Datasets:

---

innovation-hacking2

/

shitposting_dataset3

like 0

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\"." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏", ">\n\nAnother reason not to have kids. I love positive reinforcement on that decision." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏", ">\n\nAnother reason not to have kids. I love positive reinforcement on that decision.", ">\n\nI have younger siblings so I can understand that early on, and it makes me not want children" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏", ">\n\nAnother reason not to have kids. I love positive reinforcement on that decision.", ">\n\nI have younger siblings so I can understand that early on, and it makes me not want children", ">\n\nLast night I had a dream where I fingered my wife then had a Pokémon battle." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏", ">\n\nAnother reason not to have kids. I love positive reinforcement on that decision.", ">\n\nI have younger siblings so I can understand that early on, and it makes me not want children", ">\n\nLast night I had a dream where I fingered my wife then had a Pokémon battle.", ">\n\nI had the same dream!" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏", ">\n\nAnother reason not to have kids. I love positive reinforcement on that decision.", ">\n\nI have younger siblings so I can understand that early on, and it makes me not want children", ">\n\nLast night I had a dream where I fingered my wife then had a Pokémon battle.", ">\n\nI had the same dream!", ">\n\nYep. Would've been nice to know that ahead of time. No one tells you." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏", ">\n\nAnother reason not to have kids. I love positive reinforcement on that decision.", ">\n\nI have younger siblings so I can understand that early on, and it makes me not want children", ">\n\nLast night I had a dream where I fingered my wife then had a Pokémon battle.", ">\n\nI had the same dream!", ">\n\nYep. Would've been nice to know that ahead of time. No one tells you.", ">\n\nThere are so many other nightmares that also involve not losing your kid" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏", ">\n\nAnother reason not to have kids. I love positive reinforcement on that decision.", ">\n\nI have younger siblings so I can understand that early on, and it makes me not want children", ">\n\nLast night I had a dream where I fingered my wife then had a Pokémon battle.", ">\n\nI had the same dream!", ">\n\nYep. Would've been nice to know that ahead of time. No one tells you.", ">\n\nThere are so many other nightmares that also involve not losing your kid", ">\n\nThis is painfully true. Driving anywhere with my kids is automatically more stressful than driving by myself, simply because I cannot trust other drivers with their safety." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏", ">\n\nAnother reason not to have kids. I love positive reinforcement on that decision.", ">\n\nI have younger siblings so I can understand that early on, and it makes me not want children", ">\n\nLast night I had a dream where I fingered my wife then had a Pokémon battle.", ">\n\nI had the same dream!", ">\n\nYep. Would've been nice to know that ahead of time. No one tells you.", ">\n\nThere are so many other nightmares that also involve not losing your kid", ">\n\nThis is painfully true. Driving anywhere with my kids is automatically more stressful than driving by myself, simply because I cannot trust other drivers with their safety.", ">\n\nOne of the main reasons why I won't have kids. I have enough anxiety as it is, worrying about anything happening to your kid would put me over the edge" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏", ">\n\nAnother reason not to have kids. I love positive reinforcement on that decision.", ">\n\nI have younger siblings so I can understand that early on, and it makes me not want children", ">\n\nLast night I had a dream where I fingered my wife then had a Pokémon battle.", ">\n\nI had the same dream!", ">\n\nYep. Would've been nice to know that ahead of time. No one tells you.", ">\n\nThere are so many other nightmares that also involve not losing your kid", ">\n\nThis is painfully true. Driving anywhere with my kids is automatically more stressful than driving by myself, simply because I cannot trust other drivers with their safety.", ">\n\nOne of the main reasons why I won't have kids. I have enough anxiety as it is, worrying about anything happening to your kid would put me over the edge", ">\n\nYou could ramp up my anxiety a thousand times until it became utterly crippling and I still wouldn't trade relief for my son." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏", ">\n\nAnother reason not to have kids. I love positive reinforcement on that decision.", ">\n\nI have younger siblings so I can understand that early on, and it makes me not want children", ">\n\nLast night I had a dream where I fingered my wife then had a Pokémon battle.", ">\n\nI had the same dream!", ">\n\nYep. Would've been nice to know that ahead of time. No one tells you.", ">\n\nThere are so many other nightmares that also involve not losing your kid", ">\n\nThis is painfully true. Driving anywhere with my kids is automatically more stressful than driving by myself, simply because I cannot trust other drivers with their safety.", ">\n\nOne of the main reasons why I won't have kids. I have enough anxiety as it is, worrying about anything happening to your kid would put me over the edge", ">\n\nYou could ramp up my anxiety a thousand times until it became utterly crippling and I still wouldn't trade relief for my son.", ">\n\nSo true. So much hits different including movies, books, music, stories from other people, stuff that never bothered you before suddenly really does." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏", ">\n\nAnother reason not to have kids. I love positive reinforcement on that decision.", ">\n\nI have younger siblings so I can understand that early on, and it makes me not want children", ">\n\nLast night I had a dream where I fingered my wife then had a Pokémon battle.", ">\n\nI had the same dream!", ">\n\nYep. Would've been nice to know that ahead of time. No one tells you.", ">\n\nThere are so many other nightmares that also involve not losing your kid", ">\n\nThis is painfully true. Driving anywhere with my kids is automatically more stressful than driving by myself, simply because I cannot trust other drivers with their safety.", ">\n\nOne of the main reasons why I won't have kids. I have enough anxiety as it is, worrying about anything happening to your kid would put me over the edge", ">\n\nYou could ramp up my anxiety a thousand times until it became utterly crippling and I still wouldn't trade relief for my son.", ">\n\nSo true. So much hits different including movies, books, music, stories from other people, stuff that never bothered you before suddenly really does.", ">\n\nSo original, this sub is a joke. Amazing new and improved shower thoughts\nWhy don’t you let actual original thoughts get posted?" ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏", ">\n\nAnother reason not to have kids. I love positive reinforcement on that decision.", ">\n\nI have younger siblings so I can understand that early on, and it makes me not want children", ">\n\nLast night I had a dream where I fingered my wife then had a Pokémon battle.", ">\n\nI had the same dream!", ">\n\nYep. Would've been nice to know that ahead of time. No one tells you.", ">\n\nThere are so many other nightmares that also involve not losing your kid", ">\n\nThis is painfully true. Driving anywhere with my kids is automatically more stressful than driving by myself, simply because I cannot trust other drivers with their safety.", ">\n\nOne of the main reasons why I won't have kids. I have enough anxiety as it is, worrying about anything happening to your kid would put me over the edge", ">\n\nYou could ramp up my anxiety a thousand times until it became utterly crippling and I still wouldn't trade relief for my son.", ">\n\nSo true. So much hits different including movies, books, music, stories from other people, stuff that never bothered you before suddenly really does.", ">\n\nSo original, this sub is a joke. Amazing new and improved shower thoughts\nWhy don’t you let actual original thoughts get posted?", ">\n\nI had these nightmares when I got dogs but not so much since I've had kids. Yet..." ]

[ "This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.\nRemember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not \"thoughts had in the shower!\"\n(For an explanation of what a \"showerthought\" is, please read this page.)\nRule-breaking posts may result in bans.", ">\n\nEvery time I take a shower I hear the faint sound of my kids crying for help. They are fine ...but my brain loves to convince itself the sounds in the walls and pipes are my kids in danger when I'm in vulnerable places.\nEdit I am curious how many males experience this. I hear this happens a lot with mothers but as a dad myself, I hear this all the time. My wife no longer hears it but with kids at 12/6 I occasionally hear \"daaaad\" or \"hellllp\" or I am convinced I heard a window break or something broke and I have to get out and check it out.", ">\n\nPhantom cries while in the shower are so bizarre.", ">\n\nWhat that's a thing? ಠ_ಠ", ">\n\nMy kid is a year and a half old and it's much less common now, but yes. I will occasionally hear him cry while in the shower even when I have his monitor right there and he's asleep.", ">\n\nThe baby monitor is just something additional to obsess over. Especially when they're lying still, then you gotta go wake them up because they're too still.", ">\n\nNah, you go over there, stare for a minute to verify they're breathing normally, then creep away. \nThen you hear sounds and accidentally wake them up while they're doing their active sleeping. \nIt's a vicious cycle of self inflicted sleep deprivation.", ">\n\nJust fixate your gaze on a spot on whatever is covering them. It's going to move as they breathe. Hopefully.", ">\n\nWe use a patterned swaddle so that it's a tiny bit easier to see the movement. But man, you really can go nuts with the fear.", ">\n\nThree weeks ago we felt a bump on my 11 month old daughter's belly, so we had it checked by the pediatrician just to be safe. Now she's scheduled for her second round of chemo next week, 2 days before her 1st birthday. So yeah, that's a fresh new layer of hell we weren't prepared for.", ">\n\nIt's a horrible age to be hooked up to IV lines. The constant care taking is rough.", ">\n\nTo add to all that, she has a twin brother as well. That's a lot of logistics to keep on top of, and we were already stretched thin before all this came down.", ">\n\nGoing to the park? Be paranoid that someone is following you to snatch your child?\nGoing to Target? Be paranoid that your child will walk out the doors with a stranger when your back is turned. \nDriving by yourself to your best friend's house for a much needed girl's night? Panic about a semi hitting you head on and you dying and your kid has to grow up without you.", ">\n\nDon't forget all the potential diseases!", ">\n\nWe mask and are vaccinated. He's a covid toddler. He's been obsessed with washing his hands since he could run.", ">\n\nSo he will not develop any natural immunity to anything. Nice.", ">\n\n^ Conservatives when they're told to wash their hands", ">\n\n\"I won't be clean and you can't make me\"", ">\n\nshits in own hand and eats it, to own the libs", ">\n\nMy son is almost 7. These have not subsided. Every phase of his life they just morph and grow. When he was <3 I had a fear of returning the shopping cart in the space NEXT TO MY CAR because I was sure someone was going to drive off and he was too little to verbalize it.\nIt never gets easier.", ">\n\nMy son is 22 and I still get them. Even more once he got a car and became more independent.", ">\n\nMy 'children' are 26 and 19 and I still get anxiety when they are out of contact for a while. I know it is irrational but it is not something I can just turn off... I do not let my anxiety interfere with their lives and just keep it to myself, but I definitely breathe a sigh of releif when they get back.", ">\n\nI can be weeks without contacting my parents and I live 2h drive away. Your comment made me think that maybe I should call them more often.", ">\n\nI have OCD and my intrusive thoughts were always my family dying in a fiery car crash. After I had my son it’s just intrusive thoughts of him trapped in his car seat on fire. My OCD was under control, I had a few clocks in my house, it was all fine. After I had my son I went back to a clock on every single wall in every single room. I can see the time no matter where I am. I have my watch, my phone, a pocket watch, and another wrist watch that I keep with me when I leave the house. My van clocks are programmed. The places I spend a lot of time outside my house have the time properly programmed. Gotta keep him safe from dying in a fiery car crash.", ">\n\nThese things related, or just the ol' OCD \"as long as I know what time it is, no car crashes\"?", ">\n\nThis is actual OCD, unlike those people who claim they like their pencils straight on their desk which has nothing to do with it.\nQuite a common one is intrusive commands or thoughts in which if you don't complete them correctly, you think something bad may happen. Perhaps a bit like being really superstitious but to such a degree you're doing silly things as a result.\nSo OP here seems to have internal demands to know the time, otherwise the car incident may become a reality. When of course the real reality is it won't make any difference whatsoever, but testing that theory means chancing the incident. (OP, it won't happen, you'll be fine)", ">\n\nGood bot", ">\n\nI mean, it is really just a sub genre of the fear of loss, but it's probably the strongest example of that fear that most people will ever feel.", ">\n\nUndoubtedly!", ">\n\nWatching The Last of Us is a VERY different experience as a dad than watching The Walking Dead and Every Stephen King movie ever before becoming a dad.", ">\n\nAfter becoming a dad all horror movies with kids have become a hard no for me. I recently had to turn off both bird box and a quiet place after about 20 minutes. Parenting in the apocalypse is just way too real for me.", ">\n\nStephen King’s Pet Semetary. Holy shit. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.", ">\n\nThat was the main one for me after I became a dad. Fucked me up. That and the baby scene in Trainspotting.", ">\n\nI don’t remember the baby scene, I do remember him swimming into the toilet world to get the suppository back. \n“No fair daddy, no fair” “daddy, come play with me”….. in my son’s voice…. And my wife keeps finding that scene on tiktok and sending it to me", ">\n\n\n!The baby dies when they are high. !<", ">\n\nThat’s the scene…and the ceiling part later on.", ">\n\nNot unforeseen. I'm not a parent yet but am fully aware this will be a thing. I got a dog and I have regular nightmares about her getting lost or dying", ">\n\nWhen I got my cat I was constantly worried about her safety. Then my wife and I had our first child and I can assure you that it is a universe of difference in worry.", ">\n\nYeah that's what I mean. If my subconscious is worried this much about my dog, I know the nightmares and worry will be far far worse when I have kids", ">\n\nNow that you have made me think about it I'm probably going to have those nightmares even though I don't have a kid!", ">\n\nnever love anything. \nproblem solved. EZPZ", ">\n\nHearing about possible impending wars was a bit unnerving when I was young. Now I have two sons and the idea is terrifying.\nI recently rewatched The Pacific and realized I was older because I identified less with the young men and more with the parents having to watch their kids go to war.", ">\n\nI used to hide in the clothing racks at stores when I was out with my mom. I thought it was hilarious. she did not.", ">\n\nYou must be my kid", ">\n\nMy wife is due in March. We are so close. My mom had a miscarriage around this time with my brother and it has been on my mind every night.", ">\n\nCongrats. You will have a beautiful March.", ">\n\nThank you!", ">\n\nI’ve had two nightmares about losing my child - one somewhat recently , and one like 10 years before I ever became a mom. If anything the one from before I was a mom was more disturbing! The more recent one was “I’m awake ok we are good” the other one was all kinds of disturbing to me as I thought it was some omen about what kind of parent I would be.", ">\n\nI’ve had multiple nightmares that my child died. Car accidents, wars, monsters, etc etc. \nI don’t have a child. \nI also had a vasectomy in 2018, because I don’t want a child.", ">\n\nYou must have a very imaginative brain!", ">\n\nHere's another one for you: if you die while they are young (7 or younger) they won't even remember you.\nThe only you they'll know is the one is pictures and videos.\nNo matter how much time and love you give them, you'll be a fragment of a memory they may not even have.", ">\n\nI have memories from when I was 4.", ">\n\nThere is a concept called childhood amnesia. \nMost people have little to no memories from before they were 7.\nEdit: why am I being downvoted? Look it up, it's a real phenomenon.", ">\n\nI have tons of memories from before 7 but no memory of 7 days ago.", ">\n\nYeah I’m confused about what that dude is saying. I was 7 in 1st grade. I can clearly remember a bunch of shit from both kindergarten and pre school. Before pre-k things start to get a little blurry though I can still remember some stuff.", ">\n\nIt's feels like one of those \"facts\" you read in Snapple bottle caps.\nI'm sure some study somewhere showed some correlation between memory formation and retention and some average number of people find that memories prior to a certain age are more heavily influenced by media of those events yadda yadda yadda and that becomes \"if you die before they're 7 , they won't remember you\".", ">\n\nI think it's mostly that, to most people on Reddit, there's not that much difference between being 2-4 and being 7 - they don't have kids and don't remember what it was like being that age. So they just sort of have this vague recollection that childhood amnesia means that you forget things from \"when you're young\", and because they didn't remember exactly when it occurs their brain filled in 7 as \"young.\"\nAnd now they're doubling down (by insisting that people are doubting the concept of childhood amnesia rather than recognizing they got the age wrong by about a factor of two) so they refuse to do the ten seconds of Googling that would tell them the correct age range.", ">\n\nMeanwhile I had a nightmare About my Harley getting stolen. I don't even own a Harley", ">\n\nEvery one of my fears revolves around something happening to my kid, even my fear of death is really just fear that I won't be there for her anymore.", ">\n\nOh wow, that's a scary thought! Parenting is definitely an unpredictable journey, but as long as you keep your kid close and give them lots of love and attention, you should both be able to overcome any nightmares together.", ">\n\nBut that's the thing \"keeping your kids close\"is a pretty new phenomenon. As a kid I was out all day and barely interacted with my parents until Sunset. This wasn't considered part of a rough childhood. It was pretty much the norm.\nThe rule used to be \" be home when the street lights come on\" everybody was happy with that arrangement.", ">\n\nyeah the 80s with the incited panic is to blame on this one. no one wants to take your kids, relatively speaking. But like 'fat is bad for you', 'every stranger wants to steal your children' has somehow stuck when it's just very very unlikely.", ">\n\nI wasnt even an 80s child. I was born in late 88 so my entire conscious childhood was 90s and 2000s. Like I said this is a really new phenomenon.\nTruthfully I think videogames and the internet have more to do with it than any moral panic. \nWhen I was a kid there was just no reason to be inside.", ">\n\nWe had video games, and internet. source- born in same era but definitely more free range and allowed to watch late night dubious and foreign language programming until our eyes went square. Parenting seemed a lot more laissez fare.", ">\n\nYeah we definitely had access but my point is these days it is much more mainstream and children have much less reason to go outside. Don't get me wrong I was an early adopter of both videogames and the internet. \nBut that's exactly my point. Once I realized I could access the entire planet from my bedroom I started going outside waaaaaaay less often. \nI'm not speaking from a \"kids these days\" perspective either because given the choice I absolutely would have spent my days playing videogames. They were just nowhere near as accessible as they are now. I had to go outside to find my entertainment.", ">\n\nThey day you decide to have a child is the day you decide to live with your heart outside of your body. You're so vulnerable. Worse than a Lich to it's phylactery. It was so strange. I had different dreams before having children. And now that I have children, my only dream is to provide and protect. The day they no longer need me is a day I'm not looking forward to.", ">\n\nLast night I had a nightmare where my 5 year old and I were in rags accepting food from a woman who was asking me how long it has been since she ate and I broke down because I couldn't remember. This was the most shame I've ever felt in my entire life. Over 24 hrs later I'm still shook up about it.\nThe thought occurred in my sorrow to just give her to the woman. \nI then realized that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up (a trick I learned as a child due to night terrors.)\nI wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.", ">\n\nNot unforseen at all if you are older than a teenager having a kid. The older you get the more you know how bad the world is and how easily something can just slip from your grasp...right in front of you. It becomes a harder decision as you get older too....but it's worth the risk.", ">\n\nExpecting a baby this summer and recently had the most awful vivid nightmare of our baby being diagnosed with trisomy 13 and having to terminate them. I can only imagine it getting worse once the baby is actually out.", ">\n\nI had no bad thoughts during my wife's first pregnancy, but on the day my first kid was born, it started. It's like this constant little nagging feeling in the back of your head. What if... \nI used to be able to get into a fully relaxed state, eg when hiking or kayaking. Completely empty head, just perceive nature and relax. 8 years since the first kid and I just can't get there anymore. I don't think this kind of anxiety will ever go away again. I like to think of it being the price to pay for having my kids and that makes it a lot more bearable.", ">\n\n... Am I the only parent who DOESN'T catastrophize everything? Not judging the rest of you, but I'm too busy dealing with kid shit that IS happening to think, or even dream, much about things that might happen.", ">\n\nYou have never had a single nightmare about losing your kid?\nIf so, I have nothing but envy.", ">\n\nHonestly? I go to bed exhausted every night. I don't remember my dreams.", ">\n\nUnforseen? I realized this would be an issue when I was 12. \nYet another reason i love being child free. My wife and i discuss it when we watch Criminal Minds", ">\n\nThis precisely one of the main reasons that made me don't wanna have kids haha", ">\n\n100% this. I practically don't care what happens to me at this point (hooray depression!), but I go insane at the thought of something happening to my kid. I just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.", ">\n\n\nI just hope that it doesn't turn into \"overbearing parent that protects their kid from every teeny tiny possible problem\", since that's a different issue that develops from that.\n\nSelf-awareness is the first step to avoiding it :)", ">\n\nBecoming a parent opens your eyes to a depth of love you could hardly fathom before. \nIt also does precisely the same for fear.", ">\n\nOhh okay those. I haven’t had one in a while. Running yessh. They sucked.", ">\n\nWe have window air conditioners and live on the 2nd floor. I have a very specific and irrational fear that my kid is going to grab the power cord right as the AC falls out the window, dragging my kid out the window with it.", ">\n\nYou a fan of Seinfeld?", ">\n\nnot really? Was that an episode?", ">\n\nYeah. Not a baby exactly but Kramer. Almost falls out the window. S5E3.", ">\n\nWell, I certainly respect the show. If I overlapped with a Seinfeld joke, that's a huge compliment! Thanks!", ">\n\nI started having nightmares before my daughter was even born. They went away at about two. But I still worry, 30 years later.", ">\n\nIt kinda happens with me too but for my baby neice. Weird terrible nightmares that she might get hurt so whenever I'm around I'm extra EXTRA careful with everything", ">\n\nWoke up sobbing one night a couple months back. Worst dream I’ve ever had.", ">\n\nLol I am not even a parent and I have had these fears since my first niece was born", ">\n\nIts awesome especially when youve watched every true crime documentary out there and now you cant let your kid out in the garden without thinking someone will hop the gate snatch them and disappear.", ">\n\nMy kid is grown now with a kid .. the fear continues … never ending", ">\n\nWatched Manchester by the Sea a few months after my first daughter was born. Didn't know what the movie was about, went in blind. Do not recommend.", ">\n\nI'm a first time parent with a one month old. Literally just woke up from my first major kid related nightmare. He was dropped from a helicopter. It was horrific.", ">\n\nUnforeseen? Nah. Kids are off the table for us at this point, but when we were trying it was literally the only thing on my mind.\nOur cat died in 2015 and it was one of the most painful couple weeks I've experienced. I kept imagining how much worse it would be if I had a terminally sick child or if something just happened to them.", ">\n\nMy entire parenting process is preventing my kids from dying", ">\n\nmakes sense", ">\n\nOh, mercy yes. I watched 28 Days Later in the theatre (like and idiot) when my daughter was a toddler. It wrecked me. My mind involuntarily inserted her, dressed in her red coat and adorable little hat. Into. Every. Scene. Someone else said it elsewhere in this thread: Since 2001, the apocalypse is way too real.\nEven aside from that, I sometimes have to find a way to distract myself from the horrifying images my mind conjures up of what could happen to her. She's 22 now! She doesn't even live in the same town I do. You'd think that would help ... It doesn't.", ">\n\nIm sure you didnt mean ACTUAL nightmares, but a good few years ago I had gotten to the point where nightmares didn't bother me at all and i could fall right back to sleep with no issues. Fast forward to now and I have an 18 month old. I have literal nightmares of my daughter dying basically bi-weekly and it scares the living shit out of me. Can't sleep for the rest of the night and I just stare at the baby monitor to make sure she's okay.", ">\n\nLosing your kid AND your kid possibly becoming a murder suspect, involved in human trafficking, etc.", ">\n\nAs a father to a four year old, I am really happy I stumbled across this thread to know that it is not just me being over-the-top with anxiety!\nI let my daughter explore and learn about the world, I just try to remove dangers as much as possible while teaching her about how to be safe. \nI hope this anxiety gets better with time.", ">\n\nFor me it got easier with the next 2 kids. I am less worried about them because the first has already \"been there, done that\" and I know what to expect. Unfortunately, the first kid has to bear the anxiety burden because he does everything first. BUT we work very hard to make sure we keep that in check as to not burden him with our worries.", ">\n\nI was literally getting a massage yesterday while my husband took our 18 month old to the mall and I kept replaying horrible scenarios of him losing her over and over again 🙃", ">\n\nI'm a big fan of horror movies, but there are quite a few that hit different since becoming a parent, and some I'd rather not watch at all anymore (Pet Sematery for example)", ">\n\nThree nightmares I’ve had since baby was born last year that stand out:\nSomehow baby is in my bed and gets smothered by my blankets \nI have forgotten about baby and find her crying and emaciated in her crib\nHands reach from underneath the crib and pull her through the rails and underneath the crib", ">\n\nBeing a 10+ year older sibling, I’ve already experienced almost every feeling of parenthood. (I’m 31 and still believe this is true.)\nAnd I do get worried when my younger siblings go out and party lol.", ">\n\nThat is how I ended up in outpatient a few months ago. I never had kids of my own but becoming a full time step mother introduced me to a new world of fears.", ">\n\nThis is to real, my imagination has ran through many scenarios where this is a possibility. My heart drops, I tear up and panic. Quickly compose myself and shake it off but the feeling does return.", ">\n\nOP's first day with a brain cell folks, everybody give them a hand for finding the keyboard to cringe post obvious nonsense 👏", ">\n\nAnother reason not to have kids. I love positive reinforcement on that decision.", ">\n\nI have younger siblings so I can understand that early on, and it makes me not want children", ">\n\nLast night I had a dream where I fingered my wife then had a Pokémon battle.", ">\n\nI had the same dream!", ">\n\nYep. Would've been nice to know that ahead of time. No one tells you.", ">\n\nThere are so many other nightmares that also involve not losing your kid", ">\n\nThis is painfully true. Driving anywhere with my kids is automatically more stressful than driving by myself, simply because I cannot trust other drivers with their safety.", ">\n\nOne of the main reasons why I won't have kids. I have enough anxiety as it is, worrying about anything happening to your kid would put me over the edge", ">\n\nYou could ramp up my anxiety a thousand times until it became utterly crippling and I still wouldn't trade relief for my son.", ">\n\nSo true. So much hits different including movies, books, music, stories from other people, stuff that never bothered you before suddenly really does.", ">\n\nSo original, this sub is a joke. Amazing new and improved shower thoughts\nWhy don’t you let actual original thoughts get posted?", ">\n\nI had these nightmares when I got dogs but not so much since I've had kids. Yet...", ">\n\n“Neverending Story” that shit is fucked up. And “Flight of the Navigator”. Parents missing their kids like it’s nothing" ]