Datasets:

---

innovation-hacking2

/

shitposting_dataset3

like 0

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious..." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly..." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing...." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum.." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some...." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!", ">\n\nThe number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising\nThis is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!", ">\n\nThe number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising\nThis is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead", ">\n\nAnyone notice the Twitter feed just ends now before you could keep scrolling non stop. Huge bummer that Twitter is so clunky now even the trending page use to give little blurbs of what each trending topic was about now that’s gone too." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!", ">\n\nThe number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising\nThis is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead", ">\n\nAnyone notice the Twitter feed just ends now before you could keep scrolling non stop. Huge bummer that Twitter is so clunky now even the trending page use to give little blurbs of what each trending topic was about now that’s gone too.", ">\n\nWhen Twitter is understaffed way below minimum things will eventually start go wrong. This will be one of many outage that will now become the new \"feature\" of Twitter." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!", ">\n\nThe number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising\nThis is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead", ">\n\nAnyone notice the Twitter feed just ends now before you could keep scrolling non stop. Huge bummer that Twitter is so clunky now even the trending page use to give little blurbs of what each trending topic was about now that’s gone too.", ">\n\nWhen Twitter is understaffed way below minimum things will eventually start go wrong. This will be one of many outage that will now become the new \"feature\" of Twitter.", ">\n\nThe Twitter Song!\n(🍌to the tune of 'The Banana Song' by Harry Belafonte🍌)\nLAAAAAY-OHH! LAAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OOOOH!!!\nLayoff come and we got to go home.\nWork for fascist billionaire!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nThinks Twitter code come from thin air!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nNetwork not going to run itself!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHope you have some little elfs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nCut 6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\n6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me Nazis!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me N-words!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nLAAAAAY-OH! LAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OHHH!!!...\nLayoff coooome and we got to go hoooome." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!", ">\n\nThe number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising\nThis is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead", ">\n\nAnyone notice the Twitter feed just ends now before you could keep scrolling non stop. Huge bummer that Twitter is so clunky now even the trending page use to give little blurbs of what each trending topic was about now that’s gone too.", ">\n\nWhen Twitter is understaffed way below minimum things will eventually start go wrong. This will be one of many outage that will now become the new \"feature\" of Twitter.", ">\n\nThe Twitter Song!\n(🍌to the tune of 'The Banana Song' by Harry Belafonte🍌)\nLAAAAAY-OHH! LAAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OOOOH!!!\nLayoff come and we got to go home.\nWork for fascist billionaire!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nThinks Twitter code come from thin air!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nNetwork not going to run itself!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHope you have some little elfs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nCut 6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\n6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me Nazis!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me N-words!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nLAAAAAY-OH! LAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OHHH!!!...\nLayoff coooome and we got to go hoooome.", ">\n\nI owe someone some fake internet points because I said it would have been at this point at the 3rd week after takeover. They said it would be wildly profitable by then, so I guess we both lost." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!", ">\n\nThe number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising\nThis is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead", ">\n\nAnyone notice the Twitter feed just ends now before you could keep scrolling non stop. Huge bummer that Twitter is so clunky now even the trending page use to give little blurbs of what each trending topic was about now that’s gone too.", ">\n\nWhen Twitter is understaffed way below minimum things will eventually start go wrong. This will be one of many outage that will now become the new \"feature\" of Twitter.", ">\n\nThe Twitter Song!\n(🍌to the tune of 'The Banana Song' by Harry Belafonte🍌)\nLAAAAAY-OHH! LAAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OOOOH!!!\nLayoff come and we got to go home.\nWork for fascist billionaire!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nThinks Twitter code come from thin air!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nNetwork not going to run itself!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHope you have some little elfs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nCut 6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\n6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me Nazis!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me N-words!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nLAAAAAY-OH! LAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OHHH!!!...\nLayoff coooome and we got to go hoooome.", ">\n\nI owe someone some fake internet points because I said it would have been at this point at the 3rd week after takeover. They said it would be wildly profitable by then, so I guess we both lost.", ">\n\nbring back the fail whale!" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!", ">\n\nThe number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising\nThis is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead", ">\n\nAnyone notice the Twitter feed just ends now before you could keep scrolling non stop. Huge bummer that Twitter is so clunky now even the trending page use to give little blurbs of what each trending topic was about now that’s gone too.", ">\n\nWhen Twitter is understaffed way below minimum things will eventually start go wrong. This will be one of many outage that will now become the new \"feature\" of Twitter.", ">\n\nThe Twitter Song!\n(🍌to the tune of 'The Banana Song' by Harry Belafonte🍌)\nLAAAAAY-OHH! LAAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OOOOH!!!\nLayoff come and we got to go home.\nWork for fascist billionaire!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nThinks Twitter code come from thin air!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nNetwork not going to run itself!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHope you have some little elfs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nCut 6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\n6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me Nazis!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me N-words!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nLAAAAAY-OH! LAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OHHH!!!...\nLayoff coooome and we got to go hoooome.", ">\n\nI owe someone some fake internet points because I said it would have been at this point at the 3rd week after takeover. They said it would be wildly profitable by then, so I guess we both lost.", ">\n\nbring back the fail whale!", ">\n\nHe never left. He's still the owner." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!", ">\n\nThe number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising\nThis is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead", ">\n\nAnyone notice the Twitter feed just ends now before you could keep scrolling non stop. Huge bummer that Twitter is so clunky now even the trending page use to give little blurbs of what each trending topic was about now that’s gone too.", ">\n\nWhen Twitter is understaffed way below minimum things will eventually start go wrong. This will be one of many outage that will now become the new \"feature\" of Twitter.", ">\n\nThe Twitter Song!\n(🍌to the tune of 'The Banana Song' by Harry Belafonte🍌)\nLAAAAAY-OHH! LAAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OOOOH!!!\nLayoff come and we got to go home.\nWork for fascist billionaire!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nThinks Twitter code come from thin air!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nNetwork not going to run itself!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHope you have some little elfs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nCut 6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\n6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me Nazis!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me N-words!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nLAAAAAY-OH! LAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OHHH!!!...\nLayoff coooome and we got to go hoooome.", ">\n\nI owe someone some fake internet points because I said it would have been at this point at the 3rd week after takeover. They said it would be wildly profitable by then, so I guess we both lost.", ">\n\nbring back the fail whale!", ">\n\nHe never left. He's still the owner.", ">\n\nThe end for Twitter, it seems, may have arrived. Not with a bang, but a whimper." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!", ">\n\nThe number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising\nThis is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead", ">\n\nAnyone notice the Twitter feed just ends now before you could keep scrolling non stop. Huge bummer that Twitter is so clunky now even the trending page use to give little blurbs of what each trending topic was about now that’s gone too.", ">\n\nWhen Twitter is understaffed way below minimum things will eventually start go wrong. This will be one of many outage that will now become the new \"feature\" of Twitter.", ">\n\nThe Twitter Song!\n(🍌to the tune of 'The Banana Song' by Harry Belafonte🍌)\nLAAAAAY-OHH! LAAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OOOOH!!!\nLayoff come and we got to go home.\nWork for fascist billionaire!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nThinks Twitter code come from thin air!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nNetwork not going to run itself!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHope you have some little elfs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nCut 6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\n6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me Nazis!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me N-words!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nLAAAAAY-OH! LAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OHHH!!!...\nLayoff coooome and we got to go hoooome.", ">\n\nI owe someone some fake internet points because I said it would have been at this point at the 3rd week after takeover. They said it would be wildly profitable by then, so I guess we both lost.", ">\n\nbring back the fail whale!", ">\n\nHe never left. He's still the owner.", ">\n\nThe end for Twitter, it seems, may have arrived. Not with a bang, but a whimper.", ">\n\nNgl this is a bang as you'll ever see one for the end of a company" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!", ">\n\nThe number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising\nThis is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead", ">\n\nAnyone notice the Twitter feed just ends now before you could keep scrolling non stop. Huge bummer that Twitter is so clunky now even the trending page use to give little blurbs of what each trending topic was about now that’s gone too.", ">\n\nWhen Twitter is understaffed way below minimum things will eventually start go wrong. This will be one of many outage that will now become the new \"feature\" of Twitter.", ">\n\nThe Twitter Song!\n(🍌to the tune of 'The Banana Song' by Harry Belafonte🍌)\nLAAAAAY-OHH! LAAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OOOOH!!!\nLayoff come and we got to go home.\nWork for fascist billionaire!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nThinks Twitter code come from thin air!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nNetwork not going to run itself!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHope you have some little elfs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nCut 6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\n6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me Nazis!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me N-words!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nLAAAAAY-OH! LAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OHHH!!!...\nLayoff coooome and we got to go hoooome.", ">\n\nI owe someone some fake internet points because I said it would have been at this point at the 3rd week after takeover. They said it would be wildly profitable by then, so I guess we both lost.", ">\n\nbring back the fail whale!", ">\n\nHe never left. He's still the owner.", ">\n\nThe end for Twitter, it seems, may have arrived. Not with a bang, but a whimper.", ">\n\nNgl this is a bang as you'll ever see one for the end of a company", ">\n\nPretty much the only way to beat it is outright criminal activity, such as Enron, FTX, or Theranos" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!", ">\n\nThe number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising\nThis is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead", ">\n\nAnyone notice the Twitter feed just ends now before you could keep scrolling non stop. Huge bummer that Twitter is so clunky now even the trending page use to give little blurbs of what each trending topic was about now that’s gone too.", ">\n\nWhen Twitter is understaffed way below minimum things will eventually start go wrong. This will be one of many outage that will now become the new \"feature\" of Twitter.", ">\n\nThe Twitter Song!\n(🍌to the tune of 'The Banana Song' by Harry Belafonte🍌)\nLAAAAAY-OHH! LAAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OOOOH!!!\nLayoff come and we got to go home.\nWork for fascist billionaire!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nThinks Twitter code come from thin air!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nNetwork not going to run itself!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHope you have some little elfs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nCut 6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\n6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me Nazis!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me N-words!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nLAAAAAY-OH! LAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OHHH!!!...\nLayoff coooome and we got to go hoooome.", ">\n\nI owe someone some fake internet points because I said it would have been at this point at the 3rd week after takeover. They said it would be wildly profitable by then, so I guess we both lost.", ">\n\nbring back the fail whale!", ">\n\nHe never left. He's still the owner.", ">\n\nThe end for Twitter, it seems, may have arrived. Not with a bang, but a whimper.", ">\n\nNgl this is a bang as you'll ever see one for the end of a company", ">\n\nPretty much the only way to beat it is outright criminal activity, such as Enron, FTX, or Theranos", ">\n\nGonna go down when those certs expire lol" ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!", ">\n\nThe number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising\nThis is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead", ">\n\nAnyone notice the Twitter feed just ends now before you could keep scrolling non stop. Huge bummer that Twitter is so clunky now even the trending page use to give little blurbs of what each trending topic was about now that’s gone too.", ">\n\nWhen Twitter is understaffed way below minimum things will eventually start go wrong. This will be one of many outage that will now become the new \"feature\" of Twitter.", ">\n\nThe Twitter Song!\n(🍌to the tune of 'The Banana Song' by Harry Belafonte🍌)\nLAAAAAY-OHH! LAAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OOOOH!!!\nLayoff come and we got to go home.\nWork for fascist billionaire!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nThinks Twitter code come from thin air!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nNetwork not going to run itself!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHope you have some little elfs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nCut 6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\n6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me Nazis!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me N-words!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nLAAAAAY-OH! LAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OHHH!!!...\nLayoff coooome and we got to go hoooome.", ">\n\nI owe someone some fake internet points because I said it would have been at this point at the 3rd week after takeover. They said it would be wildly profitable by then, so I guess we both lost.", ">\n\nbring back the fail whale!", ">\n\nHe never left. He's still the owner.", ">\n\nThe end for Twitter, it seems, may have arrived. Not with a bang, but a whimper.", ">\n\nNgl this is a bang as you'll ever see one for the end of a company", ">\n\nPretty much the only way to beat it is outright criminal activity, such as Enron, FTX, or Theranos", ">\n\nGonna go down when those certs expire lol", ">\n\nCan't wait for their domains to expire and get registered by someone else." ]

[ "This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine.", ">\n\n\"I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!\"\ntwo hours later\n\"S e T ngs a e f ne!\"", ">\n\nSo, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...\nI was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers. Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off. And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...\nYou'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character. And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying. I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...\nI'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea. I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform! This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make. Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...\nI'm going to need to be really drunk for this one...", ">\n\nWell they are doing database sharding...", ">\n\nProbably. But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.\nFor one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies. Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.\nIt also just like, logically makes no sense. Which is why I want to do it lol", ">\n\nAh, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.\nIt would be a type of efficiency I guess.", ">\n\nThat's true. The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though. E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right. It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.\nBut that wouldn't be funny. So I'm definitely not going to do that lol\nAlthough I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways. I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though. I don't think I can host that many databases. I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.\nThe university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often. I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again. What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still. I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol", ">\n\nThis is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :)", ">\n\nIt definitely could be. But not for me. I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work. \nFor one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one. Which is a terrible way to start lol\nAnd then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem. I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.\nThat and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol\nBut with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out. Really anyone who's also into stupid projects. There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.\n\nI've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started. I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful. That portion isn't looking good, sadly. I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.\nI'm going to rethink how I can scale this out... My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database. Because that concept is still really funny to me.", ">\n\nElon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0.", ">\n\nSoon to be RAID -1.", ">\n\nHa! How bout RAID √-1", ">\n\nBut did you consider RAID Shadow Legends?", ">\n\n\nThe cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.\n\nFollowed immediately by:\n\nTwitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates.", ">\n\nCorrelation is not causation!\n...but maybe this time.", ">\n\nOccam's Razor", ">\n\nI tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler.", ">\n\nAhh, Occam's Trimmer.", ">\n\nOccam’s Manscaped", ">\n\nuse promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order!", ">\n\nDo they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs...", ">\n\nSure! They're pink and cost an extra $5.", ">\n\nThis muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and \"omg nothing happened, this is easy\" last week, so this seems about right.", ">\n\n\"Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!\"", ">\n\nI worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers, because \"things just worked\". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings.", ">\n\nSo I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice.", ">\n\nI had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious...", ">\n\nOh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.\nI hear you.", ">\n\nThat sounds ripe for malicious compliance.", ">\n\n\nAdded note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry.", ">\n\nHey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again?", ">\n\nIf he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.", ">\n\nElon has never turned on anything in his life.", ">\n\nAbsolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on.", ">\n\nI can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene.", ">\n\nI'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, \"Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on.\"", ">\n\n“The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”\nYeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it?", ">\n\nLegitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud.", ">\n\nElon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long.", ">\n\nGood developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. \nThat being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo.", ">\n\nthe resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...\nThe web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off.", ">\n\nIf you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground.", ">\n\nBut the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter. I can wear it under my jacket now!", ">\n\nEverybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder", ">\n\nIt’s like cow tipping. On three!", ">\n\nA lot easier to take down a website than a cow.", ">\n\nThis was predicted in the first wave of \"you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe\" mass-firings.\nFucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'.", ">\n\nI mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly...", ">\n\nPrecisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper.", ">\n\nWho would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches?", ">\n\nAndrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.\nShe’s destroyed the space along with the person!", ">\n\noh? What'd Greta say?", ">\n\nTate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.\nShe responded by saying her email is [email protected]\nEdit:wording", ">\n\nthen he went on a rant video saying \"see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong\" \ncause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is \"But trans people\" \nas he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol", ">\n\nHe's rubber, she's glue.", ">\n\nBoing fwip", ">\n\nI thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet?", ">\n\nYou could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. \nAs soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. \nWouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it.", ">\n\nNot to mention different legal compliance concerns…", ">\n\nIf you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?\n^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes)", ">\n\nThere’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate", ">\n\nThis is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery.", ">\n\nMatlock could do it.", ">\n\nColumbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone.", ">\n\nGrew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. \nCan you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..\n Just one more thing....", ">\n\nLol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. \nDespite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams.", ">\n\nElon Musk is really killing Twitter.", ">\n\nIt was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness", ">\n\nZero is an even number.", ">\n\nIs it? I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember. It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.\nQuick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this!", ">\n\nThis was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit.", ">\n\nThat's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone.", ">\n\nI'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!\nI'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol)", ">\n\nLol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave.", ">\n\nDid the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. \n“Twitter no longer has a communications team” \nOMEGALUL", ">\n\nEvery article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate.", ">\n\n\nMusk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site\n\nFollowed by:\n\nTwitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from\n\nGenius", ">\n\nAh, the ol \"Works for me\" excuse.", ">\n\nElon: What is this \"load balancer\"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it.", ">\n\nAlso turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite?", ">\n\nIndividual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site.", ">\n\nI keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting", ">\n\nPlease Harambe, let this be the beginning", ">\n\nMy company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months", ">\n\nThey're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...\nSaved a lot of money on bucket rentals though.", ">\n\nwait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification.", ">\n\ngracias, oh simian spirit", ">\n\nPeace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures.", ">\n\nPerhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. \nHave fun saving money with half a website.", ">\n\nAh yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk.", ">\n\nShocking... Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone.", ">\n\nI guess he finally unplugged something that mattered.", ">\n\nTwitter going down the shitter.", ">\n\nAll around the world, Twitter's glitching for me", ">\n\nWho knows, what Elon, is thinking", ">\n\nElon is thinking it works on his end just fine.", ">\n\nTeslas still on the road", ">\n\nThe memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.\nHere’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary manbaby tantrum..", ">\n\nhe's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.\nAnd the sycophants are praising him.\nMeanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell.", ">\n\nWhen I refresh the For You (without logging in), \"Twitter Down\" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine.", ">\n\nElon, taking down twitter and tesla. Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses.", ">\n\nAt least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse.", ">\n\nMy coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. \nSystem is working great", ">\n\nWeird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be!", ">\n\nIt's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient", ">\n\nObviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.\nWheel in some more cots", ">\n\nIt basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. \nThat is some good development there, someone should hire them guys!", ">\n\nI rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂", ">\n\nOhhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some....", ">\n\nWait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move?", ">\n\nWell, I'm shocked. I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in. Shocking!!", ">\n\nThe number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising\nThis is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead", ">\n\nAnyone notice the Twitter feed just ends now before you could keep scrolling non stop. Huge bummer that Twitter is so clunky now even the trending page use to give little blurbs of what each trending topic was about now that’s gone too.", ">\n\nWhen Twitter is understaffed way below minimum things will eventually start go wrong. This will be one of many outage that will now become the new \"feature\" of Twitter.", ">\n\nThe Twitter Song!\n(🍌to the tune of 'The Banana Song' by Harry Belafonte🍌)\nLAAAAAY-OHH! LAAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OOOOH!!!\nLayoff come and we got to go home.\nWork for fascist billionaire!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nThinks Twitter code come from thin air!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nNetwork not going to run itself!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHope you have some little elfs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nCut 6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\n6K, 7K, 8K jobs!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me Nazis!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nHey, Moderation Man! Tally up me N-words!\n(Layoff come and we got to go home)\nLAAAAAY-OH! LAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OHHH!!!...\nLayoff coooome and we got to go hoooome.", ">\n\nI owe someone some fake internet points because I said it would have been at this point at the 3rd week after takeover. They said it would be wildly profitable by then, so I guess we both lost.", ">\n\nbring back the fail whale!", ">\n\nHe never left. He's still the owner.", ">\n\nThe end for Twitter, it seems, may have arrived. Not with a bang, but a whimper.", ">\n\nNgl this is a bang as you'll ever see one for the end of a company", ">\n\nPretty much the only way to beat it is outright criminal activity, such as Enron, FTX, or Theranos", ">\n\nGonna go down when those certs expire lol", ">\n\nCan't wait for their domains to expire and get registered by someone else.", ">\n\npretty soon a glitch will be a vulnerability" ]