving for uber. It's mindless, you can do it in your spare time, and its money in the pocket.", "For productive, use any of the citizen scientist type apps to categorize nebula (Galaxy Zoo) or similar.\n\nTo improve yourself, use something that actively engages your mind rather than just mindlessly reading or listening to podcasts, a challenging game you interact with, particularly strategy games." ]

[ 53, 27, 10, 7, 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to bargain with a potential employer for a better starting wage? I just had an interview for a cook position at a swanky restaurant downtown, and I'm supposed to hear by this evening whether or not I got the job. The interview went really well, I think, but we haven't discussed compensation yet. I got my foot in the door originally because I know someone who works in HR there, and they told me that cooks start out around 10 dollars an hour. The thing is, I'm used to making 12-15 dollars an hour depending on business at my last job, because we had tip share. I also believe I have some bargaining power because I am set up for orientation for a server position on Monday, where I could supposedly make $500-1000 a week. The kitchen job is preferable though, because it's closer, more stable and I just like working in kitchens better.\n\nMy question is, what is the best way to negotiate a better starting rate? I've never done this before, but it's my understanding that it's much easier to negotiate things like your schedule or compensation if you do it right from the start. I have a lot of experience and the leverage of having another well-paying job ready to start soon.\n\nAlso, it's really too late to even matter right now, but do you think it was a mistake to not bring this up during the interview? I thought I'd wait until I knew for sure if they wanted to hire me before discussing compensation, but I'm not totally sure if that was the way to go.", "How to bargain with a potential employer for a better starting wage? I just had an interview for a cook position at a swanky restaurant downtown, and I'm supposed to hear by this evening whether or not I got the job. The interview went really well, I think, but we haven't discussed compensation yet. I got my foot in the door originally because I know someone who works in HR there, and they told me that cooks start out around 10 dollars an hour. The thing is, I'm used to making 12-15 dollars an hour depending on business at my last job, because we had tip share. I also believe I have some bargaining power because I am set up for orientation for a server position on Monday, where I could supposedly make $500-1000 a week. The kitchen job is preferable though, because it's closer, more stable and I just like working in kitchens better.\n\nMy question is, what is the best way to negotiate a better starting rate? I've never done this before, but it's my understanding that it's much easier to negotiate things like your schedule or compensation if you do it right from the start. I have a lot of experience and the leverage of having another well-paying job ready to start soon.\n\nAlso, it's really too late to even matter right now, but do you think it was a mistake to not bring this up during the interview? I thought I'd wait until I knew for sure if they wanted to hire me before discussing compensation, but I'm not totally sure if that was the way to go.", "How to bargain with a potential employer for a better starting wage? I just had an interview for a cook position at a swanky restaurant downtown, and I'm supposed to hear by this evening whether or not I got the job. The interview went really well, I think, but we haven't discussed compensation yet. I got my foot in the door originally because I know someone who works in HR there, and they told me that cooks start out around 10 dollars an hour. The thing is, I'm used to making 12-15 dollars an hour depending on business at my last job, because we had tip share. I also believe I have some bargaining power because I am set up for orientation for a server position on Monday, where I could supposedly make $500-1000 a week. The kitchen job is preferable though, because it's closer, more stable and I just like working in kitchens better.\n\nMy question is, what is the best way to negotiate a better starting rate? I've never done this before, but it's my understanding that it's much easier to negotiate things like your schedule or compensation if you do it right from the start. I have a lot of experience and the leverage of having another well-paying job ready to start soon.\n\nAlso, it's really too late to even matter right now, but do you think it was a mistake to not bring this up during the interview? I thought I'd wait until I knew for sure if they wanted to hire me before discussing compensation, but I'm not totally sure if that was the way to go." ]

[ "Tell them 10.00 to start, review in 90 days to the wage/compensation you want. Make sure you keep track of your 90 days, and go back to HR to initiate them to review. ", "PDF on Successful Salary Negotiation from the University of South Carolina: http://www.sc.edu/career/Pdf/salary.pdf", "If they wanted to talk about it they would have asked. \n\nIf you have another job lined up at this point I would wait for them to contact you and make you an offer. If they make an offer, ask for $15 and secure vacation time or planned days off in the next 180 days (plan for holidays). \n\nThey'll either meet you in the middle or give you what your asking for. Hiring is a bitch, if you have a good reputation and someone has recommended you they'll be willing to pay a little more to reduce the risk of an unknown candidate. \n\nIf you get the job, just remember someone recommended you, don't fuck them over by sucking." ]

[ 3, 1, 1 ]

[ "how to efficiently organize your dishwasher? I have my own system which I like to think I have perfected. But I'm looking for any other nifty tricks you might find useful. ", "how to efficiently organize your dishwasher? I have my own system which I like to think I have perfected. But I'm looking for any other nifty tricks you might find useful. ", "how to efficiently organize your dishwasher? I have my own system which I like to think I have perfected. But I'm looking for any other nifty tricks you might find useful. ", "how to efficiently organize your dishwasher? I have my own system which I like to think I have perfected. But I'm looking for any other nifty tricks you might find useful. ", "how to efficiently organize your dishwasher? I have my own system which I like to think I have perfected. But I'm looking for any other nifty tricks you might find useful. " ]

[ "This largely depends on what kind of dishwasher you have and the size of your dishes. Arrange all the bowls and stagger them the save room. I also only put plastic containers on the top rack. The force of the water makes them flip over and fill with water if they are on the bottom", "Dont let people who are going to do it wrong put their dishes in or else you just have to redo it afterwards. Terribly inefficient", "It depends on the design of your dishwasher and the size of your dishes, but the rule of thumb is to organize by dish type/size. Stack all the bowls in one area so they can overlap and take up less space overall. If you have two parallel rows of dishes [like so](http://applianceknow.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/dishwasher-2.jpg), put big plates in one row and little plates in the other. If you have big plates in both, the edges with knock together and the plates will chip.", "I usually do cups in the top bowls and plates in the bottom, I don't see how you can do this wrong because it's just water shooting all over so it's getting clean almost no matter what ", "I always though dishwashers should have a option when buying them. They could come with perfectly matching dishes and bowels the load in to make the machine run as efficiently as possible. " ]

[ 7, 3, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. 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We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. 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We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. 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We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. 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We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. 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We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. 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We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. 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We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. 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We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. 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We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n", "How to help family friends who just found out their kid has cancer? We just found out that our friends' five year old has cancer. We have a son the same age. We want to help - effectively - but don't know what to do. We have money, time and a willingness to help, but don't want to be overbearing or ignorant of what they really need. What should we do?\n\n" ]

[ "I am not a parent of a child with cancer but a single parent of two little ones who is going through cancer treatments. What has been most helpful for me is when someone TELLS me what they are going to do instead of asking me to tell them what I need. \"I am going to bring you lunch next week, what day works?\" \"I have some extra mulch, what day is good for me to top off your flower beds?\" \"I want to keep (insert baby's name) for you this weekend. What is a good time for me to come get him?\" And think about something you can do that may seem frivolous. When I was going through chemo my yard looked horrible. The bushes needed trimming, the beds needed mulch, etc. I hated telling someone that is what I needed help with when they offered because it seemed silly. But it really bothered me to see the yard look like that. Also, one of the best things someone did for me is come over with her husband and teen children, get my Christmas tree down from the attic, set it up and put the lights on. Plus they brought dinner! I did not have the energy for this and, granted, I did specifically request help with this task, but someone else might not be comfortable doing that. It gave my daughter and me a normal Christmas last year. Something else I specifically asked for help with was running errands. It was so overwhelming for me to get the baby in and out of the car for all these little Christmas errands (in to a store for one thing). My mom came with me and dropped me off at the curb, stayed in the car with the baby and I was able to pop in and out of stores quickly and easily. It was wonderful! I got so much done and it didn't deplete my energy. ", "Personally, I would try to feed them (dinner invites or delivery of food) or I would offer to mow.\n\nThat's my go-to ways of helping people. It's the little things that add up. \n\n", "Child cancer survivor here, this was 2 decades ago so it may not be as pertinent but I'll tell you what I remember. \n\nA family friend couple, doctors, who had a child of theirs pass a few years before I was diagnosed from the same cancer chipped in and bought several toys (some on the more expensive side, others just basic run of the mill toy store toys) and wrapped them up. The wrapped gifts were placed in a box and given to my parents. \n\n Every time I was scheduled to go into a session of chemotherapy I got to choose 1 gift and unwrap it. \n\nAlthough it did not fix the sickness it did ease the tension a child like I faced especially in those few months after the first chemo sessions. It gave me something positive to focus on. \n\nI am now 34 and have been cancer free for 20 years. I hope this helps you OP! \n\n", "I lost my 7 year old to brain cancer 2 years ago and can tell you that the most helpful stuff for us included people watching our other kids so we could both go to treatments. Food was appreciated, but make something simple, not an old family favorite, often times those are an acquired taste. Finally, I worked full time, so every now and then someone would invite me to lunch to just talk, or listen. Just the fact that you're concerned about what you can do shows that you're a good friend, that's appreciated.\n\n", "My dad had cancer. If you say you'll help... Then help. So many people said \"If you need anything...\" Then didn't do anything I asked them to. Even simple stuff like renting the memorial.", "If there are siblings, don't forget about them. Often the sick child is given all the attention and they are forgotten about. So if you buy a toy or game for the sick kid, try to remember to get a little something for the others, they will appreciate it. ", "One man's opinion here. I have brain cancer. No sympathy.... I'm 67 years old, have kids grand kids so this kind of end of time for me isn't sad or a hardship.\nI think what has been said is good advice. However, the thing I would advise, based upon my own experience is to avoid talking too much about the medical side. Do some normal talk that would go on if there was no cancer. Nothing is more wearing than repeating the details of the cancer treatments and their outcomes. I appreciate humor and conversational interaction.\nOne man's opinion", "Everyone has great suggestions with the ideas of food, childcare, etc. Their life is going to be taken over by this. Even with a great prognosis, they are looking at a lot of doctors appointments and time in the hospital. \n \n One thing no one else has mentioned, I don't think, but that is very important. Make sure you and your family guard your health well. Make sure you are all up to date on your vaccines, including your flu shots. Convince any other friends and family you know who will be around their family to make sure they are up to date as well. A bout of a preventable illness with a supressed immune system could kill a child in treatment for cancer. And obviously, stay away if any of you have any symptoms of illness. \n \n Knowing that you are helping protect their little one from illness will help take a load off of your friends too. It gives them safe people to spend time with and for their child to play with. Seems like something little, but it really is a big help. \n", "If you have the money, maybe offer to pay for a regular cleaning or landscaping service at whatever frequency you are comfortable paying for? I've gone through a couple of longer term medical scenarios when my kids were younger and just to have the floors, bathrooms and oven cleaned once a month or lawn service once a fortnight would have been amazing.", "My son is a cancer survivor (14 when diagnosed). This comes from experience.\n\n1) not all offers of help are needed or appreciated. Friends sent a cleaning crew to my house. Completely freaked my wife out that strangers were cleaning her house. Did not need that stress.\n\n2) take the other kids. My younger kids LIVED with other families for over a month. Offers of 2 hours babysitting here or there often just add logistical troubles. Offer to take kids for days if you can.\n\n3) watching pets and plants. \n\n4) Companionship for the kid is SUPER valuable. just leaving your kids there with movies and video games (and snacks, lots of snacks). This kid is going to be confined to hospital and home for long stretches. The boredom is depressing. My kid will forever remember the friends who could sit in the hospital room and just hang out. At 14, they could hang without parents for hours. At 5, you will probably need to be nearby at least. \n\n5) do not assume that your friends \"need to talk\" you may not be the person they want to talk to about the fear and anxiety. That is OK. If you try to take them there, they will find a way to not need you for any of the help you actually could provide.\n\n6) Food is good, but look around their house. If they are meat and potatoes folks, your gourmet vegan gluten free offerings are just going to sit in the fridge making them feel guilty for throwing it away eventually. \n\n7) The child will get to a point where mom and dad can (and really should) go on a date. Give a standing offer to watch kids (including the one with cancer, you will not break him) for a date night. Overnight if you can. \n\n", "In kindergarten my best friend and neighbor got cancer like three months into the school year. I brought home 2 extra sets of the arts and crafts we did at school and did them with him at his house. Once he was admitted to the hospital, I would call him and tell him what we did because I missed him.\n\nHis parents later told me this was one of the best things for him because it made him feel included. He still brings it up. Maybe your child could do the same thing.\n\n** This isn't meant to brag, just a suggestion from personal experience. ", "I was an older kid when I got cancer, but one thing that was a huge strain on my friends and family was that the huge outpouring of love and help we got completely dried up after a few months. Don't just be there for them now, be there the whole way. Be specific about offers to help (cook, etc.) b/c they might be too shy if you just offer a general offer of help given how many people say that but don't really mean it.", "When I was 14 (now 20), I was diagnosed with lymphoma. Little bit older but I assume many of the support structures my family had will still apply and help.\n\nWe had beautiful meals cooked for us by extended family and friends and dropped off to our home for those nights where everyone was tired or there wasn't time to cook after a long day of appointments - there were times our fridge was full of food that we didn't cook.\n\nI have two siblings and people offered to pick up/drop them off at school and extracurricular activities when my mum (dad was away working) wasn't able to due to time constraints or my being too sick. My aunts had my siblings stay with them overnight a couple of times to give them a breather from cancer stress. \n\nCompany doing things like grocery shopping was also appreciated by my mum, as well as knowing she had people she could call at the drop of a hat if I had an emergency. \n\nI can't think of any other examples off the top of my head but I will update if I think of any. My thoughts are with your friend's family. ", "My family was actually in this exact situation some years ago. My twin sister was diagnosed with cancer when we were 7. The things that helped most throughout those years were food and help with things around the house. Help cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, taking care of any pets while at the hospital, basically giving them one less thing to worry about is great. ", "Let them know you are available to help. Lend your ear and just listen. Do they have other children? Maybe they will need childcare or household chores done. ", "Preprepared home cooked meals is definitely a good idea and gas gift cards would help them out a lot as well.\n\nIf the family has any other children, treat the siblings to a fun day! Think about it: they are probably coped up in the hospital or their house all day, and it's probably miserable for them too. \nWhen I was younger, a childhood friend of mine had an accident and became paralyzed. We (my mom, sister and I) went to Six Flags and treated the older brother and his friend. We all ended up having a good time and it helped out their parents stress-wise.", "Childhood cancer survivor here. First of all, refer them to Make-a-wish. The family needs an uplifting experience in the midst of chaos. Our family trip to Hawaii reunited my family in a way that indescribable. Secondly, the best thing people did for my parents was send a cleaning lady once a week. And a neighbor bought us a deep freezer. A great gift considering the amount of casseroles and ready made meals we received (which were also amazing). Also, my little sister was frequently overlooked and under nurtured during my treatments since I was the focus of my parents. Friends who came over and took her out of the house or brought her gifts really made an impact regarding her importance. She still talks about it sometimes. ", "Girlfriend had leukemia in highschool and chimed in on this one. \n\n**Notes**\n\n* girlfriend was 15 and says things might differ at age 5\n* this kind of thing is highly individual, ask them openly what they need or would appreciate \n\n**Todo**\n\n* give people concrete options, saying \"tell me when you need anything\" doesn't work very well. Offer explicitly. \n* food is good, but try not to swamp them together with others. Also tastes and food requirements change. Many chemo patients are not allowed bacteria rich or risky foods like sushi or certain cheeses. But even a pot of peanut butter that was open for a while was not ok in her case \n* stick around after the first weeks, most people try to help at first and then drop away. Be sure to help on the long term\n* practical gifts are good. A comfy pyjama will see more is than a stuffed teddybear (again depending on the person) \n* when giving clothes buttons and zippers are good. Girlfriend had a permanent katheter and putting on zipperless stuff sucked. \n* offer support in practical things, chores and baby sitting can take a big toll on a family where care of the child is a dominant activity. Doing shopping, cooking, driving around etc is very helpful often \n* don't forget that this is hard in the whole family, so offer help for the whole family \n* before giving a patients \"favorite food\" check if their taste changed because of chemo\n\n\n**To not do**\n\n* do not give treatment advice unless asked\n* do not give unsolicited lifestyle advice\n* don't force your presence on them (e.g dinner) , they might be exhausted from dealing with their ordeal \n* again don't stop helping. In the beginning families get a lot of help, but after a few months this dies down. It only gets harder often.\n\n**TL;DR:** Most important is to ask what they need and to stick around for the long haul\n\n", "I was an older kid when I got cancer, but one thing that was a huge strain on my friends and family was that the huge outpouring of love and help we got completely dried up after a few months. Don't just be there for them now, be there the whole way. Be specific about offers to help (cook, etc.) b/c they might be too shy if you just offer a general offer of help given how many people say that but don't really mean it.", "Do they have other kids? They not only need childcare, they need attention! Take them out on a trip, to the movies, to a playground, a sports game, what they like. Many times these kids are forgotten by the parents. This is not bad parenting, just system overload. And keep an eye on those kids, let the parents know that they need attention. \n\nYou could turn this around, taking care of the sick kid, so (one of) the parents can have a day off with the healty kid(s). In the long run ignoring the other kids will result in problems. \n\nSame goes for the relationship. You could give both parents a day off, arranged and all, send them away for a short weekend, one night or something. Even if they can't enjoy it, it can help them realize that there is more in life, and that they need to take care of eachother as well. \n\nThese tips are maybe not for the short run, but if this is going to take half a year or more, or even several years, this will become very important. ", "Just something to be aware of- if you are someone who likes to send flowers, many hospital units don't allow them. And if the child is at home, I'd just double check with the parents before sending them because they could harbor pests, germs, and if nothing else, pollen. ", "Do things for them. And never expect to talk to them. \n\n My aunt had cancer and for 2 years no one in the family could post anything to social media without\" How is Lisa?\" from a well meaning person. If your friends are of the drinking variety, be ready to drink with them...in silence. They might need the company of adults without having to explain how they feel. Family and friends will be calling/facebooking/texting to no end asking how things are.\n\nThe battle your friends are going thru is going to be completely SAVAGE. There is no amount of talking that will help. One huge thing you can do(cost permitting) is grocery shop. If they come home with a tedious chore like that done, its an instant weight off of them. \n\nAs u/Thepurplesquirtle (great username) mentioned, cooking a meal. Crockpots are awesome for that. A warm pot roast is therapy. My dad knew the garage code for some friends going thru something similar, he would go over with a crockpot of something and plug it in.\n\nAll and all, the largest issue we can face as supporters is becoming too intrusive. So, unless asked... be a helpful ninja.\n\n", "I thankfully haven't had any experience specifically with cancer, but my oldest daughter was in and out of the hospital from 7 months old- 5.5 years old. Things that really helped:\n\n- Grocery shopping. My friend went to Trader Joes and got a lot of pre-made meals (salads/burritos/sandwiches/deli meat) and it was great to have. My husband was still home because he had to work and having just fast things to grab or to bring me and my daughter to the hospital was so helpful.\n\n- If they have any other kids, play-dates, making their lunches, picking them up was a huge help. \n\n- Family took our laundry to the laundry-mat, it was so nice getting it back folded and clean. Our laundry piled up high and no one had the time to do it. \n\n- Lots of gift-cards (I liked just Visa ones) to be able to buy local food from places around the hospital. My daughter didn't like the hospital food and was losing weight, so anytime she wanted to order food (or me) it was so nice to have a bit of financial break.\n\n- Snack food. Many kids live on snacks and at the hospital it tend to be very meal centered. A friend brought me her favorite snacks and it was great to have it on hand (goldfish pretzels, cheese its, chewy bars, cheese sticks).\n\n- If they don't have an iPad, if a group of people can come together to purchase some tablet it would be so helpful. My daughter spent a lot of days in bed and having it really helped. We already had an iPad, so people gave us iTunes gift cards which was really nice. She got to pick out new games to play to keep her occupied. Along the same lines, facetiming with her friends was the highlight of her day!\n\n- Same thing, lots of gifts to play-- especially ones in bed. Our hospital had a great Childs Life Center, but getting some things out of the ordinary really put a smile on my daughters face.\n\nSo sorry for your friend. I am sending a lot of prayers, positivity, and love their way. ", "Having gone through treatment myself, the biggest drain is just time. Anything you can do to step in and help them make up for their lost time is immensely helpful. Like others have said, stepping in and helping out with groceries, cooking, or anything else that can take one more worry off their mind is beyond helpful. ", "Don't ask how the kid is doing EVERY FUCKING time you see them, source (kid has stage 4 neuroblastoma)", "When my nephew, age 7, got diagnosed and had to spend about two weeks in the hospital I made a basket of goodies for him with toys and games and the like. The one thing that really stood out was a little toy flashlight. There was something about having control of the light in the room that was really empowering for him. Just a really small tip. ", "Let them know to call you first, that you want to be their go-to friend. Then give examples. Bringing a favorite meal to the hospital, babysitting a sibling during an appointment or overnight hospital stay, helping sanitize the house when blood counts are low, etc. Those people made all the difference for us when my daughter had leukemia.", "If a hospital stay is a portion, offer to do their laundry. When my son had neuroblastoma at 8 months old, a good family friend came down every few days and get our laundry/give back clean clothes. It meant so much. It was nice to be able to have something clean everyday. We were there 3 weeks total from diagnosis to surgery.", "Some things I learned when my SIL had cancer:\n\n•Meals that are easy to heat and serve (and are pre-portioned) are great. You eat crap at the hospital, you aren't focusing on caring for yourself, and you're up at weird hours. Being able to beat up a healthy and comforting meal is clutch. Think veggie-filled lasagne.\n\n•Bringing home a cancer patient means needing a near-sterile home. Helping out, or hiring a professional team of you have the resources, is huge. They may not have the time or energy to clean for themselves, and you can have a maid through for about $100. This time of year, taking care of lawn maintenance is great, as is snow removal in later months.\n\n•Don't make it all about the cancer; their whole life is already consumed by that. Talk music, talk sports, talk movies... Create some normalcy without showing the contrast between your life and theirs. Remember, you can talk about your feelings with other folks. This is their time.\n\n•My BIL got my SIL a Spotify premium membership for while she was in treatment. Gave her something to do when she had no energy. A 5-year-old may not need that, but there are other apps and subscriptions that are great for them and their parents. There is a website that has stories read by celebrities, too, that may be a good bookmark on an iPad or tablet-it's comforting for kids. Check it out:\n\nhttp://www.storylineonline.net/\n\n•The person with the cancer needs to feel normal, too. After recovery, my SIL says the worst thing is that everyone looks at her as \"the girl that had cancer\". Try to divorce yourself from that.\n\n•Donate blood. In Boston, we have the Jimmy Fund (they're so amazing) and a bunch of other hospitals that take blood specifically for cancer patients and those with serious illnesses. Go give some blood to these people if they're available to you. The hospital where your friend's child is being treated probably can direct you to a Jimmy Fund affiliated blood bank.\n\n", "How far away is he hospital that the child will be treated at? Consider gas cards to help offset the travel costs. When I was pregnant with my third child, I had to deliver at a specialty hospital almost two hours from home. Towards the end of my pregnancy I was making that trip three to four times a week. I used up a TON of gas. \n\n", "When my brother had cancer (he was 8 at the time), our neighbors pitched in and bought us a deep freezer. Word got out and neighbors, friends, family etc would cook meals for us and leave them in the freezer with a note. We kept the freezer in our garage so it was easily accessible if no one was home. It was a huge help for my parents.", "Setup and manage a gofundme account for them. While it may be awkward in the beginning, (because most people feel weird accepting charity), When the bills and copays and perscription bills start coming in, they will feel comfortable that they do not need to worry about that. Another plus, if your community shows their support it will make the family feel supported during a difficult time.\n\nOrganize a blood drive in the child's name. Another way the community can show their support. Even though the blood is not directly earmarked for the child, they will need many transfusions of platlets and red blood cells. Having a blood drive will make the family feel like some good is coming from their tragedy. \n\nWhile they are staying in the hospital, which will be frequent, visit and bring food. Hospital food is not great and a home cooked meal while staying at the hospital is a god send. Bring comfort food, starbucks, things you know the parents like. They are the ones doing the heavy lifting for their child. (sleeping at/working from the hospital)\n\nDont forget the sibling. They will see their bother or sister get alot of attention. small things to keep them involved. volunteer to take the sibling on a play date or to a movie or the beach. the parents will appreciate the time to focus on their child's health.\n\nGift cards to fast food, Target etc. \n\nEntertainment for the child while in the hospital. The days are long. if they have an ipad/iphone then itunes gift cards.", "Learn a little bit about their cancer before acting.\nI had a series of bawling distant relatives calling for weeks. That was a worse experience than the cancer (thyroid).\n\nCancer is not an automatic death sentence.", "I lost my fiancé to cancer a few months ago. We were 14 and 15 when she was diagnosed the first time, so I've been through it from a different angle. The things I saw that were most helpful were \n\n1. Meal Train. Seriously, set one up for them, manage it, and let the only interaction they have with it be receiving the food. Tell everyone who signs up to bring meals not to hang around after dropping it off, as most of the times we just wanted to eat and were to exhausted to socialize. \n\n2. Visit them in the hospital. Take the parents to lunch on weekends, or something similar to get them out for a bit. Of course they will want to be with their child at every moment, but I knew how much her parents appreciated having a reason to get out for a bit. \n\n3. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES offer advice or recommendations on their child's treatment, nor give them ANY reason to doubt their doctors. Far too often people told her parents they were doing something wrong, or could be doing something better. Regardless of your beliefs, keep any homeopathy comments to yourself. ", "Echoing what a lot of people said but it's what I always tell people when they ask. My mom had cancer a few years back and it was hard to answer when people asked what they could do. It's better just to say \"I made a lasagna. What time should I bring it over?\" \n\nAlso towards the end, my mom had to have constant supervision. It was nice when friends came and sat with her so I could shower or run to the store. \n\nLastly (and hopefully this comes out the right way), don't forget about your friends if this battle ends up being long. I found that people wanted to help towards the beginning but some people disappeared. Even having friends say \"I want to give you a break. Let me bring over coffee and chat\" was so important emotionally for me after dealing with everything for months and months. ", "Obviously not the same situation but when I was a kid our family house burned down. After a few days of staying with family we got a hotel room to stay in. The day we moved in, one of our neighbors showed up with two huge trays of Lasagna, drinks, cookies, all sorts of stuff like that. After thanking her profusely for a home cooked meal she told us that her and a pile of our family friends had made a list of who will bring us dinner every night. 20+ families had signed up to make us dinner, and every night someone showed up with a smile and something delicious to eat.\n\nAfter a few weeks of staying in a hotel we got a call from another family friend. He worked for a big-time property manager in our area and had convinced them to let us stay in one of their demo condo's until our house was rebuilt. \n\nThese are just some examples of the biggest things that people did for us, and there were plenty more, but the point is that these were all things that people just went out and did. We didn't ask, they didn't tell us ahead of time they were doing it, they just did it because they knew it would help and that was exactly what we needed.\n\nFor your situation, some big things that come to mind are:\n\n1. Food is a huge one, it's easy to forget how much time cooking takes when you are focusing on taking care of a sick family member.\n2. Is the hospital where the treatment/chemo will be done close by or a bit of a trip? If it's more than an hour or so away, maybe think about getting vouchers for a nights stay in a local hotel.\n3. Stop by with all of your cleaning supplies and put in some elbow grease, or hire a cleaner to stop by.\n4. Books, magazines, reading materials in general are really good (for both the parents and kids) if they have to do chemo since there will be a lot of sitting at the hospital and if they're lucky the kid can sleep after getting treatment.\n5. If you're very close, offer to be the point person for arranging things with other people who want to help. It can get a little overwhelming even though people just want to help when you just want to focus on the child.\n6. Buy a voucher for some sort of massage or something like that. It's important for the parents to take care of themselves too but they won't do it on their own.", "Not sure if the family still has to go home every night (my brother was older when he had cancer), but if they do gas money and/or parking pass is also helpful. A lady gave my mom $100 and she said that was a godsend because she didn't even think how much gas would cost going back and forth everyday. We too had tons of people bringing us food and that was always the highlight of my brother's day since it was all so different.", "My family went through this a year and a half ago with our son. You need to understand what type of relationship you currently have with them. Are you casual acquaintances or are you long term friends with refrigerator rights (do u have a key to their home?). A cancer diagnosis impacts either friend type, but the casual friend stands to cause problems when this becomes the venue for them to exert a desire to become better friends. I'm not picking that up based on your message, but am saying it because of the excruciating pain of this experience.\n\nBased on my experience: Parents of kids with cancer inevitably forget to care for themselves in some way, so make time for them to talk to you. Don't pretend to understand and don't stop them short if you get uncomfortable with what they are saying. As they talk, listen for needs. Ask them if they want help with anything they have mentioned. Whether they mention it or not, bring them food (2 complete meals for the family at a time), ask for a house key so you can take care of the home as needed (cleaning, laundry, lawn care, pet care etc.), if at any point in time they pull back, let them. Their needs should drive your behavior. Just stay close enough that they know you are with them throughout. Listening may well be the help they need most.\n\nIt is a long process regardless of the treatment and prognosis. God be with you and your friends in this time.", "I have a 4 yr old with leukemia. She's over a year into treatment and she has another year left. Bills will come later. If they need help with that after the fact, then that is great if you wish to help. Still, medical out of pocket costs can rack up. This all depends on their financial situation.\n\nI can say for me, the greatest gift is to not have to worry about 300 things when I get home from work. The three biggest hassles we deal with is cleaning, lawn, and dinner. Unfortunately my wife and I are pretty much alone in this endeavor. We get a little help from her parents but not much.\n\nHowever, those things can't be helped very much unless you come over and do them. The one thing we didn't count on was the immense strain it put on our relationship. We had at one point seriously considered divorce. This is because everything takes a backseat to your child's illness. It's simply instinct. But as time goes on the relationship suffers and you grow apart. Not having adult time and intimacy will ruin a great relationship.\n\nMy advice. When the treatments become less aggressive (the beginning is usually the worst) offer to babysit. Maybe once a week. They will treasure this alone time. It will be hard for them at first, but if it becomes routine it will do wonders for the relationship and their stress.", "Any tips on what to do if your friend lives far away,(like another country far) and you can't exactly go make them dinner/help around the house? What can you say/send them to let them know you're there for them, even if you're not actually *there*? ", "Respite care. Volunteer to care for their child for an evening, a whole day, whatever works for them.\n\nWhatever you do, don't let up. My wife is nearly two years into some pretty grueling cancer treatment, and the \"compassion fatigue\" set in a long time ago. Friends and family that were falling all over themselves to help - at first - are nowhere to be found.", "My daughter is a cancer survivor (1 year, she is 3 years old now) \n\nI can tell you, if you want to support them. Visit them. just be there for them, if you notice a thing that needs to be done around their house or life, just take initiative and do it. \n\nThey will be too overwhelmed to tell you they need anything, and will probably be overwhelmed by the idea of just asking for anything. Its a few mentally and emotionally exhausting experience. \n\nAfter our daughter was diagnosed with cancer, it was the most isolating experience of my life. People just stopped coming around, stopped visiting, calling, reaching out. Dont forget about your friends because they are not initiating contact, if you have not heard from them for awhile, that is probably when they need you the most. \n\nLet them talk about whatever they want to talk about, and dont say \"I cant even imagine\" say \"you are so strong\" \n\nand never, ever, under any circumstances contradict their beliefs when you are offering support to a grieving person, even if you think you are helping, you are not. Just be there to listen, and love them. ", "Make sure your son doesn't treat their child any differently. My older brother had brain cancer growing up and the one thing my parents told me later that really stuck out is that everyone started treating my brother differently including my peer group. Even though my brother and I fought all the time, my parents said they really appreciated that because I was the only person who still treated him like a normal human.", "I'm a 17 year old girl that was recently given a preliminary cancer diagnosis.\n\nI have forced my mom to not tell anybody, ANYBODY, no one knows but the two of us (+ strangers I have chosen to vent to anonymously on the internet. Believe me, I keep my Reddit account well hidden).\n\nIt was bad enough about two weeks before I was diagnosed, I had a tumor removed and major abdominal surgery (they later found cancer in the tumor). Everyone and their dog was stopping in at the hospital to see me to the point where we had to keep my door locked 24/7 because family members would try to sneak past the nurses (who we'd asked to not let me have any visitors) to get to me. My phone was blowing up, people left and right demanding to know what was going on, demanding to be talked to and becoming upset and angry when I would refuse to speak to them (this is still going on). It's bordering on harassment.\n\nThere's no, \"How are you doing? How are you feeling? How are you coping?\" It's only, \"Where are you now? Are you still in the hospital? Is your incision healed? How long did the surgery take? What kind of medications are you on? You know, when *I* had surgery, they gave me X, Y, Z meds, tell the doctor to give you those.\" What a load of shit.\n\nWhy did so many people know? (Neither my mom nor myself put up anything on social media) My own *grandmother* informed me during an early visit while I was in a *wheelchair* and attached to an *IV* how hard it was for her to cope with what was happening to *me,* and how she had proceeded to call everyone in her address book and tell them every detail she knew because it helped her *cope.* While I'm the one in the goddamn wheelchair. I felt so completely disrespected and humiliated. I don't deserve to have to deal with this bullshit on top of *surgery and freaking cancer.*\n\n**LIFE PRO TIP: DON'T FUCKING DO THAT.**\n\nDon't demand details, don't get angry at the family, don't show up uninvited or send countless messages and voice calls. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO ANY INFORMATION OR CONTACT.\n\nIF they want you close during this experience and want you in their support system, BE KIND AND GENTLE. Ask the kid how he's doing, ask the parents how they're doing, be kind and supportive. Ask them frankly if they would like you to be around or if they need time and space to themselves. When you ask if it's okay to come over, and they agree, bring a nice home cooked meal for them, that would be great. Ask if you could maybe come over once a week at a set time with a meal for them, if your families are close.\n\nYeah, I understand that my family is just trying to be concerned, but there's a fine line before you get to crazy overbearing, harassing, and simply awful. I'm sure you have the best intentions, but don't get carried away. Sometimes the best thing for a family is to be left alone.", "You are great friends. From personal experience anything you can do to give them more time while they are at the hospital and to reduce their stress. Already suggested is meals (so they don't need to shop and cook), cut their grass, look after pets, if they have other kids drive them to school etc. ", "Treat them normally and just lend an ear and give support for now, let them know you are there for them. If they ask for help then you help, don't be like a helicopter parent, that is the insulting kind of helping.", "There was a post from a redditor that I can't recall the exact words of, but it went something like this:\n\nImagine yourself in the middle of a series of circles; each circle represents a layer--or degree of you will--of people associated with the center. In your context, this series of rings is your family friend's system; the center of the series is the family friends child; the first ring is the direct and nuclear family; the next ring out will be closest relatives, or possibly best friend(s); next layer could be you and/or other friends from school or church; layer after that can be support groups, or acquaintances.\n\nWherever you fit in the system, the redditor's rule of thumb was to talk about it with those on or outside of where you stand in said system, and be there for those inside of the system.", "Some things will depend on how close you are with the family. Chemo makes people feel rotten. They will feel ill, cold, and tired. Plus the likelihood of hair loss. You could buy a soft cosy blanket and a stuffy for hunkering down on the couch, add a few movies. Get fluffy socks and a warm hat or even a trendy slouchy hipster hat to wear daily. Get matching for mom and dad (siblings) so when hair falls out all have hats. Give them board games for family time.\n\nWhen shit gets real, it's the regular day to day that is difficult. Tell them you'd like to come over and vacuum for them, or let them know you got a cleaning company to make a few visits every other week and \"company\" will call them to set times. Fill their freezer with essentials or food you've made. Find out what things the boy will be able to eat during treatment (likely soups and light things right after?). Fill pantry with those. Mow lawn or shovel driveway. Do their laundry. Be consistent though. If you mow lawn, say, finish the season. If you're close enough you can just walk into their yard, mow, rake, etc. In hard times the best support I received were the things I couldn't do for myself like I listed above. Also, give them an ear. Invite them over and let them talk or give distraction while the kids play. Or just pop by the house with Starbucks \"just got myself and thought you could use some\". Don't expect to stay but its amazing how you forget to even have a cuppa. Make sure they are taking care of themselves. Ask if you can watch the kids do they can get a decent shower or nip to the store. ", "Pretty much what everybody's said about food and household chores, stuff like goes a long way in taking the day to day pressures off. One of the big things a friend did with us was just hang out. He'd never talk about the cancer unless we brought it up, which really meant a lot because everyday we were dealing with some test or appointment and while you get used to that over time, part of you yearns just to talk about normal shit. So just being there, shooting the shit, playing video games, seriously anything that's normal and temporarily distracts everyone from the elephant in the room is extremely helpful.", "My mom had it. My best advice is, don't act like the person is already dead, but also don't act like it isn't a big deal. It IS a big deal, but with luck and treatment, he'll get over it. Offer support, and maybe give the kid some ice cream, and you're good to go.", "Mow the lawn and take care of the yard. Fill the car up with gas and get it washed. Give them the time to take care of family by taking care of the house, car and yard.", "If you are not a specialized doctor, its hard to make the illness go away, and the side affects can be difficult to manage as well. As a kid with cancer, you spend countless hours in bed waiting for something to happen, its is incredibly boring. Having people who can keep you entertained either by coming over and chatting or just talking through text is the best. Some of my best memories with friends are of them surprising me by coming over and cheering me up when I was bout to fall asleep late afternoon having been alone in my room all day. There are somethings you can't help as a bystander, but just showing support and making our day brighter as all we could ask for.", "I would be careful to avoid phrases like;\n\n> You know we are here for you (that is open ended and just said as a filler) \n\n> What can I do?\n\n> What would you like me to do?\n\n> Why has this happened (and other intrusive medical questions, basics is fine if you will be babysitting or they want to share it all but try not to press painfully on a sore nerve) \n\nand instead use phrases like\n\n> You know my schedule, you can call me whenever and if I am not tied up at <work/important thing> I will come and help. \n\n> Can I make you X meal, clean these dishes, tidy this room (anything else askew you notice)\n\n> I would like to help you do X can I do that for you on <date> remember if you ever need a hand just shout. \n\n> What do I need to know to ensure your child stays safe? \n\nI cannot tell you how many times when tragedy strikes people told me empty \"you know I am here for you\" despite me not seeing them in years and not seeing them for years after or how many honest \"let me know how to help you's\" but been so overcome with emotions I didn't know what I needed or felt they were inferior compared to the issue at hand though our issue was bereavement not cancer. The people who helped the most were the people who just did shit, my aunt cooked us meals about 1x a week, fundraisers were held without us even knowing til money showed up.\n\nFlowers are great and all but my throat closed up 'cause of them. I was drowning in petals for months. The food, the help moving things about and the getting shit done and just presenting it without expecting even a thank you (they did get that!) those people where the people I knew I could count on. ", "I work at a non-profit that raises money for cancer research, and I come in contact with many people battling the disease including children and their families. Support comes in many forms and there have been good suggestions here. Depending on where their child is being treated, there's a good chance that the hospital or medical facility is involved with several cancer groups or charities. Find out about them and see how you can get involved. They'll have both the ideas on how to help as well as the mechanisms in place to do so. Often, they'll involve parents as well. A lot of times, just keeping busy with others going through the same fight is extremely helpful to the parents. And their strength will carry over to the real fighters, the children undergoing treatment. Best of luck!", "I was there for my friend when she had cancer. One important tip I heard which was fantastic when followed was:\n\n\n> Support in, vent out\n\nBasically, if you're finding the situation hard or emotional, find someone who's less connected to the family than you are and vent to them. Telling people close to the kid that the situation is getting to you only makes it tougher on them. The family is going to need your support and and for you to not judge them.", "I found out (the hard way) during an event like this, the most helpful things were the ones people just did without asking me. You are absolutely flooded with people\ntelling you \"let me know if I can help\", and while the intentions are good, you are not in a position to consider what needs to get done. The most common thing for me was family, friends and neighbors bringing meals. I had a family member order catering, and a neighbor brought over 6 Costco pizzas. It was more food than I knew what to do with, but I didn't have to think about meals. I needed my youngest babysat while I took care of things, tons of people offered to help, and again it was more than I could think through at the time, and that's when a friend stepped up, created a schedule and sent reminders to people when it was their turn. Figure out some detail that you can take off their hands, and just do it.", "I don't have a child with cancer, but I personally just finished chemotherapy for Stage IV Hodgkin's Lymphoma (I'm 32). First, I commend you for thinking about the parents specifically - cancer, no matter the age, affects the family members just as much as the patient, just in a different way. This was something my wife felt often during my treatment: people would constantly ask about me, and check in on me, but very rarely were people directly asking how SHE was doing and handling things. Sometimes from my own family members (although to their cr", "Hire a lawn or cleaning service for them or offer to come over and do it. Also, they will be spending a lot of time in hospitals and doctors offices so a bag with snacks and entertainment like crossword puzzles/word finds are usually appreciated.", "Don't ask what can I do or say Let me know if you need anything.\n\nOffer to do specific things. I will be over Monday at 2pm to do your laundry. I will bring your family dinner on Thrusday at 6pm. \n\nOften it is hard to know what you need and you are so overwelmed you don't know what to ask for.\n\nTalk to your child and do your best to maintain the kids friendship. One of the hardest things for a kid with cancer is being alone.\n\nLead them to resources like Negu/joyjars, peaches neatfeet, there are a lot of groups out there willing to bring them joy, the groups just need to know the family is out there.\n\nGive mom a break. Tell her you are coming over for 3 hours on wednesday and she is to either go to the mall or a movie or something to take care of herself.\n\n", "Do what you can to take away the stress of every day tasks so that they can focus on their child and fighting this battle. \n\n\nIf you have a food delivery service, where they can order food from restaurants (not fast food) and have it delivered... a gift card makes a nice gift. Then when they are feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, etc they can still get a nice meal. \n\n\nCheck in once in a while. A lot of people will try to \"give them space\" and yes they will need some alone time, but many people are intimidated by the issue and will not be as supportive (not intentionally meaning any harm) because of this. You may get the same exact answer or conversation each time you reach out, but the fact that you are THERE will speak volumes and when they do need a shoulder to lean on... they will know you are there for them.\n\n\nAsk when appointments are so that you can bring a meal that day or even the night before, or mow the lawn, do laundry, etc. Especially, if/when they are doing chemo. Something nice to counter balance the fear and uncertainty of the day. \n\n\nAlso, if it's possible for you, have their child over for a sleepover, or if health issues don't permit that then bring your child over for a sleepover and send them out alone to a nice meal and maybe even a hotel. MANY couples who go through things like this end up divorced or separated because of the immense strain this puts on a marriage. They may push back on this one because it feels selfish with what they are facing...but they cannot be the best parents if they are not also good partners. Try to encourage them to take care of themselves and their marriage as well as their child.", "Do practical things like offer cooking/bringing meals, going for a run with the dad etc depending on who you are (age/sex). Try to do \"normal\" things that you would do with a friend and this will make them feel connected/supported and bring an anchor of \"normality\" into their life. \n\nThe last thing a sick kid wants to happen is people walk on egg-shells and treat him/her like they are an abnormal alien. ", "Been there. Fought that.\n\n1) OFFER support. For them. Not for you. This is important and an important distinction. When I went through this, no one really knew how to respond. It is AMAZINGLY comforting to know that people care, that you are important to them, that they want to help. That being said, some people felt compelled to do things so that THEY could feel like they were \"supportive\". I understood that they were hurting, scared, unsettled, etc., and looking for ways to assuage those feelings...but at the end of the day, the support needs to be for the person with the disease, and secondly for the primary support (parents in this case)\n\n2) Life goes on. Invite them to things. Involve them in the regular goings on with school, teams, activities, neighborhood, bday parties, etc. The family is going to drill into absolutely horrible decisions, have to face unimaginable choices, deal with their own grief/fear/anxiety. Getting away even for an hour or 2 is really important and helpful. Don't underestimate the value of 5 min of normal chat, a glass of wine with friends, the ability to feel normal. We had a nurse who was incredible, except that every time she came into the hospital room, she would break into tears. Yes it is tragic, we get it. Yes it hurts, understood. Find a way to be helpful without making the family dwell in the negative. Bring schoolwork home when the child misses school. Picking up prescriptions. Little mundane things can really help, not just by getting them done, but by showing the support.\n\n3) I see lots of responses here about making food, doing chores...BE CAREFUL that what you do meets the families needs and is helpful to them. I had a freezer FULL of food that would never be eaten. I had 20-30 vases of flowers that had to be disposed of. Thank you SOOO MUCH for the support, I just can't eat that much lasagne. At the end of the day, I really understood that people cared, that they wanted to help. THANK YOU! The harsh reality is that the family is going to radically restructure their lives and priorities. OFFER support (food, chores, errands, etc) but LISTEN to the response. If the support does not match the needs, it is not support. \n\nAt the end of the day, nothing you can do will mean more than your caring and support. The strength to power through the tragedies in life has its foundation in the love and compassion of the magnificent people around us every day. We lose sight of that magnificence so often. The silver lining of a tragedy is that we have a chance to share our magnificence.\n\n", "As others said already, help them to get rid of all those things that require their precious time, now that they have more important things to think of. \n\nI remember the feeling when my newborn daughter had a minor medical condition at birth, that required us to focus entirely on her for a bit. There are things that you need to do, even if you have to take care of a loved one. Cooking/meals is something many people recommended.\nAnother thing is cleaning the house. Or buying grocery. Fixing something that is broken. Buying stuff. Just text them: \"I am going to the supermarket this afternoon, do you need anything?\"", "A family friend is in the same situation and they often said a lot of people offer but sometimes the person in need feels somewhat guilty, so he said to just do. \nDelivery of food and mowing the lawn are great but dont say 'let me know if you'd like me to bring food over' just say 'i'm coming over tomorrow with dinner, are you home?' and once you've done it once just continue to do so as long as you are not overstepping (ie. not when the sick person is in a bad state or they need family time) ", "When I had my kidney transplant, we had a million people bring over food. I was thankful, but it actually got to be too much. People would bring over foods that I couldn't really eat because I was so nauseated, and then they'd want to stay and visit, and I was so tired, I didn't really have the energy for that. But, the best thing that someone did for us during that time, was come over and clean my house. I was kind of embarrassed when they offered, but it made me so relieved to have the house a little more in order.", "Send cards of support. Call them. Text them. Bring dinner. Offer to run errands. Little things like that matter more than you can even imagine. ", "Personal experience as a brother who lost a sibling to this horrible disease, every little thing you can do for them is welcome. Just visiting is sometime's enough to get there thought to derive from the situation.\n\nI don't know if you got this in your country, but try to contact something like Make-a-Wish foundation. What they did for our family had a huge inpact on us mentally. \n\nJust try to help them where ever you can and don't forget to threat the kid like it's just a normal kid. ", "Parent with a kid who had cancer (full remission now!) I have to agree with the food idea- bringing food over that was already prepped and ready is a godsend.\n\n*Chores are great as well, but I would add like another poster had suggested to be specific. \"When can I come over to do X\" is way more helpful than \"Let me know if I can do anything\". I never called the folks who said that though I needed lots of help. It takes extra mental energy to ask and it still feels like an imposition even if you offered. Specificity just requires your approval, and takes it from being a polite offer to a real prospect.\n\n*Third, I'm not sure if anyone said this, but helping with setting up a Gofundme page or to help raise funds for expenses is invaluable. We had just moved to a new city and had new jobs and barely knew anyone, but a friend of a friend (and a fundraising Chiver) helped us set up a page and that was tremendously helpful. I am reticent to ask for help and I was drowning in medical bills and bills associated with travelling to Portland for chemo (still am drowning but my boy is alive and happy so... priorities, right?)\n\n\nPic of wife and kid for those who are curious (and a little Dad pride and stuff) https://goo.gl/photos/PLERf3Ss5xJjrxRWA ", "No one has mentioned this that I've seen, but offer to chauffeur to appointments, it gets exhausting driving to appointments all the time, and not having to drive every time would probably be a huge relief. Also, let your child continue to play with theirs as long as they are both healthy enough to do so. That way the child can think of something besides their sickness for a while", "My daughter was diagnosed with a very aggressive type of leukemia when she was 16 (she's 24 and fine now) and was in the hospital for 9 months. Of course, all of our friends and neighbors wanted to help, but when I needed someone to pick up my son, or walk the dog or anything else, I didn't have the time or energy to go down a call list and try to find someone to do it. \n\nThen I had a great idea: I asked my neighbor and good friend to be my volunteer coordinator. Whenever someone said \"Let me know if I can do anything\" I asked them to give their contact info to my neighbor. Then, when we needed something, I only had to make one call and it would get done. This was incredibly helpful because I was living at the hospital with our daughter and my husband was living at home with our son.\n\nSecond helpful thing: CarePages and CaringBridge are very helpful websites that let you set up an account and post updates about someone's health condition. Privacy is maintained because you control who gets to sign up and see the information. A great way to get support not just for your immediate family, but for relatives who are far away and worried. My sister, who lives in a different state, said how helpful it was, not just to get the information but also to read the wonderful loving comments people would leave.\n\nBest of luck to your friends. Xox", "My brother had Cancer when he was three. I think what might be helpful is offering to take care of things at home because the majority of their time will be spent in a hospital. ", "If they have another kid, offer to babysit as often as possible. The parents are going to be super busy. Make dinner for them, offer to clean their house, mow the lawn, care for any pets. Maybe make a care package with stuff like soft blankets, books (for the kid and parents), snacks, drinks. They're going to have to spend a lot of time at the hospital so anything to make those stays easier. If the kid likes video games and the hospital room has a TV you can get some games. ", "If I was in a situation like that, I would really appreciate it if someone could cook a few meals and help out with practical work. If someone offered help like that, they would be angels in my eyes. Oftentimes the best support isn't words or talk, but actual help in everyday life so the sufferers can conserve their energy and focus on getting through it.", "I know I'm a little late! But my dad's co-worker's daughter was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. My dad asked for gas gift cards for Christmas to give to his coworker because he knew they would have to drive about an hour and a half each way for treatments! I thought giving gift cards for gas was a pretty neat idea, especially if the family will need to travel for doctor's appointments, treatments, etc.!", "Food food and more food. They are going to be going through so much right now, running around to see doctors and pick up drugs, seeing family and friends, school, work and everything else that parents have to do normally. \n\nIf you can cook some large meals (lasagne, pizza, stew) that can be frozen and microwaved at anytime you give them on less thing to worry about. If you cant cook get them some just eat vouchers or something similar. Stock up their fridge/freezer with simple meals so they don't go hungry or end up spending a fortune on delivery.", "Chores. Cooking, laundry, cleaning, giving rides, shopping/running errands - the parents can spend time with their child while you're taking care of the mundane tasks. A lot of people are mentioning food - just scope out how much others are bringing into the house and make sure that their freezer is big enough to hold everything. If twenty people bring pans of food and they don't have a chest freezer....that's a problem. \n\nSecondly, I'd ask them. Say something like \"I've got all day off tomorrow so I'm coming by. What needs doing while I'm there?\" But make them understand that you're doing this because you want to, and that it's ok for them to rely on outside help during all this. ", "As the child that had cancer, offer the little things they may need to make things work while tending to their child. My parents took off a lot of work and had my brother and sister to take care of so they mainly needed meals, gas money from visiting me at the hospital daily, babysitting, and someone to listen when they were ready to take a break and talk about me. I was very young but that's what comes to mind", "All good suggestions here. We went through this last year - inpatient chemo meant lots of time at the hospital. As a parent, you never want to leave your kid alone at the hospital, so other things take a back seat. Random thoughts:\n\n- are there pets, plants or anything at their house that need some care & attention?\n\n- are there other kids in the family who would rather not spend lots of time at the hospital and be doing something else?\n\n- would the hospital-bound parent like some company during the day? It's a lot of sitting, waiting, watching tv, reading books, doing crossword puzzles, napping and that's just the 1st day.\n\n- see if they are comfortable with you taking hospital duty for a while.\n\n- food is always good, just let them know in advance.\n\n- Do they have a decent thermometer? Monitoring temperature becomes a big thing.\n\n- they'll probably need a \"go bag\" or suitcase with everything needed for a last-minute trip to the hospital (see thermometer above).\n\nalso - /r/cancer can be helpful", "[Here's](http://www.barnesandnoble.com/mobile/w/childhood-cancer-anne-spurgeon/1123605866?ean=9781941089934) a book written by the mother of a friend of mine who had childhood cancer. She's since devoted her life to helping other parents deal with it, and just published this book recently. ", "You could set up a YouCaring to raise money for the parents to help offset expenses. Parking fees, lost wages from time off from work, babysitters, etc. these things can all add up.\n\nAlso the prepared meals are a great idea, taking their other children to activities, sports practices, etc. (if they have any) so the parents can go to Dr's appointments, treatments, etc. together. Offering to drive them or go with them if one spouse is unavailable to attend a treatment session. ", "Where are they at in treatment? A deep clean of the home is often need and hard if they are stuck in the hospital. \n\n\nMake sure your children are vaccinated and clean before visiting, and have not been exposed to fevers or chicken poxs. Depending on the stage of treatment, prepare them for the demeanor of the sick child. He might be lethargic or irritable or both. \n\n\nHaving visitors was great for me and my son because we couldn't go out. Immunosuppression is real and scary so take it seriously and the parents will appreciate it. \n\n\nSome friends of my mother's got me gift cards for a restaurant near the hospital and I used it all. The kid probably has enough stuffed animals. Sticker books, coloring, and movies are awesome. They have a lot of calm sitting and waiting to do if they just got diagnosed. \n\n\nThe biggest help I had was an extra adult coming with me to the hospital. My wife left us awhile ago and a couple times it was tough to get a bathroom break when my son and I had to spend all day at the hospital. \n\n\nYour well wishes, thoughts and expressions of love and encouragement really do help. Keep 'em coming. ", "When my family struggled through my dad having cancer the bills added up very fast and it took all the attention away from keeping up the house etc.\n\n\nJust don't ask \"what can I do?\" Because most people won't tell you what they really need. \n\nOffer to do things. \"I know you're struggling and I thought it'd help if I started mowing your lawn this summer so you don't have to worry about it\". \n\nMaking the offer will be much more successful. ", "When my daughter was diagnosed at five, the women from our community took it upon themselves to deliver meals once a week to our neighbour next door. When our neighbour saw we were at home, she would bring the meal over. Some weeks it would be the only non fast food we ate.\nAnother family we knew only had one car so their friends all kicked in and bought them a used car.\nDo not under any circumstance pretend that \"it could be worse\" or \"God never gives you more than you can handle\". Your friends are heartbroken, overwhelmed and exhausted. This is going to be a long haul, most childhood cancer treatment takes about two years to complete. Don't abandon them after the first rush of diagnosis. September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month. ", "When I was battling Leukemia it was really the small things that lifted the most weight off my family's shoulders. \n\nA little research can give you some idea of what restaurants are around the hospital. Undoubtedly the family will be eating at these places a lot, gift cards are great here. Also, Gas Cards are great too. \n\nIf the child has leukemia or lymphoma, organizing a blood, platelet and bone marrow drive in the child's honor (not memory like when they fucked up mine) is also a tremendous way to give back. My small community really responded well to my first drive and attendance dwindled after the third. All three of the items above are very much needed all around the world. Check out www.redcross.org or www.bethematch.com. \n\nLastly, this may sound odd, but the hospital can often be crowded and overwhelming for the patient. Send a card every day or if you want to visit, schedule with the family. This may seem obvious but I got visitors often when all I wanted to do was sleep but it would've been rude not to accommodate them. I often overexerted myself and it ended up being harder on me. Offer to let animals out or, if you're close enough to the family , pick up and take other kids to school. \n\nI hope this helped a lot. There are many other great answers posted here as well. I'm very sorry for your friend and if they - or anyone else for that matter - wants to contact a Leukemia survivor with questions or for advice, I'd be happy to do my best to help. Pm me. \n", "When I was about 6, my 3 year old brother got Leukemia. My mom had to take time off work without pay, and people had to bring us food. \n\nI think you should probably go with buying/cooking them some stuff. Besides, food is universal, everyone loves it. If you don't know what to do, food is pretty much a foolproof idea.", "When I was a kid one of my neighborhood friends had a family friend who had cancer. He was around 5 when he was diagnosed. I don't know the specifics in your case, but this kid had brain cancer and it had a lot of very noticeable side-effects. He had some difficulty with speaking, had a feeding tube, and was bald from chemo. That was the first time I encountered someone like that and I was honestly kind of freaked out by the whole thing. No one really explained to me why he was like that, I feel like if someone had I would have understood and probably sympathized better. So my advice is to make sure that your kid understands what your neighbor is going through and that even if it has some physical manifestations, the cancer doesn't change who they are as a person. \n\nAlso, if the outcome looks bad, don't try to overly sympathize with them now. They have their child now, let them mourn later. ", "When I was 5 I had cancer, so I reached out to my parents and asked what helped them the most. They said just having people who would give them food or gift cards to restaurants that wasn't fast food. Volunteering to babysit if they have two kids just while they go eat makes a huge difference. My parents are also pretty religious Baptist and my dad said to never say God will make it better bc you don't know the future and it feels like God is currently punishing them. He also said to advise them to read \"Why bad things happen to good people\" by Kushner..... ", "When I was 10 my best friend was diagnosed with cancer. A lot of my childhood memories are of visiting with her in the hospital for long periods of time. Decorating her room periodically to make it feel more like home. And bringing games and other friends to help pass the time. \n\nSince I was young I'm not sure of the full impact it had on the family but I have to imagine the fact that we brought laughter and fun and a bit of normalcy to their daughter was a relief to them. Plus they got guilt free time to themselves or with another non medical adult to just talk-- either about medical stuff or just random nonsense. \n\nIf you want some game/decoration/fun ideas for your child and theirs to do together just let me know and I'll type up what I can remember. ", "We had something like this happen to relatives that lived outside the country. We had several garage sales with tones of items donated by neighbors (we send fliers around) and friends, and many strangers from facebook, etc. When people know what the monies for there very generous. Also organized car wash with over 20 volunteers - almost all equipment donated, even pizzas for lunch. This helped the mom stay with her child instead of working, and helped with gas to the hospital.", "We had friends bring us food - both hot dinners and general food supplies. \n\nMany gift cards were also given. Most were for restaurants, but some for groceries. We received a couple of gift cards for gas stations. Those were very helpful as there were many trips to the hospital and doctors office.", "We are in the middle of treatment for my son's high-risk neuroblastoma. Started the diagnostic process in December and now his second stem cell transplant starts Friday.\n\nIf you have a hobby or interest you share with your friends keep talking or doing that somehow. You might get bummed out after your encounters with them but if you can swallow it and keep coming back know that you're doing a solid by talking their mind of the immediate stress. I play videogames with my coworkers after everyone's asleep because it burns off stress and it's the only thing I can make \"progress\" on in my life however small and inconsequential.\n\nArrange some lawn care regularly. They've already lost the feeling of providing health and safety for their child, knowing you aren't able to keep a clean and orderly home adds insult to injury.\n\nGet their mail for them if they allow. Holding at the post office or forwarding only lasts a month, otherwise they need to get a PO Box.\n\nMeals are great, but if the kid won't eat it you're just feeding the parents guilt. I worry, overeat from stress, aren't active because I am working sporadically and we're rying to not get him sick by being in public, have to rely on convenience foods when travelling or at the hospital or with the other kids at Ronald McDonald House, so I'm getting fat again. Make meals small and frequent. A large casserole can be great but a burden when you're not around at home to enjoy it. Like us they may not even have the fridge/freezer space. Get a suitable selection of gift cards. Starbucks card is a must.\n\nKeep your child and yourselves up to date on vaccines, especially flu. Willingness to help gets trumped by physical ability. I got a cold yesterday and like I said transplant conditioning chemo starts Friday. I got kicked out of RMH last night so I feel like shit physically and emotionally. Don't interact with the family until 48 hours after symptoms subside.\n\nLearn about the disease once they share the diagnosis. Treatment evolves and what is required of the family changes. The first 5 rounds of chemo were week long hospitalizationa every 3 weeks dependent on blood counts. Makes it hard to do long term planning. As others have said, just do the things you can do, don't ask for when it all fits. It doesn't fit if they have to plan it. Don't judge the family if they don't seem helpful or appreciative. Our focus gets very narrow.\n\nIf you are close enough to do so do try and give the parents time away together. Their relationship will falter. They have to rely on and navigate their respective families friends and emotional arenas in a way they've never been challenged. Other people will expose strengths and weaknesses the parents did not know they had. They will disagree on things. Support THEM and not one perspective because they both need to push on through.\n\nDon't push Make-a-wish in them right now. At this stage it feels like that's a thing only for dying kids. It's not at all and they can come to it later. We'll explore it when feel like it. Same with those summer camps for cancer kids. That's for way later. They're afraid of not having a later so don't stress it on them even though for a normal state of mind it's good to have positive goals. There is a guilt now to not always be prepared for the worst. We thought along with the doctors that our son had a weirdly inflamed lymph node. We were naively wrong. Now not trying to find ourselves for the potential relapse and death seems just as naïve. This is also why we never talked to another family before or even now during treatment. Didn't want to hear about someone else's kids doing well if mine doesn't, or that they didn't make it knowing mine so far is I remission. Works for some families to talk, not for some. The doctors will offer so no need for you to suggest it.\n\nBeauty products for the wife, like travel size of her favorites. Guess the dad too if he's into that. USB battery pack for waiting rooms or Pokemon GO if that gets the kid walking.\n\nFor the child, tablets are a great crutch but can become problematic as it becomes an obstacle to kids wanting to walk around or even sitting up. If a no issue or really needed, gift cards for app stores are great. We're trying to wean off right now. Get dumb cheap throwaway toys like PlayDoh or silly putty because hospitals are dirty. Coloring books are crap. LCD writing pad is better. Lego is great, but there's nowhere to store that in a hospital room. same with big toys or too many stuffies. Get together a \"treasure chest\" with blind bags of toys for the parents to offer for things like taking meds, dressing changes, port accesses, etc. Keep that filled with novel small stuff. \n\nOffer to help move stuff to/out of the hospital when going inpatient. Let them know the offer is for any time, day or night. Buy stacking Rubbermaid tubs to do so.\n\nIf they don't have a playset at home, ask if you can arrange getting one built. Being immunocompromised means no public playgrounds or grocery store visits without anxiety.\n\nI don't know how they are financially but if you do a GoFundMe check with them so they aren't blindsided. It's pretty humbling to have to ask at that level. I'm glad my sister-in-law did it for me. If you do a Booster shirt maybe get an artsy friend to illustrate something other then \"(Kids Name) Strong\" which can become a big bummer too.\n\nGood luck to your friends and their child. You are good to want to help and they will need it.", "Was paralyzed at 12.\n\nMoney. Money for travel, staying overnight ... money for the little things. If American and uninsured, fundraiser.\n\nReady made meals or gift certificates to pick up food.\n\n", "Try to Take everyday Tasks out of their hands like cleaning and cooking all the shit that is just not impotant when your kidney is sick", "Try asking your church or local hospital. Why would you possibly ask the cancer of Reddit for advice on childhood cancer of all things.", "This wouldn't happen to be in SC, would it? A friend of my sister from high school has a daughter with the same age/issue. #joyforjovie", "They'll possibly need to travel for treatment and stay for periods at hospitals. I'd let them know that you are available anytime to watch their pets, check on their home, or take care of any other children they have whenever they're away. ", "They will for sure need lot time for doctors etc.\n\nHelp with the little things e.g. In the garden, cooking (a barbeque), shopping, getting paper stuff done, fix the computer or a broken lamp etc. etc.\n\nEven if you cannot help \"directly\", you can do a lot of stuff around.\n\n", "These people will be making LOTS of trips to and from appointments. Gas cards, fast food gift cards, grocery cards, Visa gift cards, and gift certificates for food places near the hospital will save them lots of money and stress. ", "There is nothing you can do to solve the problem. I know you want to help, but unless you hand them a magical syringe that cures cancer, what can you do?", "The biggest help you can do to them is to make them know that nothing is done. Cancer is just a disease, a word, a fear that world create to stop humans and control us. Every \"disease\" are just a problem of unbalance in our bodies and acidosis. \nSo talk to them about Docteur Robert Morse who helped thousands and thousands of healing of cancers and plenty of hard diseases. He has a YouTube channel. But the most important is the book he made : The Detox Miracle Sourcebook by Robert Morse. \nSo you gonna help them and moreover you gonna contribute to their awakening a day healing!!! \nGod bless you all. ", "The Dragonfly organization, https://dragonfly.org a great non-profit might have tips that could help. They deal solely with providing helped to the families of children with cancer. They based out of Ohio and do some work in Chicago, so I don't know if you are in that area. However they are great people who just want to help, if contact they they will respond to any all of your questions. Everyone that works there is going through or has gone through what your family friends are going through.\n\nSorry about any spelling or run on sentences at on a mobile, but really go to https://dragonfly.org really wish more people knew about. ", "Tell them to \"be thankful, as it could be worse\" and that you will pray for them. \n\nThen post a vague fb post so you can get attention from other people's suffering, without actually doing anything, and having no actual risk or suffering to contend with. \n \n", "Stopped goong to church 10 plus years ago and one important thing i took from it is ths from Job Ch 2\n\n7 So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head. 8 Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes.\n\n9 His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”\n\n10 He replied, “You are talking like a foolish[b] woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”\n\nIn all this, Job did not sin in what he said.\n\n11 When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. 12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. 13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.", "Start a meal train via mealtrain.com or another website and share with other friends of the family so that you can take care of a time consuming every day task for them. \n\nWe did this when a coworkers teenage daughter died very unexpectedly. We actually asked them what they would prefer, and they said to just direct people to leave food at their doorstep around 6 pm so they wouldn't be constantly inundated with people who mean well but are asking questions that are painful to respond to.", "Specific actions are particularly helpful. Caring for a sick child can mean traveling and lots of lost time to do other necessary household chores so focus on things that will allow them time focus on their more vital needs and the needs of the sick child. Don't just offer a general, blanket offer to help with whatever they need. That puts it on them to give you chores or tasks. If you know the couple well enough, you can anticipate needs and make specific offers to bring dinner over on certain nights, pick up their other children from school, or just perform yard work or other household chores once a week. If the family has pets, taking the dogs for walks and cleaning up the yard can be quite time consuming so helping with that could be quite welcome. \n\nPutting together care packages ahead of time can be great too. \n\n", "Slow cooked roasts or stews. Divvy it up into freezer bags and hand them over. Quick, easy and tasted alot better then constantly eating out.\n\nAs some have said, offering help with the mundane, time consuming things as they are going to be busy enough.\n\nYou may feel that you're not doing much to help, but they will surely appreciate it.", "Slightly different issue but still may help... My closest family friend's daughter was in an accident earlier this year and was in a coma for a week and in the hospital for over 2 months. I live about an hour flight away from home now so I was not of much immediate help but her older brother is my best friend. Our core group coordinated when to send encouraging texts and who would call when to make sure that he was receiving support constantly but also not being bombarded by us at all times (we all live in different places around the country so none of us were there to be immediate help). We also coordinated which weekends we would fly home to be with the family and help in anyway we could so that there was always someone there.\n\nAll of our parents are also best friends and still live close so they employed the same tactics of coordinating with each other so as not to burden the family. As many people have said simple things such as bringing home cooked meals to the family, picking up things that they will need while spending long hours in the hospital are all a huge help. \n\nIf your friends have siblings that live close by and are active with helping them they are a great resource to ask about the specific needs your friends will have day-to-day and hour-to-hour, going through them is a great way be most efficient/effective without burdening your friends as they will be having a hard time assessing their own needs due to all of their attention being focused on their child.\n\nI hope this helps OP and I am very sorry to hear about the situation.", "Simple - Do not remind them or their son that they have cancer - Instead, remind them that they have 'LIFE' that is precious, beautiful and worth any pain that may be endured.\nYou do not have to do anything special, but 'include' yourselves into their lives and pick up where any pickups may be needed. (Cook food, help with other children/chores needed as they're struggling with their major and painful journey). Simply be there, unwaveringly and unquestioningly. It will matter the most that you did that and will be their medicine in the long haul.\nP.S - This will not end when they suffer the tragic loss of their son's life - it will continue for long after this terrible milestone has passed... Good luck, and strong faith to you and yours. ", "Show up with a few casseroles and other dishes they can just pop in the oven to reheat. When you drop it off, you can offer to mow the lawn/walk the dog, and take care of some of the day to day stuff they don't have time for at the moment. You're a good friend.", "Set up a Gofundme for the family. They are going to need it with all the extra expenses that come with having cancer. My mom had cancer and all the treatment and visits are not cheap regardless of insurance. She beat, it thank goodness.\n\nBe a good support system. Constantly check on the child and families well beings and needs. \n\nI am forever grateful for the community coming together and constantly bringing us food and helping financially. \n\n", "See if you can get the kid into MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, TX. They have an amazing children's cancer wing and really work hard to offer support to the family in addition to having top-notch cancer treatment outcomes. Or, if they are in the Northeast, get the kid into Sloan-Kettering. MD Anderson and Sloan-Kettering are consistently the top two treatment centers and it does make a difference on long-term outcomes. Good luck to the kid!", "Recently found out a friend of a friend's child is going through the same thing. The family had shirts made that people could buy to help contribute to the bills they are facing. Mainly went out to friends and family that know the little girl, but word spread past that circle and others just want to help out as well. Maybe you could do something similar and they would have some extra income to use towards hospital bills/maid services/etc. Anything to ease that burden a little?", "Probably just help with the si.ple things like cooking and cleaning. Just out yourself in their spot and think about what would help the most. There isn't much you can say that will honestly help. But giving them more time to be together and handle their issues as a family seem very helpful. If you are part if a church maybe you could even set up meals with others dropping off as well?", "Personally I would ask the parents directly. I was recently in this situation with my daughter diagnosed with Bi-lateral Wilms tumors (kidney cancer). We were inundated with food from people to the point where so much of it went to waste because we simply had too much.\n\nBecause of the Chemo we tried to avoid too many visitors as well as just getting a cold would leave my daughter in hospital for a week with dangerously high temperatues and could potentially be fatal. Having people constantly come to visit and see how we were was simply not possible and having to turn people away from the door could be upsetting for all parties.\n\nThe most useful things we got were Money and people to talk to, whether via phone, facebook etc. Money helped take away a lot of the stress of being down to one income with one parent at hospital or home with my daughter at all times. It also allowed us to carry on with our lives as close to normality as possible which was a great coping mechanism for us. Having a child that might potentially die is emotionally overwhelming and being able to carry on as normal really helped a lot.\n\nHaving people to talk to helped take away the monotony of not being able to go out in public and generally feeling a bit isolated. Talking about mundane things like sport or the weather etc was good. We don't need to be constantly reminded about our childs illness, we are very aware of it!", "Organize meal trains for the family when their little one is in hospital. Whatever you guys have for supper, drop off some extra servings for them, because when the little one is in hospital, they won't want to leave to go home and cook, and living on fast food for extended periods is awful. Get neighbours or co-workers or whatever to pick nights and do the same. ", "One of the teenagers at the gym I train at was diagnosed with cancer recently. They have several younger siblings and the parents were already extremely busy. So we all signed up to cook meals for them for several months and our coaches dropped them off each week. It's ultimately a small thing, but time/worry saving, shows continued thought/support and is something almost anyone can contribute to. ", "Offering to cook is a great idea! \nAlso \n-housecleaning and laundry \n-gift cards for starbucks, panera, and gasoline ! \n-massages, haircuts, manicures, \"me time\" things that people neglect when they are preoccupied \n-dog walking/pet care (if applicable)\n-lawn and garden care\n", "Offer to take their pet for an extended period. It's often a hard situation. Cancer usually means immune suppression and animals are not advised and cause a lot of stress. But getting rid of a loved pet... Horrible. My sister took my dog for a year and we took him back after treatment. It was the best help I got. \nAlso, if they have other children, focus on them. In this situation 100% is going to the sick child. You feel guilty for neglecting the others but it can't be avoided.", "Offer to take the kid back- to - school shopping with yours. If it's possible and the parents aren't culturally averse (think Irish or Welsh), buy both kids' supplies. Tell them you'll mow the lawn, and maybe bring over the kid's favorite snack while you're doing it. Thanks for posting an unselfish and compassionate LPT request - not enough of those! ", "Offer to sit with them. \n\nMy niece was born with cancer and that was what made the most difference to my sister. Just not sitting alone in a hospital.", "Offer them help. They will be spending a lot of time and money on treatment. Ask them if you can get them groceries. If they have a dog, offer to come over to feed it/walk it. Help them with daily activities. All of these things seem small, but to your friends it will be a huge favor while their attention needs to be elsewhere.", "Not immediately, but when things have calmed a bit let them know about carepages.com. They can write about each step of their journey, allow them a space to share their thoughts, and they can invite friends and family to the page to read about how their child is doing and so they can leave messages for the family to read too. All for free. It's also nice to find other carepages of children and parents in similar situations to share tips and encouragement 1 with each other.\n\nThis helps so much as it gives them relief from having to answer repeatedly how their child is doing, they can post a link to the page on their social media and everyone can click on it, giving worried family and friends a way to be informed without feeling like they are bothering the parents.\n\nIf they are away from home for long periods of time - Mow their lawn, offer to collect their mail for them, if you are very close (and have the time) ask if they would mind if you stopped by everyday to feed animals/checked on their house to make sure it hasn't been tampered with/clean ever so often so they don't have to worry about clearing out dust or clean when they know they will have many guests coming when they get home. \n\nSet up gift boxes/donation spots for the family - So many times a family will be bombarded with gifts and donations with no time to collect, store, or go through the many gifts. Offer the idea that they open a donation/paypal account so that everyone can send money to it without giving them a bunch of checks and cash that they would then have to take to the bank. For gifts, offer to be a \"gift station\" for the family and collect for one large trip with everyone's gifts, cards, etc to the family instead of them having to worry about people popping up at all hours with well intentioned gifts. It's exhausting on a family so it would be a great help!\n\nLet them share their worries with you. You don't have to say anything, and if you haven't been through it never say \"I understand,\" you don't and it just takes away from them sharing with you. Let them talk about it all and offer to set up little breaks for each of them. They probably won't want to both be away from their child, but if they can each take a bit of a break and get away from the immense stress, it will do them both a lot of good. Offer to go do something that doesn't require a whole lot of doing, so probably not a dance night. Take them to the spa, go to a sporting event, whatever, just something they would enjoy. \n\nSource: All of this helped our family or would have helped our family a lot when my brother was diagnosed and we spent tons of time at the hospital.", "Not a parent and never had children but from reading the Facebook page of a local family who's daughter has leukemia here is what i can suggest; if they have any other children, offer to babysit - they are going to have a lot of hospital appointments and trips and dragging along additional children wont be fun. It is likely the will become quite isolated to avoid the spread of germs to their child, so when you are well, i am sure they would appreciate company from a friend and an adult. Taking coffee or cake or something around and having a visit would be lovely i am sure. If you offer to watch their kid/s and are at their house, help clean up a bit or make some dinner. As many others have suggested, mowing the lawn or helping around the yard would be greatly appreciated I'm sure. Theres nothing you can do to cure their kids cancer, but its a long and arduous battle and they will be dragged through hell so anything you can do to help them will be appreciated. And, as a piece of advice, dont forget this isnt a couple of weeks or months that this will go on (assuming the best) it will be years. Even though they wont be around at your playgroups or likely making thaaat much an effort to continue the friendship, i would urge you not to give up on them. Sorry for the long post, and i really hope their kid is okay. ", "My younger brother (age 17) was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma in 2015. What helped us the most was just having our family and friends help us stay positive. I took care of their dog and housework while my parents went out of town for his treatments, but we were brought food and gift cards to help make the little things in life that much easier.", "My niece has neuroblastoma since last October, she's still hanging in there, luckily. \n\nMy sister and brother in law once told me that they really appreciate the close friends who showed up with dinner, tools to tend the garden for a couple of hours, etc. \n\nHope it helps. ", "My niece had cancer when she was two. What we as a family did was pre-make dinners. Any pasta or cassarole freezes really nicely and can be re-heated with little to no work and has the up side of potentially having left overs. We hired a cleaning service to come once a week, this was because the idea of someone she knows cleaning her house eeked out my sister in law. Lastly we set her up with a pea pod account which is a local grocery delivery service, as much as we were giving her carb heavy food they needed veggies, this also helped when my niece was quarantined at the end of her treatment. Most of all just talking about regular life helped her a ton. Rehashing the shitty days of being in the hospital and what the doctor says over and over again sucks, sometimes you want to hear about other things. ", "My nephew was diagnosed at 6 years old August 2015. It's a terrible situation and really, unimaginable. I know my sister was not very willing to ask for help and would constantly turn down offers for the first six months. But anything that helps alleviate stress goes a long way. Don't ask, just do it and it will be appreciated. Let them provide updates and if they find time to spend they will need it and ask. But right now I'd stay behind the scenes. Helping with house chores, dinners, etc that are too difficult to worry about help a ton. Also money, the hardest thing to ask for and accept will be a constant stress. Setting up gofundme pages and organizing local find raisers that they just don't have time or energy for but desperately need are probably the biggest help the friends can be. Rally the families support team and engage the community to offer some financial assistance, the medical bills will pile up and pile up. Insurance will be a nightmare, and the hospital won't stop calling for payments. It's devastating to constantly worry about how you will continue treatment, do we need to sell the house, get a divorce to manipulate our income levels and separate our insurance etc. \nThese are trying times, they're lucky to have friends like you and I hope them the best. ", "My mom had cancer a few years ago, when my siblings were teenagers and I was early college. (She has recovered.) \n\nEveryone always said \"Tell me what I can do to help\" but we were all so emotionally exhausted, it was an insurmountable task to come up with something to delegate. Tell them or ask them about something specific (including the time and day). \n\nIt also bothered me when someone would do something but it took effort from us to benefit from it. There were several people at her church who would make a casserole for us, and then call me to come pick it up, acting like they deserve accolades for their selflessness. Lady, I have other things to do to help my mom -- leaving her bedside to *go get a cold casserole* from 25min away and then having to bring it back and heat it up (and then returning the pan later!) is not high on my list. \n\nThings we appreciated: \n\n- Bringing a meal in a dish we didn't have to return (like a foil pan) - and if you can include a salad or fruit, that's even better, no one ever thinks to bring fresh food to cancer patients\n- Telling us a day/time that they are coming over to do the dishes or work on the yard \n- Offering to clean out the car\n- Asking when the next appt is and asking if they can come sit with us\n- Asking if they can take us to a support group meeting (which they have already looked up the time and place, and will drive)\n- Gift basket for fun at home (when one person is sick, we all stay in -- but a new DVD, some popcorn and a couple boxes of candy make another regular night into something more special) \n\nThe most important part is to not require anything of them when you give. They may not be up for chatter. Don't bring dinner and then try to stay to eat it. We would end up turning down help from people who needed a lot of interaction when they came by. If I don't have the energy or emotional bandwidth to wash the dishes, then I definitely don't have it to gossip about church ladies. ", "My friend was exhausted giving people updates about his daughters leukemia treatments. I set up a caringbridge.com account and sent the link to anyone he wanted to update. Then his friends and family could read updates themselves. ", "My friend has a son who was diagnosed when he was 3 years old. Here's some ways to help out:\n- get a house key and clean up, do laundry, dishes, dusting, etc...\n- if they have to stay at the hospital on some nights, bring them homemade snacks (hospital food sucks). A little cooler bag with a sandwich, fruit and yogurt makes a great meal.\n- offer to take care of any pets. They are going to be forgotten for awhile and this can be a big stress relief for mom/dad if they have 1 less thing to worry about)\n- If they are home, bring over basic groceries (milk, veggies, bread, etc...)\n- Find out if they need special clothing for the child (if they do chemo, they could have tubes so button up tops are easier) and bring them to the parents\n- Buy them a parking pass for the hospital. Its really expensive at most hospitals but they offer weekly or monthly passes.\n- Offer to help go over paperwork. It is so emotional right now that they might miss stuff Doctors say. Help them read over the forms, info, nurses reports or any other paperwork. Sometimes talking it over helps everyone understand better the details and game plan\n- most importantly, be the friend they can rely on! Its going to be a long road of ups and downs. They need consistent support, not just for a couple days here or there. If you say you're going to do something or go visit, then please do it. I saw so many people make promises or plans that were never followed through.\n\nYour friends are very lucky to have you. I wish you and them all the best.", "My family knew this little girl who was diagnosed with cancer (I think leukemia) a few years back. We definitely tried to support her family and tried to be there for them always inviting them over and visited them during hospital visits. We also prayed for them while we were with them though they weren't religious. They started going to church and they found something to believe in and it comforted them. I don't really know if this helps, but I don't think you would be overbearing if you spent time trying to help the family through these hard times. From personal experience I think they need to surround themselves in a good environment and have people they can count on to get through it. ", "My daughter has a very large, non-cancerous brain tumor; an Optic Nerve Glioma. A very rare tumor found mostly in kids under the age of 10. She has permanently lost her vision in one eye.\nShe is undergoing chemo, the same used to fight cancer, having completed I believe 17 rounds since December, with 4 more to go.\n\nThe thing we needed most was gas cards and fast food gift cards. We have to travel 2 hours one way to take her to treatments, gas bill adds up really quickly.\nAnother helper would be to offer to babysit their other children, if they have any. My husband and I were on auto pilot for the first 3 months, and still resort to it at times now. We slept but never rested, but the opportunity to lay and rest is a rare gem. Maybe offer to clean their home, take care of pets, or give them frozen, prepared dinners.\nAnd most importantly, be supportive. Lending an ear and giving a hug is great, but showing your support through other means is incredible. For example, if there is a charity of some sort in his honor, be involved.", "My dad died from pancreatic cancer in 2013. What helped my mom was people driving her to visit him in the hospital and in the hospital. We live in Boston and traffic downtown can be bad which stressed my mom out even more. It was very helpful that people drove her to visit him. Maybe you could offer to drive them to appointments if possible. Where I live driving is stressful on a good day as people are crazy drivers here. That's just one idea. :) ", "My coworker found out her son had cancer only a week into my employment after taking him to have his lazy eye checked out. Only a week later her infant son had an emergency surgery to remove his eye.\n\nWhat I've learned is that you should NOT buy them a fruit basket. Apparently the fruit is out of season and the delivery guy expects a tip. She also had a family friend give a condolence card specifically about becoming disabled/handicapped. She was PISSED. Her in-laws are very religious and prayed and told her about how they are asking God for help. If you are religious and are going to pray on their child's behalf, great. BUT don't tell them that you're asking for God's help unless you KNOW that they are also religious and will appreciate the gesture. In my coworker's case she was angry that the in-laws failed to recognize the amazing work of the hospital staff.\n\nI DO suggest things like food. Maybe buy them a blue apron subscription for a month or two so that for a few days in the week dinner is very easy to prepare. If you make them dinner do so in disposable containers, and make sure it's freezeable or can be eaten on another day. The minor stress of \"who do I return this tupperware to?\" is an unnecessary one. And while it isn't a huge deal it can seem like a big deal to someone who is completely overwhelmed at the time. And the freezeability is so that the parents don't have 15 salmon dinners delivered from friends and wind up throwing most of them out because it doesn't keep.\n\nBuy them a gift certificate for a maid service. If you feel comfortable and it's reasonable to offer (given the child's current state of well being), offer to watch the child so that the parents can have a night to themselves. \n\nUnless they are doing well financially, they will most likely run into financial problems. While offering straight up money (depending on your own circumstances) can be considered rude, consider how you can help otherwise with finances. Gift cards to local grocery stores or children's clothing stores. ", "My brother was diagnosed with cancer at 9 months. I don't know if they have other children, but if they do taking the other kids out to like a movie or on an outing really helps. Helping out with meals is very generous too. ", "My brother died of cancer two years ago. I needed the most help with logistics. He lived on the opposite coast and I needed help to get to and from the airport every few days. I was already spending thousands of dollars on flights, saving me money on cabs and having someone to talk to on the way to the airport helped. ", "My brother died from lukemia before I was born. \n\nMy dads best friend has a son the samw age and they were basically best friends, someone who was always there to play with him after chemo and watch movies and whatever. My mother has always had a great relationship with him. Ultimately my brother passed away and affected everyone differently but when it came to graduate high school, my brothers friend created a scholarship in his name. Basically I'm just saying be there, don't forget about them and if you can, create a legacy. The scholarship was created in 2004 and is still helping put people though college.", "My best friends little brother died in a car accident when he was 4, I organized a car wash to help with funeral costs and medical bills. We raised over 5k, best part is the entire town came out some people just donating hundreds of dollars and not even getting a wash. So you could try to raise some money for them, I was 14 when it happened and me and a few friends organized it with the local fire department whom my friends father was a member. ", "My 7 year old daughter is fighting Leukemia. She was diagnosed on Oct 7th 2015. She has completed the first 9 months of heavy duty chemo and is now in the \"maintenance\" phase of treatment. Here are some tips from the parent of a childhood cancer patient, presented in no particular order: \n1) If you were friends before cancer just keep being their friend. \n2) Get them some gift cards for places that are helpful like restaurants near their house or hospital, grocery stores, and department stores. \n3) Listen to your friends worries and concerns and do your best to help out WITHOUT being asked first. It's very hard to ask somebody to do the day to day things in your life. Tell them you want to help with the things that they cant get to like lawn, paint, pool maint, etc and then just go do it while they are in clinic or inpatient. \n4) When they are in the hospital for long stays bring them good food, changes of clothes, dvd's ,etc. \n5) Make sure not to start every talk with \"cancer\" or \"how is he/she doing today?\" \n5) During calm times try to do some normal things with your friend like watch stupid movies or talk about NASCAR or whatever your things are. \n6) Don't take their need for space one day to mean \"I always need space\". Its hard to determine when to come around and when to back off but don't give up! Some people don't know what to say and end up drifting off and just not being around. \n7) Don't say the word \"Journey\" unless you have some plane tickets in hand. \n8) Don't say \"everything happens for a reason\" \n9) If their child has siblings please don't always refer to them in the light of their brother/sister as in \"You are doing such a great job being so strong for your brother/sister\" instead tell them how great they are for the things they do. \"You are such a smart kid!\" \n10) If you were friends before cancer just keep being their friend. ", "Most of it's been covered in the top few comments, but there was a great program on NPR a couple days ago - I think it was Fresh Air - that talked about exactly this. It's an hour long, but you could probably listen to the first half of it and get the gist.", "Might be good if, once their little one is strong enough (chemo can wipe out your immune system), your kid could spend some time with theirs just playing and hanging out. Illness can be so isolating, and it might be good for the little guy just to get to be a kid amongst all the treatments and appointments. Even if they just watch cartoons or color together, something like that. ", "Meals. Homemade and read to heat up. \nAnd chances to go out in the real world and be a grown up and a person (not at parent to a cancerkid) take them out one ad a time to a cafe, a spa treatment ect - what ever they like. ", "Maybe just offer your time? Offer to mow the yard when the kid is gone somewhere so mom and dad can sleep and stuff like that. Let them get more rest / quality time. ", "Make up crockpot frozen dinners in advance - throw them in freezer bags, name them, date them, write the instructions on the bags. Even a week's worth is a huge help when all you have to do is throw it in the pot in the morning, believe me. Look for Leanne Ely's Crock Pot series. She's a lifesaver.", "Make them some meals. Like a lasagna, a garlic bread and a salad. People that are dealing with stressful situations often forget to keep up with having decent meals.", "Let them know that you want to help, but you don't know what to do. In situations like this, people often stay silent because they don't know what to say; it's much better to say that you don't know what to say. \n\nWhen my mom was going through cancer (she's in remission now but it was late stage and terrifying), my family really appreciated the people who would just make an effort to continue doing typical friendship activities. Go to the movies together, go for a walk, invite them over for dinner, and generally try to do the things you already do together. Everyone wants to be a shoulder to cry on, but people also need to live and laugh and escape the sadness of it all. Helping to maintain a sense of normalcy can make a big difference. ", "Just listen; be there when they want/need. Don't offer suggestions or advice.\n\nSource: Mom has been battling cancer for at least a decade.", "Just be there for them without saying you know what they are going through. Hear their story's and complaints and give them your attention. And don't hesitate to look them in the eye and say: how are you....\n\nThat's much more valuable then money", "It's been said here many times, but food is honestly one of the greatest way to help. Go buy the disposable foil pans so the family doesn't have to worry about keeping track of your dishes and getting them back to you. Make lots of food. Bring some hot that can be eaten that night, and bring some that freezes and reheats well. Write reheating instructions on the foil on top. \n\nIt's a caring and comforting thought, as well as functional. When my mother was going through treatment, people bringing food meant some of the most to her and my family. Cancer is expensive and takes up every bit of your time. There is almost never time to cook. It will be lots of hospital cafeteria food and fast food/ takeout. That all gets old and a good home cooked meal can be so nice to indulge in with the added benefit of being a good morale booster.\n\nAlong the same lines of no extra time, do tasks for them. Clean the house, run errands, yard work, etc. Even simple things like washing a vehicle are nice. It may not physical help anything, but the morale boost is what is needed.\n\nAs sincere as you mean it, asking \"what can I do to help?\" will go largely unused. For us, we didn't want to ask too much of anyone and physically couldn't think of anything many times. Your mental energy is just completely drained from the entire thing.\n\nAnother huge thing to help is company. Just being there for someone physically and emotionally. But there will be lots of company around. Especially at the beginning. The dinner thing is tricky, many times my mom and our family liked for the person or family who brought us dinner to stay and eat with us. The companionship was very much appreciated. But sometimes, we very much wanted to be left alone. It sounds terrible, especially when they were kind enough to bring food and help so much. But especially after a hospital stay, where you are constantly being check on and intruded on, being with just you family is all you want. The alone time and privacy is what was needed to recharge sometimes. It's a chance to forget about it for a moment too, try to be just the family you were before the cancer started. As someone trying to help and support, that will most likely be the hardest part to judge is when to stay and when to go. My suggestion is to err on the side of giving them privacy and alone time. If they ask you to stay, certainly feel free. But that way you won't intrude on family time.\n\nMy last bit of advice is to not just do this for the first week/month whatever, but to continue with it. It's a process that can last a very long time and while in some ways you get used to it, in others it will continually wear you down.", "Inform them of other options such as cannabis treatments. Chemo for such a young age should not be the only option. ", "In terms of food, many times when families go through situations like this, our church will organize a schedule of food deliveries. (Different families will volunteer for time slots.) \n\nIf you all have a lot of mutual friends, you could take the initiative to set something like that up. And then put together a guide of their favorite foods, allergies, etc for the volunteers.\n\nYou could even take the schedule one step further and add all kinds of things you've asked people to volunteer for--mowing the yard, cleaning the house, babysitting.", "In my parent's community, there was a 5yro girl with cancer and the medical bills were stacking up. The community got together and organized an event to auction off various things and all of the proceeds went to the little girl's medical fees.\n\nI believe they organized a group dinner (buffet style) somewhere local where they could rent a room for a \"party\" where the auction would be held. People in the community then donated various things to put up for auction (e.g. art, golf lessons, vacation using timeshare points, massage, etc).\n\nI think they raised something around $20k total.", "In addition to toher household chores like cooking and cleaning, offer to help with laundry! Coming home to laundry that is clean and folded helps bring back a level of normalcy in their lives.", "Ill tell you from persona experience of the kid(me) me having cancer and other speaking to me/my family.\n\n\nBE DIRECT. \nDo not beat around the bush.\nDo not compare any thing that you've been in to cancer.\nDo not sympathize them.\nDo not force them or push them more than once to do anything.\nDo whatever they want to do at all times.\nBring them weed.(ALOT OF IT TOO, BEST MEDICATION I WASNT PRESCRIBED- SURE its a 5 year old but it truly works) \nTake him to events, baseball, basketball etc.\n\nOffer to watch him while in hospital\n\n\nABOVE ALL ELSE, DO NOT BRING RELIGION INTO IT OR SAY \"GOD ONLY GIVES PEOPLE WHO CAN HANDLE IT..\"- regardless if its true or not, dont say it, we dont want to hear it.\n\n\nThere is many many more items to do, just don't be a pussy about it. Grab the situation by the horns and be direct. \n\nI hope the kid gets better soon, cuz cancer sucks the hardest.", "If you want to help in any way, like making or buying food for his family or anything else. Don't ask him if he wants anything, just do it. A grieving person probably isn't going to want to feel like he's taking charity, and most likely won't ask to help. Unless it's something you aren't sure he'd appreciate, then ask, but if you know it'll get a positive reaction out of him, just do it. ", "If you know the hospital where they'll be getting treatment, try to get them a gift card for the cafeteria or somewhere nearby that they like. They will often be at the hospital at odd times, and not having to worry about carrying change for food is a small help. ", "If you have the means, facilitate a family trip or vacation for them before all the bad shit starts...", "If they're ever at the hospital we found (not cancer related) that rolls of quarters or just stopping by for an hour to let us go somewhere real quick was a huge help. ", "If they have other kids I think an ideal thing to do is offer to babysit while the parents are tied up in the hospital. \n\nAlso, offering to do things around their house (like another person mentioned, gardening, grocery shopping) is important.\n\nEverybody wants to help at first but being the friends who continues to help 3, 6, 12 months down the line is rare and that's often when help is needed the most. ", "If they have another child help take care with babysitting. Food, lots of food that they can reheat (i.e. make stuff for the freezer), snacks they can take to the hospital.\n\nFood = love. ", "If they have a freezer, make them a few meals. There will be bad days, and having one less thing to think about on those days is helpful.", "If the child is going to have to sit for many hours for chemo there is a lot you can do to make that easier. Offer to sit with the child one day so the parents can have a day off. Read with the kid, bring toys to keep him occupied, stuff like that can be a big help. ", "ITT. Great ideas and a lot of compassion. What came to mind for me was the little things like purchasing a parking pass for the hospital .\n\n", "I'm so sorry your friends are going through this. My husband and I went through a similar situation - we don't have any children, but our best friends' 2 year old was diagnosed with Liver Cancer. \nWe tried really hard to just do anything they asked. If they needed someone to pick up their other child, we were there. If they needed to just leave the hospital for awhile, we watched him for them so they could have an evening away. Really, all you can do is listen and try to do even the most menial tasks. \n\nI hope their child is okay! Good luck to all of you. ", "I'm not sure if this is close enough to your case, but when I was 13-15 years old, a girl from my class had an older brother with brain cancer (AFAIR, at least a terminal kind of cancer). When we were once to ourselves I told her something like this: \"I don't know what to say or what to do, but if you ever need someone to talk to or whatever you need, just tell me. I'm here for you\". I think she just said \"thank you\", but I could tell, that it made a difference for her. I wasn't trying to give her advice she didn't want or anything like that. I just gave her an open offer, which she could accept or not anytime she wanted to.", "I would just do instead of ask. If they have good insurance, they won't have to worry as much about the medical expenses. I would help them with cooking and cleaning. There will be a crap ton of hospital visits and the house will need to stay very clean if their kid goes through chemo. Get them a maid service that is certified and get them a bunch of meals prepped or get a personal chef for a bit. \n\nTheir focus will be entirely on their kid and this will take its toll on their mental health. Paying for some therapy would be a god send. ", "I was the kid in this scenario. My parents have told me that the people who were most helpful were indeed the ones who would not ask how they could help but would be specific about how they would help. Also, my Mom has told me that she was abandoned by many friends because they just couldn't take it. Letting your friends cry and just listening is a help. Not turning away from their terror and grief (because it exists even if chemo and everything go as hoped). Remember that part of grief is anger, rants may happen. Unless you are asked to give a solution please don't. Unsolicited advice was common for my mom and she said it was usually well meaning but subtly (and not so subtly) a blame game. We had friends who weren't allowed to play with me any more because people either didn't want to have to explain it to their kids or they didn't want them to 'catch the cancer'. Yes, really. Small town, lack of education. Whatever. My Mom and Dad have told me that having a strong support group of people they could talk to was paramount. ", "I was just diagnosed with stage 3 kidney cancer and had a nephrectomy. My recovery has been really tough. Have had plenty of people say, \"let me know how I can help.\" Don't just say that. Ask if you can bring a meal by this week. Can I mow the lawn for you this week? If not this week can I come do it for you next week? Just be specific when asking! My wife and I really need help around the house but hate to call our busy friends asking for help! ", "I was diagnosed with cancer at age 11. Here are some things I could think of. \n\nMy mother watched me in the hospital while my stepfather watched my siblings. For meals, whoever is at the hospital will likely only have access to the cafeteria, or sometimes a bagged caregiver lunch that consists of mystery salad sandwich and chips. Things like a clean change of clothes or a decent meal (besides fast food) would have made my mother's stays with me a lot easier I think. \n\nGift cards were always helpful because money got tight, but we were still able to have a \"fun\" meal when I got back from chemo sessions because of them. \n\nChecking up on them periodically would be helpful too. If you ask if they need anything and they decline, checking back later would make it easier on them if they do need help with something. \n\nOne simple thing that my mom and I appreciated was having snacks available. My family has always been a bunch of snackers, and one of the things that cheered my mom and I up were these 5lb boxes of twizzlers. They'd last forever, and were one of the few snacks that didn't mess with my stomach. \n\nHope this helps! ", "I used to receive treatments in the same hospital/infusion room as the kids with cancer. \n\nIf their child is undergoing chemo and you're close enough to them, perhaps offer to drive them or go as a support network for big visits. Offer to bring food, and take the child's dietary concerns to heart. My father went through chemo up until he passed away and the foods he could eat were pretty limited. Some of it sat okay with the chemo, others came back up. \n\nOn top of that, it might be helpful to organize a fundraiser (with their permission first!) if the expenses get out of hand...which they probably will. \n\nIf the 5yo is a little girl she may (or may not) want a wig. Some kids don't care, others notice they're \"different\" and feel self-conscious about being too different from the other kids. Wigs are expensive. Human hair wigs even moreso. If they have wigs for kids that could be something else to look into to help them gain their confidence back. \n\nOther than that - making the family food and doing things with them to give them some semblance of normalcy. Bringing over home-cooked meals, inviting them to dinner, offering to babysit the child in question so they can have a night to themselves. \n\nGood on you for caring so much, but remember that every family is different. Some handle this like champs, others drown under the stress.", "I put together a chemo care package for a friend who recently was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. filled it with everything I could think of that was cuddly and fun and nice. Candy, fuzzy socks and gloves, coloring books, just anything I thought would be nice. \n\nYou could put together a nice box for the child with fun things. Chemo is scary but by the time it starts its just BORING. Fun kid games/things they could do with their child to keep him/her entertained would be nice. \n\nAlso, just basic services for the parents. Maybe see if you could get a maid service to come once or twice a month to clean their house. Get them gift cards to places they can eat ESPECIALLY places close to the hospital so they could pop out quickly or even have it delivered. \n\nDo they have animals? Offer to watch them/walk them/play with them to take it off their plate. \n\nOther posters have suggested offering to do specific chores for them, that's great advice. A lot of times people don't know how to ask for what they need in a situation as stressful and draining as this will be. \n\nDepending on how close you are to them, offer to be their contact for other people, basically instead of them being inundated with 25+ people asking what they can do, they can say OP is going to be the person who will organize help and that way they get to focus on their child and only have one person to say \"hey we need this\" and you can reach out to people who have offered to help. \n\nWell done for wanting to be there. You are a good friend. ", "I know someone personally whose husband passed of cancer. She kept a blog about their journey and one of the things she mentions is purchasing them a gift certificate for house cleaning services or hiring someone to come by and help clean. The meals help too so after long days at the doctor they can just pop them in. And when chatting, not focusing on the cancer and just on their hobbies/interests/anything else that brings them joy. ", "I heard an NPR story (or some other radio interview), tips I specifically remember from the parents talking:\n\n1) having someone run point in all updates was a great help. They mentioned setting up MySpace (yes that old) where they could update status. Parents indicated talking about cancer was good mentally, but being a broken record got to them after 10-20 updates\n2) having someone coordinate visitors for them. They would tell coordinator we plan to be home this Saturday from 1-5 and willing to see people, coordinator would reach out to people who previously expressed interest and the coordinator was the 'bad' person pushing promptness both coming and going so the family didn't have to deal with it\n3) having someone coordinate food deliveries to the house. Initially everyone thought it was a great idea to donate food, but when you get 2-3 Honeybaked hams in one day and then nothing for 2 weeks it was silly\n4) having someone coordinate chores people were willing to do (mow the lawn, change oil in cars, pick up groceries, etc)\n\nBasically, personal assistants type stuff. ", "I have a kid who is medically complex and has had multiple surgeries and hospitalizations. I didn't read all the other comments but I noticed bringing food and that's always a good idea because everyone has to eat but sometimes they're too busy or not in the mood to cook. Hospital food, although the surprisingly not bad, can get old. I don't have any other kids but offering to watch any other kids if they have them would seem super helpful. I also really appreciated with people visited because it does get boring and lonely in the hospital. Make sure they are in the mood to have visitors because they could be tired or just want to be alone.\n\nLastly, just do what my good friend would do and listen if they need to talk or give little gifts to show you care. It really meant a lot when people even did little things because unfortunately most people don't do anything. They just say \"let me know if you need anything\" and when I was in the middle of dealing with everything, it's hard to think of anything else other than coping with the situation. ", "I had kidney cancer when I was a kid. I remember wanting to be left alone by adults I didn't know that well. It really bothered me when people tried to be empathetic, cheerful around me. The thing I wanted most was to be left alone with kids my age. ", "I didn't read all of the comments but my advice for any extremely emotional and difficult situations with family or friends is just to listen. A lot of people try and offer advice or claim to empathize which is just impossible. Offer an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. And if they ask for space, give it to them. ", "I am on the board of a charity that helps families with young kids who have been diagnosed with cancer. We provide monetary support and the kinds of things you would expect but something we do that most other kids cancer charities don't do is provide for family activities. Parents get so focused on a sick kid that they let a lot of things slide, including providing for other kids and themselves. We send families to the zoo, amusement parks, Disney on Ice-- things like that. Things they wouldn't feel comfortable spending money on because they aren't \"necessities.\" We also provide holiday treats for kids in the hospital who don't get to celebrate-- halloween costumes; easter egg hunts; 4th of july baskets with treats and bubbles and flags and stuff. We try to help them feel \"normal.\" \n\nWhat this family needs may depend heavily on their situation-- are there other kids? Is the hospital nearby (if not-- get them gift cards for restaurants near the hospital)? Are they financially stable? But regardless they will need help just living their lives. Maybe offer to clean or hire them a maid for a day? Come over and do yard work. Offer to just go food shopping for them (even if they insist on paying). ", "I am not sure about everyone else, but I hated it when people stopped me in town or stopped by the house asking \"Is your dad ok?\" or \"How's your dad doin'?\" or \"I heard your dad was (insert horrible medical emergency)\" every 5 min so they could have the latest gossip. If you never asked about my family the last 30 years I have known you, I don't expect you to now. I also hated it when people would randomly pay for my food or gas everytime they saw me or my family. I know they are trying to be nice, it just made me feel like beggar everyone is giving money to for extra karma (if that makes since). However, the nicest thing someone has done is call one of my family members from time to time to talk about things other than medical bills and cancer. we are well aware of insurance coverage, what my father is supposed to eat, and what your mother did when she had cancer or which doctor he's using. Talking about work or even a ball game is a breath of normalcy in a hectic time. My neighbor would come over to the house every sunday to watch the NASCAR race with my dad and shoot the shit with him. It was nice because for those 4-5 hours, dad forgot about cancer and was his normal self. Basically the nicest thing you can do is be normal.", "I am going to add to offer to come clean their house as well. My mom went through chemo two years ago and had to be very careful to not get sick because of her killed immune system. It seemed as if all we did when we weren't at the hospital with her was clean the house to make sure it was ok for her to come home to. ", "I am a pediatric cancer survivor. I had cancer from age 2-6 years, and I am now 33 years old! My mother started a school for kids with cancer because I couldn't be around normal kids. Because of this I got to still go play with kids and it allowed me to behave like a normal child. I know this would be a large undertaking but something along these lines will help the child grow up without missing out on being a child and meeting developmental milestones. Feel free to ask me any questions.", "Hi there. I have been going through treatment since I was two (teenager now) and I can't tell you the best thing to do to help the family. However, I remember a lot of things that helped me through all these treatments.\n\n\n1.\tMakeAWish -- I never got mine, however a family friend got me a referral. It's awesome to give hope and help the kid's passion/imagination grow.\n\n\n2.\tLetters -- Nice handwritten letters are amazing to receive. Get as many as you can from as many people and friends as you can.\n\n\n3.\tGifts -- If the kid loves Lego, go for it. Star Wars & Legos kept my moral up going through surgery at 7 years old.\n\n\n4.\tMeals -- a lot of people sent me comfort food when I went through radiation. I actually don't recommend sending in a crap ton of candy-- it's not very healthy. I think baking something or preparing a meal is a LOT better.\n\n\nGood luck. Hope this helps!", "Hey, kid who had cancer here. I haven't heard a single piece of advice here thst isn't stellar. The only thing I would add is this: don't talk to them any differently. I can't reallynspeak pb how this affects the parents, but I can tell you that, as a kid, you notice when people start talkin to or abou you differently, and that only adds to all the stress they're dealing with just living their new day-to-day life", "Hey there! Last year my step son was diagnosed with Bilateral Retinoblastoma, Cancer of the eyes for those who don't know. I haven't used this profile much but there is some info about him in my comments. Things that helped the most were things you might not think would. Of course there's the obvious; Bring food, offer to watch other kids, offer to run errands. So many people offered help, but it was so hard to ask sometimes. We had weekend chemo treatments for him, so people offered to let out our dog. Some cleaned while they were there. Brought food. Emotional support was such a big deal. We had no idea what was going on sometimes. Having someone we could vent our frustrations to, cry and yell at over the phone or in person really made things a bit lighter. People set up dates for Dad and I, we ran ourselves dead sometimes so having people \"force\" us to take a break was needed. If you can maybe setup a benefit for them. It helps a little more than just sharing a GoFundMe. Maybe do a cookout where you offer food $5 a plate. Depending on where they are getting treatment, they might need help with transportation. there are some programs that help but they can be quite a hassle. We live about 45mins from our children's hospital so the drive wasn't bad but gas cards helped. if they stay over night money to eat at the cafeteria helps too. We were given $6 vouchers once a month, but those went right away. Also if they have siblings make sure to spend time with them. If you bring a gift for the kid with cancer, bring something for them as well. There will be so much gifts and attention put on the child fighting that sometimes siblings get left behind... If you have any other questions feel free to PM me! I'll try to help as much as I can!", "Heavily needed gifts -\n\nHospital food and eating out gets expensive, gift cards go a really long way.\n\nMoney - This may be obvious, but it may not be asked for since it makes many uncomfortable or embarrassed to ask no matter how strong the need. Give anyway.\n\nGifts for the child - hospitals are boring and scary, especially for small children. Buy gifts and games that are age appropriate, easy to use, and are not too noisy. Toys with loud sounds or bright flashing lights can hurt or overwhelm a child's senses when they are already experiencing loud hospital noises, heavy medications, etc. Not to mention they might disturb other patients. Plush toys are fun, comforting, and safe as long as they are easy to clean. So try to avoid the really long furred or super fuzzy ones.\n\nQuilts, soft pillows, blankets -Chemo pretty much makes all of your senses super sensitive. Giving them something super soft is a nice exchange to feeling the harsh fabric of hospital blankets. \n\nNothing smelly - read above, chemo changes your sense of smell and makes everything 10x stronger. No fun :(\n\nCards for the whole family - The (imo) best gift to give. They can all collect and keep these cards for encouragement and they can plaster them throughout the room so their baby can see them everyday and know how much they are loved. It's been 7 years since my brother passed away and I still read the cards. \n\n**DO NOT GIVE FLOWERS OR PLANTS** -Flowers seem to be the go to gift for people in hospitals, on regular occasions it's really great, giving them to cancer patients isn't one of them. You may not even be allowed to take them to the oncology floor at all, as a lot of wards ban them. Reason being is that flowers carry a lot of danger in them to cancer patients. They can fill a ward/room with allergens/spores, smells that nauseate weak patients, can spread infections.", "Having had cancer in the past, it's actually pretty easy.\n\nAsk what you can do, and then do it. Don't make false promises. Don't say \"hey, I'll visit every week\" and then not do it. Help them feel normal and that not everything is \"cancer this\" or \"cancer that\". It will already define their world to some extent, give the whole family something else to think about when with them.\n\nAnd for the love of God, if you or anyone is sick or think your coming down with something, stay away. The kid's immune system will likely be heavily compromised depending on the treatment, and no in the family will have the energy for yet another thing.", "Have your son draw pictures and things and letters to him. How about they start a diary together and one kid gets one one night the other the next? They can be like pen pals. As for the parents, you should ask them if they need a house sitter! Also make them meals.", "Have them go to a social worker. My aunt is a social worker and she deals with this kind of thing. Kids who have cancer ,whether it's terminal or not, and she will help the child and the parents deal with it.", "Gofundme? See if you can set up some kind of meal train amongst friends and make meals that can be frozen and reheated so they don't have to worry about cooking? I don't know. I'd be fucking devastated. Best of luck. ", "Give them your time. Help them out. Help them with animals, watering plants, show up to hang at the hospital while one parent goes home to catch a nap or shower, pay bills etc. get the mail, separate the mail so it looks less taxing. My two cents as a person in the hospital for several weeks.", "Give them a break. If they have other kids, take them for a weekend. Volunteer to babysit or pet-sit or house-sit, but give them a weekend to process it. The hardest part of having a sick kiddo is being a grownup. You want to scream, sob, and break stuff but you can't because you have to keep it together so the kiddo won't be as scared as they probably should be. Give them a chance to vent those emotions. ", "For meals: don't make them worry about returning bashing dishes or Tupperware. Make everything disposable or put a note that says you don't want the Tupperware back.\n\nAlso, consider a meal that is warm when you drop it off, but that they can easily freeze of it doesn't work for that evening. \n\nConsider buying a cheap, Styrofoam cooler and just drop off a meal any time, then text them about it. Don't even knock.", "For easy meals, get some gallon sized (freezer) bags and throw together some stuff they can just dump into it and turn on the crock pot for a meal. There are plenty of recipes that are literally \"put this stuff in the crockpot, turn it on low for 8 hours\". Boom, dinner and some leftovers depending on the family size. Hell, even vegetable trimmings and bones can be used to make broths for soups and stews later on.\n\nPS - Good luck to your friends. They're lucky to have someone thoughtful like you in their lives.", "Food. Also, the kid will have a lot of time in the hospital. If you are willing to spend time hanging out, that would be helpful to keep spirits up.", "Food, mom an dad are going to be running around a lot, cooking will fall by the wayside. Having a meal either made for you fresh, of having a stockpile of something you've made ahead and froze that they can bake at their convienience without prep.\n\nDepending on how well you know the family, offering to help out with household chores can be a huge help. \n\nMy mom was in an awful accident and in hospital for months. My dad, brother and I were just constantly at the hospital or dealing with other fall out that we really didn't have time in the day for normal stuff.\n\nWe had friends that would come by and take our dogs for a walk, make sure they were fed. My grandmother was a *saint* and did laundry and dishes. Another couple of folks were constantly dropping off frozen meals they made so we could have something to eat when we had time.", "Food! The answer to this question is food. They are going through so much right now that the thought of doing the simple, mundane, everyday things like cooking or eating gets completely forgotten . Bring over a lot of food. Stuff they can eat now, and stuff to throw in the freezer. I've fortunately never had to experience anything like what your friend's family is going through, but food has always been the standard in my family when someone is going through something rough. ", "Food food and more food. They are going to be going through so much right now, running around to see doctors and pick up drugs, seeing family and friends, school, work and everything else that parents have to do normally. \n\nIf you can cook some large meals (lasagne, pizza, stew) that can be frozen and microwaved at anytime you give them on less thing to worry about. If you cant cook get them some just eat vouchers or something similar. Stock up their fridge/freezer with simple meals so they don't go hungry or end up spending a fortune on delivery.", "FOOD!!! HEALTHY FOOD!\nPeople forget that to heal they have to eat a lot healthier. Bring over some healthy foods, fruits, vegetables or shake ingredients, or even make something healthy yourself but everyone loves food and it's especially important to helping during cancer. My uncle had breast cancer aggressive chemo and one of the most helpful things he found was improving his diet.", "Everything everyone has said is great. In addition, depending on what kind of help their family already has, you could offer to do stuff like laundry, kitchen cleaning -- basic necessary chores. ", "Everyone has some really great suggestions here! When my mom and aunt went through treatments, the wait times for them were rough. Maybe get some puzzles, books and games for the child with cancer to keep him/her entertained during treatment. ", "Encourage them to move to Colorado and get hemp oil capsules. \n\nSeriously. \n\nhttps://www.facebook.com/OfferHopeForLandon/", "Don't try too hard. Make sure basic things are done for them. Make them dinner. Run their errands. It's the little things that will add up for them. Not grand gestures.", "Don't ask just do. Simple things like cooking and mowing the lawn / cleaning around the house will help so much. Coming home feeling shitty and seeing a shitty looking house just makes it worse", "Do they have other kids? The school year is just about to start. Take them school supply shopping, figure out what they eat and pack them some lunches/drive them to school/help fill out their paperwork and homework. ", "Child will come back neutropenic offer to get a team together and steam clean the hell out of the house/apartment.\n\nANYTHING to get the kid to eat. ", "Cancer survivor. A small thing, but something i never had and should have. A filling thing. Somewhere to put all the paperwork you should have 10 years later when your with a new dr and they ask your history.\n\nIt's something you always mean to buy and always forget. Sometimes years later you just don't have the pertinent information.", "Cancer survivor here. The key to helping is to understand how it feels. I found out at 30, and for years up to that point I had been having issues. Doctors said my symptoms were psychosomatic. I knew better. The cancer was a relief, but it also made me sad. WTF did I do wrong, why do I deserve this, what will I do now? Self pity, loathing, mental anguish plagued me for all of 3 days. I sat in my room, and did not leave. It took some time, but I appreciate life a bit more now. \n\nThere will be days when their son is tired, and just needs rest. There will be days when he is sad, and needs to get out, and find reasons to enjoy life. What helped me was an active hobby I can really get behind. You say you have money; what does he enjoy? \n\n- Pro art set paint brushes, acrylic, oils, etc.\n- Tinkering with tools, fixing things? Tools are incredibly expensive\n- Maybe he enjoys graphic design; Pro GPU on a swanky PC would be a dream\n- Technically minded for engineering? CAD classes on the same GPU. I am currently going through this school, and a decent amount of it is youtube videos which I can ask my prof for the links. I have an extra college book to give him if he wants, hardly used. message me for this.\n- Gardening; it is truly rewarding to plant things that will one day give back; I prefer perennials. \n\nIn short, a hobby not only entertains, but motivates, and distracts from the shit you don't want to think about. My wife just came in, and I read asked her advice, and while re-reading, I noticed the kid was 5... I'm leaving it up because plenty of people have cancer.\n\nHer reccomendations; mowing grass, meals, baking, clean house, companionship. Their time will be inundated with doctor visits, and other chores, life will suffer. Buy things that will make their lives easier for them. Be there to talk, sometimes, people just need someone to verbally vomit all over. A listener is what they will need, NOT ADVICE!!! Their son will need a friend who doesn't treat him like broken eggshells. While his physical capacity will probably be somewhat diminished, he will still want to be seen as a peer. If bedridden, maybe a mobile game system type setup. VR may be an option if he wants to see the world. You didn't mention how bad he is...VR may be able to grant his last wishes of seeing the world.\n\n", "Bringing food is always a good way to be a help. Something that can be frozen and cut out into servings and microwaved is best. Works for funerals, babies, anything that will take their time and energy, cooking is one less thing for them to worry about then.", "Bring them food. It doesn't have to be fancy. It shouldn't be sweets. Just bog standard food. Think pasta bakes and pies. Things that last a few days and you can eat cold. ", "Bring them food, do their dishes, and help clean their house. They will be super busy trying to keep house clean so he won't get sick and having someone help clean is great as well as cook\n\nLived with grandmother as she got chemo, someone helping clean or cook is the best \n\nReally anything new you can do that makes it so they don't leave house, they have as few people over as possible, and you do something helpfull so they have one less thing to think about ", "Be there well passed the \"just found out\" time. My son just finished 4 years of cancer treatment and everyone under the sun threw help at us at first. Then, after the first 2 months, the novelty wore off, people got occupied with the next thing in their lives, and it all stopped. \n\nSo... But all means, send a card and toy for the kiddo to use during treatments, cook a meal, mow their yard. All of the suggestions here are good. But do them again on month 4 and month 9. The fight is no less shitty for the kid the longer it goes on, and the parents are no less exhausted, terrified, and overwhelmed. Be there when the newness of the diagnosis has worn away for most people. ", "Be there for them and listen.\n\nAlso, very important, when you see that they are getting overwhelmed, help them out with practical things. Mow the lawn, babysit their pets, whatever. That takes a load of superflous worries off their mind.", "Be present. We lost our first daughter after 26 days in the NICU. I'll never forget the people who hung out in the waiting room for hours, showed up on our doorstep with steak and beers, and just made sure we we knew we were loved. \nBe proactive. Passive offers aren't helpful. They put the burden on the receiver. ", "Be available. I've been through the child cancer thing. \n\nVery different story, it was my girlfriend who was diagnosed at 17, so when I was with her through treatment it was on the pediatric cancer ward.\n\nThat place was heartbreaking. I couldn't believe how many children didn't even know they were never going to go home. So interacting with them and their parents was an exercise in humility.\n\n\"Will I play guitar hero with you? Fuck yeah I'll play guitar hero with you\" to the kids\n\n\"Need a drink tonight? Fuck yeah I'll grab a drink with you\" to the parents\n\nDon't try to anticipate shit. Don't even try to understand what they are going through. Just be available for any request made of you.", "At first I just want to say that I'm sorry to hear about the cancer. My in-laws recently lost their youngest son to cancer. During the ten months it lasted, the one thing father-in-law complained about was that he didn't have one single normal conversation. He understood that everybody just meant to show support and love by asking how his son was doing. But he missed talking to people about something else than the disease. Having a small talk about the weather/sports/news is a nice relief from all the depressing things they are going through. I see many comments on bringing them food and help with chores, yes that is nice thing to do but don't forget that the little escape from reality really helps the parents.", "Ask them. They know what they need. Be sincere. Emphasize you are sincere. Demonstrate that sincerity by bringing something that will help when you go over. A casserole, a box of sympathy doughnuts/bottle of wine. List things you are willing to do, drive them to appointments, be a babysitter if they have other kids, wahtever you can do list it out, and then tell them to let you know. Tell them again on occasion if they don't ask. Call them with specifics, \"Hey do you need us to watch Melissa while you take Timmy to chemo?\" \"Hey, do you need us to watch TIMMY while you guys have a discussion or some decompression time?\" \"Hey I am making a vat of spaghetti sauce, HOW MANY jars do you want?\" \n\nMake specific suggestions and ask them what they need. ", "As the parent of a child who suffered a life threatening illness I would offer this -\nStarbucks cards, fuel cards, restaurants gift cards, etc. are usually appreciated.\nA neighbor surprised me by mowing our lawn.\nOffer to chauffeur other kids to where they need to go - sports, school, etc.\nBasically let them know that you want to help and don't forget to repeat the offer. The parents mindset will focused on medical stuff and not \"hear\" the offer.", "As permission first, but set up a dinner and visit calendar and make them a hospital basket. A co-worker was in the same place two years ago and really appreciated it's doing this. One or two people from your community sign up for each week. Their job is to make two night's worth of meals and visit the family. \n\nThe basket should have hospital friendly items. Things like power bars, individually packaged fruit snacks, etc. Any toys, blankets, and hats need to be low allergenic and easily washable. Also have some hard toy options that can be sanitized at the hospital. \n\nMost cities have a ton of family support. Sadly, it is sometimes hard to figure out what the options are, so you could research on your area for this. Things like support groups, specialized therapies like music therapy, babysitting for other children in the family, etc.", "As others have said, offer specifics rather than general offers to help. Food is probably the easiest and most helpful. It's going to be exhausting, with days and weeks spent in the hospital, eating junk food and takeout. Even when home, everyone is too tired to cook. Healthy, home-cooked, storable meals are incredibly useful, and can help give a small sense of normality in the shitshow that is dealing with cancer.\n\nIf they have any other kids, babysitting and picking them up from school can be super helpful. It's unfortunate, but childhood cancer means a lot of time that should be devoted to the other kids gets focused on the one who's sick. Along those same lines, visits to the hospital, playdates, and babysitting can be super useful. Obviously there are precautions due to the possibility of infection that must be taken care of, but for the kid and the parents, having something to break the monotony of sitting in a hospital room feeling sick is glorious. If your kids are friends, bring him over and have them play, whether in the hospital or at home, and let the parents get out of there, whether for a date or just a good nap. It will help everyone involved.\n\nOther than that, offering to help with household chores/maintenence can help. But healthy food and helping with kids are the most useful.", "As a radiation therapist it seems to me a lot of families still want to do things like go out for supper and to the movies like they did before without always concentrating on cancer. Sometimes they need help having that fun", "As a parent who's gone through this personally (not cancer but a condition with same prognosis), the best advice I can offer is to just do and not ask if they need (x). \n\nDinners are always good. Just show up with something, if they like it/want it—great. If not, who cares. \n\nBring them groceries, just show up with a bag of stuff. \n\nThe worst thing about going through this (for us) was dealing with everyone asking how we are doing and \"what can we do to help\". It's well intentioned, but man… Don't ask me to think about how you can help. \n\nThe times when people just showed up with something unannounced, a pie, a small gift for our daughter, or a dinner and just dropped it off. Those were the really meaningful gestures that really helped. ", "Are they going to St. Jude? \nI agree with home cooked meals. Keep in touch so they don't feel isolated.", "Along the same lines as other suggestions, don't just say \"if I can do anything to help...\"; this makes it less likely they'll reach out to you, whereas asking if they need a specific type of help will prompt them to remember your offer if they need help with that in the future. \n\nExamples: \"Do you need anyone to babysit your kids while you're at work?\" \"What meals does your family like?\" \"I'd love to help you with your yard work if you'd like. What day works for you?\" ", "All I would add is that you should find a game that your kids can play together remotely. Having \"play dates\" when he is in the hospital or immunocompromised will make a horrible thing more bearable. ", "A maid service that can clean their house/do the family laundry would be very helpful, esp. if there are other young kids in family. ", "A little girl at the school I taught at had leukemia. We signed up for dinners (had a calendar) we also did baskets for the hospital, magazines, games, snacks, crafts movies, etc.", "A friend's daughter got cancer at 3. It was incredibly difficult for them, she went through chemo for 2 years. Here are something that were done for them by us, the community, and the church:\n\n- regular meals at regular intervals. It's easy to think about them for a few weeks, but then life gets in the way and people forget about what others are going through (I was guilty of this too). Set up an account with takethemameal.com and make sure people are signing up during especially difficult times. The initial diagnosis and hospital stay, anytime they have to do a biopsy or other big medical test, anytime the child gets sick or if there are other children in the house when they get sick. Also be aware of what foods the child can't have - our friend's daughter couldn't have bagged salad or deli meat for example. \n\n- something to cheer up the family and especially the child. We got a bunch of friends together and painted a banner for when she got to come home and the kids made a bunch of cards. \n\n- fundraisers to help them financially. It doesn't matter how good your insurance is, cancer will put you in a financial hole. One friend had bracelets made and sold them, profits went to the family. They also set up a gofundme online to help. \n\n- other obligations are going to fall by the wayside. Mowing the yard, any work that needs to be done on the house, car upkeep. Get in touch with area churches in a few months to a year to see if any organize help for families in difficult situations. An area church that my friends don't even go to cleared brush, fixed their patio, and laid new tile in the kitchen for free. \n\n- their house needs to be sterile. See if they would like someone to pay for a maid to come once a month or something to help keep it up. \n\n- remember their life is turned upside down. You may get pushed to a backburner as they connect with other families with kids with cancer and they have no time to tend to all of their relationships. ", "A few things that I found helpful was mowing the lawn and doing some food shopping when I didn't have the time to. I also needed help with my pets. Feed them and let them out in the yard for a few. Having a love one battling cancer was overwhelming and worrying about my pets left home alone didn't help. My thoughts go out to your friends and their child.", "A couple of off the wall suggestions here since we dont know the kind of cancer and details regarding problems and outcome, a couple of things that might help more near the end is things that might reduce the trauma of it.\n\nIf the child suffers from a clotting disorder and frequently bleeds which can be assiciated with cancer, darker bedding helps since its easier to clean leaving less unpleasant memories and the obvious blood isnt as shocking as on light bedding upon seeing it.\n\nIf the child is in hospital and old enough to understand, explaining can go a long way. Children can sometimes sutprise you with how perceptive they are.\n\nLosing a child is a massively traumatic event, but a lot of people usually distance themselves after the funeral has taken place, leaving the couple to suddenly deal with the reality after everyone is gone. So find an excuse, any excuse really, to visit.\n\nAs much as Doctors know, unless you are a specialist in a subspeciality of a discipline it is very hard to keep abreast of the latest information in that discipline, so do research and see what you can find out and know if you know the parents are happier to know facts.\n\nAn emphatic no is preaching to them about miracle cures and magic, this can massively delay the grieving process after the child has passed away due to coming as more of a shock if they were not prepared for the reality of it.\n\nFinding a way of being in solidarity with them and the child can go a long way to showing you would be willing to help, such as signing up for the bone marrow registry or supporting or setting up a cancer drive if you have the time and motivation.\n\nSo yeah, best of luck. You are a good friend.", "/u/lowseahardware , thank you for making a post like this. Some of the tips I read brought me to tears. As Americans, we are quick to give aid to another country but we easily forget how many of our own people are sick and suffering.\n\nShout out to all the people who are taking care of a sick individual, especially if you have a child. Don't give up and have hope, which is the outlook you want your child to see, but it's okay to break down and let it all out. Sometimes that's all we need.\n\nAlso, just some things I thought of, while remembering my mom taking care of my grandmother who had breast cancer. Just think about what you do in a week and what you know they need done. Another poster said it well, don't ask, just tell what you are going to do. my mother is the last person to ever ask for help, and some people feel they are an inconvenience, when they are clearly not.", "* If they have siblings, offer to include them in activities while the parents and kids are going through treatments, etc.\n* Gas Cards - These can be invaluable for travel to treatment facilities\n* Travel Points - Many reward programs allow you to gift these perks to others for hotel stays by out of town hospitals, flights, etc." ]

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[ "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !", "What are the best ways to retain info, take notes and study? Starting uni again after like 6 years away. I want to be efficient and maximize time as with working full time and school I may not have much time 😭 I was looking up tips online but everyone seems very focused on the aesthetics of taking notes and making pretty fonts but not the core of the notes actually being good or not. Please share your best tips ,Thanks !" ]

[ "Re write the notes and explain them out loud to someone else. Or a cat/dog/ pets are great listeners and the act of explaining it. For bonus point record your explanation of your notes and listen to on your commute.", "My method was to pay very close attention in class and make meticulous notes, with attention to things the professor made a point of discussing. Before my exams, I would go back through my notes and distill them into outline form, highlighting key topics and points the professor raised.\n\nYou have to keep in mind that professors actually have limited time to discuss anything in class, and the things they talk about are the things they think are most important, and therefore the most likely things to come up on exams. If you spend 2/3 weeks in class discussing a particular subject, it'll almost always show up on a final. \n\nIgnore anything that's technically in the course materials but the professor never discusses. If it's not worth the professor's time to talk about in class, it's very unlikely to come up on an exam. Are there exceptions? Of course, but they're very rare.\n\nGood luck!\n\nETA: thank you for the award!", "Nothing beats flash cards for retention. Buy notecards and go old school. Writing the info on the cards will help you retain it. Or go digital and get an app called Anki to make your cards. It has different systems to show you how well you are retaining the info. https://apps.ankiweb.net", "Write down the topics and after class go home and look them up on YouTube.\nThat's what most professors do! \n(I'm a professor)", "Write up notes however you want; but the best way to see if you actually know the material is using it - practice exams; try all the tutorial questions; practice essays. Do a few with your notes; then if it’s a closed book exam; do them without your notes. Don’t wait til the exam itself to see if you know your stuff; check before!", "Notes are important, but I think it's more important to understand *how you learn.* Some people learn by reading - so definitely read the chapters before the lecture so you can ask questions about what you've read - others learn by drills, in which case flash cards are your friend. I have used Quizlet from time to time, and it's pretty good. It's been around for a while, so lots of people have contributed flash cards for a wide range of topics.\n\nI like to read the content, listen to lectures, and take notes to review later. But for me, being prepared for class each week and managing my time were the things that helped me most.\n\nFYI - I'm an adult learner, closer to sixty y.o. than fifty y.o. Got a Masters in 2019 (with honors) and am working on another one (far more difficult) now and have a 3.5 GPA while working full time. Best of luck to you.", "Rewriting your notes with more expansive details and summarizing your notes. Cornell notes are helpful for information retention, I just have bad memory issues and Cornell note taking is the least I can interact with and decently remember large chunks of information in school.", "Learning styles are almost as unique as fingerprints. What works for me may not work for you or anyone else. Try a bunch of different study methods and see what works for you", "I used different color folders with notebooks for each subject. Multi color highlighters with a key is good too.", "Here are some notes taking methods that may help. You can use all or some and change it to fit your needs. [note taking methods](https://open.lib.umn.edu/collegesuccess/chapter/4-4-got-notes/)", "If it's in-person instruction, sit in front, ask questions, don't stop writing, announce in the second week you'll be at *whatever space* 3/4 an hour before the first lecture of the week for a study group. If it's virtual, you're already up front - do the rest as well. Study groups are invaluable.", "I'd argue this is field related, some fields favor memorization, some favour understanding, some favour out of the box thinking.\n\nWhat are you studying?", "I find that it really depends on what you're studying. If it's something like history or psychology, something that has a lot of readings, then my favourite method is to take a section, and summarize it in a few key bulletpoints. If you already know what the professor will be teaching in class from the syllabus, then it's helpful to skim that section beforehand. Even if the first time you don't understand a term/concept, hearing it again in class will mean it's more familiar and it helps make it easier to remember the lesson. \n\nIf it's something more based in problem solving i.e. physics or math, then it's much more helpful to do practice problems: either redo the ones given in class or find questions from textbooks, tutorials, assignments, or previous exams. If I'm ever running out of time to review notes, I just focus on redoing questions. I once knew someone who didn't make any notes and just did all the example problems in the textbook. They didn't read the explanation either, they just found the pattern. Not highly recommended because you don't understand the “why” but it'll at least help you pass if you're stretched for time.\n\nOverall, my favourite method of studying, particularly before an exam, is to take all the course notes, and try and summarize everything in as few pages as possible, 1-2 pages ideally, as if you're making a cheat sheet for the exam. I like this method the most because it arranges all the different units on one page, and it makes it easier to make connections. How does unit 1 connect to unit 3? How is this formula or concept reflected in this other section? It also forces you to go through your notes and identify the core ideas each unit teaches. I find its also helpful to have a sheet of paper to skim the contents of the course. If you read the summary of unit 1, you should be able to remember the more intricate details in that unit.", "As I'm writing this , in precontext that you'll have a syllabus and schedule at hand before the session, what I did during my days at uni were \n1. Skim the topic before attending the lecture for 25 minutes like while having breakfast or commuting in public vehicle.\nTry to make gist of what you read in your mind, and then try to understand it along with your professor's lecture.\n2.as you come back to dorm/home , then skim the same topic for 25 minutes. Try to figure out what you couldn't understand the first time.\n3.if you really want to make notes, then make notes only after second read. You don't need to be asthetic but make sure if you're going to read your notes later, it shouldn't be difficult to re-read it.\n4. I used flash cards to remember my notes (my notes had serial number/date/page number) , instead of it's contents.\nEg. I used to prepare flash cards like :\nQ: *explain glycolysis* \nA: *answer is in note biochemistry,page number 25* and then try to remember the whole process, if I got confused then I'd turn to that page of that note\n\n*Instead of *\n**What is rate limiting enzyme of glycolysis?** Which is usually done in flashcards", "Many people have mentioned flash cards. One way to maximize your efficiency is to use what's called a \"Spaced Repetition System.\" (SRS) \n\nBasically, your brain will hold onto something for \"x\" amount of time, and if it isn't repeated before then it's lost in your memory. But, if you repeat it a second time the next day correctly, your brain then will hold on to it for a bit longer and for \"x\" amount of time. Each repetition that's correct will extend how long you go before forgetting it. \n\nThese systems will repeat the information more or less based on whether you answered correctly or not. It allows you to view the material as much as your brain needs to to remember without repeating a million times when you already know the content.\n\nThis doesn't work for everyone, but it is a great resource that's really helped me. Something to look into 🙂", "I like Cornell notes! Themes subjects and ideas on the left 1/3 of the page and the information, breakdowns and connections and the right.", "Flash cards or a similar system. Set aside the ones you have down and work on the ones you don’t quite have yet.\n\nAlso, know when to take a break. Sometimes you need time in between to come back to something and it makes more sense." ]

[ 17, 15, 14, 9, 7, 6, 3, 3, 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to get cheaper tickets to popular live venue events (e.g. musicals, concerts, plays, etc.) I found out last minute about a well-known show playing at a theatre near me this month and I'm dying to go. Tickets directly on the website are pretty much sold out and third party websites have tons available, but have tripled the prices for them! Any hope at getting a regular priced seat still? I've checked craigslist but those prices are inflated too, plus I'm not sure how reliable that is as a ticket buying forum. \n\nThanks!", "How to get cheaper tickets to popular live venue events (e.g. musicals, concerts, plays, etc.) I found out last minute about a well-known show playing at a theatre near me this month and I'm dying to go. Tickets directly on the website are pretty much sold out and third party websites have tons available, but have tripled the prices for them! Any hope at getting a regular priced seat still? I've checked craigslist but those prices are inflated too, plus I'm not sure how reliable that is as a ticket buying forum. \n\nThanks!", "How to get cheaper tickets to popular live venue events (e.g. musicals, concerts, plays, etc.) I found out last minute about a well-known show playing at a theatre near me this month and I'm dying to go. Tickets directly on the website are pretty much sold out and third party websites have tons available, but have tripled the prices for them! Any hope at getting a regular priced seat still? I've checked craigslist but those prices are inflated too, plus I'm not sure how reliable that is as a ticket buying forum. \n\nThanks!" ]

[ "15 minutes after the event starts, begin looking for a scalper near the venue. They'll be looking to minimize their losses after the show starts.", "buy a high vis and hard hat, carry a pelicase walk like your pissed off and haven't slept and if anybody tries to stop you just keep moving and use the exact words \"sorry i need to get the drive to front of house, I'll deal with accr", "If you have a Platinum AmEx card, you can try calling their [concierge service](https://www.americanexpress.com/us/cr" ]

[ 5, 3, 2 ]

[ "Self-image + requesting tips Hi guys,\nI’m 18, I’m currently studying business right now. My uni life isn’t going so good, I have trouble with procrastination and I’m always scrambling to meet deadlines. As I’m going into my second year, I’m going to try my very best to study hard and do the most on my part. \n\nI’m also interning at an NGO at the moment. Through volunteering and interning, I’ve discovered that I’m passionate to work in an NGO, I really just want to be in the frontlines and help as much as I can. So career wise, that’s the stuff I have to figure out. I’m not stressing much bout it, except for the money part, and helping my family as well, cuz that’s definitely what’s expected of me. \n\nI am a huge introvert, I prefer my own company, and I’ve gotten used to being on my own. I don’t have problems with being an introvert but I have a problem with where it stems from. I am overly conscious of my looks, I don’t think I like myself and that makes me really uncomfortable, especially with meeting new people, I can’t even eat in front of people without feeling awkward or weird, and that makes me more likely to make mistakes, or say some stuff that I actually wouldn’t even say. \nI’m not bad socially, and I know that. This introvert thing is an on and off for me. I am doing pretty well in terms of social skills, it isn’t that hard for me to talk to new people now as it was like a year ago, so I get that it’s all about small steps, and honestly I’m fine with that. However, the problem with my looks always throw me off. You can imagine how glad I am since masks became mandatory and I’m so comfortable with them that I hardly take them off. It’s so bad that people have pointed it out. \n\nI’m not a quiet person, I’m super energetic, super fun and fucking amazing. I hate it so much when I’m unable to express that. I just wish I was more comfortable in my skin. I’m getting so tired of this..", "Self-image + requesting tips Hi guys,\nI’m 18, I’m currently studying business right now. My uni life isn’t going so good, I have trouble with procrastination and I’m always scrambling to meet deadlines. As I’m going into my second year, I’m going to try my very best to study hard and do the most on my part. \n\nI’m also interning at an NGO at the moment. Through volunteering and interning, I’ve discovered that I’m passionate to work in an NGO, I really just want to be in the frontlines and help as much as I can. So career wise, that’s the stuff I have to figure out. I’m not stressing much bout it, except for the money part, and helping my family as well, cuz that’s definitely what’s expected of me. \n\nI am a huge introvert, I prefer my own company, and I’ve gotten used to being on my own. I don’t have problems with being an introvert but I have a problem with where it stems from. I am overly conscious of my looks, I don’t think I like myself and that makes me really uncomfortable, especially with meeting new people, I can’t even eat in front of people without feeling awkward or weird, and that makes me more likely to make mistakes, or say some stuff that I actually wouldn’t even say. \nI’m not bad socially, and I know that. This introvert thing is an on and off for me. I am doing pretty well in terms of social skills, it isn’t that hard for me to talk to new people now as it was like a year ago, so I get that it’s all about small steps, and honestly I’m fine with that. However, the problem with my looks always throw me off. You can imagine how glad I am since masks became mandatory and I’m so comfortable with them that I hardly take them off. It’s so bad that people have pointed it out. \n\nI’m not a quiet person, I’m super energetic, super fun and fucking amazing. I hate it so much when I’m unable to express that. I just wish I was more comfortable in my skin. I’m getting so tired of this..", "Self-image + requesting tips Hi guys,\nI’m 18, I’m currently studying business right now. My uni life isn’t going so good, I have trouble with procrastination and I’m always scrambling to meet deadlines. As I’m going into my second year, I’m going to try my very best to study hard and do the most on my part. \n\nI’m also interning at an NGO at the moment. Through volunteering and interning, I’ve discovered that I’m passionate to work in an NGO, I really just want to be in the frontlines and help as much as I can. So career wise, that’s the stuff I have to figure out. I’m not stressing much bout it, except for the money part, and helping my family as well, cuz that’s definitely what’s expected of me. \n\nI am a huge introvert, I prefer my own company, and I’ve gotten used to being on my own. I don’t have problems with being an introvert but I have a problem with where it stems from. I am overly conscious of my looks, I don’t think I like myself and that makes me really uncomfortable, especially with meeting new people, I can’t even eat in front of people without feeling awkward or weird, and that makes me more likely to make mistakes, or say some stuff that I actually wouldn’t even say. \nI’m not bad socially, and I know that. This introvert thing is an on and off for me. I am doing pretty well in terms of social skills, it isn’t that hard for me to talk to new people now as it was like a year ago, so I get that it’s all about small steps, and honestly I’m fine with that. However, the problem with my looks always throw me off. You can imagine how glad I am since masks became mandatory and I’m so comfortable with them that I hardly take them off. It’s so bad that people have pointed it out. \n\nI’m not a quiet person, I’m super energetic, super fun and fucking amazing. I hate it so much when I’m unable to express that. I just wish I was more comfortable in my skin. I’m getting so tired of this.." ]

[ "Have you ever been evaluated for attention deficit disorder?\n\nI have ADD inattentive type and some things you've said kinda remind me of myself, particularly the procrastination and social awkwardness.\n\nDon't be afraid of counseling and, if necessary, medication. Concerta ER (methylphenidate extended-release) works wonders for me, personally. \n\nKeep trying to grow past your comfort level little by little. Keeping an agenda/calendar and making lists are super helpful. For projects/assignments I would suggest scheduling time for and committing to work on the project a certain amount of time every day. YMMV but the main thing is finding a system that works for your life and working on the discipline to stick to it.\n\nBest of luck to you!", "Sounds like some social anxiety. A brief stint in counseling might help, especially while focusing on CBT/cognitive distortions, Socratic questioning, and reframing skills. Hell, you seem like a smart kid, google each of those and you might find some helpful stuff. I particularly like therapistaid.com for some of the worksheets I like to assign to my clients. One major caveat is that bias can be a real bitch, and so trying just therapy yourself with these may not be as effective as you’d like. A counselor willing to challenge some of your thinking would be good in your case. \n\nRegarding your looks, is there any aspect that you have have some sort of control of, if so, what are doing about it? If the answer is yes, then no, my question is why not? What’s the obstacle? Time, money, motivation, lack of resources, lack of awareness… \n\nP.s. the fact that you consider yourself to be amazing is pretty awesome in itself. How do you feel when others say that to you?", "Help tutoring people.\n\nJoin some clubs\n\nLearn an instrument, get someone to teach you.\n\nHave a study group, either start one or join one.\n\nSet a schedule for homework and studying. Can be 20 minutes, more or whatever, take a break, can even be an hour or longer break, and then get back to your homework or studying, etc." ]

[ 4, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to prevent myself from being unrelaxed and tense most of the time? I need to progress, and this is in my way. I'm not sure where to start with describing this 'condition' I have. I'm a stable individual, would say that I almost never do anything impulsive, but I feel like the price I have to pay for it is more than enormous. My body and mind are never relaxed. I'm not anxious, I don't feel 101 anxiety, I just feel like i can't let myself relax and fully enjoy things. I usually don't let myself get too sad or too happy. The only time I feel like losing that control is when other people potentially trigger that, like partners or family, because at that point - I lose my posture and I have no control, and even then, I feel like I didn't fully show how i feel. I think that my mind and body are scared of not being in control, so they created series of defence mechanisms in order to prevent my emotions from reaching the full effect and potential. That affects everything I do - I can't always sing like i want to, I can't draw without my hand being fully relaxed, you can see the tension in my handwritting. I can't dance properly, my body makes robotic moves. Also, I don't enjoy getting a massage, it hurts my body, cause it's not relaxed. I want to reach my full potential and I want to stop my subconsciousness from sabotaging me. I always think about things and trying to see the potential patterns in anything in order not to make a mistake. Does anyone feel the same? Has anyone overcame this and how? I know Yoga would probably be one of the keys, but I'm not in the city where I can do it, so it's off the table for now. Thank you for listening and answering in advance.", "How to prevent myself from being unrelaxed and tense most of the time? I need to progress, and this is in my way. I'm not sure where to start with describing this 'condition' I have. I'm a stable individual, would say that I almost never do anything impulsive, but I feel like the price I have to pay for it is more than enormous. My body and mind are never relaxed. I'm not anxious, I don't feel 101 anxiety, I just feel like i can't let myself relax and fully enjoy things. I usually don't let myself get too sad or too happy. The only time I feel like losing that control is when other people potentially trigger that, like partners or family, because at that point - I lose my posture and I have no control, and even then, I feel like I didn't fully show how i feel. I think that my mind and body are scared of not being in control, so they created series of defence mechanisms in order to prevent my emotions from reaching the full effect and potential. That affects everything I do - I can't always sing like i want to, I can't draw without my hand being fully relaxed, you can see the tension in my handwritting. I can't dance properly, my body makes robotic moves. Also, I don't enjoy getting a massage, it hurts my body, cause it's not relaxed. I want to reach my full potential and I want to stop my subconsciousness from sabotaging me. I always think about things and trying to see the potential patterns in anything in order not to make a mistake. Does anyone feel the same? Has anyone overcame this and how? I know Yoga would probably be one of the keys, but I'm not in the city where I can do it, so it's off the table for now. Thank you for listening and answering in advance.", "How to prevent myself from being unrelaxed and tense most of the time? I need to progress, and this is in my way. I'm not sure where to start with describing this 'condition' I have. I'm a stable individual, would say that I almost never do anything impulsive, but I feel like the price I have to pay for it is more than enormous. My body and mind are never relaxed. I'm not anxious, I don't feel 101 anxiety, I just feel like i can't let myself relax and fully enjoy things. I usually don't let myself get too sad or too happy. The only time I feel like losing that control is when other people potentially trigger that, like partners or family, because at that point - I lose my posture and I have no control, and even then, I feel like I didn't fully show how i feel. I think that my mind and body are scared of not being in control, so they created series of defence mechanisms in order to prevent my emotions from reaching the full effect and potential. That affects everything I do - I can't always sing like i want to, I can't draw without my hand being fully relaxed, you can see the tension in my handwritting. I can't dance properly, my body makes robotic moves. Also, I don't enjoy getting a massage, it hurts my body, cause it's not relaxed. I want to reach my full potential and I want to stop my subconsciousness from sabotaging me. I always think about things and trying to see the potential patterns in anything in order not to make a mistake. Does anyone feel the same? Has anyone overcame this and how? I know Yoga would probably be one of the keys, but I'm not in the city where I can do it, so it's off the table for now. Thank you for listening and answering in advance.", "How to prevent myself from being unrelaxed and tense most of the time? I need to progress, and this is in my way. I'm not sure where to start with describing this 'condition' I have. I'm a stable individual, would say that I almost never do anything impulsive, but I feel like the price I have to pay for it is more than enormous. My body and mind are never relaxed. I'm not anxious, I don't feel 101 anxiety, I just feel like i can't let myself relax and fully enjoy things. I usually don't let myself get too sad or too happy. The only time I feel like losing that control is when other people potentially trigger that, like partners or family, because at that point - I lose my posture and I have no control, and even then, I feel like I didn't fully show how i feel. I think that my mind and body are scared of not being in control, so they created series of defence mechanisms in order to prevent my emotions from reaching the full effect and potential. That affects everything I do - I can't always sing like i want to, I can't draw without my hand being fully relaxed, you can see the tension in my handwritting. I can't dance properly, my body makes robotic moves. Also, I don't enjoy getting a massage, it hurts my body, cause it's not relaxed. I want to reach my full potential and I want to stop my subconsciousness from sabotaging me. I always think about things and trying to see the potential patterns in anything in order not to make a mistake. Does anyone feel the same? Has anyone overcame this and how? I know Yoga would probably be one of the keys, but I'm not in the city where I can do it, so it's off the table for now. Thank you for listening and answering in advance.", "How to prevent myself from being unrelaxed and tense most of the time? I need to progress, and this is in my way. I'm not sure where to start with describing this 'condition' I have. I'm a stable individual, would say that I almost never do anything impulsive, but I feel like the price I have to pay for it is more than enormous. My body and mind are never relaxed. I'm not anxious, I don't feel 101 anxiety, I just feel like i can't let myself relax and fully enjoy things. I usually don't let myself get too sad or too happy. The only time I feel like losing that control is when other people potentially trigger that, like partners or family, because at that point - I lose my posture and I have no control, and even then, I feel like I didn't fully show how i feel. I think that my mind and body are scared of not being in control, so they created series of defence mechanisms in order to prevent my emotions from reaching the full effect and potential. That affects everything I do - I can't always sing like i want to, I can't draw without my hand being fully relaxed, you can see the tension in my handwritting. I can't dance properly, my body makes robotic moves. Also, I don't enjoy getting a massage, it hurts my body, cause it's not relaxed. I want to reach my full potential and I want to stop my subconsciousness from sabotaging me. I always think about things and trying to see the potential patterns in anything in order not to make a mistake. Does anyone feel the same? Has anyone overcame this and how? I know Yoga would probably be one of the keys, but I'm not in the city where I can do it, so it's off the table for now. Thank you for listening and answering in advance.", "How to prevent myself from being unrelaxed and tense most of the time? I need to progress, and this is in my way. I'm not sure where to start with describing this 'condition' I have. I'm a stable individual, would say that I almost never do anything impulsive, but I feel like the price I have to pay for it is more than enormous. My body and mind are never relaxed. I'm not anxious, I don't feel 101 anxiety, I just feel like i can't let myself relax and fully enjoy things. I usually don't let myself get too sad or too happy. The only time I feel like losing that control is when other people potentially trigger that, like partners or family, because at that point - I lose my posture and I have no control, and even then, I feel like I didn't fully show how i feel. I think that my mind and body are scared of not being in control, so they created series of defence mechanisms in order to prevent my emotions from reaching the full effect and potential. That affects everything I do - I can't always sing like i want to, I can't draw without my hand being fully relaxed, you can see the tension in my handwritting. I can't dance properly, my body makes robotic moves. Also, I don't enjoy getting a massage, it hurts my body, cause it's not relaxed. I want to reach my full potential and I want to stop my subconsciousness from sabotaging me. I always think about things and trying to see the potential patterns in anything in order not to make a mistake. Does anyone feel the same? Has anyone overcame this and how? I know Yoga would probably be one of the keys, but I'm not in the city where I can do it, so it's off the table for now. Thank you for listening and answering in advance.", "How to prevent myself from being unrelaxed and tense most of the time? I need to progress, and this is in my way. I'm not sure where to start with describing this 'condition' I have. I'm a stable individual, would say that I almost never do anything impulsive, but I feel like the price I have to pay for it is more than enormous. My body and mind are never relaxed. I'm not anxious, I don't feel 101 anxiety, I just feel like i can't let myself relax and fully enjoy things. I usually don't let myself get too sad or too happy. The only time I feel like losing that control is when other people potentially trigger that, like partners or family, because at that point - I lose my posture and I have no control, and even then, I feel like I didn't fully show how i feel. I think that my mind and body are scared of not being in control, so they created series of defence mechanisms in order to prevent my emotions from reaching the full effect and potential. That affects everything I do - I can't always sing like i want to, I can't draw without my hand being fully relaxed, you can see the tension in my handwritting. I can't dance properly, my body makes robotic moves. Also, I don't enjoy getting a massage, it hurts my body, cause it's not relaxed. I want to reach my full potential and I want to stop my subconsciousness from sabotaging me. I always think about things and trying to see the potential patterns in anything in order not to make a mistake. Does anyone feel the same? Has anyone overcame this and how? I know Yoga would probably be one of the keys, but I'm not in the city where I can do it, so it's off the table for now. Thank you for listening and answering in advance.", "How to prevent myself from being unrelaxed and tense most of the time? I need to progress, and this is in my way. I'm not sure where to start with describing this 'condition' I have. I'm a stable individual, would say that I almost never do anything impulsive, but I feel like the price I have to pay for it is more than enormous. My body and mind are never relaxed. I'm not anxious, I don't feel 101 anxiety, I just feel like i can't let myself relax and fully enjoy things. I usually don't let myself get too sad or too happy. The only time I feel like losing that control is when other people potentially trigger that, like partners or family, because at that point - I lose my posture and I have no control, and even then, I feel like I didn't fully show how i feel. I think that my mind and body are scared of not being in control, so they created series of defence mechanisms in order to prevent my emotions from reaching the full effect and potential. That affects everything I do - I can't always sing like i want to, I can't draw without my hand being fully relaxed, you can see the tension in my handwritting. I can't dance properly, my body makes robotic moves. Also, I don't enjoy getting a massage, it hurts my body, cause it's not relaxed. I want to reach my full potential and I want to stop my subconsciousness from sabotaging me. I always think about things and trying to see the potential patterns in anything in order not to make a mistake. Does anyone feel the same? Has anyone overcame this and how? I know Yoga would probably be one of the keys, but I'm not in the city where I can do it, so it's off the table for now. Thank you for listening and answering in advance.", "How to prevent myself from being unrelaxed and tense most of the time? I need to progress, and this is in my way. I'm not sure where to start with describing this 'condition' I have. I'm a stable individual, would say that I almost never do anything impulsive, but I feel like the price I have to pay for it is more than enormous. My body and mind are never relaxed. I'm not anxious, I don't feel 101 anxiety, I just feel like i can't let myself relax and fully enjoy things. I usually don't let myself get too sad or too happy. The only time I feel like losing that control is when other people potentially trigger that, like partners or family, because at that point - I lose my posture and I have no control, and even then, I feel like I didn't fully show how i feel. I think that my mind and body are scared of not being in control, so they created series of defence mechanisms in order to prevent my emotions from reaching the full effect and potential. That affects everything I do - I can't always sing like i want to, I can't draw without my hand being fully relaxed, you can see the tension in my handwritting. I can't dance properly, my body makes robotic moves. Also, I don't enjoy getting a massage, it hurts my body, cause it's not relaxed. I want to reach my full potential and I want to stop my subconsciousness from sabotaging me. I always think about things and trying to see the potential patterns in anything in order not to make a mistake. Does anyone feel the same? Has anyone overcame this and how? I know Yoga would probably be one of the keys, but I'm not in the city where I can do it, so it's off the table for now. Thank you for listening and answering in advance.", "How to prevent myself from being unrelaxed and tense most of the time? I need to progress, and this is in my way. I'm not sure where to start with describing this 'condition' I have. I'm a stable individual, would say that I almost never do anything impulsive, but I feel like the price I have to pay for it is more than enormous. My body and mind are never relaxed. I'm not anxious, I don't feel 101 anxiety, I just feel like i can't let myself relax and fully enjoy things. I usually don't let myself get too sad or too happy. The only time I feel like losing that control is when other people potentially trigger that, like partners or family, because at that point - I lose my posture and I have no control, and even then, I feel like I didn't fully show how i feel. I think that my mind and body are scared of not being in control, so they created series of defence mechanisms in order to prevent my emotions from reaching the full effect and potential. That affects everything I do - I can't always sing like i want to, I can't draw without my hand being fully relaxed, you can see the tension in my handwritting. I can't dance properly, my body makes robotic moves. Also, I don't enjoy getting a massage, it hurts my body, cause it's not relaxed. I want to reach my full potential and I want to stop my subconsciousness from sabotaging me. I always think about things and trying to see the potential patterns in anything in order not to make a mistake. Does anyone feel the same? Has anyone overcame this and how? I know Yoga would probably be one of the keys, but I'm not in the city where I can do it, so it's off the table for now. Thank you for listening and answering in advance.", "How to prevent myself from being unrelaxed and tense most of the time? I need to progress, and this is in my way. I'm not sure where to start with describing this 'condition' I have. I'm a stable individual, would say that I almost never do anything impulsive, but I feel like the price I have to pay for it is more than enormous. My body and mind are never relaxed. I'm not anxious, I don't feel 101 anxiety, I just feel like i can't let myself relax and fully enjoy things. I usually don't let myself get too sad or too happy. The only time I feel like losing that control is when other people potentially trigger that, like partners or family, because at that point - I lose my posture and I have no control, and even then, I feel like I didn't fully show how i feel. I think that my mind and body are scared of not being in control, so they created series of defence mechanisms in order to prevent my emotions from reaching the full effect and potential. That affects everything I do - I can't always sing like i want to, I can't draw without my hand being fully relaxed, you can see the tension in my handwritting. I can't dance properly, my body makes robotic moves. Also, I don't enjoy getting a massage, it hurts my body, cause it's not relaxed. I want to reach my full potential and I want to stop my subconsciousness from sabotaging me. I always think about things and trying to see the potential patterns in anything in order not to make a mistake. Does anyone feel the same? Has anyone overcame this and how? I know Yoga would probably be one of the keys, but I'm not in the city where I can do it, so it's off the table for now. Thank you for listening and answering in advance.", "How to prevent myself from being unrelaxed and tense most of the time? I need to progress, and this is in my way. I'm not sure where to start with describing this 'condition' I have. I'm a stable individual, would say that I almost never do anything impulsive, but I feel like the price I have to pay for it is more than enormous. My body and mind are never relaxed. I'm not anxious, I don't feel 101 anxiety, I just feel like i can't let myself relax and fully enjoy things. I usually don't let myself get too sad or too happy. The only time I feel like losing that control is when other people potentially trigger that, like partners or family, because at that point - I lose my posture and I have no control, and even then, I feel like I didn't fully show how i feel. I think that my mind and body are scared of not being in control, so they created series of defence mechanisms in order to prevent my emotions from reaching the full effect and potential. That affects everything I do - I can't always sing like i want to, I can't draw without my hand being fully relaxed, you can see the tension in my handwritting. I can't dance properly, my body makes robotic moves. Also, I don't enjoy getting a massage, it hurts my body, cause it's not relaxed. I want to reach my full potential and I want to stop my subconsciousness from sabotaging me. I always think about things and trying to see the potential patterns in anything in order not to make a mistake. Does anyone feel the same? Has anyone overcame this and how? I know Yoga would probably be one of the keys, but I'm not in the city where I can do it, so it's off the table for now. Thank you for listening and answering in advance.", "How to prevent myself from being unrelaxed and tense most of the time? I need to progress, and this is in my way. I'm not sure where to start with describing this 'condition' I have. I'm a stable individual, would say that I almost never do anything impulsive, but I feel like the price I have to pay for it is more than enormous. My body and mind are never relaxed. I'm not anxious, I don't feel 101 anxiety, I just feel like i can't let myself relax and fully enjoy things. I usually don't let myself get too sad or too happy. The only time I feel like losing that control is when other people potentially trigger that, like partners or family, because at that point - I lose my posture and I have no control, and even then, I feel like I didn't fully show how i feel. I think that my mind and body are scared of not being in control, so they created series of defence mechanisms in order to prevent my emotions from reaching the full effect and potential. That affects everything I do - I can't always sing like i want to, I can't draw without my hand being fully relaxed, you can see the tension in my handwritting. I can't dance properly, my body makes robotic moves. Also, I don't enjoy getting a massage, it hurts my body, cause it's not relaxed. I want to reach my full potential and I want to stop my subconsciousness from sabotaging me. I always think about things and trying to see the potential patterns in anything in order not to make a mistake. Does anyone feel the same? Has anyone overcame this and how? I know Yoga would probably be one of the keys, but I'm not in the city where I can do it, so it's off the table for now. Thank you for listening and answering in advance." ]

[ "Get comfy with failure and uncertainty. I struggle with this episodically, and I know it’s a horrible prison. For me, the first taste of beating it was with talking to women. I would sweat, shake, and go into full on panic if they approached me (even just in a friendly way). When I decided it needed to change, I did two things: \n\n1.) Fake it until you make it: I’d watch people who were comfortable and mirror their body language. It felt unnatural at first, but you’d be surprised how the body leads the mind. \n\n2.) I’d practice failing in low-risk situations. For me, it was during interactions with gas station employees, waiters, and the like. I’d have more fun with it, knowing it’d last a short time. It built up confidence because I realized there were no fatal mistakes I could make, so long as I wasn’t being a dick (I wasn’t). \n\nSoon enough I started to like the idea of risk, and of course, reward. It felt less fatal, because it was never really fatal. My mind and body were just trapped thinking it was. \n\nFor you, it’ll probably manifest differently. The lesson remains the same though, mirror people who are at ease, and find low-risk opportunities to fail/succeed/learn, which will let you get comfortable with the idea of rolling the dice and appreciating any of those three outcomes. \n\nAlso breath work. You’re aware you’re tense, that’s a huge first step. Now, when you are, take an exceptionally deep breath, blow it out, shake your fingers, and remember that it ain’t all that serious, and being in control ain’t all that fun.", "I struggle to physically relax my body- hold a lot of stress in my back and shoulders. If I don’t consciously try relaxing, my back starts hurting bad. \n\nI got a few routines. Guided m", "You could try a lot of natural and self made remedies which will help. But also, everyone should go to therapy, even if they feel “normal”. Talking to the RIGHT therapist—who you enjoy talking with—can help immensely and they can work to identify your behaviors and reactions and find methods to make you feel less on edge!", "Another tidbit that helps me (can’t remember where I saw it) when I get too rigid and take it all too seriously: \n\nTry to view your life as a comedy, instead of a drama. \n\nAs you view your actions from outside yourself, in this way, the narrative shifts and it all feels more fun and less grim/dark. In fact, when I do it, I gain perspective and end up smiling at how dark and dreary and serious I thought it all was.", "You could try going to therapy for this. Therapy isn’t just for people with conditions. And talk therapy can be really beneficial to some people. You don’t have to be unstable to be able to benefit from therapy at all. Don’t feel like you have to do this alone. You could see if your employer offered an EAP (employee assistance program) and see if that is partnered with something like the village. \n\nYoga is definitely something you can do alone at home with no training or classes. YouTube, Fitness +, Amazon Prime etc all have yoga and other fitness classes on there.\n\nDon’t be afraid to try a more active class on there either. For some people kick boxing or something similar can be really beneficial.\n\nOutdoor time if feasible where you live (it’s not where I am right now -16 with a -27 feel doesn’t make that a feasible effort to brave the cold) try going for a daily walk etc", "Maybe not be the greatest advice but for me. It's realizing that other people are really are just like me. When I'm giving someone a massage I want them to feel good. So I try to turn it around. When I'm receiving a massage. They want me to feel good and that helps me relax and accept the fact that they're doing something that they want to do and I want to do. A big part of it is just understanding that consent is such a two-way street. There are people out there that want to make others feel good just like I do. I'm an anxiety written person by nature and I'm worrying this may not be the best of help. But sounds like you're an anxiety written person too and maybe I'm saying the thing that you actually want to hear.\n\n", "Yoga does not require a class to learn. You can learn it from a book, a website, and probably an app of some sort. It's a solo practice for most people who do it anyway. The point of Yoga is to pay attention to points of your body you would otherwise ignore. Simply sitting on the floor with your legs straight out and touching your toes is a good way to start. Focus on what stretches, and try to get those parts to mellow out. \n\nHere's a tip for m", "If you feel like yoga could be a key, order a mat and do it at home (Yoga with Adriene youtube has some nice video)\nAlso yoga isnt about getting it perfect, it's about feeling good, so dont feel scared to start without a teacher.\n\nIf your body is tense, and osteopath saved me from lots of pain I couldn't reduce by myself anymore\n\n\nAs for the mind, m", "You can do yoga anywhere. There are videos all over the internet to help.\nM", "Try cutting out ALL caffeine for at least two weeks. Tea, coffee, lots of sodas (even orange soda), some sport drinks, Bai flavored water, etc all have caffeine in them. \n\nIn some people, caffeine builds up because it’s not metabolized as quickly. This might be you. \n\nExpect headaches for about a week if you have been having coffee every day for a while.", "No advice, but I do understand how you feel. People describe me as a very patient person because I don't tend to get upset about things easily, but they also don't understand that I don't tend to enjoy things easily either. It feels like an emotional resistor. I can't \"let go\" ever. It's not a feeling of \"oh, i just need to losen up a bit,\" it seriously feels like that ability isnt even programmed. I've imagined that the only way I could is if I were inibriated, but even then I just get sleepy and go to bed, lol. It feels like rope that's in a tight chain of knots.", "Hey there.\n\nI don't know any of your background, but this could be a symptom of unresolved trauma in your past. Our bodies often give us signs of problems even if we don't recognize or ignore them with our minds.\n\nPerhaps you might consider working with a therapist to see if it helps?\n\nI suggest reading/listening to The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel A. van der Kolk for more information.", "Get yourself an object made from the hard rubber and squeeze it as hard as you can\n\nWhen you reach state where you can’t squeeze harder, pause, and and experiencing resistance, let double mega ion of the force neutralize\n\nOh I meant double negation not mega ion \n\nBut maybe autocomplete helps us to get this high energy plasma requires a lot of neutrino\n\nRepeat 6-7 times a day and study physics \n\nMay the force be with you \n\nSoup also helps, make sure it’s hot \n\nThermal regulation makes magic \n\nMaybe sauna, swimming \n\nYou’ll get through it and I will be better\n\nCheck stomach health, gallbladder problem I lens can be causing this\n\nResearch hormone cortisol and about its counterpart — oxytocin\n\nKnow your limits" ]

[ 25, 10, 7, 7, 6, 6, 5, 5, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3 ]

[ "How to Avoid Blurry Photos Hello you guys.\n\nI was just looking through the images from my last birthday party and there are only maybe 2 pictures that aren't too blurry to be used.\n\nThis is a recurring problem with me, and I always am as steady as humanly possible with my hand while taking the picture and gently pushing the capture button (Just so you don't suggest this as a solution).\n\nI own a Panasonic DMC-FX80 camera, and the online reviews said it should be a great choice for a beginner. I am not doing anything fancy, I just want to take pictures of my family, and I am hoping to get some non-blurry christmas photos this year.\n\nI hope you can help me! Either way thank you very much.", "How to Avoid Blurry Photos Hello you guys.\n\nI was just looking through the images from my last birthday party and there are only maybe 2 pictures that aren't too blurry to be used.\n\nThis is a recurring problem with me, and I always am as steady as humanly possible with my hand while taking the picture and gently pushing the capture button (Just so you don't suggest this as a solution).\n\nI own a Panasonic DMC-FX80 camera, and the online reviews said it should be a great choice for a beginner. I am not doing anything fancy, I just want to take pictures of my family, and I am hoping to get some non-blurry christmas photos this year.\n\nI hope you can help me! Either way thank you very much.", "How to Avoid Blurry Photos Hello you guys.\n\nI was just looking through the images from my last birthday party and there are only maybe 2 pictures that aren't too blurry to be used.\n\nThis is a recurring problem with me, and I always am as steady as humanly possible with my hand while taking the picture and gently pushing the capture button (Just so you don't suggest this as a solution).\n\nI own a Panasonic DMC-FX80 camera, and the online reviews said it should be a great choice for a beginner. I am not doing anything fancy, I just want to take pictures of my family, and I am hoping to get some non-blurry christmas photos this year.\n\nI hope you can help me! Either way thank you very much.", "How to Avoid Blurry Photos Hello you guys.\n\nI was just looking through the images from my last birthday party and there are only maybe 2 pictures that aren't too blurry to be used.\n\nThis is a recurring problem with me, and I always am as steady as humanly possible with my hand while taking the picture and gently pushing the capture button (Just so you don't suggest this as a solution).\n\nI own a Panasonic DMC-FX80 camera, and the online reviews said it should be a great choice for a beginner. I am not doing anything fancy, I just want to take pictures of my family, and I am hoping to get some non-blurry christmas photos this year.\n\nI hope you can help me! Either way thank you very much." ]

[ "With darker settings, the auto-mode will have the shutter open longer allowing more light to hit the sensor. What this means is that any small movement will be noticeable. Even people moving around will be noticeable.\n\nIt's difficult to get pictures of say.. Christmas lights while holding a camera. If you're holding it, it has to be a short shutter but then the picture will be really dark. You could turn on the flash but then everything will be blown out and won't look as good as you may like it, especially with outdoor shots of Christmas lights.\n\nWhat I would recommend is grabbing a cheap tripod to put your camera on. Put the camera on the timer and then take the picture. It will have to wait a few moments to take the picture but even the quick movement of bringing your finger off the button could cause your picture to be blurry.\n\nHopefully you can get this figured out. Merry Christmas.", "I don't know if your camera has anti-shake technology or not. I once read a review about cameras with and without anti shake technology. what they did was they took 20 pictures without the anti shakin 20 pictures with the and I shake. something like 7 out of the 20 without the shake technology turned out well and something like 13 out of the 20 with the anti shake turned out well. the lesson I learned from this was: take 20 pictures. seriously. randomness will dictate on some of them your hands will shake and some of them will have less shake.", "Taking a picture in low light requires the camera's shutter to be open longer. Having the shutter open longer allows more movement to be caught in the camera's exposure resulting in blurry movement in a photo.\n\nIf you're taking pictures without flash in an indoor enviornment, having blurry pictures is a given. Point-and-shoot cameras aren't really made for low-light photography. The suggestions to use a tripod would help, but if your subjects are moving, they'll always end up blurry.\n\nHere's a couple of extra pointers:\n\n1) If you don't mind it, use the flash. It should compensate for the low light in the room.\n\n2) If you don't want to use flash, go into your camera settings and adjust the camera's ISO (the \"film's\" sensitivity to light). Having a higher ISO will allow more light to be captured in the photo, at a risk of losing overall image clarity (it'll be a bit more grainy).\n\n3) Look up some basic camera techniques regarding shutter speed and f-stop. Some point-and-shoots may allow for some tweaking of those basic settings, but usually they just assume you're wanting to use the Auto mode.\n\nIn the end, Auto will try to do its best to compensate for whatever environment you're trying to take pictures of. But it's not perfect.", "Set the timer to 2 seconds so that you can keep steady hand on the camera once it actually fires. Works wonder for me. " ]

[ 4, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "Sink Motion Sensors Hello! I have never posted here, but I was hoping someone could help me out. \n\nI feel like I way too much trouble trying to get sinks that are triggered by motion sensors to work. Does anyone have any tips on how to get these things going? I usually wave my hands about under the faucet hoping that some motion will trigger the sink to turn on. \n\nAnyone have any trick that works for them or inside information about how they work?", "Sink Motion Sensors Hello! I have never posted here, but I was hoping someone could help me out. \n\nI feel like I way too much trouble trying to get sinks that are triggered by motion sensors to work. Does anyone have any tips on how to get these things going? I usually wave my hands about under the faucet hoping that some motion will trigger the sink to turn on. \n\nAnyone have any trick that works for them or inside information about how they work?" ]

[ "I usually just wave my hands frantically, stomp my feet and walk away. As soon as I walk away, the faucet will turn on.", "Find the sensor and put your hand directly in front of it. If it turns off too quickly, wet a paper towel and stick it over it." ]

[ 3, 3 ]

[ "Daily Stretches Can someone link or describe a list of daily stretches? Include time of day or if this does not matter please say so. \n \nI walk my dog 2 times and I feel healthy, however I know as I get older these things will catch up with you, like unhealthy diet or minimal exercise. I figure some type of daily stretch can help with this. Any other daily advice is appreciated!", "Daily Stretches Can someone link or describe a list of daily stretches? Include time of day or if this does not matter please say so. \n \nI walk my dog 2 times and I feel healthy, however I know as I get older these things will catch up with you, like unhealthy diet or minimal exercise. I figure some type of daily stretch can help with this. Any other daily advice is appreciated!", "Daily Stretches Can someone link or describe a list of daily stretches? Include time of day or if this does not matter please say so. \n \nI walk my dog 2 times and I feel healthy, however I know as I get older these things will catch up with you, like unhealthy diet or minimal exercise. I figure some type of daily stretch can help with this. Any other daily advice is appreciated!", "Daily Stretches Can someone link or describe a list of daily stretches? Include time of day or if this does not matter please say so. \n \nI walk my dog 2 times and I feel healthy, however I know as I get older these things will catch up with you, like unhealthy diet or minimal exercise. I figure some type of daily stretch can help with this. Any other daily advice is appreciated!", "Daily Stretches Can someone link or describe a list of daily stretches? Include time of day or if this does not matter please say so. \n \nI walk my dog 2 times and I feel healthy, however I know as I get older these things will catch up with you, like unhealthy diet or minimal exercise. I figure some type of daily stretch can help with this. Any other daily advice is appreciated!", "Daily Stretches Can someone link or describe a list of daily stretches? Include time of day or if this does not matter please say so. \n \nI walk my dog 2 times and I feel healthy, however I know as I get older these things will catch up with you, like unhealthy diet or minimal exercise. I figure some type of daily stretch can help with this. Any other daily advice is appreciated!" ]

[ "Try the Limber Eleven. \n\nhttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FSSDLDhbacc\n\nOnce you know them, you won't need the video anymore. \n\nYou can also learn the Salute to the Sun, which is a very popular and relatively easy yoga routine. I won't link anything, but you can find a tutorial easily. ", "look up some basic beginner level yoga poses; or take a few beginner classes and pick out your favorite stretches you do in class.", "https://youtu.be/8DxG4B3njGw \nTry if it is useful to you or not decide yourself. Be careful some exercises practices with trainer.", "Ok I will give you the best and the only source you will ever need to get your stretching shit in order. I train regularly and hard and I always w\n\n**Steve Maxwell's Encyclopedia of Joint Mobility.** It is literally in total 3 hours of stretching. Granted you wont need to do it all in one sitting but you have so many stretches in these videos that you never need to look else where. i.e. He has 20 minutes worth of neck stretches! Each video series (neck, shoulder, back, legs, etc) starts easy and gets progressivly challenging so you can stop at say 10 minutes of each video and slowly build yourself up to do the more complex movement. Which is the key reason why this series is nessessary. It gives you easy to difficult stretches to work your way up to. Doing one of the muscle group focused video from start to end is actually a challenge and will get you sweating!\n\nIts is a dvd product you will have to buy (either digital or physical). Or... find alternative means on the internet. *wink wink*\n\nPoint being these stretches were designed to be used daily and they cover your whole body. They are not static stretches but dynamic which means they are less likely to cause any injuries (which could happen if you over do say... yoga or something where you hold a position too long and tear a muscle).\n\nWho is Steve Maxwell? He is an MMA strength/conditioning coach, orignal advocate of kettle bells before it was popular in the west, and holds a black belt in BJJ before it was also popular in the west. He trains some of the toughest athletes today. These stretches are designed not only to get you feeling great, get your body activated but also reduce potential injuries you might form from muscle imbalances and such. Oh and did I mention the guy is 70 years old and walks/moves around like hes 40 years of age? \n\n**", "Morning walk in fresh air with at least Half-kilo meter is very healthy. Morning walk means before sun rise. ", "Hey, I've been trying to get into daily stretching too and [this](http://phraktured.net/starting-stretching.html) is the routine I use. I like it. " ]

[ 5, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How do I make friends? I'm 22 male about to graduate. I don't have any close friends. I only socialize with people when I'm at work or school, don't really have a life outside of that. What can I do to make friends to hangout during weekends?", "How do I make friends? I'm 22 male about to graduate. I don't have any close friends. I only socialize with people when I'm at work or school, don't really have a life outside of that. What can I do to make friends to hangout during weekends?", "How do I make friends? I'm 22 male about to graduate. I don't have any close friends. I only socialize with people when I'm at work or school, don't really have a life outside of that. What can I do to make friends to hangout during weekends?", "How do I make friends? I'm 22 male about to graduate. I don't have any close friends. I only socialize with people when I'm at work or school, don't really have a life outside of that. What can I do to make friends to hangout during weekends?", "How do I make friends? I'm 22 male about to graduate. I don't have any close friends. I only socialize with people when I'm at work or school, don't really have a life outside of that. What can I do to make friends to hangout during weekends?", "How do I make friends? I'm 22 male about to graduate. I don't have any close friends. I only socialize with people when I'm at work or school, don't really have a life outside of that. What can I do to make friends to hangout during weekends?", "How do I make friends? I'm 22 male about to graduate. I don't have any close friends. I only socialize with people when I'm at work or school, don't really have a life outside of that. What can I do to make friends to hangout during weekends?", "How do I make friends? I'm 22 male about to graduate. I don't have any close friends. I only socialize with people when I'm at work or school, don't really have a life outside of that. What can I do to make friends to hangout during weekends?", "How do I make friends? I'm 22 male about to graduate. I don't have any close friends. I only socialize with people when I'm at work or school, don't really have a life outside of that. What can I do to make friends to hangout during weekends?" ]

[ "The hobby advice kind of bugs me, actually. It's friend-making advice for people who already know how to make friends. Clubs are a good way to meet people, but that doesn't mean you'll automatically be able to make friends with them ~~except for you lucky goddamn neurotypicals~~.", "Pick up a hobby and meet people outside of work through that! Don't be afraid to do stuff by yourself, you will meet people that way for sure!", "I would say the best way to make a friend is to find somebody who is also lonely. It's intimidating (and also very difficult) to insert yourself into an already existing group of friends, but you can find a friend, which can then lead to more friends by following some of the advice on here. I'd say find a hobby and look out for people who also seem lonely. When you finally talk to someone with whom you click, you must work on it. Don't say \"let's hang out sometime\" but set a specific date and activity and follow through. Get phone numbers and text and respond to texts. Of course, don't be over eager and creepy. \nThere are a lot of people out there who do not have a lot of close friends, go find them.\nSource: chronic loner living in a country 3000 miles away from home who recently made a few friends using these methods.", "Find a local homebrewing group and have them teach you to make beer. The bonus is that alcohol makes people open up and be friendly!\n\nWin-win-win.", "Having moved a lot growing up, I still struggle with this. I think this is one of the bigger lies media has sold us on. That everyone has to have a bunch of 'close friends'. Meet your neighbors, find out who lives around you. Find people that you have a common goal with and work towards that goal. I can count on one hand the 'close friends' I have. As long as you have one or two people that you feel yourself around, you are good.", "I think the hobby pro tip is great, but truly this is an organic process and cannot be forced. I did not have \"close friends\" until graduate school ", "You have to network. Even if it's something as small as liking a tv show, people with the same interests will communicate with you. After that, it's pretty easy to talk about other random things. Just build off that ", "The general \"consensus\" is to find people with similar interests, people who like the same stuff you like. Do you like any popular things? do you watch Game of Thrones? The Walking Dead? Star Wars? Superhero movies? those things are pretty popular right now, it's easy to find people who like those things. Do you not like those things? haven't watched them? maybe it's time to start!", "A lot of good advice here. Hobbies are a good place to find friends. Also remember that a lot of people are given anxiety by the prospect of the whole process of making new friends.\n\nMy wife and I recently had a conversation about making a couple we know into couples friends. They were all about it and said that they were looking for something like that, but they were \"bad at it\".\n\nMy point is: be yourself and try... Not too hard, but don't be afraid to put yourself out there. If they get annoyed by you or just simply don't want to be friends, that's cool. You don't need them. But if you do this enough, you WILL find friends." ]

[ 6, 6, 5, 5, 2, 1, 0, 0, 0 ]

[ "How to overcome my fear (I think) of calling unfamiliar people on the phone Lately, I have put off making an important phone call for over two months now simply because I can't bear the thought of calling someone unfamiliar. I think I may even have a fear of it (thus the \"I think\" in parentheses). So, how can I overcome this apparent fear?", "How to overcome my fear (I think) of calling unfamiliar people on the phone Lately, I have put off making an important phone call for over two months now simply because I can't bear the thought of calling someone unfamiliar. I think I may even have a fear of it (thus the \"I think\" in parentheses). So, how can I overcome this apparent fear?", "How to overcome my fear (I think) of calling unfamiliar people on the phone Lately, I have put off making an important phone call for over two months now simply because I can't bear the thought of calling someone unfamiliar. I think I may even have a fear of it (thus the \"I think\" in parentheses). So, how can I overcome this apparent fear?" ]

[ "If the call is about something important make a rough script...pointers of what you need to talk about. That way if you get nervous and forget the purpose of the call or start to stammer you'll have something to keep you on track. \nI used to have to cold call a lot of people for work... I made it fun and interesting for myself by trying to have a radio voice. I know it sounds silly, but I was focusing on how my voice sounded so I wasn't focusing on the fact that I was calling complete strangers. ", "I work in a call center, so by trade I have an unfathomable fear of talking on the phone outside of work. I cant comprehend why people just cant text me if they need something, or come over and talk in person. \n#callcenterflashbacks", "As with overcoming any fear the trick is to doing it in small increments. For example,\n1) Call your best friend (very familiar)\n2) Call a family member (pretty familiar)\n3) Call an previous teacher (familiar)\n4) Call someone who works at your company but a different location (unfamiliar)\n5) Call someone who works at a different company (very unfamiliar)" ]

[ 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to spot rental scams I'm currently trying to find a house to rent, and am concerned that a reply I received may be a scam. The homeowner called me an hour after submitting my application to ask some questions and get a bit of info. A couple things stood out to me:\n\n1.) He said he's too busy to meet me himself, but his realtor could meet me and show me the property. \n\n2.) The property is listed for several hundred dollars less than similar properties and the estimate that the website Zillow has it at. \n\nI've encountered several scams in the past that were pretty obvious, such as not being able to see the property before signing or similar things. If I do indeed meet this realtor friend and want to sign a lease with them, how can I protect myself?", "How to spot rental scams I'm currently trying to find a house to rent, and am concerned that a reply I received may be a scam. The homeowner called me an hour after submitting my application to ask some questions and get a bit of info. A couple things stood out to me:\n\n1.) He said he's too busy to meet me himself, but his realtor could meet me and show me the property. \n\n2.) The property is listed for several hundred dollars less than similar properties and the estimate that the website Zillow has it at. \n\nI've encountered several scams in the past that were pretty obvious, such as not being able to see the property before signing or similar things. If I do indeed meet this realtor friend and want to sign a lease with them, how can I protect myself?", "How to spot rental scams I'm currently trying to find a house to rent, and am concerned that a reply I received may be a scam. The homeowner called me an hour after submitting my application to ask some questions and get a bit of info. A couple things stood out to me:\n\n1.) He said he's too busy to meet me himself, but his realtor could meet me and show me the property. \n\n2.) The property is listed for several hundred dollars less than similar properties and the estimate that the website Zillow has it at. \n\nI've encountered several scams in the past that were pretty obvious, such as not being able to see the property before signing or similar things. If I do indeed meet this realtor friend and want to sign a lease with them, how can I protect myself?", "How to spot rental scams I'm currently trying to find a house to rent, and am concerned that a reply I received may be a scam. The homeowner called me an hour after submitting my application to ask some questions and get a bit of info. A couple things stood out to me:\n\n1.) He said he's too busy to meet me himself, but his realtor could meet me and show me the property. \n\n2.) The property is listed for several hundred dollars less than similar properties and the estimate that the website Zillow has it at. \n\nI've encountered several scams in the past that were pretty obvious, such as not being able to see the property before signing or similar things. If I do indeed meet this realtor friend and want to sign a lease with them, how can I protect myself?" ]

[ "In my experience, if you're having major misgivings about something, walk away. More often than not, you'll be better off.", "Ask to see the realtor’s license and have a lawyer review the lease if you have the means. \n\nIf they won’t let you see inside the property then bail.", "Look up property records and find out who legal owner is. Ask for contract showing real estate agent is authorized to be doing business. Ask to meet owner before handing over any money or signing a lease. Check owners ID", "all you have to do is ask to make an appt to see the place. if they do anything other than give you a time/date/address to meet you at then it’s scam." ]

[ 11, 11, 6, 4 ]

[ "How to NOT cry in awkward situations Sometimes a find that I cry for very little reason in a bad situation. Is there an easy way to stop this?", "How to NOT cry in awkward situations Sometimes a find that I cry for very little reason in a bad situation. Is there an easy way to stop this?", "How to NOT cry in awkward situations Sometimes a find that I cry for very little reason in a bad situation. Is there an easy way to stop this?", "How to NOT cry in awkward situations Sometimes a find that I cry for very little reason in a bad situation. Is there an easy way to stop this?", "How to NOT cry in awkward situations Sometimes a find that I cry for very little reason in a bad situation. Is there an easy way to stop this?", "How to NOT cry in awkward situations Sometimes a find that I cry for very little reason in a bad situation. Is there an easy way to stop this?", "How to NOT cry in awkward situations Sometimes a find that I cry for very little reason in a bad situation. Is there an easy way to stop this?", "How to NOT cry in awkward situations Sometimes a find that I cry for very little reason in a bad situation. Is there an easy way to stop this?" ]

[ "For me, I first try to see different angles for the situation, by doing that it helps distance myself emotionally and I generally make better decisions as well that way.", "I remember in sixth grade on track and field day. My event was the relay race and I was third. The fourth person didn't show in my lane and I quickly exhausted myself when I had to run half the race myself. When I got tired, I slowed down to a walk and I remember looking up at the stands and the students were all laughing at me. I was about to start crying when I had an epiphany, these people could all die in a fire and I wouldn't care one way or another. I finished the race in last place by far, but I learned something about myself that day. Why should I care about what a nameless mass of people think of me? If I know I tried my best, I don't worry about them.\n\nI hope this anecdote helps.", "You might want to try /r/Explainlikeimscared/ as well, I love that sub.\n\nThis actually happened to me today--I felt like everyone was yelling at me (it turned out everyone was just pissy in general because it was abnormally hot outside), and while I handled it okay in the moment, trying to talk to my family about it while in the grocery store made me start crying. Since we were in a place like a store, I could easily wander off to a water fountain and come back, to give myself a minute to calm down. \n\nIn a perfect world, /u/Hellishnoob is right, and you should aim to spend time with people who respect us sensitive folks. Unfortunately, we have to deal with less-kind strangers sometimes, but that just means more low-pressure chances to practice. :)", "Yes there is a way! Start to imagine or think of something in your mind's eye thats totally unrelated & somewhat industrious, something you have no feelings toward or something calming like that. I think of sewing, poking needle in fabric, thread coming out, repeat, repeat, repeat. I don't sew but that's a helpful visualization for me in odd situations.. Ex: needing to pee badly, needing to cry, about to shout something stupid at my ex, waiting my turn to talk when someone's taking too long, when a sex scene erupts on TV and I'm with someone I don't want to watch it with. It also helps when I zoom out of the situation like aerial view of all the threads <factors> that make this situation what it is.", "Wear giant sunglasses?\n\nBut seriously, for me, it helps to focus on slow, deep breaths. Gives you something to focus on, and ensures you don't start taking short quick breaths that might worsen your anxiety", "I have this weird thing too.\n\nI press my tongue to the top of mouth really hard and look away from the situation for a quick minute. Clenching your jaw is too noticeable and sometimes makes it worse.\n\nDon't feel weird about it. I literally do it even if I do something right - like say something especially poignant and someone agrees. (Social Anxiety/Agoraphobia is a bitch). \n\nBut, I easily get teary eyed if I'm frustrated trying to explain something, someone tells a compelling/emotional story, defending my side of an argument (no matter how right I feel I am), or even presenting to a huge crowd of people. It's the stupidest feeling in the world - but I have learned to try to quell it as soon as I realize it's happening. \n\nIf it goes too far I pull the 'allergies' excuse and stop to breathe and blink for a couple minutes till it goes away. ", "I used to get pretty anxious about almost anything, this has worked for me in the past year... stop giving a fuck. Remember that awkward moment you had in kindergarten? You probably don't, neither does the other person, and it likely doesn't affect you at all anymore, that helps put the situation in scale. Also, would you think less of a person if they had and awkward moment? Nope, it happens, they wont think any less of you either. If you make a big deal of it, they will to, brush it off, keep it going, be strong, be happy :)", "Drink water! If you can anticipate it, grab a glass or bottle of water. I'm not entirely sure why it works but I've been doing this for years and it works almost every time. I am a terrible baby this has helped me tremendously. " ]

[ 6, 4, 3, 3, 3, 3, 2, 2 ]

[ "How to not have crippling fear of death 21, In a relationship, can't help but keep thinking about the inevitable demise of my body and can't stomach it. Been afraid of it low-key since i was around 17, but the past two days have been the absolute worst since my mother basically wished me to never have been born.\n\nAny and all comments are appreciated and I really thank you for your time.", "How to not have crippling fear of death 21, In a relationship, can't help but keep thinking about the inevitable demise of my body and can't stomach it. Been afraid of it low-key since i was around 17, but the past two days have been the absolute worst since my mother basically wished me to never have been born.\n\nAny and all comments are appreciated and I really thank you for your time.", "How to not have crippling fear of death 21, In a relationship, can't help but keep thinking about the inevitable demise of my body and can't stomach it. Been afraid of it low-key since i was around 17, but the past two days have been the absolute worst since my mother basically wished me to never have been born.\n\nAny and all comments are appreciated and I really thank you for your time." ]

[ "The first thing to understand is that you should get therapy. You've been through some serious stuff, and no one here can give you advice about such a sensitive part of your life as well as a trained professional can.\n\nThat being said, \"distracting yourself\" is not the goal here. Trying to get yourself to \"not think\" about something is just about impossible. If I ask you not to think of a white bear, the first thing you're going to do is think about a white bear. This is not the goal. If you keep trying to avoid this fear, and struggle to wash it out of your mind, you're only going to increase the anxiety you feel toward it, because you *just can't seem to get it out of your head*.\n\nIt is much easier, and much more productive, to simply fear without resisting. You are afraid of death, and *that's ok*. Everyone is. It naturally comes because life is enjoyable and we don't want it to end. It's useless to speculate, so just enjoy life instead. You may be surprised at how quickly fear passes if you just let it be.", "Lay down and think about it until you realize you will never really die in a sense. reality is being perceived every single person on earth in their own point of view. Every persons own world has been changed by your actions. little or big changes. So in a sense, as long as other people remember you you will always have a mark on life. \n\nBattery is low. i'd say more but i hope you just think bout things.", "Stop thinking about it. If death pops in your brain and says 'hello' immediately think of something else or distract yourself.\n\nNo one can really help you to stop thinking. You have to learn how to shut out the bad thoughts as soon as you have them. \n\nFor me...I remind myself that death is inevitable and everyone faces it. You can't stop it...so worrying about it is pointless. Enjoy life while you can...worry about death when your on its doorstep." ]

[ 3, 3, 1 ]

[ " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. 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Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?", " Been drinking a 1.5 litre a day. I brush my teeth and I'm at the gym most nights but need to kill this habit before it kills me. Help?" ]

[ "My brother was addicted to drinking coke. He decided to cut it out completely but realized he needed that \"fizzing\" feel in a drink. So what he basically did was substitute soft drinks for Perrier. Now whenever I go to my mom's house the fridge is filled with lime and grapefruit flavoured Perrier water. \n\nHe's lost quite a bit of weight since cutting it out and hasn't drank pop in over 2 months. It might be a tad more expensive than soda but it's zero calories and will still give you the \"fizzy\" feeling of a cola minus all the crazy sugar and calories it contains.\n\nObviously going cold turkey right off the bat might not be the best thing so maybe try downsizing the amount of pop you drink per day from 1.5L to maybe 1L and substitute that .5L with Perrier. Then gradually bring the soda down to 0 and drink 1.5L ( if that's what you require) of something else.\n\nI gave the suggestion of Perrier but I personally am not the greatest fan of it - however it's calorie less and worked wonders for my brother as he just needed to have carbonated drinks in his diet (force of habit I'm assuming). \n\nWhatever you do, don't switch out to diet coke or anything with aspartame as that will not be helpful to your health either.\n\nBest of luck! ", "Two ways. Limit your consumption steadily by making a limit per week (5 cans a week, then 4 cans, etc). Your other option is straight up cold turkey and never look back. I used the second method on McDonalds about 4 years ago and am now disgusted at the thought of even eating it despite how hard it was at first. Just convince your brain that you hate it and are repulsed by it and eventually you will be. Good luck!", "Stop buying it and having it in the fridge. Especially stop buying large bottles which, once opened, you feel like you must finish. The point is to stop having it as your go-to drink. Water makes a good go-to-drink.\nIf you've been having caffeinated pop then consider having coffee to get your caffeine fix (regular brewed coffee not syrup-flavored lattes). Add a packet or teaspoon of sugar if you must; it's no match for the soda. This way you can cope with the reduced sugar intake separately from the reduced caffeine.\n", "You just stop drinking it. The lack of caffeine will suck for about a month - the first two weeks being the worst. \n\n", "I went cold turkey for 5 years. I recently started drinking it again, but I am going cold turkey again at the end of the month. When I was cold turkey it was just water for my liquids. ", "Will power. The realization you'll probably end up with diabetes if you continue. Social responsibility to avoid taxing the health care system where you live. ", "Whenever you crave drinking a soda, chug a glass of water. The craving should go away. Sparkling water is a great alternative as well. ", "Replace it with something else. I like beer and iced tea. \n\nSeriously... you get a limited number of calories that you can consume during the day without gaining weight... is soda *really* the way you want to spend those? Or are there more pleasant and desirable things to consume?", "No advice will help you until you firmly pick a date and stop. You have to be 100% sure you want to quit, then quit. \n\nIf you can't cut back by yourself (and if you're asking for help on the internet, you can't), then you have a problem and need to solve it. Admit it, quit it. Replace it with lots of strong flavored beverages if it helps. Coffee (decaf) and tea. Iced tea grows on you. I went the diet route for a bit but it didn't help and those things are horrible for you. \n\nIf you truly want to stop, you will. It's a pain in the ass and hard as hell at first but it gets easier and you'll feel better and be healthier. If you're not ready to quit, you won't. I just quit smoking a month or so ago and am over a year and a half out from quitting drinking. I was on pills for diabetes which led to shots, but I'm back on pills. I tried wellbutrin and patches and gum and nothing except deciding, 100%, that you're quitting and not fucking around works.", "I moved to drinking Japanese green tea and then transitioned down slowly to mostly water or iced tea. You brew green tea at a lower temp and shorter duration than black tea otherwise it will get bitter. Japanese green has its own fresh clean sweetness. ", "Get a SodaStream!!\n\nIf you're not familiar with it, it just carbonates water. \n\nYou can add any flavor to it too! Combine it with some orange/lime slices and you have a delicious fizzy drink :)", "Are you addicted to the caffeine or something? Just stop! If you need the caffeine, then start drinking coffee and tea. They are better for you anyway since they are more natural. If you can't deal with coffee and tea, then start substituting decaf sodas and then taper them out of your diet.\n\nMy rules for soda drinking are twofold - first you just don't buy it. If someone offers some, sure go ahead and drink. But don't actively seek it out. Second, it's not a drink that goes with food. It's a treat. When you drink it with food, it makes the food taste weird. Water goes with meals and sodas are treats to have as a refreshment in between meals. Third rule that I just thought of... none of this counts if there's alcohol involved. Someone makes you a rum and coke or whatever, drink up!\n\nI have a Sodastream and drink plain soda when I want something fizzy. I add fruit juice when I want something sweet. I buy bottle sodas rarely, mostly for guests.", "i know this wont be helpful, but for me i used to drink a bottle of coke a day. sometimes 2. i just quit cold turkey and now drink bottled water. i don't miss it, which i find shocking.\n\ni hope you're able to kick the habit.", "[Make your own](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0036V0UQY?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s00). I feel you. Water is so fucking boring. I need the fizz! \n\nI make 2-3 liters of seltzer every day and this guy lasts me around 2-3 months. Filling up is $18.50. \n\nPlus you can make any kind of soda you want, zero sugar. ", "This is what worked for me and my 100 ounces/day habit. I heard David Sedaris talk about his cigarette addiction. He said that he smoked so intensely and so frequently in his early years that he figured out that he has smoked as many cigarettes as someone needed to in an entire lifetime. I used that logic with soda. I figured that a normal person(i.e. non-addicted) probably has 4 or 5 sodas a month, and I would easily have that in a day. I told myself that I had consumed all the soda that I could. I have been soda-free fpr over 2 years. I've had my share and I still miss it, but I'll never have another one. I'm an addict. ", "Put a few ounces of juice in carbonated water. You get flavor and the fizzy feeling of soda. Or if you don't care about the fizzy feeling just put a few ounces of juice mixed with water from the tap.", "Look at the sugar content.\n\nGrab a glass.\n\nWhenever you drink soda, note down the sugar it had.\n\nMeasure that amount of sugar into the glass.\n\nYou'll need a second glass before you know it.", "It usually takes about 20 to 30 days to develop a new habit. I would suggest going cold turkey on soda but not caffeine. You will probably need a caffeine substitute (anything but soda). Then wean yourself down off the caffeine. Once your old habit is broken, you can enjoy a soda every now and again as a special treat. You can tell yourself you will have one in a month to celebrate breaking your habit as a reward. ", "I used to have the same issue. I would drink about 2-3 sodas a day. I basically decided about 70 days ago to simply quit. \n\nThe biggest challenge was that I was always, am still slightly, craving it. So I always have water near me. I bought a pitcher, and kept it full at work each day. Whenever I had an urge to drink soda, I would drink a glass of water instead.\n\nNow, here is the thing - I really enjoy soda, so while I didn't drink any full cans or glasses, I will occasionally have a few sips to enjoy a little. The goal isn't to quit something I enjoy, its to reduce it to a level that won't hurt your health.\n\nIn the last 70+ days, I have had maybe 4-5 sips, and 2 half soda's with a meal. Considering I would have easily had over 100-140 full sodas, it has helped tremendously.\n\nOh, and coffee. We make a lot of espresso at work and I have a Keurig at home. It helps when you need caffeine and you want to avoid soda.", "I started drinking sparkling flavored water so I would stop drinking soda. Obviously the taste is not sweet at all, but after awhile I realized that sipping from a cold can was what I really used to / craving. Now I can't drink soda very often because it's too sweet, I'm so used to the water.\n\nTry La Croix, all the flavors are good.", "I cold-turkeyed it after drinking (conservative estimate) four cans worth a day, so take my advice for what it's worth.\n\nStopping is easy. Staying stopped is the hard part. Basically, you need to avoid even looking in the general direction of a pop machine or fountain machine, as you will instantly gravitate toward it; I had to physically stop myself from using them the first few days. And then there's the craving...this is almost the worst part. You want that Coke, but you won't let yourself have it. Get ready to be in a bad mood due to caffeine withdrawl. Especially if your coworkers regularly drink it.\n\nIt took about two weeks for the near-uncontrollable urge to go get a pop whenever I saw a machine or people drinking it went away. It took another couple weeks for the craving to disappear entirely. ", "Honestly I would just tell yourself you need to stop whenever you have a craving. Drink something else in place, water or tea are great options, mainly because they're healthy. I love green tea, it's very refreshing. I used to drink lots of pop and milk until I went on a health kick. Now I don't drink pop at all anymore, simply because it doesn't appeal to me at all. I've tried it a few times since but it just makes me thirsty and I feel like the syrup is just coating my mouth. I honestly feel like the best method for quitting something is knowing you want to quit. When I quit cigarettes and pop and some eating habits it was easy because I knew I truly wanted to quit, that I wasn't just doing it because it's healthy or because someone else wanted me to, it was because I wanted to.", "Here's an effective way (for me at least) whenever you see a Coke can, think of this:\nhttp://www.sugarstacks.com/beverages.htm\nYou are literally shoveling sugar into your mouth :o\n\n", "Haven't seen this said yet, soooo....read about the effects on your health and become disgusted with High Fructose corn syrup. Not on a soapbox, I still drink soda, but I can resist having the taste when I consider what's in it.\n\nAs others have said, substituting with a knock off that doesn't have the stuff, or carbonated flavored waters, is effective.", "Go cold turkey and drink more water. That was the number one thing for me was realizing that not changing my water consumption after cutting soda really made me dehydrated, so go cold turkey and drink as much water as you can (min 8 cups).", "Get into the habit of drinking water and staying hydrated. Try to notice that the craving for soda is a craving for sugar, usually you can subsidise the craving by eating something nutritious and sugary like honey and butter on toast. Staying hydrated with water will make you feel a lot better than a sugar crash from a coca-cola, and your body will reward you for that. ", "Every time you crave soda, drink water instead. it willl kill the craving. I do this when i start ending up drinking to much juice or just eating to many snacks. a glass of water usually fixes it", "Eat grapes. Specifically, red seedless grapes. \n\nEvery time I was thirsty for a soda, eating a handful or two of those juicy morsels of goodness took away the craving. LPTBonus: Better, more consistent poops, which means more reddit.", "Drink a full glass of water before drinking a glass of soda. You will be amazed at how much less soda you drink and you will feel satisfied / hydrated .", "Club soda with 1/2 a lemon or lime squeezed in, you will miss the sugar for a while but that will pass and you will look forward to having this instead of sugar. It is much more refreshing.", "Buy a nice water bottle you will love. Having it available on you limits your options and distractions from thinking about pop.\n\nThink about it in terms of 'how many sugar cubes are you willing to eat'. There are about 10 sugar cubes in a can of coke. Can you bring yourself to chew on 10 sugar cubes by itself?", "As a soda lover (used to) i stopped drinking soda because everytime i drank soda i always craved it more as if soda made me more thirsty. I started to slowly cut back on soda and it worked for me and to this day , i cannot sip on soda. It tastes really flat n bad now. You should try drinking plain green tea and getting used to the bitterness . Good luck on cutting back on the soda!!\n\nYou're the only one that can defeat yourself, be mentally strong and avoid the soda", "You need to get more educated on the effects of soda on your teeth and your body and then you stop drinking it. ", "Work harder at the gym. I mean kill yourself. What ever you think is too hard, go harder. The thing that broke my habit was the Insanity videos. I would be so exhausted and broken afterward that the thought of soda repulsed me. After a month of truly craving nothing but water, I never went back to soda. It essentially programmed my body to associate relief and refreshment with water. ", "When I quit I did it by substituting the soda with carbonated water, I always just liked it for the bubbles anyway. ", "Try replacing it with soda water and syrup. You don't need much to flavour your drink, and its substantially healthier. It's basically the same but with a controllable amount of sugar.\n\nIf you like tonic (and most do not) I drink that as a \"bitter soda\". It also has quinine, which can be beneficial to your health and GLOWS in the dark. Infinitely cooler than Coke.", "Try replacing it with a mix of soda water and cranberry juice. That's how I went from 3 sodas/day, down to zero. ", "Make your own Ice Tea with lots of different Teas and sweeten it with Aspartame or Stevia. Stevia tastes awful in my Opinion, I would go with Aspartame.", "I quit drinking it when I picked up trail running. I always hated the monotony of running, but some friends got me into trail running. It loses its appeal when you're trying to stay legitimately hydrated.\n\nAs a bonus I dropped from 185 to 170 in just a few months without any other changes to my diet. (I'm 6'1\")\n\nI'd recommend picking up any cardio routine you find enjoyable, and your appetite for soda will diminish.", "I haven't had even a taste of soda in 3+ years. I did it by whenever I had the chance to order soda... I ordered iced tea instead... I drink a lot of iced tea :) ", "Go camping or on a vacation.\n\nThat large change (albeit for a short amount of time) gives you the new location/opportunity to make a change.\n\nCamping works especially works well as you sure can't carry in liters of drinks on the trail. So three days out in the middle of nowhere might be a good starting spot to lose the addiction (yes, it is an addiction) to bubbly stuff.", "For me I used to drink mtn dew all the time but I really don't like the diet mtn dew so I only bought the diet stuff I didn't like it but wanted soda so I'd drink it after awhile I was like I don't want this stuff anymore so I get water or mild or juice", "Cold turkey. It's the only way to deal with addictions, and yes, you have an addiction. Just like other addictions, you should never go cold turkey then think \"oh, well I'm doing so well I could just have one.\" \n\nThis just starts the road of rationalizing till you're right back where you started. If you need carbonated drinks, I suggest GTs Kombucha, not only with it satisfy sweetness and carbonation but they're good for you. There are like a dozen flavours so if you don't like a few, don't just give up on kombucha all together. \n\nSoda really is killing you softly, so I'm glad you're making the choice to beat the addiction. ", "1. Replace a bad habit with a less bad one. For instance: replace soda addiction with a (black) coffee addiction.\n\n2. Avoid social situations (e.g. restaurants, certain people's houses) where you are likely to drink soda.\n\n", "Saw a lot of great comments, I'll give my 2 cents.\nGet a water filter, a good one. Makes water taste soo much better. ", "Put Tabasco sauce in your drink before drinking it. You will want some milk or water to get the awful taste out of your mouth and will eventually stop drinking it." ]

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[ "how to make your writing look good Mine looks like chicken scratch. Every so often something hits /r/all and it is some beautiful calligraphy or just some nice handwriting. I scroll through the comments hoping someone has posted their secrets on how to get to that level. \n\nFinally I am asking, how? ", "how to make your writing look good Mine looks like chicken scratch. Every so often something hits /r/all and it is some beautiful calligraphy or just some nice handwriting. I scroll through the comments hoping someone has posted their secrets on how to get to that level. \n\nFinally I am asking, how? " ]

[ "I didnt like my handwriting very much, so i did two things:\n\nFirst, i got a writing implement i liked and could comfortably use for a while. For me, it was a good ballpoint or cheap fountain pen vs the crappy bic pens i had used.\n\nThen i got some lined paper and practiced taking my time in writing my letters and then words. When it comes to refocusing muscle memory like handwriting, focus on working slowly and getting it correct. Then as you practice, your writing will become more like second nature, and you will speed up. Some handwriting practice pages like those found on /r/handwriting are helpful for this.\n\nNow, i have a fast scribble i use to take notes in class, a nice print for when i want good legible handwriting, and a practiced cursive when i want to make it look pretty.", "First of all, try to practice more. I've noticed that especially nowadays, with all the computers and phones, people rarely write.\n\nSecond, try to keep your hands fairly relaxed, because if you're going to be squeezing the pen, it will be harder to make nice curves and straight lines. Google the videos on how to hold a pen correctly, I'm amazed how some people hold pens and yet expect to have good handwriting. It is also going to help you if you're writing for a prolonged periods of time. \n\nAlso, even if you're not planning to find a calligrapher, find some practice sheets with basic shapes and strokes, it's going to teach you how to keep your letters even in height and consistent in angle. \n\nAnd yeah, like it's already been mentioned, find a pen that works for you. \n\nGood luck! :) " ]

[ 2, 1 ]

[ "How to Compartmentalize Work Stress I'll give the specific context of my work situation in a minute. Let me start with the question, asked broadly.\n\n**When you're in a position of authority at work but outcomes are largely out of your control, how do you avoid getting stressed out -- both at work and in the hours between?**\n\n===\n\n**My situation:** \n\nMost of my work experience is in hospitality. I started at a new hotel a few months back, in a basic front desk position. This worked incredibly well for me, especially when it came to work-life balance. Then, a couple of months ago, a new GM started. They were functionally incompetent at the role and caused a high number of problems for every department. They were let go after being in the position for a month and a half.\n\nI was asked to step in to take on a portion of those management responsibilities, officially being put in charge of the front desk. But, with the release of the GM and with another staff member having given notice just days ago, I'm now in a position where I need to work full-time on the desk, hire three new people, *and* take on a stack of new responsibilities. And hiring has *not* been going well.\n\nBut that's not the real problem. The real problem is that I'm a stressed-out mess. My work performance is suffering and I'm a lot more irritable with both staff and guests. I can't think of better solutions or new approaches because my brain's in panic mode. I can't fully show up for my family because I'm so tightly wound. I can't even enjoy my time off, because I'm always spiraling into the stress of the work situation, especially when it comes to hiring.\n\nMaybe this is just an aspect of who I am and the only real solution is to step down from the management position. But I also feel like learning compartmentalization -- how to let go of the stuff I can't control, leave work at work, and not spiral into the stress of uncontrollable situations -- could be a crucial skill in other areas of my life. And even if I were to step down, the understaffing issue remains, and is likely to be a source of stress whether I'm the manager or not.\n\nHow do you let go of (potential problematic or disastrous) work situations you can't control? How do you leave your work problems at work? How do you avoid spiraling into stress?\n\nI'm stuck. I could use any advice you have.", "How to Compartmentalize Work Stress I'll give the specific context of my work situation in a minute. Let me start with the question, asked broadly.\n\n**When you're in a position of authority at work but outcomes are largely out of your control, how do you avoid getting stressed out -- both at work and in the hours between?**\n\n===\n\n**My situation:** \n\nMost of my work experience is in hospitality. I started at a new hotel a few months back, in a basic front desk position. This worked incredibly well for me, especially when it came to work-life balance. Then, a couple of months ago, a new GM started. They were functionally incompetent at the role and caused a high number of problems for every department. They were let go after being in the position for a month and a half.\n\nI was asked to step in to take on a portion of those management responsibilities, officially being put in charge of the front desk. But, with the release of the GM and with another staff member having given notice just days ago, I'm now in a position where I need to work full-time on the desk, hire three new people, *and* take on a stack of new responsibilities. And hiring has *not* been going well.\n\nBut that's not the real problem. The real problem is that I'm a stressed-out mess. My work performance is suffering and I'm a lot more irritable with both staff and guests. I can't think of better solutions or new approaches because my brain's in panic mode. I can't fully show up for my family because I'm so tightly wound. I can't even enjoy my time off, because I'm always spiraling into the stress of the work situation, especially when it comes to hiring.\n\nMaybe this is just an aspect of who I am and the only real solution is to step down from the management position. But I also feel like learning compartmentalization -- how to let go of the stuff I can't control, leave work at work, and not spiral into the stress of uncontrollable situations -- could be a crucial skill in other areas of my life. And even if I were to step down, the understaffing issue remains, and is likely to be a source of stress whether I'm the manager or not.\n\nHow do you let go of (potential problematic or disastrous) work situations you can't control? How do you leave your work problems at work? How do you avoid spiraling into stress?\n\nI'm stuck. I could use any advice you have.", "How to Compartmentalize Work Stress I'll give the specific context of my work situation in a minute. Let me start with the question, asked broadly.\n\n**When you're in a position of authority at work but outcomes are largely out of your control, how do you avoid getting stressed out -- both at work and in the hours between?**\n\n===\n\n**My situation:** \n\nMost of my work experience is in hospitality. I started at a new hotel a few months back, in a basic front desk position. This worked incredibly well for me, especially when it came to work-life balance. Then, a couple of months ago, a new GM started. They were functionally incompetent at the role and caused a high number of problems for every department. They were let go after being in the position for a month and a half.\n\nI was asked to step in to take on a portion of those management responsibilities, officially being put in charge of the front desk. But, with the release of the GM and with another staff member having given notice just days ago, I'm now in a position where I need to work full-time on the desk, hire three new people, *and* take on a stack of new responsibilities. And hiring has *not* been going well.\n\nBut that's not the real problem. The real problem is that I'm a stressed-out mess. My work performance is suffering and I'm a lot more irritable with both staff and guests. I can't think of better solutions or new approaches because my brain's in panic mode. I can't fully show up for my family because I'm so tightly wound. I can't even enjoy my time off, because I'm always spiraling into the stress of the work situation, especially when it comes to hiring.\n\nMaybe this is just an aspect of who I am and the only real solution is to step down from the management position. But I also feel like learning compartmentalization -- how to let go of the stuff I can't control, leave work at work, and not spiral into the stress of uncontrollable situations -- could be a crucial skill in other areas of my life. And even if I were to step down, the understaffing issue remains, and is likely to be a source of stress whether I'm the manager or not.\n\nHow do you let go of (potential problematic or disastrous) work situations you can't control? How do you leave your work problems at work? How do you avoid spiraling into stress?\n\nI'm stuck. I could use any advice you have." ]

[ "While taking care of your physical self is important, you've already hit on one of the key components: Ask yourself \"Is X something I have any control over?\" If the answer is no, let it go. Focus on the things you DO have control over. You can't control how many people apply for your available positions, but you can control how you interact with your subordinates. You can't control your workload, but you can control how you prioritize those tasks. In my job, I often find that there are things that are truly crucial, and then there's everything else. People would have you believe that everything is crucial, but it's not. Employee payroll? Crucial. inventorying the linen closet? Not. While you're short staffed, you may have to figure out where your effort is best spent. If it's not crucial, let it go, or delegate it to someone else. If you're under water, get some of the people you supervise to step up and help with some of the things that would typically be your responsibility. Some problems are not yours to fix--you might be the shift manager, but you can't do anything about company policy or a poorly-managed organization. Make it the best it can be for you and your underlings, but don't get sucked into feeling like every problem is yours to fix.\n\nWhen you go home, take some time (30 mins? Maybe more?) to transition from work to home. Take the time to let go of the stresses of the day, and remind yourself of what's important in your home life. Do m", "Prioritize taking care of yourself, which in this case means getting regular (3x per week) exercise consisting of cardio and at least some light strength training (push-ups, weightless squats are fine). Regular exercise is going to make you feel vastly better and more resilient mentally. \n\nSecond, reframe all of this as an amazing learning opportunity and way to get career development. Sounds like an exciting turn of events! Best of luck", "It makes sense how stressed out you are given the work load. I’d try being nicer to yourself and not making everything your fault. I.e something goes wrong, say to yourself “that didn’t turn out the way I wanted but I am doing the job of 3 people right now so what can they expect”. \nIt’s also worth keeping a bit of perspective. I am not sure how much money you make, but the stress you are under should be on par with the pay. If I was an emergency room doctor for a children’s cancer hospital maying $800K a year, I could lose some sleep over work. My admin job for a medium size consulting firm? Not a chance." ]

[ 2, 2, 2 ]

[ "How to project your voice when speaking in front of a group. So I have the opportunity teach kids computer programming once a week. I've tutored kids before and really enjoyed it but it was on a one-one ratio. I'm worried about getting in front of a group of students and not being loud enough for them to hear.\n\nMy voice is naturally soft-spoken and whenever I speak in front of a group it gets worse. Also, when I get nervous it gets shakey so when I try to speak up the shakiness is amplified. This leads me to become even more self-conscience and focus my energy on my voice rather than what I'm actually saying. Is there anything I can do to improve this? I know confidence plays a role and I'm working on that, but I was wondering if there was anything else that would help.", "How to project your voice when speaking in front of a group. So I have the opportunity teach kids computer programming once a week. I've tutored kids before and really enjoyed it but it was on a one-one ratio. I'm worried about getting in front of a group of students and not being loud enough for them to hear.\n\nMy voice is naturally soft-spoken and whenever I speak in front of a group it gets worse. Also, when I get nervous it gets shakey so when I try to speak up the shakiness is amplified. This leads me to become even more self-conscience and focus my energy on my voice rather than what I'm actually saying. Is there anything I can do to improve this? I know confidence plays a role and I'm working on that, but I was wondering if there was anything else that would help.", "How to project your voice when speaking in front of a group. So I have the opportunity teach kids computer programming once a week. I've tutored kids before and really enjoyed it but it was on a one-one ratio. I'm worried about getting in front of a group of students and not being loud enough for them to hear.\n\nMy voice is naturally soft-spoken and whenever I speak in front of a group it gets worse. Also, when I get nervous it gets shakey so when I try to speak up the shakiness is amplified. This leads me to become even more self-conscience and focus my energy on my voice rather than what I'm actually saying. Is there anything I can do to improve this? I know confidence plays a role and I'm working on that, but I was wondering if there was anything else that would help.", "How to project your voice when speaking in front of a group. So I have the opportunity teach kids computer programming once a week. I've tutored kids before and really enjoyed it but it was on a one-one ratio. I'm worried about getting in front of a group of students and not being loud enough for them to hear.\n\nMy voice is naturally soft-spoken and whenever I speak in front of a group it gets worse. Also, when I get nervous it gets shakey so when I try to speak up the shakiness is amplified. This leads me to become even more self-conscience and focus my energy on my voice rather than what I'm actually saying. Is there anything I can do to improve this? I know confidence plays a role and I'm working on that, but I was wondering if there was anything else that would help.", "How to project your voice when speaking in front of a group. So I have the opportunity teach kids computer programming once a week. I've tutored kids before and really enjoyed it but it was on a one-one ratio. I'm worried about getting in front of a group of students and not being loud enough for them to hear.\n\nMy voice is naturally soft-spoken and whenever I speak in front of a group it gets worse. Also, when I get nervous it gets shakey so when I try to speak up the shakiness is amplified. This leads me to become even more self-conscience and focus my energy on my voice rather than what I'm actually saying. Is there anything I can do to improve this? I know confidence plays a role and I'm working on that, but I was wondering if there was anything else that would help.", "How to project your voice when speaking in front of a group. So I have the opportunity teach kids computer programming once a week. I've tutored kids before and really enjoyed it but it was on a one-one ratio. I'm worried about getting in front of a group of students and not being loud enough for them to hear.\n\nMy voice is naturally soft-spoken and whenever I speak in front of a group it gets worse. Also, when I get nervous it gets shakey so when I try to speak up the shakiness is amplified. This leads me to become even more self-conscience and focus my energy on my voice rather than what I'm actually saying. Is there anything I can do to improve this? I know confidence plays a role and I'm working on that, but I was wondering if there was anything else that would help.", "How to project your voice when speaking in front of a group. So I have the opportunity teach kids computer programming once a week. I've tutored kids before and really enjoyed it but it was on a one-one ratio. I'm worried about getting in front of a group of students and not being loud enough for them to hear.\n\nMy voice is naturally soft-spoken and whenever I speak in front of a group it gets worse. Also, when I get nervous it gets shakey so when I try to speak up the shakiness is amplified. This leads me to become even more self-conscience and focus my energy on my voice rather than what I'm actually saying. Is there anything I can do to improve this? I know confidence plays a role and I'm working on that, but I was wondering if there was anything else that would help.", "How to project your voice when speaking in front of a group. So I have the opportunity teach kids computer programming once a week. I've tutored kids before and really enjoyed it but it was on a one-one ratio. I'm worried about getting in front of a group of students and not being loud enough for them to hear.\n\nMy voice is naturally soft-spoken and whenever I speak in front of a group it gets worse. Also, when I get nervous it gets shakey so when I try to speak up the shakiness is amplified. This leads me to become even more self-conscience and focus my energy on my voice rather than what I'm actually saying. Is there anything I can do to improve this? I know confidence plays a role and I'm working on that, but I was wondering if there was anything else that would help." ]

[ "Outside of knowing your material backwards and forwards, speak from your gut. When you talk, relax your throat and allow your voice to project out as you breathe from the stomach. You'll hit a more natural resonance to your body and it should sound fuller and more confident. With that, keep breathing while you speak. Not only will it allow your voice to carry more naturally, but it will keep you steadier and more grounded as you talk. ", "Several people are discussing the technical way to project your voice. For the introspective individual who may also be soft spoken, get over what others might be thinking of your voice. Chances are, they aren't.", "I talk a lot in front of groups, and specially outdoors. I also had to learn to speak loud and clear.\n\nI got a buddy to help me find the right volume. We want to different locations and he sat/stood at different distances and I started to talk. He would quickly give me feedback if I was talking too loud or too low. \n\nIt felt a bit weird to begin with but after a while it came on it's own. And don't be afraid of asking the kids if they can hear you (which could also be used to grab the attention of kids that aren't focusing).\n\nI also learned a thing or two from TED videos. I'll search for a few and add them to this comment.\n\nP.S. body posture/stance can also help you. Keep your back straight!\nP.S.P.S if you feel uncomfortable with looking people in the eye you could always look at their forhead\n\n", "I struggle with this too, so I really appreciate your post and the advice already given. Something that worked for me was sitting in a classroom (or a place similar to where you are presenting) with a friend sitting at the other side of the room. The friend should be someone you communicate with easily. Have a conversation with your friend about anything you want across the space. Keep practicing! It eventually, as hard as it is to believe, gets better. ", "A simple way I learned is more general, but it helps.\n\nLearn *where* your speaking voice really is. Try placing your voice in a way such that it resonates somewhere between your nose and your jaw. It may be different, it could be in your throat, sometimes even your chest, but generally it is there.\n\nIt becomes MUCH easier to speak when you can keep your voice level. If you concentrate on that instead of your inflexion or your shakiness, speaking becomes much easier.\n\nBut practice always makes perfect, if you don't speak with a public voice outside of public events, you aren't going to be able to do it right.", "Talk to the back of the room. To break the ice and reduce your nerves ask the back of the room if they can hear you. Something like, \"Hey! Nosebleed seats! Can you hear me?\" Getting a small chuckle out of your audience will cut the tension and instantly verify if you are speaking loud enough.", "Start each sentence loudly, people will be quiet to listen. Continually ask if people can hear you, speak slowly and (this is the weird one) try to speak higher pitched. It's easier to hear. I was a teacher and know that speaking in a low voice is much harder to hear over background noise. \n\nBut mostly be confident and enjoy it! Public speaking is one of my favourite things and you will learn to be comfortable with it! ", "Everything that has already been said before plus.... be confident in yourself! If you are not 100% confident, that will show in your speech and it will be shaky and uneven.\n\nI used to walk in with the mind set of \"they know absolutely nothing so I can say whatever I want and they will believe me\". It worked wonderfully and over time my confidence grew and now it's automatidc" ]

[ 8, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "i watched a really disturbing video and i want to know how to stop thinking about it. It was a video about animal cruelty (wont go into graphic details) and i am very sensitive towards that stuff. If i try not thinking about it, it just pops up more often. How do i forget it or atleast stop thinking about it?", "i watched a really disturbing video and i want to know how to stop thinking about it. It was a video about animal cruelty (wont go into graphic details) and i am very sensitive towards that stuff. If i try not thinking about it, it just pops up more often. How do i forget it or atleast stop thinking about it?", "i watched a really disturbing video and i want to know how to stop thinking about it. It was a video about animal cruelty (wont go into graphic details) and i am very sensitive towards that stuff. If i try not thinking about it, it just pops up more often. How do i forget it or atleast stop thinking about it?", "i watched a really disturbing video and i want to know how to stop thinking about it. It was a video about animal cruelty (wont go into graphic details) and i am very sensitive towards that stuff. If i try not thinking about it, it just pops up more often. How do i forget it or atleast stop thinking about it?", "i watched a really disturbing video and i want to know how to stop thinking about it. It was a video about animal cruelty (wont go into graphic details) and i am very sensitive towards that stuff. If i try not thinking about it, it just pops up more often. How do i forget it or atleast stop thinking about it?", "i watched a really disturbing video and i want to know how to stop thinking about it. It was a video about animal cruelty (wont go into graphic details) and i am very sensitive towards that stuff. If i try not thinking about it, it just pops up more often. How do i forget it or atleast stop thinking about it?", "i watched a really disturbing video and i want to know how to stop thinking about it. It was a video about animal cruelty (wont go into graphic details) and i am very sensitive towards that stuff. If i try not thinking about it, it just pops up more often. How do i forget it or atleast stop thinking about it?" ]

[ "This is only to be done in focusing on a new and exiting event or topic that you can create. It should have a certain newness about, something that you did not do before and that gets you involved as a whole person and raises your heartbeat level. \n\nThe Brain does not exactly know the word „no“. \nNot thinking about something does not work. It’s then more like thinking about to think not about it.", "When one sees (or experiences IRL) something disturbing or scary our brains focus on it to save us. One can try to talk to it (yes!) by thinking \"thank you for the warning, this is cool I have the situation under control\". Also focusing on something else can help (good suggestions already 😀). Something needing all your attention, like Tetris, used immediately after an event can even help prevent PTSD.", "The problem is that trying not to think about something requires you create a mental filter that includes that thing in it. We can't control the process of filtering so more ard more of our brain's focus is taken up by the thing we are avoiding until we take our next mental pause and find that it is still bouncing around! The only choice is to find something else to consume our focus that will push out what was there previously.", "I saw this clip of a suicide on stream and it instantly gave me a panic attack. Without much thinking I turned on my favorite comfort youtubers video and had a clean up in my kitchen. Cheerful backround noise with some exercise usually does a trick for me.. If it really shaken you to the core maybe try talking about it with a friend, just putting it out there will make you feel lighter.", "I am sorry that you had this experience - one thing you can do is mentally face the thoughts (no matter how difficult they each are), then acknowledge each thought (\"I acknowledge this thought\") and how you feel about it (\"This thought makes me feel...\"), and then let it go (\"I let this thought go\").\n\nYou will likely have to continue to do this a few times after the initial time, because a hallmark of traumatic thoughts is that they become intrusive. So, each time a thought intrudes into your thinking, think to yourself, \"I acknowledge this thought and I let it go\".\n\n", "Don't try not to think about it! If it pops into your head just acknowledge it, don't try to fight it. Be fine with the idea that the thoughts will apear. Know that it's not really in your control if the thoughts appear or not.", "Best thing to do is to watch a touching and sensitive video. I recommend \"2 Girls, 1 Cup\". It is a quaint little piece about two girls playing around with a baby kitten. The kitten is so small and fluffy and loves playing around in the goblet. Its soooo cute!" ]

[ 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0 ]

[ "How to talk to roommate about his s/o staying over too much. To start, I'm the owner of the house. I rent a room out to a guy I work with that I knew decently well before. When we first moved into the house, we had a verbal agreement that neither of our girlfriends would stay over more than once or twice a week. \n\nThat was before he got her a job with us. Now, she's staying anywhere from 4-5 days a week.\n\nNow, I don't have any problems with her, or just the fact that she's here. It's the fact she's showering here, using the other utilities, not always cleaning up after herself (or him for that matter), etc. \n\nTo make the situation worse, I didn't realize before we moved in that my roommate is bipolar. He has really bad mood swings, and quite a bad temper sometimes. For example, I asked him to move his car out of the way since it was blocking mine in the garage. He threw a fit about it and hasn't talked to me in over a day because if it. \n\nDoes anyone have any advice of how I can talk to him? Anything would be helpful and appreciated. Thanks.", "How to talk to roommate about his s/o staying over too much. To start, I'm the owner of the house. I rent a room out to a guy I work with that I knew decently well before. When we first moved into the house, we had a verbal agreement that neither of our girlfriends would stay over more than once or twice a week. \n\nThat was before he got her a job with us. Now, she's staying anywhere from 4-5 days a week.\n\nNow, I don't have any problems with her, or just the fact that she's here. It's the fact she's showering here, using the other utilities, not always cleaning up after herself (or him for that matter), etc. \n\nTo make the situation worse, I didn't realize before we moved in that my roommate is bipolar. He has really bad mood swings, and quite a bad temper sometimes. For example, I asked him to move his car out of the way since it was blocking mine in the garage. He threw a fit about it and hasn't talked to me in over a day because if it. \n\nDoes anyone have any advice of how I can talk to him? Anything would be helpful and appreciated. Thanks.", "How to talk to roommate about his s/o staying over too much. To start, I'm the owner of the house. I rent a room out to a guy I work with that I knew decently well before. When we first moved into the house, we had a verbal agreement that neither of our girlfriends would stay over more than once or twice a week. \n\nThat was before he got her a job with us. Now, she's staying anywhere from 4-5 days a week.\n\nNow, I don't have any problems with her, or just the fact that she's here. It's the fact she's showering here, using the other utilities, not always cleaning up after herself (or him for that matter), etc. \n\nTo make the situation worse, I didn't realize before we moved in that my roommate is bipolar. He has really bad mood swings, and quite a bad temper sometimes. For example, I asked him to move his car out of the way since it was blocking mine in the garage. He threw a fit about it and hasn't talked to me in over a day because if it. \n\nDoes anyone have any advice of how I can talk to him? Anything would be helpful and appreciated. Thanks.", "How to talk to roommate about his s/o staying over too much. To start, I'm the owner of the house. I rent a room out to a guy I work with that I knew decently well before. When we first moved into the house, we had a verbal agreement that neither of our girlfriends would stay over more than once or twice a week. \n\nThat was before he got her a job with us. Now, she's staying anywhere from 4-5 days a week.\n\nNow, I don't have any problems with her, or just the fact that she's here. It's the fact she's showering here, using the other utilities, not always cleaning up after herself (or him for that matter), etc. \n\nTo make the situation worse, I didn't realize before we moved in that my roommate is bipolar. He has really bad mood swings, and quite a bad temper sometimes. For example, I asked him to move his car out of the way since it was blocking mine in the garage. He threw a fit about it and hasn't talked to me in over a day because if it. \n\nDoes anyone have any advice of how I can talk to him? Anything would be helpful and appreciated. Thanks.", "How to talk to roommate about his s/o staying over too much. To start, I'm the owner of the house. I rent a room out to a guy I work with that I knew decently well before. When we first moved into the house, we had a verbal agreement that neither of our girlfriends would stay over more than once or twice a week. \n\nThat was before he got her a job with us. Now, she's staying anywhere from 4-5 days a week.\n\nNow, I don't have any problems with her, or just the fact that she's here. It's the fact she's showering here, using the other utilities, not always cleaning up after herself (or him for that matter), etc. \n\nTo make the situation worse, I didn't realize before we moved in that my roommate is bipolar. He has really bad mood swings, and quite a bad temper sometimes. For example, I asked him to move his car out of the way since it was blocking mine in the garage. He threw a fit about it and hasn't talked to me in over a day because if it. \n\nDoes anyone have any advice of how I can talk to him? Anything would be helpful and appreciated. Thanks.", "How to talk to roommate about his s/o staying over too much. To start, I'm the owner of the house. I rent a room out to a guy I work with that I knew decently well before. When we first moved into the house, we had a verbal agreement that neither of our girlfriends would stay over more than once or twice a week. \n\nThat was before he got her a job with us. Now, she's staying anywhere from 4-5 days a week.\n\nNow, I don't have any problems with her, or just the fact that she's here. It's the fact she's showering here, using the other utilities, not always cleaning up after herself (or him for that matter), etc. \n\nTo make the situation worse, I didn't realize before we moved in that my roommate is bipolar. He has really bad mood swings, and quite a bad temper sometimes. For example, I asked him to move his car out of the way since it was blocking mine in the garage. He threw a fit about it and hasn't talked to me in over a day because if it. \n\nDoes anyone have any advice of how I can talk to him? Anything would be helpful and appreciated. Thanks.", "How to talk to roommate about his s/o staying over too much. To start, I'm the owner of the house. I rent a room out to a guy I work with that I knew decently well before. When we first moved into the house, we had a verbal agreement that neither of our girlfriends would stay over more than once or twice a week. \n\nThat was before he got her a job with us. Now, she's staying anywhere from 4-5 days a week.\n\nNow, I don't have any problems with her, or just the fact that she's here. It's the fact she's showering here, using the other utilities, not always cleaning up after herself (or him for that matter), etc. \n\nTo make the situation worse, I didn't realize before we moved in that my roommate is bipolar. He has really bad mood swings, and quite a bad temper sometimes. For example, I asked him to move his car out of the way since it was blocking mine in the garage. He threw a fit about it and hasn't talked to me in over a day because if it. \n\nDoes anyone have any advice of how I can talk to him? Anything would be helpful and appreciated. Thanks." ]

[ "\"Hey, I've noticed Girlfriend is staying over more than we agreed upon. I don't mind if she's hanging around here more because I have no problems with her. She is starting to utilize common spaces and utilities, though, almost as frequently as you and me. Do you think she'd be willing to contribute towards some household expenses like water and gas/electricity?\" If that answer is yes, great. Problem solved. If that answer is no, then \"Okay, then I think we need to go back down to having her stay once or twice each week.\" If that's a no, it may be time to issue a 30 day notice and follow through with eviction if necessary.", "OP, your roommate is either spoiled brat, narcissistic asshole or both. \n\nThat sort of selfish behaviour should be the last thing in his mind of you own the place.\n\nAnother problem seems to be that he is the dominant one in your household and you just give him what he wants.\n\n", "You work with this guy? You own the house, work alongside this guy and offered him somewhere to live? Do you see the problem? You've already blurred the lines between friend and landlord. You have two options, keep this 'friend' and let him keep using you as a doormat because you're a little bitch.. OR .. be a man and say, hey, I'm getting a bit fed up with it all. Your girl is here all the time and quite frankly even approaching you to ask simple things is turning into a drama. I don't think this is working. Do you want to try and fix it with me or do you want to just get your shit together now?", "I agree with Pahasapapapa and Bmison. It sucks you're in this situation, try to keep in mind he's the one who's put you in this position. You're worried about how this will affect him, but do think he gives a damn that you're stressing out asking Reddit for advice? Good luck ", "Sounds like he's taking advantage of the situation and of perhaps you being too much of a nice guy. I'd try talking to him sensibly, explaining the situation, and if he doesn't like it perhaps it's time you found a new house mate.", "I can't say for sure what may work but I don't think the guy would be intentionally want to cause you trouble. Just lay out your problems to him as calmly as possible and let him know it's not okay with you and something must be done about it. Do not get agitated if he does. Let him come to his conclusions after you have laid out the consequences to him.", "Do you really feel it's reasonable for an SO to be restricted to one or two days a week? You rather set up the problem there, and you were the one with the power in the relationship, so this one is on you.\n\nPeople have partners, and they tend to eventually spend effectively all nights together. That's the natural course of life." ]

[ 23, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 0 ]

[ "what should I hold onto as I grow older? I'm in my mid twenties now, and I moved out from my parents since I was 18.\n\n As can be expected, I have accumulated a fair bit of personal stuff over those years, and I struggle with what to keep and what to let go.\n\nTo give an example of what I mean, things like old postcards/birthday cards/letters from family members or old girlfriends, mementos and souvenirs. I have Polaroids from when I was a student and little trinkets and shit, or from holidays or major events. \n\nOn the one hand, I hear older people saying how they value that kind of stuff because it's a link to other parts of their life, but on the other hand I never look at any of it, I'm too busy and it sometimes seems like dead weight. I know my parents have drawersnof old photos but I don't know if they ever open them.\n\nSo I'd appreciate any advice from people a bit older regarding what things they are glad they kept/wish they kept, and what things they are glad they chucked?\n\nTldr: what sentimental items should I hold onto as I grow older?", "what should I hold onto as I grow older? I'm in my mid twenties now, and I moved out from my parents since I was 18.\n\n As can be expected, I have accumulated a fair bit of personal stuff over those years, and I struggle with what to keep and what to let go.\n\nTo give an example of what I mean, things like old postcards/birthday cards/letters from family members or old girlfriends, mementos and souvenirs. I have Polaroids from when I was a student and little trinkets and shit, or from holidays or major events. \n\nOn the one hand, I hear older people saying how they value that kind of stuff because it's a link to other parts of their life, but on the other hand I never look at any of it, I'm too busy and it sometimes seems like dead weight. I know my parents have drawersnof old photos but I don't know if they ever open them.\n\nSo I'd appreciate any advice from people a bit older regarding what things they are glad they kept/wish they kept, and what things they are glad they chucked?\n\nTldr: what sentimental items should I hold onto as I grow older?", "what should I hold onto as I grow older? I'm in my mid twenties now, and I moved out from my parents since I was 18.\n\n As can be expected, I have accumulated a fair bit of personal stuff over those years, and I struggle with what to keep and what to let go.\n\nTo give an example of what I mean, things like old postcards/birthday cards/letters from family members or old girlfriends, mementos and souvenirs. I have Polaroids from when I was a student and little trinkets and shit, or from holidays or major events. \n\nOn the one hand, I hear older people saying how they value that kind of stuff because it's a link to other parts of their life, but on the other hand I never look at any of it, I'm too busy and it sometimes seems like dead weight. I know my parents have drawersnof old photos but I don't know if they ever open them.\n\nSo I'd appreciate any advice from people a bit older regarding what things they are glad they kept/wish they kept, and what things they are glad they chucked?\n\nTldr: what sentimental items should I hold onto as I grow older?", "what should I hold onto as I grow older? I'm in my mid twenties now, and I moved out from my parents since I was 18.\n\n As can be expected, I have accumulated a fair bit of personal stuff over those years, and I struggle with what to keep and what to let go.\n\nTo give an example of what I mean, things like old postcards/birthday cards/letters from family members or old girlfriends, mementos and souvenirs. I have Polaroids from when I was a student and little trinkets and shit, or from holidays or major events. \n\nOn the one hand, I hear older people saying how they value that kind of stuff because it's a link to other parts of their life, but on the other hand I never look at any of it, I'm too busy and it sometimes seems like dead weight. I know my parents have drawersnof old photos but I don't know if they ever open them.\n\nSo I'd appreciate any advice from people a bit older regarding what things they are glad they kept/wish they kept, and what things they are glad they chucked?\n\nTldr: what sentimental items should I hold onto as I grow older?", "what should I hold onto as I grow older? I'm in my mid twenties now, and I moved out from my parents since I was 18.\n\n As can be expected, I have accumulated a fair bit of personal stuff over those years, and I struggle with what to keep and what to let go.\n\nTo give an example of what I mean, things like old postcards/birthday cards/letters from family members or old girlfriends, mementos and souvenirs. I have Polaroids from when I was a student and little trinkets and shit, or from holidays or major events. \n\nOn the one hand, I hear older people saying how they value that kind of stuff because it's a link to other parts of their life, but on the other hand I never look at any of it, I'm too busy and it sometimes seems like dead weight. I know my parents have drawersnof old photos but I don't know if they ever open them.\n\nSo I'd appreciate any advice from people a bit older regarding what things they are glad they kept/wish they kept, and what things they are glad they chucked?\n\nTldr: what sentimental items should I hold onto as I grow older?", "what should I hold onto as I grow older? I'm in my mid twenties now, and I moved out from my parents since I was 18.\n\n As can be expected, I have accumulated a fair bit of personal stuff over those years, and I struggle with what to keep and what to let go.\n\nTo give an example of what I mean, things like old postcards/birthday cards/letters from family members or old girlfriends, mementos and souvenirs. I have Polaroids from when I was a student and little trinkets and shit, or from holidays or major events. \n\nOn the one hand, I hear older people saying how they value that kind of stuff because it's a link to other parts of their life, but on the other hand I never look at any of it, I'm too busy and it sometimes seems like dead weight. I know my parents have drawersnof old photos but I don't know if they ever open them.\n\nSo I'd appreciate any advice from people a bit older regarding what things they are glad they kept/wish they kept, and what things they are glad they chucked?\n\nTldr: what sentimental items should I hold onto as I grow older?", "what should I hold onto as I grow older? I'm in my mid twenties now, and I moved out from my parents since I was 18.\n\n As can be expected, I have accumulated a fair bit of personal stuff over those years, and I struggle with what to keep and what to let go.\n\nTo give an example of what I mean, things like old postcards/birthday cards/letters from family members or old girlfriends, mementos and souvenirs. I have Polaroids from when I was a student and little trinkets and shit, or from holidays or major events. \n\nOn the one hand, I hear older people saying how they value that kind of stuff because it's a link to other parts of their life, but on the other hand I never look at any of it, I'm too busy and it sometimes seems like dead weight. I know my parents have drawersnof old photos but I don't know if they ever open them.\n\nSo I'd appreciate any advice from people a bit older regarding what things they are glad they kept/wish they kept, and what things they are glad they chucked?\n\nTldr: what sentimental items should I hold onto as I grow older?", "what should I hold onto as I grow older? I'm in my mid twenties now, and I moved out from my parents since I was 18.\n\n As can be expected, I have accumulated a fair bit of personal stuff over those years, and I struggle with what to keep and what to let go.\n\nTo give an example of what I mean, things like old postcards/birthday cards/letters from family members or old girlfriends, mementos and souvenirs. I have Polaroids from when I was a student and little trinkets and shit, or from holidays or major events. \n\nOn the one hand, I hear older people saying how they value that kind of stuff because it's a link to other parts of their life, but on the other hand I never look at any of it, I'm too busy and it sometimes seems like dead weight. I know my parents have drawersnof old photos but I don't know if they ever open them.\n\nSo I'd appreciate any advice from people a bit older regarding what things they are glad they kept/wish they kept, and what things they are glad they chucked?\n\nTldr: what sentimental items should I hold onto as I grow older?", "what should I hold onto as I grow older? I'm in my mid twenties now, and I moved out from my parents since I was 18.\n\n As can be expected, I have accumulated a fair bit of personal stuff over those years, and I struggle with what to keep and what to let go.\n\nTo give an example of what I mean, things like old postcards/birthday cards/letters from family members or old girlfriends, mementos and souvenirs. I have Polaroids from when I was a student and little trinkets and shit, or from holidays or major events. \n\nOn the one hand, I hear older people saying how they value that kind of stuff because it's a link to other parts of their life, but on the other hand I never look at any of it, I'm too busy and it sometimes seems like dead weight. I know my parents have drawersnof old photos but I don't know if they ever open them.\n\nSo I'd appreciate any advice from people a bit older regarding what things they are glad they kept/wish they kept, and what things they are glad they chucked?\n\nTldr: what sentimental items should I hold onto as I grow older?" ]

[ "There is no right answer, keep what feels special to you, take pictures of everything else and the memories will never die!", "I save all photos but only keep the cards to display for a year and then they get the boot. We did however take all of our wedding cards and put them into a big frame and hang it, looks pretty neat. Trinkets I usually store away and find later in life and end up throwing half or more out, only to keep the actual handmade or rare ones I have received.", "As someone who held on to too many things for too long, my advice is to scan or take pictures of many of your items and get rid of them. The sentimental part is where something brings back old memories that you normally don't think about. The pictures/scans will do the same but will not have the same burden (storage, moving, cleaning, organizing, etc) as the actual items.", "It's definitely a personal choice, but my experience has taught me to chuck anything unnecessary. My mother always had a room full of old stuff that while it was nice to go through once every year or so, seemed to me like a lot of unnecessary stuff.\n\nI'm 30 years old & since my parents kicked me out at 18 I've moved about 25 times. Throughout the moves I kept tossing things to make moving easier. Sure those moments of nostalgia are nice to have once in a while, but being the neat freak that I am, I like trying to live somewhat of a minimalist lifestyle because it's less to clean. \n\nTaking pictures on your phone wasn't as common 12 years ago when I first started moving so it wasn't an option for me, but it's sounds reasonable to take pictures of everything that you want but know you don't need so that you always have the memory but still have less stuff. ", "If your house was on fire, what is the ONE thing you would grab & run out the door with?\n\nI have ONE rubber box of stuff to grab that is above and beyond things that I need, which are backed up in photos/scans (like, videos/pics for insurance)...\nAnd, don't forget, digital is cheap. Even if you don't have online storage, email your photos/scans to yourself. You'll be able to access them anywhere.", "If you keep cards, letters and photographs, make sure they are neatly stored. Not in a big cluttered box, but organised by date in a folder that can go on a shelf. You could always take a digital copy of a lot of these items (the maybes and the just in cases) and dispose of the original. That is the key for all of it really, if you can store it neatly and conveniently then you may as well. As soon as you have overflowing drawers, get brutal and get rid. Otherwise you never look at any of it anyway. ", "I say hold on to it. You might not really care about that stuff at this moment in your life but its going to be something that you will treasure years down the road. This is going to be a way for your kids and grandkids to get to know you better. I say just buy one of those big tubs and fit the most important stuff into one our two of those and just hang on to it. My wife and I have really enjoyed getting to know our grandparents this way. You dont have to keep every little thing so maybe go through and choose the stuff that actually means something to you or describes who you were at that point in your life.\n\nHope that helps a little.", "I honestly don't keep much at all. I keep photos but I did throw away a bunch not too long ago because they were crap or didn't really depict anything special. I don't keep any cards unless they have a very significant message from the person that is hand written.\n\nBasically it needs to be a once in a lifetime thing that represents a very important moment in my life.\n\nI do keep financial records, school transcripts, etc.", "Anything that has sentimental value to you is worth holding on to. We can't tell you what is or isn't worth keeping, that's something you need to evaluate. As you grow older, on the one hand you should hold on to anything that you would want to share with your family and descendants and on the other hand, hold on to your significant other. :) " ]

[ 4, 3, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "What brand makes the best socks? All my socks get holes in them. It's obnoxious and I'm tired of buying new ones. What socks last the longest?", "What brand makes the best socks? All my socks get holes in them. It's obnoxious and I'm tired of buying new ones. What socks last the longest?" ]

[ "Over in r/buyitforlife they are big fans of Darn Tough. They apparently have great customer service, so if you get holes you can get them replaced. ", "Timberland.I've thrown away all other socks. Formerly quality socks are now garbage- for example No Nonsense, they're full of nonsense." ]

[ 4, 3 ]

[ "How to win student elections in uni I'm running against one person. I have more experience, having been in councils for the past three years. He has none. One problem: he knows a lot of people and due to covid I know few. Also, students probably don't care as much for choosing someone capable, in favour of someone they know.\n\nThere's one month left till the election. I'm not sure how to voting will be done exactly, but the voters have to be there in person. Most people I know don't have lectures that day, so unfortunately they won't be on campus to vote.", "How to win student elections in uni I'm running against one person. I have more experience, having been in councils for the past three years. He has none. One problem: he knows a lot of people and due to covid I know few. Also, students probably don't care as much for choosing someone capable, in favour of someone they know.\n\nThere's one month left till the election. I'm not sure how to voting will be done exactly, but the voters have to be there in person. Most people I know don't have lectures that day, so unfortunately they won't be on campus to vote.", "How to win student elections in uni I'm running against one person. I have more experience, having been in councils for the past three years. He has none. One problem: he knows a lot of people and due to covid I know few. Also, students probably don't care as much for choosing someone capable, in favour of someone they know.\n\nThere's one month left till the election. I'm not sure how to voting will be done exactly, but the voters have to be there in person. Most people I know don't have lectures that day, so unfortunately they won't be on campus to vote.", "How to win student elections in uni I'm running against one person. I have more experience, having been in councils for the past three years. He has none. One problem: he knows a lot of people and due to covid I know few. Also, students probably don't care as much for choosing someone capable, in favour of someone they know.\n\nThere's one month left till the election. I'm not sure how to voting will be done exactly, but the voters have to be there in person. Most people I know don't have lectures that day, so unfortunately they won't be on campus to vote.", "How to win student elections in uni I'm running against one person. I have more experience, having been in councils for the past three years. He has none. One problem: he knows a lot of people and due to covid I know few. Also, students probably don't care as much for choosing someone capable, in favour of someone they know.\n\nThere's one month left till the election. I'm not sure how to voting will be done exactly, but the voters have to be there in person. Most people I know don't have lectures that day, so unfortunately they won't be on campus to vote." ]

[ "Real answer: propose a debate. Win/win: either you win the debate with your experience, or you get to say your opponent was afraid to debate you.\n\nFun answer: be crazier than your opponent. https://youtu.be/sF1SbkjikKs", "In my junior year of highschool I ran for class president as a joke and when we did the answering questions in front of students thing I got asked \"If you could choose a song to describe America, what would you choose?\" And I sang Murder the Government by NOFX and won the election by a lot. Not sure if this helps but it's worth a shot", "Do your best to represent the real changes you'd like to see implemented. With speeches, the student newspaper, school radio program, and other student engaged media, always be ready to give your key message (if you can think of a clever slogan that isn't name based you get bonus points)\n\nMany schools have rules about signage, use those to your advantage. As you've pointed out, name recognition matters in elections.\n\nUse digital media. Short and sweet is best if you want to get attention. You don't have to be a silly person, but don't be overly serious/afraid... students (most anyways) want to relate to you.\n\nLastly, connect with club presidents and other organizations to see if they'll let you speak at their gatherings or if they'll endorse you.\n\nGood luck OP", "If your university has greek life I highly recommend reaching out to the Sororities and Fraternities. Some people overlook them but in reality they some of the most involved students at a school. Ask if you can speak at their next Chapter meetings and say a few words. Back when I was in uni we had a candidate bring in tshirts with her name on it and a few boxes of cookies from the grocery and that locked in all of our votes hahaha.", "Be extremely woke. Accuse your opponents of racism, sexism, fascism, transphobia... Don't be white, straight and/or male." ]

[ 12, 8, 4, 1, -1 ]

[ "Getting comfortable with Video calling, in both professional (interview) and personal (friends, families) capacities. I, as a person am, and always have been incredibly awkward on video chats - I have a lot of issues with my face, both in terms of frankly vain reasons and other more serious, OCPD driven reasons; and I avoid cameras, and photos, though I've made massive strides in that department over the last 5 years.\n\nBut what I haven't been able to work out is Video chatting. I know it sounds stupid but they make me extremely nervous, I over think a million things, and almost get panic attacks. How do I get comfortable with them now? On 2nd April I have an interview on Skype for a study consultancy &amp; they could help me with applying for grad school in the future, and I'm really nervous.\n\nWith my family at least there's more wiggle room but they're starting to get offended when their VCs are just me talking away from the phone with the camera pointed to the ceiling fan.\n\nTips please!", "Getting comfortable with Video calling, in both professional (interview) and personal (friends, families) capacities. I, as a person am, and always have been incredibly awkward on video chats - I have a lot of issues with my face, both in terms of frankly vain reasons and other more serious, OCPD driven reasons; and I avoid cameras, and photos, though I've made massive strides in that department over the last 5 years.\n\nBut what I haven't been able to work out is Video chatting. I know it sounds stupid but they make me extremely nervous, I over think a million things, and almost get panic attacks. How do I get comfortable with them now? On 2nd April I have an interview on Skype for a study consultancy &amp; they could help me with applying for grad school in the future, and I'm really nervous.\n\nWith my family at least there's more wiggle room but they're starting to get offended when their VCs are just me talking away from the phone with the camera pointed to the ceiling fan.\n\nTips please!" ]

[ "I'm not a doctor, but what I would do is start small and build your way up. I would look at the person on the other end and focus on them, rather than that picture-in-picture thing with your face in it", "I’m not an expert but here are some tips. \n\n1 set up a space. Nice clean backgroud away from noises and bright sunbeams in your eyes. Clean away dust and distractions. But you can have nice things behind your computer to help and keep focussed. Like a nice plant, or your favourite figurine or something. \n\n2 write shit down. It’s ok to look at notes i think. I usually write down my name and any important info on a sheet of paper before i need to make an important call. Keeps you focussed on the task. Might be helpful to write down why you’re having the interview. And to keep a pen handy. \n\n3. Have some water nearby. Taking a sip gives you time to think of answers if the answer doesn’t come to you straight away. Also water is good for you. \n\n4 wear comfy pants. If they can’t see your legs. It doesn’t mater what you’re wearing down below. Same with socks. You don’t wanna get cold feet halfway through. \n\n5. Remember, the people on the screen are just people. If they are good people they’ll understand nervousness and work with it. You’ll answer some things wrong, some things right. All of us do. And that’s fine. \n\nHope these are atleast a little bit helpful?" ]

[ 3, 2 ]

[ "Good substitute for a laptop's rubber feet? I'm talking about the little rubber pads on the bottom that keep it from sliding on a smooth surface. My laptop's battery serves as a built in riser to keep it from overheating on a flat surface, so raising my laptop up isn't my issue, jut the sliding. Also, what's a good way to keep them attached? Whenever one comes off, and I find it, I put it back on with superglue, but even that isn't permanent.", "Good substitute for a laptop's rubber feet? I'm talking about the little rubber pads on the bottom that keep it from sliding on a smooth surface. My laptop's battery serves as a built in riser to keep it from overheating on a flat surface, so raising my laptop up isn't my issue, jut the sliding. Also, what's a good way to keep them attached? Whenever one comes off, and I find it, I put it back on with superglue, but even that isn't permanent.", "Good substitute for a laptop's rubber feet? I'm talking about the little rubber pads on the bottom that keep it from sliding on a smooth surface. My laptop's battery serves as a built in riser to keep it from overheating on a flat surface, so raising my laptop up isn't my issue, jut the sliding. Also, what's a good way to keep them attached? Whenever one comes off, and I find it, I put it back on with superglue, but even that isn't permanent.", "Good substitute for a laptop's rubber feet? I'm talking about the little rubber pads on the bottom that keep it from sliding on a smooth surface. My laptop's battery serves as a built in riser to keep it from overheating on a flat surface, so raising my laptop up isn't my issue, jut the sliding. Also, what's a good way to keep them attached? Whenever one comes off, and I find it, I put it back on with superglue, but even that isn't permanent.", "Good substitute for a laptop's rubber feet? I'm talking about the little rubber pads on the bottom that keep it from sliding on a smooth surface. My laptop's battery serves as a built in riser to keep it from overheating on a flat surface, so raising my laptop up isn't my issue, jut the sliding. Also, what's a good way to keep them attached? Whenever one comes off, and I find it, I put it back on with superglue, but even that isn't permanent." ]

[ "You can just put little dabs of hot glue on the bottom. Make sure the glue is fully dry before putting the laptop down!", "Go to the hardware section of walmart and get a plastic epoxy. Use that instead of super glue to put the bumpers back on. ", "Before you apply superglue, clean both surfaces! There might be a slight film of oil on the rubber pad, so you're not gluing rubber to plastic, you're gluing oil to oil.\n\nUse a water/detergent mix, clean that with just water, and finally do a final pass with isopropyl alcohol. Let it dry completely.", "Hardware stores sell rubber feet/bumpers in various sizes. They also sell felt ones, which *may* be less likely to come off. (Rubber feet grip the table top, so if you tend to slide your laptop as you pick it up the adhesive is stressed. Felt feet slide, so they won't have this problem.)", "I ran into a similar problem the other day and just placed a dab of rubber cement where the foot once was. Once dry, it's just as tacky as the original feet, and it's fast! It's got the added benefit of being removable if you slip up, too." ]

[ 5, 5, 4, 3, 1 ]

[ "Best way to prepare for bed without stimulus In my house there are screens everywhere I look and I know that watching TV/using phone/working on computer is terrible to do just before going to bed. Is there any easy things to incorporate into my nightly ritual to lower the amount of stimulus I've got just before I go to bed?", "Best way to prepare for bed without stimulus In my house there are screens everywhere I look and I know that watching TV/using phone/working on computer is terrible to do just before going to bed. Is there any easy things to incorporate into my nightly ritual to lower the amount of stimulus I've got just before I go to bed?", "Best way to prepare for bed without stimulus In my house there are screens everywhere I look and I know that watching TV/using phone/working on computer is terrible to do just before going to bed. Is there any easy things to incorporate into my nightly ritual to lower the amount of stimulus I've got just before I go to bed?", "Best way to prepare for bed without stimulus In my house there are screens everywhere I look and I know that watching TV/using phone/working on computer is terrible to do just before going to bed. Is there any easy things to incorporate into my nightly ritual to lower the amount of stimulus I've got just before I go to bed?", "Best way to prepare for bed without stimulus In my house there are screens everywhere I look and I know that watching TV/using phone/working on computer is terrible to do just before going to bed. Is there any easy things to incorporate into my nightly ritual to lower the amount of stimulus I've got just before I go to bed?", "Best way to prepare for bed without stimulus In my house there are screens everywhere I look and I know that watching TV/using phone/working on computer is terrible to do just before going to bed. Is there any easy things to incorporate into my nightly ritual to lower the amount of stimulus I've got just before I go to bed?" ]

[ "Shut off all screens at least 30 minutes before bed. Resist the temptation to check messages or mail \"just once more\" before sleep. Invest in dimmer switches, and keep lights low during that last 30-60 minutes.\n\nBefore bed, I have a routine that I try to keep the same every night - I wash my face and brush my teeth and lay out my next day's clothes. Then I roll out my yoga mat and do 5-6 relaxing poses (you can Google \"bedtime yoga\" or \"sleep yoga\" for some suggestions) that help me release the day's tension by focusing my breathing. After that I put on lotion, pull my hair into a braid, and put on my \"deep sleep\" music, which uses binaural beats to relax the brain.\n\nIt's also best to go to bed and get up at the same time every day, regardless of day of week.", "If you're on Android, install Lux Dash to adjust your screen temperature. For laptops, f.lux is great too. \n\nIn your bedroom, block out any LEDs with electric tape (for white appliances, use black tape with white on top so it's completely blocked. \n\nFor your bathroom, install a dimmer switch and keep the light low at night. \n\nIf you read in bed, either use paper books or pick up a kindle. \n\nIf you have trouble sleeping, find some soft music to listen to while you lay down. I've got a song that puts me to sleep because I've essentially trained my brain over the course of a year. \n\nAnother good thing to do is breathing exercises. Touch the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth, just at the end of the ridges behind your teeth. Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 7 (or whatever is comfortable) and exhale through your mouth with a 'whoosh' for 8 seconds. The numbers aren't absolute - - go with whatever feels right. ", "I try to cut all screens off an hour before bedtime. Then I like to read and it gets me nice and relaxed.", "What helped me immensely is having a fan, ceiling or just a plug in. The noise is somehow peaceful and keeps me from thinking too much. Also it makes it cooler which always helps.", "For me, there's a law of diminishing return in avoiding screen before bed. It's impractical to sit int he dark twiddling my thumbs for half an hour before bed, and this actually gets my brain turning over a lot and make sleep more difficult. \n\nFor me, I just avoid using my phone and sitting at my computer. I also make sure the lights are out in my room after the sun sets to signal to my body it's night time. \n\nWhat works for me is, about 30 minutes before bed, sit and watch a TV show on a dimly-lit TV or Computer screen that's a good distance from my face. That seems to help.", "A big thing is to create a routine and stick to it. When I had bad sleep issues, this was the first thing I was told. There should be no electronic devices in your bedroom as it is meant only for sleep. You should be off electronics 30 minutes before bed. Reading a book is a great way to help prepare for bed. Many times I fall asleep reading. I have a kindle paper white. If you have to use a device to read before bed, choose one that is not backlit. Stay away from heavy meals and food before bed. During the week when it is crucial for me to get enough sleep, I don't eat after 8 and only drink water." ]

[ 3, 3, 3, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to pack cups when moving I'm moving at the end of the month and I have a ton of glassware. Any tips on packing it so it doesn't break during the move? ", "How to pack cups when moving I'm moving at the end of the month and I have a ton of glassware. Any tips on packing it so it doesn't break during the move? ", "How to pack cups when moving I'm moving at the end of the month and I have a ton of glassware. Any tips on packing it so it doesn't break during the move? ", "How to pack cups when moving I'm moving at the end of the month and I have a ton of glassware. Any tips on packing it so it doesn't break during the move? " ]

[ "Go to your local liquor store, they should have tons of empty boxes that are perfect for cups. Their boxes are super sturdy, and often come with a cardboard divider inside. Wrap each cup in newspaper and put them in the slots. You can usually get away with stacking cups on top of each other if you wrap them well enough too. I moved last week and it worked brilliantly for me.", "I just finished moving a few weeks ago. My advice is to first wrap the cups/bowls/glass in paper. If you have extra grocery bags (Wal-mart bags) use them for cushion around the cups. Bubble wrap is your friends and don't let them touch in the box. A sudden jolt will chip or shatter.", "Buy cheap plastic or styrofoam cups and put 1 as a divider between each cup. This also works wonderfully with paper or plastic plates...buy a giant stack at the dollar store and you're set!", "I stack about 4 of the stackable ones with a sheet of newspaper in the middle, then wrap the group in newspaper, and fit them together at the bottom of a short box. Fill in the gaps liberally with newspaper and lay a towel or some shirts on top before packing other stuff." ]

[ 32, 4, 3, 1 ]

[ "Get popcorn unstuck from teeth and gums I've got a bad one right now I love popcorn, but I get it stuck in my teeth and gums all the time. Anyone know of a quick/easy/effective method to get it out? Flossing/brushing don't always work.", "Get popcorn unstuck from teeth and gums I've got a bad one right now I love popcorn, but I get it stuck in my teeth and gums all the time. Anyone know of a quick/easy/effective method to get it out? Flossing/brushing don't always work.", "Get popcorn unstuck from teeth and gums I've got a bad one right now I love popcorn, but I get it stuck in my teeth and gums all the time. Anyone know of a quick/easy/effective method to get it out? Flossing/brushing don't always work.", "Get popcorn unstuck from teeth and gums I've got a bad one right now I love popcorn, but I get it stuck in my teeth and gums all the time. Anyone know of a quick/easy/effective method to get it out? Flossing/brushing don't always work.", "Get popcorn unstuck from teeth and gums I've got a bad one right now I love popcorn, but I get it stuck in my teeth and gums all the time. Anyone know of a quick/easy/effective method to get it out? Flossing/brushing don't always work." ]

[ "I just got one out with tweezers!! Sanitize them first and be gentle. Don't rub up against your gums or teeth; try to only touch the kernel. I rinsed with warm salt water after because that sounds smart too.", "Fished one out w/my fingernail today and thought, \"is it not a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt for so small a thing?\"", "Just chew gum. Picking at the kernels with a toothpick or with your fingernails is clumsy and frustrating.", "sugary gum (sticks to the shell), making sure to chew deeply and close to the gums, where the shell is.\n\nAlso, sometimes sucking your teeth with the shell between them gets the shell out.", "Use a tissue. Using a dry tissue, pinch the space between your teeth, and then pull. If it doesnt work, switch to a portion that you havent wet with your saliva, and try again." ]

[ 11, 3, 2, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to not care about what other people think? I know it seems basic. But, I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now. and I was just recently talking to my friend. and she helped me realize that I care too much about what people think of me. and I let it get me down, and stop me from doing things I want. \n\nAny tips to start getting myself to not care as much about it? Thanks!", "How to not care about what other people think? I know it seems basic. But, I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now. and I was just recently talking to my friend. and she helped me realize that I care too much about what people think of me. and I let it get me down, and stop me from doing things I want. \n\nAny tips to start getting myself to not care as much about it? Thanks!", "How to not care about what other people think? I know it seems basic. But, I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now. and I was just recently talking to my friend. and she helped me realize that I care too much about what people think of me. and I let it get me down, and stop me from doing things I want. \n\nAny tips to start getting myself to not care as much about it? Thanks!", "How to not care about what other people think? I know it seems basic. But, I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now. and I was just recently talking to my friend. and she helped me realize that I care too much about what people think of me. and I let it get me down, and stop me from doing things I want. \n\nAny tips to start getting myself to not care as much about it? Thanks!", "How to not care about what other people think? I know it seems basic. But, I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now. and I was just recently talking to my friend. and she helped me realize that I care too much about what people think of me. and I let it get me down, and stop me from doing things I want. \n\nAny tips to start getting myself to not care as much about it? Thanks!", "How to not care about what other people think? I know it seems basic. But, I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now. and I was just recently talking to my friend. and she helped me realize that I care too much about what people think of me. and I let it get me down, and stop me from doing things I want. \n\nAny tips to start getting myself to not care as much about it? Thanks!", "How to not care about what other people think? I know it seems basic. But, I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now. and I was just recently talking to my friend. and she helped me realize that I care too much about what people think of me. and I let it get me down, and stop me from doing things I want. \n\nAny tips to start getting myself to not care as much about it? Thanks!", "How to not care about what other people think? I know it seems basic. But, I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now. and I was just recently talking to my friend. and she helped me realize that I care too much about what people think of me. and I let it get me down, and stop me from doing things I want. \n\nAny tips to start getting myself to not care as much about it? Thanks!", "How to not care about what other people think? I know it seems basic. But, I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now. and I was just recently talking to my friend. and she helped me realize that I care too much about what people think of me. and I let it get me down, and stop me from doing things I want. \n\nAny tips to start getting myself to not care as much about it? Thanks!", "How to not care about what other people think? I know it seems basic. But, I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now. and I was just recently talking to my friend. and she helped me realize that I care too much about what people think of me. and I let it get me down, and stop me from doing things I want. \n\nAny tips to start getting myself to not care as much about it? Thanks!" ]

[ "Realize that random people don't think about you as often as you think they do. Fucked up a presentation? They won't remember it after a day. Probably even after an hour. Just think about it, do YOU constantly think about your friends embarrassing moments? No, and neither do the people who know you. \n\nYou should stop caring what others think about you, because other people don't think about you. You're worrying over nothing. \n\nAct normal in all circumstances, regardless of who is listening or watching you.", "Realize that at the end of life, our lives don't matter. In the end game, nothing we do will matter.\n\nRealize the same is said for those people. If their lives don't matter, why should the opinion", "Being prepared makes you confident, being confident makes you not care about other's opinions of you. \n\nSpend time each day doing one small thing related to something that interests you, or related to an assignment/project you're on. Not only will being productive make you feel good, but others will notice you becoming better at it and re-enforce it.", "Do you still live with your parents? Are they or were they quite strict and controlling? Or do you have a partner who is? I was a nervous wreck growing up and painfully shy, was terrified of strangers (of any age) or doing anything in front of people (even eating). It was because my parents - mum in particular - were incredibly strict and old fashioned and constantly criticized everything i did. Nothing was ever good enough. It was only when I left home & went out into the big wide world that I realized other people were generally much kinder and far more accepting. I met many people who actually took me seriously and valued my time and opinions. It was a great confidence booster! Age helps too, older I get less I care what people think. ", "*Who are you? Why should I think about you? I don't know you. -walk away-* This is what people do. Who cares about you. You can relax now. ", "This is going to be slightly controversial, so if you get offended or triggered easily, stop reading now. \n\n>But, I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now.\n\nFirst, you have to stop making excuses for yourself that you have problems because you have convinced yourself that you have these. Your problem of caring what other people think of you goes much deeper. \n\nIm going out on a limb here, but I am willing to bet that you don't have the kind of depression or anxiety that really hinders you in day to day life. While there are multitude of forms of those on the spectrum, the true debilitating depression is where you are completely numb to any outside stimulus, and the fact that you are actually wanting to change by asking this question is indicative that you are not. Same thing with anxiety - if you have friends and can talk to friends, means you don't really have crippling anxiety. \n\nSo if its not the debilitating cases, then you basically start to venture into this gray area where you think you are depressed, but in reality you are just bored, and you may think you have anxiety, but in reality you are just nervous and risk averse. Those two conditions are shared by most every human on earth. \n\nThe problem though is that humans really are good at finding optimal ways of doing things, even with thought patterns. On one hand, you have the option to put in the required work to get yourself out of a funky mood. On the other hand, you know of depression and anxiety, and you know that they are legit medical terms, and you associate yourself with these as an explanation for why your behavior is a certain way. And everything makes sense in your mind with this simple realization that took no work. \n\nBut you have cornered yourself into the thought pattern to the point where you legitimately may be giving yourself some depression or anxiety over time because you so strongly believe you have them. And now you are experiencing the negatives of that pattern and seeking to put bandaids on the problems that you are having, like with other people, and not addressing the root cause. \n\nOn a side note, human tendency to place implicit trust into the medical profession is actually quite strong. [This](http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/placebos-work-even-when-you-know-they-are-placebos/) is a study where the patients were specifically told they would be given fake drugs, and that the placebo effect would help them get better, and their belief in the effect was so strong that they actually did get better. So its not that farfetched to think that you aren't susceptible to the exact same thing with you believing in the medical definition of depression and adopting a binary thinking that you have it, and further driving yourself into the same symptoms. \n\nSo what does that mean in respect to you? Well, you have stop finding excuses for yourself plain and simple. Realize that you are in a current situation because of your own inactions, and now you basically formed an addition to your depression and anxiety as an excuse for those inactions. Even if you do legitimately have depression or anxiety, you need to proactively take care of those with behavioral therapy and/or medication. \n\nThink of it this way - when you see a successful person, you may think, damn, he really worked hard and is in a good place in his life. But to him, even though all logic dictates that he is in a good place, its still not enough - he is still not fully happy with himself because he can do better. And that is EXACTLY what makes him successful. \n\nSo you have to adopt the same attitude of betterment. Realize that feeling shitty or being afraid of something won't kill you, and then you have to actively start forcing yourself to make your life better by focusing on things that improve your life. \n\n And yes, its going to suck and be super hard mentally, but the discomfort that you feel is your mind breaking out of its mold, so it means its working. And you should seek more of that out rather than reverting to the safety bubble that you want to get out of it. Ive been through times in my life where I so actively didn't want to do shit that I needed to do that I pretty much ended up screaming into a pillow and just punching shit, but in the end, the only thing that matters is that you do it, no matter what outcome it is. Because every time you do something, the next time its going to be slightly easier, and over time, you are strengthening your mental state, which will in turn make you less susceptible to the negatives and will make you happier. \n\nFor example\n\n* giving up video games, tv shows, drugs, in favor of exercise. Yes, you are going to feel like shit, but logically you know its not going to kill you, and its good for you, and discomfort just means that something about you is changing\n\n* going out and socializing. Embarrassment is not going to kill you. Talking to random strangers is not going to kill you. Again, any discomfort you feel means its working. \n\n* learning new things. Pick something you have been interested in and get good at it. And again failure means its working. The thing that matters is not whether you fail or not, but your willingness to continue after you fail. \n\nDo this enough and pretty soon, all your problems will seem to be a thing of the past because you are looking towards the possibilities in the future that you can do. \n\nHonestly, the most stable emotionally I have ever been is when I worked 5 jobs one summer to make money for college without having any time for myself during the weekdays or the weekends. I always had something to do in the near future and my mind was constantly on that, and nothing really bothered me. ", "Think about that guy with the weird haircut you saw 2 days ago. Remember him? Probably not. That's about as much thought other people give to you on a regular basis. ", "Lots of \"Realize xyz\" advice here. These things are true, but you need to actually train your brain to think in these ways habitually, or you're going to swing back and forth arguing with yourself. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) helps, or if you aren't working with a professional (although if you ate struggling with anxiety and depression, I hope you will consider it because it's SUPER helpful), start some kind of mindfulness practice that involves objectively looking at what you're thinking. Whether that's m", "Lay down in an unusual place for 30 seconds, in public. It looks crazy, but by the time the 30 seconds have passed you'll have realized no one cared about what you were doing. Seen a TedTalk video about it.", "Fail miserably in a very public way. Then, you'll have no doubt that everyone hates you and like magic, it just won't matter anymore." ]

[ 8, 7, 5, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0 ]

[ "How do I organize my nuts, bolts, washers and screws? I'm going to be moving soon, and as I was going through my tools and parts, I realized I have a *lot* of nuts and bolts and washers and whatnot. I don't want to throw them all away, but I'm at a loss as to how to organize them and move them. Is there a good way to do it, or should I just sell them at the moving sale and start over?", "How do I organize my nuts, bolts, washers and screws? I'm going to be moving soon, and as I was going through my tools and parts, I realized I have a *lot* of nuts and bolts and washers and whatnot. I don't want to throw them all away, but I'm at a loss as to how to organize them and move them. Is there a good way to do it, or should I just sell them at the moving sale and start over?", "How do I organize my nuts, bolts, washers and screws? I'm going to be moving soon, and as I was going through my tools and parts, I realized I have a *lot* of nuts and bolts and washers and whatnot. I don't want to throw them all away, but I'm at a loss as to how to organize them and move them. Is there a good way to do it, or should I just sell them at the moving sale and start over?", "How do I organize my nuts, bolts, washers and screws? I'm going to be moving soon, and as I was going through my tools and parts, I realized I have a *lot* of nuts and bolts and washers and whatnot. I don't want to throw them all away, but I'm at a loss as to how to organize them and move them. Is there a good way to do it, or should I just sell them at the moving sale and start over?", "How do I organize my nuts, bolts, washers and screws? I'm going to be moving soon, and as I was going through my tools and parts, I realized I have a *lot* of nuts and bolts and washers and whatnot. I don't want to throw them all away, but I'm at a loss as to how to organize them and move them. Is there a good way to do it, or should I just sell them at the moving sale and start over?", "How do I organize my nuts, bolts, washers and screws? I'm going to be moving soon, and as I was going through my tools and parts, I realized I have a *lot* of nuts and bolts and washers and whatnot. I don't want to throw them all away, but I'm at a loss as to how to organize them and move them. Is there a good way to do it, or should I just sell them at the moving sale and start over?" ]

[ "Babyfood jars.\n\nBolt the lids to the underside of one of your workshelves, and you can fill the jars with whatever, and simply screw the jar back onto its lid. Presto, it's hanging nicely out of the way, and you can easily see what's inside.\n\nThen when it's time to move, you can unbolt the lids if you feel the need, and just put the jars in a box with padding.", "Sort them by size or whatever quickly into pickle jars. When you move, you can screw the lids into the underside of a workbench and then twist the jars onto the lids\n.", "I sort everything into zip-loc (snack, sadwich, quart, gallon) baggies. Then toss those into a [plastic case](http://www.tapplastics.com/uploads/products/Plastic_Tradesman_Case-xl.jpg).\n\nI can carry it to where I need to use them and it's pretty easy to paw through and find what I want.\n\nJars are heavy and sorting boxes and bins are never the right size (too small or too large for the little things).", "Superglue the lids of mason jars to the bottoms side of shelves, put the shit in the jar then screw it to the lid. You can easily see what your looking for with no guess work, and it will free up space storing them in an otherwise unoccupiable location. You can find jars from 2 inches tall to humongous. ", "Plastic peanut butter/mayo jars and a sorting table. \nI drop all of my little metal bits into the same jars. When I want somethign (a keychain ring, a bolt, a screw, a washer, a snap, whatever) I dump the jar on a tray, get what I want, and then dump the stuff back in the jar. Way easier than actually organizing all of those little bits. \n", "I use organizers like these:\n\nhttp://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=nuts%20bolt%20organizer" ]

[ 6, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1 ]

[ "How to heat up your hands quickly after being outside So i'm a college student in the midwest and after being outside for even a marginal amount of time, my hands end up freezing for 15-20 minutes after I return to my dorm. Does reddit know any ways to warm up my hands quickly?", "How to heat up your hands quickly after being outside So i'm a college student in the midwest and after being outside for even a marginal amount of time, my hands end up freezing for 15-20 minutes after I return to my dorm. Does reddit know any ways to warm up my hands quickly?", "How to heat up your hands quickly after being outside So i'm a college student in the midwest and after being outside for even a marginal amount of time, my hands end up freezing for 15-20 minutes after I return to my dorm. Does reddit know any ways to warm up my hands quickly?", "How to heat up your hands quickly after being outside So i'm a college student in the midwest and after being outside for even a marginal amount of time, my hands end up freezing for 15-20 minutes after I return to my dorm. Does reddit know any ways to warm up my hands quickly?", "How to heat up your hands quickly after being outside So i'm a college student in the midwest and after being outside for even a marginal amount of time, my hands end up freezing for 15-20 minutes after I return to my dorm. Does reddit know any ways to warm up my hands quickly?", "How to heat up your hands quickly after being outside So i'm a college student in the midwest and after being outside for even a marginal amount of time, my hands end up freezing for 15-20 minutes after I return to my dorm. Does reddit know any ways to warm up my hands quickly?", "How to heat up your hands quickly after being outside So i'm a college student in the midwest and after being outside for even a marginal amount of time, my hands end up freezing for 15-20 minutes after I return to my dorm. Does reddit know any ways to warm up my hands quickly?" ]

[ "The warmest part of your body is your torso. I'm not joking just put your hands in your pants, doesn't have to be under your underwear but place your hands right below your stomach, they'll warm up fast. ", "My work requires me to be in and around refrigeration a lot. I usually soak my hands in warm water till they feel better then dry them really well. Warning though if done a lot it will dry your hands out so use dat lotion. ", "Hothands work wonders,i work outside all the time and i use the crap out of those plus they last a while.hot feet work pretty good also.and they are small enough that u can carry a bunch at a time", "Wiggle your fingers back and forth for a few minutes, this will restore the blood flow. Or run warm water over your wrists.", "There's an artery in your armpits, making them warm. Cross your arms across your chest and hold your hands under your armpits for a minute. ", "Get yourself a cloth bag (about the size of a gallon ziploc bag works well) fill it about 2/3 full with rice (not minute rice) & sew the open end closed. When you come in with cold hands, pop it in the microwave for 30 to 45 seconds. Viola, great hand warmer. Also works well for stiff neck & body aches.\n", "Place your hand under shirt and touch your shoulder/chest or if your by yourself put it inside pants and touch your thighs. Just make sure skin to skin contact. Trust me the rest of your body is really warm" ]

[ 5, 5, 4, 2, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "Training your brain to stop leaving stuff all around your house/apartment I have a bad habit of leaving things out after using them - clothes, paper, wrappers of all sorts.\n\n\nStuff then rapidly piles up all around the place and cleaning turns into this massive task instead of just being a maintenance once a week thing.\n\nI can trace the problem to me purposefully not putting back whatever I take out. \n\nHow can I train myself to make it a habit to do otherwise?", "Training your brain to stop leaving stuff all around your house/apartment I have a bad habit of leaving things out after using them - clothes, paper, wrappers of all sorts.\n\n\nStuff then rapidly piles up all around the place and cleaning turns into this massive task instead of just being a maintenance once a week thing.\n\nI can trace the problem to me purposefully not putting back whatever I take out. \n\nHow can I train myself to make it a habit to do otherwise?", "Training your brain to stop leaving stuff all around your house/apartment I have a bad habit of leaving things out after using them - clothes, paper, wrappers of all sorts.\n\n\nStuff then rapidly piles up all around the place and cleaning turns into this massive task instead of just being a maintenance once a week thing.\n\nI can trace the problem to me purposefully not putting back whatever I take out. \n\nHow can I train myself to make it a habit to do otherwise?", "Training your brain to stop leaving stuff all around your house/apartment I have a bad habit of leaving things out after using them - clothes, paper, wrappers of all sorts.\n\n\nStuff then rapidly piles up all around the place and cleaning turns into this massive task instead of just being a maintenance once a week thing.\n\nI can trace the problem to me purposefully not putting back whatever I take out. \n\nHow can I train myself to make it a habit to do otherwise?", "Training your brain to stop leaving stuff all around your house/apartment I have a bad habit of leaving things out after using them - clothes, paper, wrappers of all sorts.\n\n\nStuff then rapidly piles up all around the place and cleaning turns into this massive task instead of just being a maintenance once a week thing.\n\nI can trace the problem to me purposefully not putting back whatever I take out. \n\nHow can I train myself to make it a habit to do otherwise?", "Training your brain to stop leaving stuff all around your house/apartment I have a bad habit of leaving things out after using them - clothes, paper, wrappers of all sorts.\n\n\nStuff then rapidly piles up all around the place and cleaning turns into this massive task instead of just being a maintenance once a week thing.\n\nI can trace the problem to me purposefully not putting back whatever I take out. \n\nHow can I train myself to make it a habit to do otherwise?", "Training your brain to stop leaving stuff all around your house/apartment I have a bad habit of leaving things out after using them - clothes, paper, wrappers of all sorts.\n\n\nStuff then rapidly piles up all around the place and cleaning turns into this massive task instead of just being a maintenance once a week thing.\n\nI can trace the problem to me purposefully not putting back whatever I take out. \n\nHow can I train myself to make it a habit to do otherwise?", "Training your brain to stop leaving stuff all around your house/apartment I have a bad habit of leaving things out after using them - clothes, paper, wrappers of all sorts.\n\n\nStuff then rapidly piles up all around the place and cleaning turns into this massive task instead of just being a maintenance once a week thing.\n\nI can trace the problem to me purposefully not putting back whatever I take out. \n\nHow can I train myself to make it a habit to do otherwise?", "Training your brain to stop leaving stuff all around your house/apartment I have a bad habit of leaving things out after using them - clothes, paper, wrappers of all sorts.\n\n\nStuff then rapidly piles up all around the place and cleaning turns into this massive task instead of just being a maintenance once a week thing.\n\nI can trace the problem to me purposefully not putting back whatever I take out. \n\nHow can I train myself to make it a habit to do otherwise?", "Training your brain to stop leaving stuff all around your house/apartment I have a bad habit of leaving things out after using them - clothes, paper, wrappers of all sorts.\n\n\nStuff then rapidly piles up all around the place and cleaning turns into this massive task instead of just being a maintenance once a week thing.\n\nI can trace the problem to me purposefully not putting back whatever I take out. \n\nHow can I train myself to make it a habit to do otherwise?" ]

[ "\"Don't put it down, put it away.\" I repeated this in my head as I was doing tasks, and then slowly got to where I just said it when I was actively \"putting something down\", and now I just remind myself every once in a while.\n\n\"Do it for your future self.\" Is also good. Also remind yourself to NOT just doing it \"in a bit\" or \"after this video/game/other task\" just do it now and you won't have to worry about it because it's done.", "I saw an old lpt that has helped me with this. If you're gonna go into another room just bring an item or 2 with you that needs to go into that room", "I had this problem. Lived alone most of my life. Clean. Dedicate Sundays as tradition (Latino), put some music on and clean. Throw stuff out. Old clothes. Learn to live with less. With your kitchen, learn to cook and clean at same time so no mess and do not relax without cleaning the kitchen and out away your clothes. Then and only then can u relax for a TV show or sit down. Repeat daily as a discipline.", "I used to be like you. I was really bad at organizing. I think this is the only way to try not to push back something to clean. And I don't buy much things because it eventually becomes burdens for me to organize. And I throw stuff that I don't use away. My English isn't good. There might be mistakes, pelase being understand.", "I'm not a neat person, so I have had to learn. But there are 3 types of cleaning. \n\n1. Tidying which is when things are out and you need to put them out of sight.\n\n2. Organizing/declutter\n\n3. Actual cleaning.\n\nYou should only do 1 at a time. So if you have stuff on the counter but need to clean counter. Just move the stuff quickly in a laundry basket or drawers and clean counter.\n\nUsually, if you are leaving things around that means it doesn't have a home. Find a home for the object and you're more likely to put it away then leave it out. Usually the place you would look for it is a good home.\n\nHave a junk draw for every room in your house. Then things that don't have a home can just go in there until you do organizing/decluttering. Also, it can help if you need to pick up for a guest.\n\nAlso, I found that having some non negotiatables help. Non-negotiables are what you do every day. Washing dishes, putting away dishes, wiping kitchen sink, and counters are good ones. I also try to sweep or vacuum (robot vacuum counts). If you have to wipe counters and sweep/vacuum then you kinda have to pick up to get things out of the way. ", "First clean up everything from top to bottom. Take even a whole day if necessary. Then make it your goal to always leave it that way as soon as you have no need of the stuff you took out.\nSame for your car, a complete clean up and then throw away the smallest garbage you notice (receipts, candy wraps, empty water bottles) every single time. It's the small gestures that count...", "do the habit regularly with another habit (habit stacking) you like or that is very similar this way you don't have to go out of your way to do the thing you want. if the habit doesn't build (habits take three weeks) keep trying it with another habit until you don't think about it to do it (muscle memory.", "I had to learn to be more organised, and I always, always put things back where they belong immediately. Saying 'I'll do it later' often doesn't work because you'll forget/get distracted. The other reason I put things back where they go is because I have watched a family member waste literally dozens of hours trying to find stuff because they just leave stuff anywhere. A friend also has a sign on the wall in his house that says: 'Do It Today- Now!' which he finds helpful.", "I changed my life with the “might as well” method. Basically whenever you’re going from one room to another grab something and put it away since you’re going there anyway. Like I’m going to get a snack might as well put this bowl in the sink etc. Seriously has changed everything", "Honestly it's just a case of doing the thing while you're there. If something needs to go in the kitchen, don't put down, just take it.\n\nI have a mini rule for myself that jobs that only take a couple of minutes get done straight away." ]

[ 12, 7, 6, 5, 3, 3, 2, 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "Quieting a noisy neighbour My upstairs neighbour sings all day long (and loudly), how do I get her to STFU without causing issues?", "Quieting a noisy neighbour My upstairs neighbour sings all day long (and loudly), how do I get her to STFU without causing issues?", "Quieting a noisy neighbour My upstairs neighbour sings all day long (and loudly), how do I get her to STFU without causing issues?" ]

[ "Ugh. Our neighbor plays some manner of destructive video game – we just hear massive explosions all evening. Super annoying, but never late into the night so I can't complain TOO much. ", "Start learning to play the saxophone and wait till your door gets knocked and say I'll make a deal I'll stfu if you stfu. ", "I would confront them politely and let them know how you feel. If no progress is made, look into affordable insulation or a new neighbour." ]

[ 5, 3, 2 ]

[ "How do I properly adjust my glasses nose pads so they are more comfortable and don't hurt by the end of the day. ", "How do I properly adjust my glasses nose pads so they are more comfortable and don't hurt by the end of the day. " ]

[ "Get the optometrist to do it. If they break when you move them, , yours SOL. Plus they know what they doin!", "You optometrist should do this for you free of charge usually! They know what they’re doing and have machines to warm up the material of the glasses so they can adjust it to your face without breaking!" ]

[ 2, 1 ]

[ "How to stop hair fall? I have jet-black hair. Atleast 100 hairs falls off my head daily. How to stop hair fall? Any oil, remedies?", "How to stop hair fall? I have jet-black hair. Atleast 100 hairs falls off my head daily. How to stop hair fall? Any oil, remedies?", "How to stop hair fall? I have jet-black hair. Atleast 100 hairs falls off my head daily. How to stop hair fall? Any oil, remedies?" ]

[ "People shed. Maybe brush your hair more and it'll come out in the brush.\n\nIf it's coming out in handfulls, see a doctor immediately. ", "My eye doctor recommended biotin supplements to help my eyelashes grow ( there's nothing medically wrong with me, and I can't shell out big bucks for Latisse). I've noticed that my hair (also jet black and mid-back length) does fall out a bit less. Also, when you have dark hair, I think you tend to notice it falling out more than you would with fine, blonde hair. Hope this helps :)", "100 hairs a day is the actual average. Even if it does start to fall heavy, there's not a lot you can do about it if you already have healthy hair. I would recommend, to anyone, not using shampoo and conditioner for six weeks and see the difference it makes when your scalp can regulate the amount of oil you hair has naturally. Please note that this will look greasy at times until you reach six weeks as the scalp is used to compensating for hair that is regularly washed of it's own natural oils." ]

[ 2, 2, 1 ]

[ "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. ", "how to get something out of your eye Every now and again, ill get a peice of dirt or dust in my eye. Just one little speck of something lodged up under my eyelid. Minor irritation ensues. \nTugging on my eyelids while looking up and down doesnt help. " ]

[ "If it is something that is on the top eyelid, or something that I can *get* to the top eyelid, I will pull the top eyelid over the bottom one, so that the bottom eyelashes remove the object. Works really well.\n\nHere's a short how-to:\n\n1. With your eye open, grab the eyelashes from the top eyelid\n2. Pull the top eyelid outwards, away from your face\n3. Close your eye and pull the top eyelid downwards, towards your chin\n4. Release the top eyelid, repeat if necessary", "DO NOT RUB YOUR EYE!!! this can cause the object to scratch your eye and it will feel like it's stuck in there for hours, even after you get it out. A trick I've always learned is to hold your bottom and top eyelid open with your fingers and blink constantly. You may look stupid, but it always works.", " Blink. Repeatedly and quickly. This will cause your eyes to water a little bit, which flushes out contaminates trapped in the eye lid. ", "For me, rubbing makes it worse as it causes the dirt to scratch your eye and make it worse. I pour a bit of water into my eye and blink excessively. If there's a water bubbler nearby I splash that over my eye until it's gone. No soap or any form of chemicals as they will irritate it even more.", "I get a clean shot glass, fill with tepid water, put against my eye and move my eyeball around in it. People seem to think this is weird though. ", "Fill your cupped hands with water, submerge your eyes only into previously cupped hands filled with water. Blink a couple times while submerged. done.", "what's always worked for me is closing the eye with something in it for 60 seconds. it has never not worked for me", "Was having extremely bad irritation, nonstop eye watering for 5 hrs this morning idk how i got something in my eye in my sleep but tried flushing it and running a wet q tip under my upper eyelid and was about to go to urgent care.. tried this and on the 2nd attempt got it out and now my eyes clesring up. Thank you so much you saved me a lot of suffering and money!!", "Just had something stuck on my upper lid for an hour! So thought I’d share how I got it out as I was reading this thread for tips. Sat in the shower and pulled my upper eye lid with my eyelashes so it was sticking out then stuck the running shower straight in my eye. Came right out!", "If you are around other people ask if anyone wears contacts and use a bit of saline solution to flush out your eye", "This is what I do with non metal. Take a soda bottle cap. Fill the cap with water. Put the cap over your eye so the water is touching your eye. Tilt your head back and blink. This usually flushes everything out pretty well.", "Take a semi-full, standard water bottle, lid off, use your fingers to spread open your eye lids and put your eye over the opening. Squeeze! Repeat as needed. ", "I tend to always get an eyelash in my eye... Before I used to just rub my eye until the eyelash came out. Yeah, that's NOT a good idea. Don't do it. \n\nI know they advise you to never stick your finger in your eye, but I do this. Differently. Before I insert my finger into my eye, I make sure I pour a whole lot of water on it and then I gently place the tip of my finger onto the eyelash that is in my eye. It usually comes out. This way, my eye doesn't get red and there's no irritation. It's always worked for me. ", "I find that rolling your eyes works anything under the eyelid out. If you rub your eye/ eyelid you risk smearing whatever is in there, and then the extraction becomes more difficult.", "Either I'll use my thumb-knuckle/joint to get it out or I'll pull the bottom eyelid down with one hand, cup my other hand from my mouth to my eye, then blow so the air gets redirected back into the eye. Sometimes it'll blow it out, sometimes it won't. ", "I bet they could make a product for this. Some sort of solution for your eyes. You could apply it with a dropper. We can call it *Eye Drops*…oh, wait. Never mind." ]

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[ "How to fix a stutter? I am a 21M and have had a stutter for as long as I can remember. It happens mostly when people are expecting me to speak such as when someone asks me a question or I get their attention to tell them something.", "How to fix a stutter? I am a 21M and have had a stutter for as long as I can remember. It happens mostly when people are expecting me to speak such as when someone asks me a question or I get their attention to tell them something.", "How to fix a stutter? I am a 21M and have had a stutter for as long as I can remember. It happens mostly when people are expecting me to speak such as when someone asks me a question or I get their attention to tell them something.", "How to fix a stutter? I am a 21M and have had a stutter for as long as I can remember. It happens mostly when people are expecting me to speak such as when someone asks me a question or I get their attention to tell them something.", "How to fix a stutter? I am a 21M and have had a stutter for as long as I can remember. It happens mostly when people are expecting me to speak such as when someone asks me a question or I get their attention to tell them something.", "How to fix a stutter? I am a 21M and have had a stutter for as long as I can remember. It happens mostly when people are expecting me to speak such as when someone asks me a question or I get their attention to tell them something." ]

[ "You could pull a Sammy L and every time you feel a stutter coming on, just start screaming motherfucker.\n\n", "A classmate of mine had a severe stutter since he moved to my school, similar to your situation he stumbled and hard to catch his word to tongue. Ever since he started going to a therapy/ support group his stutter was completely gone, friends started to see videos of him during the sessions and It was amazing to see the difference. Maybe you should try and look into finding a support centre or a therapy group for yourself. Good luck =]", "I used to stutter. I sometimes still do for no reason, what I found helps me is to slow it way down and think about everything I am about to say. Take a breath if you need to and then just go for it. It's not going to get better in a day but if you keep working on it consciously, it's gonna work out for you. Sometimes I stutter and I just own up to it and laugh at myself and turn it into a joke. \"Oh man that was a bad one and came out of nowhere.\" ", "I used to stutter all my childhood. The only reason it went away was because I made some new good friends and gained a ton of confidence in 11th grade. My issue was purely psychological. Try to involve yourself in things you're good at, interested in. Look for ways to boost your self confidence. Trust me, that will work. \n\nIn the meantime, short term fix, right before you utter a sentence, swallow your saliva. Or carry a bottle of water with you, and take a sip right before you say a sentence. Or turn away and look back at the person and start talking suddenly. If you keep thinking about talking, you get nervous. It's like looking down and then suddenly looking up for the camera. Be spontaneous, and don't overthink the fact that you need to talk. \n\nI always used to have trouble with words starting with vowels. Pick your confident letters. I always used to try to start sentences with S, T, R etc. \n\nHope this helps. I know how frustrating it can be. Good luck. \n", "I have a problem like that. My brain works super fast and has the words ready but my mouth kind of jumbles it up. Just slow down, relax, and speak clearly. For me I stutter when I don't have confidence, I just stay confident and chill. No stutter.", " Serious, how do you prefer someone react when you stutter? I work with someone that 'stutters' and I let him finish what he is saying but it is it rude to respond once I know what he is saying?" ]

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